#idk why he talks in Spanish when talking about his family

[ceedeelamb]

Happy (late) birthday, king 👑🫡

[despairots]

miles 42 and miles 1610 are twins and fight over reader and try to impress her and stuff

━━━━━━━━ talk about first impressions.

earth1610! miles morales x gn! reader x earth42! miles morales. fluff and warning, there’s some suggestive comments from grown adults. i started this yesterday but im posting once/twice a day until i burn myself out from writing and deleting requests. reader is like peni parker. ignore the description, my brain was idk.

please remember that in my last oneshot, earth 1610 miles will be spiderman and earth 42 miles will be the prowler, the two are vigilantes, keep that in mind. also you’re an anarchist lolsies!!1!1! the spanish translation might not be accurate. leaving this on a cliffhanger too LMFAO. you’re always an anarchist in these oneshots.

where the morales twins can’t help but fall for the technology nerd who can do a lot of things, trying to impress you and gift you stuff in public, and with you, obviously being a talented person, you apparently have a lot of admirers, especially weird, old, strange adults.

you sighed in embarrassment at the two morales twins trying one up eachother with giving gifts to you or impressing you. some people would call you lucky, some would be jealous of you.

being fought over the two most attractive guys in brooklyn vision who may look the same but act like polar opposites is a nightmare.

the two may be extremely smart and artistic but they for sure, had different personalities.

miles morales is smart and passionate, committed to others before himself. he has a lot of love for science and art, which he got from his mother, making inventions since he was younger.

the two are both suckers for music, mixing beats as a hobby with their uncle aaron when they were younger.

miles is sociable around crowds, as even when he struggled to fit in after moving to brooklyn vision, would often start conversations with those he came across on the street.

though many of his acts are selfless, mikes is partly driven by low self-confidence in his own abilities, feeling smaller than he is.

since becoming spiderman, miles is extremely eager to help others. this is as much to his credit as it is to his detriment, as he will often put himself in grave, life-threatening danger, in his quest to protect his friends and those he cares about.

myles morales, on the other hand, may also be smart but he’s closed off only being carefree with you and his twin brother. he also has a lot of love for art, spray painting with his brother.

myles isn’t one to talk, again, he’s closed off and usually upholds a stoic persona, opposed to his brother who doesn’t have a problem showing how passionate and cheerful he is.

with him being the prowler, and technically being labeled as ‘spidermans rival’, ignoring that the prowler is his own being. he had a strong morality of protecting his family and you after his father had died.

to which leads him also going into life-threatening dangers.

“[name], do you have any idea how lucky you? like, i would die to be in your spot!” you rolled your eyes at that sentence, “then do it.” your snark reply made a few people in the hallway snicker.

now back to you, [name] [lastname], the robot-technology-hacking loving nerd that grew with the morales twins and them fighting over you, it’s not something that’s lucky.

that constantly one-upped eachother to gain your attention, to the point they wouldn’t HESITATE to embarrass eachother in front of you along with literally fighting who got the best present for you.

it didn’t help since you liked both of them, i mean, how couldn’t you not like them? they were literally labeled ‘most attractive boys alive’ and their personality didn’t help, why do you think you fell deeply in love?

“i got the best gift-“

“i did!”

your bestfriend, gwen stacy, sneaked her arm around you, “i obviously did.” she gave you a smug looked as you sighed in your hands with embarrassment, remembering the time you two accidentally kissed (more like pecked eachother on the lip).

you two vowed to never talk about that again but since that was two years ago, you guys are all 15 by the way, which you guys were 13 by the time she stole your first kiss.

the morales twins didn’t like that, uhh, next!

“ahora no es el momento, gwen.” you muttered, expressing massive stress from the two and the welcomed gwen, “i — uh, failed spanish.” you made a ‘that’s-the-point-‘ look.

“siempre suenas bien hablando en español.” myles commented, shooing gwen’s arm off your shoulder and throwing his arm over yours instead.

“get apagado de [nombre], myles.” miles rolled his eyes and scoffed at his twin, “at least i get an a+ in spanish.” miles gasped at the comment with offence.

“this is why you’re failing science, estúpido!”

“estoy siendo peleado por gemelos estúpidos.” you pinched the bridge of your nose before sneaking out between the twins quarrel, heading over to foam party.

did i mention that you won awards and was on the news for making a working robot suit and finding out how to time travel?

mutters and comments were heard in the coffee shop, irritating your already bad headache. ‘i hate society.’ you rubbed your temples, before ordering your drink and waited.

apparently those minutes of waiting, you got… weird, suggestive comments from grown adults. your face scrunched up every time they said something about you.

“that shirt really compliments your curves.”

you’re were just 15.

“you’ll find a person just like me.”

they were in their late 30s.

“how ‘bout instead of wasting your pretty little time in this coffee shop, you come to my place.”

you just wanted your coffee.

“can i get your number?”

stop.

“you’re really sexy.”

stop it.

they tried grabbing your hand.

“i’ll treat you better.”

stop it. they tried kissing your hand before someone clocked them in the face, “aren’t you an adult, man?” miles’ voice was heard beside your ear as he tried comforting you.

myles rubbed his knuckles with a grossed look on his face. they saw that they were harassing you as you tried to move away from them, worst thing yet, nobody tried to do anything.

they saw what was happening but didn’t help, god they really hated adults.

“acércate a ellos, y será mucho peor que un puñetazo en la cara.” they ran off, myles grabbed your order as the three of you left. it was quiet, too quiet for your looking.

“i could’ve handled that y’know—“ miles handed you a box, opening it to which showed a necklace with a charm that was your hacker logo. you could feel the myles’ eye twitched.

“remember i got [name] a car—“

“shut the hell up, man!”

[name] after the morales twins keep giving them money and gifts.

[thesuperiorrobin]

Hi! I was wondering if you could do a Damian Wayne x Hispanic fem reader, it could be either a headcanon or a one shot.

YES YES 100% YES

I had this my in draft for so long!

This is based off my Hispanic live style bc I know not everyone does it the Same. I’m living my dream quince on here bc I didn’t get to have one 😭

Warning: Errors I’m to lazy to fix 

Edit: for some reason it’s not letting me put one last bullet point on the end so

❥ Dick is playing around with the kids in the bouncy house

❥ Damian 100% loves when you talk about your culture. The food, the dresses, the holidays you celebrate, EVERYTHING

❥ he especially loves it when you call him Spanish nicknames like, (Mi) Amor, Corazón, Cariño, etc.

❥ Damian was so happy when he came to meet your family one time and they had a meal prepped for him that was vegetarian, it looked like everyone else plate but the meat and stuff was replaced with stuff he could eat.

❥ I headcannon that Damian could speak fluently in Spanish as well as other languages. So communicated with your relatives that can’t speak English very well makes it easy for them and him.

❥ every party he goes to he notices that your family listen to the same music. And he can recognize them by name too like La Quebradora, La Chona, Baila Esta Cumbia, Te Vas Fetal, ETC. (there’s a long list I didn’t wanna write down💀)

❥ is a Selena fan. Seriously if you aren’t what are you doing with you life?

❥ Damians a fast leaner so he learns very quickly how to dance and stay on beat with everyone else but dancing to payaso de rodeo is a whole other different story that he doesn’t want to talk about😭

❥ try dancing Bachata with him and he’ll lose it.

❥ your family loves him so much they insist that you invite him over for Carne Asada💀. Idk they probably love him more than you ig

❥ they either call him ‘El Chico Rico de Wayne’ or ‘El nino con dinero’ and you tell them not to call him that. But Damian said he’s used to it which makes you feel bad😭

❥ Damian doesn’t really have a favorite food but I can see him liking Pupusas a lot.

❥ don’t even get me started with the Telenovelas and La Rosa de Guadalupe😭

❥ most of the episodes have you crying waterfalls. I’m telling you .

❥ this man can speak Spanish but he loves it when you speak Spanish back. Something about your accent just gets to him.

QUINCE EDITION: FT the whole family

❥ if you were dating Damian before you had your quince than he’s absolutely invited to it. You made him your main chambelane bc why not.

❥ Damian was never see so many people in one room alone. But when he sees you in the big puffy dress he falls in love with you all over against it’s sickening.

❥ you invited his family to your quince bc they get along with your family very well.

❥ during the father daughter dance he really wanted to kick them out bc Dick was having a moment and he wasn’t shutting up.

❥ but it’s alright tho bc you need up having a Dance with Damian after you were done with your dad

❥ Alfred took a lot of pictures and framed some of them in the manor.

❥ sometimes The older Tias would take him away from you and dance with him which is funny.

❥Jason is busting it down with the Tias

 ❥ Alfred took pictures of that too.

❥Bruce was having a nice conversation with the rest of your family members

❥ tim was stuffing his face in the back

❥ Jason was busting it down with the Tias.

❥ Dick is your laying around with the kids I’m the bouncy house

❥Dick was having fun with the kids in the bouncy house

❥Bruce was have a conversation with your parents and family.

❥Tim was stuffing his face in the back

❥ Dick was having fun with the kids in the bouncy house (do they have a name or??)

❥ Tim was eating his heart out in the candy section.

❥ and Alfreda as exchanging recipes with the grandmas 💀

[i-yap]

omg you are also south indian!!!! i find it really hard to find south indians on here, could you do the batboys reacting to reader wearing traditionally indian clothing for a wedding they are attending???

Im north Indian with a little spanish in me shifting to NY actually but yea the indian dc fanfic community is smaller. I love the idea of a traditional indian s/o with Jason particularly. Dick with someone spanish , tim with an African American, Damian with caucasion and bruce with someone asian. Idk why Thats just How I imagine it. Its in no way a canon to their character or a generalization of people from a culture but the cultures ,and norms and values of these cultures really suit the batboys. Hope this isn't offensive. So Im just going to do batboys x reader in a family event .

Batboys(tim, dick, jason , bruce)x y/n - At a family event

Dick Grayson

is also dressed in your cultural's traditional clothes. Dick has traveled all over the world and he likes seeing you in your traditional clothes. Being comfortable in your traditional wear, being in "your element" . He charms up all your family members, no-one even calls him the white boyfriend anymore . The women also hit on him( of all age groups srsly) He is part of the family by the end( or within 5 mins) of the night . Dont be surprised when you find him and your family laughing about what jokes your parents are going to make at your wedding. He isn't even nervous before going. He is a real charmer and you couldn't be prouder.

Jason todd

doesnt want to go. Really thinks your family wont like him and they probably wont the first time they meet him. Will still wear his leather jacket but at least he wore a white shirt and clean jeans? He even agreed to take the car rather then the bike. Will stop complaining the moment he sees you in your element. Like goddess pro max what even , so ethereal ,the world is shaking . Staring dialed up to 100/10 . plus his complaining was never serious to start with. He wants you to have a family, be connected to your background,. Its just one of the things that make you you and he wont change a single hair on you. Will probably get insecure ( I get set up or marriage proposal talks when I go to family functions - just indian girl things I hate it tbh. And I've noticed its a thing in a lot of cultures) because he'll think that you deserve that traditional life with people who 'get you" but no one will ever get you the way he does and you just need to remind him of that. He is a bit broody , tall and just kind of sticks by you . The men and boys of the group are probably fascinated by him so as the night goes he starts getting more comfortable around them. The kids lowkey like him a lot so its cute and you may get baby fever. And the older women of the group are poking at him( why the jacket? whats with that scar) and you'll have to rescue him. He'll do it all over for you though.

Tim drake-

time to put on that practiced facade. He is used to putting on a fake winning smile at those galas so imagine his surprise when his old tricks don't work at your family function. Personal space? privacy?? fake formalities?? don't exist. Bonus points if it isn't a fake rich family. But he gets to see you In a pretty clothes and he is simping, teasing you on how you look like a real girl now(but he lowkey prefers you in the geeky shirts you guys share) . he did research so like ask him the They are still very impressed by your respectful young man ( who is super rich and smart). He gets by tbh, a bit shy because he is just so not used to all this. But keep him near you, show him how to dance properly and get a few drinks in him and its a party. He loves it, your family loves him and your cousins are now his besties (don't ask when that happened). He loves having a family and it just leaves him with wonder. He is in awe of this and so grateful that you let him into your life.

