#idk. is this anything? is it coherent?
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it's a curse to be replaying through honkai even if i haven't actually finished part 1 in its entirety ( /_\)
I still really wonder why they decided to reuse certain characters over and over again - the way they decided to reuse Sakura between Previous Era and then Yae Village, and then decided to use Himeko (or well idk if her name was Himeko) in both Previous Era and present time.
But I do love that both cases I'm seeing, both characters are trapped to fate some way or another. I went off about Sakura before, but I didn't realize that the Vermillion Knight battlesuit is supposed to replicate the Herrscher of Fire -- the Herrscher that possesses Previous Era Himeko. Just something about something from Previous Era carrying on into present time.
While Sakura's story ends more in tragedy, and well so does Himeko's, I kinda like the idea that contrast to her time as the Herrscher of Fire that brought about destruction, she uses a similar power to protect and save her student and give her student a chance to live out a better life.
It adds a lot more to her words: "You can still end this story the way you want."
Just like how in this life, Himeko chose to use that power of destruction to save, Kiana can use those powers of the Herrscher to protect as well.
#hi sorry im talking out of my ass im just Sad lol#idk. is this anything? is it coherent?#this is so painful because iwas also playing through sakuras story in ch 12 AGAIN BECAUSE I APPARENTLY WANTED TO BE SAD ABOUT SAKURA AGAIN#so back to back with the 'cycle of pain'#i kinda wish i knew more about what happened with previous era himeko outside of divine key which doesnt really tell me much of anything#aside from she was mentor to hua ; - ;#WHICH REMINDS ME WHEN HUA WAS LIKE 'MAY WE BE FATED TO MEET IN ANOTHER LIFE'#HUA STOP IM GONNA START CRYING ORZ#avil plays hi3#ok but its been very fun replaying through hi3#but. i realize while im playing like#it really is such a wild ride because i would remember major plot points#but i wouldnt remember the bridge between#and then i go ??? wait howd we get from point a to point b?#ah..... anyways#i love honkai impact it makes me happy (im in so much suffering)
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you make art put on a skirt for the halloween party.
one that’s white and frilly and just barely covering him up; one that makes him compulsively pull down on the bottom of it to conceal himself everytime he has to talk to someone. fumbling with his red solo cup as he prays that whoever he’s in conversation with thinks it’s a joke.
and people do.
when you two walk through the front door of the house party, all of his fellow tennis players burst into laughter and rush up to him. they clap him on the back and tug on his pearl-covered corset. they put their hands all over his body; someone even manages to give him a playful slap on his ass. he feels like a piece of meat.
art’s dressed as an angel, while you’re dressed as the devil. fitting, he had thought when you helped him with his thigh-highs. he didn’t want to admit that you encouraging forcing him to dress so.. femininely.. made him feel hot under the collar. not to mention the grabby touches from his stanford tennis team buddies. it was all too much.
so the night goes on, and he sticks close to your side. one hand holding yours nearly 24/7 so he doesn’t lose you.
he gets more laughs here and there when new people arrive and see his costume. they, like everyone else, assume it’s some sort of gag he’s doing. or, at the very least, a humiliation ritual that you’re subjecting him to for some reason. art drinks cupful and cupful of the nasty, syrupy party punch to dull the weird warmth brewing in the pit of his stomach.
the party dies down and art is wasted.
like, completely gone.
while you’re in the middle of a heated debate with one of your friends about whether or not the guy she’s dating is worthy of approval, art presses his hips into the back of your body and mouths at your neck. it’s slow and a little sloppy, and then you realize you have to be on caretaker duty for the rest of the evening.
but then he kisses your jaw with more intention, his hips absentmindedly rolling against you from behind. you pull him away by his wrist before your friend has a chance to realize what he’s doing.
you drag him into the bathroom and shut the door, turning to look at him. he looks like a drunk college chick. costume slipping, tights somehow ripped, cheeks flushed, hair messed up in the most slutty way. and he’s managed to lose his halo headband somewhere.
he pushes you backwards to the toilet and you ungracefully fall back onto the toilet seat cover with a hard thump. you frown up at him and shake your head.
