#if I start on december stuff now then I can work on january stuff the rest of break

[bluebellwrenwrites]

I think I’m gonna actually commit to doing a monthly challenge and Whumpcember seems like a lot of fun 👀👀

[soaps-mohawk]

I'm so sorry to everyone that I freaked out with the last post, I was trying so hard not to 😭 I have that like instant fear as soon as I see "we need to talk" or something in the same vein. I always think it's something bad.

This isn't bad, at least depending on how your perspective I guess.

So...I'm having thoughts about CRCB in October. I planned out posting schedules for Kyletober and CRCB and my Patreon stuff and it's going to basically be a post every day, sometimes multiple in multiple places.

That's a lot.

So, I am set on doing Kyletober since all of the fics are already written, but I was planning on continuing CRCB during October as well. But...I think I need a little break from CRCB. It's been about eight months of posting almost every single week and it's been a lot. I'm struggling with chapters right now and with work it's vastly limiting the time I have to write and focus on things and I'm kind of burning out right now.

So, what I wanted to discuss was potentially putting CRCB on hold for October while I focus on Kyletober and everything involved with that. Trying to do both is a lot and I'm not sure I can handle all of it, plus life, plus work.

I was planning on not necessarily putting CRCB on hold, but doing more of a "whenever I can/am inspired" random posting chapters kind of like I did in the beginning when I first started writing the fic, in November/December because those are very busy months and I will be dead tired from work and just general life.

I think I might still do that for November/December and possibly into the new year since there's no way the fic will be finished even if I posted every week until the end of December.

BUT

That's something I'll think about and make a decision on later.

Right now, my thought is...would you hate me if I put CRCB on pause in October? IF I do, I promise I won't end Chapter 39 on a cliffhanger. I wasn't planning on it anyway, but I promise I won't end it on a cliffhanger if I decide not to post any chapters in October.

That way if I do put it on pause, then I can not focus on it for a bit and give my brain a refresh, and I can also focus all my energy on Kyletober.

So yeah, it's going to be a lot doing both at the same time, and honestly I'm ready for a little break from CRCB. It's been going for a long time and it's a lot of words to get out in a week. I've been super stressed lately and I'm just struggling a lot trying to get through chapters.

So yeah. That's basically the dilemma here and the discussion to be had. I know y'all will tell me it's my blog and I can do whatever I want, but I would like opinions on it. Are y'all okay with me putting CRCB on hold to focus on Kyletober? Then pick it back up for probably just whenever I can chapter updates for the rest of the year? In January things will calm down and I'll have more time to relax and write and maybe get close to finishing the story. Plus I know a lot of my readers will be busy the next three months with the holidays and vacations and family and school and all of that, so you won't have to worry about getting behind and having to catch up with a bunch of chapters.

So...let me know...

[ravenstargames]

✦ Lost in Limbo Devlog #14 | 12.02.24

And November is over! This month has been filled with paperwork, organizing receipts, and so on, which isn't very fun, but it's part of the job!

We are making great progress with everything overall; merch has been ordered and we have received proof and approved it; our voice actors are already delivering the voiced names y'all paid for during our Kickstarter campaign; and more! Let's see it in detail, shall we? :^)

Our dear Raquel has been working hard (I think I say this every devlog, but damn) on reworking the sprites for the extended demo now that the Special postcards for the Kickstarter are done! For this next batch, she'll be working on Ara and Amon, so here's a WIP of how Ara is looking so far! 💜

I think you can see how her design is already more detailed and cohesive in some areas. We'll most likely ask for feedback when Amon is ready too, to test the waters with both characters like we did with Gael and Xal :^)

The street is coming to life! This background is almost ready thanks to Astro. We'll have four new locations in the Extended Demo to help with the pacing and the introduction of our world and story to (hopefully) make it perfect. Or something close to it!

In the writing department, I've so far added 7000 words to the prologue. We have one flavor choice, two personality choices (and several personality reactions), and three "relationship choices". These basically shape your relationship with Evie in this case. For example, you'll be able to choose if you are intimate friends, are warm to each other, or if you prefer something less physical / touchy. And Evie will remember that!

And this is just so far. While River has a kind of "set" personality, I want people to be able to shape some aspects of their life.

In the writing department I should also include the documents I've provided to our VAs, and to our composer, Tomás. More on that below!

We have a proper help screen! Wohoo! 💜

Now you can enjoy Ren'py's default help screen but looking a bit nicer. This is for those who are not familiar with Ren'py's usual keybindings and stuff :^)

Nothing else on the programming side this month. I've focused on writing the script and that's going to be my main job until I can actually start programming something!

As I said before, our beloved voice actors are already working on the voiced names! In fact, Xal's VA (Francfil Pontañeles) and Pride's (Pat Langner) already recorded them! A little surprise is that we have been able to add our default MC's name, River, as a voiced name. For those of you who want to play with that name, you'll also enjoy some voiced lines!

What else—ah! We are already working with Tomás for our OST, and we have settled in 19 tracks total. Those are even more tracks than we expected! This is thanks to you all, and especially thanks to those of you who ordered more merch via Backerkit. You made those four extra tracks possible!

Our merch has been checked and so far only the pins are missing a preview and therefore our approval. We had to edit some files (beginner's mistake!) but being the first time we do this, I'd say things have been rather smoothly! We'd like to be able to start shipping this month, but it may not be possible. Which is a bummer! But well, we settled in December / January, so January it is, if nothing happens!

(Don't mind the colors being too flashy here—they will look more cohesive in game!)

OH, and the last extra bit! I've been working on the personality choices, as you all know, and Kayden has been helping me make the icons that will appear next to those choices for those who are colorblind. An extra thing to make them pop and differentiate them better! I think they are pretty self-explanatory, and if not, well—that means we have to give those icons a twist!

November has been a chaotic month for me due to the aftermath of the floods and my vacation week. The rest of the team has also had their good amount of irl stuff happening around them, but we've made it! The new year is approaching faster than I thought, as per usual, and I hope we can finish 2024 on a good note!

And that's all! As always, please take care, have fun, and enjoy the rest of the week!

[rustbeltjessie]

I haven’t made a pinned post in a while, but since it’s my birthday month and I’m struggling right now, I figured it’s a good time to make one.

First, let me introduce myself. I’m Jessie Lynn McMains, aka Rust Belt Jessie. I’m a writer (poetry and prose), artist, zine-maker, spoken word performer, occasional musician, small press publisher, and general jack of several creative trades. I’m queer—bi/mspec and nonbinary (I use they/them, she/her, and he/him pronouns). I’m disabled and neurodivergent, and the parent of two kiddos. Politically? Well, I consider myself an anarchist at heart, but I still vote in every election. I think everyone should be able to have enough food, and a safe place to live, and yeah, even a few ‘unnecessary,’ fun things, just by virtue of being alive. As for the rest of my beliefs, you can probably garner a general idea if you peruse my blog even a little.

