#idk why but i gotta be on my best behaviour-

[saltdrinker]

LORD SAVE ME FROM THE GAZE OF THIS BEAUTIFUL M A N🫣

Falling down the stairs on purpose just to see this man

[urmum-lovesme]

Angel Baby - Rafe Cameron x Kook!reader P7

pairing: Best Friend!Rafe Cameron x Kook!Best-Friend!reader

summary: Rafe and Reader have known each other since kindergarten, always side by side, the king and princess of Figure 8. So why now does he start feeling different towards her, when all she's ever been is his best friend?

a/n: MERRY CHRISTMAS MY SEXYS!!!!!!! For the holidays thought I'd ramp things up, Let's see, Y/n's a bit of a diva in this tbh, she's a little cheeky, get it ig she's just a girl after all. Midsummer's is well underway, little feature from the gangs group chat and y/n and rafe? well cue careless whisper and shut your eyes *wink wink nudge nudge*. I've never actually written smut before so cut me some slack but it's lowkey inspired by Chappell's 'Picture You' iygwim... Love you all so so so much, enjoy and have a great holiday!!!!!!!!!!

warnings: nsfw! smut, self pleasure (rafe), kinda pervy rafe? (idk idk don't shoot me) dismissive mother figure (y/n lowkey got mommy issues ngl), drugs, smoking, alcohol, driving under the influence, suggestive behaviour (y/n).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Midsummers was lingering around the corner, Y/n pacing at her front door anxiously as she waited for the courier, peering out the window by the door in hopes of sighting the van pulling up by the gates. If he didn’t show up in the next five minutes she was going to have a meltdown. Her phone ringing loudly made her jump, she looked down to the device vibrating on the counter as she picked it up the name ‘Rafey’ shining up at her,

“Hey Princess”

Rafe was sat in his room, lounging back on his bed, mindlessly staring up at the ceiling fan which was revolving in slow turns. It was Midsummers today, and he was feeling antsy, knowing he needed to get a gift for the girl, he wanted to get her the best gift possible, their little tradition starting when he got her a small bouquet of flowers a few years ago, he liked to say that it was her early birthday present, but it was truly just an excuse for him to get her something. Of course this year it had to be better, after the night a few days ago, after his.. realisation that the girl was more than just a ‘best-friend’, he knew the evening was his chance to talk to her.

If that's what you wanna call it then-

Y/n pressed the phone to her ear, her voice slightly breathless as she answered, “Hey, what’s up?”

“Where are you?” Rafe’s voice rang out over the phone, straight to the point as usual.

“At home. Waiting for the courier.” She started pacing again, one hand holding the phone, the other tugging nervously at the hem of her shirt as she started to ramble. 

“They’re late, and if they don’t show up soon, I’m screwed. I need this dress or I’m literally not coming. I’m not coming Rafe -do you know how embarrassing it would be to wear the sam-“

“Relax,” Rafe said, his tone steady but with the faintest hint of amusement. “You’re gonna give yourself a heart attack.”

“I can’t relax!” she snapped, her frustration spilling over. “Do you know how much this means? If I don’t have it ready by tonight-”

“I know, I know,” he interrupted, the girl was prone to overthinking, his voice softening. “It's a big deal. You’ve been talking about it non-stop for the past two weeks but freaking out isn’t going to help.”

Y/n groaned, slumping against the wall near her door. “Easy for you to say. You’re not the one on the verge of public humiliation.”

There was a pause on the other end of the line, then he spoke again, quieter this time.

“What’s really going on..?”

She hesitated, her fingers tightening around the phone. She opened her mouth to respond, but the sound of a car pulling up outside made her stop. Her head whipped toward the window, and she exhaled in relief.

“Courier’s here,” she said quickly. “I gotta go.”

“Y/n—” Rafe started, but she hung up before he could finish.

Whoopsies

Fucking brat

She shoved the phone into her pocket and opened the door, stepping out onto the porch as the courier climbed out of their van. The man carried a medium-sized box toward her, looking apologetic.

“Sorry for the delay,” the courier said, handing it over.

“It’s fine, thank you.” Y/n muttered, clutching the package to her chest like it was a lifeline. She watched the courier leave before heading back inside, shutting the door behind her. Her phone buzzed again, and she pulled it out to see another call from Rafe. She sighed, debating whether to answer. Part of her wanted to ignore it and focus on the package, but the other part of her knew Rafe wouldn’t just let it go -he was probably going to scold her for hanging up.

“Hi, again-”

“-Don’t ‘hi’ me,”

Rafe shot back. “You hung up on me. What’s going on?”

The girl sat down on the couch, setting the box beside her. She took a deep breath. “It’s just… a lot, okay? Everything has to be perfect tomorrow, and mom’s been on my back about it and I’m scared I’ll mess it up.” She trailed off, biting her lip.

“Right” Rafe spoke out, though she could already hear the knowing tone creeping into his voice.

“Shut up,” she mumbled, though her cheeks were already burning, she felt embarrassed she was so bothered,

Always overthinking

Just a dumb party

“Listen,” Rafe said, his tone turning serious again. “You’ve been stressing yourself out, I get it—you want to impress everyone.”

She didn’t answer, but the silence spoke volume.

“Y/n, you’re already... pretty amazing,” he continued. “You don’t need some big, grand gesture to prove that.” His words caught her off guard, and for a moment, she didn’t know how to respond. Finally, she whispered, 

“Thanks, Rafe.”

“Anytime,” he said lightly. “Now go open that box and finish whatever masterpiece you’re working on. And stop overthinking.”

“Okay, okay,” she said, a small smile creeping onto her face. “Talk later?”

“Always,” he replied before hanging up. Y/n set the phone down, staring at the box beside her. Rafe’s words lingered in her mind as she reached for it opening it, fingers sliding over the soft silky material. 

You better look good bitch

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The girl sat at her vanity, dabbing a final touch of highlighter onto her cheekbones, as her hands moved down to tighten the belt around her waist of the fuzzy robe she had on. The soft music filled the background as she admired the dress hanging nearby, waiting to be put on. She picked up her phone, her fingers tapped against the screen, nails causing little clicks to rise into the air of the room, mixing in with the soft sound of the music playing in the background. She typed to the group chat,

Princess. :  Lowkey might be late … 

She hesitated for a moment, then hit send, her phone buzzed almost immediately.

Young Rich & Sexy (1 unread message)

Rafey  :  u got ur whole life planned out to the minute tf u mean ur late 

Princess  :  Fashionably ofc 

Kels :  Why are you such a 

Kelc  :  Wait what is it she says 

T-man : Diva 

Kels  :  Yeah 

Kels  :  Why are you being a diva 

Princess  :  You guys are so dramatic. I’m just finishing up, okay?

T-man  :  Nah

Rafey  :  “finishing up” means ur still running around in a robe and slippers

Princess  :  It’s nothing!!!

Princess  :  Just running a little behind

Rafey  :  Oh, so you’re spiralling

T-man :  Got it

Kels  : How many outfit changes are we at? Three? Four?

T-man  :  Five Minimum

Princess  :  I hate all of you

Rafey  :  Big words. 

Rafey  :  Are you actually leaving, though?

Kels  :  Yeah, just get here before Rafe starts flirting with himself in the mirror

Rafey  :  Shut up

Rafey :  At least I don’t take an hour deciding on a bowtie like you

Kels  : ...

Kels  :  Fuck you 

T-man  :  Y/n, this is what happens when you’re not around to keep us in line

Princess  :  Are you guys drinking already? 

Rafe  :  Yes 

Kels  :  No 

T-man  :  Yes 

Kels  :  Oh 

Kels  :  Yes? 

Kels  :  BAHAHAHAH

Princess  : You’re all hopeless 

She grabbed her clutch and slipped her phone into it, giving herself one final once-over in the mirror before heading out the door of her bedroom to meet her parents downstairs. The group chat continued buzzing, but she ignored it, feet padding down the stairs to slip on her heels.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The driver eased the car to a smooth stop in front of the country club, a line of luxury cars wound behind them, each filled with kooks dressed to the nines, ready to celebrate… what was it again? 

Something about tradition, about status-  

She stepped out of the car, the setting sun warm against her skin as she adjusted her dress. She followed closely behind her parents, her father offering a polite nod to the valet while her mother stepped forward, her sharp eyes scanning the scene. Before the girl could take another step toward the entrance, her mother’s hand landed lightly on her arm, stopping her in her tracks. Y/N turned, surprised by the tight grip and the serious expression etched on her mother’s face.

“Wait,” Marie said in a hushed tone, her voice low but firm enough to cut through the murmurs of the other guests near the entrance. She straightened, smoothing an invisible crease on her dress before turning her full attention to her daughter. Y/N raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

Her mother’s lips pressed into a thin line. “I want to remind you to be on your best behaviour tonight.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “I’m always on my best behaviour.”

“Don’t be clever,” her mother snapped quietly, her tone just sharp enough to sting. “This isn’t just some casual get-together. It’s important. People are watching, Y/N. People who matter.” She emphasised to the girl.

Classic

“Watching for what, exactly?” Y/N shot back, her voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“To see if I chew with my mouth closed or if I trip on my heels?”

Her mother’s jaw tightened. “To see if you’re worthy of standing in this room. To see if you reflect the family we’ve worked hard to build. You think reputation doesn’t matter, but it does. It matters more than you realise.”

Y/N crossed her arms, her posture defiant. “Right, because it’s all about what they think, isn’t it?”

“Yes,” her mother said sharply, her eyes narrowing.

“You don’t have to like it, but you will respect it. Your father and I have done everything to ensure we’re respected. I won’t have you undo it with some thoughtless remark or petty argument.”

Y/N clenched her jaw, biting back the words bubbling on her tongue. She hated these conversations- hated being reminded that she wasn’t just herself but an extension of her family’s carefully constructed image. Her mother’s gaze softened slightly, but her voice remained steady. 

“This isn’t just about us, Y/N. One day, it will matter for you, too. You’ll see that eventually.”

Before Y/N could respond, her father’s voice cut through the tension. “Are we going in, or are we standing out here all night hmm?” The man could never notice the tension between the two women, he only saw his caring wife and sweet daughter. He leant down pressing a kiss to his wife’s cheek before wrapping his hand around Y/n’s waist pulling her towards him holding both women closely, “my girls.” 

Her mother straightened, her composure snapping back, she gave Y/N a once-over, her expression unreadable, before turning toward the entrance taking her husbands hand and walking with him. The man turned his head back shortly, sending a wink in the girls direction, her fathers action brought a small smile to her face. With a deep breath, she pushed her frustration from her mother comments aside and followed her parents into the club, the sound of clinking glasses and polite laughter greeting them as the door swung open.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The scent of champagne and roses hung heavy in the air as Y/N stepped further inside, clutching the stem of a freshly poured flute. She felt the weight of eyes on her as she moved through the room, the navy fabric skimmed her body, hugging her waist before cascading to the floor in soft ripples. It was all so curated, so polished, but Y/N barely registered the scene. Not until her eyes landed on Rafe. He was standing near the bar, leaning casually against the counter, a glass of whiskey in his hand. His sharp jawline caught the light as he turned slightly, his shoulders broad under the perfectly tailored suit jacket he wore. 

As if sensing her gaze, he looked up. Their eyes met for a split second, his brow raising slightly as a smirk tugged at the corner of his lips.

His grip on the glass tightened as he straightened subtly, his attention narrowing entirely on Y/N as she entered the room. She was impossible to miss, even in the crowd. The navy satin of her dress shimmered under the light. His eyes trailed upward, catching on the delicate V of the neckline that framed her collarbones, which glowed faintly with a soft sheen. Her hair, threaded with tiny white flowers, was swept back to reveal the curve of her neck. She looked…

Wow

His throat felt dry.

Rafe’s gaze followed her as she moved toward the bar, her posture poised but relaxed, her fingers curling around a champagne flute. As she made her way towards the boy, she noticed Topper and Kelce standing behind him, eyeing up a group of girls giggling by the tables.

“Surpriseeee.”

She sang out as she did a little spin in front of the boy, the silk swaying with her. “Only,” she looks over to the clock on the wall, “15 minutes late.”

His eyes ran down over her body as her movement, a little smirk on his face before he chuckled at her comment,

“15 minutes? Might as well have not showed” He teased her as he tilted his head, looking down at her once again.

“Asshole.” She mutters out shoving his shoulder slightly before she looked over at him. 

Damn

“You look good,” she spoke genuinely, her hand coming out to smooth down the blazer she’d shifted as she pushed him, she spoke playfully,

“handsome.”

He watched her as she smoothed the non-existent wrinkles in his blazer, his heart faltering at her compliment.

Handsome huh?

“You look….you look beautiful Y/n” He spoke out quietly, leaning in a little closer to her, his eyes roaming over her face.

A pink hue lifted to her cheeks at his words as her hand trailed down from his chest where she’d smoothed the blazer out, down his arm, to his hand, where her fingers brushed against his, a warm feeling settled in his stomach as her fingers danced over his hand.

“Thanks.” She spoke out quietly. Their moment was interrupted by the sound of a wolf whistle, Topper and Kelce stumbling over towards them as they looked Y/n. 

“Kook Princess does it again!”

“Looking good.”

Kelce and Topper speak out to her, both stepping forward, one placing a kiss on her cheek as the other wraps his arms around her in a hug.

“You look like you just stepped out of a magazine. Like, one of those fancy ones with the shiny covers.” Kelce started to babble, Topper following soon after, 

“Like the ones you collect what are they cal-“

“Vogue?” The girl asked amused smile on her face at their antics.

“Fuck yeah you look fresh out of Vogue.” Kelce spoke with a shake of his head.

Never heard that one before

“You two always know how to make a girl feel special.” She shot them a playful wink of her own, clearly unbothered by their banter.

“Well I’d hope all those hours of getting ready weren't for nothing.”

She speaks as she looks over to the group of girls huddling together, a hushed giggle breaking out as Topper and Kelce turn around to look at them, one of the girls lifting her hand and wiggling her fingers in a small wave. She spoke to the two boys as Rafe watched, leaning back against the bar counter,

“But you guys clean up well, heard you’ve been turning heads tonight..” 

“More like giving head..” 

The girls eyes widen as she lets out a loud laugh hand coming up to cover her mouth. 

“Are you being for real?” She whispers out in a hush as the boy next to her shrugs his shoulder in a nonchalant manner a smirk rising to his face, she pushes Kelce away from her, his hand dropping from her waist, 

“Ew you freak” she giggled as she shakes her head. 

The boys rambled to each other defensively as she shook her head rolling her eyes at them turning back to Rafe. Y/N reached up absentmindedly to adjust her necklace, a habit she couldn’t seem to shake, only to freeze when her fingers brushed against bare skin. Her brow furrowed as she searched for the familiar chain, but it wasn’t there. 

Shit

“I forgot my necklace.” She spoke out frown on her face.

Rafe, who had been watching her from the corner of his eye, leaned in with a teasing smile, the missing chain on her neck was one of the first thing’s he’d noticed when she’d gotten closer to him. 

