#idk what to tag this rip hopefully it finds its place

[achillean-knight]

I might have a plot idea for your Mask bot series!

-Mike is in the PizzaPlex trying to correct his father's sins (even if he is still stuck in UCN in your AU or not, many people have still been hurt)

-Jeremy manages to make Mike recognize him

-They try to find Jeremy's daughter Cassie cuz Jeremy knows that with the V.A.N.N.I. mask, his daughter's life is in danger

-Find Roxy torn apart (due to the Mimic battle but the may not know that yet)

-Fix Roxy (not really they probably just manage to power her on or something)

-Discover the Tangle

-Discover the Mimic

- Find Cassie (in critical condition mind you)

Aaand that's all I could come up with for now. Of course these are just ideas so you can have your own plot.

Yoyoyo Anon! GODS THANK YOU FOR THE SUGGESTIONS! Especially since it helps me tie together a story I had in mind that was rather loose and just floating ideas in my brain... Also it kinda fits in weirdly well with another Anon ask/request that I'll for SURE get around to doing... eventually HKJH\SGDJ

With these in mind, here's a little story idea with bits from your suggestions with mine that I might eventually get around to making into a comic 👀👀 (Under the cut bc it is LONGGGG like REALLY long lmao)

Mike returns back to the Pizzaplex during the events of Ruin. He worked at the Pizzaplex while it was still running, for what reason? There's not a clue in the world, but he went undercover as a security guard. They say that his mother owns the place, evident by his rank high up, but nobody at all knows who runs the place and how Michael even got a job. But there he was.

He's back again to uncover the reason for it's destruction- to hopefully find answers to unsolved mysteries left by this company and to rewrite the sins of William. He's arrived maybe an hour or so after Cassie entered, so there's no sign of life in the main entrance besides a certain mask bot without the key item in its possession. The events of this comic take place during this time.

Afterward, the mask bot can't seem to let go after finding Mike again- Jeremy couldn't let go- so he tags along as Mike scours the pizzaplex. Jeremy's following along as he knows the programming of the bot he inhabits, gave his daughter a very dangerous item- the V.A.N.N.I mask- So he wants to try and get it off her hands as soon as he can with the help of Mike. How he'll convey his wants on the matter? He can't, but he'll try.

They're quick through the place- Cassie cleared the way, so all enemies are pretty much nonexistent to them, so they catch up quick to where she was recently. They find the MXES system offline and Mike panics, as he knows what's beyond it. (Playing off the theory that it was Henry's creation, Mike would know what it is.)

They find Roxy destroyed, Mike motioned to Jeremy to keep looking and he agrees. Making his way quietly, Jeremy peeks around the corner to see the Mimic's hand grabbing the power supply to the elevator. He hears Cassies voice faintly, possibly in the elevator and freezes in horror as the Mimic rips the wires and the Elevator fails (playing on the theory that the Mimic caused the elevator to fail.), all he can hear is Cassies screaming and he rushes back to Mike.

As he returns back, Mike somehow got Roxy online, but she's still in a completely wrecked state. They take her to the nearest safe zone- one they could think of on the spot to avoid the Mimic and try and fix her up a little more. Awake again, Roxy remembers her duty of protecting Cassie and tasks herself with finding Cassie- Jeremy is pleased with this as he can't convey his own panic- Once she somehow picks up her location, she guides them through twisting turns and flights of staircases until they find a bunker- Mike knows this bunker

They're back at the SL building : > (IDK, where else would the elevator lead lmao, I don't think there's anything lower than the SL bunker 😭)

Mike is familiar with this place but struggles to come to terms with this fact that this was where he was supposed to die- and who does he find than a giant mess of wires and destroyed bodies of past animatronics. He remembers Ennard He remembers Molten Freddy- This was horrifying, huge, and there was a mess of screams and crying inaudible, but he knew the thing was upset. Jeremy recognises the mask the thing it's wearing- it was Lefty, the thing in the VR world that tried to kill him while he was mending Helpy (this AU has Lefty as the head of the Blob/Tangle)

Mike has a feeling he knows what this is. He wasn't the person who attended the burning of the Pizzaria Sim Location, but rather, he helped guide the animatronics with Henry there for whomever was working there at the time, but he was indulged in Henry's plans- And he was mortified to know it only made everything worse- This was an amalgamation of all the children's animatronic bodies- remnant- souls- they were upset, scared, just wanting to move on, and Mike wanted to help so badly.

The thing was kind to them, even Mike for some reason. Roxy begged the thing to guide them to Cassie and it Obliged- the soul that was in the lead wasn't malicious, it was kind, especially to children so it wanted to help. It was kind to Mike- why Mike? He didn't know that the thing guiding them to Cassie was Charlie, she knew Mike- She wanted to help mike and with Cassidy in the amalgamation helping Charlie, she knew Mike was safe after letting his little brothers soul free from Golden Freddy while she inhabited it, so she deemed him good.

They find Cassie, incredibly injured and Jeremy panicked, rushing over and holding her close. Something was wrong though, she wore the mask- they didn't know her mind isn't in control anymore- she has succumbed to a similar fate as Jeremy but he is determined to save her from it.

She will be the next Vanny.

[frostedfaves]

And I Drove You Crazy

Masterlist

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x reader

Requested by anon: I don’t know the characters very well but some prompts that I can think of and that you could least jump off from is maybe Nat teasing the reader for a having a crush?? Maybe a few timeline jumps so the first time they meet, then the first time Nat realize the crush, and then the kiss?? Idk lmao

Warnings: constantly flustered reader

A/N: this turned out more fluffy than teasing, but hopefully you’re still able to enjoy it! thanks for the ideas :)

marvel requests?

