#idk. do people even use tumblr for recipes?

[joywizard]

joy's custard ice cream base recipe

this is a modified version of dana cree's "blank slate custard ice cream" from her fantastic book hello, my name is ice cream. makes 1 to 1.5 quarts of ice cream.

ingredients:

150g white sugar

40g inulin fiber (you can omit this, but it does improve the texture)

15g skim milk powder

1.5g guar gum (can be substituted with xanthan gum, in which case i would recommend using a little less, more like 1g to 1.3g)

400g whole milk

300g heavy whipping cream

50g glucose powder (can be replaced with an equal amount of corn syrup, but the ice cream will be much sweeter)

70g egg yolks (around 4-5 egg yolks)

2g salt

directions:

mix the white sugar, milk powder, inulin fiber, and guar gum in a bowl.

place the milk, cream, and glucose in a medium heavy-bottomed saucepan over medium-high heat.

whisk in the milk powder mixture.

cook, whisking occasionally, until it comes to a full rolling boil. remove the pot from heat.

in a medium bowl, whisk the yolks. add 1/2 cup of the hot dairy mixture to the yolks while whisking so the hot milk doesnt scramble the yolks.

pour the tempered yolks back into the pot of hot milk while whisking. place the pot over medium-low heat and cook, stirring and scraping the bottom of the pot constantly to avoid curdling.

blend the mixture with a stick blender (or a regular blender if yours can handle hot liquids) for about 30 seconds to one minute.

pour the ice cream base into a heat safe bowl. working quickly, fill a large container two-thirds of the way with very icy ice water. nest the hot bowl into this ice bath, stirring occasionally until it cools down. add the salt now if you havent already.

when the base is cool to the touch (50f/10c or below), strain it through a fine mesh sieve.

transfer the base to the refrigerator to cure for 4-12 hours.

churn the ice cream according to your ice cream makers instructions (20 minutes for my machine).*

eat now as soft serve, or transfer the churned ice cream into an appropriate container (i like the kind of deli containers you can get at takeout places) and stick in your freezer to harden (it takes about 4-12 hours for it to harden)

*if you don't have an ice cream maker, adam ragusea has a video detailing his machine-free ice cream technique, if i remember correctly.

also, if youre interested in making really good ice cream, PLEASE pick up dana cree's book. its awesome. the section on add-ins is especially useful.

[drieddpetals]

modern things the crows would love

(based of the reference of them being in the victorian era)

(also, i've seen a couple people do this so full credit to them for inspiring this)

kaz:

* (secretly) card shuffling asmr/those asmr videos where they teach you card games, even tho he knows how to play them already

* (when he was a kid) those diaries where you have to have a code to get in with a speaker to record messages in

* ^^ also diaries with locks on them

* combination locks

* hard swing jazz

* mean girls (movie & musical)

* "dark acadamia" literature

* making sure everyone in a fifteen mile radius of him knows that frankenstein was the DOCTOR and the monster was frankenstein's MONSTER

* making up conlangs/ciphers for fun

* ^^ getting the crows to memorize them so they can communicate secretly

* gloves with pads on the fingers that let you use screens

inej:

* tumblr aesthetic moodboards

* taking hyperspecific uquiz personality quizzes

* crystal jewelry

* competitive gymnastics & tumbling

* claw clips & french pins

* colored eyeliner & mascara

* midi skirts

* making boards on pinterest—sharing those boards with jesper & wylan

* ^^ having massive joint pinterest boards with all the crows

* leg warmers

* ballet & "ballet aesthetic"

* any movie with natalie portman

* birkenstocks but specifically the ones with a holder for your big toe (idk if this makes sense)

* phantom of the opera

* oil diffusers

* american girl dolls

jesper:

* laser tag

* rollerskating & roller derby

* plato's closet

* tourist jewelry

* volleyball

* colored & funky shaped sunglasses

* just dance 2

* bruno mars

* fall out boy

* cargo shorts

* hamilton

* finding obscure fashion inspo on pinterest

* showing everyone how he can run barefoot on gravel

* gyaru fashion

* sour candy

* mt. dew

* saying, "i'm just joshing you" ironically

* sneezing extremely loud on purpose when it's dead silent

wylan:

* papa louie arcade games

* laufey

* asmr

* flute beatboxing

* green and brown colored converse

* tumblr aesthetic moodboards

* magnetic puzzle tiles

* percy jackson

* moisturizer with sunscreen in it

* the great comet of 1812

* dr. pepper

* accidentally dropping really traumatizing memories bc he genuinely thinks they're just funny stories from his childhood

* watercolor pencils

* shazam & the google "hum a tune" feature

nina:

* forever 21

* lush

* those mommy baking blogs that post their whole life stories before the recipe

* french tip manicures but in any other color but white

* ^^ also charms on nails

* gel manicures

* megan thee stallion

* lip gloss

* juicy couture

* the met gala

* amy winehouse

* duolingo/memrise/babbel

* panera bread

matthias:

* ^^ also, those mommy baking blogs that post their whole life stories before the recipe

* volunteering at animal shelters

* carhaart & patagonia

* those massage chairs at malls

* apple watches

* buying those massive bottles of ibuprofen at costco

* ^^ buying bulk protein powder from costco

* ^^^ generally he just likes costco & buying things in bulk

* colored fairy lights (HATES LED light strips)

* those big tubs of aquaphor

* vera bradley blankets

* gallon water bottles with the motivational time checkpoints

* at home gyms

* the classic white boy flannel over hoodie combo

* jacuzzis

* massage guns

* steel toe boots

* yawning and sneezing like a dad

* hair and beard oil

[intheholler]

I'm finding myself having less and less patience with people who make fun of Southerners and Appalachians (and rural people in general, though I do find it interesting how they always use our accents to mock all rural Americans...)

I follow a few Appalachian creators on tiktok who post recipes and the comments on their videos are always full of people making fun of their accents. "Um, where can I find 'oll'? I went to the store and all they had was oil 😂" or "'Worsh' must be some new technique I've never heard of!" Or even just basic insinuation that the creator isn't smart and that the food looks gross. It's annoying. I always wanna shake these people and make them remember that making fun of someone's culture is shitty! Just because they've been taught not to respect our culture doesn't mean it's not one.

I do also see lots of comments from the other side, though! Things like "You sound like my mamaw! 🥰" or "As soon as I heard you say 'cast iron' like that I knew the recipe was gonna be good' or "Ooh, nobody can make cabbage taste good like someone from the holler!"

I love seeing the kind of pride that comes from leftists like me who grew up there. I love living outside of Appalachia and making the people around me hear my accent and eating my recipes. I love thinking about the gifts that our home has given to people all over the world: foods, technology, music, inventions.

Basically, thanks for your blog. I love the perspective you bring to Tumblr

"as soon as i heard you say 'cast iron' like that i knew the recipe was gonna be good" YES that's what we wanna see when it comes to comments on our accent 🤩

speaking of, i maintain that the best way to change minds is doin exactly what you yourself are doin--sharing the food, culture & the overall beauty of appalachia complete with its inherently leftist ideals... in a thick ol fuckin accent.

dizzy em with cognitive dissonance until they have no choice but to accept they may actually be wrong! back when my accent was virtually undetectable, i used to love dropping the "oh btw, im from the south" bomb on em after they got to know me and respect me

but unfortunately, yeah, it's too easy for those kinds to just keep being ugly. takes far less effort to crack stale jokes, speak ill of us and call us stupid at every opportunity than, idk, confronting bias and growing as a person. i wonder if we'll ever stop being the butt of their jokes. probably not. fuck em.

anyway, amen to all you said. i have exactly zero patience for it now honestly, especially after getting to know yall and having this little community that has cropped up around my humble lil blog. i feel more protective of our home than ever before and i been gettin loud about it

thanks for sharing your thoughts and for being here <33

[dailyautophagy]

I have off tomorrowwwwwwwsa

we all do probably but

it doesn’t feel like Saturday to me

I’m a big fan of that lol

I don’t have a ramble in me but imma force one out because

This Tom papa special is pretty good but i don’t wanna give my undivided attention to it

He is making jokes about food influencing your behavior and mood and I know he makes his own bread cause I listen to him on podcasts lol and he is just good at his job and doesn’t preach to people he just does good jokes that might make people think twice before eating a bag of cool ranch Doritos because a while after you want to kill yourself a lil

I think I typed that 5 hours ago and then i came back to this to ramble more and then tumblr did a crash and it didn’t save the rambles after this ramble (sad, because decent lol)

there are four married men at my work that go out of their way to be nice to me and like not other people and just

why

i mean know why (and no I ain’t gonna touch it) but like why do they think that’s okay lol are they just being nice out of pity

I know it is not ideal to be aware of motivation existing for every and all things but like it does and therefore no these people are not just being nice to be nice there is a reason

There’s always a reason for everything even if it’s not a good one or

Like I don’t know the reason we evolved brains that are painfully aware of our imminent death but I know there IS ONE lol

I know a lot of the reasons for things now, health issue things, sadnesses and such

Don’t pretend being depressed is just part of life and it won’t be / I think therefore I am / if you say you can you will & if you say you can’t you’re right /

You get it

I am tired

I want to cum

I need to drink water

We’re all the same really lol

The thing about ants not tryna leave the boundaries when someone draws circles around them and then showing all the BORDERS OF COUNTRIES like I get it lol but we need them at this point because without them the places that suck will trickle into the places that are nice - if we had started with no borders everyone would be the same maybe lol or dead

I know nothing John snow don’t fucking listen to me

You can actually :/ i do know a lot of things and it’s not like hidden secret knowledge it’s just not ever addressed lol because guess what’s easier? Popping pills

I don’t like that about the world

It card to find someone without a prescription lol even I smoke weed ffs that kinda counts plant or not

The only person raw dawging life is ….no one.