Bruce wayne

does a lot of research . He knows exactly how to act, what to say and what to do. A bit cold and aloof . Still surprised by the whole chaos . But unlike tim he keeps his cool. your family is impressed by you "bagging" the rich billionaire boyfriend. If this is batman with robins ver then they are worried about the huge amount of kids he adopted and what that means for you. So uh..just mention the billion again? They ask really personal questions but bruce prepared and is so ready for it. He loves seeing you in your traditional clothes, probably encourages you to wear them casually too. As if anyone can stop you, go to galas in traditional clothes or just wear home traditional in the mansion. Over all he loves getting a peak into your life and what experiences shaped you to be the woman he loves so dearly now.

If there's anything offensive about this let me know and I will change the content or even delete the whole thing. Ive based it a little of the four different cultured families I have and the common stuff I've noticed in all of them. But I've tried keeping it as general as possible tbh. So I'm sorry if this is offending anyone.

[yukasyukasyukasyukas]

Random valorant agents headcanons bc I'm sleep deprived

(this means I didn't get my 12 hours of sleep today)

Brimstone

Hugest ally on the VP (which, lets be honest, doesn't mean much since they're all gay)

First person KJ came out to and he was so emotional about it

Constantly tries to get the agents to get closer or at least respect each other but after Cypher mentioned how him and Breach treat one another he gave up

Calls some agents (Viper, Sage and Killjoy) by their first names on the everyday and calls Sova, Chamber and Deadlock (the other ex militars) by their last names

I wanted to hc him an American football team but idk any💞💞💞

Viper

Brimstone and Vyse are the only ones to call her Sabine bc they know her since before the "incident"

KJ also used to call her Sabine before the VP but Viper was bitter abt agents calling her by her first name

Scared for her life of failing Reyna, not because she actually fears her, but because she actually cares about Lucia

Older sister who lost contact with her family

Aroace

Has a snake named Viper that is older than the protocol

Omen

Is annoyed by people mistaking knitting with crochet

Very kind to the younger agents

In his own way though

Killjoy

Has an older sister who doesn't talk to her since she was a teenager

HOW DOES ONE BECOME THE LEAD OF A WHOLE DIVISION ON SUCH A HUGE CORPORATION AT THE AGE OF 18???!$+2+_(not a hc, just a concern)

The fact her dad died before she was born probably has something to do with her closeness to Cypher and Brimstone

Rich af but rents an apartment with another girl and that place is absolutely precarious

Pays the rent monthly even if she doesn't spend a single night there

Has a huge lesbian flag on the living room and that has gotten her very straight roommate into delicate situations with her boyfriends

Her roommate is Brazilian from São Paulo bc I want her to

Very easily impressed by anything Raze does even if it's something she can do a thousand times better

I feel like she would main a duelist if she played val, probably Reyna or Raze

Cypher

Has a picture of his wife and kids on his bedside table

He keeps Nora's favorite clothing and his children's baby toys

Girl dad obv

Killjoy reminds him of his oldest daughter and sometimes he calls her his daughter's name

Hates kingdom but since he joined the protocol he learned how to convive with their workers, even if he doesn't like it most part of the time

Scares little kids on Roblox for fun

Wouldn't mind having a relationship with a man but after Nora he can't imagine himself in another relationship so he doesn't give it a try

(I love him and Nora😭)

Sova

Calls the other agents by their first names

Was friends with Sage since before the protocol

Recommend Sage to Brimstone

One of the only coworkers Viper enjoys the company of

Once he tried to speak Spanish to mess around with Reyna and Raze swore he was speaking Portuguese bc of the accent

Trans bc I want to project into my fav characters

Morning walks

Sage

Calls everyone by their first names

Has two younger siblings but she hasn't had notice of them since she started the monk training

Misses them

Met Skye when researching about her healing powers, Skye was doing the same

Born radiant

Great at cooking but Jett gaslit her into thinking it was bad as a joke and she still believes it

After Harbor joined the VP she got back into cooking

Lesbian bc I said so

Not much close to the other women in the protocol, only Skye, Jett, Neon and Reyna

Closer to the men on the VP (Sova, Brimstone, Cypher, Iso, Omen etc)

Doesn't have a clue of why Clove doesn't like her

Phoenix

Nerd

This man is a canon theater kid, he absolutely LOVES musicals, specially Hamilton and Jett and Raze tease him Abt being British and liking it

Bi

For some reason Jett gaslights him into thinking he's actually gay, obviously never worked

Him and Jett break up for the most ridiculous reasons, they've already broken up more times than one can count on fingers

Banned from every kitchen he steps on

Learned Korean só Jett would shut up about her being bilingual while he only spoke English

Once he let Astra undo his dreads to give him braids, it was the saddest day of his life

Raze bullies him for his style💔💔💔💞

Jett

Can cook five stars dinners but insists on eating leftovers she finds on the fridge and steals from the other agents

Doesn't dare touching Chamber's "monstrosities of dishes"

Makes people their favorite dinner and a special breakfast on their birthdays

Cooks for the whole protocol on weekends

Most my hc surround on the fact she's always eating something and was a chef😔

Gaslights everyone into believing the most random and/or stupid things and has actually convinced Gekko that dog is a common dish in east Asia

First thing she asks every east Asian she meets outside of east Asia is if they eat dog

Sage was mad at her for this

Also bi

Reyna

Actually very caring and worried for most agents

Siblings relationship with Yoru

Randomly starts speaking Spanish to Sage just to annoy her

Learned Chinese just to mess around with Sage

Lesbiana

Flirts with Breach as a joke

Iso actually believed she and Breach were a couple when he arrived

Homophobic to Raze and Killjoy

Non ironically has offered to find Raze a better girlfriend than Killjoy

Wants to be a mother but can't because of her duties and Sage doesn't like children

Raze

BRAZILIPPINES

Hugest anarcocomunist

Grafitti artist

Has sent Kingdom, Killjoy and Viper dozens of blackmails before joining the protocol

Didn't like Killjoy for her first years in the protocol

Boombot was created as a "rebellion" from Killjoy's tech with an alarmbot that Kingdom placed near her house

Has a younger brother who is her absolutely whole world

Capoeira.

Breach

Actually speaks Portuguese very well

Dad jokes

Hates children and the only exception is Raze's younger brother

Please please please please please read the joke I posted😭

Didn't get along with Deadlock nor Chamber at first

Gets along well with Cypher, Harbor and Fade

Likes men and makes it everyone's business and is very annoying to homophobes about it (bi)

Has kissed Harbor once just to see the look of terror on a homophobic guy's eyes

Skye

Lesbian

Owes a personal gun that she uses to scare bigots and idiots in general

Was guilty about rejecting Yoru

Still is very close to him

Skyelock beloved

The ship name should be changed to Hiking Buddies or something

Can make a cat with her powers and it plays with Nightmare when it's starting to affect Fade too much

Closer to Fade than most agents think

Morning walks with Sova and Deadlock

Yoru

Has a huge knowledge on east Asian culture in general

Speaks ainu and a little uchinaguchi

Values culture and tradition more than his life

Constantly educating Jett on Korean traditions???

Mansplains a lot

Neon (single) teases him for being single

Has the "lesbian curse" in which every woman he likes is a lesbian and it's starting to develop into an "aroace curse"

Homophobic to Killjoy

Misogynist to Killjoy

everything you can think that is bad against Killjoy

And Reyna is with him on these

Astra

Pansexual

Nerd on physics

Knows a lot about quantum physics

That was me projecting, sorry

I need more astra content to make more headcanons 😔😔😔

Galaxsea/ astrarbor/ Neptune/ sea star

Born radiant

KAY/O

Doesn't actually have feelings, he's just programmed to make humans feel loved (besides, obviously, being a war machine)

It was a way of keeping the non radiant soldiers hopeful during the radiant war

He's a robot, of course he doesn't have feelings

Killjoy is absolutely fascinated by him and wonders if it was her who built him or at least made his project

The "hatred" he has for the radiants is also a way of keeping the non radiants feeling safe and appreciated

Sage is the exception from his radiant hatred because she's always appeared to be against Reyna's radiant dominant ideal world and he read that as a powerful ally to his cause

He's AI ofc he's gonna be a little dumb even though he's from like 2060

Chamber

I refuse to

Does he like men?

Was homophobic to Killjoy and Raze when they started dating and to Sage and Reyna

Was actually homophobic

Turned out he likes men???

I'm confused

I don't like him

Neon

BRAZILIPPINES

She probably knew Killjoy before the VP or at least heard about her not as an professional but as a person

Definitely likes women

Since she became a radiant at such a young age and os so powerful there were probably lots of accidents

Was mostly isolated from the outside for a long time before the thing that is sticked to her back was finished

That'd explain why she doesn't like making new friends, she doesn't know how to

Knows a lot of stuff involving quantum physics and science since her parents work at kingdom and she has worked with them

Fade

Constantly found sleeping on the floor

Sometimes she leaves Nightmare out of her bedroom to get a peaceful night of sleep

Goes to sleep on about the same time Skye is waking up

Fadelock goes hard too

You'll rarely see her awake but when you do she looks like she hasn't slept in a decade

Doesn't actually sleep, just take 30 min naps throughout the day

Took a while to stop calling Harbor "agent Batra" during missions

I just checked and that is lore inaccurate but idc

Likes men and women, never stopped to think of it as "oh, I'm lgbt" that's just one more small detail about her

Had a cat that her brother gave her when she was a kid, it died of kidney failure a few years before she joined realm

Harbor

History and architecture nerd

Also a philosophy enthusiast

Has a tattoo that says "Memento mori et memento vivere" and that's what caught Astra's attention at first

Him and Astra spend a lot of time just nerding around

He's very caring yet not much protective to the younger agents

Randomly throws water at people who walk by

Breach and Deadlock learned on the hardest way not to be around him with a glass of water

Calls Fade Hazel because at first he thought that was how it was and never corrected it

Older brother of two sister

Pansexual

Gekko

Grafitti artist

Is an only child but is very close to the children is his neighborhood

Gay

That guy looks so gay I'm gonna cry

Has a dog named Lizard

Him and Raze talk to each other in Spanish and Portuguese and it's an absolute nightmare for others to decifrate their alien language

Asked Sage if people actually eat dogs in Asia and was punished for a week, Reyna had lots of fun

Jett still teases him about it

She told Iso about that and every time Gekko asks him what he's eating he says it's dog

Him and Deadlock are actually chill about each other for as long as one doesn't cross the other's boundaries when it comes to his radivores

Deadlock

This woman doesn't have a drop of heterosexuality on her body

She thought she liked Iso but it turned out he was just the only one not asking her to get along with radivores and radiants

Hates when she's called by her first name

Lost contact with her family and legally got rid of her last name

Skye, Sage and Sova call her Iselin or Ise

Fadeskyelock(?)

Used to go on lots of missions involving radivores before the VP but after the polar bear she didn't trust herself near them again

Graduated in biology

She wanted to be a scientist when she was a kid

Used to be obsessed about radivores and radiance before the bear

Iso

Can't cook for his life

Used to think he liked Deadlock but it was just compulsory heterosexuality

Aroace

Not much close with most agents but Sage and Deadlock

Him and Raze are absolute nightmares to go in mission with, those mfs listent to music so loud they can't hear anything else

KJ was scared of him

Only listens to music that are on languages he doesn't speak

Raze showed him Brazilian funk and he started listening to it during missions

Clove

Don't give a shit if they're misgendered

The pet rock is to throw at those who insist that they're a woman even after they correct them

Sleeps the whole day and is awake during the whole night

Immortal, queer, sleeps during the day... Are they a vampire?!

