#if I ever go back and review these in depth i just might

[anim-ttrpgs]

Help Save the World of TTRPGs and Their Creators.

Okay I’m being a little dramatic, but at the same time I’m pretty serious. This is a call to action, and the livelihoods of myself and lots of other people, many of them (like myself) disabled, are depending on it. This is a post about why, what you can do about it, and (perhaps least often answered) how.

This post is actually an accompaniment to another discussion by someone else. If you don’t want to listen to a 90-minute in-depth discussion of much of what I’m about to tell you, you can just keep reading. Otherwise, click here or here and listen to this either before or after you read this post. (They’re the same thing, just different sources.)

If you have ever made or reblogged posts urging people to switch from Google Chrome to Firefox, you should be willing to at least give a try to other TTRPGs besides D&D5e for much the same principle reasons. I’m not telling you you have to hate D&D5e, and I’m not telling you you have to quit D&D5e, I’m just asking you to try some other games. If you don’t like them, and you really want to go back to D&D5e, then go back to D&D5e. But how can you really know you won’t like other games if you have literally never tried them? This post is a post about why and how to try them. If you’re thinking right now that you don’t want to try them, I urge you to look below to see if any of your reasons for not wanting to try them are covered there. Because the monopoly that WotC’s D&D5e has on TTRPGs as a whole is bad for me as a game designer, and it’s bad for you as a game player. It’s even bad for you if you like D&D5e. A fuller discussion of the why and how this is the case can be found in the links above, but it isn’t fully necessary for understanding this post, it’ll just give you a better perspective on it.

If you’re a D&D5e player, I’m sure at some point or another, you’ve been told “play a different game”, and it must get frustrating without the context of why and how. This post is here to give you the why and how.

[The following paragraph has been edited because the original wording made it sound like we think all weird TTRPGs suck.]

Before that though, one more thing to get out of the way. I'm going to level with you. There’s a lot of weird games out there.

You are gonna see a lot of weird TTRPGs when you take the plunge. Many of them try to completely reinvent what a TTRPG even is, and some fail spectacularly, others really do even up doing something very interesting even if they don't end up being what a core TTRPG player wants. But not every indie RPG is a Bladefish, lots and lots of them are more 'traditional' and will feel very familiar to you, I promise. (And you might even find that you like the weird experimental bladefish type ones, these are usually ideal for one-session plays when your usual group can't play your usual game for any reason.)

You're also going to probably see a lot of very bad games, and man have I got some stories of very bad games, but for now I'm just saying to make sure you read the reviews, or go through curators (several of which will be listed below), before you buy.

Now that that is out of the way, I’m going to go down a list of concerns you may have for why not, and then explain the how.

“I don’t want to learn a whole new set of rules after I already spent so much time learning D&D5e.”

Learning a new set of rules is not going to be as hard as you think. Most other TTRPGs aren’t like that. D&D5e is far on the high end of the scale for TTRPGs being hard and time-consuming to learn and play. If you’ve only played D&D5e, it might trick you into thinking that learning any TTRPG is an overwhelmingly time-consuming task, but this is really mostly a D&D5e problem, not a TTRPG problem as a whole.

“D&D5e has all of these extra online tools to help you play it.”

So what? People have been playing TTRPGs without the help of computers for 50 years. To play a well-designed TTRPG you won’t need a computer. Yes, even if you're bad at math. There are some TTRPGs out there that barely even use math.

“I’m too invested in the narrative and characters of my group’s current ongoing D&D5e campaign to switch to something else.”

There are other games, with better design made by better people for less money, that are the same kind of game as D&D5e, that your current characters, lore, and plot will fit right into and do it better. And no, it's not just Pathfinder, there's others.

“I can’t afford to play another TTRPG.”

You probably can. If you’ve only played D&D5e, you might have been made to think that TTRPGs are a very expensive hobby. They aren’t. D&D5e is actually uniquely expensive, costing more than 3x more than the next most expensive TTRPG I can think of right now. Even on the more expensive end, other TTRPG books will cost you no more than $60, most will cost you less than $20, and a whole lot of them are just free. If you somehow still can’t afford another TTRPG, come to the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book club mentioned below, nominate the game, and if it wins the vote we will straight up buy it for you.

(By the way, if you had any of the above concerns about trying other games besides D&D5e, that really makes it sound like you are in a textbook abusive relationship with D&D5e. This is how abusers control their partners, and how empires control their citizens, by teaching you to think that nothing could ever get any better, and even though they treat you bad, the Other will treat you even worse.)

“If I don’t play D&D5e, which TTRPG should I play?”

That’s a pretty limited question to be asking, because there will be no one TTRPG for everything. And no, D&D5e is not the one TTRPG for everything, Hasbro’s marketing team is just lying to you. (Pathfinder and PbtA are not the one system for everything either!) Do you only play one video game or only watch one movie or only read one book? When you finish watching an action movie like Mad Max, and then you want to watch a horror movie, do you just rewind Mad Max and watch it over again but this time you act scared the whole time? No, you watch a different movie. I’m asking you to give the artistic medium of TTRPGs the same respect you would give movies.

“I want to play something besides D&D5e, but my friends won’t play anything else!”

I have several answers to this.

Try showing them this post.

If that doesn’t work: Make them. Put your foot down. This works especially well if you are the DM. Tell them you won’t run another session of D&D5e until they agree to give what you want to do at least one try instead of always doing only what they want to do. This is, like, playing 101. We learned this in kindergarten. If your friend really wants to play something else, you should give their game a try, or you’re not really being a very good friend.

If that doesn’t work, find another group. This doesn’t even mean that you have to leave your existing group. A good place to start would be the A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club which will be mentioned and linked below. You can also go to the subreddit of any game you’re interested in and probably meet people there who have the same problem you do and want to put together a group to play something other than D&D5e. You might get along great with these people, you might not, but you won’t know until you try. Just make sure to have a robust “session zero” so everyone is on the same page. This is a good practice for any group but it is especially important for a group made of players you’ve just met.

“I only watch actual plays.”

Then watch actual plays of games that aren’t D&D5e. These podcasts struggle for the same reasons that indie RPGs struggle, because of the brand recognition and brand loyalty D&D5e has, despite their merit. I don’t watch actual plays, or else I would be able to list more of them. So, anyone who does watch actual plays, please help me out by commenting on this post with some non-D&D5e actual plays you like. And please do me a favor and don’t list actual plays that only play one non-D&D5e system, list ones that go through a variety of systems. The first one I can think of is Tiny Table.

“I can just homebrew away all the problems with D&D5e.”

Even though I want to, I’m not going to try and argue that you can’t actually homebrew away all the problems with D&D5e. Instead, I’m going to ask you why you’re buying two $50 rulebooks just to throw away half the pages. In most other good RPGs, you don’t need to change the rules to make them fun, they’re fun right out the box.

“But homebrewing D&D5e into any kind of game is fun! You can homebrew anything out of D&D5e!”

Firstly, I promise that this is not unique to D&D5e. Secondly, then you would probably have more fun homebrewing a system that gives you a better starting point for reaching your goal. Also, what if I told you that there are entire RPG systems out there that are made just for this? There are RPG systems that were designed for the purpose of being a toolbox and set of materials for you to work with to make exactly the game you want to make. Some examples are GURPS, Savage Worlds, Basic RolePlaying, Caltrop Core, and (as much as I loathe it) PbtA.

“I’m not supporting WotC’s monopoly because I pirate all the D&D5e books.”

Then you’re still not supporting the smaller developers that this monopoly is crushing, either.

Now, here’s the how. Because I promise you, there’s not just one, but probably a dozen other RPGs out there that will scratch your exact itch.

Here’s how to find them. This won’t be a comprehensive list because I’ve already been typing this for like 3 hours already. Those reading this, please go ahead and comment more to help fill out the list.

First, I’m gonna plug one of my own major projects, because it’s my post. The A.N.I.M. TTRPG Book Club. It’s a discord server that treats playing TTRPGs like a book club, with the goal of introducing members to a wide variety of games other than D&D5e. RPGs are nominated by members, then we hold a vote to decide what to read and play for a short campaign, then we repeat. There is no financial, time, or schedule investment required to join this book club, I promise it is very schedule-friendly, because we assign people to different groups based of schedule compatibility. You don’t have to play each campaign, or any campaign, you can just read along and participate in discussion that way. And if you can’t afford to buy the rulebook we’re going to be reading, we will make sure you get a PDF of it for free. That is how committed we are to getting non-D&D5e RPGs into people’s hands. Here is an invite link.

Next, there are quite a few tumblr blogs you can follow to get recommendations shown to you frequently.

@indierpgnewsletter

@indie-ttrpg-of-the-day

@theresattrpgforthat

@haveyouplayedthisttrpg

@indiepressrevolution

Plenty of podcasts, journalists, and youtubers out there do in-depth discussions of different systems regularly, a couple I can think of off the top of my head are:

Storyteller Conclave (I’m actually going to be interviewed live on this show on April 10th!)

Seth Skorkowsky

Questing Beast

The Gaming Table

Rascal News

Lastly, you can just go looking. Browse r/rpg, drivethrurpg.com, indie press revolution, and itch.io.

Now, if you really want to support me and my team specifically Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy, our debut TTRPG, is going to launch on Kickstarter on April 10th and we need all the help we can get. Set a reminder from the Kickstarter page through this link.

If you’re interested in a more updated and improved version of Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy than the free demo you got from our website, there’s plenty of ways to get one!

Subscribe to our Patreon where we frequently roll our new updates for the prerelease version!

Donate to our ko-fi and send us an email with proof that you did, and we’ll email you back with the full Eureka prerelease package with the most updated version at the time of responding! (The email address can be found if you scroll down to the bottom of our website.)

We also have merchanise.

[delirious-donna]

The Best Worst Father’s Day [Nanami Kento]

an: I wrote this in like 20 minutes because i was ‘inspired’. Kento deserves a fantastic Father’s Day but let’s be real… kids are not always willing to deliver

pairing: Nanami Kento x female reader

warnings: fluff, mention of a child, suggestive at the end, kids being assholes, tantrums (not just the kid), Kento being a fucking hero, breeding kink (if you squint)

Masterlist

It was Father’s Day and it also marked the day that your precious bundle of not-so-small joy decided that they were going to be a nightmare. All day.

The morning started out on the right foot, Kento snoozing peacefully with his sleep-soaked face pressed into the spill of your cleavage, a subtle drunk smile plastered to his face. Awoken by the telltale stomps of what your child affectionately tried to pass as tiptoes grew closer to your bedroom door, you blinked away the dregs of sleep just in time. A head peeked inside, drowsy and rubbing their eyes with a beloved teddy bear tucked under one arm like a newspaper.

You smiled and whispered a good morning before pressing your finger to your lips and pointing to their sleeping father. The answering giggle melted your heart as you heard them scamper downstairs, awaiting their breakfast and entertainment for the morning.

Lost in a kaleidoscope of rose-tinted memories that led to this moment, you combed softly through the blond locks of hair hanging low on his brow. Kento shifted, his eyebrows pinching and smoothing out until he rolled over and continued to sleep. He deserved it, he really did.

All those nighttime feedings, endless nappies changed, hours of reflux and windings that never seemed to yield results. The skinned knees and the tears. A million cups of tea at your bedside table before your bleary eyes even opened for the day. Car seats researched to the nth degree for safety reviews and practicality. First steps. Their first word, and of course it was ‘dada’.

The years had sped by at an alarming rate, feeling as those dark tortuous hours in the depths of winter were only yesterday. There had been far more good times than bad, and without Kento by your side the whole time, you weren’t sure how you would have managed. He might not be your Father, but you were determined his day would be one of the best.

However, that slice of idyllic tranquility would be the last, although you did not yet know it.

Whether the stars had misaligned or some demonic imp had decided today was the perfect day to toy with the emotions of a young child, you didn’t know. What you did know was that they were ‘on one’, and no amount of coaxing or reminders of whose special day it was would deter their rampant destruction.

Kento, diligent and steadfast as ever, refused to back away from the plate. He smiled through the gift giving which consisted of a beautiful handmade card by his darling angel, the very same darling angel who was kicking off because they couldn’t watch their favourite tv show right now. Aptly, the bottle of whisky could not have been a better choice, and he glanced surreptitiously at you with a knowing smile.

From there it went from bad to worse. Tantrums and tears, and not only from the hellspawn, ensued. Your sobs of “you’re meant to be relaxing today, not doing all of this” fell on deaf ears. No amount of cajoling or attempts by you were working, leaving Kento to swoop in like a hero just minus the cape and with the addition of a garish tie.

You watched from the kitchen door, enormous mug of tea in hand and a tissue dabbing your puffy eyes as Kento chased your child around the garden. The laughter broke your heart, but in that way that a happy ending in a movie also broke your heart.

There he was, the man infamously referred to as stoic and reserved, growling like a lion and throwing your little darling around to hollering whoops of laughter. If only they could see what you saw, if only they had known right from day one that behind the cool facade was a man that would do anything for his family—for his wife.

With energy levels finally depleted and the boss level of bath and bedtime tackled and won, you fell into his open arms. Your nose buried in the collar of his shirt, inhaling the spice from dinner on his skin and drinking in the warmth he exuded.

“I’m sorry, Kento,” you mumbled, lip wobbling from the stresses of the day. The anger that had sizzled in your veins only hours ago defused into a mass of misery.

“For what?”

“For the shitshow that was today! Don’t ‘for what’ me.”

Kento tilted your head up, his thumb beneath your chin and his lips upon yours in a soft rush that surprised you. The red wine from dinner melted onto your tongue, pushed deeper as he took and took, only to give back everything and more.

Finally, he pulled back with a contented hum. “Father’s Day is all well and good, but you gave me the best gift you ever could years ago… a baby that has grown into a wilful little mischief maker just like their mother.”

If you weren’t already emotional, you sure were now. Tears brimmed in your eyes only to be caught on the pads of his thumbs. Soft kisses decorated your cheeks and you grasped fistfuls of his shirt in earnest.

“Better stop talking like that, or I’ll give you another one, mister.”

“Mm, now that has made my day. I’ll give you to the count of ten to strip and kneel on the bed,” he breathed in your ear, biting the shell and playfully grabbing at your backside.

“One… two…”

[phospheneics]

Girlll I just graduated 🤪 and I am an Aizawa whore so I was wondering if you could write a Aizawa x reader who just graduated. She has been having a crush on him for the longest and a few months after graduating she somehow crosses paths with him and ykyk something blossoms between them ;)

girl, you and me both 🍬

6:45 am, 8/14

As you made your way through the busy and bustling streets of Musutafu, you found yourself at your local coffee shop once again before your 9-5 shift. Since your graduation from UA 3 months ago, you have just been working an office job in the city while figuring out your career plans. Although studying in the hero course, your heart wasn't really set on becoming a hero. 

After placing your order, you step out of line and take a seat at a small table in the corner. You pulled your laptop out to review your tasks for the day. You do this every morning before you even go into work. You always make sure to get to the coffee shop early so you'll have the time to do this.

As you're going over your tasks for the day, lost in thought, you hear your name being called. 

"Y/N?"

You look up to see none other than your former teacher, Shota Aizawa. His comforting and familiar presence immediately washed over you. His reassuring demeanor was truly what made you fall for him months back. Thinking back on it, you cringe at the fact that you probably made your feelings for him a bit too transparent. 

