#idk why this is them but it feels like them. like. proverbially

[huntershowl-moving]

@vsagis

*holding onto ur heart thru ur ribcage* so what are we

[ironunderstands]

These Aventurine, Topaz and Jade comparisons are getting out of hand…

As much as I adore both of them, I think it’s very disingenuous to compare Aventurine and Topaz’s lore and be like “but they are the same!!!! If people like Aventurine and dislike Topaz that’s just misogyny!!! and like… no?

Topaz’s whole thing is that she doesn’t know the extent of the IPC’s evil, and believes that what she’s doing is genuinely the right thing to do. Even if she never had a choice in joining the IPC, she (incorrectly) believes what they did to her and her planet is justified, logical and moral, and for those reasons she stands with them. Part of this is likely IPC brainwashing, as she was probably very young when she became an indentured servant to them, and someone living on a planet on the brink of destruction would likely view anyone who stepped up to save them as heroes (imo the IPC likely waited for the point of no return to establish contact so her people had no other choice to except).

However Topaz got best end of the proverbial stick, her planet and its people were deemed useful by the IPC, and didn’t fight back, even if in the end they were still exploited.

Unfortunately, we have seen through Boothill, Belabog and Aventurine what happens when that isn’t the case.

Boothill’s planet got bombed and people genocided because they had a resource useful to the IPC, but were unwilling to cooperate with them or hand over their home, so the IPC decided to eradicate them.

Belabog had a debt owed to the IPC that was ridiculously high and very unfair to expect them to pay back, and had Topaz not convinced the higher ups to give them some time (which she got demoted for), the IPC would have taken Belabog by force

That leaves us with Aventurine, whose story is in no way on the same level of bad as Topaz’s. Unlike her, he has witnessed and experienced firsthand the truly awful shit the IPC can do.

They took custody of Sigonia and promised to offer the Avgin aid in their fight against the Katacans, at the very least protect them from harm. (Sidenote, since the IPC held control over Sigonia, they should have stopped the fighting in the first place). However, they simply stood by and did nothing, resulting in the deaths of around 6,000 Avgin, with around 3,000 went missing (or injured, I don’t remember, either way it’s bad).

But wait! It gets worse! Aventurine when he was still known as Kakavasha referred to the IPC as “the men in black/the men in black suits”, and his first master says he bought Aventurine from “the men in black/the men in black suits”, likely mocking the way he referred to them. Therefore THE IPC TOOK PART AND LIKELY EVEN CREATED A FUCKING SLAVE TRADE IN SIGONIA

Look being made into an indentured servant isn’t fun, but idk personally I’d take that any day of the week OVER BEING ENSLAVED

That’s not even to mention how horrible of a reputation Sigonian’s have in the galaxy, one likely spread by/resulting from the IPC themselves, as at least on Aventurines planet they do not have the mobility to make a name for themselves. (Honestly it’s a mini theory of mine that Aventurines scam is what partly contributed to this reputation, and his status as a slave is something the IPC conveniently left out in their broadcast about it-)

But, you might be saying, didn’t Aventurine have a choice to join the masked fools and leave the IPC, isn’t he free now? And to that I say, it’s complicated.

Considering the amount of suicidal shit Aventurine has done while being part of the IPC, he clearly hasn’t been having a fun time as a member of one, so why does he stick around, especially with the Fools invite? Even if he was a slave, does that absolve him of the crimes he’s committing now? What could justify his actions?

Revenge, plan and simple.

This is going to delve into some spoiler territory for the end of the Penacony 2.2 quest, something which I didn’t feel like mentioning earlier because I’m sorry but everyone and their mother already knows Boothill’s lore. Now, let’s get into it.

Aventurine accepts Jades offer to join the IPC, and when he becomes a Stoneheart, the first thing he asks about is the fate of the Avgin, to which he then learns that besides him, they are all dead. You see, from birth Kakavasha was pushed onto a pedestal as the savior of the Avgin, but now that there are no more Avgin to save, his primary motivator in becoming a Stoneheart (beyond not being enslaved anymore) is gone.

So what does he do now?

Simple, try to kill the motherfuckers behind it.

That’s why he takes on such risky gambles still, and why he wagers and wants Diamond to promote him to rank p46. The higher Aventurine gets the closer he gets to his goal of taking down the IPC for good.

Which is why his meeting with Boothill is so meaningful. I think Boothill is going to “kidnap” him and together they are gonna take down the wicked bitch that is Oswaldo Schneider for his literal crimes against humanity.

Mark my words, an IPC downfall is going to happen, and I think Topaz, Aventurine, Boothill and Ratio are going to be at the forefront of it.

However, Topaz and Ratio (and by extension the rest of the galaxy) have to learn/realize the true horrors of the IPC (although I can sense Ratio doesn’t really like them, and he’s learned a lot from Aventurine, I doubt he knows the full extent of the situation or is in any way happy about it). Therefore? Topaz mental breakdown arc? Ratio lore? PLEASE??!? The IP3 compliment one another so well and god I can’t wait for that to come to fruition.

I really want to see a Topaz and Ratio centered story leading up to an IPC smackdown, and I think we are gonna learn a lot more about how shitty they are in the later half of 2.2 and in 2.3 when the interlude and Jades release arrive.

As for the aforementioned Jade, she’s gonna need a Aventurine squared amount of trauma or reasoning behind her actions to seem in any way sympathetic, because right now she just seems like an evil bitch (in a semi good way, I will always respect the commitment to the bit) who loves her job and would make Machiavelli weep over how hard her ends are trying to justify her means.

[sexhaver]

independent of the current discussion about AI art, one of my foundational political beliefs is that trying to stuff proverbial genies (i.e. automation tech like the automatic loom/printing press/warehouse robots/AI art programs) back into proverbial bottles is a noble but inevitably losing fight at best and downright reactionary at worst/on average. ironically playing Talos Principle 2 has really driven this home for me because the entire plot centers around an allegory for the story of Prometheus stealing fire from the gods to give to humans, but instead of fire it's the ability to violate thermodynamics to create mass and energy out of nothing. and the game keeps trying to frame the decision of what to do with this tech as a huge moral and ethical dilemma, and i keep not getting why im supposed to feel conflicted. "the gods themselves are warning you against it!" damn, they sound like dumbasses. "members of your utopian society are conflicted on what to do!" okay so some of them are wrong. "here's some audio logs showing that misuse of the technology killed someone by accident!" great! now we know what not to do to avoid that! "are you really so full of hubris that you think you can avoid the same mistakes as your forebears?" uh, yeah, they wrote down their mistakes for a reason. like idk why people on here keep being surprised that i support technological advancement for the sake of advancement and THEN critique how it sucks under capitalism specifically instead of just declaring it (say it with me now) Ontologically Evil. i spent 5 years in college majoring in robotics/CS and worked in warehouse/biomed automation for another 5. do you really expect me to entertain literal Luddite rhetoric? be serious

[duck-in-a-thrift-store]

Prologue? Pilot? IDK Man I Just Work Here

part 1.1

{hello and welcome to the very first chapter of the full house au. i know @moreover-clover and @redley-of-many-noodles offered to beta this fic for me; i appreciate that and i may very well take you up on it for later chapters, but tbh i have homework that really needs to get done and i will not be able to focus on anything else until i get this out of the way, so... hopefully its not terrible i guess. that said, i did initially start writing this in past tense and then decided to do it in present instead, so if anyone notices a typo/tense error, feel free to point it out so i can fix it lol

trigger warning for mentions of injuries and death

now without further ado...}

~~~

Stumbling past the automatic glass doors, covered in blood- but is it his own? Or does it belong to the barely conscious man he’s dragging along beside him?

Probably both.

The bright white lights overhead burn his eyes and the sharp sterile scent of chemicals does the same to his nose- this is not a pleasant place to be, but it’s the only place to be right now. It’s their only hope of not losing yet another person to this alternate dimension shit that’s been plaguing their lives for three years.

Seeing Eddie’s crumpled, torn-apart body in the Upside Down, watching Dustin sob over him- that had been bad enough. They may have had almost matching wounds, but Eddie’s were deeper, and there were twice as many of them, and, god, that could have been him, it should have been him.

Dustin’s devastated and the world is ending and we’ve lost someone else and dammit didn’t I tell him not to be a hero?

But then he’d found a pulse. The faintest flutter, but it was there, and it spurred him right back into action, adrenaline pumping overtime through his veins even as he was ready to collapse. Both of them might well be on death’s door, but they had hope.

And then, just as they made it back through the gate, they had gotten the call over the walkie about Max.

The panic and despair threatened to settle back over him, driving him into the ground with its weight. He had been trying so hard to keep her safe since they realized she was Vecna’s next target, and now…

They were supposed to meet up at the hospital, so that’s where he went. He has to see the kids and he has to keep Eddie breathing and maybe just maybe he’ll get a chance to get his own wounds looked at, if there’s time. Robin will never forgive him if he lets rabies take him out.

So he and Dustin have Eddie slung between them, barreling clumsily through the Hawkins ER like a lopsided bull in a proverbial china shop while everyone else stares on in confusion and horror at the state they’re in. If anyone recognizes the fallen king or the target of the ongoing manhunt, they don’t say anything, and for that one tiny thing in the long and awful list of what’s happened today, he’s grateful.

There are, however, voices aimed in his direction, lilted up at the end in interrogation, but he can’t afford to think right now; he can only keep moving forward, giving weakly shouted answers to questions that go in one ear and out the other. His mind is clouded with fear and the desperation to get all his important people back together in one room so he can see that they’re all still alive. If they aren’t, if someone is missing, if Max doesn’t make it, if no one will treat Eddie-

He’s vaguely aware that he’s begging at this point, but he doesn’t care. His brain is too busy listing.

Robin, Nancy, Erica, Lucas- they’re together, they’re with Max. The Byers are all the way in California; Mike is probably on his way back right now- what a mess to come home to. Dustin- he’s with me. Safe. Eddie- also with me, not safe, probably dying.

They may not have known each other long, but he does feel tears prick his eyes at the thought- they had literally marched into hell together, after all. A nurse offers him a tissue- when did they get here? When did he sit down? And why is the room spinning like the Starcourt ceiling last July?

He doesn’t get an answer to any of his questions, doesn’t even get to voice them, before the room is going dark and Dustin’s frantic voice at his side is sounding further and further away, until everything goes quiet.

