#idk why thinking about this made me so emotional
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
snowbellecity · 10 days ago
Text
A Brief Future
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ship: AZ x Nerine Summary: While locked away in beneath Lumiose City, AZ begins to daydream of the people closest to him. (Or: AZ thinks about his ex(???)girlfriend comforting him while he's jailed 😭)
Written in one sitting after the idea came to me. I haven't done ANY edits, so excuse any typos. 🙇🏾‍♀️ ~1133 words.
[ alternate link ] [ neocities link tba ]
Tumblr media
Somewhere distant, he could hear the sound of a ticking clock. It echoed softly throughout the otherwise empty chamber. He pulled his thin jacket tighter around his body, desperate to keep in any warmth. Several times now he’d banged his fist against the walls of his enclosure, only to be met with silence.  When his hands wavered near its bars, he could feel the electricity coursing through. He would not be terribly injured if he gripped them, but it would not benefit him, either. He remained still. He was certain that his Golurk could break the bars once it recovered, but escaping from there would be another issue. The layout to the underground lab was a winding labyrinth, and complex puzzles laid in waiting at every turn. While he had no doubt of his ability to solve these puzzles … he found himself intimidated by the presence of spending panels that laid beneath the floors. He did not do well with dizziness.
His urgency had not left him. He knew it was only a matter of time before Team Flare’s leader returned to make away with his key. Destroying it was the best way to prevent it from being stolen. And yet, each time he tried to will himself to finally commit that act, condemning his machine for the final time… he paused. His hands froze. Feeling its weight in his palms sickened him. The chain it wore around his neck made his body heavy, as if he had spent an eternity trudging through mud. But he could not bring himself to destroy it; this heavy burden was something he deserved, and to release it would be to release himself from his bonds.  He could not do that. Not until he was worthy.
I am selfish. He slumped against the wall of his cage. Even when presented with such a horrific possibility, I am selfish. 
His back dragged against the cell wall until he was sat on the floor, his gangly legs barely contained within. The waiting was intolerable. With nothing else to do,  he closed his eyes, and allowed his mind to wander.
An image came to him: somewhere outside, hidden amongst the clouds, Floette was flying above the city. The wind was gentle with her small body, carrying her far. She would linger for a moment above Geosenge Town, a place she knew well; her childhood had been spent within an ancient village that once dwelled upon the same land. She would wonder for a moment about what lay beneath the earth, and grow concerned when she witnessed strange men in red suits idling about, clearly waiting for something. I promise you I won’t allow this to happen again. Curiosity and concern guides her towards the graves that lay just outside the town. I want to protect you this time. 
Elsewhere, his younger brother was sat at a window. Xanthos peered out towards that same sky, watching the weather change; the encroaching grey of a storm. He held a thread in one hand, and a needle in the other. The bundle of fabric in his lap looked like nothing in particular at the moment, but its true shape would soon be revealed. Still, he could not seem to focus. His eyes flitting away from the window, to his work, to the window again. Something crackled in the air, some power that was at once strange and familiar.  He stood, and with no particular destination in mind, began walking. It’s been awhile, hasn’t it?  As the wind picked up, his golden earrings swayed. It still unsettled him how closely he resembled their mother when he wore her jewelry.  I wonder if I will see you again soon.
The image of a pink haired girl came to him next. Seeing her, he jolted  from his half-awake state.
“I have no desire to see her.” he spoke the words out loud, hoping to reaffirm it to himself. His voice creaked as if his throat were full of rust. He began to repeat it, but paused. He buried his face in his hands, and allowed the thought to come to him.
Nerine. The last time he saw her, he had allowed his frustrations to get the better of him.  He hadn’t forgotten the way she looked at him before he left, her eyes wet with tears despite the fury they held. He regretted his lack of sympathy most of all— they were so similar to one another in the end. He thought of the way she would grip his arm a little too tightly, and would at times speak too loudly. He enjoyed it about her. When he saw the strange quirks she had, he knew she was being her most authentic, and that is when they were happiest together. She was likely dressed differently now. Perhaps something elegant, more mature. Considering the time of day (assuming, at least, that he’d not last track), she was likely at work within Lumiose’s historical district. He imagined her for a moment, taking a brush to an artifact that had been found deep below the earth. Her gaze is intensely focused on the task at hand, and no amount of noise is able to distract her. … It was strange to think that she was so close, and yet so far away. Did she know what was happening right now? That her dear friend was here, trapped somewhere beneath the city? Briefly, he thought of her arms wrapping around him. I was so worried for you, she says. You must have been so lonely. 
Her face pressed against his chest as she held him. He reached to touch her, brushing his fingers through her hair. You keep punishing yourself…and I do understand. To free yourself from that weight… you’re so used to it by now, the idea must be scary. But it’s time now, isn’t it…? You’ve spent long enough repenting. So I ask of you… for the sake of this world, and for yourself, too… won’t you finally let go?
Footsteps echoing just outside the chamber awoke AZ. His fist had wound itself tightly around his key without his knowledge. He pulled it with all his might— the ancient metal of its chain snapped, and fell from around his neck. It clattered onto the floor below, leaving only AZ, and his key. He stared at it, mouth half ajar, and nearly did not realize when a mess of red hair stood just before his prison cell. 
He stood, towering over a face that reminded him far too much of his youth, with his key held tight against his chest. He would not be able to destroy it before Lysandre took it from him— of that, he was certain. But he would not go down without a fight.
13 notes · View notes
astralleywright · 1 year ago
Text
Marisha's comment about how Relvin is one of those parents who ended up with a child they didn't know what to do with really gets to the heart of it, i think, and is such a good way to tie the fantasy element of Imogen's powers into things more tangible. because there are really a lot of parents like Relvin in real life, who have a child with the person they're happily married to and never expect to be left alone with the kid. or who expect a ""normal"" (read: cisgender and heterosexual, able-bodied, relatively neurotypical and obedient, etc.) child and end up with one who's ""difficult"", who demands more or different of them than what they believe they signed up for. and that's not entirely entitlement on a parent's part- many cultures' common frameworks of parenthood and child-rearing do not include space for these children. it makes sense that Relvin was unprepared. raising any child is difficult, and raising a child whose needs you were never taught how to accommodate, who the world is so cruel to, is even more challenging.
and yet. and yet, the person who bears the brunt of the harm in these situations will always be the child. they're the ones who have to live every moment of how the world treats them, without the support that their parent is supposed to provide them. and when asked to care for his child even when she turned out to be ""difficult"", Relvin couldn't. for entirely sympathetic reasons, of course. he tried, in his own way. i don't think he's a bad guy. but he's let his own broken heart bleed onto his daughter. he hasn't been able to give her much else.
158 notes · View notes
imminent-danger-came · 2 months ago
Text
I really am so sad I don't like isat. The themeing was very good
#isat critical#like the ''we must be prepared for the destruction change will bring'' shit came back so hard at the end#specifically with loop context/destroying themself to become a star. to become loop#and the fact that when siffrin deviated from the script. finally changed the way he performed his play (act 5)#that's when it broke#and he had to ''destroy'' his friends to do it. In a way. When all he knew how to do was fight/snapped#and it's like. of COURSE loop is how siffrin was able to escape. Because escaping the loop meant siffrin had to save/love themself#value their own life and not just their friend's#to realize that they couldn't do it on their own. that they needed their friends to help them out of it. they needed support#that being loved was more than saying the right thing or doing the right quest#isat is so strong structurally/thematically/plot-wise and I personally despise it comedically/character/dialogue writing-wise#and the whole game is dialogue. like isat is the most conflicting experience I've had in a while#Where I hate actually reading the dialogue and I don't like the character writing but I love thinking about it's themes. like hello#that sucks i'd rather have it just be one or the other#*aaravos voice* you must live life in the grey#Like the king and siffrin foil is my beloved. And I absolutely adore how the King's story was ended.#But I dislike siffrin as a character and I also hate most of the game's execution#like every emotional beat is made anticlimactic by the lack of subtext and the constant repetition#(literally laughed out loud at ''my house my country my HOME!'' like we said the same thing 3 times babe. the whole game is like this)#isat has a huge case of ''we wanted conflict but didn't give characters any real flaws to be able to do it''#idk. Everyone repeated over and over that they don't touch siffrin because he's uncomfortable with it. Over and over.#And yet he's still like. ''It's because Isa finds you disgusting'' Huh. Idk if we did the work for Siffrin to come to that conclusion#Like literally Isa never does anything to even imply that. All he's ever done is sing Sif's praises. makes me feel crazy#Like ''oh he views everyone else as just a character!! a pawn!'' except no he doesn't. he barely did in act 5#and even in act 5 he's horrified at how he treated odile. like. we did not commit to that. I got sad lukewarm flowey#Do not even get me started on odile's ''I think it's so cute you trapped yourself in time and went crazy because you love us''. Girl#Like no we can. We can commit. Siffrin did bad things and going crazy was bad. Odile wasn't wrong to be upset.#Like why not 'That was terrible of you to say. But I won't leave you—you still love people who make mistakes- because what else is there?'#like we got so close with the worst loop being the permanent loop. Siffrin is still loved no matter what. But idk. Felt brushed off#oh isat...you strange being...
7 notes · View notes
cloudcountry · 1 year ago
Text
i love how i come back to twst post about how much i hate idia for a few days and then leave again it's such a cycle
18 notes · View notes
jackass-jones · 9 months ago
Text
The way akishinji and ashbella both have dramatic coma scenes and dramatic shot through the heart scenes like we’ve gotta stop meeting like this 😩
#the klock keeps ticking#theres actually so many similarities between these two pairings which is. probably why theyre my favorite pairings ever#like theres shinji and ashton they are guys with long hair/crabby/trying to be cool but theyre lame/emo/fingerless gloves/repressed#care so so deeply about their friends and break their fucking backs trying to protect them but are terrible with expressing their affection#with words so they come off as uncaring and rude/associates with shady people/buried beneath lies they tell to their friends/hate themselves#plans to die alone because they think they dont matter/bad at sincerity/has it bad like really bad for aki/bella#they love aki/bella for their kindness and sincerity and they feel theyre unworthy of it and that theyre a burden#gets [REDACTED] and held by aki/bella#then the aki isabella similarities are like older sibling who works too hard/stubborn/bad at reading social cues#too good for this world/will punch their friends if needed/bad at self care/emotionally repressed/kinda clumsy and silly#when they find out about shinji/ash trying to get themselves killed they get very angry and emotional and have a big confrontation#lose an important family member despite all their efforts to keep them safe/have trouble understanding their own feelings#especially if those feelings are romantic#and like both couples love to argue and bicker but care for each other so deeply its annoying lol and theres lots of miscommunication#cuz god theyre bad at having feelings and expressing them to each other and theyre long term friends#the coma scenes and the shot through the heart scenes are waaaaay better on the ashbella end though thats a given#since the letter has significantly better writing good god lol#like the emotions are very real and they fuck me up so bad then p3 its like. aki cries for 3 seconds and thats all you get cuz god forbid#a character in this series get to like. be written in a satisfying way lol#the letter just works so much better like akishinji would benefit from those scenes but ashbella needs like no work aksjks#plus ‘this is how it should be’ is a line that i fucking hate cuz of how its treated afterwards meanwhile fucking#‘you are going to die ashton frey. and you are going to die alone’ ‘she got one thing wrong though. i did not die alone’#that shit gets me so bad every single time ITS SO GOOD and such a slap to the face#realizing that youve made a grave error and youre actually loved deeply and matter a lot right as youre dying and feeling relieved#cuz you may be dying. BUT YOU DIDNT DIE ALONE YOU DIED BEING LOVED AND CARED FOR#like idk at least his death is able to mean something for him as a character its still a moment of growth#shinji doesnt learn anything he fully dies believing he deserves it and that everyone will benefit from it#god awful writing right there boooo
0 notes
carmenlire · 1 year ago
Text
if I can be honest lol I feel like shit and lowkey like everyone hates me because I'm so annoying:/
#i literally havent told anyone except my therapist about exactly why the past few months have been so bad#and i had plans Wednesday with friends i havent seen since November#and i was going to tell them#i finally felt ready to#and they both canceled#and another friend hasnt responded to messages grom earlier#and i know theyre busy but with the cancelation its just making me feel like i suck and i should just never try to be vulnerable ever again#plus Another gc is where some friends were planning out 30th bday trip and onr of the friends#changed the gamr plan to us 4 girls to ... 3 couples and me#and im... actually really hurt? l#that shed think an acceptable alternative to a girls trip (that we havent done since 2016) is 3 girls with their husbands.. and me#and i know things have been terrible for months and the complete burnout and emotional turmoil isnt helping my reaction#but i just feel like all my friends hate me and i have no purpose in their life and they dont wanna see me or care about me at all#i know thats dramatic and juvenile but i am too tired to be emotionally mature#i cant believe i didnt tell anyone for months#and i was finally ready to#and both friends canceled dinner because they double booked even though we made these plans 4 weeks ago#idk i just realized this morning that ive isolated a lot the past few months#and it's almost all because of what's been going in and to have friends bail just when i was resdy to confide in them...#obviously they have no way of knowing this dinner Meant something to me but i vant help the regressive takeaway that i was right and i#should never be vulnerable because my friends don't care#anf i don't deserve (?) to have have that support system#me
1 note · View note
winwintea · 3 months ago
Text
dreamies meeting their kid for the first time + as a parent
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
GROUP ↬ ot7 dream x reader (ft. their child)
TAGS/WARNINGS ↬ some angst, LOTS OF FLUFF MY TOOTH IS LITERALLY ROTTING, spider-mark agenda is real, the child is sometimes a cockblock, haechan does some weird michael jackson-sherlock holmes roleplay idk it made sense in my head, jaemin going on shopping sprees, chenle never loses, ji... is ji.... (poor baby)
AUTHOR’S NOTE ↬ everyone say thank you to @https-lvesick for getting me on that baby fever stuff... like i hate children but i love children. iykwim... anyways this is meeting their kid for the first time, but i can't come up with reasons why they were separated so you fill in the blanks. probably angsty reasons i love angst.
Tumblr media
Mark Lee
when you come back through that door with a child holding your hand, it’s him you meet first again, and the tears are already glossing his eyes over before you can say anything.
literally has no words when you smile at him gently, saying it’s his.
mark swallows nervously, before making his way to the both of you, holding the two of you in his arms for only god knows how long.
“i.. can’t wait to live my life with you both, my love,” he mumbles into your hair, ears slightly tinged, only causing you to laugh at his adorable antics.
as a father, he isn’t very strict, and he isn’t all that good in child-rearing, either.
but he tries! give him some slack — you have to keep reminding yourself of this when you see your child holding a sword?! 
and of course mark was in his halloween costume. typical.
“baby.. i can explain,” mark says calmly when you first find the two of them
well actually, three; it seems haechan was in on this little practice, though he quickly bolted when he saw you. good strategy.
“엄마, papa said he was iron man! he teached me how to be a superhero!” your child exclaims, flailing the sword around excitedly as your gaze only darkens.
