#idk whether to be concerned or not
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can i be honest and say that i think if cheng xiaoshi and lu guang were at least willing to admit that they were looking for someone related to cheng xiaoshi (not even having to specify cheng weimin, just say they were looking for a family member that disappeared years ago) ppl would be a lot more willing to at least explain what’s going on? and also would be less hostile??
#like idk i feel like at least xia fei would have some sort of sympathy if he heard that cxs was looking for his dad#regardless of whether or not he knew it was cheng weimin#like ik he’s had the shocked look when cheng weimin was mentioned but. like.#it seems like he would understand that cxs isn’t really related to anything cheng weimin may have done?#like i feel like at worst xf would make up something abt cheng weimin in order to not hurt cxs#and honestly i feel the same for vein tbh#like we know vein is a freak but his main concern was that they were involved in a situation regarding the bahati school#which. cxs and lg weren’t. it’s literally just that cxs is looking for his dad who happened to work there#like i feel like the characters are at least smart enough to realize that cxs would have nothing to do with the bahati fire#and that cxs looking for cheng weimin is purely because he’s looking for his lost parents and. again. has nothing to do with bahati#link click#sorry i’m tired maybe i misread it
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So I have had a ridiculous amount of fun this last week plushifying art and throwing my usual crafting rules out the window as I did so*, and I think I want to make plushifying art a more regular thing? I'm not sure how best to do that, though. Should I make a post that's like "reblog this if you want your art turned into plushies", or "reblog this with links to art you want turned into plushies" or suggest a tag that people can add to art they want plushified, and then I go through the tag when I want to make some plushies? *no paper patterns, just drawing directly on the fabric so each plushie is one of a kind
#the person behind the yarn#I can't guarantee I'll make all of them#some things are harder to plushify than others#whether for skill level concerns or 3D object concerns or just don't have that fabric concerns#(for the life of me I haven't been able to find purple faux fur)#also when I plushify art the artist always gets first dibs on the plushie#and I am almost always more than happy to send the artist the plushies#either in exchange for an art trade#or if no trade I usually just ask if they are willing to cover the cost of shipping?#if it's got some bought-for-that-project supplies I miiiight ask if they're willing to cover that specific cost#but that would be like. if I had to buy beads and used them all up making the thing#and maybe for more labor intensive plushies??? idk how detailed some of these might be#most of the time it's either art trades or the cost of shipping
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since we all appear to be talking about izzy 'calling the police' on stede id like to offer my silly little two cents:
its not like the navy wasn't actively looking for him anyway??????
at most, izzys actions sped up badminton catching up with stede, but its made very clear that badminton wanted Stede dead well before this, and was willing to use whatever he could to find him- whos to say jackie wouldnt have cut a deal on her own? that any other pirate thats seen them being unsubtle in a port wouldn't take the opportunity to make a quick buck over a guy who is Nobody and holds no influence that could lead to any consequences for them?
in reality izzy is probably the only person who would receive negative repercussions to selling out stede, given his personal connection with ed- any other pirate would probably have gotten away unscathed, anonymous. they likely wouldnt have even been present like izzy was. izzy had personal stakes, anyone else would have taken the money and ran
the way i see it, with or without izzy the events of episode 10 probably would have happened in some degree, izzy just expedited the timeline
#like ok. i dont exactly support izzys actions but i honestly dont see it as that big of a deal??? to our characters i mean#idk i just. its a dick move!! but i struggle to see it as any more than that#its the actions of a desperate man who made a stupid decision to get his.... ed. out of what he saw as a bad situation#whether it is or not i cant say! but you cant deny ed drastically changed in the time he was on the revenge#in a way that could be concerning from the outside#(i saw a good post kinda comparing it to your friend ending up in a cult and. yeah. excellent description from an outside perspective)#idk theres a lot of. undertones in the way people say 'calling the police' and also they always say ed too and its like. no! izzy tried to#get ed out of there! he set the navy on everyone BUT ed. and its not like the navy really cared about the crew. only stede#i am not the person to talk about why 'calling the cops' is a bad take but the posts are out there. ive seen them.#izzy did what hundreds of pirates did to save their own hide- including hornigold himself (but honestly that was worse because he actively#turned hunter. not just a guy with a tip)#also side historic note that uhh. the navy was casually in Nassau. what exactly was the situation there??? was shit occurring. w#we know it did in history#idk#nyxtalks#ofmd#izzy hands#israel hands#spanish jackie 🤝 izzy: girlbosses for selling stede out to the British/Spanish for their own gain#idk i think thats the one thing he did 'wrong' but ita still very sympathetic to me#its not like izzy dibbed in a guy nobody cared about#'hey hey ill sell you information about this pirate please let me sell you information' ' i mean i guess we are supposed to be doing that'#badminton had an active vendetta against stede and kinda seemed like. he would stop at nothing to get him???#given. the whole 'id rather let blackbeard go and kill Stede than take a huge pirate into custody' thing