~~~

The silence is broken by a harsh ringing noise, followed by muffled voices, the latter growing clearer as the former slowly fades out. He knows those voices.

He jolts upright, sending a sharp trail of pain through his lacerated torso, but is momentarily distracted by the fact that he had somehow wound up in a hospital bed between blacking out and waking up. As soon as his mind catches up to speed on his new whereabouts, he looks wildly around the room- not exactly a typical hospital room, but that hasn’t registered yet- taking stock of every face he can see, every voice he can hear.

To his immense relief- and also confusion- he sees Max in a bed just like his right across from him, Lucas and El at her side. She’s in bad shape, but she appears to be alive, at least.

Thank god. Wait- El? What is she doing here?

The next thing he sees is the entire Byers family- plus two extra guys, one of whom looks familiar but way paler and thinner and more beaten up than Steve remembers- squeezed onto a couch at the far end of the room.

Weren’t they in California? And- hold on- is that Hopper? Isn’t he dead?

Wait.

Am I dead?

Before he can have an existential crisis, though, something snaps him out of it. A hand on his shoulder, rougher than he would have liked, to be honest, but grounding. Dustin- who he realizes must have been sleeping in the chair between him and the next bed over- has just woken up in time to catch him doing the same, and the kid looks thrilled. Exhausted, emotionally drained, but thrilled.

“Steve! Guys, he’s awake!”

All eyes turn his way, just about everyone accounted for, it seems, and somewhere in the back of his mind he wonders how Robin and all the kids got here with their usual chauffer currently out of action. But then he notices something else. Something that honestly shouldn’t be as startling as it is, considering everything else going on.

All the parents are here too. And they look… well, about how they can be expected to look, given the circumstances.

“Good, I’m glad you’re alright,” says Karen Wheeler, arms crossed over her chest, menacing gaze sweeping the room. “Because my son came home in the back of a pizza van, begging us to take him to the hospital, where apparently you and two of his other friends have been half-dead all night in the middle of these so-called ‘earthquakes,’ and I’d really like an explanation. From all of you.”

~~~

The room was dead silent, the parents staring in wide-eyed shock as the long-winded, traumatic narrative drew to a close.

“So… I guess you guys need some time to process all that, huh?”

Dustin’s question was met with a sudden cacophony of returning inquiries, sharp and frantic and tinged with bewilderment, overlapping one another in their haste. It was hard to tell who said what through the haze of whatever painkillers they put in his IV.

“How the hell did we not know about any of this?”

“Hawkins is cursed?”

“Why didn’t any of you say anything?”

“All this has been going on under our noses for years?”

He had been expecting disbelief, accusations of letting their imaginations run away from them, but… their tale connects a few too many dots, makes a little too much sense, considering how strange and malevolent life has become in their formerly sleepy little town.

“Are- are you guys- mad?” Will asks, even though he, out of all of them, has the least to worry about.

Before any of them could answer, Mike jumps in, “Because, if you are, that’s really not fair, we’ve sorta been through a lot as it is-”

“And that’s exactly why we’re mad- no- furious. Our kids have been going through hell right in front of us and we had no idea! Of course we’re going to be upset about it! You guys could have died, and we would have had no idea what happened!”

“Well, yeah, I guess, but- we didn’t. We’re fine, mom…”

“You are absolutely not fine. After everything you just told us about? There’s no way you could possibly be fine. This whole thing is so far outside the realm of fine.”

There’s a heavy pause after that; it’s not like anyone can disagree with her. When no response comes, she turns her fierce, teary eyes on the older teens.

“What about you guys? You- Steve, Jonathan, Nancy- you’ve known about all this the whole time! Why didn’t you tell us? Why didn’t you come to us for help?” It sounds like an accusation, and yet… there’s more pain in her voice than anything. Her targets wince, crumple, while Robin and Argyle- whoever that is- just sort of awkwardly shuffle about off to the side, none of them meeting Mrs. Wheeler’s gaze.

It's Joyce who ends up breaking the tense silence.

“In their defense, Karen, Hop and I knew about all this too. The thing is- we weren’t allowed to tell anyone.”

Having become one of her anger’s new targets, Hopper quickly explains, “The Hawkins lab freaks made us sign a bunch of NDAs, take a vow of silence on the whole matter, basically. It was the only way to get them to cooperate. If we had gone around telling people, we could’ve put everyone in even more danger. And besides, before now, would you have even believed us? If we had told you there were monsters like something out of a sci-fi movie hunting folks down, taking over minds, opening portals to another dimension- right in the middle of Hawkins?”

“Would you have believed your kids?” Joyce adds softly, addressing all her fellow moms in the room.

At that, Karen deflates. She exchanges a look with Sue and Claudia, and speaks for all of them when she says, “I… I guess not. I want to say I would have, but… it’s all too crazy. If we hadn’t seen what we saw today, and if you all didn’t have each other backing up your story, well… honestly, I would have thought you were making it up.” Apparently the Wheelers had almost driven right into one of the rifts- one of the very obviously otherworldly rifts- on their way here. Well, they had to find out somehow.

“And that’s another reason we couldn’t tell you. We didn’t want you to think we were crazy,” Nancy explains.

Lucas tacks on, “We also didn’t want you to send El back to the lab, or to any other messed up place that would lock her up and hurt her.”

El nods seriously, a fearful expression flashing across her face as she takes a step back, bumping into Max's bed. Lucas places a reassuring hand- the one not occupied with holding Max's- on her shoulder.

“Oh- honey, no, we would never do that. Don’t worry. We actually owe you a lot, it sounds like; I can’t thank you enough for saving my children’s lives. You’ll always be safe with us, as far as I’m concerned.”

“But that’s the thing,” Susan interjects, not taking her watery eyes off her comatose daughter. “They’re not safe, none of them are, not here. And they haven’t been for a long time, it seems. I don’t know when they will be safe. I hate to say it, but I don’t think our kids should stay in Hawkins.”

This triggers a rush of protests from the kids, voices once again blending in a way that’s difficult for Steve to keep up with.

“But- but Hawkins needs us! Now more than ever!”

“Yeah! We have to stay and fight!”

“We can’t just let Vecna have our town!”

Hopper motions for everyone to settle down. “Listen, kids. I know you want to help, but you’ve been fighting this battle for too long as it is. You all never should have been involved in something so dangerous in the first place.”

“Right, what he said. I mean, you’re just kids, for god’s sake!” Claudia adds in, although she still looks mostly stunned by everything she’s just found out about.

“This is not your responsibility. We’ll stay here and fight, and you all will get somewhere safe, somewhere far away from all this.”

This does indeed sound like a direct order from their returned-from-the-dead resident chief of police. What comes next, though, is much gentler, fatherly, and he’s definitely looking right at El when he says it.

“Let us take it from here, okay?”

~~~

{i decided to break this up into 2 parts; idk when ill post the second half but it should be fairly soon. also dont know when ill put it up on ao3 as i dont currently have an account there, but im definitely planning to bc with as much as i have planned for this au so far its going to be a pain in the ass to read it all here lmao

edit: its going to be 3 parts instead of 2

Link to part 1.2 here}

[runthepockets]

abt your men being proverbially shit on post: i mean i agree sorta, bioessentialism is unhelpful and hurtful, and rn you see a lot of shit from cis women abt how men cant help but be bad people etc. and that kinda shit is not helpful at all. but i agree w the person who replied to that post too. i mean i wouldnt make a joke like "i hate men" to a dude's face bc it's unhelpful in the same way i wouldn't say i hate white people to a random white person's face, but like. yknow? i dont know specifically what example you're thinking of but i would pretty confidently say there IS a difference between how women talk abt men and how men talk abt women. i agree that it's unhelpful for them and YOURSELF to genuinely earnestly think men are genetically unable to be better bc it just. isn't true. but i would definitely say misogyny and "i hate men" are different. again though idk what example you're using here, but just like... when i walk around as a woman, and even when i walk around as a man, i see like every third guy talkin crazy shit on how Fundamentally Different women are from men and women are This horrible thing and women are That horrible thing and women Can't Help But Be Crazy and when i talk to women all i get are "well he's a man. he's stupid." and usually that doesn't read as bioessentialism, it reads as tiredness from dealing with misogyny all the time. so i agree to an extent, bioessentialism is an issue, and all the "feminine energy astrology balanced by male aggressiveness and men can't help but be stupid people because their brains are wired differently" are contributing to a worsening of some kind, but also i don't know that i'm seeing more manhate than i am misogyny, still to this day, and i am able to opporate socially as both a man and a woman so i see both sides pretty frequently. i feel like you have a specific example you're thinking of that i don't know, because all i can think of are the times i've personally seen men freak out and do shitty stuff because they know a woman who doesn't feel safe around men that they are close to, and both are really horrible about communication, which is a two part thing and a lot more complicated than just random negativity

I don't think I said manhate is more common than misogyny, and I'm sorry if I did because that's not really what I was going for. The point of that post was more to point out the hypocrisy of taking low blows at men while women doing the same thing gets crickets and tumbleweeds. Maybe you haven't experienced this, but I certainly have as a man. Just as there's things I can do that are easier for me to get away with as a dude, there are things chicks can get away with easier than I ever could.