“well, you see, i meant spider-man, but—” his words die down when he sees your unimpressed face practically dripping with murderous intent.
mark slowly kneels down to whisper something you couldn't make out to your child. the little one nods seriously, slowly putting down the weapon.
then, as seconds pass, mark immediately hoists your child up in his arms, running out of the room as both his laughter and your child’s squeals echo throughout the halls.
“mark min-hyung lee, you are so dead!” you scream, running after them.
“3, 2, 1 — I COULD DO THIS ALL DAY!” the two of them scream back, before bursting into laughter. they’re always in sync. It’s exasperating.
but you love it anyways
Huang Renjun
when you meet him at the door, there's a flurry of emotions clear on renjun's face, but his smile says it all.
“is it too much to say i’ve been waiting for you this whole time?”
regrets the fact that he wasn’t able to be a part of his child’s life for the first few years, literally becomes wrapped around your little one’s finger because of it.
so adorable and happy that he’s blessed with your lovely child, always smiling when he thinks of them.
literally makes the other members question whether or not they want a child too.
bonding time is painting of course!
usually ends up with all three of you cramped in the shower, you scrubbing furiously at the sticky paint on their skin.
“i’m sorry for having you do this all the time,” renjun's soft voice makes you forget why you were mad in the first place tbh.
massages your shoulders from behind you, causing your fingers to halt in their journey of rubbing some stubborn blue paint off your child.
“it’ll take more than that if you wanna make it up to me,” you hum, leaning back into his chest and gazing into his eyes.
your lips were just about to meet, when —
“ma, i'm not clean yet!”
damn. cockblocked by your own child.
you groan, renjun laughing as he picks up the pouting child with their arms crossed.
“don’t give 妈妈 too much of a hard time, okay?” he never forgets to take care of you above all.
Lee Jeno
when you walk through that door once more, nervously telling jeno that this child is his, you’re afraid of his reaction.
and when you finally gather the courage to do it? his jaw drops and he can’t stop staring at you nor the child and you have to help him sit and calm down.
“아빠?” your child asks, staring up at the still slightly panicked jeno as you hold your breath.
he stares for a moment, mouth wide, before finally, finally smiling, albeit a little awkward and rough around the edges. “yes, little one?”
very new to this whole parenting thing and can barely do anything without asking you first, so he feels bad quite often for having to lean on you so much.
plus he barely knows how to handle a sobbing child, nor can he entertain the child very well,
but you find that the both of them are quite content in each other’s presence as is. so that's a plus !
you'll usually find them in jeno's room together, while you need jeno to watch your child while you go out for an errand or something.
but when you see jeno, well, he starts to look ethereal as the sun shines through the windows in his room.
then, a gentle smile gracing his face as he stares at his sleeping child.
jeno utters your name, causing you to look up, only to find him tracing circles around your child’s soft skin. “딸,” he rasps out, cracking a bleary eye open and gripping their wrist softly. Then, he smiles, all sorts of soft and lovely and.. unguarded.
“You two.. are the best things that have happened to me.”
Lee Donghyuck
haechan tries swallowing back the lump in his throat when he sees you standing in front of that damned door, though to no avail as a tear slips.
starts full-on crying when you say that you’re back for good and that the child is his. it's okay, let it out hyuck. <3
“ah, crying like that on our first meeting… don’t you think your fath — i’m a bit embarrassing?” he asks, sniffling as he tries to muster a smile through his tears.
your child giggles, eyes crinkling while grinning. “no! mommy told me a whooooole lot about you, daddy!”
you have to intervene at this point to stop him from sobbing again.
haechan wastes no time in making up for what he’s missed, so he's definitely going to spoil this child every second that he can.
you’d always find the two of them either going out shopping or messing about at home
also probably just chilling in the comforts of his room, doing god knows what.
one day you were curious, so you peeked through a tiny crack of the open door.
genuinely concerned at what you saw.
was that a... trenchcoat on your child? the two of them were engaged in conversation as haechan started nodding with a serious look on his face.
“so, mj, do you think waffles make mummy happier?” your child asks, holding his magnifying glass up like a mic in front of haechan's face.
mj???
haechan strokes his chin for a moment, before answering, “seeing her reaction when we gave her the ones we bought yesterday, i dee-hee duce they do, sherlock!”
sherlock...?
“good deduck – deduction, mj! i thought so too.”
you can't help but snort as haechan grabs his crotch and poses while high fiving your child.
as stupid as this was, your heart literally melts. the two are far too cute for you, you having to calm yourself before walking in with the widest smile on your face. dorks. 
Na Jaemin
“i was hoping you’d be back, my dear.” his perfunctory smile is so smug that sometimes you just want to punch him in the face. “with a lovely little thing in hand.”
“Your lovely little thing,” you say gently, trying to ignore your anger. you were here to show your child to jaemin. jaemin looks at the two of you with surprise, the curves of his mouth inching upwards.
hey jaemin wasn't trying to be possessive... cause that's weird. but the way you emphasized the word 'your' made his breath hitch. we can unpack that later though.
for now, na jaemin is a certified sugar daddy
jaemin is wrapped around the little one’s finger, his rotten spoiling being the effect of not being in your child’s life for a good while, and, of course, his indispensable regret for having you come back to him.
you asked jeno the whereabouts of your lover and your child, only for him to give you the look, responding that they were out yet again, and are probably not coming back without a few shopping bags in hand.
okay something needed to be done about this. so you decided to conduct a harmless experiment.
placing a few coins on one side of his desk, a toy in the middle, and a beloved fruit on the side. after explaining to him that it’s to see what your child’s fate would be — picking between fortune, fun, and, well, snacks, you think — he simply leans back, interest shining in those eyes of his.
but your child pushes all these away in a second, opting to hug the wide-eyed man on the soft armchair behind the desk.
“and what.. does this mean, ma chérie?” fuck him and the words he's picked up from traveling abroad. but jaemin looked honestly confused as his hands slowly wrap around your child’s.
you smile softly, “isn’t it obvious, silly? the little rascal loves you more than anything.”
he laughs. he doesn't get it. preparing for yet another shopping spree. why do you even try at this point?
Zhong Chenle
oh my god. when he first sees you after years with a child, his child, grasping your hand, chenle has to literally take a quick second to calm down cause he’s so angry.
no, not at you, of course, he would never. but at himself.
he wasn’t there for his child, for you, and god, even if he were, would he have been a good father?
“Y/ — 甜心,” he starts, running his fingers through his already messy bed-head hair and staring at you with eyes that practically scream "please hug me, i'm insecure"
“how am i supposed to take care of a child when i couldn’t even take care of you?”
but don't worry, after many reassuring words and warm hugs, chenle's finally okay and back to his normal self, holding your child up and giggling.
maybe this was a wrong idea cause now you have to take care of a manchild and a child.
is surprisingly very gentle with your child because he honestly doesn’t know what the hell he’s doing. (just because he has a nephew does not mean he knows how to parent a child.)
also very grounded and doesn’t fall for cute little tricks as much, so out of the dreamies, he’d end up becoming one of the better fathers.
also cause he never loses. and no way is he gonna lose an argument with a child.
“不行。” “爸爸, pleaaase?” “no. 不可以。”
chenle seemed to be holding a chocolate bar high above his head, steely gaze fixed on your young child trying to ignore their pleading puppy dog eyes.
“妈妈说 no chocolate, right?” your heart warms when you realize he remembered you scolding your child yesterday, though you can’t help but to feel a little bad.
“chenle,” you say, both their heads turning towards you. “how about you give the little baby some chocolate and we can eat the eggs i just made in the kitchen?”
the way both their eyes shine almost identically is so fucking adorable.
Park Jisung
??!?>!?!>?>!?@#?>(*#(@*(*#!?!@?
“that’s… mine??” “what?” “… it?” “it?” “the.. child?”
actually malfunctions.
jisung is very flustered, for lack of better terms. he was always considered the baby maknae of dream, but his own child? lord, help him.
you... him.... the baby... it or they.. came out of you??? what.
gets awfully flushed whenever he’s carrying his child around the building. everyone tries to stop and coo at the baby, + chenle and haechan have decided to make his life a living hell cracking up jokes whenever they can.
jisung is surprisingly good at getting your chaotic child to sleep with his bedtime stories, which are usually all his big yap sessions.
“and did daddy get that bruise on his forehead because he slipped while chasing uncle chenle and uncle haechan?” you question the two of them, wondering what they had been talking about earlier.
your child nods, bright eyes sparkling and grinning, “아빠 also said, ‘get back here, you devilish imbeciles!’”
oh fuck.
your accusatory gaze turns towards jisung, who averts his eyes, holding an ice pack to his bruising forehead, trying to shield himself from possibly getting more bruises.
“i-in my defense, they were—”
“one more time, park jisung, and i’m changing their legal godfathers to the two imbeciles you love and appreciate so so much.”
his eyes widen in shock, “you wouldn’t.”
“try me.”
now jisung is a grumbling mess when the two idiots are around his child, but the lack of chasing them around can be counted as an upgrade, i guess.
Tumblr media
TAGLIST ↬  @lyvhie @aquaphoenixz @ldh0000 @galacticnct @peterm4rker
495 notes · View notes
seresinhangmanjake · 7 months ago
Text
Come Back Together
Benny Cross x reader 
Tumblr media
Summary in bullet points:
Now that Benny is back in your life, he is trying to be a better husband
Benny is insecure about his relationship and a barfight ensues
Reader is pregnant (three months)
Benny does a bit of pining and is emotionally vulnerable
Fluffiness 
Part 2 of Come Back Knockin’
Notes/Warnings: *Spoiler free*, angst and fluff, relationship struggles, physical altercations (fist fight), mention of blood and injury, mention of pregnancy, mention of alcohol, cursing, kissing, happy stuff, typos. I think that’s it. This took me forever to write for some reason and I was weirdly stressed about it. tf is wrong with me, right? Anyway…
Words: alright no one freak out…it’s 4300. Idk why it’s a lot longer than the first part but I always do that. If you’re willing to venture onward, I appreciate it :)
Benny Cross Masterlist
Part 3: Together and More
He stares at you incessantly. Which isn’t out of the ordinary—he used to stare at you all the time—but there’s something else to it now. He stares as if he thinks you’ll disappear the second he takes his eyes off of you. Like you'll slip through his fingers. Ironic, really, since disappearing in the blink of an eye is more his thing. 
“Can I make you something?” he asks, staring at you from his chair while you pull a carton of eggs from the fridge. “You should be sitting instead of me.”
“You don’t know how to cook, Benny,” you state matter-of-factly, turning your back to him as you switch on the stove and set a pan on the lit burner.
Cooking has always been your responsibility. It was one of the things you brought to this relationship. And you liked being the one to keep Benny fed, never chiming in when the other Vandals’ wives and girlfriends mentioned how exhausting it was to satisfy their man’s grumbling stomach. You liked that Benny appreciated you for it. 
Now you wonder if subconsciously you believed that as long as you fed him, he’d stay by your side, regardless of his wild nature. Kind of like a puppy. But Benny Cross is no puppy.
“I should probably learn,” he says. “You know, for the kid.”
You hum, cracking an egg on the edge of the pan. “Maybe you should stick to learning how not to ditch your family,” you retort, and immediately your features twist in a wince.
You can’t believe you let those words out of your mouth. You’d been doing so well at holding in the little jabs and remarks, no matter how hard they’ve pushed at your sealed lips. Not to say a few of them haven’t slipped through in the last month, they have, but each time they did, you received instant punishment in the form of Benny’s heart crumbling right before your eyes.
He’s never tried to make you feel guilty about your slip-ups, but he can’t seem to hide his expressions around you anymore. Ever since Benny returned, he’s been different. Your husband who was once so stoic has untethered his emotions from the piece inside of him that, for years, refused to let them show. His affection is more outward now, but unfortunately, so is his pain. So you made a rule to stop doing that to him; stop catching him off guard with words of hurt during a time of pending forgiveness. What he did was damaging, yes, but it’s unfair to pick at him when he’s been doing everything he can to show you he has value to this family; things he never would have done before. 
He wakes earlier than you to clean the most-used areas of the house—a poorly done job; you still find dust in spaces dust should have easily been wiped up, but he tries. He found work at a mechanic’s shop not too far from the house, and surprisingly, he has yet to complain about it—a decent job was always something he physically and mentally shunned. He got rid of everything in the spare room and has begun painting the walls from the deep brown left over from the prior owners to a soft, light green that matches the baby blanket he brought you. It’s cute, and significantly better than you would have done without him. You would’ve been too stressed to put together a nice nursery.
Benny awkwardly clears his throat, breaking up your thoughts and bringing you back to the present. The lingering discomfort from your snide tone is palpable, heavy, just short of physically formed, and you can’t escape it. 
“I didn’t mean that,” you tell him as you flip the egg. 
The sizzle in the pan is louder as uncooked egg hits the heat, but you can still hear his deep breath, easily picturing the weak smile on his face when he softly says, “It’s ok. I deserve it.”
You’re about to protest, but he doesn’t give you the chance. 
“I was thinkin’ about goin’ to a meeting tonight,” Benny says. “You wanna come with me?”
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Oh…” he says, dejected. “It's been a while since you've been to one. I know you stopped goin’ when I was…away, so I thought…”
You set the spatula down and turn to face him, crossing your arms. “I wasn’t going to go without you. And considering everything, everyone just would have pitied me. I'm sure they still do.”
His blue eyes fall to the tiled floor. You know he hates that such a thought would enter your mind, but it’s not as if you’re capable of stopping it. He put you in a pitiful situation, and were the circumstances placed upon another woman, you would have felt those same feelings for her. 
“No one pities you, baby. I promise,” he says. “They miss you.” His head lifts so he can meet your stare. “But if you don’t want to go then I'll stay here with you. We can watch a movie or somethin’.”
Your eyes widen. “No!” you yelp. Benny’s head jerks back at the sudden outburst and you swallow to buy yourself time to sort your thoughts into words, but the best you come up with is: “You’re right, actually. We should go.”
“But you just–” His brow raises in skepticism. “Are you sure?”
If your options are club meeting surrounded by a large group of people or movie-watching with you and Benny alone, then yes, you are absolutely sure. The movie channels have rallied against you lately. Out of the five times you and Benny have watched a film since he came back, all five have been romances. All of them!
You don’t know if he scours the TV Guide without you noticing or if the television channels have simply rallied against you, but sitting beside your husband who you are trying not to give in to is made all the more difficult when watching Audrey Hepburn fall in love with George Peppard or Cary Grant or Greggory Peck for God's sake. You see them and it makes you forget things. You forget that you’re as upset as you are, and with Benny so close, your heart starts to pound and you can’t focus on anything else. You want to crawl right into his arms, let him hold you and kiss you and take you on the couch after what has felt like an eternity apart. But you can’t do that. It’s too soon. So no movies. 
“Positive,” you nod. 
An easy smile slides onto his face. “Well that’s great, baby. It'll be fun.”
“Yea. Sure.”
“Alright,” he says, standing. “I gotta get to the shop.”
He pauses as he passes by you, and you hold his gaze as he squashes the instinct to press his lips to your forehead. 
You weren’t married to Benny for long before he panicked and left—only a handful of months—but it was long enough for the two of you to develop your own set of rituals. And by the consistency and ease with which Benny performed those rituals, anyone would have assumed they’d been in place for decades. 
