#idk what you guys want to see in terms of length and parts!

[thewintersoldierdisaster]

mat and squeaks gang - give me your opinions on something!

talia’s birth, as outlined right now, is going to be a pretty long fic with everything i’ve got planned. do you want it broke up into a couple of parts or posted in one long fic?

and then i’ve got related parts that could be included in the fic or posted as their own separate fics, so like what would be the preference?

[ahgasegotarmy116]

Faking It | Jeon Jungkook | Chapter One

Summary: Being divorced by the time you're thirty isn't the best feeling in the world but what happens when your parents find someone from your past that's in a similar boat? Pairing: f!reader (30) x Single Dad Jungkook (33) (Arranged Marriage Slow Burn?) Word Count: 11.3k (oh man holy shit) Warnings: Troubles with conceiving/seeing pregnancies to full term, Jungkook's first wife passed away in childbirth. (These themes will be spoken about throughout the fic and I will add extra warnings when need be in future chapters) a/n: Okay this one is gonna be a long one (in terms of chapter length, idk how many parts there will be) I'm really really in love with this story line so I hope you'll come along this cute, silly, awkward, heartwarming and heartbreaking journey with me 🥰 p.s. I've been brainstorming with @kkusadmirer (ofc 🤭) about this fic for a while now and I've just fallen in love with these characters too much that I had to get at least one part out. Okay okay enough from me. I hope you enjoy! (barely edited per usual I'm sry 😅)

"You should start dating again" my mom says to me, a dinner with a table for two this time since she said she wanted to talk to me about something important. If I would've known it was to nag me about something like this again I would've declined the invitation.

"Mom I already told you, I just got divo-" "You got divorced last year" she cuts me off and I sigh, knowing I'll probably get no where with this argument but continue on nevertheless.

"Point being, it hasn't been that long since Robert and I got divorced. I need time and space to figure out what I want out of life. I'm not interested in rushing into another marriage just for it to fail again" I explain and she simply downs the rest of her champagne in response, polishing it off in record time.

"You don't want to end up an old maid who didn't give me any grandchildren do you?" she says, repeating the same old argument again. "Mom I'm thirty, not forty five. I still have plenty of time to worry about babies and getting married again" I argue and she rolls her eyes before asking for another glass when the waiter passes by.

"You should at least try. Don't you like going out on dates?" she asks and I sigh, hating having this conversation over and over again.

"Dating was fun in my twenties but now that I'm more interested in finding someone to settle down with, it seems like all the guys that are remotely my age and happen to be decent human beings are already married" I explain and watch how she immediately takes her glass of champagne off the table once it's placed in front of her.

I'm glad she's drinking because having this conversation with her when she's sober is even more painful.

"You're exaggerating honey. I'm sure there is a fine young man just waiting for you around the corner" but before I'm able to respond to her, her eyes suddenly light up and she quickly gets out of her seat.

"Is it really you?" she says and another woman around her age that I've never seen before comes up to greet her. "How are you? It's been so long!" the mystery woman says and they quickly share an embrace before she turns to face me.

"And who is this beautiful young woman here with you?" she asks, making me shy away from them. "Oh this is my daughter y/n. Y/n this is Mrs. Jeon" she introduces us and tells me all about how they used to go to college together.

"Oh wow I think I remember my mom mentioning you before. You used to come over when I was little right?" I question, now remembering seeing her face in some of the pictures in my baby album.

"That's right! Little Jungkook and I used to come visit you all the time when you were just a teeny tiny little thing. You were the easiest baby I've ever come across, always sleeping and when you woke up you were as happy as can be" she rambles and I get a warm feeling in my chest, loving to have met someone who clearly cared so deeply for my mother and I.

"Who's Jungkook" I ask, looking back and forth between the two of them. "Jungkook is my son, he's just a few years older than you. I remember he was so fascinated by you, always wanting to come over and would watch over you as you slept, never causing a fuss as long as you were around" she says and I blush at the fact that her son would care about me just as much if not more than she does.

"How is he? Is he doing alright?" my mother asks and Mrs. Jeon gets a somber look on her face eyes fluttering to the floor before responding.

"Actually, he lost his wife a few years ago. She passed away after she gave birth to their daughter" she mumbles and I feel my chest tighten up at the thought of someone so young losing their life to something that is supposed to be so beautiful.

"My condolences to you all" I say, my eyes going glossy and she smiles in return, the memory bringing a tear to her eye as well. "Thank you love, that's very kind of you" she says, placing a hand on my shoulder before she clears her throat and blinks back her tears, wanting to put on a brave face in public.

"Why don't you come visit us at our home tomorrow evening? I would love to catch up and it would be good if the kids got reacquainted again" my mother suggests and I glare at her, knowing exactly what she's doing but also knowing there's no way I could stop her. 

"I would love that! Our husbands might enjoy catching up too since they used to get along so well" Mrs. Jeon points out. "Then it's settled! How would you feel about making it a dinner instead?" my mother questions, digging us deeper into this evening we'll all be spending together. "I think that sounds perfect!" she agrees and I tune out the rest of the conversation, already trying to mentally prepare myself for the scheming I know my mother has planned.

~~~~

Kicking off my shoes and walking into my apartment I'm greeted by the serene sound of silence. 

My black tuxedo cat meows as he jumps down from his cat tower and stretches for a second before coming over to greet me. "Hi Salem" I say, scooping him up and carrying him with me into my bedroom where I plop him down in the middle of my bed. "Mom only invited me to dinner because she wanted to tell me to start dating again" I relay to him, while I walk around my room, grabbing all the things I'll need to get ready for bed.

"I should've known she was up to something when she decided to invite me out on a random Wednesday night to go to my favorite restaurant. If the previous glances I had of the totals on those receipts didn't clue me in enough I don't know what would" I say in disbelief, having convinced myself hours earlier that it might've been about something good instead of another chance to nag me about something.

"I don't know why I even bother sometimes. She just has this worst case scenario mindset that I'm going to die alone and not leave a legacy. I understand that I'm their only child but with the way she talks, you would think I was well into my forties already" I say, verbally processing to him while he curls up into a ball, his eyes watch me walk back and forth until I walk into the en-suite bathroom to turn on the shower.

"Thanks for always listening to me Salem" I say, walking back over to him and scratching his head, "Don't know what I would do without you" I mumble before walking back over to the bathroom and closing the door.

Looking in the mirror I study my features, my hair styled just how I like it, my brows perfectly shaped but when I get to my eyes I notice it. I notice why my mother has gotten so worried about me.

It's as if the light's gone out of them. It's more than just 'Hey it's been a long day and I'm tired' no it's 'I don't even know what I'm doing here anymore' and for the first time, I admit to myself that I truly feel that way.

I reach for my cleanser and quickly wash off the little makeup that I still have on, lips completely plain and gone back to their natural color and some how my cheeks don't seem to be as rosy anymore after I had made sure to put on some more blush today to bring some color back to my face. Maybe it's not the makeup that's been washing me out, but the way that I've been living.

I will admit my days consist of going to work and coming home and doing that same thing over and over again. I don't really go out much and I only have a few friends but ever since I got divorced I just end up politely declining any sort of invitation I get from them. Doesn't matter if it's dinner or drinks or clubbing or even just a shopping trip.

I just can't get myself wanting to do anything anymore.

I step into the shower and I flinch slightly at the burning sensation the hot water brings to me but adjust it and step further under the stream once it's just to my liking. While going though my shower routine mindlessly I start trying to get to the bottom of what has got me living like this.

Robert wasn't the best husband in the world, mainly because he cheated on me but before that things were good between us. He made me laugh and was a perfect gentleman that always made me feel special and when we got married I swear I thought I couldn't be happier. 

It felt like my life was falling into place, our life.

Until it wasn't.

I'm knocked out of my train of thought when I hear Salem pawing at the door and remember now that in my whirl winded state of mind I forgot to feed him. "Sorry Salem I'll be right out!" I call out for him and he meows in response. I swear that cat is more intelligent than I am most days.

I finish up my uninteresting night as I always do, turning out the lights and cuddling up with Salem until I eventually fall asleep but it took a little longer tonight. Thoughts full of what my future might look like if I don't start living instead of just existing. 

As the 'what ifs' plague my mind they eventually drown themselves out as that same welcoming feeling of calm finally lulls me to sleep. 

~~~~~~

"Hurry up they're almost here" my mother says, yanking me inside the house before I even have a chance to knock on the front door. "Nice to see you too mom" I say under my breath and she's wound up so tight it doesn't even phase her. I can tell she's been working hard to make sure everything is perfect once the Jeons arrive.

"Did you get that wine I told you to get?" she questions, her eyes lighting up at the sight of the wine bottle carrier in my hand, quickly taking it and rushing into the kitchen. "Yeah no problem mom you're welcome" I say, talking to the air in front of me still waiting for her to show any sign of gratitude.

"Go place your things in your old room so they're out of the way" she call out, leaving me sighing and trudging off to do as she says.

Once I retrace my steps and walk past the door to go to join her in the kitchen I'm stopped in my tracks when the doorbell rings.

"Oh honey can you get that? My hands are tied here" my mom yells and I take a deep breath in and out before doing just that.

"Hello y/n! It's so nice to see you again" Mrs. Jeon greets me as I step aside and let them in, soon after her is her husband who holds out his hand in greeting. "It's been quiet a long time hasn't it? I remember when you use to be-" "Grandpa! Grandpa! I wanna meet the pretty lady too!" a little girl no older than five years old says, walking around her grandfather's legs to get to me, greeting me with the most adorable bunny smile.

"And now who might this be?" I ask, already melting into a puddle from seeing how absolutely adorable she is. "I'm Juni" she laughs when I go down to her level. "Well it's very nice to meet you Juni and how old are you?" I ask and she lights up when I continue taking an interest in her. "I'm four! Well Daddy says I'm turning five soon but it feels like it's taking forever. Right Daddy?" she says and looks back towards the man now left standing in the doorway.

"That's right Juni" he responds and the deep tenor of his voice sends a slight shiver down my spine, so full of love and admiration that is obvious to anyone who might come across the pair. "Oh!" I say, quickly straightening back up to meet this mysterious Jungkook and my throat goes dry once I've laid eyes on him.

Tall, strong build, dark brown hair that's well taken care of and styled perfectly, strong jawline accompanied by the contrast of the softest look in his brown almost black galaxy eyes that are still focused on his beautiful daughter.

"I'm sorry" I say but he shakes his head before he turns his head in my direction, taking in the sight of me as well before speaking. "That's alright, Juni kind of grabs everyone's attention right away" he says giving me a soft smile. "I'm Jungkook" he says, holding his hand out to me. "Y/n" I say shyly and shake it, his hands being much larger than mine is comforting in a way.

"My mom told me we used to come see you when we still lived here" he says once we let go, Juni now quietly watching our exchange. "Used to?" I question, curious to know more about why our mothers had lost touch. "We went back to our hometown for a while and then moved back to the city soon after Juni was born" he says and I nod my head, accepting that as an answer for now but wanting to know more.

"Sounds like I was just an infant though so I don't really have any memory of it" I admit while rocking back and forth on my heels, a nervous habit I've picked up over the years. "It's alright, I didn't expect you to remember" he chuckles, "I was only three so I don't remember much of it either" we laugh at his returned confession and a more comfortable air settles between us.

"Well it's nice to finally meet you" I say and he nods his head. "Likewise" he replies and we stand there for a moment, not really knowing where to go from here then, thankfully Juni breaks the silence.

"Daddy I wanna talk to the pretty lady" she says and grabs my hand and pulls me away from him. "Be nice Juni" he warns and she pouts, leaving me crouching down to her level and tilting my head to meet her gaze. "There's enough of me to go around little one. Don't worry" I say, booping her on the nose and making her giggle again.

Jungkook walks in a bit more and closes the door behind him, watching our little exchange before my mother comes out to check on us.

"Y/n why don't you take Jungkook and..." she says trailing off, not having learned his daughter's name yet. "Juni" Jungkook says and my mother smiles at the sound of the adorable name. "Jungkook and Juni outside. I'm sure she'd love to run around a little bit before dinner is ready" she suggests and I agree while Juni starts jumping up and down, excited to explore an unfamiliar place.

Jungkook follows closely behind as I lead the way but I ultimately end up getting dragged along by Juni who is surprisingly perceptive and has already mapped out the door that we'll be going through. "Come on Daddy keep up!" she calls after him once we've reached the door, looking back and seeing that he's fallen behind.

"I'm right behind you Juni" Jungkook chuckles and once we step outside Juni lets go and runs back and forth all around the yard, looking at anything and everything she can find.

"Be careful!" I say, worried that she could hurt herself but Jungkook comes over and stands next to me and reassures me she'll be fine.

"It's alright, if she gets hurt it'll be a little reminder to pay attention to what she's doing next time. That's the only way kids really learn right?" he says turning towards me, granting me with a soft smile, almost as if he's looking for validation on his parenting choice.

"Of course," I respond, returning the smile, "even some adults need to crash and burn before they learn their lesson sometimes" I point out and it makes him relax a bit more, thankful to see that he's right in his dealings with situations like this.

"She's a good kid" I say after leading him over to the patio set we have out here so we can sit down and watch her. "Thanks, it's been difficult raising her on my own so I'm never really sure if I'm doing a good job or not" he admits and I nod my head, taking a second to think about my response since it's a sensitive subject.

"I can tell that you love her very much so I have no doubt in my mind that you'll always do right by her" and I can tell that my words bring him a sense of comfort. Being a single parent can be extremely difficult especially when you lose the love of your life as soon as you become a father. 

I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone.

"Y/n?" I hear him call out and realize that my mind had drifted off for a second. "I'm sorry what did you say?" I say, my cheeks heating up from having been caught daydreaming. "I asked if you had any children of your own" he chuckles and I again try to figure out the best way to word this but figure the best way to go about it is to be honest. 

I've got no reason to hide from him.