I don't really think the way different genders talk about each other is that different, pre transition I heard women talk crazy shit about dudes, about how we can't control our sex drives and how we're useless if we don't make enough money, and tbh I don't really see how "he can't help being dumb and useless, he's a man" is any less of a meanspirited generalization than "she can't help being oversensitive and hysterical, she's a woman." It's both generalizing stereotypes that are, on some level, hurtful to the demographic they're being hurled at. There's plenty of men who have greivances with abusive and shitty women and we (RE: LEFTIST SPACES) don't let them speak poorly of women, so why is it ok in these same spaces to let women say whatever just cus of their trauma? It's like you say, respect is a two way street. I'm not listening to anyone who makes blind assumptions about me because of my gender and presentation.

I'm going to parrot my friend's reply as well: I don't think a lot of this is "just venting", I don't think making generalizations and saying cruel things about 50% of the population exists in a vaccuum. And even if it did, I still think I'm allowed to say "hey, it hurts my feelings when you say I'm dumb and useless", because at the end of the day you can't deny feelings.

I'm glad you don't say shitty things about men to their faces, but women have done those things to me so you can't speak for all of them. I've been called a moid and told I wouldn't get respect until I "stopped raping and killing women and children" even though I've never put my hands on a woman or child in any way that could be described as anything short of "platonic and consensual". I've been told that I'm not allowed to feel hurt and upset when women verbally abuse me because women are saints who can do no wrong, because they're lower on the social pecking order than me, because other men are nasty and cruel so I have to suck it up and take one for the team. I think people only think this stuff is "harmless venting" because they don't actually realize how biased their perceptions of men and masculinity are. I've had many trans men who can testify to my experiences word for word going as far back as the 70s in the very queer and feminist spaces that I've been bitching about for the past 3 years. So while I don't think institutional misandry is real, or anything, while I don't think women are at fault for being annoyed with how shitty we can be, I do definitely think prejudice is real and I think it's dished out rather unfairly and uncritically.

[eldritch-spouse]

Thank you for answering my ask about lust monsters so detailed! I hope it didn't come off as judgemental to others who enjoy lust monsters (I just wanted to say how I enjoyed your work which is new for me).

I really like monster-loving for exploring "forbidden" topics. People who are interested in things outside what is considered "acceptable" are often mobster-ised so it makes sense that we enjoy monster loving. (Especially since monster loving has often historically been about autonomy and/or the ostracised loving and being loved)

I find your universe really interesting, especially the idea that certain more powerful monsters (I forgot what you called them, I think it started with V?) Like Krulu and Hummuna Mama exist.

It's an interesting take on our pursuit for an "all powerful" boss at the top of the proverbial pyramid. Th fact that there are those considered gods that are of the same species but not necessarily the same "pantheon". They all have different interests and goals but it isn't portrayed as a "war of evil vs good" - it's less black and white in a way that humanists them while being consistent to the fact that they're disturbingly inhuman. It creates an interesting dynamic.

There being different types of powerful monsters & monster power structures as well (the icons of the rings of hell > demons of the rings > imps, the scientifically created monsters, the clergy structure) makes a mismatch of cultures in a way that makes the world more bustling and rich. It's kind of a paganistic/pan approach that I really love!!

Real life doesn't follow a simple a > b > c pipeline and is more messy so the wonder/wildness in your stories that allow escapism and exploration of weird ideas/topics isn't overshadowed by a sense of being lost in the senseless madness that's trying too hard to be mad. (Idk if that makes sense)

Stories often use "rules" and "laws" within the world (sort of a "okay, this ridiculous thing can happen because of this explanation behind it, but because of that this other can never happen because that would be ridiculous"). And I love how different writers approach it but sometimes it can be restricting and easy to forget there are always exceptions to the rules. It can be daunting.

Are there any aspects of your world that you feel exceptionally proud of? Or any that you put a different line of thought behind? I always like hearing about the thought process of authors who write monsters & fantasy

[Once more, most of it under the read more.]

I don't really dwell on the "why"s of monsterfucking. There's always some level of psychology behind it -And I know this sounds ridiculous, but you could make a pretty interesting sociological study about certain aspects of this philia- Everyone has their own reasons as to why they developed this, and I don't really take "pride" in it in the sense that I feel special for being a monsterfucker or that I revel in my own perceived "otherness".

This kink is for those who fit in and those who do not, which makes it a little weird when I see one or two rare instances of people making a weird sort of gaslight gatekeep girlboss situation out of it. Again, it's not too often I find this.

The monster species you're talking about are "siadar" (the longer designation being "astsar siadar"). It's hard for me to create all-powerful figures. For an all powerful character to succeed, they need to be used very carefully and scarcely, because the more of them you expose, the more you risk showing flaws in their design and supposed omnipotence. That's why I made it a point to not do that. Siadar are considered gods, but in reality they're just another species, with their own defined natures.

I leave a lot of loose and undefined ends in this narrative on purpose, and this is so that I can always pick and pluck at new sides and aspects of what I've already built, effectively never running out of potential content to explore. I can one day start chipping at siadar culture harder. I can go into the period of time where Hell was governed by the betrayer (which I intend to do something with, something that is already beginning but you can't tell yet). I can poke at all kinds of things.

I don't think the rules I've made thus far are restricting, but let's be honest, I'm leaving a lot of things vague on purpose specifically to allow myself a looser leash when creating pieces.

I wouldn't really say there's something I'm particularly proud of, so to say?

I liked incorporating the idea of Heaven and Hell not as "black and white" systems of "good and evil". Heaven is not a place where you go to when you die and have been good, nor is Hell a place you get dragged into post-death because you were a piece of shit in life. They're their own areas with a lot of history behind them, the general perception of which having been distorted somewhat with time, both by outsiders and insiders.

I like the way I've built religions in this universe, even if it would take me a long while to explain how each annex to "the surface" is perceived and why that's the case.

In fact, I like the origin behind monsters I concocted too, even if it's not exactly the most original.

Dorem's relationship with undead is also something I enjoyed thinking out, because most people assume a figure like him would revel in the chaos undead entities make, when Dorem is only a soulkeeper being constantly worn down by the shackles of his own work, constantly faced with what he perceives as his mistakes- Who, as the final nail in the coffin of his dignity, worship him as if he intentionally created them.

I like a lot of things about my narrative, but I'm not going to sit here and write paragraphs of what essentially amounts to petting my own ass.

The input was nice though! :v

[professorspork]

8 17 24

[8 answered previously; I have no new thoughts]

17. Past or present tense? Why?

Present, 100%. The easy 'why' is that I have an MFA in screenwriting and screenplays are always in present tense, so once I got in the habit there was no going back. It's just how I'm trained.

Beyond that, though, I do have a stylistic preference. I just... like the immediacy of it, the way it makes the story feel like it's living and breathing. Like. The difference between

Oh, she realized. She loved her.

and

Oh, she realizes. She loves her.

may be sort of a hyperbolic example because the strength of emotion I'm leaning on here, but it just... grabs me more, idk.

24. Thoughts on flashbacks/flashforwards.

Positive!

Like any tool, I suppose they can be overused in some instances, but I can't imagine why anyone would want to take them out of the proverbial toolbox. Not only can they be really useful on a macro level in terms of structure, but they can also be delightful as, like, a fun little parenthetical aside-- like a quick flash punchline cutaway a la Arrested Development.

But like... on a showing vs telling level, sometimes you just need to write a character actually living through something in the moment instead of just remembering it or describing it.

[shmowder]

Ascending is thee greatest compliment I can imagine, wow ♡ I too am ascending, meet me on the astral plane.

The P1 music being good is quite the selling point for me actually! I absolutely adore a good video game soundtrack. There are some songs from P2 that I love, but a lot of unmemorable ones, too. On that note, are there any songs or albums that you associate with Pathologic? Over the past few days, Shrines by Purity Ring has become this for me. Grandloves is a Victor song and Cartographist is a Yulia song... maybe because of the name. I also really heavily associate that whole album with Silent Hill 3 for some reason.

I love the little divorcing Yulia drabble omg. "Why bother honey? Just come back to bed." Like ok. I suppose I will. *does my best impression of that gif of Tigger walking away dejectedly* And the divorcing Eva one is funny.

