#idk what's the point to this I'm just thinking about him

[wethotcrazy]

CAN'T CONTROL IT

pairing: Franco Colapinto x Fem! Driver! Reader

word count: 739

just something a little short and sweet for franco colapinto. also i think the can't control their mouth and can't control their face would suit him well?! idk bro

The F1 social media team had a new favorite hobby: catching YN's reactions to everything Franco Colapinto did.

It started during pre-season testing in Bahrain. Franco, fresh in his Williams racing suit, had spun on his installation lap – a rookie mistake that had the paddock chuckling. The TV director, whether by instinct or divine intervention, cut immediately to YN in the Alpine garage.

Her expression was poetry in motion: eyes rolling skyward, lips pressed together to suppress a smile, followed by a head shake that somehow conveyed both "I can't believe this" and "that's my idiot" in one fluid movement.

The clip went viral within hours.

"Have you seen this?" Franco bounded into the Alpine hospitality area, phone already extended. "'Every Time YN Dies Inside Watching Franco Colapinto: Testing Edition' – they even put sad violin music over your faces!"

YN didn't need to look. She'd already seen the compilation – a masterfully edited collection of her various reactions to Franco's testing adventures. Her personal favorite was the slow-motion zoom on her face when he'd described his first F1 car as "spicy."

"I'm starting to think you do these things on purpose," she muttered, but her treacherous face was already softening at his enthusiasm.

"Maybe I just like seeing your reactions," he winked, dropping into the seat beside her. "Remember in F3 when you said your face wasn't that expressive?"

"Remember in F2 when you said you'd learned to think before speaking?"

His laugh echoed through the hospitality area. "Some things never change, no?"

The Australian GP brought new material for the ever-growing collection of "YN Can't Control Her Face" content. As Alpine's reserve driver, she was in the garage when Franco scored his first F1 points – a remarkable P8 in a chaotic race.

His radio message was pure, unfiltered Franco: "P8! P8! YN, are you watching? Better than that time in F2 when you said I'd never score points because I was too busy talking!"

The cameras found her instantly: pride blooming across her features before she could school them into professional neutrality.

"Every time they show your face, the comments explode," Esteban teased later. "I think you've got more screen time than some of the actual drivers."

YN groaned. "Don't remind me. Someone made a TikTok trend out of my different 'Franco Reactions.'"

"At least you're not 'Can't Control His Mouth' Colapinto," Pierre chimed in. "Did you hear him in the press pen? He spent five minutes explaining how you once bet him he couldn't qualify top 10 without talking on team radio."

"Did he mention he lost that bet?"

"No, but your face when they asked you about it said everything."

Monaco was where things reached new heights. Franco, running in P6 during practice, had been providing commentary that somehow always circled back to YN:

"YN's watching, no? Tell her this is how you take the hairpin properly—" Franco spoke through team radio confidently before scraping through the hairpin.  "Ah. Maybe not like that."

The camera cuts to YN's perfect face-palm, followed by a head shake that somehow conveyed both "I knew it" and "why am I even surprised" in one swift motion.

The resulting clip went viral on Tiktok and became F1's most-watched social media post of the weekend.

"You know what I think?" Franco asked one evening, as they shared takeaway in the quiet of the paddock after everyone else had left. The cameras were finally off, but YN's face was as expressive as ever in the dim light.

"That's a dangerous start to any conversation with you."

He grinned, nudging her shoulder. "I think you like that I can't control my mouth."

"And what makes you say that?" she asked, trying and failing to keep her expression neutral.

"Because every time I talk about you, you make this face – like you're trying not to smile but can't help it. It's my favorite one."

"I do not have a special face for when you talk about me."

"Si, you do! You're making it right now!"

She threw a napkin at him, but her smile – soft and genuine and completely uncontrolled – gave her away.

The next day, during the drivers' briefing, Alex caught Franco staring at YN with an expression that mirrored all of hers – soft and fond and entirely unguarded.

The photo went viral with the caption: "Looks like neither of them can control anything anymore 💕"

[somestarsburntoobrightly]

I love when this post comes around again.

Also, I visit Quebec often and my french is ABYSMAL. I can read it fine, and kinda understand others a bit if they talk slow enough, but actually saying the words? Forget it.

Still some people are aholes about it but a lot of people will do their best to try to work with you. Or better yet: teach you. So when I say I died laughing at the 'un sac' story it's because it is one of the only things in french that I will always know how to say and never forget the meaning of because that many cashiers have explained it to me.

Also one time I was trying to find ice and I went around the grocery at least 5 times trying to find it. No dice. So, I approached an employee. First one french only, second one french only and I don't know why I didn't just pull out my phone and show them the french word, but they knew I needed help so they went and got a third employee...also no english so idk what any of us were thinking that day. At this point though, I'm desperate and my Spanish is miles better then my french so I say "¿Hablas Español?".

Ladies and gentleman, he was so excited I'd asked. I was so excited this was going to work out. Neither of us were fluent but I was confident we'd do okay.

He says "¿Que estás buscando?" I say "Estoy buscando-" and I could not for the life of me remember the word for ice. I know I know this word for absolute certain but cannot for the life of me remember it. So I said "lo siento... no recuerdo la palabra...uhhhhhh. Oh! Helado sin leche"(Ice cream no milk).

Blank stare, because yeah that was not the most clear. So I tried again "uhhhh...agua está frio. muy, muy, muy frio."

He says "¿Quieres hielo?"

I goddamn facepalmed.

Thanks to his impressive comprehension, he goes into the back and brings me my bag of ice. I thank him profusely, he thanks me for practicing. And now I will never forget that word again.

for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’

[rosenclaws]

ok, ok “suck on my fingers.” and “don’t make a mess, baby.” prompt with the worse wolverine? btw i love your words!!!

warnings: SMUT, MINORS DNI, squirting, fingering, dirty talk, overstimulation, cum eating (kinda? i think thats whats this called idk he just sticks his fingers in ur mouth after fingering)

600 follower drabble masterlist

a/n: I'm gonna be so real I am coping hard rn. I am devastated and worried for the future but if writing wolverine smut is what helps that is what I shall do. I hope you like it!!

How long has it been? Minutes? Hours? Fuck at this point you'd believe that you've been here for days. Wrapped in his arms. Trapped under his adamantium bone and super human strength. The sheets slip through your fingers as your grip grows weaker. Logan has been teasing you, playing with you like a piece of meat.

Logan is upright against the headboard. He’s got your back against his chest. One of strong arms is keeping you upright. Forcing you to sit there. His other hand is shoved into your panties. He didn’t even bother to take them off.

There’s something playing on the TV in your room but you lost any sense of your surroundings about an hour ago. Logan likes to play with his food. Always has.

Your big hot boyfriend loves to make a mess of things before he eats.

“Oh Fuck Logannnn.” You whine as he slips two of his fingers into your already soaked cunt.

Your panties are soaked from Logan’s touch. He won’t even bother taking them off. He likes the obscene sight of his hands down them. Loves seeing his fingers disappear and watch your cute face scrunch up in pleasure.

You’re trying with all your might to squirm away. Not that you wanted him to stop but the pleasure was overwhelming. Your body was moving without your brain at this point. Pure instinct. Logan growls in your ear. Shoving another finger inside to shut you up.

“Quiet. I’m not done with you yet.” You tilt your neck to the side as Logan’s rough thumb starts to circle your clit harshly.