"No, I got divorced last year and my ex husband and I were never able to have children" I say, looking down at my lap, embarrassed to have admitted it but also feeling a certain weight lifted off my shoulders.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know" he trails off and I panic, realizing I might've made him feel uncomfortable, telling him something so personal so soon. "No don't be, I honestly dodged a bullet with that one" I chuckle, hoping to lighten the situation a bit which thankfully it does as I see his body relax a bit.

"Our relationship had been on the rocks soon after we got married and I don't think we were a good match for each other so I think it was the universe's way of doing me a favor in making us somewhat biologically incompatible" I chuckle and he softly does the same.

"Biologically incompatible" he questions, a deeper meaning obviously hidden behind those words. "We both got checked out and everything looked completely fine but I guess it wasn't meant to be, thank God" I sigh, sincerely thanking whoever might've been in charge of making that executive decision for us.

"I'm not exactly sure what to say to that but I'm glad it worked out?" he states almost as if it was a question and I laugh, in response hoping I can recover this incredibly awkward conversation. "I'm sorry, that was a huge overshare that I probably should've kept to myself" I say, clearing my throat in hopes it would aid in clearing the peculiar air that had settled between us.

"You have nothing to apologize for, I asked and I feel honored that you felt comfortable enough to be so transparent with your answer" he says, the warmth in his tone giving me an ache in my chest. How could someone be so kind to someone they've just met? It's as if I could tell him anything and he would listen to me as if I was the only person in the world.

"Daddy!" 'Well me and Juni', I say to myself and watch as his attention now shifts to his daughter who is running up behind me. "Daddy look!" Juni says, holding out her hands that are now thoroughly caked in mud but hold a rock that is almost a perfectly shaped heart in the center of her palm. "Oh Juni" Jungkook chuckles, the ends of her dress now matching the state of her hands and neither Jungkook nor I can hold in our laughter.

"That's a very beautiful rock Juni! You're so clever" I say and I can see a sense of pride straighten her posture a little bit. "Juni your beautiful dress" Jungkook chuckles, clearly not minding but also trying to figure out what to do. "I'm sorry Daddy" she say, that pride slowly dwindling after seeing the mess she's made of herself.

"Hey Juni" I say, turning her attention back to me and I can see her spirits lift a little. "Would you like to see some of the clothes that I used to wear when I was your age?" I ask and her eyes light up at the thought. "Did you wear pretty dresses too?" she asks, clearly excited about seeing more new things. Her childlike wonderment makes my heart ache. Must run in the family.

"I did, but none of them were as pretty as yours. If you like, you can borrow one of mine while we wash this one" I suggest and the way her head nods up and down so fast makes me chuckle.

"Let's go to my room then! Hopefully we can find something you'll like" I say, standing up and straightening my dress while Jungkook reaches out for Juni's foot.

"Let's take your shoes off before we go back inside baby. We wouldn't want to track any mud into the pretty lady's house right?" Jungkook says, flashing a soft smile at me before looking back down to complete his intended task and Juni complies right away. 

My breath hitches as he purposefully uses the nickname Juni had given me and I quickly walk past them and open the door to go inside, trying to clear my head for a second, willing myself to keep it together.  

"Are you coming with us?" Juni asks and he nods his head, "I gotta go clean your shoes off first though" he says and I walk all three of us over to the bathroom so Jungkook can do just that as well as wash Juni's hands off.

"Wow!" is the first word that comes out of her mouth when we walk into the butterfly themed bedroom, mesmerizing her from the first glance. "Your room is so pretty!" she says, quickly running around here and there, being careful not to get too close since we haven't gotten a chance to change her dress yet.

"You like it?" I question and she's quick to nod her head again. "I wish my room looked like this" she says, spying all of the little butterfly details from the dainty embroidering on the bedspread to the knobs on the dresser, all of them working in harmony.

"We can go look for some butterfly stuff next time we go to the store if you'd like" Jungkook says while he walks into the room and right up to her while she stares up at the ceiling where there are a couple scattered across it. Nothing is too over the top but there is clearly a theme going on that she is captivated by.

"Really?" she asks, confirmation of what he's said being important to make sure she's hear him right. "Promise" he says holding out his pinky that she quickly wraps her's around as best as she can with her little ones being so tiny in comparison to his. She looks at the two of us before beckoning Jungkook to come closer so she can whisper something in his ear.

"Can the pretty lady come with us too?" she 'whispers' in his ear almost as loud as her speaking voice and I try to hold back my laughter, pretending like I didn't hear a thing. "Why don't you ask her?" he whispers and when he leans back she looks him in the eyes and he nods to further encourage her.

"Um, would you like to go shopping with us to get butterflies for my room too?" she asks, walking up to me shyly. Jungkook looks at me with a soft smile and I notice how the tips of his ears have almost gotten a little pink, his expression soft and charming but his body still showing tell tale signs of nervousness.

"Sure Juni, I'd love to go shopping with you" I say and she giggles in response while running back to her Daddy. "Can we go right now?" she asks jumping up and down. "We'll go another time don't worry baby, we've gotta set up a time so the pretty lady can go with us too right?" he reminds her and although she's sad she has to wait she nods in agreement. "Good, now let's get you out of this so we can make you all nice and clean again" he says, unzipping the back of her dress and revealing the cute little white tank top and tights that she wore under it.

I focus my attention on opening up the closet and grabbing a couple of dresses out for her to choose from. "These ones should fit. Which one would you like to wear Juni?" I say and her eyes flitter back and forth between all of them before giving her a Daddy a devious smile and hugging them to her chest. "I want all of them" she giggles and my heart melts, thinking about how fun it would be if I had a daughter just like her.

"Pick one Juni" Jungkook chuckles and she pulls back flipping through the selection I've made before her eyes light up and find the one she's dying to wear. "This one, this one!" she says, lightly holding onto the skirt and jumping up and down. I shift my grasp on them and hold out the one she chose for Jungkook to take and once he does there a static jolt of electricity that shocks us leaving the both of us pulling away slightly.

"Sorry it's probably from all the fabric of the dresses" I explain and he smiles in response. "Don't worry about it. A little spark never hurt anyone" he says and it's almost as if his voice had dropped a bit with that remark, leaving me widening my eyes a bit before turning back around and placing the dresses back in the closet. 

Why does he make me so nervous?

"Lady, lady look!" I hear from behind, and watch as Juni turns this way and that once Jungkook has finished putting the dress on her. "My goodness Juni don't you look adorable!" I say and she runs up to the the mirror in the corner of the room, watching the skirt swish this way and that. "Say thank you Ms y/n" Jungkook says, correcting Juni and finally telling her my name. She sounded too cute calling me 'the pretty lady' I just didn't have the heart to tell her otherwise.

"Thank you Ms y/n!" she says, running up to me and wrapping her arms around my legs since she is still  too small to reach anywhere else. "You're welcome Juni" I say, smiling down at her and smoothing her hair down. "Remember Juni, we're just borrowing it so we can wash your dress. We have to give it back to Ms. y/n before we leave" Jungkook says and I can see her excitement dwindle a bit but is no less thankful for being able to wear it tonight.

"Thank you for letting me borrow it Ms. y/n!" she says and I smile again, falling more and more in love with this adorable little girl with every smile she graces me with. "You're welcome" I say and she lets go of me and twirls around in it before stopping.

"Oh! I promise to be really careful and keep this one clean" she says holding out her pinky to do just as she had done with her father moments ago and I kneel down to her level and do just that before booping her on the nose causing another fit of giggles to spill out of her.

"Y/n, dinner is ready" my mother says while poking her head around the corner and I can tell she is completely satisfied by the scene that she's walked in on. "Oh Juni what a beautiful dress!" my mother says, noticing it right away, remembering it was one of my favorites. "Ms y/n gave it to me!" she says, swishing around in it again before doing a full twirl for us.

"Well aren't you the most darling little girl I've ever seen! Are you ready to eat? I heard that mashed potatoes are one of your favorite foods right?" my mom says, holding out her hand for Juni to take and she gladly does.

"Did my grandma tell you that?" she asks, clearly surprised that this complete stranger already knew something about her. "Yes she did. I hope you like them!" my mom says and Juni rushes down the hallway dragging my mom behind her. "Juni be careful!" Jungkook calls out to her but my mom just laughs it off.

"Why don't you show Jungkook where the laundry room is so you can put her dress in the washer" my mom offers up and I nod my head and look up at him. "That's okay I can just wash it when we get home" he says, politely declining the offer. "It's alright, it's best to wash it right away so it doesn't stain" I say, holding out my hand for the dress and he smiles before handing it to me and following my lead.

"You have a lovely home" he says shyly, looking this way and that taking notice of the small details just as Juni did. 'Like father like daughter' I think to myself. "It was my childhood home as you could probably tell from my old room" I say and he hums in response as I stop at the door to the laundry room.

"I know Juni is never going to stop talking about it" he chuckles and I smile at the loving tone that is always present in his voice whenever he speaks about her. We stand there in silence for a bit while I gather the various cleaning products I'll need.

"If you like, I can show you how to get stains like this out? If there was ever a day when I was her age that I didn't get some sort of dirt, mud or grass stains on my clothes my mother would write that down as a national holiday" I say and he laughs at that before accepting the offer.

"Sure, I'd like that" for some reason I can't seem to find the right words so I simply turn around and rinse off the mud in the little sink we have in here. "Do you think you could get that one for me?" I ask, nodding toward one of the stain removers. He wordlessly does as I ask and helps apply a drop or two of it to each of the areas I point out.

"I could've done that" he says now realizing how he's just standing there watching me clean his daughter's dress. "No, that's okay I offered!" I say, reassuring him that I don't mind. I wordlessly ask for the next stain remover before rubbing it in and ringing out the excess water. He opens up the washer lid for me and I toss it in and look this way and that for the laundry detergent.

"Looking for this?" he asks, pulling it off the shelf above the washer. "See, that's a perk of living on my own now. I don't have to worry about things being up too high for me anymore" I chuckle and quickly scoop in the appropriate amount and start the washer.

"Well let me know if you ever need anyone to get something that's out of your reach, it's one of the perks of being tall" he jokes and I laugh but almost shy away from the fact that he expects to see me again. "So I've heard" I say and try to put the detergent back on my own but it soon tips back over and is close to crashing down until he catches it, which in turn ends with him trapping me between him and the washer.

He slides the detergent back in it's spot and takes half a step back, giving me the smallest bit of space. "Why didn't you let me help you? I was standing right here?" he asks, tilting his head at me. "I don't know, I guess I'm just used to doing things on my own now" I chuckle awkwardly. "Well hopefully you'll get used to letting me help you soon" he says, finally taking another step back and giving me a bit more space to breathe.

"Sorry about that" I apologize awkwardly, leaning my back against the washer now with him leaning up against the wall directly in front of me and giving me a crooked smile. "Don't apologize, there's nothing wrong with being independent" he says and quickly scans my body but he does it so fast that if I would've blinked I would've missed it.

"Daddy it's time for dinner" Juni says, her soft steps not having been heard by either of us over the sound of the washer, breaking us out of the little moment that we had been having. "Okay Juni we're coming" he chuckles and holds out his hand for her to take but she giggles and dodges it, reaching for mine instead.

I squeeze past Jungkook as this little room is only wide enough for one person to walk through and the front of our bodies brush up against each other only for a moment until she's tugged me halfway out the door. "Let's be a train Daddy! Grab onto Ms. y/n's hand so you can be the caboose!" she says, turning this trip down the hallway into a game.

"Oh that's okay sweetie why don't you-" he starts but I hold out my hand for him to take, him only having refused for my sake, not wanting to make me uncomfortable with any unwanted skinship. "Grab on Daddy!" Juni giggles and I look up at him and see that he's looking down at me. He chuckles before grabbing onto my hand and the both of us are soon trailing behind Juni as she drags us to the dining room.

Once we get to the dinner table Juni lets go of my hand and runs back to where Jungkook's mom is so she can continue to help her eat her mashed potatoes. 

When everyone notices that Jungkook and I have arrived, we're greeted with four sets of eyes, all of them extremely happy to see us. It's then when I realize that we were still holding hands so I gently slide mine out of his, almost wishing I didn't have to.

He looks down at where our hands had been connected when I do and I can almost see that he's also disappointed that I let go but his expression is quickly replaced by an awkward smile aimed at our parents. 

When I look at the table I see that Jungkook and I are meant to sit directly across from each other. Which I'm sure is another one of my mother's ploys to get us to keep glancing up at each other, this time though I don't really mind.

When I go to walk to one side to sit down next to Mr. Jeon, Jungkook follows right behind me. 

"Oh did you want to sit on this side?" I ask him and he shakes his head, "No, I just wanted to pull your chair out for you" he says and I feel butterflies in my stomach. "Oh, okay" I say quietly and watch as he does just that and slides the chair in behind me once I've sat down. "Thank you" I reply, smiling up at him and he does so in return before rounding the table to take a seat in his place.

"So y/n, your mother told us that you work in photography, is that right?" she asks and I take a drink of water before responding. "Well not really, I've done a few freelance jobs here and there. Enough to keep me afloat so to say but I hope to do it full time soon!" I say and I see Jungkook perk up at that.

"Jungkook has always loved photography as well! He's always been tinkering away with cameras since he was just a few years older than Juni" his mother says while Jungkook cleans off Juni's face as it seems like she's gotten more food on her face than in her mouth.

"What subject do you usually shoot?" I ask, curious to see where his interests lie. "Mostly editorial, but I tend to enjoy the shoots a lot more when they have to do with nature. I believe beauty can be found in almost anything so I tend to just capture whatever inspires me at the moment" he says, his answer being very similar to mine.

"I feel the same way" I respond simply before shying away from the topic as I feel our parents are studying our interaction.

Once they notice the silence they decide to pick up the conversation just throwing facts about Jungkook and I back and forth, pretty much doing the getting to know you game for us without giving us much room to get a word in edgewise. Which leaves the both of us to just follow the conversation and occasionally making eye contact when either side makes a slightly embarrassing comment.