-

“Is this seat taken?”

You froze with the wine glass in your hand, and you focused all your energy on swallowing the alcohol before you choked. When it was safe to do so, you turned on the bar stool and faced none other than Natasha Romanoff with a nervous smile.

“Nope, all yours.”

She offered you an inviting smile of her own, eyes never leaving yours as she sat next to you. After noticing you squirm a bit, she turned to the bartender, practically batting her eyelashes at him.

“She’ll have another glass, and I’ll take a double of your strongest vodka.”

“You didn’t have to do that,” you insisted, gesturing to the one you just placed on the bar. “I’m not even finished.”

“You’ll have it for when you are.” She shrugged simply before thanking the bartender and taking a sip from her own drink. “So I haven’t met you before. How’d you end up here?”

Both of you took each other in over the rims of your glasses, and you’d never known a shade of green could be so fucking beautiful. Swallowing the liquid in hopes of gaining courage, you cleared your throat to speak again. You could only wish your voice came through as elegantly as her collected tone.

“Well, Mr. Stark promoted Ms. Potts to CEO and you weren’t actually who you said you were, so he had to hire someone he could do an accurate background check on.”

“You’re Stark’s assistant. Your name?” She stretched her hand out to you as you introduced yourself, and a shiver shot through you at her surprisingly warm touch. “Well, you may know me as Natasha Romanoff, Natalie Rushman or the Black Widow. But I’d prefer you to know me as just Nat.”

She suddenly hopped down from the bar stool with her drink in hand, and you’d never felt such abandonment from a simple action. A bit of hope slipped into your thoughts like a secret note when she turned to face you with that wicked smile again.

“I hope to see you again, soon. Good luck with the arrogant man-child.”

-

“Is this seat taken?”

An overwhelming sense of deja vu washed over you at the voice, popcorn falling out of your hand and back into the bowl in your lap as you looked over your shoulder. There Natasha stood, bright red locks hanging on either side of her face as she glanced down at you.

“Nope, all yours.”

There seemed to be a slight bounce in her step as she came around the couch and plopped onto the cushion next to you, a teasing grin on her lips as she reached over and stole a few kernels.

“You seem to be in a really good mood.”

“Just happy to see you.” How lucky you were that she didn’t have super-hearing, because your heart screamed in your chest. “What are we watching?”

“It’s just some dumb, cheesy Hallmark movie. You know, 25 Days of Christmas. I can change the channel if you want.” The sight of her emerald eyes meeting yours threatened to knock the wind out of you, and you quickly took a deep breath to remind yourself of oxygen.

“No, this seems...normal. I don’t get a lot of that, so I appreciate it more.”

The two of you watched in silence, aside from the occasional rustling of your hands in the popcorn bowl. It wasn’t until the credits started to roll that you gained the nerve to speak again.

“I hope this isn’t weird or anything, but I got you something.” Her features seemed to hold confusion, so you quickly added “For Christmas, I mean.”

“You did?” 

You nodded toward the large tree in the corner of the room and she jumped to her feet, heading over and sifting through the gifts to find the one with both of your names on it. As soon as it was in her hands she was ripping the paper open, eager to know what you’d taken the time to get for her. On the other end, you waited with nervous hands and uneven breath for a reaction.

“This…” You stopped breathing altogether until she faced you with tears in her eyes and an appreciative smile. “This is beautiful. Thank you so much. I wish I’d known so I could get you something.”

“It was nothing,” you brushed it off, looking down at your smart watch as it beeped. “I have to go. Duty calls.” You offered her a timid grin as you placed the remainder of the popcorn on a table and hurried off.

“When are you gonna stop being scared and make a move?”

“A Christmas gift doesn’t automatically mean romantic interest, Clint,” Natasha scowled as she turned to the smirking assassin.

“It does when you drive two hours away and hit up five different stores to find it.”

As Clint left her alone again, her eyes drifted back to the gift in her hands and she thought carefully about what this really meant for the two of you.

-

“Is this seat taken?”

A heavy sigh fell from your lips, thankfully masked by the noise floating in from the busy streets below. You weren’t disappointed by her appearance, just desperate for an uncomplicated breath, and you feared you wouldn’t obtain that while she was around.

“Nope, all yours.”

You kept your eyes on the multiple skyscrapers and the night sky behind them, well aware of her gaze locked in on you as she leaned against the section of wall you were currently sitting on.

“What’s a wonderful person like you doing outside all alone a minute before the ball drops?”

“I am here to avoid watching a bunch of happy couples lock lips at midnight,” you told her in the empty spaces of your defeated sigh.

“No special lips for you tonight?” she questioned in a tone just above a whisper, leaning in more to make the eye contact you were actively trying to avoid.

“One pair, but I don’t think they’re available.”

The crowds both below you and inside the building began to loudly countdown to midnight, and before you could negatively react, Natasha’s hands were on you. One on your thigh to steady the both of you, the other making its home on your cheek.

“You always have a seat for me. The least I could do is have a kiss for you.”

Your lips met just as the fireworks began.

-

Tags: @imnotasuperhero 

[whumpqin]

Day One - Anchor

Soooo I decided that I want to participate in the May 2020 whump challenge! I’m not planning on being able to finish this in time, but I do have an idea of where I want to go with all of this. Hopefully this counts...? This fic DOES include an anchor in it but the whump isn’t... surrounded by the anchor so idk fingers crossed!

Masterlist

General taglist: @spiffythespook (If you want to be tagged in my stuff or a specific story, just let me know!)

CW: Failed escape attempt, creepy/intimate whumper, gun involvement, drowning threat, broken fingers threat, alcohol use, noncon kiss on the cheek, maybe some other things I forgot to tag! Let me know if I have to tag something.

