#idk. i just miss it sometimes. life is so loud all the fucking time and i wish i had been given a choice is all...

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

Honestly I'm eternally grateful for noise cancelling technology, I would probably be in fucking jail without it tbh cus overstimulation is one thing that makes me REEALLY PISSED OFF, but I do wish my earbuds' noise cancelling worked a little?? better??? Like I feel like the headphones I had were more... Like... Complete silence. Not COMPLETELY complete, I could still hear my own Bodily Processes and some louder sounds, but idk they definitely were like... Stronger than this. I could still use them I suppose, I would just have to charge them, but they just aren't very comfortable to wear for longer periods of time, especially with it being hot out

Sometimes I just want silence ykno? Just complete silence. Not even hearing myself, or my breathing or chewing or WHATEVER, just total... Nothing. Just sometimes.

[99woez]

don't talk about it ᰔᩚ j.sc

warnings. smut, best friend!sungchan, roommate!sungchan, arguing, it's a dumb argument but you are fighting this man, physical fighting, just shoving nothing crazy but a physical altercation starts this all, unprotected sex, hair pulling, some angst? idk if i missed something let me know! i also did not proofread this because i got out 5k words in one night which is crazy for me. anyways, enjoy!

wc. 5k

summary. your best friend embarrasses you in front of your campus crush. so, of course, you decide to fight with him in the living room and learn some interesting things about him in the process.

Sungchan had always been stupidly large, in your opinion.

He was so large that you couldn’t resist the urge to playfully test his strength, curious to see how his fit frame would react to your playful jabs or if he would sway with a gentle nudge. He would playfully push you back, never with full force, but these light-hearted scuffles became a regular part of your friendship. It was a source of joy, a shared silliness, it meant everything.

Except for the times it did.

“You’re so stupid sometimes, oh my god!” You shouted at your so-called “best friend,” shoving hard into his chest. This shove wasn’t like the ones you usually gave him. This one was harsh and mean. There was not a semblance of anything alluding to happiness on your face as you looked up at Sungchan with knitted brows and parted lips, shoving hard into his firm chest once again, this time with a shout of frustration.

If we’re being honest, you two have been drinking. It’s not like you’re shitfaced and neither is he, but the alcohol is just enough to make the world blurry at the edges and your words harsher than you typically allow them to be. His chest, solid as a boulder beneath your pushing palms, doesn't yield like it usually would during your fond roughhousing. He stands firm, his expression teetering between annoyance and worry.

"Stop it," he gruffly says, grabbing your wrists mid-shove. Just like that, the playful laughter that usually echoes between you two gets choked in the tension-filled silence. You try to yank your hands-free, but his grip is firm yet gentle. He was never rough with you, even when the fights turned serious like this. It was a rarity for things to turn nasty, but sometimes Sungchan was so oblivious you couldn’t stop yourself from lashing out at him, especially with a few mixed drinks in your system.

“Let go,” You snapped. Sungchan leans in with a tilt of his head, letting out a “Hm?” as he does so, challenging you.

“Chill out first.” That did the exact opposite of chill you out. You hated it when he took that tone of voice with you, as if you were some child that needed to be put into a timeout. 

There were many things you loved about Sungchan: His kindness, his dedication to anything he sets his mind to, his eyes, you loved a lot about Sungchan, but there were many things you couldn’t stand about him. He was oblivious to the simplest of social cues, he got loud when he was drunk, and the way he comforted people was an absolute joke. If you hadn’t known him for more than half your life and shared an apartment with him, you would’ve ditched him when you two graduated high school.

But you didn’t. Now, you’re stuck with a big, dumb roommate who loves telling the men you like that you like them. God, Wonbin was never going to talk to you again after the scene Sungchan caused trying to get him to give you his number. You still can feel the embarrassment hot in your veins, making you lurch forward and finally give his chest a shove that makes him stumble a few steps.

“I won’t chill out! I won’t! What you did was fucking rude!” You yelled, pointing a finger in his face to punctuate your words and get your point across. Sungchan scoffed, turning his head away from you, but you could see his tongue press against the inside of his cheek, making the skin push out slightly. It was a habit of his you had noticed when you two went to parties together in college. It’s what he does when he’s annoyed and holding himself back, beating someone’s ass. It’s a rare occasion for Sungchan to beat someone’s ass, but when it did happen, it was always deserved. Typically, it would be a drunk guy who wanted to buck up to the biggest guy at the party, a one-sided battle of masculinity that Sungchan always won, no matter who came up to him. You’ve only seen Sungchan throw a punch twice in your entire friendship.

Once, when you were in high school, and the last time was at a party during your junior year of college when a man put his hands on you despite you telling him to fuck off. The other times, he had simply told you about when you’d see him in the kitchen with littered bruises on his body. You think about that night more often than you’d like to admit. Sungchan didn’t hesitate to throw a punch for you, knocking the man clean out by the time he was done with him. It lit a fire in you that you’re not proud to admit. There was just something in his eyes that rubbed your brain right. You would never admit it, but were desperate to see that look again. You wanted to see him angry, to watch him lose control no matter how fucked up it sounds.

“Get your hand out of my face,” Sungchan told you firmly, looking you in the eyes to get his point across, but you weren’t deterred. You step closer to him, finger still in his face.

“No. Not until you apologize. Admit it was rude. You were rude.”

“I wasn’t fucking rude,” Sungchan argues, swatting your hand down when you don’t move it from his face. You bring it back up without a care of the consequences, resulting in a game of him swatting your hand down every time you bring it up.

You two look stupid. Thank God this is in the privacy of your living room.

“You had no right-”

“You were never going to talk to him if I didn’t! You’re a chicken-”

“I’m not a fucking chicken––Oh my god, don’t call me a bird.”

“You’re such a fucking chicken, dude. Do you remember how long it took you to even talk to Shotaro? Months. ‘Took you months to even say hi to him, and that’s because-”

“Shut up.”

“That’s because I had to step it! I was the one to get you to talk to him!” Sungchan continued with a shit-eating grin, voice picking up volume as he leaned down to get closer to you as if you couldn’t hear him clear enough, pointing to himself like he had won some kind of award. Your already flushed cheeks begin to heat up when you remember the Shotaro incident of 2022. He always brought up Shotaro, and even if it was just to pick on you playfully, it still struck a nerve. You were more shy than Sungchan ever was, always letting him start the conversations or introduce you to new people. Half of your friends are Sungchan’s friends; half of the people you’ve dated are because Sungchan knew them first. Every connection in your life could be traced back to Sungchan, which drove you insane.

“Now, you want to talk all this shit because you got embarrassed I had to step in again and help you get some dick,” Sungchan pressed, his grin turning into a smirk as he nodded at his words, feeling them in his being because they’re true. You stared at him with contempt, teeth grinding as your fists balled up tightly. “You should be thanking me. You’re so ungrateful for everything-”

You lunged at him. You swear you don’t have control of your body when you do it, you just throw your entire weight into his chest and hope for the best. Sungchan let out an “Oof!” sound when you collided with him, staggering back and hitting the ground with you on top of him. You act as if you two are playfully wrestling, but none of your movements have an ounce of playfulness in them. You straddled his hips firmly as you shoved at his hands harshly to get them away from grabbing you. You knew once he got his hands on you, it was over. He’d flip you two over, and it’d be done. You couldn’t let him win this. You couldn’t do it. You had to prove it to him.

You don’t know what it was, but you had to prove it.

You grab his hair tightly, jerking his head off the carpet to distract him, tugging hard on the brown locks. Sungchan lets out a yelp that sounds pathetic. His eyes squeezed shut as his large hands wrapped around your wrist to try and pull you off of him.

“Not fair-” He started. You shake his head, eliciting another yelp from him.

“Shut up. Shut the fuck up,” You spat at him, shaking him again. His face contorted in pain and confusion, groaning softly as he did what you told him for once. You couldn’t believe he actually listened. Truthfully, you didn’t think you’d get this far. You’re not exactly sure what to do next. So, you shake his head again, making him hiss when you tugged harder on his locks. “Can’t fucking stand you, you know that? You’re such a jerk sometimes. Just big, stupid, and taking up space.” You shake his head around with every word, watching him drop his hands and put them up in front of him in faux surrender, but he doesn’t say anything. He only whined and grunted when you pulled on his hair harder than usual.

You waited for him to spit something back at you, to call you a coward, to say you needed him, but nothing but pants left his plush lips. You furrow your brows in confusion at his silence. Sungchan was never quiet. You shake him again.

“Hello? Say something!” You shake his head again, this time back and forth. You won’t lie. It was fun to have him like this. He acted like some kind of puppet that you were the master of, pulling him around in whichever direction you wanted him to go in, and he just took it. Sungchan sighed in defeat, keeping his eyes shut tightly.

“My dick just twitched.” 

Oh.

“Excuse me?” You couldn’t think of anything else to say. Your hands, which had been roughly pulling at Sungchan's hair, suddenly freeze. Your heart pounds in your chest as you gaze down at him, cocking a brow at him. His face is flushed a deep crimson, though whether from embarrassment or something else, you can't tell.

"I said," he starts again, much slower this time, swallowing hard, "My... my dick just twitched."

You blink at his repeated confession, not expecting him to repeat the words. There’s a tension growing between the two of you that you’ve never felt before, making your throat dry as you stare at Sungchan’s embarrassed face, watching his chest rise and fall as he pants beneath you. Flashes of what he’d look like without his shirt flash in your brain, wondering what sounds he’d make as you sink down on him, how his eyes would look, how the muscles would ripple under his––Jesus Christ, get it together, girl. You remind yourself, clearing your throat down at him.

“Like…Seriously?” Sungchan nods at your dry words, opening his eyes slowly to look up at you. A switch in your brain is flipped when you see his big brown eyes. He looks utterly pathetic like this, hair in your hand revealing his forehead, eyes pleading for something silent, and lips in a perfect soft pout. You wanted to take his picture like the actual definition of pitiful.

You chuckle at him, shaking him again and tugging his hair hard to see if it really did anything for him. He whines again, shutting his eyes as his hands lurch towards your hips, holding tightly with a sharp breath through his teeth. You smirk at his reaction, raising your brows in slight shock it was this easy to get him going. Maybe it was the alcohol, you think. You’ve seen Sungchan shove his tongue down girls’ throats just mere minutes after he met them, but this is you. You’re his best friend, his roommate, the girl who beat his ass for talking to her crush for her. You know you’re pretty, and Sungchan is just a man, but you’re still caught off guard by it all.

Your palm still cradled his scalp, thumb lazily tracing small circles at the base of his hairline. Sungchan’s hands on your hips squeeze gently, fingers digging into your flesh just a bit more than necessary and causing a shiver to wind its way up your spine.

Without thinking, you leaned forward and claimed Sungchan's lips in a rough, desperate kiss. His taste was different than any guy you've ever kissed - salty with a hint of beer and lime from the drink he had tonight. You wrapped your hand tightly around the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to you as your other hand found its way under his shirt to feel his warm skin. You didn't let up when he moaned into your mouth, feeling your touch while he tentatively kissed you back. Your anger turned into desperation quickly as you slipped your tongue into his mouth, tasting him fully now. His lips were soft and plush against yours as they parted slightly to let you in further. You moaned the moment your tongues slid together, digging your nails into his toned chest as he pressed in further, sucking softly on the slick muscle in your mouth.

Sungchan's hands moved up your body, gripping your waist and still pulling you closer. The fabric of your shirt scratching against his rough palms made you shiver with anticipation for more contact. You grind down on him out of instinct, feeling the bulge in his pants grow as he groans against your mouth, wanting more from both of you. His scent filled your senses - a mix of sweat and cologne and something uniquely Sungchan that made you want more.

The sound of his rhythmic grunts filled the room, a mix of desire and surprise in every breath he took. His fingers dug into your skin through your shirt, and you moaned into his mouth once more. Your breath hitched when he bit down on your lower lip gently, making you gasp and whimper into the kiss before breaking it, desperate for air. You gasp softly when you part, watching with hazy eyes as he pants as well, lips slick with spit and typically wide eyes heavy with lust.

You tug at his shirt, nodding before he has any time to say something that will kill the mood.

“Take it off.”

