#idk why i'm typing all of this all i was gonna say was
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letmeoutofthebasementt · 13 hours ago
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SKZ getting cheated on (Hyung Line + Han)
(How long it’ll take them to find out on their own, how they’d react, if they’d break up or not)
Chan
Honestly, it'd probably take him a while to realize. Because, for one, he'd probably feel very stable in his relationship and his place in his partner's life. He has that "They'd never because they NEED me" kinda mentality. The longer they've been together the less likely he is to find out organically unless he full-on catches them in the act. He also feels like his relationships are very solid at their core. Another big issue is to be entirely sure his partner is cheating, he needs to break free of delusions. It would also just be far too much for him if he did suspect it because he'd be afraid he'd lose his partner for even daring to think something like that. I think he'd also...Take things for granted? Like, "I have you there's no way you'd ever leave or want anything more/else" type of thing. Everything's familiar. And he doesn't take into account that anything could possibly happen.
If he finds out he got cheated on, he'd immediately tell his friends and seek comfort in them. I'm also getting he's the type who'd cheat on his partner to get his lick back or something. Cheating is something Chan can't get past, so he'd definitely leave them. He'd feel hopeless, and his entire life would probably momentarily crash and burn. I think he'd also be really frustrated and it'd ruin his trust in everyone in his life. He'd also push down and suppress a lot of things. Because of that, the feelings of hurt and anger and resentment can easily fester because he didn't allow himself to acknowledge them or hash them out.
Lee Know
Idk why I immediately thought of ice spice
Specifically that like "You think you the shit, bitch? You not even the fart." I don't even like her or that song
BUT ANYWAYS
He'd know quickly. You can't HIDE that from this man. Trust he'll find out ASAP. Because, one, his intuition is on a whole other level. Two, he'd immediately know if something's off. Whether that be your location being off or somewhere it's not supposed to, etc. Even if you think you're slick he'll FIND a tell one way or another. I'm also a firm believer he goes through phones. I'm talking every nook and cranny of that phone including your EMAILS. He's finding that shit one way or another and you're lucky if there's a 24 hour window of time where he doesn't know about it. He'll find a way to figure it out.
In terms of how he'd react...He'd definitely find out on his own, so there'd be this 'Aha!' moment. Because he knew he wasn't going crazy. He's going to figure out every nitty gritty detail of the cheating with PRINTED OUT laminated receipts with copies just incase. He's definitely gonna confront his partner. And trust he's going to have a boost of confidence figuring it out. Definitely not the type who blames himself. He's also probably telling everyone and their mother. And YOUR mother. He sees it as a battle won and everyone needs to hear about the victory.
He has a 50/50 chance of leaving, though. On ONE hand, while trust is very important to him he'd also feel a sense of...I don't want to say ownership but that's the only word I can think of over his partners. So, he simply wouldn't want to let them go. I feel like the love would also linger a lot because he feels very deeply. So, he may just stay with his partner and fall into some toxic habits of keeping them on lockdown, being all hovery...The type who's calling his partner every 5 minutes, showing up to their job to make sure they're there, getting their Apple login so they can receive every single message and notif they do...He's keeping them on LOCK. But on the other hand, he could very well just...Fall out of love in an instant. It's very contradictory. Love and hate are two sides of the same coin and he has a very large capacity for hate, especially when betrayed. Probably just moved onto the next. So yeah, he's either dumping you rather cruelly then moving on like you never existed, or keeping you uner lock and key.
Changbin
He'd probably FIND OUT fairly quickly, because he'd kind of have this gut feeling. But he'd suppress those feelings and convince himself he was insane until he finally catches his partner red handed and realizes he's right on the money. Because he's very passionate about his relatinship and doesn't want to be imposing on his partner or doubting them for no reason. That's not his intention nor something he's comfortable with doing. He also wants to trust in his partner. He'll probably lose faith in himself and just be very on edge until he realizes he's right.
His entire life would fall apart when he finds out. He falls into destructive tendencies. Probably self-sabotages a lot. He feels like a failure, and he's so afraid of being made fun of or looked down on because he got cheated on. He'd probably fall into a depression and just be very negative. He'd feel like he wasn't enough, and couldn't be good enough. And feel he just couldn't be all his partner needed so they found it in someone else. But he'd also regain some of his trust in himself. Because he realized his intuition was right and he wasn't just losing his mind. Would definitely need a lot of kindness and comfort from friends and family, and a lot of self-expolration. May fall into delusions to help himself cope.