"Aizawa," you greeted him with a hesitant smile. Your heart begins to race. 

"Good to see you, Y/N. How have you been?" he questions, his tone as gentle as ever. 

His question lingered in the air as you paused to clear your throat. "Fine, fine." You replied. "Still figuring things out, you know?". 

He gives you a reassuring nod at your response, "I can understand that." He says. 

You grab your drink and make your way back over to Aizawa. He takes a seat at your table, and you can't help but feel a bolt of excitement at his proximity. 

"So, how's teaching been going?" You question. 

He chuckles. "Busy as usual," he replies, sipping on his coffee. "But I can't complain. It's what I signed up for."

You nod and shoot him a smile. 

"What about you, Y/N? How's office life treating you?" He asks. 

You hesitate before answering his question. "It's.. okay." You answer. "It's not exactly what I pictured myself doing after graduation though."

Aizawa gives you an understanding nod. His expression is comforting. "I get that," he says. "I'm sure whatever you do will be great." He gives you a smile that makes your heart race.

As you continue your conversation, you take notice of his lingering touches and prolonged stares. You find yourself leaning in a little bit closer to him. The barriers that once separated the two of you from forming a connection have slowly melted away. The undeniable chemistry between you two is no secret. With each subtle glance and shared touch, tension grows between you two. 

As Aizawa leans in, he keeps his gaze focused on your lips. You feel a flutter of anticipation and a hint of nervousness. His presence, though familiar, carries a different weight now that you're no longer his student. You try to maintain your composure, but it's hard to ignore the rush of emotions swirling within you.

Meeting his gaze, you find yourself drawn into the depths of his eyes, searching for any hint of what he might be feeling. His expression is unreadable, yet there's a warmth in his gaze that sends a shiver down your spine.

And then, without another word, he leans into you. His lips brush up against yours with a gentle passion that takes your breath away.  The loud noises of the cafe that once surrounded you two have seemed to fade away.

His warmth washes over you as your lips linger a moment longer. You can taste the coffee on his lips. His embrace pulls you closer as if he's trying to bridge the gap between your souls.

As the intense moment comes to an end, you catch your breath, your eyes meeting Aizawa's. His gaze softens on you as he reaches to brush stray hair out of your face.

"Y/N…, I wish I could've done that a lot sooner." He whispers.

A rush of warmth spreads through you at his words. "Me too" you admit. 

As you both remain in this moment, you are locked in each other's gaze. His touch brought your past feelings back to light. You felt at home with him.

[rennybu]

finished veilguard finally 💆 if you have a pc with parts from 2017 and no ssd, know you did not struggle through the load errors and preset character bugs alone

some thoughts for closure (mostly negative from a place of love)

Despite the preceding 3 games all looking, sounding, and feeling different gameplay-wise, as someone who picked up the series in 2016 and played them back to back, i felt like they all shared the same scope and the same enjoyment of the setting and had stories that engaged with that setting in a way that was eager to keep exploring it. All 3 games had hook moments for me, either in a major plot development or a presentation gimmick that made me want to continue and made my character feel unique to my player experience. Veilguard never hooked me and broke my immersion constantly. I kept feeling like the script was reluctant or embarrassed to be taking place in The Dragon Age Setting. Which sucks because I like it there and want to play in it. It felt stripped down and very removed from the world of the last 3 games. And I mean. like everyone, I’ve been following the development hell, reading dev responses, the ama, looking at the scrapped joplin art concepts. I can see the shape of what it might have been but it’s too big a gap for me to want to play in and do any headcanon fic-writing work on my own. I had a few ideas early on but the game overall left me feeling burnt out on trying to… bridge the gap on my lack of immersion. My enjoyment shouldn’t have to hinge solely on headcanons. For the previous games, the foundations were strong enough that headcanons were an extra sauce on top of what we were given. I really didn’t feel like a mover in this story.

A lot of ppl have better articulated more precise complaints and I don’t have it in me to sit in deep contemplation and type up a full review 😭 everything I enjoyed about the game, there wasn’t enough of. It’s like I can see the rough idea of Rook being a foil to Solas, but I did not Feel It in the gameplay or the writing or the interactions and the options given to me to play. The regret prison was cool, but i wish it had the depth to consider Rook’s faction, their exile, their ever becoming Rook at all. I wish the team had had time to sit and invent more Thedas-specific, setting-informed gender terminology. I wish I wish I wish!

I think most of my enjoyment now is derived from seeing others’ ocs and designs within the setting. Wardens hawkes inquisitors rooks yay. I think I will need a very long break before I make any new fanart myself (impossible to say for sure) but I don’t like. Hate it now. And I love what the series has done for my past artistic improvement and inspiration/influence. The games are important to me and I’m just disappointed ahgkskgkd

Love dragon age. Going to stare at my screenshots folder for the entire series and not say another word

[e-vay]

My In-Depth Review of Sonic X Shadow Generations (Spoilers!)

I completed Sonic X Shadow Generations so I'm ready to talk about it! Remember, these are just my personal opinions about the game, so don't take this review as me saying that my opinion is "right." I'd hate to accidentally spoil the game for you, so all my thoughts are below the cut:

Did you mean to click "Keep Reading"? I warned you, there's gonna be spoilers here! One last chance to back out...

🖤

❤️

🖤

❤️

Okay here we go!

THE SHADOW PORTION

Let's start with what we've all been hyped about: the Shadow portion of Sonic X Shadow Generations. If you single out the Shadow story of this game, I think it is an absolute masterpiece! Everyone who worked on it gave it their all, and it clearly shows. I'd give it a 9.75/10.

THE GRAPHICS

The visuals of this game are STUNNING. These new models for Maria and Gerald Robotnik are perfection! I am so glad they went with the more 'cartoon' style for the human models, similar to what we saw in Sonic Unleashed. They feel like they belong in this world among these peculiar looking anthropomorphic animals, but they aren't so odd looking that they feel goofy. They found a perfect balance and I couldn't be happier with them. Speaking of character models, to see all the bosses throughout the years in this new high definition was a sight to behold! Though I do feel nostalgia for the lower-poly version of the Biolizard, it was great to see it as the creators originally envisioned. It went from this loveable (and admittedly silly-looking) salamander to a truly intimidating and disturbing looking beast. The animation is superb. The characters move so fluidly and the poses are dynamic and striking! The frame rate makes everything look and feel fast and smooth which is exactly what you'd hope for in a Sonic game. I also appreciated the variety of poses/animations even just for the different stage ranks. I found myself purposely replaying stages to get different ranks just so I could see the different animations Shadow had regarding his "performance" evaluation. That really adds to the replay value! I am a graphic designer for a living, so of course I have to gush about the design, too! The graphic elements that appear before, during, and after each stage are straight up BADASS! I love the 2D animated flame that appears along the stage name and the color scheme and sharp lines are so appropriate to Shadow, and are a very strong contrast to Sonic's graphic elements that are colorful and round in shape. These are small details that most people might not outright notice, but it really enhances the overall aesthetic of the game.

THE STORY

LOOOOORE! Sweet nectar of the gods, we were given so much more lore with this game! Even though the Shadow portion of this game was fairly short, they jam-packed a ton of information and I am forever thankful for it! If you didn't do so while playing, I highly recommend playing again and talking to the NPCs regularly for little nuggets of lore. I was initially worried that this was going to be a rehash of the same 'origin' story we've heard a dozen times already, but that was not the case! Instead of focusing entirely on the tragedy that happened on the ARK, we got to learn what life was like on the ARK while times were still good! Learning that Shadow didn't used to be confident at all, to the point where Maria basically doesn't recognize this confident version of him that we've all known him as. And that Shadow never did his homework??? HA! I loved the confirmation that yes, Maria WAS INDEED the person who gave Shadow his name, and the meaning behind it was EVERYTHING TO ME! (Also works so well for my my AU. IYKYK hehehe) Plus all the Robotnik family history?! MARIA HAD A LITTLE SISTER?!?! She'd be old now, if she's even alive, but will we ever meet her? Will Shadow ever meet her (and would he even want to, or does he feel like that chapter of his life is closed now)? What was she like, and how did Maria's death impact her and her parents??? I hope we'll find out some day! Plus getting to learn a little bit more about Gerald's sons was exciting too. Will more Robotnik family members make appearances down the line? What do they think of Eggman's misdeeds? I'm so curious for more! It was heartbreaking in the best way for Shadow to get to interact with Maria and Gerald again, especially knowing he can't do anything to change what will inevitably happen to them. His sense of desperation paired with the growing affects that Doom's powers were having on him really had me worried about what was going to happen to Shadow's state of mind and overall well-being. It was amazing to see the toll it was taking on his body and his mind. In particular, I'm thinking of the scene where Shadow goes to fight Sonic and you see him having to actually restrain himself and go easy on Sonic. I thought it a great scene to demonstrate how easy it would have been for Shadow to just give in to the rage and take Sonic out without hesitation, but his willpower was able to win in the end. I have heard some people saying they're disappointed that Shadow lost his Doom abilities by the end of the story, but I think it made complete sense for the story. Black Doom is insistent that Shadow isn't 'complete' yet and he has to be more like him in order to be 'perfect.' But that isn't true! Shadow is already the ultimate life form, especially because there's more to him than his Black Doom DNA. By rejecting Doom's influence in the end, that was Shadow's true evolution. He's perfect as he is. Obviously I could gush forever and ever about all the Shadow and Maria scenes, but words aren't going to do it justice. It was just so moving to see how different he is when he's with her. In fact, at the end of this game I believe this is the first instance we ever see a true, genuine, heartwarming smile from Shadow and it DEVASTATED ME! We are used to his smirks, but when he's trying to reassure Maria that everything's going to be okay, we get to see him truly smile and we aren't seeing Shadow the Ultimate Lifeform or Shadow the Destroyer/Weapon, we are seeing Shadow the Brother and it felt like the warm embrace of a security blanket. God bless the writing in this game.

THE ACTING

The acting in this game is incredible from a visual and auditory performance. The animators really pushed the acting of the character models and you can feel Shadow's transformations throughout the game and the toll it's taking on his body. The emotions are cranked up to the max and they didn't pull any punches. In the past, Shadow was often limited in his portrayal of emotions, but that wasn't the case in this game at all. We saw anger, we saw resentment, we saw panic and sadness, and affection. There was so much thought put into the shaking of his hands, the gritting of his teeth, the shrinking and dilating of his pupils, all to show what's going on in his head without even resorting to words. SO MUCH ATTENTION was put into how these characters moved and interacted with each other and it truly tugged at my heart strings. There were too many wonderful moments for me to break down, so I will just single out one for now and applaud the creative direction and the animators for these scenes as a whole. There's this moment right near the end of the story, when Shadow is trying to stop Gerald and Maria from disappearing for good. His gestures are wild and panicked, his pupils and irises are small due to fear, but then Maria simply frames his face and rests her forehead against his. It's subtle, but Shadow's eyes widen and then return to their regular size and everything from his stance to how his shoulders fall show what a calming presence Maria has and how she helped (and will continue to help) him find his inner piece. Those performances are going to stick with me forever! Mike Pollock as Gerald Robotnik was truly *chef's kiss* MP is such a fantastic actor with great range. Though his voice is easily recognizable, the manner in which he speaks as Gerald is so different compared to Eggman, that you couldn't mistake the two characters even just by listening. We have been so used to only hearing from the angry, driven-insane-by-grief Gerald that it was so refreshing to get to see and hear the calm, brilliant, caring genius that created The Ultimate Life Form. P.S. I'm going to be crying over hearing Gerald call Shadow "son" for the rest of my life, thank you very much. I don't care about the future crimes he commits, we got to witness Shadow's father in this game and I'm weeping. Kirk Thornton is not my favorite Shadow. That being said, he really gave it his all and I was pleasantly surprised by what he accomplished. One of the performances that surprised me the most was Mephiles! This is a credit to the writers as well as the voice actor. The sense of wild desperation in his voice as he fights to even 'exist' in this timeline was so visceral and terrifying. Sure the other villains had their "I'm the best, this world belongs to me" lines, but Mephiles' voice lines were on a completely different level to me. What a treat! Lastly, if you can, please replay the game in Japanese! Kōji Yusa's performance is STUNNING. Ooh I'm getting shivers just recalling his voice lines while you're playing through the stages. I don't mean to discredit the English voice actors, but I think this game is even better when listening in Japanese. Give it a try yourself!

THE MUSIC

This is a Sonic game we're talking about, of course the music is going to be fantastic! The score did not disappoint one bit. It was great to hear all the callbacks to songs in the past as well as new tracks that were catchy and enjoyable even after playing the stages several times. "All Hail Shadow" has always been one of my favorites, but the new instrumental version used for majority of this game was so haunting and eerie. It was a delight to my ears as well as my emotions.

THE BOSSES

I loved the chosen bosses for Shadow's story. It was great fun to revisit some of the more iconic baddies throughout Shadow's history, and even though some of the gameplay was the same, the battle would then shift and offer the player something new. However, it's actually the boss fights where I dock the game a few fractions of a point. The boss battles were far too easy to defeat, and I actually found them easier and easier as the game progressed. I beat Mephiles and Devil Doom so quickly that I didn't realize their fights were over already. One could argue this was intentional by design. After all, throughout the story Shadow is evolving more and more into the 'perfect' killing machine. It would make sense that the more Doom Abilities he acquires, the weaker these bosses would seem. Still, as a life-long gamer, I appreciate when I have to actually work to achieve the ending of a game. I would have liked more of a challenge.

OVERALL GAMEPLAY

Whether you're roaming about White Space or you're actually playing through stages, the Shadow portion of this game is an absolute blast. Even having played the Shadow the Hedgehog game (which I'm a fan of, btw), I feel like this game really gave you a better feeling of what it's like to be Shadow. I LOVED that I got to use Chaos Control way more than ever before in previous games. If you had the ability to stop time, wouldn't you take advantage of it every chance you could??? The opportunity to use Chaos (and Doom) Spear as frequently as you wanted and Chaos Control almost constantly really shows how formidable of a character Shadow is and just how different it is to play as him compared to playing as Sonic. I loved the 'free-roam' aspect of White Space compared to the 2D version in Sonic's story. Hunting for rocket parts or figuring out how to unlock collectibles was a lot of fun and let the player really explore these new Doom abilities to the fullest. I'll admit that I struggled with navigating some of the Doom abilities, but even so I still had a ton of fun. I already mentioned replay value, but before you even have to go about replaying the game, there is SO MUCH to this portion of the game! The amount of stages, challenges, collectibles within stages, FINDING the unlockables USING the collectibles you obtained from stages, even the mini challenges available AFTER you've completed the key challenges (I'm talking about the bell that's located above the challenge portal), all of it made for a ton of opportunities for play. I found myself wanting to take on every quest instead of begrudgingly going through it just because I'm a completionist.

My biggest gripe is that the game was too short. Am I greedy for wanting more? Probably, but I can't help it. The developers gave us a ton of content in the Shadow story, but I still would have loved to have a full length game of just this gameplay. I managed to complete the Shadow portion in a few hours, and that was even with me leisurely taking my time to get collectibles and get S ranks for stages before progressing through the story. I miss the days where games took much longer to complete. But hey, I'm a nostalgia-prone 33 year old, so I guess that's to be expected of me haha.

