#idk. i just miss it sometimes. life is so loud all the fucking time and i wish i had been given a choice is all...

[hella1975]

this isn't meant to like. make you give your opinion on Discourse™️ or anything I just wanted to ask, but I keep seeing people upset about taylor dating mr. 1975 and I can't figure out if it's bc he's a terrible person or just a greasy alcoholic 😭😭😭 do you know what's up with that guy??? like on one hand I like not knowing things about celebs and I should keep it that way. but also

i, unfortunately, do know what's up with that guy and it's that he's said something problematic about every faction of society at least once. for me i have some weird, reluctant fondness for him because he is just a train wreck and he's such a twat all the time that at least it's nondiscriminating, and i also like that when he sings about mental illness it's bc he's actually BEEN THERE and been publicly a mess bc of it and been addicted to drugs and acted like a dick, and he ACKNOWLEDGES THAT, but also at no point am i gonna jump on the 'he's an amazing person' parade bc generally he is just a sleazy idiot. it is weird watching people suddenly dragging up every single thing he's ever said to be like 'look! this is why he's bad for our tay tay!' when the running joke with matty healy is that he's just a prick. like u dont need to expose his moral fibre. u can just say he's a prick. and also as funny as the jokes are she's still a grown woman who's been around the block a few times when it comes to dating. i think she will be okay maybe

[crypt1dcorv1dae]

Honestly I'm eternally grateful for noise cancelling technology, I would probably be in fucking jail without it tbh cus overstimulation is one thing that makes me REEALLY PISSED OFF, but I do wish my earbuds' noise cancelling worked a little?? better??? Like I feel like the headphones I had were more... Like... Complete silence. Not COMPLETELY complete, I could still hear my own Bodily Processes and some louder sounds, but idk they definitely were like... Stronger than this. I could still use them I suppose, I would just have to charge them, but they just aren't very comfortable to wear for longer periods of time, especially with it being hot out

Sometimes I just want silence ykno? Just complete silence. Not even hearing myself, or my breathing or chewing or WHATEVER, just total... Nothing. Just sometimes.

[99woez]

don't talk about it ᰔᩚ j.sc

warnings. smut, best friend!sungchan, roommate!sungchan, arguing, it's a dumb argument but you are fighting this man, physical fighting, just shoving nothing crazy but a physical altercation starts this all, unprotected sex, hair pulling, some angst? idk if i missed something let me know! i also did not proofread this because i got out 5k words in one night which is crazy for me. anyways, enjoy!

wc. 5k

summary. your best friend embarrasses you in front of your campus crush. so, of course, you decide to fight with him in the living room and learn some interesting things about him in the process.

Sungchan had always been stupidly large, in your opinion.

He was so large that you couldn’t resist the urge to playfully test his strength, curious to see how his fit frame would react to your playful jabs or if he would sway with a gentle nudge. He would playfully push you back, never with full force, but these light-hearted scuffles became a regular part of your friendship. It was a source of joy, a shared silliness, it meant everything.

Except for the times it did.

“You’re so stupid sometimes, oh my god!” You shouted at your so-called “best friend,” shoving hard into his chest. This shove wasn’t like the ones you usually gave him. This one was harsh and mean. There was not a semblance of anything alluding to happiness on your face as you looked up at Sungchan with knitted brows and parted lips, shoving hard into his firm chest once again, this time with a shout of frustration.

If we’re being honest, you two have been drinking. It’s not like you’re shitfaced and neither is he, but the alcohol is just enough to make the world blurry at the edges and your words harsher than you typically allow them to be. His chest, solid as a boulder beneath your pushing palms, doesn't yield like it usually would during your fond roughhousing. He stands firm, his expression teetering between annoyance and worry.

"Stop it," he gruffly says, grabbing your wrists mid-shove. Just like that, the playful laughter that usually echoes between you two gets choked in the tension-filled silence. You try to yank your hands-free, but his grip is firm yet gentle. He was never rough with you, even when the fights turned serious like this. It was a rarity for things to turn nasty, but sometimes Sungchan was so oblivious you couldn’t stop yourself from lashing out at him, especially with a few mixed drinks in your system.

“Let go,” You snapped. Sungchan leans in with a tilt of his head, letting out a “Hm?” as he does so, challenging you.

“Chill out first.” That did the exact opposite of chill you out. You hated it when he took that tone of voice with you, as if you were some child that needed to be put into a timeout. 

There were many things you loved about Sungchan: His kindness, his dedication to anything he sets his mind to, his eyes, you loved a lot about Sungchan, but there were many things you couldn’t stand about him. He was oblivious to the simplest of social cues, he got loud when he was drunk, and the way he comforted people was an absolute joke. If you hadn’t known him for more than half your life and shared an apartment with him, you would’ve ditched him when you two graduated high school.

But you didn’t. Now, you’re stuck with a big, dumb roommate who loves telling the men you like that you like them. God, Wonbin was never going to talk to you again after the scene Sungchan caused trying to get him to give you his number. You still can feel the embarrassment hot in your veins, making you lurch forward and finally give his chest a shove that makes him stumble a few steps.

“I won’t chill out! I won’t! What you did was fucking rude!” You yelled, pointing a finger in his face to punctuate your words and get your point across. Sungchan scoffed, turning his head away from you, but you could see his tongue press against the inside of his cheek, making the skin push out slightly. It was a habit of his you had noticed when you two went to parties together in college. It’s what he does when he’s annoyed and holding himself back, beating someone’s ass. It’s a rare occasion for Sungchan to beat someone’s ass, but when it did happen, it was always deserved. Typically, it would be a drunk guy who wanted to buck up to the biggest guy at the party, a one-sided battle of masculinity that Sungchan always won, no matter who came up to him. You’ve only seen Sungchan throw a punch twice in your entire friendship.

Once, when you were in high school, and the last time was at a party during your junior year of college when a man put his hands on you despite you telling him to fuck off. The other times, he had simply told you about when you’d see him in the kitchen with littered bruises on his body. You think about that night more often than you’d like to admit. Sungchan didn’t hesitate to throw a punch for you, knocking the man clean out by the time he was done with him. It lit a fire in you that you’re not proud to admit. There was just something in his eyes that rubbed your brain right. You would never admit it, but were desperate to see that look again. You wanted to see him angry, to watch him lose control no matter how fucked up it sounds.

“Get your hand out of my face,” Sungchan told you firmly, looking you in the eyes to get his point across, but you weren’t deterred. You step closer to him, finger still in his face.

“No. Not until you apologize. Admit it was rude. You were rude.”

“I wasn’t fucking rude,” Sungchan argues, swatting your hand down when you don’t move it from his face. You bring it back up without a care of the consequences, resulting in a game of him swatting your hand down every time you bring it up.

You two look stupid. Thank God this is in the privacy of your living room.

“You had no right-”

“You were never going to talk to him if I didn’t! You’re a chicken-”

“I’m not a fucking chicken––Oh my god, don’t call me a bird.”

“You’re such a fucking chicken, dude. Do you remember how long it took you to even talk to Shotaro? Months. ‘Took you months to even say hi to him, and that’s because-”

“Shut up.”

“That’s because I had to step it! I was the one to get you to talk to him!” Sungchan continued with a shit-eating grin, voice picking up volume as he leaned down to get closer to you as if you couldn’t hear him clear enough, pointing to himself like he had won some kind of award. Your already flushed cheeks begin to heat up when you remember the Shotaro incident of 2022. He always brought up Shotaro, and even if it was just to pick on you playfully, it still struck a nerve. You were more shy than Sungchan ever was, always letting him start the conversations or introduce you to new people. Half of your friends are Sungchan’s friends; half of the people you’ve dated are because Sungchan knew them first. Every connection in your life could be traced back to Sungchan, which drove you insane.

“Now, you want to talk all this shit because you got embarrassed I had to step in again and help you get some dick,” Sungchan pressed, his grin turning into a smirk as he nodded at his words, feeling them in his being because they’re true. You stared at him with contempt, teeth grinding as your fists balled up tightly. “You should be thanking me. You’re so ungrateful for everything-”

You lunged at him. You swear you don’t have control of your body when you do it, you just throw your entire weight into his chest and hope for the best. Sungchan let out an “Oof!” sound when you collided with him, staggering back and hitting the ground with you on top of him. You act as if you two are playfully wrestling, but none of your movements have an ounce of playfulness in them. You straddled his hips firmly as you shoved at his hands harshly to get them away from grabbing you. You knew once he got his hands on you, it was over. He’d flip you two over, and it’d be done. You couldn’t let him win this. You couldn’t do it. You had to prove it to him.

You don’t know what it was, but you had to prove it.

You grab his hair tightly, jerking his head off the carpet to distract him, tugging hard on the brown locks. Sungchan lets out a yelp that sounds pathetic. His eyes squeezed shut as his large hands wrapped around your wrist to try and pull you off of him.

“Not fair-” He started. You shake his head, eliciting another yelp from him.

“Shut up. Shut the fuck up,” You spat at him, shaking him again. His face contorted in pain and confusion, groaning softly as he did what you told him for once. You couldn’t believe he actually listened. Truthfully, you didn’t think you’d get this far. You’re not exactly sure what to do next. So, you shake his head again, making him hiss when you tugged harder on his locks. “Can’t fucking stand you, you know that? You’re such a jerk sometimes. Just big, stupid, and taking up space.” You shake his head around with every word, watching him drop his hands and put them up in front of him in faux surrender, but he doesn’t say anything. He only whined and grunted when you pulled on his hair harder than usual.

You waited for him to spit something back at you, to call you a coward, to say you needed him, but nothing but pants left his plush lips. You furrow your brows in confusion at his silence. Sungchan was never quiet. You shake him again.

“Hello? Say something!” You shake his head again, this time back and forth. You won’t lie. It was fun to have him like this. He acted like some kind of puppet that you were the master of, pulling him around in whichever direction you wanted him to go in, and he just took it. Sungchan sighed in defeat, keeping his eyes shut tightly.

“My dick just twitched.” 

Oh.

“Excuse me?” You couldn’t think of anything else to say. Your hands, which had been roughly pulling at Sungchan's hair, suddenly freeze. Your heart pounds in your chest as you gaze down at him, cocking a brow at him. His face is flushed a deep crimson, though whether from embarrassment or something else, you can't tell.

"I said," he starts again, much slower this time, swallowing hard, "My... my dick just twitched."

You blink at his repeated confession, not expecting him to repeat the words. There’s a tension growing between the two of you that you’ve never felt before, making your throat dry as you stare at Sungchan’s embarrassed face, watching his chest rise and fall as he pants beneath you. Flashes of what he’d look like without his shirt flash in your brain, wondering what sounds he’d make as you sink down on him, how his eyes would look, how the muscles would ripple under his––Jesus Christ, get it together, girl. You remind yourself, clearing your throat down at him.

“Like…Seriously?” Sungchan nods at your dry words, opening his eyes slowly to look up at you. A switch in your brain is flipped when you see his big brown eyes. He looks utterly pathetic like this, hair in your hand revealing his forehead, eyes pleading for something silent, and lips in a perfect soft pout. You wanted to take his picture like the actual definition of pitiful.

