#idk why i'm ranting btw
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"try not to feel ridiculous every time i put on makeup before going out" challenge
#something something lipstick on a pig#i lied actually#i feel ridiculous every time i go out in any case#sometimes i think about how many people i go past thought i'm at least half-decent looking#probably like 0.3 or smth#if i'm lucky#idk why i'm ranting btw#whining for the sake of whining#personal
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Some quick thoughts on the new trophies for the Until Dawn remake and how they seem to affect the game/characters...
I am infinitely devastated that "Don't Scare Jessica to Death" is no longer a trophy. Jess is one of my favorite characters and we're left thinking she's dead for half the game, to the point where the Butterfly Effect menu very excitedly states "Jessica was still alive!" I think Jess surviving and her end credits sequence where she just seems so broken and damaged is just so iconic and impactful, it deserves its own trophy. Plus the name is top tier.
On the bright side, I do love the new "Drag Me Through Hell" trophy. That chase scene is what made me like Mike cause it shows he really loved Jessica, and I also reallyyyy like the movie Drag Me to Hell. (I'm biased for it because it's one of the first movies I watched with my boyfriend.)
So the changes to the Chris shoots Ashley/Ashley doesn't let Chris in trophy line... I personally like the idea that Ashley purposefully lets Chris die, but I understand that's an unpopular opinion, so I guess that's why they changed it. It's no longer a "fatal grudge" she held against Chris, she just "hesitated and failed to let Chris inside in time." Though I am curious what's necessary in order to get that option now. Can you shoot Ashley anymore? Why did she hesitate if she doesn't have a grudge? Do you play as Ashley during that segment now and you need to go fast before Chris dies? It raises a lot of questions...
Same with the removal of the "Instant Inferno" trophy. A lot of people say it's out of character for Sam to immediately hit the switch and kill everybody so that could be why they got rid of it, but again, that raises questions. Can Sam not instantly hit the switch anymore? Or are you just not rewarded for it anymore? Because if you can't do it immediately anymore, that seriously sucks, because it takes away so much pressure and intensity from the ending.
I actually love that they changed the Emily/Ashley slap to "Talk to eM." Not only does it keep the original pun intact, they now based it off of one of my favorite movies of all-time, Talk to Me! Also the acknowledgement of the slap is great, I'm glad they noticed.
While I personally disliked the movie Cabin in the Woods, I actually headcanoned it as one of Josh's favorite movies, so I guess I'm glad it got a mention in "The Cabin in the Blackwoods."
"We Need to Talk About Josh" I hate this trophy I hate this trophy I hate this trophy I hate this trophy... Just let the Washingtons be tragic!!! Josh will never have a happy ending anyway!!! His sisters are DEAD
I know "American Survivor in Canada" will cause some controversy cause a lot of people headcanoned the Until Dawn cast as Canadian, but I guess this implies they're American but the Blackwood Mountains are in Canada?
And lastly, I love love LOVE "I Know What You Did Last Year." I remember reading another post on Tumblr where their dad described Until Dawn as "Wendigo knows what you did last summer" and I probably laughed for ten minutes straight, lol. It's such a matching horror movie for Until Dawn and I'm so glad it got a place in the game now.
As a whole, I'm super mixed. It kind of seems like they're trying to take out a lot of negative endings/negative characteristics of the characters, and that bums me out a lot. Of course haters complained about this stuff, but the true fans like the character flaws and how they're not just one-dimensional and boring.
#I'm getting more and more worried about the remake the closer we get to it yikes#i love ashley btw she's one of my favs idk why this post sounded mean to her#same with the washingtons i love them they're my beanie babies#until dawn#until dawn remaster#until dawn remake#until dawn rant#until dawn endings#until dawn trophies#horrorgames#supermassive games#josh washington#beth washington#hannah washington#chris hartley#ashley brown#mike munroe#jess riley#emily davis#sam giddings#poor matt never gets any spotlight...#horror movies
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Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble
I will not be brief, all under the cut
To clear some things right off the bat:
No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.
Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality
The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.
This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.
Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:
Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.
All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.
Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).
And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.
At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.
I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.
Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.
This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.
It shifts something between them.
From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.
As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.
Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.
Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.
I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.
I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.
I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.
As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.
I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.
Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great
#ty right-agent for explicitly telling me that this would be welcomed you a real one#i had a massive babble to my friend abt what if they all feed me to the hounds for speaking#and he said “girl that fandom is like 12 people big they need you to speak” and yeah that also helped#i have a hard time talking if I'm not asked/prompted to that's why i adding tags is great for me. that and i like the format#anyways.#THESE TWO.............dear lord can you tell I have been unwell abt them forever..#this is propeganda (/j) for them. btw. please you have to understand the potential here. it's so good.#it's slowburn <- my (probably) demiromantic ass cannot handle romance without a build up and this set up is perfect (it will never happen)#also i find it easier to write ANYTHING between these two from Juniper's perspective because i find it easier to get into his head#idk reggie is like the gay version of the: what is he thinking of? i could take a bear in a fight. audio ive heard.#whereas with juniper i have him trapped under a microscope#im going to tag this now so i can use the remaining tags to RANT#ieytd#john juniper#reginald crane#junicrane#starstruck#i expect you to die#<- being BRAVE!!!#when I get really excited i start getting like this internal shaking feeling and uh. yeah this rant started that#the worst part abt that is it also triggers my tourettes so like. double whammy. excited about blorbos? jail :(#but. yeah I uh. yeah. sorry this IS so long..I did warn but . AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAHHHHHHHHHAUUUUUUAHHHHHHHHHHHHH#also i did this rant in 2 parts. last night and this morning so yeah uh. yeah.#god im so messed up about these two#make me a boat by the family crest came on while wroting this and while it's mainly a roxanix song to me......AUUUUUG.....#i struggle to find music for these sillies because they have such a specific vibe to me amd I've not quite managed to find something which -#- genuinely feels correct for them and it drives me up the WALL#GOD NIGHT SHIFT JUST CAME OF SHUFFL.....all my ieytd songs are coming out to drive me up the wall.......#FINISHED I've been adding tags as I've gone alonga#thank you for reading hope you enoyed and if you didn't im sorry
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LIKE!!!!!! BEING TRANSGENDER BEING QUEER IN ANY WAY ISN'T HARMFUL BEHAVIOR!!!!!!! IT'S LITERALLY NOT EVEN A BEHAVIOR!!!!! IT'S JUST A THING THAT YOU ARE!!!!!! And SOMETIMES. You act accordingly! You may change your name and pronouns! You may seek HRT! You may look into surgery! You may only do a few of those things or any combination of those things (or maybe even none?!), whichever works for you and your sense of self-actualization. BUT. Doing ANY of those things. Is NOT HARMFUL BEHAVIOR!!!!!!!!!!! And in the sexuality department! If you have "same sex attraction" as they like to call it. Also not even a behavior. It's just a thing you Feel. But of course you gotta moralize Feelings, too. Forget about it!!!!! And if you Act on it. That's still not harmful. Who are you harming? Giving a little kissie to your same gendered homie???? Or getting handsy????? But on God. Do not get me started. My MAIN POINT. Is that there is literally no harm. There is nothing to correct here. There is nothing to fix here. Except for the hatred in your heart!!!!!! Your fear of the unknown!!!!!!!! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GIVE ME ONGOING EVERLASTING TRAUMA OVER THIS THIS IS FUCKING STUPID‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