Out of everyone, Yulia is actually the one I have the most trouble imagining as a yandere. She's so gentle and mild-mannered - so I agree with what you said in your other reply. She'd make it so she's the only one who'll be there for you in this sick sad world.

Your yandere thoughts are my yandere thoughts <3 What's better than codependent mutual obsession to the exclusion of everything else... wait, don't answer that. I think I imprinted on the relationship in Hemingway's A Farewell to Arms. "You've such a lovely temperature." "Your blood coagulates beautifully." Would yandere Daniil say those things? Probably not but I'm thinking about it anyway.

Losing my entire MIND over your yandere Victor thoughts and I didn't even send you a request? You're telling me this in casual conversation and I am eating it UP omfl. Ooh thanks for reminding me of that quote. (Would Yulia say it was destiny that I chose to be 🐿️, a prey animal, before these ideas ever existed?) God, how uncomfortable would that be for Khan and Maria. Especially given you're closer to Maria's age than to Victor's.

YOUR WHOLE HEART LAID BARE BEFORE HIM ON A SILVER TRAY! PLEASE why is this reminding me of when you said "dissect and break her down to use for their own biddings" from your post on the Kains obeying the laws of nature. The lyric "I'll stake rare toothpicks in my dirt filled heart / meander the sacred lot of you in every season" from Grandloves by Purity Ring. Are these like the Lines that the kin talked about?? Not to sound like an insane person but I always imagined that letting someone get to know you, really really know you and the entirety of your ugly soul, is like being peeled. Ripping all your skin off and being so vulnerable. And for someone to want anything to do with you after that? [disintegrates]

More overprotective yandere Victor thoughts I had while doing the dishes earlier in this mcfreaking humidity (before I read most of your reply): not a big gift giver but will make dove-themed things for you or have them made for you. A cuckoo clock, a music box. You're the proverbial bird in the gilded cage. Spoils you in the sense of not having to do small labors/chores - even if you want to do the dishes, well guess what, that's someone else's job. (Perhaps this was wish fulfillment while doing the dishes).

Idk where him randomly ignoring occasionally came from tbh, but oddly I feel it's specific to him as a yandere only. Perhaps he has flashes of self-awareness - is he being overbearing? He's giving you some time to yourself! But the townspeople are so chilly - they're polite to you, but you won't find any warmth or companionship there. There isn't anywhere else you belong. Will solicit your opinion on intellectual pursuits but will only use and credit your small ideas. Will twist your big ideas & won't publicly credit you for them; will have a convincing and perfectly rational reason for not doing so that he explains gently to you. But truthfully, it wouldn't do for you to be getting *too* much of the townspeople's attention, and god forbid you start thinking you can make something of yourself without him.

I love the contrast of yandere Big Vlad! Yandere Big Vlad my beloved indeed... DON'T MAKE ME HAVE FEELINGS FOR BIG VLAD PLEASE 🫣 Ngl the #1 quality that the fictional men I would bang (though there are not many) have in common is Being a Widower 😭 Gosh the glorified pet/temptation & sin incarnate/prince/princess paragraph is good stuff. And Saburov 100% ok with being a cuck lmao

Yandere Aspity - if she falls in love with you then the earth itself would too? That's so cute honestly!! I also really like the second option, "a piece of the earth defying its original self." Neat. I saw bits and pieces of human kink stuff while looking through your archive at sorcerous-caress. It's interesting to think about, though difficult to wrap my head around another species seeing humans as "other" and exotic haha

We haven't mentioned yandere Aglaya yet. I haven't progressed past day 7 yet so there's some context I need to refresh myself on probably. But I think yandere Aglaya is overprotective and isolating as well. It's for your own good and one day you'll understand. She wants to save you! She'll take you far away from here and build the two of you a little nest and you'll be so safe and happy. You're the only one she can be her true self around, the only one she can bear her soul to.

-

Ex-husband Artemy was great and and I'm completely sold on aroallo Artemy :) For him to give you a kiss without being drenched in the smell of post-surgery blood? lolllllll Not to butter you up even more (jk I am happy to do this) but you can get me to read x readers for characters I don't wish to know carnally and that's not typical of me. It helps that the characters are all really interesting, but the way you write them definitely helps too 🫡🫡

Thanks for letting me be a silly goose on your blog!! And for all your sweet comments. I have the same worry about repeating myself, oh well. But you make me feel comfortable being a little deranged on here. As always, take all the time you need to respond.

🐿️ anon

Hmm songs I associate with Pathologic

There is one! but it's in Arabic "مطلوب زعيم - كاريوكي" It talks about leaders or governments in general betraying its people and how those people still fought to survive despite it all. Despite the leaders they entrusted throwing them to the wolves. The song describes wanting a righteous leader that can hear their (town) heartbeat (literally the lyrics which fit too well) A leader that doesn't live in castles when a portion of their people live in houses akin to graves (again pathologic lore)

The Kains, the Olgimskays and even the law obiding Saburov all used the plague to try and gain more power, to prove that their way of thinking and living is superior. They didn't help people just for the sake of helping them or combating the plague, no they wanted something out of it. They derailed the healers progress and made everything way harder for everyone.

Oh and my favourite Pathologic 2 OST is Twyrin. Yeah it's on the shorter side but god is it so iconic? OF FUCKING COURSE ANDREY STAMATIN GETS THE BEST MUSIC IN THE GAME >:(

While in Pathologic Classic HD it's Utroba Disease

I also love the character specific music? Like the Haruspex Lair theme, because it embodies him in a way! It's an impressive feat to merely use music alone without lyrics to tell a story or communicate a certain vibe, but god does P2 and P1 achieve it seamlessly.

Take the soundtrack Warehouse-Rubin for example and how it starts so quietly, building up ever so slowly that the silence itself merges with the music notes.

Like an ever growing shadow in the corner of your vision, it's hard to spot and you forget about it immediately after looking away.

But then. Oh but then.

Insanity spiral. A painfully sharp high pitched sound pierces your eardrumns, akin to a human scream muffled by the beat, a symphony of agony, a tortured soul crawling out of the grave to give one final scream with the last of its breath.

Lastly, it stops. The screeching of the record follows, someone choking on air, or regaining their breath.

The curtains are drawn back, and Rubin puts his gaurd up again.

There are so many beautiful ones too that tell a tale with just their title. Painting a melancholic picture.

The Haruspex is all alone

The music itself feels as if it's making fun of him while letting him wallow in his sadness. Cruelly taunting him and breaking his already bruised heart into a million pieces. Not even giving him the courtesy to lick his own wounds or mourn what he has lost.

The Bachelor learns

Starts with one instrument, and then gradually, more and more are added, as if every new sound is a puzzle piece that the Bachelor is putting back into place. Slowly making progress until a whole symphony is formed when all he had at the start was one single note, sounding like the bells of a clock.

The Changeling sneaks into the Stamatins loft

The suspension! The thrill in every note, building you up before letting you fall when it suddenly pauses. You can't be discovered, someone is nearby, you need to be cautious. Hold your breath, steady your feet, and don't step on the creaking wooden boards. After the excitement dies down, you're given a steady rhythmic beat that guides your foosteps. The sound of someone taking a short breath is incorporated into the notes, even the breath in your lungs need to follow the beat and blend in

I'm glad you liked the Yulia divorce hc lmao. I feel like whatever worst case scenario possible there is, Yulia already thought of it and not only that but spent restless nights imagining the divorce before the two of you even got married?

So when it arrives she is prepared, doesn't even bat an eye. And her casual approach makes you doubt yourself out of sheer shock? Like huh, maybe divorce is really not a big deal... yk what sure I'll stick around for a little bit longer, scoot over.

The biggest flaw in Yulia's design is that even if she had those yandere urges, would she bother acting out on them? Suddenly, her fatalism becomes a beneficial trait. Gentleness goes a long way more than possessiveness ever does.

Yandere Yulia would rather reel you in slowly, be as soft as a breeze of air. You could spend your whole life together and never be aware of the unhinged thoughts going through her brain at all times.

She is easily content and doesn't demand a lot. Probably one of the safest bets in terms of yanderes. She doesn't isolate you or try to hold power of you. While eats her up at night that you might leave or find someone else, those feelings aren't new to her, she had a similar crisis about the thought of the world ending last month.

By being unstable and unhinhed naturally, the yandere thoughts perfectly blend within her inner world and all that comes out is the same mild-mannered Yulia you've known.

And oh 👀 those are amazing lines for Yandere Daniil. Honestly he'd be as intense as a storm, you'll be constantly prodded and questioned as if you're the greatest enigma he has ever seen.

It'd would annoy him so much that he can't understand why he is so obsessed with you. He NEEDS to know. Why is everything about you so special? Why is the colour of your blood the most beautiful red he has ever seen? Why are your pupils the loveliest black there is? Why are you so intoxicating and magnetic?

If that was before getting together, he'd notice some unhinged comments slipping his lips every now and then while everything else seems to be as business usual.

And omfg yes everything you said about Yandere Victor is so true.

He wants you to think he is on your side, that he could never be anything but supportive and kind. That the idea of him purposely sabotaging your attempts to have anything that doesn't involve him is silly and you're overworked, sweetheart.