THE SONIC PORTION

Here is where Sonic X Shadow Generations loses more points for me, which is a shame because I think it's a great game overall. Admittedly, I was disappointed when I first learned that the Sonic portion of the game was just a remaster of Generations. I had really hoped we were going to receive something new to help elevate SXS Gens as an entirely new game, instead of just "Sonic Gens + Shadow DLC".

Don't get me wrong, the stages in Sonic Generations are fun to play. However, when you go from playing Shadow's story to Sonic's story, Sonic's side drastically pales in comparison in my opinion.

My other complaint is that for a remaster, they really didn't improve Sonic's portion of the game significantly (at least from what I can recall, as I haven't played the original Sonic Generations since it first came out in 2011). This was a missed opportunity to correct more of the drawbacks of the original game. However, I will admit there are some minor changes that were made that I was thankful for. Let's start with the positive before I point out some of the negatives.

THE STORY

As mentioned earlier, I acknowledge that Sonic Generations is just a remaster so it makes sense that the story didn't change much. That being said, there were some small changes that I did really appreciate and helped improve the story. One of the things that always bothered me about the original Sonic Generations was how indifferent/annoyed Sonic was regarding his friends. I mean, the story is about time being erased! His friends and home are literally getting removed from the fabric of time and Sonic seemed more inconvenienced than concerned. In more recent games, the writing has really focused on the value Sonic finds in his friendships and found family. He always has his signature cool, aloof attitude, but I think the writers in recent years have successfully showed just how much he cares about his group, whether the games were serious (Sonic Frontiers) or silly (The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog). The story wasn't drastically changed for Sonic X Shadow Generations, but some altered dialogue and blink-and-you-miss-it edits helped to cut that jackass attitude from the original and gave him more realistic reactions. Especially by having him respond when he rescues everybody this time! It never seemed right when Tails was first rescued and he's trauma dumping on Sonic about how awful the experience was and Sonic just sits there in silence haha. At least in the new version, Sonic reassures Tails that he's safe now. Also, huge kudos to whoever decided to alter that scene where Sonic is shoving Amy away by the face. I always hated that. Ship or not, you don't treat your friends like that when they're throwing you a bday party!

This is me getting nitpicky, but there were a few things I had really hoped they were going to improve, but remained untouched:

THE GRAPHICS

I was never happy with the visuals of this game outside of the stages (the visuals within the stages are great!). The colors are extremely oversaturated and the characters are way too intense and some are even off model (ex: Amy is so blindingly vivid magenta in this game instead of her signature blush pink. What the heck?!). What's worse, the cutscenes during the birthday party scenes are SO GREEN. The light bounces off the neon green landscape and reflects onto the already oversaturated characters, giving them an unappealing green glow. I get that the Sonic world is not realistic, but it felt like the scenery in these cutscenes made it look like we were watching a bunch of toys interacting on a playset instead of characters living in their world. Sure the visuals during the levels are great, but it's a real disappointment when I'm specifically not looking forward to the cutscenes in a game. I wish they would have tweaked that.

THE ANIMATION/GAMEPLAY

I have zero complaints when it comes to Act 1 (the "Classic" version) of the different stages. These look great, play great, and if you've played classic Sonic games then you can appreciate how identical the map of the level is compared to the originals. The issue for me lies in Act 2, aka Modern Sonic's gameplay. For the most part these levels are good, but there were a couple of small things that always bothered me that I was sincerely hoping they'd fix (and they did not). There are portions of Modern Sonic's gameplay that is SO. SLOW. I'm referring to when you are jumping from one Grind Rail to another, or when you are sliding under an obstacle. These animations are so bizarrely slow and make absolutely no sense when your character is running blindingly fast. I don't understand why they didn't use this opportunity to fix those animations. When you're playing the Shadow side of the story, his animations are constantly fast moving and appropriately paced. Why wouldn't they apply these physics to the Sonic side?

As a whole, the Sonic portion of Sonic X Shadow Generations is still a fun game, but I think it could have used a little more attention to help it feel more balanced compared to the Shadow portion.

-

This game also has some notably fun DLC and the promise of more DLC in the future! I have my Sonic side of the story set to the Sonic Adventure Legacy skin and Sonic Jam Legacy skin and they are so CUTE! They win all the nostalgia points! I'll be honest with you, I have never been a fan of Terios' design hahaha. BUT! I love that they made a Terios skin for this game so players have the chance to play as him if you choose and we get to see how he was intended outside of the initial sketches we've all seen. (Still, y'all can keep your Terios skin. I won't touch it LOL!). And I am OVER THE MOON ECSTATIC for the upcoming Movie Shadow addition to the game! I still can't believe they got Keanu Reeves to voice lines for it! I'm sure it will be a small thing, but I am on the edge of my seat to see what that will be like.

-

Overall, I'm super happy with the game as a whole and I enjoyed every minute I played of it!

If you read all of this, thank you for reading! Again, my opinion isn't fact and if you disagree with what I had to say, that's totally fair. And if you haven't played the game yourself, please go play it and see what you think for yourself!

[kydrogendragon]

Five times Dream failed at being a normal human around Hob and the one time Hob learned why (by Fall Out Boy)

Relationship: Dream/Hob Rating: Teen Words: 5641 Warnings: None Ao3 Link

For square A2 of the Dreamling Bingo. Masterlist can be found here.

1

Upon entering the cafe, Dream is met with two realizations. One, this place is, by far, the coziest place with reviews that promise excellent coffee in walking distance of his flat. The second, that Dream is never going to set foot in this building again due to the sheer beauty of the man behind the counter.

The man moves with well-worn grace, pulling shots of espresso and chatting with customers with ease. His longer chestnut hair is pulled up into a quintessential messy bun, a few strands stick out and frame his face from where they escaped confinement. Then, there is his smile, rich and wide, with lines and crows-feet at his eyes that give away how often he uses it. And when his honey eyes swipe across Dream, he can feel his heart stop in his chest.

His body moves on autopilot, queuing up in the ever-growing line as it would be socially unacceptable to leave as soon as one entered, after all. He has at least a handful of people in front of him. It gives him time to gradually coax his brain back into something functional rather than something that only revolves around rapidly growing fantasies of the man whose name he does not even know.

He watches, enraptured, as hands and arms, dusted with lovely dark hair, reaches into the case of pastries and plucks a delicate, golden-brown croissant from the shelf. There is strength in his build, yet tenderness in his touch. This does nothing but fuel images of how this man’s hands might feel upon his own skin instead. How he might wrap Dream tight in his arms, yet cradle his face with the delicacy of a freshly baked pastry.

“—can I get you?”

Dream blinks. He is standing in front of the counter and the man that now occupies every fantasy in his mind stares down at him with a friendly smile. There is a shadow of hair upon his jaw and chin and Dream wonders how it might feel brushed against the side of his face. He takes a breath. Dream was supposed to have more time to pull himself together. He swears there were more people ahead of him, when did they all leave?

He doesn’t even know what he wants. He has been spending far too long gazing at the man, who is even more enticing up close. The soft, golden lighting in the cafe reflects in the depths of his eyes and Dream feels himself falling into the pools of earth and warmth inside of them.

Then the man raises his brows in question and his smile falters. And Dream realizes he has yet to speak and this is where he is supposed to order something rather than gawk at the man like some infatuated teen.

“Black coffee,” he says.

Why the fuck did he say black coffee?

“Sure thing! What size for you?” The smile returns as his hand hovers over the stacks of paper cups of alternating sizes. Dream’s eyes are drawn to the movement like a moth to fire. Not an unfitting metaphor given how he feels he is close to burning up in the man’s presence.

“Medium.”

That is better than him saying large, at least.

“Perfect! I’ll get that right out for you. That’ll be two pounds even.” The man says, fingers lifting a cup off of the stack. His voice is, perhaps, even more charming than the rest of him. It sings, happiness in each note. And perhaps it is simply that the man is excellent at customer service, but Dream likes to believe that it is also just how the man is.

He blinks and fishes through his pockets for the cash to hand over to the man. He sets the coins in his outstretched palms and fails spectacularly at not cataloging how the pads of this man’s fingers feels against his palm.

“Name?”

“Pardon?”

“Name for the order? There’s a few black coffees so far,” the man says with another easy smile.

Again. Why did he order a black coffee? He hates black coffee.

“Dream,” he says and his heart flutters as the man smiles so wide his eyes crinkle.

“Dream,” his voice says, honey sweet. And now Dream knows how his name sounds on the man’s lips. “I like it. Well Dream, should be just a tick and it’ll be ready down at the end!”

Dream nods and slowly makes his way towards the back wall near the end of the counter and takes a breath for the first time since the encounter. His hands shake, even with their placement in the pockets of his trousers. He has, he thinks, not completely ruined that transaction. Not with the way the man smiled at him. He’d even…even said he liked Dream’s name. The only thing that would make it better is if he’d been cognizant enough to catch the man’s name.

Dream plays back the interaction in his mind when he’s dragged out of his thoughts by the sound of his name upon the man’s lips once more. He looks up and sees the man smile as he sets down his drink onto the counter before flitting back towards the nearly empty queue.

He smiles, grabs his drink and takes a sip.

And immediately spits it back into the cup. Why. Why did he order black coffee? Why couldn’t his brain panic and say literally any other drink?

Dream looks up and sees the man looking at him with concern in his eyes.

His blood runs cold as he stares back, wide eyed. Surely the man must hate him now. He’d wasted a perfectly good drink, insulted it even, and insulted him.

Dream rushes out, drink abandoned on the counter.

He can never come back here again.

~~***~~

2

It’s two weeks later before Dream dares to venture back to the White Horse Cafe again. Two weeks too soon, he thinks, as he steps through the doors. This time, for better or worse, there isn’t a line. There are a few patrons scattered in the mismatched, but charming seating. Most with either a book in hand from their own collection or freshly bought from the adjoining book store, or tapping away at laptops or tablets alike.

Dream takes a steady breath in before stepping up to the counter. The man’s back is to him at the moment, arms moving in gentle motions as he works on another’s drink. He takes this time to both mentally prepare himself to order something that’s not black coffee as well as to take in the sight of the man’s form. His clothes are dark this time around. A simple black tee is all that covers his upper body with sleeves loose over his biceps.

His breath hitches as he notices a grouping of small, black lines peaking out from both the collar of the man’s shirt as well as out of the sleeve of his left arm. The man is inked as well. It truly is as if he was plucked straight from Dream’s deepest fantasies. The universe is cruel.

Honey brown eyes meet his and part of Dream prays that he does not recognize him. But of course, he does.

“Hey, good to see you again! Decided to give us another shot?” the man calls to him with a smile. He places a lid on the cup he’d been working on and sets it on the counter before meeting Dream at the register.

“I—” He was unprepared for such a question. He’d prepared himself for what he would drink or what he may eat, yet somehow he hadn’t prepared himself for the man joking around with him. He’d thought he would have been viewed with bare minimum politeness, not…this. “No.”

No?

The man cocks his head. “No?”

“No! I mean—” Dream panics. Nothing good comes from him panicking and yet…“—Yes, just not with regular coffee.”

“Mm, that bad?” There is still a smile on his face. That is a good sign.

“Yes.”

Yes!?

“Ouch, brutal honestly. Refreshing, though. Most people just suffer through it if they don’t like it then tell me it was great. Doesn’t help me out much, though. What didn’t you like about it?” the man laughs. Dream’s eyes dart down away from the cheery gaze that’s aimed at him. Then he spots the mysterious nametag he’d missed the first time.

Hob.

The man’s name is Hob. It is a name he has not heard before, though he is not one to judge. Suddenly, he now has a name to the face that has featured in 65% of his waking thoughts and 90% of his dreaming ones. This is both a curse as well as a blessing.

“Hob,” he whispers. Which only draws the man’s attention to him. And then he panics, yet again. “Black coffee is an excellent choice to establish a baseline of quality for a business. It is hard to achieve a truly exceptional one.”

“And ours definitely didn’t meet your standards, I take it?”

“No.”

Why does he keep talking? It is not as if he is an expert in coffee. He comes more for the rush of sugar rather than caffeine. Now Hob is surely going to think he is some sort of coffee snob like his sister. Why does he do this to himself.

The man taps his fingers on the counter top in thought. “Well, any suggestions on how to improve it? Maybe a better coffee bean distributor or roastery? Or maybe you’ve some good tips on the preparation—”

“There is nothing you could do that would end in a cup of black coffee I would enjoy.” He should never speak again. While he wasn’t incorrect, it is for no fault of Hob’s nor any roastery or individual coffee bean. He is tempted to race out of the building right this instant, especially as the easy smile falls completely from Hob’s face. He has ruined this. He had come back, intending to fix things and he ruined it.

“Right,” Dream tries not to die on the spot at how the cheerful tone in Hob’s voice vanishes. “Well, anything that’s not coffee that I can offer you?”

Dream swallows against the lump in his throat. “A small vanilla latte.”

Hob nods. “Coming right up.”

Dream is never coming back here again.

~~***~~

3

Dream is back at the White Horse Cafe, though not by his own will this time. His sister insisted upon catching up—something he is not disinclined to—but she picked the location this time and chose here, due to it’s proximity to his own flat. Kind of her, in theory, though disastrous in truth. Dream could have, theoretically, asked that they meet elsewhere, but he knows his sister. Telute would not have dropped the subject as to why Dream didn’t want to meet there and then he’d be forced to explain the disaster that is his interactions with Hob. And there is no way that he is doing that. So he steps into the cafe and hopes that his sister is already there.

The cafe is empty of her presence and Dream can feel his shoulders tense. Slowly, he turns his eyes towards the counter and sighs out in relief at the lack of the handsome man. Instead, a woman with short curly hair stands in his place. Dream approaches the counter and manages to order his usual large (not small) caramel (not vanilla) latte from the woman he now knows as Peggy. The drink doesn’t take long and he grabs it from the counter once it’s ready and finds a seat, tucked back into the corner, away from the crowd and view of the register.

He waits, sipping at his drink as he stares at the screen of his phone, waiting for his sister’s arrival. Then, a few minutes later, her face appears beside a text.

Dream, so sry, work got craaazy! Raincheck? <3 — T

He sighs and rests his head against the top of his phone. He has risked yet another terrible incident (far too soon for Hob to forget Dream’s existence, at that) and for nothing.

Dream looks down at his bag and considers, given that his drink is still full and the place is currently Hob-less, that it would, perhaps, be safe to stay here for a time and work. That had been his initial plan when he’d first come here, after all. The atmosphere of a cafe, especially a quaint and quiet one such as this, is unbeatable for his productivity. Words fly from him with ease that he struggles to achieve in many other places. And, as he looks around, there is even an outlet beside this table. Such a perfect opportunity may never present itself again.

So, Dream retrieves his laptop and charger from his bag, plugs himself in, and opens his word document and the words fly.

He’s pulled forth from the world spawned to life with fingers and keyboard by the sound of a mug on his table and a shadow falling across his face. Dream looks up and freezes when he sees familiar chestnut hair and warm eyes.

Hob stands beside him, hands now resting in the back pockets of the denim he wears. His hair is set free, the longer locks falling in front of his face as he smiles. Saliva pools in his mouth (he’ll blame it on the smell of pastries later). Looking up at him at this angle was one he was wholly unprepared for. He has imagined such angles before, though in manners he is certain Hob would ban him from the premise for mentioning aloud. He hates that he knows this knowledge will feature heavily in his imaginings tonight.