“art,” you hum, “babe, youre- god, when did you drink so much? i don’t even—“
he cuts you off by slowly climbing into your lap. his skirt rides up his thighs, milky skin being revealed as the fabric lifts. he whimpers.
“please..”
your hands instinctively come up to his waist, cupping it and playing with the dangling string holding together the back of his top. he shivers and blinks slowly.
“i.. i jus’ want you to touch me,” he breathes out, slurring the whole way, “please touch me..”
he takes one of your wrists and guides your hand up his skirt. you’re surprised when you feel how fucking hard he is inside the lacy panties you tucked his cock into before you both left for the night.
“im so fucking horny,” he gasps, “i don’t know.. dunno why ‘m so.. im leaking already, please-“
you grope him over the fabric and he keens, his chest falling forward to press against yours before he swallows thickly and his jaw goes slack. you feel him throbbing in your palm.
he turns his head so that his lips are right by your ear, and then one of his arms reaches around to wrap around your lower back. his blonde curls are starting to stick to his forehead.
“please… please jus’ play with me…”
he cums over your fingers after just ten strokes.
you make him walk home with you as the remnants of it drips down his thighs.
#🩷 - thirsts#mmm objectification AND feminization#is this anything#i don’t know#it’s basically my stream of consciousness idk if it’s coherent lmao#art donaldson smut#art donaldson x reader
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captioners you are so valid
#dimension 20#d20#mentopolis#brennan lee mulligan#i curse d20 for making me realize idk how the fuck ppl edit without paying for editing software#the last time i did one of these i somehow used ms paint in the process and its a fucking miracle it became anything coherant#this was created via google photos on my phone so maybe we're getting somewhere idfk someone send help#this took so long I COULD HAVE FINISHED THE EP BY NOW. ashamed to be the age i am but so inept at technology#lowkey hate that my phone has more photo editing features than my laptop smh
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ok but the difference between the S1 and S2 Blu-rays!!!!!!
The S2 Blu-ray features Loki mostly alone, which is how he feels in this season. He's been taken from his life, and he can't go back. On the cover, he stands with Sylvie, someone who helped him understand himself better. On the back, he's with Miss Minutes, and there's an uneasiness to it that is influenced by the foreboding windows of the citadel and the slanted angle of the composition. He's pictured alone on the inside of the steel book, and he's not even on the discs, Miss Minutes is!
Whereas in the S2 art, Loki's power fills the entire cover and Mobius is right there with him. Mobius is illuminated with green light, and Loki is lit up with orange (lokius colour theory truthers rise!) The inside is a photo of Loki and all of his friends. They're also pictured on the back. The discs are even art of him and Mobius rather than Miss Minutes. It just really solidifies what relationships are important this season.
idk i'm just rambling here but the s2 art is just so pretty!!!! Loki is with all of his friends, he's no longer alone. He was able to become so powerful because he did it for them.
#sorry i cant think of how to word this better. i haven't analysed anything since i left school lol#idk anyone that's smarter than me pls add your thoughts in a more coherent way#rambles#lokius#we win again lokius legion
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I tried to give myself a little break from writing because I thought that's what I needed, but turns out the writing is load-bearing at this point. what I really needed was a break from writing stuff that I ever intend to polish up and show anyone. tapping out random comfort daydreams full of square brackets and 0 context is vitally necessary in fact
#talking#a while ago i was telling my therapist how i just can't do any kind of journaling even though i know it'd be good for me#and they were like hm but you've told me you feel like you understand yourself and what you're feeling better after you write fiction#so maybe that's your version of journaling#and I'm still very !! about this#I'm also mulling over a bunch of stuff idk how to put into words yet about like#the idea that writing should always be about Improvement#and that it's somehow a failure to have and start a bunch of ideas you never actually do anything with#vs that thing of like. creating as just a thing people do. like how birds sing#i have no coherent conclusions but the thoughts are sloshing around in my head like a washing machine you know
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...the 'almond room' thing in the unwanted guest IS a reference to/play on words on amygdala, right? (amygdala comes from the greek word for almond!) I didn't read that wrong? it is stupid sexy Ianthe coyly inviting Palamedes into a different chamber of her brain, as it were?
