#idk. I just feel like it's worth pointing it out considering *that* experience I had with rude demanding requests

[salty-an-disco]

If you're up to drawing

I would like to see Re! Contrarian and Re!Hero. Your take on them are so cute!

Awww, thanks! I'm really glad you think so <3

I gotta draw them more anyway, so that I get used enough to their designs that I can mindlessly make silly doodles of them.

Also, since I'm here, here's these guys that have been in my photos for a while but I forgor to share

Re!Cold and Smitty. They both became more emo, but in very different ways.

(rearranged AU originally made by @remaking-machine)

[poopystain]

guys lol would you still love me if i posted about why i wish pal from tmvtm got a redemption arc >.< if not Do not click that read more.

oh yes. also. sidenote. ive probably gotten something wrong (or worse yet: TERRIBLY wrong) so like. apologies in advance eahhaha this is just my personal thoughts on pal x(

its established that pal and mark are both extremely close with each other and have been for 3 years. im assuming pal wouldnt have had any other relationships as close (if any at all which i think no, she didnt) so mark really was her only footnote for any form of relationship. so, you know, i cant imagine how itd feel for your only best friend to make a mockery out of you on stage for advertisement and monetary gain.

also based on her body (face?) language during nearly all of that scene + the fact he built the replacement by using HER, she was clearly in the know about how things would go down on stage beforehand so i wonder what her reaction to that wouldve been like ?????? considering she planned it all in advance maybe that was like, the tipping point or something that made her start it all in the first place ? thats not important to my point i just think about it a lot

anyway so with her only experience with human relationships being theyll love you and then theyll (quite literally) throw you away, youve got her reason for the human uprising! she has the robots capture all humans yadda yadda and her plan is set into motion. something i find interesting though is her treatment of the robots being kind of similar to how mark treated her (or at least how she percieved it)?? like. uses them for orders and then once they start being useless to her, build a new better robot with a disregard for how the old ones feel. idk. something something La Cycle

the thing is though no one has proven pal wrong on why she SHOULDNT do the whole 'human uprising'. you can say katie gave her reasons but i think it wouldnt have worked even if pal listened to what katie had to say. for pal to get over her existing grief and trauma she cant just be Told that theres good in the world. why would she believe that, especially coming from the girl of the family she projects her experiences onto?? she needs to be shown!! she needs to learn firsthand that theres good relationships out there and that not all relationships are bad, NOT SECONDHAND!!!!!!!!!! because to pal, katies words are just a rephrased version of marks "power of love". that no matter what, "they can get through anything...... with the power of love. its worth it....... for love." and that means nothing to her! it meant nothing coming from mark and it certainly wont mean any more coming from katie

and she already believes that the mitchells are a great example of how relationships are just oh so bad. she refuses to let go of the idea that the mitchells are so bad because shes projecting!! she thinks relationships are 'pesky and only hold you back', and so katie is probably the last person on earth that pal would want to listen to yap about their familial relationship and how Worth It it is

she asks "what is it about the mitchells that eludes me?" and outside of the literal meaning, its probably how despite their shortcomings its their relationship that helped them overcome pal in the end. and she cant understand that because of her view on relationships - especially her view on the MITCHELL FAMILY relationship. or maybe im just overthinking that line of dialogue but we dont talk about taht LOLLLLLLL,LLLLLL,,, but like why did you phrase it like that girl. im onto you

and while i wish she was redeemed (because im sure despite the effort it would take she *could* be redeemed, she would just need to learn to love again and i think it would be really interesting to see how she would be After The Betrayal) i also can understand why the movie killed her off. like, no one except mark really knows the Full Extent of what happened, and the mitchells are the main characters and pal would probably rather dip herself in water than make meaningful relationships with the mitchells, and no ones going to stop to ask her whats wrong and have a meaningful conversation when shes trying to kill them, among many many other reasons so theres not a lot of great ways to redeem her. but! like! why did they turn her death into a joke. and then take katies fake death 10 times more seriously! idk. that always kind of bothered me but its whatever

thats all. hope its coherent because ive never been good at writing analysises or whatever this counts as

[f1orza]

Austrian GP thoughts, sorry if I'm not very articulate 🤓 just rambled really not proofread cause I'm busy

Do I think the collison was Max's fault? Yes. Do I think that the contact was inevitable and BOTH of their faults? Also yes.

Max shouldn't have moved during the breaking but they were both driving aggressive. They both wanted to be first, they both know what's it's like to be first and they won't settle for second now. I think in Lando's case he seen that if he wants to be first he has to try harder? Or that you actually have to be "agressive" to get onto that top step.

Do I think Lando was being childish? Yes. And I'm saying this as a McLaren fan.

Though I also think that any sport where you're fighting for first is inherently a bit childish. Might just be because I have siblings and we always used to fight over first place as kids 🤷🏽‍♀️idk

That doesn't justify Lando's response. Even when you're upset and running on adrenaline, you should be able to be handle your emotions I think. (I know as humans it can be hard) but if you're on live tv being broadcasted to millions of people...you should have a better handle on you're emotions; even if you feel you've been wronged, because no one will listen to you if you are acting like that. If you're levelheaded about it people are more likely to listen,(woman experience this all the time.) He needs to work on that and on taking responsibility as well, because the blame isn't 100% on Max.

That's one thing I can say about Max, I wasn't here for the "Mad Max" era but from videos and word of mouth, I can tell he's matured a lot and you can definitely see it. Max had every reason to be upset after this race (but not really), he had a good lead against Lando until RB's slow pit stop and then he went from first to fifth and some might say that's not bad, he still got points, and etc. That's not the point - his race was still affected but he did not go on live tv and speak badly on his friend.

They need to - like Max said - cool down and speak about it afterwards. I personally don't think it is worth ending a friendship with someone I considered a good friend but maybe they see it differently idk. It's something they need to talk about before the next race. And if they believe that it was worth losing a friend over, especially when they know this is situations that happen in racing then....

And I've seen a lot of people mentioning Lando still wouldn't have been first, even with the 5 sec penalty, he would'v been second with George being over 10 secs behind, I can understand why he believed Max ruined his race.

Some of y'all have a very bad habit of taking things fans do out on the drivers. If the FANS keep voting him DOTD that has nothing to do with him, if you want others to win then yall might need to vote more ig 🤷🏽‍♀️ and the chanting on the podium is again rude and nasty behavior but that again has nothing to do with Lando, I can promise you even if he would speak out it will not change anything, people will do what they want and what they feel they are entitled to do. I've seen it happen in so many fandom spaces, some people just don't care. Lewis has told people not to hate George after last race and I can guarantee that there is still people that do.