Randomly dresses up fancy and stays on that fit for the whole day, they can be seen wearing a suit during missions in breeze

Spends all their time awake doing unproductive stuff

Vyse

Was a physicist and later got into engeneering

She can't really remember those last years before the scions took her

Was took by the scions by Omen but none of them know

Doesn't like Iso

Her and Viper used to be very close friends, their friendship cou be compared to Jett and Phoenix's, they were very spontaneous

The "incident" was something involving her but no one really remember how it was

Ace

Had a cat named Jaguar

[thehistoriangirl]

my mexican twin.... I DEMAND MORE LATINX READER X VIKTOR!! (politely) i think its just fun to see representation even in lil silly fics hehe

TWINSIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE I SUMMON YOU!!!!!

For now I have some headcanons I would love to write into fics but I haven't had the inspiration to do it as prettily as I wish to 😭😭 I hope you like them 💛💛💛

Okay so the headcanons:

Viktor x Latinx gn!Reader (SFW)

TW: These are Mexican-related (bc I'm Mexican lol), but some can apply to different Latin cultures! :3

He DEFS gains a few pounds once you two start dating

Like either because YOU feed him (sometimes against his will bc he's """soooooo busy""" (shoving him a torta de milanesa during his lunchtime)

Or because YOUR FAMILY feeds him once you present him over. Imagine your cool grandma/cool aunt inspecting it with 😱😱😱😱 faces because MY MAN IS SO SCRUNKLY. It's a family's duty to up some pounds on those bones

And he enjoys to be being pampered you know, I imagine him like the classic "Oh but I'm full already 🥺" when you put another bowl full of pozole in front of him, and then he says he's only eating it for peer pressure around the table--but that's. a LIE!!!!

Yall can't tell me he doesn't get a round bump after a particularly yummy party. He's like starting to doze off on the table like a baby after eating his fourth tamal during your cousin's XV años.

Even if at night he's like 🥺🥺🥺 "my love my tummy hurts" (for the spice, idk why i headcanon he can get gastritis really easily lkfhjdklfjf) and here it goes the milk remedy winkwink

Also pan de dulce 👀👀👀 he falls in love with pan de dulce istg, and he can eat it with milk????? sign him the fuck up. The same with pastel de tres leches

Also he starts to mumble songs in bad Spanish--an idea @apuwu had talked with me over Discord before JKDJHDFJKFJH. My man is just vibing without knowing the grisly lyrics behind a seemingly happy tune

But you prefer not to tell him because he just looks so adorable mumbling it mindlessly while working <3333

He doesn't dance much bc his legs hurt if he keeps putting pressure on it during too long, but you can definitely coarse him into dancing one or two.

Otherwise he just likes to watch you dance, even if you don't really know how to/are a lil bit clumsy. You look very happy dancing with your family/friends that he gets smitten all over again

He's kinda scarred for life once he saw kids breaking a piñata during one of your nephews' birthdays & un bolo during a baptism (where the hosts throw money so the guests could pick it up) (iykyk)

He started to watch telenovelas by mistake. Like maybe you were watching one or just putting it like white background noise while doing something else.

And at first he was like 🙄🙄🙄 "if the characters would do X thing or Z, this problem would be easily resolved/this problem wouldn't exist", and you tell him that it is for the 💥d r a m a💥

As it happened to the best of us when you're hanging out in the living room and your mom is watching a telenovela---Viktor just gets HOOKED. He doesn't know when it happened or how but he is invested

Sometimes you arrive home from a date with your friends and find Viktor and Jayce watching a telenovela on the couch

[For context, in my lil derange mind, in a contemporary AU Jayce is Latino. No i will not elaborate thank you]

He helps you make the Día de Muertos ofrenda <3333 he just loves to gets all craftsty and he's so interested about the concept that he even brings a photos of his passed family members. May even cook something they liked to put it in there alongisde yours :3

For now that's all! I hope to make some short fics with these soon! Like during Independence's Day KDJFDJKFJHF <3

[camp-vamps-radio-b1tch]

Gonna make headcannons for my favorite characters because WHY NOT! >o<

Alejandro

He was born in Spain and lived there for about 5 years before moving to Canada

He has a 3 year age gap with José (he’s 19) and a 9 year age gap with Carlos (he’s 25)

Alejandro gets mad easily if he’s annoyed because of José. When he was younger If kids at school annoyed him he would express their anger, but soon he realized that kids didn’t like that about him, so when he moved he just got silently upset and would just ignore them if he got angry at them.

When Alejandro was 10, Carlos turned 19 and moved out to go pursue his soccer career

Since Spain Schools are so much different from Canadian schools (I mean in Spain the get to go home to eat lunch) Alejandro didn’t like the schools in Canada (he’s used to the schedule now)

Alejandro likes to put eyeliner on (sometimes mascara) and he has like this whole skin routine too

Alejandro straightens his hair almost every day, but when it gets wet it curls up. (His hair is more wavy then curly though)

Obviously he likes Carlos more than José. And since José never really liked him, Alejandro wanted to make sure that Carlos liked him. So whenever he did something that would upset Carlos, Alejandro got really upset at himself

Alejandro speaks Spanish to his parents most of the time, but talks to his brothers in English.

José beats Alejandro in pretty much everything, so he hates when he loses to other people. When he was younger he would get upset and almost cry, but now he just gets mad.

Alejandro listens to a good amount of Spanish music. Idk who he listens to exactly (despite me being Latina lol) but I feel like he’s listen to Selena

Alejandro doesn’t have many genuine friends. He’s using them all in some way. But he gets closer to Tyler and Lindsay. They annoy him sometimes but he starts to actually enjoy their company

Duncan

Duncan said he has brothers at one point in the show (so I gave him two) Duncan is the middle child. He has a decently big age gaps between his brothers too (idk how many years exactly but yeah)

His older brother (Dexter) was what inspired Duncan’s punk fashion and demeanor.

Dexter was a troublemaker as well, which influenced Duncan. When Dexter realized that he toned down what he did more, because he didn’t want Duncan to go too far down this rabbit hole of like crime and stuff (it didn’t work. Duncan is like worse actually)

Duncan is a major dog person. He loved his dog and cried when he ran away (he like never cried as a kid)

He got Scruffy when he was 13

Pretty much his whole family is disappointed in him (and Dexter) because of how much they act up.

The whole family went crazy when Duncan got sent to Juvie

Duncan knows that most of his family doesn’t like him, and that his dad doesn’t like him that much either.

His dad actually favors his younger brother (haven’t decided on a name yet) because he a good kid and doesn’t cause trouble and Duncan sees that. He doesn’t hold a grudge against his brother though because he understands why.

He loves giving nicknames to people (especially people he likes)

Probably a Mama’s boy

He collects lighters, and when they run out of fluid he puts them in a drawer. He has like a shit ton.

I’m a Duncan smokes kinda gal

Duncan steals clothes like a lot because he doesn’t have any money lmao

Physically he’s pretty weak. I mean he can throw a punch but can’t take one

He wears those over the ear headphones and covers them in stickers

DJ and Geoff are his best friends, but Duncan never pressures DJ into anything too crazy because he knows that DJ isn’t like him when it comes to crazy stuff (whether that be like smoking or vandalism)

He actually really likes hanging out and talking to Gwen. And why he does find her attractive, sometimes he kinda regrets dating her (SORRY I DONT SHIP GWUNCAN)

He doesn’t mind being friends with Zoey because he can drop his tough guy act a bit and she won’t judge (actually he can do that with DJ and Geoff too)

Since I’m a Malcan shipper lol I like to think that Mal and Duncan didn’t talk that much (bc Duncan didn’t recognize him at first in All Stars) but they interacted a few times. They both found the other attractive and kissed like once.

Sometimes he hangs out with Heather. It’s like a like-hate friendship where they genuinely hate each other sometimes but when the time is right they hang out together and have fun

Mal

(I did some research on DID so I hope the fronting stuff his accurate)

He was created by Mike when he was very young, protecting Mike from physical harm and abuse

Since he would front and get exposed to violent acts, he quickly learned how to fight back, which is why he’s so violent

He holds a lot of Mike’s trauma

He does not trust anyone, and he doesn’t care about anyone

Sometimes when Mike stressed about stuff that involved his parents, Mal would front. Usually during that time, Mal would find things to do that were kinda violent

As Mike got older, Mal started getting more violent. Mike didn’t like that

Mal found hurting his abusers very satisfying, so eventually violence in general became fun for him

Not so much Mal, but Mike’s closet is full of all kinds of different clothes for all his alters. Mal’s clothes are more dark and grungey

The reason Mike got sent to jail was for assault. Who he assaulted idk but neither Mike or Mal liked them.

Mal fronted pretty much the entire time in juvie because Mal thought that Mike couldn’t handle some of the people in there, and because Mal had gotten them there in the first place.

Once Mike realized what Mal did in juvie, and everything he did before he pushed Mal into his subconscious as he did not want Mal to front anymore. That made Mal extremely upset but he found himself not being able to front anymore

The reason he’s just straight up evil in All-Stars is because he was concealed for so long and felt that it was unfair and had bottled up anger

All the alters knew that Mike needed to leave his house, so Mal also tried to win the Million for all of them, because no matter what happened, he was created by Mike to protect him. Of course Mal was his own person but that in a way was a part of his purpose

Okay! Yippie! This took like 3 hours to write everything so if you read all this ily <33

I love these little goobers so much GRAAA

I might add things every once in a while based off other peoples headcannons so yeah just thought id say that lol

Maybe if I come up with enough I’ll like reblog this and list some more :3

[queer-whatchamacallit]

So I decided I was going to rewatch The Bear and take notes, partly bc autism and partly bc I want more interesting details for fics and just to get to know the characters even better

(Also, I’ve been curious about what makes Carmy blow up vs what makes him dissociate)

So here’s some things I noticed that you could also pick apart like I have here

Carmy has his apron on in the dream, maybe it’s just because that’s what he’s been wearing pretty much all the time for the past couple weeks or because his work is so tied with his family (w/ bears as symbolism for that) but idk

Him waking up on a random counter in The Beef confirms my headcanon that he falls asleep in weird places OR he fell asleep in the office and sleepwalked there

In this ep, any imagery or mention of Michael is pretty much always tied to religious imagery

Carmy calls her Sugar and him Mike, I’m always inclined to have him say Mikey instead but I don’t think he ever does. Also, Fak calls Carm Bear :]

“What’s UPS?” Is the first in a long string of times where someone tries to talk about something other than the kitchen, and it just doesn’t click with Carm

Syd’s “I know who you are” and Carmy’s “Yeah?” and he just listens to her completely riveted is so funny to me. Tell this man you know he was the CDC at one of the best restaurants in the United States of America and it’s like saying “walk” to a dog

Carm’s “I’m saying something >:[,” starts the classic Berzatto dilemma of no one listening to each other but wanting to be listened to

Reminder that Syd can speak Spanish :D

Richie talks about their “Italian heritage” and later says abt the labels “this is the most Polish shit ever,” which show how close he fits in with the Berzattos and his dislike of his bio family (Jerimovich is Polish right.?)