And he listens like a dog, pushing himself up and pulling his white T-shirt over his head, tossing it aside before wrapping his arms around your torso and pulling you flush against him. There are no thoughts in your head right now, only Sungchan, touching Sungchan, kissing Sungchan, fucking Sungchan––Holy shit, you were totally going to fuck Sungchan. That hits you harder than you thought it would. You’ve thought about it before. How could you not? He’s beautiful, kind, and built like a God. Of course, you thought about fucking Sungchan. It was nothing like this, however. Typically, you thought of him having your face pressed into the mattress, back arched, and fucking you from behind like he was getting paid. You would’ve never guessed you’d be on top, but it’s not like you can’t get into it for Sungchan. You’d do anything for Sungchan.

"Are you sure?" Sungchan whispers against the skin of your neck, his hands finding your hips again to steady you against him, his bare chest warm and firm. You're taken aback for a moment, not expecting the question. But then you realize that he’s always been considerate, even when he’s on the verge of losing control.

"Yeah," you say firmly, the word slipping out without thought and causing heat to flare in Sungchan's eyes.

Without hesitation, you reach for the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head swiftly. The cool air hits your skin, making goosebumps spread across your chest and arms. Sungchan's eyes widen as he takes you in, his gaze making you feel exposed and powerful. You struggle to pull your jeans off, having to crawl off of him to kick them off in haste. You hate how desperate you look but can’t bring yourself to care. Sungchan rolls on his side when you crawl off of him, lingering towards you like a lost puppy. His eyes watch as more of your skin is revealed to him, letting out a groan when he sees the smooth skin of your thighs.

Before you have the chance to climb back on top of him, he leans in, kissing the side of your thigh with a moan. You let out a gasp in shock but watched him with parted lips, threading your hands through his hair again as he dragged his lips all over the expanse of your thigh, leaving a trail of glistening spit as he did. He grabs your ankle, pulling you towards him roughly, making you fall back onto the carpet with another gasp. You don’t argue for once; you are too invested in what Sungchan will do next, even if you care.

His lips pepper kisses across the inside of your thighs, nipping at the sensitive skin with deep breaths as he inched closer and closer to your core.

He licks his lips as he hooks a long finger in your underwear, pulling them to the side. A moan leaves his lips when he sees your pussy for the first time, looking down at it like he’s looking at a coveted piece of art. You watch him closely, ears turning pink as he lifts two fingers to his lips, licking the tips of them before bringing them down between your legs to rub circles into your clit. His gaze stays on your cunt, watching how the pretty pink flesh moves beneath his fingers, biting his bottom lip when he hears you let out a whine, seeing your thighs tremble at just the slightest touch. Finally, his dark gaze lifts to meet yours.

With his eyes trained on yours, he presses a long finger inside you. A sigh leaves your lips as your eyes flutter shut, gripping the carpet with one hand while the other dug into your side, biting your bottom lip as he pressed another finger inside. You moan this time, feeling your walls begin to stretch for him. You hear him groan quietly, making your eyes open. You’re immediately met with his gaze that never left your face. He looks like he’s in a trance, staring at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. You can’t tell how it makes you feel, but you feel hot, like you’re boiling from the inside out. It aches, but it’s so intoxicating that you want more of it.

You whimper at how his fingers slickly slide out, then back in, watching him get lost in the sight of your reactions. You’re so wet for him. It’s almost embarrassing how wet you got so quickly. You swallow thickly as your chest rises and falls with each pant. His eyes stay on your face as his thumb presses against your clit, rubbing slow circles that make you shiver with a choked-out moan. His free hand cups your jaw, tilting your head back slightly, forcing your lips apart to look deeply into your eyes as he watches you crumble under him.

Feeling emboldened, Sungchan takes his fingers out of you slowly, letting out a long moan when they leave you empty. He lays a line of sweet pecks against your inner thighs, leaving tiny bites and nips on the soft flesh until he reaches the hem of his boxers. With a breathy "Fuck," he tugs them down enough to reveal his hard cock pressing against the fabric. You gulp as it springs from its confines, averting your eyes momentarily before snapping them back up to challenge his gaze. His thick length twitches with anticipation before he guides it towards you, slick with pre-cum leaking from the tip. Your heart stops for a beat before racing wildly in your chest again.

"Wrap your legs around me," Sungchan orders softly, not breaking eye contact even when you hesitate for a second before obeying. He grunts when he feels your folds pressing against his cock, pushing inside without a moment’s hesitation. He slides in so easily, groaning at how smooth the glide inside you is. He sounds as beautiful as he looks, making you moan as well. The way his cock splits your walls apart for him is delicious, to say the least, as a euphoria fills your veins as your walls spasm around him with another moan, this one airier than the one before.

“Fuck,” Sungchan curses, fingers digging into the carpet next to your head as he looks down at where your bodies were connected before back at your face. You two lock eyes again, making your heart hammer in your chest harder than before. Still, you meet his gaze with a quiet whimper, hands wrapping around his strong biceps as you bat your lashes at him.

“Feels good, Sungie?” You ask in a too-sweet voice. You rarely whip out for him unless you ask for a favor, like getting something off the top shelf or making him finish your short answer response questions because you don’t want to. Sungchan would do anything for you, and you’d do anything for Sungchan. He takes a deep breath at your tone, lips curling into a smirk before he bites his bottom lip, nodding.

Then, his hips roll into yours.

Sungchan's thick cock feels even better than you could have ever imagined, stretching you wide and fulfilling you completely. His hips roll into yours slowly, making you moan and whine beneath him with each gentle thrust. The way he fills you up is mind-numbing, his smirk turning into a grimace as he leans down to capture your lips in a rough kiss.

Your walls clamp down on him at the contact, purposely trying to get more friction between the two of you. Sungchan groans against your lips, slipping his hands under your back and lifting you up onto his lap effortlessly. You gasp into his mouth, feeling his hard chest pressed against yours. Your heart pounds in your chest as he starts to fuck you properly now, eyes closing at the sensation that washes over you. You swear you can feel his heartbeat against your chest, but you convince yourself you’re just dreaming it.

You feel every inch of him inside of you, making your walls tighten around him with every snap of his hips into yours. A tiny sob leaves your lips when he hits that spot inside you that has you seeing stars. You dig your nails into the flesh of his shoulders, jaw-dropping and eyes rolling back at how your body moves like a rag doll and at how sharply his hips snap up into you. He groans into your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin before sucking softly to soothe it with his tongue. You can't help but shudder in his lap; this feels so good that it hurts. His hands hold you in place, one on your waist and the other cradling the back of your head as he takes rough control of the kiss again, teeth scraping against soft skin with every thrust. He pants against your lips, moaning your name softly and how good you make him feel. It's all too much for you; all too real with Sungchan, yet so not real. You’re fucking your roommate on your living room floor––You’re fucking your best friend on your living room floor.

Your hands find their way into his hair again, holding onto him tightly as he continues to fuck into you like your his, his lips trailing hot kisses down your neck and over your collarbone. You mewl at the feeling, arching your back into his chest as he hits that sweet spot inside you once more. You could feel the warmth spreading through your veins, making you dizzy with need. The room spins around you as he thrusts harder, faster, deeper into your already aching pussy. His moans mix with yours, their tongues meeting in a messy kiss that speaks volumes about how much you both want this.

Your legs quiver as he takes control of the situation, fingers digging into your skin softly before trailing up to caress your breasts through the thin fabric of your bra. You let out a strangled cry when he pinches at one of your nipples roughly, making you moan into his mouth even more, looking down to watch him work with a breath through your teeth. Your hands' card through the hair on the back of his head, eyes shutting to focus solely on the pleasure coursing through your veins with every drag of Sungchan’s cock against your walls.

"Sun-Sungchan," you whimper. The sound of his name on your lips is like music to his ears. Your body is sweaty and flushed, a beautiful sight for him to feast his eyes upon. He growls lowly when he finally meets your gaze again, heat pooling in your lower belly at the raw desire he displays.

“You’re so fucking good, baby. ‘Should’ve fucked you soon, hm?” Sungchan groans, his voice creased with effort as he continues to pound into you. You can’t help but respond with a needy whimper, skin burning under his touch as you nod your head dumbly. You feel him everywhere, and it's overwhelming - the way he’s stretched you wide open, the way he feels pushing deep inside of you, the way his hands are holding you in place as if afraid that you'll slip away from underneath him.

Your heart beats furiously against your chest, matching rhythm with the throbbing ache between your legs. You're close, too close, but not quite there yet. Sungchan seems to sense your growing desperation, the flash of triumph in his eyes telling you he knows exactly what he's doing to you. He reaches down and begins rubbing slow circles on your clit again, thumb pressing against the sensitive nub just enough to make you cry out in pleasure.

“You gonna cum for me?” He whispers against your throat, teeth dipping into your soft flesh, causing a sharp gasp from your lips. You nod frantically in response, words failing you as white-hot pleasure courses through your veins. He laughs softly - a dark chuckle that sends shivers down your spine.

The way you melt against him is intoxicating. He grunts, unable to think straight as he feels his own orgasm building up. His hips move even faster, his cock sliding in and out of your welcoming heat with each thrust. He groans against your skin, panting heavily as he fucks you like it’s his last dying will, wet sounds filling the room that mixes with your pants and moans. You squeeze your eyes shut at the sounds you’re making, cheeks growing more read because of it. Sex is so embarrassing sometimes.

He pulls away from your neck just a little to look into your eyes, panting heavily as they roll back in pleasure. Sungchan's lips curl into a smirk at seeing how lost you get. Your walls tighten around his cock once again as you cum around him, making Sungchan's eyes roll back into his head and tilt his head back with a melodic groan that has you moaning as well. You feel him tremble beneath you as he finally cums inside of you, making you smirk softly as your hands run up and down his back.

You throw your head back and cry out his name, orgasm hitting you hard and fast like a freight train. He watches as you finally hit your peak, jaw-dropping at how gorgeous you look when you feel good. Your walls clamp down around him, and your muscles spasm in ecstasy; even through the haze of pleasure, you feel every drop of his cum spilling into you, the heat of it searing into your core. Your body convulses and shivers under the onslaught of pleasure, your voice breaking on Sungchan's name. 

Sungchan stays still for a moment longer, his cock still buried deep inside of you. His chest heaves against yours, ragged gasps filling the space between your sated bodies. He blinks slowly, his gaze holding yours captive as he pants out your name. You take his face into his hands with a deep breath, leaning in and kissing his lips without a second though. He moans into the kiss, holding your wrists gently as he does so.

You both stay like that for a while. Bodies joined together in the aftermath of your shared orgasm. The only sounds in the room are your gasping breaths and the rapid beat of your heart pounding in sync. Cautiously, Sungchan pulls out of you gently, making your pussy squeeze around nothing instinctively at the loss, a soft whimper leaving your lips.

He rolls off to one side, pulling you with him so that you're tucked against his side. His arm wraps around you and keeps you close to him, fingers dancing along your sweaty skin lightly. Neither of you speak for long moments, too wrapped up in trying to regain control of your breathing and coming down from your highs even to fathom thinking of words right now.

Eventually, though, Sungchan breaks the silence with a soft whisper, "You okay?"

Your lips twitch into a tired smile against his chest, pressing a small kiss there before nodding. "Yeah," you huff out after a moment, "That was…"

"Crazy," he finishes for you, making you shut your eyes with a laugh, nodding in agreement.

“Yeah…That was crazy,” You whisper, moving your head to rest on his chest to soak up more of his warmth. Your cheek squishes against his chest as you lay there, looking down at his spent cock resting against his thigh. It hits you that you’re both naked and just had sex on your living room floor. This calls for a conversation at the least but you can’t drag yourself to start it, completely spent from what just occurred.

So, instead, you close your eyes.

You’ll deal with it in the morning.