Find me someone not drinking caffeine and not prescribed anything. I thought did but he sneaks cans of Coca Cola and has prescriptions now (cause he didn’t take care of his damn body)

AND NOW IT IS 3AM

It’s three am I must be lonelyyyy

No it’s actually 411 according the the fucking alarm clock this asshole downstairs is sleeping through lol it’s set for 405 so even I didn’t hear it for a whole 6 minutes .. but I’m not IN THAT ROOM LIKE HE IS. Idk how people sleep through loud noises like that lol DRUGS?!?

I mean dude makes almost 1000 a week and I take 300 because life is expensive and this isn’t a goddamn homeless shelter but he’s somehow always poor lol which like how - I’m buying the groceries

Which I forgot I said if I had to pay for them I wasn’t going to be also preparing all his meals like you want a slave you gotta stock my shit lol

But last night he was napping (last night aka like 5pm yesterday) so I went in the kitchen WHERE I BELONG to make dinner and put dishes away and I made rice (which just requires patience like you gotta wash the rice and then let it boil - I do a cup of rice almost 2 TBSP of oil and 1/2 tsp salt and 1.75 C water and I hate American measurements lol I think that was one way they tried to fuck up our ability to use food as medicine. Cause back in the Florence nightingale time (and location) they had recipes we prolly never even heard of. Remedies and recipes

I get so mad now when people don’t understand that our own body is responsible for our own healing and you just gotta it the right conditions lol like definitely SET broken bones and definitely antibiotics have saved lives but MOST things most illnesses and even most diseases are within our realm of fixing. You don’t need doctors. We didn’t evolve from cavemen because doctors existed. I’d venture to argue that doctors now do more harm than good. Granted we are not taught the things or given the tools to know how to fix ourselves lol but like the truth is out there man lol

Seriously though I wish I found Barbara O’Neill when I was in school. I graduated highschool in 2008 and dropped out of college after people started dying from pills and getting their drugs laced with fentanyl lol but alas my career didn’t require it.. despite everyone else I work with having a college degree.. So LOL at them.

I’d be in legitimate debt instead of just bad at money

Also I swear to fucking god these assholes are going to make me take my days off around Christmas so I don’t get all the OT again lol

Trust me, your omnipotent creator doesn’t get offended by words, and since I’m not a believer like that I’m not actually using the lords name in vain or whatever the fuck …. Wait yes I am because I am using it in an empty or meaningless way … I always thought it meant thinking like “this is gods fault” and being so disappointed by god you then curse him

I don’t know

Spiritual, yes. Religious, no. Religion is responsible for all the wars. And those imaginary lines we decided were worth killing people over. I mean now it’s too late the lines are necessary because some countries are shit holes and some are not but maybe if we had never segregated ourselves we wouldn’t be so different from eachother but TOO LATE what’s done is done and now I don’t want people imported from other hemispheres and TBH neither do their gut biomes you’re supposed to eat the food indigenous to your area lol that’s why I can fuck with everything apples forever like I wasn’t raised on milk I was raised on apple cider lol AND IVE NEVER BROKEN A BONE I’ve really fucked up my elbows and tailbone but nothing to my knowledge ever broke perhaps teeny tiny fractures and for sure bruises but never casts never snaps 🤞 I hope I hope I hope the universe never makes me / I never do anything to warrant that karma lol my brain is the mob btw if I disrespect the order of the world instant karma and thus far it (my karma) has been eerily accurate

If I’m mean or do a rude thing, something bad happens to me lol usually nothing too serious but low key (so low key I would never actually say this to humans esp my sister) but I think my XL abortion is why I don’t have parents - which I know is like not how cancer works lol I know they grew that shit over so many years and it was a direct result of their lifestyle / dietary choices - but yet I still feel that(low key) if I had had that baby they would not be dead.

And that’s a weird way to feel.

But I don’t think there’s anything after this lol because I think energy gets recycled but not SOULS or whatever makes us have a spark of electricity in every cell. Salt water I guess lol shits crazy

There’s so many layers to health and once you realize the building blocks matter

Like do people not liken it to gas grades and cars

Put premium in your body it is worth it and ultimately over time regular will fuck up the engine

Our body our cells our mf dna is made up of what we eat lol well it’s actually nucleotides but NUTRITION AFFECTS HOW WE MAKE NUCLEOTIDES and therefore our dna BUT we cannot change our chromosomes and we cannot fully detox from an mRNA vaccine lol

I should go back to sleep lol

I want to brag about famous people living near me and being on my ro…can’t even say that lol as I don’t wanna dox myself or career

If you know my job don’t fucking tell people please lol they don’t need to know

Suffice it to say that I only own a home because my parents are dead and not because my career is a real money maker lol but

See can’t even brag about the benefits without basically doxing

Doxing is a such a faggot word lol

And concept tbh like mind your business troll

I hope every human responsible for the squirrel euthanized in NEW YORK okay caps gets mugged Or assaulted Or like some not death but like a physically painful thing happen to them because what the fuck is wrong with you lol you did this because you were “concerned”? Well now it’s dead, are you happy? Nothing to be “concerned” about. Fucking disgusting. And obviously voting for Kamala so like

The type of people who are voting blue blindly are the type of people who can’t mind their own business and need the tv to tell them what to believe

Also imagine setting a ballot box on fire and genuinely believing you’re on the right side of history

You don’t have to like trump personally but you do have to respect the fact that millions of us do and we literally elected him to be a presidential candidate despite the television programming everyone to hate him - we don’t watch news lol maybe someone watch fox but like I do think most of us don’t even have cable anymore like

Now tis 6am and I am still not back asleep lol but it’s not dark anymore so I might have to stay awake

I love my nails and I’m so grateful for the glass files the pretty blonde one told me about (I mean I think I knew they existed but I didn’t use them lol) and my nails like so useful so strong so GOOD FOR PICKING MY FACE which is BAD lol I can’t not pick my face I hate this for me

Like I’m probably better off touching my phone cause then I’m not picking my face lol but being perpetually on tumblr feels like not a good thing but also it is the best way to not spend money lol not shopping online OR FIND US IN THE APP or whatever something about capital letters in advertising always made me feel like a robot was yelling at me

Rumble is the best way to watch Barbara I always just listened on SoundCloud whilst at work but the viewing of her and the white board is a much different experience lol not hugely better but a little better

Seinfeld and laying with bobo

Bison steaks!!! I forgot they are amazing and ground bison burgers are kind of not lol so just be aware

I think they’re less fucked with than cows but it’s possible that’s just wishful thinking

End ramble heavy eye shallow breaths maybe i will see you inn the dream world WHO WHO WHO WHO what are you an owl lol sometimes i want to say things just

To be able to make a joke after

And sometimes

I can’t stop wanting

To fix my teeth they are not okay on the bottom like I’m gorgeous my smile is gorgeous but if I talk you can see the bottom teeth are not good and i want it fixed i want it fixed i bought the things to fix them one time and then i did not do it i just used the ugh no doxing me it was like I didn’t truly feel I paid for the jawns?? I assume that’s why i had the gall to waste almost 2k like that

They are useless at this point like my teeth didn’t just go back to how they were before that would be too convenient they’re a new type of screwy now

Whatever I don’t know why I’d use the same people imma prolly try… not byte lol cause I already did byte

But I don’t want one I gotta go to dentist for ever like if I was willing to sit in those chairs and breath those gross airs every month 🤷‍♀️

Okay lay down sleepy lol

[bekkathyst]

Sometimes it really hits me how much has happened since I’ve been on this website and have had my little shop. Idk if it’s nostalgia or just procrastination of my current to-do list but I feel like writing out a little synopsis of what’s happened over the years lol. Also for any new followers, you can catch up haha

Also there will be some vague mentions of rough/traumatic circumstances, so just a warning!

