#idk. i'll think about it tonight.
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i’m debating on remaking this blog, someone should stop me —
#✯ — нorѕeѕ ιn тнe вacĸ × [ ooc ]#i just —#thought about it the other day.#like...everything's just so#old and cluttered.#my tag system is horrendous — i can never find shit that i need when i need it.#i've got like#six different post / icon / tag styles going on from over...#3 YEARS of writing here.#i've got almost 600 followers but i can promise you — probably half of them are inactive...#idk. i'll think about it tonight.#we'll see.#i'll be around for the rest of the day — promised some apex with a friend but other than that#you can catch me on discord.#tbd
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Finally, working on custom tattoos for Wednesday - 40% done?
#TBD#I am just not sure how tatted I#want her to be#like I was looking at my last edit and was like Amelia#has about as many as Nes but hers are scattered#In my head Nes is more into in like body mods but when#you actually look at her expect piercings that's not really true#so we're fixing it!#Hopefully when I get home from the newsroom I can#finish these up if I don't finish them tonight#I think I might have some time this week to work on a story#post#that would be nice ;-;#Only really had time for edits there last couple weeks#I'll be excited to post these when they're finished!#Should update Amelia's as well#I want to do a post where I can like share more about the girls#and there background#but idk what do to do that ;-;#intramoon
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[Summarised image description: Three-part edit compiling manga panels of Hanabusa, Yoite and Miharu from Nabari no Ou. A text post has been split into several parts and scattered across the images. The first part reads, "don't be a stranger!" The rest is in brackets and reads, "please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving. please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it." End description]
don't be a stranger!
(detailed image description below the cut)
Detailed image description. Panels in each image listed after the text included in that image.
Image 1: "don't be a stranger!" Two panels of Hanabusa grinning widely. Yoite jumping a bit as Hanabusa holds his hands. Miharu and Yoite blushing in Hanabusa's embrace. Miharu and Yoite sitting together on a couch, while Hanabusa looks on across from them.
Image 2: "(please linger near the door uncomfortably instead of just leaving." Hanabusa catching Miharu and Yoite by surprise outside her house. Hanabusa placing her hand on Yoite's cheek. Yoite raising an eyebrow as Hanabusa reaches for his hand. Hanabusa hugging both Miharu and Yoite on the ground outside. Hanabusa putting her hands on Miharu and Yoite's shoulders each. Hanabusa handing over Yoite's black coat to him. Hanabusa and Yoite hugging each other.
Image 3: "please forget your scarf in my life and come back later for it)." Hanabusa knitting a scarf. Yoite's gloved hand holding a scarf. Yoite looking down at his scarf he's holding. Hanabusa looking surprised while holding Yoite's hat. Miharu taking off his scarf as he stands face to face with Yoite. Miharu reaching up to wrap that scarf around Yoite's neck.
#feeling so so normal about these three tonight#need a tag for them too. its a little long but i'm thinking maybe#anyone who drinks tea in my house is a special person to me#or maybe#you two come back together alright?#i'll always welcome you#IDK this is not important . anyway i am going through it#nno spoilers#nabari no ou#.txt#weaving it's just weaving tbh. but sure just to tag it as smth ->#web weaving
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wips under the cut!
more fujio rock designs are on the way. :3c
#i'm getting too sleepy to keep working on this tonight so pls enjoy the wip for now#i can't stop thinking about homura being an idol in this au i needed to make it a reality#there's a part of me that wants to make her join rotten flower after the shit i'm thinking of w/ her goes down but idk... 🤔#i do think them snatching her up bc she's a surprisingly good screamo vocalist would be very fun...#i'll sleep on it we'll see#mj wips
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The gods are punishing me by putting me in a unbeatable demonic trial against satan (there's a big spider in my room)
#guess who's not sleeping tonight :)))))#scary#saw goth people talking about how goths love spiders because they are hated and feared#sorry guys i'll never be goth bc i have phobia#now bc of the big spider i feel spiders everywhere on my skin and hair and i see spiders everywhere and please help me why is it so scary#i can't get close to any furniture because i'm terrified to find a spider on it#i don't even dare to look at the walls#i don't even think it's phobia i think i'm just a weakling so imagine people with real phobia like#i'll try to walk to the kitchen and eat but idk if i will have the courage to pass the door
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i hate it in the context of the show and how it shifts politically in the later seasons, and outside of fallen idol it's still framed too perfunctorily, but like in terms of watsonian headcanons there's something a little interesting about hawkeye saluting people as a gesture of respect on occasion
like he chooses a salute to demonstrate sincere respect and humility specifically because he hates it and everyone knows it and it's not just not an automatic gesture for him, it's something he has to internally grit his teeth through.
idk it fits the way i see him as like performative yet sincere. dramatic to demonstrate his feelings in a loud way, rather than to distract from them. what can I do to show my respect? i know, something i'm ideologically opposed to and therefore would never do just because
like a conservationist killing a panda bear to prove they're really serious. well not that dramatic lol but i can't think of a good comparison on the same scale. you know what i mean.