You chuckle at him, shaking him again and tugging his hair hard to see if it really did anything for him. He whines again, shutting his eyes as his hands lurch towards your hips, holding tightly with a sharp breath through his teeth. You smirk at his reaction, raising your brows in slight shock it was this easy to get him going. Maybe it was the alcohol, you think. You’ve seen Sungchan shove his tongue down girls’ throats just mere minutes after he met them, but this is you. You’re his best friend, his roommate, the girl who beat his ass for talking to her crush for her. You know you’re pretty, and Sungchan is just a man, but you’re still caught off guard by it all.

Your palm still cradled his scalp, thumb lazily tracing small circles at the base of his hairline. Sungchan’s hands on your hips squeeze gently, fingers digging into your flesh just a bit more than necessary and causing a shiver to wind its way up your spine.

Without thinking, you leaned forward and claimed Sungchan's lips in a rough, desperate kiss. His taste was different than any guy you've ever kissed - salty with a hint of beer and lime from the drink he had tonight. You wrapped your hand tightly around the hair at the nape of his neck, pulling him closer to you as your other hand found its way under his shirt to feel his warm skin. You didn't let up when he moaned into your mouth, feeling your touch while he tentatively kissed you back. Your anger turned into desperation quickly as you slipped your tongue into his mouth, tasting him fully now. His lips were soft and plush against yours as they parted slightly to let you in further. You moaned the moment your tongues slid together, digging your nails into his toned chest as he pressed in further, sucking softly on the slick muscle in your mouth.

Sungchan's hands moved up your body, gripping your waist and still pulling you closer. The fabric of your shirt scratching against his rough palms made you shiver with anticipation for more contact. You grind down on him out of instinct, feeling the bulge in his pants grow as he groans against your mouth, wanting more from both of you. His scent filled your senses - a mix of sweat and cologne and something uniquely Sungchan that made you want more.

The sound of his rhythmic grunts filled the room, a mix of desire and surprise in every breath he took. His fingers dug into your skin through your shirt, and you moaned into his mouth once more. Your breath hitched when he bit down on your lower lip gently, making you gasp and whimper into the kiss before breaking it, desperate for air. You gasp softly when you part, watching with hazy eyes as he pants as well, lips slick with spit and typically wide eyes heavy with lust.

You tug at his shirt, nodding before he has any time to say something that will kill the mood.

“Take it off.”

And he listens like a dog, pushing himself up and pulling his white T-shirt over his head, tossing it aside before wrapping his arms around your torso and pulling you flush against him. There are no thoughts in your head right now, only Sungchan, touching Sungchan, kissing Sungchan, fucking Sungchan––Holy shit, you were totally going to fuck Sungchan. That hits you harder than you thought it would. You’ve thought about it before. How could you not? He’s beautiful, kind, and built like a God. Of course, you thought about fucking Sungchan. It was nothing like this, however. Typically, you thought of him having your face pressed into the mattress, back arched, and fucking you from behind like he was getting paid. You would’ve never guessed you’d be on top, but it’s not like you can’t get into it for Sungchan. You’d do anything for Sungchan.

"Are you sure?" Sungchan whispers against the skin of your neck, his hands finding your hips again to steady you against him, his bare chest warm and firm. You're taken aback for a moment, not expecting the question. But then you realize that he’s always been considerate, even when he’s on the verge of losing control.

"Yeah," you say firmly, the word slipping out without thought and causing heat to flare in Sungchan's eyes.

Without hesitation, you reach for the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head swiftly. The cool air hits your skin, making goosebumps spread across your chest and arms. Sungchan's eyes widen as he takes you in, his gaze making you feel exposed and powerful. You struggle to pull your jeans off, having to crawl off of him to kick them off in haste. You hate how desperate you look but can’t bring yourself to care. Sungchan rolls on his side when you crawl off of him, lingering towards you like a lost puppy. His eyes watch as more of your skin is revealed to him, letting out a groan when he sees the smooth skin of your thighs.

Before you have the chance to climb back on top of him, he leans in, kissing the side of your thigh with a moan. You let out a gasp in shock but watched him with parted lips, threading your hands through his hair again as he dragged his lips all over the expanse of your thigh, leaving a trail of glistening spit as he did. He grabs your ankle, pulling you towards him roughly, making you fall back onto the carpet with another gasp. You don’t argue for once; you are too invested in what Sungchan will do next, even if you care.

His lips pepper kisses across the inside of your thighs, nipping at the sensitive skin with deep breaths as he inched closer and closer to your core.

He licks his lips as he hooks a long finger in your underwear, pulling them to the side. A moan leaves his lips when he sees your pussy for the first time, looking down at it like he’s looking at a coveted piece of art. You watch him closely, ears turning pink as he lifts two fingers to his lips, licking the tips of them before bringing them down between your legs to rub circles into your clit. His gaze stays on your cunt, watching how the pretty pink flesh moves beneath his fingers, biting his bottom lip when he hears you let out a whine, seeing your thighs tremble at just the slightest touch. Finally, his dark gaze lifts to meet yours.

With his eyes trained on yours, he presses a long finger inside you. A sigh leaves your lips as your eyes flutter shut, gripping the carpet with one hand while the other dug into your side, biting your bottom lip as he pressed another finger inside. You moan this time, feeling your walls begin to stretch for him. You hear him groan quietly, making your eyes open. You’re immediately met with his gaze that never left your face. He looks like he’s in a trance, staring at you like you’re the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. You can’t tell how it makes you feel, but you feel hot, like you’re boiling from the inside out. It aches, but it’s so intoxicating that you want more of it.

You whimper at how his fingers slickly slide out, then back in, watching him get lost in the sight of your reactions. You’re so wet for him. It’s almost embarrassing how wet you got so quickly. You swallow thickly as your chest rises and falls with each pant. His eyes stay on your face as his thumb presses against your clit, rubbing slow circles that make you shiver with a choked-out moan. His free hand cups your jaw, tilting your head back slightly, forcing your lips apart to look deeply into your eyes as he watches you crumble under him.

Feeling emboldened, Sungchan takes his fingers out of you slowly, letting out a long moan when they leave you empty. He lays a line of sweet pecks against your inner thighs, leaving tiny bites and nips on the soft flesh until he reaches the hem of his boxers. With a breathy "Fuck," he tugs them down enough to reveal his hard cock pressing against the fabric. You gulp as it springs from its confines, averting your eyes momentarily before snapping them back up to challenge his gaze. His thick length twitches with anticipation before he guides it towards you, slick with pre-cum leaking from the tip. Your heart stops for a beat before racing wildly in your chest again.

"Wrap your legs around me," Sungchan orders softly, not breaking eye contact even when you hesitate for a second before obeying. He grunts when he feels your folds pressing against his cock, pushing inside without a moment’s hesitation. He slides in so easily, groaning at how smooth the glide inside you is. He sounds as beautiful as he looks, making you moan as well. The way his cock splits your walls apart for him is delicious, to say the least, as a euphoria fills your veins as your walls spasm around him with another moan, this one airier than the one before.

“Fuck,” Sungchan curses, fingers digging into the carpet next to your head as he looks down at where your bodies were connected before back at your face. You two lock eyes again, making your heart hammer in your chest harder than before. Still, you meet his gaze with a quiet whimper, hands wrapping around his strong biceps as you bat your lashes at him.

“Feels good, Sungie?” You ask in a too-sweet voice. You rarely whip out for him unless you ask for a favor, like getting something off the top shelf or making him finish your short answer response questions because you don’t want to. Sungchan would do anything for you, and you’d do anything for Sungchan. He takes a deep breath at your tone, lips curling into a smirk before he bites his bottom lip, nodding.

Then, his hips roll into yours.

Sungchan's thick cock feels even better than you could have ever imagined, stretching you wide and fulfilling you completely. His hips roll into yours slowly, making you moan and whine beneath him with each gentle thrust. The way he fills you up is mind-numbing, his smirk turning into a grimace as he leans down to capture your lips in a rough kiss.

Your walls clamp down on him at the contact, purposely trying to get more friction between the two of you. Sungchan groans against your lips, slipping his hands under your back and lifting you up onto his lap effortlessly. You gasp into his mouth, feeling his hard chest pressed against yours. Your heart pounds in your chest as he starts to fuck you properly now, eyes closing at the sensation that washes over you. You swear you can feel his heartbeat against your chest, but you convince yourself you’re just dreaming it.

You feel every inch of him inside of you, making your walls tighten around him with every snap of his hips into yours. A tiny sob leaves your lips when he hits that spot inside you that has you seeing stars. You dig your nails into the flesh of his shoulders, jaw-dropping and eyes rolling back at how your body moves like a rag doll and at how sharply his hips snap up into you. He groans into your neck, nipping at the sensitive skin before sucking softly to soothe it with his tongue. You can't help but shudder in his lap; this feels so good that it hurts. His hands hold you in place, one on your waist and the other cradling the back of your head as he takes rough control of the kiss again, teeth scraping against soft skin with every thrust. He pants against your lips, moaning your name softly and how good you make him feel. It's all too much for you; all too real with Sungchan, yet so not real. You’re fucking your roommate on your living room floor––You’re fucking your best friend on your living room floor.

Your hands find their way into his hair again, holding onto him tightly as he continues to fuck into you like your his, his lips trailing hot kisses down your neck and over your collarbone. You mewl at the feeling, arching your back into his chest as he hits that sweet spot inside you once more. You could feel the warmth spreading through your veins, making you dizzy with need. The room spins around you as he thrusts harder, faster, deeper into your already aching pussy. His moans mix with yours, their tongues meeting in a messy kiss that speaks volumes about how much you both want this.

Your legs quiver as he takes control of the situation, fingers digging into your skin softly before trailing up to caress your breasts through the thin fabric of your bra. You let out a strangled cry when he pinches at one of your nipples roughly, making you moan into his mouth even more, looking down to watch him work with a breath through your teeth. Your hands' card through the hair on the back of his head, eyes shutting to focus solely on the pleasure coursing through your veins with every drag of Sungchan’s cock against your walls.

"Sun-Sungchan," you whimper. The sound of his name on your lips is like music to his ears. Your body is sweaty and flushed, a beautiful sight for him to feast his eyes upon. He growls lowly when he finally meets your gaze again, heat pooling in your lower belly at the raw desire he displays.

“You’re so fucking good, baby. ‘Should’ve fucked you soon, hm?” Sungchan groans, his voice creased with effort as he continues to pound into you. You can’t help but respond with a needy whimper, skin burning under his touch as you nod your head dumbly. You feel him everywhere, and it's overwhelming - the way he’s stretched you wide open, the way he feels pushing deep inside of you, the way his hands are holding you in place as if afraid that you'll slip away from underneath him.

Your heart beats furiously against your chest, matching rhythm with the throbbing ache between your legs. You're close, too close, but not quite there yet. Sungchan seems to sense your growing desperation, the flash of triumph in his eyes telling you he knows exactly what he's doing to you. He reaches down and begins rubbing slow circles on your clit again, thumb pressing against the sensitive nub just enough to make you cry out in pleasure.

“You gonna cum for me?” He whispers against your throat, teeth dipping into your soft flesh, causing a sharp gasp from your lips. You nod frantically in response, words failing you as white-hot pleasure courses through your veins. He laughs softly - a dark chuckle that sends shivers down your spine.