#SAME LOGIC CAM BE APLLIED TO AUTISM. AUTISM ITSELF IS NOT A BEHAVIOR.#but bestie i know i do not have the fucking words or capacity to get into it. i'm so sorry#i feel like. there's such a difference. for me personally. and i think it's entirely rooted in the time periods#i experienced each trauma/how long it's lived in me. like yeah homophobia/transphobia sucks ass#and can really fuck w me esp on a bad day. but most times i can move through it and articulate it#bc i was like. 15. i probably knew around 13. but i do feel like the brunt of it started at 15#the autism. i. internalized that i was a bad kid as soon as i was in kindergarten.#i internalized that i was a freak in 3rd grade.#i've had to work through SO much internaized ableism. as a previously high masking autistic individual.#my entire life i've felt like i've had to correct myself. and when the queerness became apparent#everyone made it their fucking job to correct me too.#THE APP. CRASHED. MID RANT. the power... of my rage.....#but like i was GONNA add. another key difference actually is i literally never understood Why#queerness in any form was 'bad' or sinful. like. straight up just never fucking got it.#like... why is it uniquely sinister.... for me (presumably something of a girl as it was understood at the time) to also like girls...#idk i just never fucking understood why it was such a fuckinh problem. why i 'should' have felt bad for it.#literally... who gives a shit....... and also??? women are people? just like guys? and what if i like her. what then.#idk arbitrary rules and autism don't really mix.#i have no greater point btw. it was probably Something about how
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Ok guys I'm revealing my secret of how I keep myself a functional alcoholic instead of falling into crippling alcoholic territory
These are my rules:
Never start drinking before the sun goes down ( exception of 1 carbonated beverage sipped slowly) // OR never start drinking after 11am if I'm working a nightshift job
get responsibilities done beforehand, at the very least before getting into "absolutely plastered" territory.
eat a decent meal after / while drinking (I can't get myself to beforehand bc "it'll ruin it" sooooo)
DO NOT drink (or smoke weed) for at least 10 hours before a therapy session, or at least 5 hours before meeting with someone you wish to keep an amicable relationship with
under no circumstances operate a vehicle until it's been 12 hours past your last drink. Get a ride or call in sick for work. Its always better to get fired from a job than to murder somebody else with a 10-tonne vehicle
Moderate yourself while in the company of others. That way, they don't catch on.
Lock your doors and turn off your cellphone. Do not contact anyone while drinking unless they are aware of your situation. Do not leave your home/bedroom
Use water as a chaser not some bullshit sugary fruit juice or some shit. Staying hydrated when drinking is so important. Helps with hangovers too. Eating salty foods can help balance electrolytes as well
#blues drunk rants#Found this in my drafts idk why I never posted it it's low-key a banger post#Also my therapist told me last week that I should eat something a WHOLE HOUR before drinking to keep my body from being chemically dependen#I'm not gonna do that but it's important information#BTW this is all assuming you'd be binge drinking/getting drunk all the time. I just didn't wanna specify that on every rule#Like don't drive 12 hours past your last drink assuming you had a large amount of drinks so it will take that long to be sober#Idk use common sense
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My favorite g/t trope is when T is scared of falling off high places even though being really small means your terminal velocity (maximum speed at which you can fall) is greatly decreased and T could probably fall off the roof of a 5 story building and only get scratched.
#g/t#I'm so tired#I'm aroace idk why I put it here though#The opposite effect applies to giants#which is why whales die if they go on land#I swear a lot btw#I also rant random shit for no reason cuz autism#The first law of thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed#only altered in form. For any system#energy transfer is associated with mass crossing the control boundary#external work#or heat transfer across the boundary. These produce a change of stored energy within the control volume.#I set my notification sound to halo ce elite noises and every time someone replies to a post I hear “wort wort wort”#not anymore though because I just muted tumblr
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I fucking love video games that are buggy as fuck
Fucking around in Vault 3, helping those guys escape- I come back with the key and two of them are outside the cage and one of the Fiends is inside it instead. I'm like "wow okay," move on, unlock the cage.
And then I just. Get to watch them all crouch and "sneak" out of the cage, pushing up against and stopping in front of Fiends the whole way.
I genuinely don't know if they're supposed to just be fine once you open the cage? So like maybe that last bit is par for the course. But coming back to two of them just wandering that room, chillin with the captors? Incredible. 10/10 I recommend this game to everyone.