[4chensungs]

don’t kiss and tell

brothers best friend!jisung x fem. reader

after the incident of your brother finding out you hooked up with one of his friends, you promised to yourself to never look out for him anymore. but who says he’ll give up on you that easily?

wc. 2.8k

warnings. smut (mdni), jisung is down bad, body worship like crazy in here, tit sucking, fingering, ass slapping, unprotected sex

part 1 for context here <3

IT HAS BEEN one whole month since you last talked to jisung. one month since you saw him probably for the last time in a hot minute.

the last few weeks have been extremely unusual; you keep questioning yourself how was he doing, if he's even ever going to appear at your house again to hang out with you brother, like he always did. he's probably not.

and fuck jaemin, fuck him for screwing your bond with him. it's useless, pure jealousy and he's so stupid!, stupid for being this mad with one if his best friends of years, simply because he thinks you're still a child.

on the other hand, jisung is being not so subtle in the way he still wants you. he keeps liking the pics you post on your instagram stories, sometimes even replying to them. and it's the sad fact you're not giving him a single reply.

his mind wanders to the thought of you being already completely over him, wanting to distance yourself fully right now, thanks to your brother.

but your heart knows that's not what you want, and it keeps giving you a warning that the next time that you see him, these feelings will come back stronger than ever.

you miss him. so bad, thinking about him makes you sick.

you're laying in bed, scrolling quietly through your phone when the damn notification appears. why does he keep trying? you sigh out loud.

the__and.y liked your stories.

you ran your hands through your hair, turning off your phone to stare at the ceiling to collect your breath. you can't, your brother is still furious with both of you.

jisung ♡: why do u keep ignoring me in every existing social media

is he really going to do this? at this late at night?

jisung ♡: i miss you

you kept reading his messages and not replying. you didn't contact him for a month.

maybe, just maybe, things may have gotten lighter with jaemin. perhaps he's not really remembering this whole thing, yeah?

you: i'm sorry jisung

you: idk if this is right i really don't know

you: im confused

you turn off your phone again while waiting for his reply. let's give it a try.

jisung ♡: why wouldn't it be right

jisung ♡: jaemin can't control your life, you can do whatever you want

hm.

you: i felt bad that day and he's still so mad with you

you: idc if he's mad with me, he's my brother at the end of the day

you: i worry about you and how hes fucked up your friendship

jisung ♡: baby you know what's fucked up

jisung ♡: you trying to convince yourself that you don't want this because of him

jisung ♡: say to my face that you don't want it

you want this so fucking bad. to be in his arms again, and the thrill of being with him behind closed doors. god, that's all you want in every way.

you: ji

you: i want to see you

jisung ♡: that's right

jisung ♡: i've waited for this princess

jisung ♡: waited so long

you: i need you

you: i don't care anymore

you really don't give a fuck - your brother can hold his protectiveness instinct for himself, he actually can. you can't control what your heart aims for.

and it screams for park jisung.

"you can't ignore him forever, you know that?"

"who says I'm ignoring him? I texted him yesterday saying he should come this weekend." jaemin huffed, acting oblivious to the fact that the only reason why he invited jisung over was because of the boys' annual end of year party.

chenle deadpans at him with his stare, letting out a chuckle, "if you didn't invite him I would've done it myself." he paused, turning his head to look at the man, "that would be bullshit."

bullshit. jaemin swore he almost threw chenle out of the car in the harshest way possible - clicking his tongue in pure annoyance, "yeah, it was just fine when he fucked my sister behind my back."

"i'm pretty sure they did not fuck."

if you didn't then why were you both half naked. in his car. at your backyard?

"i'm telling you, I saw it. she was literally on top of him and she was fucking moaning his name, chenle. that's fucking wrong." your brother spat while still not looking at his friend - eyes focused on the road.

chenle keeps going, "cut this off, jaem. you can't see her as a baby anymore. let her live."

jisung is indeed coming to your house again - sooner than you thought. but it did take some days for you to find out, tho. you brother wasn't the one who told you.

in the same day, the last messages jisung sent you before you went to sleep.

jisung ♡: dress up prettily for me tomorrow

jisung ♡: will you?

you: what??

you: you're coming???

jisung ♡: jaemin told me to go and yeah i didn't expect it as well

jisung ♡: dreaming of you again

jisung ♡: kissing your sweet lips holding you so close to me

jisung ♡: it'll be all mine princess

you: go to sleep ji

you: silly

jisung ♡: i'll show you what's silly tomorrow

—

the sound of the boys laughing and loud pitching talking in the living room did quite mess with your head, anticipating the moment when he comes. it's crazy how you got so dolled up for him only, he's the reason why you're even going out of your room this night.

if it wasn't for jisung, you'd probably just greet the guys and come back to your own quiet place, drowning in your thoughts, alone. just like you always used to do before he appeared in your life.

a knock was heard on your door just right after you finished your makeup. unexpectedly, you meet a very tipsy jaemin.

"what the fuck is this outfit?" he spats, crossing his arms in front of his chest - his body unbalanced. for a split second, you closed your eyes and thanked all the existing Gods under your breath. he's drunk.

you smiled, "felt pretty today. you smell like beer, don't talk to me."

"hey, hey, hey." he grabbed your arm before you could close the door and kick him out, "come say hello to my friends. don't be rude."

you fixed your hair and outfit and went to the living room, being find with chenle, jeno and donghyuck's figures sat around the big table, nestled with all the different kinds of drinks and alcohol.

your breath hitched when jisung was nowhere to be found.

after greeting the guys, you decided to wait in your room - not sure on how, or when will jisung get there and you'll finally get to release all of your wants. show him how much you miss him and vice versa.

not much time had passed before another knock was heard on your door. you were sprawled on bed, dim lighting decorating the ambient.

"come in."

you said that because you thought it was your brother. jisung carefully opened the door, eyes peeking first to check on you.

that scene truly felt like a movie. you slowly got up, a smile starting to pop up in your lips as you walked to him.

your voice trembling, "hi, ji."

you opened the door fully for him to enter your space, he wasted no time to step in and pull you into a hug.

a mess was happening in your head, so ridiculously dizzy from him - the masculine smell of his cologne filling your nostrils, his hands holding your body flush to him while yours gripped his black t shirt, so simple and casual but yet made him look so attractive.

or maybe that’s just because you miss him a lot.

jisung leaned away from your embrace, gently taking your hair out of your face while holding eye contact - hands flew to your hips.

"you look gorgeous. more than ever."

your arms secured their hold around his neck, feeling your cheeks burning red from his words, "just for you." you announced.

he nodded, "all for me."

you both smiled like two idiots in love as he leaned down to kiss you, mouths melting so sweet at first - tongues brushing here and there, hums being heard throughout the kiss, "so pretty in this dress." he mumbles in between.

his back hits the door as he closes it, left hand leaving your hips for a mere second just to lock it.  making absolute sure that no one will be able to interrupt.

jisung grabs a hold of your thighs to help you walk further into your room, so familiar to him.

all the times you've sneaked out, when jisung slept by and left jaemin's room in the middle of the night when he was in a deep sleep. all behind his back with so much carefulness.

when he lays you down he's quick to trail his wet kisses down to your neck, firm hands caressing your whole body, going up and down in motions.

you arch into him, playing with his black hair strands as his face rests on your chest, meanwhile his lips keeps smooching your hot skin.

you sigh in contentment, knees pressing together - trying to give him a sign that you're needy, so painfully needy for him.

"jisung i want- mhhm" your words get cut off by your own whine when his hand grabs the top of your dress to pull it down, hanging it just below your bra.

"don't want to take your dress off.. youre looking too beautiful like this." his deep voice quietly said.

you smile at his sweet comment, holding back all your whines combined with the feeling of his fingers messing with the lace of your white bra, throwing your head back with no shame when he pulls the fabric down to expose your breasts, still not taking it off your body.

"so pretty, princess. i could admire you all day."

cool air is fast to hit but it's soon replaced by jisung's hot mouth, circling your breast with his tongue, hand massaging the other while his mouth does wonders on your soft flesh.

when he reaches for your nipple you whine even louder, his saliva pooling and soaking your whole breast when he sucks it into his warm hot mouth, humming nonstop.

"you're crazy ji-jisung."

"should i stop?" he teases, leaning his mouth away from your nipple and replacing it with his finger, rubbing it.

"no for fucks sake.. but I'm trying so hard to keep quiet." your voice trembled slightly.

jisung looks at you then laughs, “they’re so wasted right now, no one’s conscious in that room, love.”

you pout at him, he softly traces your bottom lip with his thumb before kissing you again, “I promise you, it’s okay. but I need you to tell me it’s okay with you.”

his soft and caring voice did turn you on even more, it shouldn’t, but it made you wetter. eyes holding so much love and appreciation looking at yours - “I want this. I want you, ji.”

jisung smiles one more time, giving you a nod and resumed his work, mumbling a deep “fuck” under his breath when he tested the waters, hand went under your dress to feel your core.

he pulled the ends of your dress up to your stomach, your thighs ridiculously pressed together. you should be ashamed of how wet you were, but you’re not, not even a single bit.

he gives your thighs a caress, “let me spread them, hm?”

your breath hitches when he brings your knees to your chest, spreading you all open and full for him. jisung mentally coos at the scene in front of him.

just like your bra, white lace panties with a wet dark patch decorated in the middle, like a gift for him. it drove him crazy.

“did you miss me that much, princess?” you can only moan as response when he touches the wet patch with his finger before pulling the lace to the side, holding it in place with one finger, while his middle finger travels up and down your cunt.

wet, so fucking wet, “fuck. love, i might cum just by looking at this.” he cursed and cursed again, eyes wide open and looking straight at your puffy displayed cunt, so wet just for him. he knew that and so did you.

“oh fuck baby i can’t-“ jisung’s fingers spread you open to admire you better - in love, genuinely in love with how your pretty pussy shines for him, glistening and begging to suck him in.

he leans down fast enough to give your clit a quick kiss, “can’t stop thinking about how beautiful she is.” still caressing your core.

you moan his name desperately at his nasty but sweet comment, tons of whines and “jisung” ‘s leaving your mouth.

“ji please. want your fingers.” you manage to say.

“of course, gotta prep my beautiful girl.” he smiles, an expert finger circling your clit before diving down into your entrance. covered with slick, your cunt invites him just as soon.

experienced fingers pumping in and out continuously, you whine with your eyes closed at the sound of wetness.

jisung’s in complete awe, stoping his staring at your hole to kiss your face, first at the corner of your mouth, then at your lips, shutting your whines off.

“you’re perfect.” he leans away to say.

nothing’s more perfect in this world than the sensation of his long and thick fingers inside you, scissoring you and reaching the deepest and most sensitive spots ever. you’ll say that to him later.

you try to smile but you soon harshly bite your lip when he curled his two fingers inside, you yelped, “jisung! oh my god-“

he kisses you again, and again, until he’s satisfied and thinks you’re ready to take him. jisung’s fingers leave you empty, and you let out a cry - his eyes make their way to between your legs to see how you’re pulsating.

“never seen my princess this wet..” deep cocky voice says.

you reach out to take off your dress, “i’ve missed you.”

when your dress was discarded to the floor, he was quick to unbutton his jeans as they went to the same destination of your clothes.

you could see his erection through his boxers, and as much as you want to such him off right now, you’re needing him inside. now.

your panties were about to be discarded before jisung grabbed your hand and shook his head, “want them on, baby. s’ pretty. keep the bra too.”

knowing how he likes it with you, you turned around and pinned your front to the bed, arching your back and your ass in the air.

“fuck, just like that.” he pumps his cock at first, cooing you while you wait for him.

jisung’s hands flew to your back to arch it even more, then to hold your hips. he rubs the head of his dick on your entrance, how your pussy almost sucks him in just from the rubbing.

when he enters you, you let out a little too loud moan. hands clutching the sheets and tears filling your eyes.

he’s completely focused on how you keep clenching around him - the amusing view of your cunt sucking him all the way in, then out again.

your hips were pressed to his shaft, feeling him so fucking deep into your womb.

jisung coos again, “you don’t know how I’ve been dying for this.” he slaps your ass.

“jisung! jisung fuck, jisung.” you whine like a baby, lost in the pleasure. ass stinging from his big hand slap and cunt begging to be filled until you get sore.

“my love.” another slap, “fucking made just for me.”

his cock is so big and it leaves you like a babbling mess, so big that it almost hurts from how good it is, hits you in all places.

you both were getting closer, his thrusts started to get sloppier and messier, slower as he pulled away to release at your back.

your own release dripped down your pussy and thighs, while his hot cum painted your back down to your ass cheeks. what a scene.