The sounds of your pleasure are loud and Logan is unashamedly eating them up. His fingers movie faster and faster. Pounding into you with a force that makes you scream. Your dripping down his hands and onto the sheets. Logan tuts and shakes his head mockingly.

“Don’t make a mess baby.” He scolds as he drives his fucking fingers deep inside of you. Fucking liar. He loves when you make a mess. Nothing boosts his ego more.

He feels so good. His fingers are tearing you apart. He’s hell bent on making you come harder than you ever have. He can never get enough. It's like a competition with himself. Making sure you know only he can do this to you over and over. A pressure builds deep in your core and your eyes widen when you feel a certain feeling.

“Logan wait I-“ Your pleas are silenced as another moan rips through your throat.

You chant his name over and over as your legs start to shake. Logan watches in awe as you squirt all over the bed. He doesn't let up as he pulls as much as he can. You're moaning only pushes him further. He's whispering dirty things in your ear but you can barely hear him. Your body is screaming in pure pleasure and its all you can hear.

"Too much." You manage to whimper out as Logan continues to fuck his fingers into you.

He hums and in a moment of mercy decides you've had enough for tonight. Such a good pet. His fingers are coated. He pulls them apart and smirks as he brings them to your lips.

“Come on, suck on my fingers." He coos as you lazily open your mouth. Your perfect pretty lips surrounding his fingers, sucking your own juices from his fingers.

"Taste yourself, see why I can't get enough of this delicious cunt." His eyes grow dark as he watches your lips take his fingers so easily. You look up with glossy eyes. Completely fucked out because of him.

"Cute." He presses a kiss to your forehead and pulls you closer. His fingers slip out of your mouth and he dips back down into your soaked underwear. You whine when he gently brushes over your sensitive clit.

"Shhh sweetheart," His moves are softer this time, gentle.

"Just relax. Let me get my taste too."

[lovemyromance]

(Not a troll ask please don't shoot :D - genuine question)

But I feel like it's really downplayed how much Gwynriels gaslight the fandom. I joined ACOTAR bc I saw Gwynriel fanart and thought they were cute. I Got all the way to ACOSF still hoping for Gwynriel and got a whole lot of NOTHING. And honestly I think Elain is as interesting as cardboard (sorry), but you'd have to be downright blind to ignore she had something going on with Azriel.

Then I saw on titktok about the bonus chapter, everyone going in saying omg thats where gwyn & az are mates! So I cracked it open, read it - and bruh - HE'S OUT HERE TRYING TO GO DOWN ON ELAIN??

How can you put THAT interaction & the conversation he had with Gwyn side by side and people are walking away from it saying Gwyn & Azriel are mates?

I'm so genuinely confused why someone would start that nonsense. The way I ate up Gwynriel art/fan theories it was like she was a major character there from the start and they'd already had 8 kids and a HEA.

Then I open the books and they barely even have a conversation??

It was honestly really annoying. felt like a scam, like one of those authors peddling their book on social media and then you realize its a wattpadd fic written by a 12 yr old not an actual book

If it helps - we're all confused. Nothing has been proven yet about any remaining couple so idk why the Elucien and Gwynriels are out here straight up inventing fiction and trying to pass it off as fact to anyone willing (and even unwilling) to listen.

This ship war could've just been - "Hey I like Elucien more!" Or "I love elriel!"

But instead of just accepting these are all opinions and not actually what is in the books - people decided to straight up gaslight and claim that Elucien are a couple and Gwynriel are mates.

If you cannot point to it on the page where such a thing it explicitly happened - then it is not canon.

Lucien & Elain? They're mates. That's canon.

What's also canon - is that not all mates are a good pairing and end up happy together.

Whats also canon - is that the cauldron was wrong.

It shouldn't be hard to reach accurate conclusions if people stopped treating their wants and headcanons as fact.

Like for gods sake - let's just look at fanart. I'm not saying that every piece of fanart is canon or even should be canon - but elriel has much more canon fanart. Thats literally a fact. They have multiple major moments together - on the page.

What is canon Elucien fanart? When she falls out the cauldron - naked and humiliated and he gives her his cloak? When they sit together over a tea service acting uncomfortable? When she avoids him every other time she sees him?

What is canon Gwynriel fanart? When he gives her boss a secondhand necklace to give to her or anyone else? When he - and cassian and everyone else - watch her cut a ribbon she sees as an enemy?

I've seen so many people open up these books expecting some grand romance between Elain & Lucien and end up disappointed because... she doesn't even want to be in the same room as him.

So many Gwynriels with similar stories to yours expecting some entertaining Gwynriel love story only to also end up disappointed because Gwyn doesn't even exist till the last book and she and Azriel barely interact.

They chose to believe in a nonexistent ship and are trying to compete with canon Elriel evidence. Like ok - tough shit? But you can't just start making shit up.

Until Elain accepts that bond - or even gives Lucien the time of day - they're not a couple. They are nowhere close to endgame if everything she has done and said has shown us she doesn't want him.

Until Azriel himself declares Gwyn is his mate or vice versa - they're not mates.

And yeah I'm gonna get a lot of backlash from the "foreshadowing and crumbs" crowd.

But let me ask you this:

There are some Elriels who think the mating bond between Lucien & Elain is fake. There is plenty of evidence and similar language used about their bond that resembles the fake Rowan & Lyria bond. Plenty of signs showing their bond isn't quite right.

do you think Elriels can then claim it's canon that the Elucien bond is fake?

"We have crumbs and foreshadowing and similar language used" too. But do you see us going around claiming it's canon?

No.

We are very clear about the distinction between canon and headcanons. About what's in the books, and what is just pure guesswork and theory.

"Sparky spark" and "elucien is endgame" are both theories until proven. They are NOT canon.

Wish they'd just learn the difference. They'd be a lot less unhappy fans.

[suusoh]

(pwp or something idk. just got horny in the tags of my last post about eddie not looking anywhere else but at his wife and only his wife while doing his husbandly duties.)

cw: female reader, sex, eddie's orbs, overuse of the word staring because I want you to start feeling annoyed and maim this man, slight yandere (maybe if you squint?) cheesy and unfunny frank valli reference at the end.

———

he's staring at you again.

Eyes fogged with a love sick haze in them at the absolute sight of you, his wife, all warm, soft, and pliant under him. You try to close your eyes from time to time, but even when you open them again— it just comes back to the first thing you see which is this man on top of you, mouth switching between grinning and gasping, and eyes wide open.

"...Eddie?"

He hums tenderly. "What is it, dear?"

"I-I.. can you just-"

It's so hard to talk when his hips don't stop moving despite his concern. The weight and absolute mass of him on top of you and grounding you into the bed with each thrust makes it all the more harder to think straight.

Thoughts on how to sound out your request begin to blur and buzz out with him fucking into you like this. In and out, in and out, inside of you. over and over again as he buries himself deep within your cunt. your pubic bone practically connecting with his, and sending sparks of heat inside your belly with each time he ruts himself into you.

"Just what? What does my darling wife want?" He starts searching your face for any indication or answer to complete it for you what you want him to do now. Still looking at you intensely.

Looking. He keeps looking. Which is, sort of the thing you wanted to point out in the first place.