"Hey Dad" Jungkook calls out to his father over the never ending conversation they're having about us. "How's that new project at work going?" he says and I can already tell that it's one of those kinds of topics that once you get him started on it he won't stop and that's just the case as we now watch the conversation take a turn that is thankfully so far off from the two of us.

As time ticks by and the subjects change a few more times I notice that Jungkook has started to get up and clear the table to which I jump up in response to help him.

"Oh Jungkook don't worry about that I can do it later" my mother says but he shakes his head. "It's the least I could do after you've provided this wonderful dinner for my family and I" he says and I can almost see my mother swooning from his response. "Well thank you very much, sweetie can you show him where to place them, just next to the sink is fine" she says to me and I nod, looking up at him and nodding my head towards the direction of the kitchen.

Once we've gone there and back from the table a few times I decide to just start loading up the dishwasher, trying to escape that mortifying conversation for as long as I can. "I brought your glass for you. Wasn't sure if you were planning to finish it or not" he says, walking over and placing my wine glass on the counter next to me. "Thanks" I say quietly, neither of us having said a word to each other since the very beginning of that dinner.

"Your parents are really sweet" he says, breaking the ice and clearly acknowledging how obvious they all were about their motives. "Yours too. I'm sorry about tonight" I say and his brows furrow, clearly not understanding why I would need to apologize. "I knew my mom would end up doing something like this but once her mind is made up there's no stopping her" I admit and he gives me a crooked smile in response.

"Don't worry, I knew what all of them were up to too. My mother was praising you so much and telling me how beautiful and smart and respectful you are so I had an inkling that this was their plan all along" he says and I turn away from him, trying to hide my flustered expression.

"She's right you know" he says, coming around to stand next to me, leaning against the counter while I face it, cleaning up the inside of the sink and grabbing the towel next to me to dry my hands.

"Right about what?" I question, now turning to face him and noticing just how close he's gotten. "About how beautiful you are" he says and I have to blink a few times, trying to figure out why this incredibly handsome man in my kitchen is flirting with me.

I just wanna thank past me because whatever I did in my last life must've been incredible if I'm being offered up a man as remarkable as he is.

"I-" I start but am soon interrupted by my mom walking in on us. "Y/n could you- oh! I'm sorry, as you were" she says, taking small backward steps out of the kitchen, keeping hers eyes on the two of us before turning around to walk back to the living room that they had moved to.

"I'm sorry about her" I say, taking a drink of my wine but he laughs it off. "It's alright, I don't mind" he says watching me with curious eyes as I polish off the rest of it. "Juni has taken a real liking to you" he says and my heart melts at the sound of her name.

"Really? She's probably the happiest child I've ever seen. I really like her too" I say and he smiles, no doubts memories over the years flashing through his head.

"You've done a really good job raising her Jungkook" I say, and his eyes flutter back to mine, this time being the first time I've spoken his name and it looks as if just that alone brought him so much satisfaction. "Thank you y/n" he says, and I feel my heart flutter, the deep baritone of his voice sending a shiver down my spine.

"Daddy can I have some cake?" we hear as Juni walks into the kitchen, "Can I have some cake..." Jungkook says, trailing off and waiting for those magic words. "Please?" she says, realizing what he had been getting at.

"Sure baby, Ms. y/n and I will bring it out in a second okay?" he says making her smile as she runs out of the kitchen "Thank you" she calls out over her shoulder leaving the two of us laughing at her enthusiasm.

"That's probably what my mom was coming in to ask us for" I say and he nods in agreement, helping me carry everything out so we can all have a slice of the small cake my mom had gotten for tonight. "How much you want to bet that they sent Juni looking for us earlier too?" he whispers to me as we make our way over to where everyone else has gathered. "You might be right about that one" I whisper back, quickly catching onto all of their little games.

After setting the cake and all of the plates and forks down on the coffee table my mom takes on the task of cutting it up and serving it, with the very first piece going to little Miss Juni. "Thank you!" she says, eyes wide as saucers leaving all of us cooing at her. "Eat slow Juni" Jungkook reminds her, no doubt having troubles with her eating her desserts too quickly.

I take on the task of helping my mother hand out the slices and once I give one to Jungkook I finally notice that the only empty seat is right next to him and he looks down at it before looking back up at me in a silent invitation to sit down and I take it cautiously.

The couch that we're sitting on is kind of a love seat ironically, seeing as the whole theme of tonight is trying to set us up with each other.

Once I've sat down I realize that I've sat right next to him to the point of where my shoulder ended up bumping into his. "Oh! I'm sorry" I say, scooting away from him but with the size of the couch I don't really end up moving all that much. "It's okay I don't mind" he says, before taking a bite of his cake and turning to face the rest of the group.

The seven of us continue talking and talking until we notice that Juni has fallen asleep in her grandma's lap. "Here mom let me take her" Jungkook says, standing up but both my mom and his stand up and wave him off. "That's okay, we're just gonna go put her down in y/n's room" my mom says and before he's able to say otherwise they've disappeared down the hallway.

"Does she have school tomorrow?" I ask once he's settled back down. "No, she's on spring break right now until next Monday" he relays and I nod my head. "And what about you? Do you work tomorrow?" I ask and he gives me a shy smile before responding. "I had a shoot scheduled in the morning but we went ahead and pushed it to the afternoon so I don't have to worry about going home anytime soon" he says and my heart skips a beat.

"No, I mean, well I don't want to keep you for too long. You probably have other things you'd like to get done tonight?" I ask and he shakes his head. "No, this is the only thing I have planned for the night so I guess you're stuck with me" he chuckles. "I didn't mean to make you feel like I wanted you to leave I just-"

"It's okay I know what you meant" he laughs and I now take notice that we're the only ones left in the room. "Oh! Where did my dad go?" I ask, my eyes darting this way and that, not even being able to hear his voice.

"I think I heard something about them setting up the fire pit? I'm not sure but he's outside with my dad right now" he says and I spy both of them looking through the glass door before quickly ducking out of view once they realize they've been spotted.

"Maybe we should head out there" I say but he cuts off that thought by asking me a question that keeps me frozen on the spot. 

"Is there a reason why you don't want to be alone with me?" he asks, arm now having been draped around the back of the couch a while ago, completely unknown to me making this all seem a lot more intimate than before.

"Who said that?" I chuckle nervously, clearing my throat before sinking back into my seat. "You just did" he says, nodding towards me and I feel like I want to crawl in a hole and die. I thought I could escape this night without being awkward like this but I guess not.

"You trying to get rid of me?" he teases and I shake my head right away, "No I'm sorry I just-" "It's okay, I'm only joking" he says and I laugh nervously. "So why don't you tell me about yourself?" he says, giving me the most open ended question ever and I scramble to find something but I just can't seem to come up with anything interesting enough to mention.

"Well, my parents pretty much said everything there is to know about me over dinner earlier" I say and he shakes his head. "I want to hear something about you from you. Like what are some of your hope, your dreams, something you're passionate about" he says, being a little more specific this time.

"My dreams?" I trail off, thinking for a second and he watches me as I wrack my brain for something notable. "It's kind of silly" I admit once I've settled on something. "Good thing I've got a sense of humor" he replies, trying to encourage me to continue. 

"Well, I've always wanted one of my photos to be on the cover of TIME magazine" I admit and see his eyes light up. "I have a similar dream" he says and my eyes widen in surprise turning my body to face him, wordlessly asking him to share his too. 

"I'd like one of mine to end up on the cover of National Geographic" he relays and I smile in turn. "That would be perfect for you! Well, since the subject you love to capture the most is nature I could definitely see your work fitting right in!" I say, excited to see someone else who's trying to aim as high as I am.

"And I could see yours being a shoe in for TIME as well" he says, and I shy away from his praise. "Okay and what's something you're passionate about, and don't say photography" he says, interrupting me causing me to slump down, having to take another second to come up with an answer. 

He chuckles a bit at my reaction and I glare at him causing him to smile at me even more so look up to the celling as if it had the answers to something interesting about me. 

"Well, I really love reading. I know it might not seem like a passion but when I read a really good book and I find someone who has read it or will at least let me talk about it it's as if I gain a boost of energy and can't contain my excitement. That's definitely the nerdy side of me showing but that's all I can really think of at the moment" I say honestly and when I look back at him it's as if he thought I was the most fascinating thing he's ever seen. 

"Sorry, I think I got a little carried away there" I say, getting shy from being looked at like that, his soft gaze an expression I'm not used to, especially from someone I just met. "Um, your turn" I say, hoping to get some of the spotlight off of me. 

"I know this might be cheating but I do enjoy taking video and editing them. Even if it were as simple as filming Juni for an afternoon, it's something that if given the chance, would be something I could be extremely passionate about" he says and although it is cheating since it's somewhat similar to photography, I'll let it slide. 

"Have you thought about switching up your profession to include video as well as pictures?" I ask and he nods before answering. "I have but I haven't taken enough time to seriously consider it. Juni is still young and I want to make sure I have a stable income in order to take care of her and if I'm being honest I feel almost as if a career change could jeopardize that" he says and I watch him with the same intent that he had given me and he too seems to shy away from it. 

"It's silly since it would probably be a seamless transition but I can't help but feel reservations towards it" he says and I place my hand on top of his that's in his lap. 

"It's normal for a parent to worry about providing for their child. I don't think it's silly at all and it shows how much you truly care about Juni and her well being. She's lucky to have you as her father" I say and he cringes only for a moment before his expression goes back to a softer one. I want to ask what would've warranted a reaction like that but I leave it alone. 

"Okay your turn, what is something you hope for?" he asks and I already know the answer to it but I'm hesitant to say. I take a second to try and figure out how to formulate it properly but decide to just go for it. 

"I hope to be a mother and have children of my own someday. Doesn't matter if it's naturally or through adoption, I just hope to have someone I can love and care for unconditionally and watch them as they grow and change and pray I'll receive that love and care back from them" I say and he gives me a wary expression and I quickly try to backtrack, not knowing if I've messed up or not. 

"I'm sorry that was probably extremely insensitive of me" I say, pulling away my hand but he holds onto it and gives me a sad smile before responding. "I think you would be a wonderful mother. If you were to give your children even half the time and attention you've given to Juni today they would still be incredibly lucky to call you their mother" he says, reassuring me that it's okay to talk about these topics around him. 

"Last one?" I question, seeing if he's up to telling me something he's hopeful for. "I just hope that no matter what my family and friends stay happy and healthy. It might be simple but I enjoy the simple things in life" he says and I smile, seeing how truly kind and compassionate he is just from his simple answer. "That's a good answer" I say and we both chuckle a bit before we're broken out of yet again another moment by the sound of our mothers stumbling into the room. 

"Oh don't let us bother you we're just going to head outside with your father" Jungkook's mom says to him and I can see now from the warm glow shining through the glass door that they've finally started up the fire pit. 

"Oh we'll come outside too!" I say and try to get up off the loveseat. I'm able to stand but immediately lose my balance and feel a strong set of hands on my hips and end up falling into Jungkook's lap. "I-" I start, turning towards him and trying to get out an apology but stop short when I see how close his face is to mine, our noses almost touching. 

I hear our mothers head outside quickly and close the door but neither of us pay any mind, both focused on each other to the point where neither of us move for what feels like forever but was only a matter of seconds. When I do try to get up I feel his grip on me tighten. 

"I'm s-sorry, this couch is always difficult to get off of" I explain and he smiles. "Like I said before, you have nothing to apologize for" he says, his voice a bit deeper than before and it takes every fiber of my being to stop myself from looking at his lips but when I see his flutter down to mine I can't help but do the same. 

"Daddy, why is Ms. y/n sitting on your lap?" we hear Juni say and I immediately get off of him and throw my face in my hands, trying to hide the embarrassment written all over me but Jungkook handles it like a champ. 

"Ms. y/n just fell down Juni and I caught her. You know how I catch you sometimes before you fall?" he offers and she walks over to us, rubbing her eyes and immediately climbing onto Jungkook's lap. "Oh okay" she says, yawning again after Jungkook places a kiss on the crown of her head. 

"Do you wanna go see the fire that grandpa and Ms. y/n's dad made?" he asks and she hums in approval, still half asleep but wanting to go outside with everyone. "Okay let's go" he says, standing up with Juni in one arm and holding his hand out to help me up. I glare up at him and he smiles, knowing he's added to my embarrassment but I take his hand anyways and he makes no moves to let go once I'm up on my feet, walking us all towards the back door. 

Once we're outside though that's when he lets go so he can hold Juni properly while he walks down the patio steps so we can get to the fire pit. 

"Juni woke up?" his mother asks and Jungkook nods. "Yeah she wanted to come outside with everyone even though she is still very very sleepy" he says, talking in a silly sweet voice that makes Juni pout although her eyes are still closed. "I'm not sleepy" she says mid yawn causing me to coo at her and when she realizes I'm still close by she sits up off of Jungkook's chest and reaches towards me. 

I look between her and Jungkook for a second and he nods his head in approval and hands her to me, grabbing a chair afterwards for me to sit on and pulling up another one next to mine and looks over at Juni to see she's practically sound asleep again. "Are you okay with her?" he asks and I hum in approval leaving him placing another kiss on Juni's head before leaning back in his chair. 

"So Jungkook, what do you think of my daughter?" my mother asks and Jungkook chokes on air, not expecting the straightforward question. "Mom!" I scold and she chuckles, "What? It's a simple question. No need to give a complex answer, unless he wants to" she teases and I swear I can even hear Jungkook's dad chuckling at my mother's antics. 

They couldn't make it more obvious that they're trying to set us up even if they tried. 

My dad luckily somewhat comes to Jungkook's aide and hands him a bottle of water to hopefully help him stop coughing which it does thankfully.

He takes a second to clear his throat and I would be lying if I said I wasn't on edge, waiting to hear what his answer might be. "I think she is a very kind hearted and very intelligent young woman" he says simply and the echos of him calling me beautiful earlier on tonight attach to the end of that. 

"And would you like to see her again?" she continues and he then looks over at me, giving me a soft smile and glancing down at Juni before looking me in the eyes again. "We've already planned to see each other again" he says, memories of Juni's invitation to the butterfly shopping trip fluttering through my mind again. 