"Sorry for interrupting,“ Hob says, nodding towards the newly made drink. ”Just wanted to say I was glad you gave us another shot. And to give you a refill, on the house, as a thanks. I know we're still new so if there's anything you think needs changing, let me know!"

Dream’s gaze finds it cannot move from the sight of Hob standing over him. The way the light shines behind him, casting a near halo around his head. He is bathed in the now late afternoon glow that shines in from the front windows. He is truly beautiful here. The fact that Hob works here is more than enough (if only Dream was capable of being normal then he would be a regular here), so there is very little he could imagine changing.

Though…

The thought of Hob changing, specifically how he would shed his shirt, tacky with sweat built up by working in the heat and steam of pastries and coffee, is one Dream has no problem imagining. How his hair would look splayed out on the dark sheets of Dream’s bed, how his stomach would flex under his hands. How Hob would beg for more as Dream slowly eases his jeans down further and further. Yes…the only things Dream wishes to change is—

“You.”

Fuck.

Hob’s jaw tenses and Dream can watch in real time as his face closes. This smile, this new smile, is one he has witnessed on many underworked retail workers. It is impersonal, disingenuous, and as Desire often describes, dead inside. And Dream has placed it there with his inability to be a functional human.

He is a disgrace.

Dream watches, frozen in place, as Hob simply nods and walks off without another word. If he had not ruined things before, he most certainly has now. No longer would there be a chance to fix things. No longer would he be welcome in these walls. Hob surely thinks Dream hates him. If only he knew…

He slowly turns back towards his laptop. He saves his document, turns it off, and packs his bag. He gives a look back to the offering Hob had given him. It is still warm in the ceramic mug, and wafts with scents of caramel and cinnamon and topped with a dollop of whipped cream. It looks heavenly. Dream’s stomach churns.

He slings his bag over his shoulder and leaves, vowing that this time, he will never return.

~~***~~

4

Dream is beginning to think the universe is out to spite him personally as he stands in line at the White Horse Cafe yet again.

This was, once again, not by his own choice. Rather, Lucienne had insisted upon grabbing a drink during their lunch break and claimed she knew of a lovely spot a few blocks down. By the time they turned on this street, Dream knew where she was taking them, but it was too late to suggest anything else. He spent the few sparse minutes he had left before the walked through the doors to prepare himself.

He determined—given that any other reaction would result in him needing to explain the issue to Lucienne which, like his sister, was unacceptable—that he would simply ignore Hob to the best of his abilities. It was hard, not following the man as he worked with efficiency behind the counter alongside Peggy, but he willed himself to focus on what Lucienne was saying to him instead.

He felt proud for catching 75% of what she said.

But now, they stand just two people away in the queue from the register and Hob has been primarily handling transactions thus far. This means Dream will have to speak with him. And order. And not mess things up yet again. All the while, not cluing Lucienne into his constant internal debate he’s had going since about two blocks down from here.

“—should expect to have a new shipment in by tomorrow. Perhaps you wouldn’t mind dropping by and signing a few copies on the shelves?” Dream blinks away from where his eyes were latched onto the pastry case and definitely not Hob’s backside.

“Mm.”

“You’ve been quieter than you usually are. Are you alright?”

Dream sighs and turns towards his friend. “I am fine, Lucienne. I am simply…tired.”

She gives him a soft smile as she looks up at the sprawling drink board. “Well, caffeine will do you some good, then. What are you getting? My treat as a congratulations for signing that contract.” As much as he does not wish for her to spend her money on him, Dream is glad that this means he will not need to order the drink himself.

“A large caramel latte.” He turns his gaze towards the floor. “Please,” he tacks on to the end.

It does not take them long to reach the front. Hob is there; he hears his voice directed toward Lucienne. Dream purposefully stands off to the side of her and clenches his teeth lest his mouth betray him for a fourth time in front of this man. It is a unique form of torture, forced to listen to the sound of Hob’s voice and knowing he is not allowed to see him. If Hob sees him, if Dream meets his eyes, then he will be forced to see the hatred that surely lies inside. And he cannot handle that. It is bad enough he is here in the cafe, thankfully he has Lucienne as a buffer, but the next time she asks if he wishes for a coffee, he will have to ensure this is not a repeated destination.

The order is complete and Hob directs them towards the counter as usual, though Lucienne steers them towards a table first and Dream’s heart sinks. He should have known they would stay here to drink. Part of him is tempted to ask Lucienne if she would prefer a table outside, though she would see right through him. He has never been one for outdoor dining in any form.

It doesn’t take too long before their drinks are ready. Dream stays seated as Lucienne stands and fetches them. He wants to look up, to see where Hob is, if he’s ignoring Dream’s presence as well, but he knows he shouldn’t. It would only torment them both.

And yet.

Dream looks up from the table to see Hob cheerfully taking orders as if nothing is wrong. And there isn’t, he supposes. There is only something wrong with him. Then Hob looks over. And their eyes meet. And Dream’s breath stops and Hob holds his gaze for seconds longer than normal, but he does not smile. Hob breaks contact first, looking down before turning away.

Dream feels sick. He should not have come. He should have insisted that they meet elsewhere and save Hob the trouble that is Dream’s existence. But all that is left is to get through their time here and then he will leave Hob alone in peace. As he deserves.

~~***~~

5

His sister insists he is an idiot.

This is not news to Dream. He is well aware of his faults and failures as a functioning human, but he tries. And, after listening to her hour lecture followed by constant quips at his expense for the rest of the night, Telute successfully convinces Dream that, at the least, he should go and apologize to Hob so the poor man does not think he is hated for no reason. So, after having sworn he would not go back to the White Horse for the fourth time, he finds himself inside the White Horse yet again.

There is a decent queue already, which surprises him for how late in the evening it is. With a sigh, he lines up, mentally rehearsing the apology he would give Hob. He will explain…well, maybe not why he has been as rude as he has to the man (as that would entail explaining how Hob’s charm and attractiveness has removed any shred of normalcy and logic from Dream’s mind), but he would explain how poor he is with social functions in general. And that, while he does not expect Hob to forgive him, he hopes Hob will understand.

Peggy, he notes, is here again as well as another employee. This place is growing. Or, perhaps, this employee has always been here and this is simply the first time Dream has seen her. It is not as if Dream is a regular, after all. As much as he had initially planned on being such.

The queue moves quickly. Hob handles the register while the other two handle the drinks and food. It is efficient and, much to Dream’s dismay, makes the line move faster than he wishes. Before he knows it, he is standing in front of Hob for the fifth time.

Hob gives him a weak smile—not a standard service smile, nor the bright ones he had first received from the man, but rather something close to pained or tired—and speaks. “What can I get you?”

To which Dream eloquently replies with, “I—your coffee is decent.”

Hob’s lips quiver as the weak smile he’d worn threatens to grow. "Going to attempt a black coffee again? We've changed our distributor since then and lots of people said they like the stuff better.”

"No. The black was disgusting.” Hob's smile falls once more and Dream winces. This is not going as he had planned.

"Right. No black. Your usual then?”

"I…yes…Yes, just the usual.” Dream digs for his card as Hob rings him up. The words he wants to say feel trapped behind his teeth, all mixed up and wrong. He clamps them down tight, afraid of what terrible concoction would be released if he dared speak. All that waiting and rehearsing, nothing but a waste. He cannot even apologize correctly. He should have never listened to his sister. He should have stayed far away from Hob and the White Horse. He does nothing but cause hurt.

When Hob hands him back his card, rather than a polite “thanks” his brain decides to say, “You are not disgusting,” and he proceeds to die inside.

Thankfully, Hob looks more confused instead of being offended further. “...thanks? I think. Um…your order should be ready at the end of the bar here shortly.”

So, Dream goes. He waits diligently for his order. He watches Hob smile and chat with the other customers in line and lets himself pretend that is him that Hob talks to. He watches, and catalogs, and when his drink is ready, he leaves with a final glance behind him at the White Horse.

And then is immediately greeted by the heavens opening up the moment he steps outside the door.

Thunder rolls in the dark clouds up above. Rain slams into the pavement and the chill in the air slices him to the bone. Had this been literally anywhere else, Dream would go back inside and wait the storm out. But he knows he cannot. He should not. So instead, he sits at one of the tables sheltered away from the rain by the canopy above him and sighs. At least his drink is warm.

~~***~~

+1

Hob wipes his hands off on a paper towel and tosses it into the trash. Sweat still gleams on his forehead and his legs ache from standing so long, but he’s glad to finally be off for the day. As much as he enjoys owning this place, it can get really fucking tiring.

He sighs as he exits the employee bathroom and nods towards Peggy and Jo who are currently manning the cafe. He’s grateful that Jo agreed to help part-time. Lately, they’ve been getting busier and busier and as much as Hob loves the extra business, it was getting to the point that he and Peggy couldn’t keep up. Eventually, he predicts, he’ll need to hire someone else full-time. Maybe a designated baker. He’d do it himself, but he loves chatting with the customers too much to give that up. Well, save a few. And save a very specific man who he’d unfortunately seen again today.

Dream.

Hob has no idea what he did to anger the man so much, but the contempt he’s got for Hob is plain to see. Christ, and that glare of his. Downright bone-chilling at times. And he doesn’t treat Peggy that way, either. He’d asked. When Hob had seen him in the line, he was tempted to swap out with Peggy for a bit just so he wouldn’t have to deal with whatever insult the man would spit back at him. But today wasn’t an insult…he didn’t think. He was, apparently, “not disgusting.” Which, maybe for Dream, is a compliment.

With a sigh, Hob steps out and is greeted by both a massive downpour of rain as well as the man that’s been haunting his working life for the past four months. There Dream sits, back turned to the cafe, with his hands curled around his coffee like a life-preserver of warmth in this chilly weather. He’s shaking, even. Christ, the man ordered almost an hour ago. Has he really been here the whole time? Why the hell didn’t he come inside?

He moves before his brain can think and sits himself in the chair across from Dream. He folds his hands atop the table and stares at him. Clearly Dream didn’t hear the door open over the thunder and the rain as his eyes are wide as they stare back. Fuck, he looks cold. There’s barely a hint of red in his face. Was being even in the same building as Hob so terrible?

"Did I do something to you?“ he asks, brows furrowed. ”You keep coming back so clearly it's not the place or the coffee that you hate, it's just me, so…" Hob bites his lower lip and shakes his head as he trails off. He doubts the man would even give him an answer. Probably just huff and ignore him like he had last time he was in.

Instead, Dream flounders, opening and shutting his mouth like a fish out of water. It’s so far from the stiff, almost regal air he always carried with him before that it takes Hob aback. Maybe the man’s brain was going from the chill.

He sighs as his face falls, hiding behind the drink in his hands. Hob has to strain to hear the quiet words over the sound of rain, but he does manage to catch, “It…is not you. I am…bad. With people.“ Hob blinks. “I am…sorry. For the—for everything.”

Suddenly, each past interaction flashes through Hob’s mind with haunting clarity as the missing piece of the puzzle slots into place. Christ, it’s obvious now. The man was clearly just shite at interacting with people. And knowing Hob and his overly personal manner of service, he’d probably made it ten times worse on accident. And then proceeded to worry over it, thinking it was something more personal than it was.

"Fuck,“ he says, his head collapsing into his hands. ”I'm sorry. I just…I've been trying to figure out what it was I did so I wouldn't annoy you in the future. Got so wound up in myself I didn't even think…and now I'm accosting you while you're just trying to enjoy your coffee. Christ, I'm sorry. I'll leave—"

"No!" Hob blinks in surprise. "I mean…I…" Hob raises a brow, but waits, trying to give time for Dream to speak. He gives the man a smile, hoping maybe it’ll ease any fears. Dream takes a breath before speaking again. "I would. Enjoy your company. If—if I have not made you hate me."

Hob chuckles and lets himself relax. "Not at all. Why don't we start over, huh?“ He holds out his hand and smiles. ”Nice to meet you. I'm Robert Gadling. Friends call me Hob."

Dream stares at his outreached hand, but Hob waits and is rewarded by Dream reaching out to shake it in return. “My name is Morpheus Endless. My friends call me Dream.”

“Nice to meet you, Dream.”

“It is nice to meet you as well, Hob.”

“What do you say we go back inside where it’s warm, yeah?”

Dream smiles—actually smiles—and then stands. “I would like that.”

~~***~~

+2

A year later

“Here you go, dove,” Hob says, setting his boyfriend’s favorite mug—black with rainbow speckles like stars—beside his computer, next to the half-eaten pain au chocolate. He’s since perfected the recipe after Dream had, lovingly, critiqued that the croissant suffered from not raising as much as others due to it’s fillings. Now, it’s equally as fluffy (and buttery) and filled with perfectly melted chocolate. They’re his favorites and he’s been told a few times since that they’re the best ones in the neighborhood by other customers. He may or may not have added the croissant and caramel latte to the menu as a “Dream Special” as well, in Dream’s honor. Dream pretends he hates it, but Hob has learned to read his expressions by now.

“Thank you,” Dream says, leaning up for a kiss which Hob indulges him in. It’s rather strange to think that over a year ago, Hob thought Dream had hated him, though he’s since learned that it wasn’t simply Dream’s anxiety with strangers that caused him to be as brusque as he was. No, Hob learned the truth behind their early interactions.

Apparently, and much to Hob’s chagrin, Dream had been too busy drooling over Hob to form any sort of polite response. It was a fact he lorded over his poor boyfriend for a good few weeks after, but he feels he earned it. After all, Dream made him question their interactions for days after each one. He’d earned a bit of retribution.

Now, it’s just a thought that makes him smile every time he catches Dream’s intense gaze on him as he works. And if he wears a bit tighter shirts on warm days, or makes sure to flex his muscles when he knows Dream’s watching, well, it doesn’t hurt anyone, right? And if he enjoys knowing that his boyfriend used to jack off to the idea of kneeling before Hob when he’d brought over that free refill all those months ago because he learned what Hob looked like from that angle, well…okay. Hob’s just a man. He might tease him about that a bit more than Dream really deserves, but it’s incredibly flattering, okay? Can you really blame him?

“How’s the next book going?” Hob asks, peering down (and maybe purposefully pressing his chest against Dream’s ear) at the laptop. Dream’s finger’s twitch above the keys. He hears his lover takes a deep breath and Hob can’t help but smile.

“It…is going well. I am nearly finished with the first round of edits.”

“That’s incredible, love. So proud of you.” Dream hums and leans against Hob. His eyes flutter close and Hob wonders how he manged to get so lucky as to keep this ridiculous creature.

“Does this mean,” Dream says, tilting his head up to peer into Hob’s eyes. “That I have earned a reward?”

Hob smirks. “What kind of reward were you thinking?”

Dream’s eyes narrow in that predatory fashion that gets Hob’s blood racing. “Perhaps…dinner. At the Italian place we like. And then…dessert at home?”

“Mmm, sure you don’t want dessert first?” Hob teases. He watches as Dream’s eyes darken and he thinks to himself that it’s a bloody good thing that he owns the place and can cart Dream away into the storage closet with him because he’s not sure if he’ll make it through his shift.