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i think trying to explain my gender would break taash's brain actually
#my gender is lesbian because like#the specific way i experience it is inherently informed by my lesbianism and also does not fit with the binary definition of woman#so like nonbinary but still a woman? idk i don't really get it either but other lesbians know what i mean#people who think of nb as a third gender only never do though so i just let people think what they want idc#as far as taash is concerned i think they'd be lost immediately#literally just because they're taking notes on whether nonbinary should have a dash or not. they're not ready for all that#whatever shoutout taash for forcing me to think about this confusing shit
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Internet: so there's a MARVEL TAROT DECK COMING SOON Me: YESSSS, so can I see a lil of the inside before pre-ordering? Internet: ...it's a MARVEL TAROT DECK Me: you mean... I can't even see inside? What type of art is it? Internet: it's a MARVEL TAROT DECK Me: that answers nothing Internet: all you need to know is it's a MARVEL TAROT DECK Me: do you have ANYTHING to say besides 'it's a marvel tarot deck'? Internet: ...it's a- Me: just sit down, jfc
#why would you not have SOME preview of what's inside#I NEED TO KNOW WHAT CARD MATT IS#IF HE'S THE WRONG CARD I DON'T WANT IT#i need to know if it's a PIP DECK#i need to know the ART STYLE because if it's UGLY i do not WANT IT#i need to know if this is just someone randomly slapping in images without concern for symbolic meaning!#SHOW ME THE FUCKING INSIDE#considering i've seen like zero advertisements or things about reviews i may need to *be* the reviewer#with pictures of what's inside and whether it matches up appropriately with the symbolism#i would love to have a good marvel deck because A. duh you know me and B. I love tarot for writing so#having a marvel deck for TRT tarot construction would be hilarious#idk. got a few weeks and then I'll consider going for it
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I'll say that for as much as I don't care to ~debate~ about the Cloud/Tifa/Aerith love triangle, I think some people tend to act like the love triangle existing at all is like, some sort of mistake and not a core component of the narrative.
#idk I just saw a tweet that was like#''I love remake but I hate how it feeds into ship drama by creating situations where you have to choose between Aerith and Tifa''#like I dunno man maybe they did that on purpose#maybe they weren't thinking about ''ship drama'' at all and were instead thinking about the actual drama of the story#bc yeah I dislike a lot of love triangles in fiction too#but some of them have reasons to exist and are good#whether or not that makes the fandom unbearable should not be the writers concern imo#rambling
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shout out to stan for being accidentally written as the only decent human being in the entire fic
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#idk he seems to be better than butters atp#im actually deciding whether to give stan the shine a light reprise bad ending iykwim cause im stuck for characters to kill off#do you know what i am saying? (/ref lol)#but errr okay so if you’ll ignore the fact that this post turned into me just thinking aloud and go with me here#so i don’t wanna have characters that are like exactly kurt and ram so instead im just gonna have kurt/ram adjacent characters who kenny#kills for a *different* reason so just being an ass to butters in general i guess idk#idk i’ll think of something bad for them to do after i think of the characters#which leads me onto what i was gonna say in the sense that i really don’t know who those characters should be#i was thinking craig and maybe clyde cause like idk ive already written craig to be a dick and ooooooh hang on go with me here#so i’ve already thought maybe i won’t set it in 1989 so i’ll probably go with modern day make tweek and craig canon yay and then in the#suicide pact between him and clyde i’ll say kenny came up with the idea of making it look like craig cheated and because of the “ich lüge”#bullets when he “wakes up” it’ll cause drama between him and tweek or whatever#something like that obviously the idea isn’t fully fleshed out but yeah that could work#this is going to look so concerning if you follow me for south park but haven’t seen heathers rip bro
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Actually, on the topic of the baby fever. God it's so frustrating. Bc when I was like 14 ish I was Adamant that I never ever wanted kids. And my dad said smth around the lines of "that'll likely change" (probably from his own experience with this) and I was like NO. it WONT.