"Did you hear that? Jungkook has already asked to see her again" my mom says, calling over to Jungkook's mom as if she hadn't been listening the whole time. "Well technically Juni asked if I could go shopping with them" I explain and Jungkook chuckles. "Juni is a very smart girl" my mother compliments and Jungkook and I can't help but laugh. 

The rest of the night flies by and before I know it we're already standing in the doorway saying goodbye. "It's was so nice seeing you again y/n! I hope to be seeing you again soon" Jungkook mom says, winking at me. "Oh come on honey leave the girl alone" Jungkook's dad says, coming to my aide and saying his goodbyes as well. 

Jungkook's parents say a quick goodbye to Jungkook and Juni as well since they came in separate cars and I notice after that my dad pulls Jungkook aside and says something that I regretfully can't make out. Luckily he doesn't seem bothered by it as they smile and shake hands before my dad pats him on the back, sending him off with I can only assume is well wishes. 

Jungkook says goodbye to my mother and I can tell how much she's praising him, he thanks her for everything and makes his way over to me a few moments later and it's almost as if it was a ghost town with only Jungkook and I in the entryway now, with him holding a still very sleepy Juni in his arms. 

"Thank you for coming, I know this was probably a lot for you" I say, rocking back and forth on my heels and he smiles before answering. "I had fun, and I know Juni did too" he says and I can feel my heart skip a beat, "I did too" I reply shyly. He reaches into his pocket and unlocks his phone before handing it to me.

"Do you think I could have your number? You know, so we can set up that shopping day soon? I know Juni won't be able to stop talking about it until we go" he says, turning into what I could only describe as a shy teenage boy, asking his crush for her number. "Sure" I say, putting it in and calling my number so I have his too. 

"Let me know when you get home safe" I say and place my hand on Juni's back and whisper a quick goodbye which regrettably stirs her awake and I mouth a quite sorry to Jungkook but he smiles in response. 

"Wanna say goodbye to Ms. y/n?" Jungkook asks and she nods her head before opening her eyes and leaning towards me to give me a kiss on the cheek leaving me speechless. "Goodnight pretty lady" she mumbles before laying back down on Jungkook's chest. He chuckles after seeing my reaction and gives Juni a kiss on her head in response. 

"Goodnight y/n" he whispers to me and I send him the same sentiment, walking him to the door and watching as he walks over to his car while he puts Juni in her carseat. He looks back to see if I'm still watching and smiles at me again before getting in his car and driving off. 

"So should I schedule an appointment with the caterers tomorrow or...?" I hear my mother say behind me, making me jump before taking a few steps back into the house and closing the door. "Very funny mom" I say, walking over to the living room and plopping down on the couch Jungkook and I had been sharing a couple hours ago. 

"What's wrong? He's a nice man isn't he? Plus his daughter seems like she loves you! Why don't you give it a shot?" she asks and I sigh, sinking further back into the couch. "I don't know, I just don't want to get my hopes up" I mumble and she sits next to me, placing a comforting hand on my thigh. "What makes you say that?" she asks curiously.

"It's almost as if he's too perfect. He's handsome, charming, charismatic, a great dad and I don't know, he just seems too good to be true" I admit and she nods her head, understanding my hesitation. "Everyone puts their best foot forward when they're meeting someone for the first time. Just go out with him and Juni in a few days and keep an open mind. It's not the fact that he has Juni that's holding you back right?" she questions, trying to figure out what exactly has got me doubting. 

"No not at all! If anything Juni is an added bonus" I say truthfully and she smiles at me. "Good, because I think she's already become very attached to you" she says and I nod my head. "Yeah I think I have too" I mumble and she claps her hands, jolting me out of my train of thought. 

"Now all we have to do is get a ring attached to that finger and the three of you can live happily ever after" she says, getting up to clean up the cake plates that sit on the coffee table in front of us. 

"Mom" I groan and she laughs, "I want some beautiful grandchildren and if that handsome young man can't help you give them to me then I don't know who could" she continues leaving me sighing, not bothering to argue back since she is definitely right about that one. 

I hear my phone chime in my purse moments later after I walk into my bedroom to gather up my things to go back home and see a message from an unknown number but check my call log and see that the numbers match up from when I called myself off Jungkook's phone. 

I quickly add him to my contacts before opening up our chat and see a short but sweet message from him. 

'Home safe and sound. Thanks for having us tonight. Hope to see you soon?' he sends with a question mark at the end, clearly still wanting to double check on if I'll actually want to see them again. I wait a few seconds, my thumbs hovering over the keyboard before finally composing a message and hitting send before I chicken out. 

'See you soon Jungkook. I really enjoyed getting to know you and Juni. Looking forward to shopping for butterflies together!' I say and cringe once I reread it. 'Ugh could I possibly sound more desperate?' I say to myself and toss my phone on the bed, sitting down at the computer chair across from it. 

A minute later I hear another message come in and I practically lunge for the phone, praying I didn't weird him out but moments later I feel heat rushing to my cheeks and have to will myself into not squealing.

'We're counting down the minutes until we can see you again. Let's talk tomorrow and set up a date and time'  he says and I rush to respond. 

'Sounds great! Goodnight Jungkook'  I say, ending the conversation before I end up embarrassing myself even more but before I can even lock my phone his message pops up. 

'Goodnight y/n, sweet dreams' the message is so simple but it still makes me smile. 

"Is that Jungkook texting you?" my mom asks, poking her head into the room and I quickly lock my phone and grab my purse. "Yes it is, goodnight mom" I say, walking past her and straight to the front door with her trailing after me. "Oh come on sweetie you know I'm just teasing you. I really think he's going to be a good match for you" she says and I turn to face her before I leave. 