Word Count: 2,493

All is still and quiet, save for the sounds of the ocean waves rocking the boat back and forth in a continuous rhythm, waves crashing in the distance. Even the creaking of the boat itself was pleasant to the ears, moved against the ocean without need of worry or care. The ocean carried The Seeker like a dear friend, never once threatening to sink it below its depths. A kind of assurity that he could only dream of.

The only other noise besides the sound of the sea was the gentle sweeping of a broom against the deck, trying to rid the ship of what little dirt had made its way here. He tried to let himself focus onto cleaning as much as he could. That way, he didn’t have to think about anything else but the waves and where to sweep next.

For now, he was alone. The rest of the crew was down below in the underbelly of the ship, partying and singing whatever stupid songs they had come up with over the course of the voyage. It wasn’t often that they left him be and didn’t drag him to their celebrations over nothing, so he relished in the stillness they had left him in. He hoped that they would forget about him until morning..

Nereus paused in his cleaning and sighed heavily, as if trying to let the weight of everything flow off of his shoulders.

He cleaned his way up and down the ship, sweeping what he could off of the boat and into the dark waters below. By the time he had finished this end it was already dark, the light of the moon illuminating the deck in its cool glow. He couldn’t see in the dark like some other crew members or the Captain, so he was forced to squint against the little light that he was given. Nereus prayed that he didn’t slip and tumble over into the waters. Alone, there would be no one to find him. He wasn’t even sure if he could swim.

With a sigh Nereus wiped what little sweat he had on his brow away, lifting his head to see the silhouette of the ship as it rocked back and forth. His eyes caught sight of a dark, looming machine, round in nature with a large, hooked metal object on the end of a chain.

The anchor.

Because they were steadily going to the north, the anchor had been raised for as long as he could remember. Raising the anchor was a  big to-do with several crew members all working together to make sure the thing didn’t break off when they moved it. He knew it was probably one of the most important parts of the ship. After all, without it you’d have no way to properly stop the ship without it getting damaged in the process.

Nereus looked away quickly. He shouldn’t be thinking of that. It was hard to say what could happen to the ship, to the people, if he did such a thing. Everything might get ripped apart or worse!

In his attempt to divert his gaze, his eyes rested against one of the life rafts. Wooden with a couple of oars, small enough to fit on the side of the ship safely tucked away and pristine. Sometimes the crew would drop anchor and use it to catch fish to eat, when supplies were really running low. Nereus knew he could figure a way to untie it. If he’s really careful, he could let the anchor down and rush over to the boat and throw it into the water before anyone can get topside. He’d be gone before anyone could catch him.

It’s such a bad idea. He knew what happened the last time he tried to escape. But the whisper of freedom still called, beckoning him into the ocean. Nereus was desperate.

He dropped his broom where it was and made his way to the liferaft. First he needed to untie it and prepare for it to be in the water. It took him a moment longer than he’d liked, but soon everything was unfastened and the oars delicately placed inside the raft itself. Nereus shifted it so he could easily push it into the water, then stood up straight to look back at the anchor.

This is such a bad idea, his mind warned. Begging him to reconsider. But I have to try. If I don’t try then I’m just what he says that I am.

Nereus shrugged off his worries and embraced the idea of freedom. His feet carried him quickly to the anchor, stopping just in front of levers and buttons - things he never took the time to learn how to operate.

A rush of anticipation sped up his heart as he frantically tried to read anything that might tell him what the levers and buttons did. Just his luck, however, all of the words that may have once been there were no longer present, scratched off with time and use. Nereus cursed under his breath, glancing down to the cabin entrance.

The door opened, and his heart froze.

A Cambion, tall enough to have to bend forward to go through the frame, exited onto the deck. His skin was as blue as the sea, dark enough to look nearly black in the night air. Messy, nearly white hair was tousled and forced into a ponytail, strips of missed strands lying over his light blue eyes.

The Captain.

Nereus ducked for cover as The Captain’s gaze moved over to the liferaft, obviously noticing how it wasn’t secured like everything else should be. He hid behind the anchor, trying to still his breath enough to listen to the Captain’s boots thud against the deck of the ship. Nereus could hear him begin to hum a low tune, one of those dumb sea shanties to himself as he moved.

He wasn’t sure why he hadn’t been called. He wasn’t going to try and find out. Instead, he listened to which direction the sounds were coming from and slowly tried to shift away. Maybe if he swerved to the side he could still get away, still push the raft into the water before the Captain had a chance to grab onto him-

The sound of a gun clicked next to his head.

Nereus swallowed thickly, slowly moving his gaze to his right to stare down the barrel of a gun. He aimed his eyes higher, to look at the softly smiling face of the Captain as he watched. Nereus lifted his hands upwards, a sign of surrender. Tears almost immediately sprung to his eyes as the Captain took a step forward and placed the gun against his forehead.

“Thought you could sneak off in the middle of our celebration, did you?” When there was no answer, the Captain’s smile fell into a frown. “I left you with enough brains to speak, at the very least. Be honest with me and I won’t blow them out across the deck.”

“Y-yes…” he breathed, almost so quiet he could barely be heard above the waves. “I, I did.”

“Did what? What’s the magic words, boy?” The Captain lifted his thumb, cocking the hammer of the gun back to ready it to fire.

“Yes, yes Captain! I did Captain, I’m so sorry! I won’t do it again I promise, I won’t-”

The Captain raised the gun away from Nereus’ face and slammed it into the side of his head, sending him reeling against the ground. He whimpered, curling inwards to prevent any likely kicks against his ribs. He couldn’t do that again.

Above, the Captain grinned that fanged smile that struck fear into the hearts of the entire crew.