“want them all to see this mess.. jaemin needs to see how you’re good to me.“ he admires the sight of your cunt clenching and unclenching around absolutely nothing but the air, “can’t believe you’re mine and no one can ever change that.”

you tiredly laid back on your back again, trying to fix your hair. jisung’s sweaty body joined you after tossing the dirty sheets aside, he breathes heavy, but still with that cute smile on his lips.

“do you think they heard something?.” you look up at him, voice low.

jisung thinks for a second, furrowing his brows, “i honestly don’t think so, baby. but you need to change these sheets..”

“of course i will, ji.” you laughed fondly. there’s still some questions hanging in the air, with what face will he come back to the boys?

“and if they ask you where were you this whole time and what were you doing…?”

“then i’ll just say that i was fucking the prettiest girl in the family and i don’t regret it.”

—

© 4chensungs

[viiennie]

its my first time writing on tumblr and also my first time writing fluff pls b nice ):

content: streetracer!reader x obsessed!nervous!gojosatoru

- yuji and gojo almost die on a late night drive but thats okay because gojo thinks he just met the hottest woman in the world.

this is part one,,, probably??? idk

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

tw: car chase, curse words, small car accident, reader might be a little insane, GOJO IS A LITTLE AWKWARDS BUT ITS OKAY HES A CUTIE

“ne, sensei the car behind us is being weird…” itadori sweats, hands tight on the steering wheel as he winces at the way the lights from the suv car behind him reflect on the mirror.

gojo nods, “yeah, he’s being a real asshole.” he sighs, “it’s alright, the next left turns is ours. turn on your signal light.” he reassures his student, proud that he isnt panicking because of the blinding light and the close proximity between them.

yuji follows his teacher’s instructions, turning on his signal light and making his turn.

but he’s surprised when the car suddenly launches forward, accompanied by the sound of a loud thump from the back. “this dude is an ass!” he shouts, hitting the breaks as he stops on the side of the road behind the white lane. (thankfully not the sidewalk.)

“stay put first itadori, i’ll go–” before the blue eyes sorcerer could finish his sentence, they hear the car behind them accelerating away, followed by a loud shouting of, “WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING ASSHAT!”

gojo watches as you speed after the drunkard in a nissan skyline gtr r34, the flutters of your turbo sending chills down his spine.

he chuckles, finding the situation absolutely bewildering before turning back to focus on his dearest student….who was gone from the driver’s seat????????

“gojo sensei, the exhaust fell out!” yuji calls out from outside, staring defeatedly at the chunk of metal on the green grass.

ᯓᡣ𐭩

the next day, you were at the police station, getting your speeding ticket settled.

all you wanted to do was be a good person and help out your fellow citizens. i mean, what else were you supposed to do when you had witnessed a hit and run?

“um…call the police? miss y/n you cant just get into a high speed chase, you have to let the us do our jobs sometimes.”

the officer scolds you, a stern look on her face as you lower your head in shame. you felt like a highschool student being reprimanded by your adviser all over again.

after the long lecture, you were finally free to go, and the moment you step out of the station, you bump into the chest of a person, almost tripping and falling down if it wasnt for the hands that caught you before you lost your balance.

“ah, im sorry. i wasnt—”

“were you the person who chased a drunk driver last night by chance?”

you look up to see a man seemingly in his 20s, pale white hair, and very very tinted shades. his ears a slightly tainted red as he patiently awaits a reply, watching as you regain your balance and straighten out your windbreaker jacket.

“yes, i was. is there a problem?” you raise an eyebrow and cross your arms, shifting your weight to one foot.

“i just wanted to say thank you.. it was my student and i that got hit.”

gojo satoru doesnt know why he’s being so polite. he doesnt know why he cant keep eye contact. he doesnt know why his heart is about to beat out of his chest, and he doesnt know why he decided to search the nearby police stations despite his busy schedule, hoping to maybe bump into you, and he did.

“oh..” you uncross your arms, having thought you were about to receive another scolding from a person that you maybe somehow wronged in the streets. “uhh, its no problem really.” you smile before walking past him. you were hungry and wanted to have a feast.

“i..” gojo satoru, for the first time in his life, panics, “let me treat you out for dinner!” its five pm, you probably havent had dinner right? otherwise it’d be embarassing if you refused his offer.

you stop in your tracks, wondering if your actions really meant that much to this stranger before shrugging. this was a free meal that you would never pass up on. “sure.”

so now, here you were, in the beautiful cafe, with beautiful food, and a very nervous gojo satoru in front of you.

god this is so embarrassing! gojo screams in his head. he was usually good with women. he usually always knew what to say to ease the mood. and he was always smooth with his words. so why are all the letters of the alphabet suddenly stuck in his throat? why cant he find the right sentences to form?

“so..i never learned your name?” you begin, picking up your spoon and fork. “my name is y/n l/n.”

he clears his throat, “gojo satoru.” his voice almost breaks, his shaking hand reaching for the straw of his drink to guide to his lips. whatdoisay?whatdoisay?whatdoisay?whatdoisay?WHATDOISAY??????

“gojo, you need to relax. im scared you’ll start crying.” you honestly admit, hand reaching out for his shaking ones, “i dont think you can even eat look how much you’re trembling.” you sigh, watching as he turns completely red, steam erupting from his head.

“o-oh im sorry..” he mumbles, almost whispers. absolutely frozen as he just stares at the way your hand wraps around his.

“okay look, lets get the food for takeout and i’ll show you something, alright?” you hum, not really minding since you had already eating enough to quell your hunger.

gojo swears it happened too fast. the waiter took too fast to give the bill and the takeout, you walked too fast to your car, and he walked too fast, sat too fast into the passengers seat.

hell, he doesnt even know how he ended up telling you he had no ride home when he, in fact, had his bmw waiting for him on the other side of the parking lot. “so where do you live?” you hum, starting your car and smiling at the sound of the motor coming to life.

gojo says his address, eyes focused on the way your hands grip the steering wheel, the way you seem to fit into your seat like a puzzle. he loves the way your car smells, he loves the way its customized to fit your tastes. and he loves the way you look when you begin driving.

you looked so content.

“you look so beautiful, angel.” he unknowingly mutters, loud enough for you to hear.

“why thank you.” you giggle, “finally calming those nerves down?” you assumes he just had some type of social anxiety that made him nervous around other people, so you were glad he got to relax in the safety of your car.

as you drive, the view of the sunset over the sea comes into view, the orange and yellow hues casting a glow over the city. you slow down, “you wanna stop and admire the view first?”

“yea, i would love to.”

you nod, parking into a nearby open parking lot, and turn off the engine of the car.

you cant help but notice the way gojo stares at you through his long eyelashes, blue eyes boring holes into your soul. this is the first time you actually got to see his eyes, the black shades no longer in the way of them.

you notice his eyes, yes, but you dont notice the way you’re slowly leaning closer towards him until you’re only inches away from his face.

this is wrong, you both think.

i have a mountain load of missions to finish, i shouldnt be here.

i barely know this guy, should i be doing this?

but did all that really matter? what if this was a risk worth taking?

gojo satoru forgets his fears, raising his hand to cup your cheek, pulling you in closer to finally meet your soft lips.

you swear you could almost hear fireworks going off the moment you kiss this stranger whos name is the only thing you know about him, oh, and you also knew that he was cute too. the way he furrowed his eyebrows as the kiss deepened, the way his cheeks turned so red that you wondered if he would start overheating, the way his thumb on your cheek caressed your skin, it was all so adorable.

[bloodyinkandquill]

Rocket x Reader

wrote these after getting off of phighting, was very fun phighting is so good shsigsjshsk, anyways enjoy!

- When you first met Rocket you thought he was hyper and kind of annoying, fast forward to you two dating, you did not see that one coming but hey, boyfriend acquired so who cares

- While yes he is sorta hyperactive and a bit loud sometimes you love that about him, it’s part of who he is and you love everything about him, and he loves everything about you right back, even if not through words he shows his love for you a lot, especially through touch, he’s very clingy, he likes hugging you, holding you, holding your hand, draping himself across your legs or having you drape yourself over him, he just wants to be in contact with you at all times

- He probably uses those really cheesy embarrassing pet names just to make you embarrassed and annoyed with him, stuff like shnookums or cutiepie, but actually he calls you sweet things in private when he doesn’t wanna be an ass, if you do it back he turns it into a game, who can call the other a more weird/embarrassing name, whoever can’t think of something or whoever gets too embarrassed and asks the other to stop first wins, he’s very competitive but he has admitted defeat a couple times before

- You definitely help Rocket with trimming his horns, cleaning his rocket, basic maintenance on his arm and leg, etc, while he can do those things by himself it’s difficult, especially his horns and since Zuka ‘thinks it’s stupid’ he usually asks you or Sword to trim them, then it’s difficult to repair his arm when he only has the one to use

- Speaking of his arm it has occurred more than once where you slept over at his or he slept at your and the next morning you have to spend 5 minutes finding his fucking leg because he put it somewhere the night before and can’t remember where so he can’t fucking walk, he gets all grumbly and huffy even when you remind him it’s his fault he doesn’t know where his leg is, if your at his place and you just cannot find it he puts on an old one that’s not bionic and is more like a peg leg and hobbles around to help you find it

- For dates he probably enjoys movie nights, semi fancy dinners, gaming into the early morning, a lot of quality time stuff, but don’t get him wrong his love language is physical touch during all of it he’s touching you somewhere, arm, leg, head, whatever, something of his is on you or something of yours is on him

- Chronic clothes thief, hoodie? Rocket is gaslighting you into thinking it’s always been his, but not actually it’s a silly goofy thing not a toxic thing, some accessory you wear commonly? You take it off for a second and he’s got it on, don’t even get started on if he spends the night at your place, you wake up after him and nothing he’s wearing is his, it is all from your closet

- DO NOT LET THIS MAN IN THE KITCHEN. Early on in the relationship he offered to make you breakfast, Zuka had to grab a fire extinguisher. You learned a valuable lesson to never let him cook, he forgot the water in ramen, SIX TIMES. If you can’t cook either you guys eat a lot of take out or rely on Zuka, luckily he can cook, though some of it is solider ration meals because of his past, so honestly if you also can’t cook you might just wanna pick up food for everyone’s sakes

- He feels ashamed about his past and hates talking to you about it, it was a awful part of his life and he has the scars to prove it, you don’t push which he is grateful for as he doesn’t want you to think less of him for the violence and anger that was teenage him

hope you enjoyed! i had fun writing it and j think it’s good, i feel like i’m missing something though, idk its midnight maybe im just over thinking lol, if i do remember i forgot something i’ll add it

[radskull-69]

thinking about miss delight x orphan reader (platonically!)

warning! Mentions of broken bones? Idk that’s about it.

It would have the same concept as the player being a former employee and coming back because of the letter, but instead you’re a orphan that grew up there ever since your parents left you there.

you were close with the miss delight bot’s, they were so motherly and patient with you no matter how many times you messed up in class.

though one of the Delights stood out to you, it was hard to separate her from the rest since they’re so identical. But you knew it was always her when she would sit down with you when you sat by yourself at play time, or when she’d pat your head whenever she’d past by your desk.

she would call you all kinds of sweet names! ‘Apple’, ‘barbie’, ‘honey’

she was the closest thing to a mother you could get.

Sometimes you’d even call her mom in class- she didn’t seem to mind though. you’re her child after all!

though eventually you were adopted, only a day before the Hour of joy.

You didn’t know it happened, how could you? You were too busy with your disgusting new family!

she missed you, how couldn’t she? The Hour of joy didn’t bring as much joy if you couldn’t be there to watch her kill those pigs

why did you come back? It wasn’t because of a letter, you only went back for the memories the company brought you. For the nostalgia..

for her.

though when you showed up it was horrific, having to go past Huggy wuggy, mommy long legs and so many other toys you once felt so close to. It’s when you went to the school to get that battery did it really fuck you up.

the silence was too loud, not even your own footsteps and heart beat in your ears could fill it enough. This school used to be so loud, so bubbly.. so much more brighter

full of life.

but now…?

the paints that gave this place colour long since chipped off from the walls, trash and littered around (only wrappers, there wasn’t any wasted food?) and lights flickering.

you shivered, you wish you never came back.

holding your bag tighter you continued on, pointedly pushing down those feelings trying to worm themselves up to resurface. It wasn’t the time to get emotional

you wonder if she’s still here, or did she die too? What happened to the other teachers?

you grit your teeth and before you could think anymore the speakers that filled the corners of the school crackled to life, startling you with a jump as you snapped your head up to look up at the closest one.