The way you melt against him is intoxicating. He grunts, unable to think straight as he feels his own orgasm building up. His hips move even faster, his cock sliding in and out of your welcoming heat with each thrust. He groans against your skin, panting heavily as he fucks you like it’s his last dying will, wet sounds filling the room that mixes with your pants and moans. You squeeze your eyes shut at the sounds you’re making, cheeks growing more read because of it. Sex is so embarrassing sometimes.

He pulls away from your neck just a little to look into your eyes, panting heavily as they roll back in pleasure. Sungchan's lips curl into a smirk at seeing how lost you get. Your walls tighten around his cock once again as you cum around him, making Sungchan's eyes roll back into his head and tilt his head back with a melodic groan that has you moaning as well. You feel him tremble beneath you as he finally cums inside of you, making you smirk softly as your hands run up and down his back.

You throw your head back and cry out his name, orgasm hitting you hard and fast like a freight train. He watches as you finally hit your peak, jaw-dropping at how gorgeous you look when you feel good. Your walls clamp down around him, and your muscles spasm in ecstasy; even through the haze of pleasure, you feel every drop of his cum spilling into you, the heat of it searing into your core. Your body convulses and shivers under the onslaught of pleasure, your voice breaking on Sungchan's name. 

Sungchan stays still for a moment longer, his cock still buried deep inside of you. His chest heaves against yours, ragged gasps filling the space between your sated bodies. He blinks slowly, his gaze holding yours captive as he pants out your name. You take his face into his hands with a deep breath, leaning in and kissing his lips without a second though. He moans into the kiss, holding your wrists gently as he does so.

You both stay like that for a while. Bodies joined together in the aftermath of your shared orgasm. The only sounds in the room are your gasping breaths and the rapid beat of your heart pounding in sync. Cautiously, Sungchan pulls out of you gently, making your pussy squeeze around nothing instinctively at the loss, a soft whimper leaving your lips.

He rolls off to one side, pulling you with him so that you're tucked against his side. His arm wraps around you and keeps you close to him, fingers dancing along your sweaty skin lightly. Neither of you speak for long moments, too wrapped up in trying to regain control of your breathing and coming down from your highs even to fathom thinking of words right now.

Eventually, though, Sungchan breaks the silence with a soft whisper, "You okay?"

Your lips twitch into a tired smile against his chest, pressing a small kiss there before nodding. "Yeah," you huff out after a moment, "That was…"

"Crazy," he finishes for you, making you shut your eyes with a laugh, nodding in agreement.

“Yeah…That was crazy,” You whisper, moving your head to rest on his chest to soak up more of his warmth. Your cheek squishes against his chest as you lay there, looking down at his spent cock resting against his thigh. It hits you that you’re both naked and just had sex on your living room floor. This calls for a conversation at the least but you can’t drag yourself to start it, completely spent from what just occurred.

So, instead, you close your eyes.

You’ll deal with it in the morning.

[viiennie]

its my first time writing on tumblr and also my first time writing fluff pls b nice ):

content: streetracer!reader x obsessed!nervous!gojosatoru

- yuji and gojo almost die on a late night drive but thats okay because gojo thinks he just met the hottest woman in the world.

this is part one,,, probably??? idk

⋆.˚ ᡣ𐭩 .𖥔˚

tw: car chase, curse words, small car accident, reader might be a little insane, GOJO IS A LITTLE AWKWARDS BUT ITS OKAY HES A CUTIE

“ne, sensei the car behind us is being weird…” itadori sweats, hands tight on the steering wheel as he winces at the way the lights from the suv car behind him reflect on the mirror.

gojo nods, “yeah, he’s being a real asshole.” he sighs, “it’s alright, the next left turns is ours. turn on your signal light.” he reassures his student, proud that he isnt panicking because of the blinding light and the close proximity between them.

yuji follows his teacher’s instructions, turning on his signal light and making his turn.

but he’s surprised when the car suddenly launches forward, accompanied by the sound of a loud thump from the back. “this dude is an ass!” he shouts, hitting the breaks as he stops on the side of the road behind the white lane. (thankfully not the sidewalk.)

“stay put first itadori, i’ll go–” before the blue eyes sorcerer could finish his sentence, they hear the car behind them accelerating away, followed by a loud shouting of, “WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING ASSHAT!”

gojo watches as you speed after the drunkard in a nissan skyline gtr r34, the flutters of your turbo sending chills down his spine.

he chuckles, finding the situation absolutely bewildering before turning back to focus on his dearest student….who was gone from the driver’s seat????????

“gojo sensei, the exhaust fell out!” yuji calls out from outside, staring defeatedly at the chunk of metal on the green grass.

ᯓᡣ𐭩

the next day, you were at the police station, getting your speeding ticket settled.

all you wanted to do was be a good person and help out your fellow citizens. i mean, what else were you supposed to do when you had witnessed a hit and run?

“um���call the police? miss y/n you cant just get into a high speed chase, you have to let the us do our jobs sometimes.”

the officer scolds you, a stern look on her face as you lower your head in shame. you felt like a highschool student being reprimanded by your adviser all over again.

after the long lecture, you were finally free to go, and the moment you step out of the station, you bump into the chest of a person, almost tripping and falling down if it wasnt for the hands that caught you before you lost your balance.

“ah, im sorry. i wasnt—”

“were you the person who chased a drunk driver last night by chance?”

you look up to see a man seemingly in his 20s, pale white hair, and very very tinted shades. his ears a slightly tainted red as he patiently awaits a reply, watching as you regain your balance and straighten out your windbreaker jacket.

“yes, i was. is there a problem?” you raise an eyebrow and cross your arms, shifting your weight to one foot.

“i just wanted to say thank you.. it was my student and i that got hit.”

gojo satoru doesnt know why he’s being so polite. he doesnt know why he cant keep eye contact. he doesnt know why his heart is about to beat out of his chest, and he doesnt know why he decided to search the nearby police stations despite his busy schedule, hoping to maybe bump into you, and he did.

“oh..” you uncross your arms, having thought you were about to receive another scolding from a person that you maybe somehow wronged in the streets. “uhh, its no problem really.” you smile before walking past him. you were hungry and wanted to have a feast.

“i..” gojo satoru, for the first time in his life, panics, “let me treat you out for dinner!” its five pm, you probably havent had dinner right? otherwise it’d be embarassing if you refused his offer.

you stop in your tracks, wondering if your actions really meant that much to this stranger before shrugging. this was a free meal that you would never pass up on. “sure.”

so now, here you were, in the beautiful cafe, with beautiful food, and a very nervous gojo satoru in front of you.

god this is so embarrassing! gojo screams in his head. he was usually good with women. he usually always knew what to say to ease the mood. and he was always smooth with his words. so why are all the letters of the alphabet suddenly stuck in his throat? why cant he find the right sentences to form?

“so..i never learned your name?” you begin, picking up your spoon and fork. “my name is y/n l/n.”

he clears his throat, “gojo satoru.” his voice almost breaks, his shaking hand reaching for the straw of his drink to guide to his lips. whatdoisay?whatdoisay?whatdoisay?whatdoisay?WHATDOISAY??????

“gojo, you need to relax. im scared you’ll start crying.” you honestly admit, hand reaching out for his shaking ones, “i dont think you can even eat look how much you’re trembling.” you sigh, watching as he turns completely red, steam erupting from his head.

“o-oh im sorry..” he mumbles, almost whispers. absolutely frozen as he just stares at the way your hand wraps around his.

“okay look, lets get the food for takeout and i’ll show you something, alright?” you hum, not really minding since you had already eating enough to quell your hunger.

gojo swears it happened too fast. the waiter took too fast to give the bill and the takeout, you walked too fast to your car, and he walked too fast, sat too fast into the passengers seat.

hell, he doesnt even know how he ended up telling you he had no ride home when he, in fact, had his bmw waiting for him on the other side of the parking lot. “so where do you live?” you hum, starting your car and smiling at the sound of the motor coming to life.

gojo says his address, eyes focused on the way your hands grip the steering wheel, the way you seem to fit into your seat like a puzzle. he loves the way your car smells, he loves the way its customized to fit your tastes. and he loves the way you look when you begin driving.

you looked so content.

“you look so beautiful, angel.” he unknowingly mutters, loud enough for you to hear.

“why thank you.” you giggle, “finally calming those nerves down?” you assumes he just had some type of social anxiety that made him nervous around other people, so you were glad he got to relax in the safety of your car.

as you drive, the view of the sunset over the sea comes into view, the orange and yellow hues casting a glow over the city. you slow down, “you wanna stop and admire the view first?”

“yea, i would love to.”

you nod, parking into a nearby open parking lot, and turn off the engine of the car.

you cant help but notice the way gojo stares at you through his long eyelashes, blue eyes boring holes into your soul. this is the first time you actually got to see his eyes, the black shades no longer in the way of them.

you notice his eyes, yes, but you dont notice the way you’re slowly leaning closer towards him until you’re only inches away from his face.

this is wrong, you both think.

i have a mountain load of missions to finish, i shouldnt be here.

i barely know this guy, should i be doing this?

but did all that really matter? what if this was a risk worth taking?

gojo satoru forgets his fears, raising his hand to cup your cheek, pulling you in closer to finally meet your soft lips.

you swear you could almost hear fireworks going off the moment you kiss this stranger whos name is the only thing you know about him, oh, and you also knew that he was cute too. the way he furrowed his eyebrows as the kiss deepened, the way his cheeks turned so red that you wondered if he would start overheating, the way his thumb on your cheek caressed your skin, it was all so adorable.

[bloodyinkandquill]

Rocket x Reader

wrote these after getting off of phighting, was very fun phighting is so good shsigsjshsk, anyways enjoy!

- When you first met Rocket you thought he was hyper and kind of annoying, fast forward to you two dating, you did not see that one coming but hey, boyfriend acquired so who cares

- While yes he is sorta hyperactive and a bit loud sometimes you love that about him, it’s part of who he is and you love everything about him, and he loves everything about you right back, even if not through words he shows his love for you a lot, especially through touch, he’s very clingy, he likes hugging you, holding you, holding your hand, draping himself across your legs or having you drape yourself over him, he just wants to be in contact with you at all times

- He probably uses those really cheesy embarrassing pet names just to make you embarrassed and annoyed with him, stuff like shnookums or cutiepie, but actually he calls you sweet things in private when he doesn’t wanna be an ass, if you do it back he turns it into a game, who can call the other a more weird/embarrassing name, whoever can’t think of something or whoever gets too embarrassed and asks the other to stop first wins, he’s very competitive but he has admitted defeat a couple times before

- You definitely help Rocket with trimming his horns, cleaning his rocket, basic maintenance on his arm and leg, etc, while he can do those things by himself it’s difficult, especially his horns and since Zuka ‘thinks it’s stupid’ he usually asks you or Sword to trim them, then it’s difficult to repair his arm when he only has the one to use

- Speaking of his arm it has occurred more than once where you slept over at his or he slept at your and the next morning you have to spend 5 minutes finding his fucking leg because he put it somewhere the night before and can’t remember where so he can’t fucking walk, he gets all grumbly and huffy even when you remind him it’s his fault he doesn’t know where his leg is, if your at his place and you just cannot find it he puts on an old one that’s not bionic and is more like a peg leg and hobbles around to help you find it

- For dates he probably enjoys movie nights, semi fancy dinners, gaming into the early morning, a lot of quality time stuff, but don’t get him wrong his love language is physical touch during all of it he’s touching you somewhere, arm, leg, head, whatever, something of his is on you or something of yours is on him

- Chronic clothes thief, hoodie? Rocket is gaslighting you into thinking it’s always been his, but not actually it’s a silly goofy thing not a toxic thing, some accessory you wear commonly? You take it off for a second and he’s got it on, don’t even get started on if he spends the night at your place, you wake up after him and nothing he’s wearing is his, it is all from your closet

- DO NOT LET THIS MAN IN THE KITCHEN. Early on in the relationship he offered to make you breakfast, Zuka had to grab a fire extinguisher. You learned a valuable lesson to never let him cook, he forgot the water in ramen, SIX TIMES. If you can’t cook either you guys eat a lot of take out or rely on Zuka, luckily he can cook, though some of it is solider ration meals because of his past, so honestly if you also can’t cook you might just wanna pick up food for everyone’s sakes

- He feels ashamed about his past and hates talking to you about it, it was a awful part of his life and he has the scars to prove it, you don’t push which he is grateful for as he doesn’t want you to think less of him for the violence and anger that was teenage him

hope you enjoyed! i had fun writing it and j think it’s good, i feel like i’m missing something though, idk its midnight maybe im just over thinking lol, if i do remember i forgot something i’ll add it

[radskull-69]

thinking about miss delight x orphan reader (platonically!)

warning! Mentions of broken bones? Idk that’s about it.