He'd also definitely break up with his partner if they cheated. Because they're obviously not his person, and he'll find his person.
Hyunjin
I haven't even pulled yet and I already know this'll affect my mental wellbeing
But also...MY MAN MY MAN MY MANNNNN I haven't read on him in a while (I'm saying this because he's my bias not because i'm delusional enough to think he'd want me don't @ me)
FIRST OF ALL, he'd believe he's being cheated on long before he actually is. Like, I wouldn't be surprised if he's already been in a situation where he dreamed of being cheated on and then a few weeks later got cheated on and was convinced he was a prophet or something. Not literally but you catch my drift. But I also feel like the amount of time it'd take to figure it out is considerably lengthened by the fact that he looks at everything through rose-tinted glasses of hopeless romance. He has a love for life and is more focused on that than anything else. Plus, he's near perpetually convinced he's about to be cheated on or is being cheated on so once he genuinely DOES see the red flags it's less...Impactful? To him? Because he sees them in everything. He's sensitive, though, so i feel like he'd sense it if something was off. Like, if his partner was cheating because of lost feelings he'd realize the lost feelings. And then, his imagination would take the wheel and suddenly it's a joyride off a cliff and into a mental spiral. I feel like deep down he'd also know like "Oh shit, this is different. They may actually be cheating for real." I feel like he has the emotional maturity to know that other times he was overreacting and being delusional. But this is more than that. I feel like the moment he open his eyes, he'll immediately know.
And he's getting the hell up out of there.
He'd be CRUSHED if he found out he got cheated on. He'd probably throw his money away doing stupid shit with it, fall into certain bad habits. He'd feel hopeless, and feel like everything he worked so hard for during the relationship was a waste. Like he's failed. But he'd also 100% publicly expose his partner. I also think he'd drown his sorrows in another relationship or fling or whatever. I'm talking within the hour of finding out he's under someone else for the sole purpose of distraction. He'd also 100% use this to fuel his general anger/crashoutery for the next few months. Like he'll be another level of volatile and emotionally unstable. He'd probably reflect a lot on the relationship. He'd withdraw from a lot of things and just want to be by himself and recover from the pain. Definitely would avoid anything that could potentially stress him out.
He'd also break up with his partner. Surprisingly. I was honestly expecting him to stay. But I feel like his energy has changed? He has more trust in himself and his value and he's not just content sticking around through mistreatment anymore. Good for him.
Han
Shawty bae
I don’t think he’d notice? He’d just very much be blinded by everything. He idealizes his relationships, and he’d be so happy he just genuinely wouldn’t notice if something was amiss. He’s also just generally an overthinker and has a very scattered mind, so I think if he did pick up on something he wouldn’t notice AT ALL he’s not being delusional.
I think he’d still love them if they cheated. But I also think he’d be the type to…Cheat back? If his partner were to ever cheat on him. He’d definitely also get closer with friends and family for emotional support and find happiness there. Mask the sadness with more happiness and drown himself in pleasure. I think once he finds out everything will suddenly connect. All the puzzle pieces will fall into place and everything will suddenly make sense.
I think he would want to but I don’t think he would. It’d be a big inner conflict and he’d really have to force himself to. He’d need to think on it and his friends and family would have to push for it. Because he’s like “Well I’ve put so much effort into this why throw it away?” And just values the stability relationships and having his ‘other half’ brings to him.
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ishgard · 11 months ago
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cluescorner · 9 months ago
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Arlecchino's whole deal is unbelievable
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder what's causing my weird powers? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta become King and then kill my "Mother".
*Kills Clervie and "Mother"*
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I was able to defeat a Fatui Harbinger when I'm like 17 or so? I can't really worry about that right now tho, I've gotta be in jail and become a Harbinger.
*Is in jail for a while and becomes a Harbinger*
Arlecchino: Huh I wonder why I am-
Pierro: Hey what's up hello, anyways you're descended from the Crimson Moon Dynasty of Khaenri'ah. I'm sure that this is a lot for you to take in so-
Arlecchino: Ok.
Pierro: ...You're just cool with that?