“Perhaps we can be indulgent and have dessert twice?” He feels Dream’s hand reach up the back of his thigh and squeezes the globe of his arse. Christ, he’s definitely going to need that storage closet.

“For you love? Anything.”

[rangosmango7]

The Cadence of Part-time Poets by @motswolo

Can I just say I don’t think I’ll ever read anything better and I might have to give up fanfiction as a whole; Harry Potter/Marauders fanfiction, anyway, because I dont think I’ve ever read anything so gorgeous— it might be better than The Perks of Being a Wallflower; my favorite book that I’ve only ever read once out of fear that reading it again will push me off a ledge I couldn’t ever come back from.

I will reread The Cadence of Part-time Poets, because I don’t really care about the ledge I’ll get pushed off of— that’s how fucking brilliant it is.

Glorious.

Dramatic review? Maybe. But I’ve found that several people online have stated they stalled on reading the last two chapters because they didn’t want to finish reading it. I’ve never been one to keep myself from reading the ending of any story, especially one I love so much.

That being said, I’m on the last chapter before the epilogue, and I can’t bring myself to start it yet. Not until I stop crying about Remus Lupin and I don’t have work the next day.

I’ll update with an in-depth review (spoilers included) once I finish it, if I can ever bring myself to try to put everything I feel about this work into words.

Before reading, let me give you some advice if you’re like me and (understandably) hesitate before reading a near million-word fanfiction

1. Don’t read it until you’re ready to

It’s a monster. I put off reading it for a year or two and the timing never felt right until now. I couldn’t be more happy that I waited until it was right (it also took me an entire week and a half, which is long for me.

2. Don’t stress over not liking the OCs, because you will— Jesus F. Chopin, I promise you will love the OCs in this fic like nothing else.

Every lovely thing everyone said about Tomny and Tonya? True and wonderful and GLORIOUS I love them so much.

3. It isn’t going to be exactly what you expect it to be—

It’s going to be so much more.

@motswolo , thank you for this. I’m sure you get this all the time, but The Cadence of Part-time Poets touched my soul like nothing else. It made me smile and cry and it made me angry and lovesick and heartbroken and it made me feel understood.

I deal with bi-polar depression, and the way your Remus Lupin thinks makes me feel like I’m reading my own internal monologue. It has me crying and laughing and loving with him.

It revived my love for rock and roll, and Mary Macdonald understood my love for ABBA; Sirius Black, “Bohemian Rhapsody”. You understand my love of music.

I will update this post once I finish these last couple of chapters. For now, I leave you with this screenshot of the comments section that made me laugh.

(disclaimer, neither of the replies are true, but some may still consider this a spoiler, so tread lightly)

motswolo, you charmer, I think I’m half in love with you.

[barry-j-blupjeans]

Carey didn't really like going into the Director's office. Like, yeah, sure, she'd have to come on by every once and a while if Lucretia wanted to talk to her or just some of the Regulators in general. But being in an office wasn't exactly Carey's preferred "let's have a conversation zone". Sadly, this was a conversation she would prefer to have as soon as possible, so waiting to catch the Director outside her office was a no-go.

Carey rapped on the door, and then let herself in before the Director could answer. The office had grown more cluttered since Candlenights. Maybe it was the quick pace they were making with collecting the Relics, but the Director often seemed much more weary than she used to. There were times when she truly looked her age. Carey didn't know much about how humans aged— though she was learning! She was learning.— but every time she looked, the Director seemed to have aged a few more years.

There was a stack of papers stacked on her desk in a messy pile. The Director had three out in front of her— Carey could recognize Magnus's chicken scratch. She seemed to be reviewing the mission reports from the last relic collection. The Temporal Chalice and whatnot. At the very least, that might make this conversation a little easier.

The Director looked up at her. Had she ever told them how old she was? She looked worn and on edge, but she put on her professional face as Carey shut the door, the face she rarely let anyone see her without. Carey knew when someone was wearing a mask all too well.

"Carey," she said, moving the reports aside. "What can I do for you?"

Okay. Okay. She could do this. Just had to say words! In a good order. Yeah.

"Well, uh," Carey said, sitting herself down in one of the chairs across from the Director's desk. "I just had a question, 'Creesh."

The Director let out a little annoyed sigh. She rubbed the bridge of her nose.

"Please don't call me that," she said.

"Just keepin' you on your toes," Carey said. She swung her tail back and forth to give herself something to do. "No, but, for real. I did have a question."

The Director waved her hand in a "go ahead" motion. Carey cleared her throat.

"Is there anything… other than the Voidfish that can, like, static up someone's memories?"

The Director blinked. She sat up a little.

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Well," Carey said. How in-depth did she want to go with this? She picked around in her mind for a starting point. Her gaze lingered on the mission reports and Magnus's shitty handwriting a moment longer. "Y'know the— the whole thing that the Chalice did where it, uh… rooted through the boys' memories a bit?"

The Director kept her face perfectly neutral. Not a crack.

"I'm aware," she said, glancing down at the reports as well.

"I don't know how, uhm, in-depth they got with you on those reports," Carey said, even though she did know exactly how in-depth Magnus had gone with his (which is to say: barely anything. The deep and understandable distrust of authority figures hadn't changed in Refuge.). "But I was talkin' to Magnus and, uh. We were just wondering. 'Cus there was an entire… bit. With a buncha static, apparently? Like, a real long bit. And I know static is kinda the Voidfish's thing, but he's inoculated obviously, so—?"

She left the question open-ended, watching the Director's face. As expected, there wasn't a shift in expression. There was open concern there, a little bit of curiosity. But from what Carey could tell, the Director seemed to be telling the truth when she said,

"As far as I'm aware of, nothing else has powers remotely like the Voidfish." She paused, tilting her head. "It may be a memory spell, or mayhaps a curse? But Magnus should— he should not be receiving any memory-impacting side effects of the Voidfish since he has been inoculated with the ichor."

"Killian was thinkin' curse," Carey admitted, swinging her legs. "But then it's just like— why, y'know? Like whatever he can't remember isn't doing anything other than— than— ughhhh." Carey dragged her hand down her face. "Director, can you keep a secret?"

"Carey," the Director said, with a touch of humor. "Think of who you're asking."

"Fair enough," Carey relented. "It's just— it's not my secret to tell, but also you are like, one of the only people I could think of of knowing what the hell might be going on. But it's— well, y'know how Magnus grew up in Raven's Roost?"

"I'm well aware," the Director said. "As he keeps mentioning it every other conversation we have."

"Yeah," Carey said. "He does that. But he— I mean, again, he grew up in Raven's Roost. Like, that's his entire thing. But, uhm. He told me that sometimes in like, the last few years he lived there, things seemed… off?"

"How do you mean?"

Carey groaned, trying to think.

"Like— his mom ran a flower shop? But no one ever heard of it before. No— no one seemed to know his mom. And I can tell it upset him, but he doesn't like to talk about it, y'know? It's hard— it's hard to kinda chip away at his brain when he doesn't really trust his brain in the first place."

And there it was. For the first time since Carey entered the room, a small crack appeared in the Director's perfect mask. It was a small thing— she clenched her jaw and drew back on herself slightly, barely enough to be noticeable. And the look in her eyes changed from professional interest to completely and utter devastation and back to professional interest once more. She locked herself back up even faster than Magnus did. That being said, Carey wasn't as close with the Director as she was with Magnus.

She knew Magnus's tells. The way he held himself, the tiniest change in his expressions, the pitch of his voice. But it was hard to see past the brick wall that was the Director's facade. All she got were these little glances, the restless note in her speech, the state of her office.

Magnus held secrets he didn't know about. Carey knew that. The Director looked like she held all her secrets and the weight of the world as well. In some way, she did.

Carey didn't know if she'd be able to have the courage to do what the Director did. She was beginning to become uncertain if that was a good or a bad thing.

"Magnus should not be receiving any memory-impacting side effects of the Voidfish," the Director repeated, voice steady, body still. Carey's tail thrashed a bit. Then, with a touch of sincerity and a weird twist of what Carey could only identify as yearning, she added, "but I genuinely hope you can find something that will ease Magnus's mind."

"Yeah," Carey said, watching as the Director straightened the reports out, then pick up a pen. "Me too."

[sirfrogsworth]

Someone was having trouble getting decent sound in his living room and instead of recommending a room treatment or better speakers this person just casually suggests PUTTING AN ADDITION ONTO THE HOUSE.

Trying to get advice on audio forums is often a challenge because a lot of these dudes just have *so much* disposable income. And they just assume everyone else is wealthy too. You can even tell them you have a budget and they'll be like, "You should save up longer and buy this thing that is three times your budget."

And it's not like there aren't wonderful options that are more affordable. I think I may have about $3000 worth of home theater equipment that I have collected over the last 20 years. They will spend that on a single speaker and suggest you do the same.

The people in these forums would have a fit if they knew I had a single subwoofer. Apparently, the cardinal audio sin is having only ONE subwoofer.

Your room could have NULLS!

NULLLLLLS!!!

Seriously, they will lecture you anytime you mention having a single subwoofer. "Your seat-to-seat response is going to be inconsistent!"

I also saw a guy say that a 15" subwoofer was "tiny" and "pointless."

My 70-pound, 12" subwoofer is currently vibrating items off the shelf in my house ever since I moved it upstairs and don't have concrete floors like in the basement. I'm going to have to buy special subwoofer feet to decouple it from the floor. I can't imagine what a 15" sub would do to my house. It might collapse on top of me.

So you can only get a sub that is at least 18" and you need a minimum of 2... but 4 is much better. Actually, 4 is the minimum. 2 is garbage. 2 in front and 2 in back.

And, of course, you have to get a Rythmik or PSA subwoofer. Don't cheap out on the brand!

You have to build an addition to the house AND buy $8000 worth of subwoofers and then MAYBE your sound will be somewhat listenable.

But only if you calibrate the subs with a MiniDSP and the proper UMIK calibration microphone.

Wait, do you have a regular AVR with built in amplification? That won't do. What you need is an audio processor with individual external amplification.

You'll need a 9.4.6 configuration for the proper surround sound experience. That is 9 ear-level speakers, 4 subwoofers, and 6 atmos ceiling speakers.

So 2 of these.

1 of these.

3 pairs of these.

6 of these... plus professional ceiling installation.

And an individual amplifier for each speaker.

Do you really need a 600 watt amp for the ceiling speakers too?

OF COURSE YOU DO!

DO YOU WANT A LOW NOISE FLOOR AND NO DISTORTION OR DO YOU WANT GARBAGE?

Comfort is important too. So you'll want a Valencia leather power recliner with LED cup holder.

And... by far... the most important home theater component...

The power cable.

This will assure that only the highest quality electrons are delivered to your audio equipment.

Don't think about it too much.

Don't think about all of the janky powerlines that deliver electricity to your house.

Or all of the generic power cables inside your wall.

This cable magically negates all of that and turns the last few feet of electricity into pure, audio-grade power.

Guaranteed to drastically improve your sound quality... somehow.

It can't be nonsense, otherwise someone would have never written such beautiful prose about a power cable in a review...

"I was smitten by the piano’s extra depth in its nether regions. I’m not talking about what some audiophiles like to refer to as testicular bass, but rather, a rich and absorbing presentation."

$14,000 for rich and absorbing testicular bass? WORTH IT!

So that's roughly $65,870 for all of that and between $50,000 and $100,000 for a 500 square foot room addition.

A small price to pay for a room that is not junk for listening to music.

[surrealisticduvet]

Album Review: Infinite Rider on the Big Dogma (1979)

What is it? 

Infinite Rider… on the Big… Dogma.

What?

With this album, I decided to go with the “write as you re-listen” method of reviewing, since I knew I had so much to say about many of the songs individually. I hope this is as half as enjoyable to read as it was to write. As always, please let me know if you have any comments or dissenting opinions, I would love to hear them!

Without further, or really any, ado, we have “Dance”, a frivolously thrilling and unusual new style from our Michael. I am always a little shocked by its usage here as an opener, so used to it being the outro to Elephant Parts, in which many Infinite Rider songs feature. The instrumentation is rich and complex, in stark contrast to the lyrics –  “All I wanna do is dance and have a good time”. In some ways it leaves you confused as to why this wasn’t a big radio hit - is it the way he sings it, almost ironic in its empty-headedness? Is it just his bad luck? The song is too short to let you ponder for long. 

Next, we have “Magic” – my main gripe with this song, unfortunately not a bug but a feature, is the kitschy way he sings some of the high notes (we know for a fact he can hit them without so much falsetto fanfare) but it does add to the subtle irony of the song. Hidden underneath that facade, buried in the full, sustained notes of the chorus, is his true capacity. This song has a bit of a festive undertone with the bells lightly jingling, adding to the feeling of, genuinely, magic. Once again, this song is expertly produced, musically (aside from the background vocals “do-do-dooing” which I think is sometimes overkill) - there are a lot of layers which prevent it from sounding like a cheap holiday commercial.

I completely stand by the belief that “Flying” is an Eagles parody. Listen to this, and then listen to something like “One of These Nights.” I maintain also that this song is at least a parody of something, with lyrics that are deceptively genuine at first before dipping into deep unseriousness, all sung as straight-faced as ever. The middle eight here is again just exquisite. I wish there was an instrumental of this track particularly, although his vocals are so good that I wouldn’t push too hard for it. This song sounds like it ought to be played to a packed arena, something almost on the same level, musically, as “Comfortably Numb.” As the song fades out, you get a bit of a better listen to the drum and rhythm section, which has a unique stylistic blend and flare that, once again, adds depth to what otherwise might be called a boring album. (Misguided Rateyourmusic users have called it his “most accessible” album [read: contemporary, standard-issue, basic! – more on this at the end] but I disagree, at the risk of sounding pretentious… Infinite Rider is a complex and borderline experimental album; it just so happened that he was experimenting with things that happened to be in popular music at the time.)

Much like taking songs from The Prison out of their context as a soundtrack in order to review them musically, it is critical to take “Tonite” out of the context of Elephant Parts, in which it is evergreen in its evocation of the special as a whole – they were literally made for each other. The lyrics are weird, for Michael - on a first listen, you’ll be a little put off by them, until you get to the bridge and chorus, which swings back to the sort of strangeness that you’re used to, and now the old Hollywood oddness from the beginning starts to make a little sense. Three for three, these songs have so much going on musically that you never have a chance to be bored or question his intentions. There’s expert use of a piano/synth solo here which in some ways really dates the album as being from the late 70s/early 80s but that’s what I like so no complaints here. As the song ramps up towards the end (nearly unrecognizable from the moderately paced introductory verse) Michael slips into a rougher tone and drives the whole thing home. Careful listeners will catch the “I’m still inside of a little glass tube - I’m still inside of this room” as it fades out; a tasteful callback to the final scene of Head (1968), or just a bit of before-its-time commentary on the effect of fame on an individual’s psyche? Infinite Rider gives you no time at all to chew and swallow thoughtfully - the next song is already upon us.