"You wear it everyday? How’d you forget it tonight"

"I don’t know. I just got distracted.” She shrugged as hint of disappointment in her tone.

Rafe’s smile softened, and he raised an eyebrow. 

Perfect 

“Come on, I’ve got something to show you.”

“What is it?”

Y/N glanced up at him, surprised her head tilting slightly.

He flashed her a grin “C'mon," he said, gently taking her hand. 

"Follow me."

The girl slipped her hand into the crook of his arm which he held out for her as he led her away from the main group, stepping out from under the harsh lights and into the quieter side of the party, where the music felt distant and the crowd’s chatter muffled. She followed him curiously, the sound of her heels tapping against the floor drowned out by the thrum of the distant bass. When they reached a secluded corner, Rafe pulled away from her and slipped his hand into the inside pocket of his blazer. Y/N raised an eyebrow, her interest piqued. 

“Here.”

He pulled out a small, velvet blue box, holding it out to her.

“It’s your Midsummer’s present."

Y/N blinked, taken aback. "What?" She hadn't been expecting anything, especially not tonight.

What-

Rafe’s smile was genuine, one that didn’t appear often.

“Our tradition? We’ve been doing this for years, -yeah well I have I guess"

Y/N’s heart fluttered in her chest. A small gift- something thoughtful, not extravagant, but always meaningful. And somehow, she’d forgotten about it this year, she’d been so fussed with her dress and her mother, the boy being occupied with his family's business, she didn’t think Rafe would bother this year.

Her fingers brushed over the soft velvet as she took the box from him, her heart skipping a beat as she opened it. Inside lay a dainty, golden necklace, delicate but elegant, with a tiny heart-shaped pendant hanging from it. The pendant was engraved with their initials-

Y/N . R  

Y/N’s breath caught in her throat as she stared at it for a moment, a soft smile tugging at her lips. The necklace was beautiful, but what really moved her was the thought behind it. It was a symbol of their years of friendship, of the connection they shared that went beyond just tradition.

"Rafe… this is…" She looked up at him, her voice soft with gratitude. “It’s perfect.”

“Yeah? You like it”

"I love it Rafe seriously.”

Y/N held the small velvet box in her hands, her fingers still lingering over the necklace inside. Rafe stood in front of her, a soft smile on his lips, watching her with a quiet intensity that made her heart race. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting, but something about the way he was looking at her made the whole moment feel different—more meaningful than it was in the past years when he’d given her presents.

He smiled, his gaze tender. “I’m glad you like it.”

She nodded, the gesture simple but meaningful. She felt a lump form in her throat, a surge of warmth filling her chest. “Thank you.” She closed the box and stepped forward, pulling him into a tight hug. “Really. I love it.” Rafe returned the hug, his hands resting gently on her back. When she pulled away, he held her at arm's length, a playful glint in his eyes. 

“Want me to put it on for you?”

Y/N laughed softly, feeling a mix of warmth and comfort from his presence. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

Without breaking eye contact, Rafe gently took the necklace from the box, the soft gold chain catching the light as he held it in his hands. His movements were slow, deliberate, as though he was savouring every moment. He stepped a little closer, and Y/N’s breath hitched, her heart fluttering in her chest. She felt his warmth before she even saw him move, the proximity suddenly making the air around them feel heavier, charged with something unspoken. His hands were steady, sure, but there was a tenderness to them as they reached out, the chain dangling between his fingers.

Rafe’s fingers gently grazed the back of her neck as he moved to place the necklace around her, his touch barely there but still enough to send a shiver down her spine. She held her breath for a moment, feeling the heat of his skin against hers, the soft brush of his fingertips making her skin tingle.

There was something so simple, so intimate about it.

"Hold still," he murmured, barely audible.

She felt the coolness of the chain against her skin, and then, the soft click of the clasp as he fastened it around her neck.

“There,” he said, his voice low but warm. “Perfect.”

When he stepped back, his gaze never leaving hers, Y/N’s heart was still pounding in her chest. She touched the pendant, feeling the cool gold between her fingers, but her mind was still caught on the feel of his touch.

“You look beautiful,” he said quietly, his voice almost a whisper.

“Rafe,” she said, her voice thick with emotion she hadn’t expected to feel. 

“This… this means so much.”

"I’m happy," he began, his voice lower than usual, as he fidgeted with the cuff of his blazer. 

"I didn’t know what to get you this year, so-“

“You didn’t need to get me anything.’

“-I wanted to.”

He swallowed hard, trying to gather his thoughts. He hesitated as he looked at her, the necklace catching the light, glimmering as it rested against her skin. His bowtie suddenly felt awfully tight his tongue darted out to wet his dry lips, his breath feeling short. His shaky hand raised to his neck, finger shoving between his shirt and neck to loosen the material. Standing there right in front of him, he couldn't look away from her. His gaze lingered on her, a mix of admiration and something deeper—something he had been fighting to ignore for a long time. His heart was thudding so harshly against his chest he felt like he was going to pass out, he stepped just a little closer, his breath catching in his throat. 

Say it now

He needed to.

“Y/N,” he started again, his voice quieter, but no less intense, he hesitated, his pulse racing as his eyes met hers. 

"I lo—"

“Y/N!” 

He jerked his head up, the words dying on his lips as he looked toward the source of the loud voice.

Wheezie yelled out as she pranced over to the girl happily wide smile on her face, Y/n’s head turned to look to her arms reaching out to catch the younger girl who’d bounded straight into her arms.

Fuck 

Y/N’s expression softened immediately, and before she could even say a word, Wheezie was already wrapping her arms around Y/N’s waist, pulling her into a tight hug. Y/N let out a strained laugh and returned the hug. 

Any time but now...

“Y/N!” Wheezie squealed, her voice full of excitement. “I missed you so much! I haven't seen you in like forever!”

Rafe stood there, frozen, watching them. His heart thudded heavily in his chest, the weight of the moment hanging thick in the air between them. His confession- his almost confession- had been so close.

So close, in fact, that it almost felt like it was still hanging there, unspoken. 

Y/N smiled down at Wheezie, her arms around her tightly. "I know, I’ve missed you too, Wheezie," she said warmly. 

"Things have been a little busy lately,” her eyes glanced over to Rafe as she spoke out. The boy cleared his throat, trying to shake off the tension, obvious to his sister. His eyes flicked from Wheezie back to Y/N, the opportunity was gone now. 

The words he had almost said to her- words that had been building in him for weeks, months even- seemed to slip away, lost in the noise of the party around them.

He gave a tight smile, feeling a mixture of frustration and amusement. "Yeah," he said, trying to sound casual, even though his voice felt heavier than usual. 

"Real busy."

Y/N, sensing the shift in the air, gave him a small but reassuring smile. She knew him too well, probably more than anyone else did. Wheezie ignored their silent interaction, eyes wide with excitement. 

“You will not believe what I just found out!” She looked back and forth between them.

Rafe groaned at his sister.

Fucks sake

“Wheezie, not now…”

“You know Audrey and Max? They’re hooking up! For real!” She threw her hands up dramatically, as if she announced the discovery of the century. 

“I heard them talking at the bar. They think they’re being all secretive, but—hello?!

Y/N’s brows furrowed slightly as she processed the gossip, but she couldn’t help but laugh. “Wait, seriously?”

“I was like, what? Audrey and Max? So sneaky!” Wheezie shook her head. The younger girl smiled smugly, then turned her attention to Rafe, who was standing there, still trying to regain his bearings. She raised an eyebrow, noticing the odd tension hanging in the air. 

“What’s going on here?” she asked with a sly grin.

“Are you two like, having a moment?”

Rafe blinked, caught off guard by her sudden shift in focus. His heart was still racing and now, his younger sister was teasing him about it. He forced a smile, shaking his head slightly. 

“No, just… catching up,” he said, his voice a little more strained than usual.

Wheezie raised an eyebrow, her playful expression shifting to something more teasing, glancing back and forth between them. She squinted at them, clearly working out what she thought was going on. 

“Are you guys fuc-” 

Y/N’s eyes widened in surprise, her cheeks flushing slightly, 

Uh-

“What!? No, we’re just…” She stumbled over her words, clearly trying to keep things casual. 

“Wheezie, don’t be ridiculous.” Rafe spoke out to the girl in a disapproving tone.

Really not helping here.

Wheezie just raised her eyebrows, clearly unconvinced. “Uh-huh, sure, sure. But just so you know, I’m, like, really good at reading people.”

Y/n laughed awkwardly as she looked over at the girl, “right well-” 

Wheezie suddenly grabbed the girl by the arm and began tugging her away toward the drink table. “Come on, let’s get a drink. I need to fill you in on the drama.”

Y/N, looking apologetic, glanced back over her shoulder. “Sorry,” she called, offering him a small smile. 

“It’s fine,” Rafe quickly replied, forcing a smile, even though a part of him was disappointed as he watched his sister drag the girl away, the navy fabric sewing around her legs as she got lost in the crowd of brightly coloured dresses.

It’s not fine. 

He had almost said it- almost told her how he felt, how much she meant to him. But now, the chance had passed, and the more he thought about it, the more he felt like he’d missed it. That perfect moment was gone, stolen by Wheezie’s innocent oblivion. He sighed, shaking his head, trying to push the frustration aside. He had another chance, right? He just needed to be patient. The music continued to thump in the background, and the party went on, but Rafe couldn’t shake the feeling that the one thing he wanted most had just slipped through his fingers.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rafe lingered by the edge of the party, his gaze fixed on Y/N as she laughed and talked with Wheezie,

“You okay, man?”

Rafe was startled out of his thoughts by the voice of Topper, who had appeared beside him, a beer bottle in hand. Topper's eyes were trained on the boy's expression, clearly picking up on the tension. Rafe swallowed hard, forcing a smile.

"Yeah, yeah. Just... tired,"

he said, but even to his own ears, it sounded hollow. He cleared his throat, wanting to change the subject before Topper could press. He glanced over at the group of girls, including Y/N, who was chatting with the boys sister.

“You’ve been kind of quiet all night.”

Rafe shifted on his feet, feeling the weight of Topper’s observation. "I'm fine," he said quickly, brushing it off again. But this time, it wasn’t as convincing.

“Okay, man,” Topper said with a skeptical smile. “If you say so.” He took a long swig of his beer, then added, more casually,

“Y/n liked her necklace?”

Rafe’s breath caught, and he nodded stiffly.

“Yeah, why?”

Topper shrugged, seemingly nonchalant, but Rafe could tell he was watching him closely. The boy let out a sharp laugh, but there was no humour behind it.

Seriously?

“What's the problem.”

Topper just grinned, his tone dropping to something a little more playful but still serious. “Look Rafe, I don’t know what’s going on between you two, but you should just… say something.”

Rafe’s chest tightened at the words, like a weight had just settled on his ribs.

“What’re you talking bout Top-”

“Come on.”

Topper leaned against the nearby wall, clearly in no rush. “I’ve known you long enough to know when you're into someone. And I know how much you care about her. But don’t wait until she’s looking at someone else..”

The boys eyes drifted over to Y/n, who was now talking to Cooper, a smile on her face as she pushed her hair over her shoulder, laughing at what the boy was saying. Her hands reached out fixing his slightly bent tie, before the boy pulled her towards the floor where couples were dancing, he spun her clumsily to which she shook her head at him happily, her hands now resting on her shoulders.

“You think it’s that easy?” Rafe muttered, as his hand rubbed over his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The lights strung up around the club now flickered softly, casting a warm, inviting glow over the crowd. Y/N, with her head tilted back in laughter, let out a genuine chuckle as Topper dramatically reenacted a conversation from earlier in the night, his exaggerated gestures making everyone laugh even harder. Kelce was leaning against the bar, his smile wide, eyes gleaming as he added his own commentary. The girl brought her hand up wiping away at the tear in her eye, maybe she had one too many of those champagne flutes that were being walked around. A warm buzz started in her chest and radiated outward, making everything feel just a little giddier. She glanced around, half-focused on the conversation unfolding before her, the words blending together in a pleasant, almost melodic hum.

Her gaze wandered for a moment, eyes catching on Rafe. The way his smile lit up on his face, the way he looked at her, even from across the room, made her chest flutter, but in a way that felt hazy. Maybe it was the alcohol. 

Maybe it’s him?

 She wasn’t sure. But everything seemed just a little more intense, despite the slight fuzziness clouding her thoughts.

A grin tugged at Kelce's lips, and he straightened up, pulling a blunt from his blazer pocket with an almost practiced ease. He held it up casually, letting the group see it, a playful smirk dancing on his face. 

“How about a little fresh air, some space to breathe?”

His gaze lingered on Y/N for a moment, a knowing smile tugging at the corners of his mouth,

“I’m feeling like the beach is calling my name.”

Rafe, still nursing his drink, glanced at the others, his gaze drifting back to Y/N, a bit of quiet time away from the buzz of the club felt like a good idea. He met Kelce’s eyes for a second before shrugging. 

“Couldn’t hurt,” he said. Kelce, sensing he was starting to win the group over, gave a knowing nod and flicked the blunt again. 

“Exactly. So, what do you say? Beach, fresh air, good company—

“I’m down” Cooper spoke out as he stood up from his seat, Topper nodding along in agreement. Y/N hesitated for a second, but the thought of the beach, the quiet, cool night air felt tempting. She finally nodded, her lips curving into a small smile. 

“Why not?”

She glanced at the group, who were already starting to make their way toward the door, then back at her mom. She wasn’t sure how long they'd be gone, and she didn’t want to leave her mom completely unaware of her whereabouts. The girl took a deep breath and made her way back to the bar, where her mother was still chatting away with a few friends, her laughter ringing out louder than it should have.

"Hey, Mom," Y/N said, leaning in close, tapping her lightly on the shoulder.

Her mother turned toward her, blinking as if surprised to see her daughter standing there. A wide grin spread across her face, and she let out a small giggle. “Oh! Hi sweet girl," she slurred lightly, “You havin’ fun?”

Y/N smiled, already feeling that familiar warmth spreading through her at her mother’s carefree attitude. 

“Yeah, gonna head to the beach with the others... get some fresh air.”

Her mom squinted at her for a moment, still a little disoriented but clearly not at all concerned. She waved her hand dismissively, 

“Oh honey, that’s fine, go, go... fresh air is good. Go. Have fun." She paused before pulling her daughter into a quick, tight hug. Y/N squeezed her mom back, her heart a little lighter. 

“I will. Love you,” she said, stepping back. Her mom waved her off with a lazy grin, already turning back to her conversation. 

"Love you too, baby!"

Her heart clenched slightly, her mother was only ever that way when she was drunk, and she wished it was more often that she got to see her like that. The drunken version of her mom- full of giggles, playfulness and affection- was a rare sight, one that always disappeared by morning. Y/N turned and walked back toward the group, as much as she loved her mom, as much as she appreciated everything she did, there was always a part of her that wished she could hold onto this lighter version of her just a little longer, that maybe one day she could see it without the help of alcohol or the haze of exhaustion. She turned back toward the door, catching up with the group stepping outside.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She walked a little further toward the back of the club, the sound of her footsteps soft against the path leading to the beach. Her eyes caught sight of the others already moving down the sandy shore, their figures distant in the night, laughing, talking, stumbling around, but someone was waiting for her by the edge of the club’s back entrance. Rafe leaned casually against the brick wall,

“You makin me wait, huh?” 