A kiss on the forehead after breakfast was one ritual. As was the bedtime cuddling with your leg slotted between his. And the way he’d stare at you in the mirror, his arms crossed and body leaning against the doorframe as he watched you brush your teeth with a grin on his face. 
But the one you miss the most is the hug from behind that you'd receive once he’d decided to come home for the night. He’d circle his arms around your waist and place a kiss on your neck, and then he’d chuckle because he was so determined to sneak up on you and give you a little scare but was never successful. You could feel him before he touched you, you could smell his cologne, but you didn’t want to ruin his fun, so you let him have hope that one day he would finally surprise you. 
Benny blows out a long breath through his nose. “I’ll see you tonight,” he mutters with a brief hint of a smile.
As the front door closes behind him, a carbon smell grabs your attention and you look over your shoulder at your breakfast. It’s charred, inedible, and you don’t even care, you just knock the pan off to the side to keep the house from burning down.
“Well, thank the lord,” Betty’s voice travels across the bar as she and Kathy approach you and Benny. “We weren’t sure we’d ever see you again, honey.”
Kathy draws you into a tight hug that rips you from Benny’s side. “Things have not been the same with you gone,” she says as she leans back, rubbing her hands up and down your arms. She smiles so sweetly and you breathe a sigh of relief. These women were your friends and you feel guilty for abandoning them just because Benny abandoned you. “Come sit.”
“Benny Cross, we are stealin’ your wife,” Betty declares, “And you don't get to whine about it.” There’s a dash of vitriol in her tone that nibbles at your gut and you hope it’s simply an effect of the alcohol she must’ve had prior to your arrival. 
“Oh,” Benny says. You glance at him, at the disappointed look on his face—subtle, but there. He wanted you by his side tonight, but he’s not going to force you to deny their offer. “Ok.”
Kathy and Betty each take one of your hands and lead you to a small rounded table. It’s the centerpiece of the room, and as one of three surrounding it, so are you, unfortunately. As Betty sticks a cigarette in her mouth and Kathy takes a sip of her beer, your eyes scan the low-lit space. 
Stares from the men lining the walls burn your cheeks. You recognize only half of them—the Vets, as they’re known—and they give you their smiles and nods in a ‘welcome back’ gesture, Johnny, in particular, sporting a rare grin.
The others—the Newcomers; out-of-towners who came specifically to join the club—look at you with something else in their eyes. Amusement? Curiosity? They seem to know exactly who you are and enjoy a little too much putting a face to the name. You, however, don’t know a single one of them. They’d arrived shortly before Benny left, and while some faces, those with distinct features, you can recall from nuggets of your memory, you’ve never spoken to them. You never got their names. 
“Why this table?” you ask your friends.
“Best view of the pool table, obviously,” Betty chuckles after snapping Johnny’s lighter shut. She nudges her head in that direction. “Nothin’ wrong with lookin’, I say.”
Flanking the table are Cal, Wahoo, and Benny; Wahoo watching and chattering from the sidelines as Cal and Benny alternate between shots.
Benny edges from one side of the table to the other, sizing up his options. Then, cue in hand, cigarette dangling from his lips, he bends at the waist and lines up the shot. 
He’s so stupidly beautiful. The lamp hanging above the table illuminates him, defining his muscles by highlighting the hills and casting the valleys into shadow. A haze of smoke coats your view, but his pure essence and magnetism break through it like rays of sun through parted clouds. 
Benny’s eyes flick up to yours and he winks as he shoots, driving two balls directly into their nets. 
Your mouth goes dry. You swallow sandpaper, leaving your throat all raw and scratchy.
“So, how’ve you been, honey?” Betty asks, and you turn your head. “How've you been feelin’? How’s that nausea?”
“Yea,” Kathy adds, leaning in close as if seeking out a secret, “and how’s it been goin’ with him? Any trouble?”
“Um, I'm fine,” you say, tucking a few stray strands of hair behind your ear. “Nausea’s manageable. 
As far as Benny goes, there's no trouble,” you tell them, “It’s just–” You pause. 
What can you say? That you haven’t fully forgiven him even though he’s working so hard to be a good husband? That some of the things he’s doing around the house are swoon-worthy compared to what most men you know would do but you’re too stubborn to express the depth of your appreciation? Any woman would look at you like you’re insane. 
When you think about it like that, maybe you are insane. 
“I don't know,” you say with a shrug and a shake of your head. “It's hard to explain.”
“Well, according to Johnny, Benny’s worried each day in the house will be his last,” Betty says, blowing a stream of smoke off to the side. “That boy’s so afraid he’s gonna mess up and let you down again that I'm surprised he hasn't lost his marbles. I read in Life that bein’ that anxious wreaks havoc on the body and mind.”
Betty’s always reading something in Life, and a good portion of the time you are hesitant to take her seriously. Not necessarily because you don’t trust what the magazine reports, but that Betty tends to exaggerate for kicks. 
You have a feeling she’s not exaggerating this time.
Your face falls. 
“Don’t you feel bad about it for one second,” Kathy scolds, placing her hand on top of yours. “You’re well within your rights to make him earn his place.”
“I know, but I don’t want him to be scared that I'm going to–”
You’re cut off by a male voice slipping through a brief lull in the cacophony of noise.
“If she don’t want Benny no more, she can bring her sweet ass right on over to me,” a Newcomer says in a slurring mess. “I’d sure take better care of her than he did.”
Every soul in the room falls deadly silent—the only remaining sound being the melody of Elvis's Baby Let's Play House from the jukebox—and the world around you freezes.
Cigarettes are held over ashtrays, their ashes yet to be knocked off. Beer bottles are raised to lips without the satisfaction of a sip. The bartender’s rag has only wiped up half of a drunken man’s spill. No one is breathing and everyone’s eyes are glued to either the Newcomer or your husband. Yours are on Newcomer, watching his features shift and tick as he soaks in the weight of what he just said, and what it’s about to cost him. 
Kathy sighs. “Oh, god.” 
The whole bar hears her—impossible not to; you could hear a mouse skitter across the floor—and her words seem to carry with them the wave of a green flag, because a moment later, Benny rushes the guy and tackles him to the ground. 
Chaos erupts. All at once, shouts, curses, and hateful name-calling explode like the impact of a bomb. Nearly every man in the club is taking sides in the war between Newcomers and Vets. Fists fly into faces. Faces are shoved against walls. Walls are cracked from bodies slamming into them. There’s the distinct sound of bone meeting bone. Blood splatters across your table.
“Jesus, fellas!” Kathy snaps as she and Betty hop up, dragging you out of the danger zone. 
In a panic, your head whips in all directions. You can’t find Benny, but you need to find him and you need to find him now. 
You’ve seen him throw punches at races and members’ houses but this is too public a space, and if the cops are called, he can’t be caught fighting again. Nor can he risk having fingers pointed his way for instigating. He already has a record, and though you didn’t know him during his few stints behind bars, you know he has exhausted the sheriff's leniency. If you leave now, Johnny will come up with something to excise Benny’s participation should questions arise. 
You take a step forward but Kathy’s grip is tight. “Where do you think you’re goin’?” she shouts.
“To get my husband.”
Betty gapes. “Are you crazy? You're pregnant!” But you ignore her, shaking Kathy off and heading into the storm. “Johnny! Johnny, grab her!”
You weave through fight after fight, stopping short when a body lands at your feet, but he’s up and out of your way in an instant, and you continue dodging and ducking until you spot a blond head. From what you can see, there’s hardly a scratch on him. The same cannot be said for the drunk guy beneath him. 
Before you can move another inch, an arm circles your waist and jerks you back. 
“Hey!” you snap. “Let go!”
“Not a chance, sweetheart. You stay out of it,” Johnny says, lifting you off the ground and setting you down in a safer area. He puts his hands on your shoulders and dips his head to your eye level, locking on to your gaze. “I’ll get ‘im, ok? I’ll get ‘im. Stay right here.”
You nod in agreement, your brows knitted and teeth chewing on your bottom lip. 
From this location, you have a better view of your husband and the friend who is trying and failing to break up the fight. Johnny yanking on Benny’s dominant arm is not enough to stop the attacks. Neither is the forearm locked around his neck. 
When Cal notices Johnny’s struggle, he pushes his opponent into a table and races over to take hold of Benny’s other bicep. Together they pull him off the man whose face no longer resembles a human’s. It’s a bloody mess. His nose is dented in, eyes swollen shut, lips split and mouth hanging open to reveal an empty space where a tooth used to be. 
Benny’s chest heaves. Murder is in his glare. He jerks against his restraints but struggles to break free with the force of two men weighing him to the ground. 
Then Johnny mutters something in Benny’s ear that immediately halts his thrashing. His breathing slows. The fire fades from his irises, returning them to their soft cerulean, and his eyes tear away from the beaten man to dart around the room in search of you. 
As Benny spots you, Johnny's lips move, seemingly forming the words ‘Get outta here,’ before he pats Benny on the chest and lets him rise to his feet. 
Benny comes to you and without stopping grasps your hand and leads you out of the bar.
— 
“You think you fractured anything?” You ask as you slide the key into the lock and turn.
Benny stretches and flexes his fingers. “No,” he answers, trailing into the house behind you and shutting the front door. “Are you upset with me?” 
He’s been wanting to ask that question since you left the bar. As he'd placed the helmet on your head and clipped the strap under your chin, you'd observed his lips, how they were parting as if to speak but unable to get anything out. And when he'd helped you off the bike in front of the house, his expression was far away, his jaw shifting, teeth clenching—the look of your husband in intense thought. 
At least he finally spit it out. Normally, he would have run his fingers through his hair and sighed, opting not to bother you with the question; a behavior that used to drive you crazy. It took weeks after you met for you to accept that while Benny was willing to share a lot with you—things he didn’t intend to share with anyone; a life, for instance—there were things best not to pester him into revealing. 
So you’re a patient partner. If it needs to be said or asked, it’ll be said or asked. And you're glad he decided this was one question that needed to be asked.
You sigh, hanging your jacket on the rack, and Benny follows, selecting the hook closest to yours. 
“I mean, you nearly killed him,” you say as you make your way to the back of the living room and open the closet that houses the first aid kit. 
On tippy toes, you can barely brush your fingers along the metal tin, and you grumble each time you unintentionally push it a little further back on the shelf.
A muscled arm reaches above your head to grab the kit. Benny places it in your hands before stepping back into the seating area and dropping down onto the footstool, his standard perch when you’re fixing him up. 
Blue eyes are glued to your body as you take a seat on the couch. 
You pull the lid off of the tin and riffle through it for the small bottle of alcohol—you’ll have to buy more soon, it’s getting low—and a clean rag. With the alcohol-soaked fabric at the ready, you slip your fingers under his warm palm, bring his hand close, and get to work dabbing the wounds and wiping off some of the dried blood. He doesn’t so much as hiss at the shot of pain that makes any other human groan and pinch their eyes tight.
“He was out of line,” he tells you.
“I’m not saying he wasn’t out of line, but I really don't need you getting in trouble and being taken away from me, Benny.” You’re focused on his injury, but out of the corner of your eye, he winces in shame. “Besides, he was just mouthing off.”
“Mouthin’ off about my wife.”
With a huff, you drop your joined hands onto your lap and shoot him a look. “I know, but do you honestly believe what he said could ever happen? Do you think I would leave you for some other man?”
You ask with the full expectation of a whip-quick reply—‘of course not, baby’—but Benny adam’s apple bobs, and his teeth clench as his eyes flit to the undoubtedly less interesting carpet.
“Benny…?”
He runs his uninjured hand down his face and looks up at you. “C'mon, baby, it's not that wild of a thought. Not after what I did to you,” he says, his thumb slowly running over your knuckles. “You are so much better than anything I should be allowed to have. But me? You could throw a rock in any direction and you'd hit a man better than me. One that wouldn’t have panicked and left you pregnant and alone for six weeks.”          
You shake your head. “That’s not true.”   
“It is true.”
“It is not, and even if it was, I don't want another man,” you confess. A beat passes as you exhale heavily to stave off the stinging of oncoming tears. “It hurts that you left, but I am working through it, we are working through it, ok? You’re not going to lose me, Benny Cross. Not unless you leave me.”
“I'm never leavin’ you,” he says. 
You place your free hand on his cheek. “Then you’re never losing me.”
Benny swallows hard and scans your face—each and every feature—lingering on your lips before meeting your eyes. As your thumb strokes his cheekbone, he wraps his fingers around your wrist, turns his head, and presses a kiss to your palm. 
“Baby, I miss you so much,” he mutters, his brows pinched in anguish. “I miss touchin’ you. I miss holdin’ you. I miss sleepin’ next to you.” He lightly shakes his head. “I know I don’t deserve you, and I sure as hell don’t deserve our baby, but I fuckin’ miss you.”
The unit that is your heart and body and soul feels as if it’s being cleaved in two. This isn’t what the past month of your lives was meant to be about. It was supposed to be about building trust, not dishing out punishment. And yes, you’ve messed up before, said things that weren’t fair, but keeping him at arm's length is more than that. It’s a deeper pain. Stronger. More potent. Not just for him, but for you as well, and now you can’t quite see the point anymore. Staying away from his touch does not help anything if what you want at the end of the day is to be together. And that is what you want. 
When you touch your lips to his for the first time in almost three months, you whimper. You whimper and you melt and the tears want to come back because it’s so much easier to resist desire when you haven’t entertained it in a while. But now you’ve given in. You’re tasting him like you used to, tasting the remnants of gin and cigarettes and the blueberry pie you made for dessert, and it’s all Benny. Benny, who is so shocked that you’ve kissed him that it takes a handful of seconds before he kisses you back and becomes the Benny you know. And then he’s curling his arm around your waist and pulling you into his lap, and his hands are everywhere. Squeezing your thighs, sliding over your ass, tracing up your spine, holding the back of your neck to guide you closer so he can kiss you harder, and yea, you are never depriving yourself of your husband again.
Benny stands, taking you with him, supporting your weight as he keeps kissing you and you keep kissing him. He blindly turns and settles into the comfort of the couch with your legs on either side of his hips. 
You lean back, breaking the connection of your lips. “Benny.”
He’s staring at you like you’re hypnotic, mesmerizing. Like he’s drunk on kisses. His fingers trace the curvature of your face. A thumb ghosts over the swollen pillows of your mouth. 
“Yea, baby,” he says, voice gravelly, just above a whisper.
“Do you want to be back in our bed?”
Benny stiffens and he blinks away that glazed-over expression. “You mean it?” He asks. You nod. 
“Are you gonna be in the bed too?” he says, sifting his fingers through your hair. “We're not just swappin’, are we?”
You smile. “No, we aren't swapping,” you promise him, your forehead falling against his. “I'm making room.”