And then eventually, age 21-22 ish, I admitted that Okay, I still don't want to have my own kids, but someday maybe I'll adopt...
And Now, 27 years old, I got the general baby fever on occasion. It Did fucking change. And I don't know if I actually WILL bother with having my own kid (I still don't want to go through the hassle and massive body changes). But god. I do see a fucking baby and feel that stab of longing. It's almost like my damned hormones betrayed me or smth. Maddening!
I shall simply write fanfic about it.
#speculation nation#pregnancy ment/#honestly though i hadnt felt the wish to have my own until after my dad died#and i realized just how small our family is getting. and just felt this stab of NEED. to continue the line. continue the family.#my family's fucking dying around me i need to add to it. need more family. yknow?#so i dont actually know if this is. because of hormones or because of grief or What#but it was enough for me to put the hysterectomy idea on hold. bc id been genuinely considering it back in like. april? or so.#but then this happened and now im like. fuck dude. i dont know. but the uncertainty's enough to keep me from doing it.#yeah i dont wanna deal with periods anymore. but also. i need more time to decide.#i think no matter what i do want to raise kids someday. once im more stable (financially and emotionally)#but whether thats adoption or putting myself thru fuckin body torture. well i'll just have to decide. later.#maybe the deciding factor will be my own body aging lol. if i wait too long. my body will decide for me. who knows!#i Have thought about what id do if i got accidentally pregnant. especially relevant back when i was sleeping with a trans woman#and used to be id abort no hesitation. but well. i mean abortions illegal here anyways rn so id have to go to another state#but if i decided it i could make it work. it's not That far of a trip.#but. when i thought about it. the concern was less about the theoretical baby. and more about finishing school.#thinking 'man itd be fucking awful to finish school if i got pregnant right now'. but not. hesitating over the baby.#if i was out of school and relatively stable and i got accidentally pregnant. then. well. Maybe.#so me doing my dad vash au where he gets accidentally pregnant and goes all in with it#thats me. sorting out my feelings on it i guess. putting them somewhere.#idk. it's a lot to think about. i dont want to condemn a child to my genetic problems. but at the same time...#i dont know. To Be Decided Later.
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oops I forgot to mention that uhh the new wand is done!! it’s been finished for a while tbh, I just procrastinated on gluing it all back together and taking a semi-decent pic. there’s only a couple key changes I made - re-doing it so it has the zig-zag bend ofc and coating the copper base part so it doesn’t tarnish and stays shiny :)
anyway THIS is as close to canon as I can make it!! I’m glad it’s done and I’m very proud of it but also I am never doing this again lol
here are the main ref pics I based it on for comparison:
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and here are some closeups of what the gem looks like when light hits it bc it’s so pretty
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(how obvious is it that it’s just living as a paperweight on my desk between cons)
#hilda the series#Hilda netflix#Hilda kaisa#Hilda the librarian#wand#cosplay#post tag#ignore my weird hands#thanks ppl who expressed concern for my well-being on the last post I can’t honestly say u were wrong#I feel like I should mention that a part of why I re-did it was bc I already knew I was gonna have to dismantle and change some stuff#after the 1st con#mainly the copper thing and also I needed to re-glue the gem on anyway bc it turns out superglue does not cut it and the gem started#unscrewing itself halfway through the day lol#anyway I had Reasons#y’all can decide for yourselves whether this reflects on my sanity better or worse#ALSO idk maybe I’ll add on and talk abt how I made it if only bc I need to boost the seller who made the gem for me#I was really struggling for that part and they totally saved me#and it’s so prettyy gem go brr ✨
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me: i'm worried about my friends and coworkers
them: being tr*mpies?
me: no. being deported
#it's crazy to me that liberals stress over the Bad people who voted for tr*mp#instead of being concerned about the people it's affecting the most#yeah we get it they're evil or whatever but tr*mp was going to win whether your stupid neighbor voted or not. the people in power decided#idk maybe i just have different priorities#jazzums jabbers
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Honestly I think its mad funny that in the Shuro/Laios au Laios’ Party think it was HIS idea. Like wait till they find out this was from Shuro like that Laios’ proximity chart about to be a family staple passed down from generation to generation, lovingly given to his fiancee.