I opened my first tumblr account when I was still in high school in like 2009 because all my friends were on here. I had like a fashion blog at one point, a recipe blog at another, but eventually I settled into my little witchy nature crystal niche where I felt the most at home.

In 2013 I was living in a horrible studio apartment in central Los Angeles with my now husband Antonio and we were living in poverty. He was being paid under the table below minimum wage and I was an unemployed high school dropout. I was struggling to find any kind of job and I also knew that it would be impossible for me to keep one because of how I am. (Which at the time I didn’t realize was the result of neurodivergence and a lot of trauma). I was just happy to be away from the abusive home I grew up in and I was really determined to make things work somehow, as impossible as it seemed. Eventually I decided I needed to just work for myself. A job wasn’t going to fix anything for me, and where I was wasn’t safe for me to be walking to and from a job anyway. I dealt with a lot of harassment every time I left my apartment so I pretty much became a hermit for the years I lived there.

One weekend with $10 from our grocery budget I went to a little shop that sold tumbled stones on the Redondo Beach pier and decided to buy a couple and some wire and make some pendants. I also had quite a few stones from my collection from childhood and I used those, too. And I opened my first Etsy shop! I honestly cringe when I look back at pictures of my work from this time, I’d really like to think I’ve come a long way lol.

It took several months to get a single sale and at least a year before I had any kind of consistency. For the next couple of years I worked on my little shop while Antonio went to work. In 2015 we decided that my shop was making just enough for us to work on it together and move somewhere else. So we ended up finding a mobile home for rent on some lady’s horse ranch in the mountains of unincorporated riverside county and we moved there.

We planned to stay for quite a while, but before even a year had passed, life drastically changed again. In early 2016 my little sisters came forward about the abuse they were facing and our father was arrested and a years long criminal court case began. Because my mother was undocumented and had spent the last 20 years pretty much just hiding at home, all their care fell on me. We took in my mom and my 3 sisters and had to move. We found another manufactured home in the same area and we all moved in together. I was truly not financially or emotionally prepared for this and it was extremely difficult. On top of that we were all very traumatized. I had not yet been open about the abuse I had faced because I wasn’t ready.

Amid that struggle is when my mom decided to start working with us as well! And she helped us grow our shop some more until we were a little more stable. Eventually we realized we had to find a bigger home and in 2017 I finally got to realize my goal of living in the big mountains and we found a lovely big house in Big Bear.

Actually during this time I have gaps in my memory so there are some things I start to mix up, but shortly after we moved I also decided to come forward about the abuse I faced which unfortunately further complicated the court case. We were looking at a trial date in 2018 which would eventually get pushed to 2019. But during 2018 my niece was born and I also ended up taking in one of my half brothers as well. So our household was now 9 people that were all surviving off of my shop’s income. Also during this time (I think it was actually 2017) we had been talking to one of our suppliers about taking over their wholesale warehouse near Los Angeles. It was presented as a huge business opportunity and I saw it as a chance to better things for us and hopefully ease the struggle. Taking this opportunity actually did the exact opposite. We were quite honestly deceived and ended up being straddled with a failing business. I lived 2017, 2018 and most of 2019 in a haze. Like I mentioned, I really don’t remember much and sometimes I see posts I made during that time and I’m really surprised by them. I think it was just the combination of extreme stress, burn out, sleep deprivation from trying to run 2 businesses and taking care of a massive household, and the trauma of having to recall all these repressed memories from my childhood.

But, somehow I survived. The plus side of coming forward about my abuse is that it gave me access to free therapy and I ended up finding the most incredible therapist that helped me start my healing and recovery from burnout.

Eventually in early 2019 our court case happened and we all testified in front of a jury, and our father was found guilty and is now serving a 300 year plus sentence. It took me the rest of that year to come out of the haze I’d been living in. After the court case, I decided to take the leap and open our brick and mortar shop in Big Bear. It was the thing I actually wanted to do with all my heart.

Then… 2020 came around. Covid hit and it was the final nail in the coffin for our warehouse business. We closed it and gave up. My other half sibling that was working at the warehouse ended up moving in with us as well and so did a friend of mine, so at this point our household was at 11 or so people and we were beginning a pandemic. I had also found out that I was pregnant.

Finding out I was pregnant caused the biggest flip of a switch in my brain. I knew I couldn’t keep living the way I was living anymore. I couldn’t keep burning myself out and over extending myself to people. I had to put up some kind of boundaries and create a healthier environment. With the help of my amazing therapist supporting me, I made this a reality. It’s also when I finally decided that as soon as we could, we’d be moving to Austria, the country my mother was from, where I had also lived as a young child. I knew I had to make life better, I knew I had to release all of this chaos.

In early 2021, still of course in the middle of a pandemic, our landlord said he wanted to sell our house so we needed to move out and he would not be renewing our lease. This was right when the housing shortage really started to hit our area. I had an infant daughter and all these people in my care and I was very scared. By some miracle we found a listing for a house in the high desert, about a half hour away from our brick and mortar shop and we went for it. We knew we had no other options. At this point most of my household went their own ways and found their footing. So me, Antonio, our infant daughter, my mom, my youngest sister, and my toddler niece all moved to this house in the desert. I knew that this was temporary and I told myself I would not be here for longer than a year. Once our year lease was up, we’d make it to Austria.

It was a lot of work and honestly I probably could have made some smarter choices now that I look back, but early 2022 we sold all our inventory from our brick and mortar shop to a wholesaler and closed it up. And then we moved!

And now here we are, a continent away from where we started. Much happier, much healthier. Now we’re not selling nearly on the scale as we were before, but I know that with time we’ll be back to the level we were at. And I really hope to open a brick and mortar store somewhere in Austria sometime soon.

It really amazes me that some of you have been here from the beginning. It feels like several lifetimes have passed, but it also feels like it all happened in the blink of an eye.

I’m really so thankful for the opportunity I had to grow and learn so much and heal. I feel like I’m a completely different person than the desperate girl who started an Etsy shop in 2013.

And… this is just the tip of the iceberg. There’s still so much more that happened. When I first started seeing my therapist she encouraged me to write my story in a book, and it’s definitely something that I plan to do one day. I don’t think a younger version of myself would believe everything we survived. 🙏💜

[swordsonnet]

idk how to phrase this in a way that doesn't come across as overly confrontational, but these posts that are like "even if you're autistic, you still need to eat lots of vegetables :)" kind of rub me the wrong way. don't get me wrong, i get that eating vegetables is important, but a lot of the time these posts are ignorant to how sensory issues relating to food actually manifest in a lot of autistic people, and end up sounding... honestly quite condescending. sure, most of them are written by autistic people, but usually with relatively mild issues around food that they could just "train themselves out of", and so they seem to assume that every autistic person can do the same, which is just not true. there's a lot of "i guarantee you you'd love this vegetable if you just cooked it the right way!" or "you need to buy better quality veggies, just go to the farmer's market!", but for many autistic people, how something is cooked or where it's sourced from doesn't make a difference. (not to mention that following more complex recipes or going to the farmer's market isn't always possible for disabled people in the first place. many of us rely on food that is easy to prepare and can be found at the local supermarket/ordered online.)

when i say i don't like a certain food item, i don't mean that i find it a bit dull. i mean that it literally makes me feel sick, that it tastes like biting into something rotten. and that applies regardless of how it's prepared or where it's from. i'm mostly sensitive to bitterness, so there's a lot of vegetables i can't eat, and likely never will. i still try to regularly incorporate the vegetables i can eat into my diet, but i'm just not able to eat a wide variety of them.

and that's an experience these posts rarely acknowledge, let alone understand. the thing is, a lot of us have tried everything suggested in them, or have been forced to try it by our parents/guardians/teachers/etc. it's not like those things have never occurred to us until we saw random tumblr user #277379 talk about them! we have tried different ways of cooking the foods we hate, buying different kinds of them, mixing them with foods we like. and they still taste like dirt to us! because we're not just "picky eaters", we're dealing with debilitating sensory issues.

i know the people making those posts mean well. i'm not trying to shame anyone here. but i think it's important to understand that for at least some autistic people, their sensory issues around food can't be "fixed" with a few simple tricks.

[ophexis]

Hi! I'm alive! Let tell you about the

Elder Scrolls Cookbook!

Winner of the last poll! I know I'm under zero time constraints but sorry for taking a while lmao.

This is kind of going full circle for me, because when I joined tumblr, the very first thing I ever blogged about was my Skyrim playthroughs, not too long before I got into Saints Row and changed my life significantly. So this is kind of nostalgic for me lol. Anyway, onto the book!