Rafe teased lightly, raising an eyebrow as she stopped in front of him, the faintest hint of a smile tugging at his lips. The tensions of the early evening seemed to wash away, he couldn't tell if it was from the alcohol he’d drank over the night or if it was the girls presence, she seemed to put him at ease in a way. 

Y/N smiled, feeling a little self-conscious as she glanced at him. “I had to tell mom where I was going,” she said, a slight shrug. “You know how it is.” Rafe’s smile softened just a little, his eyes flickering over her. “Yeah, I get it.”

As they stepped away from the club, the noise and lights faded behind them, leaving just the quiet hum of the ocean and the soft rustle of the wind through the trees. The beach stretched out before them, waves lapping gently at the shore. Rafe was moving ahead of her, his stride confident, hands tucked into his pockets. He glanced over his shoulder, catching sight of her slowing down a little, her heels sinking into the sand with every step. He smirked, clearly noticing the struggle, but there was a softness in his eyes that made it seem more endearing than anything else. Y/N sighed, shifting her weight to one foot as she tried to pull her heel free from the stubborn sand. 

“Great” 

She muttered under her breath, her gaze on the ground as she wiggled her foot, trying to free herself from the sinking trap. The sand wasn’t ideal, shifting beneath her with every movement, and the heels she wore weren’t exactly beach-appropriate. Rafe took a few steps back toward her, his grin wide but his expression amused. 

“Need a hand, princess?” 

He teased, the nickname slipping from his lips, she rolled her eyes but couldn’t help the small smile tugging at her lips. 

"I’ve got it," 

She said, trying to sound determined, but the truth was, the more she tried to pull her foot free, the more stuck she seemed to get. Before Y/N could respond, or even protest, Rafe’s strong arms slipped around her waist. With one swift motion, he lifted her effortlessly, pulling her off the ground and into his arms in a bridal hold.

Y/N let out a surprised hum, her breath catching at the suddenness of it. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck to steady herself, her heart skipping a beat as the world shifted.

That was unexpected

“What—Rafe?” she exclaimed, voice catching with a mix of shock and something else she couldn’t quite identify. The surprise was quickly replaced with a strange sense of comfort, the boy shot her a teasing grin, his arms strong around her as he held her securely,

"You didn’t think I’d leave you stranded in the sand, did you?"

Y/N blinked up at him, still a little stunned. Her voice came out slightly breathless as she muttered, 

"You better not drop me."

His smirk deepened, and without missing a beat, he glanced down at her with that same playful gleam in his eyes. 

"Drop you?" 

He repeated, as though considering it. Then, just as Y/N was about to give him a skeptical look, he slackened his grip just slightly, as though he was going to drop her entirely. Y/N’s eyes widened. 

"Rafe!" 

She squealed, her hands instinctively tightening around his neck, pulling herself toward him. The sudden shift in weight had her clinging to him tighter, her heart skipping a beat as she could feel the way he was teasing her. 

Oh my fucking go-

"Don’t you dare!"

"Gotcha,"

he laughed, lifting her back up his grip firm again as he steadied her. Rafe’s grin only deepened as she clinged onto him.

"Yeah, well, you’ve got a death grip on me now," He teased, his lips almost brushing against her ear as he spoke. "Maybe next time, I’ll actually drop you.” Y/N rolled her eyes, but the smile on her face was undeniable. 

“I’ll remember that,” she said, but the words came out softer than she meant. As the others came into view, Kelce, Cooper, and Topper all gathered in a loose circle, passing something between them, Rafe slowed his pace.

"Alright, princess," he murmured with a small, amused smile, "this is where I put you down."

How about you don't?

Where did that come from-

Y/N, still nestled in his arms, raised an eyebrow. "Oh? You mean you’re done showing off?"

Rafe's grin softened just slightly,

"Something like that."

With a small chuckle, he gently lowered her feet to the sand, his hands lingering on her waist for just a moment longer than necessary, like he didn’t quite want to let go. Y/N felt a slight chill from being on her own two feet again, but the warmth from his touch lingered. Rafe’s gaze flicked up to the group as they passed the blunt around. Kelce was the first to wave them over with a grin. 

“Took you long enough, you guys finally fuck or what?” He said, his tone light and teasing, his eyes already hazy from whatever it was they'd been smoking.

“You wish,” Y/n spoke back as she flicked her middle finger up at him. She glanced at the blunt in Kelce’s hand, 

"Thanks for sharing,"

she said, her voice casual, though there was a slight challenge in her tone as she reached out for the blunt taking it from Kelce. Holding the blunt, she exhaled a soft laugh before bringing it to her lips. She took a slow drag eyes fluttering close, feeling the familiar, slightly heady warmth settle in her chest as she held the smoke in her lungs for a second before releasing it into the night air.

Kelce grinned, watching her. "That’s what I like to see," he said with a wink, before reaching for it again.

Y/N passed it off to him, the buzz from the first drag already making her feel a little lighter. She turned her attention to Rafe, who was watching her with a slightly amused, almost thoughtful expression. His gaze that lingered just a moment too long.

“See I can handle myself,” she teased, nudging him with her shoulder as she leaned back against the sand. 

"No need to carry me around like a princess all night."

Rafe chuckled, shaking his head, but there was something almost protective in his demeanour as he shifted closer, taking a seat next to her. 

"I’ll carry you whenever I feel like it," he said with a shrug, his grin returning. "Besides, I think you secretly liked it."

Y/N rolled her eyes and she gave him a small smile. 

“Maybe. But don’t get used to it.”

The night had stretched into a lazy, hazy blur, the joint passed around clouding any coherent thoughts. The group was lost in their high now, their conversation drifting like the smoke in the air. The beach was quiet, save for the soft sound of waves crashing against the shore, and the occasional laughter that spilled from one of them, the sound of the party behind them occasionally breaking the calmness. Y/n, thoroughly buzzed from the weed and the champagne, was nestled against Rafe, her body leaning into him seeking his warmth. He was resting on his elbows, his posture relaxed, his gaze shifting between the distant shore and the girl every now and then; the sea breeze tousled his hair slightly, but he didn’t seem to mind, his usual tension gone.

The girl, on the other hand, was practically vibrating with laughter. Everything seemed funny to her- Topper’s latest comment, the random thoughts floating through her mind, even the way the sand beneath her seemed to shift with every movement she made. Her giggles were light and contagious, Rafe’s eyes flickered down at her, the corners of his mouth curving into a small smile. 

Her fingers, wobbly, were fiddling with the buttons of his shirt, moving from one to the next as though they were the most fascinating things in the world. His shirt was loose, the fabric stretching slightly as she moved her fingers, Rafe felt a light tension coil in his chest. He couldn’t quite explain it, maybe it was the way her fingers traced his shirt, or the sound of her voice when she spoke.

He didn’t pull away, though. Instead, he let her keep fidgeting with his shirt, his focus shifting back and forth between her and the sound of Kelce and Topper laughing as they waded through the waves. They had made their way to the edge of the water to cool off, their carefree chatter and occasional splashes rising over the sound of the ocean.

Y/n shifted, her fingers brushing under one of the buttons on his shirt again, causing her hand to graze his skin. The brief contact made Rafe’s breath catch slightly, and his body went rigid for a split second, though he did his best to mask it.

So warm

“Stop fidgeting with my shirt,” he said lightly, though there was no edge to his tone, just a quiet humour in his voice. The girl looked up at him then, her lips curled into a, playful smile. 

“I can’t help it,” she replied, her voice teasing, her eyes twinkling with a mix of mischief and warmth. “I’m bored…” She whined. Rafe chuckled, his gaze flicking between her and the others in the distance before he let his eyes rest back on her. 

“Bored, huh?” he repeated, leaning just a little closer, the warmth of his body mixing with hers. 

“Maybe I could entertain you...”

There was a pause, a charged silence hanging between them. Rafe’s words were a playful invitation, but his tone had shifted ever so slightly, an underlying edge of something more subtle in between them. His gaze softened as he looked down at her, his eyes lingering on her lips for just a moment before snapping back to her eyes.

Y/n didn’t seem to notice the shift, her giggles still bubbling from her chest, softening as her breath caught, fingers pausing on his shirt, her hand resting lightly against his chest for a brief second.

“Maybe you should,” she said, her voice a little dreamy. 

Her heart was racing, thoughts a little jumbled from the joint she'd kept bringing back to her lips, she cursed herself for her lack of self restraint. She could still feel the heat of Rafe’s body beside hers, his arm brushing against hers as he shifted, his eyes never left hers, and the soft amusement in his gaze now mixed with something more intense, more uncertain.

Don't do it-

But what's the harm?

Her fingers trailed up to the top of his shirt, her eyes looking at the black bowtie done up under his neck, her finger looped around the material loosening slightly, watching as it falls around his neck. Her teeth bite at her bottom lip as she pops open his top button, trailing down to the next two opening up the material, his skin now exposed to the cool sea air, her breath hitched but she didn’t pull away. Instead, she leaned in just a little, her lips barely grazing the skin of his jaw. The move was slow, almost hesitant, but it was enough to make Rafe’s eyes narrow just slightly. He seemed to hold his breath for a moment, as if he was waiting for her to make the next move.

His hand, without thinking, shifted a little closer to her. His fingers brushed lightly against her side, a soft touch that sent a jolt through her. As she pulled away from his jaw slightly, her breath shallow, Rafe could see the flush spreading across her cheeks. Her lips were slightly parted, her pupils dilated, the hint of glassiness in her eyes betraying the effects of the drug. The subtle tremor in her fingers as she rested them on his chest didn't go unnoticed, and neither did the way her gaze wavered—she was there, but not entirely there.

Rafe’s heart pounded in his chest as he watched her, the air between them thick with an electric tension. She seemed so close, so present- but at the same time, there was a layer of fog surrounding her that made him pause. The way she looked at him, her eyes soft but unfocused, her body language so open and trusting… it created an urge within him, something that made him want to pull her in. 

But the longer he looked at the girl, he came to terms with what was going on and his stomach tightened slightly. This wasn't right.

She's high you gotta stop 

It wasn’t that he didn’t want her, God, he wanted her more than he could put into words—but in that moment, he saw the vulnerability in her that he hadn't before. The haze in her eyes, the way she was almost floating in her own thoughts, disconnected from the world around her. He could see the haze in her expression, the slight confusion, the softness in her gaze that wasn’t entirely hers. She wasn’t fully present. She wasn’t fully aware of what was going on, not the way he needed her to be.

His hand hovered at her waist, but he didn’t pull her closer now. He couldn’t. He was aware- too aware of what this moment would mean if he crossed that line without her consciousness.

He wasn’t that guy. He never would be.

Her fingers brushed his chest again, but this time, he didn’t respond the way he normally would. His eyes took in the way she looked up at him, her breath still shallow, the lightness in her smile tugging at his heart.

He exhaled, fighting the urge to pull her in, his heart beating louder with every passing second. She deserved more than this, she deserved clarity, not confusion. He could already see the trust in her eyes, an unspoken invitation in the way she looked at him, but it wasn’t real- not in the way it should be.

“Y/N,” 

Rafe said quietly, his voice steady but with a hint of concern. He reached up, his hand brushing her hair away from her face as his thumb gently stroked her cheek. 

“Don’t think this is a good time princess” His words were soft, but they held a weight. She blinked slowly, her expression still dreamy, and for a moment, Rafe couldn’t tell if she’d even heard him. But her lips parted, her eyes narrowing slightly as if trying to focus.

“Why not Rafey,” she mumbled, words slower than usual, the lack of clarity in her voice made his chest at her vulnerability. 

So fucking stubborn

He could feel the tension building again, the desperate longing inside him clawing at his chest. He wanted to kiss her. He wanted to pull her into him and lose himself in her. But something inside him, a voice that was louder than his impulses, told him to stop. He was starting to realise why she only smoked when he was around, he didn’t want to imaginer like this, so innocent and trusting at a party by herself, surrounded by people she didn’t know. 

The thought made him nauseous.

He leaned back, his gaze holding hers, steady, but with an edge of hesitation.

“Not like this,” he said softly, almost to himself, but loud enough for her to hear. She tilted her head in confusion, her lips pursing as if trying to understand, but Rafe shook his head slightly. He could wait. He could wait until she was fully aware, he wouldn’t take advantage of her- he couldn’t- he'd never even think of it.

“Y/N, look at me,”

he whispered, reaching out gently to hold her face, his thumb grazing her soft skin. “I’m not going anywhere. But I’m not doing this with you like this.”

For a moment, there was only the sound of the waves and the distant laughter of the others in the background, and then, finally, she nodded, her expression soft, a slight pout tugging at her lips. She was still out of it, but she understood the sincerity in his voice, and it made something flutter in his chest.

With a sigh, Rafe pulled back just slightly, releasing his hold on her but keeping his gaze on her face, his heart still hammering in his chest. She didn’t say anything more instead she leaned into him ever so slightly, head resting on his shoulder, just enough to let him know she wasn’t pulling away, but she was still there, still trusting him.

And that was all he needed.

The boy took in a slow breath, then dropped his hand back to his side. He could feel the pull, the heat, the temptation to kiss her, but he resisted, allowing the silence to settle between them. 

She's won't remember any of this. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As Rafe pulled outside the girls house, the soft hum of the engine and Y/n’s occasional delayed mumble of the song lyrics playing were the only sound between them, the night air seemed thicker now, charged with something unspoken. The glow of the streetlights flickered over the girl's face, catching the soft curve of her jaw, the faint flush still lingering on her cheeks. He had barely said a word to her since the conversation on the beach, unsure of what to say, his mind still buzzing from the way things had shifted and he knew she hadn't noticed, too preoccupied in her own little world.

He's got a nice nose

You know what they say about big noses-

Girl shut the fuck up

The car slowed to a stop in front of her house, but neither of them moved immediately. He kept his hands firmly on the wheel, trying to calm the sudden pressure that had started to coil in his chest. Every little shift of her body, every soft breath she took, seemed emphasise in the silence between them. Y/N didn’t seem in any hurry to get out, her fingers fiddling with the slit of her dress as she looked out the window, exposing her thigh to the air of the car. She leaned just a little closer,

“Thanks for bringing me back,”

she said softly, her voice sweet and laced with a quiet giggle that clung to the walls of the car. He nodded, his throat tight, trying to keep his composure. 

“Of course. You okay?” 

He asked, though he noticed the way her fingers were now tracing the fabric of his seat, the way her gaze lingered on him a little too long. She turned to face him, her lips pulling into a playful, almost mischievous smile. 