He babies you intentionally so you forget how to fly. The townfolks are nice and chill to you no matter what so you never have to put in effort in socialising and therefore will never develop any meaningful relationships or build a support system besides him.

It's like being suffocated by a feather pillow. Victor can't possibly be stealing your ideas if he credited you for the small ones and makes such a big deal of mentioning that it was you who picked the colours for the townshall new curtains.

So how come he stops at that and doesn't even bring up the new laws you proposed adding or public wellfare plans you worked hard on?

Coincidentally, the next month, people stop you in the streets to sing the praises of your husband for coming up with such a brilliant plan for aiding people struggling with income. A plan that suspiciously sounds similar to your own papers left collecting dust in one of the locked drawers in his desk.

Except it's just different enough that you feel doubtful it was on purpose. Remembering his words, how silly of an idea this even is. Yeah... you're probably just need some rest. Victor is a genius, what would he ever copy your papers for? You need to have more faith in your husband.

Until one day you'll wake up and realise you've completely forgotten how to fly, that the wings weighted heavy by your sides. How kind is it of your husband to offer to pluck some of the feathers off and relief you from the burden of thinking or working? Even simple tasks are too much. No, leave the dishes. That's someone else's job, dove.

oh god Yandere Aglaya is a special case. Because she is a meta character, she knows about the 4th wall (in a way) That makes her so much more dangerous.

And 👀 She can fall for the player, becoming a yandere for this force controlling the healers around.

Aglaya knows she is a doll and thinks you are a doll, too. She knows this is just a game played by kids, that nothing really matters. No one is really alive.

So it's completely morally justified in her views to take you for her own. I mean, she is THE inquisitor and her word is law. She is the one who orders the destruction of the polyhedron, you think she can't simply order you to be her spouse?

But Aglaya wouldn't take stoop that low, it's also tiresome to constantly throw her weight and power around. Instead, she will tell you about the bleak reality you're living in and how everyone and everything in your life is a lie.

Did it break your mind? Good, stay with her then. It will be extremely easy to nudge you along.

Did it not? ...that is strange. Explain yourself. Now.

Are you that apathetic? or are you too stupid to comprehend her words? Which one is it?

...oh, you don't care because the love you feel is real even if the people are not?

You've spelled your doom with that sentence, she is hooked. All her life she has been the only one with free will, in all her years of living she has never ever met another person who is aware of the truth of this universe without having gone insane.

But you stood your grounds.

Yandere Aglaya doesn't beat around the bush, she doesn't play mind games nor manipulate you.

She puts all her cards on the table, shows you ever single one. Explains herself fully and make her intentions clear.

She is not letting you go, you cannot run far enough. She has you corner on this chessboard, what is your move?

Be with her and she will make your life heaven. You don't have to do anything you don't want to, she won't force you. She just needs you around like her body needs oxygen to stay alive. She will provide you with anything you dream of, she will use her powers to shield you. Even in the worst case scenario where whe she is stripped of her inquisitor powers, she will find a way somehow to make sure no harm befalls you.

Aglaya is very direct. She doesn't lie, but... she has a tendency to conceal the truth. Would you count that as her lying? She doesn't.

But if you call her out on it, she doesn't deny it. If you ask if she's the one who behind why your world is suddenly falling apart, why no one dares look you in the eyes anymore. She will admit it with zero shame.

She doesn't try to paint herself in a tender soft light like Victor, nor does she keep her innermost desires in her brain and only show you gentleness like Yulia.

Aglaya is a constant, she doesn't falter. You can slow her down but never stop her. It's simply a matter of time before she wins.

And really... her feelings are sincere. The way she openly admits her awe when it comes to your mind and heart, the flirtatious poems that smoothly slide off her tongue in an almost jarring scene from the usual icey lips of the steel inquisitor.

She refuses to involve you in her work, they're bad people and will only try to take advantage of you. Everything you are will be broken down then stiched together to fit their views.

But she lets you fly freely instead of caging you in. It is your freedom she fell in love with after all. All those extreme measures before were just so you'd agree to her proposal, after getting together, Aglaya is more than content and never clingy.

She only asks to see you once a day. The rest is up to you. They are all just dolls in the end. She doesn't even consider them human enough for her to be jealous over.

Aglaya is used to getting results and finding solutions to impossible problems. Why would she ever do something which might harm you or scare you away? that is counterproductive and won't result in you falling in love with her.

Instead, she offers to compromise. You can live your life, have all your friends, and do whatever your heart may desire. As long as she stays a constant in that life, write her letters back and tell her about your days. She genuinely enjoys taking a peak at your mind.

Aglaya is very charming when she wants to. She knows how to read people like the back of her hand. It's easy to figure out what motivates you and what you're attracted to. It's easier for her to dapt those traits and watch you subconsciously seeking her company more. She knows what makes you tick and how to sweep you off your feet.

[taehyungfirst]

I think we'll start to see some of the members break into other solo activities. I'm here for Actor Jin. I think we're going to see Namjoon work in other mediums, sooner rather than later given his mystery project promo (and his repeated mentions of art and other mediums). I could see him creating and curating. Yoongi? I think he's going to be focused on producing the group efforts. But, pipe dream, I'd love to see him take on scoring a film. His lyrics and rapping skills get deserved attention but the backing of his songs is so interesting and I've love to see more of it in a different form.

I'd love to see Hobi lean more into fashion -- a fashion partnership/collab -- he could be the guest editor of a shoot/project/mag or do a small run of something. I don't know about the others. Tae has already been involved in so many other projects. I definitely think he'll act in some way-- the amount of offers he must have after the IU music video! But Tae keeps us guessing. Variety shows, live performances, acting in music videos, coffee ambassador, muse for all the magazines. I know he's got something up his sleeve we don't expect.

I think we may see more collabs for JK. There is no way that every major recording artist isn't fighting through his proverbial inbox. I could see him doing collabs in conjunction with group work to keep his toe in the solo side (and on the charts) but not take the time/attention of a full album. I hope Tae might do this as well in his own way. I think he was so smart with his first album -- no collabs, live performances, not written by him (so people can't speculate). He's a critically and commercially acclaimed artist in his own right. I'd love to see him partner with other artists -- especially ones that aren't as mainstream.

And I think they'll do some big spon con together -- of what I don't know -- but something to globally highlight the reunion.

I could also see SK wanting them to do more prominent cultural ambassador-y stuff post-ms. I think of that video that Namjoon had to do for his graduation ceremony. It will be interesting to see how the navigate that and what they feel that they have to do in those capacities.

Ok, that's enough of a random ramble of thoughts...

Hi!

I love the idea of Namjoon curating a museum! I think it would suit him very well, and I hope his next project (which I assume it’s music) it’s gonna be something like Indigo again, I really liked the album. Yes for actor Jin and uhmmm I think Yoongi is gonna be an even bigger producer, if Pdogg isn’t in Hybe he will produce the group songs and I can see him having more projects piled up for other artists, I think he likes being a producer a lot.

I hope Hobi does some mentoring in a show again, he’s a great teacher and the industry’s best dancer so he should get a gig like that. Regarding Jungkook, do you think this America trial will keep going? Like do you think his solo career will keep being centered there?

I think Taehyung will drop a second ep somewhere in the future, and that he will drop Travel with me too idk why but I’m convinced that song is gonna see the light of the day (I’m just convincing myself 🕯️), also yeah more acting gigs, something international at some point.

[cold-neon-ocean]

Do you have any spicy headcanons about Baatar /Baavira that you’re willing to share? 😏

OH BOY, DO I EVER~

It's probably safe to say that almost all my thoughts regarding them are laced with spice in some fashion. And the bulk of the fic writing that I do for them lol but I'd be delighted to share some of my spicy thoughts regarding them~

As always do keep in mind that my headcanons are very much geared towards my very specific AU versions of them that I've built up over the last few years, however I do think they could apply to the canon as well in some regards.. maybe?? Idk lolol but I think about these two A LOT and I know that my interpretation of them can be pretty divergent from the popular fanon ideas but this is just how they are to me in my silly mind akdjfsf

Okay so starting out, it's not a secret that my version of Baatar is pretty stacked~ (whenever I’m drawing him on twitch my chat is always lamenting how badly they wanna grab his chest and honestly I’m glad the energy translates because I also draw him with that express thought in my head). I just love beefy nerds and feel like Baatar is well suited for it. I like joking that once he left home he just took all his pent up anger to the gym but that’s honestly pretty accurate -lol. It’s hard being a non-bender in a bender’s world, especially in any sort of leadership position so you have to gain any sort of edge you can. And said gains don’t go unnoticed. He and Kuvira have always been very touchy (and I’ll get back to that), and Kuvira definitely starts catching on to the fact that he kind of(aka ‘really’) enjoys when she pays his chest “extra” attention~ If you recall that one art piece I did of Kuvira slipping her hand into Baatar's uniform, which folks ingeniously called a "regular tiddy quality check", she tends to do stuff like that a lot and he tries not to show it, but it's fairly obvious that he actually likes it. Baatar is also not really used to being regarded in most any sense let alone as "impressive" in any fashion and Kuvira knows he feels pretty good about it in that sense as well. Plus when your man is built like a whole refrigerator, why wouldn't you give him a squeeze every now and then~

So I said these two are “touchy”, and yes they are. It’s become something of a reflexive affirmation between them. Having grown up in a very isolated “it’s us against the world” mindset, they’ve developed a rather strong codependency, one of the main languages for is touch. And that can be varying forms of touch but they’re a lot of the time inherently spicy~ They get especially handsy after extended periods of time spent apart, or in Kuvira's case when she can be in a bit of a mood- usually trying to grab Baatar's attention in a faux "I'm upset with you for not paying attention to me" sort of way. And Baatar often reciprocates in a playful "oh I'm sorry, please forgive me" response. But Baatar can get rather pouty when things don't go his way- not just specifically with her but just in general, and Kuvira will definitely rub up on him like a cat like "uh oh, why are we upset~?" and it'll be a cold day on the surface of the sun before either one of them aren't won over by that.