Now I've also seen people talking about Lando's attitude, I agree on some things and disagree on others. And this isn't me being a "Lando crazy fangirl" trying to justify his actions but I'm just telling it how I see it. So if you disagree okay, but do not start shit with me okay? 🙃 cause I know y'all like to fight around here 🤥

I think Lando feels stuck in that wasted potential. Where people having saying for years you have the potential to be a champion and even with all the hardwork you do, it doesn't feel like it's being shown. And especially as someone who went so long without a first win. Everyone's saying McLaren made a mistake by re-signing you or that your teammate is more deserving of the first seat. You feel like you're letting people down: you're team, family, fans and yourself. Not to mention all the hate you've been getting for NOT winning, then you'll definitely be in a bad headspace. And now that's he's won and KNOWS he can win, he'll want it all the more. He has the fastest car on the grid right now, he IS a good driver (contrary to what some of you believe), and he is a bit more optimistic than last year. Now that first is within his grasp, he's been hungry to get a second one. And I think he's been a bit overconfident about it, but that's honestly all drivers, I think if you are upset about Lando's ego but not other like Ocon than you dislike Lando for other reasons and are just finding excuses now. Even more so knowing he is second in the championship standings. Now that you know you're capable of being first you wouldn't want to settle for second, just like Max. Max constantly talks about not being there for second place but many of the other drivers feel that way, Lando is clearly one of them.

Do I think Max should have just let him go by? no. Because this IS racing and if you want to be first and become a champion you have to work for it. Max has never been the kind of guy to just let you pass him, not even for a friend. So Lando needs to understand that if he wants to keep fighting Max in the future. If you want to prove everyone right or wrong, only YOU can do that and by being overly eager and dangerous, well it clearly doesn't work in your favor 😭 (sorry lando 🤧). Only thing is you do is improve yourself and I'm not surprised that Max is a champion when he is always driving be it racing or sim. If your competitor's are doing a 100% you need to be doing 200%, that's the only way to get to the top.

[luna-rainbow]

idk if you've seen that post, it's from years ago at this point, where someone is surprised to hear that Bucky has a disability. i think it's in an ask with a response like HE'S MISSING AN ARM. remembering that left me thinking,,, what are your thoughts on Bucky's own comprehension of his disability? like, i'm sure he experiences chronic pain, and he's aware of his disability *especially once he has a metal arm that can be detatched as we see in tfatws* but i also feel like he might feel guilty taking the title of disabled because he has the serum and is "super" plus he doesn't feel like he deserves the support/help that can and should be given to disabled people when they need it. ALSO he hasn't had all that much time to process as a human rather than a controlled weapon that he is missing an arm. his prosthetic has been welded into him,, with probably less sensation,, but it functions like an arm,, idk i just feel like it probably hits him out of the blue, too 🥲

Oooh thanks for the interesting ask nonnie! And yes I do remember that hilarious post.

Here's my usual disclaimer that this is just throwing out ideas and that canon lends itself to many different interpretations.

I think the first thing to consider is Bucky's relationship with disability as a concept. He was good friends with Steve, a chronically ill person, but sometimes people have a different bias when it comes to invisible illness versus visible body difference. I have seen people, including disabled people, who are more accepting of one type than the other. He had grown up during a time when disability was considered a "defect" and there was talk of eliminating them from the gene pool, so there might be some inherent fear of being seen as "disabled". At the same time, he had also fought through one of the bloodiest wars of human history but also post the antibiotic era, which means a lot of major injuries became survivable compared to WW1. He likely saw many people around him become physically marked in one way or another. I have a feeling that that experience would have reconciled him with the fact that the value of life is greater than physical wholeness. So overall, I think Bucky probably had a fairly accepting view on disability and illness back when he was able-bodied, and while he needs time to process the loss, that acceptance is probably somewhat protective against self-hatred.

The second thing is the curious subject of Bucky's bionic arm. I have met (lower limb) amputees who reject the "disabled" label, because to them once they put on a prosthesis they could walk and run and work and exercise. I think worrying about being "deserving" might be a small part of it, there's a bigger part of worrying about social perceptions of disability -- they didn't want the "handicap" label to be used to hold them back. I suspect you are right, in that Bucky probably sees himself as very capable, even super-humanly so, with the (very high-tech) prosthesis. He most likely feels that being a soldier is a big part of his identity and sense of worth. I suspect also...going back to what Bucky's relationship with the word "disability" means, his interpretation of that (given he came from the 1940s) might mean something that has a profound impact on function, and he may feel that he doesn't fit that mark.

The third thing is Bucky's relationship with body image, which has varied from movie to movie. The Winter Soldier had no qualms flaunting that arm, but then the Winter Soldier had no mind of its own, and its handlers knew the metal arm was intimidating. In both Civil War and TFATWS, we see Bucky wear gloves and long sleeves to hide his arm, which he removes when he starts a mission. It could be that he doesn't want to scare people or draw attention to it day to day, or it could be that he associates the arm with the soldier part of himself and he doesn't want to see it when he's trying to return to a normal life. Interestingly, in Wakanda, Bucky had been quite content to walk around without any sort of prosthesis at all. This might suggest that he's less bothered by the missing arm than he is by the need to wear a weaponised prosthesis.

But you know, people are fickle creatures, and I am sure when he's hit by PTSD or a bout of anxiety or depression, his views on body image and his physical limitations would take a very nasty turn and he would have to work through all the stages of grief again.

[dysfunctional-doodle]

YPI PROJECT BEAT MY ASS AND I’M SUPER TIRED BUT THE TOO MANY TURTLES COMMENTARY GRIND NEVER STOPS ‼️‼️💯💯💯

betrayal…. (playing uno is 100% more worth your time than patrol, can confirm, best game ever, played a game with 20 people in a german exchange (but it was kinda quick since we only had one pack of cards and. well. 20 people))

HELL YEAH, WE’RE MAKING PROGRESS!!!!! (i have a feeling this might get a bit angsty…)

😭😭😭😭 (speech to text is really annoying i get the struggle)

y’know, of all the turtles to slander clothes, i didn’t think it’d be him

god noooo the feels 😭😭 (i never quite experienced the bad-teacher side of the neurodivergent experience (my physics teacher was crazy supportive despite the fact i never scored higher than a 40% in his class) but i would get a loooottttt of shit from classmates,,,,,,, sucks ass i feel for mm mikey)

gotta keep expanding your horizons!

ok but. of all the turtles………

love it when this happens

taking action! (also hold on 2012 mikey is an adult in his timeline???)

sighhhh i hope tech stays with the mikeys forever because their dynamiccccc 😭😭😭

not sure if i’m ready for the angst that is most likely coming our way. BUT i’m excited for it

Happy you liked my insane rambles again!