The Elder Scrolls cookbook is a CLASSIC. Like I'm pretty sure it's not at all the first "nerdy" cookbook ever made, or even the first cookbook made for a specific franchise or anything, but when this came out it was kind of a big deal, probably because Skyrim was still a big deal lmao. I remember people trading the sweetrolls recipe around.

I kinda wonder if it's one of the first cookbook that tried to stay "in-universe". Because sometimes cookbooks really don't (there are a few Star Wars kids cookbooks that come to mind). But the Elder Scrolls cookbook is in-universe and has little lore snippets in each recipe, which I'm always a fan of.

The book is themed for The Elder Scrolls setting as a whole, but you can tell it came out at the height of Skyrim's popularity lol.

The book starts off with a chapter covering basics, from spice mixes to pie doughs to sauces, which I think is really cool. Not every cookbook has those, and they'll be used throughout the book so it's good to have a look through that chapter. Then the rest of the book is divided between sides, main meals, soups, breads, desserts and drinks. The recipes lean towards hearty recipes, perfect for surviving the harsh wilds of Tamriel.

The Nines know my poor fifth playthrough insomniac mage who I walked manually from Whiterun to the College of Winterhold would have needed it.

The cookbook has a photo for every recipe except one of the meads for some reasons lol. But I'll let that one slide because it's "just" a drink. It's not that hard to put a photo of food on recipes but man it is not standard and I'll complain about it forever. But the Skyrim cookbook has photos, thank the Nines.

I've cooked only one recipe from this book but what a recipe it is. Pictured above on the right, it's the orsimer venison, a sweet, slightly spicy, soy sauce meat recipe that is fuckin delicious and I've made it dozens of time (always with beef bc it's easier to find lol). On the left is the redguard rice, which is a current contender for the recipe I'll make from this for the poll (though I'm also looking at the Companion meatball recipe....which sounds funny said like that lmao). The redguard rice uses ground lamb, and I can't remember ever having lamb before! If I can find it I would definitely like to try.

We also, of course, have the Sweetroll recipe. I haven't made it yet but I recently and FINALLY found a small-sized fluted baking pan so I really want to make them soon.

Overall this is a really solid cookbook, it looks pretty, the photos are huge, there's a little bit of lore and story on every recipe. There are more fish-based recipes than I expected, which isn't as interesting for me but it adds variety. I kinda wish there were a few more main meals in there. I'm also torn on if I'd like the book to be divided by meal types as it is currently, or if it'd be neat to have the chapters be themed around cultures for extra lore flavor, like the DND cookbook. idk!

The recipes are pretty standard and don't tend to go for funky ingredients but I think that's fine. They do tend to go for venison and lamb for meat, which I think makes sense, thinking about Skyrim! (and yes the book is still very heavily focused on Skyrim, thought there are a few recipes from elsewhere) The recipes are hearty, using cheese, meats, lots of veggies and with a significant soup chapter and also lots of desserts. You'll be well fed as you travel Tamriel! Just watch your back for them Dark Brotherhood types.

Bonus themed images bc I feel like it: Some of the few surviving screenshots I had from Oblivion, when our computer couldn't run it well so my dad modded it to run at even lower specs and I'm pretty sure it turned off all the lighting. But I had such a great time.

My khajiit assassin at home uwu

And my main, in casual wear for some reason. She was a heavy armor build lol. And my outlet for making drow, without access to dnd.

ANYWAY hope this was mildly entertaining! I'll try to choose a recipe for this week, but I'm being forced to go into office more often so I can't garantee a time. Currently it's between the redguard rice and the companion meatballs.

Also check out Misohungrie's several few videos of him covering the cookbook and some extra recipes! I love his videos so you should check them out.

[sea-jello]

Regarding the BMC tumblr remake: I would like to preface this ask by saying that I appreciate your enthusiasm and dedication to the fandom. However, I have concerns that there might be arguments- about the final casting, about the script, about the portrayal of the characters, about how to split roles. What if someone gets upset over not getting a role and has an issue with the final cast? What if someone accuses the judges of being biased with the auditions? And I'm not sure if copyright issues exist- it probably won't be a big deal but if it becomes a problem, it's going to be messy. Not to mention people have their real lives to manage and schedules will most likely come into conflict.

I'm worried this could easily become a recipe for fandom drama and discourse if not managed carefully. I don't mean to be a killjoy. It's great how the fandom is still so lively despite being so small, but unfortunately that is exactly where the problem lies. If something goes wrong it could damage the entire fandom. I hope and trust it won't come to that but wanted to voice my thoughts: maybe there could be better approaches? Such as leaving it as an open-source sort of project with more freedom. People can seperately post covers and storyboard them. That way everyone can participate, no hard feelings about not being part of the cast or stress over managing everything.

Of course, I am in no place to discourage this project from happening nor do I mean to. I am aware you are still working out the details, which is why I thought it would be better to put my two cents in while things are still being discussed. Thank you for your hard work and have a good day!

hey i really appreciate you voicing your concerns! really helps me think through this stuff

first of all i think arguments are just inevitable for giant group projects, especially something to this magnitude. im gonna try to have as many people as possible in making big decisions and ofc ill be open to any suggestions from anyone at all. so far from the responses ive been getting most people who want a major actor role have said they would be happy just in ensemble or participating in other roles, like music or editing, so im really just trusting them on that. as for being biased no one who wants to audition will have a hand in casting and im not particularly friends with anyone in this fandom so ill try my best not to be biased skdbksdj. if I do need help with casting again im just gonna have to trust them

it's really all riding on trust in everyone involved, which is risky but you really can't control what other people do or feel. we're just gonna have to trust everyone wil be civil and fair to each other. it's just a part of teamwork

i ddon't really know how copyright works either but im really hoping it's fine. if people can make animatics and covers of the songs then we should be good right?? that's all we're doing. there's like some sort of only use for entertainment purposes or something idk ill have to read up on that

ik ppeople have real lives and schedules lord knows i do. that's why im waiting to see if we're actually doing this, and if enough people are interested. ive even specified in the form that this will be a big project and will require patience cause not everyone can work on this 24/7, though i can't say how many people actually read the question before clicking yes. ultimately we're just here to have fun, so nothing will be taken too seriously

i know something small can ruin the entire fandom which is why ive been so nervous about actually doing this, but again it's really on trust, and so far people seem civil and enthusiastic for anything. there's gonna be a LOT of freedom for this tbh my word isn't gonna be law. the artists can decide what to draw and the actors can decide the portrayal, which does go back to your point about arguments but they're gonna have to accept people having different ways of doing things just comes with the job. if they can't accept that then honestly they're probably too young or not mature enough to even watch bmc, let alone work on a big project online. ofc some things are gonna have to be controlled for the sake of smoothness and just collaboration in general, but i think they can handle that

again im very open to suggestions but ultimately i will still be one of the people running the whole thing (i most likely will need help if we do it) so obviously there's still gonna be stuff like no changing anything without telling anyone. im not gonna be like the dictator or something im just,, a small step higher (i don't want to sound pretentious but,, yeah) i want everyone to be able to express their portrayals and takes on the show, teamwork and different points of view is just part of what makes this fun. idk how well a lot of freedom would work but we'll adjust as we go. so ig it sorta is similar to an open source project, we're just compiling them all into 2 hours together

as for participation im trying to make sure everyone who wants to can participate! i have said in the form to pick a backup in case you don't get a major character role. if you can't sing or draw or anything there's a speaking ensemble for like the people shouting over each other in the smartphone hour, or like people at the mall or something in be more chill pt1. other than the major characters there is no age limit, which might be an issue but ill try my best to sort them out. again it's just trust they won't lie about their age, cause ik some people are uncomfortable with a certain age. scenes like dywr/dywh is a HARD 16 year old limit, even for editors and artists. I've got age limits for the characters posted somewhere cause ik there are actual adults auditioning. the actors feeling comfortable or not are gonna have to be taken into account of course, but we'll sort that out if we get there. and again i will have a lot of people helping with management and might ask for opinions from people who aren't doing management too

like you said i am still thinking this through, so these are just my answers at this point in time. i will change my decisions if i have to, so thank you so much for bringing this up! see this is already an example of civil teamwork, and i really hope it will continue for the rest of the project if we do it

[gilliebee]

nine (9) people you'd like to know better

I got tagged by the wonderful @five4boarding and tumblr never gives me a little +1 notification icon when I get tagged in anything (like any other type of note would, so I don’t get it!!), so I live in fear that I’m always gonna miss these BUT I caught this one at least 👉😎👉