It would have the same concept as the player being a former employee and coming back because of the letter, but instead you’re a orphan that grew up there ever since your parents left you there.

you were close with the miss delight bot’s, they were so motherly and patient with you no matter how many times you messed up in class.

though one of the Delights stood out to you, it was hard to separate her from the rest since they’re so identical. But you knew it was always her when she would sit down with you when you sat by yourself at play time, or when she’d pat your head whenever she’d past by your desk.

she would call you all kinds of sweet names! ‘Apple’, ‘barbie’, ‘honey’

she was the closest thing to a mother you could get.

Sometimes you’d even call her mom in class- she didn’t seem to mind though. you’re her child after all!

though eventually you were adopted, only a day before the Hour of joy.

You didn’t know it happened, how could you? You were too busy with your disgusting new family!

she missed you, how couldn’t she? The Hour of joy didn’t bring as much joy if you couldn’t be there to watch her kill those pigs

why did you come back? It wasn’t because of a letter, you only went back for the memories the company brought you. For the nostalgia..

for her.

though when you showed up it was horrific, having to go past Huggy wuggy, mommy long legs and so many other toys you once felt so close to. It’s when you went to the school to get that battery did it really fuck you up.

the silence was too loud, not even your own footsteps and heart beat in your ears could fill it enough. This school used to be so loud, so bubbly.. so much more brighter

full of life.

but now…?

the paints that gave this place colour long since chipped off from the walls, trash and littered around (only wrappers, there wasn’t any wasted food?) and lights flickering.

you shivered, you wish you never came back.

holding your bag tighter you continued on, pointedly pushing down those feelings trying to worm themselves up to resurface. It wasn’t the time to get emotional

you wonder if she’s still here, or did she die too? What happened to the other teachers?

you grit your teeth and before you could think anymore the speakers that filled the corners of the school crackled to life, startling you with a jump as you snapped your head up to look up at the closest one.

“Y-you… I know you! You used to be an orphan here!”

that voice…

“You came back! I’d warn you to leave but…”

somewhere in the distance you could hear the schools front doors slam shut with a bang, making you tense up further if it were any possible. You’re locked in

“I always knew it was too early for you to leave the birds nest! I was beginning to think you died”

Your eyes drifted from the worn speaker and to the camera next to it, pointed at right you.

ah.. so that’s how she could see you. Makes sense..

“But barb always gave me hope!” Who the fuck is barb? “And she was right! It gets so lonely here..”

this was a bad idea.. why are you even helping these toys!? You should just run for it while you still can

and you did just that, turning on your heal of your sneakers and running back down the hall you were just walking through. You jumped over lockers that were fallen on the ground and other junk to avoid tripping.

the exit doors were in sight, yes! Maybe you could wedge them open?

Just as you passed a open door leading to a classroom you once attended you felt someone swing something sharp into your shoulder blade

“Ahh! Oh fuck!” You tripped on your own feet at the sudden pain, falling onto your side onto the dirty floor as you grit your teeth. You squeezed your eyes shut as your undamaged arm came up to hold your shoulder while it leaked blood.

“Watch your mouth! I don’t wanna have to stuff your mouth full of soap, especially since there’s barely any down here!”

you blinked your eyes open, tears spilling down as footsteps approached. Looking up you saw her.

her face was torn up so bad you didn’t even recognise her, her dressed ripped and torn like a bear went at her. Golden hair a mess that stupid red bow still in it..

she had what looked like a makeshift weapon in her hand made from a ruler and multiple colouring penciled, stained with blood. Some old and flaking off, and some fresh, yours.

“Mom…?”

you didn’t mean to sound so pathetic and scared, but as you used your feet to push yourself away while she stepped over you couldn’t help but feel like a little kid again. Bruised and hurt as she’d kiss your wounds..

times change..

“Welcome home apple, don’t worry.”

she stopped just short of in front of you, tilting her head with a pleaded smile on her face (or as close as a smile as she can get). A croaky and broken laugh escaping her like you wish you could right now, eyes wide and pupils blown.

this isn’t your mom.. not anymore.

was she ever your mom to begin with? Or just a machine who was always ready to kill

“I’ll make sure you never leave the nest again, who needs wings to fly anyway when you can just stay with me?”

your eyes widened with fear as she brought up her weapon, and you let out a scream as she brought it down.

after all, it’d be harder to run if your legs were broken.

[maximwtf]

izzy x reader fluff plpease. maybe first kiss????. i am thinking maybe starts off in angst where the reader is rly tired and distancing themself but izzy finds them and is really nice and supportive and shit. bonus points if reader runs off at some point to hide in stede's closet.(idk i find the idea of reader who wears black all the time secretly fucking loving stede's pastels to be amazing) sorry if this made 0 sense

Izzy Hands x Reader

Words: 2440

Google docs pages: 4

Warnings: self doubt, drinking, that’s about it?

Opening: You’re doubting your skills as a pirate, making you distance yourself from anything that reminds you of the life given to you. Izzy notices this, and tries to change your  mind. 

AN// Reader can be any gender. Thank you so much for this request! A good ol’ angst with comfort at the end !! I’ll probably take a small break from ofmd after this because the urge to write a couple of genshin fics is high because I can’t find anything else but smut for that fandom. And while I can certainly live with that, I must add some angst into the mix (as I usually do :”D) Requests are only open for genshin for a bit !^^

“Skilled enough to keep running…”

Being a pirate wasn’t just a title given to some that automatically turned you into the stereotypical barbarian. While it did sometimes awfully seem like some were born to a life such as this, you felt more like a scared mouse at times. That was an underestimate, not even at times. Most of the time. Sailing, cleaning the decks, cooking, sharpening swords and all the other small tasks you usually took were easy. But whenever a more serious situation came about, you froze. You were useless. 

What kind of a pirate doesn’t know how to hold a gun properly without having your hands shake like you were going through an internal earthquake? Or one that didn’t know how to have a proper grip of their sword, so that the opponent could just smack it out of your hands? All of that and more was the norm for you. And no one even dared to tell you how useless you were. 

You would have left this life a long time ago if you could have. But where would have you even gone? You had no home, other than the sea. And you couldn’t be at the sea without a ship. And a captain you could never be, you barely survived as a crew member. At times it felt like the others just pitied you, making them not want to tell you that they saw the way you struggled to even handle a sword. And it wasn’t like you hadn’t asked for lessons for both guns and swords. But even those hadn’t helped. Something in you told you to keep running whenever something bad was about to unfold. 

So you scurried away like a mouse whenever you felt useless or when the rest of the crew handled a battle perfectly fine without you fiddling with a sword in their way. Without even noticing you started doing this even when there was no need for it. 

The evenings usually spent with the crew; talking, drinking, and laughing turned into you sitting at the bow of the ship alone. Watching as the waves hit the ship and as the droplets joined back into the huge body of water. The nights usually spent with Izzy, arguing over who would eventually take the look out shift, when both of you knew you’d sit in the crowsnest together the whole night turned into you hiding away until he gave up looking for you before making your way to the mast. At least you were in no one's way. 

And oddly enough, most of the changes didn’t bother you. After all, it felt like this was how things were meant to be. But those look out shifts became something you soon started to miss. Especially when you had to wait for him to stop looking for you before going to the mast. You could hear him search for you, even if he was never loud with it. You knew the first mate would never admit to willingly spending those hours with you. So it hurt to ignore him like this. 

But as time went on, the man became more persistent, a trait you admired. Of course he had noticed that your absence wasn’t simply exhaustion from the small tasks you always insisted on doing, saying that it was the least you could offer. Which he never understood, because in his eyes you had potential. Like raw marble that hadn’t been shaped into a statue yet. But every time he had tried to teach you, you had shied away. 

So he took it upon himself to catch you and ask what was going on. Not only for his own sake, but the captains had been asking about you and what kind of a first mate would have he been if he didn’t know where the crew was. Especially when one of them had seemingly disappeared, apart from the cleaning still being magically done. Knowing it was you. 

So another night, he looked for you as had become a habit. And as per usual tradition, you were nowhere to be found. No amount of lantern light on the murky deck would have given out where you could have been, and searching the whole ship at such an hour would have been a waste of time. But this time you made a mistake. 

While trying to shift positions in the comfort of a deep shadow, you slipped onto the wet deck. Not badly, but enough to make a noise. If it hadn’t been for the lantern in the first mate’s hand, you wouldn’t have been able to tell that he was coming towards you. His clothes blended so well into the night. But so did yours, something you thought was boring. Though, it gave an advantage and allowed you to slip away for a moment, still aware that the first mate wasn’t stupid. He’d sniff out your tracks like a bloodhound in no time. Especially with where you were now. 

Stede’s quarters, the lights now dim and the soft snoring of the other captain audible every now and then. Izzy wouldn’t have to do more than peek through the small window to see you here. The dim lights even cast a shadow on the wooden flooring, determining your presence. 

Your heart was pounding, just like it always did when you fled from a fight. And you did so now even when you knew the person after you was someone you should have had respect for. Pouting, you realised you should have never stepped a foot on a ship. Who by accident disrespects the privacy of their captain and the commands of a first mate? 

Biting your bottom lip to keep the thoughts at bay and the tears far away, you pushed a closet door open, slid between the soft fabrics and closed the door the best you could. You crouched down, sitting alone in the closet like a scared child. A fast breath escaped, determined not to call it a sob. That would have been the last straw for you, if you cried now they might as well have you thrown overboard tomorrow morning. 

But even if the tears never came, the sob was heard. The door opened, but no one stepped in. He was smart enough not to barge in, unlike you. After what sounded like he had determined safe entry, the first mate finally stepped in. He called you silently by name, knowing the outcome but still tried. To his usual style, a few curses left him as Stede’s breathing pattern changed momentarily. Soon the dim light of the lantern shone right towards the closet, a straight line of light making its way right beside you through a crack. You didn’t feel like trying to run anymore. “Fucking, get out of there.” A snappy whisper came from the other side of the door, making you hug your knees. What a stew you’d brewed for yourself.