Richie talks about putting his family back together and him not coming home, and Carmy instantly dissociates

Him asking “Why didn’t he leave it to you then?” Not like a comeback, but a genuine question gets me every time

Carmy’s not good with words, so while this is something that just makes fun dialogue, in universe, it’s interesting to see how often his responses are parroted (ex: Marcus’ “that shit was straight up fire” and Carm’s “Straight up done now Chef”)

When it’s work time, it’s work time. When Fak stops looking at Ballbreaker to mention that he wasn’t able to go to the funeral but he sent flowers, Carm just says he wasn’t there either and swiftly changes the subject back to work

The three siblings and Richie all have gold necklaces. When Sugar shows up, I don’t know if hers was one of the matching ones, and I couldn’t figure out what the charm was on it

Tina says “Why doesn’t your sister come around here anymore?” Implying that she used to. I also feel like T wouldn’t have asked if Sugar stopped coming when she moved out and didn’t have to do what her mom told her to. Maybe Mikey kicked Sugar out of the restaurant too, but she wasn’t too bothered by it

Unlike with Richie, when Nat calls him out on not saying hello, just trying to get work done, he listens, and he slows down. Richie feels like his space in the family is shaky, so he’ll take a lot more shit from them while Nat won’t. She inherited a temper, just like her brothers, I feel like she’s in therapy and likely tackled how to stand up for herself when her family was treating her like shit, and she’s the “normal” middle child between a loud older brother and a worrying little brother, so she probably had to fight for her family’s attention at every turn

Nat mentions their mom and Carm’s eye contact instantly breaks, and it seems like he has to remind himself to breathe

His stutter shows up when arguing that he doesn’t want Jimmy to buy it

Carm’s “I’m gonna fix this place” vs Sug’s “No one’s asking you to” just hits so hard for some reason

When Carm tries to flee back inside, she uses “I love you,” like it’s an argument to keep him from throwing himself back into the restaurant or as a reminder that there’s people out there who want him to be doing well when she thinks the restaurant is hurting him

Sweeps is more of a background character but omg he just quietly looks out for everyone :] (he made sure Syd got to try Carm’s beef recipe :]]]])

Fak was also close with Mikey. I don’t know why I imagine Fak as being not quite as close with everyone as Richie, but they came to Christmas too, edit: Fak’s “but it got fuckin dark at the end” showed that he too knew something was up when Carm didn’t

Carm very much gives off the vibe of being allergic to cats, but I’m going to ignore that and squeeze in my headcanon that he loves Fak’s cats, Ralph and they love him

Richie’s dialogue is such a fun juxtaposition of him trying to feel superior to whoever he’s arguing with with large vocabulary and overconfidence but often falling back into vulgar insults because that’s what he knows best. Also, later in the ep he talks about “up in Napa” with the foie gras and shit to mock Carmy, but Napa isn’t up from them, it’s in California

Richie says “You have no fuckin idea what you’re doing here” and it’s like a switch, Carmy’s comebacks and annoyance with Richie stop, and he’s completely dissociated again. Richie shoves cans of spaghetti sauce into his arms and slaps at his face to steady him because he can probably tell something’s not right with him, but he just ends up leaving him to it

One of the Berzattos main love languages is physical touch via back and shoulder pats

And finally, Carm tosses the can of spaghetti sauce which I’m saying is because he just needs them to fucking listen and trust him when he’s saying no more spaghetti but there’s probably also some kind of Michael significance there too

Edit: I think I just had the realization that family stuff is what makes him dissociate while work stuff tends to make him panic and snap at people. It makes sense, snapping at his family would only escalate things and dissociating separates him from something he’s expected to fix. And Claire is kinda off in her category but falls under the panic response

So yeah!!

That’s pretty much what I got from 1x01 - System

I don’t know when or if I’ll do more of these, but this was so much fun, literally love dissecting these sad little goobers

[saliosis]

your subway order total is $19.21

(extra notes below)

ok, so here's the deal with the slight design change! (i swear, it's cool)

i wanted to make chuck latino because i joked about it once (w/ fred stoller being on handy manny saying "my amigos 😆" and then saying his colors look like the flag of colombia 💀) but it stuck for some reason. to me, it works PERFECTLY.... if becky can be an alien who is

"ambiguously brown"

then why can't a sandwich person like chuck also be brown, yknow 🔥⁉️

(help i keep accidentally latinoifying wg characters--)

chuck? nah. he is now, officially

chuck el sandwichero perverso 🥪🇨🇴‼️🔥

(as they call him in the spanish dub aka chica supersabia)

for starters, i wanted to experiment with changing the type of bread he's based on. i can assume chuck is based on the classic sandwich made up of white bread (...💀) so i wanted to change it up for latino chuck.... yknow... yknow.... yknow.... 🕴️

i'm also just not a fan of plain white bread 🤕 LMFKAJDKSN

i had a couple of options to chose from so i can upgrade his sandwichness™ 💭 but i decided to settle onnnnnnn..........................

funky multigrain bread!! my favorite 🥄🥄‼️ anytime i make a sandwich, i usually reach for this bread... (and when i say "anytime" i mean the times i'm extra and watch a chuck episode while eating a sandwich 💀💀)

i like the idea of chuck having seeds and grains on his face... think of it like moles, freckles, or even acne scars if you will 🤷‍♂️ brent straight-up has seeds on him that represent freckles so why not, right⁉️ we can get creative here w/ it!!

plus- he's so much more bread-like this way

above is a fast doodle, but it is what i ended up sticking with for my design. if you see in the final drawing, i did shift around with some of his costume colors to make it work with the bread type-colors!!

i imagine brent being a variation of bread that looks similar to chuck. that way chuck can be multigrain bread and brent can be another type.

parent who is multigrain bread + parent who is another type of bread = two siblings, each being one of two options of bread because of genes™ (wow. sandwich person science 😍😍🥪🧬 /s)

my two options for brent's bread type? because i will probably never draw that man? either molasses bread (left) or even dark rye (right)?? but i lean towards dark rye brent because that idea seems so scrumptious to me

ngl i have never been too sure what type of bread brent is based on......

the wiki doesn't really help me decide. he has freckles that seem to be like seeds, so that means he's a type of bread that has seeds. but also, not that many seeds.... which is likely an animation thing since animating all those damn seeds must be hard. but idk? but his skin tone is very slightly darker than chuck so that makes me think he isn't white bread based™ (help what am i talking about)

if any bread experts™ out there have some guesses, let me know so we can talk about that more. for some reason, this is really fascinating.

anyways.... latino brent can be real too 🤷‍♂️

um...............

brent 😍🥪🇨🇴🔥‼️

(because i swear to god they just call him brent in the spanish dub instead of his long ass name)

but yeah 👍 that's my little hc-chuck related ramble. i may not talk about him, but i really fuckin love chuck 😭

............ .. . . . ... . .... . .. . ...... . .. ...... ....... .. .. .. .....typing this out has made me realize how much thought, effort, and research i have done all because of a joke i made. a joke i made about a cartoon character from a kids show where we haven't gotten new content in years. and that it's likely that i'm the only person thinking so deeply about a family of sandwiches--

[kazumiwrites-fanfiction]

A Letter For You

SUMMARY: Azul writes a letter to you. WORD COUNT: 500+

WARNINGS: Book 3 spoilers (just adding this in case), Azul hating his old self/being fatphobic, Azul overthinking, basically if you know Azul's backstory it talks about that A/N: Okay so I wrote this in three different languages, I did this one last, and since it's translated from the original (which I wrote in Japanese, the language I'm struggling in most with writing (somehow even though it's my mother language wtf)) it looks so formal and blocky and Idk- I'm proud of myself for writing it in three languages but when I say I hate translating- (My summaries gradually starting to suck more and more-) Also yes of course I wrote about Azul he's my favorite <3 English (this one!) - Japanese - Spanish

© kazumiwrites - All rights reserved; please do not steal, edit, copy, repost (etc) my work without my express permission.

Dear kantokusei-san,

I always had a lot of struggles.

Every day, voices in my head would tell me that I was ugly. That I was just a dumb, hideous octopus.

I can't do anything.

"I want to smile always." "I want to live happily with Floyd and Jade."

But voices are always running around in my head, making me overthink.

Are you really my friend?

Even if you saw me as a kid, would you still be able to say that I'm different from him?

You wouldn't be able to, would you.

Because no matter how you look at it, I'm just a stupid mer that wants to be human.

I'm a horrible person who can't even accept himself.

"I can't be a human."

This is the truth. No one can change it.

I thought that I had accepted these words, and yet… I couldn't.

"I don't want to be a mer again."

"I want to stay as a human forever."

"I don't want to return to being that fat, ugly octopus that I was before."

And I also wanted legs. Human legs - /real/ human legs. Legs that I could have without drinking a potion or creating a contract. Legs that I could walk, run, play and dance with. Legs that I could do anything with.

Why? Why was I born as a mer, and an octopus mer at that?

I had been living like that my whole life.

Until you arrived, that is. That was when everything changed.

The first time I met you, I wasn't sure what to make of you.

"A different world? That can't possibly be true. Are you joking around?"

That was what I thought, and I was wary of you.

However… Even after the Overblot incident, you were nice to me for a reason I couldn't explain.

How could you be so nice to a person like me? I almost killed you, didn't I? Are you insane?

I told you this thousands of times. yet you still spent time with me.

Floyd and Jade teased me a lot for it, but you always defended me against them. Do you remember doing that?

That honestly made me really happy.

"You aren't such a bad person."

And before I knew it… I was in love with you.

I was surprised at first, you know? That I could feel this way.

What made me even more surprised was the time when you told me that you felt the same way.

If you say things like that, it'll only make me fall for you more, since I'm not used to words like that.

You are such an important person to me. I wouldn't want to live in a world that you're not in.

So… Would you like to stay in this world, with me?

I know that you most likely have ambitions, a family, a good life in your previous world. But if you could leave all of that behind to stay with me… I would be overjoyed.

I'll understand if you don't want to stay here; it's not your world, after all. However, I still wanted to ask this of you. Maybe I'm too greedy, asking you for this.

Either choice you make, I'll love you, forever and always.

With love, Azul Ashengrotto

As always, reblogs and comments are always appreciated! ♡ Send your thoughts grr

Feel free to send requests! Check out this post for info ^^

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

(Alright, going to stop procrastinating and finally make this post.) After playing through the new trilogy in French to see what was different, here are some things about the French localisation of Spirit of Justice I thought you should know:

First of all, I usually like the French and English versions of the games equally. This marks the first time I've actually enjoyed the French version... more than the English one?? Especially Turnabout Revolution? Don't get me wrong, I already loved it in English, but I think the next time I replay it I'll actively choose French. Idk man it just hits different when a bunch of French people are talking about revolution and overthrowing the tyrannical regime etc

Oh yes, speaking of which, yes, the "Japanifornia" parts of the game take place in Paris, France, as usual. No, I have no idea how Kurain village can be next to the mountains and also the sea while also being in the vicinity of Paris. I also don't know why the entire population of a small country in the Himalayas are fluent in French and use it on a daily basis. But seriously, the main characters mention SO OFTEN that they're French and from France, like, all the fricking time. Remember the incredibly Japanese rakugo case? Imagine that taking place in France.

The Khura'inese pun names are hysterical in French. An example that English speakers can get too: the first culprit's name in French is Sterh'uey Tu'heiven. I'm not making this up. That's his name.

RAYFA'S FRENCH VOICE ACTUALLY SOUNDS LIKE A TEENAGER INSTEAD OF A 30 YEAR OLD, THANK THE HOLY MOTHER

Unfortunately the Holy Mother giveth, but she also taketh away, and they gave Nahyuta a crunchy old man voice that doesn't suit his ethereal appearance at all...

Athena has now added German and Italian to her random English and Spanish phrases from the prev game. I mean... it made sense before, since she was meant to have lived in the USA in this version, but now I guess she just does it for fun? Who knows

French Roger Retinz uses €50 notes (euros) to fan himself instead of dollar bills

Inga's full name is "Inga Karkhuul Kel Nomh Bowkhou Tro'lon Pohm'peu Eh'Duhr Apronh Ons'ai Khura'in III" ("quel nom beaucoup trop long, pompeux et dur à prononcer")

Nahyuta's nickname in French is just "Yuta"

Ema and Apollo now use informal pronouns for each other, so do Ema and Trucy now, Maya starts using informal pronouns for Apollo from almost the first moment she meets him (though he uses formal pronouns for her lmao), and yes Dhurke and Apollo use informal pronouns with each other the whole time, even when things are awkward at the start. Rayfa and her mother always use formal pronouns for each other, which is a little depressing.