They were always stowing away when they could back in Zaofu. Kuvira loves to just be generally disruptive to get Baatar's attention since she loves to fluster him, and as this was set more during his phase of being closed in, and trying more to stay out of the way than anything by else, it wasn't all that difficult. Baatar really hadn't yet built up the nerve to think about going against his mother, and he definitely used to have that mindset of "no we can't have sex in my family's house that would be weird", which Kuvira interpreted as "but anywhere else is fine" and so she grabbed hold of that proverbial "anywhere else" and ran with it. She'd interrupt whatever he was doing at any given time to drag him off somewhere when they could slip away unnoticed. Their relationship was probably the worst kept secret in the city. They never got caught but it was fairly obvious what was going on between them. And eventually they moved into his room in the house (aka Kuvira was probably climbing in through his window and Baatar was just like "you know what, sure this is fine)

I (clearly) like imagining Kuvira as the more forward between the two. Or at least most of the time she's the first to instigate. Baatar grew from just getting dragged along to expectantly waiting for her to come to him as he's generally happy to let her set the pace for things. She had pretty much done so their entire relationship and she had a way of going about it in the most direct manner possible. Girl would come right out of her mouth with no warning like "You should just kiss me already" or when he's trying to work and she's bored so she just goes "hey, can I suck you off?" like she has the tact of a baseball bat to a window. But overtime he just got used to it. He started getting a little rush out of the rebellion of sneaking off with her, or in the times where they were left alone together in his fathers lab. I've also always headcanoned that Kuvira was actually the one to propose to him because she was tired of waiting for him to ask her lol. Baatar needs everything to be perfect when it comes to her but she literally couldn't care less. However Baatar can take the reigns at times. After his tether was finally cut from Zaofu he started building up some much needed self confidence and wherewithal. Finally figuring himself out as a person. Said self discoveries came in many forms, one of which being he can be rather insatiable and for those special occasions he gains a particular fervor where you just have to hold on for dear life and ride it out. Kuvira absolutely uses those opportunities to address him with "yes, sir" and he definitely feels some type of way about it.

Power play between the two of them is conducted in a specific manner, and Kuvira has always been particular about regarding Baatar as equal to herself, both in their status within the empire and as a person in general. It's something Baatar can be rather sensitive too, the idea of being seen as lesser than, and even fictitiously Kuvira just doesn't like playing around with that sort of thing. They do however enjoy the instances of one submitting entirely to the other to be ravished as they'd please. Where one's just laid back and taking the full force of the other in whatever manner they'd like. In a worshipy sort of way but it goes back and forth much more evenly.

Kuvira bless her is POSSESSIVE as hell. Yes she likes showing her man off but when people stare there is a threshold that shouldn't be crossed, and even Kuvira doesn't really know where that line is, sometimes she'll just be like "okay yes you can look at him- but not too much." And Baatar finds it kind of hilarious. She has a real jealousy streak on her and she's never even slightly subtle about it. Those are the instances where Baatar will go "well let me remind you how much I love you~" and- which he's well aware of, sometimes Kuvira likes to play up being upset just so he'll do that and put in the extra effort to make it up to her.

On the sillier side (because yes these two are silly!) During the Earth Empire campaign they've 100% fallen deadass asleep mid fuck on the train or something lolol like cock in mouth, cunt on face, and they are PASSED OUT LMAOOO

Kind of tying into the previous bullet, but Baatar can sleep through ANYTHING. Like he heard nothing when the Red Lotus attacked Zaofu the man was ASLEEP!!!! Like he sleeps like he's practicing for the coffin, so when Kuvira wants to do the cute "teehee waking my man up with a blowjob" routine, she has to put her lungs into fucking overdrive because she basically has to revive him from the dead for him to wake up SOBS

I filled out that 'Meet My OTP' thing with the two of them, and some of the main kinks for each of them I put- Baatar: breeding talk, medical talk/play (I hc him being very interested in the development of medical practice and technology because he is just very done with the prayer circles and acupuncture back in Zaofu), he's big on face fucking both giving and receiving, and also some cuddly comfy cock warming <3.

For Kuvira I put exhibitionism, she loves to Show Off, power play in varying ways- like I said she's particular about it particularly she actually likes giving up control with him because in every other aspect of life especially with the empire she always got people needing to be ordered around to get things done and she has to be the one to plan everything out so it's nice to just lay back and let someone else be in charge, especially since Baatar knows her inside and out to the degree he does. And lastly fucking with their clothes on, particularly their uniforms really does something for her. Baatar is so particular about how he dresses and presents himself that Kuv loves to rile him up by grinding on the pantleg of his expensive-ass suits or pulling threads with her teeth.

This got really long alkdsdfsd it's honestly been in my drafts a while and I would come back ever so often to add more as they came to me LMAO I could probably say a lot more on this topic because I think about it.. a lot and I love them very much ;;;;

[kithtaehyung]

RYEN WHAT THE F- i cant even- oh my god. when i tell you i squealed at the “bitch.” and everything was a blur from there, i feel dizzy! whew anyways lets start from the beginning: dom <3 i missed my fave! also i love readers character development moments so much my bby just needs some love & healing and yoongi is so understanding & soft with her (outside of the bedroom😭) also i love the new tradition building and the little mention of yoongi being closer next year and i live for their little eye contact/shared reaction moments during group activities it makes me blush every time😭 this was so good idk what to do w myself & im rambling! but youve outdone urself again🫂

-🧬

DNA BABYYY so.... yeah lmfao. that part happened. that whole chapter happened and now we know what suffering can look like LOLOL 

honestly same?? like after that it was all just one huge blur and a ride i very much enjoyed being on ahahaha. dom to the mf rescue! i missed her too so it was refreshing to write her again. and she’s a sag!!! a little detail thrown in there that no one has mentioned yet. 

and i’m glad you see the flaws in reader being healed. like they knew - knewww - that what they were doing was stupid but didn’t know why. after they figured it out, it was communicated and everything started being different from there. he really wanted to heal those proverbial wounds asap. 

the traditions building😭 i wanted this piece to end on a good note since it’s a holiday special, and i enjoyed writing the ending scenes a bunch. the series is serious in a lot of ways, but life isn’t all one thing. it holds multitudes, and that’s what i wanted to capture here. that and to show more of the sibling relationship, too. “your brother’s yell is already worth it” is one of my fave lines in the window<33 

anyways, thank you for reading and enjoying! i loved this commentary so much and we’ll see how things are for them next year :’)) 

[chocolate-failure]

Boiohboi I'm freaking out. I think it's been exacerbated by the tea I drank. I fw black tea heavily. I've really been digging irish breakfast tea but of course black teas, especially shit you be drinking for breakfast have a fair amount of caffeine in them. But man oh man do that shit be slapping like dicks on clits.

But yeah, I don't like feeling like I fucked up and I kinda feel like I fucked up. I bought presale tickets to this concert and spent a whole fucking lot to get floor seats but they've sold tf out before and I really want to see these bitches in concert. I feel like this is the definition of fomo but like I'm not so much scared of missing out as much as I'm just highly motivated to enjoy myself and I really like live music. It highkey feels like fomo implies that one covets an experience that's not entirely worth the investment. If I enjoy myself I feel like the experience is always worth it. Buuuuuuut idk if I got hitouch and I feel kind of dumb for impulsively buying this $600 ticket. I have the money, I could buy another one if I really wanted to and just give the other away but I also get so goddamn nervous and feel horrible when I buy stuff. Idk... but they're listed as general admission even though they're on the floor and with my fucked up impulse control and lack of executive function I felt super rushed to go ahead and check out so the ticket wouldn't get released... God the more I think about the more panicked but chilling I get. Like I'm panicked that I fucked up but also it's fine and my last hitouch experience wasn't great so maybe it's better I don't get hitouch. Not to mention I got the ticket on ticket master so it's not gon be like the 2019 MX concert. It's a real ticket, just expensive af. But also I feel like I fucked up. But it's okay, right? Like it's not the end of the world. But don't forget that you fucked up and should be ashamed of how dumb you are. Just buy another ticket when they go on sale fr.... how tf do I check if I have hitouch like.... I just need to know. Ugh.

I'll be fine.

But I should've checked or talked to someone who's done this before. Why didn't I ask someone?? I hate this.

You have floor seats stfu and move on.

Okay so yeah I'm trying not to scream but coolin, y'know.

It's okay I'm okay it's okay I'm okay it's okay I'm okay....