#marley on mash#hawkeye mash#mash#i'll be honest i'm v tired/wired tonight and idk if this makes sense lol but i was thinking about it earlier at work
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I drew too much and now I barely have the motivation to finish any of my sketches, I have so many wips rn in my ibis gallery waiting to be finished
I've mostly been doing small silly doodles and dumb little drawings (if you know you know) and I have a whole checklist of things I want to draw
Been so excited to be here and to draw things that I was pumping out so many drawings a day through pure, unadulterated determination and excitement
I'm glad people like my silly art though even though it'll probably slow down now <3
It means a lot to me and everyone has been so supportive of me and my art
I'm not used to having so much attention on me as I haven't really posted online in roughly 4 years but the support means everything to me, even if everything is a little bit overwhelming for me at times, I know I must sound like a broken record but I really appreciate all the love I've been recieving on my art <3
#wolfgen posting#taleblr#we feelin a lil emotional tonight#idk if anyone will see this cause it's like 1am for me rn but ty guys so much <3#very tired writing this and i know maybe i didn't word things the best but i hope my point came across#i'm so excited to be here and be part of this community#i have so many more things and ideas to share and so many more things i wanna draw#i have so many headcanons i want to talk about too that i could make entire posts for#but!! my brain has been a lil bit mush these past couple days#but that's okay cause i'll definitely be posting more of that kind of thing when i can think properly again#more art and whatnot on the way dw :3
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Dropping 3 episodes at once is such an evil thing to do to gifmakers! Just saying!
(jk I love it)
#yes i'm dutifully downloading and converting files#the most unsung part of making gifs lmao#i watched the first episode in the morning (in a room i couldn't black out which was a mistake!) and then went to work#and i'm about to get off work to finish watching#and then i'll probably rewatch tonight just so i can absorb every dimly lit scene in all its glory#also i think we can all agree that halbrand!sauron is the embodiment of 'if evil why hot'#like#i can't check the tag before finishing watching but i'll be surprised if there aren't a million sets of him come tomorrow and well-deserved#i don't even know where i want to start#also i'll probably be taking requests in the coming weeks#and i'll be using 'rop spoilers' for the really spoiler-y parts bc i know not everyone will be able to watch asap#(idk why i'm doing all this via tag commentary in the year of our lord 2024 but here we are lol)#(also i should probably tell y'all my main so you know when it's me liking posts in this fandom... i'm shy tho so we'll see haha)
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Instant regret
I'm nervous now
#guys is 7 benadryl a lot??#I'll tell you if anything happens tho#i dont think so#but also i take about 15-20 dxm pills when i have them#so im not sure im really the best judge of whats too much#but if i go REALLY silent at any point tonight#im probably hospitalized#or dead in my room idk#jiraiblogging#jiraiblr#jirai#jirai kei#landmine girl#jirai girl#landmineblr#landmineposting#jirai onna#landmineblogging#landmine kei#landmine type#landmine fashion#landmine#lifestyle landmine#lifestyle jirai#drugblr#drugcore#tw drugs#drug blog#can you tell i had nothing better to do tonight?#jirai activities
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#( my art. )#( felt lowkey nervous about#changing my icons but I think I like it ???#idk#feeling iffy but for now I'll leave it as is#tomorrow I'll try to pick up drafts#if not draw#bc I've been itching to doodle hHHH )#( so yeah hoping off for tonight; rest well lovelies!! )#deletelater
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minjoon is a difficult person to faze and even more difficult to scare. because of this, he's never really enjoyed horror games all that much - ones which rely on jumpscares in particular, he's never understood the appeal of. regardless of this, however, he has played some scary games on stream entirely at the request of his chat. he always worries that his reactions are underwhelming and kind of against the point of playing horror games for content, but chat all eat it up - there's something about the way he'll just blink and utter a quiet "ah" or "i didn't expect that" when something startling happens and then continue on with what he was talking about before that a lot of them find very entertaining.