Arlecchino: IDK maybe? I can't really worry about that at the moment, I'm a father now. This orphanage full of children I love (who also are child soldiers and are not allowed to leave or else I'll execute them except maybe now I'm just gonna wipe their memories IDK I'm morally complex) isn't gonna run itself.
*Runs the orphanage/spy recruitment initiative*
Me, the fucking player: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU ARE KHAENRI'AN? WHY WASN'T THIS BROUGHT UP IN YOUR FUCKING QUEST?? OR ANYTHING ELSE????
Arlecchino, talking to me through my phone: I honestly don't know why you care, I'm too busy to give a shit. Anyways, I'm gonna go fight fate itself I guess. I'm sure that I don't share any thematic parallels with any other Khaenri'an characters (particularly as it relates to acting and family angst) and that I haven't made the idea of 'curses' on Khaenri'ans and what they entail even more complicated than they already were. See ya.
#arlecchino#genshin impact#pierro#WHY IS THE GAME FUCKING GLOSSING OVER THE FACT THAT SHE IS KHAENRI'AN?!#Not only that but she is the first Khaenri'an we've met (that we know of) who's from the Crimson Moon Dynasty#I'm so fucking confused#Did Celestia place a DIFFERENT curse on members of the Crimson Moon Dynasty?? Or is this stuff all of them can do???#HELP#She also seems almost...uninterested in the fact that she's descended from Khaenri'ah. Which honestly I think is interesting.#I don't know if I like it yet but when every other Khaenri'ah character has one of their major traits being that they super fucking#care that they are Khaenri'an (whether that be Kaeya with his paranoia/destiny/duty or Dain with his guilt over his failure/desire to#prevent our sibling from fucking with anything too much or whatever the fuck is going on with Pierro)#having a character who is Khaenri'an but doesn't seem to particularly be invested in that part of themself is different#she cares more about the curse and its effects on her then she ever really cares about the Crimson Moon Dynasty or the cataclysm#IDK I think it's neat from a character writing angle. or at least it has the potential to be if the writers do a good job.#But from a 'I like maybe 3 things in this game and one of them is Khaenri'ah' perspective it SUCKSSSSS#That part of the plot is already suffering from chronic live-service storytelling disease where people just straight up don't tell you#shit that they logically SHOULD BE TELLING YOU because the game needs to save plot points to build hype around#so for one of like 4-ish (depending on how much we count Albedo) Khaenri'an major characters to give us literally 1 and 1/2 voicelines#kinda sucks ngl. but again it's also interesting and realistic for Arlecchino and from that angle I like it#she doesn't care about what fate says her place in the world is. she's gonna carve her own and being Khaenri'an isn't relevant to#the life and identity she has built for herself. she isn't the type to look for answers she doesn't need. she's practical and efficient.#at the very least it's better than when Albedo 'I want to find all the world's truths' Kreideprinz doesn't let the audience in on his stuff
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yoonstudios · 13 days ago
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oh my fucking godddddd i wish i could come out to my parents
#maddie.txt#alright rant once again folks. u ain't gotta read it lmfao i'm just whining </3#my dad loves talking about when i'll be married and get a husband and how i'm probably gonna find some random guy in college#i just absolutely hate the fact that i'm assumed to be allo but i kinda get it bc like 97% of the population is allo but still#idk. i just makes me really uncomfortable like bro i don't have a type whatsoever even when i do have crushes i never really think of#marriage and even though i'm technically only attracted to men i know full well that he's not gonna accept it#like my dad was just saying how once i get into college/my career i'm gonna find men that 'check all the boxes'#and btw i have told this man many times that i've never had an interest in having a husband or kids but not even 10 minutes ago he just#told me that even though i don't want to get married/have kids that if god 'presents you with a man' that i should take it and get married#whether i want to or not?? what the fuck???? and he said to my younger brother that he should do the same w/ his future wife/gf which is#absolutely insane. (also dad constantly refers to our future spouses as 'mates' which i find weird as fuck) and just that along with the#fact he outright told me sometime last year that (literally his words) women are 'products bought by men' that have#'time limits and expiration dates' and that's why 'men buy them (women) while they're 21‚ 22‚ 23' so. yeah .#that last bit was a side rant but god i just wish i could be confident he could accept i was demi-aroace it would just make things#so much fucking easier and less weird and uncomfortable but it's just sometimes i wonder where the blurred line is between where my#sexuality ends and where the effects of purity culture begin. and maybe throw in some childhood trauma and witnessing domestic violence as#well. i don't know. the only thing that helps is that i felt 'different' even before Shit Got Bad so that's nice.#in conclusion i wish father dearest know that i'm not allo in the slightest and there's a pretty decent chance i may not get married at all#and i'm very sure god's chill w that. bc like i'm still a normal person with hobbies and shit. i'm just some queer bitch who likes coding#and wildlife photography and has a few weird issues to sort out. i'm just an aroace with exceptions my guy. it's not too hard to understand#also sorry to my friends/mutuals who i haven't talked to much lately. i'm terrible at starting convos but i know that i love you like#the moon loves the earth okay? :)