AJABSBDBXBX 😭😭😭😭 all trust in shuro absolutely fucking lost like how could they ever have thought he was a Reasonable guy... in his defense maizuru is the one that came up with it and he's a pushover and couldn't put a stop to it fast enough. i feel like it would definitely make him more likeable to marcille tho lmao, like 1) no longer attempting to court falin but also 2) Ah, so you too have been influenced by laios....
#laios would insist that he didnt come up with it and that it was shuro/maizuru and theyre like Riiight 🙄 and pigs fly#and then they find out its true........#theyd still be like Why did u go along with this dude but i guess it would look really bad for shuro#if laios rebuffed him. i think laios would be aware of this somewhat. but also shuro is his friend =(#shuro probably is really apologetic about it and promises to sort it out dont worry im not gonna force u to marry me#just go along with it for a bit. and laios goes ok =)#theres two ways this goes. it concerns whether or not news gets out that laios and shuro are to be wed#becos like. idk if politically they want it to get out that theyre courting?#so either its kept on the down low OR it spreads. either becos shuros dad announces it#or becos they Try to keep it on the down low but rumors arnd laios get around fast#and suddenly theyre actually in hot water and have to consider what theyre doing#and shuro freaks out and they have the heart to heart on whether shuro even Wants to succeed the family#and maybe. maybe laios just goes. well. why not get married#anon#ask
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I’m sorry if my question has like a very obvious answer (that I obliviously failed to pick-up on, while reading your marvelous story), but what exactly did Pete mean when he said that Goose was his first?
its so funny you ask this cause I was just writing something about this yesterday. No there’s not really an obvious answer because i was trying to keep it intentionally vague. I feel like (tho i have my own thoughts) outright saying anything too bold about Mav & Gooses relationship is… idk it feels kind of morally questionable to commit to paper because of how it positions carole. Carole is already SUCH a tragic figure in both movies (and in the fic i wrote): she lost everything, she is to blame for the emotional turmoil of TGM, and yet she gets written out of the narrative (FRIDGED!!!) & is never given a chance to explain herself. She has no agency in the story anyway, she is literally just a scapegoat. So no matter whether Goose was the first man Mav ever slept with, or Goose was the first man Mav ever loved (both of which are 100% valid readings, and both of which would’ve still occurred during Goose & Carole’s relationship), it’s still CAROLE who’s getting fucked over here. AGAIN.
(Also? I have no idea if I’ve been reading this scene wrong this whole time, but the whole “Goose, even you could get laid in a place like this” / “I’d be happy to find a girl who’d talk dirty to me” feels… not good. Feels bad. And the $20 bet—are they both partaking in that? Isn’t that how bets work? Whoever gets an on-the-premises lay first gets $20? Or is he just betting MAV can’t get laid? Bet aside, I don’t know—the whole thing just makes me sad on Carole’s behalf. She is 100% the most tragic character in the franchise already, this casual “wish i were with a girl who’d talk dirty to me” just makes it worse)
But Goose was definitely Mav’s first SOMETHING. Even canon-goose knows mav isn’t straight (“of a lady this time”). I was kind of trying to insinuate that my Mav confessed he was in love with/at the very least LOVED Goose to Charlie, and that’s part of the reason she left (“Of course I loved him, of course” / “He didn’t know who he was and neither did she”) but yeah there’s no easy answer. Up to you. Do with all that info what you will.
#both canon and my fics are just ‘mav & ice fucking over the bradshaw family in increasingly creative ways’#idk i do feel like people in this fandom gloss over the weirdness of the o-club scene a little#to further the agenda of goose as the perfect do-no-wrong devoted husband idk#like im not sure if im taking that scene out of proportion but it’s not that simple#he’s clearly a better man than maverick but he’s still a man in the navy in 1986 just saying#pete maverick mitchell#top gun#nick goose bradshaw#whether mav had an accidental one night stand with goose (as is my very quiet reluctant hc) or actually loved him#it’s all just more reason for him to feel guilty#to kill goose & then fall in love with the guy you killed him with…i wouldn’t want to talk about that either#& would give mav more of a reason to acquiesce to Carole’s request to pull B’s papers#> slept w/ her husband then killed him then ‘stole tom Kazansky from under her nose’#yeah he probably feels pretty guilty where she’s concerned#what’s the mavgoose ship name#moose?