#he's the antithesis of ur average streamer ok and i love that for him#his chat have definitely spammed at him bc he'll sometimes just completely MISS jumpscares or creepy visuals#ahhhh I really wish I could properly describe how I picture his streams bc it's one of those things I'll probably never get to write#bc it's kind of a solitary thing and there's just. not a lot to DO with it in rp#but I can so vividly imagine his demeanour & shit that happens and I wish I could share the vision more easily#idk. anyway. still thinking about him. maybe I'll be able to get myself to poke at some of his asks or smth tonight#❥ 𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐉𝐎𝐎𝐍 、headcanon
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-22F windchill is Pretty Chilly!! But I bundled right up, so I'm okay. My face doesn't like it, though. My lungs, too. Going full turtle mode, hunkering down in my coat collar and exhaling warm air up to keep my face warm. It works! Makes my glasses a condensation hell though. But struggling to see is worth keeping my face from getting frostbite lol. Lungs still don't like it tho.
#speculation nation#done with my first class and since my lab went online this week im headed home for a few hours#might do a little bit more violin practice before i leave for orchestra. just a bit. my fingertips are still kinda sore from yesterday.#but i wanna run thru the stuff i practiced to make sure my fingers remember before orchestra.#and if i have the time i might take a little nap...? not nearly as sleep deprived as i was last thursday but im still a lil sleep deprived#i forgot about my quizzes until i was literally lying in bed so i ended up getting up early to finish those b4 class#and it worked! but it means i got mayb 6 hours of sleep. after getting 6 hours the night before too.#tonight tho. tonight for sure. i'll go to sleep at a reasonable time.#doctor's appointment in the morning tomorrow. bleh. hope there r no problems with my car lol#i might check on her after orchestra today. just to make sure she still starts fine.#i dont Think she'll have problems. but cold weather like this makes me nervous. and i cant afford to be late to this appointment.#so maybe i'll take her on a quick spin today. pick up food or smth idk. just to make sure her battery wont die from the cold or w/e#hrmgh i just really want it to stop being so cold. i miss riding my bike man i hate being stuck riding busses.#sigh. i'll be okay. i'll get thru this. one breath at a time.
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Something seriously lacking in my art is the ability to tell a story in a single illustration.
I've gotten so used to drawing my characters standing around doing random things that I've never practiced telling a full tale/putting implications into my pieces that require more thinking/looking.
It also comes from a lower amount of details in my works by default [since I like to get pieces done fast], but I'm tired of using that as an excuse.
#vent#kinda#sorry I'm just having a rough one tonight but I'll recover lmao#I think the AI art thing is really getting to me cuz like.#Anyone can make pretty images if they study and practice hard enough#[not to detract from people who don't tell stories with their images!]#but something in my brain wants to fight back because AI will never be able to Tell a Story through its images.#It can't make narrative choices through its regurgitation of random elements. It will never tell a cohesive and interesting tale through#detail choice#the worst it can do is create surface-level 'pretty' images by smashing together a bunch of mushed up information#but storytelling? that's human touch#that's intention. Thought. Choices.#and idk it's really bothering me lately that my images almost never... 'say' anything about a character.#this does not apply to anyone else's art I look at#it's just a standard I'm starting to feel my head apply to my own work and nobody else's.#which I'm taking as a sign that this is something I'm unsatisfied with#but the thought of starting to develop a completely new skill like that? terrifyingly daunting.#Sorry for the wall of tags I'm havin' some hella moodswings tonight#happens a lot when I get inspired by art I see#which I'm trying to work on but yaknow#it's a long process#anyways how's your night goin#I'm gonna cheer myself up by eating some amazing asparagus casserole
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just rambling about self diagnosis and my experience with it for a second feel free to ignore
self diagnosis is such an interesting thing to me because. sometimes it is so stigmatized and looked down on, but it's such a vital part in actually getting any diagnosis. some people get lucky and other people notice their symptoms and their struggles and they're able to get a diagnosis without much effort. other people aren't that lucky. other people have mental illnesses or learning disabilities or something else that they will have to seek a diagnosis for. and in order to seek that diagnosis, these people will, to some degree, have to self diagnose first.
and then there are the obvious issues with diagnosis. not everybody is able to seek and afford a diagnosis. diagnoses are not given equally and are very hard to get if you're not a white male. sometimes getting a diagnosis is actually not beneficial to people.