(also the pieces of meat -- the feeding or kissing, it's hard to say which of it all -- being present right from the beginning... ianthe DOES know exactly what has happened to her, doesn't she. palamedes is just cutting his way through her layers of denial and repression all merciless and scalpel-like to get her to admit it. or, she knows subconsciously at least -- each person comes in and feeds her something that she's helpless to stop from becoming a part of her even in her coffin, with bloody kisses. oh baby love is feeding me bad meat and I have no choice but to swallow it down. like yeah I suspect that is how human contact can feel when your sense of self and boundaries developed to be a specific kind of Fucked Up lol. that shit could make a person dream of being a diamond in a glass of wine; perfect, inviolable, untouchable, eternally separate and safe. In the words of Andrea Gibson in Prism:
They say the womb is where we learn love is knowing the cord that feeds you could at any moment wrap around your neck
that is quite literally ianthe's first introduction to love -- her sister, a cord around her neck. Corona is Ianthe's other self, a second soul running around outside of her body, and she seems to consider herself as responsible for (and entitled to) the preservation of Corona's soul as her own. the way this mirrors that growing up, Ianthe had to be two necromancers in one body to let them stay together. (twins and ghosts all the way down I guess.) she's still just trying to do the same thing, I think, she's simply put on some bigger boots about it. the central problem of lyctorhood, self vs. connection/love, rears its head once again -- Ianthe existentially wants total self-contained self-sufficiency, perfect control, sovereign sway and masterdom over her soul... but she wants that at the same time as being in uninterrupted (uninterruptible!), eternal and indelible intimacy with her sister, whose soul also cannot be allowed to change. which, you know. freedom and love don't coexist the way you want them to, Ianthe, no matter how clever you are there won't be a way to get what you want. (especially not with a sister whose idea of what love is seems to go more towards being consumed, made one, by whatever violence necessary -- 'she could have taken me'.) man. Ianthe is a spectacular and ongoing piece of work, but sometimes it's hard to see how she could ever have turned out otherwise considering the conditions she was born and raised under haha.
the two-way street of the horror of digestion, whether you're the devourer or the devouree. part of you in me, part of me in you, whether either of us likes it or not we're both changed by this. bad news: you can't get out of interconnectedness by finding the cleverest loophole around it, ianthe. nice try, though)
#the unwanted guest#the locked tomb#ianthe tridentarius#re: the amygdala thing -- that's what I thought when I first read it but I was listening to a podcast that didn't mention anything about it#and now I'm gently double-guessing myself harrow style haha#I think the greek word also means tonsil (thus the tonsil stones in bloodborne)?#the amygdala does a lot of shit around emotions and emotional processing which like. ok interesting ianthe wtf!#god. what a weird day it's been. you think you're at rock bottom and then you're having wild unhinged thoughts about ianthe tridentarius#my brain feels like it's filled with stinging nettles idk if this is even coherent. but I need it out of my neurons lol#the locked tomb meta#I could not recommend 'prism' enough btw it's a beautiful poem and has a lot of the same themes as tlt!