AS FOR NAHYUTA AND APOLLO... HOHOHO. Obviously they're both using "vous" (formal) in court, but in the scene afterwards Apollo switches to "tu" (informal) when he asks Nahyuta if he remembers him. Later in Turnabout Revolution, Apollo has gone back to vous but he's at least saying "Nahyuta" rather than "Prosecutor Sahdmadhi" or whatever (I think that happened in the English version too). Then during the final trial, after that one insanely angsty scene, Apollo starts using tu again and even (internally) uses the nickname Yuta once! Nahyuta eventually starts referring to him as Apollo and starts using tu after finally openly acknowledging Apollo as his family aaauuuuuugh ;o;

(Listen Apollo usually always tries to be formal and professional in court so this is a big deal!!! It's a big deal to me at least!!!!!!!!!)

In the English version there were a few times our good ol' American Apollo had a sort of "haha I'm just a foreigner I don't know anything here" vibe which... no you're not lol. The French version didn't have that (or at least toned it down a lot) and made him feel less like a tourist and more like an immigrant returning to his old home country with complex feelings, which he is. It makes it more personal that he's the one to bring about the revolution imo -- he's not some random foreigner swooping in to save the day, this is his home and his family, he belongs here. (As an immigrant myself I find aspects of him relatable and will defend his Khura'inese backstory to the death DON'T TEST ME)

The "what's crack-a-lackin' homie" line in all its glory:

[sixstepsaway]

right, so, here are my Thoughts about that whole thing now i've slept on it. probably won't be super coherent but here we go

i feel bad for stede. he got shoved, somehow, into the weird love interest role so many female characters find themselves in, where they are truly completed by a man and a romance not the things they've been striving for throughout the series so far. he's shown no sign of wanting to give up the pirate lifestyle he's just finally got back, and to accompany him giving that up with izzy's gorgeous "piracy is about family and somewhere to belong" speech from earlier just feels cruel. we joke about how episode 2 stede wouldn't care if lucius died but that changed, he got attached, his crew became his family. they were loyal to him and followed him even when they were just working at spanish jackie's for pennies. they respected him and loved him enough to let him talk them into letting ed back on board. this was, at least at this point in stede's arc, his happy ending. in fact, you can even argue he was happy without ed for a while at the start of this episode. his relationship with ed is important and it's icing on the cake, but it isn't something to complete him, or his only source of happiness -- nor should it be!!! and then for some reason ed shows back up, fishes up his leathers, kicks ass to save him, loses izzy and now they're leaving stede's ship and crew and found family to... run an inn made out of the world's shittiest fixer-upper? stede? stede twirly fancypants bonnett??? in that place? maybe at the end of a full run this might have felt like a good conclusion to his story, him realizing he wanted belonging, not necessarily to be a pirate, and maybe them bringing some of crew along to have their home somewhere safer and happier than the piracy they don't really enjoy but turn to because they have no other choice, but right now it just feels like... honestly like either he agreed to it to keep ed with him ("AITA for convincing my boyfriend to run an inn with me after leaving him two days ago because we were moving too fast? little backstory: this involved my boyfriend leaving everything in his life for me and no i did not apologize for running off to become a fisherman") or like, as i said up there, a matter of "actually all he needed was a BOYFRIEND all along" which... ngh. stede is more than his relationship.

idk why we bothered establishing that frenchie, jim and even archie were willing to put their lives on the line and lie to ed's murderous face to save izzy's life just for them to be stone-faced and have no feelings about his loss. like, okay, ed and he's stories are tied together and him dying in ed's arms makes more sense narratively than him dying in anyone else's, but also ed hadn't earned that and izzy deserved to die in the arms of someone who hadn't tried to kill him and shot him in the leg not to mention we went from fang's squishy hug and frenchie holding his hand to just... nothing? not a thing? roach, the ship's surgeon, did nothing to try and save him? it's just ed slapping his gunshot wound pathetically?

it strongly feels like they swapped izzy and ed's roles in his death scene sounds stupid but hear me out "you're my only family" would make so much more sense coming from izzy with ed dying in his arms. izzy's desperation to keep hold of ed, right down to accidentally pushing him down the kraken path at the end of season 1, being rooted in the feeling that ed is all he has in the world? ed responding that no, the crew love izzy. he's earned their love. he has a family outside of ed now, can't he see that? that makes so much more sense, considering izzy nearly died for them multiple times and spent the first few episodes trying to protect them and then being protected by them in kind he was their new unicorn!!! meanwhile ed said sorry to fang, izzy and lucius, and no one else has been shown to give any fucks about him since that whole thing, and like... rightly so? because he hadn't earned them back at all? and he fucked off on them too last episode lol dont forget he didnt JUST leave stede

we should have known better than to trust djenks when he broke jim and olu up for no reason ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ idk

nothing worth a damn happened this episode it was all running around and waving swords. idk how anyone got to where they were at the end. it was just poor writing.

the pacing has been off all season but they really shoved three episodes into one and hoped it'd work

i'm getting flashbacks to the timeless ~finale~ ugh

they spent so much time one ed's stupid fishing boat monologue instead of on ANYTHING ELSE

i ran out of thoughts

oh, here's another: the show walked a line between muppetry and things that were taken seriously lucius' finger, izzy's toes: serious ed getting bonked by a cannonball: emotionally serious, but not physically serious ed and stede both getting stabbed: not serious and what was treated as serious and what was treated as handwavy was dictated by what the storyline and the emotional needs were izzy getting shot to make it so they all had to run away yapping would have been hilarious, especially if he got back to the ship and went "nah eddie it's my left side, remember what i told you about the left? nothing important on the left" "your liver" <- roach, horrified but instead weird death scene because this was treated as physically serious, even though it...should not have been, really? and that is bothering me a lot too, because when lucius was thrown to his death, we looked at stede finding the crew on the island and went, "aha! lucius will be fine, because that's what the show logic is" and we were right, because the show had taught us that but that didn't extend to izzy for this and that's just weird

[redactahoe]

In celebration of the new guy audio here’s some honey and guy specific headcannons(tank is mentioned abunch though)

Tw:again hella unorganized, cussing, maybe some angst, mention of of abuse and neglect, fluff so fluffy it’ll rot your brain, i can’t spell or edit for shit

Srry for formatting issues, I’m writing this on mobile

Honey grew up in a shit home with tank as their older sibling and only care taker, their mother was incredibly sickly and wasn’t given proper medical care until honey, tank, and their dying mother ran away from Washington to daliha after somehow getting Gabe’s number and leaving a mysterious ass message to look out for a 14y/o(tank) and 9y/o with their half dead mom on sled in the middle of winter

Honey and tank grew up in a cult like environment with a small ‘settlement’ of people in the middle of bum fuck nowhere Washington, with honey and tank living the farthest in the woods. To far for them to talk to anyone other than each other and their parents

Honeys father was neglectful and possessive of their mother, so he would often hurt honey and tank(tank mostly) for taking their mothers attention away from their father

After they moved to daliha, instead of spending the holidays with the pack, they spent it in the hospital with their mama until she finally was able to leave when honey was 16 and tank was 19, but anyways this is how honey first met guy

Guys family (including himself)was and still is incredibly accident prone and got himself a trip the to the hospital cause his dad fell of the roof trying to put up Christmas lights, guy was bored in the waiting room while honey was two chairs away from him waiting for tank to fill out hospitals papers(idk wtf I’m talkin about) and guy decided there and then that they were the love of his life….. I’m kidding, they’re like 15 kinda

Guy struck a conversation with a reluctant honey but they end up hitting it off really well. Though all good things come to an end and honey had to go visit mama and thought that was the last time they would see that cute(tanker teases them endlessly for this one) guy….

That is until when school is back in session and they find out they have like 3 classes with him

Guy doesn’t find out why honey was at the hospital until years later and their pretty deep in their relationship that honey tells him

On less angsty note honey is a very large wolf shifter(slot like tank, it runs in the family apparently) with an affinity to healing magic

When guy is told/finds out about the whole magic thing he is elated at the idea that honey can get even cuddlier and give him magic boo boo kisses(they vehemently deny the notion)

When guy met the pack David,Milo,asher, and tank gave him the some shovel talk put in their own ways. Guy was scared shitless but honey ended up defending their lovable idiot

At said pack meeting guy and angel have a spider man meme moment and david and angel shared the same “oh god there’s two of them now”. Lovingly though

Guy know how to cook two things and two things exclusively, and that’s pizza (obviously) and box Mac n cheese but honey is the chef in the relationship.

Honey is mixed Romanian and spanish and use to spend a lot time in kitchen with mama and tank so honey knows how to cook

Honey works out a lot as an outlet for all the trauma and anger issues so their pretty beefy and guy fuckin loves it

Guy is almost always the little spoon but whenever honey is having a bad day or feels like it they’ll let him be the big spoon

Honey is secretly super cuddly but only with the people they trust

Guy is scrawny af

Guy can’t take much seriously but the first time honey had a bad day while they were just roommates, it was the first time guy got seriously with honey, he was so gentle though.

[floatinginzerogravity]

I did an Analysis of the Murder Drones Pilot for my friends and am deciding to post it: Pt.1

Okie, It's Murder Drones explanation time

okay, first of all, I've waited LITERAL MONTHS to do this, and WILL be pointing out every tiny detail, and would very much love to do this with every episode. (I am happy stimming so much right now)

If you don't feel like reading all this, I can provide a condensed version. I will just send a wall of text, I will fill it with my theories and goofy bg details, I will send excessive screenshots of the characters, and I will not feel shame. Be warned

so, The year is 3000 something, and humanity has been colonizing other planets, using half-sentient worker drone robots to mine them. Humanity then blows up the planet by accident (oops)

Just for clarity, this is not earth, it's a completely separate planet around 70 light years away called Copper 9 (Side note, it's technically impossible for a moon to have rings. oops, the show is scientifically inaccurate, it's ruined now/j) Anyway, the core collapse killed all humans and turned the atmosphere into a "toxic death storm" (description lovingly borrowed from N) The Worker drones, now free from human control, discovered their sentience. They build a society based on the human one before it, with families, schools, and all the other stuff

The Robot Sentience side tangent: Liam Vickers, show creator, when asked about the Drone's sentience- "It was kind of a basic, limited version... the disaster that happened on their planet that kind of left them kind of stranded, kind of played into their adaptive AI abilities.... You need a sort of intelligence to not fall over... it expands to keeping them alive in various circumstances" Basically, they were programmed to do certain tasks, and when humanity was wiped out, their goals changed and they were given the space to find their own sentience. Sentience can also occur if they're in an environment that promotes sentience or if their damaged/corrupted in some way

JCJenson (in Spaaaaccce) (aka the company that created the drones and runs colonization. The name of the company is also, apparently, based on a cleaning company. BCBoston or something) Decides they don't like sentient AI running around and sends Disassembly Drones to Copper 9 to wipe them out

(Text: "CALCULATING, MOST PROBABLE DEITY TO PRAY TO)

The implication here is that the blue guy threw his child when the attacks started. (I think the fandom named him Bob or something similar) This is the first example of the A+ parenting of Murder Drones characters.

V's just perched on a lampost lol. Very Creature™️ of her

Bg text #3 I guess

[Text: Photo cred: some dead dude lol] [Text: "dying is stupid and also dumb" -me, idk]

[Text: How do we fix this in a complicated Sci-fi way] So, Uzi wants to fight, and everyone else wants to hide, basic plot stuff, moving on

Her railgun has stickers lol

[Text: "Violently opposed to biological life" The rest is readable]

Khan (Uzi's dad) being the worst™️, an image collection

Something that will forever irk me until the day I die is why a robot has Testosterone????? Don't they not even have biological genders, or biology, like, at all???? I don't think robots need hormones, bud

I once saw someone point out that this is probably one of the first times someone has been nice to Uzi, as she has no friends, is bullied, and her father is a bit neglectful <- Understatement (I do want to say that Khan isn't as bad as most of the fandom seems to think he is. Doesn't mean he's good either, though)

Baby's first "Bite me", I'm so proud. (Fun fact, in Spanish she says "Jodete", which translates to "Fuck you!" )

HSDHJDSFNJKDSHJDFHGJFGBKJDFDKJG WHY DO YOU HAVE HORMONES?????? YOUR FREAKING ROBOTS???!!!!!! WHYYYYYYYYY (Plot: Uzi says that she plans to sneak out to find the last part for her railgun, and in the next scene she is waking up at 3:00am to do just that) Now time for deciphering Uzi's sticky notes

[Text: To do: >Talk to source

>...