Okay

I feel fizzy. Like my brain is soaking in McDonald's sprite. Quite unpleasant. But writing has helped. It's helped an incredible amount. And I feel like it directly correlates with my weight. The last week I've been able to firmly cement myself in the 170s. Very much a good thing. An exceedingly comfortable development. I feel like the 170s were difficult before but this time the 180s were really mfkn hard to free myself from. I'll need to look back and see but almost entirely certain 170 was a problem for me in the past while the 160s weren't that bad but the 150s made weight loss go back to being hard. 150 is very comfortable but harder to maintain than the 140s I feel like I could maintain 140 along with gaining some muscle. Maaaaaan

Also I'm nervous af about food when I go visit my aunt in June. Like I kinda really don't wanna mfkn go cuz buffalo is horrible but also performative eating is a huge strain around my family. There are more people around who know that food used to be an issue for me so they'll notice subtle shit. Then going to see Ichigo... is that the name I gave him? I feel like it is. My bff from when I was a little ass kid. I'm taking a flight from Buffalo to jfk and hanging out with him and his partner might be extremely hard for me 🥴 like I kinda feel like it's gonna be too much. God I'm scared of losing all my progress but maybe if I can get myself down far enough I won't be as bent tf out of shape if a gain a couple lbs. I just really REALLY don't want to disappoint myself. But I'm a proverbial disappointment, it's probably inevitable.

I'm scared.

[lady-snow-flower]

RP QUESTIONNAIRE

Your Name: Laur

Characters: Berlioz, Hades, Merida, Nemo, Jun, Pip, Amity, Snow, Penny, Karen, Eboshi

Pick one of your characters and talk about their growth (we recommend choosing an older character, but it’s up to you!) What about their story has surprised you? What are you proud of? How have they changed from their original inception to now?

We’re gonna talk about Jun Moon. 

It turns out that I have a favorite kinda character, apparently– a character who simply loves to Not Grow (™) actually, to resist growth, to sometimes grow backwards and get worse. I have written this section before with both Mel and Ashleigh, where I talked a lot about that kind of anti-growth and why I love it. Guess what– we’re doing it again!

Well, only kind of! Because Jun DID grow…is growing… in fits and starts and a way that really excites me! And we all have Juno to thank for it!

But yes: Jun is a character who does not actually believe that people change. I discovered this, and many other things about Jun in our epic letter-writing experiment throughout the year. Only through this medium was Jun able to access emotions and memories he has ignored or suppressed. And at the root of a lot of Jun’s issues is I think this hopelessness that he is who he is and can never be anything but what he is. And I think that makes a lot of sense for him bc his life was in many ways decided the second he was born. As the oldest son in a Korean household, that just– immediately defines things about your life that you really don’t have any say about. And it’s not like Jun COULD change those things if he tried. He will always be mathyung. 

But… even just acknowledging things he wishes opens up the door for other smaller, minute changes. It’s been such a subtle journey. And he is still very stuck, very passive, very resistant, but the crack is there– and got a little wider now with the rebuilding of the Moon Market which is a Metaphor I Am Sure You All Realize. So I am hoping that this crack in Jun’s proverbial dam will open up in the months to come.

Pick another character (or the same character if you only have one) and talk a little about where you WANT them to go. What are your plans for them going into the new year? 

So hard to pick if only because spoilers lol. I think… Pip in a lot of ways has had a quieter year (for him) and I definitely want to refocus on some of his plots going into next year. I have some ideas that I’ve not really gotten around to when it comes to Amy and Maggie and so next year might be a good idea to tackle that! 

Also, spoiler I guess but idk i have talked about it to a few people so i dont care lol, I do want him to direct his own play. That feels so majorly important because it’s seizing control of the narrative and getting to decide his own fate! I think there’s so much fun to be had for Director Pip and one can hope I have enough creative energy to really see it through, because I do want to have him adapt something probably, and make it like, queer and edgy and probably over the top and hilarious in the way that only Pip Seville can do. I will work on when the best time is for this, we’ll see. Stay tuned. 

Meanwhile, one can HOPE that he makes some like emotional headway lolol but i probably shouldn’t promise anything. We’ll make several attempts to grow Pip emotionally. I do kinda wanna… shake up the status quo… wink. 

Pick a thread or a plot that you’re proud of and talk about why you loved it. 

I will shout out my entire Murder Plot lol. This was definitely a bucket list item for me and Snow. I wrote on last year’s questionnaire or goals or something that I wanted to do more necromancy with her this year, perhaps even something darker, and I believe brutally murdering John Cunningham her old necromancy teacher counts!

 I loved this plot because it combined both fantasy and contemporary elements, which I love to do. I also love to bring people together, and so I liked finding roles for Wolf, Gem, and Ting-Ting. And on a very very self-indulgent level, I wanted to write horror! I enjoyed playing with those details and creating that atmosphere, and I just really wanted to murder someone using their own bones and so i did lmfao.

And I am also proud of the fact that I wrote a bunch of one-shots and stuff this year. I think I’m unfortunately a very long-winded writer who also thinks conceptually about things, which can be a good thing but also leads me to not writing certain one-shots or tasks because in my mind if I can’t do like a 10k fully realized narrative, what is the point?? But this year, I wrote and published a few things anyway. So I’m going to Kudos myself bc I really am proud of these things. 

Penny’s Lessons Series: personally i like the format of this. I like the idea of taking a word and exploring it from multiple angles!! I was inspired a lot by the one chapter in Mara Wilson’s memoir, where she tracks her views of religion and god throughout her life. Part One: Name Part Two: Father Part Three: Bad 

Karen’s The Door Is Open: I am increasingly finding value in writing in the first person and Karen unlocked for me while I wrote their postcards to family, and later, to their MAFIA friends. It is what gave me so many hcs about them– how they have swynlake au dreams; that they design postcards; their general artistic interests lol. OFC this piece also incorporates more traditional prose– i am a girly who loves her mixed media. But yeah, I worked hard on it and i think it’s a pretty good character study of a young Karen!! 

Next, I’m going to shout out some things very generally because honest to GOD, when I am writing my paras, so many times they are my favorite paras of the moment lol. 

Ashleigh’s Last Arc (Dreams Come True, Annaleigh’s Goodbye, Kidnapping Evangeline) 

The Loud Bell + Acheron Song Fest (always a good challenge and very emotional too!!) Tiny Dancer Goodbye ugh 

Snowbell demon summoning duh 

Everything Juno, duh 

Penny’s entire Hollywood arc bc she is my special girl– shoutout to Tenny break-up also 

The dumb ass Phinnip Frenchy Fight of the Summer

The Entire Darling Arc as well– especially my John ‘task’ where he had to assemble a living family tree! Matcha goodbye! Ugh! 

There’s definitely more i rly do love all my threads but i wrote like 800 this year probably. 

In terms of your own writing, identify 1-3 things you love to write about (metaphors? Sibling relationships? Physical description?) and talk about why you enjoy it! 

Sorry that these are gonna be pretentious it is my fairy talent i fear…

Posthumanism or transhumanism or perhaps just sheer Wildness. Sorry i did warn u all. But I think the reason that I love rping fairies and then gravitated very strongly to Penny is that I like to imagine brand new modes of living and thinking beyond that of the human. Like, what does the world look like when you’re 3 inches tall, and money is a foreign concept to you? Or like, how would your BRAIN develop if you were literally taught concepts through the eyes of a poodle? I will acknowledge that from the start, this is a losing battle. I am a human, raised with all my human assumptions and biases, and so everything I ever create will inevitably be colored by that. But I LIKE to try. I like the experiment, and the challenge. It is so fun to me to try to catch myself out and unpack my own perspective and really really try to see the world another way (hence the Penny series), and although I will fail, oftentimes I discover new things about humanity, or at least my own humanity, in the process. if u read this paragraph congrats its foreshadowing, and now a quote from jack halberstam on the subject: "Definitions of wildness will jostle with another for classificatory dominance, and just as quickly as formulations of the wild emerge, they may just as easily recede into babble. We will journey from bewilderment to chaos, from weeds to wandering, from the will to wilderness; we will be in the wild but not imagine ourselves to be of it; we will be guided by unhinged children, poets, animals, and wild thinkers. We will think ourselves wild too and then question the 'we,' the 'wild,' and everything in between."

Humor: anyway enough critical theory how about some LAUGHS! Yes, I just love supremely silly things. The sillier and goofier the better. For me, the most fun drama is not so much rooted in angst but like, embarrassment and misunderstanding and silliness, so yeah I think I definitely enjoy doing that kind of thing and probably why a lot of my characters (see: Karen and Pip) also use humor to process all negative things in their lives lol.

Image Systems: every year this is on my questionnaire without fail sorry about it. But yeah it’s my bread and freakin butter yall. I pick up characters, sometimes exclusively, to write in a new image system. That’s right, I just think to myself “Well, gosh, how fun would it be to have all these new metaphors attached to WIND and FLIGHT and AIR and BREATH and WEATHER” (to use Nemo as an example) and then I get that character, thank u! In a way it goes back to point one, though in a way more broad sense of like, I like to think in new ways and image systems are a wonderful doorway into a person’s mind who has experiences that I don’t have. 