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does it look okay? i cant tell anymore
anyway nace jordan
#nace jordan#joker out#joker out fanart#2024#i dont think i can articulate my thoughts coherently so ramblings in the tags it is (sorry)#im so frustrated rn#im searching for something and i cant find it#im trying new things but it doesnt seem to work 4 me and im angy#really tried to make this purple but nope! its yellow green red again#why am i like this#ik its just a plateau and its normal and i just have to ride it out but rrraaaahhhhh#it was v dumb to think i found my voice#and i was happy with my art#now i dont like anything i do (but my old stuff looks decent to me so idk)#frustrated is the word
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I need continuous musings and discourse about the Hunger Games or my life feels so boring. Please keep posting and tagging, you’re all so smart and insightful and interesting
(Honestly, if you read the books for school, absolutely just post your essays I want to read them aaaaall)
#idk why I am obsessed#I needed people to say new thingsssss#meanwhile I can’t put coherent thoughts together. maybe give me a prompt. make this like high school#tell me your favourite parts and why#tell me what parts devastated you#tell me why two things are related somehow#psychoanalyze your favourite character#ANYTHING#I will read it all#tumblr keeps showing me repeat posts now lol tell me about the books through the lens of who you are#the hunger games#everlark#Katniss Everdeen#Peeta mellark#catching fire#mockingjay#tbosas#hunger games#thg#sunrise on the reaping
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something something what if brozone was called on to represent the boy band subgenre of pop in trolls world tour something something
#is this anything#like remember the kpop trolls and yodelers and reggaeton trolls and that jazz guy#i just rewatched the kpop vs reggaeton clip and it reminded me of the boy band choreography in TBT#and i was like huh. what if boy bands counted as a separate genre of music and what if barb called on them as bounty hunters#idk if this is interesting or coherent i just thought it was a neat idea to consider#trolls#dreamworks trolls#brozone#trolls poppy#trolls branch#trolls brozone#trolls john dory#trolls clay#trolls bruce#trolls floyd#trolls 2#trolls band together#trolls 3#trolls world tour#trolls barb
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I was kinda expecting the "Lilia was in love with Meleanor," but then TWST went even further and hit us with the "he was also in love with Levan (more or less)" and the "of course he would learn to love Malleus, he was created by the only two people Lilia had already loved" and I feel insane???
also there's something about Lilia saying "I don't know what it is like to love someone" and then proceeding to demonstrate the extent of "on purpose, I will love you on purpose" with both Malleus (the son of those he loved) and Silver (the son of his enemy)
#twisted wonderland#twst#twst jp#twst spoilers#Diasomnia spoilers#Diasomnia Chapter spoilers#okay they do not explicitly say 'Lilia was in love *with* Levan' but they DO say he LOVED HIM#and no they did not say anything like 'yeah he loved him *as a brother*'#Meleanor compared them to a married couple. So there's that.#the fact that he was an orphan and said he didn't know about parental love. and then proceeded to raise TWO sons. I'm unwell#kay shouts into the void#is this coherent idk I haven't slept
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Like they just did that and moved on
#i know they werent the point of the story/other things were going on (al) BUT OMFG#like WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE JUST WENT AND DID THAT?? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY MEANT EVERYTHING TO HIM???#“oh. ive had enough. yeah. thats all i really need. they gave me everything i could want. hehe. thank you. and goodbye. my friends”#ASDFGHJKL?!?!?!?!??!?!#sorry i cant be coherent about this please understand what im trying to say#“i want the world” “no you want friends” “shit ur right. guess ill die” “okay cool ill yell ur name and then never be sad about it”#do not misunderstand me i absolutely love them i adore them but like do you see what im trying to say#also in the sub (the one i watched at least. idk if they differ between platforms) he says#“enough... yeah. thats enough. i dont need anything more. see you later. my soul... friends”#OUGH#FUCK#thank goodness for fanfiction yknow. i need them in grief and pain but also i need him to live yknow#fmab spoilers#fmab#fullmetal alchemist brotherhood#greed the avaricious#greedling#ling yao#edward elric#im so not okay about them istg#moss' madness
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thinking about. i dont know how to phrase this really but. chloe and frank.
like. when Chloe killed Frank i (, personally,) feel like her guilt from it was less because she killed Frank, and More because she Killed Someone (and their dog).
but!!! thats not to say she didnt feel guilty for killing Frank. because she definitely did. because on some level. despite everything. despite all of his shitty behavior. a part of her still cared for him. that tiny 15-17ish year old part in her still cared for him.
because that 15-17ish year old with intense abandonment issues in her only had. a small handful of people in her life that actually cared for her, and when THOSE few people aren’t even doing the best job at it— it’s no shit that Chloe’s standards for Good Friends are going to be Immensely dropped.