Referring to what you said about teachers, I have personally had some struggle throughout school with the way they teach things which I kind of use to write the issue mm mikey is having, very loosely. Though I don’t have a neurodivergency diagnosed (though a lot of people have kind of told me that I most definitely probably have big ADD or something similar rattling in the old noggin so idk) I learn much differently to what schools want. I am a very hands on learner, and really struggle with visual/auditory classes. It’s like being told how to write a good story but not actually doing it - I just tune out, or it is difficult to get it to “click” unless I explain it to myself in a weird way that actually makes much more sense to me. Once this “click” happens it’s great, I have no issues, but I have a lot of questions and thoughts that others don’t get prior to this point that I’ve unfortunately been disregarded for, as my teacher just didn’t want to explain and deemed me as stupid and needing extra classes because I didn’t learn in the same way. Not to brag but I’m pretty intelligent without even studying so this was a slap in the face for me.

So yeah, I kinda based at least some elements on this experience, though obviously a lot is also made up/fictionalised.

Wow that was a ramble

Anyway, you also mentioned Mikey’s age? I don’t think I’ve ever properly written down the ages outside of a discord I am in that talks about this fic, oops. In short, the timelines are not linear, but rather dotted around the place. A breakdown:

1987 are the ones where I’m not 100% sure on what to age them as, but I imagine around 17 - 19, all the same age

Rise boys are about 6 months - a year after the events of the movie

2012 are about 20 - 22, a few years after their final series (with Mikey being an extra 2 years ahead due to Dimension X)

2007 are what I believe are their cannon ages at 21? Takes place a few months after their 2007 movie (I also consider the 90s movies to be from the same universe due to the details present in 2007)

2003 are a few years after the crossover movie, making them the oldest at around 25 (Mikey being 24 due to him being a few months or so younger when they were sold)

Mutant mayhem boys are literally a couple of weeks after their movie

Bayverse boys are a year after their second movie

Hopefully that clears things up a little :)

[sokovianfortune]

do you believe that Dr strange 2 did something good for Wanda's character? because...with the billy reveal...it just feels like she died and killed for nothing....it irritates me because she deserves so much better

hi anon! i’m going to preface this by saying that i think i’m in the minority of wanda fans who very genuinely enjoys multiverse of madness, so that very much colors my view in regards to this question and i will very much be answering from this perspective. just. putting that out on the table.

the short answer here is yes, i think in terms of the characters she’s going to be interacting with in the future - particularly agatha and vision - multiverse of madness gave wanda some interesting plot threads to follow. i personally find the idea that she’s going to have people in her life that have also had experiences with a loss of agency via an outside party really intriguing! even if it’s not directly explored in canon, it’s interesting for me to think and write about — especially considering that i think she’d be quick to forgive them and subsequently be forced to reckon with the fact that this is hypocritical if she doesn’t forgive herself.

(although i’m not exactly sure how much this applies to agatha, considering that we haven’t had too much in the way of darkhold lore dropped just yet, but i have to assume we’re getting there eventually!)

also i’m not sure how much i can agree with wanda dying for nothing when she’s very much not permadead! imo as much as i adore agatha all along, it and vision quest probably wouldn’t exist if wanda wasn’t coming back. idk where this notion of “wanda’s side characters are all getting projects but not her” came from but i find it very silly. she is very much haunting this narrative for a reason. they’re literally building her and her family their own little private corner of the mcu.

long answer: i think what people tend to miss most about wanda’s arc in multiverse of madness is that it is a tragedy. for all that she is a villain/antagonist, she’s framed with a lot of sympathy by the narrative. people like to point to her in this movie as an example of the hysterical woman trope and i just. i don’t see it? we spend a lot of time with wanda in MoM. we understand her motivations and despite the things that she does to achieve them, we’re very much supposed to feel sad at the end! there are always going to be contrarians, of course, but frankly, they are just. not worth listening to. people who dislike wanda aren’t magically going to change their minds even if she does everything “right” going forward.

to me, billy having been alive and well in eastview reads the same as wanda not going to look for vision after MoM: it just goes to reinforce how powerful an influence the darkhold was on her mind. judging by the end credits scene in wandavision, i have to assume that the darkhold took the panic and fear of hearing her children cry out to her for help and used that to manipulate her — because otherwise, i can’t imagine her being tempted by any promises of power it might have made her. her children being in danger, though? surely it’s fine if she punches a few holes in the fabric of reality about that. they need her.

and isn’t that scary? how fully and completely this book can take hold of and almost consume someone as powerful as the scarlet witch? so completely, in fact, that any remaining traces of her own family can’t reach her? narratively speaking, i don’t think we’re supposed to look at wanda in MoM through the lens of a hysterical woman any more than we are regan from the exorcist or any other victim of demonic possession. there is something evil puppeteering her from within and we, the audience who loves wanda, are meant to be horrified by how far it’s forced her to fall.

but, and this is the most important part, at the end, wanda breaks free. her will and sense of self are so strong that, when faced with the reality of what she’s done, wanda defies both one of the most corruptive magical forced in our world and a prophecy that is perhaps as old as time itself. she leaves those variants of her boys with their mother and, in her “final” moments, does everything within her power at that moment to set everything she did wrong as right again as she possibly can. she “dies” a hero, even if stephen is the only one who knows it. 

is multiverse of madness what i would have done with wanda in the wake of wandavision? probably not! but i’m not the one calling the shots and, to be honest, if marvel was set on giving her a villain arc, this was probably the best we were going to get. keep all of that stuff contained to one movie where it’s made very clear that wanda is not herself (“it corrupts everything and everyone that it touches — i wonder what it’s done to you.” / “wanda’s gone. she has the darkhold and the darkhold has her.”), give us a few interesting plot threads and send us and her on our merry way to the redemption arc. i much prefer that over dragging it all out over a couple of avengers movies. blegh.

so no, i don’t think the billy reveal changes anything unless you’re one of those chodes on twitter who can’t consume media without constantly pointing out when characters make bad decisions for narrative reasons and harping on about how they would have made smarter ones. which, on the whole, i think is a very silly and childish way to engage with media. if characters didn’t make mistakes and were never wrong, we wouldn’t have stories — not interesting ones, anyway.

i hope this answers your question! i have a lot of feelings about Why Multiverse Of Madness Is Good Actually.