A groan rumbled from Izzy’s throat as he slowly opened the closet door, shining the light in only to find the person he’d been looking for at the bottom of it. He wanted to be mad, to tell you that he wasn’t a nanny and you weren’t a child. But the sight of you made him hold back slightly, offering you a hand. “Get up.” He said silently, you staring up at him before taking his hand. 

He led you out on the main deck, making sure to close the cabin door silently not to wake up Stede. He stayed silent until he’d brought you to the railing to which he leaned on, as a deep sigh left him. He brushed back his hair, leaning back ever so slightly as he turned to look at you. You held yourself, gaze avoiding his, not sure if he was mad at you. 

He’d always been better at you at the whole pirate thing, not that you’d known him for more than a year at maximum. But for some reason he chose to spend time with you. Which you’d never understood. Wouldn’t have it been more entertaining for him to talk to someone who understood him? “You know, I’ve fucking hated being here too.” He started, breaking the silence with a comment he was hoping to land somewhere near the reason why you’d been avoiding him. And the attempt somewhat worked, gaining your attention as your eyes finally moved to his form. “After Stede came along, and his…crew” He left the terms ‘fucking useless’ out for now, adding them in only in his inner monologue. You took a step closer, leaning on the railing, copying his mannerisms. “But you’re not useless.” You sighed, turning to look at the water, not wanting to see how he looked at you after. “I was to Edward for some time.” He replied, turning to one of the wooden containers on deck, rummaging through it, knowing there were a few bottles at the bottom of it. And he was right, of course. “You don’t need someone to be useful. I can’t even be useful to myself.” You shrugged, feeling somewhat better now that you were talking to him again, though still tense. “What use is an unused first mate?” He asked, giving you a look as he seemed to notice you weren’t picking up on what he meant, now that he’d finally caught up with the problem. It had been the fact that you kept fleeing after every minor failure. The first mate opened the bottle, the cap of it falling somewhere on the deck, the sound of it slowly rolling away as the ship swayed audible for a moment. 

You turned to look at him once more. “But you’re still skilled. Surely there is someone who’s in need of someone like you.” Izzy sighed, wanting to groan out of slight frustration because he wasn’t used to comforting people, but he kept that to himself. And he told himself that it was simply because you intrigued him, still a part of him knowing it was because he actually cared. But that was an emotion yet unknown to him. “At some point in sailing with the same crew, they become too close to leave behind. No matter how they treat you.” ‘That's family for you’, you thought to yourself, not having many other family dynamics to compare this to. But then again, he was correct. And something in you had known that this whole time. That’s why you hadn’t left the crew, but instead turned to hiding away. Because the crew had formed into a family. 

You fell into a silence, a comfortable one. Izzy followed along, offering you the rum bottle to drink from, not knowing many other ways to ease the feelings he knew all too well. He hadn’t been born with a sword in hand either, and he had the scars on his back as a reminder of who he had had to become in order to survive and live the life he’d been given. But if he could offer you an easier way to ease into this life, he could try. Wouldn’t have been the first time for him to find someone who just needed a little sharpening. 

You took a swig, placing the bottle on the railing, still holding the neck of it. You saw the crew in a better light now. Being able to kill someone wasn’t something that gained you respect and made you useful, that was only a skill most here knew only to survive and protect the family they’d found. The more you thought back to what you usually did for others, they always seemed to be thankful. It was the small tasks, the ones that no one else bothered to do that made the crew respect you as one of their own. But one thing was still unclear. Why did Izzy care? 

You handed the bottle to him, tilting your head. “Why do you care? Care enough to come look for me now..?” You asked, confused. Sure, you’d spent time with him and he was by far the only person from the crew you knew this well, but by the way he acted towards others you would have never guessed he would have been the person to come looking for you so persistently. The first mate took the opportunity to shut himself up before anything slipped past him by taking a long swig from the bottle. Though, eventually having to put it down. He cleared his throat, extending his time to think of an answer even he didn’t know. The air was tense now that he’d used all his getaway cards. 

A breath of the cool night air and he spoke. “Because I feel something for you”, shattering the silence from earlier. You stared at him, watching him take another swig, all words gone from your mind. Your mouth hung agape, wanting to tell him you felt the same but none of that came out. He’d helped you enough for tonight, you didn’t want to watch the poor man suffer any further. 

You took a hold of his hand, the one grasping the bottle oddly tight. Your touch eased the hold, making him turn to you. “And if you still want, I can-” He attempted to escape, but you knew by now how that always ended up. No one could run for forever, no matter how skilled they were. You gently took a step closer, awkward but still somehow leading. He wasn’t resisting, so you got closer. Still no words in mind, you thought this would have told him more than any of your stuttered words could. You kissed him, awkwardly, but it was the meaning behind it that mattered. It didn’t last long, not as long as similar actions in the future did. Yet he would continue to look at you with the same expression he had on his face now. One of melancholic surprise, like he was sad yet still caring. Confused. You both had something to work on, together. 

AN// Shoutout to clocks and time fr, it’s 5am again :”D Anyway I’ve healed from a fever and what I think was a sinus infection or still is??? Not sure man but I’m still holding on, trust. We'll see whatever ache attacks me next :"DD If this was proof read funny, I apologise. I'm tired xd

[athena-swords]

Pick a pile reading

The main character energy you are coming in.what your friends think of you.what is your charm(intutive)

Disclaimer:It is the believer of the craft which knows what is to be taken and what to not so be mindful of it.

Here are the piles...

Pile 1

Hey pile 1 hope so you all are doing good.ohh this pile definitely have got the vibes so we can see a very confident and firey person in this pile those who are the 'popular' person in high school.Takes stand for what feels right and is loud about their thoughts. Some of you can be migrants or just love traveling the person you look in the streets and be like wish it could me one day. Winning and lots of small victories.

What your friends think of you?

Most of them think you are above average in your craft.The friends which gives great advice they may think you very much like to live in your own fairytale and sometimes will have to remind you of that.A competition they have to keep up with in carrer or school take what fits. Someone who have a balance lifestyle and don't have to dwell on management of their finances much.

What is your charm(intuitive)

Could smell expensive, femme vibes ,intense eye contact,lol I heard taste so idk take how you want,mysterious understanding of things (I hope u understand what I mean).

Pile 2

Hiii  pile 2 hope so the winters are giving you not so much of trouble  maybe people is you as a helper or more of a saver I am  Getting such a BAD BITCH energy from you but not that bitchy kind its more like if you mess with me or my people you are gone. you are kind at the same time you and pile 1 are a bit similar so you can check out that too if you want. life of the party or just someone who lives the  moment .a competitive person who like to WIN like its gives them the kick,validation, self confidence  what ever you would like to take it as . if you are seeing number 9 repeatedly you need to do a self introspection -message from your guides.....

What your friends think of you?

okay right of the bet your friends  konw how much efforts you put on the things you desire for (maybe you dont get the results soon though) they see your cute bratty side and love it as many of ur friends dont mind pampering you.ur love language could be gifting or just being there comforting them.all of ur friends are glad that you just know that they feel and what to say.BTW one of your friends might be missing  now as you are busy these days and not get to connect much they would like to go on outings again.

ok see from the energies I am getting I can say that your friends group genuinely care for you like all of them but just be careful of those whom you dont trust

What is your charm(intuitive)

bad bitch ,warm hugs in winter ,tired ,not sassy but can be...  at times, manifesting clear skin,2022 taught you about____

Pile 3

heyy my babies I hope you have learned your lessons like life been so hard on you like sooo fucking hard you are like the warrior who becomes more strong after each wounds yaa like I was not getting the right words for you  all my love goes to you like you know the character who goes through every shit but comes victorious at the end you are that bitch and never let yourself think anything less than that  you have overcome the worst so just hold on a bit and you will see that there is a happy journey written for you too and people who made you feel like you are nothing are gonna get there fruits dont worry YOU DO YOU .see maybe you dont had those happy memories or teen life hack I would even say childhood life but belive me when I say everything you imagined yourself doing you will be soon pursuing it your guides are telling you to just wait for a little bit until then remember they are there for you.maybe something or someone who you thought as your saviour left you or were not what you thought they were but dont worry the universe sees what you dont they were not someone you needed in your life they would have done more bad than good 

What your friends think of you?

you hardly have friends dont you or whom you can truly call your friend so been betrayed by a friend haa they left you out or were keeping you in the dark but dont take the blame they are just a ill moral and maniplative person but there is surly a childhood friend or a friend who is romantically interested in you darling I am just so sorry that I am not getting what they think but more about the situation IG you need these messages more as your guides are strongly giving these messages as last this friend or lover  admires the strength you have shown and are happy that you are trying to move on and not repeat the patterns within 4 to 6 months you will be meeting people who not only match your vibes but will understand you and guide you there they all will be probably more mature or eolder than you.hoping the best for you.

What is your charm(intuitive)

lo lita, my bag -song, counting starts-song, pitch dark, ghilbi studio character vibes, grand launch, muffins.

Do give feedback as it has been a log ass time .

[ryuttaeng]

this lia- any ff ideas come to mind?

pairing: lia x fem!reader

summary: lia always felt some kind of tension between you two.

contents/warnings: smut, minors dni. popular girl nerd dom!lia, fingering, hickeys, friends to lovers (or enemies to lovers idk), swearing/cursing, jealousy, please do not read if sensitive/uncomfortable with such themes!

genres: smut

word count: 1343

choi jisu always irritated you. she always was the best literally in everything. her toys were better, her grades were better, she got attention, everything you could think of. the competition between you over smallest things also had its place in your relationship since childhood.

choi jisu is undoubtedly the biggest challenge you has had to face throughout your life. you refused to share seats with her in classes, because you always thought you never deserved to sit beside someone you hate the most and whom you’re better than them. she also got attention from both sides, girls would always surround her or even follow around school and guys would wait for lia to come out of the class to ask for her number. she always had perfect grades and was best student, so it didn’t really matter to teachers about her make out sessions during lessons in somewhere in the hallway.

you aren’t jealous.

“just admit that you like her.” yuna hit your arm lightly, making you turn your head and furrow your brows. “oh, for fucks sake, it’s your hundredth time to say that.” you sighed, scrolling down your phone.

“once i accidentally came in when she changed and she hadn’t anything under her shirt and there was several hickeys on her chest.” okay, you’re jealous.

“what?” you turn your around so fast, your neck hurts a bit. yuna smiled at your reaction.

“i mean, who knows with whom she was that night. but, y/n, you won’t regret it. just go get her, even if it’s just one night stand.” you look away, trying to hide your thoughts. well, maybe you find her attractive as hell and maybe you would let her to do god knows what. maybe, you always been attracted to her.

thank goodness she wasn’t in the cheerleading group as you. you wouldn’t have handle more of her bossy attitude if she was. however, she could still interfere your trainings with her stupid attitude.

‘you’re doing not enough as a team captain’ she’d say. ‘i thought they were looking for a captain and not a looser’ or ‘you’re getting extra laps? are you even a captain?’ she’d almost yell in front of others and your team.

you hate her. jisu would always make you feel ashamed in front of others, but she would sometimes say something cheerful to you, or as she thought so. ‘you wasn’t as bad as yesterday, well done’ and her smirk on her face made you always feel irritated. even though, she knew that her praises affected you. you would label your blush as simply being flushed from the exercise, but knew she’s not gonna believe in that.