>(I can't read the rest)] [Text: RESEARCH: How to turn "REALLY sad all the time" into "Look really cool"]

[Text: LIMAL NO 4EYA!!!!!] <- I have no clue what this means [Text:Murder ??? Matter ???? really at c?????] <- Again, no clue what this means

[Text: Uzi Dos-] [Text: Yeaahhhh, I'm not reading that]

Location: Khan's closet where Uzi steals the "Door Master" key from

"Yeah, everyone has a picture of their family where one member is mysteriously ripped out in their closet."/s -Liam Vickers, paraphrased from a reddit AMA

[Text: WDF of outpost 9 [Having faithfully made a slab of metal that can be a wall but also not a wall, on the 11th day of December, three thousand and ???]

[Text: You cannot be murdered by scary robots when .... a door, (unless they open it) A scientific]

I find it interesting that the DD's are referred to as "Murder Drones," which is not their technical name. It seems to be something only the WD colonies use

Fun fact: this line is a bit of a meme in the MD community

Plot: Uzi manages to lie her way out of the WD colony, enters the Corpse Spire, and finds the required part for her railgun. As she goes to leave, she's attacked by a DD, who she defeats with her railgun, only for it's head to regenerate.

[maladaptive-day-dreams]

Nobody Else

Eddie x fem!reader, 18+ smut, 6.1k words Inspired by a few lyrics from Ode to a Conversation Stuck in Your Throat by Del Water Group (they’re bolded in the fic)

CW: one-sided pining, smoking, grinding, protected sex, p in v, aftercare, mention of unprotected cockwarming, fingering and cunnilingus, edging, crying, possessive!Eddie, slight dom!Eddie, overstimulation, dry humping (Eddie to the bed), praise kink, fluff at the end

Tags: @hawkinsroyaloutcast​ @eddiemunsonfuxks​ 

Idk how but after editing it got 150 words longer...pls lemme know if you like it! This is the longest one shot I’ve ever written 🥵

You had a minor crush on Eddie Munson for a while—one that you were determined to get rid of because you knew he’d never go for you—before he suggested being friends with benefits, which you immediately said yes to but in a cool way.

“Hey y/n!” Eddie called from the doorframe across the hallway. Your head turned at the familiar voice. You and Eddie have had a few classes together and were paired up for most of the group projects in those classes so you were not quite friends but not quite strangers. You were acquaintances who would do class work and then smoke together, but Eddie was cool and you liked a lot of the same stuff so you wanted to actually be his friend.

You finished grabbing your books out of your locker and walk towards Eddie, “What’s up Munson?”

“I’ve got a question for ya,” he mused. “Don’t take it the wrong way alright, you’re hot and pretty cool, and you get along with the band and we always have fun when we smoke so I wanted to ask-“

“Oh my god, just spit it out Munson I have to get to Spanish,” you said, adding a breathless laugh on the end.

“Alright alright, Christ,” he responds, hand going up to rub the back of his neck. “Do you wanna be friends,” he pauses. “With benefits?”

Your brain stuttered and you paused for a little longer than you probably should have, but to have the guy you’ve been crushing on and been teetering on the edge of friends with ask you to casually have sex on a regular-ish basis? That was totally unexpected.

While your brain had been restarting, Eddie’s eyes searched your face for any inkling of a response before he huffed and said, “forget about it. Just forget that I said anything, it was stupid.”

He started to walk away but you quickly shifted your books to one arm and grabbed his wrist with your now free hand, “Eddie wait, wait.”

He paused and looked back at you, a mix of hurt and annoyance graced his usually happy features. “Yeah,” you breathed. “Let’s do it, why the fuck not.”

That had brought the biggest smile on his face, but he quickly hid it with his signature smirk. “Cool, meet me at my van after school yeah?”

You nodded and went your separate ways to class.

You couldn’t stop thinking about Eddie after that. Payed no attention in any of your classes, all you could think about was the fact that soon Eddie’s hands would be all over you. His lips would be all over you, his dick would be in you. And because of the not-so-pure thoughts that ran through your head you were getting turned on in the middle of English class talking about Of Mice and Men.

After that class you kinda rushed to your locker and swapped the books you had in your bag for the books you needed for homework—though you probably wouldn’t be getting any done tonight—and then walked outside while steadying your breathing. You saw Eddie in the left corner of the parking lot. He leaned against the passenger side of his van, cigarette in hand, talking to Gareth and Jeff. It’s like he felt your eyes on him because his flitted to yours and he smirked.

“Hey guys!” You said to Gareth and Jeff when you reached the van.

“Hey, y/n! How are you?” Gareth said with a hug.

“Hey y/n,” Jeff smiled.

“I’m good, thanks! Eddie and I are gonna have a smoke session while we work on the history project otherwise we’d invite you guys to hang out tonight.”

“Ah that’s alright, I’ve got family dinner and Jeff has a date tonight so it works out,” Gareth smiled. “We gotta do another smoke sesh with all of us though! I miss hanging out with you, 

y/n, Eddie needs to bring you around more often!” He half-yelled as he and Jeff started the walk back to their cars.

“Smoke session and history project, huh?” Eddie said, after he took a drag from his cigarette. “Nothing else? No other plans?”

“Shut up, Munson. I didn’t think you’d wanna let the world know we’re gonna be fuck buddies, plus we do need to work on the history project.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, I think smoke and sex tonight, history project in the morning. It’s Friday anyway, no one should be doing homework on a Friday.”

He flicks away the butt of his cigarette and opens the passenger side door for you, helping you in to his van.

“It’s only 4 pm Eds, you really think we can’t work on the history project even a little bit?” You asked when he got into the driver’s seat.

“Nope, we’re smoking and then having takeout and seeing where the night takes us,” he looked over at you and gave you a toothy grin.

And that’s exactly what happened that night. You smoked, ordered Chinese food when the munchies hit and then smoked some more.

By 8 pm you were fed and high as a kite and still so horny from thinking about Eddie in class so you took the first step. You shifted from where you were sitting next to Eddie on the couch, getting up and standing in front of him. His legs were spread, one arm on the edge of the couch that was previously by your head, the other held an almost finished joint to his mouth.

He removed the joint from his lips as you straddled his lap, rubbing your needy cunt on his crotch as you got comfortable. Eddie smiled from where he sat below you. Wrapping his free arm around you he held you to him as he leaned forward to put the butt of the joint in the ashtray on the coffee table. He pressed a quick kiss to your clothed shoulder as he dropped the butt in the ashtray and leaned back into the couch.

His hands ran down your sides, your hips, your thighs and stopped at your knees, where he drew lines at the junction of your knees and thighs. He looked up at you, pupils blown from a mix of weed and lust, and you both stayed silent as his eyes followed your movements.

You crossed your arms reaching for the hem of your shirt and pulled it over your head, tossing it to the couch beside Eddie. His hands still ran up and down your thighs, drew circles by your knees. His eyes bore into your chest as you reached behind to unclasp your bra, finding its way to the ever-growing pile on the couch. 

His hands went wide, gripping your thighs tightly as his eyes raked over your half naked body. He followed suit, ridding himself of his shirt. You both looked at each other, marveling at the newly exposed parts of you both that neither of you had seen before.

“Y/N, we only have to do this if you’re comfortable,” Eddie said, eyes trailing from yours down your torso. HIs hands were still splayed on your covered thighs.

“Eddie,” you sighed. You rolled your hips against his jean-clad hard-on, eliciting a moan from his soft, pink lips. “Touch me, please.”

He met your eyes and slowly, agonizingly slowly, trailed his hands up to your hips, thumbs finally meeting skin. His hands were calloused and rough but his touches were delicate as his hands traced your figure. When his thumbs caressed the underside of your breasts you let out a shaky breath, hips moving of their own accord to create friction on the blossoming heat between your thighs. Thumbs trailed over your nipples and you arched into him. When he took your hardened buds between his thumb and pointer fingers and tweaked them you moaned and Eddie’s eyes went wide. He tried to readjust himself below you but instead dragged gasps from both of your throats as his throbbing, clothed cock met your warm, clothed core in a slow stroke.

“Kiss me,” you practically begged, and he happily obliged. He wrapped his arms around you, sitting up to meet you halfway and pulling your bare chests together as he took kissed your lips with fervor. It was a sloppy kiss, full of tongues and bites and open mouthed moans as you rocked against each other, chests together creating tantalizing friction on your sensitive nipples. You pulled back, a line of spit connecting your lips to his, and wrapped your arms around his neck as he stood and walked you backwards to his bedroom.

He settled you on his bed tenderly, kneeling between your open legs. He trailed kisses down your neck and chest. He took your right nipple into his mouth, tongue swirling around it he suckled and let go with a pop. When he blew cool air on its slickness, your back to arched towards him. He lavished your left with the same treatment before kissing down your stomach.

“Can I take these off?” He asked, hands on your hips. You nodded and he made quick work of your jeans, pulling them down and tossing them into a new pile to be made on his bedroom floor. He looked to you again for confirmation before dragging your panties down and tossing them to the floor with your jeans.

You sat up, hands reaching for his belt. Eddie pulled you in to a kiss, hands on your cheeks, as you worked down his jeans and boxers. When his cock sprung free from its confines he groaned into the kiss. He released your mouth as soon as your hand grasped him, his hips bucking into your fist.

“Fuck.”

“Condom?” 

“Bedside table,” he breathed, one of your hands still pumping his cock while the other reached for the condom.

He took the condom from you and gently pushed your shoulders down to the bed. You looked down at him between your legs and watched as he rolled the condom on his aching dick, your own fingers dipping into your needy cunt to prepare yourself for how big he is. Eddie watched your fingers sink into your wet pussy as he pumped his cock a few more times before lining himself up with your weeping hole.

“Ready?” He asked, eyes meeting yours again. Your yes turned into a moan as Eddie pushed himself into you slowly. Your walls stretched around him, back arching into his chest, knot in your lower stomach starting to form. His arms held him above you as he watched your face change with pleasure, your mouth dropping open in a silent oh, and your eyes rolling back. It was a sight that would never leave his memory.

He inched himself into you, reveling at the feeling of your walls pulsing and fluttering around his cock. As soon as he was buried to the hilt your cunt squeezed around him eliciting beautiful noises from his kiss-bitten lips. 

“Jesus H Christ, Y/L/N, fuck me,” he breathed. “If I’d known how greedy your pussy was—swallowing me so well—I would’ve asked to be fuck buddies a while ago,” he teased with a smile.

“Shut up, Munson,” you met his eyes with a half-laugh. “And move, please,” you asked, nails digging into his shoulders.

He loved that he had you begging already. He knew after this—after getting to feel your hot, wet cunt—that he was going to sit you down and talk all things sex and kinks so you both could get the most out of this friends with benefits relationship.

He kissed up your chest as he pulled back slowly, meeting your lips and swallowing your moan as he pushed back in to the hilt.

“More,” you begged. “Faster, Eddie.”

And he was happy to oblige. His kiss became more demanding as his thrusts became more forceful. The sound of slapping skin and muffled moans and the scent of sex filled the room. He held himself up with one hand and led one of your legs around his waist, your other one following soon after. At this angle his tip was hitting that sweet, spongey spot inside you that had the coil in your stomach winding tighter and tighter.