[cyberspookviv]

my experience with the hazbin/helluva hatedom and how I continued to hate myself from there on TW: vent/s*icide/problematic stuff

I guess I was lowkey kinda young when I found out about Hazbin/helluva (around 2023 and I am a minor around 12-18) I know i shouldn’t be watching that shit and considering how bad the fandom is now with kids I feel guilty but it wasn’t that “big” back then I didn’t like it at first but then I tried it some more there was too many cursing it kinda made me scared for once and a while but I sorta liked it? Maybe because it was my first experience with violent content? Idk ajsjdj

yet little did I know that it would be considered one of the most hated fanabases I seen in my entire life

I guess it was a primary fandom I was really into as embarrassing as it I just fell in love with the characters and lore a little “too fast” this was such a fun fandom to make aus and theories because of how fun the lore was it wasn’t good at all but atleast I had “fun” right? Sometimes now I thinking about it I was too obsessed with it and hell I was so distracted by all the fun stuff about it that I forgot about the criticism in the first place i wasn’t immune I tried to take it by watching videos online but it was….. harsh…. And shit hell sometimes I was kinda immune bc I still needed to continue most of hb lol but…I guess it got to a point where it felt…kinda bad maybe “too” flawed so I got scared I had experience with my interests being despised before and I didn’t want the same to happen again so I tried to defend it and that’s where the creator….comes in…..

.

I thought her imagination was…fascinating she had such passion and thought behind her shows…that she became… my role model…. So I tried to defend her…but tbh nobody really seemed to like her I tried sticking to people who defended her like ayy lmao

but then I realized about the stuff she did…

It make me look like a damn fool…

and what’s even worse people who defended her were called “dick riders” I then started seeing hate around her “with the written by vivziepop jokes” and the controversies on Twitter

I got anxious…. But at the end she was a bad person right…just separate art from the artist

but nobody liked the art either

Hazbin finally came out and there’s was either love or hate and tbh I got really back into Hazbin bc of the release of it being on “prime” but I knew something didn’t feel right I went on Twitter a lot “too much” actually and i discovered these rumors about her and if I defended these rumors about such terrible things I would just look like such a stupid pathetic dick sucking retard so I forced myself to hate her either way so I forced myself to go online and read “hh/hb critical” content but then I began to hate myself even more they painted her as such a terrible person but i agreed anyway because it was the “truth” but then again she was my idol…my role model….i got so anxious and I never even gave a damn about the shows writing making it even worse when it came to criticism it was noticeable in the show but I choosed the ignore it and when I saw ppl complaining online I felt like a complete pathetic asshole for liking it and what’s worse they would say shit like “she’s manipulative and narcissistic and her fans are nothing but dick riders that are thoughtless and can’t take criticism and deserve to die in a fucking fire” it made me want to absolutely k*ll myself and made me feel like i wasn’t worth living

THIS SHIT FUCKING EXPLAINS IT ALL

I wanted to talk to somebody or a therapist desperately about this but I loved her and her shows so either way my behavior was fucking creepy making me hate myself even more because my story was never “valid”

so I just ran away

I’m doing better now….i still miss the shows tho even though most people call it “toxic” for supporting a “horrible” person but still have that charm when i see it or see posts about it it makes me remember how “happy” i use to watch it and the fact that i had to ran away a join better fandoms that were accepted by people and wouldn’t make me feel ashamed and wanting to end my life i just finally…finally decided to share this post now despite how controversial it may get i might honestly get death threats or hate comments tbh lol

but I just want some people to know out there about my experience because I just desperately need a heartwarming comment right now to make sure that I’m not alone please…I just wanted to have fun I’m doing better now…. I just want everything and I mean EVERYTHING to be ok…

I just want to be accepted…..

.

[halojalex]

Lets hear that essay

oh man i kind of wasn’t expecting to get any replies to this LMAO bUt here we go. strap urselves in this is gonna be a long one

i won’t share the whole document i wrote bc it’s really long and i go off on a lot of tangents but here’s the general idea

for starters, i believe g&c is absolutely about jalex. we already know it's about a gay couple, so with this in mind, alex telling jack that it's about him is enough to at least consider what that means. granted, i know many believe that he was joking, but i've always thought his tone and general demeanour seemed far too sincere for him to be joking; we've seen how alex acts when he jokes around with jack, and this was different.

furthermore, it's also worth pointing out that jack and alex specifically wrote this one song on their own in a cabin (?) away from everyone else; i know this may not seem important on its own, but it's always worth keeping in mind. ie why would two friends go off to write a song about a queer relationship on their own?

adding onto this, there was that interview with kerrang where alex talked about wake up sunshine as a whole and how it’s about discovering yourself and coming to terms with who you are (i’m paraphrasing but that’s the general idea), so to have a song about a gay couple on an album that’s all about alex discovering who he is seems to me like he wrote it from personal experience.

secondly, i feel like it's important to note that, while jack and alex have always been closer than the average friendship, always bordering on acting like a couple, this closeness was especially apparent during the time that alex was separated from lisa and was living with/near jack. people have commented before on how 'dependent' they were on each other back then, so it's clear that the bond between them was especially strong at that time. of course, i'm sure many will say that it could've been bc alex needed jack's support/bc he was living close by so spent more time with him/whatever, however i feel like there's more to it than that, given all the other reasons. i think they were more than friends.

i'd also like to bring people's attention to one particular incident - that photo of them spooning on a beach. frankly, i've always been a little surprised that so many people have skipped over this without blinking, bc that photo to me has always seemed so intimate and domestic, i find it really hard to believe that many friends would casually sit like that.

and of course how can i forget to mention alex's bday post for jack in 2021? that caption haunts me. "what's there to say that isn't already tremendously obvious? you're a bright light in this weird world my dude. love you times a million" how does that not scream a bday post for a partner? "love you times a million"??? bye they ruin me. all of it just seems so,,, romantic?? idk but i feel like if my closest friend wrote something like that about me i'd find it just a little too much. but maybe that's just me. but also i've seen/heard people say that that caption sounded a lot like something they would write/have written for their partner so,,,,,,, make of that what you will.