“Y-you… I know you! You used to be an orphan here!”

that voice…

“You came back! I’d warn you to leave but…”

somewhere in the distance you could hear the schools front doors slam shut with a bang, making you tense up further if it were any possible. You’re locked in

“I always knew it was too early for you to leave the birds nest! I was beginning to think you died”

Your eyes drifted from the worn speaker and to the camera next to it, pointed at right you.

ah.. so that’s how she could see you. Makes sense..

“But barb always gave me hope!” Who the fuck is barb? “And she was right! It gets so lonely here..”

this was a bad idea.. why are you even helping these toys!? You should just run for it while you still can

and you did just that, turning on your heal of your sneakers and running back down the hall you were just walking through. You jumped over lockers that were fallen on the ground and other junk to avoid tripping.

the exit doors were in sight, yes! Maybe you could wedge them open?

Just as you passed a open door leading to a classroom you once attended you felt someone swing something sharp into your shoulder blade

“Ahh! Oh fuck!” You tripped on your own feet at the sudden pain, falling onto your side onto the dirty floor as you grit your teeth. You squeezed your eyes shut as your undamaged arm came up to hold your shoulder while it leaked blood.

“Watch your mouth! I don’t wanna have to stuff your mouth full of soap, especially since there’s barely any down here!”

you blinked your eyes open, tears spilling down as footsteps approached. Looking up you saw her.

her face was torn up so bad you didn’t even recognise her, her dressed ripped and torn like a bear went at her. Golden hair a mess that stupid red bow still in it..

she had what looked like a makeshift weapon in her hand made from a ruler and multiple colouring penciled, stained with blood. Some old and flaking off, and some fresh, yours.

“Mom…?”

you didn’t mean to sound so pathetic and scared, but as you used your feet to push yourself away while she stepped over you couldn’t help but feel like a little kid again. Bruised and hurt as she’d kiss your wounds..

times change..

“Welcome home apple, don’t worry.”

she stopped just short of in front of you, tilting her head with a pleaded smile on her face (or as close as a smile as she can get). A croaky and broken laugh escaping her like you wish you could right now, eyes wide and pupils blown.

this isn’t your mom.. not anymore.

was she ever your mom to begin with? Or just a machine who was always ready to kill

“I’ll make sure you never leave the nest again, who needs wings to fly anyway when you can just stay with me?”

your eyes widened with fear as she brought up her weapon, and you let out a scream as she brought it down.

after all, it’d be harder to run if your legs were broken.

[maximwtf]

izzy x reader fluff plpease. maybe first kiss????. i am thinking maybe starts off in angst where the reader is rly tired and distancing themself but izzy finds them and is really nice and supportive and shit. bonus points if reader runs off at some point to hide in stede's closet.(idk i find the idea of reader who wears black all the time secretly fucking loving stede's pastels to be amazing) sorry if this made 0 sense

Izzy Hands x Reader

Words: 2440

Google docs pages: 4

Warnings: self doubt, drinking, that’s about it?

Opening: You’re doubting your skills as a pirate, making you distance yourself from anything that reminds you of the life given to you. Izzy notices this, and tries to change your  mind. 

AN// Reader can be any gender. Thank you so much for this request! A good ol’ angst with comfort at the end !! I’ll probably take a small break from ofmd after this because the urge to write a couple of genshin fics is high because I can’t find anything else but smut for that fandom. And while I can certainly live with that, I must add some angst into the mix (as I usually do :”D) Requests are only open for genshin for a bit !^^

“Skilled enough to keep running…”

Being a pirate wasn’t just a title given to some that automatically turned you into the stereotypical barbarian. While it did sometimes awfully seem like some were born to a life such as this, you felt more like a scared mouse at times. That was an underestimate, not even at times. Most of the time. Sailing, cleaning the decks, cooking, sharpening swords and all the other small tasks you usually took were easy. But whenever a more serious situation came about, you froze. You were useless. 

What kind of a pirate doesn’t know how to hold a gun properly without having your hands shake like you were going through an internal earthquake? Or one that didn’t know how to have a proper grip of their sword, so that the opponent could just smack it out of your hands? All of that and more was the norm for you. And no one even dared to tell you how useless you were. 

You would have left this life a long time ago if you could have. But where would have you even gone? You had no home, other than the sea. And you couldn’t be at the sea without a ship. And a captain you could never be, you barely survived as a crew member. At times it felt like the others just pitied you, making them not want to tell you that they saw the way you struggled to even handle a sword. And it wasn’t like you hadn’t asked for lessons for both guns and swords. But even those hadn’t helped. Something in you told you to keep running whenever something bad was about to unfold. 

So you scurried away like a mouse whenever you felt useless or when the rest of the crew handled a battle perfectly fine without you fiddling with a sword in their way. Without even noticing you started doing this even when there was no need for it. 

The evenings usually spent with the crew; talking, drinking, and laughing turned into you sitting at the bow of the ship alone. Watching as the waves hit the ship and as the droplets joined back into the huge body of water. The nights usually spent with Izzy, arguing over who would eventually take the look out shift, when both of you knew you’d sit in the crowsnest together the whole night turned into you hiding away until he gave up looking for you before making your way to the mast. At least you were in no one's way. 

And oddly enough, most of the changes didn’t bother you. After all, it felt like this was how things were meant to be. But those look out shifts became something you soon started to miss. Especially when you had to wait for him to stop looking for you before going to the mast. You could hear him search for you, even if he was never loud with it. You knew the first mate would never admit to willingly spending those hours with you. So it hurt to ignore him like this. 

But as time went on, the man became more persistent, a trait you admired. Of course he had noticed that your absence wasn’t simply exhaustion from the small tasks you always insisted on doing, saying that it was the least you could offer. Which he never understood, because in his eyes you had potential. Like raw marble that hadn’t been shaped into a statue yet. But every time he had tried to teach you, you had shied away. 

So he took it upon himself to catch you and ask what was going on. Not only for his own sake, but the captains had been asking about you and what kind of a first mate would have he been if he didn’t know where the crew was. Especially when one of them had seemingly disappeared, apart from the cleaning still being magically done. Knowing it was you. 

So another night, he looked for you as had become a habit. And as per usual tradition, you were nowhere to be found. No amount of lantern light on the murky deck would have given out where you could have been, and searching the whole ship at such an hour would have been a waste of time. But this time you made a mistake. 

While trying to shift positions in the comfort of a deep shadow, you slipped onto the wet deck. Not badly, but enough to make a noise. If it hadn’t been for the lantern in the first mate’s hand, you wouldn’t have been able to tell that he was coming towards you. His clothes blended so well into the night. But so did yours, something you thought was boring. Though, it gave an advantage and allowed you to slip away for a moment, still aware that the first mate wasn’t stupid. He’d sniff out your tracks like a bloodhound in no time. Especially with where you were now. 

Stede’s quarters, the lights now dim and the soft snoring of the other captain audible every now and then. Izzy wouldn’t have to do more than peek through the small window to see you here. The dim lights even cast a shadow on the wooden flooring, determining your presence. 

Your heart was pounding, just like it always did when you fled from a fight. And you did so now even when you knew the person after you was someone you should have had respect for. Pouting, you realised you should have never stepped a foot on a ship. Who by accident disrespects the privacy of their captain and the commands of a first mate? 

Biting your bottom lip to keep the thoughts at bay and the tears far away, you pushed a closet door open, slid between the soft fabrics and closed the door the best you could. You crouched down, sitting alone in the closet like a scared child. A fast breath escaped, determined not to call it a sob. That would have been the last straw for you, if you cried now they might as well have you thrown overboard tomorrow morning. 

But even if the tears never came, the sob was heard. The door opened, but no one stepped in. He was smart enough not to barge in, unlike you. After what sounded like he had determined safe entry, the first mate finally stepped in. He called you silently by name, knowing the outcome but still tried. To his usual style, a few curses left him as Stede’s breathing pattern changed momentarily. Soon the dim light of the lantern shone right towards the closet, a straight line of light making its way right beside you through a crack. You didn’t feel like trying to run anymore. “Fucking, get out of there.” A snappy whisper came from the other side of the door, making you hug your knees. What a stew you’d brewed for yourself.

A groan rumbled from Izzy’s throat as he slowly opened the closet door, shining the light in only to find the person he’d been looking for at the bottom of it. He wanted to be mad, to tell you that he wasn’t a nanny and you weren’t a child. But the sight of you made him hold back slightly, offering you a hand. “Get up.” He said silently, you staring up at him before taking his hand. 

He led you out on the main deck, making sure to close the cabin door silently not to wake up Stede. He stayed silent until he’d brought you to the railing to which he leaned on, as a deep sigh left him. He brushed back his hair, leaning back ever so slightly as he turned to look at you. You held yourself, gaze avoiding his, not sure if he was mad at you. 

He’d always been better at you at the whole pirate thing, not that you’d known him for more than a year at maximum. But for some reason he chose to spend time with you. Which you’d never understood. Wouldn’t have it been more entertaining for him to talk to someone who understood him? “You know, I’ve fucking hated being here too.” He started, breaking the silence with a comment he was hoping to land somewhere near the reason why you’d been avoiding him. And the attempt somewhat worked, gaining your attention as your eyes finally moved to his form. “After Stede came along, and his…crew” He left the terms ‘fucking useless’ out for now, adding them in only in his inner monologue. You took a step closer, leaning on the railing, copying his mannerisms. “But you’re not useless.” You sighed, turning to look at the water, not wanting to see how he looked at you after. “I was to Edward for some time.” He replied, turning to one of the wooden containers on deck, rummaging through it, knowing there were a few bottles at the bottom of it. And he was right, of course. “You don’t need someone to be useful. I can’t even be useful to myself.” You shrugged, feeling somewhat better now that you were talking to him again, though still tense. “What use is an unused first mate?” He asked, giving you a look as he seemed to notice you weren’t picking up on what he meant, now that he’d finally caught up with the problem. It had been the fact that you kept fleeing after every minor failure. The first mate opened the bottle, the cap of it falling somewhere on the deck, the sound of it slowly rolling away as the ship swayed audible for a moment. 

You turned to look at him once more. “But you’re still skilled. Surely there is someone who’s in need of someone like you.” Izzy sighed, wanting to groan out of slight frustration because he wasn’t used to comforting people, but he kept that to himself. And he told himself that it was simply because you intrigued him, still a part of him knowing it was because he actually cared. But that was an emotion yet unknown to him. “At some point in sailing with the same crew, they become too close to leave behind. No matter how they treat you.” ‘That's family for you’, you thought to yourself, not having many other family dynamics to compare this to. But then again, he was correct. And something in you had known that this whole time. That’s why you hadn’t left the crew, but instead turned to hiding away. Because the crew had formed into a family. 

You fell into a silence, a comfortable one. Izzy followed along, offering you the rum bottle to drink from, not knowing many other ways to ease the feelings he knew all too well. He hadn’t been born with a sword in hand either, and he had the scars on his back as a reminder of who he had had to become in order to survive and live the life he’d been given. But if he could offer you an easier way to ease into this life, he could try. Wouldn’t have been the first time for him to find someone who just needed a little sharpening. 

You took a swig, placing the bottle on the railing, still holding the neck of it. You saw the crew in a better light now. Being able to kill someone wasn’t something that gained you respect and made you useful, that was only a skill most here knew only to survive and protect the family they’d found. The more you thought back to what you usually did for others, they always seemed to be thankful. It was the small tasks, the ones that no one else bothered to do that made the crew respect you as one of their own. But one thing was still unclear. Why did Izzy care? 

You handed the bottle to him, tilting your head. “Why do you care? Care enough to come look for me now..?” You asked, confused. Sure, you’d spent time with him and he was by far the only person from the crew you knew this well, but by the way he acted towards others you would have never guessed he would have been the person to come looking for you so persistently. The first mate took the opportunity to shut himself up before anything slipped past him by taking a long swig from the bottle. Though, eventually having to put it down. He cleared his throat, extending his time to think of an answer even he didn’t know. The air was tense now that he’d used all his getaway cards. 