"I really hope so. Say goodnight to dad for me" I say giving her a kiss on the cheek and getting in my car to drive home. 

~~~~

Once I walk in I'm greeted again by Salem and he walks up, waiting for me to pick him up. "You're such a little baby you know that?" I chuckle and he meows in response. 

I follow the same routine as I always do, carrying him with me into my room and rambling off to him about my day before hopping in the shower but this time I have a lot more to say, leaving me wasting half the hot water and causing me to have to finish up the last bit of my shower in a freezing cold stream. 

After finishing up and finally settling into bed I lay down and Salem curls up next to me. "Things might be changing around here boy. I only hope they're for the better, what do you think?" I ask after having told him everything and I'm met with the feeling of him purring and if that isn't a good sign then I don't know what is. 

"I hope he likes cats" I say, giving him one last pet before turning off the light and for the first time in a very long time I can finally say I've gone to sleep feeling content. The last thought that runs through my head is one that helps me fall asleep with a soft smile on my face. 

I can't wait to see him again...

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[grandlinedreams]

|| hey remember that thing I said abt boot riding and condescending, mean Coop :)

|| notes: unestablished timeline, could be seen as pre or post s1, reader can be whatever they want, waves hand something something idk man I've got it so bad for this guy also HEY. MDNI. BIG TIME. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

|| warnings: pretty much pwp, oral (m receiving), cum eating/swallowing, cursing, boot riding, Cooper is mean, hair pulling, afab reader i guess

Cooper isn't sure if it's the oppressive heat, the lack of decent drinking water or food that isn't roasted radroach to blame for your attitude, or if it's something else entirely ㅡ but you've found his last nerve over the last couple hours and are determined to rip it to shreds.

Part of him says he could save himself some long term trouble and put a bullet in your head, but he won't for two reasons. One, that's a waste of ammo. And two, he likes having you around.

You're a good companion, when you aren't in such a piss-poor mood. But it's that mood that's the current issue ㅡ and so, Cooper comes up with his own solution when you get just a little too mouthy for his liking.

"Come on now sweetheart," he grunts, voice low as he watches you, "you can take it, can't you?"

Your answer is garbled for the length currently occupying your mouth, tip of him pushed far enough that it threatens to gag you. Cooper doesn't think he's seen anything prettier than the tears in your eyes over his cock in your mouth.

He groans when you swallow around him, fists a hand tight into your hair to guide you ㅡ and the way you squirm also catches his attention. But one thing at a time, and he isn't about to give you whatever it is you think you deserve until after he's done.

He tells you so, eyes glinting as you whine around him, sound silenced by the rough jerk of his hips. "Come on, sweet thing," he coos, mocking as he cups your chin, thumbs at the bead of drool that slides from the corner of your mouth, "not gettin' shit if you can't behave."

This isn't the first time he's been in your mouth, nor will it be the last ㅡ but the pitiful look on your face only furthers his pleasure as he bucks, listens as you choke and gag around him.

His head tips back as you suck, fist tightening in your hair as you slide your tongue over the underside of him, the steady pulse as his breath hitches a little. "Fuck," he huffs, "see? Told you I'd find somethin' for you to do with that mouth of yours other than bitch."

You squirm again, thighs rubbing together to try and give yourself a little friction as his already rough rhythm turns choppier ㅡ and then he's spilling down your throat with a low groan that only adds to your own arousal.

Cooper pulls free of your mouth and watches as you swallow before he tucks himself away and snorts when you give him an expectant look. "What's that for, sugar? Never promised I was gonna help you out."

Your lips part like you want to protest, but he's right ㅡ he'd never said he was going to do anything afterwards. He smirks, makes a show of debating before he crouches in front of you, tips your chin up so he can meet your eyes.

"Poor thing, did suckin' me off get you that hot and bothered?" Your cheeks flush, and his amusement grows. "I guess I can help you out. But we're doing this my way, hm?" You blink, watching as he moves to settle a little ways away, then gestures. "Well? C'mere, babydoll."

Cooper watches you, tracking you as you settle over him in his lap. He reaches for you, pulls you flush to him before he cups your face with gloved hands. "You wanna get off so bad, you'll take whatever I give you, hm?"

Your cheeks burn, betraying you as you nod and listen to him click his tongue, sizing you up before he leans to kiss you. It'd almost be sweet were it not for the way he anchors you to keep you from withdrawing, muffling your soft noises before pulling away.

"Alright, sweetheart," he breathes, "I'll give you somethin'."

ㅡ

"Come on sweetheart, I thought you wanted this."

Your cheeks blaze, a mix of embarrassment and arousal as your hips rock, bitten off whine that makes Cooper snicker as he watches you rut against his boot. The dusty leather is far from what you'd been expecting, but Cooper had been adamant ㅡ either you got off on his boot or you didn't get off at all.

He at least pushes it against you, offers that modicum of reciprocation beyond the dark, hungry way he watches you grind against the only thing he's willing to offer.

The edge of it digs against the ache of your core, makes you groan and grind down harder.

"Look at you, honeybunch," Cooper drawls, determined to keep up a steady stream of commentary and make this all the worse for you, "that needy for me you're willing to hump my boot like a bitch in heat. Pathetic."

It should annoy you, but all the insult does is send heat curling in your veins to join the needy, sticky slick between your legs as you whimper and continue moving. Your thighs ache, your head spins with the way you're panting ㅡ but you're so close.

Cooper knows it to, doesn't miss a beat as he listens to you whimper, noises arching to something more pitched before you're shuddering, rocking your hips in rough, tiny little movements before you're panting, body trembling with the force of your orgasm.

"See, sugar? Wasn't so hard, was it?" His tone and words are a playful taunt, one that has you glaring at him.

"Fuck you."

Cooper grins, eyes dark. "That's the plan, babydoll."

[anli-rambles]

Idk if the writers intended it or not but the amount of cognitive dissonance between what Haytham says and what he does is so telling of the kind of person he was raised to be. Birch succeeded in making him talk like a Templar, but his actions contradict pretty much everything Haytham claims to stand for. It's as if the brainwashing ran deep enough to make Haytham lack self-awareness but not enough to completely destroy what Edward was able to teach him before he died. Connor points it out verbatim right before they meet up with Washington too. "You've talked a great deal but you've shown me nothing."

Haytham says he wants order but he's just about as chaotic as his father was when he was younger. He says Connor's talks of "freedom" and "free will" are nonsense but literally every time we see him aside from the opening sequences, he's going off on his own, doing God-knows-what without telling any of the other Templars, he drops everything on the spot to go camping with his girlfriend, hell he even murdered a Templar Grandmaster for personal revenge (when revenge has been the driving force between many of the protagonists we've had so far like Ezio, Connor, Arno, Bayek, heck even Kassandra to some degree, while the Templars claim to be above this kind of stuff). He went against Lee's plans to have Connor executed because he felt like it. (The line in his journal is literally "I won't let my son die today.") He says he wants purpose and direction and yet never has a plan for whatever he's doing. He's exactly like Edward on that front, essentially bullshitting his way through everything and hoping it all works out (and it often doesn't). That man has never had purpose or direction in his entire life, and the moment someone tries to tell him what to do, he actively chooses to do the opposite because he doesn't follow orders (and if he does, it's on his own terms).

When Haytham realized he didn't hold the key to the Precursor site, he chose to drop it altogether, because he knew too many would have to die for the cause and it wasn't worth it. Do you mean to tell me people like Vidic, the Borgias, Germain, heck even Torres (who's by far the most reasonable Grandmaster we've encountered in the series besides François de la Serre, maybe) went to impossible lengths to get to the Observatory — do you think any of these men would've just... stopped ? Because more people would have to die ? (The answer is no. William Johnson was willing to commit mass murder just to buy the land the site was on — which by the way Haytham had no idea about (the mass murder part, I mean) until after the fact and he was very angry about it.)

Which is also pretty telling about how involved he is in all of this. He didn't know about what Johnson was planning because he couldn't even be bothered to hold yearly meetings for like 15 years.

In his journal, you can see how he progressively starts to despise every Templar he's working with. He endorses Lee out loud but his thoughts about the guy are that he's "too British to be a good representative for the American people" and he's actually pretty pessimistic about his chances to supplant Washington. He doesn't even believe in what he says about Lee, like, ever (which is why I say it really looks like he's endorsing Lee as an act of sabotage because it really feels like it sometimes.) His Templar kill count is also higher than Connor's — Juan Vedomir, the unnamed mercenary with a West Country accent, Edward Braddock, John Harrison, Reginald Birch, Benjamin Church and Nicholas Biddle (although the game never showed it, the fact that Church and Biddle died only days apart while both in the Caribbean means that Haytham was with Connor on the Aquila when he killed Biddle, so he's at least complicit in his murder.)

Haytham says he's a man with Templar ideals and an Assassin background but to me it feels like the opposite. He's a man with a Templar background and Assassin ideals, but the grooming started so young that even killing Birch couldn't undo the damage that man had done. I think Haytham realized that by the end and that's why he let Connor kill him.

[twsted-kinks]

TWST Dick and Pussy Headcanons (NSFW)

>minor and ageless DNI<

I gonna basically give me headcanons/thoughts on character genitals. Each guy's gonna get a dick and a pussy headcanon because I both are good. Also, if I start with dick I think lean towards them having a dick and vice versa with cunt. Some characters are 50/50.

Content warning: Descriptions of genitals. Includes terms dick, cock, cunt, pussy. May include kinky stuff idk yet but bdsm and piss is always possible.

Parts: Heartslabyul (here), Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia & Ignihyde, Pomefiore, Diasomnia

Riddle

Dick

King babydick with the smallest dick in the cast. He's got a cute cut cock that is barely over 2 inches long (~6cm) fully erect and he has cute little balls. You can fit his cock and balls in your mouth easily. He has barely any pubic hair and it's super thin and hard to see. He doesn't have a really high libido but it's easy to get him going. It's super easy to get him hard with simple teasing (though he's so small you never see a tent), and he cums even easier. A heated makeout session will make him cum his pants in less than a minute, or simply pulling his cock out and having your face near his dick will make him cum. Also, he barely shoots any cum and runs dry quickly. He can easily still have dry orgasms. May also accidentally piss himself if overestimated.

Pussy

Riddle's cunt is tight and his clit is tiny. It would take a lot to actually prep him, but you can also just shove a cock/strap into him with no prep and he'll cum on the spot. Squirts super easily and squirts a lot. If he squirts too much though he will piss himself. His upper pussy area has thin pubes and covers his clit. His lips have to be spread to actually see his little sensitive clit.

Ace

Dick

Got a pretty average cut dick just a bit over 4 inches long (~11 cm) with a messy ring of pubes and a short happy trail. He has decent sized balls and produces a decent amount of cum. His tip and urethra are very sensitive, but he knows nothing about sounding. If you introduce it to him he'd be terrified at first, he but eventually wants to try it out. You help him discover how much if a masochist he is, and eventually he gets super into light CBT with you. Loves when you slap his cock his balls.

Pussy

Again pretty average with some pubic hair. A masochist who likes to get his pussy slapped. Rarely squirts if at all. Actually prefers to get fucked unprepared because he likes the stretch and pain. Put a metal clip on his clit and tug. He'll cum instantly.

Deuce

Dick

Kinda below average length coming in slightly below 5 inches long (~12 cm), but he is girthy. You're gonna need to prep to take him. He has a good amount of pubic hair that's not really thin or thick. He doesn't trim but he does keep his pubes clean. He normally doesn't get hard to easily, but teasing him is an easy way to rile him up. I see Deuce as being more vanilla, but he likes to please his partner. If you introduce him to kinks, he'll eventually get turned on by just the mention or idea of them because he associates them with you.

Pussy

Again pretty average. He isn't super stoked about receiving penetration and would rather use a strap on you, but he also wants to try it and he trusts you. He'll let you fuck him from time to time but he needs a lot of prep and reassurance cause he still finds it scary.

Cater

Pussy

Major switch verse vibes with a cute trimmed pussy perfect for pics and videos. He doesn't squirt easily, but he knows exactly what to do to make himself squirt and he can squirt A LOT. And not just the number of times. Has a lot of volume and you may accidentally drown yourself going down on him if you're not careful. He definitely begs for you to let him have the dildo you fuck him with/begs to do a clone dildo kit so he has a copy of your cock. Will send you videos of himself using it and moaning your name. Also a size queen no matter what parts he has, and he us sharing his dildo collection with you.

Dick

Major switch verse vibes with a cute cut cock to match. His uncut dick is about 5 inches (~13 cm) that curves straight up. He has some pubes that he keeps clean and trimmed. Definitely has a secret anonymous account somewhere where he posts dick pics and other lewd images with his face blurred. Has a bit of a following and is totally up for including you in on it if you want. Totally sexts you at night. He also sometimes uses his duplicates to fuck or fuck himself with (it's basically masturbation right?). May send you videos of him fucking himself.

Trey

Dick

Trey has a nice uncut cock of roughly 6 inches (~15 cm) that curves to the side. His has thick pubes but they're cleaned and trimmed regularly. He can't really go more than two rounds, but he is more than willing to give head. His cumshots are also thick and are big in volume. Definitely more of a top but really enjoys fronting against your dick/fucking between your folds. He loves cumming on you more than I you just because he loves seeing your body covered in his cum.

Pussy

Has a nice fupa (fat upper pussy area) covered in thick trimmed pubic hair. He has a rather large clit he loves to get sucked. Prefers to have his clitbplayed with over penetrative sex, but not fully against penetration. You'll just have to be slow and gentle with him of you want to fuck his cunt. He doesn't really squirt, but you can definitely try and see if he's able too. He'd prefer to wear a strap and fuck you though. But his favorite has to be 69ing because he loves giving you head and loves getting head.

[theesteemedladydebourgh]

Any chance of TFTDC chapter 8 this month? 🥺 this fic is just TOO good!!

ah, possibly! (and thank you ❤️)

I’ve actually been thinking of trying out something new with TFTDC, so I’ll put it to you guys for opinions: I’ve been shown time and time again that writing the massive, ~40k chapters is just not possible with my lifestyle these days, which is completely different from what it was when I was posting TFTDC regularly (blame the work industry I do 😭). It’s also often the thing that stops me from working on it, because I write chapters in short bursts, and I never feel I have enough time to do the whole thing, so I just don’t attempt it even when I have a day or two to write.

So…I’ve been thinking of possibly splitting the chapters into shorter segments? Meaning 3-4 parts per month of the story. Maybe around 6-10k each (roughly). I don’t want it to feel disjointed, and it would be a bit of a challenge for me to fit the story around this in a way that leaves natural breaks, but I’m sure I could manage it.

If I did do that, either the story would just continue on with more chapters (but no change to the content or overall length of the fic, just to clarify!), and maybe eventually when my life sorts itself out I could go back to fewer and longer chapters, or maybe not! I’d just see where it went.

Idk, it’s entirely up to you guys 💕 I like the longer chapters in terms of theme, but I have to come to terms with the fact that if I stick with that, it could be a very long time (possibly years) before I have enough time to devote to writing them.

Let me know!

xx Ange

[grievedifferent]

CHRIS 4 JOSH? let's talk about it ... and let's be honest.

read more for length only, it's all pretty sfw and non-triggering content.

speaking with otter first and foremost, here are her thoughts on the matter:

for context, she has a degree in video game art & design, so she knows the entire pipeline for how video games were and are made currently. she actually graduated like right around when UD came out, so this is perfect because she also helped me understand some of the modeling and why the original game is just honestly more fluid in mechanics versus the remake, so i've been giving the remake a pass in a lot of big ways and just sort of accepting everything else as is in conjunction with the original game (and in our case, the 2013 prototype).

basically, she said it originally looked like this is what likely happened: a texture artist was given permission to do a heart, someone else or that same artist put in CHRIS + JOSH and basically whoever was in charge of them (i have no names for this) likely said "you absolutely cannot confirm a fan ship, it's not happening" which is why it became CHRIS 4 JOSH. otter was explaining how the 4 looks a little off like it wasn't there originally but more of something to replace what was underneath. like a 4 covering a +.

still likely meant to be a joke, maybe it could go so far as to that texture artist shipping it, but either way, it was never going to make it into the official game as a way to be interpreted as josh and chris are canon. i know the app contradicts one major thing for chris and ash because the game itself literally confirms they both like each other in various scenes and context clues and all of that content we get in-game for them.