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dandunn · 10 months ago
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'don't ship that, ship THIS'
'why are people focused on THAT when they could look at THIS'
'bad media literacy nuance reading comprehension-'
'why is NO-ONE writing fic about-'
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iceeericeee · 1 year ago
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I wonder how many tags i can add on to this
#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30?#idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo#this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed#the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do.#i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg#but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count?#I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or#something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who#thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding#very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting#absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is#basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post.#why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags*#it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows.#where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since#i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li#type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to#be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell#'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one.#this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer#anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can.#which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi#whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23#except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang#i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue#i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan#to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone.#thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really...#...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though#would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y
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beesorcery · 6 months ago
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google how do i tell my dad that the reason i keep bringing up elon musk's transphobia isn't that i've got gen z political tunnel vision that makes me blind to his "innovation" in electric cars but because i am desperately crying out for you as the father of a trans child to feel just as outraged and angry as i am that that man has so much power
#edit: warning the tags get pretty personal whoops. however tumblr is like a diary to me so. but if discussions of father issues arent for u#it's not anything he's directly said but like. when we talk about it i can tell he's clinging to this like#image of musk as this inventor working for the good of humanity#because he's admired him for a long time and like i get it it's hard to let go of your heroes when it turns out they're trash#but. he's always been trash. is the thing. and i've been saying this.#and it would be nice to feel some solidarity! or support! or empathy idk!#and not like. lectures why tesla is actually progressive or why spacex is the best thing to happen to science since fucking penicillin#and sometimes ppl who push the world towards progress rub people the wrong way#god like. we were in the car the other day talking about it and i mentioned tesla moving to texas bc of the law protecting trans kids#and he mumbled something like well sure yeah he said that but Really... really it's about the taxes......#okay!! who give a shit! that's not the point! the point is that he's got fucking legions of alt right fanboys who hang off his every word#so when he says something that is good for trans people is actually dangerous and bad and hurts kids#and when he openly publicly deadnames and misgenders and LIES about his TRANS DAUGHTER. it's fucking dangerous! and it makes trans people#(IE ME. YOUR CHILD.)#feel unsafe!#it should get you angry! it should make you rethink how you saw him previously! it should make you want to stop supporting him!#idk. i mean my dad has never been like. against me being trans. and he's worked really hard on the pronouns and not deadnaming me#but it's stuff like this where it feels like he doesn't grasp how he's de-prioritizing my perspective as a trans person and.#his Child.#and how his first reaction to me starting t was 'no.. why would you do that :('#it just feels bad. i love him so much but it's shit like this that makes me feel like i don't matter to him or like i'm disappointing him#and then he gets confused when i tell him that i feel that way#wow! sorry for this. i should get serious about finding a therapist i dont think i knew i felt all this until i typed it out#im gonna add a tag at the beginning of this. as a warning. lolololol. lol. anyway#got 2 pick up my t tomorrow and also email my dr for more wellbutrin haha slay! hit the slay button. dispenses ssris.#god i'm so tired sorry i'm delirious actually. also i saw my brother this weekend which was so nice and he's such a weirdo which also#makes me weirder by proxy
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Btw people I am in my Percy Jackson era again. Prepare to be flooded with text and images.