“I don’t need none of that babbling from you. Doesn’t work, from what I’ve seen.” He holstered his gun against his left pocket, taking care to put the safety on before doing so. “I know you’re not stupid, you’ll say anything to get someone off of your back, wont ya?”

Nereus didn’t say anything and only nodded, too afraid of what might happen if he accidentally started his “babbling” again.

“No, didn’t think so. Come on, I suppose a lesson’s in order, isn’t it? Gonna have to teach you humans the only way that seems to get through your thick fucking skulls, it seems.”

Hands snaked across his shoulders as the Captain leaned down, hooking fingers into Nereus’ collar and lifting him up with ease. He was so skinny now, it was hard to imagine anyone in the crew having trouble picking him up, let alone the Captain himself.

Nereus was flipped around, rough hands gripping onto the back of his shirt as he was marched to the side of the boat. He could see the waters much more clearly now, and it only filled him with fear as it got closer and closer. It was hard to say what the Captain was going to do with him, whether this might be his last night alive, eaten by whatever lurked in the dark waters or drowned because Nereus couldn’t get the hang of swimming in time, or if he was to be mercifully spared this time around.

He was pushed forward, nearly toppling over one of the metal bars. Suspended only by the Captain’s hand as he held him aloft. Hanging over the waters dangerously, but completely unable to save himself.

Nereus screamed.

“Captain! Please, please Captain I’m sorry! Please don’t drop me I don’t wanna drown, please!” he cried, arms reaching behind him to grab onto the Captain’s wrists.

“What? I thought you wanted to be out there in the open sea! Isn’t this what you wanted?” The Captain’s grip slipped just slightly, instead holding onto Nereus’ pants as he dangled further over the side of the ship.

“No! No, please! Captain I’m sorry! I don’t want to be in the water, please, Captain!” Nereus wasn’t sure if his begging was making sense, anymore. The primal terror in his bones screamed at him and every hair stood on end, proper words were hardly in his mind at the moment.

“That’s what I fucking thought.”

He was hoisted back up onto the deck of the ship and dropped into the floor. Nereus’ weak legs could barely hold his weight, and he collapsed against the floor sobbing. He curled up against himself, trying to protect the important areas even as fear coursed through his veins. There was no telling if the Captain would just leave his lesson at that, or if it would escalate into something worse.

Nereus whined as he was lifted into a sitting position, forced to face the gaze of the one who nearly threw him overboard. The Captain took his chin roughly and tilted his head to the side, inspecting where he had hit him.

“Ah, damn. Looks like that’s gonna bruise. Sorry about that, Roo. Wouldn’t have had to do that if you weren’t stupid enough to try and leave.” The Captain heaved a small sigh, watching Nereus cry into his hands for a moment. He could smell the tinge of alcohol on his breath. “You do realize that you’d likely get yourself killed if you tried to leave on your own, right? No food, no water, no idea where you’re supposed to be going? Why the fuck would you waste time trying to squander the one gift I’ve given you, huh? Look at me.”

Nereus forced his blurry eyes back up to the Captain, who smiled in return.

“There’s my trophy. Now, repeat this back to me. ‘I’m not going to try and escape ever again.’ Go on. Say it.”

He swallowed. “I-I won’t try to escape ever again, Captain,” Nereus murmured softly, voice gravely and cracking.

“Again. This time with feeling.”

“I won’t try to escape ever again, Captain.” It was stronger, with less breaks. Like a passionate opinion said amidst frustrated tears. 

“Good. Now,” the Captain murmured, leaning close to whisper in his ear, a hot breath making him shudder at the feeling. “If you ever try to escape again, Roo, it’ll be your last time. You understand me?” Nereus nodded quickly, terror latching onto his vocal cords and refusing to let go of them. “Good. And if you ever touch that raft again without someone telling you to, I’ll break all of your fingers one. By. One. Just to make sure you’ve gotten the picture. Got it?”

“Ye-yes, Captain. I understand, Captain,” Nereus finally blurted out, voice quaking and hardly any strength put behind it.

“Alright. Now you have two options, because you obviously can’t be trusted by yourself. You can go below deck and help pick up after my crewmen, or you can come up to my room and stay with me. You choose, Roo.” His voice was poisonous, the air of a threat that hung over him like a weighted cloak. It was hard to speak with the Captain’s hiss in his ear, let alone think.

Nereus weighed his options carefully. If he went to clean up after the crewmen, they might be drunk enough to leave him be for the night. He might be able to get a full night’s rest, curled into the safest corner that he could find. Though, the chance that they might be fully aware of him and might try to play mean tricks was always an option, too… But, if he went with the Captain, it was hard to tell what might happen to him. He was at the very least drunk, and the fact that Nereus might have pissed him off made him so very scared of what might happen behind closed doors.

The lesser of two evils was, like always, still evil. But Nereus was going to need plenty of energy to work tomorrow, and the day after that, and the day after that. If he wanted to survive, whatever would hurt him the least had to be the better option. 

“I’ll clean up after the crew, Captain,” he finally said, after he had managed to gather enough courage for it.

The Captain breathed a deep sigh, and Nereus wasn’t sure if he had made the right decision or not. He felt the gentle press of lips against his bruising cheek, before the Captain pulled away to stare him down with cold eyes.

“Skitter on down to the underbelly, then. I’m sure you know your way around by now. Don’t get any other… ideas, you understand me?” The Captain’s voice had turned to ice, and Nereus certainly wondered if there was a right and wrong choice. 

But he nodded like he was supposed to. You never disobey the Captain. 

Nereus forced himself to his feet and dusted himself off, before running to the door that led into the lower cabin of the ship, holding back king-sized tears and praying that none of the crewmembers asked him about the new bruise against his cheek.