"You're... o-oh- oh-"

"I...?" he acts as if he's not quite catching on. Pondering for a second with the sounds of your moans and wanton sighs, and the creaking of the worn out bed acting as background noise to aid his thinking.

"Oh! I'm doing a swell job is that it? Is that what you're trying to say, dearest?" he lets out a content loving sigh, and your breathe stutters as he picks up his pace. "You and your words never fail to make me blush, my love."

Another particularly good thrust has you arching your back, of which he's making sure his eyes connect with yours once more while you writhe and wiggle underneath. But your wriggling quickly eases from bodily pleasure, to slowly morphing into a sense of discomfort now.

Because he's staring at you.

Again.

Which should be good isn't it? Eye contact during sex is a sign after all of a good partner paying attention to your needs. And with someone like Eddie, him paying attention to your needs is the tiniest sliver of hope you cling onto to make sure his reason for keeping you alive is a bit more... cemented, substantial even. Gives you a little bit more reason (or delusion) to believe he'd be inclined to make this relationship, make you, last longer.

(Compared to the alternative route of him using your body for his own sick dispositions, and casually stringing you all up when he's done.)

Though you're sure that this is not the type of bedroom eye contact many normally wish for.

"Y-you... you're.." you try to murmur out again.

Not that you should talk about having anything normal with this man. You might as well find the solution to world hunger long before you find anything even remotely "normal" in this place.

It's not that you're expecting him to do things normally, but can't he... can't he just... do something else maybe?

Look anywhere but you for just a split second, maybe bury himself into your neck, or close his own eyes to focus on the feeling of his cock getting squeezed, or look at any other part of your body that could possibly entrance him; mouth, chest, stomach... hell, you could even hope that he tries to glance down at your clit? Maybe marvel at the sight of where the two of you connect, since that's all his fucked up baby fever mind thinks about anyways?

You'll take anything really, just one small thing to act as a reminder that you guys are indeed having... sex— and not engaging in some sort of impromptu staring contest out of nowhere.

Because his eyes are doing absolutely nothing but looking into your own and as they continue staring at you.

and staring at you...

and staring...

and staring...

and staring...

Jesus fucking christ you don't think he's even blinked in the past few seconds anymore.

You let out a mix of a whine and a groan, opting to shut your eyelids close and try to shield your face away from his unmoving eyeballs by trying to wiggle your hands free out of his grasp (him and his damn insistence to hold hands while making love as he calls it.).

"What is it my love? Must I pay you a penny for your thoughts perhaps?"

"You keep staring... "

You try to wiggle free again, inadvertently adding onto the delightful friction between your parts and his— to which he gets a small shiver of his own at the roll of your hips. A light laugh escapes him at your captivating and somewhat fruitless display. He finally gives reprieve to your brain's rising fear of being uncannily perceived at, and blinks.

"Ohhh, my darling."

He lets go of one of your hands so that he can cradle your face, tilting it so he can capture your mouth into a kiss. humming into your mouth, but the humming isn't just the usual sighs of pleasure, as you can pick up the movement of him saying some words.

He pulls apart from his half kissing-half speaking into your mouth, as he slowly begins to playfully laugh again.

"You can't blame a man for looking at his wife when she's like this; all breathless and beautiful, now can you? I sure can't!"

Said wife that he just knows for certain was sent down by god all-mighty himself into the 7th circle of hell named "mount massive asylums".

When Eddie sees you, he can't help but imagine your rotting carcass somewhere else. An alternate place where those filthy bastards could have gotten their hands on you, torn you limb from limb (if they didn't have the patience to pull your teeth and your eyes out first), then have their way with using your dead body as a urinal afterwards.

You must have been scared to not have your dear husband around to protect you from all the nasty violence around the asylum, weren't you darling?

No, no. No meed to fret now and get your panties in a twist! None of that here. Not when your dear ol' Eddie is here now.

You are very much alive and perfect, preserved by your own sheer dumb luck or maybe by fate itself to be kept alive long enough for him. Just him.

And under his care, your body is experiencing the furthest thing from excruciating physical pain right now, isn't it darling? Feels good, yes? To have your husband make love to you like the passionate man he is. Lest he's supposed to take in the sight of you rolling your eyes back and your legs hooking around his waist, pulling him in for more as something otherwise?

Oh goodness him... It's almost too good to be true.

And he really can't take his eyes off of you.

[captain-mj]

I can see who your favorite character is, my love. This post ain't even about him.

Before I get started, just want to say that the characters are multi-dimensional and can therefore be seen in multiple ways. Anyway! To explain my points!!

Yes, GhostGaz is lust. Absolutely. Gaz is one of the few characters that show genuine desire and want for things throughout the series. He smokes, he chats about things casually and also gets excited in Recon by Fire when he has multiple targets that he can snipe. Ghost is inhuman, lone wolf, desiring something he denies himself. Gaz is the most human (Soap stans argue with the wall) of most of the characters, being in my opinion one of the most well fleshed out ones.

They have complimentary personalities and aspects that I believe not only would have them fucking nasty, but also have them drawing towards each other constantly, wanting to be in each other's orbits, touching, etc. Lust also isn't just sex, lust is wanting something tangible in a way that defies God. Something I think the two of them already do very often.

SoapGhost as Greed. NOW HERE ME OUT. Y'all got listen for this one. Do they not get greedy over each other? Alejandro literally says he couldn't imagine calling Ghost Simon and what happened?? Yeah, he was told only Johnny could do it.

More seriously, the two of them constantly try to take more. Soap spend an entire mission trying to get more info out of Ghost about himself for no discernable reason. Ghost teases him, but he also encourages it so they can continue talking, rather than forcibly changing the subject. Soap also wants things. He wants medals, he wants to know more, he wants and wants and Soap is one of the few people that Ghost does show a want to hang out with. He also asks him questions and talks casually with him and presumably sits with him on rides so they can have each other's attention.

PriceGhost as Pride. You see, what I started this conversation, my idea was that I feel Price and Ghost, together, would be more prideful than the other ships. I don't mean this as to say they themselves are prideful, though my wife's explanation of Ghost being a victim of self-glorifying and self-justification (I'm not sure I agree on self-devoting, though that may be because I don't believe Ghost actually talks about his issues that much, even if I use it for plot purposes).

To look deeper at it though, the two of them are some of the highest ranking (though not THE highest ranking) out of the ships. I think Ghost would have a hard time separating Price the Captain from Price the Boyfriend. He wouldn't want to look weak in front of the Captain of his force. For Price, I have similar arguments. It's why I never quite liked PriceGaz, cause I just don't see Price as being able to truly be himself around his inferiors. The two of them wouldn't be able to truly be themselves around each other until they got over their pride. For them, this is more in the fact that Pride is the folly of their relationship. Idk, I just have a lot of thoughts.

You covered AleGhost in more depth than I can but I would argue going after Valeria the way he did was done more in Wrath than Pride, though I understand that with the sins, they intrinsically affect each other and honestly these two (characters and the win itself) parallel each other so much most sins could be put here. But both of them are such angry people at times. I feel like this is one of the few relationships in the list where issues are brought up, rather than allowed to fester.

Ghost ships but they’re themed as the seven deadly sins (PriceGhost is pride)

[ruensroad]

I've been musing a lot on an SVSSS x Inuyasha AU. The obvious angle following the plot formula would lead us to BingQiu (SY), which is very sweet and cute. Half demon meets man from the future, it all fits very very nicely. It even fits with Binghe's past with Shen Jiu, who we all know wouldn't hesitate to pin that beast onto a tree with an arrow at any opportunity, let alone for some priceless artifact.