---
A/N: I kind of want to do a time jump Part 3 with lots of Dad!Benny stuff. Let me know if you’d be interested in reading that. Thanks :)
Taglist (if you wanna join)
1K notes · View notes
greenorangevioletgrass · 1 year ago
Text
give me a minute (2/2) | chef luca
Tumblr media
pairing: chef luca x ex-wife!reader word count: 6.6k warnings: established former relationship, discussions of separation and divorce, discussions of moving on, luca and reader has a son, brief mention of blood and minor injury, smut 18+ (fingering, oral (f receiving), unprotected sex, size kink? idk luca's big, dirty talk, creampie) notes: it's finally here! thank you everyone for your patience, i am a slow writer by nature and life gets in the way, but i finally got around to finish it! happy reading, and do comment, reblog, and send me asks to tell me what you think <;3 ✨follow @ficsbygreenorangevioletgrass and turn on the notifications to get alerted for my latest fics ✨
<<< read part 1 here >>>
06.13 PM
Your apartment has never felt so claustrophobic after that little moment you shared with Luca. You try to stay busy in the next hour —tidying up Alfie’s room even after he made it up, checking your email four times, even doing the laundry, for fuck’s sake— as Luca keeps to himself in the kitchen area. Whether Alfie is obliviously enjoying his screen time or purposely ignoring the weird tension between his parents, you’re not entirely sure. Right now, you’re just grateful that he’s not saying anything at the moment.
The boy simply creeps up to the kitchen counter with a shy eagerness about him. “How long ‘til dinner, Dad?”
“3 more minutes, Chef,” Luca answers, focused on the task at hand, so poker-faced that it makes his son giggle.
“I’m not a chef, you’re a chef!”
“Well, where I work, we call everyone in the kitchen ‘chef.’ Out of respect.”
Alfie climbs onto the dining bench in interest, peering up to watch his father set the dish on the plates meticulously. Luca doesn’t miss how the boy deeply inhales the delicious smell in the air.
“Smells yummy.”
“Thank you,” Luca replies, his excitement seems muted although his heart is soaring. He looks up to find Alfie staring at the plate, chin propped up on his little fist. You’ve always said that he looks just like his dad, but in that moment, Luca only sees you. Alfie has the way your mouth tugs ever so slightly into a smile, the way your eyes shine in childlike wonder. In quiet thoughtfulness.
No Michelin star, earned or retained, would ever amount to this.
“Can you go get your mum and tell her dinner’s ready, please?” He softly asks Alfie, as if not wanting to disrupt this peaceful silence. “Thank you, Chef.”
“Yes, chef.” The six-year-old salutes him and pads over to your home office, which doubles as the guest bedroom. The door is open, and he sees you reorganizing the linen closet with your back to him. He hugs you from behind, startling you.
“Oh!” You put your hand on his head, stroking him lightly. “Hey, bub.”
“Daddy told me to come get you and say dinner’s ready.”
“Gotcha. Thank you.” You half-expect him to run off like he usually does, but he lingers, his arms still wrapped around you. “What’s up, bubbie?”
“Nothing.” He buries his face against your side. “Love you, Mommy.”
“I love you too, bubbie.” This makes you smile, pleasantly surprised at this seemingly random admission.
“Love Daddy too, but don’t tell him that,” he whispers as he looks up at you, putting his forefinger in front of his mouth.
“Why not?”
“Sometimes he gets sad when I say that,” he murmurs. “He doesn’t tell me, but I know it.”
Oh. His playful exterior sometimes makes you forget just how emotionally sensitive he is. And it breaks your heart that he can see through the complicated adult emotions with his childlike eyes. 
“Alfie…” you level with him and pull him closer, “Your dad loves you very very much, and I’m sure he’d be happy to hear you say that. He’s just sad because… he’s been away, and he misses you a lot.”
“He should come home, then.”
It’s so simple, the way Alfie puts it. His Dad comes home and reunites with him and you, and his puzzle would piece together perfectly again. And you all live happily ever after. The end.
The truth, of course, is not so simple. But maybe, just for tonight… Maybe you and Luca can sacrifice a few of your own puzzle pieces. For your baby boy.
So you get back on your feet and guide your son out of the room. “Come on, bub. Let’s see what Daddy cooked for us, hm?”
When you and Alfie turn the corner into the kitchen-living area, Luca is wiping the side of the plate neatly. He smiles at you somewhat nervously, like he’s not sure what to do with himself, so you throw him the figurative olive branch.
“Smells amazing,” you compliment him as you and Alfie take your seats. “What are we having, Chef?”
Luca’s eyes light up and your heart stops. You stopped calling him ‘Chef’ long ago, when the moniker became synonymous with workaholism and neglect. But there’s no venom in the way you say it tonight. Call him sentimental, but it reminds him of the early summer days in the tiny apartment you first shared in Chicago.
Of blueberry pies and barely there bumps.
He has to remind himself that this whole ‘happy family’ shtick is just a charade now, it’s all for Alfie, it doesn’t mean anything for the two of us, but he can’t help but miss this.
And little does he know, so do you.
“Well, buckle up, you guys, because we are having…” He carries the plates over and serves it to you and Alfie with a flourish, “Baked sweet potato wedges with Mediterranean dip, and our pièce-de-résistance… Alfie’s Nuggies.”
It looks nothing short of beautiful, with the wedges fanned out like autumn leaves underneath a colorful burst of cherry tomatoes, cucumbers, olives, and feta cheese. The chicken nuggets are rich golden brown against the brilliant white plate. The splatters of sauce (is that Tahini?) is a hint of thoughtful chaos on the dish.
Your six-year-old let out a little noise of awe and amazement next to you, but no sound escapes you—not for the longest time.
“This is…” you look up at Luca as if he would have the word you’re looking for.
But his blue eyes just look a lot like I love you.
“Thank you,” you ultimately say, with absolutely no pretense whatsoever.
And if he does hear an ‘I love you’ hidden somewhere in there… he hopes he’s not imagining things.
*** 
08:37 PM
If you could travel just a few hours back in time and tell yourself that you would spend the whole day stuck at home in a nasty storm with your son and his father that you’re divorcing—and that you’d be okay with it, you would’ve probably scheduled yourself an MRI scan because clearly something is wrong.
But the night is winding down. Luca is tucking Alfie into bed for the first time in months. You are washing dishes in the quiet accompaniment of steady rain and running water, and everything feels just right.
“He’s out like a light,” Luca informs you quietly as he reemerges from Alfie’s bedroom and stops right by the kitchen counter. “Need a hand?”
“Nah, I’m just about done,” you casually wave him off. “You want anything to drink?”
“Uh… what do you got?”
“Scotch, gin…” you pause, not wanting him to get the wrong idea. The sink tap squeaks a little as you shut it off. “...wine.”
His heart skips. Don’t overthink it, he reminds himself. “Red or white?”
“Take your pick,” you shrug nonchalantly. 
Luca reaches up to see the bottles of wine you have in store, and you try not to pay too much attention as his shirt rides up around the waist—or the sleeve, showing off the remnants of Alfie’s crayon work over his inks… you’re just two co-parents hanging out. It’s normal, right?
“What about the Malbec?” he eventually chooses, taking out the bottle.
He’s always loved Malbec—this particular brand of Malbec you brought him when he first invited you for dinner on your third date.
Don’t overthink it, you remind yourself. “Yeah, sure.”
You pick up two wine glasses and set them down on the dining table, shuffling into the corner bench. Luca settles into the other bench, directly against the kitchen counter, pouring the wine onto both glasses.
“How many bedtime stories did Alfie manage to get out of you?” you pipe up, swirling the purplish liquid around.
“Just one…” he sips on his wine thoughtfully. “Although he made me read it three times.”
You smile, bemused. “Which one was it?”
“‘The Bear Who Did.’”
“Ah, yeah. He’s been into that one lately,” you muse. “But… for what it’s worth, I’m glad he asked you to tuck him in tonight.”
The two of you exchange a soft look. A ceasefire. A truce, at least when it comes to your son. Because you really do want Luca to have a good relationship with Alfie.
“Me too.”
“And I’m sorry you had to… make do with spending the day with Alfie here.”
He shakes his head softly. “Nah, don’t be. I had a good time. It’s nice to just hang out… at home.”
At home, the words echo in your head.
With you, they echo in his, loud and unsaid.
“So, uh… how have you been?”
“Ah, you know how it is. Work is kicking my ass—my current client’s only two blocks away, but the house is a total fixer-upper, and Alfie’s… Alfie.” You don’t want to backtalk your own son, although you both know how trying he can be sometimes. “But it’s all good. My mom helps out with Alfie, and Jess insists that I go out and live a little every now and again.”
“And do you? Live a little?”
“I mean, within reason. I can’t go clubbing ‘til 4am anymore. I think I’m getting old…” you stretch your arms, feeling that soreness just from your daily activities.
Luca grins, raising his glass. “I hear you. I don’t even really go out anymore.”
“Seriously?” 
“Mm-hm.”
You make an incredulous face. It would make sense for you not to go out much, with Alfie and everything. But he was alone, abroad… “Why, though?”
He just shrugs lightly. “I’m working. Whenever I’m off, I mostly just… eat or sleep.”
“I somehow find that hard to believe.” You take a dubious sip. You both know how much Luca enjoys grabbing a cheeky pint. He’s British; it’s in his blood, goddammit.
“Oh come on…”
“You don’t even go out drinking or whatever? Meet people?”
His gaze flashes towards you almost playfully. “Do you?”
Your face falls, not expecting to be caught so off-guard with such an innocent question. And upon seeing that, his face falls. Shit. And with that, the air between you shifts so dramatically.
Stupidly, you still try to save the conversation. “Of course my friends and I go out—”
“You know that’s not what I meant.” His voice darkens, his blue eyes piercing through you. 
This conversation is a long time coming. It’s a natural progression of your relationship—or the lack thereof. You separate, you get divorced, and eventually you move on. Two years is a more than acceptable time to start dating again. And still, you phrase out your next words very carefully.
“I’ve been on dates here and there…”
Luca sucks in a slow, calculated breath. “Does Alfie know?”
You shake your head. “It’s nothing serious so far.”
He’s not sure what’s worse, the fact that it’s nothing serious, or that you’re holding out for something serious in the future.
“Look, we both know this is happening sooner or later…”
“I know,” he quickly recovers—or as much as he can recover. He just stares down the stem of his glass.  “It just… It’s a lot to take in, that’s all.”
“I understand.” The wine feels like gravel down your throat, and the words coming out of your mouth feel like throwing up a boulder.
“Because I do miss you.”
Your eyes immediately dart over to his, as if you’re not sure you heard it right. “Luca…”
“I miss you everyday. I miss us. I miss everything we used to have.”
Your heart catches—no, stops altogether at his admission. “Luca, we can’t do this anymo—”
He swallows thickly, his jaw setting as he braces himself. “I’ve been thinking about it everyday—the whole time I’m away, and frankly, I’m kicking myself over not telling you this sooner.”
“That’s probably just the homesickness talking.” You turn away. This can’t be possible. This can’t be happening. What the fuck?! “It got you reminiscing about the good old days. Give it time, you’ll come around.” You try to maintain a neutral, distant, cold approach to this, although the crack in your voice betrays you.
“No. That’s not it.”
“Then what the fuck is it?”
Your words cut through the quiet apartment like a flash bang. Luca stops dead in his tracks in his shock, and honestly, so do you. Awful silence hushes over the room, and both of you are almost too afraid to break it. Neither of you even dare to move.
After what seems like forever, Luca moves first. A tear escapes his eye, and he wipes it away with his knuckle hurriedly. “Noma should’ve been a dream. And it is, in a way. I guess.” He stares blankly ahead, his life in Copenhagen replaying in his head like it’s on fast-forward, and the playback seems to just highlight how lonely he is there. “But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m utterly miserable there. I get up and go to work and I just feel empty. Because what’s the point? You and Alfie are way over here, being a family while I’m… doing what?” He wants to tear his hair out, because this is everything he’s dreamed of, and yet he is living the stuff of nightmares. “It makes no fucking sense.”
It makes even less sense to you. You can’t even begin to process this tangled mess in your head. “Luca… we are almost officially divorced. You’re telling me this now? When everything is—”
“I thought I was doing what was best for you. I thought I should just… let you cut your losses and—”
“The best for me? How the fuck did you think giving up was the best way forward for me?” The thought of it burns your eyes with angry tears. They melt, and you don’t do a thing to stop it from running down your face. “You didn’t think to fight for us while you still could?”
Luca’s heart aches to see that. He is dying to reach out and wipe them away, but he can’t. His voice is quiet and small and almost childlike. “I tried. You were just so… sure about the divorce. You had it all figured out. And I… I thought you had no room for me anymore.”
“I had to keep it together. I had to figure it out—for Alfie’s sake. For mine.” You stare at your little potted sunflower on the windowsill. “I don’t see the point in being vulnerable with you anymore when you’re already set on leaving.”
The words have run out. The whirlwind of emotions has passed. What he feels and what he wants is now very clear.
“I shouldn’t have left.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have.” You wished he didn’t. Everyday for the last two years. And everyday you set yourself up for disappointment because, the truth of the matter is, he did leave. So you stop wishing. “Because I don’t know how to come back from this. I really don’t.”
Nothing that comes out of your mouth is unexpected. But it doesn’t hurt any less to hear it from the horse’s mouth. “It’s just… seeing you guys today… We were a family again. And I would do anything for us to be a family again. Please.”
You sigh heavily. “What else is there to do, Luca…?”
“We can, I don’t know, figure something out, go to couples counseling—”
You groan in frustration, Jesus Christ not this again, wanting to tear your hair out when— CRASH! You accidentally knock over your wine glass and it shatters as it hits the floor. “Shit…”
“Mommy?” Alfie calls you from inside his room, sleepy but alert.
The two of you freeze just before you can move out of your seat. Afraid the slightest of noises would rattle your son.
“Yes, bubbie?” you try to sound bright and normal. Maybe if you can convince him that everything’s fine, he won’t come running in panic. 
“What was that?”
“I just knocked over a glass, kiddo, everything’s okay. Go back to sleep.”
You and Luca wait a few seconds with bated breath. One, two, three… ten seconds go by, and there’s no movement in the bedroom.
The coast is clear.
You scramble down to pick up the shards of glass. The spilled wine looks like blood in the dim light of the room. It’s a painful reminder of the broken pieces of your former life, the casualties. He quickly follows suit, as if struggling to put it all back together. The irony is not lost on either of you, you’re sure of that.
“It’s fine, Luca. I got it, I—” a sharp piece of glass accidentally cuts your palm as you pick it up in hurry. “Fuck!”
“You okay?” He takes your hand as quick as lightning, wanting to inspect the wound, but you snatch it away.
“I’m fine.” You get up on your feet, teetering over to the sink, away from the crime scene, careful not to step on any piece of glass.
Yet he still follows you, walking over to where you’re standing now. “Come on. Let me just take a look.” He reaches out to your wrist, running little circles with his thumb to ease your grasp.
“It’s not a big deal…” you let him look anyway, you figure it’s easier to just let him do his thing than to argue your way out of it. 
His calluses are brittle against your palm, but he handles you with the gentlest touch. The wound is not too big or too deep, but the sight of blood marring your palm makes his heart drop. There’s no visible piece stuck to it, that’s a good sign, he thinks. He rips off some paper towel and wets it on the sink, and softly dab at the gash, cleaning the wound and wiping the blood off.