“you won’t regret it.”

maybe your idea wasn’t the brightest, but you still decided to check something. you told your friend to scare you for your own needs. thank goodness you at least had some acting skills.

you let out a sigh when you sat down on the bench after long training. you grabbed your water bottle and was about to finally take a sip when someone crept from behind. “boo!” your friend crept behind you and grabbed your shoulders. as she scared you, you missed your mouth and spilled water over your top. “fuck, eunju!” you slurred, looking down at your costume. to be honest, your uniform already didn’t left much to the imagination, and now you with your spilled water.

girls surrounded lia as she tried to listen to them rattling about something about her. the pretty loud voice draw her attention, making to turn her head to the direction the sound was coming from and she never regretted it. lia saw you scolding your friend for something, that she really didn’t wanted to know, your now soaked top got all her attention.

it would be a shame not to notice the attention you got each day. lia wouldn’t miss every word some girl or guy say about you near her or when she just sat in school field, watching cheerleading team. “you think y/n would accept my confession?” lia heard some girl from her encirclement say. “i think she’s very sweet person, so it’s a yes so far. i think you two would look cute together.” her friend cheered her friend, when you practiced some movements that lia couldn’t care less. “then i will confess to her right after her team finishes.”

“don’t you ever dare to confess to her.”

the girls stopped talking, turning their heads to lia. she gave them boring look, but she could still feel her heart beat racing. “why would you ever talk to her? she’s not your type. you deserve someone better.” lia said, turning back to the field.

the few seconds of silence didn’t stopped that girl from confessing, lia remembers that. she watched that girl walking up to you and shyly look away from you as she probably confessed. lia was okay with that, whatever. but your warm smile, addressed to that girl made lia almost come out from her spot and stop you two right there. thankfully, you rejected her.

blinking twice, lia shook her head, as you stood up to leave the field.

sighing, you entered the lock room, wanting to change your clothes when you heard someone entering room right after you. you was about to turn your head when you were pinned against a locker with jisu inches away from your face.

“you’re doing it on purpose, don’t you?” jisu said, her hot breath touching your lips. “i have no clue what are you talking about.” you whispered, leaning forward as you rest your forehead on hers. “you’re a big distraction, you know.” jisu growls out when you pulled her closer by her waist. “a big one.” you whispered again, you smirked, knowing well that you have power over her, even though she used to be the one who rules.

finally, jisu leans forward and connects your lips. you couldn’t even think that her lips would be so soft, too soft for your liking. your soaked crop top still on you, so jisu made you shiver when her hands cupped your breasts, playing with your nipples. you let her hand trail down, now only one hand groping her. letting lia’s hand guide lower until it slides under your waistband and meets your heat between your legs.

“oh my-“ you breathed out. “is this all caused by me?” jisu whispers as she explores with her fingers, rubbing gentle circles over your clit and before you could answer her something jisu slid her fingers in, receiving an exhale from you.

brunette connect lips with yours and moans of the feeling of you being wet and so warm around her fingers. “jisu…” you parted away, breaking the kiss as you moaned out. jisu’s slender fingers starts thrusting at a faster pace.

“you always distract me.” lia whispered, as she rubbed your clit with her thumb. “always?” you moaned out through your jagged breath, feeling heat building in your stomach. “you have no idea for how long i’ve been waiting for this.” jisu says as she goes faster each thrust. “oh my god, jisu, please-“ you breath out, as the pleasure building in your lower half snaps, jisu kissing you to muffle your moan.

you moan in lia’s mouth as she slowly starts to slow down her thrusts until she stops. you breath minute or two in silence, resting your forehead on hers, lia’s hand is brushing through your locks as she left soft kisses on your neck.

jisu helped you to finally change your top as you sat down on the bench. she lent her hand to help you stand up and laugh as you stumble a little. “i would like to see you like this more often.” she says, as she unlocks the door. “does that mean you wanna do it again?” lia’s hand rests on your waist.

“it means that i want to take you out for a date at first and that i like you, not just for one night stand.”

[azsazz]

CC3 Anon

spoilers under cut

Hiii it’s CC anon. THANK GOD YOU RESPONDED NO ONE ELSE I KNOW IS READING THIS BOOK 😭

I finished CC3 last night and yeah. I enjoyed the pacing at the beginning of this book more than the first two books because we’re already in the thick of the climax and don’t have to build up suspense again but omg it dragged in the middle.

I did not care for Ithan at all I’m sorry. And yes he hasn’t been a pro sun all player in YEARS idk why she keeps bringing it up. I think someone stumbled and he caught her and Sarah went “his sunball reflexes” HES A WOLF HE WAS ALWAYS GOING TO HAVE QUICK REFLEXES. Had him running up and down to resurrect Sigrid and in the end it DIDNT EVEN MATTER.

Lmaoooo Ithan mostly acted ago appropriate if I think about it. He's like 20 I'm assuming since he's around college age. He's def not my favorite character either tbh. Love how everything fell into his lap tho. Literally anytime he was mentioned so was snuball it was so fucking dumb.

I know you like Tharion but can he do anything right omg. Ithan carried him with the Viper Queen. Sathia carried him in front of the Ocean Queen 😭 I WAS SO PISSED ABOUT THE ANTIDOTES OMG and then Ithan went and did the same. I see why they are best friends like wow stupid really follows stupid.

LMAO I love Tharion, yes he'd definitely dumb and needs to make better decisions but I liked how witty he was in the first book. He really needs to stop with the whole woe is me act tho. omg the antidotes shit don't even get me started. half of the stuff that she wrote for the book didn't even matter in the end. like, we could've cut this damn book down 300 pages tbh, nothing would've been missed because nothing made sense even.

I don’t hate Bryce. She did annoy me though. I hated when Aelin wouldn’t tell people about her plans and could not stand it from Bryce here. Her yelling at Hunt about having to face the consequences of their actions. I’m like dude you went to another world and came back powered up. Hunt stayed and was tortured brutally like what? I know why she doesn’t want him to have guilt about it but it’s his 3rd time going through this and failing. And now he has more to lose. Of course he would be feeling a type of way.

I do not like her at all lol. The whole not telling people plans things pissed me off because her loud mouth is not like that. AND THEN SHE HAS THE AUDACITY TO TELL HUNT "OH YOU DONT EVEN WANT TO BE HERE" girl maybe if you told someone the fuckin plan they would feel a bit more confident about going through with it for fucks sake. she's a mean girl and i can't stand her and i don't think she's funny at all she is so cringe to me haha. HUNT HAS ALREADY TRIED GOING AGAINST THE ASTERI AND HE WAS TORTURED FOR 200 YEARS?! Then he gets freed and has to do it all over again?! Like, why are we yelling at this man? of course he's weary.

I’m not the biggest fan of her swagger at times. Like sometimes we don’t need the quippy (read: unfunny) one liners :/

LITERALLY

The STAKES???? Bryce should’ve stayed dead! It would have been a lot more impactful. Even the torturing scenes kind of didn’t hit as much after the fact cause everyone can just regrow their limbs and be fine. No one had a single nightmare about what happened to them? I thought we would see something like that beyond “a glimmer of darkness in his eyes” idk :/

The entire "someone dying only to be brought to life on the next page" has definitely fucking worn off now but sjm apparently can't see that. she created a world with 50+ characters only to not use half of them when it matters. so stupid. Also, i don't remember them being able to regrow limbs tbh.

Maybe the book would’ve been too long but I was genuinely shocked we didn’t get more scenes of anyone on the actual battlefield. We were mostly in the palace after Bryce and Hunt teleported, and then the moment with Lidia and the sprites. But maybe the book would’ve been too toooo long idk.

Yeah there really was only like 60 pages of the end scene. but as soon as i saw the word space i actually almost DNFd it because what the actual fuck was that.

I will say I really like how the male friendships are genuine. I honestly can’t tell you that Bryce, Fury, and June are friends LMAO. (I’m exaggerating but I do kinda agree with this) .

Yeah, i love Ruhn, dec, and flynn's relationship. i think sjm tries to be like "oh yeah girl power, strong fmc's" but there's no women in the books? and they all don't like each other? like danika, bryce, fury, and juniper seemed like mean girls? girls that didn't give a fuck about anyone else? idk. the way that the men to women ratio in her books is very interesting to me. and the fack that EVERY man that comes across bryce thinks she's the most gorgeous girl to have ever lived...fuck off with that logic.

My girl Jesiba :////// She was my favorite for sure. I'm indifferent about her lol. Her entire storyline i feel was just made up like two months ago so she could connect to the other series lol

I do agree with what you said about Bryce (I legit almost wrote Aelin LMFAO) . I was not expecting her to just say no rulers for the Fae at all. But I guess a Senate would be more democratic.

SO STUPID. The Senate (starwars)

Im sure there will be a fourth book but I am so uninterested in Tharion and Ariadne like who caresssssssss. If Im interested in Ithan, it’s because I want to see more Perry. I wonder how connected this world and ACOTAR will remain.

I honestly hope it ends at 4 books. I think that would be a perfect ending because there's four houses. no need for more im already sick of it. yeah i liked perry too. i hope they're no longer connected lol.

Ruhn and Lidia :) but HE LEGIT SHOT HER?? I know she was acting irrationally because of her sons and he wanted to make sure she didn’t get herself killed but then he shot her. Like okay 😭. I think my favorite couples are Bryce’s parents and Lidia and Ruhn. Ruhn just seems so hot 😭.

Ruhn is a winner for sure for sure.

I’m writing too much and I’m scared this app will just shut down so I’ll quit here. I still think the first book is the worst one in this series. But I had fun with this one (despite my hang ups) and I’m glad it’s over (for now :/).

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT!!!

THANKS FOR LETTING ME RANT TOO!

CC anon!! I went to goodreads to read reviews of the book and I genuinely cannot believe how many 5 star ratings this book got. I mean, I can and can’t believe it. Atp anything Sarah puts out will average at least a 4 star rating on there and sell a crap ton.

I think people just give her that rating because she's popular, not because they read lol. oh yeah, why do you think she released 5 different bonus chapters. talk about a greedy cash grab. that mentality kinda makes me sick im not even going to lie.

I was reading through the 2-star reviews and someone mentioned their shock at how quickly Ruhn and Lidia resolved their issues which I totally agree with. She said she hated him and would never forgive him for what he did, and she was right! I know why Ruhn did it, but I genuinely still cannot believe he actually shot her, even if she was gonna be okay. That’s a terrible time to be worrying about a wound like that when you want to be at full strength to fight for your children.

Yeah half of the plot lines felt stupid? like what? he couldn't have stopped her any other way...really? i feel like she did not think this book through as well as she thought she did tbh. seems to be her thing these days.

(Even when Hunt said he hated Bryce for stopping him from killing Celestina, I was like Oh!)

OMG THAT WAS ACTUALLY WILD. YEAH OKAY. I TOTALLY BELIEVE THEY'RE MATES.

The reviewer said Sarah should have left their relationship on the rocks so we could get Ruhn groveling in the fourth book, and I can’t get that idea out of my head. ESPECIALLY with their bonus scene. Idk if you’ve read it but I was like ??? I like them as a couple and I like their story, but it did seem like it was all patched up insanely quickly. Like if you shot me then the very LEAST you could do is get my kids to safety. That alone would not necessarily make me forgive you.