“Carioca” is the first and only real reprieve you’ll get on this album, and it is still a wonderful song. Much like “Rio,” this song is inspired by what we can assume to be Michael’s fond memories of seeing Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in Flying Down to Rio (1933). His ability to belt out a chorus shines here, supported by pleasant instrumentation. Take a breath while you can, because up next we have…

… “Cruisin’”. If you’ve heard any song from this album already, it’s probably this – and you’ve probably seen a little bit of the music video from Elephant Parts, too. The verses are low-key and casual, and the whole thing reeks of sun-tan oil and hot tarmac. Whether or not you consider this to be Michael’s coming-out party, it’s still a compelling song much in the style of something like the Traveling Wilbury’s “Tweeter and the Monkey Man.” On its own, the song is fairly middle-of-the-road; it’s the music video that really makes it pop, with visual cues lining up perfectly to the song and Michael’s own performance of it (in those sunglasses...) 

From “Cruisin’” we dive straight into “Factions,” perhaps more memorably titled in early versions as “The Daughter of Rock n' Roll.” He didn’t invent anything new with the song, but definitely proved that he could keep up with the times, musically. The things he does with his voice here are almost foreign, a tone and gravel that we’ve never heard from him before. The song itself is good, with clever lyrics and an interesting story, a classic Nesmithian take on the contemporary “rock ‘n’ roll song about rock ‘n’ roll.” It’s not at the top of the album for me, but any song that effectively uses and rhymes the word “Boogie” gets a free pass for me. 

Take another deep breath at the end of this one, because you’re about to experience what is possibly, maybe probably, my favorite song of his ever: “Light.” Immediately, he has dropped the ironic and performative vocal quirks, and is once again singing in his own sweet tenor, with just a few humorous dips to keep you guessing. This song effortlessly blends bleating saxophone solos with laid-back steely drum meanderings, quivering organ overtones, and a sturdy, pulsing bassline. The lyrics are simple, yet powerful – “but the light from the window is the brightest of all” among others. I find it interesting that the song is called not “lights” plural, but “Light,” singular, implying that these eclectic lights are all interconnected, blending together from and into one infinite form. Once you have seen the music video for this, you’ll never listen to the song without its dancer flashing and jumping through your mind, it’s truly mesmerizing and at times otherworldly – again, the visions of the dancer and Michael are melded together by the use of mirrors and cutaways to create a mind bending effect. “Light” clocks in at 3:21 and feels even shorter; it ends almost abruptly, with the sax trailing off. I usually have to listen to it at least a second time to really let it sink in. 

One Tumblr user has in the past posited that we should “kill Horserace and replace it with a second Light” (Surrealisticduvet, 2024), and I wholeheartedly agree with that sentiment. Much like “The Other Room” is on From a Radio Engine to the Photon Wing, “Horserace”’s placement here is jarring, uncouth, and downright disrespectful to the rest of the album. Okay – now that I’ve gotten all that out of my system, let me explain why it just doesn’t work for me. While many songs on Infinite Rider have lyrics that are tongue-in-cheek, parodical, and dare I say intentionally silly, “Horserace” feels to me almost sloppy. Many words are rhymed with each other in such a way that it doesn’t feel intentional, meaning that by default it sounds amateurish. Michael here utilizes the same growl that he does on “Factions” and to some extent “Dance,” but it overpowers the track to the point where I had a hard time focusing on the music. (When I managed to, I confirmed to myself that it wasn’t as intricately crafted as any of the first 7 songs, and certainly not the last one we just listened to.) I’ve always said that even Michael’s worst songs are still worth listening to; such is not the case with “Horserace.” Listen to “Light” a second time and then hit that skip button.

“Capsule” is another one of those songs that Michael co-wrote with a few other people, and it is, dare I say, obvious. I like what he was trying to do, and the song sounds interesting, with a cool, jazzy swing. I don’t think it’s among his best work, either vocally or lyrically, and it’s a bit of a disappointing closer to an otherwise fast-paced and densely enjoyable album. 

I have to give a little shout out to the album’s outtakes, which I actually didn’t even know about until very recently. “Rollin’” is a real foot-tapper that takes his old song “Roll With the Flow” and revamps it in late-70’s radio-rock fashion with a “Mama Rocker”-style piano breakdown that sweeps up and down the keys. The whole song is pretty simple, but fun and effective, and I really like it. “Walkin’ in the Sand” is an interesting track, a true outtake in the sense that it breaks free from the one-word-title constraint he set for himself on this album. It’s like nothing I’ve ever heard from him, ramping up his affinity for minor-keys to a new level, with a glaring bass riff like something from the Arctic Monkeys (sorry, I can’t think of a more period-appropriate comparison). I’d be curious about what he could do in this style if given a whole album to play with – but if all we ever got was this one song, I’m still thrilled. 

Conclusion:

I think Infinite Rider, despite being perhaps more well-known during its time than his other albums, is largely misunderstood. (To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to enjoy his… oh, god, listen to me.) Some reviews call it his most accessible album, and laud his return into the sphere of pop music. I have a hard time explicitly agreeing with these assertions; I don’t think the album’s true intentions are as wholesome, simplistic, and popularity-seeking as some may claim. Much like The Prison was written as a soundtrack, Infinite Rider was written as a “video album” – to listen to “Magic” or “Cruisin’” on their own, without the music video, is to experience only half of the song. Even tracks which were not released with a visual component, I would argue, must still be considered within this context.

Critics also say that this album was overproduced and that there’s too much going on, instrumentally; this is just a difference of taste – I like an album you can listen to half a dozen times over and still hear something new. One amateur reviewer (my peer, I suppose) said that they appreciated the album since, despite its tongue-twisting title, it was easy to enjoy without having to crawl into Nesmith’s head to “get” it. Well, I guess I can’t argue with that – Infinite Rider’s appeal lies in the fact that to the casual listener, it is a good rock ‘n’ rollin’ time that ends after 38 minutes and 15 seconds; for anyone with enough time on their hands to dig a little deeper, rest assured that Michael will not disappoint.

[weaselandfriends]

hey I just read Modern Cannibals in its entirety and adored it. Nigh-masterpiece of fiction, beautifully written, highly enjoyed the discussion of the relationship between creators and their audience, between creators and those secondary to their creation, identity and its division in many forms and perception of others and how that relates to their 'true' selves, what a 'true' self is, and how all of these were wrapped together into a cohesive whole.

Furthermore, while I admit these might be a little more interprative I found it to be a valuable depiction of race within power dynamics (such as the inherent power white people hold over nonwhite people in various forms, and the differing responses between the white and nonwhite cast that reflects this; perfect) and the depiction of autism in its varying forms and the perception of autistic people (which also goes back into the identity theme ofc). dont correct me if you didnt do these bits on purpose pls though I enjoy having an interpretation that may or may not be there that I can read regardless of that

my favorite thing about it really was the characters though, you write characters in such an incredibly well-rounded way that I've been missing in basically everything else. they feel both relatable and real, which I think owes to having many traits which all relate to their core selves and motiviations but don't feel limited to just 'positive' or 'palatable' traits like I think too many things do, or tying them to a moral orientation or narrative alignment. this isn't exactly rare in lit or other art of course but to achieve this while also writing characters I can personally connect with and be attached to is, I think having both depth and meaning is a big achievement. thank you so much for that. I think Kiki especially is essentially everything I've ever wanted from a character lmao, but god Z. is fantastic and so is Cal and everyone else.

My only real major criticism is that there's a decent amount of grammatical errors that I have to assume are unintentional (as well as some obvious typos that I know are) and they kind of stick out badly esp when you're making intentional grammatical breaks. I think missing commas or other punctuation marks are the main thing here (which I know is intentional in Maxmillion's speech and Z.'s narration for example, but again I think some of them stick out as just being mistakes) but there's also some misspellings and such that I think could've been mitigated with another sweep of it. That's my only criticism that isn't minor nitpicks though, lmao.

i'll be mulling over various things about it for a while (esp re: the ending, Max and his role, Maximillion who I think is wonderfully complex in many ways) but for now I just have one question:

What would you say your biggest influences for this were? And what would you say your biggest influences in regards to character writing were in general, because again that's what astonished me the most with this and I'd love to read where you got it from.

I was going to have multiple questions but those don't really relate to Modern Cannibals so I'll put them in a second post lmao. Thanks so much for the brilliant writing.

Thank you for the deep and thoughtful review!

I'm actually surprised you found a lot of grammatical and spelling errors, as I did do several detailed editing passes over the story. While I would imagine some errors remain, I wouldn't imagine them to be especially frequent. Given the way Modern Cannibals is written, I would expect there to be some intentionality behind a lot of them. I do know that, in both Fargo and Modern Cannibals, I was making a consistent grammatical error regarding dialogue tags, where I was writing them like so:

"Lorum ipsum," she said, "Blah blah."

Which is wrong, the Blah should not be capitalized. This is an error I realized I was making between Modern Cannibals and Chicago, so all my stories from Chicago on don't have it. It's something I should go back and fix for Fargo and Modern Cannibals at some point.

(Also, if you ever see a typo or mistake in a story I wrote, please let me know, either through a message or comment - I always like to fix those.)

Regarding your questions:

What would you say your biggest influences for this were? The biggest influence was Homestuck, which might be obvious. I first read Homestuck in Fall 2012, and it was the most I've ever been impacted by a work of fiction. I remember getting caught up (this was somewhere in Act 6 Intermission 3) and falling back in a stupor on my bed, messing up my angle and banging my head on a board so hard it bled. For the next month, I was in a daze, barely able to function as a human as I meandered around my college campus, in awe of what I considered the greatest work of fiction written in at least a decade, something that seemed so innovative and important for the direction of literature in general. It was this stupor that formed the basis of the idea that would become Modern Cannibals, which I initially conceived of as more of a fantasy story, set in a waterworld, with the Hussie analog an actual wizard whose work had infohazardous properties. (The main character would travel by boat to reach Hussie, rather than take a road trip.) This idea transitioned into a more conventional, real-world one, though I still imagined the Homestuck expy to be actually infohazardous until very late in development; it was only at the very final draft that I decided to tilt the story so that any magical properties existed primarily in Z.'s mind.

(In 2014, I submitted an early draft of the first chapter of the story, which leaned into the infohazard elements, to a creative writing workshop, where the professor described it as derivative of Infinite Jest, which I had not read at the time.)

More minor or tangential influences would be The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway, which is classic literature's road trip story. I also pulled from Road Trip Horror films such as Steven Spielberg's Duel for that sequence. The story-within-a-story element of Faerie Endless had its own miniature development cycle, with Z. originally obsessed with a much more generic JRPG called Gryffonquest. This changed when I saw this video about GATE, which (among other things) criticizes how the otaku main character is obsessed with the most generic Dragon Quest-y JRPG imaginable, and which reoriented my thinking toward fiction-within-fiction to make it much more distinctive.

I also think Ulysses by James Joyce had a major impact on the prose of Modern Cannibals. I read Ulysses for the first time while I was writing Arc 3 of Fargo, and I think the prose tilting more stream of conscious both there and in Modern Cannibals could clearly be drawn back to that.

And what would you say your biggest influences in regards to character writing were in general? I've always been drawn to larger-than-life personalities in characters. As a kid, I always hated the main character of anything. I thought they were boring, in their everyman relatability (I never related to fictional characters at all). I always preferred bizarre and eccentric side characters, who I felt never received as much screen time as they deserved. Many of my works are written from the perspective of taking minor characters and making them major. And from that perspective, you're going to get a lot of characters with weird gimmicks, who have some sort of multifaceted aspect to ensure they can sustain a major role in the narrative.

Modern Cannibals was my first work where I actually thought consciously about the second part, the multifaceted aspect. Before that I was perfectly willing to write gimmick characters as major characters who were just gimmick characters. Not having an idea of where to take the plot of Fargo in the first arc (which had become a series of action scenes stacked on top of one another) had necessitated I come up with more depth for characters like Delaney and Winnipeg, and I took that idea with me into Modern Cannibals, this time planning out the hangups and issues each character was dealing with under the surface of their personality. That actually became crucial to the structure of Modern Cannibals: I wanted readers to feel trapped in Z.'s perspective, suffocated, until the gauntlet of other perspectives near the end of the story that would reveal far more about the characters in her life, with whom she had previously interacted on a far more surface level.

It's possibly my disinterest in traditional main characters that made me apathetic toward the idea of imbuing characters with primarily positive traits. The characters I liked were usually ones denigrated by the narrative, considered too weird or unlikeable or even just ancillary and thus damned (especially in the theater of slasher horror that sustained me from age 13 to 18). I always had the most sympathy for those characters, and hated the narrative's naked attempts to make you hate them and root for their demise; that always seemed unfair to me.

[riseofthecommonwoodpile]

i’ve always really loved and appreciated how you write about and engage with art. i’m sort of disquieted with the way the conversation around art is going ? and i was wondering if you had any writing or work that was formative or generative for you on like art criticism and such. i realize this might be a stupid thing to ask! i find your work really delicious and invigorating

you are way too kind, thank you! i've been thinking about this for a minute, but i'm not sure what to say because nothing sticks out as formative for me. there was no one writer or work that made me want to do it. i know i read a lot of the writers at The Dissolve and Tiny Mix Tapes (RIP to two legends, you are missed), and Ignatiy Vishnevetsky's writing was something I always kept up with. idk how accurate this is or if I've just created a narrative in my brain that feels right, but I think the main person that made me want to write more in-depth than just reviews was Austin Walker. I loved Giant Bomb back when it was Giant Bomb and not A Bunch of Random People, and when he came on board it was huge for me, just an incredibly smart and funny man who could make really abstract high-level concepts feel vital and immediate. When he moved to Waypoint I followed, and I think they did great work (again, RIP). And then obviously Mark Fisher, idk who writing cultural criticism today isn't influenced by him.

To be honest though, most of what influences me as a writer is either specific fiction I love or philosophy I've read (it is very easy to trace what philosophy books I was currently reading if you go through a lot of my writing on Dim the House Lights lol). In that realm, I am a James Joyce simp, with Samuel Delany not far behind, and Roberto Bolaño in the mix too (unoriginal I know, but they're all just so incredible). Laura Kasischke's poetry has also had a really active impact on how I write, and when I read back especially some of the later stuff I wrote before I stopped I see so many phrases where I clearly aped her specific rhythm. For philosophy, a lot of the pessimists were huge for me (Schopenhauer and Camus most), as well as post-modernists like Derrida (one of the few philosophers who actually has an interesting literary style beyond his ideas) and, of course, Wittgenstein (late period), who is probably the best to ever do it. I'm generally a continental philosophy girl, none of that analytic tedium using their lack of confidence as an excuse to aim low (if I can be dismissive [and I can, it's my post]).

I don't know how helpful any of that is, but you have it now.

Speaking of Austin Walker btw, if you're looking for stuff that's still active, the podcast Austin does with Cameron Kunzelman and Michael Lutz, Shelved by Genre, is a consistent must-listen for me, and two of the other podcasts Cameron and Michael do (Just King Things and Game Studies Study Buddies) are really good as well.

[the-starry-lycan]

Starry’s Fanfic Year In Review!!!!!

got tagged by @smaller-comfort and I'm gonna tag @boltslutters @lostsoulofdragon @neoyi-backstreetback for this, as well as anyone who wants to pawticipate!!!

Number of stories posted to ao3: 35, holy bones!!! Given this is my first year ever posting, this is an awesome number!

Word count posted for last year: 124,187… so dang, not bad!! I wrote quite a lot, it seems.. at least in my own opinion. There’s also my unpublished fic, which adds to that number significantly.

Fandoms I wrote for: Sea of Stars, The Messenger, Subnautica, Transformers (several continuities), Trigun, and Honkai Star Rail.