You grit your teeth, not wanting to show any sign of pain although it stings. “It’s just a little cut…” your tone bears less and less conviction, as if you have no energy left to argue with him on such a small matter.
There’s a very particular way his eyebrows arch when he’s deep in thought. The left one always sits slightly higher than the right. Blue eyes fixed on the object of his focus. A minute gesture behind the chaos in his head. “You need a Band-Aid,” he points out. 
“It’s in the—”
Luca is already opening the drawer next to the stove, taking out a packet of a Star Wars-themed Band-Aid. He still remembers where everything is, and you can’t tell whether the ache in your chest is a good or bad thing.
He puts the Band-Aid on your cut, then takes your hand close to kiss it better, like he used to do.
“Um.” You freeze in your tracks, taken aback. And it seems he’s just as equally as taken aback by his own action. He is flushed with embarrassment, and you feel your face growing hot as well.
He’s the first to break the awkward silence, quiet and tentative. “I’ll clean up the mess. You just hang tight.”
It seems so mundane, sweeping broken glass and cleaning the floor. His body registers it as a simple muscle memory—he must’ve cleaned up messes on this very spot a million times. But his heart is heavy with the burden of your history, and all the pain that comes with your separation. He might not be able to put the pieces back together, but maybe he can clean up the mess and make it nice again for you.
And all the while, you’re stuck to the kitchen counter, watching him so effortlessly reacquainted with his former home. It’s as if he never left. For a confusing moment, it feels like home again. How did you manage without this view, this presence for so long?
Luca puts away the debris in the trash, hidden away in another kitchen drawer next to you, and hovers in front of you, as if wanting to reach out and touch you… but too afraid you’ll push him away.
“Does it still hurt?”
You can’t tear your eyes off of his. The little cut on your hand is but a dull ache now, but the insides of your chest feels like it’s been mangled beyond repair. You burst into tears, sobs ripping through the seams.
His arms wrap around you, keeping your tattered pieces together. Your face is buried in his chest, surrounded by soft cotton and earthy perfume, and your first thought is you can’t remember the last time you were in his arms like this. You rake your mind through all the memories, all the times you hugged each other hello and goodbye and all the times in between, and you can’t remember the last time you stopped, why would you stop—
“My love…” Luca’s voice soothes you, so quietly murmured against your forehead with a soft kiss, yet rings so clear in your ears. He cups your face with both hands, wiping the tears away with his thumbs. “It’s okay... I got you.”
The palm of his hand grazes your lips, and you kiss it the way he kisses your Band-Aid earlier. You have no energy left to fight whatever is going on inside you. You don’t understand the nagging urge to be away from him, when being close to him feels this good. You miss his touch and his voice and his face, and you’re so overwhelmed with longing that you close the distance between your lips and his.
Luca gasps when you kiss him—and it feels like the first breath he’s drawn in two years. Your lips are just as he remembers, just as warm and inviting and familiar, and he relishes coming home to them tonight. He didn’t think he would be so lucky ever again, but now you’re here, kissing life back into him again.
Against your better judgment, you stumble into the bedroom, careful to make as little sound as possible as you tread down the hallway. Still tangled in each other. Refusing to let go even for a second. His five o’clock shadow scratches your skin, following the trail of his lips down your neck.
You push him into bed and climb on top of him without a single thought. You need him close, closer than the past two years, closer than now, and your clothes feel like they’re in the way. Of his hands, of his mouth, of his warmth…
You tear your dress off and throw it away, and he stops in his tracks. He has every part of you memorized, every curve and every ridge, every notch of your stretch marks, every inch of your C-section scar from Alfie’s birth… and yet he’s looking at you for the first time all over again.
“Beautiful…” it escapes his mouth just like that, and you kiss him senseless in return. You worry that if you stop, the moment will pass and this whole thing turns out to be just an illusion.
Or worse, a mistake.
You tug his t-shirt over his head, trying not to linger on his broad chest too long. He gets the idea—he is dying to say something, but doesn’t—and just unclasps your bra in response. He keeps his mouth busy by kissing and licking and sucking your newly exposed breasts.
It’s not that you haven’t been touched like this in a while; it’s just that you haven’t been touched by him like this for so long.. “Luca…”
He never thought he’d hear that again. His name in a wanton sigh, uttered by the lost love of his life. He’s not one to waste his chance. “It’s okay. I got you, my love. I got you.”
Because for the first time in a long time, it’s true. He’s got you. He’s got your body underneath him, your nipple in his mouth, your sweet sex in his hand.
God.
You’re so soft, so warm, so wet against his fingers. The little stuttered moan you let out sounds absolutely heavenly. He remembers exactly the last time he was here.
Christmas Eve, two years ago. 
Things had been tense long before that, but Luca was home and able to spend some time with his wife and kid at last. You didn’t seem all that chuffed having him around—whether he was here or not brought out that “neutral look of displeasure” from you these days— but at least you didn’t pull away when he rested his head on your shoulder as the three of you watched Jurassic Park (Alfie’s all-time favorite). Didn’t roll your eyes and turn away when he kissed you and wished you happy Christmas before bed.
And he wanted so desperately for you to openly want him again.
So he tentatively deepened the kiss and reiterated his love for you in every inch of your body that he could get his hands on. Trying to convince you that he was still here. Trying to convince himself that with every orgasm he pried out of you, that you still wanted him there.
But you just… laid there and watched. Hands locked in on the sheets, not even touching him. Motionless as he went through the motions of his thrusts. Numb as he touched and kissed and fucked you the way you used to like. He was fighting a losing battle. He might as well have been making love to a ghost. 
“Luca…” Your breathless voice snaps him out of his own intrusive thoughts, more clear and alive and real than any memory of you posing no desire for him.
“I— yeah, sorry. I just…” he shakes off his own thoughts.
“Hurry up, come on…” you needily thrust yourself into his hand.
“You sure?”
No, and neither does he. But at this point, you’re much too stubborn about your decision in the divorce and much too prideful to admit that you want him back and maybe just a tad too eager to make a mistake with him.
So you nod your head yes, and with a searing kiss, he fingerfucks you the way you needed him to. 
“Oh, God… fuck…” you sigh under the undoing of his fingers. It’s like he never forgot how to work your body. His fingers play a pattern on your clit that makes you sing. And when one slides into you, crooking and curling against your silky heat…
“Luca, I— now.”
He unlatches his mouth from your nipple almost begrudgingly, as if too sweet to part with you. “Not yet, baby. We can’t…”
“What, why?”
“Because…” he nips at the smooth flesh of your chest thoughtfully. How can he explain it to you in a way that makes sense? “I want…” to take as much time with you as possible, he adds another finger inside you deliciously slow. “I need…” to feel you in every way first, he chants in his head as he kisses you through your orgasm.
Your resolve is slipping, but the craving is as ravenous as ever. You try to squirm in protest anyway. “But…”
“Please.” His lips press against your forehead, eyes squeezed shut. “I got you, okay?”
His blue eyes meet yours, as familiar as the sky you’ve walked under your whole life. As sure as day. And before you realize it, you find yourself nodding along.
Watching him slither further down your body. Mouth paving the way between the valleys of your breasts, up the diamond-hard tops of your nipples.
Down your torso.
Between your nether lips.
You don’t remember the last time you did this either. Memories of attempts to rekindle the romance flash before your eyes. The nights that he climbed into bed late at night after work, still smelling like chocolate or mint or whatever ingredient he was working with that day. Waking you up with the parting of your legs and hushed kisses saying, “Missed you so much, baby…”
“Right there. Yes…” you pant as he laps you up where you’re dripping, catching every drop and coaxing more at the same time.
His eyes close, and he swallows back a needy groan. “Come for me, baby.”
The words shoot right into your core, and you’re suddenly overcome with the waves of pleasure running through you, grinding your hips into his mouth shamelessly. Has he always been so greedy in the way he ate you out?
Your head is spinning with need and you hope the broken words you string up are comprehensible enough for him. “Luca, come on, I can’t—”
“No, please—” he seems to understand just fine, but still he shakes his head and buries his face deeper into you.
“Luca…”
“Wait, just let me—”
So insistent. So stubborn. So… needy. You grasp a fistful of hair on the back of his head. Both heaving, you breathe out,
“Please.” 
The word stops him in his tracks. But it’s not so much the word as it is the gravity that comes with it. Whatever the two of you are doing, whatever you’re feeling is beyond words at this point.
It’s just you and him and this need.
And as much as he wants—needs— to satisfy his hunger, there’s just no way of stopping you anymore. Truth be told, he’s not even sure why he’s been stalling you in the first place. Not when you’re so eager to tug his clothes off and touch him absolutely everywhere. To stroke him, and taste him…
“No, baby.” He stops you just before you slither down his body, settling you back on the bed and caging you underneath him.
You throw him a look, indignant. If he’s gonna hold it off some more, you swear to God—
“No, I…” he kisses you hard, hoping you’ll get that he wants you too. More than anything. And that he’ll give you what you want. Hell, he would give you anything if he could come back to this again for the rest of his life. “Just trust me, okay?”
You marvel at the sight before you. So tall and broad and sturdy. With dark blond locks tousled in passion and eyes lidded from lust and longing, and it makes your heart stop because… there it is.
Love.
As much as you shut it out and as much as you avoid it, love is permanently etched to his actions. Tattooed onto the smallest of things. In the way he kisses your temple softly, and the way he caresses your skin as he aligns himself against you, and the way he holds you as he pushes in…
“Luca…” you gasp sharply.
He stops halfway into you, his eyes searching your face with compassion. “You okay?”
You’re aching and craving the stretch of him all at once, but you wouldn’t have it any other way, so you ultimately nod your head. I’m okay. 
And he knows that deep down. He feels the same. Soothed and tormented by your very presence, although he can’t help but ask, “Do you want me to stop?” Please don’t ask me to stop…
You shake your head quickly. Neither of you would ever dream of it. You would take everything—the weight and the sting of it all— and he would leave everything behind just to have this again.
Your hips colliding again in a frenzy of a rhythm you haven’t played in so long—still remembering every beat like it’s your own pulse. Your walls gripping him like you wouldn’t let him go.
He shudders a little. “I’m gonna come if you keep doing that…”
“I don’t care,” you murmur into his neck with a kiss, “Come.”
“What…?” He can’t have heard that right… right?
“I want you to.”
“Jesus…” he breathes out. “I wanna make this last, baby—”
You shake your head again and wrap your legs around him almost demandingly. “I want you to come inside me and fill me the fuck up… want you dripping down my legs… please…”
“Fuck!” The images flash before his eyes faster than he can stop his hands from grabbing you by the hips, slamming himself into you. 
Nor can he stop himself from coming deep inside you.
There’s no way to describe the way he feels at that moment. The way tension peaks and snaps into release. How it brings you into your climax as well. Your lips must be swollen from the assault of your own teeth as you hold back the filthy noises coming out of you. You don’t mind the building ache in your thigh muscles, because as soon as that warmth fills you up, your body is overcome by waves of bliss.
“Fuck…” he flops back onto his side of the bed—the right side—and quickly gathers you in his chest. It’s an effortless little maneuver, making sense at last as you lay half on top of him.
Your hand finds his—more puzzle pieces coming together as he fills the spaces between your fingers. You bring it to your lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. Surprised to find the gold wedding band still adorning his ring finger.
***
9:56 PM
“Was that really your first time since we… you know?” Your murmured question rings loud in the absence of the rain. The storm has finally passed, but neither of you move—neither even dare to bring it up— afraid to ruin the moment. 
“It was.”
“Not even in a casual, ‘no strings attached’ kind of situation?”
“No.” He looks almost embarrassed to admit it, but there is no hesitation in his answer.
“Wow…” your heart sinks. Is it possible to feel good and bad at the same time?
Luca pauses for a moment. You can see the conflict brewing in his head. “Did you?”
You don’t have to answer. The sheer silence you take is an answer enough.
The confirmation feels like shit, but he tries to stay neutral. His thumb stills on the back of your hand. “Can I ask how many?”
“Gosh, does that even matter?” You sigh. There’s another argument coming—you can feel it.
“No, I just… I wanna know.”
“You don’t really wanna know.”
“Is it a lot?”
“I mean…”
“How many?” 
You take in a sharp breath. There’s no way out of this now. If the truth is what he wants, then the truth is what he shall get. “Twelve.”
He tenses up next to you. The whole world stops, and you can’t help but think, it’s over. There is no way this marriage is salvageable now. “What…?”
“I know that it’s a big number, and I know you might be upset—”
“That is a big number.” He doesn’t say anything about the latter part of her sentence, but it’s obvious that he’s upset, too. “I just… why?”
“I was trying to get over you.” It’s a pathetic answer, but that’s all it is to it. “I couldn’t sleep in this bed for months. I just couldn’t. Slept on the guest bed instead,” you motion at the next room, “and then one day, I couldn’t take it anymore. It’s like a switch flipped inside my brain, and I needed to—”
“What?”
“I needed to… overwrite the memories of you,” you admit feebly. “On this bed. On my body.”
Knife, meet heart. He’s not sure what answer he was expecting, but whatever it was, this hurts so much more. “And did it work?”
“Up to a point…” you pause, a sad smile in realization. “It’s funny. I keep getting bits and pieces of you somehow.”
“What do you mean?”
You close your eyes, your memories flashing, reminding you that every single time reminds you of Luca one way or another. “It’s… somebody’s perfume, or the timbre of their voice, or the way they hold my hand…”
“And you see me in them?” 
“Every single one.”
“Jesus…” Luca finds himself relieved and choked up at the same time. He doesn’t want you to ever get rid of your memories of him, but at the same time, it’s painful to hear that you tried anyway.
And you tried very hard.
“I’m sorry.”
He hums, and you realize… he hasn’t let go of your hand. Not once. Not even after your little confession. It makes the argument easier, knowing he’s there. It’ll be easier to part with him again after tonight, you hope, knowing you both did your best to understand. Why you needed to be apart. Why you did the things you did.
The armor has been shed, and the two of you are now naked, in every sense of the word.
Luca turns to look at you, studying your profile. He remembers the last time he was here.
He had just told you about Denmark. Stupid of him to feel excited, to tell you he’d just been offered his dream job, to ask you and Alfie to move someplace new with him, because it turned into a fight.
Worse than a fight; it was a death sentence.
You turned away and stared at the ceiling, and told him you couldn’t do this anymore.
And in some fucked up way, Luca feels as if he’d been brought back in time, and this is his one chance to make it right. So he asks you,
“Do you still love me?” 
You breathe out, heart clenching because in spite of yourself, “I do.”
“Do you want us to try again?”
“Luca…” you sigh heavily, “How would that even work? Alfie and I are here, and you have Noma–”
“No more Noma. I’m giving that up.” The answer is straightforward, and he surprises himself over how easily it rolls off of his tongue. How right.
“What? You wouldn’t…” Your face falls as you turn to him.
“I would. And I am,” he says firmly. “Look, I’ve thought about this for months now. I can’t do Noma anymore, I need to be home.” His gaze softens, and you feel the pattern running on the back of your hand again.
Slow and steady and certain.