Last song: during my morning walk I randomly remembered the catchiest depression bop and then remembered the first time I looked up the guy's wiki and saw that he played hockey and I was like you're telling me a knife-footed ice-gremlin sang this???? (swiss juniors but still high level for his age bracket I think?) Anyway... Tomorrow May Not Be Better (specifically this version https://open.spotify.com/track/0V1quXmlVC6eH5kcfYPWEW ) by Bastian Baker still slaps to this very day 😌👌

Currently watching: My longstanding guilty pleasure is docs/commentary videos about any and all scams, particularly mlms/pyramid schemes. So it should come as no surprise that my brand new guilty pleasure is debt confessions/financial audits on youtube 🙈 I've been been watching a few by caleb hammer whose gimmick is that he gordon ramsey style shames people who come in with their financial records and he's like hey. why do you have $120,000 in consumer debt? why did you finance an ipad for your literal infant child?? why have you spent 30 dollars multiple times a day every day at dunkin for the last 3 months??? (the last one is an exaggeration but the first two I have seen LOL). His thumbnails are wretched I hate them so, so much, and his advice of living spartan-like for a few years to dig yourself out of the hole is ehhh maybe good in theory but generally not exactly...practical. And I think going cold turkey when you're used to constant impulse buying is basically a recipe for just eventually losing control and going on a bender. But. I'm nosy and love hearing about how people be spending their money so that's the best part of the videos for me lol

Currently reading: haven't picked up something new yet BUT I juuuust finished An Unauthorised Fan Treatise which was SO GOOD I literally slammed it nonstop for two days until I finished it. It's formatted like a rpf conspiracy theory livejournal where a fangirl of a supernatural-drama show compiles evidence that the two lead actors are secretly dating. BUT it's noted that the livejournal has been submitted as evidence into for a murder trial so y'know TWISTS AND TURNS lol. There's just something about the format that really compels me, idk I already love reading primers and conspiracies for hrpf couples that I literally have zero investment in and never will- I just enjoy the way the girlies spin a good narrative. (and also watching video essays about the uhhh less casual to super trainwreck ones like the whole larry fiasco even though I never got into 1D, as well as general fandom fiascos like msscribe and snapewives etc etc IT'S ALL SO FASCINATING TO ME 🍿👀) So it was a really natural fit for me to read in a fictional setting. And it's free to read! https://gottiewrites.com/2019/10/14/31/

Current obsession: I’m a hobbyist game maker so at all times I am rotating little bits of character development, experimental mechanics, aesthetics, ui design etc etc in my brain but it becomes much more mentally consuming during the off-season bc god knows when bruins hockey is live it is Featured Live 24/7 In My Brain. But for now... my OCs on my mind 😌💭

tagging (if you want to): OH NO I’M SO BASHFUL I NEVER KNOW WHO TO TAG IN THESE 🫣🫣🫣 uh uh uhh maybe @ghostgeno @alavenderleaf @tylerbertuzzi @reavenedges-lies @krugstrash if y’all are so inclined?? but also no pressure no pressure again I’m just NOSY hehe

[veyette]

I'm really excited to see the Speedrunner vs 6 hunters coming up for so many reasons (rant ahead sorry)

1) Who's the sixth hunter ? There's already a lot of speculations (Tommy, Punz, Hannah, Spreen, Foolish, Jojosolos even...) and they're honnestly all great. And they would change so much the video, like clearly Tommy is a great player but he is naturally more fun axed, so it'd be nice to see him on serious business mode (+discduo content <3).

Punz seems more raccord with the others hunters, so it seems the more coherent to add (good PVPer, movement player, good follower too)

Hannah would be just as impressive as Punz. She may be a little less used to play with Dream and the hunters, but that's only from an outside POV, seems like she did great in Squidcraft with Sapnap and George in terms of teaming. And her prowess in MC is not to prove any longer.

Spreen would be super original, great player and great fan content (at least on tumblr, twitch and twitter) : my only worries if it's him is communication (really important in manhunt and difficult to juggle around, though it'd be super cool if they played with the usmp mod) and team play. Then again, 6 hunters is a really difficult level so maybe it's good to add some difficulties for the hunters ? Spreen is absolutely great on his own and I would love to see him 1v1 Dream on a challenge like that. He could purchase Dream with Sapnap, who'd relay info. Idk, it'd be so cool but the changes seem too important to the usual recipe for it to actually happen :(

Foolish : that'd be really good to see, especially since he watched and reviewed manhunt. He is a great addition to any group and good support. I'm not so sure about his skills in PVP and movement though (like litteraly, I don't know anything about them), but then again with sixth hunters not really necessary to have 6 great fighting opponents. But he is really occupied with the q.smp as of now so not sure where he'd find the time (same thing for BBH though so who knows ?)

Jojosolo, I admit, is a guilty pleasure. I'd really love to see her in it, seeing how good of a MC player she is and her willingness to team with Dream, and I think she'd bring many wonderful things to the game - But I doubt she'd be chosen because the team needs to work together and they, outwardly at least, never really did. I'd 100% love to see her there but seeing the new hunters are often close friends of Dream I doubt she'll chosen especially with all the others options

It could also be someone totally different lol (Callahan or RedVelvet would be a great surprise)

2) The game in itself : like, I'm 98% sure it'll be the usual formula with Dream's POV in mc, against his 5 usual hunters and a new one.

BUT it also could be an IRL one, especially now that he has the mask, that he scouted things around and that all their friends went there once.

It could be 6 hunters with totally new hunters (in which case we could have maybe multiple people seen upon) which would compensate the high number

Still think it's going to be the regular format though

3) The plays. Obviously Dream isn't a fan of forgettable videos for his most famous serie : but what will he even be able to do ? I'm not a great mc player (like, I rather build and farm than jump and fight) but the amount of things he already did in mc will restrict him a little in terms of originality. Then again, it's at least 10 videos where they find new ways to beat the game.

That's also why I wonder whether they'll change something about the format or the hunters : but all the previous manhunt got the same doubt about the originality of the play and look where we are.

4) The win. It's no mystery that both Hunters and Dream got a chance to win but to say which here... Like, logically it'd be the hunters. But often it's Dream, who uploads, that gets out victorious. But it's 6 hunters and if he wants to do a follow-up it better be a win for them so he can get revenge. Unless he needs to win so the challenge seems possible. Aaah

Also, the fact the date is unsure. I saw so many people think the manhunt release will be the 23 but it seems to be for his song (presave it if you didn't already !). I doubt Dream would post the two the same day so... I fear I must content myself with a "Speedrunner vs 6 hunters" SOON

[aesrot]

🧸🪀🔔 for any character you fucking want. go wild my dearest <3

sorry for taking so long, tumblr deleted everything i wrote and i had to write it again :') also since you gave me the liberty to choose, i made two of these about riptide and one about bitb! heads up for spoilers, specially in the last one.

🧸hurt/comfort headcanon

since jay and gillion are so emotionally fucked up and traumatised, they have a reeeeally hard time figuring out their feelings and talking about them. talk through it is not something they understand. they are used to action and violence, not emotional support.

chip, on the other hand, had a better childhood (at least for as long as it lasted w the black rose pirates), he had people to talk to him when he was upset and who were there for him when he needed support. obviously he's still pretty fucked up bc of his own traumas, but i believe he's the one who's most likely to actually process his own feelings in a healthier way than the other two.

so, its slow and it doesnt always end well, but he tries his best to be patient and to show the others that they can be vulnerable around him. that he will listen to them, that they dont have to suppress it all, that they dont have to suck it up and deal with everything by themselves anymore. its not easy, but they're slowly opening up and healing.

🪀silly headcanon

not sure if silly or angsty, and i said this b4 i think, but i believe timothy rand knows how to bake. his only reason for learning that is because he wants to make edibles (or thats what he tells himself). so he'd often hang out in the kitchen with his mom to watch or maybe even help her cook when his dad wasnt around. but deep down thats a way for him to bond with his mom, because he doesnt know how else to approach her.

so, the silly part is that although rolan is the canon malewife and does all the cooking, he lets rand help him sometimes. rand, ofc, tries to sprinkle some weed in their food when rolan isnt looking, and even tries to create his own recipes with kians help (well, help is a strong word), which may or not go terribly wrong and end up w rolan scolding them and making them clean the entire kitchen.

🔔unpopular opinion

idk about unpopular, but i believe there's a chance niklaus isnt a villain. i know i was brainstorming with bee earlier (which btw she has some pretty fucking cool ideas, everyone should check it out), but hear me out.

ik niklaus has everything to be the bad guy: he knows everything, he's too powerful, keeps making shady deals, and his name is followed by dread. hell, he fits perfectly in the stereotype of 'villain wants powerful thing that he cant get it by himself, so he manipulates everyone to get it for him'.