“Yeah, I’m good,” she said, her voice insistent, as if she were trying to convince herself. She leaned toward him just slightly, her shoulder brushing against his arm as she shifted closer. Rafe felt the heat rising in his body, a surge of something he was desperately trying to control. She was still so touchy, so close. Her hand, which had been absentmindedly resting on her lap, now slid to his arm, her fingers lightly brushing his shirt, making his pulse hitch.

The light touch sent a spark through him, one that made him clench his jaw. He had to remind himself that she wasn’t fully in control of her actions, but it didn’t make it any easier. His muscles tensed as her fingers lingered for just a second too long on his forearm before slowly tracing up his sleeve. The soft caress sent an undeniable shiver through him, one that made it harder to concentrate.

He swallowed hard, his grip on the steering wheel tightening as her fingers trailed up to his shoulder, her palm resting against the side of his neck. It was too much—too much of her, too much softness in her touch, too much of the way she was looking at him like she wanted more. Her gaze, still slightly unfocused, held a curiosity, a gentleness that was intoxicating. She pushed herself slightly closer to him over the centre console, her dress dragging down slightly, the v-neck exposing her skin to him, the low cut revealing more of her chest than he was expecting.

"Rafe..." Her voice was barely a whisper now, like she was testing his name on her lips, her fingers now slowly sliding over the side of his neck, her touch sending goosebumps across his skin. His jaw locked, his teeth grinding together as he fought the growing desire inside him. 

“Y/N, stop,” he said through clenched teeth, his voice low and strained, but firm. He turned his head toward her, his gaze intense, trying to pull her back into reality. 

“Need to go home yeah? You’re not yourself right now.”

Don't wanna go home want you

She didn’t seem to hear him- or maybe she didn’t care, he couldn't tell. Her hand slid around to the back of his neck, her fingers brushing the nape of his hair, it almost made his resolve crumble. He forced himself to meet her gaze, but his heart was hammering in his chest, and he was so aware of the way her body was leaning closer, the heat radiating off her.

She smiled up at him, leaning in, her lips brushing against his neck in a soft, teasing kiss. “You’re so serious all the time,” she murmured, her breath warm against his skin.

“Why can’t you just relax?”

His whole body stiffened. His grip on the wheel tightened so much his knuckles went white. He tried to focus on anything but the way her lips lingered near his neck, the way her breath caressed his skin, how close she was.

“Y/N, you need to get out of the car,” he said, his voice strained, the words slipping out before he could stop them. 

“Go inside, I’m not going to do this with you, not when you’re not yourself.”

She pouted, her gaze flickering down to his lips and back up to his eyes. “You’re no fun...” she said with a playful giggle.

Rafe let out a long, slow breath, he didn’t want to hurt her feelings,

“C’mon princess” he said quietly, his tone more affectionate, yet still firm. 

“Go inside for me, yeah? You’re not thinking clearly.”

She didn’t resist. 

After a long beat, she finally pulled her hand away, glossy eyes looking at him as she pushed open the door. Before she stepped out, she turned back to look at him one last time, her smile still lingering but faint; she pushed herself back into the car and placed a soft kiss onto his cheek.

“Goodnight, Rafey.”

She whispered, her voice wavering and slightly off-balance. She wiggled her fingers at him in a wave before closing the door behind her, and Rafe watched as she staggered up to her front door, her steps a little less steady than usual. She fiddled with the doorhandle, and he debated whether he should get out and help her open the door. Somehow she managed to crack the door open, she turned back to him blowing him a kiss before closing the door behind her. 

Once she was inside, Rafe sat there for a moment, his jaw still clenched, trying to shake the weight of everything that had just happened. Her touch had been too much and as much as he had tried to keep his distance, it didn’t matter because his body was betraying him.

He shifted uncomfortably in the seat, feeling the tightness of his slacks against him, and he swore under his breath. The pressure between his legs was undeniable, a constant reminder of how wrong it all was.

She's high.

AND she's not herself. 

He dragged his hand through his hair again, frustration gnawing at him. He had to leave. But the thoughts came anyway- the image of her lips, the soft weight of her body against his, the way her smile made his chest tighten. He could feel the pressure building again, the ache in his body, and for a split second, he imagined what it would be like to pull her back into the car, to kiss her until she forgot everything except him. To hear her moan his name, to feel her hands on him the way they were on his neck...

Rafe’s breath hitched.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The boy's hands gripped the wheel tighter as he rolled into the driveway of Tannyhill, the tires crunching over the gravel as he parked the car in front of the empty house. The quiet of the night surrounded him, only the distant hum of a few streetlights and the rustling of leaves in the breeze breaking the stillness.

He sat in his car for a moment, head resting against the steering wheel eyes closed and jaw clenched tight as he tried to push away the memory and the feeling of her touch. He felt guilty, but he also couldn't shake the feeling of wanting more. His body was still trembling as he remembered the way she'd touched him, the way she'd looked up at him with hazy, glazed eyes. He shifted awkwardly in his seat, slacks straining against him. 

A glimpse of pink catches the corner of his eye, Rafe’s gaze lingered on the pink jumper in the backseat, the soft fabric wrinkled from weeks of being tossed around in the car, yet it still carried the faint scent of her. His heart thudded in his chest, and he couldn’t help the surge of desire that bloomed inside him. The memory of her wearing it, her figure draped in the soft jumper, rushed back with vivid clarity.

He reached over slowly, almost as if he was afraid it would disappear if he moved too quickly. His fingers brushed against the fabric, and the sensation sent a small shiver down his spine. Grabbing the jumper, he lifted it from the backseat, holding it in his hands like it was something precious. The soft material felt almost too delicate against his skin, his breath caught in his throat as his mind wandered. He could almost feel her body against his again, the way her soft hands had pressed into him.

He let out a shaky breath, the air in the car feeling warmer than it had moments ago. His fingers traced the edge of the sleeve, the softness reminding him of the girl. Rafe’s grip on the jumper tightened, and his chest rose with a slow, deep breath as he brought the soft fabric up to his face. The scent of her hit him again- intoxicating and something uniquely Y/n that made his stomach flip. His eyes fluttered shut as he inhaled, the softness of the material pressing against his nose, his lips. The familiar scent settled deep inside him, and he couldn’t stop the grunt that slipped out, low and unguarded, his head tilted back against the seat.

His mind swirled with visions of her, of what could have happened, of how easily he could have pulled her back into the car; the heat between them had been undeniable- much too strong to ignore. 

He could feel the burn in his chest, the low, insistent throb heavy between his legs. 

Rafe’s jaw clenched as he pulled the jumper closer to his face again, breathing her in deeply, letting her scent consume him. His hand drifted down his body, fingers fiddling with his belt as he loosened it, the rattling of the metal buckle filling the car. 

He lifted his hips up slightly, shaking hand slipping his trousers down past his hips just enough. His breath was harsh and ragged, his body burning, the feeling of her scent surrounding him; the memory of her touch still fresh in his mind, making him twitch with want, he groaned aloud as he wrapped the jumper around his hand, needing to feel the softness against him.

The jumper was wrapped around his hand in a tight, desperate grip as he moved it down to his crotch, palming himself slowly through the fabric, the friction making his breath come out in quick, uneven huffs.

He let out a low, moan his voice thick with need, but it wasn't enough, it wasn't what he really wanted. 

In a hurried movement, he slid his hand inside his briefs, grasping his length, and began to stroke himself, eyes closed as he let out a guttural groan, his head falling back against the seat as his body responded to the touch of his hand and the soft material wrapped around it.

He imagined the girl in the passenger seat, her eyes heavy-lidded with desire, her lips parted in anticipation as she was moments before he’d told her to leave. 

He swallowed harshly as he circled the tip of his throbbing cock, beads of pre-cum coating his thumb.

His mind flickered back to the golf course weeks ago, the girl on her knees in front of him, innocent doe eyes looking up. He pictured the night going differently, his sweet best-friend leaning over, her lips wrapping around the head of his cock, her tongue swirling and teasing his tip, cheeks hollowing around him. He let out a heavy breath at the image of the girl in his mind, his hand gripping himself tighter. He imagined his hands threading through her hair, pulling it up into a ponytail as her eyes fluttered shut, pushing his hips towards her, the girls nails dragging down his thighs as she gagged around him. Her whimpers and whines echoing in his mind, his hand, still holding the jumper trembled slightly as he pressed it harder against his face, as he thrusted himself up into his fist at the smell of her. Rafe's strokes grew faster, his breath coming out in short gasps, his hips bucking up into his hand frantically as he envisioned the girl pulling away from him, eyes teary and glazed over like they were tonight, looking up to him her mouth open for him awaiting, lips reddened and wet with her spit. 

“Fuck y/n” he groaned shakily as the slick sounds filling the car came to a stop, warm ropes of cum landing over the soft pink material wrapped around his hand.

Rafe's heavy breaths filled the car, windows now fogged up. The boy sat there motionless looking down at the mess in his lap, mind reeling.

What the fu-

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist: @evermorx89 @bellaed1t @user381953 @lovemanheim @loves0phelia @yourcrackleflame @kundaquarius @matthewswifeyy @pillowprincess4him

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

Am I alone in thinking that Chris is very sexually frustrated? Like idk man, I don't think this is behaviour of a dude that's getting it a lot, this is giving lonely guy desperate for connection 😭😭

No you're not alone, as much as I hope he's got a partner for real-

I feel inclined to say gf but Chris hasn't confessed he's into women but idk he just gives me hetero energy okay?

Do I think they're all into women? Yes

Do I think they're all straight? No

He's giving me the vibes of a man who's frustrated for real with his bubble messages and his fancalls, no one delves into the parasocial relationship like he does w/o getting something in return.

Felix is the same- have you seen his Bubble messages? they're like wedding vows for real, he'll write paragraph length sentences about how much he loves and is grateful for Stays.

He is a Scorpio Venus so NDA's and the streets aren't going to satisfy him for long and he's very protective of his image so I doubt he'd risk it anyway.

The minute ppl stan him with other girl groups or tell him about a dating rumour he'll immediately shut it down by saying 'what? they're like a sister to me'

So i do think it's just his hand and his intrusive thoughts and fantasies (whatever they are- I still don't know what he would think about to get himself off) that are keeping him company and the sheets warm.

Idk for how long because it seems like he's been bitchless for a very long time.

I think probably the closest he's going to get to a lay w/o it affecting his career is if he cozies up to one of the makeup artists or assistants that's always around him.

I personally feel that's why his solo stages are always so sensual- it's because he's gotta put his horny thoughts and energy SOMEWHERE and that's the best option for him.

I'll tag my other babygirls and see what they say.

@torialefay @gnabnahcsworld @scuzmunkie @chansfavouritetoy @lyramundana @berryberrytan

[boolger]

I just want a cowgirl for Christmas

Kate Laswell x f!reader💖 MDNI 💖one shot

Idk how to explain why they’re all in America and all cowboys coded but I can explain that I’ve had the song “cowgirl for Christmas” by Drake Milligan stuck in my head since last Christmas/jul. So like, happy holidays if you celebrate any kind of thing this month or upcoming months. 💖Happy holidays the entire year actually ily all my sinners, y’all have been very loving to me this year for some reason and it has made life a lil funnier in many ways. Anyways, hopefully I’ll be able to post something else than this before jul but who the fuck knows. Kate deserves a lil lady for Christmas, she gotta meet that wife somehow ya know. 💖 I’ve done my best to keep the description vague so we can all pretend to be Kate’s Christmas love. However, reader is described as she/her. Uh, this was supposed to be much longer, but time and mental health - and I have to deal with my family lmao

💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖

The bar is almost empty. It doesn’t surprise Kate that much; it’s the 19th of December after all and people need to buy the last couple of Christmas presents if they celebrate that shit. The snow falls outside, giving her boots a nice crunch whenever she moves around in it. Collected by the cowboy hat on top of her head whenever she walks around. But it’s warm in the bar and the alcohol is good as she nurses her second glass, well aware she is gonna have to walk home through that shitty shoe, most likely freezing her ass off on the way.

She is off work, has no responsibilities until next year forces her back in the uniform at the base. In fact, she has no plans at all - on purpose.

“Ya’ look miserable, Laswell,” Alex said, stopping in front of her with a cup of coffee, with a bit of milk in… Kate suspected there were her usual two sugar cubes in.

And that was the truth, wasn’t it? She was miserable and she had absolutely no plans of changing it. A grinch, a sad, lonely woman who purposely drowned her feelings in the local bar, forced to listen to the Christmas songs and people’s chatter in the background.

“I didn’t order this,” she replied, looking up at the man, squinting at his amused smile, “‘nd I’m not miserable.”

“Sure you’re not,” Alex replied, “and it’s on the house - Farah says I have to be nice to you these days.”

Kate huffed, embarrassed over how even Alex’s wife knew of her pitiful behaviour.

“Thank you,” she replied instead of being mean.

“You’re welcome - and you know you're always welcome at ours at Christmas, sweetie,” it was a soft reminder, an offer that you knew he might hope that you would agree to.

“Nah, thanks though,” she managed to give him a smile, instead taking a sip of the coffee, running a hand over the brim of the cowboy hat next to her on the counter, “I’ll stay with the troublemakers at home.”

Said troublemakers were the two horses at her little farm. In truth, it wasn’t those that were a problem - it was merely an excuse to wallow in self pity at home, due to the loneliness that grew in her bones around every Christmas she spent with her friends.

They all had partners by now. Johnny and Simon had their shared wife who was pregnant once more, little Tommy almost three by now. Kyle had been with his girlfriend for three years by now and she suspected one of them would propose soon - probably her, as Kyle seemed to be too shy about it, busy looking for a house to give her. John and Nikolai were close to getting their adoption papers finished, she knew that, so they could give them to their two boys at Christmas, the two boys that they had fostered for the last four years.

It was this - all the love surrounding her, all the joy, all the time they had been together in which Kate had been like now; alone.

She took another sip of the coffee before nursing her whiskey instead - another song starting up and Kate’s eyes flickered close for a moment.

Don't want a set of shiny new spurs

A seat for my saddle, a rope for the herd

Kate huffed at the lyrics, emptying her whiskey before asking Alex for one more, ignoring the sound of the door to the bar opening and closing again.

Santa, I don't need a sleigh full of gifts

There's only one thing on my Christmas list

He filled up her glass, while looking over your shoulder with a grin as Kate listened to the boots moving across the door.

“Hi again, sweetheart,” Alex greeted and Kate finally pulled herself together, looking over her shoulder.

I want a cowgirl for Christmas this year

A cowboy sure gets lonely way out here

Kate had never seen a more beautiful woman in her entire life, wearing cowboy boots, a big coat and jeans as she pulled off her knitted hat, a thin layer of white snow on her clothes.

Wrap her up in jeans and boots

Send her down to me from you

I just want a cowgirl for Christmas

Kate was sure the most perfect being ever existed had just blessed her own sinful soul with your mere presence - Kate wasn’t even sure she was worthy of breathing in the same air as the newcomer.

“Hiya Alex,” oh, lord, even your voice made Kate want to smile, though she didn’t want to come off creepy, so she looked forward again, taking a sip of the whiskey, “can I get a beer?”

