#idk why im thinking ab this

[maletomboy]

the way ppl assume uncommon triggers cant be triggers is almost kindof funny..... like i told a guy once i couldn't listen to jazz and he was being super pushy about me "just trying it" so i told him it was a ptsd trigger and he started making fun of me like im a sensitive snowflake who will call anything i dont like a trigger, so i told him the actual reason and he immediately switched to being like "oh man im so sorry nvm"

like idk can we maybe be nicer to people with ptsd without making them explain their traumas everytime lol

[blighted-lights]

so i've been thinking about these panels specifically a bit more lately and i actually kind of like this scene a bit more than i did before. megatron is offering ravage an out here. and thinking about it, this is likely the first time in a long, long time that anyone has actually cared what ravage wanted when it comes to the decepticons and his place among them. this isn't to say of course that others simply don't care what ravage thinks, but there is no one in ravage's life who would even think to ask him if he wants to be part of the cause anymore. he is ravage; his devotion to the cause is always assumed to be strong simply because of who he is. or at the very least his devotion to soundwave is always assumed. and of course megatron had to be the one to do it, because megatron is one of the few who has said yes to the very same question he's given to ravage.

the other notable example is, of course, when deadlock decided to leave the decepticons and become drift again. ravage's choice to remain seperate from the decepticons isn't as dramatic or complete as drift's or megatron's, but the fact that he chose to remain with megatron on a ship full of autobots rather than to rejoin soundwave's efforts to rebuild the decepticons on earth with galvatron even when it becomes clear that his mission is over... idk. i think it means something. and im not saying "ravage was considering joining the autbots like drift and megs" because you'd honestly have to kill him before he ever did that and he still clearly sees himself as being seperate from the autobots, but idk. im not as against this scene as i was before now that i'm really thinking about it. we're never given a solid reason why ravage decides to stay and it's never expanded upon in later issues, but him using this as an opportunity to "get out" when he's never really been given the chance before to leave (either due to his own obligation/affection towards soundwave, belief in the cause, inability to leave due to the sheer danger leaving the cons would bring him, ect) is Important to Me™️

and he could always claim he was lingering with the lost light to continue keeping an eye on megatron, even though megatron has said he isn't willing to return to the cons and seems pretty damn convinced of it. i still wish we got to see him talk more about the cons in general because of just how intense his intro is:

buuut ravage using this as an opportunity seperate from the cons while using the excuse that he is still watching megatron is a thought that's been fun to chew on for the past little while, so i thought i'd share it.

[mintypsii]

one piece x steven universe au where instead of being a crystal gem, luffy is sort of a rogue who flies around in a spaceship adventuring through space and making/recruiting friends on different planets and gem colonies, he was inspired by earthlings and now he wants to live freely without the constraints of gem roles and expectations (tagging this with #gem piece)

[gomacave]

First love

[lemongogo]

college … wasted on the youth (me)

[yakultii]

What's the favourite photo you've taken? - they're all so nice!! 💕

awww thank you sm !! <33 tbh I don’t really find any one photo too significant as of yet, not to say they aren’t nice to have but real life moments are nicer :)

these aren’t necessarily my fav photos but could argue might be my favourite “vibes”

this one was taken with a digital point and shoot — while it may be argued objectively shitty and I’m completely aware a toddler could replicate it, I think this is why I love it. the fact that it just is what it is. the untouched scene naturally tells its own story, rather than needing to curate one yourself. I personally find it’s more than just something to look at. this stripped back style evokes more emotion for me than others and I love how the darker lighting does not dull its life. I mean this is all subjective. I personally don’t think this style is the best for every photo (or maybe it could be) but I really like when it works out. as someone who feels disconnected from my own existence a lot of the time, I like that I can live through it a little, as I believe it to be as close to a reflection of my interpretation of the society we live in as possible. while it wouldn’t really matter if this particular photo got deleted. never to be seen again, I’d never know the feeling of this particular moment, until I felt it in real life again. obviously I didn’t quite know all this when randomly taking it while bored on the train but I think that’s the only reason it turned out this way which is even more warming.

but of course, maybe more so than anything, I love my trusty film <3 point and shoot ofc — these photos alongside the header of this blog, again very little effort but somewhat significant of a story. I guess what I’m trying to say is that I like when I’m able to capture a simple image that tells a story/evokes emotion (again, whether or not it portrays a story may be subjective). Especially with minimal effort, cause in my opinion if it’s perfect as is, then surely it’s worth taking a photo of. Film is more reliable to me at this point of my life, while I’m not very experienced (in any kind of photography really) I think it’s hard to fail, in fact I feel as though it almost exceeds my expectations. As someone who has never been any good at technical aspects of any form of art (or the patience to pursue them), I find film enables me to curate something to a standard of which I couldn’t ask for anything better of myself. Not to mention the process of developing etc. meaning I really have to stop and envision my image more so than with digital, which is basically an act of mindfulness (something I’m also usually very bad at). I’m pretty sure the Coca Cola photo was the first photo I ever took on film in 2020 lockdown (besides a barbie disposal I got for xmas as a kid that my parents were mad at me for quickly “wasting” and never to be developed). what I love about all these photos is that I believe I was able to zoom in on (no pun intended, because actually I didn’t) seemingly insignificant moments in life happening all around me so that they could later be recognised as something more. again, in my mind, my life feels very fragile at the best of times so I like that I can hold onto things a little longer when I’m alone. I’m so so glad film has stuck around and I hope I one day fix my favourite film camera and can take more photos like these!