BUT we know too little. theres some information there that we dont know yet, that we're missing. he could very much make a deal with the other bad and powerful guys (aka the navy or the elders or god knows who else is out there) but he's sticking to the people who are against those guys. idk, something about the deals he makes sound kinda desperate for me. obvsly he's too composed to show that when he talks, but i sense there's something that makes him worried, anxious, so he's always ready to intervene if the situation goes out of hand. and the whole thing with arlin? sus af imo.

maybe he is the bad guy. or maybe he has the knowledge of some greater thing thats still beyond our (and the crew) comprehension. so he can sense what things are leading up to and is pulling some strings to shift their destiny to do or avoid something specific. but we'll have to wait and see

[cannibalise-the-citrus-fruits]

1: yes

2: p sure my dad

3: yeah

4: not particularly, although that might just be bc I don't tend to put myself in situations that would dredge things like that up

5: single

6: something painless

7: ribs 🤤🤤🤤🤤

8: not right now, but I used to do marching band

9: no

10: depends

11: I like a lot of people. none romantically tho, which I think is what this question is asking

12: no

13: not on a personal level, no

14: not anyone in particular, but I do wish I remembered to reach out and talk to people more

15: two cats, and a few fish. I will admit to caring about the cats more than the fish

16: introspective

17: no

18: yeah. recently learned I am far more afraid of smaller spiders than larger spiders when there was like a three or four inch spider just sitting near the art cubbies in class a few weeks ago. didn't freak me out nearly as much as a one inch spider would have

19: depends. to see different historical eras, absolutely I would, but if we're talking more personal, make your life better by making a different decision? I'd have to think about it way more

20: snogged? what are you, british? N/A

21: video games, reading fanfiction, hopefully gonna visit my grandpa

22: idk, ask me again when I'm not 18

23: no, but I've been considering getting my ears pierced

24: Math. I fucking love math

25: didn't I already answer this one? question 14? if the two are meant differently I don't know what the difference is

26: no particular foods, just ate me some tasty ribs

27: not romantically to my knowledge, but this feels like a bit of an ambiguous question

28: no

29: N/A

30: these questions feel very hetero/amatonormative and that's starting to get on my nerves

31: I certainly hope so, my parents are sitting in the same room rn. if my parents didn't love me I would be very sad

32: lime green

33: I don't think I do, no

34: I don't remember. maybe I should start a dream journal. that could be fun

35: honestly, it's been so long I have no idea

36: I don't think I do, no

37: the processes of those two things are not comporable enough to say which is easier in my opinion

38: LMAO no. If I had to pick, I'd probably say 2021, but I also wasn't especially affected by the start of the pandemic

39: see, this is what I was talking about back in question 30. N/A

40: no

numbers 41-50 are missing

51: the homemade pizza recipe my family makes. it's really good

52: I believe everything happens for multiple reasons. I ate ribs today because someone suggested it when my family and I were making a meal plan for this week. the ribs were kinda mid because we made double the amount we usually do and weren't as familiar with the recipe in large quantities. I'm writing this list because I feel like it. in terms of like, higher purpose reasons? no

53: I won a game of civ 6

54: depends on ur definition. having sex with someone outside an established relationship? as long as everyone is okay with it, do whatever. doing that but one party is unaware/not okay with it? no

55: I am not qualified to answer this question because this is a subjective quality and I am biased in favor of myself.

56: I think like one. maybe two. this was also back in elementary school

57: bestie what does that even mean. there are so many ways this can be interpreted.

58: depends on the time of day. cloudy/light rain during the day, clear at night (although rain isn't unwelcome overnight)

59: yeah

60: see answer 22

61: idk, it's never happened to me

62: more things than can be listed in a tumblr reblog, and many more that I haven't found

63: no, I'm pretty happy with the name my parents gave me

64: I'm pretty sure this is meant romantically, in which case, N/A and also go look at my answer for question 30 again

65: QUESTION THIRTY AGAIN MY GOD. anyways probably talk about it with them.

66: this is the third answer in a row that I'm gonna have to refer you back to question 30. I am going to be VERY GENEROUS and pretend that you just mean "friend you are romantically attracted to", in which case no, but only bc I'm not currently attracted to anyone. I was fully capable of this when I was down bad two years ago

67: I really wish I didn't have to cite question 30 again. and I wouldn't, if it weren't for the fact that, taken with the context of the other questions here, this question has connotations of "ooooooo someones got a cruuuuuuuush you should go talk to them and see if they're interested" instead of what would otherwise be interpreted as "when was the last time you had a conversation with someone with whom you do not share these particular traits". to answer the contextless question, like ten minutes ago I had a small chat with my mom.

68: a few days ago I brought up immortality in the car with my sibling and I think that was a pretty interesting conversation.

69: no

70: I think if it came down to it, no.

Having now gone through the entire list, I can confirm that these questions were, indeed, horrible. Not because they were especially introspective or personal, but because OP needs to learn how to ask better questions.

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

Hi, so I'm the anonymous ask lol, which feels silly in hindsight so if we can ignore that lol, I'd appreciate it :D

Idk, I basically just started getting back into writing post-graduation since I actually had mental space for it, and I've really enjoyed the interactions I've had with people in the community on AO3, but I'm not great at those interactions either I guess? Or maybe I just feel silly haha, but I'm trying to do better at reaching out and joining community spaces :)

That's really helpful, though! I'm trying to do better at just letting myself exist without feeling weird/hyper-critical about what I post, which is why my Tumblr/AO3/Discord aren't linked to my irl social handles, but sometimes the public-ness of AO3 is hard for me to overcome, if that makes sense? I always feel bad for not responding to people as much or reaching out, but I'm doing my best :)

Anyway, I really appreciate this! It's helpful to hear for sure. You're genuinely one of my favorite writers in the community, so the encouragement means a lot.

it's not silly!!! but obligingly, i pull out a forgetinator and blast myself in the face with it. ignore what? what were we talking about?

anyway, OMG HI!!!!!!! hi hi hello hi hello hello hi!!! imagine just a million heart emojis everywhere because HI!!!!! your fics are. SO good oh my god. genuinely just so fuckin good. and now you're in my inbox. WOw. flapping my hands like a demented seal.

im glad!!! im gonna graduate soon (undergrad/uni for me) and i can understand how the relief might make a better headspace for writing--although i'm going straight to grad school so we'll see if i get anywhere on that front. sigh.

but oh my god i totally get what you mean. i have no idea how to make social interaction on purpose, i generally just let people come to me. i used to joke i don't start conversations but end them (by prolonging them for so long the other person runs away, rip). but hey!!! look!!! it's working!!! you've stumbled into my TRAP!!! (the trap is social interaction with me) (i mean this so light heartedly i swear) ANYWAY my point being i'm also not great at interactions, i think, and i feel very silly trying. i feel silly even messaging in the discord, and i actually know some people there!

also, yeah, ao3 does feel so public, i get not wanting to feel self conscious--also oh my god please don't connect your irl accounts to ao3/tumblr. i mean i wouldn't judge anyone who does but holy shit i'd explode. also it seems like a recipe for disaster probably, esp bc the internet and people knowing your irl info and etc. but like, if anyone i know irl, or like, employers or something, saw my silly gay porn, or worse, the memes, i think i'd just have to turn into bats. pack it up boys we're bats now (<- my braincells). god forbid they find out about gertson. (that's an inside joke that's not even from this blog don't worry about it.) ANYWAY i also like. mmm i should respond to comments more but i have so little energy (uni...) that i usually don't unless they specifically ask me something or need a response for some reason. i get the struggle.

i'm glad it could be helpful at all!!! also i need you to know i read that and did the Autism Full Body Wiggle Of Happiness. i do not know how to take compliments but i sure can try. especially, again, coming from YOU, one of MY favorite authors in the fandom,

[run-me-through-but-not-like-that]

i freaking love your fics sm they are like cup noodles for serotonin i just open tumblr and i am happy

i was wondering if we could have a fic with izzy where the reader's love language is giving a lot of homemade food? idk i just really like making food for people when i love them and i think izzy needs to calm down and have some fresh pastries <33

anyway your blog is everything i check in every day for more fics,, take caree :]]

Making Izzy Hands Homemade Treats:

Roach hated people being in his kitchen, everyone on the Revenge knew that and knew it was best to stay out as much as they could. However, you were the exception.

You have a passion for food and cooking that Roach resected, plus the two of you would share recipes with each other. He even let you have control of the kitchen when he wasn't around, and he never let anyone touch anything in his kitchen.

You grinned as you plated the second batch of pastries, somebody walking into the galley just in time. Your head perked up, smiling growing when you saw the grumpy first mate approaching you.

"Izzy! Just the man I wanted to see," you beamed, waving him over.