I didn't read their bonus chapter but i can't believe they moved in with each other literally after like two days of knowing each other in real life. bro, you just found out she has two kids? you don't know the woman at all lol. no, everyone has to have a happy ending by the last page of the book or else. lol. no suspense.

[minijenn]

Jen Tortures Herself With Every Dreamworks Animated Movie Ever: Bee Movie

According to all known laws of aviation... eh, forget it. You know the rest.

So uh... Bee Movie is surprisingly pretty good? Yeah, I know, I'm surprised too. I mean of course, Bee Movie is an Iconic Staple of Meme Culture and for good reason, its humor is just... probably some of the most insane shit out of Dreakworks ever (more on that in a bit). But it's also a pretty compelling roller coaster ride of a movie that held my rapt interest the whole way through???

So what's the story here? Barry B Benson is a bee who ventures outside the hive and meets a florist named Vanessa, whom he of course falls in love with (and she falls for him too, its fuckin weird man). Eventually, Barry discovers that humans make a profit off the backs of bees by selling their honey, so he decides to sue the entire human race. Yeah that's really the fuckin plot they came up with. It's fucking wild, man, from start to end.

Our characters here are just as wild to match that crazy ass plot. Barry is a snarky lil fella, but you can tell he cares about his... people? Bees? Idk man this movie has short circuited my brain. Anyway, Barry is a fun character to follow as our main. Vanessa is a little less developed and kind of all over the place personality wise, and well... she falls for a bee. Enough said. Barry's best friend Adam is cool, almost dies from stinging a guy, so that's fun. We also have Ken, Vanessa's ex-boyfriend who literally gets cuckolded by a bee this movie is actually insane.

The comedy here is just... ridiculous. Again, there's a reason why this movie has produced so many iconic memes. I cackled out loud at some of these jokes and references, many of which I imagine would probably go over a kid's head (the Sting and Ray Liotta jokes especially like... c'mon those are some deep cuts). It's kind of breaking the recent trend I've been noticing from Dreamworks where they're aiming down for a younger audience. Instead, Bee Movie harkens back to their earlier movies, aimed more at adults with blink and you miss them naughty jokes that are actually really funny here?

The animation is also like... insanely impressive for the time this came out? Some of the camera angles and movement on these bees is just... amazing? The flying scenes really make you feel like you're flying along with Barry, taking you through densely colorful and sometimes actually beautiful setpieces. I also enjoyed the worldbuilding inside of the hive and all of the little devices they use to produce honey. I feel like this movie is doing what Antz was trying to do, but accomplishing it so much better, with way less Rancid vibes than Antz had.

The music is also fairly solid, not as many pop songs as you'd expect from a memey movie like this, but the ones that are very are pretty good and backed by a competent score. I think my biggest gripe with this film is... well, it's a little all over the place and out of focus? Like one minute it's about Barry struggling to figure out what he wants to do with his relatively short life, then its about him falling for Vanessa, then its about suing the humans, then its about restarting pollenation so the entire planet won't shrivel up and die? (yeah did I mention this film has an environmental message?) Really, this movie is kind of just... a jack of all trades and a master of none? All of its various plots are ok, but none of them are standout fantastic. It's just... a little messy??

But really, I did enjoy myself watching this movie. I didn't think I was going to, because its been years since I've seen it and well, the internet rags on it all the time, but it's surprisingly well-made! It really is Dreamworks at their most Dreamworks (warts and all) and I think that's a testament to why its so memorable (in both good and bad ways lol). Anyway I just got one last thing to say before wrapping up this review:

Ya like jazz?

Overall Rating: 7/10

Verdict: Watch the Entire Bee Movie but every time they say literally anything the movie starts over until you die

Previous Review (Shrek the Third)

Next Review (Kung Fu Panda)

[eroaneki]

I'm still so scared by what happened to me earlier this month. I feel like I had a legit mental breakdown. I still feel extremely raw and vulnerable and constantly on the edge of a panic attack, but I think that's more so because I'm afraid of not being able to control how I feel. Like that I feel completely out of control.

I literally triggered myself into a mental breakdown by drinking cold brew on an empty stomach. Like out of fucking no where had a massive injection of liquid caffeine directly into my bloodstream. And I was also coming off of weed. And it was... 3 days before my period. I think all of that combined with is what really sent me over the edge. I'm usually smarter about tapering myself off but I also have never had a 7 month period where I used daily. I think my longest has been like 2 months in the past. This has been basically daily use since like, January.

I've taken half of a 5mg edible twice in the last like 3 weeks because honestly I'm so fucking spooked I'm gonna end up going insane or something. I know it's unlikely. But man I miss the creativity weed gives me. My head isn't as loud anymore and quite honestly I feel "normal" I guess. Whatever my normal was when I was using daily. So I guess that means I've leveled out? But my heart keeps skipping throughout the day and it freaks me out and I hate it and I've already had everything ruled out by the cardiologist so it just is what it is I guess. I'm fine according to them.

Idk existence is scary as fuck. But I guess you have to have bigger balls than life and that's how you win. Just growing those balls into a massive force takes so much time and effort and "do it scared" mentality. I understand why people scream when they do things that scares them. It pushes them forward. Gives them the strength to do it.

Also side note, I hate adrenaline? I run so high in the morning and I know it's my body trying to wake me up but could you not? Can you be more gentle about it? Also life without coffee is fucking ROUGH. My heart pounds too fast when I drink it and quite honestly I don't need the extra stimulation in the morning so I've switched to tea, but occasionally I'll pour myself like 2-4 oz of coffee and sip slowly on that. Usually on the days I'm home.

God I feel like I have no idea how to survive as a person sometimes. I just feel like I'm walking blind. It sucks. Really badly. But I'm okay for the most part now. I still get a little shaky driving but again, I just think I'm scared I'm gonna freak out again while driving. I'm so scared of what happened to me that I'm trying every which way I can to avoid it happening again. It's rough. Rough rough rough but for the most part I'm fine.

My outlook is mostly positive and I feel more of my piss and vinegar self coming back, which is nice. But yeah. Still definitely licking my wounds and a little worried about my period coming up this month. But I have my emergency lavender and Xanax and sweet smelling body scrubs and ice pack and everything else I use to help calm anxiety lol

I also have a really good support group and I started therapy, though I did have to cancel my appointment for tomorrow because my new insurance doesn't kick in until 8/1. Annoying but I know it's not the end of me ever going to therapy ever again. Just have to wait probably another week 🙃

[kelseyfitzherbert]

so id love to put this under a read more but i haven't been here lately and my brain is mush and i forgot but i just need a place to scream

tw: cancer, depression, self hatred, loneliness, etc etc etc

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

im so tired. my toddler has cancer yet im the tired one. everyday is just me on autopilot until the next treatment, or doctor's visit, or body scan. when my husband isn't home, i crumble, having to handle my son alone. and he's a really good kid. but everyday is the same. and i know it's temporary, and i know i should be grateful for whatever time i have with my kid, but i'm losing me. i want to get away but have nowhere to go. i want to escape but everywhere i turn is reality. and i can't. i have a job to do here and my kid is counting on me.

but man, what i would've give for like, a four day coma.

im lonely. i feel like everyone i love pulls away from me, and it's my own doing. one example is i used to talk everyday in a group chat with my only local remaining close friends, but now it's deserted and i'm 90% sure they have a group without me. i didn't mean to pull away. things just got so busy and sometimes it's just so hard for me to even say a sentence. they tried to invite me to things at first but with my schedule so up in the air and dependent on riley, they stopped asking me. and maybe i'm stupid, and overreacting, and self sabotaging myself but i feel like almost everyone in my life is doing this now. my husband, my kid, my friends, my family. and it's so hard not to blame it on myself because....why wouldn't it be. ive done this my entire life. i push people away. i don't mean to, but i do.

i don't mean to be this way but everything in my life is so isolating right now. i don't spend any time with anyone outside my family. i have problems that get ignored. i try and speak up but it feels like im invisible. it feels like nobody wants to hang out, or spend time with me, or just talk to me about things that are normal and not my situation. my old friends don't say they miss me, or try and help me get out of this in and out day by day horror ride i'm on. sometimes it feels like nobody wants me around. and i know it's not other peoples jobs to do that. i know it's my own. i know i need to put forth a majority of the effort but i feel like i'm giving and giving and giving and giving and nobody hears me. i can't give anymore. i'm exhausted. i'm embarrassed. i'm ashamed. sometimes it feels like nobody's life would benefit from keeping me close and it's just so fucking hard right now.

because who would want to. who would want to entertain the girl whose kid has cancer and over compensates with everything else in her life to try and find a little bit of peace in such a scary, awful world. who gets too loud, too obsessive, too clingy or too annoying. i try not to but it's just hard. idk how my husband is still here. i would've left me so long ago.

i look in the mirror and i hate myself. i hate what i see. i hate who i am and only see myself as useless. i blame that on why nobody wants to be around me, and it pushes me further. i hate the way i look, and i hate it because i'm in better shape than ive been. but ive just been staring at myself today wondering what the fuck im doing wrong. im scared to be around my husband, who is the kindest person in the world. who, without him, id fall apart.

maybe im just overreacting. ive got people in my life who i love so much and i know care about me. but i can't help but fall back into that thinking of "im going to ruin this again" because it's all ive ever done. i don't want to push my friends, my family, my damn husband away. and i overcompensate that and it comes off as clingy and desperate and annoying.

i want to get back to things i love but it's hard. im trying. i still workout, i actually love going at 430am now. but other than that, i cannot get myself to do anything more than exist. i want to do things. i want to talk to people and go out and adventure and live. i want to draw and write and sing but i can't. i just can't.

im so proud of my kid. ive watched this little two year old do things with a smile on his face that would make a grown person cry. he's so brave, and i can't be that for him and i hate it.

im just tired. and if you made it this far, hey, what's up lol. sorry i just disappear and then reappear randomly upset about stuff. this blog has always been my number one safe space since 2010. it's see a lot of the shit of my life. im starting therapy again this month, which will be a shitshow. it'll be good, but it'll be a shitshow.

just...be kind. that's all i can say. be kind to people. you never know what they're going through, and sometimes a simple word can help so much.

and thank you to those who reach out. who care. i love you all. ❤️

[toadstool32]

TINY FIC REC

Im making a tiny (pun intended) rec list of crossover fics bc i realized like, yesterday that my fav fics are either time travel fics or crossovers and i think sometimes ppl just skip on those bc idk they r not familiar with the other fandom yknow? anyway this is mostly just me putting all my favs on a list and releasing em into the wild, go check em out if u have similar tastes than me, or not, i dont care. on to the list!!!:

Dedication Through Light And Darkness by lalunaticscribe

Fandoms: Yugioh Duel Monsters and Dresden Files

Rated Teen and up

Summary:

The Door to Darkness has opened. The Light is missing. The Chicago Anarchy-gasm has begun, as Duel Monsters come out to play. As the titans clash,in the midst of it all is...Dark Magician? "There is no way in hell any wizard would wear that, Molly".

