#and another friend hasnt responded to messages grom earlier
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if I can be honest lol I feel like shit and lowkey like everyone hates me because I'm so annoying:/
#i literally havent told anyone except my therapist about exactly why the past few months have been so bad#and i had plans Wednesday with friends i havent seen since November#and i was going to tell them#i finally felt ready to#and they both canceled#and another friend hasnt responded to messages grom earlier#and i know theyre busy but with the cancelation its just making me feel like i suck and i should just never try to be vulnerable ever again#plus Another gc is where some friends were planning out 30th bday trip and onr of the friends#changed the gamr plan to us 4 girls to ... 3 couples and me#and im... actually really hurt? l#that shed think an acceptable alternative to a girls trip (that we havent done since 2016) is 3 girls with their husbands.. and me#and i know things have been terrible for months and the complete burnout and emotional turmoil isnt helping my reaction#but i just feel like all my friends hate me and i have no purpose in their life and they dont wanna see me or care about me at all#i know thats dramatic and juvenile but i am too tired to be emotionally mature#i cant believe i didnt tell anyone for months#and i was finally ready to#and both friends canceled dinner because they double booked even though we made these plans 4 weeks ago#idk i just realized this morning that ive isolated a lot the past few months#and it's almost all because of what's been going in and to have friends bail just when i was resdy to confide in them...#obviously they have no way of knowing this dinner Meant something to me but i vant help the regressive takeaway that i was right and i#should never be vulnerable because my friends don't care#anf i don't deserve (?) to have have that support system#me
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