again, hella subjective and have found most people I know to have very different preferences in what photos they think look and feel best, but as of right now these are mine :)

[gay-strawberry]

bitches dont talk to you for months because of "anxiety" then you suddenly get a text and shes asking if you think its weird shes never seen any fanart of hellboy and abe kissing on this app

[anna-kitsun3]

Inhales

[ajdrawshq]

i can almost guarantee ive said it before but. he would thrive in a zero escape game

[hanaasbananas]

on arranged marriages

it's funny. mums been in the whatsapp rishta groups for years looking for someone i might marry. she'll send me a profile once in a while and ask what i think, if she should contact his parents or not and most of the time i say yeah, alright. nothing ever comes of it though, so when my dad calls me after work and says mum spoke to him about a rishta she's thinking of moving forward with i'm intrigued, but not particularly invested.

mum's really picky, i tell him. this probably won't go anywhere but we may as well see it through, right? dad is hesitant, but agrees when i say that i do want an arranged marriage.

but then things do move forward and the next thing i know, he is going to visit us with his parents. on the day, my uncle picks me up from work so i don't have to walk. you don't have to make a decision today, he tells me. this is just a first visit. my cousin helps me get ready and i am reminded of the similar scene in the movie vivah. nothing has to happen today, she tells me you guys are just meeting today. the thought does nothing to settle the nerves roiling in my stomach and i try to go back to my room three times instead of going downstairs until my cousin practically shoves me down them.

i enjoy meeting his mum, even though she immediately clocks my nervous clasping and unclasping of my bracelet. she hugs me as if i'm her own daughter and is so happy to see me that my heart lightens. eventually, we go to the other sitting room where the men are sitting-where he is. my nerves flare up again but he doesn't look up from his hands clasped in his lap when we walk in.

too nervous to speak, i only answer say anything when a question is directed at me and try to sneak quick glances at him across the room instead. his mum catches me more than once and smiles knowingly at me. we meet each others eyes only once for a split second and it makes my heart pound rapidly in my chest. when he speaks, i force myself to look at anyone other than him. he has a nice voice, my brain whispers and i bite my tongue, hard.

they leave, and we say they'll know our decision after a couple months. i know what my answer will be though. later, when they get back home and his mum calls my mum, i stand outside the door to eavesdrop, my heart in my throat but i can't stop my grin when i hear his mum say he's happy to go ahead with this, because there was a part of me that still worried he'd see me in person and go NOPE. she suggests that we get to know each other over the next few months and i silently beg my mum to agree. i know that where she is from, in her tradition, the bride and groom speak once or twice before the wedding if they're lucky, and that things are still done that way back home, but just as im gearing up to argue against that, she agrees. it's a miracle!

of course, chronically shy person that i am, the thought of our first conversation taking place on our mums phones is terrifying so instead i ask to get his number so we can text first. she sends his number but theres no way i'm texting first so i send them my number and thankfully he gets the hint and texts me first. i hope you don't mind me texting, i'm just shy still. i say. that's fine, he reassures me. we have time.

time, as it turns out. flies. it doesn't take long to move from texts to voice notes, to phone calls. he really does have a nice voice, i find out, and its not as awkward as i thought it would be. i didn't actually think that we'd talk that much, maybe once a week at most and yet...

i almost cried last night because we were talking about going to Pakistan together next summer and I remembered how when I was a teenager I used to daydream about going to Pakistan with my spouse and visiting all my family with him.

then over the years I sort of gave up on that idea because I'm not the type to go out and meet someone and in the desi arranged marriage market whose gonna choose me?

and now I'm 26, and we talk multiple times a day and when I catch myself thinking oh he isn't really interested, he's just talking to me because he has to to get to know me, why would anyone actually like me?? I find myself countering with well actually if that was the case why would he start calling you every day? how come you went from one call a day ending with 'i'll talk to you tomorrow' to him calling you on his way home from work and 'i'll call you after dinner' when he gets home to a THIRD call after maghrib right before bed? those are not the actions of a man who is uninterested!!

hanaas insecurities- 0, hanaas logic- 1

anyway idk where this is going except i never thought i'd be this excited and happy when it came time for me to get married but here i am and it is SO SCARY to realise that i am maybe possibly (definitely) falling for him but wow, and like? (literally the other day i was telling him a story from when i was a kid and the story had such a silly ending but it was unexpected and he laughed really hard in surprise and it made my heart almost explode i swear its so fun to make him laugh)

but like there's SO MANY logistics i'm restarting my driving lessons so i can pass before i move and i literally just got my new job in april but i'm gonna have to give my notice lmao and i've already started looking for new jobs but GAH so much stuff is happening and yet at the same time i feel so calm about it all it's wild i'm just vibing trying to enjoy my summer holidays and having the highlights of my day being when he calls lmaooo

[ranboard]

chimkens

[toytulini]

saw fanart yesterday that i was ehh on

but it brought me to the conclusion that, if shrek was a lesbian, if shrek was a woman, i think she would be exactly the same as canon movie shrek, actually, and in fact. to the point, she would be so indistinguishable, that i can no longer be convinced that canon movie shrek isnt a he/him lesbian, and im excited to rewatch all the movies through the lens of percieving shrek this way. i think it will be based. excited.

[louismygf]

just recently watched this is us with my college friends

[miiconsole]

no matter how much I love pitaya (a whole lot) i probably wouldn’t eat dragon fruit. it looks pretty but apparently it’s not good . especially with how it’s described it doesn’t sound like my cup of tea

[transgendercastiel]

it’s so hard out here as an abedison disliker

[netripper]

shaved his neck cuz idk