and so. it’s kind of like what happened with Rachel, but WAY less intense. when she found someone who didn’t hate her, and was willing to hang around her—after so so long of people hating her and not wanting to be around her— it makes sense that part of her would kinda latch onto them a little bit.
and so, even after all of the shit she’s learned he did— even when Frank starts to hate her— even when he threatens Max and her’s lives— part of her keeps remembering him as one of the few guys who stuck around when no one else did.
it’s just that. no matter how bad the person— if you’ve known someone for years, and they were one of the only nice people to you in a town where theres like. four people that are nice to you— it’s gonna hurt if you kill them. even if it was self defense. even if it was entirely their own fault— even if you two aren’t on even remotely good terms anymore.
ESPECIALLY for such a sentimental person like Chloe. taking that in consideration it makes me wonder. maybe she didn’t feel bad for killing Frank. maybe she felt bad for killing the person Frank used to be to her. but maybe she realized that That Frank already died long ago.
but yeah. im mentally ill. take everything i said with a grain of salt considering it is 12:07 AM.
#my thoughts are a mixture of coherentness but also just enough of radio static that i cant write much of it out Correctly#but anyways dont you think it’s a little fucked that.#and maybe im reading it wrong but#like.#she really wanted to be friends with him in bts#she was really put that position#god idk#feel free to discuss about the whole. “chloe felt bad for killing Somebody not just frank” thing. that’s not something im 100% set in stone#with LOL. im open to other interpretations of it#that isnt to say the rest of this isnt open to discussion— but that part In Particular is#this post is mostly about how “frank was chloes friend” more than anything#it’s about how. out of the entire town. the shitty drug dealer is one of the guys who gives an actual shit about her#and about how. something happened in between BTS and LIS to make them hate eachother#like YES the 5000 dollar debt but that just CANT be it can it? was it rachel’s disappearance that destroyed them?#or did frank start declining after the whole dameon thing??? WHAT CHANGED THEM…..#anyways im sure im not the first to think of this and im ready to hear other peoples opinions on it#SCREAMING AND CRYING BC CHLOE IS LITERALLY SUCH A GOOD CHARACTER BUT PEOPLE ARE TOO MISOGYNISTIC TO SEE IT RAHGDHSGSHGA#if i had a nickel for every time i said “even” “despite” or “because” in this post i’d be rich#life is strange is a game about tragedy. and. misogyny.#ALSO TAKE IN CONSIDERATION. if u read this far.#that chloe likely met frank Before she was Really Truly convinced that there was zero hope for her to find somebody who cared for her#so it took a lot less effort for someone like frank to leave an imprint on chloe atp of her life.#and also partly why it was So Much More intense with rachel#hoping to god this is coherent#lis#life is strange#chloe price#frank bowers#rachel amber#…. i really doubt it will happen
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okay last one. au where nothing goes wrong at all ever (a lie) and melia venam gay moment
#i like this game a normal amount (also a lie)#everyone should play now do it now please#pokemon rejuvenation#oh another thing about twitter. makes me sad i cant yell about things in the tags there like i always do because there are no tags there#if i wanted to id have to make it into a thread and im pretty sure people read those. so awful#i mean not that i say anything worthwhile here usually but still. no one reads this here. i could yell my thoughts if i had any#anyways about the au :] i have no idea how it would work#i have no thoughts ever at all i was just replaying the game and the one little line melia says at the picnic made me sad#the one where she says its her last day in gearen and asks the player to go with her to gdc#and then she just goes ah nevermind that was weird of me to ask#and no… wait come back… id love to go to gdc with you�� :[#and thats where that idea came from. idk where the rest of it came from though i think ive been cursed or somethinv#and also something something her saying shes afraid to go to gdc alone only for her to end up in the past also alone sometging something. ow#my thoughts are very coherent i promise (no they arent)
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Prime really is the Rickest Rick, not because he ‘doesn’t care’ or anything like that, but because his wife told him she’d been faking orgasms for the entire duration of their relationship and his response was to literally invent interdimensional travel to run away from her and then erase her from existence entirely rather than improve his tongue game