I need a little lady, little lady, little lady, little lady, little lady, hoo

I want a little lady, little lady, little lady, little lady, little lady, hoo

“Sure thing,” Alex replied, charming smile on his face as always, “gonna join Laswell ‘ere and mope over Christmas?”

Kate spluttered, sending Alex a nasty stare as he had just betrayed her; pushed her in front of the bus filled with embarrassment and Kate knew her cheeks were growing red. Goddamn Keller.

Ropes and rides right by my side

With starry eyes that sparkle, arms to keep me warm at night

“I am not moping, Alex,” Kate grumbled but she felt herself light up a little, straightening her back as the sound of the cowboy boots came to stand next to her.

“Well, I ain’t really moping too much either,” you said and Kate dared to look over at you as you rested against the counter right next to her, “but I wouldn’t mind joining you?”

That's all I need this Christmas Eve

I just want a cowgirl for Christmas, aha

“Sure,” Kate managed before clearing her throat, “you’re more than welcome to. I - uh, I’m Kate Laswell.”

God she was pathetic at this - she hadn’t flirted with somebody forever and you looked like you had just stepped out of a lesbian cowgirl’s wet dream… perhaps her own.

She offered you her hand and you took it, your fingers a little cold from the outside.

“Nice to meet ya’, Kate,” you replied, your eyes seeming like they sparkled as you told her your name. Kate couldn’t help but imagine your hair against her bedsheets, her fingers running along that pretty body of yours.

“Likewise,” Kate smiled, straightening her back a little as Alex gave you the beer, before he sent Kate a wink. Asshole.

“You new in town?” She added, focusing back on you.

“Yeah,” you took a sip of the beer, a pretty line of white foam laying along your upper lip until you licked it off with your pink tongue, “moved in nearby two weeks ago. Been busy, though.”

“Ah,” Kate nodded along, “explains why I haven’t seen you, then.”

You looked younger than herself and for a moment, she felt like an old pervert. She was 39 and you looked like you were 25 maybe. It both sent sparks of lust through her - together with the feeling of being dirty. Simping, a word Soap had said, for a younger woman.

“Likewise,” you answered, adding a soft “I would have remembered.”

Were you… flirting with her? Kate felt herself blush as if she was a teenager and not a grown up woman. As if she wasn’t much older than you - fuck, it made her feel dirty, in a way she couldn’t describe. Yet it made butterflies flutter inside her stomach, flying around the flowers that had suddenly bloomed.

“ are what doing this Christmas you?” The words almost tumbled out of her mouth, unable to be said in the right order, her lungs filled with a feeling she hadn’t felt for a while, “I uhm- I mean, what are you doing this Christmas?”

You didn’t laugh, but you smiled so sweetly, almost lovingly and Kate was sure she wouldn’t be able to stand with the rush of emotions that went through her at it.

“Not much,” you admitted, your finger playing with the rim of the beer glass, though you didn’t take your gaze of her, “don’t know anybody here - what about you?”

“Not much either,” Kate breathed, “want to uhm - maybe hang out?”

She had never felt as ridiculous as now; in fact she wanted to slam her head into the counter - maybe run away. Even if the town buried her, it wouldn’t be enough. The pure embarrassment of asking a stranger, a hot, beautiful stranger, like that, to spend Christmas with her. Had she gone mad? Perhaps it was the alcohol.

“I’m so sorry,” she hurried to say, “I - you don’t know me, that was inappropriate of me an—“

“I would like that.”

Which such simple words, you made her heart beat a little bit more normal, you made her able to breath again, her throat able to untangle.

“I - yeah?”

“Yeah,” you confirmed with a warm smile and for the first time in years, Kate felt as if Christmas might not be that bad this year.

I just want a cowgirl for Christmas.

[azaharinflames]

tbh two things bother me the most about 'eddie HAS to be gay!!! it'd explain everything!!!' that BoBs do.

the first is just the fact that it feels like waaaay too many people are willing to excuse stuff like misogyny if someone's gay. i get that its probably rooted in this 'well, at least he's not dating/marrying women!' but like... gay men still have women in their lives? some of the fucking abhorrent shit that some of them say is still misogyny and needs to be called out. but also fucking double standards because 'eddie being gay would explain his shitty behavior because repression' oh, like how tommy said and did shitty things because he was closeted? that he fully acknowledged were shitty things later on and that he wasn't proud of the person he was then? things the show implies were forgiven by the people he hurt enough to invite him out for drinks after work? like ok BoBs i see you

the second is like. okay, say eddie IS gay. why would that bring chris home right now? eddie's a single dad, there's struggles that will come with that (esp when he's a literal firefighter... like... that man works long ass hours and we know this), and the idea of finding love again in general can fit into that. but, idk, with eddie there's two things that really need to come first and its chris AND his own wellbeing. get that man into some grief counseling or some sort of support group for widows or something. regardless of his sexuality, he needs to address his issues first and repair his relationship with his son before he can think about introducing someone else into their lives. imo the best person for canon eddie would be a single mom who can both understand what he's gone through but also call him on his shit when need be, but that's just me!! man needs to deal with his issues, period. him being gay and kissing buck wouldn't bring chris home, it'd probably just piss him off more and make him think his dad still doesn't care about him (and probably make him hate, imo, buck for not telling eddie to get his shit together and be the dad that chris wants him to be).

idk i just think its a dumb fucking take to be like 'but if he's not gay then he's just another misogynistic straight man!' like... yeah? those do exist? and this is pretty much the forgiveness and redemption show, eddie's flaws can be overcome if the writers care enough to do it. (and also, like i said... he'd just be a misogynistic gay man if he was gay lmao like misogyny does not disappear just because u aren't straight?? lowkey feels like proof that some of them have never actually spoken to queer men at all to know that they're still diverse in personality lmao).

Hi, Nonnie! Sorry for taking so long to answer, this past month has been something lmao

Yeah, gotta say - that is my biggest issue with it. Being gay never gives you a pass on being misogynistic, and it wouldn't give Eddie one, either. Justifying his misogynistic tendencies and passing them as: oh he just doesn't know how to behave with women, he's gay, is an extremely harmful rhetoric. And one way too many people adopt. No one gets a pass on this, and even if Eddie were to be gay, he wouldn't either. Instead, he would have to acknowledge his bad behaviour and work on it. But it doesn't seem like even the show acknowledges this misogynistic tendencies, so I highly doubt it'll ever be addressed.

and to your second point: yes. yes yes yes yes yes. Even if he were gay, dating Buck would solve 0 of his problems. What Eddie has to do is work on himself for real, because the bs we saw in 806 was not it. He hasn't worked on his grief over losing Shannon, and he hasn't done work with Chris other than considering moving to Texas... not to mention, in canon Eddie is a shitty (romantic) partner. This we know for a fact! And being with Buck wouldn't fix that; if anything (in my opinion) it would make things worse, not better. And yeah, most likely Christ would hate it, because to him it would mean losing Buck too, at some point.

Overall, nonnie, I heavily agree with everything you said! Sadly, Bobs are the most hypocritical and dense creatures I've ever encountered, so even if presented with this, they won't care.

Anyway. My inbox is open for ranting, venting, giving opinions, or confessions!

Take care <3

[zalrb]

PLL 3x21 Review - As Per Anon Request

Spencer: I know who's been helping A, I've known for a few weeks. I've been warned not to tell you.

Aria: You knew who was helping A for a few weeks? Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

ARIA, I SWEAR TO GOD.

So obviously Toby isn't actually A but can I say I think Mona being A is a bigger betrayal than him being A?

Ashley, is Hanna your daughter or your friend?

I mean, you could've reversed, Ashley.

Aria's face when she sees someone with real problems

"What's so funny?" "You!" PERFECT delivery because Spencer is REALLY looking at Emily like

Emily should've been fired from this coffee shop. You're on your phone during a shift AT the counter?

How does it feel, Ezra, for your 16 year old girlfriend to meet your apparent son whose age she was 9 years ago?

So, I know Spencer was mourning Toby and I was like forreal over Toby, so I get that, they did that, but Emily's reaction to the situation and the whole "We told each other everything" etc. how can I explain it, it feels more tangible as a character who cared about Toby? Like, it doesn't necessarily feel like it HAS to be a girlfriend's reaction but the betrayal or the disbelief about the betrayal feels slightly better written here because Toby and Emily actually had a dynamic if any of that makes sense.

Which is all to say once again, the show is much better at writing relationships that aren't romantic in nature or purposefully romantic.

I am so confused, when was Emily ever on a motorcycle?

Will Jenna be in this episode?? ARE WE GOING TO GET A BLIND JOKE?

"What's your favourite horror movie?" idk, probably Ezra with his child and his child bride playing with a train set like it's normal

Enough with the boots

Aria, you are sixteen years old, you should not be watching your boyfriend's child. You should only be watching a kid if you're getting babysitting money, what the fuck are we doing.

Aria is supposed to be the best liar out of all of them and she's horrible at it.

Ezra, you walking pile of shit, don't blame your minor girlfriend for your maybe son cutting his chin. You're terrible. You asked Maggie if she could push her INTERVIEW an hour when you didn't even try to push your tutoring an hour or even cancel to watch your son. Fuck. Off.

No, Spencer, you take the helmet off. I can't take you seriously. You've been drinking dumb bitch juice for a minute now, I don't like it.

Aria, I don't CARE. Spencer is losing it, help her.

Emily really waited for Toby for 2 hours and 15 minutes.

And he's just not worth any of this!

And this one too. "How do you know my name?" "Because you told me earlier." "No I didn't." "Gotta get back to work." And she just let's him walk away. PRESS HIM. "Nah nah how do you know my name???" If none of you are going to leave shit alone then do it PROPERLY. Paris Geller this shit!

You know how wrong you have to be, Hanna, for me to say Aria's making sense?

There are trackers on police cars but anyway.

How empty is Rosewood that two teens can drive a police car through it and then shove it into a lake? WHICH ISN'T EVEN A DEEP LAKE.

But points for casually making Aria an accessory to a crime.

And this is why Caleb is done with you like 98% of the time.

Look at her.

You see what men do to you? Smdh.

And btw, for what TVD wanted for Delena, this should've been Elena over Damon.

But if Mona orchestrated this so Spencer could be in an asylum then honestly, iconic behaviour.

[hostilemuppet]

I know the reason why Branch never mentioned having brothers before was because the creators only thought them up for the third movie and then they had to find a storyline that would fit into the movie’s canon.

But I’m curious to know what’s your opinion on Branch’s brothers?

I mean, I know how you portray them in your AU, but I curious 👀 about your honest opinion of them based on what we learned from the movie.

I don’t know if anyone has asked this before and apologize if have and I couldn’t find it.

i like brozone! jd has been... soured for me after seeing how the fandom treats him but hes still funny when you dont have a bitch in your ear telling you he did nothing wrong

jd: i think jd was abusive. people get mad at me for saying this, but i dont care; he was in charge of his younger brothers and he worked them to the bone, he forced clay to wear underwear he hated and take photoshoots in them for gods sakes! thats freak behaviour! i think a lot about how he treated them, either directly stated by canon (the underwear thing) or inferred by canon + how theyd be treated irl (on top of the super strict workout routine bruce was probably kept on a super strict diet too, dehydrated to make his abs POP, he was MISERABLE). plus the fact he feels absolutely zero sympathy, he just says he "had a lot of responsibility", implying that his brothers should feel grateful for how he "took care of them" 🤮 ELECTRIC CHAIR! i do like how hes so full of himself though, i like how eric andre says he thinks hes the "alpha male" and thats something i feel like a lot of people are missing wrt his characterisation. hes not some cool, rugged, charming guy out in the forest; hes the guy who says he could TOTALLY survive a zombie apocalypse, guys!

bruce and clay: people have literally no reason to get mad at them for leaving the pod, im sorry. they were teenagers who moved out of the house, best case scenario because they hated their big brother, WORST case bc they were escaping ABUSE! yeah, they could have said bye to branch, yeah, they MIGHT have been able to keep in touch (for clay we dont know how long he was bumming around the tree before the last trollstice happened, i do think it was a few years though), but why are we acting like them MOVING OUT is some big crime? they werent gonna stay in the nest forever! BRANCH can be upset, he missed his brothers! we can sympathise with branch! that doesnt mean we need to DEMONISE them for not lying down and letting jd control their lives! bruce was a bit of a dick to branch though but its okay bc they made up. clay however did NOTHING wrong, put some respect on his name 😤

floyd: idk why both the fandom and the movie act like floyd is the only brother who didnt hurt branch, when hes the one who should have hurt him the MOST! he PROMISED hed come back, likely knowing he wouldnt, while the other three just said "sayonara, dont get your hopes up, see you never". floyd gave branch hope that theyd see each other again, and then fucked off for 20 years, not even TRYING to find branch! obviously floyd is my favourite, but most of that i freely admit is like... conjecture, and headcanon, and in the movie itself we really dont know anything about him other than "is gay" and "got branchs hopes up, only to let them get crushed". hes kinda an asshole! which could be fun, but everyone, including the writers ignore it! i kinda hope in the cartoon theres an episode that addresses how floyd never visited. i mean, even the movie says that jd TRIED to visit but found the empty troll tree and assumed everyone was dead! did the same happen to floyd? or did he just not care? without clarification you kinda gotta assume the latter, but im really excited to find out what secondary canon has to say about it!

[pawmesan]

So yesterday I said I had ✨opinions✨ on the DLC and today I have come to the conclusion that as per usual, I will not chill until I dumped them somewhere lmao. It's mainly focused on what I've seen people say about Carmine and Kieran online, be it on tumblr or other websites.

Teal Mask Spoilers under the cut :3

I have no idea if I used the under the cut feature even right lmao I've kinda always just been a douche and ignored it when talking about spoilers as I've realised gfjdjrc

Ok anyway so. I think what personally bothered me the most is a lot of people saying "they just have a perfectly fine siblings relationship, nothing unhealthy to see here" and "Kieran is a coldass douchebag who view others as objects and only cares about strength". Both statements I strrroooongly disagree with.

First about his and Carmine's relationship, since it plays into the other thing. It seems that their parents aren't around, though it's unknown why. The grandparents are apparently pretty lackluster in taking over their job and because of that, it seems that Carmine has taken it on herself to take somewhat of guardian role for Kieran. Which is a role she's visibly overwhelmed by, which makes sense, because that's not a role you should have to take when you yourself are maybe like 17/18 lol. You can see that she absolutely does care for and wants the best for him, but at the same time she can't wrap her head around his actions and how he's feeling. So a lot of the things she does she does out of good intentions (for example telling the player for him that he's interested in them because she says he couldn't ever ask on his own, or the whole lying thing where she believes not telling him you guys met Ogrepon prevents him from feeling left out), without understanding that they have quite literally the opposite effect (Kieran feeling like he's unable to do anything on his own BECAUSE she does everything for him, and of course him feeling left out BECAUSE you and her keep meeting Ogrepon a secret). On top of that she clearly has issues keeping her own emotions down, so instead of reacting calmly she'd yell at him whenever he does or says something she doesn't like. And whether you want to see that certain one-liner as her implying she does also hit him when she's not "being nice" or not, she seems unaware of what effect these reactions have on her brother. I do think the implication might very well be on purpose, but it's just not as obviously stated as it could be because this is still a Pokémon game and we don't gotta be too in your face about child abuse in a game that like 8 year olds play lol.