Your excitement to see him must have threw him off because his steps faltered and all he asked was, "really?"

"Yes! Come here, please," you eagerly grabbed your two plates of treats and placed them in front of you.

"What the fuck is this about?" Izzy asked, glaring at the confectionaries. Apparently, he had found his footing again.

"Okay, so, I'm been working on these pastries and I want to know which batch is better," you explained, gesturing too the fresh pastries in front of you, hoping to tempt him at least a little bit.

"This is a waste of rations," Izzy complained, but still approached the table.

"Captain Bonnet allowed it," you assured him, even if you knew it would only piss him off more, realistically.

"Can't somebody else do this?" he asked.

"Nope. I need an unbiased opinion. If they're awful, you'll tell me and be an asshole about it. Perfect," you told him, hoping he picked up on your slightly playful tone as you called him an asshole. "Normally Roach gives me proper opinions and advice, I do the same for him, but I'm trying to master the recipe before he does," you conspired.

"Fine, whatever. Get it over with," Izzy huffed, raising an eyebrow at you expectantly.

With a smile, you handed him a pastry from the first batch. He made sure to shoot you a glare before taking a conservative bite. Still, you saw the slight quirk of his lips and fluttering of the eyelids. He liked it.

He nodded some sort of approval before placing the rest of the pastry down, letting you hand him one from the second batch.

Izzy repeated the process, his glare lacking this time before he took a bite, a little bigger than the last. You watched his jaw work as he chewed, too excited to hear some feedback.

"So...which is better?" you asked, rocking back and forth on your heels, as Izzy placed the remainder of his pastry down.

Izzy glanced at you before looking between the two plates, absentmindedly licking the icing off of his lips. "The second batch," he nodded.

"I knew it!" you grinned, throwing your arms up in victory. "I added cinnamon to those, good right?" you told him.

"Now get back to doing something fucking useful," Izzy snapped before leaving the kitchen. Whatever he had originally come in here for, it apparently didn't matter much.

Izzy pushed the whole stupid thing out of his mind but when he returned to his cabin that night, he found a basket of cinnamon pastries sat on his desk.

A part of him wanted to march into the galley and throw the pastries in your face, but another part of him thought better of it. They were delicious and nobody else had to know, he just wouldn't mention it.

-

Izzy didn't mind night shift so much, enjoyed it more than he once did anyway. Back then it was a long night followed by a day of back breaking work. Now, it was a break from Bonnet's insufferable crew.

Well, mostly.

Since you couldn't seem to leave things be, he turned at the sound of creaking steps to see you joining him on the quarterdeck. In your hands were two cloth wrapped items.

"What's this for?" Izzy questioned as you held one of the items out to him.

"You didn't have dinner, you should eat something," you were telling him, not asking him. "Just some chicken pie and some sugar biscuits for sweetness," you told him, waving your other cloth wrapped item around. Likely the biscuits.

Izzy was too hung up on the first thing you said, though. You noticed he didn't eat? For a moment he felt warm, before figuring that you just saw that his rations were left behind when you and Roach went to clean up.

"Just take it, you don't even need to say thank you," you rolled your eyes, pushing the wrapped pie into his hand.

"Whatever," he huffed, accepting it.

"I noticed that whenever we use a fatty meat, you don't eat it. If there's a problem, I could prepare something different for you," you offered as he unwrapped the pie.

"It'd be a waste of rations," Izzy protested.

"Not if you're eating. Next time we have to work with fatty meats, I'll make you something leaner, okay?" you assured him. Once again, you weren't asking.

Izzy frowned down at the pie before turning to you properly. "Why?"

"Because you have to eat, Izzy. You'll make yourself sick," you shrugged, like it was nothing.

"Why do you care?" he asked, squinting at you. Suspicious.

"Because I do. Now, eat up. I can get you a coffee if you want, help you make it through the shift?" you placed a hand under his, lifting the pie up to his face.

Izzy sighed, the pie did smell good. "Yeah...yeah, alright, I guess," he agreed, letting you hand him the wrapped up biscuits as well.

"Give me a few minutes," you winked and danced off to fetch him that coffee.

Izzy had no idea what was going on in your head but it seemed innocent enough. There was no denying he was beyond confused by you but the pros seemed to be outweighing the cons. Your cooking was good, better than Roach's (even he wouldn't say that to Roach's face though).

Either way, Izzy finished the food you brought him, and he enjoyed every bite.

It was only a couple of weeks later that the crew were eating a stew that Izzy already knew he shouldn't eat, knew that it wouldn't sit right in his stomach. Normally he would just grab a bread roll on days like these, grab some hardtack later on if he got hungry. Before he could do that, though, you were pushing a bowl into his hands with a wink.

Whatever it was, however it was different to what the rest of the crew were eating, it was delicious and didn't upset his stomach in the slightest.

-

Over the following months you made a mental list of all of Izzy's preferences. More than anything, you had learnt that Izzy certainly had a sweet tooth. While he wasn't a huge fan of spice, it not being great on his stomach, but he did light up when that spice was undercut with some sweetness. Still, he shouldn't eat too much of it.

And over those months, Izzy began only taking his meals from you. Roach was a fine cook but he knew that what you were giving him would be adapted to his tastes, that you would have made sure it was just the way he liked it. He didn't even realise it was happening at first but he definitely didn't stop once he did. It was the best food he had ever eaten while on a ship.

You managed to intercept Izzy in the passageways of the ship. "Hey, Iz. Stede asked for some cakes for this evening, I made a few too many. Interested?" you asked, holding a tin (assumingly filled with little cakes) in your hands.

"What the fuck did he want cakes for?" Izzy scowled.

"We just got a restock on oranges so he wanted little citrusy cakes for him and Edward," you shrugged. "Anyway, Roach already took them down. They're really good. Thought our First Mate should get the extras," you handed him the tin of little cakes and he instinctively took them.

"Thank you for the captain's leftovers," he said sarcastically.

"Oh, come on. You know I made extra just for you, don't be so difficult. Take the damn cakes and enjoy them," you rolled your eyes.

"Right...right, yeah, okay," Izzy nodded.

That was the thing wasn't it, he did know that you made them just for him. He just never expected you to actually say it, it was just something the two of you didn't acknowledge. Until know, apparently.

-

"Okay...how about this one?" you asked, holding the spoon out in front of you, your other hand under it in case you spilled any of its contents. Izzy lent forward from the other side of the table, taking the spoon in his mouth.

You had talked Izzy into tasting a bunch of new jams, spreads, and conserves that you had been working on. It wasn't your speciality but the captains loved them, so you figured you better learn. And who better to assist you than your favourite taste-tester.

"That one's more bitter," Izzy told you, not completely helpful information. You already knew that.

"Good bitter, like complimentary bitter, or just bad bitter?" you probed, pulling the spoon back and wiping it off.

"I don't know," Izzy shrugged, huffing slightly. He could tell you when he liked things or disliked things, he didn't know how else to help other than that.

"Oh, okay!" you perked up, idea coming to mind. You slathered the conserve onto one of Roach's new biscuit recipes and held it out to him, "try this."

Izzy took the biscuit from you and popped it into his mouth. "Okay, yeah, good bitter. Very complimentary," he nodded, swallowing the last bite.

"Yes!" you grinned. Izzy couldn't help but smile a little bit as well, seeing how your face lit up at your success.

"Okay, great. How about this one?" you held out another spoon full.

Izzy tasted it without argument. You still couldn't believe you had managed to pull him away from his duties to sit here with you for this.

"...put it in a cake," he suggested, already picturing how well it would pair with your cream cakes.

"That's exactly what I thought!" you agreed excited, "see, I can always rely on you."

"Okay, this is a subtle one. Roach came back with a bunch of these fruits I've never even seen before. They're nice, refreshing, a little hard to work with but I figured it out. So, close your eyes," you ordered, preparing another spoon full.

"Close my eyes?" Izzy questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah. So you can really focus on the the flavour," you explained, waving the spoon about.

"Fine," he sighed and closed his eyes, putting trust into you.

With your free hand, you gently held his chin, just so he would know when it was coming. He took the spoon into his mouth.

"Thoughts?" you asked expectantly.

"I like that one. Not too much, y'know?" Izzy told you, opening his eyes again.

"Should have figured you'd like a subtle flavour from time to time," you chuckled fondly, "okay, last one, but you're going to need to close your eyes again."

Izzy sighed but closed his eyes again, even though you hadn't even prepared the spoon yet.

You shifted back and forth nervously as you eyed him, trying to both talk yourself out of it and into it.

Bracing one hand against the table and holding Izzy's chin with your other, just like you did before, you lent towards him. With only a little more hesitation, you inched forward and lightly pressed your lips to his.