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gregoftom · 2 years ago
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i don’t think it’s that much of a surprise that tg is less i guess Insane™ in season 4. their dynamic has shifted so much and that’s a good thing. i told my so about tom’s behaviour and how he says he’ll go to prison for greg and while she agreed that it showed his love for him, she also said that it was not good because if we don’t let people we love face responsibility for their actions, we are not truly caring for them. i know it’s a different because tom asked greg to get rid of the documents in the first place and pulled the family card on him, but still. there are other examples that’s just the only one i could think of. it’s nice that tom protects greg and yes it shows love for him but tom needs to learn that like. he’s important too LOL this whole season he’s been like, i’m here to serve. he’s been called servile, been made fun of for being so. despite his behaviour towards greg he’s servile to him too - he puts him on a pedestal. greg is so important to tom, much more important than tom himself [this can be a characteristic of bpd]. tom will sacrifice himself for greg and the question still remains would greg do the same? i’m not saying that like, you can Never sacrifice yourself for loved ones i’m just saying that sometimes you have to take care of yourself. and the fact that greg did something else to what tom told him to at the tailgate party - that’s a good sign! that’s very good! tom did not like it at first but he still touched greg’s back and accepted it and then later on greg chose to talk to matsson himself.
greg is growing, at least in terms of his relationship with tom and that’s a good thing. they’re doing really good. but tom... he needs to grow now. and i’m hoping that if this whole greg and tom getting fired - i don’t think greg can actually do the firing, i think he’ll be asked to be involved in some way or break the news to tom perhaps, similar to how roman was asked to do so to gerri by logan - is actually happening, tom will stand up for himself, and as extra bonus points, will do so with the help of greg. i mean that would be just the cherry on the cake, but i’ll accept it if he does it alone, because that’s progress too. the point is, i think tomgreg is doing really well and i’m not super worried. if they throw all of this build up and development away for just a gregtrayal and end it there i’ll be extremely disappointed, not even just in a shipping perspective, but a writing one, because i care for tom and want him to experience some self confidence finally. the balcony fight was a good start but he still experienced immediate regret afterwards and went to bed alone. idk, maybe i’m in a delusion but i think tomgreg will be alright. 
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deadletterpoets · 2 years ago
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Because no one ever looks at everything I say and only see the negatives, let me be plain here so I can point to it when someone thinks I'm being too cynical or whatever.
I don't think Cassandra Cain is going to be Orphan again, I just also don't think the name is as completely dead or forgotten as Cass fans want to believe and I am just more openly willing to accept the possibility that if she were to lose the Batgirl mantle for whatever reason, she would be Orphan again as oppose to anything else.
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the-lark-ascending69 · 2 months ago
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Isn't "imperial core" the academic term though? The Core and the Perisphery, Centro y Perisferia, idk how anglos are taught about it or what they call it but I'm pretty sure that's the concept we're talking about.
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tunacharm · 4 months ago
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oh fuck the hyperfixation is starting to become politics
#no please i don't want to go down this rabbit hole#desperately clinging to my other recurring hyperfixations to stop myself from learning about stuff that's just gonna seriously piss me off#i'm too busy to do this rn#my schedule is full there is no time for learning about the nightmare of us government#it does not help that i'm taking my required federal gov class rn#also just wanted to say i made a typo and said feral gov hehe#my family does not like talking about politics 😭#my dad is ultra conservative and my mom is liberal leaning but does not engage with any political talk#my older brother grew up in olympia washington so. he's far left#my little brother i truly have no idea#i know my mom and i raised him to respect women at least lol#but he's a good boy i think he's probably somewhat moderate#i mean growing up in a texas metroplex introduces you to all types of people#as for me. well. i'm here aren't i#if you're still reading this you're nosyyyy lol#idk why i gave the rundown of my family's political views but now you know i guess#anyways i'm kind of going crazy because i need to know more about this shitshow of an election#and every time i learn something new i'm so mad 😭#idk why but politics is all just so silly to me. like why are we doing all this it fucking sucks#and i know why they do it and it just pisses me offffff#endless cycle of anger here for no reason bro#my fantasy is to live so far away from any other people that politics don't even fucking matter#ok i'm done now lol
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ame-to-ame · 4 months ago
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:|