Now, onto the nitty-gritty. We had about ten days between when our last month’s food money ran out and when this month’s came in. It has been refilled as of today, so I don’t have to worry about that for the moment, but because of that gap, I had to spend money I’d set aside for other stuff on food. I paid our rent and energy bill for the month, but I’m a couple months overdue on our Internet bill, and I don’t want to risk that getting shut off. And then, well, it’s December. I’m trying to buy my kids some Christmas presents, and it’s not just my birthday month—my youngest kiddo’s birthday is four days before Christmas. Because of all this, I’m also way behind on writing stuff. I owe my zine subscribers a new issue (I didn’t send anything at all in November), and I’m trying to finish up some pieces to record for my new spoken word EP, but I’ve had to focus on day job and side-hustle stuff that’s more immediately lucrative, so I haven’t been able to dedicate much time to finishing these projects.

If you’d like to throw some $$ my way so I can get some gifts for my kiddos, keep my Internet on, get back to my writing, and maybe have a less-stressful birthday month than I did last year, I have V*nmo (JessieLynnMcMains) and P*yp*l (coeur.de.fantome [at] gmail[dot]com).

But hey, hey, I’m not just asking for something for nothing! I have a lot of stuff available on Ko-fi (rustbeltjessie), including print books and zines, ebooks and zines, and pins, and you can also hire me as an editor or commission a custom mini-collage. And almost everything is sliding scale/pay-what-you-can, some with a minimum price, others starting at $0.

And that zine subscription? It’s still not too late to get in on it, even though the year is almost over. If you sign up now, you’ll receive all previous issues, along with this month’s when it’s finished, and the final two will be mailed out in January.

Or perhaps you’d like to buy or commission something I don’t officially have for sale. Maybe you’d like to buy one of my existing pieces of art? Or commission a custom pin, designed by me, based on the band/film/fandom/whatever of your choice? Or commission a custom postcard poem/art piece, on the subject of your choice? Or have me write you a custom mini-zine, on the subject of your choice? I can do all those things! DM me, and we’ll work something out!

Oh, and I mentioned above that I was working on a new spoken word EP? Go check out my full-length spoken word album, Self-Portrait With Ghosts and Trains, which was released by Hello America Stereo Cassette in July 2021. You can find it at helloamerica.bandcamp.com. (I do get royalties from that release periodically, but it’s not as immediate as if you purchase something directly from me.)

All that said, I know times are tough for most people right now, so please don’t feel obligated to purchase anything or otherwise send money my way. And, as always, even just a few dollars helps, as does reblogging/boosting this post. 🖤

[which-item-poll-archive]

Archiving Which-Item-Poll

Trigger tag list - at the moment outlines NSFW tags but will cover other tags soonish

Tag directory - A key to the tags I use as well as ways to browse by category or the month the poll was originally posted.

Please follow @pick-an-item-poll as they're continuing to post polls where you choose an item

If you want to follow the original blog's new poll blog, it's @hear-me-out-poll

What is this blog?

Basically I'm trying to (manually) reblog everything from their blog to this blog to create a more permanent archive once which-item-poll deactivates the original blog. I'm doing this because tumblr's search functions are notoriously useless for finding specific posts and many posts get entirely lost without a blog's archive page. Additionally, this preserves the tags that contain the information about the items, most notably the websites where they can/could be found.

Once the archive is complete and posted, we'll see where this goes from there.

@which-item-poll if you want me to delete a specific post or a couple that I re-blogged from you please ask me and I will. (Even after you've deleted the blog, since I know your main)

About the Archivist

You can call me Arc (not my name, but it works for now), I'm non-binary and my pronouns are she/they! I'm not the original owner of which-item-poll. I'm typically slow to respond to messages, but will take any suggestions into consideration even if I haven't responded to you yet.

Archive progress

Currently in the queue:

July, August, September, October, November and December 2024

Completed Months:

*January, *February, *March, *April, *May and *June 2024

(* these months still need their category tags reviewed and possibly edited)

Needs to be queued/drafted:

Anything posted by OP between now (30/12/2024, 8:20pm EST) and when they decide to deactivate the blog.

Updates

Everything is now in the queue!

I found my draft about opening submissions :) Now I just need to edit it so it's coherent.

The tag directory is completed! It can be found at the top of this post! Since it was a majority vote to not change it, I'm going to leave it as is for now. I'll run another survey on if it's too long once I've pretty much completed it.

02/01/25 EST - Days left until completed archive: 17 days at 50 posts a day.

I've finished queuing and drafting existing posts and are now waiting to archive any future posts between now and when the blog is deactivated.

Previous updates under the cut

Update: My autotagger wasn't working, which I found out about 1200 posts into this. Currently working on restoring tags to the posts already reblogged. I've managed to fix my autotagger but I had to clear the queue and drafts. (I didn't want to do it... but must to preserve my sanity.... and more importantly my wrist) Once I've got the tags back on the January posts (manually) I'll be able to fill the queue and drafts back up with the original tags intact.

Update: Everything that was posted had the tags added back on. Resuming queuing posts (and I've confirmed that the autotagger is copying the tags). Starting the queue again since there's enough in there to run while I sleep.

Update: I have been misspelling February in all of my tags. I will fix this and continue to fix this as they get posted from the queue.

Update: All the miss-spelt tags have been corrected

Update: I made the pinned post nicer to read! I also added some information.

Update 15/12/24 EST: If I run the queue at 50 posts a day, it will take 45 days to post everything from the original blog to this blog.

19/12/24 7pm EST - Taking a very short break from working on the archive as I have my final assignment due for a university course due tonight. (in about 10 hours in my local time). I should be back to doing stuff with it tomorrow. :)

Update 21/12/24: I'm back to it and working on adding tags to posts before making a directory again. For now, All current archival posts and ones that are in the queue now have the tag #which-item-poll-archive

Update: I have lost my draft about new submissions somewhere :(

Since it was a majority yes vote on the survey about new polls, I'm currently considering how I'd go about doing that.

NSFW items are on their way to the top of the queue. Here's a post about the tags to block if you don't wanna see them! :)

The tag directory is completed! It can be found at the top of this post! There's also a new survey about it. Is it too long?

I'm also going to try and post some things manually to get that time down, but can't guarantee that I can do this a lot due to things happening IRL.

Needs to be queued/drafted:

Any posts remaining in which-item-poll's queue or any other post made between time of update (4:47am on the 15th of December EST) and when OP decides to deactivate the blog.

Pretty close to queuing everything now. Going to include some of the repeat posts from the month of December that were meant to let people know the blog was deactivating ect. But I'm not going to include every single reblog of them. Just for the sake of slightly smoother browsing whilst still backing up the posts.

[bomberqueen17]

while i've got the file out

So the last bit of time when I was at the farm, I finally gave in to the pressure of @sassaffrassa's art and started reading the Queen's Thief series.

It's... It's great, I'm not as obsessed with it as some (the selective concealment of stuff that POV characters know but the reader can't Until The Reveal is... clever but rubs me the Wrong Way, not enough to throw me out of the book but enough that I do find myself resenting it, but totally understand how it works beautifully for other readers) but it is extremely, extremely ripe for fanfic, I allow that. And I found that it made me think about the fics of Ciri in Nilfgaard again. It certainly made me realize my error in not including any slaves in the Nilfgaard settings-- that's a big dynamic I missed an opportunity to include, but it's not a thing I like to think about and so I had mentally assigned it all to just be slaves working fields etc., which as anyone knows is like. Only a percentage of what societies that contain slavery actually use slaves for. There should have been enslaved people in the households, all through the society, and Ciri objecting to and wanting to change that could have been an entire underlying theme.