A breath of the cool night air and he spoke. “Because I feel something for you”, shattering the silence from earlier. You stared at him, watching him take another swig, all words gone from your mind. Your mouth hung agape, wanting to tell him you felt the same but none of that came out. He’d helped you enough for tonight, you didn’t want to watch the poor man suffer any further. 

You took a hold of his hand, the one grasping the bottle oddly tight. Your touch eased the hold, making him turn to you. “And if you still want, I can-” He attempted to escape, but you knew by now how that always ended up. No one could run for forever, no matter how skilled they were. You gently took a step closer, awkward but still somehow leading. He wasn’t resisting, so you got closer. Still no words in mind, you thought this would have told him more than any of your stuttered words could. You kissed him, awkwardly, but it was the meaning behind it that mattered. It didn’t last long, not as long as similar actions in the future did. Yet he would continue to look at you with the same expression he had on his face now. One of melancholic surprise, like he was sad yet still caring. Confused. You both had something to work on, together. 

AN// Shoutout to clocks and time fr, it’s 5am again :”D Anyway I’ve healed from a fever and what I think was a sinus infection or still is??? Not sure man but I’m still holding on, trust. We'll see whatever ache attacks me next :"DD If this was proof read funny, I apologise. I'm tired xd

[azsazz]

CC3 Anon

spoilers under cut

Hiii it’s CC anon. THANK GOD YOU RESPONDED NO ONE ELSE I KNOW IS READING THIS BOOK 😭

I finished CC3 last night and yeah. I enjoyed the pacing at the beginning of this book more than the first two books because we’re already in the thick of the climax and don’t have to build up suspense again but omg it dragged in the middle.

I did not care for Ithan at all I’m sorry. And yes he hasn’t been a pro sun all player in YEARS idk why she keeps bringing it up. I think someone stumbled and he caught her and Sarah went “his sunball reflexes” HES A WOLF HE WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE QUICK REFLEXES. Had him running up and down to resurrect Sigrid and in the end it DIDNT EVEN MATTER.

Lmaoooo Ithan mostly acted ago appropriate if I think about it. He's like 20 I'm assuming since he's around college age. He's def not my favorite character either tbh. Love how everything fell into his lap tho. Literally anytime he was mentioned so was snuball it was so fucking dumb.

I know you like Tharion but can he do anything right omg. Ithan carried him with the Viper Queen. Sathia carried him in front of the Ocean Queen 😭 I WAS SO PISSED ABOUT THE ANTIDOTES OMG and then Ithan went and did the same. I see why they are best friends like wow stupid really follows stupid.

LMAO I love Tharion, yes he'd definitely dumb and needs to make better decisions but I liked how witty he was in the first book. He really needs to stop with the whole woe is me act tho. omg the antidotes shit don't even get me started. half of the stuff that she wrote for the book didn't even matter in the end. like, we could've cut this damn book down 300 pages tbh, nothing would've been missed because nothing made sense even.

I don’t hate Bryce. She did annoy me though. I hated when Aelin wouldn’t tell people about her plans and could not stand it from Bryce here. Her yelling at Hunt about having to face the consequences of their actions. I’m like dude you went to another world and came back powered up. Hunt stayed and was tortured brutally like what? I know why she doesn’t want him to have guilt about it but it’s his 3rd time going through this and failing. And now he has more to lose. Of course he would be feeling a type of way.

I do not like her at all lol. The whole not telling people plans things pissed me off because her loud mouth is not like that. AND THEN SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO TELL HUNT "OH YOU DONT EVEN WANT TO BE HERE" girl maybe if you told someone the fuckin plan they would feel a bit more confident about going through with it for fucks sake. she's a mean girl and i can't stand her and i don't think she's funny at all she is so cringe to me haha. HUNT HAS ALREADY TRIED GOING AGAINST THE ASTERI AND HE WAS TORTURED FOR 200 YEARS?! Then he gets freed and has to do it all over again?! Like, why are we yelling at this man? of course he's weary.

I’m not the biggest fan of her swagger at times. Like sometimes we don’t need the quippy (read: unfunny) one liners :/

LITERALLY

The STAKES???? Bryce should’ve stayed dead! It would have been a lot more impactful. Even the torturing scenes kind of didn’t hit as much after the fact cause everyone can just regrow their limbs and be fine. No one had a single nightmare about what happened to them? I thought we would see something like that beyond “a glimmer of darkness in his eyes” idk :/

The entire "someone dying only to be brought to life on the next page" has definitely fucking worn off now but sjm apparently can't see that. she created a world with 50+ characters only to not use half of them when it matters. so stupid. Also, i don't remember them being able to regrow limbs tbh.

Maybe the book would’ve been too long but I was genuinely shocked we didn’t get more scenes of anyone on the actual battlefield. We were mostly in the palace after Bryce and Hunt teleported, and then the moment with Lidia and the sprites. But maybe the book would’ve been too toooo long idk.

Yeah there really was only like 60 pages of the end scene. but as soon as i saw the word space i actually almost DNFd it because what the actual fuck was that.

I will say I really like how the male friendships are genuine. I honestly can’t tell you that Bryce, Fury, and June are friends LMAO. (I’m exaggerating but I do kinda agree with this) .

Yeah, i love Ruhn, dec, and flynn's relationship. i think sjm tries to be like "oh yeah girl power, strong fmc's" but there's no women in the books? and they all don't like each other? like danika, bryce, fury, and juniper seemed like mean girls? girls that didn't give a fuck about anyone else? idk. the way that the men to women ratio in her books is very interesting to me. and the fack that EVERY man that comes across bryce thinks she's the most gorgeous girl to have ever lived...fuck off with that logic.

My girl Jesiba :////// She was my favorite for sure. I'm indifferent about her lol. Her entire storyline i feel was just made up like two months ago so she could connect to the other series lol

I do agree with what you said about Bryce (I legit almost wrote Aelin LMFAO) . I was not expecting her to just say no rulers for the Fae at all. But I guess a Senate would be more democratic.

SO STUPID. The Senate (starwars)

Im sure there will be a fourth book but I am so uninterested in Tharion and Ariadne like who caresssssssss. If Im interested in Ithan, it’s because I want to see more Perry. I wonder how connected this world and ACOTAR will remain.

I honestly hope it ends at 4 books. I think that would be a perfect ending because there's four houses. no need for more im already sick of it. yeah i liked perry too. i hope they're no longer connected lol.

Ruhn and Lidia :) but HE LEGIT SHOT HER?? I know she was acting irrationally because of her sons and he wanted to make sure she didn’t get herself killed but then he shot her. Like okay 😭. I think my favorite couples are Bryce’s parents and Lidia and Ruhn. Ruhn just seems so hot 😭.

Ruhn is a winner for sure for sure.

I’m writing too much and I’m scared this app will just shut down so I’ll quit here. I still think the first book is the worst one in this series. But I had fun with this one (despite my hang ups) and I’m glad it’s over (for now :/).

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT!!!

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT TOO!

CC anon!! I went to goodreads to read reviews of the book and I genuinely cannot believe how many 5 star ratings this book got. I mean, I can and can’t believe it. Atp anything Sarah puts out will average at least a 4 star rating on there and sell a crap ton.

I think people just give her that rating because she's popular, not because they read lol. oh yeah, why do you think she released 5 different bonus chapters. talk about a greedy cash grab. that mentality kinda makes me sick im not even going to lie.

I was reading through the 2-star reviews and someone mentioned their shock at how quickly Ruhn and Lidia resolved their issues which I totally agree with. She said she hated him and would never forgive him for what he did, and she was right! I know why Ruhn did it, but I genuinely still cannot believe he actually shot her, even if she was gonna be okay. That’s a terrible time to be worrying about a wound like that when you want to be at full strength to fight for your children.

Yeah half of the plot lines felt stupid? like what? he couldn't have stopped her any other way...really? i feel like she did not think this book through as well as she thought she did tbh. seems to be her thing these days.

(Even when Hunt said he hated Bryce for stopping him from killing Celestina, I was like Oh!)

OMG THAT WAS ACTUALLY WILD. YEAH OKAY. I TOTALLY BELIEVE THEY'RE MATES.

The reviewer said Sarah should have left their relationship on the rocks so we could get Ruhn groveling in the fourth book, and I can’t get that idea out of my head. ESPECIALLY with their bonus scene. Idk if you’ve read it but I was like ??? I like them as a couple and I like their story, but it did seem like it was all patched up insanely quickly. Like if you shot me then the very LEAST you could do is get my kids to safety. That alone would not necessarily make me forgive you.

I didn't read their bonus chapter but i can't believe they moved in with each other literally after like two days of knowing each other in real life. bro, you just found out she has two kids? you don't know the woman at all lol. no, everyone has to have a happy ending by the last page of the book or else. lol. no suspense.

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Bee Movie

According to all known laws of aviation... eh, forget it. You know the rest.

So uh... Bee Movie is surprisingly pretty good? Yeah, I know, I'm surprised too. I mean of course, Bee Movie is an Iconic Staple of Meme Culture and for good reason, its humor is just... probably some of the most insane shit out of Dreakworks ever (more on that in a bit). But it's also a pretty compelling roller coaster ride of a movie that held my rapt interest the whole way through???

So what's the story here? Barry B Benson is a bee who ventures outside the hive and meets a florist named Vanessa, whom he of course falls in love with (and she falls for him too, its fuckin weird man). Eventually, Barry discovers that humans make a profit off the backs of bees by selling their honey, so he decides to sue the entire human race. Yeah that's really the fuckin plot they came up with. It's fucking wild, man, from start to end.

Our characters here are just as wild to match that crazy ass plot. Barry is a snarky lil fella, but you can tell he cares about his... people? Bees? Idk man this movie has short circuited my brain. Anyway, Barry is a fun character to follow as our main. Vanessa is a little less developed and kind of all over the place personality wise, and well... she falls for a bee. Enough said. Barry's best friend Adam is cool, almost dies from stinging a guy, so that's fun. We also have Ken, Vanessa's ex-boyfriend who literally gets cuckolded by a bee this movie is actually insane.

The comedy here is just... ridiculous. Again, there's a reason why this movie has produced so many iconic memes. I cackled out loud at some of these jokes and references, many of which I imagine would probably go over a kid's head (the Sting and Ray Liotta jokes especially like... c'mon those are some deep cuts). It's kind of breaking the recent trend I've been noticing from Dreamworks where they're aiming down for a younger audience. Instead, Bee Movie harkens back to their earlier movies, aimed more at adults with blink and you miss them naughty jokes that are actually really funny here?

The animation is also like... insanely impressive for the time this came out? Some of the camera angles and movement on these bees is just... amazing? The flying scenes really make you feel like you're flying along with Barry, taking you through densely colorful and sometimes actually beautiful setpieces. I also enjoyed the worldbuilding inside of the hive and all of the little devices they use to produce honey. I feel like this movie is doing what Antz was trying to do, but accomplishing it so much better, with way less Rancid vibes than Antz had.

The music is also fairly solid, not as many pop songs as you'd expect from a memey movie like this, but the ones that are very are pretty good and backed by a competent score. I think my biggest gripe with this film is... well, it's a little all over the place and out of focus? Like one minute it's about Barry struggling to figure out what he wants to do with his relatively short life, then its about him falling for Vanessa, then its about suing the humans, then its about restarting pollenation so the entire planet won't shrivel up and die? (yeah did I mention this film has an environmental message?) Really, this movie is kind of just... a jack of all trades and a master of none? All of its various plots are ok, but none of them are standout fantastic. It's just... a little messy??

But really, I did enjoy myself watching this movie. I didn't think I was going to, because its been years since I've seen it and well, the internet rags on it all the time, but it's surprisingly well-made! It really is Dreamworks at their most Dreamworks (warts and all) and I think that's a testament to why its so memorable (in both good and bad ways lol). Anyway I just got one last thing to say before wrapping up this review:

Ya like jazz?