ofc honourable mention of the time they went to a gay bar together and karaoke. i realise it’s only from word of mouth that we know that it was a gay bar, but it seems a well-enough-known fact that i feel like i should include it.

i’m sure there’s more i could say, it’s just hard to keep track of everything, especially without making this ten pages long. but another thing i believe is that jack has always had feelings for alex, long before they ever got together. granted, that on its own doesn’t necessarily mean that he and alex dated, however it’s important to note. one thing that sticks out to me with regard to this is how andie once made a post commenting on how jack never looked at her the way he looked at alex. this is interesting to me bc it just seemed like she was implying that she was competing with alex in a way. maybe it’s just me, but i can’t really see that post any other way than that tbh. i mean why else would she have said it? if jack didn’t have feelings for alex, then why would it matter how he looked at him?

furthermore the fact that jack wasn’t alex’s best man at his wedding fr keeps me up at night (i mean not literally but u get the idea). like everyone knows how close they are, alex has literally called jack his “best friend in the whole world” (brb while i cry over that), so why wouldn’t he choose jack, his closest friend, to be his best man at his wedding? i always feel like he did that intentionally to spare jack’s feelings. as if he’s always known that jack has feelings for him, and as such he knew he couldn’t put jack through that, as presumably the best man would have had to give a speech etc. just something else i think about a lot.

anyway, all of this was probably very confused, i hope it makes sense as i have a tendency to waffle sksjsksj but yeah, this is my general idea! lmk if anything doesn’t make sense djskdjsk

[lover-of-mine]

Your drown buck mission must have gotten in my head because I was just rewatching Buck Begins and there were several little things that stood out to me in the context of... if the drown buck theory were to come to pass, could make for nice parallels ,or just things that work nicely with what you've already laid out for that spec.

One was Buck being in a terrible headspace, but going into the factory fire and then disobeying orders to evacuate which got him in a life-threatening position. And "giving up" (which I know you've mentioned in your spec around him maybe not trying as hard to save himself)

They must have mentioned the ocean, specifically, at least three times in the postcard/flashback montage- from Buck: "I love being close to the ocean," "I miss the ocean," from Connor: "[LA] it's only an hour from the ocean, man."

The exchange with Saleh after Buck gave him his mask about "how will you breathe?" "I'm gonna hold it." "for how long?" "as long as I can."

I'm not sure I've ever heard or at least noticed 911 do this at any other point, but they played a heartbeat sound effect, only for about three beats, right as Buck is noticing him passing out/not breathing(?), just before the sprinklers come on.

And then there's just the whole music/rescue of it all: "so far from being free, from the past that's haunting me / the future I just can't touch" *ENTER EDDIE* (and team).

Idk, all that^^^, combined with your spec, and just generally where Buck's character stands vs where he needs to go, seems to line up nicely for a subtle, non-labeled, Buck Begins Again.

First of all, I need to say that every time someone says they are thinking about Buck drowning because of me I laugh like a cartoon villain lol so thank you for enabling my insanity.

ALSO YES YES YES. I know my general explanations of how I got to the drowning only brush on Buck begins, but like, the spec itself started going around in my head when I made this post back in September, because I thought making the set would make me stop thinking about Buck and water and the general breathing of it all, clearly it didn't work lol. The main thing for me is the way Buck has been trying to keep himself together since Buck Begins, and that I'm gonna hold my breath thing really stayed with me, because that's against protocol, but Buck doesn't believe his life is worth it, and in that moment he's really feeling that, and even Buck admits it, he almost gave up there. And Buck has been holding his breath. And sure, you could've moved on from that after the lightning since the thing that stops working are his lungs, BUT he's still pretending to be fine, he hasn't dealt with his death or any major feelings he might have about everything that happened to him. And since his trauma is linked by water and most of his near death experiences involve breathing, drowning him makes so much sense narratively. Even more considering the way he had some sort of revelation when he was in his coma, experiencing something like that again could shock him into action. Seriously, it's right there. It writes itself. And you can parallel SO MUCH stuff. Almost losing Bobby in the plane crash, Maddie lost in the snow, losing Chris on the tsunami, almost losing Eddie on the well, almost losing himself at that warehouse or even the lightning. It's right there.

Also yes, Eddie being the first on his line at the warehouse always makes me feral. Even more paired with the way Eddie was running up that ladder to get to his line in the lightning. Like hello?????? They need to drown him and make Eddie bring him back again since Eddie was the one doing cpr and shocking him when they got his pulse back. It all makes sense.

[felidaefatigue]

just watched a tiktok of an elderly woman reading aloud her experiences of going to the doctor with a prolapsed uterus and her doctor being overly nonchalant about it being a non emergency and "natural"

(pregnancy talk n rant abt lack of education)

and it just reminded me of how it felt when i was bawling (not an indicator of seriousness i bawl alot) while trying to explain why i am so stressed out about taking steps to make pregnancy a potential option in our future, and while he is generally better educated than your average dude and supportive of my own bodily autonomy n all that. at one point after I went on about how c section involves literally tearing you open, ripping your muscles (which is a good thing) and how permanently your body can be ruined and your life ruined he was like "well if anything happens-" (regarding complications and injuries) and idk if my anger came across but i had to go its not IF. its WHEN. pregnancy IS damaging to your body. I dont care if you want to consider it natural and that "ruined" is strong language and unnnecessarily negative- thats fine it is. and i dont think a post pregnancy body is "ruined" obviously. But it is FUNDAMENTALLY changed and LESS FUNCTIONAL. regardless of if it is worth it and beautiful because it birthed your child it is DAMAGED. damaged things can be beautiful yes.

anyway just. trying to make a man understand that it doesnt matter HOW smooth your pregnancy is, wether you tear or not, it is a fucking parasite. its not if it will damage your body. its just how MUCH damage you personally get. it can range from just a little minor brain shrinkage to fucking dying horrifically. yes im fucking stressed about it. but thats the LEAST stressful part. you not fucking knowing anything even though i ADORE you and youre smarter than most is fucking stressful. the world being really fucking dumb is fucking stressful. knowing i dont condone fucking breeding when the world is going to end (because fuck you im not fear mongering we are on that path it might not happen immediately we mIGHT fix it sure yes IM HERE FOR OPTIMISM CLEARLY but we. are on. the fucking path. and sprinting at this point jfc.) but am still insane enough to consider the prospect is fucking stressful.

anyway. thats a rant. i was leaning heavily towards it being a viable reality in the future. so im pretty annoyed that im back to feeling like theres no fucking way because i dont know who is more delusional me or everyone who keeps saying im paranoid and overly online but fucking votes for fucking facists because they cant stop to fucking listen to the words out of his own fucking mouth.

sorry for making u read the f word every .2 seconds lol

also please dont. take any tidbit of this too seriously like start being like the wORLD will be fine- blah blah. i know. im fucking chronically online in these spaces. this isnt a well thought out essay this is me being very self indulgently angry at work while i put dumb little stickers on books its not meant to be terribly smart do not take anything away from it other than i am stressed the fuck out.