#queued#jay.txt#fallout new vegas#can i like. comment on a thing btw. here in the comfort and safety of my tags?#does anyone else find getting good karma exclusively from (at least so far as I've seen) killing Fiends a little. Not Fucking Great?#like. idk. when i first heard about them in game it was from betsy and she has that one line abt them and like. it kinda set a tone for me#+maybe. 'cause barring the fiends we're given specified crimes for (and thus I DO enjoy my good karma from) they're just. addicts?#idk it just rubs me wrong. especially walking around this vault without having aggro'd them. like they don't even get upset with you for +#+taking their chems??? which i expected to be a problem 100%. but no. they just let you do whatever. they're just Fiending as it were#i do recognize that like. They've Fucking Done Shit. like killing the original vault dwellers who apparently just invited them in. that's +#+horrible yeah I agree. but how am i meant to know/believe they were all 100% complicit in that? how recent was that also? there's possibly#+people in this faction who DIDN'T do that yk? idk. idk. I'm overthinking it but it just rubs me wrong. like you're not gonna give me good#+karma for killing the slaver faction but I can get it for killing addicts? sure. okay. definitely not fucking weird behavior#Rant Over it's just been on the mind. until I get a mission that makes me be aggressive w them in there I'm gonna leave them be I think#like rogues that just attack me? sure. self defense. but if they've not attacking me we're just gonna chill#(queued june 9th)#future/present me here with an update! Finally encountered something else that gave me good karma for killing it! it was a feral ghoul +#+trooper. not sure how I feel about that 100%? i think i lean mostly towards ''yeah fair enough.'' it does make me feel a little less Hm +#+about the Fiend good karma though. just a little. but seriously why am I not getting it from Legion troops-#(additional tags added june 13th)
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The way I shell out 20 quid a month to watch Moto2, Moto3 & MotoGP because it's no longer free to watch but they just show the same 4 riders (no offence to them) and refuse to even acknowledge any rider or team that isn't European/American.
Just now I was basically watching numbers going up and down my screen during the moto2 qualifying because they couldn't even show me 5 seconds of Chantra on the track 😭
#what to even tag this#i don't have any other social media anymore so idk where to rant lmao#to be fair they gave me like 3 secs of Chantra suiting up#but i'm kind of watching for the racing you guys#this is about sky germany btw#so i get why they're biased#but it's boring an unfun for anyone not cheering for the local riders#jane watches stuff#(in a way)
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Peter: Tony has been trying to make heads and tails of my Italian school certificate
Peter: He swore he wouldn't use a translator because he's "got this"
Peter: It's been fifteen minutes of him staring at it
Peter: Funniest fifteen minutes of my life
#a self-indulgent au where peter took an italian course#couse why not#partly inspired of the casual mention of may as a 'hot italian woman'#btw just got my certificate... and it's in spanish#idk why#i think it's funny as hell#and my parents' reaction was the best#they don't understand nada#i'm just ranting couse no one will check the tags anyway#hey why don't i use this as a diary#would actually make sense#peter parker#spider-man#spider man#spiderman#tom holland spiderman#tony stark#iron man#marvel#incorrect quote#spider man incorrect quotes#marvel incorrect quotes
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@gay-jewish-bucky IT REALLY FUCKING IS. No matter what if it’s a canon gay couple it’s just not going to be good enough for the exact same people who complain about wanting more gay rep. Part of getting gay rep is accepting that we’re going to get rep for all kinds of gays, all kinds of relationships, all levels of relevance - not just the kind that some people want or deem acceptable.
We finally have what is, in my opinion, a pretty well balanced canon queer ship that isn’t just ~hints and eye contact~, that isn’t squeaky clean, that have meaningful conversations and show love and affection like it’s not a big deal. It’s treated on equal levels to any straight ship on the show and I think that’s a breath of fresh goddamn air tbh.
I know people are always going to complain, but this topic has gotta be one of the most annoying and most exhausting ones. People should be happy we get any kind of lgbtqa+ rep, and that that rep is getting not just more diverse over the years but better too. There’s never going to be Perfect Queer Representation and to bitch and hold out for it?? To nitpick the fuck out of every ship?? Why would you, y’know??