But it's not, because I had meant to write that story as a 5k oneshot, and also I'd entered it right out of Goblin Emperor fic-writing, and whatever that particular fictional society contains, it doesn't have any enslaved people. So I just hadn't thought of it.

Anyway, a digression, but-- it made me, on one exhausted evening, reread the next bits I was going to publish of Not A Crest, and then I still didn't feel like writing but I wanted to keep reading so I dipped into my extras/cut scenes/written ahead docs, and I found an entire a/u I'd come up with and wrote 5k of and then realized i couldn't possibly fit in anywhere.

But. It stands alone somewhat, and I could strip it out of this world and create a new backstory and file all the serial numbers off that too, and...

well now I have another book to write, so I've started a doc with the serial number transpositions in it, LOL.

Now that I'm done at the farm, I have December, January, and probably February without any major commitments. If only I can wrangle my ADHD-or-whatever into some kind of shape, I can hope to bang out at least rough drafts of a couple of these things, or at least enough of them to know whether there's anything to pursue. And, I hope, I can achieve some of my other personal goals around the same time as well. If only I could miraculously learn how to operate a to-do list and make/keep a schedule........

Behind the cut, I'm gonna summarize the a/u snippet and my plans for it. We'll see how this goes.

So this plot depends on Ciri's powers of teleportation and time manipulation, so it can't possibly be in the same continuity as the mammoths and the tall ships, but that means I have a ton of leeway in worldbuilding. It needs to be fantasy-ish but it could be sort of cyberpunk if I wanted. Really it could be just about anything, provided that not-Ciri (I've already renamed her Leila) can still uniquely manipulate time and space, and the mechanism of how she does that is unimportant. It should have a cost, of course, which will be part of the worldbuilding.

So the backstory would be that a larger kingdom/nation-state/whatever kind of polity gobbled up Leila's when she was a young teenager, and she spent her youth as a guerilla, fighting or fleeing and honing her survival skills. There was some larger existential threat, related to the as-yet-undone worldbuilding, but the reveal is that the larger polity attacked and absorbed its neighbors in order to fortify itself against a yet larger invading power-- could be another kingdom, could be like, space invaders, I really haven't decided yet.

Leila meanwhile has come into her powers finally, and has begun to be able to manipulate time and space. i'm going to give her a wise and powerful sorceress mentor, Yennefer-like; instead of Geralt she might have a sword tutor slash captain of the guard or something, an older man who loves and protects and teaches her. Undecided; don't know whether he's important for more than backstory.

And this is all backstory, mind. In this backstory, she finally comes to aid the armies of the polity she had been fighting against, to resist this greater existential threat/invader/whatever. And as part of that she's paired up with this universe's version of Morvran-- I've renamed him Corbin since it means Raven but I'm still open to changing my mind on that. Anyway he's got the important bits of Morvran-- he's both a hostage and a presumptive heir, far too young and far too responsible, a strange balance of overly powerful and completely vulnerable. And for the duration of the backstory, he is helping this mystical enemy-turned-ally (Leila) fight a desperate, scrambling battle using powers that none of them entirely fully understands.

And he has an underling, an aide-de-camp, a young woman who keeps track of things and isn't much of a fighter, and that's where Luliana comes in, and I think I'll keep her name since i made it up anyway. She's a relative of his perhaps, a little older than he is, but allowed to be close to him because she's so unimportant, and she's really his only friend. And she of course falls in love with Leila, who to everyone's surprise falls in love back. Corbin is secretly delighted with this.

The war is long and difficult and horrible things happen to everyone, but in the end they triumph. And Leila is brought back to Expansionist Polity, her own homeland being so thoroughly encompassed and destroyed there's no restoring it, and the leader (perhaps he was injured in the war? perhaps he was already dying? perhaps he's just a guy who wants to retire?) begs her to become his heir, which effectively deposes Corbin, who silently doesn't mind it. But the rest of the government does mind it, and insists she marry Corbin to give them stability. Corbin privately proposes that they have a paper marriage; he is not inclined that way himself, you see, and he would be delighted if Leila and Lu kept their relationship and just let him be nearby, the way they did in the war. Leila counter-offers; she'll stick around long enough to make everyone feel safe and happy, but then she and Lu will run off someplace to live in peace, and leave Corbin to rule and to marry whoever he actually likes. Corbin, too used to not letting on his feelings about anything, agrees to this. And so they all rule together for a year and a day or whatever, Leila gets a bunch of the reforms she'd wanted pushed through, they get along marvellously, and then Leila disappears mysteriously, as agreed.

She and Lu go off and live happily somewhere peaceful. She is unexpectedly bored, Lu is homesick and sad, and her sorceress mentor finally finds her and scolds her for running away. "Haven't I done enough?" Leila asks, and her mentor is like obviously not, but doesn't have anything to convince her with. Until a little later, when the sorceress comes back and tells Leila that Corbin is dead, assassinated. He could not in fact get by without her.

Leila uses her powers to go back, but arrives too late, finding Corbin's head on a spike and his hands nailed below. She notices his hand still has both their wedding ring and the ring she'd given him as an engagement gift on it. He was supposed to have moved on and found himself a better partner.

She musters the last of her power and jumps back a little farther, interrupting the assassination attack, but she is again too late; Corbin is mortally wounded. She sits with him as he dies, and with his last breath he admits that he has always loved her and never wanted her to leave. She needs to jump again, and doesn't have the power for it, but sucks the last of his life-force out to do it, which is unethical-- she also draws from his would-be assassins and the guards who betrayed him, knowing it's a terrible thing to do but will be largely erased by her abandoning this timeline. There'll be a cost and I'll worldbuild that in too, however it makes sense once I've written it.

And this is all still backstory, and the story begins as she arrives, just in time, to interrupt the attack and save Corbin's life, wounded but not mortally. But this time Corbin has some self-possession left, and he is still wearing her rings and apologizes for it and merely admits that he was relying on his enemies' remaining respect for and fear of her. We the audience have not seen Leila's two previous attempts and do not know what she knows.

(Yes, yes, I was complaining that the Queen's Thief series relies too much on this, but I admit I'm trying to figure out whose POV this is from, and I may well not use Leila's, in order to make it not dishonest to exclude this knowledge. We'll have to see what seems honest to me as I'm writing it.)

And the story goes from there, as she tries to restore his rule and tries to figure out which version of him is lying, the one who said he loved her with his last breath before she stole the rest, or the one who calmly, collectedly bled all over her and politely apologized for his inability to do as she had asked him to and find a different spouse.

Obviously I need more plot than that, but it will come to me, I'm pretty sure. But that's where I'm starting. As I've said before, I'm a pantser, and that means I can't outline the plot or I'll paralyze myself.