Izzy tensed but just as you were about to pull away and apologise profusely, he began to kiss you back. You lingered, smiling into his mouth. You could still taste the jam on his tongue.

"So, uh...how was that one?" you asked quietly as you pulled away, back to your side of the table.

"...sweet," he answered, making you smile as his eyes fluttered open.

"Okay, pick your favourite," you lined up the jars, hands hovering over them.

"Including that last one?" Izzy asked, a flush crawling up his neck. You couldn't help but smile even more, now he was flirting.

"Other than the last one," you rolled your eyes fondly.

Izzy looked over the jars a few times before stopping on one. "...that one," he pointed to a jar with a pale pink conserve in.

"Then it's all yours," you handed it to him without hesitation.

"...seriously?" Izzy frowned a little, taking the jar from you.

"Of course. This is your favourite, you can have it. I want you to have it. I'll make you some of those cookies you like to put it on," you assured him.

"Thanks..." Izzy accepted the gift with a small smile.

"Anytime," you promised, beginning to tidy up the kitchen. Izzy decided that he would stay and help you.

[procrastinatingsoicanreadfanfics]

Social media

Which social media platforms I think the Vikings (and a few Saxons) would use most in modern times.

Ragnar

tiktok

takes ‘dilf’ as a compliment

ubbe begs him to stop

the one time aslaug and lagertha checked his fyp, they were instantly traumatized

uses tiktok as a coping mechanism

Bjorn

Tinder

my man is just constantly swiping right

this has gotten hm into trouble before

no, Bjorn, changing your gender to female so you can bait astrid lesbians is not okay

Ubbe

facebook

probably in a group with a bunch of moms

regularly comments on lagertha’s posts

actually posts some good advice

tries to keep his dignity when his facebook friends find out about ragnar’s tiktok

Hvitserk

snapchat

uses it as a dating app

honestly, his snapscore is probably higher than yours

he needs to keep track of his friends, nights out and hook-ups somehow

Sigurd

spotify

this guy has taste

too many playlists though

one may be titled ‘fuck off ivar’

stalks everyone’s spotify

Ivar

tumblr, and you can’t change my mind

king of shitposting

has about a thousand sideblogs

all of them are successful

kind of problematic

but only bc he’s right

everything is sarcastic

Gyda

pinterest

has the best boards

occasionally gets one of ivar’s tumblr posts on her recommended, saves them as support

has a cottagecore board

may start to look at ao3 more when she gets older

Lagertha

facebook

posts bad pictures of her children

bjorn begs her to stop

she makes an alter-ego tinder profile of bjorn with her photos

a lot of people recognize him

Astrid

everything

gets herself in trouble almost every day

she’s still a queen though

mostly instagram, and has a fairly nice feed too

gets doxxed though

Aslaug

twitter

she’s the queen of twitter, tbh

tweets about ivar or harbard mostly

will expose your tea

Athelstan

tumblr

this man IS the science side of tumblr

only has one blog

that should be citable in doctor’s thesis

rarely shitposts

Floki

reddit

didn’t use any social media but then he found out about r/christianity

the biggest troll

has at least 45 banned accounts by now

he can’t help it

starts an instagram dedicated to helga

Helga

also pinterest

has a board for recipes and stuff

the sweetest person, as always; posts the best recipes

adores gyda’s boards

might use Life360 for some time, but gives up on it very quickly

Harald

Tinder, Bumble,...

he tries

doesn’t know how to text without being creepy

eventually swallows his pride and goes to bjorn

things go uphill from there

Halfdan

discord

idk, just feeling it

likes to talk to his friends and tries to convince bjorn to try it

texts a minor by accident (nothing sexual though!)

finds out it’s one of Rollo’s kids

they conspire against Rollo together

Rollo

Life360

but like, passively

Gisla told him to install it bc he has no regard for his own safety

complains that his own children don’t even use Life360

“well, your children don’t get themselves waterboarded by their relatives on a regular basis”

this settles it

got banned from twitter at some point

Judith

Life360

not for Alfred, he’s her most responsible child

but for ecbert

sometimes she’ll wake up in the middle of the night with the knowledge that ecbert is doing something illegal

checks Life360

ecbert is in another country by that time

poor her

talks about her struggles with gisla

Ecbert

twitter

tweets about everything

also insults his lords (co-workers?)

no shame

gets cancelled at least once a month

Alfred

also Life360

also for Ecbert

but sometimes, he’ll be on Ivar’s tumblr, commenting something sarcastic on every post he can find

[otasnox]

idk there's a lot of stuff i miss. ultimately? i think i'm better off now then i was then. but man, i was fucking HAPPY back then. i'm sure as hell not now!

idk. i miss dave's cabin in alaska, his dogs, the smell of his cigarettes while i watched snow fall. i miss sitting in a shitty manhattan apartment, only temporarily, and kissing him. was that our first kiss? i can't remember. i miss waking up in the same bed as him. i miss the nomad, i miss sunny. god, i miss sunny.

does she know how much i love her? probably not. i had a lot on my mind back then but god, that doesn't excuse me being a mediocre father. (the only reason i'm not saying i'm a bad father is because the bar is so, so low in source. the bar is on the floor and some of those dads (my dad and dave's dad) started fucking digging. jesus christ.

i wish i could say sorry to a lot of people. i wish i could tell emma sorry. i wish i could tell sunny sorry. i wish i could tell my mom sorry. i don't even fucking remember my mom, what do i have to apologize for? but i feel guilty anyway. i wish i could tell raiden sorry. i wish i could tell just about everyone at shadow moses i was sorry. i wish so so badly i could tell olga how fucking sorry i am, how sorry me and dave were.

did we do right by her? do you think she was proud of how her daughter grew up? probably, but no thanks to me and dave. i think i remember trying (and succeeding, thank god) to be better to her after mgs4, but my memory's fuzzy right now. i couldn't give you examples.

is it weird to miss all that? it never really happened. it's a fucking video game. but god, to me it feels so, so real. it's so weird to recall these things so vividly. i wouldn't change it for the world, though, because if i couldn't find my identity in fictional characters, who would i even be?

i never did end up having a smoke with dave, i don't think. we might've had drinks a couple times? i don't remember. i was never much of an alcohol person (then OR now). i think i remember smoking weed, or maybe it was edible gummies, something weed-related, with him. that was fun, even if i barely remember it. maybe we can do that again in this life. i'd like that.

i miss a lot of big things but i miss a lot of small things, to. i miss kissing him. i miss hugging him, i miss cuddling him. hell, i miss talking to him. i love my girlfriend now, but we're obviously different fucking people than we were in source. sometimes i just long for something that's only a distant memory, you know? i miss eating with him. sometimes we had takeout, sometimes instant ramen. neither of us were fantastic chefs, but i think both of us could follow a recipe just fine. i used to watch great british bakeoff with sunny, did i ever say? and dave said he wasn't interested, and then he would stand behind the couch and watch it anyway. it's such a him thing to do.

i think i only miss source this much lately because of how fucking lonely i am now. i think i genuinely have like less than ten people i would call close friends (all online), no idea how many online friends i have in total-- less than 50, i'd wager, considering i have slightly more than that in followers on my (priv) twitter (and a good chunk of those are old accounts) & less than 5 friends i met on tumblr that i can name off the top of my head. i have three friends in real life, one of which i haven't talked to in a year. other two i haven't seen since october. i have plenty of acquaintances-to-friends (i'm quick to call people friends but i always feel awkward in case they wouldn't say we're friends) in various discord servers i talk in.

i love all my friends so, so dearly, please don't get me wrong, but going so long without like real-life contact other than my mom and my two siblings? i think it's making me a little crazy. who else have i hugged in the past month? my grandparents, i think (when they left after new years). my aunt & maybe my uncle, i don't remember. my two cousins. (all of those were before new year, now that i think about it...) it's to the point where some of the only physical contact i've had outside of my immediate family has been doctor's appointments and physical therapy. like, it's BAD. i always feel a little happier after a doctor's appointment literally just because it feels so nice to have physical fucking contact with someone. it's fucking pathetic!

and i've seriously only spoken out loud to two friends this month (the two friends i normally call with), and my drums teacher...? i guess he's a friend, but he's a mentor, so i don't know if i would classify that as a friend...? i don't know. i like him, though, he's fun. i've spoken to my aunt, i guess, if she counts? but she's family, i don't know. i miss going to school, isn't that fucking pathetic? i was a junior for THREE YEARS, i get why i dropped out. i don't even miss the work i did, i just miss fucking being around other people! it's so bad

i don't know. i hope i get my fucking GED soon so i can enroll in community college because i need something to do and i need to talk to people or else i'm gonna do something fucking stupid (probably cut myself)

oh well! i should probably sleep soon.

missing source