I'm sure I'm not the first person to see this connection. It really does slot together so so well ;3; However, my JiuYuan lovin' heart wants to be contrary because, really, could you just imagine?

Everything about the plot is pointed to one relationship conclusion. The half demon protagonist meets a person from the future who reminds him of the one who betrayed him, and slowly he heals and finds love. So imagine that, what if, instead of following the plot as he is supposed to, Shen Yuan instead falls head over heels for the nebulous, antagonistic and very unhappily resurrected Shen Jiu?

I don't like sacrificing characters in order to claim a pairing, and indeed I know Binghe could have his pick of other characters to woo. I just love the idea of being contrarian to where a plot would usually go, flipping it on its head, and getting a whole different kind of story out of it.

Shen Yuan, who knows this story, who understands the role each character is meant to play. He is there to support the Protagonist, to be the Love Interest, to be a sidekick and friend. Shen Jiu, once brought back to serve as a recurring spectre to hinder the Hero's path, is meant to deal damage and Drama to Luo Binghe. Shen Yuan shouldn't even really be on his radar, except as a way to further hurt the beast he hates so much.

Love Triangle drama that Shen Yuan decides he'll destroy because if they just stopped being Idiots, a good third of the damn book could be avoided. This involves seeking out the vengeful Shen Jiu and dealing with him on a reasonable level.

Of course, in trying to avoid Drama, he instead gets a fixation. And why not? There's a lot to unpack with this antagonist, and the curiosity could go both ways. After all, Shen Yuan makes no secret that he is from a different world.

I just feel Shen Yuan would shine in such an AU. He gets to travel around and see all different kinds of cool creatures (!!), meet awesome demon hunters (LQG!!!), and other demons both good and bad. And Shen Jiu wouldn't just suffer in his role, forever lost to his hate and rage. Here's someone making a connection, making an effort for him, finding worth in surviving this hell he did not ask for.

Shen Jiu being that anti-hero that doesn't help the Protagonist, but will come and help that silly sidekick of his, arriving stylishly when there's trouble, when Binghe is distracted, and realizing he can be around Shen Yuan all while annoying the absolute shit out of the Hero. Let them be sassy and snarky and not always perfect allies, but still somewhat there despite their roles in the plot.

IDK, I just think it would be neat.

[themememerchant]

I'M WATCHING GRAVITY FALLS FOR LIKE THE 13TH TIME AND JUST-

WhY??? IS NOBODY TALKING ABOUT CARPET DIEM???

Like, this episode was so fuking good!

Like-okay, I get that it's just sort of early show filler, but it's fucking amazing filler!

This episode had what I would consider to be some of the best jokes and one-liners in the whole series, and I've seen some parts in compilations here and there, but I feel like we collectively sleep on some of the raw chaos this episode brought!

Here are all of my favorite bits:

Dipper somehow hitting Stan in the head with a golf ball from the attic

Dipper having his leg gnawed by a wolf compared to staying with Mabel and her friends: "...This is still better."

Grenda walking out of an empty closet: "I don't know what I was kissing in there, but I have no regrets!"

Mabel poking dipper with a random twig: "Get ready to be poked by the fun stick!"

Dipper: "Washing clothes is a waste of time! I'm a busy guy!"

Mabel: "I'LL KILL YOU!!!"

The entire scene when Dipper and Mabel start freaking the fuck out over switching bodies

Dipper giving Stan a sandwich made from literal rocks after he ate an omelette shaped like his own face

Soos: "Nobody thinks it's cute when I lie naked on the living room floor."

Wendy just going:"Nope!" And walking away after seeing waddles screwing around with Soos' body

"I'm a creature of the night-But I'm also a creature of passion..." From Grenda's age-inappropriate romance novels

Stan choosing to step up for once and explain the birds and the bees to Dipper, unfortunately, Mabel was the one to receive "The Talk™" under horrible circumstances

Mcgucket finding a random talking pig in the streets, pulling out a knife and a fork from his beard, and proceeding to chase said pig across all of downtown in the hopes of a free meal

Waddles as Soos convincing Stan to give him a raise after Stan originally wanted to lower his salary

Candy switching bodies with Dipper for no reason other than she wanted to and Dipper being so done with everything

Mcgucket: "Come back! I wanna deep fry yer ears!"

Mcgucket as Candy: "I'VE REGAINED MY INNOCENCE!"

Dipper: "Well, I guess I'm a pig now. So that's a thing..."

- *proceeds to gnaw on an apple core*

Sheriff Blubs and deputy Durland presumably following a talking pig and a rabid old man to the mystery shack under the pretense of "-reports of excessive giggling."

Deputy Durland running into a wall five times for no reason after swapping into Dipper's body

Mcgucket threatening to eat Soos after everybody swapped back to their original bodies

- Mcgucket was really on point in regards to comedy this epsiode

Stan once again being hit in the head from a wayward golf ball

- Stan: "Why am I even out here at night?!"

The fact that Waddles, as Soos, somehow: gave a woman directions, presumably flirted with her, proposed to her at some point, and made his way back to the mystery shack in the span of what couldn't have been more than five hours tops

And that's all I can think of

I think I'll make this a regular thing, where I share my favorite bits and jokes from underrated pieces of media

IDK, maybe my sense of humor is just broken...

Either way, I have to go now, my planet needs me

Auf Wiedersehn, all ye rat children of the holy grail.

[i-am-creacheur]

okay listen. I get the urge to talk about my favorite life series ship like it's Canon in every season...BUT. THAT HAS NEVER ONCE BEEN THE CASE.

Yes, Jimmy would be upset if Tango canaried (technical scientific term for that). Everyone would be- even I would be, and I've never watched a single one of his videos. Canarying sucks, and it hurts. Of course I would be upset. THAT DOES NOT MEAN THAT I THINK JIMMY WOULD BREAK DOWN SOBBING FROM A CHARACTER STAND POINT. They have had only like... THREE on screen interactions. One is Tango murdering a man infront of Jimmy and another is Tango cheerfully burning down something one of Jimmy's teammates worked very hard on. WildLifeChara!Jimmy has more reason to hate or be afraid of WildLifeChara!Tango than to be madly in love with him.

I promise you, if Tango had offered Jimmy a life instead of Ren, people wouldn't shut up about for MONTHS. But, because it's Ren, somehow the interaction isn't NEARLY as homoerotic??? I understand having NOTP's, but the Jimmy/Ren ship doesn't even show up ONCE on ao3. Zero fics. ZE-RO. There's no reason to hate something that doesn't even exist.

This same concept applies for Flower Husbands as well- not just in Wild Life, and Secret Life and Limited Life and Last Life and Real Life though- in Empires.

I have no clue about Empires Season 1, but they barely interacted in Empires Season 2- and yet the amount of ship art I sift through on a weekly basis for my side blog is actually insane. Yeah, the few interactions WERE important, but I think Scott only flirted (in video) with Jimmy maaybbeeee three times. I have no idea what the count of that for streaming is, but I swear it is not enough to keep that number so inflated.

Although, honestly, this problem might just be affecting me because of my personal view on shipping- if it's in a context where it doesn't make sense for the characters to be romantically engaged, I won't read it or write it.