[inkdragonworks]

Monthly updates are back! Who knows for how long…

I started back up on this mid-November, over a month ago, so I'll be combining that with December's work.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

The bulk of it finishing functionality on the Chapter 3 enemies. Ratsa Go, Slush, and Chipper are completed now, and a round of fine-tuning was conducted on the rest.

Some initial tile-setting/background work has begun. Chapter 3 takes place in Snow Machinia, on the peak of Mount Glitteroam, so it'll have a wider variety of spots compared to Chapter 2's caves.

This one's the mountain peak pass towards the city! It introduces the snow and wind effects, something that'll persist throughout the rest of the chapter. Wind especially plays an important role in conjunction with the new Propeller Gadget.

The rest of December was spent jumping to the middle of Chapter 3, at the construction site, refining the level design and scripting cutscenes for it.

Chapter 3 is really where the story gets going by the end, and while that sounds weird, I think by that point you'll have a good grasp on who Poppin and Jupa are, and introduced to all the major characters of the main plot. The structure also helps support potential exploration and side quests, stuff that I really hope to get into in the future.

Here's a portion of the level design for now. These two larger rooms are separate buildings, with multiple routes to go up it. You can either stick to climbing one building, weave between the two, or explore both of them for all their chests.

Besides Chapter 3, some additional brainstorming occurred on Chapter 4. That part of the game has been the most tricky for me to settle on, and I feel like I'm closer to something I'm happy with. It's difficult balancing all the elements; the main difference is the second half of it is light on story cutscenes, compared to the rest of the game. Like a "dungeon" type of area… though I wouldn't say it's as complex as one.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'm hoping that for January, I can finish up the level design and cutscene scripting for the Construction area, and finish up Chapter 3's main boss, Rickity.

A lot of his attacks were already completed way back, so it should be a matter of making his desperation phase, intro/outro cutscenes, and then balancing out the states of which attacks he selects.

And from there, idk, it depends on what I feel like doing. Jumping to the earlier part of Chapter 3, continuing with the rest, more tilesets/backgrounds, or maybe enemy/obstacle coding for Chapter 4. It's good to keep things open for the sake of interest and not getting worn out on just one thing. Coding enemies or cutscene scripts get less fun when you're on the 8th one in a row.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

That's about it for Poppin & Jupa: Pocket Adventure! Enjoy the snow, if you live somewhere that still gets it.

[fereldanwench]

I didn't want to completely sit out a year-in-review, but for reasons I'll explain at the end of this post and under a cut, doing the traditional pick-one-pic-from-each-month approach just wasn't going to work for me. So instead, here are 20 of my favorite shots (in no particular order) of Valerie from 2023!

(I'll share solo Goro shots and shippy/story shots in two other posts before the year ends.)

Some thoughts about this year (cw for anxiety and depression mentions):

So yeah. I actually hadn't planned on joining in on the virtual photography year-in-review fun in part because... Well, frankly, I wasn't sure if it would actually be fun for me.

Although I do have pictures for every month, the first third, maybe even half, of the year was a struggle on almost every conceivable level. A lot of it was shit that carried over from the end of 2022, which was also an incredibly difficult year for me. I don't really want to delve too deeply into why--Some of it was personal, some of it was professional, some of it was fandom, and if you know, you know.

The main obstacle I had here is that looking at a lot of the shots I took from about January to May (give or take a few weeks on either end) honestly reminded me of Bad Times™️. I've worked really hard to pull myself out of that depression/anxiety cycle and return to a healthier approach to fandom and online socialization in general, but I just didn't want to spend a lot of time in that mental space. There are a few shots from those months that made it to my favorites, and I hope one day I can look back on that stuff and just feel the good from it again. Alas, that day is still not here.

But I am happy to report that the other reason I wanted to approach the review differently is a lot more positive! It's also two-fold: 1) I spent the earlier part of this year exploring more of a technical side of virtual photography and 2) I was really prolific the last third or so of this year so trying to narrow faves from about August until now was just not possible.

One of the few good things about the end of 2022 was being able to upgrade my graphics card, which meant I then had a rig that could support ray-tracing and hot sampling. As a result, I started putting a lot more focus on lighting and getting acquainted with new tools. I also was trying to work with the new AMM posing system, which is very convenient in some ways (100s of poses without reloading the game!) and a complete pain in the ass in others (can't move characters without their poses breaking!). Custom photomode poses + Nibbles Replacer has been the game changer I've been waiting for.

Or to put it more succinctly, December 2022 through about April 2023 felt like a relearning/return to basics kind of creative period, which is essential, but also means I just don't really like a lot of what I did, lmao.

Then, shockingly (I'm not shocked at all), starting treatment for my anxiety and depression in the second half of this year suddenly made creating a lot easier and fun again! Crazy how that works.

Even bumping this little review up to 20 shots instead of 12, there are still pictures from the past few months that I had to cut as favorites. There was just no way I could condense the amount of fave shots I took from August to now in just 5 options.

I also owe quite a bit of this revival to modders for asking me if I wanted to take shots for them--Exploring more of a fashion photography approach to my shots I think did a lot to build on what I had learned earlier in the year and encouraged me to try something new. I don't want to tag anyone in this long-ass glorified diary entry, but if you invited me to take mod shots for you, just know that it really meant a lot. ♡

And that's where my head has been with a yearly review! Is filling out a little template with 12 pictures this serious? No, it definitely is not, lmao. But hey, overthinking shit is still something I'm working on. ✌️

[moonshine-nightlight]

2025 Writing Plans

With this being the third such yearly plan post, i think its officially a tradition lol. my standard disclaimer is this is my high level plan right now, subject to change and likely overly optimistic, but still worthwhile to make and try to layout. posting about writing plans gets me excited for the new year.

here's what i'm thinking:

Nothing's Wrong With Dale: Borrowing some of my plan from last year, i need to finish my own edit of Dale, hire an editor, commission cover art, and then self-publish. I'd love to get all that done in time for december publishing, but given how long everything was taking last year, i'd settle for just pushing it over to editors by the end of the year.

Short Stories: I want to finish off Courtship Confusion and Free Piano: Haunted this year, along with at least one other new story, but i am not trying to predict what that might be lol. maybe one that's been on my shelf for a while,maybe the one i started a couple days ago, maybe a new idea I havn't even had yet, like Voluntary Sacrifice. Nothing's gonna get posted until May at the earliest.

Novella(s): I'd like to kick off work self-publishing two other Novellas: a combo naga novella (Finally Woken and Selfish) and Sacrifice. No idea how far I can get between my edits and revisions, scrounging up the money to pay for editor/publishing/cover art, and pulling together some sort of timeline for all that, but I want to get it all going so i have more self-published work out there (it'd b really cool to go to a con or something in 2026 and have a set of books to promo and not just 2 lol - not to get too ahead of myself).

Series: I want to make Sacrifice the first novella in a 6 book series, each focusing on a different deity returning to the temple with the final book about all of them coming together against a common enemy, likely focusing back on the MC from Sacrifice. I have some note sand outlines for the different stories (although they all need better titles). Currently, I was considering them being a published exclusive, but I might still post abridged version on here, especially as I work through my ideas. So for 2025, in addition to getting Sacrifice further on it's own publish journey, i want to complete all the outlines and notes, solidify the characters, etc - everything i need to start writing these stories.