[theholycovenantrpg]

CONGRATULATIONS, ALYX! YOU’VE BEEN ACCEPTED FOR THE ROLE OF ARAEL.

Admin Rosey: Oh god, I think Arael was one of the characters that caught me by surprise. But the absolutely mastery of this application, did not at all surprise me because only Arael could - and should - be so effortlessly captured within the span of a single application. Tragedy, as you said Alyx, is woven into Arael’s bones and the fact that they recognize it and are so unbroken by it in their countenance says absolutely everything to me. The plots that you have lined up only feed into that tragedy more and I, for one, am absolutely here for it. I think that Arael is ripe for evolving and I completely trust this beautiful starlit character in your capable and loving hands. Please create and send in your account, review the information on our CHECKLIST, and follow everyone on the FOLLOW LIST. Welcome to the Holy Land!

OUT OF CHARACTER

Alias | Alyx

Age | Taylor Swift vc: Idk about you, but I’m feeling 22!

Personal Pronouns | She/Her.

Activity Level | hopefully pretty active? I have work and classes but I’m taking less hours and my internship is done so I’m hoping I have more time to be on the dash.

Timezone | CST.

Triggers | REMOVED

How did you find the group?  | I saw plenty of ads for it on my personal.

IN CHARACTER

Character | 

Arael: “Lion of God”; She couldn’t remember her original name. Her memories of the cold abyss of the galaxy came to her in bits and pieces that she latched onto as one would latch onto an extended hand. She could remember that feeling of peace within her falling star. She could remember that acceptance as her annihilation came nearer. She could remember the rage and melancholy that took over her being as she opened her eyes and examined the wings that protruded from her back and the knowledge that her destiny was ripped away from her. The name Arael was a reminder of that original loss. She was never supposed to be a lion of god. She was never supposed to be an angel stuck on Earth. God had claimed her for himself. He claimed her to be a lion, and all she could do was set her icy gaze on her surroundings and roar until her voice grew hoarse and the burning in her chest faded away.    

What drew you to this character? |

To be honest, I lurked on the admins’ blogs as the RP was originally being promoted. I tend to search for characters I like by quotes and images posted to their tag, and there was one quote on Arael’s tag that caught my attention. I don’t remember what exactly it said, but I knew it meant Arael was a character I needed to keep my eye on.

I love characters with tragedy built into their bones. There’s something so compelling about a character going through hardships and how they react to those hardships. Arael’s power alone showed me that she was a tragic character. To be able to hold everyone’s hope in your hand aside from your own? It seemed like a twisted gift from fate. As I read more, I realized that she was a creature of tragedy. She was pulled from the night sky against her own will. She was made into god’s image without her consent, and forced to endure the knowledge that she had lost her home and her destiny. She stared at the night sky, but she was never truly able to go back to her original home.

I like playing around with grief and how it impacts a character. I like seeing if they drown in their feelings, or if they rise above the grief and move forward with their lives. I think Arael is drowning in her grief. She’s stuck in this tunnel of rage and revenge that will consume her if she’s not careful. She’s blinded by this need, and I find that incredibly interesting to explore. Will she burn out? Will she start a war between the three parties? We’ll have to see.

Her story also kind of reminded me of Buffy Summers from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Not in a direct way, but there was a storyline where Buffy died and her friends brought her back from heaven and Buffy talked about being in peace before they brought her back. Arael being torn from her fate and made into an angel reminds me of that. The melancholy and grief they both felt from being ripped away from their rightful place. The way everyone notices that mourning. It gave me parallels.

What future plots do you have in mind for the character? |

“Why are you full of anger? Because you are full of grief.”

→ She was happy. For so long, Arael didn’t know what that feeling entailed. She had looked upon her existence as a punishment. She stared at the realm of heaven and only saw a jail cell. Her body was crafted by god, yet all she felt was unfamiliar in her own skin. Uriel had changed that. She had brought a smile to the otherwise stoic angel’s face. She was warmth wrapping itself around Arael’s cold heart. She was that flicker of hope that Arael felt in other people. She was hers, and someone had ripped that away from her. As she stared into her lover’s empty gaze, all she could think about was doing the same to whoever had killed her. She will rip the world apart if that’s what it took to satisfy the grieving of her heart. The only question will be: who will be spared in the end? 

A big part of Arael is her dealing with that loss of her lover and that need for vengeance. I definitely want to explore her seeking out the answers to the murder. I want to see her dragging suspects to be interrogated in the hope that one day the right person will tell her what she wants to know. I want her to endanger innocent lives in her quest for justice. I want her to be so consumed with rage and grief that either herself or others get harmed in the process. She is a star on a collision path, and I want her to burn and burn out during this journey. Most of all, I want her to find the person who did it. I want her to find them, and I want her to kill them. It's the only way for her to be satisfied. It’s the only way for her to put her grief behind her and search for that glimpse of hope again

“You turn the pain into power.”

 → To some, her powers seemed like a blessing. To be able to hold onto someone’s greatest hope was to understand what truly made someone feel at ease. It was the way their eyes sparkled whenever their favorite person walked in a room. It was the passion that would surge through an individual during that last battle of a war. It was a glimpse behind the mask that people often wore, and Arael held all that at her fingertips. To her, this power was another way fate mocked her. She could feel what people’s greatest hopes were. She could fill them up with so much hope that they would be blinded by that desire. She could do so much for other people, but it would never be done for her. She couldn’t fill herself up with that hope. She couldn’t understand that blinding urge that she gave out. What does one do with a gift that serves to remind someone of the very thing they’re lacking?