For example, my beloved Solidwood! I mostly get their vibes or read their fics from the following series: Evo, Last Life, New Life, Empires2, Secret Life. That's because those settings make sense! They are active, they are engaged, they have near constant interactions or very close base locations. It makes SENSE for them to be shipped. However, if you showed me art or fic of them in, say, Limited Life, I'd furrow my brow and tilt my head and say "no, that doesn't do anything for me." BECAUSE THEY HAVE ZERO REASON TO BE INVESTED ROMANTICALLY IN ONE ANOTHER THERE, AS A STAND ALONE SETTING.

Most of the major Jimmy ships, though, don't follow this rule. I can understand loving a ship so much you want to see it everywhere- but, I promise you, stepping back and looking at which characters actually have chemistry regarding the new setting and social system will do wonders... you won't have to think of new Au's to insert your favorite ship into a new setting... all ships will be your favorite ship (unless they give you the ick). Join the multishiper hivemind /j

No but honestly it's gotten to the point where I will like or dislike a creator/character of theirs by what ship is their most popular given the context of the setting. Like, Tango in Double Life? Awww the sweetie!! I love him :) and then Tango in Empires2 sets off alarm bells in my brain screaming at me. He is NOT meant to be here bringing that ship here, this is NOT its territory. Same problem for Scott in nearly damn near every SMP both Jimmy and him are in... except Wild Life because he's actually been pretty nice and not condescending or forcing on Jimmy. I guess also power imbalances in how fans view them is a major no-go for me...

Idk if you read this whole thing thanks I guess... for anymore needed context I am a Jimmy rarepair obsessed multishiper.

TLDR; Lots of popular ships are inserted into settings without a thought for what that would mean for the setting and any changes in the established social connections, which gives OP the ick. I'm also not policing ships I'm just begging people to please either understand more ships using in setting context or list their AU details in the summaries of the fics. This goes hand in hand with misinterpreting characters in writing also... the more ships you like the more characters you will get to get good at writing!!!!

[weirdgenetic-fuckup]

helloooo hiiii haii hiii

do you think you could write a fic (duff x reader) w duff being a big softie w his s/o and taking extra care of them while they’re going through a little depressive episode, just making sure they’re taking care of themself and giving em gentle cuddles and reassurance n fluffy shit? that would be super sweet <3

Warnings: Depression, idk it's mostly fluff but if you think I missed something let me know otherwise enjoy!

You honestly never saw it coming, but Duff did.

You felt yourself getting more tired more easily but just chalked it up to not getting enough sleep, you stopped eating and also thought it was just from not getting enough sleep.

Soon you were laying in bed, it was almost 3:00 pm and you hadn't moved since you woke up.

The phone was ringing every hour but you never answered, then it was every half hour, every fifteen minutes. Duff was calling you like his life depended on it.

The past few weeks he'd been listening to you complain about hurting and being tired and this, that and the other thing. He knew what was happening but you didn't.

He'd been taking you out more, dinners every other night -at first he tried taking you to restaurants but then you started saying no, not having the energy to go out. He'd come by and help with things around your apartment, washing the dishes, doing laundry.

He always tried to include you in these activities but at some point you just stopped answering to him.

You heard a knock on your door but didn't want to answer it, you didn't want to get up. It took you too long to realize what was happening and now you were just blocking everyone out.

The door opened and you knew it was Duff, you'd given him a key the last time this happened for when it happened again. This was again and he came right to your room with take-out from your favourite fast food place.

He sat next to you on your bed. He didn't wait for you to turn to him, he wrapped his arms around you, under your arms, and pulled you up. Your body slumped against him but it was better than laying down. Small victories.

He opened up the food and helped you eat, holding it to your mouth and waiting for you to take a bite. "Eat." He said. "Eat it or I'm painting your face with it." You shot him a look but took a bite, a small bite but a bite nonetheless. "Good, keep eating."

After the first bite you wanted more. You didn't feel like doing much but it was still your favourite food, you couldn't turn down your favourite food.

He stuck with you, he didn't push you to do a whole lot. He made you change your clothes and move to the couch while he took care of some cleaning.

You were laying on the couch on top of him, nuzzling into him as you watched a movie.

His arms wrapped tightly around you, occasionally kissing the top of your head or your forehead, your temple.

"Guns is going on tour." He said, running his fingers through your hair.

You nodded. "I know."

"I know you know." You looked up at him, resting your chin on his chest. "I want you to come with me." Your brows raised at that.

You'd never gone on tour with him before, it was never even a question more of just 'I'm going' 'call me every day?' and it worked fine for the both of you.

"You... want me to come?" You asked hesitantly. "What about, like, groupies?" He gave you a look.

"Groupies, seriously? I have you and I want you on tour with me, in my hotel room, in my bed, in my arms." He stated, giving you a gentle squeeze. "There's no reason you can't come, you're coming."

"I have work."

"Quit."

"I can't just quit, Duff!" You groaned, swatting his chest. He smiled. It wasn't a lot but it was a glimpse at your usual self.

"You don't need your job, you have me." In fairness, you don't know why you don't already live with Duff, very rarely are you separated, usually only tours stand in your way.

You laid your head back down on his chest. "I can't quit."

Duff let out a heavy breath. "Quit or don't quit, you're coming with me and that's final."

For the next week Duff stuck with you, every day encouraging you to do a little more. He helped you shower, starting with warm bubble baths, lit candles around, when you got in the shower he was with you, washing your hair for you, then you'd wash his hair.

He had you help him with dinner, letting you sit on the counter and just talk to him while he did the work, then he'd have you dry the dishes after he washed them. You had a washing machine but he felt this would be better.

Soon he had you going on walks around the neighbourhood and packing your bags.

You were by no means fine by the time the plane took off, but you were doing better. Every night Duff would pull you tight to his side, kiss your forehead and tell you how much he loved you, how important you were to him.

You were standing out on the balcony of the hotel you were staying at. It was a cool night and you were wearing one of Duff's shirts, the way the city lit up was beautiful to you.

"You're gonna catch a cold." Duff said, coming out to join you, wrapping his arms around you and resting his chin on your head. "Can't have you getting sick on me."

"Because then I'd have to leave?" You asked, taking his hand in yours.

"Because then you'd get me sick and I wouldn't be able to play." You smacked his arm and he laughed.

He sighed softly and rubbed your arms, giving them a gentle squeeze. "I'm glad you came." He said, voice soft in your ear. "I like being here with you."

You nodded. "I like being here too... with you."

"Glad I'm an after thought." You shook your head at him, turning in his hold to face him and nuzzling into his chest.

"Thank you." You said softly.

"Don't do that." He said, rubbing your back. "I didn't do anything special."

"You brought me here."

"Ok, yeah, fine, you get that." He said with a smile. "That's just because I'm a band, a good one... Don't thank me for the other stuff."

You looked up at him curiously. "Why not?"

"I didn't do more than what any other good boyfriend would do... just like you help me before planes, I help you through these. It's just what we do." He explained. He looked down at you, cupping your face in his hands. "You're my perfect girl, don't forget that." He leaned down and kissed your forehead, then your nose and finally your lips.