Longer stories: I still want to work on planning them out and making a decision on one to start posting next, like with Dale, but I don't think that actually posting anything longer like that will happen in 2025 (see everything else i want to do above lol). Still, getting organized is important and i'm looking forward to fleshing them all out and knowing which one i'll be diving into next.

So lots of stuff i want to get into and multiple things I want to try to finish off lol Definitely overly ambitious, but its getting me excited to get to writing.

As always, my day job is extremely busy January - April and this year is no exception so new stories until that time passes.

Feel free to send in any asks about upcoming/current stories! I'm looking forward to all the exciting writing and publishing to come in 2025!

[stargazer-sims]

First Visitor

Nora: Your place is great, Forest.

Forest: Thanks. You know, I feel like I should be mad about my dads kicking me out, but I'm kinda not. I like it here so far.

Nora: What's not to like? This is a nice little spot, and you've got your freedom. No annoying siblings, nobody yelling at you or telling you what to do.

Forest: Nobody yelled at me at home either.

Nora: But the other stuff still applies.

Forest: Yeah, and now I can finally be myself. Know what I mean?

Nora: I do know what you mean. And you know what? I'll bet a lot of people are super envious of you right now for getting out and finally being free.

Forest: You think so?

Nora: Totally.

Forest: Like who?

Nora: People who are dying to move out 'cause they're sick of their parents' bullshit. Who needs a curfew, or your parents being all weird about who you date? I do what I want, and Cody doesn't care who I invite over to our place.

Forest: Cody's your boyfriend?

Nora: Not really. Students can't have a teacher as their boyfriend. Another stupid rule, but I don't want him to get fired, so...

Forest: He's a teacher?

Nora: Yeah. You know Mr. MacAllister? The guy that's on his work placement from uni? It's him, but he's only going to be at our school until December, and then he's going back to university in January to finish his program. He's like my roommate with... secret benefits, you could say.

Forest: Benefits? You mean, like, you slept with him?

Nora: Why do you look so shocked? Don't tell me you and Caroline never did it.

Forest: We didn't, actually.

Nora: Well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised. Caroline is obsessed with rules. Her parents probably told her she wasn't allowed and she just blindly followed along. Uh... no pun intended.

Forest: No, I don't think her parents told her she wasn't allowed. She said she didn't want to, and I respected that.

Nora: If she said she did want to, would you have done it?

Forest: Probably. Like, I don't really know how, but we would've figured it out, right? Camellia and Hayden did, and I'm pretty sure Caroline's friend Rainbow has too. Like, a lot, 'cause she's always talking about it.

Nora: I heard a rumour that Rainbow did it in the janitor's room with some alien guy. Not that I blame her. The risk of getting caught makes it so much more exciting.

Forest: Did you ever do it in there?

Nora: Not yet. I'm waiting for the right person to come along.

Forest: Such as?

Nora: Maybe you, if you're up for it.

Forest: I already told you, I don't know how.

Nora: That's not a problem. I can teach you a few things, but it mostly comes naturally anyway, once you get started.

Forest: I kinda want to, but...

Nora: I'll bet Caroline's gonna do it with her new boyfriend. You don't want her to get ahead of you, do you?

Forest: If she wouldn't do it with me, I doubt she'd do it with Ben.

Nora: Seriously? Have you seen him? She probably just didn't want to do it with you because she wanted some jock. You know how athletes are. Totally obsessed with perfection.

Forest: Do you really think that's it?

Nora: Of course it is. You didn't live up to her expectations, so she kicked you to the curb like trash. Now me, on the other hand... I'm interested in getting to know you for who you are, and I can really appreciate a soft body too. Men like you are way more cuddly then guys like Ben.

Forest: You think I'm a man?

Nora: Unless there's something you're not telling me, or I missed too many biology classes.

Forest: It's not that. It's just that it makes me sound grown up.

Nora: Well, you are independent now, aren't you? How many little boys do you know who're living on their own?

Forest: Good point.

Nora: Ooh... I just thought of something!

Forest: What?

Nora: We should go to the Harvest Dance together. Imagine how mad Caroline will be when she sees you having a good time and not moping around because she broke up with you.

Forest: You really want to go to the dance with me?

Nora: Why wouldn't I?

Forest: You never seemed interested in me before. Like that, I mean. Like a boyfriend.

Nora: I didn't want to be accused of trying to steal my cousin's boyfriend, did I? I could hardly have asked you out while you still had Caroline hanging onto you, but we don't have that problem any more. Now I can have you all to myself.

Forest: All this time, you really wanted to ask me out?

Nora: Mm-hmm. So, will you go to the dance with me?

Forest: I wasn't planning to go, but yeah. Now that I officially have a date, why not?

Nora: Great. I already have the perfect dress.

Forest: What's it like?

Nora: Let me keep that a surprise, but I think you'll appreciate it. It hugs all my curves.

Forest: So, like most of your normal clothes, then?

Nora: You've noticed.

Forest: Kinda hard not to, honestly. You do get dress-coded a lot.

Nora: Stupid dress code. Teachers just don't understand freedom of expression. If you've got something to show off, you should be allowed to show it off. That's what I think. School has too many dumb rules.

Forest: If you don't like it, why are you still in school? You're on your own, so you could quit if you wanted to, right?

Nora: I could, but if I didn't go to school, how would I get my daily entertainment? High school is way better than any soap opera.

Forest: Is it really worth the hassle, though? I'm kind of thinking about quitting. My boss at the pizza shop would probably give me full-time hours if I was available.

Nora: If you do it, let me know and I'll quit with you. We could get a place together, and we could do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted.

Forest: I don't know if that's really a good pl—

Nora: Shh... no more serious talk. You need to learn some stuff before we go out together.

Forest: Is this okay? Shouldn't there be like, consent or whatever?

Nora: I consent. If you consent too, we're good. Besides, it's just kissing. It's not like we're taking each other's clothes off or something. I mean, not that I don't want to take your clothes off you, but...

Forest: I don't want anyone to take their clothes off.

Nora: It's cool. We can save that for another time. Now, show me your skills and stop worrying.

Forest: *whispering* Is this good?

Nora: You're a quick study.

Forest: Thanks.

Nora: I never would've guessed this is your first time kissing a girl.

Forest: It's technically not my first time. I've kissed Caroline on the cheek a few times.

Nora: You're adorable, Forest.

Forest: Is that a good thing?

Nora: *laughing*

Nora: I'd better get going, but I'll come back tomorrow if you want, or you can come over to my place.

Forest: I'd like to come over to your place, if that's okay.

Nora: Awesome. I can't wait to show you around. It's not a very big apartment, but I have an amazing bedroom. I think you'll really like it.