I want to explore the depths of her power. I think that there’s more to be discovered with her abilities, and I want her to discover exactly what she can do with her gift of hope. I want her to see if her power could be used in the opposite direction. Could she drain someone of their hope? Could she blind someone with utter hopelessness to the point that they see nothing but their dreams slipping from their grasp? I think it would be a dangerous discovery if it were possible. I would also like to see a situation where her gift is irreversible— whether it be gifting hope or taking it away. Perhaps anger clouds her abilities and she over exerts her gift. Perhaps she’s trying to find an ounce of her own hope by filling someone up with so much hope that they become a shell of their former self. I want to push her powers to its limits, and I want Arael to see what sort of consequences are dealt from that discovery. 

“You allow your anger to blind you.”

→  Arael’s been in a fragile state since the death of Uriel. To feel the small hint of hope get ripped out of her hands by an unknown assailant left her in a state of brokenness. She’s blinded by this ideal that she’ll be satisfied with vengeance. She has it built up in her mind that the death of this assailant will bring her the peace that she almost had with Uriel—- the same peace that was ripped away from her by god. What do others feel about this mentality? Do they find it foolish? Do they understand her mentality? Or perhaps they see an opportunity hidden behind those aching eyes? 

I want to explore the concept of manipulation with Arael. I’m usually not fond of manipulation plots, but I feel like Arael’s in such a vulnerable state right now that it might be possible. I want someone to see that anger and despair. I want someone to see this utterly terrifying, broken angel and use it to their advantage. She’s the perfect weapon if used correctly. Her tunnel vision for revenge could easily be directed towards someone’s enemy if they whispered the right words to her. She could start a war if the correct side twisted her enough. I want to see her revenge used for someone’s personal plans. Maybe she kills an innocent person because she was led to believe they were present during her lovers death. Maybe she drags an innocent victim to Abaddon because she was led to believe they had valuable information. I want to see that manipulation, and I want to see the fallout of it. 

“You reach for a soul that forever escapes your grasp.”

→ Arael loved Uriel, or at least it was the closest she ever got to love. The angel had gifted her a slice of hope that she had lacked since her creation, and Arael has been seeking a semblance of that hope since her departure. She feels lost, like she was back to her first years as a star-turned-angel, and she hates that feeling. She hates the emptiness that fills her heart as she watches the mortals her companion once adored. She hates the way she feels so distant from the other angels. Most of all, she hates that their love story ended so abruptly. She misses her with every fiber of her being. One often wonders what they would have their final words be to a loved one, but what if she could have that do over? What if she could catch a glimpse of her again?

I want her to approach Ryuk about contacting her dead lover’s soul. I think there’s a variety of reasons why she would want to talk to Uriel again. I think the most basic one would be that she wants to see her again—- even if it’s only through Ryuk’s words. This was the one person that broke her out of her shell and showed her that the world was worth more than mourning. The most plot related reason would be that she can ask her what her last memory was. Arael has exhausted her options when It comes to possible suspects, so perhaps Uriel could remember who was around during her death or who even caused her to perish. I also like the thought of Uriel advising her against this revenge quest, and Arael refusing to listen. She doesn’t realize that this isn’t what her lover would’ve wanted. She doesn’t realize that she’s doing more harm than good. It’s overall a more personal plot, but it’s good development for her and helps lead to either her collapse or her breakdown at realizing what she’s becoming. 

“Anger was better than tears.”

→  Mortals were the envy of God’s creations. Angels were tasked with protecting them like a dragon protects its treasures. They razed cities, enacted miracles, all for the species that found favor in God’s eyes. Arael was never a mortal. She never understood the significance of their kind. She had no attachments to the beings aside from those tasks formerly given to her. She didn’t care for them like Caphriel did. She didn’t despise them as others might. Her feelings towards them might be classified as indifference. However, the stance changed after the death of Uriel. Eyes that might have had a glimpse of care for the beings shifted into anger at the thought of one of them murdering her beloved. Eyes that casually looked over the beings stuck to watching them with careful eyes. One human in particular has gotten caught within her storm. The question is: will she shatter the tentative peace that held the world together? Perhaps a bigger question is: will she have any regrets if she does? 

Personally, I find the thought of Arael killing Bastien quite sexy. This would be completely up to the Bastien player, but even if it didn’t go that far, I still love the connection. I like the thought of Arael breaking that peace between the three factions. She sees Bastien as this arrogant fool, and she’s bothered by his position of power. How does her Uriel, gentle and kind, die while men like him thrive? It frustrates her. I’d like to see her knock him from his place at the table. Whether this be done through violence or jeopardising his spot amongst the ten would be up to the Bastien player and what they feel comfortable with, but I can work with either one. Arael’s desperate for some sort of vengeance. I think the more she struggles to find the one who killed Uriel, the one she’ll lean into these desires to destroy someone else, and Bastien is the unfortunate victim of her wrathful gaze. 

“You’re a being of isolation.”

→ She is the only one of her kind. No one else knows what it’s like to live amongst the stars. No one else knows what it’s like to be plucked from the night sky and recreated in someone else’s image. No one knows the loneliness that comes with such a fate. The other angels are her brethren, her allies, but they don’t relate to her on that level. She’s a solitary creature, a lone star stuck wandering the earth, and it’s a painful existence. Will she ever figure out that some stars lay in clusters? Will she ever realize that she has the opportunity to shed that loneliness? It’s hard to say. It’s hard to pull herself out of the isolation that she chose from the start. 