I read this one a whiiiiiile back but its like, my fave fic ever, im not even into dresden files i have no idea what happens there but the characters are interesting and the way they all interact is super interesting, the supernatural elements really blend incredibly well and THE DUELS OMG, some yugioh fics dont bother writting duels or just do the minimun but the duels here actually serve a purpose and AUGH its just so good, the author has another 5ds/marvel crossover but i have not read that one yet LOL.

Let the Darkness Bring Us Into the Light by arinrowan

Fandoms: Yugioh Duel Monsters and My Hero Academia

Rated Teen and up

Summary:

Yuugi was never interested in becoming a hero. But he's always wanted friends. Friends who he could rely on, and who could rely on him, no matter what. And after meeting Izuku, Yuugi's determined to support Izuku as Izuku becomes a hero. Even if it means getting involved in heroics, getting dragged into way too many fights, being around way too many loud people, and winding up involved with too many dumb secrets.

this one makes me insane it scratches my brain in a very specific way i loveloveLOVE how its written and its a series!, im biased towards yugi but even from a bnha bg u can enjoy this one! the quirk talk and hero society commentary is amazing and so great, the sequel its on goin and has got even better. read this if u like quirk talk or like seeing yugi and or izuku having friends.

I have measured out my life with coffee spoons by Tenka

Fandoms: Yugioh Duel Monsters, GX, 5DS, Zexal, Arc V, VRAINS

Rated Teen and up

Summary:

It's a small restaurant. They shouldn't be able to get into nearly as much trouble as they do. In which Atem and Yugi run a small business with some eccentric workers in their midst. [Restaurant!AU]

Does it count a as a crossover if its the same franchise? i think so!, remember all those silly "and they all live in the same building" old time fandom thing? this is literally it but they work in a restaurant, its good u dont even need to have watched all of the series to get it this is such silly fun times, unfinished/on going.

King's Jackal by esama

Fandoms Yugioh Duel Monsters and Harry Potter

Rated Teen and up

Summary:

Wrecking all of Dumbledore's plans, the Power Dark Lord Knows Not walks up to Harry in the summer before his fifth year, and asks for directions.

ok i know what u think but i think this is the one that originated the whole shadow court thing? thats such a sick concept man augh what the hell this one is from 2011 so that alone speaks by itself but still! the charm in this one is the ygo characters like theres something goin on here that i like about it i tend to look very closely and just go euugh if anything seems OOC but this one is just fun old fuck the source material (both of them?????) incredible. also yugi is just fun here thats all i rest my case the fics abandoned btw, esama also wrote that one fic where yugi gains more shadows after atem goes away that one made me scream. not a crossover but read that one too

Bye Bye Yesterday by princessesandangels

Fandoms: Assassination Classroom and My Hero Academia

Rated Teen and up

Summary:

After the assassination of Koro-sensei, Shiro survived to continue his experiments. And he kidnapped all of 3-E to be his first test subjects. His first Nomu. But something went wrong. Very wrong. And now, 27 terrified teenagers, one femme fatale and a terminally overworked government agent are waking up in a world unlike anything their assassination classroom could have prepared them for. *** Ritsu looked close to happy tears and Tsukauchi was just staring back and forth between the two of them, shocked. “We’ll get them out, get them safe, I promise,” she said. “We… Ritsu, what are you doing here? Since when do you hack into police stations?” And Ritsu suddenly looked very sad. “Karasuma-sensei… I’m not really sure how to tell you this… But I haven’t seen anyone from 3-E in 232 years.”

part of an on goin series! ive linked this one before, ive made fanart to this, it makes me insane it makes me irrovocably sad it gets my brain thinkin up shenaningans, i love ensemble casts i love when theres just a bunch of guys running around, this fic is both fun and tragic bc of the nature of how the author went around to making it a plausible crossover. good stuff!!

stay in my eyelids for a little longer by stubborn_jerk

Fandoms: Mob psycho 100 and My hero academia

Rated Teen and up

Summary:

"Psychic powers don’t give us Quirks. Being born with one does." Kageyama Shigeo, nicknamed "Mob," had known this at a young age. This did not stop him from applying to two of the most prestigious Hero schools in Japan because, although he seems like an inconspicuous person, he, is in fact, a powerful ESPer.

are u seeing a pattern here? im seeing a patter here, dude what if mob was a UA student, came here for the plot stayed for the domestic terumob, its sweet and its fun seeing mob being mob in a hero obsessed society, part of a series if u want more!

100 Percent Hero by CiscoTheSoto

Fandoms: Mob psycho 100 and My hero academia

Rated Gen

Summary: A boy born with all the power he never wanted, Shigeo Kageyama didn't view himself as a hero. Although he saved innocent people from villains and spirits countless times, he never thought about how many lives he saved. But when he goes to a world where people with powers save others regularly, he will come to realize the impact he could have and what it really means to be a hero.

oh this one is great its on goin btw, while the last one is sweet this one just hits u in the face under the pretense that its good for u (it is) idk man what do i even tell u mob is so fucking sweet and the world around him is so fucking not. it pulls at my shounen protag loving ass.

This is the part where u start to realize i either really like mha or really hate it.

DCstuck by Vinnocent

Fandoms: Homestuck and the DC universe

Rated Teen and up

Summary:

Mr. Crocker raises an eyebrow. “Young man, are you suggesting we blackmail Batman?” he demands.

Read that summary again and tell me that doesnt sound sick as fuck tell me that to my face. Unfinished/on goin its fun times! u dont have to have read a single comic in ur life i actually read this one before even touching a single comic panel, whats better than this, just a bunch of guys running around im like a puppy running after its tail, go read this its like 50 ish chapters long so far

A Lullaby For Gods by inkteacup

Fandoms: Homestuck and Marvel (the movies not the comics but idk the difference)

Rated Teen and up

Summary:

Five gods rent a flat in Manhattan. That sounded like the start of a bad joke. In which Loki Silvertongue is not the only lost god who falls to a world that isn’t his own.

oh this is like, so fucking long, and hurts my brain this feels like homework but like, fun homework u know, i dont care about marvel im here for the kids, this pull in every single character u can think off and gives them a purpose its great , i love when theres just so many characters running around and whats this??? it also has some original human characters! even more guys to meet! its on goin and has 166 chapters so far but u already knew that , everyone and their grandma has read this i think.

"tiny all there are so fucking long ur insane" im not denying that now go read my faves pussy.

thats all for now might update this later bc i remember reading more crossovers i like but these r the only ones i found on my bookmarks,ok bye

[bbgmessi]

O!Erling and A! Odegaard enjoying a lazy Saturday Morning:

Martin is frustrated after yesterday's game and feels like he failed his team despite his trying his best. Man City is quickly climbing the ladder behind Arsenal, and Erling(though elated) is understanding of his boyfriend's feelings

He gets up early and makes him a breakfast in bed with all his fav things.

(IDK much about Norwegian food Lefse was very good but I have the weirdest food preferences so you help me w what you think Martin would like but whatever it is Erling makes it)

(do swedish ppl and norwegian ppl eat similar food? Sorry for the proximity bias lol)

Martin is upset at first waking up alone

But he hears his man in the kitchen and calms himself down

I headcannon Erling doesn’t like breakfast food so maybe he makes himself a mini pizza

Erling’s hatred of breakfast would always make martin laugh bc its very out of character for him

Erling bringing up the food 

They are silent until theyre half way done w their meal

Alot to unpack

Some media sources contributing their shit performance due to his “distraction” aka his relationship w Erling

A LOAD of online hate from supporters and opponents

Fans worried Erling is tryng to sabotage him mentally so Arsenal fumbles the league

Opponents just saying this is what happens when you sleep w S*ts 

Live love twitter trolls you know. 

Erling reaffirms that he was the heart of the game and that he did his best 

Real fans still love him and if he wants to do better he needs to keep his head up

Martin in turn checking on haaland bc of the missed pk

Erling’s dm’s always weird b/c 50% normal hate 

Like ppl saying hes a machine and he ran out of oil and thats why he missed the shot (Completely igoring his other goal)

Others saying its an example of omegas craking underpressure

Hyperanlysing the kick and saying its indicative of a bad future 

Despite the fact that its like the only goal he’s missed????

Twats

Some fans want an end to their relationship bc it stresses THEM out as if Erling’s personal life is their business

The Erling are Marting are in love and trolls wont change that 

 Martin is very appreciative of his boyfriend’s gesture  and he show it.

The two usually have such strict schedules but for now they’ll relax with their food and a harry potter marathon (I see them adopting a yellow lab so perhaps their dog is in bed watching with them.

ok before answering the hcs i’m so fascinated by u anon when did u try lefse ❤️ we do eat some similar food but not all but also i like to hand wave around it and claim scandinavian privilege for fic purposes❤️ (sometimes i just make up what fits my ideas best. it’s my universe now)

martin knowing disappointment so well, he’s lost enough games with norway, spent enough time loaned out from rm and all that so arsenal kinda choking is such a dark but familiar feeling for him 😔 so erling tries his hardest to help him relax by making breakfast for him… it’d be so funny if erling was like hey babe did you see what they’re saying about us. and martin is all. you shouldn’t read that you know but erling just finds it funny how much people hate him so he’ll read out loud from his phone about how people think he has an evil master plan to destroy martins psyche so city can come out on top (as if i’d do that to team norway.. fuck up our team dynamic forever just for that… he sighs)

also about the penalty kick.. that was like the first one he’s missed in what two years??? but people are tearing him DOWN over it, and martin can sense that he doesn’t really find it that funny anymore. maybe it’s getting to him a little:(( like erling is not even twenty three and he’s trying and working SO hard and martin makes sure he knows that it’s appreciated but trolls online are SO harsh. they both just need a pick me up lol

[turnupfortragedy]

i miss my mom rn. she passed away a year ago. i never really liked her much or loved her much while she was here. mainly because she did so much to traumatize me in the name of “being a good parent”. but idk she was totally right those silly fb or pintrest or wherever boomer “meme” images like in you teens u hate ur mom then in your 20s this in yours 30s this and im like hey im in my 30s now and i could really just use like that unmatched mothers love feeling. i never felt it then because i was so deattached from her. she hurt me a lot in many ways but she might have loved me. idk if i will ever know. how do you know if people love you? i always just thought if you can do and say these things to me how can you say you love me? but i used to curse her under my breath and just talk about how much i hate her and wouldnt be sad when she was gone... im sad because she was an interesting person i wouldve never chose in my circle but as my mother i see that there were these times i did need her but she always needed my help and i never noticed when she needed me she inadvertantly was helping me get something i needed. we didnt get along on traditions or points of view typically but idk i could be brutally honest and she knew and accepted that about me. sometimes shed say she was jealous because she wish she had my strength to speak up and “fight” when needed. and idk maybe i need that now. i feel so disconnected from everything and everyone. i feel like im just barely here like a weird faded version of me that you can hardly read but like you can see the words but time has worn em down. we had some good times in between allllll the fucked up bad shit and i yearn to go on a pointless drive with someone so open to do whateverin the name of curing boredom and monotony. id love to go get shitty $5 breakfast and laugh so loud the other diners feel uncomfortable. id kill to just go for a drive with my mom so she can annoy me about all the family drama going on and buy me a crappy shirt from kohls and try to sing lyrics to songs she doesnt know and buy my love and apologize for all the damage she did. i forgive you mom and im sorry if it was hard to handle having a child so different from what you knew about life. i wish we had something better but this is nice too