#sorry for ranting jksdhfkds#i feel ancient saying this - like a grandma regaling her grandkids with tales of walking to and from school in the snow barefoot - but#i remember when there were no canon queer ships on tv or in movies#there wasnt shit for any of us#no matter what your label was#and now we have enough canon ships and canon lgbtqa+ characters that people feel they're entitled to be picky??#like my dude we just started getting this kind of content in my teen + adult life#maybe appreciate how far we've gotten studios and companies to come in a relatively short amount of time#maybe appreciate the positive for 2 seconds before you start demanding stuff and whining when you dont get it. especially when it#wasnt promised to you - btw. in regards to the ship i was talking about the showrunners said it was going to go down differently from#the books. they aged up the characters afterall + they were smashing 2 series together to create a whole new thing. they warned people#we got the canon ship. they put a lot of thought into writing it and the actors - who are big fans of the books - put a lot of thought#into acting it. that's the other thing!! actors who give a shit a bout providing quality queer rep!!! why are y'all not talking about that?#that's also not a given when it comes to people playing queer roles. there's a lot special going on here and to be so negative..#idk man it's doing a huge disservice to a lot of people + it ignores the progress made + it's whiny and annoying#i'm annoyed. does it show?? i think it might show#sdhjfsdkfs#sorry again for turning my reply into a rant. cole ur an angel and i love u#replies#maison speaks
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...It's kind of wild when the terf that you got into a fight with and had to write an essay on "Why violence is wrong" back in high school now works at the pharmacy where you get your medication from...
#I'm sorry for the vent I just am mad that she could be in a PHARMACY. I hope she's at least changed her ways.#she should not be working in health if she still thinks this way.#She definitely remembered me too. I don't think she could forget honestly. neither of us was injured btw.#It wasn't a “fight” in the way you think most fights are. she called this sweet trans boy the word rhymes with maggot (that's what she is)#a maggot.#while she was moving around a lot and idk. rage took over and I twisted her arm and she happened to fall and then I cussed her out#I probably over did it but moving her arms around while ranting and then calling him that just pushed me over. I WAS calm at first.#He was a shy and quiet kid and he “didn't want to make a big deal about it” so I tried to follow his request but... you know.#it was in theatre behind the curtains during rehearsal and everyone heard/saw so yea. I got into trouble. no detention surprisingly#it was a long time coming. she would constantly harass him with shit about how “You still look like a girl”. and using wrong pronouns#and teachers were told but they didnt' do shit. She also was just a mean person. This guy wasn't the only person she bullied#I only wrote on why VIOLENCE was wrong. not about what I did. The only thing I feel bad about is that I scared the poor guy I was defending#I don't remember what I said (I was that mad) but apparently I "picked her personality apart like a bunch of lego bricks and then told her#why the “lego brick” is fucked up“ He was just 14-15 and she was 18 btw😒literally harrassing a sweet KID.#was convenient though because all I had to do was give her a look and she would immediately back down. idk what I said when I yelled#at her but it was nice that I could do that whenever she would start shit#Mad rambles#idk y'all I'm scared that she's in HEALTH. if I know anything I'll see if I can report her because while I hope she wouldn't fuck with tran#folks medications idk for sure. she was really cruel back in high school.#vent#rant#I try not to post shit like this but I'm worried you know?
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i wish everyone would accept humans just fading out of existence 😭 whyyyy would you want more people, why. just let us die out and deal w the consequences of that as they come.
#like sure have (a) kid(s) if you want but idk#why#i just saw that post about elites in silicon valley trying to replace the world population w their own bloodlines#i'm vomiting it's so embarrassing to be a part of this species#someone sterilize rich people or something#stealing all the resources#acting like they just deserve to have everything#i'm so tired#antinatalism#overpopulation#vent#rant#ppl are like 'but the economy' girl idgaf#we'll get by or we'll just die idk like who cares#overall it won't be any worse than now it'll just be different#i really do think it's okay to have kids btw#just like make sure you really want to and it's not some weird societal brainwashing#or just generally for the 'wrong reasons'
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technically one of those clowns is only half based on an ebay one, the one with a funny snout is because i saw one that looked like he had a snout but when i got him his face was flat..