The tear rolls off the corner of your eye and onto the pillow with the tiniest drop. “I wanted you to come home…”
“Then let me come home. Please?”
“I want to. I just…” you reach out and cup his face tentatively. “I just want to make sure that we’re not doing anything rash.”
His eyes light up. The only thing that matters is that you want him home, too. It takes him everything to let his logical part of the brain take control. “How about this, then?” Luca pauses thoughtfully. “We’ll take a minute. For me to sort out everything at Noma, find a replacement… and for us to figure out if this is really what we wanna do.
“If it starts to feel like a bad idea, maybe we should rethink it. But if it feels good… maybe we can give it another shot.
“And in the meantime, we’ll talk. We’ll FaceTime and… figure out what the hell to say to our lawyers.”
That makes you grimace. You were supposed to have another meeting with your divorce lawyers. Tomorrow is going to be awkward. But awkward beats saying goodbye to the man you’ve always loved, right? It’s a small price to pay.
“What do you say, baby?” He looks at you with all the hope that he has. “Just give me a minute to get everything sorted and then I’ll come home.”
You smile tearfully. “A minute is not enough… how about a month, hm?”
“Yeah, that makes more sense, actually.” He chuckles sheepishly. “A month. I can do that.”
“Good.” You sidle up to him and kiss him where his heart is. You’re willing to settle for having him just for the night, but you can’t wait until he comes home to you for good.
You hope he will.
2K notes · View notes
dovesdreaming · 7 months ago
Note
hear me out! totally oblivious reader to ben’s flirting. to the point that people eventually point it out and readers just like HUH?! and like ben’s abt to stop bc he thinks the reader is uncomfortable but she finally confesses!!
so like kinda angsty but MAJOR fluff at the end!!
thank you!!
You like me?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
This was such a good request thank you!! I feel like it has potential for a part two like the after math but idk?? Hope you enjoy!! <3
Word count: 1.1k
Not edited yet
Warnings: none
Tumblr media
You and Ben had been friends since you could remember. You had always relied on and been there for one another. There wasn’t a world that you could imagine yourself without him in.
Many people confused you as a couple hearing comments like “you’re so cute together!” Or “how long have you two been together?”. You would always be first to deny it, Ben never really saying much. It never changed your relationship with Ben though. You assumed people thought you were a couple because of your close nature, you could admit it was like you were attached at the hip. You always had your hands on the other, always touching in some sort of way. It was natural to you and you never interpreted it in any other way because you and Ben had always been like this together, even though if you were honest with yourself you did want it to be more but you knew Ben never saw you like that.
It was a normal day, you and Ben lounging together in the gardens of Auradon. You had your head in his lap as you both relaxed for the afternoon. Ben was in his own world reading a book while you daydreamed, your mind wondering to different thoughts with some being about Ben. You wondered what life would be like if you were dating but it made your heart ache so you made yourself focus on something else. You looked around the gardens but you were only faced with multiple couples being wrapped up in each other. It was like they were in their own bubbles of love, completely absorbed in the other as though nothing else existed. It weighed on you and your emotions ran high. You needed to be away from Ben before you did something that would ruin your friendship, you quickly stood up and excused yourself from Ben making some excuse you can’t even remember before nearly running to your room. Ben was left in a state of shock as he didn’t know why you left so suddenly.
While you were in your room trying to fight your emotions for Ben off you didn’t realise Ben was trying to get rid of his for you aswell. Ben had been trying to show his feelings for you for a while now. He had tried many ways without actually saying the words, this included gifting you many things that a boyfriend would only do (flowers, jewellery, soft toys, you name it), he would always be showing you love through his touch (he would run his fingers through your hair, make the hug last over the friendly amount and would even cuddle you on the sofa -sometimes in bed!) and he would always want to be in your presence yet you never caught on. It seemed as though all your friends and strangers saw the love he had for you but you couldn’t or this was your way of telling him you weren’t interested. He thought over all your interactions and instead of focusing on the lovesick glances you shared or the subtle touches his doubtful mind focused on how you always corrected strangers when they mistook you as a couple and how you would always get irritated if your friends teased you with the idea of Ben. He focused on the very small details and his mind had decided that you weren’t interested. He shouldn’t confess to you because you showed that you weren’t interest in him and that he should back off, so he did. The next day when he joined your conversation with your friends instead of putting his arm round your waist like usual, he just stood next to you. His arm longed to be around you but he had to take your feelings into consideration.
When you got back to your room after a day of school you were left confused and unhappy. Ben had been off with you today, he’d been so distant. You sulked in your room til after dinner, refusing to come when your roommates, Evie and mal told you that you should eat. It had gone dark outside and you were staring out at the sky hoping a shooting star would go by so you could wish for Ben to come back to you.
Mal and Evie quietly came back in and decided to confront you about your unhappiness. You couldn’t hold your feelings in anymore and finally confessed how you liked Ben but you didn’t want to ruin your friendship. You told them how Ben had been distant all day and all they did was turn to look at each other before lightly laughing. You frowned even deeper “this isn’t funny, i like Ben and don’t want to loose him”. They stopped laughing but still wore a smile when they explained Ben had feelings for you and he had distanced himself because he thought you weren’t interested. Your thoughts spiralled and your heart raced. Ben couldn’t like you. Could he? You thought back on everything and it al clicked into place. You finally figured out what that small shine was in his eyes when he looked at you, the shine that everyone saw and thought you were a couple because of. You stood up, your thoughts were jambled and nothing was coming out straight but you knew one thing. You wanted to see Ben. You ran out the door into the night forgetting everything, even your shoes, you just had to find Ben. Before the door shut a shout of “go get your man!” Was heard from either mal or Evie, you weren’t sure and your mind was to busy to figure it out.
You arrived quite could outside bens dorm room. You took a breath everything happening in slow motion as you moved your hand to knock on his door. It swung open to reveal a solemn Ben.
He looked the most confused you’ve ever seen him. You went to talk but realised you hadn’t planned what to say to him when you finally saw him and nothing came out of your mouth, your mind still racing. Feeling impulsive at lack of better judgement with your adrenaline at an all time high you longed forward and captured his lips in a kiss. He was quite shocked before kissing back, eventually moving so that one of his hands was on your hip and the other holding your neck, his fingers just tangling in your hair. The kiss grew more passionate before abruptly breaking so that you could breathe. You both stood on bens doorstep staring at each other, knowing exactly how you felt about each other for once.
Tumblr media
Thank you for reading!!
503 notes · View notes
harukyuu2 · 18 days ago
Note
hii could I request Till, Ivan, and Luka x Ado!reader (the singer) and could you write their reactions to reader singing crime and punishment in the stage with their opponent and after could you make a little scenario after?
(if you haven't heard the song I recommend you to listen to it so you have an idea on what it's about! <3)
ANON WERE SO CONNECTEDD im literally obsessed with that song this month, idk why but here you have it!!
CRIME AND PUNISHMENT !! - Ado!Reader x Till, ivan, luka ♪
!! ⇾ Headcanons more than all, little scenario, fluff, relationship not tagged so you can take it as what you want, weird behaviour for Luka, neutral reader, a little ooc maybe since its my first time actually writting for alnst :x - Small revision !!
Tumblr media
◊▸ TILL !!
This man was soo nervous when you got into the stage, he wont tell you directly— but he loves you too much for you to lose.
Now, when the song started with you showing so much emotions. he losed it completely
His eyes couldnt leave your figure, he was already mesmerized by you— but it seems you always find a new way to make him fall more in love
The way you blended so easily screams on the song, showing with them lots of emotions made him want to sing at your side— even if he thinks he isnt at your level, he just loves your voice so much. He didnt even care how your opponent didnt manage to get too much of a line since you stealed it with your screams.
He leaved a relieved sigh when the hologram showed your win, even if it was a clear result. He isnt able to relax a second when youre on stage, he has to keep a watch on you even if he cant do too much about it. he was so mad he couldnt bring his sketchbook to atleast keep this moment in paper instead in only his mind, well— his sketchbook is already full of portraits of you.
⇒ After The Round... Till was waiting for you at the backstage, the first times he did this he felt nervous and all, but right now he just wanted to see you. Actually, he is nervous! but his feelings of admiration and love for you are stronger than that. When he saw your figure emerge alone from the darkness, his heart began to race, and suddenly, the words he had prepared vanished from his mind—replaced only by the tired smile you gave him when you stood face to face. For a moment, silence hung between you two, he was staring at you mesmerized. Then, realizing how strange he must look, he snapped out of it, shaking his head and quickly trying to speak. "H-hey...you did great back there, the way you singed- i liked it a lot, uhm..it was beautiful" - He said pretty nervous rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding your gaze a little, you were so bright in his eyes that his heart burned with a simple glance at your face. You were getting used to Till's nervous presence, leaving it up to his struggles with communication after everything he endured back in the garden. Letting out a soft laugh at how he avoided your gaze, you leaned in closer—tilting your head to meet his eyes. Speaking in a low, reassuring tone, you tried to ease his nerves. - "Thank you, Till. Thanks for being there for me."
Your gazes met, and with a gentle smile, you wrapped your arms around him in a warm hug, your head resting in his chest to feel his heartbeat. You understood how much he struggled to stay obedient to the aliens, so the fact that he did it just to watch you sing on stage filled your heart with warmth.
At first, Till didnt know how to reciprocate correctly the hug and just tensed his body at your touch— he sighed, knowing you were probably hearing his heartbeat, so with shaking hands and feeling his cheeks warm up, he hugged you back lightly, scared of hurting you since in his eyes you were so delicated and perfect... Seeing the figure of an alien emerge in the darkness behind you, his grip on you tightened— the hug was more important even if he would be punished after for being with you alone. Lowering his head to your shoulder, he whispered to you with a shaking voice, not really wanting to let go "Can we sing together someday...?" ◊▸ IVAN !!
This guy had a pretty calm expression, he believed in you— no, better said he knows youre better than your opponent.
If youre able to make him feel emotions he wasnt able to feel before with your voice, its obvious youre gonna win to that normal guy!
Obviously, a part of him was worried for you, but not that much since its not the first time he hears you sing. He loved to spy on you in the garden and you always had such a beautiful voice that gived him weird goosebumps
He was so captivated by your voice, the way you controlled it, the mix of emotions you putted in it, your facial expressions...he wanted to be the reason for you to show all of that, he wanted to be the reason you express like that, he wanted your attention.
The result of the round flashed on the hologram. A part of him was relieved—he’d get to spend more time with you. But another part couldnt ignore the sadness creeping in, you werent singing anymore, and he loved studying your expressions when you did. It drove him crazy how you seemed to pour everything into the raw emotions behind your screams and vocals, completely ignoring the fear in your opponent's eyes or even the outcome of the battle itself. ⇒ After The Round...
Thanks to your huge win in the stage, your guardian gived you a gift— the freedom of running into the rooftop of their agency to look at the night sky for today. Not an artificial sky or the ceiling of your room, the real one that inspired you to keep going until you were able to escape. Feeling the air hit your face, you taked a deep breath finally outside of the stage. Looking at the sky in a deep silence that soothed the fear of dying... Until you got interrupted by something or better said someone grabbing your shoulders - "Hello!" - You heared Ivan say making you leave a scared yelp "Ivan-! dont do that! imagine if i falled out!" - You said with a small frown since you were almost in the edge of the roof, as always, he dismissed what you said with a small laugh— walking more into your side. He was here since he conviced Unsha to make a negotiation with your guardian or something, just to promote the two genuises of garden ANAKT. "You did great on the stage, i loved those strong moments you had singing, were you mad at something?" - Ivan ask with his usual mischevious smile patting your head, the calm surrounding hitting you both even if he was trying to be playfull Hearing his words, you sighed, resting your weight slightly on his arm. Almost instinctively, he wrapped it around you, holding you close. "No, no… I just thought it would’ve sounded better if I put more emotion into it," you murmured softly. "Ah, I was also a little worried he’d sing over me since he’s known for interrupting his opponents—but thats all." You spoke casually, remembering how you felt on the stage, but Ivan was quick to reassure you that your interruptions with the high notes and all blended perfectly into the song The moment between you two was silent again, with him caressing your shoulder slightly before breaking it again with a small mix of playfulness and sweetness: "Lets stay like this for a moment, i promise to not push you.." ◊▸ LUKA !!
Talking honestly?? i dont think this man would be on the public tbh... But because Heperu doesnt want his star pet to be around common pets even if its to watch a show! He would probably watch you through a screen tho
even if his face doesnt show any emotions he would probably like your voice, a part of him softens slightly for you even if its unnoticeable
Unconsciously, he would start humming the song, trying to mimic the strength of your vocals and wondering if he could reach that scream you did.
Pretty calm about the situation tbh, he was trained to take death as normal and always try to win. So he expects the same for you, he prefers you winning tho more than taking your death normally
Im sorry but from these three he lacks a lot of reaction !! He loves you...in his own weird way!
⇒ After The Round... Luka waited for you in his asigned room, it was normal for you two to meet after the rounds since it bringed hype to the aliens that the "Ruler of the stage" and the possibly new ruler spended time together. Obviously, that bringed a lot of money to your guardians, so its a little treat of them for you two! You entered Luka's room tiredly and he standed up when he felt your presence in the door, walking closer to you. His usual calm and blunt expression bored into you while you wondered what he was thinking about since he usually waits for you to get to his side He grabbed your hand, making your breath hitch as you tensed up, only to be caught off guard when he suddenly decided to bite one of your fingers. You raised an eyebrow in confusion but let out a small laugh, feeling your mood lift slightly. 'Eeeh? Luka, are you perhaps hungry...?' you asked softly, mindful of your voice after such an intense performance Luka taked your finger out of his mouth before looking directly at you, continuing to grab your hand he decided to give you a quick response- "mhm...maybe, can i be hungry of you too?" - He asked like it was a normal question, even if it flustered you a little he didnt seem to care since he meant it in a literal way Sitting on the couch with him, he placed his head on your lap, still holding your hand tightly as he guided it to rest on his head, closing his eyes calmly. Wait a second—werent you the one who won the round? So why is he the one getting the pats?? You sighed in defeat, knowing there was no way to win an argument like that against Luka. He knew all too well that you’d end up spoiling him anyway "Stay like that for now...and move your hand, i let you."
183 notes · View notes
ahllohehn · 7 months ago
Text
HERMITS AND THE OLYMPIANS MASTERPOST (07/31/2024)
------------------
Hermits and The Olympians/Emperors of Olympus is a Hermitcraft/Empires SMP based Percy Jackson AU based off my art and headcanons!
(Please do not use the tags for other PJO AUs as I use them to specifically label what's based off mine.)