based on my own time being in school for video games, this makes a lot of sense. i might not have finished, but i did learn this lol. so, what she's saying is pretty on point. that's how companies are, even if it's "supermassive" ... they are working under sony.

so, does it mean anything? not really. i know this was probably huge for the other side of the UD fandom (i see it being two sides: rpc and non-rpc, which can be similar but are generally very different ... in-between those spaces are typically the fanfic writers and then the sub-genre of reader insert fanfic writers if that makes sense? anyways). but it really means nothing.

it's just a little easter egg. if we want to look into it at all? it was likely done by chris (otherwise it would say josh 4 chris if it was from josh), and also ... i know this sounds probably so lame, but that's just how guys are. they act like that, especially if you're super comfortable with a long-term friend. people have probably wondered about it based on how close and jokey they can act, they don't seem like the type to "shy away" from any sort of intimacy, especially for a joke, and idk, they're just like that? that's pretty normal.

HOWEVER ... where this gets even more interesting for me is this part: bringing in the 2011-2013 prototype, the game that was being pumped out for demos and such before supermassive did an entire rehaul of the original 2010 game (so, this is not london studio's project anymore, it hasn't been for a while, and their original iteration actually had hannah and josh as a couple named hannah and clayton).

why is this interesting? i've mentioned before several things about that prototype specifically: a) mike and chris never changed from design to actor, they were always solid (so it's weird to not even consider using their old voice banks for new content for the 2024 remake but okay??), b) this had originally intended (all the way back to london studio) to really be a "couples game" that "couples play together", giving the controller back and forth, and c) the fact that sam clearly liked josh in the original iteration, josh did not feel the same, but he had basically the same relationship with chris, who seemed to still like ash and vice versa, but josh also had a pretty high energy by comparison both in general to rami's josh and also to specifically chris in comparison to (that verison of) sam.

let's dig into 'c' a bit more. the sam and josh problem. it's not really a "problem" but i think there's somewhat of a general misunderstanding as to what their relationship is realistically like based on their connections and affiliations over what is sort of "expected of them".

here's what we know for facts:

sam and josh know each other, we can maybe assume from childhood or middle school era, but long enough for sam to be considered hannah's best friend.

which brings me to my next point: sam is hannah's best friend, not josh's. not even "hannah and beth's best friend". she is hannah's best friend. this is josh's little sister's best friend. i have to reiterate this because i see this huge sort of blackhole when it comes to this fact about sam and hannah. this is literally sam's entire tagline! even the game sort of forgets that sometimes? sam actually somewhat harshly criticizes hannah in her bedroom, something that is only open to sam and no one else. i'm not sure where this idea that sam is there for josh when she should be there for hannah. you can also tell sam and josh weren't that close over that year because she needs chris to confirm that a) this entire getting back together is a good idea and b) if josh is doing okay. if they were close, wouldn't she know? also, josh wasn't that close to anyone besides seemingly chris? which sort of makes sense but even he only lets chris see certain sides of himself. so, they aren't as close as people i think mistake them to be.

they were supposed to have something one-sided in the prototype before the finalized release. in the protoype, sam likes josh, but josh seems to not reciprocate. it's heavily hinted at when she flirts with him in the scene at the lodge door, which is very different but also somewhat the same as the version we get.

the finalized verison of sam (ie "hayden-sam") doesn't seem to have a crush on josh ("rami-josh") ... at least, from what i can tell. i think she actually feels somewhat uncomfortable around him, if we're being honest. maybe not before the prank, we can see they are comfortable together briefly in the new snapshots on the camera, but after? definitely so. this makes sense. they are somewhat avoiding each other. why would she go back there? both hannah and beth are dead, leaving josh.

finally: josh is hannah's older brother, thus acts as an older brother to the group ... sam included. this is literally in josh's characterization.

so, delving into probably headcanon territory here, and i'm not even going into my own sam headcanons ... basically, i think sam sees josh as an older brother and josh sees sam as a little sister figure. ik ik it's boring.

hear me out here: i think this was done simply because there are so many couples in the game already, which is so funny because it was supposed to be a couple's game but then got changed to a sort of "play alone or pass the controller".

now? UD is meant to be played either on your own or between multiple people, you can assign one person to each person you're playing with or just split the cast up the way otter and i do. it's more liberal and intentional to be that way versus its original intention. think about it: when you really start actually playing, there are two for sure couples, one maybe "will they won't they", and then two that aren't dating. that does feel more realistic just in general in a friend group, doesn't it? people date each other, break up, bring new members in, etc, but not everyone always dates everyone all the time.

also, i think just blanketed, supermassive wasn't even considering that likely at least one of those characters is probably gay or bisexual. until dawn is only so deep because it can only go so deep, and if they were going to go deep? it was going down the mental illness rabbit hole along with the background story they were trying to flesh together coupled with the mo-cap technology they were working with.

also, not to be that person, but life is strange came out in 2013 and kind of nailed it, right? they had their own set of issues they tackled incredibly well, whereas it doesn't really fit into UD. UD is about being a true "classic horror" story with the heavy use of intentional character tropes. so, give UD some grace here, i'd say.

cause let's get real for a second: there were so many last-minute changes while holding onto the threads of what they wanted. some stuff from the prototype for example is pretty shot-for-shot or word-for-word and some is super different. like ... im sorry, but the wolves aren't in the prototype (just as an example), so you can see how fast they decided to put those in because those wolves are literally broken animals.

back to sam and josh: taking my own headcanons aside, i don't think it's impossible to headcanon sam having a crush on josh at any point in her life that she knew him pre-UD. it's not uncommon, of course. he's classic older brother, he's fun, he's cute, he's friendly, and he's always around. again, while i think at least narratively they took that aspect of sam's character out when they cast hayden (she gives a much different, honestly better vibe for sam from the original actress, whereas ashley is like the same ngl), there is something to be said about not saying anything, i suppose. i just don't see it as something that was meant to be noticed, if that makes sense. not that it's not fitting? i guess?

but it's how josh feels, more the position he's in, that i sort of get caught up in why i'm sometimes hesitant with outright sam/josh with no plotting beforehand (as if it's canon). josh is the older brother. for him, there's sort of some lines he feels he isn't supposed to cross, trust he isn't supposed to break, and just sort of general boundaries? like, age isn't necessarily his factor here, it's literally how they met and how they know each other. it would be likely hurtful to hannah, probably awkward? i imagine?

so, is josh willing to cross his sister's comfort like that? yes, he lies to her ... about his mental health. it's never implied anywhere else that josh lies to hannah or beth about anything else. also, we can argue it's the parents hiding it from his sister's, wanting them to have a certain view of their brother.

then, post-death, we know there's a huge change in their relationship. josh and sam become distant, as i've discussed above.

with a lot of plotting and specifics, i could do it. just blanketed? or like ... how i see these characters without anyone else's interpretations in consideration? like just playing the game as is without even considering rpc? i don't see it.

so, what about josh and chris then? i'm not going to lie, i've only even recently come around to the idea, and even that comes off to me as still one-sided if it were ever even considered. likely? it would have been chris like ash, ash like chris, josh maybe likes chris? but that's so pushing it to assume supermassive would imply, though it's actually more sound for inferences in the prototype.

the chemistry josh and chris have is very natural. we can give that partially to the actors, of course, and partially to the writing. they have known each other a long time, and i've talked about it above how that's just how these types of guys are sometimes. they're just comfortable with each other.

so, even i'm just writing general headcanons without taking anyone else's specific interpretation in mind? i see it like this:

josh and chris? best friends from childhood.

chris and ash? the intended "will they / won't they" of the game.

josh and sam? older brother figure to younger sister figure (ie the friendship that can form with this type of bond, but likely nothing else).

but josh flirts with sam, remember? he infers he'd help her with the bath. he also calls mike and jess pornstars, says he wants to get friendly with ashley in the snow (and calls her a sleeper hit), etc. he's pretty mouthy about that sort of thing. it's just how he is. i guarantee if that were jessica in the bath, he'd say the same thing, and might even be more persistent about it (given that jessica is more playful than sam in that regard). however, were that emily in the bath? not a chance, he probably wouldn't have said anything tbh. i also write sam as a lesbian.

okay, so this is all "canon and great" and everything ... but what about me? what are my personal ships?

i can see so many with josh. i think that he's probably more gay than straight. he sees himself as open-minded.

does he lean more towards men or women? privately: sexually and romantically speaking, men. socially: women.

i have it that he chooses the "women make me uncomfortable" option when i play. i think this makes sense for josh.

why do women make him uncomfortable, but he socially pursues them? is he actually attracted to women? what is his sexuality for real? so, why women: it's socially understandable and acceptable. it's what he's relied on since puberty / actively encouraged to pursue since dating was on the table. he's with such a "bro" crowd — and so bro-coded both in being written that way narratively speaking while also just self-imposing that sort of role to himself ... while also naturally filling that role. his sexuality with labels: bisexual with a heavier male leaning preference, would be considered more demisexual when it comes to women. he is attracted to men romantically and sexually, and he is attracted to women, but there has to be a relationship fostered for it to be more romantic than sexual. i think he's fooled around with girls, but never had penetrative sex with them. he's likely never been with a guy, as he's very closeted, despite this being his active preference. women intimidate josh and make him uncomfortable.

further on him being more closeted despite being in the industry: josh has his family's reputation to consider. the world doesn't always agree that being bisexual is natural and non-offensive. he would be outright just called and labeled gay (which isn't entirely inaccurate but is not accurate). it could hurt his family. this isn't 2024, this is the 2010s, and yes it was getting "big" in the way we see acceptance now, but it wasn't so seen. people were (and still are) hiding. think of it like this: if josh has to hide his mental illness the way he does, he's likely having to hide his sexuality.

i think that's why the traits we do see in josh are so exacerbated because he has to stifle so much of himself down that the parts he's allowed to express become the loudest to hear.

all of that to get us here: my ships for josh.

personally? again, no other interpretations are considered necessarily, just ships i like based on various things from simply aesthetics to actual connections i can see them having.

what about chris/josh? honestly? i never even considered it until recently, and now that i have, it seems more obviously (if anything) one-sided by josh (the giver) to chris (the receiver). i don't think chris has ever consciously thought about it. josh (probably) has. as a default, however, i write them as bros. i do genuinely love their friendship. that being said, i do like it as a ship. i don't write my main plotlines with that in mind, though.

quickly: if anything, i think chris is the most compatible for josh (and vice versa). there is a lot of game evidence to support this, but that's for its own post.

josh/ashley -> this had always been my previous top ship for josh, but as more context becomes available via the remake and data mining the game, my opinions have swayed a bit, but i will always love joshley. it's a demi thing with them, i think. i also think josh is kind of jealous of ashley's relationship with chris (chapter 2 is called jealousy, and yes, that refers to the matt-mike-em-jess stuff but could be inferred to the trio), yet actively supports his bro, so doesn't really "get in the way". in fact, he encourages it.

josh/ashley/chris -> i see this as mostly ashley dating both chris and josh, maybe josh having some feelings for chris? from there, it's open-ended, but it's mostly "ashley has two boyfriends", and i am here for that. i love her.

additionally, i do ship chris/ashley. i like that josh is actively trying to get them together, and i think while it's for "nefarious reasons" or whatever you want to say when we see it in-game, josh is acting as a direct reflection to how he always has been ... so we can assume he's always been trying to get chris to make the move on ash.

josh/jess -> this is primarily aesthetically speaking, i think they just would look good together? opposites attract? pre-prank of hannah, it's definitely that ... opposites attract. he's not really her type, lbr, but she's probably his type in the way she's pretty ... but she is also intimidating to him. it's funny because, ultimately, that sort of confession to mike that jess gives about her insecurities would be very understood by josh (and actually matt, who i see as insecure), and i like all three of those boys with jess. yes, i hold jess accountable for the prank, but just character traits and such? i can see some vibes here. also! a lot of my fondness for this ship probably comes from post!verse stuff, like retribution, etc. honestly, i just like these two together not even romantically? i just want to see more of them interacting idk josh and jess are very contrasting characters that could go really well or horribly wrong together. also, i just have to say that i feel like there was some genuine interest when jess suggested that josh might be flirting with her and mike (jokingly) asked to basically have a threesome together, like she was kind of into it ngl.

why none of the other UD boys with josh? like mike and matt? we don't really see too much matt and josh unfortunately. i'm also a huge matt/jess shipper idk but i just don't see matt and josh being compatible, and i also write matt ... and i also write matt as straight, so. there's that aspect. but generally? i don't see it.

so, no em and josh? i literally do not have enough canonically to go by to even say what their default dynamic is like! they never talk!! like ever. so ... once i can establish with an emily writer what that is, i'd be more down to clown.

i can't with mike, either. i love mike btw, literally no shade to him, i don't think josh is the right fit for mike either by any means. mike is great at "handling" josh at his worst in a crisis (kind of? idk it depends sort of on the choices you make, but i get his vibe, i do get it) to get him from points a to b, but that's about it. mike also just comes off as very straight (to me).

all of that to say this: i generally write things as they are from the game unless there's a pretty good clue, inference, or some sort of thread i can unravel to make something make sense. it has to make sense for me, i'm just that type of person.

but ... with the right chemistry, plotting, and a bit of time? anything can happen. just because i default see something one way doesn't mean that i cannot be convinced otherwise ... or still hold that belief for the game itself but write enough development that i love something else in an rp sense. i'm a very "this is game, this is rp" and then from there, i take from the game to make the rp experience more game-like. does that make sense? did any of this make sense?

[some-pers0n]

character asks. Turtle, Indigo or Albatross wof? you don't have to do all of them :)

Oh I'm doin' them all alright

Turtle

How I feel About Them: Positive!! I've always really liked Turtle and related to him a lot in that regard. He's just a lil' guy and I think he's cute and sweet. Always had a soft spot for him

All the Characters I Ship Romantically with Them: none.

Non-Romantic OTP: TURTLEWATER!! QPR TURTLEWATCHER GRRRAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! Tearing apart the walls and frothing at the mouth theY'RE SO CUTEEEEE. Like they're just autism4autism and just GggrgrgrgRGGRGRGRGGR I love them,,,

Unpopular Opinion: Hm, I don't think I can really think of an unpopular opinion per se. I think my hottest take is that Turtle's refusal to change or act is a pretty interesting part of his character that is oftentimes ignored. A lot of things are his fault, namely Anemone's animus magic, just because he's scared of being witnessed and shoved into the spotlight. Tackling that sort of guilt and anxiety would be fun to see

One Thing I Wished Happened in Canon: Mhhh...hm. Well, not Turtlejou. Turtle is an aromantic character in my heart you cannot change that. I wished that stupid ass love spell never happened that's for sure

Indigo

How I feel About Them: Pretty nice! I wanted to make a fic about Indigo using this quirky silly AU where Turtle never realized that Indigo was still in the statuette and spent his entire life looking for her..only to then die and for Indigo to be released from it when Darkstalker's scroll burned. Indigo I don't think about too often, but when I do it's mainly about that scrapped fic. I could never figure out a proper plot to justify writing it lmao

All the Characters I Ship Romantically with Them: Fathom, duh. I'm not too terribly crazy about other ships, but yeah Fathigo you can't go wrong with

Non-Romantic OTP: Hmmm..again, I don't really think of Indigo too terribly much to form too many opinions on what her relationships are like. I do like her interactions with Clearsight though, those were fun