Overall Rating: 7/10

Verdict: Watch the Entire Bee Movie but every time they say literally anything the movie starts over until you die

Previous Review (Shrek the Third)

Next Review (Kung Fu Panda)

[eroaneki]

I'm still so scared by what happened to me earlier this month. I feel like I had a legit mental breakdown. I still feel extremely raw and vulnerable and constantly on the edge of a panic attack, but I think that's more so because I'm afraid of not being able to control how I feel. Like that I feel completely out of control.

I literally triggered myself into a mental breakdown by drinking cold brew on an empty stomach. Like out of fucking no where had a massive injection of liquid caffeine directly into my bloodstream. And I was also coming off of weed. And it was... 3 days before my period. I think all of that combined with is what really sent me over the edge. I'm usually smarter about tapering myself off but I also have never had a 7 month period where I used daily. I think my longest has been like 2 months in the past. This has been basically daily use since like, January.

I've taken half of a 5mg edible twice in the last like 3 weeks because honestly I'm so fucking spooked I'm gonna end up going insane or something. I know it's unlikely. But man I miss the creativity weed gives me. My head isn't as loud anymore and quite honestly I feel "normal" I guess. Whatever my normal was when I was using daily. So I guess that means I've leveled out? But my heart keeps skipping throughout the day and it freaks me out and I hate it and I've already had everything ruled out by the cardiologist so it just is what it is I guess. I'm fine according to them.

Idk existence is scary as fuck. But I guess you have to have bigger balls than life and that's how you win. Just growing those balls into a massive force takes so much time and effort and "do it scared" mentality. I understand why people scream when they do things that scares them. It pushes them forward. Gives them the strength to do it.

Also side note, I hate adrenaline? I run so high in the morning and I know it's my body trying to wake me up but could you not? Can you be more gentle about it? Also life without coffee is fucking ROUGH. My heart pounds too fast when I drink it and quite honestly I don't need the extra stimulation in the morning so I've switched to tea, but occasionally I'll pour myself like 2-4 oz of coffee and sip slowly on that. Usually on the days I'm home.

God I feel like I have no idea how to survive as a person sometimes. I just feel like I'm walking blind. It sucks. Really badly. But I'm okay for the most part now. I still get a little shaky driving but again, I just think I'm scared I'm gonna freak out again while driving. I'm so scared of what happened to me that I'm trying every which way I can to avoid it happening again. It's rough. Rough rough rough but for the most part I'm fine.

My outlook is mostly positive and I feel more of my piss and vinegar self coming back, which is nice. But yeah. Still definitely licking my wounds and a little worried about my period coming up this month. But I have my emergency lavender and Xanax and sweet smelling body scrubs and ice pack and everything else I use to help calm anxiety lol

I also have a really good support group and I started therapy, though I did have to cancel my appointment for tomorrow because my new insurance doesn't kick in until 8/1. Annoying but I know it's not the end of me ever going to therapy ever again. Just have to wait probably another week 🙃

[bbgmessi]

O!Erling and A! Odegaard enjoying a lazy Saturday Morning:

Martin is frustrated after yesterday's game and feels like he failed his team despite his trying his best. Man City is quickly climbing the ladder behind Arsenal, and Erling(though elated) is understanding of his boyfriend's feelings

He gets up early and makes him a breakfast in bed with all his fav things.

(IDK much about Norwegian food Lefse was very good but I have the weirdest food preferences so you help me w what you think Martin would like but whatever it is Erling makes it)

(do swedish ppl and norwegian ppl eat similar food? Sorry for the proximity bias lol)

Martin is upset at first waking up alone

But he hears his man in the kitchen and calms himself down

I headcannon Erling doesn’t like breakfast food so maybe he makes himself a mini pizza

Erling’s hatred of breakfast would always make martin laugh bc its very out of character for him

Erling bringing up the food 

They are silent until theyre half way done w their meal

Alot to unpack

Some media sources contributing their shit performance due to his “distraction” aka his relationship w Erling

A LOAD of online hate from supporters and opponents

Fans worried Erling is tryng to sabotage him mentally so Arsenal fumbles the league

Opponents just saying this is what happens when you sleep w S*ts 

Live love twitter trolls you know. 

Erling reaffirms that he was the heart of the game and that he did his best 

Real fans still love him and if he wants to do better he needs to keep his head up

Martin in turn checking on haaland bc of the missed pk

Erling’s dm’s always weird b/c 50% normal hate 

Like ppl saying hes a machine and he ran out of oil and thats why he missed the shot (Completely igoring his other goal)

Others saying its an example of omegas craking underpressure

Hyperanlysing the kick and saying its indicative of a bad future 

Despite the fact that its like the only goal he’s missed????

Twats

Some fans want an end to their relationship bc it stresses THEM out as if Erling’s personal life is their business

The Erling are Marting are in love and trolls wont change that 

 Martin is very appreciative of his boyfriend’s gesture  and he show it.

The two usually have such strict schedules but for now they’ll relax with their food and a harry potter marathon (I see them adopting a yellow lab so perhaps their dog is in bed watching with them.

ok before answering the hcs i’m so fascinated by u anon when did u try lefse ❤️ we do eat some similar food but not all but also i like to hand wave around it and claim scandinavian privilege for fic purposes❤️ (sometimes i just make up what fits my ideas best. it’s my universe now)

martin knowing disappointment so well, he’s lost enough games with norway, spent enough time loaned out from rm and all that so arsenal kinda choking is such a dark but familiar feeling for him 😔 so erling tries his hardest to help him relax by making breakfast for him… it’d be so funny if erling was like hey babe did you see what they’re saying about us. and martin is all. you shouldn’t read that you know but erling just finds it funny how much people hate him so he’ll read out loud from his phone about how people think he has an evil master plan to destroy martins psyche so city can come out on top (as if i’d do that to team norway.. fuck up our team dynamic forever just for that… he sighs)

also about the penalty kick.. that was like the first one he’s missed in what two years??? but people are tearing him DOWN over it, and martin can sense that he doesn’t really find it that funny anymore. maybe it’s getting to him a little:(( like erling is not even twenty three and he’s trying and working SO hard and martin makes sure he knows that it’s appreciated but trolls online are SO harsh. they both just need a pick me up lol

[turnupfortragedy]

i miss my mom rn. she passed away a year ago. i never really liked her much or loved her much while she was here. mainly because she did so much to traumatize me in the name of “being a good parent”. but idk she was totally right those silly fb or pintrest or wherever boomer “meme” images like in you teens u hate ur mom then in your 20s this in yours 30s this and im like hey im in my 30s now and i could really just use like that unmatched mothers love feeling. i never felt it then because i was so deattached from her. she hurt me a lot in many ways but she might have loved me. idk if i will ever know. how do you know if people love you? i always just thought if you can do and say these things to me how can you say you love me? but i used to curse her under my breath and just talk about how much i hate her and wouldnt be sad when she was gone... im sad because she was an interesting person i wouldve never chose in my circle but as my mother i see that there were these times i did need her but she always needed my help and i never noticed when she needed me she inadvertantly was helping me get something i needed. we didnt get along on traditions or points of view typically but idk i could be brutally honest and she knew and accepted that about me. sometimes shed say she was jealous because she wish she had my strength to speak up and “fight” when needed. and idk maybe i need that now. i feel so disconnected from everything and everyone. i feel like im just barely here like a weird faded version of me that you can hardly read but like you can see the words but time has worn em down. we had some good times in between allllll the fucked up bad shit and i yearn to go on a pointless drive with someone so open to do whateverin the name of curing boredom and monotony. id love to go get shitty $5 breakfast and laugh so loud the other diners feel uncomfortable. id kill to just go for a drive with my mom so she can annoy me about all the family drama going on and buy me a crappy shirt from kohls and try to sing lyrics to songs she doesnt know and buy my love and apologize for all the damage she did. i forgive you mom and im sorry if it was hard to handle having a child so different from what you knew about life. i wish we had something better but this is nice too

[kimakento]

WHEN I CAN’T FALL ASLEEP

synopsis: he’s never there, and you’re sick of it. ⌙ 1.0k

pairing: bf!shiroiwa ruki x fem!reader

genre: angst

warnings/tags: ruki’s pretty toxic, lashing out, language, hurt and no comfort, guys idk [ignore typos]

a/n: haven’t written angst in a while so here y’all go….user kimakento angst return soon perhaps??

it happened again.

it was the fourth time in a row. despite that, here you were, waiting in your shared apartment; akin to a kicked puppy. a shaky breath escaped your lips as you leaned into the soft couch.

your thoughts were scattered, making your head reel. but that wasn’t the only thing you fought. slumber called your name — and of course it would, it was half-past three in the morning — yet you had seemed to escape it.

‘where was he?’ was the question that filled your thoughts. your living room was dark, the bright lights being turned off only a couple minutes ago; perhaps because you’d always felt like you could face anything in the dark ever since childhood. it shielded you. from what exactly, you weren’t entirely sure.

interrupting your thoughts, a loud jingle echoed from outside only moments later — a bunch of keys rattling while one turned in the lock. your breath hitched slightly, anticipating the man you’d waited so long for, but the usual excitement you felt whenever he stepped in never came.

you froze in your spot when the door closed shut again.

all you could decipher were the negative emotions: fatigue, frustration and sadness. his light footsteps moved closer, padding through the hallway.

were you really such an insignificant part of his life? who were you to him? did he even value you as his girlfriend?

the sound of the switch being flipped echoed through the room, and in an instant, the sudden brightness of the lights flooded the space, overwhelming your senses. it felt as though the light was piercing through the darkness, momentarily blinding you and forcing you to squint as your eyes adjusted.

but the expression clouding ruki’s face was all too familiar; a mix of surprise but firmness.

“why’re you up?” the sentence was sharp, cutting through your senses immediately. he stood in-front of you, clad in casual clothes; sweatpants and a black hoodie. “it’s late.”

you could imagine where the conversation was headed. you could’ve somehow avoid it by acting complacent and shutting your mouth. but no, you were so tired. tired of being the one disregarded and never getting a say. tired of the one he never even gave a slightest damn about.

“i was waiting for you.” you said. “you know, like how a normal girlfriend would do.”

two fingers pinched the bridge of his nose. “what are you getting at?”

”you’ve been coming home late.”

“so? you know i’m an idol. i have things to do. i work late sometimes.”

he didn’t get it. and he wasn’t trying to.

you insisted once again. “but it’s not just that, ruki. you missed our second anniversary last week and you were a no-show for our date night, with no explanation, i might add.”

ruki watched as you stood up, with hands on hips.

“this again?”

“huh?” you looked up at him in confusion.

“you being needy.” the man’s voice was cold. “i just said i’m a fucking idol. this kinda stuff just happens. you knew that before we started dating, [name].”

“wow.” you blinked once, then twice in utter disbelief. “just wow. why is it whenever i talk about what i’m feeling that it’s made out to be nothing? i’m a person too. fucking hell, ruki.” when you stepped closer to him, that absent look only served your exasperation.

“stop this. why do you always do this? it’s always me being painted out as the bad guy, you’re just unbearable at this point. do you want me to throw everything away for you? well, i'm sorry, but it's not my fault that you're acting so goddamn crazy over something so stupid.” he snapped.

in that moment, you came to a huge realisation. shiroiwa ruki had never cared enough to put you first; he never would. there was no use in still attempting to help your boyfriend see what he refused to and stayed blissfully ignorant to, but the lump in your throat persisted, reminding you of one thing; detaching yourself from someone that you held love towards pained you. however was it ever worth it if you were being hurt in the process?

‘was love worth it anymore?’ seemed like the right question. yet, you didn’t know.

“that’s not what this is about, and you know it.” there was a bitter taste in your mouth that you tried to swallow back thickly. “there’s only so much i can take.” your voice dwindled with every word.

ruki groaned, visibly frustrated. with his brows knit, he stood his ground.

“why do you always have to be so emotional, huh? i don’t owe you my life just cause we’re together. you’re just being unreasonable! i have a job and i also have duties to fulfil towards it.”

“so do i? but you don’t even do the bare minimum anymore. you never— i’m the one keeping this relationship afloat even when it feels like i’m sinking.” you paused and met his eyes, reading the crazed look that painted them. “i will not do that to myself anymore— putting you or the relationship you clearly don’t want above myself.”

“what?” the man’s tone had softened now.