#i still like him of course. every clown has their charm.#but. snouted clown.... the potential was just too amusing to pass up...#and the first sketch i did is very cute but i couldn't replicate it as can be told with the failed snouts#AGH i'm procrastinating sleeping again..#i've had a headache haunting me all day and so i have to wait for painkillers to kick in so i have a chance of sound sleep lol#my mind keeps going back to the clowns... it cannot escape.#i don't care much about real life clown lore btw. i just like the byproducts so to speak#the iconography perhaps. not the aesthetic as such#my clowns- once they are in my possession- are warped in their tales to fit my narative.#they are things wholly different from their human inspirations#creatures. beasts. little guys#they are mainly of baser instincts though they can follow commands if they're simple#akin to a pets intelligence. maybe greater than a cat's but less than a bird#varies clown to clown though of course. each unique in their capabilities#idk why thinking about this makes me want to cry. maybe it's the headache. THEY'RE ALL JUST LITTLE GUYS#ough... they're all so good.#every time i do one of these tag rants i'm reminded why i'm not one for maintaining a mysterious appearance LOL#key's lockbox
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people are sooo weird about thrifting and resellers. do you know how much clothing ends up in landfills? everyone who is working to keep clothing out of the landfills is fucking awesome in my book. there is NO SHORTAGE of used clothing. not even CLOSE.
#resellers have been around forever btw#it's especially annoying from people who either are new to thrifting or don't even thrift!#honestly what has made thrifting worse over the past decade is: corporate greed and the proliferation of ultra fast fashion#not resellers.#some people don't have the time or the patience to thrift and that's fine. they can buy from resellers#the people who do like to thrift can go to the thrift#but idk i just don't get why people get SO MAD about stuff like that#it's just WEIRD. how are thrift stores ok but resellers aren't?#like i know you don't care about sustainability if you're the type to get irate about resellers#so i guess keep shopping at shein ....#also lmfao i've gotten amazing stuff from resellers in different areas before so idk i'm glad i'm not limited to just local thrift stores#appreciate them endlessly. because it IS a job and it IS work#sorry i'm ranting again i'm just so annoyed all the time it's a sickness
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Time for another just woke up half baked thought
But like idk. If you think that the core, the root, the main signal or red flag, of TERF ideology is "man hating" then I think you need to seriously reevaluate how you're identifying transphobia
The core of TERF ideology is, and always will be, misogyny. It's about cutting down the abilities of women to reinforce a gender binary. It's about demolishing any semblance of any other right when that binary is threatened.
One consequence of this is fearing men, and othering them- but very crucially, in ways that reinforce their role in a patriarchal society. Saying that men are implicitly violent still works within their patriarchal role, and reinforces the idea that this role cannot be broken.
But this is one of many, many consequences.
It can seem like the transmisogyny of TERFs is a consequence of man hating, in a first pass. But that crumbles when you realize two things- one, TERFs are more than willing to forget any other issue of women's empowerment to prioritize hating trans people, and two, TERF ideology is more afraid of trans people than they are of cis men. It's why they're more concerned with trans people existing in women's bathrooms than they are about cis men walking in. Or any actual cases of SA or violence cis men commit. The implicitly violent role that men occupy in the TERF mind is seen as a fact of life that they accept, and don't fear. Trans people are seen as something that can be "fixed".
It's all because trans people encroach on the gender binary.
Tbh, when I see posts treating man hating as the premier TERF dog whistle, it feels like mid-2010s anti-feminism memes.
Like yeah you shouldn't go around hating men. Obviously. But is your only way of identifying transphobia when it's about cis men?