Unpopular Opinion: I don't think there's enough discussion around Indigo to even have an unpopular opinion. I guess it's that Indigo seems to fall pretty flat in terms of canon and especially fanon, where she's more or less relegated to being Fathom's love interest. I think she can be really interesting and fun, but I would like seeing more attention on her character. I think her relationship with Lagoon and Pearl and being a common SeaWing is neat. Same with her general attitude and trauma relating to Nearly Dying. Idk

One Thing I Wished Happened in Canon: Dunno uhhh... yeah. I think just more of her, but also she was pretty good already in canon

Albatross

How I feel About Them: THE GUY THE GUY THE GUYYYYYY!!! Killing him tossing him against the wall hugging him crying into his shoulder telling him everything will be okay stabbing him 5000 times with a spear pushing him into a ravine GRRRRRAHHHHHHHHH!!!

All the Characters I Ship Romantically with Them: 0. Aromantic Albatross the beloved

Non-Romantic OTP: My precious OC, Marlin. For some context, in my fic and general headcanon'd backstory for Albatross, his wife is named Marlin and such. I've already talked at length about Marlin but yeah :]] Love her

Unpopular Opinion: Albatross is what Darkstalker fans make Darkstalker out to be and then some

One Thing I Wished Happened in Canon: Albatross winglet. Where is it

[takeariskao3]

I read that post where you talk about Ginny sabotaging her relationship with Harry and you working on how Ginny thinks Harry sees her. It was really interesting. Is it asking for a tpfy spoiler to ask how Harry thinks Ginny sees him?

i think i can answer without *too* many spoilers 😉 

under the cut because length

diving into harry's head again has been one of the most fun parts of writing their story. he's an interesting guy, at least in terms of personality types. there's a lot of secrecy, a lot of avoiding conflict with the people he cares about, a lot of anticipating how his words/actions/feelings will be received before he decides to speak/act/show them. so the question actually ends up being "what does harry think his impact on ginny would/could/should be" and when his predicted "would be" conflicts with what he thinks it "should be" he removes himself from the situation.

we obviously see this in the og story with the stupid, noble breakup. and his following avoidance after the birthday kiss. he predicts what ginny's future will be if she is attached to him in any way and says nOPE I'M OUT because with his absence he thinks he can prevent harm.

i have taken ample liberties with this and heightened them a lot with their post-war storyline. but essentially what i wanted to convey with fred's funeral missing moment was that harry predicted his general state of Not Handling Things Well was going to be a burden to ginny, who in his opinion, was also not handling things well (hint: he's right) but instead of .. idk .... talking about their shared state of handling things he decides that he will go away until he can not be a burden to her.

ginny really is his main source of happiness, contentment, comfort, joy, fun. he tells us (the reader) this over and over and over again. so in my depiction, and after all the trauma, harry genuinely thinks he has no idea how to provide those things in return. he has no idea how to give parts of himself to her because he sees those parts as broken. his guilt, or self-loathing, or stunted emotional growth (possibly all three) convince him that he needs to be some healed, put together version of himself before he can be with her.

when in reality ginny could care less about any of that, she just wants him.

his emotional development arc is pretty much actualized. he's had his runaway relapses, and his big realization moments. he's had his mistakes pointed out to him and thought about what he could have done differently. so at this point, all that's left for him to do is buck up his courage and start having some candid conversations. something that ginny is NOT keen on doing at present. so it will be fun to see how he handles the pushback 😈

thanks so much for the question!!!! as you can tell, i love talking about this kind of stuff!

[vvatchword]

I Feel Salty

When I don't feel terribly creative--and I haven't, lately--I work on the BioShock: Rapture journal.

Guys, why is this so fucking bad. It's forcing me to come up with words for why it's so bad. Like it's not just bad in terms of characterization or plot, it's conceptually bonkers.

First is the setup: a series of what are essentially short stories. They're barely connected to each other and are always summaries. It's like they're placeholders detailing where a dozen chapters of plot should go. Because they are summaries, there is absolutely no tension whatsoever. All the problems have essentially been solved--we've skipped past them to these little peaceful islands. Long story short: there is never any tension or excitement.

Second is the characterization. Absolutely wretched. I don't think John Shirley has ever met a human being in his life. Bit characters are cardboard cutouts. Major characters have no internal worlds worth speaking of. Why is Frank Fontaine grifting? Idk he just grifts. Why is Andrew Ryan doing what he does? idk he's just Andrew Ryan. And we shouldn't start on poor Bill McDonagh.

Speaking of McDonagh: the fucking dialogue. Either it's info-dumping or it's full of absurd words. Nobody is a person, everyone is a weird stereotype. I think Shirley was attempting camp but he managed to blow straight past that into the garbage. (I'm a little terrified of how he'll make the non-white characters speak lol)

Third is the fucking prose. Oh my fucking christ it's so embarrassing. Shirley does not trust you to be able to infer from his sentences, so he will explain himself at length, sometimes two or even three times over. Shirley is primarily a visual person; he can't conceptualize intangibles; he can't just discuss an idea. He is firmly rooted in terra firma. Every now and then he tries to be smart and utters complete nonsense.

Bill McDonagh was riding an elevator up to the top of the Andrew Ryan Arms—but he felt like he was sinking under the sea.

Fourth is the research. Shirley does not research big processes, but bit information, which is kind of a problem. He doesn't know how the US government could stop Andrew Ryan from shipping giant building parts out--or why they'd even care--but he'll spend time telling you about boxing in 1946.

Fifth is scene setups. So let me share with you a paragraph from my journal regarding Chapter 2:

Sullivan tries to shake a G-man, fails, and doesn’t care because it doesn’t matter. He shows up at a ship containing building materials for Rapture, meets Greavy, and they lecture each other back and forth about subjects they should already know to summarize a bunch of events we should have seen. As an afterthought, Sullivan tells Greavy he showed up in person to confirm the time the ship leaves instead of calling because the phones are probably tapped. Sullivan will leave before the ship leaves so he won’t actually know the time to confirm with his boss. This particular ship is one of multiple ships and represents only one of multiple shipments—there’s nothing remarkably special about it. They’re not in any danger in any way and there’s nothing the USA can do legally to stop them, a fact they confirm multiple times. End scene.

It's a nothingburger. Absolutely nothing happens in this that's worth writing about. The G-man can't do anything, the USA can't do anything, nobody's going to do anything. There's no tension. This scene solely exists for the sake of dumping exposition. We don't get to see the act of building the city itself.

I am definitely learning something from reading this book but mostly it's about what not to do, and I hate it. If I didn't want to keep it around for fanfiction purposes, I would throw it in a woodchipper.

[sl33py-g4m3r]

May have posted about this before; however, I'm doing it again...

that post last night with the little footnote got me thinking about it again..... unfortunately..... It's just a cat and mouse game with no discernible outcome as I can't make up my mind as to what's true...

Am I trans or not?

Or am i just uncomfortable being female for some other reason?

I don't know how to see myself tbh....

Like I don't see myself as female really, despite obviously being biologically female....

but at the same time idk.... Am I trans or not? It's something that's been bugging me off and on since I've been a young adult...

mom dressed me in dresses when I was really young, then I stopped wearing them at some point but didn't exactly dress like a boy either. Just androgynous because kid... Got called moms son once at an eye appointment, that made me happy a bit back then. But I didn't know what gender/sex was back then. Then the boys were helping me in second grade because I'm legally blind, and they wanted to help. The girls were mean to me cause I was getting the attention that they wanted I guess.... It's been a while. So 6-7 year old me snuck scissors into the school bathroom to cut my long hair off; thinking it would make me a boy i guess. It didn't. and sadly enough dad even kept a lock of the hair I had cut off. Had had it short ever since. well that's a lie actually; I grew it out in 2012-2014, and let it get quite long, tailbone length long, then I stopped caring for it, biggest mistake ever, and it got cut short once more.

I've struggled with what I know now as some pretty bad anxiety and ptsd from childhood that idk if is playing a part but that's beside the point i think...

Never really saw myself in terms of boy or girl as a kid; I just was.. I got called a boy a few times which made me kinda happy but I didn't know why.

Then eventually the horrors of puberty showed up; I began wearing sweaters and jackets at school and out all the time. and became very insecure about myself, moreso than I already was. But with things that came up I dealt with.

Didn't think about it again until young adulthood when I found tumblr and lurked for a bit. learning what "transgender" was and wondering if I was that if I was so uncomfortable being female.

idk if it was just the anxiety or something, or the fact that everyone's taller than my 150 cm ass........ Or that I'm insecure cause I'm blind from a legal standpoint or what....

I began wondering what it was like to be seen or be a male in society. How would I be treated differently if I were seen as a male?

I asked the wrong person the wrong questions and was SA'd as a result; but things could've been much worse, that they could've.

I dropped it and thought it went away; but it hasn't... Hell that SA incident was what got me into therapy and realizing that I have anxiety and ptsd from childhood to begin with, lol. and maybe mildly autistic but that isn't actually diagnosed at all.

So now the "am I a trans guy" just pops up from time to time, I think about it a while, and then drop it again.

I thought I'd talked to mom about it a long while ago; how I felt being female and that I didn't want to be, talked to an aunt about it too. They both just said that; "god made you female for a reason". so I dropped it once again.

tried getting the therapy office to use a male name and pronouns for me; but that just sounded odd after almost 30 years of being referred to by my birth name and sex. so it felt really weird and I never officially implemented it, reverting it before it went into effect as a test run.

So is it because I'm short? Because I'm disabled? Because I'm female? What makes me so insecure of myself and unsure of everything?

I question and second guess everything for the most part... and still don't know how to see myself.

all of my OC's that I've made throughout all of the fandoms I've been in (sonic, naruto, etc. and even my own original character that I've made independently of any fandom) had been male.

would I have more confidence in myself if I were male? Or is it something else?

It might be a bunch of things all at once that I'm not understanding...

I'm just very confused to whom I am and had been for many years....

and I can't pay with the "crossdressing to be read as male" because it's very obvious that I'm female anyway....

So am I actually trans or is there a bunch of stuff going on under the surface that I'm unaware of and that's whats causing me to feel this way?

Even if I were a guy; I'd still be short, still be emotional, still like cute things probably, would be bullied perhaps for being emotional and shy, and being shy might be cuter in females anyway.... idk......

Male or female, I'd still be me...

and I have no idea who I am or how I come off to people

aside from "too nice for my own good" or "the blind one" or idk what else. I know I shouldn't care how people look at me and think but i do anyway......

I hate how that post last night threw me into thinking about this... Hopefully posting about it will help somehow...

Do I come off as male or female on the internet?? Before I outed myself as female what was thought of me?? I don't like disclosing that because I worry that doing so would get people acting smarmy towards me and be creepy...

sad boi gender rant over.....

I'm sorry for subjecting you all to sad boi hours like 2 days in a row... or the same one...... idk

enjoy the self examination as well as the confusion that comes along with it....

I genuinely don't know what to think about myself at this point....

all I do know probably for sure tho is that if I were a guy I'm assuming I'd be a femboy; cause I'd like soft, fluffy, cute things still... and still be a pacifist.... the opposite of the tomboy i was as a child... maybe...

[volfoss]

hiii meow 🔥

i am going to give u a guy that would be obscure even if volfoss was popular bc people hate old man cunt serve or whatever

this is frokiston and he has every disease. i havent seen a ton of him yet (so this will not be long which i think is for the best. but he has a lot of the ummm. features that aki and from what i understand of astarion have which is why i think you'll like him). hes basically the leader of Ikuaipe (which. quick pause to get into politics before i continue. because unfortunately its important and the politics do tie into him due to his position in society). the map is there to well. hopefully help it be easier to understand the politics im so sorry (and also because his head is kind of cut off like this. jumpscare of old man face)

so. volfoss politics 101: three big countries: ikuaipe, asdenia, and caldealand. asdenia and ikuaipe are at war by the time you hit act 2 over the fact that asdenia basically stopped exporting rare metals that ikuaipe used for drugs (for like. no reason rly but its been VERY shitty for ikuaipe bc they either have to smuggle it over or experience very bad withdrawal symptoms) and depending on what route you take (there are 5: asdenia, caldealand, ikuaipe, good, and bad), the war itself is properly started/furthered due to differing events (a monster in one, frokiston's seeming kidnapping in other. we will circle back to that). one of the really nice things abt volfoss is how even when you take one of the country's sides, you'll still see the other country (and in a sympathetic light too. like theres nuance there basically). the political structure of each nation is different (so like. with caldealand, theres a prime minister, king and queen; asdenia has weird shit going on where its like? the arch priest seems to kind of be leading or somewhat. its weird man idk. and ikuaipe has frokiston as the king, gust as like his evil inventor or whatever and veycer under him as the lead of the military. this is all important im so fucking sorry. there will not be a quiz at the end)

you have made it OUT of the politics section and now i can talk about him as a character. he's very interesting to me due to his self sacrificing natures (which is why i immediately thought of him when you sent an ask in). the two most prominent examples is in the ikuaipe route, when the war starts (or is about to), he puts himself in risk to go talk to Tiece (who's the archpriest of asdenia) (this journey is like. the entire length of the world. ill toss a map in above to help keep all this straight and also to show for reference why this man is making a VERY dangerous sacrifice), all because he just doesn't want the war to start. literally EVERYONE is like hey. this is a really dumb idea. dont do this. and he just is insistent bc its for the good of the country. i kind of hesitate to be like oh found family moment bc thats not really the case, but he's very much a figure that veycer can look up to and someone who veycer turns to before he leaves, because NEITHER of them want this war really. but frokiston is level headed but is there for veycer as he's coming to terms with the fact that the war may be necessary in order to get the rare metals in order to help their citizens. and then um well. he gets kidnapped/disappears shortly after this (on this route at least. idk about the 3 routes i havent done/the rest of this route) and that is enough for veycer to basically kickstart the war into high gear, as he assumes asdenia did SOMETHING to him and would do anything to get him back. and i think um well if you think about the tragedies and all w aki. that the parallels are there.

we are onto part TWO of the self sacrificing natures. when on the asdenia route, he's the final boss. also he has had body modifications here. unclear as to what they are but it could be really anything. tossing that light hearted fact in before i hit you with the horrors. into the horrors now though :3 so all through the asdenian route, you see veycer kind of butting heads with frokiston on this because frokiston does NOT want this war. he will do anything for peace but eventually it gets to the point where he realizes it has to happen. and hes very upset about this bc its painted as veycer is a bit more supportive of the war happening, and frokiston just kind of like. being there and being kind of miserable about it for a bit because he really can't do anything (as we see in the ikuaipe route, its not really safe for him to leave the capital, so he's just stuck there).

but the self sacrificing point comes after you beat him. he pretty much says that ikuaipe has no future now, and shows gratitude towards shalvas for being a good fight at the end of his life. and here is when we start to see the self sacrificing tendencies RAMP up. directly from my summary bc well. "He pleads with Shalvas to finish him off and then he will show his body to everyone. His plan is that if they do that, Veycer and the others will stop fighting. Frokiston wants no more lives to be sacrificed." He literally fully believes that showing his body will stop everyone because the fact that their leader was defeated would make everyone just. stop. Sheala (who's one of the Ikuaipe army commanders. she's great you'd love her) is also there, and he is SO relieved to see her because it does genuinely seem like he cares about them (veycer and sheala are siblings) a lot and worries about them. one of the higher up people in ikuaipe (turi-marrya. sorry there are a million names. shes important and u would love her ok. i promise) is the only one who can really persuade him that he shouldn't throw his life away for this, and sheala has to basically persuade him that he's the only one who can stop gylor (leader of the asdenia military) and veycer from continuing to fight. Turi has to pretty much beg Frokiston to live, and again from my notes:

"Frokiston pauses to think for a very long time, before finally saying “...I… Maybe I was trying to escape from death by embellishing my words beautifully. Should I make amends? It is very sensible to think of it that way.” Turi says his name and he finally comes to a decision, saying that they need to go to Veycer right away, and that after that, both he and Veycer will formally declare their surrender. Turi replies, “Bless your courage, Your Excellency Frokiston.” He rejects that, believing that if he looks brave, it is because of Turi. Frokiston feels encouraged due to the lack of doubt in Turi’s words."