“i’m done, ruki.” your voice broke. “i can’t deal with all this— you anymore.”

you walked away from him, grabbing a coat, awkwardly moving to put it on with one hand. your returned to pocket your phone and look at him.

but once ruki’s lips part, struggling to find the words. “[name]—“

“don’t bother.” you cut him off harshly. “i’ll come back to get all my stuff back when i’ve calmed down.”

“you can’t just leave. can’t we just handle this like adults?”

“believe me, i’ve tried one too many times.”

he was turned towards you now, frantically watching as you moved to leave. “but—“

“please don’t.” a whispered plead.

trudging your feet towards the door, you slip on your shoes, and collect your car keys from the hanger near it.

and with one last glance around, you stepped foot outside, the harsh breeze wisping your way.

reblogs are heavily appreciated!

[spade-club]

I know this is an ask game but Im bored and wanted to answer all of them sooooo B)

🌲 well in terms of how many we've been aware of, we started with like 8 but since have discovered lots and lots of us that have been around forever, I think the official count right now is 32 but I /know/ theres quite a few more.

🌻 "when kurby swallows mario he become de kart" -Olli

🌾 I have a whole playlist actually! but I gotta say We Are Broken by Paramore reaaaallly gets me personally.

🌙 we have quite a few special relationships but I think most of all our family dynamic is suuper important to us! Donnie, Cass, & Olli find their siblingship very important, particularly.

🌊 couldnt call them inside jokes if everyone knew about them.

🌺 Rose's room is kinda the most important place we have because shes the only one who actually uses the innerworld casually lately. its all pink and black and white & she has a canopy bed. there are candles everywhere. & she even has a vanity and a bay(?) window :) peak comfy space for her to zone out in tbh

🌍 kiiind of?? for those of us who are capable of thinking in pictures the innerworld is great & even partially malleable. we do have someone in charge of the innerworld, but they're rarely around to mess with stuff so its basically for Rose and Chloe and sometimes one of the kids.

🐛 personal opinion (from Cass, hi) is that Bee has made the most progress of all of us since finding out about the system. she used to be very antagonistic and forceful (internally) but spending more time in the real world and making connections and having a partnership has really taught her how to use her energy for good & now wants to make everyone genuinely happy as often as she can, both in sys and in our partner sys!

🍂 idk how to make fusion happen! but theres a few of us who want to whenever we can figure it out

☀️ We like leaving notes for eachother but most of our communication is either out loud or in very loud vivid thought conversations when we cant talk.

🌱 Im pretty open about it in my personal life, most of my friends either know or im comfy hinting about it around them. (ofc most of my friends are systems themselves) but professionally and with my family no one knows!

🌄 oh for sure, I havent had as many doubts lately as I am very aware of how my system dynamics affect my everyday life, but I still very frequently feel kinda "cringe" about acknowledging it because talking about it can feel unnatural sometimes :/

🗻 again it depends on who you ask, many of us have no ties to the innerworld at all, but for Rose it is her home as much as our physical home is (if not more?)

🍁 Names come about in different ways for different ppl. though a lot of it is from music. Donnie got both his online & irl names from songs (What a Catch, Donnie.) Chloe was from the Grouplove song. Cloud (short for Collide) came from Collide With The Sky, the PTV album. Juice is a nickname from my real name. & Candle Rose are just two things she really likes aesthetically lol. most of the rest were a bit more random tho

🌈 Most of us consider ourselves human but as far as self inserts, characters & other such AUs Donnie is a fairy (occasionally a vampire too,) Rose is a vampire, Olli is wolf boy, Cass is a puppet of sorts. & the genuine non-humans are CeCe who is an angel, & Ghost who,, is a ghost

🦔 I miss Indie all the time where the FUCK did she go?? Olli has also been hibernating for a minute, miss that kid :(

👥 My partner & my best friend are both pretty good with understanding when I unmask fully. Some of us, however, still have trouble not unsettling our autistic friends when we unmask. Donnie in particular tends to get a very polarized reception, for that reason. everyone thinks hes mad all the time but really he's just quiet.

🦚 honestly we're pretty open about it & tend not to mask too hard anywhere so I would consider us overt but overtness is a complicated concept because no one who doesnt already know would know, yk? (Olli does mask in public pretty well though!)

DID / OSDD ask game

🌲 How has your numbers of parts changed over time?

🌻 Favorite quote from a part.

🌾 Any songs you relate to DID / OSDD?

🌙 Share a special relationship between parts.

🌊 Any inside jokes in your system?

🌺 Describe one part of your inner world.

🌍 Can you change your inner world and access it freely?

🐛 Which part made a lot of progress?

🍂 Did a fusion happen in your system?

☀️ How do you all prefer to communicate?

🌱 How open are you about your DID / OSDD?

🌄 Did you ever went through phases of denial?

🗻 How much does your inner world feel like home?

🍁 How do your parts get their names?

🌈 Are there any parts who view themselves as something other than human? Or who have supernatural powers?

🦔 Are there any parts of you that you miss?

👥 Is there a person you all can be yourselves around?

🦚 Ho covered / overt is your DID / OSDD?

❔ (ask any other question)

[1d1195]

I SUCK at remembering passwords😭 and I seriously don’t remember why I even logged out in the first place lol

Honestly would 100% recommend bluey lol oddly enough I have a friend who genuinely enjoys paw patrol and I love that for him lol NOW THOSE LYRICS ARE A LITTLE TOO REAL😭 I’ve never imagined myself getting married or being a wife and as I was younger I was slightly more open to the idea but now I genuinely don’t care or even want ya know?? Idk I guess I have a fear I’ll end up like my parents HAHAH and I think it’s because people mainly from what I’ve seen like the “idea” of marriage but idk girl it’s a lot to unpack lol But I did love watching say yes to the dress growing up lol

ALSO Sam, fuck people honestly! It’s annoying to hear but the correct time will come for you to live out your dream wedding experience!

The TA lecture…. Tell me why I kinda got my image of him shattered 😭the experience was not making sense in my fantasy😭 the topic was alright like in theory it was interesting but I guess he was sort of giving “know it all vibes” during the lecture and while he was answering questions??? Which is CRAZY to me because during his office hours/other interactions I’ve had with him he’s not like that?! And my friends said the same thing too?? Idk maybe he was nervous which is understandable! Idk 😭(I know TA Harry would never😭)

Anyways HOW WAS YOUR TRAHSY BOOK?! DID IT GIVE?!

Also LOVED THE DRYER SHEET UPDATE!!! I had missed them! I LOVED READING IT! Now NIALL PUNCHING HARRY?!? the way I GASPED AND SAY “NIALL” out loud?! CRAZY?! but kinda loved it 🤭 and the cuddling scene was just so adorable like omg 😭 I love the dryer sheets couple so much! You did such a good job as always!

Hope your break went well and that your week has started off well!! Sending all the love!!-💜

Sometimes I just be doing stuff and log out for no reason. I get it 🤣

I have wanted nothing more than to be married and have kids and a family but now that I'm pushing 30 I'm still in a very happy committed relationship. Idk maybe this is it for me. It's not bad. Like I said, it's just everyone else being judgmental af lol Please unpack any time I would love to hear it. My parents love language is arguing. There's no other reason. They're so much work. I don't want to end up like that.

RIP YOUR TA I'M DEVASTATED. I hope he was nervous. that's so tragic! TA Harry WOULD never. TA Harry would tell the whole class he was nervous before starting the lecture.

My trashy romance was so good. It was 👌 Enemies to lovers 😍 It was three novellas in one book and the girls in it were STEM ladies and super important in their fields. They were dumb in love but brilliant. It was magical. Very Miss Wildflower of them if I do say so myself.

I know I mentioned my love/hate relationship with Love and Dryer Sheets. I had been picturing Niall punching Harry (someone had to do it) I also rewatched New Girl like a month ago and there was an episode where the two girls get in a verbal disagreement and the boys are like "just punch each other; it solves things faster" and I thought it was so funny 🤣 Niall's just a baby though, he'd never do that in real life hehehehe I think someone suggested they wanted check-ins of them just being in love doing laundry and being normal which makes sense since they were striving to be a boring couple that love laundry and all their drama was centered around getting together. So now they're just going to do laundry which is great.

Hope you're having a good week, I'm excited to hear what you think about tomorrow's update! :)

xoxo

[skelly-words]

i have more sukuna hcs <3

this is more of a word vomit than anything i almost didn’t wanna tag it T_T

some are nsfw, so 18+ only please and ty

he hardly ever smiles unless he’s laughing, but getting a bright genuine smile out of him is really rare. he looks so sweet when his confident smirk is switched for a pretty smile. if you tease him about it, he’ll get a little shy.

on that topic, i think any overt happiness or joy would make sukuna really guarded. over time, he’d get more comfortable with how much joy you give him. when he feels that happy, it’s easy to remember that at any point you could just leave. (not that you would. plz)

not necessarily a jealous boyfriend, though. sukuna is more protective than jealous. he keeps you from bumping your head on the doorframe getting out of his car, gently guides you by the hand so you don't stumble into objects or other people, and adjusts your clothes when skin you don't want out starts to show.

he likes to see your different reactions to things, finding them more interesting than whatever the two of you are doing; how you softly smile when your favorite song comes on or startle at a loud noise.

sukuna is thoughtful and attentive but he hides it under a really thick layer of assholery. even later in your relationship, he will roll his eyes so far back if you ever call him sweet. the only time you're allowed to dote on him is his birthday, maybe. on any other day, you have to be just as flippant about your small favors and affection.

he’s so A$AP rocky. my evidence is just a song list, ima pyo; goldie, babushka boi, lord pretty flacko jodye 2, far away (by yebba). he be that pretty motherfucker, idk that else to say.

he’s an undercover nerd. heavily reads sci-fi to make it even worse (because now he’s a geek too). he’s not embarrassed about being smart, but it’s not expected of him. trust he wears reading glasses while reading Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. but his grades are decent too, he’s just a thinker like that.

the glasses hc is kinda based off how i think he’s far-sighted from playing sports a lot growing up and not getting into reading until later. he also thinks glasses are really cute on you too, twins!

sukuna just doesn’t care for school. In fact, i'm gonna say he drops out during his senior year (your junior year). which tested the quality of your relationship because you had to do long distance for a while. and that’s why (if you read my other hcs) he wants to get married after you graduate, because you’re crazy to think you’re ever leaving his side again.

did i mention that he has the worst fucking avoidant attachment issues ever (i have). “you’re smothering me.” “i’ve just been busy, i’m not dodging your calls.” but then you get hurt and ignore him and then he has a whole episode where he realizes that he’s not an emotionless robot and he really misses you so much. what a complicated guy, thank god he’s not my man, right? 🧍‍♀️hell yeah

i’m very torn between what he does after dropping out though, naturally i wanna say one of the trades (mechanic because he’s a car guy, ew). but this is sukuna, so a life of scamming and stealing is entirely possible. does he own an unregistered firearm? idk. either way, he provides, and that’s what counts.

he has a horrible habit of undressing you with his eyes while in public. sometimes you catch him looking straight through your clothes, like he’s perfectly memorized how you look naked. nobody else can really tell, but you get so flustered over it anyway. he’s so embarrassing.

okay, maybe controversial, but i don’t think he likes receiving head that much. i mentioned before that he jokes about it in the car, but in reality blowjobs just aren’t that satisfying to him. not that he’d ever turn one down either, but he’d rather do something where he has more of you to hold and sink his teeth into. from the back?

he’s a spicy food kinda guy. all he knows is be bisexual, eat hot chip, and lie. oops, yeah, i think he’s bi too. it’s just a male athlete thing, getting all sweaty in those locker rooms makes them a little gay, or so i’ve been told.

he eats pussy like a comfort meal, so the best brain is on his worst days. he woke up late, got stuck in traffic because of the rain, forgot his gym bag for practice, stepped in a puddle, didn’t bring his laptop charger either, the card reader on the vending machine was broken, etc. etc. getting lost between your thighs is self care for him. because at the end of the day, no matter how hard it was, he can still have you cumming in minutes.

he’ll pull out just to shove his fingers in your pussy instead. not entirely for your enjoyment, but because he needs his fingers lubed up so he can put them in your butt.