[nightwingfightwing]

I have a couple of things to say this time because this was insane. First of all, bro was fighting Blockbuster and really thought, "My best chance is if I bring the building down on top of him. This will surely 1) kill him 2) not break the no-killing rule and 3) not also kill me while i am trapped in the same space"

Second, Batman, who was there to help and was not made aware of this plan, is frantically calling for Nightwing because from his perspective, a building just sort of imploded with his son in it, which is ALMOST THE THING THAT KILLED THE OTHER ONE. Dude is probably out here having the worst PTSD known to man

Third, okay, after dude recovered Nightwing, he asks if Blockbuster could still be alive. And Dick's like, "I don't see how. But mAyBe." Sir. You dropped a building on him. What. And then Batman, as though Dick had not just potentially broken the one rule and killed a man, just gets in the car and goes back to Gotham. No further questions. Which. Mood. He's probably about to go have the breakdown to end all breakdowns in the cave and then make more messes for Tim to clean up but idk. (And also, like, given what I know of how this Blockbuster arc ends, it would've been better for everyone if he had died here, but I digress)

Lastly, just. What the fuck. Honestly. After all of this, probably killing a guy, and almost dying, and cosplaying A Death In The Family, Bruce is like, "You've got a handle on things down here. I'm proud of you." Like. Okay. Murder is fine but only if it's in Blüdhaven, I guess.

And, yes, I know Blockbuster didn't die here. You know that. At this point, they really do think they could've just left his corpse in a collapsed building. Just. Killed that guy and moved on. Okay. Sure. It's an interesting read, I'll say that much

(Nightwing 1996, #15)

[ikamigami]

At this point I'm just screaming at sun to just get out of there like pull a ruin or eclipse and just leave or at least run away to find himself like his only support is solar and kind of Earth (idk how to put it but something about recent episodes about her reaction to nexus and sun rubbed me the wrong way) and honestly everyone else hasn't given him anything like I feel like if he doesn't get away something even worse is going to happen to him

To be honest with you.. if Sun really has psychotic depression then things aren't looking good..

He most likely has an episode already though it's hard to say when it exactly starts..

They should keep a better eye on him cause even though he doesn't seem to have energy to do something that may harm him he also shows signs of agitation like when he was talking with Jack..

Though he definitely shouldn't go anywhere on his own..

As much as running away and finding a better place may sound promising.. it's actually a bad idea..

Because who knows what he could do in such a state.. or someone could take advantage of it and take him away..

I know that VAs won't do anything drastic.. but at the same time idk.. Moon and Nexus and Solar and Eclipse were time and time again doing things that could end up very badly for them..

I know that they won't show Sun killing himself..

But there's a lot of things that Sun still could do..

I only understand that people are less concerned for Sun because they don't agree with me that he has psychotic depression..

But just please don't come at me to lecture me about this disorder..

I'm not directing it at anyone particularly.. I'm talking in general..

Minor edit: Like if you very disagree (idk why i wrote hardly bxbxbxbbx) with me just don't interact with my posts and that's it..

Though Sun still can try to run away.. like who knows what will come to his mind in such a state and with others not paying much attention to him.. he may just really run away..

But then it's more likely that something bad will happen to him.. unless you like angst, dear anon, it's better if Sun didn't try to run away..

Though yeah something still may happen if no one will pay attention to him..

But unless someone will take him.. though who?

If Atlas then it'll definitely end badly..

But maybe Eclipse? I'd love if that happened ^^ but I doubt that they'll do that 😅

About Earth though.. tbh I think that I get what you mean..

I think that despite how much she cares and tries to support him.. she doesn't know what to do..

She doesn't know how to really help him.. I had this feeling for a really long time..

Though I might be wrong and it just looks like that..

Also because if you run away you have to have a plan.. you have to know where to run to..

Especially when you're in such poor mental state..

It's just too dangerous for Sun to run away from his family without any true direction.. cause it's like a recipe for disaster..

And I really hope that Solar is keeping a closer eye on Sun..

[percyweasleyapologist]

Here's some reasons to write/love Percy x Penelope x Oliver

@guess1mjustheren0w, this is for you :)

OKAY, so basically we know that Oliver and Percy are both extremely passionate about their (subjects? hobbies? y'know what i'm talking about). They both want to be the top, BUT, they aren't competing. We also don't ever hear any mention of anyone else in their grade level.

Percy is especially stuck up and Oliver is kind of all over the place (not when it comes to quidditch, but just life in general). From this, we can assume that they probably argued quite a bit, or at least until they got used to each other. This means that their passion clashes in a contained environment, causing tension.

This is kind of the base of Percy x Oliver, kind of an Enemies to Lovers vibe, but also a forced proximity.

THEN for Percy and Penny, Percy isn't quite introverted, but not quite extroverted, while I headcanon that Penny is more on the extroverted side. Penelope brings out the "rebellious" or more laidback side of Percy, while he bring out the more thoughtful or peaceful side of her.

I'm not really sure how to explain it but kind of imagine a scene where they're in a dorm, no one else around, there's a fire going, it's super cozy, they're laying down and Percy is talking about something he's super passionate about. Penny is just looking up at him with that gaze, the one where it's just full of love, and she's just smiling and they're happy.

Percelope (Percy x Penelope) is more of a sweet, dancing in the rain, running through fields sort of ship. They match each others intellectual abilities and are just so cute.

FINALLY, Penny and Oliver. I don't know the ship name but I definitely see potential. Most of it does revolve around Percy, but i think that makes a ship with all three of them work even better.

So Penny and Oliver are both really important people in Percy's life. They both love him very much and with the other one still in the picture, I think they'd first kind of hate each other. Not really hate actually, more like a strong rivalry.

They both want Percy, and are both going to get what they want. They probably argue a lot, they glare at each other, they make snarky remarks and comments, but at the end of the day, that's what fuels their relationship.

Penny and Oliver have a Rivals to Lovers vibe. They like to rib each other about things, but their rivalry converts into fiery passion (that sounds weird but idk what else to call it) over time.

I feel like they have the kind of love that it's like two teammates in a sport, they both play the same position and are equally as good. It's like that moment right before the game when they look at each other and just smirk and say "i'll score more point a than you", but in the end, they both win because they're on the same team.

They both love the sport (percy), but they love each other equally as much.

All of them fit together because they all balance each other out. Percy's want, combined with Oliver's need, and Penelope's desire, it all balances out. They're like different version of the same person, but they're different enough, so that they still understand each other, but aren't the same person with the same personalities.

So yeah, that's it! If you write something, let me know what it's called! :)

I'll also try to find the post that made me think of it bc i think it does a great job of describing it pretty well!

[pikxelbit]

A/N: Really cheesy but idk, I wrote it because someone gave me a prompt, (not specifically for Turbo, just a simple prompt for a story).

Sway With Me

Turbo x Reader | One shot | 1,225 words

Warnings: None

Prompt: You and him get stuck in a garage as you both wait for the rain to stop. While waiting, you find a radio and get the idea of dancing.

Cold winds start to blow harder through the game as the racetracks started to darken along with it's landscape. It was strange to have weather here, althought the game did have a low budget when in the making, it seems the developers added a bit of an easter egg to this digital world. Although they could have saved the money and effort for better graphics, this was still something to cherish. As useless and pointless to have weather change in this game, it is still quite an interesting phenomenon.

Both you and Turbo were wrapped up in a friendly banter after the arcade closed. Standing around, his grin would continue to persist as you continue to reply.

"Hey, come on it was fun wasn't it?" Turbo spoke, a grin widening slightly on his face.