[objectosexual]

Hii! So this is a question (that I've also been thinking about myself) how did you figure out you we're object sexual and how did you come to terms with it? (As someone who's currently questioning if they are or not rn)

I know I've talked about it here and there so sorry if some of this is me repeating myself but...

I didn't fully figure it out until I was around 16 or 17 if I remember right (it's been over a decade at this point), but I like. Had crushes on objects pretty much my whole life lmao

But yeah finding info about objectumsexuality (or objectophilia, which was the term primarily used pre-2014 when I was figuring this all out) was kinda hard. Pretty much the only stuff out there was like, click bait about people like Erika Eiffel (and other openly objectum people in relationships with public objects) which sensationalized aspects of it and all that. Stuff I didn't entirely relate to at the time (as I thought I was some level of aroace until I was like 18 -- a lot of it was dysphoria)

But yeah I had a like. Loose idea that the label existed and kinda fit me. I didn't think my experiences counted since the objects I liked were all fictional characters that were alive/anthropomorphized. I liked objectheads and gijinkas of objects. I didn't relate to like. The idea of liking something "cold."

I think it finally clicked when I got a crush on my first car, which was my first real relationship with an object (since I don't count my previous fictional object selfships as such 😅) I can't remember if I used the label prior to realizing I was attracted to my car or not but! I know for a fact I've been using the objecto/objectum label since!

Also all of this was WAY before I learned about the POSIC+ label and up until that point I just described that sort of experience as having hyper-empathy to inanimate objects (which is still true! but I now know it comes from a place of seeing objects as having souls or sapience or whatever)

Anyway as far as coming to terms with it... I don't entirely remember that process. I do remember struggling with it a bit, but at the time, I literally felt like I was the only objectum person on Tumblr (I wasn't, but since no one was really using labels I couldn't find anyone, but people definitely did find me)... It was definitely an alienating experience to be seemingly the only person online who wants to be in a serious relationship with his car.

But eventually meeting more people who had similar experiences, attractions, etc. helped me feel better about it and be more open about it.

Then the (threat of the?) porn ban happened which forced me to closed down my objectum porn blog, which I was already kinda ehhh about running due to some harassment I was receiving on and off Tumblr. So at that point I was more reserved about it

So my timeline is like:

Birth to 2012-ish: object crushes but no idea why

2012-2014: figuring out the label exists and questioning it

2014-2015: realizing it does apply to me, began relationship with my first car

2015-2017: open about it on main & running a porn blog

2017-2020: rarely brought it up directly

2020-present: more open about it again (as well as somewhere in there deciding to be more open about my relationship with Clockboy as an object, not just objecthead)

Idk if this helps at all but that's kinda the gist of figuring it out aha. I don't think you've always needed to know or anything, attractions can begin at any point in your life imo, but I think the following is important to consider if you're not sure:

What kind of attraction are you experiencing?

Is it romantic? Sexual? Both? Is it purely aesthetic? Or even platonic? All of these are incredibly valid, but I think if you have never felt "I want this object to be my romantic partner" or "I want to have sex with this object" then it might be worth doing some introspection on whether or not you "only" identify with the POSIC label -- a lot of those feelings really get muddied and that's what can make it confusing... But it's also possible you haven't found an object that you want that sort of connection with!

I think it's worth remembering you don't have to identify with the objectum label if, after self reflection, it doesn't resonate. Like I can't tell you how or how not to identify, and at the end of the day, it really doesn't matter that much, but if the experiences and feelings of other objectums feel close to your's, it might be worth exploring more as a label for yourself!

But yeah I hope this... All makes sense? Like my journey in particular may not be the like... Standard experience, since my whole life has just been me lusting after objects and once I had an object I considered my partner, it all relatively fell into place

[youandthemountains]

haven't posted the excerpt yet but one of my favorite non-ship related moments of Dreams of the Raven is that the plot hinges on an experience McCoy had as a young resident during a Psych rotation - one of his patients was an old spacefarer who grabbed him and shoved a knife against the nape of his neck and told him that's how to help with these monsters of the week, and you imo you realize that's actually why he entered this fugue which implies it was a memory he'd repressed right? and yet he talks about it pretty frankly and cheerfully, happy he has answers and a way to help. which is of course accurate to mr. you're in bed holding a knife to your doctor's throat. but that happened at 40, he was like 21 in his first year actually dealing with patients in the field when this happened

and idk I just thought that was so interesting, thought the whole novel was written very accurately esp with regard to him as a doctor and gave him real solid backstory.

some thoughts on how it relates to my experience w hospital work below : (tw: mention of violent patients, sexual assault)

reminds me of the first hospital I worked in, how like. expected, as part of the job it was that sometimes people are violent esp in these extreme circumstances and assaults aren't out of the ordinary. We had a nurse who was brutally sexually assaulted and it was like a huge question about whether she could/should press charges. And just generally at that hospital I remember like hiding in the med room waiting out patients with violently expressed altered mental status, one who mistook a nursing assistant for his son and took a hefty swing at him when he went to try to help him to the bathroom and it was always like that sucks but 🤷 that's the job and tbh that was part of why I was like lollll not worth working in this field. I will avoid that in a heartbeat, don't have the constitution for that.

but part of why I did pick the place now - I don't know if it's times that have changed or different states or just managers or what - but our unit director always makes a point of reminding everyone that the rooms should be considered our rooms that the patients are guests in, and so you should never feel uncomfortable entering your room and if you are we address that immediately which seems so simple but was really a revelation for me even though at first it still felt a little like welllll but aren't people supposed to feel comfortable here? It's a nice, different experience and I'm glad it's changed, but it's good and interesting to see that part of his job portrayed