#i am not gods strongest soldier#she'll talk to someone who will say stuff like you're useless to her and take it fine but. she won't even stand to be in the same room w me#what difference is it to be being in your room playing games with the same people all the time vs. like idk.#aren't you just transferring who you're dependent on. is the difference just the level of commitment. you feel like you can leave whenever#nothing's changed really somehow. you're still doing the same things you did while back then. just that you also avoid me.#and god i don't know. i tell myself I'll care less I'll get over it it is what it is and i try so hard to be busy and not think abt it#but i can't sleep w/o watching something these days or else it's on my mind and that's been shit for my sleep quality#it's the first thing that pops up in my mind when i wake up. i get distracted in class sometimes by it. it's not like i can control it#it's just like the more you try to not think abt sth the more it comes up type of deal.#and I'm trying so hard but i think this is legitimately. gonna make me spiral and I'm trying my best to have a grip and not go there#i have things I'm looking forward to and I'm supposed to b having fun but it's hard when. There's that looming in the back of your head.#ugh ok rational choice let's go. i don't try to talk to her: we don't talk. she doesn't try to talk to me. i suffer in silence.#maybe I'll get over it find something new that feels like a safehouse but that's a big if. and idk how long i can hold on for#i try to talk to her: maybe it could go well? but maybe she'll just get more avoidant#i don't really get it it's like she can respond and laugh to stuff i say when in a group setting but she gets so guarded when it's just me#like subconsciously you know I'm not a threat you can allow yourself to have fun around me.#but you're consciously putting a guard up around me and reinforcing the negative feelings when it's just me#god. i don't. but. at least it sounds like she's happy for now so. that's all i ask for. if she doesn't want to see me i don't show up#i want to see her but. i mean. There's really no compromise or middle ground here.#they say time heals everything but it's already been so long. i don't even know why I'm still attached. she's like a different person.#the person i loved appears every now and then just never in front of me and I'm trying my best but I've never been good with loss#how do you come to terms with something being dead and alive at the same time. how do you make up the mind to drive the nail in the casket.#i can't make myself put it into the dirt when i catch a glimpse of the person i once knew. that hasn't changed for anyone else. just me.#vent#delete later
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eggmeralda · 1 year ago
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drowsed and drugged out on migraine medication and for what. music sounds the same
#my opinions on every drug depend on whether or not they make music sound better#never forget the disappointment of my friend saying the first time he smoked weed he was watching the simpsons and the theme tune#sounded amazing apparently. and i was like that sounds unreal ykw first time i get high I'm gonna listen to all my favourite songs#and then when i did get high many years later it just made time slow down so i'd get like 10 seconds into a song and feel like#why has this song been playing for like the past 7 minutes they haven't even got to the chorus yet#i was sooooooo bored in my bedroom couldn't listen to music couldn't find any show entertaining and also i couldn't go downstairs bc#my friend was in the kitchen having a weed panic attack and had thrown up in the sink and i didn't wanna be near him lol#(there were many people looking after him dw i wasn't just Leaving him down there to deal with it himself)#but anyway. so all i could do was lie on my bed for what felt like 5 hours waiting to get sober#then i watched russian ark and it was like the best film I'd ever seen but other than that. dead experience#I've never tried any other drug except add medication and migraine medication but they were both prescribed and like#i was taking them for their intended purpose but like. idk the migraine medication is making me all hwjhehhwhowoho in my bed#but music sounds the same#not even high or anything#i can't be bothered to take any drugs tbh i just feel like i'll either get bored or anxious or somehow both and like. idek#alcohol#i can't be bothered to type anymore i'm on migraine meds#but yeah i'll stick to alcohol i know where i stand with her#ramble#drugs tw
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buckyalpine · 2 months ago
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18+ Minors dni. Seriously, it gets feral in a way I didn't anticipate and I'm the pervert who wrote this.
Bucky sleeping naked. We're back to this again cause I'm a pervert and he's a cutie, I can’t help it. Why do I find it adorable. Sexy. So pretty. And the different of versions of this?
Imagine being Bucky’s roommate and having to deal with different types of Buckys. A shy, soft Bucky is always in the softest pj’s, cotton t-shirts and warm sweaters. He is truly the sweetest, more precious thing on the planet, always making you a steaming cup of coffee in the morning and hot chocolate at night.
You don’t think much of it when you slip into his room to return the hoodie you stole and you all but faint when you see him practically starfish on the bed, soft snores slipping past his lips, the bedside lamp still on along with the book his was reading half open on his chest but that wasn't what you were looking at cause-
You shouldn’t even be here, you should look away, you really should but it’s not your fault that he has the prettiest cock on full display with perfect, heavy balls in between plush thighs. You're not sure how someone so sweet and pure can look this sinful, nearly tearing the hoodie you're clutching onto the longer you wait by the door.