Pairings: VashWood, MegOp, ProwlBee, Reshorul, RatioRine, Al-An/Robin.

Stories with the most kudos, bookmarks, comments/threads: Wise Man’s Folly, and your patience a virtue are two of the really famous ones in terms of most kudos and hits. Chrysopoeia is one that’s had a lot of comment interaction, same with A Glass Golem’s Adventures in Throwability.. but a certain octoberfic I have on anon takes the cake for comment threads! And thank you to all those who interacted on that one :3 it gives me a lot courage to keep writing!

Work I’m most proud of and why: I think I’m most proud of Wise Man’s Folly, because I feel like I really wrote well the trauma that some of the characters experience, get the storyline going, and got that tasteful, emotional smut to hit just right. The love’s strong with that one!

Work I’m least proud of and why: I.. might actually think Chrysopoeia. I’m a little insecure about how I portray Aephorul there, and I feel like the fic’s too long, like it dawdles on it’s purpose. Hope to finish it soon and be done!

Share or describe a favorite review you received: There’s a good several pawfuls on my sabo sexyfic that I really loved, but one I’d like to reminisce on was from Wise Man’s Folly, where this sweet person gave me such a wonderful review on both chapters! I go back and read the comments I get pretty often, so thank you to everyone who comments on my work!!

A time when writing was really, really hard: Christmas was tough because I didn’t really have any time to write undisturbed, as I’m kind of a secret writer to my family.. but finals and uni admissions earlier in spring was also a very tough time because of the sheer amount of stress on me.

A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:  I have really enjoyed writing Ninja, from the Messenger, as I feel like I can write him well AND convey that which I want to. He’s a fun character, what can I say!

A favourite excerpt of your writing: I have a couple, hehe, but here're the ones I happen to like a lot.

"Your beautiful smile, that one that seemed so genuine when you were drunk and when I bundled you up? As though you cherished to be held for every moment? You wanted so badly for me to sleep with you.. ..but was it simply that closeness you craved?"

"...as though Aephorul wanted to draw Resh'an into the depths of himself, absorb him until the two were one, silent and writhing and perfect."

How did you grow as a writer last year: I've honestly gotten a LOT of bravery as a writer, pushing boundaries to discover what I like and to write more of what I already do enjoy! In fact, sharing my work was a biiiiig step in my growth as a writer, and I am really proud of this.. not to mention happy for all the support I've gotten from my readers!

Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer, beta, cheerleader, etc.): I've had a lot of positive influences from my friends, both online and irl, as well as my readers and the Sabotage Studio fandom as a whole! A particular friend has helped me with ideas and some bravery with my transformers fic, so thank you!!

Anything from your real life show up in your writing last year: Very probably? I know I definitely put in my fics some of the stuff I learn from uni and that I'm generally passionate in, like my biology and chemistry stuff... psychology, too, but that's just 'cause I like psych! (and it's on the MCAT..)

Any projects you’re looking to starting (or finishing) this year: I really do wanna finish up certain unfinished fic from last year, namely ones like Chrysopoeia and the sabo sexyfic, just so I can tie up all my loose ends. Cell Block Tango's a fun one and I do wanna write for that just because it's a fic I'm excited to write for!

As for new stuff, I am planning a LOT of transformers fic for this year, ranging from my empurata!Prowl AU to some variegated TF fics of all continuities! I also have a couple of Hellboy (comic & movie) fics I wanna get out, and some Ace Attorney and Trigun things while I'm at it. So.... LOTS of things for the new year!

[deke-rivers-1957]

It Happened at the World's Fair Review

It Happened at the World's Fair expands on what was introduced in Girls! Girls! Girls! (which came out after World's Fair filming started). Taking inspiration from Blue Hawaii, this set of movies are music heavy, have colorful scenery and involve Elvis having to work with child actors. The scenery in this case is the real life world's fair. The 1962 World's Fair in Seattle opened in April and closed in October. With a very limited timeline, it was very important that the movie comes out before the novelty of the fair is gone.

Because this is an actively operating fair, there were many issues involving crowd control. It's a major reason why filming didn't even start in September when most children started school. Naturally, this posed a problem because this meant despite making the movie as fast as possible, it still came out in April 1963 (6 months after the fair closed). Despite the logistical issues, does this movie capture the beauty of the World's Fair while balancing its plot, or does it take a complete nose dive because of the rushed production? Let's find out.

To start with, I'm not a big fan of the title. I get you need to highlight the World's Fair but it's a bit clunky. Might I suggest "World's Fair Wonders"? This opening song is forgettable. "Beyond the Bend" sounds like a rejected version of "Ridin' the Rainbow" from Kid Galahad. Since those two songs have the same songwriters, I get the idea that they repeat melodies to make up for the extra songs. After all Kid Galahad (at the time the last movie the songwriters worked on) only had 6 songs while this movie now has 10.

Elvis singing while flying a crop duster feels dangerous since it's obvious he's distracted. He looks goofy wearing those goggles and just seems out of place. We immediately get jokes with Elvis being a pilot claiming he can't see the barn. It's a joke as old as the Three Stooges. Elvis is so irresponsible that he flies the plane practically next to the road just to flirt with some girls. They almost crash into some telephone wires and I wonder if Paradise, Hawaiian Style was inspired by this scene when they did the helicopter scene with the dogs.

Surprisingly for a cliche womanizer, Mike is financially responsible. It isn't much but it does give him some depth. Given how he almost crashed the plane because he was distracted by women, it's impressive that he that it's not his entire character. As to why he doesn't take the money with him, I have no idea. I guess you have to assume that Mike doesn't know Danny had access to his hiding place.

So he goes to meet one of his girlfriends, Dorothy, who we never see again. They're making out on the couch while Dorothy wants to push away to get some iced tea. But Mike insists on keeping the action going. I know out of context "Relax" is a steamy song, but I wonder if it was intentional to make Mike so pushy. Because he's always touching Dorothy while she pushes him away and does everything she can to get away from him. He pulls stuff out of her hands and it's just creepy.

Her parents come back and I'm very confused on why Dorothy's dad is so upset. Unless we're assuming that they have never met Mike in their entire lives, it's very strange to react like that. At least seeing Mike run for the hills gives us a little chuckle as if to say "yeah he had it coming". The whole scene is just random as we didn't need to emphasize that Mike's a womanizer. The opening scene already tells us that he's a flirt. Since Dorothy doesn't even come back, it just feels like a scene where you go "ok that happened" as it came and went without adding anything.

Mike somehow catches up with a now broke Danny. After multiple bad hands, Danny can't pay his losses to some guys including a Red West cameo. A fight breaks out in the office and I don't think I've ever seen such an ugly scene. That gives it a bit more realism. You don't expect regular guys to have the punch of death. It's supposed to be ugly and brutal and it's not completely unrealistic that Mike and Danny win long enough to get away in their plane, Bessie.

The duo lands in Sherrington where they find out that because of the many debts they have, the sheriff "boots" their plane. He takes away their keys and gives them the ultimatum: pay the $1200 debt in 2 weeks or their plane goes up for auction to recoup the money. That's a pretty good set up for a conflict. It doesn't involve Elvis having bad luck, but instead relies on his friend having a realistic character flaw in the form of a gambling addiction.

Penniless and stranded, the duo tries to get a free ride into town. For how expensive his suits were, I'm amazed they had Elvis walking down the road in it. At first a car with a couple women stop but they only wanted Mike's lighter. I'm not sure if it was meant to be a joke or a narrative device meant to make the audience feel bad for them. Personally I don't think it does any of that. I didn't think it was funny and the "pain" they endure from the bad luck doesn't last long as they immediately get a ride. It makes me wonder why it was even added since there was no indication that a long period of time passed.

We get introduced Mr. Walter Ling and his niece Sue-Lin. I love this family. It's obvious that this is an Asian immigrant family which is very realistic for this part of the country and the time period. Despite Mr. Ling's actor being Chinese and Sue-Lin's actress being born in Manila (which is in the Philippines), it's actually not that bizarre. The Philippines does have a Chinese population so you can easily assume that Sue-Lin has some Chinese ancestry. For the time period, I'm so glad that this family is depicted as real people as opposed to stereotypes.

They drive to the World's Fair and I love the real backgrounds we get because of it. Mr. Ling being a delivery driver makes perfect sense since there are plenty of farms around the Seattle area. He can make extra money to be able to afford going to the fair. Sue-Lin has Mike try to explain what she might see and we get a decent song as "Take Me to the Fair" is a whimsical tune. I love Sue-Lin as a character. She isn't a generic cutesy girl character. We get genuine depth by showing that she's able to understand Chinese when her uncle is talking on the phone. When she finds out that uncle Walter has an important job and can't take her to the fair, she's naturally upset. It's not done in an over the top way where she has a complete tantrum. She understands that uncle Walter needs to take the job, but she's of course disappointed. Her realistic reaction only makes you appreciate Mike when he at first begrudgingly agrees to take her.

Mike's distracted by woman and we get it he's a womanizer. They could've just had him be absentminded because he's worried about finding a way to get money. But I do love how we see Mike and Sue-Lin interact with the real exhibitions such as the monorail. It gives you a special perspective that goes beyond a soundstage and shows just how big this fair is.

We get a Joe cameo as the man who gives Sue-Lin her red dog. I love the montage of them going around the fair. It's a wonderful showcase of what was there in case the viewer never had a chance to go and for younger generations who might not even know about the fair. Plus we get to see Mike warm up to Sue-Lin like he's taking his own daughter or niece to the fair. I can believe a change like that can happen in a short period of time. Unlike a romantic relationship, you don't need to have a lot happen to get along with a child. And it's not like Mike hated Sue-Lin as they got along on the truck ride.

It's really incredible to see just how much you can do at the fair for what doesn't seem like a lot of money. If only this was made earlier as it would've been a great way to promote the movie. After one too many treats, Mike takes Sue-Lin to the fair's nurse station. While Sue-Lin's being treated, Mike starts talking to himself and looks distractingly tan. When the nurse comes in and sees this he naturally can't help but flirt with her.

He pretends to have something in his eye and it's shocking how unapologetically pushy he is. I love how Nurse Warren rightfully calls him out on this. You really feel uncomfortable for her since it's relatable to have a man flirt unwarranted. Sue-Lin feels better so the two of them leave. Mike looks smitten and I have no idea what's meant to be so special about Nurse Warren. Because unless he thinks she's just playing hard to get, they have literally no chemistry.

I love this song. "They Remind Me Too Much of You" is such a beautiful ballad that if it wasn't for the fact that his first interaction with Nurse Warren went horribly, it would be the perfect ballad. We never see a quiet moment like this in any Elvis movie. In fact this is the first time outside of the opening song where Elvis isn't even singing out loud. He's only thinking about it as Sue-Lin sleeps. Not a single word is spoken as we take in this moment of Mike reflecting about his feelings. It's easily the best scene in the movie as it shows that Mike is so much more than a womanizer.

Mr. Ling returns to pick up Sue-Lin and you really get the idea that Mike loved "chaperoning" her. Sure he does say out loud to Danny that he was more happy about meeting Nurse Warren, but I honestly think the movie should've skipped the romance altogether. Mike had more chemistry with Sue-Lin in that one montage than he ever had with any other woman. The scenes with Dorothy and Nurse Warren only shows how shallow he is with women. With Sue-Lin we see a different side of Mike where he grows to care for Sue-Lin like she's his own family member.

Danny manages to swing the duo a temporary home that was set up for people attending the fair. We get introduced to Barney "yoo hoo" Thatcher who Danny uses as his pigeon to get money. Mike talks about how to get with Nurse Warren and again all I can think of is just how shallow he is. Even if he does succeed, it doesn't feel satisfying here because it doesn't feel like he'll change.

"One Broken Heart for Sale" is such an unnecessary song. We don't need to be bashed over the head with the obvious fact that Mike is horny for the nurse. Mike doesn't even deserve to say his heart is broken. You can't say your heart is broken just because someone you just met didn't reciprocate your pushy behavior. It doesn't add anything and just feels so out of place since you also have the other old men magically know what he's singing. Just shows how even the best songwriters can have duds if they're not in the right context. It's a shame because Otis Blackwell and Winfield Scott have had great successes with Elvis.

We cut to the next day as Mike has a ploy to get Nurse Warren's attention. He pays a boy, played by an uncredited Kurt Russell, a quarter to kick him in the shin. I love how as Elvis screams in pain, you can see people in the background turn to see what happened. That's a sign that this was a genuine crowd and only makes the setting feel real. Given the extent of the actual injury I'm more amazed that the nurses didn't immediately call for an ambulance. If Mike supposedly can't walk properly that could possibly be a sign of a broken leg. Mike says he blacked out which if you're a nurse is a red flag. The head nurse even has him walk on it and you just have to wonder why they're doing this. They don't know Mike is exaggerating so they're doing a horrible job of insuring his safety when the head nurse suggests Nurse Warren escorts him home.

As Nurse Warren shows no sense of urgency we get pretty obvious rear screen projections as the two talk. Why are we doing this? Nurse Warren doesn't know that Mike's faking so why is she taking her sweet time getting him home? In fact, when Mike again lies about blacking out, instead of calling for an ambulance she instead helps him up to the real rotating restaurant. Why? A professional would've immediately called for an ambulance. You would never risk moving someone who feels that dizzy as you would risk causing them further injury.

His ploy seems to work though since Nurse Warren is in no rush to leave the restaurant. In fact based on the passage of time they've been in that restaurant for hours. Mike even sings a ballad about how he's in love with Nurse Warren. "I'm Falling in Love Tonight" is such a generic ballad that I have no idea why I'm supposed to support this budding romance. Nurse Warren falling for Mike is something I don't buy at all. If anything it's showing that so long as you get the girl, you can be as pushy and manipulative as you want. That's a terrible moral to have for what's supposed to be a family film. It'd make more sense if she's just going along with this until it all blows up in his face, but that isn't at all how it's presented

I do love how the extras have their own charm to the movie. These were legit patrons that had no idea of what's happening. Them clapping after Mike's song was real and I love it because it shows just how weird it is to have someone burst into song in a restaurant. Mike's ploy immediately falls apart as the boy from earlier comes back. He kicks Mike in the shin and I love the old man who's just like "oh my God what's happening". He looks realistically concerned.

As Mike tries to apologize to Nurse Warren, Sue-Lin rushes up to him. She tearfully tells him that her uncle didn't come back from a job. Given how she waited from 9 am to 3 pm for Mr. Ling to return, I'd say Sue-Lin handled the situation very well for a child. You always allow for some delay if someone's traveling because you never know what would happen. When it became obvious that something had to have happened, it's natural for her to be very concerned.

This is the most realistic acting from a child I've ever seen. A 7 year old girl possibly losing her only guardian is terrifying situation to be in. It really says a lot that she didn't go one of her neighbors since they were living in one of those temporary homes as well. In fact, I'm amazed that not a single adult noticed her wandering the fair alone and most likely in distress. It's like the movie wants us to believe Mike's the only adult in this movie who Sue-Lin can even trust.

He takes Sue-Lin home and the movie immediately got better again. Mike explains that he took every measure to make sure people know he has Sue-Lin. I love this as he could've easily been the buffoon that has no idea how to tell anyone that he's watching a child who would otherwise have no one. It seems like it's relatively late at night, so while you can question if Mike's doing the right thing, it's at least better to have Sue-Lin be in a safe space than drive around trying to find the authorities.