------------------
Seperated by art/doodles, headcanons/discussion, fanfics:
# 1 MUMBO PORTRAIT # 2 GRIAN, PEARL, SCAR & MUMBO ART # 3 HaTO FAN CREATION GUIDELINES # 4 GEM, CLEO, DOC PORTRAITS # 5 ETHO & BDUBS THANK YOU CARD # 6 STRESSMONSTER THANK YOU CARD # 7 CAMP EMPIRES FIRST APPEARANCE; BAD BOYS DOODLE # 8 OUTDATED CAMPERS GODLY PARENT SUMMARY # 9 CHIBI MUMBO THANK YOU CARD # 10 GRIAN CLOSE UP # 10.5 WATCHERS CAMEO??? # 11 BDUBS & SCAR; DEMETER CABIN'S HONORARY CAMPER # 12 RENDOG PORTRAIT # 13 MUMSCARIAN / RE: AU SHIPS # 14 IS THERE A CANON PLOT? Answer: I stick with what is canon to me, but I do not force others to follow so. As I am too lazy to do an actual plot. # 15 CHIBI STRESS & MUMBO # 16 BDUBS..? # 17 ETHO PORTRAIT / 1ST AU FICLET # 18 I JUST THINK THEATER KID ARES KID REN IS FUNNY # 19 JOEL AND LIZZIE; SOULMATES IN EVERY UNIVERSE # 20 ORACLE GEM...? # 21 oh snappers! (LOW QUALITY ETHO DOODLE) # 22 AT THIS POINT, DIONYSUS, ARES, AND APOLLO SHOULD FIGHT TO THE DEATH TO SEE WHO GETS CUSTODY OF REN # 23 SKIZZ & IMPULSE PORTRAITS / HEADCANONS # 24 ZEDAPH PORTRAIT
# 25 Camp Oracle’s Journal; Hermits and The Olympians # 26 GRIAN - THE DEATHLY ACTIVITIES MANAGER # 27 ISKALL & TANGO PORTRAITS # 28 KERALIS & XISUMA'S PERSONALLY MADE CAMP PIN # 29 I REALLY LIKE MAKING FUN OF REN /AFFE # 30 I ALSO REALLY LIKE INCLUDING MARTYN INTO THE MIX /AFFE
# 31 TREEBARK ARE MY BOYFAILURES # 32 RENDERED CAMP LOGOS (PNGS IN DISCORD SERVER) # 33 SHELBY & SCOTT PORTRAITS # 34 ETHUBS MY BELOVEDS :) # 35 INTRODUCING: GIGGS # 36 RE: CAMP EMPIRES AND CAMP HERMITCRAFT DOUBLES # 37 LET OLD MEN BOND LIKE OLD MEN (ETHO & TANGO) # 38 OFFICIAL HaTO DISCORD SERVER ANNOUNCEMENT # 39 MYTHICALSAUSAGE PORTRAIT # 40 XISUMA PORTRAIT # 41 HaTO FIRST COMIC SHITPOST # 42 FALSE, KERALIS, & BEEF PORTRAITS # 43 WELS & HYPNO PORTRAITS # 44 MUMSCARIAN FIRST MEETING DOODLE # 45 WHY IS WELS AN ATHENA KID? # 46 HOW IS GEM THE ORACLE # 47 HaTO SECOND COMIC SHITPOST (PRIDE MONTH) # 48 DESERT DUO ANIMATIC; INSPIRED BY BEAN'S TRAITOR SCAR FIC
# 49 MARTYN PORTRAIT / HEADCANONS # 50 IF SCAR WERE TO BE APHRODITE'S.... # 51 REN VS JARS # 52 LIZZIE PORTRAIT # 53 HaTO SCAR & GEM EMOTES # 54 HaTO CHIBIS BOUQUET DOODLE # 55 GRIAN AND HIS SON # 56 KATHERINE ELIZABETH PORTRAIT # 57 MUMSCARIAN MATCHING ICONS FOR PRIDE # 58 HOW ARE YEAR ROUNDERS GETTING EDUCATION? # 59 SHINY DUO MATCHING ICONS # 60 AROACE PEARL (PRIDE MONTH) # 61 BISEXUAL CLEO (PRIDE MONTH) # 62 CAMP CUDDLE SESSIONS # 63 TREEBARK COMEBACK # 64 When Does a Man Become a Monster?; Hermits and The Olympians
# 65 BOAT BOYS MATCHING ICONS # 66 WHAT DOIN'? CAMP HERMITCRAFT EDITION # 67 "I'M A CHILD OF DIVORCE" GESTURES TO ETHUBS # 68 MORE ETHUBS HEADCANONS CUS IM GAY AND SO ARE THEY # 69 DO NOT ANGER THE NON-ZOMBIE WOMAN, MR. ETHO # 70 NATURE WIVES # 71 I COMPLAIN ABOUT THE HEPHAESTUS CABIN'S ABILITIES # 72 TREEBARK MATCHING ICONS # 73 OLI PORTRAIT & HEADCANONS # 74 IT'S NOT ME IF THERE'S NO ETHUBS # 75 WELCOME TO HERMITCRAFT: GRIAN TEXT ADVENTURE # 76 GEM'S ORACLE CAVE TOUR
#77 THE BOYS (+ GEM) GO SHOPPING FOR SUITS #78 PEARL CHARACTER CARD #79 Camper Files; Hermits and The Olympians #80 STRESS PORTRAIT #81 CUBFAN PORTRAIT #82 FWHIP PORTRAIT
#83 PIXLRIFFS PORTRAIT #84 RANCHERS #85 WHY DO I HAVE SO MUCH TREEBARK IN MY INBOX? #86 IDK HOW SAD I'M SUPPOSED TO MAKE SCOTT #87 LONG TIME, NO NATURE WIVES? #88 AREN'T WE ALL A LITTLE SILLY FOR GRIAN SOMETIMES? #89 I HOPE YOU ALL KNOW I JUST BE SAYING ANYTHING ATP
# SECOND MASTERPOST LINK
OTHER HaTO Related Links:
HaTO Roleplay Blogs Masterpost by gem-the-oracle HaTO Archive of Our Own Series HaTO Discord Server
335 notes · View notes
lara4eclipze · 3 months ago
Note
so I was thinking if you could maybe write a Megan × fem reader where they're Roblox girlfriends and decided to meet up irl (idk I just think it would be so cute haha)
“Roblox?”
Tumblr media
— ( 💻 ) "maybe we should meet irl lol" Megan chats , "why not?" you reply
— ( 🎧 ) online dating , fluff , swearing, LEWSERR , cuties , established relationship (girlfriends)
— ( 🎮 ) ackk I love this request!!, it fits Megan so well :)) love you anon!! , made this longer than I expected lololol
stranger danger is something you know and apply in your life — you can never really trust people online especially when you haven't seen how they look or know much about them
but that rule just gets broken whenever you play Roblox , the whole thing of Roblox is meeting and playing games with strangers online
sometimes you're lucky with who you meet but most times not — it was worth the risk for you , instead of getting bored
Mei_Berry05:hii ^^
y/nniee_06: helloo!!
"I love her avatar" you murmur to yourself as she approaches you — your avatar was... something! compared to hers
you were playing adopt me who cares what you wear— but she was cute the way she typed was very nice
Mei_Berry05: can we be friends??
y/nniee_06: yeah sure! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡
and just like that you two became friends, over the span of a few weeks she would always match with you—join the games your playing and buy you robux whenever you wanted a gamepass
ding
she was honestly so cute , but you always wondered how she looked like or how she was in real life god knows she might just be a old man behind the screen
a notification rings your cellphone, it was her!, "can we play mimic??" you read her chat — you weren't really that good in horror games but you'll be with her anyways it's okay
y/nniee_06: Sure!!! — I'll just set up my laptop :))
Mei_Berry05: okayy just join me when you're ready
"okay meii" you replied as if she was listening to you , you open your laptop blinded by the screen brightness
you join the game greeted by her jumping and emoting Infront of you , you giggle as you see her reaction
Mei_Berry05: hi!! ^_^
y/nniee_06: heyyoo! , lets play :]
Mei_Berry05: okay follow me
she chats jumping up and down in the game , the game was fun and very hard — you had to repeat the same level almost 7 times , megan practically carried you throughout the game , soon enough you felt very bored of the game the overuse of jumpscares just made you sick of it
Mei_Berry05: wanna play adopt me?
Mei_Berry05: please?? :((
you can practically see her frowning even in real life so you immediately agreed — plus as immature as it sounds you loved adopt me
y/nniee_06: okayy , join me! <3
you type enthusiastically on your laptop , the keyboard was beat up by the amount of times you typed this fast and hard
the game was fun you both scammed some kids , and bought the recent egg the ocean egg , hatched it and got a legendary octopus!
Mei_Berry05: soo can I ask you something?
y/nniee_06: yeahh? why what is it??
Mei_Berry05: can you be my g!rlfri3nd? :>
you were taken a back, maybe because you didn't expect it or more on because you two only knew each other online and it's not even on social media but on roblox
y/nniee_06: YESS!! , so can we? match fits?!?
you chat back smiling to yourself in real life — you wait as she types in chat
Mei_Berry05: YAYY (⁠ノ⁠≧⁠∇⁠≦⁠)⁠ノ⁠ , yes we could match fits!! ### sm
you laugh as her chat gets tagged , it was three letters so probably "ily" i love you , aww
"pulling a girl , but in roblox" you chuckle to yourself , the first relationship you had was built in roblox not only that but in adopt me
weeks and weeks pass by and not a single one ended without you two playing some random game on Roblox sometimes you both just chat about your day— you didn't know much about her other than she was in Hawaii and she loves dancing
Mei_Berry05: I'm actually in LA rn!
y/nniee_06: oogofmdi I live in LA WDYMMM?? UR HERE?
your heart was about to jump out of your chest with how excited you were , were you gonna meet her finally?
Mei_Berry05: maybe we should meet irl!!
y/nniee_06: why not?
and just like that you two started planning where and when you two would meet it was nerve wracking to say the least — you were gonna see your girlfriend! , but you weren't sure if it was safe..
"I'm so nervous what the fuck" you mutter to yourself as you wait for her , you both agreed to meet in the local café near you , you sat down and already ordered a croissant and a iced mocha
everytime someone new entered the cafe your heart raced , but then she walked in — she had this calming and soft aura to herself
"hi! — y/n!!!" she exclaims as you wave your hand at her , she runs up to you hugging you
"hi mei!" you replied back , she was so cute , the slight tint of pink to her cheeks and that cute smile gosh your actually gonna die
you two talk about life and other things laughing at the first time you two met , and how you two were girlfriends in roblox
after a long day you two walk in the breezy night , with ice cream to both your hands , her fingers interlocked with you as if she's afraid you'll float away
"i love you , i really do" megan whispers loud enough for you to hear , "I never would've imagined how much I'll love you more when I met you"
"I love you too—promise me you'll visit me more often 'kay?" you replied as you felt all warm inside a contrast to the cold whether
as you stop in front of the city fountain you lean your head onto her shoulders, enjoying the quiet company she provided, the warmth she made you feel
you look at her , she looks at you her face scrunched up as she tries to analyze what you were thinking — a beat passes by and you meet her lips with yours , hers was sweet and soft it felt right it was right
she smiles into the kiss , and holds onto your nape prolonging it , "I love you" megan mutters your foreheads pressed against each other , "I love you too" you replied
186 notes · View notes
genderlessdude92 · 10 months ago
Text
PRECIOUS
Tumblr media
PAIRINGS: Alastor x Reader
SUMMARY: You and Alastor get into a fight because you’re just worried he got hurt after a fight with Vox. He snaps at you and…well, you isolate yourself. whoopsies!
WARNINGS: Emotional abuse, Toxic relationship dynamics (but they both love each other dw), Intense emotional distress, Language, Potential Triggers, Donestic conflict. (MAJOR FLUFF AT THE END THOUGH!!! ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIP!!!) They were a couple alive too if you don’t mind idk i suck at writing- USAGE OF Y/N I ALMOST FORGOT AHHH- Lmk if i missed anything :3
NOTICE: please don't copy or steal or translate any of my work or you will be haunted in your dreams and i will spawn something unpleasant at your porch the next day. But...thanks for liking my work !! >.< Property of @l4zyb0n35 and @genderlessdude92
Requests are open, support is highly appreciated!
WORDS: 1.7k
〰ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ..。.:*・゚♫₊ ♪ *♬‧₊enjoy!~
“Alastor, are you serious?!” You yelled as Alastor started to walk away from you, mid conversation.
Alastor had just gotten into a big fight with Vox, luckily survived, though. The frustrating part is, he won’t even let you heal him. Or know what the battle was even about?!
Which made you really, really paranoid.
“Alastor, don’t walk away from me, that’s rude.” You caught up with him and began to match his pace and he walked to the halls of the hotel to lucifer knows where. “We need to talk about this.” You say firmly. “I’m going to find out one way or another.” You add, raising your voice slightly.
Alastor stopped walking and turned around to face you. He was looking down at you, which always made you feel so small. Even if he wasn’t actually looking at you, you could still feel it.
“Well, then.” His voice was calm, but a hint of annoyance was there. “Aren’t you just invested in my little public hiccup.”He crossed his arms, waiting for your response.
“Yes I am. And I think we should talk about it, instead of you getting defensive.” You looked him dead in the eye and kept talking. “And why you didn’t tell me.” Your voice went quieter again.
Alastor hid a chuckle, “I thought you would care more about me surviving, than knowing how many lives I took today.” He raised his eyebrow, mocking you. “Or maybe, I don’t want to share this kind of information with someone who will judge me for it.” He was now fully annoyed by you.
You stepped closer to him, trying to keep him from leaving again. “Alastor, please stop. I’m just trying to help. I don’t…” You trailed off nervously. “I don’t want us fighting.”
Alastor smirked at you, “Oh, don’t worry love. We aren’t fighting. Yet.” His tone was harsh and he leaned down to look you in the eyes. “But I will if you continue to harass me about this.”
You felt yourself start to panic, but tried your best to hide it. “I’m sorry Alastor, I just…” You couldn’t finish your sentence, as he interrupted you.
“No. Don’t ‘just’ anything. You know I hate that word.” He said with a cold smile. “Now leave me alone before I get upset with you.”
“…You know,” You began, standing in your place as Alastor walked away, “You should at least act like you care about my opinion, maybe act like a husband, as well.” You snapped back, but in a more calm, collected tone. (minus the shakiness in your voice.)
“That’s rich coming from you.” Alastor snapped back, turning around to face you again. “What did I ever do to deserve such a self-righteous wife?” He raised his voice a bit, but not enough for others to hear. “How dare you assume things about me without even asking. How dare you come here and make demands of me. How dare you try to control me.” He continued yelling, walking towards you. “You have no right to tell me what to do! I don’t have to explain myself to you!”
“I’m not trying to control you. I’m just saying, maybe you could at least consider what I have to say sometimes…” You tried to say bravely, but failed at the end. You felt so small. So insignificant.
You felt like nothing.
Alastor was now right in front of you, towering above you. His height and stature were intimidating, but his voice was worse. It was rough and demanding, making you feel like you weren’t worth anything. “You are nothing, nothing compared to me.” He sneered. “I don’t give a damn about what you think. What you say. What you do. You’re just a pathetic little sinner who has no idea what real power feels like. You’re not worthy of my time. You’re not worthy of my attention. You’re not worthy of my love.” He spat out the last word like it tasted sour in his mouth.
His words were cutting through your heart, and you couldn’t take it anymore.
You dashed away to the nearest staircase, needing to get to your office. Your only safe space.
***
It has been about a week now since the fight you and Alastor had.