“Right there! Fuck, right there,” you whined. He dipped his head to yours, taking your lips in another heady kiss as he continued his assault on your pussy. One of Eddie’s hands trailed down your hips towards your center and traced rough circles onto your clit, drawing a moan from you.

Without warning, the coil in your stomach snapped, and your walls fluttered and squeezed around Eddie’s cock as you came. He let out a soft fuck at the way your pussy gripped his cock, your slick leaking down your thighs and ass as he continued to fuck you through your climax. A few more thrusts into your wet cunt had Eddie’s dick twitch before filling the condom with his seed, the sound that left his throat as he came was animalistic and raw. He continued to piston into your heat as his cock softened and your pussy fluttered around him before he pulled himself out and rid himself of the used condom.

Eddie slid off the bed and lifted you into his arms as he walked into his bathroom. He set you on he toilet so you could pee while he grabbed a towel from the sink and wiped your slick from his thighs and the base of his dick. He tossed the used towel into his hamper and helped you climb back into bed, pulling the sheet over your naked bodies. You were confused but thankful when Eddie wrapped his arms around you and laid your head on his chest.

“Do you need anything? Water, a snack? Cuddles, a movie? Sleep?”

“Eddie,” you said questioningly. “We’re friends with benefits. Isn’t now the point where I put my clothes back on and do the walk of shame home?”

His laugh reverberated in his chest. “Just because we’re friends with benefits doesn’t mean we won’t do aftercare or hang out after we fuck.”

“Aftercare?”

He pulled back to look at you, “don’t tell me your asshole exes never gave you aftercare.” Your silence was loud in his ears. “Jesus, okay so aftercare is what we need after sex. Sex can take a lot out of you mentally, emotionally and physically and aftercare is supposed to supplement the missing parts of those after, hence after care. Like for me, this right now, this cuddling and a little hanging out is what I need after sex.”

“Okay, um I think cuddling and hanging out will be good for me but also maybe talking? About what we did and then also maybe just in general? My ‘asshole exes’ never really talked about what they liked or didn’t like or ask what I liked or didn’t like and usually just went to bed or played their video games after.”

“We can definitely do that,” Eddie smiled at you. “Cuddling, hanging out and talking. That’s a good start.”

“And maybe some reassurance that this isn’t going to change our friendship at all,” you laughed.

“Oh so we’re friends now?” He chuckled, “don’t worry Y/N, nothing is going to change.

So the rest of the night consisted of cuddling, a movie, and talking through the good parts and not-so-good parts (of which there weren’t many) of the evening as well as just talking in general. Before you knew it, both of you were asleep in Eddie’s bed.

That was the first time you stayed the night at Eddie’s and nowhere near the last.

That was six months ago. And since then you talked kinks, hard limits and soft limits, and everything in between. You explored each other’s bodies at least once a week, sometimes multiple times a week, and usually ended up spending weekends in the Munson trailer. Eddie opened you up enough to start exploring your sexuality more, he made you comfortable enough to talk to him about what you’ve done, what you want to do and what is a little scary but a little interesting to you. He talked through what he’s done, what he wants to do and what he’ll be happy to help you test out.

You know some of the gang is getting a little suspicious—there were only so many projects you could blame your extended periods of time together on—but neither of you really care. You’re both content with learning about each other and through each other.

There are also times where one or both of you aren’t up for sex on one of the nights when you hang out. Instead, you’d go to the movies or get dinner or just smoke and plan the next DND campaign together. It was nice. It is nice.

And your crush you swore to get rid of? It’s still there, and you still try to snuff it out so you don’t ruin the good thing you have going with Eddie.

It’s Friday and Eddie has been a tad more touchy than usual at school recently. Even going so far as to hold your hand under the cafeteria table at lunch today, his thumb rubbing circles into the back of your hand.

When the bell rings he says by to the boys and walks you to your locker.

“My place after school?” He asks, shoulder blocking you from the rest of the hallway.

“Yeah,” you smile at him. “What plans do you have for us tonight?”

“That, my dear Y/N is a secret. But I think you’ll enjoy it,” he smirks, a lustful glint in his brown eyes. You scoff and close your locker.

“That’s what you said last time.”

“And what? You didn’t like warming my raw cock in your wet little pussy and not being allowed to fuck yourself on it? I, personally, loved how needy you got after a while and how much you clenched around me.”

“Eddie!” You half-laugh, half-scold him, smacking his arm softly with your textbook. “I’ll meet you at the van after last period.”

“See you then, sweetheart.”

Classes went by quickly and you’re buzzing with excitement about what Eddie has in store for you at his trailer all through last period. When the bell rings you get up and head to your locker to switch out your books and pick up your homework for the weekend. Walking outside, Eddie and the van aren’t in their usual spot at the corner of the lot. Instead he’s right out front, leaning against the passenger door with a cigarette like the first Friday night you fucked. 

“Hi, Y/L/N, ready to go?” He asks with a smile and open arms.

“Well this is different, and more out in the open,” you laugh, accepting his hug. You part from each other and he opens the passenger door for you.

“M’lady.”

“Oh such a gentleman,” you tease hopping in.

“Enjoy it because I won’t be a gentleman when we get home,” he smirks at you when he gets in the drivers side. You shiver with anticipation and he starts the van starting the drive to his place.

The drive is comfortable, constant conversation flows between you as you talk about school and life and sex.

“Can I get a hint, pleaseeeeeeeee?”

“No ma’am,” Eddie says with a laugh as you turn onto his street. “My lips are sealed.”

“Ugh fine,” you huff.

“Have patience, sweetheart. I promise you’ll like it.”

He pulls into the driveway and you both get out of the van and walk to the trailer door. Once inside you both put your backpacks by door and stand in the doorway looking at each other.

“So,” you pause. “Are we smoking and doing takeout like usual or?”

“No smoking. I want you to be present for what we do tonight, I want both of us present,” he smiles slowly, eyes raking over your body. “Up to you if you want to eat before or after. It might be a while.”

“Food after,” you say a little too quickly. You’re too excited to think of anything other than Eddie and his plans.

Eddie smiles and holds his hand out, palm up. You place yours in his gingerly and he walks you to his bedroom. Once inside his room, the door closed, Eddie put on music at a low volume and met you in the middle of the room.

“Can I-“

Eddie shakes his head and kisses you quiet. It’s a soft kiss, and when he pulls back he starts first. He rids himself of his shirt, toes of his shoes and takes off his jeans, standing before you in just his black boxers. You’re yes go wide as Eddie kneels and helps you take off your shoes. He moves his hands to the top of your shorts and with a nod of your head shimmies them down your hips, placing a kiss on your newly exposed thigh. He stands and removes your shirt with another nod of your head.

You stand together in the center of his room. Eyes taking in bodies. The air between you is charged, but something feels different this time. Eddie snaps out of whatever haze he was in when you ask shyly, “do I get to know what’s on todays agenda now?”

He smirks, “I want to see how long you can last.”

You rack your brain trying to understand. Then it hits you, “edging?!”

“Yes,” he says with a nod. “I know it was an interest for you and I think we should try it today.”

You stay silent.

“What are you thinking? Talk to me Y/N.”

“I-“ you pause. “How? I mean, with what?”

“Just my hands,” he smiles at your sudden shyness. His eyes trained on your lips as you pull your lower one between your teeth.

“Ok.”

“Yes? I need a solid yes or no, sweetheart.”

“Yes, Eddie.”

He smiles and settles himself in his bed, on his side with one hand propping his head up and his back to the wall. “Come here,” he says patting the open space beside him. “But take off your underwear and bra first.”

You do as he says and lie down beside him, flat on your back with your face turned toward him. Your eyes meeting his sweet brown ones.

“You know your limits. We’re going to use lights for this okay. What are they?”

“Green means keep going, yellow means slow down, red means stop.”

“Good girl,” he coos. “How are you right now? What color?”

You breathe deeply, thankful for the addition of praise. You talked about that a few weeks in to this. “Green,” you say lightly.

“Talk to me okay? Tell me how you’re feeling.”

All you can do is nod your head. Anticipation and nerves running high, your body erupts in goosebumps as soon as Eddies warm hand runs over your stomach. He lazily runs his fingertips across your tum, and down towards your core. Your thighs open wider for him.

“Green,” you let out with a breath.

“That’s my girl.”

His hand dips between your thighs, middle and pointer finger running through your wet folds.

“So wet for me already? What has you dripping like this?”

“You,” you sigh as his fingers stroke through your folds again, teasing at your weeping hole. “You, Eddie.”

Eddie groans and his dick twitches in his boxers. He’s growing hard from your admission and how vulnerable you’re willing to be for him. He hopes he can hold out long enough to see this through.

“Babygirl, you’re so good to me.”

At the pet name, your hole clenches around nothing, his fingers beginning to work at your engorged clit. Eddie rubs slow and fast circles over your sensitive bud as he watches your face change in pleasure. You feel a tightness start in your lower stomach.

He kisses your bare shoulder, “look at me Y/N.”

You struggle, the pleasure shooting through you overwhelming your senses, but you open your eyes to look at him.

“Play with your tits while I touch you.”

Your eyes go wide but you nod. Bringing your hands up to squeeze and knead at your breasts. As you move to tweak your nipples, Eddie moves his fingers from your clit and slips one inside your cunt.

The gasp that falls from your lips is music to his ears. He continues to watch as you pinch and roll your hardened nipples, reveling in how your pussy clenches around him with every pinch of your sensitive buds.

He thrusts his finger into you at a slow pace, reaching that sweet spot but barely caressing it with the tip of his finger. “How are you?”

You don’t respond, head still turned towards him, eyes closed in ecstasy. He removes his hand at your lack of communication and you whine at the loss, cold air hitting your pussy where his hand was keeping you warm, walls clenching around nothing.

“Eddie,” you breath out.

“What color, Y/N?” “Green, so so green.”

He laughs lightly and palms your warm cunt before slipping two fingers in this time. You let out a soft fuck and arch your back. Your hands go back to kneading and giving attention to your sore tits. Eddie works his fingers in and out of you at a faster, more eager pace, thumb coming to rest on and rub at your clit.

The coil in your belly tightens all the more. Eddie feels the flutter of your walls and he pulls his fingers from you.

You mewl, and nudge the arm his head is resting on with your nose. “Eddie.”

“I know honey, I know you were close,” he pulls his fingers to his lips and sucks them into his mouth. Tasting your sweetness for the first time today, he groans. “Always so fucking sweet.”

You watch him as he licks his fingers that were just inside you and your legs move to close and create pressure where you need it.

“Ah ah ah,” he tuts, hooking his top leg over the thigh closest to him and keeping you open. You whine again but he swallows it with a kiss. He pulls back and your lips chase his. He trails wet kisses down your neck and shoulder, leaning over enough to lick a stripe over your breast and take a nipple into his mouth. You gasp, hands moving to his hair to keep him close to your chest. He moves from your nipple to the top of your breast, kissing as he moves but stopping to nip and bite and mark you.

When he notices your breathing level out again, his hand trails back down to your core, repeating his ministrations from the first round until you’re writhing under him. Walls fluttering around his fingers, he pulls away. This time you cry out, hips bucking up trying to chase his touch.

“Color?”

“Please.”

“Color, Y/N.”

“Fuck, I don’t know, I just want you, please.” Your head is getting fuzzy with need and you can’t think straight. You just want Eddie’s hands on you, fingers in you, mouth on you, cock in you, something.

“Baby, you know what you need to do to get my touch.”

“Green,” you huff. He can tell you’re getting antsy, chasing a high he won’t let you have, but he also knows when you’re truly done. When you’re really overstimulated and recoiling from his touch instead of chasing it.

“Good girl.”

After heady kisses, trails of hickeys and hands on tits, his hand moves to your cunt again. Fingers pumping faster, hitting the spot that has you squirming and trying to fuck yourself on his fingers. Bringing you just to the precipice, before removing his hand for the third time that evening. It feels like you’ve been here for hours, begging for his touch, for release.