but there is so much pushback against self diagnosis sometimes. and self diagnosis is becoming a more common and commonly accepted thing! but some circles are still so hellbent on official diagnoses. and admittedly, some people will self diagnose without doing proper research. some people may self diagnose because something is "trendy" or seems fun. but ultimately, this is such a small proportion of people who utilize self diagnosis. people who self diagnose, for the most part, are not hurting anybody. they're not taking any resources away. they're not invalidating professional diagnosis. they are doing it to help themselves and make their lives easier.
i am a big advocate for self diagnosis. i think it can really help people improve their quality of life. and it ultimately has no downsides in my eyes. when people are smart and mindful, self diagnosis can be so valuable. even if someone does not currently have a diagnosis, finding a group of people to relate to can be so helpful. while they may not be able to seek professional help and resources, online communities can still help control symptoms and make life better. self diagnosis receives so much pushback sometimes, but it can truly be invaluable to somebody.
#charlie your comment on my other post made me want to make this post#my mental illness has taken a weird turn to the point of other people being able to notice!#people have reached out to my partner and asked if i'm okay. because of how weird i've been acting.#so. idk. i'm trying to get more comfortable in using self diagnosis in a productive and useful way to me!#anyways i'll stop talking about my mental illness tonight i think thanks for sticking with me i guess
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snow storming outside im in my parents house im sitting in my mom's rokcing chair on my laptop suddenly it's march 2022 again and i'm home from college because i got in a car accident and my crippling anxiety worsened and i felt like throwing up if i was two hours away in my college dorm and had no one to rely on and was convinced i would die if i wasn't being supervised at all times of the day. so how are you guys doing
#i don't feel like. anxious or nauseous right now#i just feel like. idk. like i'm 20 again and i'm at my parents house because i don't have anywhere else i feel safe#even tho i do now. i very much do. its just. Weird#snowstorms make me feel weird like i just have like a weird heavy feeling in my chest rn idk what it is#like no one got hurt in the accident it was literally so nothingburger we got a ride back 2 campus in a cop car bc there was a cop nearby#and he got us out of the car really quick and everyone was fine and nothing was bad#so like it's fine. like it wasn't bad. this isn't like trauma or anything it's just me being fucking weird and having hangups abt things#that literally don't matter anymore and i've been thinking about my time in college lately and it was. something#but the wind is bad and i'll be driving tonight and it's like. weirdbadawful feelings#anyway -_- i'm like. fine. it's just weird. bad brain moment#whiskey yelling into the void
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#been feeling very. idk. lonely tonight#theres truly no reason for me to#my friends are. pretty much a text away#as is my lovely partner#normally id worry about him reading this post but the last few weeks he hasnt been looking at my posts much#so im 75% confident they wont see this. and hey. maybe if he does then i'll. like. garner the attention ive been hoping for#but hoping for that make me feel not only like a dick but an abusive manipulator so my hope is he actually wont see this#hes doing stuff with family anyhow so. im hoping he'll just have a nice evening#idk i dont wanna like. drag anyone down into the pits of despair i keep finding myself in despite trying to distract myself pretty constant#idk i think im really only posting cause i feel like im all alone#and i just burned my arm on a candle flame bad enough it singed off my arm hair in a noticeable patch#and im watching the skin the area turn this soft brown color and splinter off like its head dandruff and i just. dont wanna bother anybody#ive run it under cold water btw dont worry im not like. gonna slip into hurting myself again im already so angry that i broke my fuckin#almost a year and a half clean streak back in January and kept at it until like fuckin March#but im gonna stay clean . i am GOING to stay good and clean because im already so fucking angry at myself about a lot right now#and i fuckin. do not need to add broke the stupid fucking clean streak fo hurting myself again to the list i just DONT need that on my plat#idk. im just lonely i guess. im just lonely and feeling horrifically amounts of unlovable#idk. i havent been telling people stuff recently#ive been working on trying to lose weight again recently. didnt eat nothing for 36 hours and had a hypoglycemic attack at school#and scared my fuckin friend doing it#and i havent actually told no one#cause im being GOOD#im being so good with it#im losing the weight im looking better slowly.#and that means that i should be loved again soon that means that that idk#idk#i hope no one fuckin sees this post#i just. dont know where else togo to rant about this stuff.#i wish i wasnt clean at all#i wish i didnt have time built up at all because i want to feel the faux good
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