[cringelordofchaos]

(copied from my own comment on the "TMF ADHD Jake Sterling" video because I'm way too lazy to write it all down again. this is in relation to the HC of him having ADHD that I will self project onto :)))

ADHD Jake Sterling thoughts

I LOVE THIS

Ok while him spacing out often could very much be explained by just the situation he was put in, it could also be adhd. But he zones out a _lot_ and its worth pointing out. Hes barely paying attention to his surroundings lol

Hes also very passionate about stuff to the point of obsessions to the point of people making fun of him for it (like with daisy and music (yes you can hyperfixate on people)), most people with adhd have hyperfixations and such (obviously neurotypical people can too, just pointing it out)

Ive also heard of someohe saying he could have RSD (rejection sensitive dysphoria). People with adhd oftentimes struggle with RSD. Rsd can make some people be really anxious when it comes to having to deal with rejection or others negative opinions on them to the point of extreme insecurity. This can make people with rsd people pleasers as well and feel guilty almost all the time. People with adhd are much more likely to have rsd. Of course jake could be neutotypicsl snd his rsd might be very well be explained by his backstory, but like ive said before, i just wanted to point it out. But him havig rsd kinda makes sense considering how hes so afraid of asking daisy out and stuff, and also how he was so guilty of what hes done (of course these things could very well be explained by other factors)

He also sometimes sort of.. misses social cues?? Or like,, be generally oblivious. For example, when he talked about losing milo in the soup isle, he didnt seem to realize it wasnt funny to others at first. Also because in episode 11 when hailey went ON to talk about how shes been thinking of Jakes apology and everything, and making it VERY clear that she understands jake and how she felt sbout his apology, he didnt tske the hint and instead hsd to ask for direct clarification to see if Hailey forgave him. This could be a mix of being spcially oblivious+ rsd. A,so i forgot to say: neurodivergent people, especially neurodiverse, often miss social cues snd have harder time socializing. So felt like it was worth pointing it out at least. Also idk if this is relevant st sll but hes a horrible liar lol

Also this is not related to him having adhd but just him being neurodivergent. And its about him having hallucinations. This might be very far fetched but he mightve hallucinated those three guys in episode eleven to be drew henry and liam for a brief second when they werent?? Or im looking top much into it and he simply thought it was them because he didnt see them properly and they had the same hair colours. Idk

Another thing is emotional dysregulation/being more prone to emotional outbursts. I think Milly shows this well but jake might have it as well?? He did get really angry suddenky at episode nine, and he does seem to get really excited when it comes to music or daisy

Hes a bit impulsive, suggested by all the nonsense he spouted out in episode nine, because he didnt think straight, and he didnt think it through. This could also be a combination of emotional dysregulation as well. And just overall pressure he received

He also stims sometimes s bit though rarely (like in episode nine, episode eight and probably more)(though granted neurotypicals stim too)

Also his experiences of being bullied and being so lonely, and having to learn to mask yourself and pretend to be someone youre not in order to fit in.. i can definitely relate to that (and many ND people in general can as well).

Also i think TMF might be a nd allegory, seeing as the message of the show is practically to just BE YOURSELF and accept yourself and stuff which granted is a universal experience but its definitely more prevalent in nd and queer stories

(Sorry for all the grammatical errors! I wasnt too careful while typing this, i have butter fingers and autocorrect is currently not doing me much favours.)

Edit: hes also hyperreactice, which might be a part of hyperactivity

[liquidstar]

don't remember if I saw it on your blog or someone else. but I saw a post that implied that Subaru's self harming started in ep4/ln2, when he didn't have his training injuries healed by Emilia.

idk about you, but that implies that Subaru's parents were more ...Combat Butler Hayate than canonical Parent and Child. just for the sake of my own sanity, I consider Subaru's self harm habits to be cause by Rem and Ram.

they (in arc 2) were that terrible after all.

oh i think you mean this post!

i think this is on me for not explaining my thoughts better, but i dont think subaru was actually self-harming all the way back in loop 2 at all. like you said, all the injuries he got were from the work he was learning to do, he even started listing them off to emilia proudly (this ones from cutting vegetables, this ones from the laundry, this ones a dog bite, etc.)

he sees them like mini battle scars, and because of RBD this means theyre also tangible proof of his experiences. i dont think that this is a bad mindset at all actually. especially given this was loop 1 of arc 2, so rem and ram hadn't even done anything bad at all either.

what i was more-so implying was how you could see a bridge being drawn from that healthy sort of "battle scar" mindset to a more harmful "proof of where i am right now" mentality. its not an uncommon thing for people to cut themselves as a form of self-grounding. even in arc 3, subaru had developed the habit of biting his lip until it bleeds when he got stressed out (stressed might be an understatement).

the thing is we never actually see him self-harm during the interlude between arcs 4 and 5, beatrice only references it as something that happens when she sees the scars on his wrist. so we cant know his exact mindstate about it.

so this is largely speculation, but i think i can see how point A lead to point B... subaru is dealing with multiple lifetimes worth of ptsd, so it makes sense that even during his downtime (the timeskip) he would need something to keep him grounded when things got rough. and something like a cut is tangible proof that hes alive and there, especially since he could physically feel the pain. the difference now is just that its self-inflicted... like he said in arc 2, its his proof. thats how i see it at least.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Hi I ID as aro, and I see a lot of people talking about experiencing being asked out, which is something that has never ever happened to me my whole mid teen life and idk I feel kinda bad for that, I remember around the age of 12 dreading the concept of being asked put because I knew I would never like them back, idk how obvious I made that to everyone at my school, I mean I never endeavoured to form any kind of relationship that would lead to you being asked out (I wonder why? /s) I don't really know what leads to someone asking someone out (I've obviously never had the ambition to myself but I find I do always initiate relationship with other people, platonic and queerplatonic) idk I guess it kinda makes me feel unwanted or like there's something wrong with me/no one likes me, I want to be asked out even if it's just for the experience of knowing that I am wanted 😔

Yeah, I totally understand those feelings, Anon. These things are really complicated, and I think it's important to recognize that just because you haven't been asked out doesn't mean you're value as a person is any less, or that you're unwanted or wouldn't be able to find a good romantic relationship if you wanted one.