Btw, this isn't about interacting with a Tumblr post. This is about identifying transphobic rhetoric in the wils. I've occasionally reblogged TERFs cuz yeah, I reblog a lot of stuff on this site and don't like. Extensively research every tap of my fingers.
More what I'm asking you to do is to identify TERF ideas that have become normalized. I've seen a lot of trans people themselves fall for bioessentialist BS, internalize transphobic talking points, and parrot back sanitized, "acceptable" versions of TERF logic because they fail to identify a lot of real dog whistles. Is this exclusively bc of what I'm talking about? Obviously not, but I think there should be more emphasis placed on it.
Anyways rant over
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some low points from the ry*an g*zman interview because i need you all to feel my pain.
when talking about his celibacy (yes he uses that word): "I haven't entertained any interactions with any other females" — gave me the ick 0/10
uses the phrase "a woman's touch," to explain why women are inherently good at interior decorating(?) and that this skill is how women are able to enrich a successful man's life — side note: at no point do they talk about how men enrich women’s lives.
immediately after this the religious imagery takes a left turn and exits my frame of reference, bc instead of just asking "do you think you still have things to work on?" like a normal person, the host says "I want to know what one Thorn is in your flesh." — someone raised more religious than i was needs to chime in on if this is normal christian doctrine or a sign he might be in a cult. (is it a reference to the thorns in jesus' crown?)
ryan makes a weird comment about how "you've seen civilizations built on [a man in love]" — genuinely idk what the fuck this means — but it leads into a tangent about like, men as providers and how "I would do anything for my women."
"peace is key yeah we got enough problems in the world outside the house and so long as I come back to the house and I get peace," — maybe i'm being pedantic but the way he keeps framing woman as belonging in the home is 🚩🚩🚩🚩
"for the next woman I would have in my life I can see that they navigate their their problems and still offer peace to their men." — again 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
surprisingly claims he has been to therapy, which assuming is true, idk it worked.
the host: "women may be fighting internal battles you know kind of themselves do you believe that a woman still fighting those battles are able to still bring peace" — because remember ladies, no matter what you're going through your job is to bring peace to your man's home.
there's some more brief gender essentialist bs where ryan talks about how men "like to fix things," but are bad listeners, and how "problems within women are so specific to women that I wouldn't even try and and say that I have a grasp on them."
then the host randomly asks him if he thinks men need to be financially stable before entering a relationship or if dating a broke guy is a way to "present loyalty."
weirdly ryan actually kind of dodges this question, but ends up suggesting social media is a good place to get "great examples of what does and what doesn't seem to work." in relationships — and no. no it isn't.
oh and then he starts talking about conor mcgregor for some reason? and how it's bad he disrespected his wife by stepping outside their marriage — and i mean sure, although infidelity feels second to the rape accusations??
says it's harder for a woman to come into a man's life when he's already established because "now the man has proven to himself that he never needed a woman." — which, interesting given how later he talks about how women need to stop trying to do the independent woman thing.
he also gets weirdly possessive over his daughter at one point. does the classic "God forbid I find out that man disrespects my little baby." — idk, on the surface he talks about how he wants her to know her value, but it seems like he has a pretty limited view of what that value is.
the host drops lore about how she moved out of her parents house at 14/15 and how she had to "stop thinking like a woman and start thinking also like a man," but stay feminine and "know what a man wants and how to cater to that but also still be soft." — i mean good lord, i don't even know where to start 🤢.
this btw is the preamble to ryan's rant about "independent women."
and god the more i read the more i am deeply concerned about the woman hosting (i saw someone earlier say she's 21). this woman is barely an adult and has so much internalised misogyny, talking about how "us women don't know how to direct our emotions." and "in today's generation a lot of men are deprived of even the small things because a lot of women are takers."
this whole interview is utterly bizarre and i feel like it's taken years off my life. like i said earlier, this isn't a normal podcast he got weird on, this is straight up christian propaganda
#but tell me how this man is frothing at the mouth for bddie?#man admits he has weird feelings about kissing women on screen lmfao#911 abc#911 discourse
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