We get a sweet scene where Sue-Lin dresses in her traditionally Chinese pajamas. Mike even sings "Cotton Candy Land" as a lullaby. In the context that it's in, I know the lullaby is meant to be sweet, but I only get a creepy vibe to it. I'm not sure why but to me Mike singing it in a quiet voice and the music just makes me feel more scared than soothed. The sandman doesn't feel like this whimsical creature but more like a monster. I'm sure that was unintentional as I don't think it's a common opinion to feel that way.

After pretending to be sick so Mike can make up with Nurse Warren, she arrives to check out Sue-Lin. It's a bit distracting how the studio light casts a big shadow. You know that little night lamp isn't doing that. Sue-Lin tells Nurse Warren the truth and I'm amazed Nurse Warren didn't immediately raise an eyebrow. Then again this is the same woman who took what she believed to be an injured Mike up to a rotating restaurant when he said he was about to blackout. I can't take any expertise or authority a character like her should have seriously.

The movie clearly has no idea on how to handle their relationship as Nurse Warren starts to fall for Mike again when he serenades her. "A World of Our Own" is so unnecessary. Mike being nice to Sue-Lin and taking care of her doesn't eliminate the fact that he was pushy and manipulated her. The whole relationship just feels forced as I don't think this couple has any chemistry. Again there's nothing about Nurse Warren that makes her different since there's a clear difference between playing hard to get and having no interest. While the movie wants to tell you that she's the former, you really know that it's the latter.

Danny comes back from his card games completely drunk. You would think this would tell Nurse Warren that Sue-Lin living with Mike is a bad idea. But no. It's not even a thought that was uttered as she just drives home. How? She has the authority to report this to the authorities since Danny being drunk can lead to terrible consequences. Especially when you have a child in the home.

Danny meanwhile meets up with a guy named Vince who offers Danny a deal to fly up to Canada. Oh yeah they had a debt to repay. I almost forgot about that since that plot took a back seat to the conflict of Mike caring for Sue-Lin and the conflict of Mike getting with Nurse Warren. Vince outright agrees to pay them the whole amount that would allow the duo to get their plane back. So naturally you assume he's going to be the villain which can't possibly be a good thing since he's been introduced way too late in the movie to really do anything important.

Mike comes back from asking about Sue-Lin's uncle. We get a sweet moment where he watches her color before playing "How Would You Like to Be?" with the windup clowns. I love the song as it does serve a purpose. Mike is trying to cheer up Sue-Lin and it of course makes sense that Sue-Lin only sings along once she feels better. These aren't complicated lyrics to try to have a young girl learn so it feels realistic for her to join in. Her dancing along with Mike is sweet but the smirk he has does feel out of place. I would've used a different shot as out of context you don't think he's looking at a 7 year old girl.

A woman from Child Services arrive to take Sue-Lin away. Because after a couple days, now it's a problem for Sue-Lin to be here. The woman says "an abandoned child is automatically a ward of the state" which is a lie. Sue-Lin wasn't immediately taken by the police who had to have known she was with Mike. This whole plot point is terrible as it doesn't properly set up why now all of a sudden is it a problem. The woman claims that it was Nurse Warren who made the complaint which you immediately know isn't true. If Nurse Warren genuinely believed that Sue-Lin wasn't safe, that would've been conveyed in the previous scene. This is just terrible drama meant to turn Mike off of her. Also there's no way that woman from Child Services would straight up tell Mike who made the complaint. That would put the person who made the complaint at risk of retaliation.

This whole situation is gets even worse as for someone who's supposed to be in Child Services, she can't even keep track of one child. I understand that Child Services has a very legitimate job, but this movie doesn't paint them in a good light at all. Instead of taking this seriously, I just see Child Services as a joke in this movie. They're only now making a stink about custody of a child when not even the police mentioned it. Instead of making it a forced situation from the start, it was only "suggested" so I have no reason to buy this organization as legitimate. I can only think of the much later film Lilo & Stitch as it does a better job of setting up why Lilo could be taken out of the home.

So we have Mike now desperately trying to find Sue-Lin as he's the only one who would know where she could be. As irrational as it is that he wouldn't tell authorities where she would be, I 100% get it in this situation. The authorities have done nothing to prove that they are reliable. In fact, if Mike didn't find her, you already know Sue-Lin would just runaway again. It's really sad that a child feels more safe with Mike than the authorities meant to protect abandoned children. It's also frustrating that because of the situation, Mike's now being painted as if he's abducting her.

Mike and Sue-Lin manage to make it to the airport just as Nurse Warren arrives trying to find them. She tries to explain what happened but he naturally doesn't want to hear it. Mike is just so done with everyone as he immediately finds out about the smuggling scheme. I know that Vince being a criminal was going to be this twist but wow they really just dropped that fur smuggling scheme that quickly. It doesn't even give that much importance or tension as Sue-Lin actually does something by biting Vince's finger when he's holding them at gunpoint. A fight breaks out and again it's ugly. Just like a real fight between non-professionals. Mike at this point is running on pure adrenaline so it makes perfect sense for him to win. But it's just so anti-climatic because really? This is what you've been building Danny's subplot up to? This plot element of Danny being involved in a fur smuggling scheme is introduced and resolved so quickly that there's no point in it even existing.

They get caught by the police and it turns out Danny was the one who contacted Child Services. This is a stupid twist as there's no way he could've fooled the woman from Child Services into thinking he's a woman. Also why's he now deciding that Sue-Lin was a problem when he didn't want her being there in the first place? It's not like he cared about Mike's feelings for her.We then find out that Mr Ling was only 20 miles south of the town and was in an emergency hospital. 20 miles is not that far so I have no idea why it took them all these days to figure this out. If Sue-Lin knew where he was going that she knew he should be back by certain point, what's the mystery here? It isn't like uncle Walter got kidnapped and no one knows where he could've been taken. Again a very anti-climatic ending for something that took up a big chunk of the movie.

We time skip to Mike applying to NASA as he walks with Nurse Warren through the fairgrounds. He sings about how this is a happy ending with a very fitting title "Happy Ending". Danny and Sue-Lin with her uncle Walter are nowhere to be seen to share this moment and absolutely nothing was earned. Maybe I'm missing something, but I just don't think this couple is likable and Mike was better off forgetting about her. It isn't unrealistic to realize "hey my priorities have changed. Getting the girl doesn't matter to me anymore. All that matters is that Sue-Lin is safe." That's character growth.

But no this is an Elvis movie and regardless of whether it makes sense for them to be together, he has to get the girl. It just makes you wonder why we spent all this time on something only for it to be completely hand waved like it was nothing. Almost like they completely ran out of time with writing the script and just had to say "everything is magically resolved no matter how ridiculous it is".

This movie clearly tried to do too much and it shows. You have the conflict of Mike and Danny being broke and needing to get the money for their plane; Mike wanting to get with Nurse Warren and having to deal with her being mad at him because he lied; Sue-Lin's uncle going missing and people thinking she needs to go to Child Services; and a last minute fur smuggling scheme. None of these plots were resolved in a way that feels like thought was put into it. They were only resolved because it's an Elvis movie that has to have a happy ending as opposed to naturally fixing them. As a result, the whole film is messy and is a case of wasted potential. It seriously needs a rewrite to smooth out everything that doesn't connect together well.

That being said, I give this film a 7/10. I can respect the attempt at giving an Elvis character depth, but I still think more work needed to be done. I do recommend watching it simply because the fairground scenes act as a time capsule of what life was like back then. It's just unfortunate that the movie was rushed because it was a great concept. No matter how you look at it, you wouldn't have been able to get this movie out in time to promote the fair. You can't film before the fair opens because then you have nothing to serve as a background since it's being built. You definitely can't film it in April because then you have to worry about the massive crowds since it's a total novelty and you can't do what the directors chose to do and film near the fair's ending because then you won't be able to get it out in time to promote it. It's a lose-lose situation which is a horrible shame but I at least respect the fact that they tried doing something like this.

AN: Thank you to my discord bestie snaileyinsheff for suggesting this movie and providing input. Also shout out to @hooked-on-elvis for providing the link that I used to watch the movie.

Tagging: @eapep, @i-r-i-n-a-a, @atleastpleasetelephone, @huhhhhsthings, @jhoneybees,

@eptodaytommorowforever, @thetaoofzoe, @smokeymountainboy, @dragonkingsdaughter, @myradiaz,

@dnnenenens, @wildhorseinkansas, @lett-them-eatt-cake, @vintagepresley, @mercsandmonsters,

@velvetelvis, @arrolyn1114, @alienelvisobsession, @xanatenshi, @peskybedtime,

@peaceloveelvis, and @tacozebra051.

[frankenwolf1564]

Transformers ONE Optimus Prime and Megatron: ONE shall stand, ONE shall fall

Trying another little something this week, kind of a blend between a photo gallery and a full review. Not as in depth or with as much background as a full review but more complex than my notes on a gallery. Hasbro Deluxes are like… the default transformer toy? So there’s usually nothing exceptional to say about what the actual figure can do. “It has a waist swivel, it has a bicep swivel, it has an ankle tilt.” Standards have risen substantially over the past, like, decade, especially post Siege, so while there are standouts, the context of a toy will usually be a meatier discussion. I’ll still mention accessories and stuff but I’m not going over every point of articulation.

Starting with Optimus, he’s a fine little lad! He’s on the smaller end of the deluxe scale, not quite mini-bot, but close. That might be a bit small for some people’s taste, but it does leave him as the perfect size to work as cogged Orion Pax, especially when stood next to the Studio Series Optimus. It helps that most of the elements that distinctly denote him as “Optimus” are his accessories. The smokestacks can unpeg, the axe is completely optional, and the matrix isn’t even visible tucked away behind his thinner, opaque chest window. Nearly everything else that feels like Prime is just from the two forms looking fairly similar. The biggest thing that’s baked in is his face, which is molded with the classic mouth plate. Given the scale and some of the styling at play, he works wonderfully as the Autobot Leaders younger self. I’d even be willing to look past the SS’ weird color choices and get him too if it weren’t for something we’ll get into later.

Rounding out Orion, he’s a little lacking in articulation thanks to his slightly lower price point, with no ankle tilt and slight clearance issues in his arms, but you can still get him into a wide range of poses, no problem. It might just take a little more balancing. I love how the fingers are sculpted into the axe. It’s close to how it works in the film and is just fucking cool, innit? Optimus feels incomplete without an Ion Blaster but it’s not a deal breaker. You can use the smokestacks as guns if you really want anyhow, though they are a bit dinky. The axe tucks away neatly on his back, and the matrix is as nicely sculpted as ever. I like the more Prime styled handles, though they are mostly just to let him hold it.

His truck mode is cute. It rolls fine and does the job. I said Deluxes don’t have much to talk about when it comes to what they can do.

Moving on to Megatron, he’s similarly splendid! Like SS ONE Prime his colors are a bit off, having used an off grey compared to the movies shiny silver, but it’s much more at home on Megatron, and it doesn’t look like it’s just yellowing, either. The rest of him looks great anyhow! He’s well sculpted and the muted red pairs nicely. It’s a great rendition of the character but… that fusion cannon is seriously hurting selling him as Megatron. The tri-barreld cannon didn’t have quite as much screen time, but it is a huge visual distinction that clearly sets him apart from just being D-16. The sculpting and such are absolutely that of his final form with the harsher angles, but like Orion and Optimus there isn’t a massive visual shift between the two forms and the cannon isn’t doing him any favors.

He shares many points of articulation with Optimus, with a few improvements and one or two downgrades. He gains a second hinge in his elbows, his wrists swivel, his ankles tilt and his feet can rock, but he can. Not look up. Like at all. His head swivels just fine, and he can look down, thanks to the transformation, but that one thing really hinders what you can do with him. You’re forced to stick with more static poses unless you want him looking at the ground all the time. Or at least. I was.

The tank mode is fun! There’s also more to talk about here so- Nothing’s coming undone once it’s all pegged together and it’s a dead ringer for what we see in the film. It’s definitely one of my favorite tank Megatrons in recent years and in general. The turret is just “alright” though. The swivel is located above the hinge so it’s hard to point it up in any one direction other than straight forward and have it look natural. It also unpegs a tad easily…

Megatron has a couple things that could have used a little more work, but they’d probably require bumping him up a size class to get more parts. Things like the head, maybe his shoulders and hips, a few minor bits that we’ve seen done better elsewhere. He could have easily gotten the triple barrel cannon as well. I really like him at this size though? I wouldn’t want him any bigger, and none of those things are a deal breaker. All of this comes with zero kibble, too. Honestly my biggest complaint is that there isn’t a mainline Deluxe version of him. I’d have gladly gotten both Orion Pax and D-16 and Optimus Prime and Megatron, but they didn’t release a Prime Changers D-16. I have no reason to also get the SS Optimus, as I’m happy with the Prime Changers and that doesn’t have a direct Decepticon counterpart, so the whole set would forever be incomplete. Hasbro I want to give you my money please-

[msfbgraves]

I went down the wormhole of Cuba and Bis Teddy Bear and I can’t function normally now. This play ate my brain and regurgitated it into pulp. OMG. Just the dynamics between Teddy and Cuba as played by Ralph and Robert. WHY WASN’T THIS FILMED AND RELEASED TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC???? It could have been a historic and national American treasure by now!!! 😭

And omg. RALPH AS TEDDY. Those pictures are killing be. The fluffy, messy hair! The doe-eyes!! The pouty mouth!!! The messy clothes and that red sweatshirt!!!! THEY LET HIM GO ON STAGE LIKE THIS IN PUBLIC??? He looks so pretty and sweet and cuddly it almost hurts.

This is definitely a Top Tier Look for him in my opinion. I think it just might be my all time favorite. Not to exaggerate but he looks like an angel here. Insane how pretty he is, and how that haircut suits him.

Don't worry, Nonnie, you'll be almost back to normal in a year, tops. And cuddly, you say? May I present this:

I saw this picture on Instagram and I am not the best at sharpening the quality of these things but of course I was looking at Ralphie and it seems like the hand on his left shoulder is in fact not De Niro's. Someone else behind him seems to have wanted to get a lil squeeze in, too. He's just so... so...

Also the play itself. Yeah, I recognise the feeling. Why wasn't it released? There's a film script in existence that, according to Ralph, De Niro had written. Imagine, there could have been a special edition dvd somewhere in a different timeline....! There could have been an HBO special! But no. We don't even have an in depth interview with Ralphie himself. That's part of the weird charm, though. There's a recording in New York that has not yet been digitized in the NY public library. There's an Italian remake. There's pictures. There's a play about the experience of being in this play as De Niro's understudy. I am not making this up. There's a quote for Ralphie's book from De Niro that he was a hard worker whom he had a connection with they could build on. There's some interviews with writer Rei Povod. The writer's cousin is on Instagram. There's a retrospecitive on the production, and a few reviews. It makes it all so otherworldly! Like it only half existed. There's fanfic. There's Ralph telling Xolo and Jacob that he called them personally to welcome them to Cobra Kai because De Niro called him personally and Bob de Niro barely talks on the phone, or at all. There's the most beautiful young Ralphie has ever looked.

There's something about it that's so very special and alluring and mysterious.