[ms-m-astrologer]

The Week Ahead: December 30, 2024 - January 5, 2025

Lunar Phases

Monday, December 30, 22:27 UTC - New Moon, 9°44’ Capricorn

The key phrase for the New lunar phase is “set a new intention for the month” - nothing extreme, just a good habit you think you can establish in one month’s time. Excellent for planning long-term, for adding structure and discipline, and for hard work that pays off.

Friday, January 3, 07:46 UTC - Crescent Moon, 28°23’ Aquarius

The key phrase for the Crescent lunar phase is “gather and mobilize resources.” The Moon happens to be void of course, when this phase matures, so it would be better to wait for her to enter Pisces (15:21 UTC) and then use intuition.

Void of Course Moon

Sunday, December 29, 23:34 UTC (Sagittarius) - Monday, December 30, 04:37 UTC (Capricorn)

Wednesday, January 1, 06:02 UTC (Capricorn) - 10:50 UTC (Aquarius)

Friday, January 3, 04:13 UTC (Aquarius) - 15:21 UTC (Pisces)

Sunday, January 5, 14:30 UTC (Pisces) - 19:01 UTC (Aries)

Retrograde/Direct/Etc.

Pre-retrograde shadow: Juno/Scorpio

Retrograde: Mars/Leo, Jupiter/Gemini, Uranus/Taurus, Eris/Aries

Post-retrograde shadow: Mercury/Sagittarius (until Friday the 3rd), Saturn/Pisces

Transiting Mercury exits its post-retrograde shadow on Friday, January 3, 03:14 UTC, at 22°40’ Sagittarius. Yippee!

Ingresses

Thursday, January 2, 23:09 UTC - transiting Vesta enters Scorpio

Vesta enters her pre-retrograde shadow in a couple of weeks. This first part lays the uneasy groundwork for what lies ahead.

Friday, January 3, 03:24 UTC - transiting Venus enters Pisces

Venus also will enter her pre-retrograde shadow before the transit is complete. There’s a lot of Piscean uncertainty and fog for her, in the next few weeks.

Et Cetera

There are two Opportunity Periods this week:

Monday, December 30, 21:57 UTC - 22:57 UTC. This is one-half hour before and after the Capricorn Mew Moon. “If you have something important to start around now, this is a great time to do it.”

Sunday, January 5, 11:57 UTC - 14:30 UTC. “This Sunday OP is good for play, meditation, helping others, etc.”

Just below here (scroll down a bit!) are some excellent suggestions to take into the Capricorn New Moon. We have a really good chance at success if we’re willing to work hard and be patient. (All that Capricorn stuff!)

Very early Friday, we have the second Mars Rx-Pluto opposition. Please be careful as 2025 gets officially underway! Don’t take any unnecessary physical risks, try to put out vibes of being honest about & with ourselves (before putting the hammer down on others), and have a good outlet for excess physical energy. (I always say, clean the bathroom - maybe excavate the debris in the corners of your room, and throw away what you don’t need any more.)

In the mundane world: It’s interesting that right now as this opposition nears its second pass (of three), some of the DonVict’s supporters are waking up to their idols’ real opinions about them, via the H-1B immigration controversy. The first opposition matured back on November 3 (two days before election day!), when Mars was in Cancer and Pluto was finishing up in Capricorn. The third & final opposition happens Saturday, April 26 - stay tuned!

[iexistforidkwhatreason]

My experience with Lumii/HoneyStarlightz/Lumiidere/Lumii after dark/KiramekiCookie

I have to get this out of my system because I'm deadass tired of watching this person wander around as if they're innocent when they aren't, and I'm also annoyed because of people not noticing what this person does behind the scenes because it now takes one quick Google Search using the prompt "Luca Wii Sports" to go down the rabbit hole. This is about HoneyStarlightz/Lumii.

Lemme begin with the minor stuff. So you know how Lumii has a massive grudge against me because of most of, if not all the stuff I drew in my DeviantArt account? Almost everything there was drawn when I was a FUCKING MINOR. I am 20 years old as we speak, and most of the drawings Lumii mentions happened BEFORE MY 18TH BIRTHDAY on the 1st of December, 2021, and I'll admit, during most of that time, I was a dumbass, immature, and an edgelord. I then stopped posting anything bloody and/or revealing but continued to post harmless drawings before my 18th birthday happened. October 11th of last year was when I stopped posting on that account all together because I found out that DeviantArt was blaming Hamas and Hamas only for the Palestinian deaths and making it as if the Israel military didn't do a thing to innocent lives in Palestine after Hamas attacked.

Next, we have them making me look like an asshole for shipping Luca with Abby (The one shipart I made of the two apparently traumatized them). Back when I was 17, I decided to draw Abby and Luca, two Miis I'm not a fan of, nor close to, as a couple because I thought shipping the two was a good idea. I then posted the finished product on the 23rd of January, 2021. The drawing was not meant to traumatize anyone. It was JUST. SHIP. ART. OF. ABBY. &. LUCA. The only bad thing about that drawing was that I shoved my opinion of the two Miis down people's throats in the description by asking how the hell do people like them because to me, they're just not fun to play against at all, and even then, it was drawn three to four years ago, and I don't even ship the two anymore. I ship Abby with Wii U Barbara now. Mate, I didn't even know Lumii EXISTED back then, let alone know they had a massive love for Luca.

Next, there's the clear as day hipocrisy that people have yet to notice somehow. So you know how Lumii has "Opinion Bashers" on their DNI list, right? On that same list, they also have people that hate, despise, even dislike Luca, instantly making them a hypocrite because they said they don't want to interact with people who just cannot tolerate others having a different opinion while also saying that if you think Luca is not a good Mii, you're instantly on their shit list. Also, they said no exceptions, meaning you can be the nicest person in the world, but if you dislike Luca, go fuck yourself.

I have several friends that like Luca a lot, some of which are here on Tumblr. I do not like Luca. We get along perfectly fine. I don't understand why they feel like Luca haters and Luca lovers can't co-exist when they clearly can. Just don't be an ass to others when it comes to what you think of the character, mate.

Lastly, we have the fact that they cannot take criticism. They said criticism is prohibited on their DeviantArt profile, which means that you can say anything positive about their art, but if you say anything negative, then nope. Get out. Oh, I'm so sorry I gave you a harmless critique that was just saying what I didn't like and how you can improve. I apologize.

Seriously tho, how sensitive can you be to the point where you prohibit people from critiquing your work? Or is it that they can't criticize you? Or is it both?

Now we go to the bigger stuff, starting with the TRANSPHOBIA ACCUSATIONS and obvious delusion. They said, and I quote "please shut the fuck up for calling him "Lucapoopa", "Boring", "Annoying", "Scum" and "Tedious" for the love of fucking god, he's fucking overhated and y'all are too harsh and transphobic at him, fucking hell".

Luca is not canonically trans. Don't even say he is because of unused data because I did my research, and the only unused data he has is facial hair related. Don't get me wrong, Luca being trans is a HC that I'm completely fine with. If you want to headcanon him as trans, fine by me. Trans rights all the way, mate. Don't fucking call people transphobic just for disliking Luca tho! Luca is not canonically trans, and even if he was, bold of Lumii to assume that someone that hates Luca hates him because he's trans. He appears as an opponent in three games and there's a chance that he might piss you off in all three.