but i think his interactions w veycer and sheala are so interesting, and especially turi. like shes a very blunt person and cannot hide her emotions well, and that being reassuring for him, that she knows for sure that he can help. its very interesting to me (read: typing this up made me get 5 million times worse about the characters)

he's also just kind of like. a silly guy at times. he goes to the tournament earlier in the game, and Gust has invented some like. super fast powered transporter. and is sure using frokiston as a test dummy for it (objectively funny of gust like. hes like well um ^-^ it functions but this was the test run) and hes just like completely ok with it and thought it was fun. i do not know all of his deals and issues yet but i think the position hes in and his diseases would appeal to you :3 and SOMEONE needs to fuck that old man (or something idk.)

[glitchyred]

What's your favorite thing about each semicolon character? (As many as you want to talk about that is.) Whether it be detail about them, a character trait you gave them, and so on and so fourth! I wish well for you, you're amazing and I hope you have a good day/night!

Omg this is such a good ask IM ON MY INCREDIBLY BROKEN PHONE RN while i wait on dinner so forgive any typos JDKAJDJ

Glitchy - hes like. My soulmate character. Obsessed w him for so many reasons. I think one of my favorite parts is just that i really adore like. "I hate everyone life sucks there's no point in living" characters who can't help being nice. We havent super gotten into it yet but he's such a sweetheart despite how he acts and feels JDJAJDJ

Steven - Steven is inspired by a handful of people I've known, so the parts of him that are based on my dad or brother make me happy (the cleaning scene was based on how my dad likes to play loud rock music and talk to me about old bands he likes while doing chores). In less sappy news I like drawing his hair. Fluffy HDKAHDJS

Mike - Mike is one of those characters where my mind just kinda melts when i try to phrase what i like about him. Hes my blorbo. My special boy. My silly rabbit. Im going to put him in a microwave

Lost - hes SO different from every lost silver interpretation ive ever seen and it kills me. Im almost sad he doesnt show up in Second Chance because i cannot wait to see how people react to him. Hes also like the direct inverse to Glitchy which is super fun to me

Tears - blue tears is a Really unhinged creepypasta and its super fun to make Tears just. One of the most hinged characters. Its so funny. Worlds normalest guy who can LITERALLY kill people with his mind. Also hes another jerk with a heart of gold type deal but its a different Flavor which makes his interactions w Glitchy fun

M!@# - drawing her with hurry heals my heart :] i also love my design for her

Creeps - idk if theres a term for this but i love "murderous person who doesnt fully grasp the weight of hurting people" characters. I cant wait for the sheer amount of moral dilemmas he'll put readers through ❤

Blake - his anomaly makes him super interesting. Hes forced to be very isolated and reliant on a caregiver he hates (Slenderman) and it provides a good dynamic with Creeps. I wish i could talk more about him but. Spoilers JDKWJDJ

If i let myself keep going this answer would be like 25 paragraphs in length so I'll stop here 💛 tysm for the ask and well wishes

[jjackrabbitt]

Miss Peregrines Museum of Wonders, Introduction:

This was going to be my usual 3 chapter length review, but it got long so you get just the introduction.

I swear, every time I think it’s gonna be the last book, Riggs comes up with an other one. This is far from a complaint, I want every little bit of anything I can get from these books. But this has happened three times now :/

Y’all are right. The little motifs in this book are fuckin ugly. Miss Peregrine would be much classier than this.

Also why’d they change her handwriting? We already have examples of her writing and uh. It’s not that.

Okay I swear that this whole thing is not going to be negative, we are going to have some fun here, but. I did the math and Alma is at least 58. What’s this bullshit with her picture showing her as 25-30 (?) years old.

Can we please please please have publications of Miss P’s other books next?? 🥺 I’ll never threaten to hit Riggs with a metal folding chair again 🥺

Okay back to complaining. Miss P would never have her silhouette done like that. She is a gentlewoman >:/

Today on Peculiars Are Jews: the book starts by informing the reader that they are being hunted and warning about how the Normal People will try to hurt you if they find out you’re different

Ooo faulty time loops 👀 what does that entail and how can I get in one?

Yet again, Peculiars Are Jews: “there was a time when all we had to worry about was being burned at the stake. It was a simpler world then.”

I would like to remind everyone that I am Jewish so I do get to make my fucked up little Jokes

Lovin’ these pink pages, they’re very fun

Hey so with the mention of the peculiar world spanning..well. The world. Do y’all think that other parts of the world (i.e. not europe or america) would rely so heavily on ymbrynnes? I genuinely want to know what other peculiar societies look like. We know that when Myron and Jack were building the Panloopticon they went outside of Europe and America and got loop dna from some pretty surprising places, so we know there are other loops and European peculiars have/had enough connection that the boys were capable of going there on friendly terms and gathering their samples. So there at very least was some connection to other places. That might have deteriorated with the introduction of hollows and wights roamin’ around and scaring everyone into staying in their loops. And we know that Noor was in fact born in Bombay and her parents were killed by a hollow, so we know that the wights reach extended outside of Europe/America. They had to get there somehow and it seems like it would be pretty hard to transport hollows by plane, so I’d guess they did a little loop hopping to get to baby Noor. Which would require a loop to be somewhere near Noor in the first place. Idk I just want to see places outside of Europe/America and know what the peculiar situation with them is.

This is probably the only book that’s like “Thank G-d no one believes in magic anymore”

Alsooo. Some of my opinions have changed since last time I shared my thoughts with you all and I am kinda critical of the ymbrynnes now. Not in a wight kinda way, because fuck those guys. And obviously this is fiction and also I’m not involved in any sort of peculiar society, so I can’t say what’s best, but who could, really?

That being said, Alma points out that many peculiars never meet an ymbrynne. And excuse me if this is wrong, but aren’t demi-ymbrynnes a little more common than full ymbrynnes? And I don’t believe this is ever directly addressed, but in the first three books there’s no mention of demi-ymbrynnes and it’s said that Miss Avocet’s Ymbrynne Academy trains ymbrynnes, specifically. Not demi-ymbrynnes. So uh. Would it not make more sense for the Ymbrynne Academy to train both demi-ymbrynnes and ymbrynnes and use the ymbrynnes to look for peculiar people and help relocate them and start loops and then leave demi-ymbrynnes in charge of running them? Not saying that full ymbrynnes wouldn’t be involved in running loops at all, but if they’re the ones who can find people and turn into birds and start loops and are more rare, why have them be focused on running one loop at a time? If anyone disagrees with this I would very much like to hear about it

Aaaand again with Peculiars Are Jews: “This is the book for them: the young [Jew] (or the old one) who’s never had the benefit of [a Rabbi’s/Jewish community’s] guidance; who is lonely and filled with questions.”

I know only one other Jewish person in this fandom so I’m pretty sure that most of the rest of you don’t get it when I say Peculiars Are Jews but I am right. It’s about the hidden culture! The questions! The alienation! The secret wonder! Randomly seeing an other person somewhere and just Knowing that they’re one of you! The Rituals! And yeah that does sound a lot like queerness too and Peculiars very much are queers. But they are also Jews and no one else is gonna talk about it.

Oooo fuck, the rest of the last paragraph for the introduction 😔 peculiars are queers and they are Jews and they are neurodivergent.

[twsted-kinks]

TWST Dick and Pussy Headcanons (NSFW)

>minors and ageless DNI<

I gonna basically give my headcanons/thoughts on character genitals. Each guy's gonna get a dick and a pussy headcanon because I both are good. Also, if I start with dick I think lean towards them having a dick and vice versa with cunt. Some characters are 50/50.

Content warning: Descriptions of genitals. Includes terms dick, cock, cunt, pussy. May include kinky stuff idk yet but bdsm and piss is always possible.

Parts: Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw (here), Octavinelle, Scarabia & Ignihyde, Pomefiore, Diasomnia

(This one is gonna have a lot of piss kink because I like to think beastmen have a piss marking thing going on which may have made this one a lot longer)

Leona

Dick

Leona's uncut dick is definitely on the big end reaching almost 9 inches in length (~22 cm) that curves down and he's got decent girth. Not super thick but definitely thicker on average. His balls are also fucking heavy and his balls will be slapping you when he fucks you. He also doesn't wear underwear, so you can easily see the outline of his cock in whatever he's wearing. His happy trail is thicc and unkempt and the pubes around his cock and balls are a nightmare. He also only really showers when he feels like it and does less than minimum for hygiene most of the time. If you want him to clean himself more, there are three options: refuse to fuck him until he bathes, offer a blow job if he bathes, or bathe him yourself. If you want him to trim his pubes though, you're going to have to do that for him, and, yes, he will get hard while you're handling him and he expects you to take care of that. He is definitely a top dom who loves to be cruel to you, but, if you over power him in bed and take what you want from him, he will act fussy but he's enjoying the fuck out of it. Also, if you're just casually hanging out with him in private and he gets horny, his dick is out and he's slapping you with it and telling you yo take care of it. He will also piss on you at what looks like random times (it's because he smells someone else on you so he pees on you). He also wants you to piss on him, but he refuses to beg, so he'll put pressure on your bladder or degrade you into pissing and he just so happens to be in the way. Everything just gets worse in his ruts. He will invite you over, have his cock in his hands and tell you he's started his rut, and you have one chance to leave before he locks the door and fucks you for a week straight.

Pussy

Hairy hairy hairy. Again his hygiene is shit and, even though he has to squat, he still prefers to piss outside than in a bathroom. Thing is, there's no toilet paper so he'll use you mouth to clean himself up. He will also tell you to go down on him and just piss on your face and hold your head there and make you drink it. No matter his parts he's still dominant. He'll let you fuck him, but he's in charge and you're doing it to please him. Honestly, prefers for you just to use your mouth in him. Only time he's desperate for your cock inside on his is when he's in heat, and he's not begging. He's just allowing you to use his hole. And, if you get tired and can't go anymore, he's just gonna ride your cock/face until he has his fill.

Ruggie

Dick

Dude with a cute uncut dick that is roughly 4 inches (~10 cm) when hard, but he is also hairy af. When soft, it can be hard to see his dick cause his pubes can hide it sometimes. His balls have a trail of pubes on the underside. He doesn't trim them, but he does wash regularly so his hairy bits are clean. Ruggie has a high libido and jerks off a lot unless he's got someone willing to help. He's also very much a submissive bottom but can and will top from time to time. He can be dominant as well if you want him too, but you being the dominant one is what really riles him up. Ruggie also has a massive piss kink. Pissing on things he shouldn't, getting pissed on, drinking the piss of others and his own, etc etc., he loves it all. It is very common you to walk in on him aiming his cock and pissing on himself. He will also pee on you and lick you clean. When he goes into a rut, he gets extra submissive and is on his knees with his cock out begging for you to use and mark him. He will cry and thank you even if you just piss on him while he jerks off. He'll die and go to heaven in you ride him and piss on his dick. The only time you get a break is when he passes out.

Pussy

Ruggie's cunt is hidden behind a dense forest but we're all wilderness explorers here. His clit is pretty big reaching almost 3 inches in length and it is sensitive af. He loves riding your face and fucking you mouth with his clit. Be warned though, put your face near his cunt and he will pee on you at some point. He loves getting his holes stuffed and will tease you regularly until you just bend him over and fuck him. Also, no matter what parts he has, he sells his body for cash. Most of Savanaclaw has paid him for sex. If you want him to stop youre gonna have to pay him for lost income. Alternatively, if you support him in his sex work, he falls madly in love with you. If you eat him out and clean the cum from his holes with your tongue after a job, you're stuck with him. If you encourage him to get into porn, he'd definitely be willing for you to be his cameraman and run his site. He's the talent on the screen while you run the things behind the scene and you make for a good duo. His heat has always been a nightmare because he can't keep track of taking money and counting it when he's all horny and wanting to get fucked. But, you can manage all of that for him. Ruggie can just take cock after cock while you take money at the front of the line of beastmen who want to use him.

Jack

Dick

Jack's dick is pretty long at a little under 7 inches (~17 cm) and has what appears to be an average girth until the knot at the base swells to double the girth of his shaft. It also takes a while to go down, so be prepared to be stuck on Jack's knot for roughly 30 minutes to an hour. You can try to pull yourself off of his knot, but it takes a lot of effort and stretches your entrance wide. His pubuc hair is thick with a happy trail that goes down his stomach and forms a ring around his cock and balls. His balls are nicely plump and he carries a lot of cum. Jack doesn't really have a high libido, but, when he does get horny, he can fuck for hours. Jack does have a thing for piss but he's too shy to talk about it. You have to be the one to bring up anything piss related. He wants to appear calm but, if you ever bring up him peeing on you or you peeing on him, his tail is gonna start waging. He wants to mark you so bad, both inside and out. If you let him, he's going to knot you and fill you with cum and piss. And if you want to piss in him in return, his tail is gonna be waging even faster. During his rut, he tries to be polite and stay away from you because he's embarrassed, but when you show up he can't stop himself from humping you, grinding his cock on your ass. If you decide to blow him during a rut, he will accidentally knot your mouth and shoot cum and piss down your throat. He's gonna apologize but he can't stop his hips from continuing to fuck your face.

Pussy

Jack's pussy is well kept with his thick pubic hair nicely trimmed and clean. His clit is a decent size and Jack goes wild when you suck on it. His brain can go a bit haywire and he will accidentally ride your face. When Jack is horny, he can't stop him hips once he has your cock/strap in him. Jack's eyes are foggy and he just mumbles incoherently as he rides you. If you're too tired or your cock can't take it anymore, you're gonna have to push him off because his brain cannot understand a word you're saying. Especially during his heats. He is straight up humping your leg begging for your cock, and once your cock is inside him during his heat it is not coming out. He also needs you to pee in and on him. He needs you to mark him. During his heat he'll straight up beg for you to piss in his womb.

[thewritingginger]

;) Alphabet - Ares

This was a request from my AO3 that I finally got around to finishing 

Fandom: Blood of Zeus Letters: B, C, P, W, X Warning(s): NSFW 18+, Mentions of sex

Enjoy ~

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Ares favorite part on his s/o is their thighs

Big or small, he loves them

Enjoys laying on them, kissing and biting them, and of course fucking them from time to time

His favorite body part on himself would have to be his arms

He likes how strong they are - which isn’t only good in battle but also for picking your up and tossing you around in the bedroom ​​😉

Also really enjoys you holding or hanging on them when you walk together

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

IDK why but I feel like Ares would really like cumming on his partners face or at least the idea of it is really hot to him

It gives the feeling as if he is marking you as his and showing his ownership over you

Other than that honestly doesn’t even really think about it much

If he cums in your mouth, cool. On your stomach? Great. Inside you? Awesome.

Isn’t something that really comes to mind till he cums

The consistency is on the thicker side

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

You’d think that he is fast and hard all day everyday

However , he has a sensual side to him - if your relationship is more committed and long term

When he is being sensual or going slow he still hits hard and deep

When he isn’t doing that you better be prepared to be railed into the mattress

The room will be filled with the sounds of your cries and skin slapping against each other as he plows into you

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Ares is secretly a Switch and a bit of a Masochist

He does enjoy having power and generally being the dominant one in his sexual relationships

However, if given the space he could really get into being your ‘Good Boy’

Calling you Master/Mistress

Being punished when he does something wrong

Slap him around a bit, he’ll love it

Deny him his pleasure, he’ll go wild

The God is on his knees before you, naked, his erection painfully hard between his legs. Circling around him you scan your eyes over his body, pink and purple dots trail down his neck and chest from your teasing lips and the irritated patches on his flesh from where your crop came down on him.

“Are you going to be a Good Boy, Ares?” You say sliding the crop across his back making him tremble.

“Yes, Master, please - Ah!” He cries and sucks in between his teeth when you touch his cock with your tool, giving his shaft a few taps with the cold leather.

This God of War would do anything to get the relief he seeks 😉

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Ok this guy is packing some heat so be prepared

Is definitely a shower, what you see is what you get (doesn’t change much from being soft to hard)

Length is about average (~5 - 5 1/2 inches)  but the girth!!!

Veiny! & curves downward

The head/midshaft is a bit thicker than the base

This was pretty short but I hope you liked it nonetheless.

If you did and want more like it, let me know!

💛 ~

~ Masterlist ~