I want to explore her dynamic with the other angels. I think Arael struggles with connecting to them due to her origins. She doesn’t have that connection of being formed from the Earth or reborn as an angel. She’s different from the others, and that caused her to separate herself. I want to see how they take her quest of revenge. Surely some of them were close with Uriel, maybe even close with Arael, so perhaps they would support the mission. On the other hand, I’d love to see that disapproval. I want to see them trying to temper her anger only to be met with an icy glare. I’d love to see someone try to talk her down from her grief. She’s blinded by this mentality of an eye for an eye, but she doesn’t realize how that affects her fellow angels. I want them to show her how it affects them. Let them get caught in the crossfires of her vengeance. Let them struggle to pull her away from the brink. I think the angels quietly realizing that this fallen angel, this hollowed soul, might do some real damage would be delicious to watch. 

Are you comfortable with killing off your character? | Absolutely!  

IN DEPTH

Driving Character Motivation |

They say the story of Arael is a tragic one. She was a burning star plucked from the sky and formed into god's image. She was placed among the angels, meant to stand holy and divine alongside her new brethren, yet she found herself standing alone. This angels story isn’t built on blessings. Her story isn’t a fairytale told to the young mortals in an attempt to sooth them to sleep. No, her tale is built on loss, and that’s what motivates her throughout her journey.

Her original loss is the loss of her original destiny. She was stripped of her purpose, ripped away from her original form and forced into a foreign body. She stared at her reflection and a stranger peered back at her. She examined her wings and only saw the fragments of her former self embedded within her feathers. She destroyed cities on God’s behalf, and yet all she could feel was a hollowness in her chest. Loss was her mentality within this point. That acknowledgment of what she’s become and how to endure that was her guiding factor in her initial years of life as an immortal being.

The next stage of loss was the loss of her hopelessness. Uriel had dragged her away from that hole she tucked herself in. The fellow angel opened her eyes to the possibilities of life, and for the first time, Arael’s world wasn’t a bleak landscape. She had color in her vision. She had a slight light in her eyes. Her smile wasn’t forced. She was learning what it was like to look at life as an adventure rather than a chain wrapped around her ankle. This stage of loss was a good thing. It was a stage of growth for the distant angel. She lost that depression that overcame her during her early years. She lost that emptiness that had wrapped itself around her like a blanket.

This latest stage of loss is the cruelest of them all. This burning star, this cold-eyed angel was finally learning the most human of experiences: death. She felt that small sliver of hope rip away from her as she held Uriel’s prone form in her arms. Her body shook with anger as she realized she was once again alone. Her motivation stems from the impact of that loss and the grief that nestled inside her heart. She’s driven to revenge. Her eyes are blinded by the need to punish the person that ripped that hope from her. A part of her knows this is a dangerous path. She knows what happens to stars that burn too brightly. Yet, the loss keeps her locked in its grasp. If she is to burn out, if she is to be destroyed, let it be with the knowledge that she has conquered the loss that has been trailing after her for years. 

In-Character Para Sample | 

“I brought another one.”

The history behind her statement was not lost on her. Each week she’d latch onto a lead. Each week she’d drag them into the heart of the black cells. Each week she’d watch Abaddon pull out any sort of answers they might have buried in their chest. Each week she’d feel the bitterness of disappointment settle on her tongue as she realized she reached another dead end. It ended the same every time. It couldn’t end the same way this time.

Her eyes traced over the features of her latest endeavor. His porcelain skin and almost white hair reminded her of Uriel, but the resemblance wouldn’t help him out of his fate. She had plucked him out of the crowd in hopes that he had any recollection of that fateful night. With each individual, She wanted a direction. She felt herself grasping at ghosts as the figures from her memory dwindled, and this feeling of loss was becoming all too familiar. 

She released her hold on the boy and watched him try to scramble his way out of the cells. Mortals always seemed to have that reaction. Their fight or flight kicked in, trying to make sense of the location they were forced into, before finally realizing the fight was for nothing. They will leave once she gets the answers she’s seeking. 

And yet, the boy wasn’t providing those answers. She watched him endure the torture despite the pain it brought him. She watched him fighting back tears, denying pain until it couldn’t be denied anymore, and yet still the answers remained behind clenched teeth.  

“Again.” 

Her voice was strong as she stared at the bleeding, frightened human before her. She refused to accept that she had reached another dead end. She clung to her quest with sharp claws, and she refused to release her grip for even a second. She was a vengeful angel, a flame with no mercy in sight, and all would endure the burning until she felt satisfied. 

Her eyes flicked upwards to meet Abaddon’s, but she didn’t turn away. She didn’t care if the demon saw the hurt in her eyes or the flash of desperation that would spill out every time a mortal came to her with no answers. Maybe the demon had the same look when they got tossed out of god’s favor. Arael didn’t ask. Their relationship wasn’t built on sharing stories or reminiscing over almost forgotten memories. Their relationship was a mutual understanding--- a knife and the being that wields the instrument. 

“Do it again until I say otherwise.” Do it again until I can hold any sort of answers in my hand. Do it again until the ache in my chest disappears for a second.

Arael watched the mortal flinch at Abaddon’s nod with cold, unfazed eyes. The scream that erupted from the boy’s mouth would make others grieve, but it only reminded her of the hollowness inside of her. She felt nothing as she watched the pain on his face. She felt only her own rage trying to crawl out of her chest. Perhaps this is what it meant to be a star. Perhaps this was her destiny all along---- to burn from the inside out until nothing but a hollow shell remained. 

And perhaps she’ll succumb to her destiny, but only after the grieving in her heart is satisfied. She’ll burn up, but she’ll bring the person responsible for her demise with her. 

Extras | 

Inspo tag: https://elidclochan.tumblr.com/tagged/insp%3A-arael

Pinterest board: https://www.pinterest.com/aesthctics/insp-arael/

[rosewinterborn]

11/11/11

I waited too long to do this, so now I have 44 questions to do. RIP. Tagged by @writersblockandapotoftea, @arwallace (I know you tagged @expositionpreposition but it’s easier to do it here!), @shit-she-wrote, and @atinydino

Cap:

Who was your childhood hero?