What major updates have your characters gone through this year? (For example: 

beginning/ending a relationship, moving, starting a new job, adopting a pet, etc). Think if it as anything you would have put in the #character-updates channel. If you have a pinned post, consider adding these updates so everyone is aware of them in the future.

Berlioz: Berlioz became a teacher! Then he said fuck being a teacher and quit being a teacher! He’s grown closer with Jenny, gotten more confident and sure in what he wants, and has started looking outside of Swynlake for the next step in his life and marriage. <3 he has self-actualized good for him

Hades: got married a THIRD TIME!! Helped return his children to the future! Got kicked out of being mayor and started working at Queen’s Boutique!

Merida: discovered their brother is a MEDIUM! Many fights with Elinor. Helped nurse Elinor back to health after gunshot. Embraced being nonbinary and changed their pronouns!

Nemo: continued to readjust to life as a uni student! Put on a summer showcase with Ashlee and said goodbye to her. <3 He’s been working hard on choreo and balancing fairy duties/uni duties, got Luca to join the volleyball team, and ofc dealt with drama about his mother’s investigation reopening. Plus, Marlin is dating now, yikes!

Jun: got a secret penpal, opened up to secret penpal, discovered penpal was Lo, fell for Lo, watched his father’s store get totally destroyed brutally, launched a redesign/expansion of market, continued to do nothing about crush on Lo

Pip: got into a relationship with Jeremy and helped Jeremy come out!!!!! Lived a terribly disappointing summer as Frenchy, then lived an equally disappointing fall as part of the Distinguished Gentlemen. Filled his existential void with new projects with Build a Brand, rebranded SSIC into SPF. Continued to have weird relationships with most men in his life

Amity: prepared for uni in the fall, got Lilith to sponsor her for the magick grand prix, broke up with Riley, got super depressed, reconnected with Willow but has yet to apologize, series of hook-ups (most infamously with Jenny Marsh Foxworth) annnnd helped defeat an evil sentient plant hybrid.

Snow: broke up with Bruce, started dating Tom, part of Isa’s drama-filled bach weekend, accidentally unleashed demons into Swynlake because she was threatened by Eboshi’s arrival, then she had to deal with someone blackmailing the inn and it turns out that was her old necromancy teacher who she then accidentally killed to avoid being killed herself!!! Necromancy revealed to: Gem, Snow, Ting-Ting. Against all odds, still dating Tom. oh my gosh she’s a shitshow

Penny: brought HOLLYWOOD TO SWYNLAKE!!! Starred in Olive Bright, Pigeoneer! Bit her producer! Quit the movie! Quit acting! Enrolled in school! Catfished Tanya! Accidentally made Pip jealous by getting along with Jeremy! Went to NYC for Thanksgiving! Also a shitshow!

Eboshi: brought IRONTOWN TO SWYNLAKE!!! Kicked out Hades, closed the forest, shut down Chapter Three. Is now secretly training with her long lost ancestor Ashitaka and wrestling with her internalized anti-magick attitude.

Karen: they JUST got here. Done practically nothing besides squabble with their mother and flirt with various good-lookin’ bitches up and down Swynlake. Watch out suckers, 2024’s gonna be their year!

Talk about your dash reply style and your Discord reply style! (And if applicable, also your doc reply style). What do you like about each type of interaction? What is something you feel is difficult? Do you have preferences regarding how many times you’re tagged per day, or do you prefer for your replies to be queued for a certain amount of time?

Generally speaking, I do not hold threads nor do I want threads held for me. This is blanket permission: REPLY AS MUCH AS U WANT!!! The only time this doesn’t apply is when I travel, then I usually ask people to reply once a day or something, just because I might miss things on the dash and then it’ll slip through the cracks. Otherwise, my rp style is just to reply every single day to as many threads as I’d like! It’s really just that simple. I try to make sure each one of my partners gets at least one reply and we go from there. 

On the individual methods of rping.

Dash: love it. Call me old school but its my preference. I like having the record of things on there. I’m game to go back and forth as long as I’ve completed my daily amount of threads for the day. Can dash all day babyyyy

Discord: like it. Def love jumping on ol discord to do an event here and there! But once the notif disappears, I am infamously bad at forgetting it exists. Im so sorry. U do have to tap me in these instances. 

Doc: hate it. Jk jk but– weirdly enough i am getting worse at remember these??? I dunno what’s up with me, it just throws me off my groove. So I prefer to only do docs when absolutely necessary, like for surprises and stuff like that–stuff that i KNOW is high priority, or else it slips from my head. 

And now, a wishlist! Jot down a few themes or stories or genres etc that you want to maybe pursue in the upcoming year! (i.e. a good ol’ fashion forbidden romance, maybe you want to dig deep into racial identity etc) This doesn’t have to necessarily be attached to any characters or stories you have now– it’s just meant to help you see for yourself what kind of stories call to your heart.

Villain hijinks for Karen!

More dating and uni drama for Penny and Amity specifically!

MORE FAIRY STUFF!!! The fact we have Clarion is amazing. I’m looking forward to doing more fairy plots in and outside of the hollow. I won’t even front with yall, I am looking at several fairy muses. Idk if they will come through in the end, but I do hope I get another fairy character because I enjoy them so much :) 

I am once again asking for a tournament arc like in an anime. I really just have to make this happen myself dont i 

Sports Anime™ as well. I have athletic characters but I have never really pursued that kind of thing as a serious plot so maybe we can finally make it happen with magick grand prix or i’ll find another avenue lolol.  

OPTIONAL: Why do you RP?

I say it every year and it remains true: writing for writing sake! I just love that I can be inspired here, be silly here, try things out here, and it’s all because I love it and love my characters and love the people. Writing is so fun when you do it with friends! It continues to be true for me.

Also: deeply important to my mental health! I start every day with RP and I think being able to check even these little paras off my mental to do list really sets me up for success lol. I’m glad my brain works this way honestly. Not to be too capricorn up in here but I’m glad i take rp too seriously, I’m glad I treat it like part of my job, I’m glad that it feels productive and that makes me feel good about myself like bla bla bla capitalism or whatever but sometimes work is good esp work that you assign yourself or whatever lol.

[privatejoker]

idk i guess in the imagination of patriarchy, which exists to ensure the power of the few at a particular intersection of classes, the fact that there could be a man who is capable of enduring misogyny and therefore can not access the benefits of his being a man because of it...

that his manhood is not power that is won as his birthright, but a part of his being that grants him fulfillment in spite of his oppression and leaves him, in fact, with less power !specifically! for being a man (a trans man, exempt from the abstract social power of being cis), that might be a nightmare worthy of repression, erasure, extermination. because that is proof it doesn't have to be like this. it needs you to believe otherwise so it can exist without question.

it fears us because we are men. and the image of a man brutalized by the misogyny that it perpetrates is a terrifying possibility. and living fully realized as trans men makes us necessarily and permanently distinct from cis men for a reason (that is, we are something it abhors out of its twisted self-preservation. its fetishization of power. we exist outside of the system of gender it perpetuates in order to sustain itself. hence the category "trans")

why not let us be centered and reliable reporters from the frontlines of our experiences? why the standard of moral perfection and measured emotion? what gives? are we hysterical, too angry? of fucking course we are!

why not take us at our word when we say we're suffering and that it's only because our suffering has been made thoroughly invisible and mundane that you cannot count it. we are easily and quickly robbed of our personhood by misogynistic violence for trying to exist as trans men, disappeared into institutions and the slow death of interpersonal abuse, detransition, forced birth, medical neglect, countless thoughtless cruelties that are so ingrained no one notices them. it happens! i see it happen!! because it happens to me!! how can you use us then, our being isolated and desperate people looking for safety in the wrong places and doing harm as yet more evidence that we do not deserve to be understood on the terms we know to be true to ourselves? no one can hear our pain and that becomes part of the very old story of abuse. other people pretend they hear us to hurt us. this is a story seemingly everyone in my life knows. why blame us for falling into abuse because we are not perfect victims? because victims often also do harm? is your view of abuse so idealistic? no one has to bear it, but don't pour that poisonous rhetoric into our proverbial well.

if you say "this is more of the same that happens to all of us" YES! if you can't care, if it's too much, don't try and make me feel small and unworthy of being recognized as a person being stamped out because you've judged it so

. more of the same. that happens to other people too, and they matter more because i find them more easy to understand. you're only collateral.

at this point just leave me alone.

i wouldn't want to have all of the vicissitudes, the complexity of my life, the things that make me a human fucking being, used to further isolate and control a group of people i belong to. no one does. that is cruel in every case. why not here? what the fuck is all of this moral absolutism? where are my friends? dead or too scared to live.

perhaps we cannot see ourselves and our relationships with each other fully in anything that cisgender people have invented. perhaps we will have to suffer the loss of the impossibility of that validation in order to honestly relate to each other and be accountable witnesses, supporters, lovers of each other's particular experiences. can we see each other not through a complementarianist or negating lens, but as adjacent and deeply interrelated people? let's not accept the conditions of a way of being that was defined explicitly to exclude us.

[nongnaos]

So kiss me on the mouth and set me free

But please, don't bite

[doebt]

also ik i be answering asks on here and stuff and acting normal but i am super isolating myself in like actual intimate friendships rn and i feel like crap so bad abt it...just bc im answering asks and being funny on the internet doesnt mean im not SO depressed...i hate things being expected of me