Anyway, aside from him thinking he can't make decisions on his own and stuff, there's a lot of ways this treatment shows in Kieran. Notice how while Carmine is pretty open about showing her anger, he keeps trying to repress his own until later in the story where he's starting to be unable to do so? You can see that when you battle him the first couple times and he loses, the light in his eyes leaves briefly (yknow, the anime thing they both do where that shows them being angry/frustrated) before he grabs his head and just says aw man or something. And when she outs him on his crush or whatever on you, he also looks angry like that, but she immediately shuts him down like usual. I'm pretty sure that's a learned behaviour on his part, aka "when I get openly angry or sad my sis will yell at and/or hit me so I have to keep it down". That's why he always switches the topic, runs off or just goes quiet when he pisses her off or he thinks he pisses her or someone else off. It's optional dialogue so idk how many people have seen it, but Carmine confirms that at the festival, though she again misunderstands why he does it.

Have a high quality photo of what I mea-

So yeah, in short, in regards to their relationship, I think it's clear that it's pretty dysfunctional. For some reason Carmine's stuck with taking a caretaker role she cannot possibly fill given her own issues and age. As a result, she takes it out on her little brother who in turn has to suffer the double bagage of lack of parents and dealing with his older sister's moods. And with next to no social contacts outside of her, he's stuck in that situation and he's got no one to help him learn how to deal with this in a healthier way (same with Carmine really). All he knows that if he was "stronger", he could deal with this better. Like that cool ogre from the folktale that does not care what people think of it and keeps fighting for its right to be respected regardless. Stronger being a very arbitrary word here, as the only specific goal he mentions (in the beginning) is able to stand up against his sister.

Now onto the whole "Kieran sees Ogrepon, the player, probably everyone but him, as an object" thing which... yeah no, he's not a sociopath kcngjtc

More precisely, the player character comes in as this cool person who has no trouble beating his sister in a battle. They don't seem to have all that much trouble socialising either. Good thing he doesn't know all the kewl stuff we did at Area Zero and all or he'd lose it completely. I think a big bonus is also that we're not from his town, so we don't have any bias against his ogre idol. So like, he's head over heels for us, he actually gets to hang out with us and warms up as we realise we're interested in his stories and all and wow. He's found an actual real friend omg. He might not be 100% aware of that, but that's all he really wanted. He wanted to befriend the ogre because it sounded like it would be someone to understand him. And now there's suddenly this super nice person who's taking that role.

But then suddenly, that person hangs out with his meanie sister and stops interacting with him almost entirely. I have a feeling that Carmine hanging out with people he'd want to befriend and them making fun of him is just a thing that happened before and that's why he jumps to that conclusion right away. Keep in mind, the reason Carmine came to us in the first place is literally to make fun of his lack of skills at the mini game lol.

So yeah, the reason Kieran is so massively pissed off is because he does view the player character as a human being, and one he really really liked and put up the courage to open up to, yet from his POV we shamelessly take advantage of that and leave him alone again to hang out with his sis instead. Would probably come off to him like you just pretended to be his friend because you had to and now you're hanging out with the cooler kids and giggle about how silly he looked when, idk, he asked to have a sandwich with you lol. Of course this is not what the player intended (or is meant to intend) and I too felt physical pain when the game gave me no option but to lie xD but I'm pretty sure you guys making up and giving each other another chance is what's gonna happen in Indigo Disk.

For Ogrepon, instead of as an object, I think he just keeps seeing the ogre from the story in her. You gotta remember that he never gets to properly interact with her, he doesn't even refer to her by her actual name like Carmine does once she learns it. He doesn't understand that, ironically just like him, what she really wants is just acceptance and a friend. He thinks that the reason she's distrusting of him is not because she has trust issues and needs to warm up first just like him, but because he isn't as strong as you are, the one she does trust much easier. He's so convinced that nothing in his life will change for the better until he's "stronger" that... presumably the Dokutaro thing somewhere during the mid point starts influencing him. Not like, straight up possession, but more it taking advantage of his instability and promising to give him the strength he wants if he does what it wants. Just like the dex entries of the loyal three says what happened to them. So Dokutaro moreso takes the role of some guy who's a really bad influence and convinces you to do things that will harm both you and others with some sneaky lil psychological tricks. Because I mean, self-sabotaging is something Kieran literally does around the time he presumably comes in contact with Dokutaro. He completely stops trying to talk to you, he boxes the furret he apparently raised from an egg, he doesn't come along to help beat the loyal three to get the masks. I wonder tbh, if Dokutaro was influencing him, if it didn't lead him away from helping with that on purpose, since it originally made the loyal three steal the masks in the first place. I guess that would also explain why he would have been fine with Ogrepon just going back to the cave so he could get the masks back later. And while there definitely is the whole jealousy aspect, I think it's also Dokutaro leading him into actions he wouldn't normally do to get the masks. Because if he gets the masks it'll give him what he wants or whatever. I think without the Dokutaro influence, honestly, he'd probably just have locked himself up in his room for the rest of the story after you lying and sobbed into his Furret pal's fur lmao.

Soo yeah, I think that's about it. They both have quite some issues and continue the trend of ScaVio characters that really need a therapist lol. I like Kieran especially though, he's really adorable despite having his own set of flaws of course. So I do hope the next part will take his (and Carmine's) story into a satisfying direction. And I better get to give him a hug because he needs one smh. Maybe Arven can make him some top tier candy apples. Oh oh yeah, noticed btw that he adds Dipplin to his team after he gave us a candy apple at the festival and told us there's a mon that looks like one? Pokémon likes to do storytelling via the team, so maybe the Dippling reminds him of our broship 😔😔

[chaos0pikachu]

Hi chaos,

I don't know if you've heard of the Ohm-Nanon fans going to Nanon's concert wearing Ohm masks but it happened? (I don't know how to end that sentence.) (Sorry, English isn't my first language.)

You have written about parasocial relationships so I wanted to ask why are people still involved in Ohm-Nanon? Bad Buddy ended so long ago and they are still doing all this. What makes Ohm-Nanon so special? We haven't see such huge bad behaviour from other pair brands.

Please never ever apologize for how you sound in English which is a dumb broken language anyway lol fr you're English is great

anyways um, what in the fucking purge?? lmao sorry the masks thing is just taking me out I'm imagining it and the image in my head is giving kdrama to the max with the discord music and everything lmaoooo

I had not heard of that b/c I don't follow actors like that at all this is very much Brand New Information.gif for me whew wow

Soft disclaimer here I am not an expert behavioral science or anything related so like, anything I say in regards to this is based only on what I've read, can link to from experts in the field, and speculation.

I don't think OhmNanon are necessarily "special" tbh like this behavior is extreme but I wouldn't call it "new".

In western fandom you had or still have fans behaving like this we just call them "tinhats".

Like, take Larries for instance, Louis just spoke about it in an interview that nothing he can say will deter the conspiracies theorists so he's kinda stuck. This article from VOX is old (2016) but it features a pretty clear cut timeline of the theories, and obsession tinhats have with Larry. Even before Larry there was J2 (Jensen Ackles/Jared Padalecki from Supernatural):

I want to note that One Direction stopped being an active band in 2016, almost 8 years ago. And neither Harry nor Louis have been spotted like, hanging out~~ in public for almost that entire time. Meanwhile Jared and Jensen have been been married to their wives since 2010, almost 15 years.

To play fair, Caitríona Mary Balfe (best known for Outlander) is also at the root of a tinhat conspiracy with her costar Sam Heughan. Caitriona has been married since 2019.

Western fandom likes to pretend this environment of fan entitlement, and obsessing over costars relationships is an East Asian entertainment only thing. I thoroughly disagree, and I'm sure the people involved in these various tinhat conspiracies, many who have been thoroughly and ruthlessly harassed along with their spouses, family, friends, and anyone else caught in the crossfire would also disagree.

For me the only arguable difference between like MewGulf and Larry is MewGulf played up skinship as a means of capital and for work, while Louis and Harry were just two dudes in a band.

[I even watched the old school MewGulf videos of them during Peak Fanservice Era and I gotta say it's all so obviously hilarious fake and played up I would have never taken them seriously as a true blue couple. They reminded me more of Adam Lambert making out with his bassist during his FYE tour (Tommy, who from what I remember is straight but idk 100%) for the fun and rock n roll of it all.]

I'm getting off track, I don't think OhmNanon are "special" by-the-by because I've seen this entitled and obsessive behavior with other tinhat ships. The length of time doesn't really matter, what matters is sunk cost fallacy:

"the phenomenon whereby a person is reluctant to abandon a strategy or course of action because they have invested heavily in it, even when it is clear that abandonment would be more beneficial."

Fans have invested time, love, and literal money into Ohm and Nanon, therefore giving them up - and thus giving up the "community" they've build with other Ohm and Nanon fans - is unthinkable and painful.

Combine that with general fan entitlement towards public figures, the para-sociality of believe you, individually, know what's "best" for this person - aka this STRANGER - and there's a belief that you can change or force an outcome that suits your needs and wants.

There's a lot of dehumanization involved in fan entitlement, ppl stop viewing public figures - especially actors and musicians - as products rather than people. And with a product if you leave a bad review, and enough bad reviews the company will fix and change the product.

But people aren't products, and you can't force them to do what you want or be who you want them to be just because it upsets YOU individually.

So at the end of the day, what's gonna happen with Ohm and Nanon? Well, they'll probably just keeping doing what they do. Filming their individual shows, maybe one of them will do another BL - I think Ohm already has one in the works? - and try to move on with their lives. They're coworkers and from what I've seen seem fine being coworkers. I'm not interested in speculating what their relationship is, or was, publicly, they've said they're fine with each other so I'm very es lo que es about it.

For fans, well they're probably slowly taper off eventually with only a core group of "true believers" or whatever like some MewGulf, BrightWin and others have. As fans I think the only thing we can do is discourage the behavior, and be empathetic towards the people being harassed.

Now I'm gonna leave you with my favorite debunk of a tinhat post:

[apokalyptiskgengangare]

Subjective Experience is a Bitch. It's fucking tiring to feel like you're unique in your Experience. Like the current Feeling ive got is just a general overprevalance of Men everywhere. I used to know alot of lesbians/sapphics whatever but ive either lost contact or theyve become bi or straight. And being the only lesbian you know and ontop of that being trans aint a good combo. Really feels like youre just a straight man. When everyone around you is so big on men and talk about how wonderful men are and you just feel like youve somehow made yourself worse by identifying as a woman. And also i hate hearing about peoples sexuality changing as they go on hormones. So much of my gender identity is encoiled with sexuality and god the though of that changing and me starting to like men sickens me and makes me want to hurl. also it feels really bifobic thinking like this but also idc rn. its probably inadvicable but i gotta get it out of my system, yes i kinda hate men and i try to work on that but also sometimes i feel like i need to find all my representation through stuff that others like and like no i want representation for me but its almost always dumb bullshit that doesnt apply to me. Im a Trans Lesbian who: actually have made efforts to think ideologically and doesnt just spew a haphazard socialjustiselibertarianism that has no grounding. i dont think NV is the best game ever its mearly good i dont like kink stuff like im fine with it but i dont want to engage im not actually that weird in my sexuality im a lesbian bc i like other women trans-cis and also fem presenting nonbinary ppl ig. Im shit at programing im shit at music I dont have a prefrance for anime or manga Im shit at hoi4 and only play it when im drunk enough that the hours i wasted on it dont feel bad im halfway competent at painting miniatures and an ok at sketching idk sometimes it feels like im just delusional and like people just go along with stuff

doesnt help that i cant find similar people when i dislike like a solid 3/4 of the transwomen i meet and idk why or whats wrong with me but it just happens i know like 2-3 transwomen i like and have liked since i met them. the rest i dont despise or anything but it doesnt make it better to be around them and i dont feel like i share something with them always like sometimes it feels like we're worlds apart just bc i dont think animes good and i dont think christianity is fundamentally evil

this post reminds me i need to take some fucking magnesium dubois ass behaviour

[episbep]

rehab days seventeen and eighteen

two really tough days. I got some bad/uncomfortable information and spiralled - taking 7 sleeping pills in 2 days didn’t help, it’s still using/abusing behaviour and I made some really unwise choices - namely arranging to buy 14 grams of ket for £140 - cracking deal but the enticement is too much. There’s too much to lose by doing it so idk why I’m tempted to go back to the dark days of addiction, idk what the appeal is in my fucked up little brain. I know logically that I do not want to be an addict, I have tried to stop so many times and it’s taken a fucking lot to get me this far (I’m only 18 days sober but it’s been a fucking mission and a half even getting to this point) and I know that using (especially a fucking half oz) will throw me back into full blown addiction and the consequences would only continue to get more severe. I’m not prepared to give anything else to this fucked up addiction despite having already lost so much, I still have so much left to lose and so much to work towards and look forward to that I do not want to jeopardise. I had a full blown meltdown after I was unable/unwilling to share in group therapy bc my little crush was told to ‘just stop talking and sit with it for a minute’ and that translated to ‘shut up’ in my mind. Couldn’t stop crying, didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to stay in treatment but didn’t want to leave either, didn’t want to die but definitely didn’t want to keep on living in pain like…it was awful. I could barely breathe and wanted to be alone but then was appreciative when Carl (the best support worker probably in the world) came and sat with and listened to me, followed by the centre manager lol the drama of it all was a bit much but I was not in a good place whatsoever. To cut a long story short I’ve been put on a risk assessing safety plan and have to - attend an online Buddhist centre meeting daily - stay with other people at pretty much all times - complete a daily diary that I submit as well as a personal daily diary - call the on-call number at 9pm each day and practice radical honesty (the last one I’ve given to myself bc I’m still chiding a lot and acting sneaky which is not healthy helpful or adhering to step one!) if I can prove my commitment to recovery and do all these over the weekend, they are going to explore charity funding to help me extend my stay in treatment and get the help that I clearly fucking need. That was my glimmer of hope. That is what’s keeping me going - that little bit of hope that just maybe I can be okay, that someone believes in me, I’ve just gotta show my dedication. There’s no guarantee, but there is hope, and right now that is enough. I thought I’d get clean and that would be that, I was not prepared for the amount of the hard hard work that I have to put in to sustain sobriety, and all the other shit that comes with it that I’ve had to deal with. The emotions are the worst of it. I’ve used ket as a crutch and a cure for so long, before that it was weed, before that it was drinking and the first addiction of them all was self harm. I’m amazed I haven’t reverted back to it, but I am both pleased and proud that I haven’t. Healing is so non-linear and I don’t ever know what the next day is going to bring. That’s why I just have to take it one day at a time.