It had also been a week since you came out of your office.
You didn’t really leave your office because, one, it had a fridge of food and other things. Two, you had a makeshift bed with the couch. And three, why would you even go out there?
Only problem is, you’ve cried everyday, and that made you feel like complete imp-shit.
You really wanted to see Alastor, but you knew it wouldn’t end well.
You also didn’t want to be around anyone else, either.
***
Alastor was a gentleman to all women who deserved so.
An example he would give you is Rosie. He’s a gentleman to her because she’s nice to him and has manners. She deserves it.
But, if he was near Velvette, he would call her cruel names and shred all her ‘designer masterpieces’.
But, now he was confused.
What happened with Y/N?
He had never fought like that with her before no, usually she would be next to him in bed right now.
He was starting to miss her.
…he needed to give her an apology.
But he knew he wasn’t good with words.
So, he brainstormed.
“I could probably give her a heart…” He thought, stepping out of bed and pondering for a moment, “…no, no….maybe…some flowers?…” he looked over to his bayou. “…Allergies.”
He slumped onto his armchair and looked around his room for any ideas at all.
“…maybe some candy? No.” He thought, “She doesn’t eat much sweets.”
He sat there for a while longer, thinking.
Then it hit him.
***
You heard footsteps outside your door, and immediately froze. You looked around your room for any escape route, and found none. You decided to sit back down on your couch, and began to wait for whoever was there to leave.
The footsteps stopped outside your door, and a knock sounded out. “Y/N, open the door.” Alastor’s voice was stern and commanding. “I know you’re in there.” He added.
You opened the door slowly, and peeked out to see who it was.
“Hello, darling.” Alastor said with a warm smile. “Can I come in?”
You just stared at him, saying nothing
‘fuck’, he thought, ‘i caused this.”
“Y/N, I just want to apologize.” He finally said, breaking the silence. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you. I was wrong.”
“…you don’t mean that.” You replied, still not moving.
“I do mean it, darling. Please jsut…let me in.” Alastor said sincerely, taking a step forward.
You hesitated for a moment, then moved aside to let him in. He closed the door behind him and stood there awkwardly for a few seconds, unsure of what to do or say next.
Then, your eyes wandered to the large picture album he was holding to his side.
“Alastor…what’s that?” You asked, taking a step back cautiously.
“…it’s our picture album.” He looked at you, remaining calm. “…from…when we were alive. You know, with all those crappy photos.” He smiled softly.
You looked up at him, “…I’m scared.”
Alastor knew exactly why, as well.
He sighed, “I promise…I will keep myself contained if i ever, ever lash out like that… ever again.” He claimed, tears building up in his eyes.
“What i said back there was not true at all. You are everything to me, you are worth so much, and most of all, I love you.” He dropped the book to the floor and held out his arms to hug you.
You didn’t move, “…I don’t want to be here…” You said, letting a tear fall.
He nodded, “That’s okay, dear, let’s go to our room, okay?” He reassured, picking the book back up and holding you tight to his waist as the shadows consumed you both, talking you to his room.
***
You and Alastor missed this.
Limbs tangled together in bed, holding each other close, breathing in each other’s scents, you wish you had this sooner.
Alastor flipped a page of the album, “Oh look,” He noticed, pointing his claws to the first picture in the album, “It’s our cat, oh, what was his name again?” He asked, looking at you.
You were still crying.
He took a deep breath, “Y/n,” he exhaled, “It’s okay, dear…please don’t think about it.”
You looked at him, “w-what?” you said, wiping your cheek.
He ran a claw through your hair, “Nothing.” He said, smiling softly.
You put your head on his shoulder, “Okay,” you mumbled into his chest, closing your eyes and enjoying his scent.
He stroked your hair, “Do you remember our wedding day?” He asked.
You shook your head, “…no, I don’t…it was too long ago…” you said, sniffling.
He kissed the top of your head, “That’s alright, sweetheart, we have plenty of time to talk about it.” He assured you, pulling you closer to him.
You closed your eyes, listening to the sound of his heartbeat. You felt safe in his arms. Safe and loved.
Alastor flipped the pages until he found the wedding pictures, “Oh, here we are. Look, see how my mother walked you through the aisle?” He rubbed the picture with his thumb, rethinking back the memory.
“…yeah…I remember now…” You snuggled closer into him, trying to control your ragged breathing.
“…just breathe daring.” He reminded you, “Look here, you see how much you’ve changed?” He laughed softly, flipping another page, “See here? Here you are at our anniversary dinner, you wore that beautiful dress that made your legs look amazing.” He blushed lightly, “I remember you told me I was the only one allowed to see it.”
You giggled, “…that was a joke, silly.” You said, opening your eyes and smiling up at him.
“Ah, yes, I know.” He smiled back,
“…You’re so precious to me, y’know that?” He said, leaning down and kissing your forehead.
¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩
END NOTES: Idk what i was thinking when i made this fic erm…! Idk I’ve been going thru some shit rn but I’ve gotta impress the community because the notes/likes/comments/reblogs on my posts aren’t doing to good rn!! Oh no!!! (that is a sign from my greedy ass) And i just started a multi-chapter fic so like idk why i’m typing this- support is appreciated. BAI!!![![![11!
-Lynn ¸¸♬·¯·♩¸¸♪·¯·♫¸¸¸♬·¯·♩ Masterlist Link
Tumblr media
403 notes · View notes
punksocks · 1 year ago
Text
Astro Observations No. 21
*just based off of my personal experiences, only take what resonates
Tumblr media
-Capricorn Moon/Moon conjunct/opposition/square Saturn could point to parents trying to control the native for financial gain
-Asc square mars can make the native appear intimidating and aggressive
-I feel like Virgo placements tend to have a lot of secret admirers… and I don’t have a why lol just a gut feeling (maybe it’s because of how they always seem on top of things, but this can make them kinda unapproachable for some people ? Idk)
Tumblr media
-Are Sagittarius placements (especially in the big 6) usually late to appointments and dates or is it just me…
-Mercury square/opposition Jupiter could point to a lot of people thinking you never say enough/always say too much in convertation
-Venus square/opposition to Saturn may point to a lot of unrequited love interests, especially before the native is 25
-Is anything more double Capricorn (sun & moon) than both of your parents being cold, distant, and disappointing lol :0 (yeah I’m fine lol)
-Sagittarius placements make a joke out of everything lol, that’s why gen z jokes about death and depression so much lol Pluto in sag bby
Tumblr media
-Aquarius can show where you tend to want really unique things (7th could want a really stand out partner to settle down with, 4th could aspire to have unique families dynamics, 11th could point to wanting unique friends, etc)
-My ex had Aquarius in 6th and he always wanted a unique looking pet lol (Every time he saw a hairless cat or a dog with 3 legs he was like let’s adopt them lol) -also totally didn’t expect it for a Virgo rising lol
-Your planets in 12th can show where things become murky and unclear (Mercury in 12th you make have trouble hearing and understanding the words people are saying, Mars in 12th you may have trouble understanding your anger/perceiving your intimate compatibility with people, Moon in 12th you may have difficulty with naming your emotions and understanding them and trouble knowing what you’re sensitive to, Venus in 12th could mean that you tend to unknowingly catch crushes and people have unrequited crushes on you, Sun in 12th really impacts your sense of self and how you perceive yourself.)
-Cancer placements in guys manifest as either their mother’s opinion meaning everything or like less than nothing I noticed (especially in dating, a cancer Venus/mars will either fall for someone because they’re just like their mother or bc they’re the complete opposite of their mother. It’s never accidental lol)
Tumblr media
-Libra MC may be an advocate for social justice and could use any attention on them to further push these causes (turns out Malcolm X was a Libra MC, which is interesting bc he was so big on like standing up for the community and returning violence with justice).
-Another civil rights leader placement I noticed? Moon conjunct Venus (Martin Luther King Jr & Fred Hampton both had this, in water signs I think) which imo points to being emotionally invested in harmony and harmonious relationships.
- They also both had Taurus north node which made them empathetic and determined to be committed to advocating for peace but the Scorpio south node obviously made people (especially people in power) very vengeful towards them
Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
dee-writes-anime · 5 months ago
Note
YAHO FINALLY FOUND YOU IDK HOW BUT I LOST YOU AND BEEN SCROLLING FOR LIKE A GOOD 5 MINUTES TO FIND YOU,
ANYWAYSYSYSYSY
Megumi x reader argument angst to fluff, *dies* your writing too good I know you'll feed me good with this one
I Couldn't Handle it if You Left Me
Tumblr media
FEATURING Megumi Fushiguro x Reader
SUMMARY He's just so overprotective
CONTENT WARNINGS angst to fluff, Megumi being scared to lose us :(, some shouting, descriptions of arguments, mentions of loss, grief
AUTHORS NOTE I've missed you, sweet anon! I hope I cooked with this one! Short and sweet just for you <3
Tumblr media
The room felt suffocating, the tension between you and Megumi thick and almost tangible. You stood across from him, your chest tight with the weight of words that had been building for far too long. Megumi’s face was as unreadable as ever, his expression cold and distant, but his eyes—they gave him away. They always did. Behind the calm façade, there was a storm raging, and you could feel it.
“Why do you always push me away?” The tremble in your voice betrayed how deeply this hurt, how much you needed him to answer. You tried to keep your tone steady, but the frustration and pain spilled over, raw and undeniable. “I’m not some helpless person you need to protect. I’m right here with you, Megumi. I can fight too.”
His jaw clenched tightly, and you saw his hand curl into a fist at his side, the tension radiating through him. “It’s not about what you can do,” he replied, his voice cold and measured, as if he was trying to rein in his own emotions. “It’s about what’s safer. For you.”
“Safer?” You let out a bitter, disbelieving laugh, shaking your head. “Do you even hear yourself? I’ve been fighting right alongside you for months, Megumi. I’ve trained. I’ve bled. What makes you think I can’t handle this?”
He remained silent, but his body language screamed with tension, his eyes flickering with something he wouldn’t say aloud. It was always like this. Every time you were involved in a mission, Megumi tried to shield you, to protect you from the worst of it, and while you understood his concern, it made you feel small. Useless. Like you were just another burden he had to carry.
Finally, his control cracked, and his voice, sharp with frustration, lashed out. “It’s not the same,” he snapped, the anger slipping through the cracks in his calm. “I don’t want you involved in this mess, alright? You don’t understand what could happen—what could happen to you.”
“Stop treating me like a child!” The words left your mouth before you could stop them, your own anger boiling over. “I’m not fragile! You keep telling me I don’t understand, but how can I when you never talk to me? When you keep locking me out of your life, pushing me away like I don’t matter.”
His face twisted, something dark flashing in his eyes. “I’m trying to keep you alive!” he shouted, the volume of his voice shocking in the small space, as if the weight of his fear had finally burst through. “Do you know what it’s like to see the people you care about get hurt? Do you know how many people I’ve lost? I can’t—” He cut himself off, his breath coming out in shallow, angry bursts. “I can’t lose you too.”
His words hung heavy in the air, and suddenly the pieces fell into place. The way he always hovered just a little too close when you were on a mission. The way he stepped in when he didn’t need to, putting himself in danger just to make sure you didn’t have to fight alone. It was suffocating, the way he kept trying to protect you, as if you weren’t capable of standing on your own.
“I get that you’re scared, Megumi,” you said, your voice quieter now but no less firm. “I know what you’ve been through. I know you’ve lost people. But I’m not them. I’m here. I’ve been here, and I’m not going anywhere. But if you keep trying to control everything, if you keep shutting me out, you’re going to lose me anyway.”
His breath hitched, and he turned his back to you, running a hand through his hair in frustration. You could see the tremble in his hand, the way his shoulders were tense with the weight of everything he was holding in. “You don’t understand,” he said again, his voice strained, like it was taking everything in him to keep it together. “You don’t know what it’s like, seeing someone you care about lying on the ground, hurt or worse, because you couldn’t protect them.”
You took a step closer, your heart aching for him, for the boy who carried the world on his shoulders, who had been forced to grow up too fast. “I do know,” you said, your voice soft but steady. “I’ve seen you hurt, Megumi. I’ve watched you throw yourself into danger, over and over again, without thinking about the consequences. Do you know how terrifying that is? To see you like that and not be able to do anything?”
He didn’t answer, but you could see the way his body stiffened, the way his breathing had quickened. The silence between you was thick with everything he wasn’t saying, with the fear and guilt he refused to let out. Finally, he turned back to face you, his expression hard, but his eyes—his eyes were filled with something much deeper.
“I don’t know how to do this,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “I don’t know how to keep you safe without pushing you away.”
The vulnerability in his voice broke your heart, and you felt your own anger slowly dissolve into something more tender, something that ached with the need to reach him. “You don’t have to figure it out alone,” you said, stepping even closer until you were standing just inches away from him. “I’m here, Megumi. I’m not going anywhere. But you have to trust me. You have to let me help.”
His gaze dropped to the floor, his hands still clenched at his sides. “It’s not about trust,” he muttered. “It’s about what’s at stake. You don’t know how many nights I’ve stayed awake thinking about all the ways things could go wrong, all the ways I could lose you.” His voice cracked slightly, and he inhaled sharply, trying to regain control. “If something happened to you because of me...”
“Nothing’s going to happen to me,” you interrupted softly. “Not because of you. You’re not responsible for everyone’s safety all the time, Megumi. You can’t control everything. But if you keep treating me like I’m something fragile that needs to be protected from the world, you’re going to push me away. I don’t want to be a burden to you. I want to be your partner.”
For a long moment, he didn’t say anything. His breathing was shallow, his fists unclenching slowly as he processed your words. You could see the war going on inside him, the conflict between his need to protect you and his realization that he couldn’t keep you in a bubble forever. Slowly, almost hesitantly, he lifted his eyes to meet yours.
“I’m scared,” he whispered, his voice so quiet it was barely audible. “I’m scared of losing you.”
Your heart broke for him, and without thinking, you closed the remaining distance between you, gently cupping his face in your hands. His skin was warm under your touch, but his body was still tense, like he was afraid to let go. “You’re not going to lose me,” you said, your voice soft but filled with conviction. “I’m right here. And I’m not leaving.”
His eyes closed, and for the first time, you saw the walls he’d built around himself start to crumble. Slowly, tentatively, he reached up and covered your hands with his, holding onto you like you were the only thing grounding him in that moment.
“I don’t know how to do this,” he admitted again, his voice raw and vulnerable in a way you’d never heard before. “But I don’t want to keep pushing you away.”
You smiled softly, brushing a thumb across his cheek. “We’ll figure it out together,” you promised. “No more shutting me out, no more trying to protect me from everything. We face this together. Okay?”
He nodded slowly, and you could feel the tension in his body start to ease, his grip on you tightening just slightly, as if he was afraid to let go. “Okay,” he whispered, his voice shaky but sincere.
You leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to his forehead, feeling the warmth of his breath as he exhaled softly, the tension between you finally dissolving into something softer, something full of understanding.
“I’m not going anywhere,” you whispered, resting your forehead against his. “I promise.”
And this time, when he looked at you, you knew he believed you.
Tumblr media
210 notes · View notes