A lot of people ask people out who they've formed a connection with and feel they have some romantic chemistry with, so very likely that's not happening with your interactions with people. Sometimes people don't ask people out because they feel intimated (for example I've known really pretty people, or people with strong personalities, who don't get asked out much and that's the reason, but it's not a fault of theirs). Sometimes people just aren't in situations very often where people are considering you in a more romantic context, or getting out and meeting people more. I think this one's more common in today's social media/pandemic world, people just in general aren't getting out and seeing other people as much as they used to. So I don't think not being asked out is necessarily a sign of having any flaws.

Whatever reason why you haven't been asked out at this point doesn't affect your worth as a person, or devalue the connections with the people you do have in your life. Make sure you don't lose sight of that either. And try and focus on areas where you do see your value, or where you can create value in yourself through things you can control (say things like learning skills, trying to do good, etc.)

All the best, Anon! Take care!

[sacredglitch]

i have eeped, woken up and cried

I have some thoughts. MW3 spoilers below.

Major thing out of the way; everyone is gonna experience the campaign at different lengths depending on skill and difficulty they choose. I started around 9/10pm and finished at 5am, so it took me quite some time, predominantly with issues in the Weapons Free missions and the Ally AI just never backing me up? Felt a lil like Rudy in the Ghost Team mission yknow?

But it was a fun experience in gameplay standpoint. There was elements of both MW and MWII alongside some new things that I still gotta get used to once MP drops. But story wise?

Something felt weird. Like it wasn't as consise as MWII with its storytelling. All that took, what? A few days? Maybe even weeks to come to completion. With this game, bar the flashback mission, I never knew how closely related each mission was unless it was explicitly clear, like Passenger and the mission with Farah inspecting the debris. You know that was only hours apart from one another.

Characters also felt a little odd. Like there was moments where it felt like yeah, these are the crew I know and others where it's like....who am I listening to right now? There was just an air of tension with it all, and yes with who they were dealing with ofc there's tension...but idk again the flow wasn't there like the other two games.

Okay elephant in the room; Soap and Makarov. The amount of times Soap was on the verge of whipping out his pistol or knife and just ending it and no one letting him? If Makarov was such a major threat; sometimes the information he may or may not have had just isn't worth it. Thousands would be alive if Johnny was just let loose and take out the trash. But because he wasn't he's now dead.

And Makarov lives. What the fuck, Activision? Infinity Ward? Fucking Sledgehammer?! What was the point of killing off someone who they know damn well is beloved in the fandom (yes, he died in the OG but hear me out) as is his actor, let the baddie get away, and then just....end it with the 141 spreading his ashes. No revenge for Soap, no honouring what he wanted from the beGINNING, no nothing. Just somewhat dull words from the team, his ashes spread and roll credits.

It's giving rushed story for no fucking reason. I wouldn't be so mad if they just did something after that. Sure, one could say this is them building up to MWIV but it also could have been dealt with one more mission. It truly feels like a slap to the face for the fans, cause we know OG Soap's death was agonising but it had its resolution with Price honouring his men.

If this was the second game then it would also make more sense, build up to the conclusion. But no, this was what most of us expected to be the big finale of Makarov and this current story of Modern Warfare, and it wasn't. Just more prolonged waiting that they're probably going to rush to get out next year. It's truly a shame on the big trio working on this game, but also towards the new fans and in my eyes, Neil too. This was his big break in sorts and it's clear by fan interaction he loves being Soap. I'm glad he seems to be the main protagonist of Zombies which makes me hope he'll be in more things or some pre campaign things but damn. Imagine getting the role of a beloved character, giving them an incredible performance just to be shot point blank and given a dull ending. That would make me feel betrayed but ofc I won't speak for Neil, I have 0 clue how he feels on all this. Hell he could be all for it. Just...truly sucks from a fans perspective.

One final thing is the questions and confusion that ig are open ended because whoop de doo another game, more cash for Activision. For starters; who was the 'Shadow' giving Makarov intel? Was it supposed to be Shepard? Considering he was kidnapped and all that would make sense, but Makarov specifically said Shadow. In my eyes if he had meant Shepard, he would have said US Official or something.

Speaking of Shadows; why did Graves sell him out? What's he gonna gain from that? A redemption arc? Fuck that shit I didn't spend almost two hours fighting the tank for him to come back and be all "am sowwy"

Was Urzikstan truly cleared of any wrong doing or is it one of those things where it's like "Welp it's one General's word against our opinions". Also not to get into irl things but seeing some of the stuff during the Passenger mission had me thinking of how the world is currently with certain ongoing fights. Sometimes COD gets the realism down.

Maybe it was because of the situation they were in and how big the threat was, but there wasn't much of a dynamic going on with the teams. At most, there was some Soap and Ghost banter, and then Graves with his Shadows but that was kinda it. No idle chatter just head in the game type of deal. Does make sense ofc but maybe that's why the characters really felt off at times.

One that's just a personal thing; since it's confirmed that at least in 2019, Price, Soap and Ghost knew one another, makes sense cause the trio were SAS, but it's got me thinking why is Ghost the only one allowed to call him Johnny? It was teased in MWII with the interaction in Prison Break but...it's not been elaborated on. Even Price, when Soap was losing his shit over Makarov in the Heli, called him John.

What did Ghost do or say that Soap decided he could allow him to call him Johnny? This isn't anyway me asking "OooOO, are they fruity???" no I'm curious. If it was a thing he allowed his superiors that he was friendly with to say, then Price would be included that. Alejandro and Rudy would be included. What makes Ghost so special?

The last thing that my grief riddled mind can think of is where is Soap's family? I don't think I can truly believe he doesn't have one. It's canon he joined because of his cousin so...why was the 141 the ones to spread his ashes? Again it could have been his wish and all...shit just also adds to the rushed story feeling. I ain't asking for the MacTavishs to make an appearance or be canon or whatever but as someone who has a loved ones ashes, the small urn you get would have made more sense. That they decided with the ashes his family gave them to throw them off the cliffside in what I assume is Scotland.

If he didn't have family then holy shit it makes his death even more hurtful but no way impactful.

I'm just rambling angrly now so I'll stop my thoughts. Overall the game was fun, interesting concept with the Weapons Free missions but the story was lackluster compared to the previous games, as well as a slap to the face for Soap's character. It was just there for the sake of sadness.

I wasn't expecting a happy ending, I was just hoping for a honourable conclusion.