There are tears in your eyes as you let out a breathy, “green. Please.”

He kisses your tears away before meeting your lips with his. You open to him, all tongue and teeth. When you pull away to breathe again you meet his brown eyes, soft and full of lust. Both of you are looking at each other with so much desire and reverence as he runs his hand up and down your body, from your stomach to your collarbone that’s now littered with hickeys from his last attack to your lips and neck. Your breathing alines with his and he lets his hand trail lower.

“You’re doing so good for me sweetheart. So so good,” he moves his fingers slowly through your folds with his praise. Fingers moving first to your clit, puffy and sensitive and begging for a release. Eddie rubs circles into your nub before pinching it which elicits a mixture of a moan and scream from your throat. He groans and says what he’s been thinking for the last few months, “I don't want anybody else touching you like I do.”

You can hear him but can’t respond, throat closed in pleasure.

“Is it okay? That I don't want anybody else touching you like I do? Tell me that nobody else touches you like I do. Tell me that nobody else touches you like me.”

He continues to rub and tweak your clit faster and harder until you move to push his hand away. He pulls back entirely. “Color?” He asks before looking to your face. You’re actively crying from the overstimulation and edging. “Baby? Y/N?”

“I-I can’t do it anymore, I can’t go any further. Red.”

His heart squeezes. He hates to see you in any sort of pain, even if it was from too much pleasure. “Okay baby, that’s okay.”

He pulls your body closer to him and strokes your hair to try and calm you down.

You’re overwhelmed. From his hands, from the edging, from his confession. Your breathing slows as Eddie kisses your forehead.

“Y/N?”

You meet his eyes.

“Can I help you get what you need? Can I help you finish?” He asks with so much sincerity and care.

You nod, “please.” Eyes going watery again from the build-up of pressure in your belly. It’s withered but still lingers, an ache you know won’t go away until you cum.

He smiles softly at you, “I know we haven’t done it yet, but can I use my mouth?” He asks eagerly. “It’ll be the softest way to get you there.”

“You want to-to eat me out?” You question. He knows no-one has ever gone down on you before. You mentioned it months ago after you gave him a blowjob that he said ‘was so amazing, lemme return the favor.’

He nods, “please, baby. I want you to finish on my tongue.”

You nod and his smile grows wide. He moves down the bed from his position beside you, settling himself on his stomach between your thighs. You feel his warm breath fan over your wet, aching cunt and hiss at the feeling, your puffy lips so sensitive from Eddies earlier onslaught of pleasure.

“Color?”

“Green, Eddie, please make me cum. I need it.” You whine.

With that, Eddie dips his head to your pussy. He flattens his tongue against you licks up your folds. You moan and your hands find leverage in his hair. You pull him against you to keep him close to your core, overwhelmed by the pleasure and new feeling of his mouth on your most intimate parts.

His soft, wet, warm tongue catches your throbbing clit, running circles around it until he sucks on it. You arch your back at the pleasure, hands pulling him closer to your cunt, smothering him in your wet folds.

He continues his assault on your clit before kissing his way down to your weeping hole. You clench around his tongue as he thrusts it into your pussy. Eddies hips move of their own accord, humping the bedsheets below him at the same pace he moves his tongue in and out of you. He pulls out his tongue and circles your hole before pushing back in you pull on his hair at the sensation. He moans into you and you feel it everywhere. It reverberates through your entire body, nipples hardening, toes curling, heart racing.

His nose puts pressure on your clit as he continues to eat you out, tongue thrusting into your cunt at a ruthless pace until your walls start to flutter around the wet muscle. It hits you like a freight train. The coil snaps and all the built-up pressure releases.

“Eddie!” You scream his name and close your thighs around his head as you cum in spurts onto his tongue. Your legs shake around his head as more and more of your slick coats Eddies tongue, lips, and chin with the shockwaves that continue to hit you.

Eddie keeps eating you out through your prolonged orgasm, reveling in how much you’ve given him. Your legs drop open and the hands in his hair push him away from your aching cunt. He kisses his way up your stomach and chest before moving beside you.

You reach your hand towards Eddies clothed cock wanting to help satisfy him like he did you. Squeezing him through his boxers you sigh when you feel the wetness on his front. “You came?”

“Same time as you actually. I told you before that I can get off on just eating pussy,” he lets out a breathy laugh. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired.”

He smiles, “understandable. Bath or a shower?”

“Bath, I don’t think I can stand right now,” you laugh.

“Your wish is my command.”

Eddie removes himself from the bed and take off his soiled boxers on his way to his bathroom. You hear the water start running and a few minutes later hear it stop. Eddie comes back into the room, and picks you up bridal style out of bed. He walks you to the bathroom and sits you in the tub first before climbing in behind you.

Pulling you back into his chest you lay together in the tub in silence for a bit. Eddie’s hands run softly over your arms and stomach as he peppers kisses to the back of your neck and shoulders.

You’re the one to break the silence.

“Did you mean it?”

Eddie stopped his motions, “mean what?”

“What you said before I called red. About not wanting-,” you pause, nervous that it was said in the heat of the moment and not intentionally. “About not wanting anyone else to touch me?”

He’s silent for a bit, his hands finding a resting place on your stomach. “Is that something you want?”

“Eddie, please answer me,” you say, tears threatening to fall for the second time that night. “I can’t-I-”

“Hey hey hey, Y/N, Y/N don’t cry please, I’m sorry,” Eddie says frantically hands finding and squeezing yours under the bath water. “Yes, I meant it. I don’t want anyone else touching you like I do, I want you to myself.”

“Really?” You let out with a hiccup.

Eddie puts his hand under your chin to turn you around and face him. “Yes, Y/N. I’ve wanted to say that for months now. I just didn’t know how you would take it. If you would want it too.” His eyes search yours for an answer to his worry.

“Eddie,” you coo, leaning up to press a soft kiss to his lips. “Truth be told, I’ve had a crush on you for a while. I don’t think I could ever find anyone that touches me like you. I don’t want to find someone to touch me like you. I want you.” 

“You’re so perfect, how did I not realize I needed you sooner? How were you under my nose the whole time but it took a stupid idea from my horny brain to make me see that?”

He hugs you closer to him in the water and you sit together in the bath until your fingers and toes are get pruny. You get out and dry each other off and Eddie brings you a t-shirt to wear to bed. Your legs are still weak and wobbly, so he picks you up and places you in bed. Eddie crawls in beside you in just boxers and you fall asleep in his arms, happy.

[evansbby]

Does anyone have any cool sexy dilf stories? Like stories that you wouldn’t mind sharing of y’all with dilfs?? Idk I feel like I need to live vicariously through you guys jajsjsjs —

Okay so I know you posted this last week but I have to tell someone 💀

So since the beginning of uni I’ve had a crush on my chemistry professor, and let me tell you that the first day I had his class all I did was fantasize about him😭😭

This man is 6’4 (I’m 5’3🤭) so the height difference is so hot. He’s 35 (I just turned 20), he’s half Mexican half Colombian (he curses in Spanish when he drops something or is just mad and it’s the hottest thing ever). He has brown eyes and his hair is like Ari’s hair (all i can think about is how hot it would be to rake my nails through his hair while he’s eating me out). Also he’s so fucking buff holy shit, like his biceps are the size of my head and every time he wears a tight shirt/blouse it literally makes me want to do unspeakable things. For reference he kinda looks like Miguel O’hara (idk if you watched Spiderman into the Spiderverse but that man is hot as hell), but he has fuller lips. He also has a beard which also kind of the same to Ari’s beard.

So here’s where the actual story begins😭😭. He has a daughter who’s 8 years old - btw he’s not married and her mom isn’t in her life, I don’t know why - so my cousin who’s also 8 years old happens to be in the same class as her and they’re literally best friends. I didn’t know at first that her dad was my professor (and the guy I dream about) until my aunt asked me to pick my cousin up from school and I see him talking to his daughter and my cousin. When I tell you I almost melted because he was so sweet with them😭😭😭 When they saw me walking towards them he was also surprised to see me, but then he smiled and made small talk 😫

Next day when I see him in class, he asks me to stay behind and when I tell you I almost fainted. I’ll type out the interaction because it’ll be too confusing.

Professor: “Hey, so I didn’t know you were related to (cousins name)”

Me: “Yeah, her moms my moms sister so different last names haha”

Professor: “So, I wanted to ask if it’s okay for her to come over next week? I tried to catch your aunt and ask but she’s always there earlier than me, (daughters name) and (cousins name) wanted to watch a movie and just play.”

Me: “Oh yeah, I’ll ask my aunt. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind (cousins name) talks about her a lot.”

Professor: “Yeah those two are really close.”

Me: “But sure I’ll ask my aunt and get back to you tomorrow.”

Professor: “Thank you it’ll mean a lot to them.”

So after this we just quickly said goodbye and when I walked out the classroom I almost threw up he made me that nervous😭😭 It’s the way he was standing as well, he was standing and kind of half sitting half leaning on his desk and his blouse that day was a white so I kinda saw abs (slut) 😫😫😫 honestly feels like something out of a movie😭

Anyway so I came home and I was going to my aunts house anyway for dinner with the whole family (I’m Moroccan so these kind of big dinners are almost every week💀). So when I’m there I ask her and she first was kind of iffy about it because she doesn’t want to send her 8 year old to a random mans house (her words, not mine😂) even though she knows his daughter. And then my other cousin who’s my age and knows about my crush on him, jokingly said “maybe she should go with her, he’s her professor so she already knows him”. I swear to god I wanted to strangle her right there and then because my aunt thought it was the best idea ever and now she wants me to go with her.

I feel like this is getting really long so I’ll try summarize what happened afterwards😭. So the next day I don’t have chemistry so after I was done with all my classes I walk over to his classroom. This man was just sitting there drinking coffee and working and I thought (still think) it was the hottest thing ever. When he sees me walk in he smiles at me and greets me. I greet him as well and tell him what my aunt said.

Me: “Maybe a bit weird but my aunt wanted me to come with (cousins name) to keep an eye on her you know? If that’s okay with you of course.”

Professor: “Yeah no that’s fine don’t worry about it, besides it’ll be nice to have someone there to keep me company.”

WHEN HE SAID THIS I SWEAR TO GOD HE SMIRKED/SMILED AT ME I CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP😭😭😭.

Anyway I gave him my aunts number so they can arrange it and then we said goodbye and stuff and I left. My hands were shaking when I was walking out of the classroom, he makes me that nervous😭 My aunt called me Sunday morning telling me that the playdate is next week. Either he or my uncle is gonna bring us.

I normally have his class on Monday but he wasn’t there, I think he had an appointment or something😔 But I do have his class today so lets pray he’s there🤞🏼🤞🏼

I’m sorry if this was really long but I honestly feel like this is too good to be true, and when I saw your post about any dilf stories I immediately thought about him. I also wanted to tell someone who won’t judge me and I honestly love your vibe so I hope you won’t think I’m weird or something 😭. I also need advice because what the hell do i do?!?! I have such a big crush on him, besides the looks he’s so sweet but also so serious and bossy (idk what to call it but it’s hot😫😫).

I’ll keep you updated if you want if anything else happens🥴🥴🥴

- 💐💐

Oh my god bestie I am so intrigued but at the same time you are twenty years old and that is a BABY to me practically so idk idk idk what to say!!!! Pls just be sensible about this… men love to take advantage of younger girls and I know you don’t want to hear this 😭😭😭 but I feel like I have to say it otherwise I’d be being fake 🥲🥲

Of course, you’re entitled to do whatever you please! And honestly HONESTLY this professor seems into you but the fact that he’s a professor and you’re his student is a red flag??? Right??? Like… you’re his student 😭😭😭 on top of that he is a lot older than you so please be careful!!!

Apart from that why does this sound like such a picture perfect fanfic scenario?? Like lmfao wow I didn’t realise y’all were out here literally being real life Y/Ns meanwhile all my professors have been ugly and lame 😂😂😂