#rick and morty#rnm#rick and morty spoilers#rnm spoilers#unmortricken#rick sanchez#rick prime#diane sanchez#this is my takeaway from the pussy joke#in my defence i just made a serious post about prime so i think i deserve a little shitposting#as a treat#also idk if 'tongue game' means anything coherent#i'm too autistic to know how slang works and too stubborn to learn#rick really is the most pathetic man of all time#(affectionate)
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due to being both aromantic and aplatonic i feel pretty "eh" to both concepts of friendships and relationships/couples in media (and in real life too but i'm more. discreet about it) which makes interacting with fandom works and such.. pretty frustrating at times
im more averse to romance in real life than in fiction ill have to admit, like, most ships i don't mind. im still more able to engage in shipping in my free time, but that might be because, like, when i ship characters i don't really... do it in a romantic sense i just mash them together, i like deeper bonds/relations/connections like that, and "ship" is a pretty easy term to apply to it as and kinda accurate, i don't know, hard to explain. but when theyre depicted to do traditionally romantic things together or just put emphasis on looooove and go all dovey-eyes in fanart then i must leave. i had enough i have assessed the situation and im leaving
but. i also don't like friendships in fanworks. which sucks so much because this is what, like, most other people that don't like romance gravitate to too!! and they put.. so much, like, moral stuff into liking it too like, saying that if you dont appreciate platonic relationships enough then that means allonormativity rotted your brain or something. many other aro & non-aplatonic people just go "romantic ships are so overdone so heres more art and works where characters are just allowed to stay friends, maybe even friendships are just superior anyway" and like i am happy for you don't get me wrong go enjoy what you like but.... friendships just always make me go "ewww". and unfortunately i cannot just choose not to see it either, platonic relationships are never tagged or anything except on ao3 or something. a lot of media/content (god i hate that term for fanworks..) by aros for aros just focuses on platonic love & relationships instead and sorry i cannot relate and the growler feels a bit alienated. not many people even know that aplatonic people exist anyway and if they do then they dont have the best opinion of us.
so like, god i hate clarifying this i feel like it goes without saying but whatever i don't want to get accused of hurting peoples feelings by saying this: i am not saying to stop making fanfics of platonic relationships or that if you like friends in fiction then i think ur lame or something. im just saying that this is one part of fandom i just, cannot really like. not just fandom either. friendships are everywhere i swear and there is no way for me to avoid those either, and if i ever voice that it repulses me, i get treated like a freak even by spaces that are supposedly aroace & sex/romance-repulsed friendly and yeah it kinda sucks .
anyway friendships are overrated i don't want friends i want evil advisors, loyal goons and homoerotic rivals and fucked up hero-villain and whumper-whumpee pairs and even more fucked up guys with their fates forever entwined and bonded for life close in the way rats tied at their tails are even as they desperately pull and scratch and bite to get away is that too much to ask
#mine#i bring that sort of ''platonic ships are also perfectly capable of making apl/arospec folk uncomfortable'' vibe to fandom#that other aros dont really like for some reason#respect aplatonics and loveless people or face my blade!!!!#aromantic#aplatonic#apl#loveless aro#idk how coherent any of this is as always. im going to just always put that disclaimer on anything i ever wrote thats long enough
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i have yet another fic idea that i may or may not ever write but i'm tired and don't feel like being articulate so i'm just going to describe it as the body keeps the score + season 1 body swap = me finding new and inventive ways for people to find out about jamie's trauma
#way back in the days of yore (2012) i read this avengers bodyswap fic where one of the main conflicts#was that tony and bruce had all their knowledge but not the intellect to do anything with it#and whoever ended up in their bodies was overwhelmed by the way that they processed things#anyway someone ends up in jamie's body and inherits the trauma responses#also roy gets some extremely unwelcome perspective on how fucked up his knee has become#and idk. comedy c-plot where colin ends up in sam's body and keeps whacking his head on stuff bc he's not used to being tall#this makes sense in my brain but idk if i actually managed to express it coherently#ted lasso#jamie tartt#kvetch oc
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