"You told me you wouldn't go too fast!" Pointing your finger at him, you try to fix your hair. It was messy and tangled up, all because Turbo chose to speed up the pace when driving both of you here. With your lack of helmet, you ended up with shuffled up locks.

"What'd you expect, I'm 'Turbo'. Isn't that what I'm supposed to do?" He commented back, snickering slightly as he replied.

"Turb-" as you were about to reply, a sudden shift in the air managed to get your attention. With one single drop of water front the sky, Turbo quickly knew what was going to happen.

"Well, I think we should go..." Turbo murmured, looking up at the clouds quickly forming in the sky.

Getting back into his racecar, he urges you to sit beside him, "Come on, or do you want to get wet?"

"You won't go too fast again right?" You asked, taking a seat beside him.

Without a moment left to lose, Turbo didn't answer. Starting up the engine, he only gave you a smirk before the car accelerated quickly towards the garage.

Surprised at the sudden pace, you try to get a grip on anything that would help you stay in your seat. Gripping on Turbo's shoulder and a part of his car, you managed to remain seated in the car as both of you quickly arrive at the garage.

"Geez, didn't know you were that clingy," Turbo teased lightly towards you.

Rolling your eyes playfully, you take your hand off him and his car before removing yourself from Turbo's vehicle. After only a few drops of rain pitter pattered, the storm would quickly escalate. Quickly opening the door, both of you took shelter in the garage.

This was normal, well at least for Turbo. The quick exange in his games' weather was an astonishing view but not a good experience to get in. As it rained, dark grey clouds would continue to appear from nowhere, making it look like both of you are going to be stuck here for a while.

"Jeez..." You mutter under your breath as you silently watched the rain get a bit stronger from inside of the garage. Having all the doors and windows closed, you were left with a feeling of bordome. Looking around though, you managed to get yourself entertained.

You did get inside this garage a few times in the past. Although you never really did get to inspect it fully. Now feeling a sense of boredome starting to sprout, you find yourself a bit more focused on certain details you've missed in the past. Looking around now, you notice a dusty as well as toolboxes neatly placed on the desk. There seemed to be the usual things a mechanic should have when tasked to fix a car. Moving onwards though, as your eyes continue to wander, it suddenly stops once your vision sees a few dirty boxes in the shelves. Noticing, Turbo takes it upon himself to guess what you're thinking of.

"What, hoping to find something?" he asked, his gaze redirected to the boxes as well.

"Not really," you replied stepping forward the shelves, "just curious..."

"What, curious of a few dusty boxes probably filled with junk?" Turbo joked as he took one box from the shelf.

"Well you never really know what could be inside," you replied as you stepped forward to inspect the box Turbo placed down.

The box was of course dirty, on top was a thick layer of dust, enough to make you sneeze. Although a bit old, the box stood mighty and stable to hold certain objects.

Opening the box, you both looked inside and see...

"Whoa, a radio..?" You asked, curiosity sparkling in your eyes.

"Heh, haven't seen this in years," Turbo exclaimed in wonder as he took out the old radio from the box, placing it on top of a desk nearby. The radio was shaped like an oval when looking at it from the front and from the top, on the side though, it's appearance was half of an oval. Plopping it down slowly on the desk, you both exchange looks before proceeding to search through the box.

Tinkering slightly with the radio's antennas you asked Turbo, "How did you even get a radio?"

"Ehh, Flash (one of his bros), managed to find it somewhere in the Game Central Station. I don't really know but he did sort of tinker with it before putting it away for some reason," Turbo explained, pulling out a cassette tape from the box.

"Let's see if it still works yeah?" You comment, before plugging the radio somewhere. Agreeing, to your idea, Turbo inserts the cassette tape into the radio.

A nice, playful tune starts to play, although not really clear, the sounds emenating from the player was enough to make you want to dance.

"May I have this dance?" you ask, raising your hand for him to hold. He hesitates for a second, he didn't really know how to dance...

"I'll teach you a few tricks I know, it'll be fun I promise," a smile stretching on your face, you continue to keep your hand in place for him to reach. A few seconds pass by and he doesn't answer for a while. But as you continue to gaze at him, he couldn't help but say yes.

"Fine..." He mutters under his breath.

Surprised, you suddenly pull him close to you, "Let's have some fun yeah?" Still holding his hand, you try to guide him through a dance. Although a bit wonky at the start he manages to get the hang of it after only a couple of tries, which was quite impressive.

"You're doing really good," you spoke, swaying your hips as you follow the rythm of the song.

"I think I'm getting the hang of it," Turbo replies, following suit as he tries to complement your moves with his own.

Still holding hands, as you twirl and twist, Turbo's hold on you tightens slightly a few times as you're moves would sometimes need support from him. Still having fun altogether though, you both dance with each other, a smile stretched on both of your faces.

Smiling and laughing, both of you enjoy your time together under the shelter of this garage. Although the weather may be in a bad mood, you both find yourselves uplifted in each other's arms as the tune of each song guides both of you through sweet moments of happiness.

[rustfoxes]

This has just become a list of things I don't like about the game tbh. Oh well.

I do not like having non-Warden characters fighting darkspawn. The whole entire point of the Order is that they are, again, the only ones who can face the Blight without dying instantly, because darkspawn blood is poison. If any rando can fight them, why the fuck have Grey Wardens to begin with?

What is the goddamn message of this game? If you're faced with people doing horrible things absolutely do not try to help? Someone's trying to enslave the whole of the world and you should know better than to try and stop them! Because, oh boy, you might not do it the exactly correct way that doesn't negatively impact anyone! And wow if you did make a mistake, never ever try to mend what you've broken, because that makes you a bad person. You honestly think that a literal spirit of Wisdom didn't consider every fucking option available? I really hope they can tie this shit up in a nice lil bow by the end of it.

I'm so fucking tired of Morrigan being in every goddamn game. I didn't like her in the first one. Same with Isabela. Didn't like Leliana either but thankfully she's not shown up this time outside of conversations. But just fuck Morrigan, I can't stand her being everywhere and the most coolest and most important and oh so special. Love her VA, don't like the character. Don't ask me why, idk man.

Kal-Sharok outpost... with sunlight? I mean, it's beautiful, but no self-respecting dwarf would go where the sun might hit them. You can't really call a place with sunlight the Deep Roads. The first word in "Deep Roads" should give you a pretty significant hint.

For a people as devoted to remaining unchanged, the Kal-Sharok dwarves sure changed their ways quick, if it only took a couple of generations.

Why is the only child in the game in the Grey Warden fort?

Super grateful that Mila isn't an example of the "spunky kid" stereotype where they're a freaking pain and you have to rescue them from trouble they get themselves into. Thanks for being a sensible kid.

I find the whole "wow Solas was so condescending always" thing to be... strange. If you talked to him with the base amount of respect you'd talk to anyone with and told him to knock it off when he started to be rude, he was a perfectly polite and fine conversation partner. He appreciated being told that the elves are trying and if he's so much smarter, he needs to teach them. He acquiesces that you're right and asks what you'd like to know. I never thought he was particularly condescending. Morrigan was much more condescending and belittling at times. The forest echoes as you yell into it. If you were rude and condescending, he was rude and condescending. If you were polite and firm, so was he. I really don't like the assumption that the person playing the game interacted with Solas a set way in the previous game, specially since the assumption is that you were a dick and he was a dick in kind.