How delusional do you have to be to see someone hate a character that isn't trans outside of your HC and go "Oh, they're transphobic"?

Next, there's fullblown insensitivity. I decided to check on DeviantArt for something, and I get a DM from someone. We had a chat about Lumii, and in that chat, they showed this...

Can you spot the insensitive part? Here, I'll make it easier for ya.

I'm completely fine with people giving dark backstories to Miis in their HC, but there's a line, and you crossed it. Can we not do rape related headcanons, please? I feel like that should go without saying because, oh, I dunno, that shit is OBVIOUSLY IN BAD TASTE!

Lastly, there's something I cannot show here because if I do, I'm going to get in trouble... It has to do with porn...

Lumii has a total of three accounts that I bumped into while looking at Luca images on Google that have porn of Miis on them. They have a Newgrounds account (KiramekiCookie), which has two drawings of Luca porn, a Bluesky account (Lumii after dark), which has twelve, and a Twitter/X account with the same name, which not only has porn of Luca, but of other Miis too... AND THERE'S AN UNGODLY AMOUNT OF IT, MOST OF IT BEING LUCA PORN! TELL ME YOU'RE OBSSESSED WITH OUT TELLING ME YOU'RE OBSSESSED!

I make YOU uncomfortable, Lumii? I make YOU uncomfortable?! You drew Luca laying eggs, you drew a worrying amount of Luca porn, and yet you have the AUDACITY to say I make YOU uncomfortable when you're obviously worse, you fucking hypocrite?! You drew art that is bound to make several people uncomfortable the moment they see it on the THREE ACCOUNTS you have, you falsely accuse people of transphobia, you obssess over Luca an unhealthy and uncomfortable amount, and yet I'M the one in the wrong because I drew ship art of Luca and Abby and art that has blood on it years ago?! I don't get your logic!

BTW, for those who say that this could've been resolved privately, it couldn't because Lumii has blocked me on DeviantArt, and they also blocked me on an old Tumblr account of theirs too, meaning that talking to them was out of the fucking question. They CLEARLY did not want to talk it out. They just wanted to avoid me entirely while also antagonize me for shit I did years ago that wasn't even that bad compared to the crap they did.

Lumii, if you manage to see this, which I know you will because I know you have a Discord and I know someone's gonna send a screenshot to you on there... All of this could've been avoided had you just been a better person.

[2024-grimoire-challenge]

December Prep

Hello everyone and welcome to the 2024 Grimoire Challenge!

I'm your mod Hazel/ Basil and my main blog is thehazeldruid.tumblr.com

So for December's prompts we will be setting things up and getting prepared for the challenge. We'll be using a lab notebook, as we did in the last challenge I ran and a similar format to both of the other challenges that I ran! Check them out at the links below

2019grimoriechallenge.tumblr.com

2022grimoirechallenge.tumblr.com (this one didn't make it a full year as I had some personal things come up that prevented me from completing it!)

Now, to jump into things properly, let's start by getting our lab journal ready. This is a notbook that goes alongside this challenge and is a tool to help you work through and understand your own craft. Here's a short video on lab notebooks to give you and idea of what we'll be doing with it.

Now along with the lab notebook, I recommend keeping a a meditation/ dream journal that will also go along with the challenge. Both of these can be plain old notebooks or loose paper stuffed into a folder.

"But Hazel, why two notebooks if all this stuff is going into my grimoire?"

So for a long time, and in I would imagine most peoples practices, their grimoires or books of shadows are not really a fancy big thick notebook. Mine was a folder stuffed with loose leaf paper for the longest time.

While the lab notebook is going to be used for the practical side of the challenge, during spellwork and rituals and so on to help you build that side of your practice, the other journal is going to be used for the personal side. To help you understand your feelings, your spiritual side, your thoughts on what you're doing and studying. Think of it as a literal journal or diary!

Next we'll talk about Planning and Routine. Now, you don't have to take this challenge so very seriously that it rules your life. Once the prompts are posted, there will be a list of them on the blog that you can go back to whenever you have time. But if you're someone who strives on structure, then by all means, take the time set aside each day to perform the prompt on the day it is set for. And stick to it. Plan ahead and create a routine to help you get into a groove for working through the challenge. Set aside the time each day, find a space where you won't be interrupted, have your resources and tools prepared, and go nuts!

That said, I will be making all of the prompts ahead of time and having them all more or less queued (hey I have a full time job and a family after all) so that I'll be able to add supplemental posts, prompts and ideas on the fly.

Once you have your notebooks, and your plan made up, we'll be prepared to start in January! I look forward to all of you taking part and encourage everyone to share resources by asking questions on posts, leaving messages in my inbox with resources and ideas as well as submissions of your progress!

So what all do I recommend we have for this challenge?

A regular journal

A dream journal

Your collection of information

Your supplies for making your grimoire

and of course your Grimoire itself

Thanks!

Mod Hazel

[pearl-likes-pi]

please bullet point explain how you went from memes to dreams i am so curious

Ok basically

2015 - graduated hs, started college in Atlanta, started making SU memes

2016 - got internship/co-op at CN Games (coincidentally right by my school), kept making memes, eventually the CN social media team asked me to do freelance for them, started meeting the SU cast at cons and stuff

2017 - the year where things got crazy lol, YouTube and memes thing was pretty wild at this point and I got to start collabing with the cast. CN decided to do a Steven Universe podcast and asked me to host it and then I also interned on the show at the same time to learn about animation production. Moved to LA for the summer for that

2018 - kept doing the podcast remotely from Atlanta and YouTube and college

2019 - podcast ended, started getting really serious about voice acting and taking lessons, got a voice acting gig, got hit by a truck (lived!). Graduated college (December) and got hired for a PA job on an animated sitcom @ Titmouse starting next January in LA

2020 - moved to LA start of the year, started working as a PA, got VO agent, pandemic, worked remotely and tried not to go crazy all alone in LA, got promoted to production coordinator, pretty much stopped YouTube after SU ended

2021 - finally broke in as an assistant animatic editor on a different animated show at Titmouse (Beavis and Butt-Head lol), continued taking a lot of VO classes

2022 - promoted to assistant editor and then Animatic Editor™ on B&B, somehow managed to make the leap to animatic editing on Jentry (honestly forever gonna be grateful they were willing to take a chance on me)

2023 - now I'm animatic editing on Jentry and auditioning for VO jobs all the time as well (and occasionally even booking them, when I'm lucky lol)

I'm sorry I tried to be brief but also im bad at summarizing lol, if anything doesn't make sense lemme know. i feel so grateful so many people were willing to help me get to where I'm at so im genuinely always happy to answer any questions if my experience can help other people in the same boat!!!!!

[radioactive-metal]

little funny fic

was reminded of the pandemic today (nearly 5 years since the first recorded case… good lord how time flies) and the election has me a bit (very) jittery, so I figured might as well make some fanfic, it might get my mind off of kt

so without further ado, my really dumb idea that I might expand upon later

what if the squad were stuck on deployment when future covid struck?

written in my notes app so far styling and spelling and stuff are probably terrible but I’m tired

AL:150, 16th of December 2380

Semperternity:

AL SIGINT division camera 725:

A gremp in a grubby coat wanders into frame, he locks eyes with a portly Terran and they swap paper bags. The human looks inside and walks off.