[dorkbajirchronicles]

Some more ideas from the notes:

- Leeran Mind Meld, an idea I love that I gotta bring up again (maybe served with lil gummy frogs)

- ants on a log, served with psychological horror

- mid-morph steak that's half raw and half well done

- jello shots for taxxons (I like this a lot too, maybe combine it with Oreo dust and one of every alcohol?)

- something space-y for Ellimist (edible glitter? Feet? Hmmm)

- ginger and maple, obviously. Idk if I want to do a drink with that or just do oatmeal cookies - I worry a drink would have a medicinal feel? Maybe make it with gin and lean into that? Someone also suggested just serving oatmeal in a shot glass which don't tempt me I just might

- grape juice visser 3 shot

(why yes I am constantly checking this post for ideas yes this is normal human behaviour no I definitely have no other tasks I am avoiding)

I also plan on making and running an Animorphs quiz and testing my friends. Brayden from the podcast will be there so he has an advantage but everyone else will have to use their best guess and it's really just a chance for me to trap my friends and make them learn about my favourite book series muahaha

I'm throwing an Animorphs-themed party in a couple weeks, mainly as an excuse to make themed snacks and cocktails. Here are my ideas so far:

- the Cube: a mojito with a large blue ice cube (Andalites)

- bark spritz: some sort of gin-cinnamon stick-maple syrup combo (Hork-Bajir) I've found luck in Christmas vibe drinks with apple cider added as well

- kandrona shot: cinnamon whisky and coke with a piece of cinnamon gum inside (Yeerks)

- thermal sunset: orange juice, rum, vodka, sprite, with a bit of grenadine (Animorphs)

[ksjknj]

theres a new video going round about BTS being problematic and some of the stuff is actually really shocking :((( idk what to think. have u seen it??? if u search 'bts being problematic for 4 minutes 20 seconds' on yt its there. im actually so disappointed in them.

dude i’m afraid i have no idea what you’re referring to but there’s been quite some shit circulating lately that accuses bts of various things uhh so .. yeah, i’m not sure? i’d say look at everything wearing your thickest sceptic glasses and think critically bc there is some absurd n straight up dumb crap

but also .. the boys are human, they make mistakes, they have done some problematic shit in the past. they’re still learning, still improving, still growing. joon apologised for what he said/did and has been repeatedly proving us that he’s read up on different issues, that he’s educating himself, that he’s trying to become better, that the mistakes he’s made over the years don’t define the person he is now

i see him dragged into all sorts of discussions when it comes to problematic behaviour of other idols, almost as if saying joon did smt similar might lessen the problematic actions .. but the funny thing is - namjoon is one of the only people who apologised for his actions, who has on several occasions admitted he was wrong, and whose behaviour clearly shows he’s learned

[aquagustd]

Hi!!! as a response to the other anon who was saying something about how they wanted to see jk fold for oc just so sora can have the smirk wiped off her face… I honestly believe the whole reason she’s acting smug in front of oc at every opportunity in the first place is because she already knows oc has the ability to make him fold and not only that, it would be pretty easy for her to do it as well. And knowing this probably infuriates the shit out of her because in her mind she’s had to do so much shit and bend over backwards just to get jk to be hers, and even now he’s not really hers fully is he? Not with the conflicting feelings he has for oc now and the unresolved trauma between them both and the fact that oc and jk will always have special memories together, them being each other’s first love etc etc!! Idk if it’s really the case or not but her behaviour to me absolutely screams of overcompensation because she’s insecure about something. If she wasn’t she would have sat on the couch and ate the nachos like a normal human being instead of being like 💃🏼💃🏼💅🏽💁🏼‍♀️(this is her flipping her hair thinking anyone in the room actually gives a poop about her hickeys)

Also…. I have a theory/prediction that’s been weighing on my mind 🫣 I hope I’m remembering this correctly and I’m sorry if I’m not but I think you said that hie’s sequel will be about oc reconnecting with the person that she doesn’t end up with at the end of hie, and that it happens a few years after hie ends. and if that’s the case I honestly think it’s gotta be jk that she ends up with someway somehow IDK exactly how it would happen but knowing you I feel like you could write it and have it be 100% believable even though he’s incredibly frustrating and untrustworthy as a character right now!! The reason I think this is because if it were the other way around, and oc and tae end up together, that would mean jk would have to be out of touch with oc for the time period of years for them to be able to “reconnect” and I truly don’t see that happening with how involved they both want to be in junho’s life. Continuing to be a dad to junho inevitably means being in proximity to oc because there is no way oc would let jungkook take smiley and run off to somewhere for years I feel like hell would freeze over before she lets that happen and i also feel like jungkook despite abandoning junho once before would not by his own free will do it again. I think even though he’s not a very good partner he is genuinely trying to be a good dad. And with the way things are going in the story right now both oc and jk are trying to do what’s best for junho which is being as normal of a family unit as they can for his sake. Soooo idk IDK I may be way off the mark and you’re sitting here laughing at my theory because you have something completely different up your sleeve but I just wanted to get it out of my head and down somewhere!!

I really hope you don’t feel pressured or like I’m trying to squeeze any spoilers out of you j promise I’m not!! I just thought hmm that might be plausible and I wanted to share with you <3

everything you said about sora 👏🏻 she is insecure about something, & that something is the fact that she knows jungkook holds oc to a very high level and considering how sora & jk’s relationship started off, that’s gonna be sitting on her shoulders as long as oc is around. and she’s not gonna just sit and do nothing about it…that’s why she’s acting so smug, etc. deep down she knows she’ll never get 100% of jungkook. now the question is how deep does her hate run 🫣🥴

oof that’s a v good theory. tbh it can go either way with jungkook and taehyung. i don’t want to go into detail bc that would mean me spoiling the fic but jungkook can disappear. he did it before and he can do it again. we already know he leaves now and again. who’s to say he won’t leave for a prolonged period of time ?? he can keep in contact with junho but if he leaves, tae’s gonna be there & oc will have no reason to talk to jk unless it’s about junho, etc. so there is a possibility of jungkook leaving again & then reconnecting with oc after years.

also, your theory wasn’t bad at all !! no theory is a bad theory !! unless it strays too far from the plot 🥴 it is a v good theory. vv big brained and had me thinking and choosing my words carefully 🫣

[beansmakesthings]

I will ABSOLUTELY engage with you!

Alliance theatre. Maybe a basic answer, but idk it just hits so good.

Jane Doe and Mischa

Uhm Virgil I guess? Idk he's the one with the least character and I love everybody too much.

Yes. I can't pick one favourite. They all go so hard.

If I can count cut songs, Tragic Fact. Not that it's bad or I genuinely dislike it or anything, I still know all the words and bop to it, but I think it's one of the weaker intros cause it's kind of excessively long without giving that many details aside from 'this town sucks ass'.

If I rank them by personal taste and not by their actual effectiveness at establishing the start of a story then, Waiting for the Drop, The Fall Fair Suite, The Uranium Suite, U-R-A-N-I-U-M, Tragic Fact (I think The Uranium Suite is the best one at establishing the story though and I get why they went with it)

BUT AT THE TOP OF THE PEAK THERE'S A MOMENT WHERE YOU'RE KING OF THE WORLD AND SUDDENLY YOU'RE HURLED OVER UP AND THEN DOWN TOWARDS THE CARNIVAL GROUND SCREAMING JOIN THE CRAZY TWISTED SYMPHONY OF SOUND 🗣🗣🗣🗣🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Probably Corey, but I mean he's basically part of the draft for Mischa

I'm not the biggest Nischa endgame shipper. At least, not unless they do genuinely stay dead. I think it's cute as a mutual crush, but if Mischa came back to life and didn't have a big happy family with Talia after a song and monologue like that I would cry

Perfectdolls. There's nothing funnier or sweeter to me than this bitchy ginger having her entire understanding of herself and her sexuality flipped on its head because of some weird creepy doll girl. Plus, if they come back to life, I think Ocean dating an autistic girl would really put into perspective how terrible she's been to disabled and queer people and she'd probably improve a lot more

Mmm probably Ocean and Constance? Not that I don't get it, but I just think Constance probably had a big crush on Ocean that got steadily ruined over time by Ocean's behaviour and I doubt Constance would want to be anything more than friends after all that.

Emily Rohm has my entire heart, what an icon

LISTEN. Jane Doe is Ocean's character arc. Yeah Constance is absolutely part of it in making Ocean realize how terrible she's been, but Jane Doe is a physical manifestation of Ocean's bigotry and her gradual acceptance of her is Ocean coming to terms with herself and starting to be better. To go from calling Jane a thing and a freaky monster, to hearing her pain and actually trying to do something as opposed to brushing it off by throwing her a party and writing her a song, to ultimately choosing Jane over herself to come back to life because Ocean isn't the most important person in the room and she isn't better than Jane Doe. To be the physical embodiment of someone's capacity and gradual willingness to change, can that not be considered love?

Gus Halper's Mischa. He doesn't play my boy to be an idiot

Okay listen, we all know the McCarter Theatre production was fucked behind the scenes, but with that said, the choreography that Eli Mayer does in This Song is Awesome and Talia is amazing and the entire staging of thay version of Talia is brilliant (my one gripe with Talia is his mispronounciation of the Ukrainian but honestly that's probably the fault of whatever dialect coach they brought in)

Oh man Majectic Rep and Roxy theatre's Jane Does gotta be some of my favourite make up in anything ever

We do not talk enough about Lillian Castillo on the official soundrack doing Sugar Cloud. She put her all into it and it touches my very soul

I have far too many headcanons for RTC so um... a random headcanon for Ocean is that she secretly likes Mischa's music and has an account on YouTube no one knows about that she saves all his song with

This one is kind of nitpicky, but because I'm a nerd it's always bugged me how the accident happened. Because it is SO UNLIKELY that they would've come off the track at the apex of a loop. There's too much centripetal force and inertia acting on the car to keep it on the track. My 'theory' on how this could actually be possible is that the loop they were on was one of those ones that starts to twist halfway through the loop, which they call an Immelmann roll I believe? The axel broke as they were coming to the twisty bit, so they were starting to go sideways as opposed to directly upside down, which is what allows them to come off the track while still being more or less upside down for the whole 'saling through space' stuff.

Hot_smokey_cowboy on Ao3. Absolute bangers fics and a friend of mine, but she hasn't updated in while. Still really good stuff though.

Can I say hot_smokey_cowboy again?

No, I don't have any OCs for RTC. Unless you count my take on Penny Lamb which is pretty much entirely my head canons, but that's wayyy too long of a conversation lol

I mean, probably The Strangest Person in Town or something like that. I have a lot of family that live in small Canadian towns kinda like Uranium and let me tell you, I can barely talk to my cousins' friends because we have so little in common. I can tell they think I'm weird. I don't mind or care at all, but yeah probably something to do with being seen as a weird kid lol

"It took a horrible accident for me to realize how God damn wonderful everything is." But really that entire monologue from Constance was pulled right out of my heart and thrown on the stage to face me

I want someone in a Dogulous costume. Even just stick some dog ears with little alien antenna bawbles on them to Karnak's head. I just need everyone to turn to someone and aggressively call them a 'son of a bitch'.

I mean, I think everyone's talked about RGC at this point, but I'll throw some more promotion their way. Good shit!

Alliance Theatre, RGC, Roxy, McCarter, Majestic Rep, and one more but I literally cannot remember the name sorry

No. They literally came to my city on the Canadian Tour and I missed it by being 8 and in a family of people who didn't like theatre

I would LOVE to play Jane Doe. I'm already a soprano and can sing The Ballad of Jane Doe kind of decently. Give me some more vocal training and spooky makeup and I'm ready

The overwhelming theme of love. Ride the Cyclone is funny and dark and the characters are flawed, but at the end of the day, everyone in the show either expresses their love and passion for something, or they learn to be more open to love and to become a better person. It's a show about how powerful and important love is and how, if shown enough of the kindness and compassion there is in the world, anyone is capable of change.

Ride The Cyclone Ask Game!!!

Just some fun little questions!! Please do rant as much as you want with any and all of your answers :D

Favourite production?

Favourite character?

Least favourite character?

Favourite song?

Least favourite song?

How would you rank the opening songs?

Favourite cut song?

Favourite cut character?

Unpopular opinion? Or if you don't have any, a popular opinion you agree with?

Favourite ship?

Least favourite ship/ship that you don't understand the hype for?

Favourite RTC actor(s)?

Favourite representation of [insert ship]?

Favourite interpretation of [insert character]?

Favourite take on [insert song]?

Favourite costumes/set design?

Favourite vocal performance?

What are your headcanons for [insert character]?

Do you have any theories?

Favourite RTC fanfic/fic author/fic recs in general?

Favourite RTC fanart/fanartist/any fanart you love?

Do you have any OCs? If so what are they like?

What would your catchphrase be and/or what 'The ___ in Town' would you be called?

Favourite line of dialogue?

Something you haven't seen in a production that you want to?

Any underrated productions you love?

How many productions have you watched? Which ones?

Have you ever been to see a RTC production?

If you were in a production of RTC, who would you play?

Overall favourite part of RTC and/or the fandom?

[whumpmatsus]

Hi I’m a silent fan who loves your work:) I’m too shy to say it directly but I do! I have possibly an odd request if you’d like to write it but you don’t have to if this is too out of your zone ;__; I headcanon ichimatsu as autistic because he displays a lot of behaviours I have with autism as well (low monotone voice, doesn’t really emote a lot,shown to be uncomfortable with being touched sometimes, difficultly saying verbally and directly what he means, even the way he sits with his knees right up to his chest LOL) I was wondering if you could write something to do with that if you wanted to! It could be anything like hurt comfort (have you ever seen the scene from the osomatsu game dead or working where ichimatsu and osomatsu get a job together and osomatsu yells at their boss for making ichimatsu feel bad that he’s not able to naturally smile and speak as expressively as his brother is by saying “that’s just how he is!!” ..I thought that was so sweet😢 maybe something along those lines but with any brother you want! But my personal favourite ichimatsu relationships are with kara, jyushi and oso lol)

Sorry that this is such a specific request you can reallt do whatever..I love your writing so much! Thank you!

hiiii, I'm so glad you like my content!! if you ever wanna come talk directly, I'm 100% okay with that, but as someone who's kinda shy myself I totally understand that it's not easy 💜

as for the request!! I don't know if this is a headcanon I'd subscribe to personally in my usual writing of Ichimatsu (my headcanons for him right now are depression and anxiety, social anxiety, and avoidant personality disorder) buuuuut it's definitely an interesting one to play around with, so I enjoyed exploring it, and I can absolutely see why it's a headcanon you have!

I'm not autistic myself (at least not that I know of; tho I do have some anxiety and maybe possibly undiagnosed ADD, but again, that's only a possibility so idk) so I hope I portrayed it ok, at least the behaviors Ichimatsu would have!

this is technically Allmatsu because DUDE all the brothers are so supportive of him, but it does skew a bit toward Parkamatsu because... well, I haven't written a lot of Parkamatsu here yet XD

I hadn't seen this scene before because I've never played the game and had some trouble finding English subbed videos of people playing it, but I found an English subbed one of this scene this morning and AUGH MY HEART, OSO IS A GOOD BIG BROTHER FIGHT ME!!