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I really need Trystan and MC to outright address the parallels between Trystan navigating the emotions of finding out Juliana was in love with another Thorne and MC navigating the emotions of watching Trystan grieve, reminisce on, and relive his relationship with Juliana. If not for the good of the story, then for me because realistically I’m too insecure to handle having a S.O. with a dead lover 😭
#choices CoP#choices crimes of passion#choices trystan#choices stories you play#playchoices#idk how MC does it#I just want her and Trystan to talk already#everybody else is concerned with whether MC will ultimately end up staying in Drakovia or leaving Trystan behind to go back to work#meanwhile I just need to know that my baby girl is okay#cuz lbr we all know things will work out in the end and Trystan and MC will end up staying together somehow#but in the meantime I need how painful it is to 1) watch your SO have to deal with grief in this way#and 2) maybe feel like you’ll never live up to their previous relationship or that you’re living in their shadow —#to be addressed#reassure me Trystan that’s all I ask 😭#choices#choices app
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trying to go to sleep and instead learning that i may be having (infrequent?) heart palpitations
... for no reason. Hmmm.
#100% секретный дневник левы НЕ ЧИТАЙ#i looked it up this time because it was like. not just a small amount?#this was at LEAST a solid second or two and it freaked me out cause thats ... less normal.#idk whether or not to try and go back to sleep now ......#oh also it happened While i was eyes closed sleepmode brain quieting down and everything#just to add to why its concerning lol
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bro if your comfort character is H*melander you need a therapist
#sorry I just saw something i'm djhskjhfjkhjsgejhgrf#idk whether to laugh or cry#it's funny but also concerning skjshsjkhdkjhjkf#chatter
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i saw her friend today and in a way i think it really ehlped cuz she was the one who was being so kind and like 'how are you doing i know this must be hard but i still want to be friends' and it really touched me cuz iw as stressed cuz i was paranoid they were talking shit about me or smth. she also told me she was also shocked when she found out that she broke up w me so i guess it feels good knowing im not the only person kept in the dark i guess but its like if its something she couldnt even tell her friends about then what made her do it. cuz when i asekd her friend 'did she ever seem concnerd about the relationship or anything' her friend was like 'no.... not.... not really?' which idk if i fully believe but i dont think she was totally lying cuz she did seem to at least consider it. so if she wawsnt lying then i still dont understand what compelled her to dump me
#and i mean this is a friend shes CLOSE with. like super close with#and yeah there is the possibility shes lying just to keep her privacy which i understand but still like the fact even she was shocked when#she found out she dumped me ?? like that has to mean something#however when i asked 'how is she doing' her friend was like 'shes alright' and idk why but that kinda hurt#and idk if she was just saying it cuz maybe she thought it would make me feel better or if she didnt want to give too many details#or if she really truly was doing 'all right' but like what the fuck do you mean shes doing alright#like am i seriously sobbing on 1am walks around campus because i miss her and shes just doing alright????#like what the fuck#i really hope its mor ethan that because thats actually goign to break me#hres teh thing though like i dont doubt that she felt some sort of emotion cuz she was crying when we broke up and our entire relationship#she was so genuine about all of it but its also that annoying part of me thats like did she ever care#because how was she the one to tell me she wanted a relatoinship with me and how was she the one to tell me 'i love you first'#only to dump me not even 5 months later??? i just dont fucking understand any of it#im so fuckign confused about it all#all i can even hope for is that somehow she realizes she messed up and comes back to me and ill take her back immediately man#but she dosnt seem the kind to do that#i just wish i understood why she didnt want to give us even a CHANCE to fix whatever issues she thought we were havign#CUZ SHE NEVER EVEN SAID ANYTHING ABOUT ANY ISSUES!!!! SO I DONT UNDERSTAND#LIKE SHE BROKE UP W ME OUT OF THE BLUE!!!! NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO ANYONE???#unless her friend is lying when i asked about whether she seemed concerned#but still
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