The gremp opens the bag, removes a cut of raw meat, and yawns. It then rubs its eyes.

18th of December 2380:

Aurora Legion Field hospital patient report 726437:

Species: Gremp

Ailment: unknown 

Symptoms: Persistent cough, fever, nausea, loss of taste and smell.

Treatment: Painkillers (Tylenol 100mg).

Mucus samples sent to lab for testing.

19th of December 2380:

AL neutral zone primary medical laboratory report:

Sample number 283636:

Common cold: negative

Influenza: negative 

Lystergia: negative 

Other respiratory viruses: negative

Notes: I ran these tests multiple times. Whatever this thing is I haven’t seen it before. Tests indicate it can infect at least 10 different species of sentients.

Quarantine the subject immediately.

January 4th 2381: 

Current semperternity case count: 284.

Tyler: My fancy new cybernetic eye really saves me so much trouble sometimes. I can sit in my dorm and read the news while sipping my coffee, saves me from having to get the physical copies from down in the cafeteria.

The legion is bumping up resources being sent to semperternity, I heard some whispers about a new virus or something? I have mission with the squad to deliver some medtech out that way later today.

March 12 2381:

Current total case count: 1,002,933

Current cases in the legion: 726

Scar:

My first thought when they sent us out to a listening post for an easier mission was “this will suck”. Imagine my surprise when our deployment is extended from 20 days to 20 weeks at the earliest because of this new virus, Covid-80 or something. Came out of semperternity and theirs big worry it’s some kinda of Rahaam offshoot, cause ya know, of course, once in a century pandemic just after a once in an aeon weed uprising. Just what we needed.

The one benefit is that I get to room with fin for the foreseeable future…. I hope the walls are thick.

Auri:

Time is once again laughing at me. The memories of the last pandemic I had to live through are still fresh. I never got over seeing New York that empty… such a freaky sight. Now I’m stuck in another one… yay? They kept the old naming scheme though, I had Covid-53 but now we have Covid-80. Very futuristic. But now me and the rest of the squad are stuck out in the boondocks on a rinky dink station for the next looooooooooooong while.

Maybe I can finally get everyone to watch the Lord of the Rings movies…

March 21 2381:

Current total cases: 1,103,833,936

Cases in the legion: 2,026

Tyler:

I enjoy reading about history, and I have nothing but free time given my… current situation.. so I’ve started reading the histories of pandemics in the past. I read about the crippling effects of the Spanish Flu pandemic of 1919, of the far reaching social impacts of the COVID-19 pandemic. Of the political change from the Ghentpox. I’ve called in a favor with an old friend currently working in the labs, and I’m seeing the numbers: I don’t think this will let up any time soon.

I might have to call in some favors, or some company, or both. I fiddle with the Syldrathi Blade on the table, and I make a call.

Finian:

Don’t get me wrong, sharing a bunk with Scarlett jones is quite possible the 2nd best thing to ever happen to me, the only thing better being dating her in the first place, but between her and the lack of zero G I’m barely able to walk. I might have to convince her to share my quarters on the Zero.

Anyways, I’m bored out of my skull, I’m only here for emergency repairs, so I have nothing to do on the average day beyond screwing around with whatever scrap electronics I can find. My Exosuit now has: a second bottom opener, an emergency oxygen system, a gremlin and the EM hardening to resist it in a special power mode, Solar charging, a Maker Damned Cupholder. I and genuinely running out of things to do. Maybe I should make something for Scarlett….

April 2nd 2381: 

Total cases: 1,356,736,378

Cases in the legion: 7362

Kal: 

I have come to understand why my culture emphasizes time to be alone and time being away from one’s Besh’mai. Without that, we would all spend all our days simply lying in bed with our beloveds. I have had amble opportunity to do so, and my heart aches when I think of when this will all be over.

I wake up with my Besh’mai next to me, we eat breakfast together, we play the card games Scar organizes together, we watch the pirated holovid movies finian has together. My heart is full to bursting with joy. Even my words here cannot describe it, for how does one describe a rainbow to a blind man? How does one describe an orchestra to a deaf man?. I can say this much, it is true peace to have her here, and I thank the ghosts of syldra for smiling at me so.

Saedii:

My shuttle was the last vessel to leave new syldra. I received special admission to travel from the Galactic Health organization. Gone are the days where my mighty ship sailed the void with no care for such organizations, but such things must be put aside to rebuild a culture.

I arrived at the backwater station after 16 hours of folding. Tyler Jones had personally invited me here, and though I loathed to admit it, I missed his company. I guide my personal shuttle into the docking bay, next to that hideous ship that I had planted a tracker on what was only months ago. And what long months they were. From officially organizing the reintegration (NOT surrender) treaty of the unbroken into sydrathi society to reorganizing the warbreed away back into a part of the whole, I had scarce time to catch my breath

Part two coming sometime maybe

[mandos-mind-trick]

Hi.

It's currently 8:00 on a Sunday night so I don't think anyone is gonna see this but if I don't do this now I'm going to talk myself out of it.

First off, I wanted to say thank you again for everyone's kind replies and messages regarding my last post. I do appreciate every single one of you and your kindness. It's nice to know others do/have felt the same way. Y'all really are too kind. I'm honestly not sure if recovery is possible for me but it's nice to hear about others who have recovered.

I now come to you to share a bit more of what's going on and why things are just so fucking bleak for me. I'm honestly a little ashamed to even be sharing this and everything in me is begging me to not say anything which is why I need to post this now before I talk myself out of it.

So, late last year I found out that I was likely going to be laid off from my job sometime in January. I kind of knew it was coming and expected it but in December (literally the week of Christmas) I learned that it was going to happen for sure. I still don't have a date, and still have a schedule but those of you that have been laid off know it could literally come at any time.

Of course I was saving money through the busy season (or at least trying to, I'll get to that in a moment) because I thought I was going to get laid off last week, or even the first week of January. A lot happened in the last couple months that really kind of threw things into the toilet. I had to start paying on a student loan (a private one so I have no choice) and I had some back pay on some stuff that I had to take care of to avoid you know, getting sued.

Things would have been fine, it all would have been okay, except that I wasn't expecting my job to cut my hours so drastically before they laid me off. I went from 40 hour weeks to 24 hour weeks. So yeah. I'm kind of fucked right now.

I haven't even been able to pay rent this month and it's not looking like I'm going to be able to. I'm not at risk of being homeless yet. My landlord can be willing to work with people but they've been lenient with me in the past when I've struggled and I'm not sure how willing they will be to do that again.

And before anyone asks, no, I don't have family or friends that could help. I'm quite literally on my own in this world so that's not an option for me.

So, on top of everything else, I also have this to deal with.

I appreciate everyone's kind words and offers of help but there's no help for me. There's no hope for me anymore. This is why death feels more welcome than whatever the hell I'm doing now. I wouldn't call it living.