I hope you enjoy!!! I tossed some brief NPCs in there too because I thought it would be cute lol

-

As far as the Matsuno sextuplets are concerned, even though Osomatsu can be a dumbass and a jerk sometimes, he’s the eldest. That gives him a little more (unofficial) authority within their little group. If he says something that’s not totally ridiculous, the rest of them listen. They follow his lead when it’s reasonable. He doesn’t know best all the time, but some of the time.

That ‘listen to the oldest brother when he’s not being a stupid ass’ effect is probably how they all ended up working in the same restaurant.

It’s a good idea, and Osomatsu made sense when talking about how they should all apply there. Maybe they could work in different departments, but if they’re all working in the same place, they can keep an eye on each other. It’ll be easier to talk to each other on lunch breaks… and maybe they can pull a couple silly pranks on their coworkers, pretending to be each other like they did when they were younger.

Besides, it’s time they all got jobs anyway, even if it’s just part-time. They’ve gotta start somewhere, after all. It’s been about a week since they started; they’re settling in pretty well. Osomatsu and Choromatsu are doing great as bartenders, Karamatsu and Jyushimatsu are hard at work in the kitchen, and Ichimatsu went along with Totty to be a server.

Everyone else seems to be doing pretty great. Ichimatsu, on the other hand, is half a step away from hating his job.

It’s not that he isn’t putting effort into it. He’s doing the best he can, and jobs aren’t supposed to be fun, sure, but… this goes beyond him simply not liking the job. It’s not a good fit for him, he thinks. His brothers are all enjoying their jobs, and meanwhile he’s struggling to get through a whole shift without running to the bathroom to cry.

In the single week he’s been here, he’s had so many customers complain about him. He doesn’t engage, he isn’t friendly, he speaks quietly and sounds like he’s bored, he slouches, he doesn’t laugh at people’s jokes… the list of complaints customers have about him is endless. Every day it’s something new.

He’s always been a little different from his brothers. He has trouble with anything social, and his face has never been as expressive as them unless he’s really feeling something ― forcing an expression onto his face is difficult for him. Even though he tries to work his life around it, and it doesn’t bother the people who love him, it’s a huge obstacle to his new job.

Every time Takeda-san, the general manager, tells him that he seems not to be doing well, Ichimatsu tries to defend himself by saying he’d be more comfortable working in the kitchen. He’d switch places with Jyushimatsu in a heartbeat, even though it would mean working with Karamatsu.

And every time, Takeda-san tells him no, he’s just not trying hard enough, that he has to do better at this job. “There’s no job-hopping around here, so just try harder,” he says, so Ichimatsu tries to double down on the effort he’s putting in.

It doesn’t really work, though. He’s already trying as hard as he can to do a good job. There’s really nothing wrong with his performance. He’s polite and doesn’t give customers attitude, he brings everyone the right food and corrects mistakes if he makes them, he tells everyone to have a nice day when they leave. It’s just that he doesn’t usually have a smile on his face, and his voice is a little flat, and he doesn’t connect in a personal way.

Seriously, what does Takeda-san expect? He’s doing the best he can. If he wasn’t trying as hard as he could, he’d have already given up on this bullshit. Even though it’s not the best job for him, he’s still putting in as much work as he can.

At least he and Totty are a pretty good tag-team working together. The restaurant is on the small side, so they share the main section. If one of their tables is ready to leave and whoever served them in the beginning is busy with another table, the other one will tap in to finish things. Right at the moment, Ichimatsu notices that Totty’s currently trying to get everyone at one table their food, while the table he got earlier looks like they’ve got their check ready.

At the moment, he just put in orders for his own table, so those won’t be ready for a few minutes. “Hey, Totty,” he calls as he steps away from the kitchen doors. “Want me to get the check from table 4?”

“Ah! Are they ready to pay? Sorry, this food just came out… yes, please, if you don’t mind!”

“Yeah, no problem.” He walks over toward the table, doing his best to collect himself; he can feel Takeda-san’s eyes on him from behind the cash counter. Table 4 is a young family with a couple of kids, and although they’re entertaining themselves, they also seem to be patiently waiting for someone to take their payment. “Hey, guys… sorry about the wait. You’re all set?”

The woman smiles and reaches to hand him the tray where the check is set. “It’s okay, hon, we haven’t been waiting long!” With her other arm she catches the whining child who presses himself into her side, laughing. “Yep, here’s the check and my card. Could we just get a receipt after you run it through?”

“Sure.” He takes the tray from her and moves to step toward the counter, then an afterthought pops up in his mind. “Oh, uh… there was nothing wrong with anything for you guys, right?”

The man, with the more energetic little girl clambering in his lap, beams. “No, no, everything was great. Our server was really attentive.”

Ichimatsu nods. “Okay, good. Be back in a minute.”

Practically as soon as he steps behind the counter to take care of the check, Takeda-san is grabbing him by the arm. He freezes up, only able to look at his boss in fear for a moment, then tries to pull his arm back. “Takeda-san? I’m just taking care of this…”

“Yeah, no. I’ll take care of it, because apparently, you can’t even follow simple instructions right.” The check and the woman’s card is snatched from his hand, and as Takeda-san processes the payment, he continues to scold Ichimatsu. It started out just loud enough for him to hear, but now the whole restaurant can hear it. “You just don’t listen, do you? Are you lazy? I get so many complaints about you, it’s unreal! I could just have your brother do your job, and it’d work out better. He actually knows how to smile and be friendly to people.”

When he steps out from the counter toward table 4, Ichimatsu can’t do anything except follow, looking and feeling a little lost. (Actually, what he feelsis two inches tall. This is nothing new and he hates it all the same.) “I’m not paying you to have that resting bitch face, to talk as if a little bit of work and serving people is an inconvenience for you.”

“But it’s not…” he mumbles, quickly looking down to avoid any eye contact his boss might try to give. “I’m trying my best.”

“Well, maybe your best just isn’t good enough, right?”

That sentiment makes Ichimatsu’s heart sink. As much as he gets nervous in social situations, he thought he was doing an okay job no matter what Takeda-san said. All his brothers are proud of him, and proud of each other. It’s not his fault that Takeda-san put him in a department that doesn’t quite mesh with his personality and strengths. “I could… go try being a dishwasher in the kitchen. Maybe I’d be better at that.”

“You’re joking, right? You’re so incompetent, I wouldn’t even trust you with that! If you can’t get the hang of something as simple as smiling, you’re a lost cause at any job!” Takeda-san sets the check tray back down on the table so that the customers can take their card and receipt. The action is coupled with a smile that looks so fake, Ichimatsu wonders if Takeda-san knows everyone can see right through it. Totty’s fake smile is better than that, for fuck’s sake. “I apologize for the service you received just now.”

With that, he turns back to Ichimatsu. “Listen, if you’re not more happy and welcoming by tomorrow, Ichimatsu, I’m going to have to let you go. If you can’t follow orders, there’s no place for you here.”

The woman in the booth, now trying to calm the clearly overstimulated child who’s still attempting to hide his face in her side, looks up at Takeda-san with a confused expression. “H-hey, what do you mean? There’s nothing to apologize for. He was just fine.”

Before she or Takeda-san can say anything else, suddenly Osomatsu is walking over from the bar area ― looking angry, with Choromatsu still behind the counter wearing an expression of shock. “You can’t fire him just for not smiling and shit! He’s not giving bad service; people just think they’re allowed to be jerks because he didn’t bend over backwards to be a happy robot for ‘em!”

Takeda-san’s face contorts in displeasure, even though he’s never had any issues with Osomatsu before. “Osomatsu, get back to your station. This isn’t any of your business.”

“Are you kidding me?! You’re being a dick to my baby brother, that’s the definition of my business! You’re mad ‘cause he doesn’t force himself to smile and he doesn’t talk all peppy, but he doesn’t need to do any of that to be good at his job! That’s just how he is!”

Takeda-san is having none of it. “Well, I hate to tell you this, but if that’s just how he is, then he’s not going to be here much longer, and I’d be surprised if he could find a job anywhere else.”

By this point, Totty is far beyond done serving his table and has gravitated toward the scene. “Hey, that’s not fair! Ichimatsu-nii-san is doing a great job. Whoever’s complaining about him probably just wanted something to complain about in the first place. I mean, didn’t you see how he noticed my hands were full so he came to take care of this table? He could have just ignored it and let me deal with it, but he was trying to take care of our customers.”

Ichimatsu shakes his head and takes a step back. “Hey… it’s okay. Osomatsu, Totty, don’t worry about it… if I get fired, then…”

“Ah, no!” Osomatsu reaches up, taking his uniform tie off before tossing it in Takeda-san’s direction. “You’re not gonna get fired, because you know what? We all quit! You’re not gonna treat one of us like crap and expect the rest of us to just be okay with it! Ichimatsu’s a good worker, and if you’re gonna fire him just because he’s not super smiley, then you don’t deserve any of us!”

He storms over and takes Ichimatsu’s hand. Despite feeling a little embarrassed by the scene, Ichimatsu can’t stop himself from shuffling closer to his oldest brother’s protective presence. “We’re outta here, Ichimacchan.” He turns his head toward the bar area. “Choromatsu, let’s go!”

As Choromatsu scurries over, giving stammered apologies to the customers he’s just served at the bar, Osomatsu marches himself and Ichimatsu toward the kitchen doors. “Karamatsu! Jyushimatsu!”

Both of them poke their heads out of the kitchen; it looks like the two of them are covered in flour from whatever they’ve been working on. “Ahahah, what’s up, Osomatsu-nii-san??”

“C’mon, we quit our jobs.” Osomatsu gestures for them to get over here with his free hand. “Takeda-san thinks Ichimatsu not smiling and talking in his normal voice is worth firing him over. So we’re all leaving.”

Karamatsu and Jyushimatsu’s aprons, along with Totty’s apron and Choromatsu’s tie, are thrown at the manager’s feet. “I suppose it was inevitable,” Karamatsu sighs dramatically, draping an arm over Ichimatsu’s shoulders. “We were never destined to stay in one place of employment forever. So as the winds of change blow, so must we be carried with them.”

Ichimatsu manages a soft chuckle, though a smile doesn’t come with it. “Ow… painful…” But he turns his head in against Karamatsu’s shoulder anyway, thankful for one more wall of protection.

“You lazy NEETs have been here for a week!” Takeda-san hisses. “Good luck if you think you’re getting a reference from me! If this is all it takes for you to walk out of a job, none of you will ever amount to anything!”

Jyushimatsu hurries behind Ichimatsu to ‘guard’ him from that direction, throwing his arms around Ichimatsu’s middle. “We will so, because we stick together! Ichimatsu-nii-san deserves a nicer boss than you, anyway!”

“L-let’s just get out of here, can we?” Choromatsu mumbles, hurrying up to join Osomatsu’s other side. “Sorry, Takeda-san, b-but… but you treating Ichimatsu like that is… r-really out of line. We can find somewhere else to work.”

Osomatsu scoffs and starts the walk out. “Yeah, that’s right! We can find a better place to work, and we don’t give a shit about your reference. But as for you, good luck not shutting down during the dinner rush when you just lost two-thirds of your evening employees because you decided to be an ass!”

Nothing more really needs to be said, so the six of them are out the door.

It’s already dark outside, and when Totty shivers, Ichimatsu immediately pulls him in for a hug. The youngest sighs as he cuddles into his big brother. “What a night. I didn’t know he was that bad… you don’t talk to your staff like that in front of customers!”

“You don’t talk to them like that ever,” Osomatsu huffs.

“Well, yeah, true. But definitely not where customers can hear you. Double bad boss points.”

Choromatsu frowns, patting Osomatsu’s shoulder in an attempt to calm him down. “What’s his problem, anyway? S-sure, Ichimatsu isn’t Totty levels of friendly and sociable, but he was giving pretty good service.”

Ichimatsu continues to try and hide against Karamatsu’s shoulder, earning a deep chuckle and a tighter embrace from his older brother. “You guys didn’t have to do that…”

“You didn’t even like that job,” Jyushimatsu hums. “He should have switched you and me, but he was being stubborn and mean! We’ll find an even better job. Maybe you can be an official kitty-petter! That’s a thing, right?”

This time when Ichimatsu laughs, his lips quirk upward a little. “I wish.”

A small part of him hates that just because of his own incompatibility with the job, his brothers all don’t have jobs now either. But… he sort of gets where they’re coming from, why they quit with him, because he wouldn’t want to work for someone who treated one of his brothers the way Takeda-san treated him.

The six of them stand there in the chilly night air for a moment, then the restaurant door opens.

It’s the family from table 4, with the man holding the little girl and the woman holding the little boy. As soon as they see the sextuplets, the woman’s face lights up and she races over toward them. “Oh, my God, I was hoping you guys hadn’t left yet! That manager… what kind of person treats other people like that??”

Ichimatsu stiffens up a little, shifting his eyes down. “Uh… I’m sorry.”

“For what? That was him being a horrible person, not you.” She shifts her child around for a moment to fish in her pocket, and Ichimatsu notices that the little boy seems to be avoiding eye contact the same way he knows he does. When the woman looks back up, her smile softens. “I don’t mean to pry, hon, but… are you, you know… autistic?”

Ichimatsu lets out a quiet hum and nods. “Yeah. I think that’s why I’m not…”

“Super expressive?” She returns the nod, gently bouncing her child. “This little one’s autistic too. His face doesn’t get that expressive either, and I know when someone tells him to smile or cry or ‘talk normal’, I get so mad. People shouldn’t treat each other like that. There’s no reason to just not be nice.”

Her other hand reaches out to him, pressing several bills into his palm. “Here, you deserve a little something extra after having to put up with that crap. I know it doesn’t make it okay, but… I hope the rest of your night gets better.” Her smile turns brighter as she looks toward everyone else. “And hey, if nothing else, there are a bunch of people who wanna stand up for you. Looks like you’ve got some pretty great brothers.”

Ichimatsu glances from the money toward his brothers, then back to the woman. For once, he manages a small smile of gratitude; it’s not big, but it’s noticeable, and the fact that it’s there means he didn’t have to force it. It’s real. “… Uh. Yeah. Thank you. I… hope you guys have a good night, too.”

A moment later, the young family has disappeared, presumably heading home to let their son decompress from the overstimulation. It was… nice of them to stop and say anything at all.

Everyone is silent for a moment, then Osomatsu grins as he ruffles Ichimatsu’s hair. “Alright! Drinks are on Ichimacchan! Let’s go get some beers, then we’ll find better jobs tomorrow!”

The group seems in agreement, so off they go down the street toward the nearest bar. Although Takeda-san’s words and treatment are probably going to stay with Ichimatsu for a while yet, he can shove them away with the memory of how fiercely his family defended him.

… I do have some pretty great brothers, don’t I?