Idk why my mind went here but imagine he's soft but gets hard when he smells you. You're close enough in his room that your shampoo and something so distinctly you fills his senses. It's not his fault his senses are heightened. I mean imagine you see it happen. A cute little groan as all the blood rushes down between his legs, his cock now standing at full attention, stiff and begging. Leaking.
You're frozen on the spot, begging for your feet to move, just drop the hoodie and run, anything but no. He's still asleep, lashes fluttering against his cheeks as his pulse starts to work a little faster, his hand coming down to soothe the ache, his book slipping off his chest.
You should definitely leave now, it's too intimate, you can't be here when he-
"mph" His sleepy movements are barely coordinated as he gives his cock a squeeze, his cheeks getting pinker by the second. He rolls over with his face now buried into the pillow, pressing his hips against the mattress for some relief.
I can't deal.
Innocent Bucky having a wet dream over you.
Innocent Bucky making a mess because of you.
Innocent Bucky acting normal around you the next morning, placing a steaming mug of tea in front of you while you stutter a thank you and he says you're welcome doll, like he always does.
Innocent Bucky still too shy to tell you that he jerks his cock off to you more times than you can count. That he adores you too much, he'd never be so crass to make a move on his roommate. He's still working up the courage to ask you on a date. Till then he's gonna fuck his fist and hump his bed and think of all the ways he wishes you were naked with him, your legs around his waist while he pounds you, filling you up while you scream his name-
-
Fuck boy Bucky shows himself off without a care in the world. You start to wonder if the man owns anything else aside from a few slutty pairs of boxer brief's. He's always manspreading and it's hard to act like it's an inconvenience when he's built like that. That being said, it's not like you've seen all of him. He leaves little to the imagination but it's not like he walked around naked.
You'd never openly admit you were a little curious.
You find out he's put your mug on the highest shelf again and you swear he does it on purpose just to mess with you. You grumble, ready to tell him off, walking right into his bedroom, his full legal name right at the tip of your tongue-
"Fuck-"
His chest rises and falls along with his soft snores, one arm propped under his head while the other is half one his chest. His thighs were spread apart without a care in the world and not a single piece of clothing covered his body, bed sheets also tossed aside.
Apparently the serum made him run hot.
Every single bit of him is on display, the only thing he's wearing are his pretty silver dog tags. You freeze, blinking, your tongue now tied, you were so annoyed with him and now-
"Y'like what you see angel?" His raspy voice makes you yelp as he keeps his eyes closed but the smirk that makes its way to his lips lets you know he's more than awake now. You have no idea when he woke up or realized you were there but you can't get your feet to move, voice caught in your throat.
He doesn't even bother trying to cover up, unbothered at the state you're seeing him in.
Imagine this cocky fuck going as far as giving his cock a lazy tug and he can definitely smell how wet you are. He knows you're getting wetter.
"Need something baby, cause I gotta take care of this or I won't fall asleep" He cocks an eyebrow, nodding down to his hard cock before looking back at you. He's not going to tell you yet that he'd been pining after you with the most desperate crush. That he keeps those mugs up high on purpose so you have to call him to get it for you.
"I-I
"Don't get all shy on me now princess, better lock the door on your way out unless you're gonna stand there and watch?" He gives himself another lazy tug, this one followed by a groan.
Fuckboy Bucky who loves the way you look like a deer caught in headlights.
Fuckboy Bucky who strokes his cock while you watch.
Fuckboy Bucky who lets out a deep, raspy, "Fuck baby, just c'mere" when he hears a desperate whimper slip past your lips.
Fuckboy Bucky who gets you naked with him, not wasting a second to get inside your pussy.
Fuckboy Bucky who runs his mouth too much and mumbles an unconscious "Fuck, i love you" when he starts to cum.
and cum.
and fucking cum.
Fuckboy Bucky who confesses his feelings.
Anyway.
Naked Bucky in bed.
That's all I want.
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jademonument · 2 years ago
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I'm historically awful at using like, literally any social media. not even intentionally, I just don't think Good Social Media Practices have ever been ingrained in me. maybe in part because I've very rarely ever actually made anything to put into the metaphorical pot myself. idk, who knows
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