The Cauldron got me. Seeing the urns for the gryphons just go on and on into the darkness actually managed a solid hit. Well done on that one.

I get where the Red Lyrium Ghost is coming from, but "why do [the elves] get to thrive when [dwarves] have suffered", really? Really? Orzammar and other dwarven kingdoms are rich as hell off the lyrium they sell to literally everyone else, meanwhile the elves until quite damn recently have been enslaved by humans and lost to their past. No one's a winner here. I get that she's talking about the elves of old, but still. Bub.

Why do we have so much time to hunt down the Gloom Howler though? Wouldn't blighting the gryphons take like... 2 minutes max?

Still frustrated about being immediately told what to do when the game gives you a puzzle. Absolutely zero trust in the player's capabilities.

Disjointed DAtVG feelings/opinions

I've played the game for a bit, I'm not too far in yet, and honestly? I hope it gets better. Spoilers & venting below as you might guess.

Everything seems to be tell, don't show. There's very, VERY little trust in the player. Characters happen upon a ruined village? "The village is ruined! There's no one here!" Yes, we can see that. Character looks upset? Text pops up on screen to tell you that IN FACT!! Character is upset. Couldn't have guessed.

Everything is explained out loud immediately, except the arguably actually important things. If I remember correctly, there's no mention of the 10 year (?) timeskip from DAI, everyone just now knows everything about elven magic and the Fade and the Veil EXCEPT FOR THE PLAYER. None of that is explained! New players are expected to just know, which in some games works, but when you throw characters into a magical forest and say it's Arlathan forest, how tf are they supposed to know what Arlathan is.

Why is Varric a brunette all of a sudden

Characterisation of returning characters is fucking wild. Fun, jokey Harding? Massive chip on her shoulder and real aggressive for some reason. Soft-spoken and measured Solas? Yelling, again, for some damn reason. Where is his iambic pentameter? And he hates blood magic all of a sudden?? Did the writers play the earlier games at all? Solas SPECIFICALLY says in DAI that blood magic has no morality to it and is merely a tool.

The game is linear to the extent that I cannot for the life of me see the point of the game asking you to wrap up unfinished business before moving forward. What unfinished business? You've locked us into a small room with 0 exits and 1 chest. There is no business.

So far there's been zero time for any of the story to breathe. There are no story beats, because the drum machine that is the pacing just keeps hammering on. The gravity of the situation has no time to set in for anyone. THE ACTUAL GODS OF MYTH HAVE BEEN BUST OUT OF GOD-JAIL. THIS IS A HUGE FUCKING PROBLEM. "Yeah, well, people would've died if Solas hadn't been stopped from tearing down the Veil." And this is preferable???? What the actual fuck. DAI Solas wanted to rebuild and to safe-guard his people. TWO of the people he wanted to PROTECT EVERYONE FROM are now out. But oh man, that Solas, he would've hurt folks. You think the wondertwins won't? Jesus fucking Christ.

The gameplay more or less just completely scraps character classes. Playing a mage rn and for some damn reason she has separate ranged attacks. What the actual fuck. What is the point of making people choose a class if a damn mage has to stand next to enemies to attack?

So far doesn't feel like an RPG at all. Starts in media res which is fine, but your character is already established as a cool hero and an important figure. Why? Why weren't we along for that ride?

Character movement is janky af, DAI was much smoother 10 damn years ago. Hopefully they'll somehow manage to fix it.

Either they needed better actors or a much better voice director, because holy shit is the dialogue awkward and halting and just... no.

Writers have clearly had shoes far too large to fill. Dialogue wants to be funny and witty and clever. It is not. Specially not with the phoned in voice acting.

Where have my Welsh/Irish elves gone? Wtf happened there? Also why wasn't there anyone around to tell the actors how to pronounce the elvhen words??

Why the fuck is the rogue our healer.

All quests so far have been walking from A to B, collecting some coins along the path, and then fighting 5 or 10 enemies. No variation at all.

Idk man, I really hope the game will find its legs as it goes on, but so far? Massively underwhelming and honestly quite disappointing. Absolutely does not feel like DA. People critisised DA2 for being rushed and DAI for a whole host of shit, but at least I felt like I was playing a Dragon Age game.

[eemamminy-art]

I was talking about this in a server but I wanted to put the thoughts here too

I think Zenos being the way he is stems so much from Emet-selch's beliefs that sundered people are lesser. Like it's the generational trauma that made Zenos that way in the sense of Solus' cruelty to Varis led to Varis' cruelty toward Zenos, but I also think that the loss of the ancient world and the contempt Emet-selch holds for humanity is also something he instilled in both Zenos and Varis. The notion that humanity is just inherently corrupt and evil, and that people will always resort to violence and harm toward one another because he's seen so many conflicts and nations that rose and fell over the millennia.

So in his kin, that sentiment is passed on. In Varis' case, he is aware of his grandfather being an ascian and is very much like, "I will be the exception to the rule, I will be the example of mankind standing above the ancients." Except, of course, Varis uses this mentality to justify some of the most horrific atrocities a person could commit, such as mass genocide through black rose, or killing his own family members in the civil war that followed Solus' death. Varis has this notion that he's an example of a "good" human, despite doing all of the terrible things that Emet-selch ascribes to humanity as a whole.

In Zenos' case, he was groomed to be a living weapon and has come out the other side of it with this bleak outlook. If humans are inherently cruel and evil and corrupt, why does anything matter? It made his baseline assume the worst in everyone, including himself, so his apathy is all-encompassing. There is no right or wrong, everyone kills everyone and it's all fucked up, so why bother trying to be "right"? What even are "right" and "wrong" anyway? It allows him to be someone who does horrific things, while searching for some kind of purpose or meaning. I wish we had gotten to see more of Fandaniel and Zenos interacting, because I think they are so similar in the sense of wanting for meaning and purpose but being so disillusioned with the world and with the cruelty of others that they themselves became cruel.

I think long before the "would you be happier had I a good reason?" speech and Alisaie's rebuttal to it, Zenos had this curious little seed embedded in him by his encounters with the warrior of light. It's not unlike how Lyse spends much of 4.0 both hating Fordola, and also being fiercely curious as to why she is the way she is and seeking to understand her. With Lyse though, she is guided by her strong sense of empathy and the notion that all of her people deserve their homeland returned to them regardless of their actions, while Zenos lacks empathy completely and up until now didn't really think about anyone, not even himself. But that curiosity is there, deep down, and I think it is a major driving force in keeping him going forward.

You could argue that Zenos' motivations are selfish: he does say himself that he is chasing the high of battle with a worthy opponent, and I think on some level that is true. But there is something deeper to it, something that really makes him question all he's known: "In that transcendent moment, what was it that I sought in you? And what was it that you sought in me?" He's seeking purpose, he's seeking the reason for what motivates people like the warrior of light to do good, and what "good" even is. It's so contrary to everything he's known, but it grabs hold of him until it becomes an obsession.

I think it's further elaborated on with some of Zero's story arc where she's learning about empathy, although her reasons for being that way are somewhat different from Zenos, I think they are similar on some level in that they can't really understand empathy or inherent goodness. She does eventually learn it, of course, and I'd like to think if given the chance to survive beyond the battle with the Endsinger, that Zenos could have gone on a similar journey too. That's what I envision anyway.