Honestly, probably JKR. Again, RIP.

If we didn’t start the fire, who did?

People like my dad who say “millennials” like it’s a derogatory word probably

What made you start your wip?

Reading too much Dresden Files and also looking at magic academia posts on Tumblr (Gutter Witch); Reading Eragon (Companion to Dragons); Wanting to make an open magic world (Witches Anthology); Reading too much Stucky fanfiction (Fractal); Listening to the Magnus Archives three times through in a month (CHAF3k); wanted to go on a magic adventure with my high school friends (Children of the Light)

Hogwarts house?

Gryffindor!

Star Trek or Star Wars

Star Wars, though I like both

What was your pre-teen bop?

Uhhh Taylor Swift’s whole second album

If you could have a fantasy creature as a pet, what would you pick?

A dragon about the size of a cat that could sit on my shoulder and talk to me

What’s your pet peeve?

Feeling like people are upset with me but won’t talk to me about it

Dracula or Frankenstien’s Monster?

Haven’t read Dracula so Frankenstein’s monster, I guess.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve said to a friend?

I mean I had a conversation with two lesbians about dildos yesterday, soooo

If you had to murder someone, who would it be?

No one. I honestly don’t think I’d be able to live with myself after.

A R Wallace

Which book(s)/series would you compare your current WIP(s) to?

The Dresden Files. Though I did have someone say it was like reading a better-written Mortal Instruments. I was tickled.

Would you be willing to adapt your WIP into a movie one     day? Why or Why not?

Yes. Please. Let me see my work come to life.

What is your ‘writing ritual’? (do you make sure     you’ve made a cup of tea, sit in a particular spot, etc.)

I don’t have any particular ritual, I usually just try and seize the energy when I have it. Right now I am trying to sit at my actual desk to work, though, and during school if I had anything that I desperately needed to get done I took my ass to a coffee shop and told myself I wasn’t allowed to leave until it was done.

How much has writeblr helped you with your writing?

It helped me find a writing community that inspired me to get back to work after the depression had taken it away from me. I’m not as active on writeblr as maybe I could be, but the writing discord I found through it has been a lifeline.

If you could be one creature (real or mythical), what would you be?

A dragon. But like, one of the ones that can shapeshift. I also like being human.

Sum up your favorite WIP in one sentence

Oh god I’m supposed to have a favorite? That’s not gonna happen…

Gutter Witch: Local teens sick and tired of prophetic bullshit

Children of the Light: Estranged assholes learn to love each other again and also stop the apocalypse

Fractal: Hell on Earth in so many ways

Companion to Dragons: Girl’s asshole father sends her and her sister on a suicide mission and thinks that’s the end of it (surprise!)

Witches Anthology: literally a whole bunch of short stories so I’m not gonna try

Which of your characters is your favorite?

Whyyyyyy idk in GW probably Hunter, he’s fun to write. Overall maybe Sterling, my enby necromancer in the anthology

Which of your characters is your least favorite?

Hunter’s mother. Like honestly, every time I write about her she gets worse.

What do you believe is the most overused trope in your WIP’s genre(s)?

Melodrama.

Favorite season?

Autumn

If you could travel anywhere in the universe, where would you go?

Several places in Europe, in no particular order.

Eva:

1.     What’s the first story you remember writing?

A story about a cat and a mouse becoming friends.

2.     How has your taste in books changed since childhood?

I’ve tended a lot less towards high fantasy. I think it’s too much of an energy investment to try and understand the worldbuilding right now, whereas you can usually just jump into urban fantasy. I’ve also gotten a lot more interested in horror.

3.     Do you see any similarities to your favorite books in your work? If yes, what are they?

If I’m being real honest, most of my wips are direct rip-offs of stuff I’ve read/watched/listened to, at least in the first draft. I usually try and direct my obsessions into creative energy at some point, with differing amounts of success.

4.     What sort of music inspires you?

Stuff with strong beats/baseline and vaguely rebellious lyrics. So like, lots of Imagine Dragons and Fall Out Boy. But also trailer music like Epic Score and Two Steps from Hell

5.     Favorite book?

These are the most evil kinds of questions you guys.

I can’t think of any published books I’d call my absolute favorite, but I do have a handful of fanfics I read on at least an annual basis: War, Children, by Nonymos; To Be Vulnerable Is Needed Most of All, by perfect_plan; and Schroedinger’s Romance by lesbuchanan

6.     Favorite mythology (Greek, Norse, etc.)?

Probably Celtic? I’m really rusty on it though

7.     Dream vacation?

A long, long trip through Europe without having to worry about money

8.     Favorite writing snack?

I don’t really eat when I write because its too much of a distraction :P

9.     What tea do you drink the most while writing?

Irish Breakfast

10.  Do you have a special writing cup, that you drink tea out of specifically when writing to fill you up with inspiration?

I have a couple I’m more likely to grab, like my Night Vale Community Radio mug or my white Starbucks mug with the gold lettering

11. Write your favorite quote from your recent wip!!

Just outside the beam of light was a circle of what looked like black paint, tiny sigils scratched into it, shimmering uncannily in the dark. Wisps of that grim light drifted from the sigils to the figures at their center, dancing around Mara’s hands, clutching at Hunter’s shirt. Anywhere they touched his skin, blood seeped from a new laceration, sluggish and dark and horrible. 

“Hunter,” she breathed. 

Then she heard him. 

“Run, Cady,” he croaked. “Tell my mom...she’s a bitch.”

Ames:

1.     What’s your favorite season and why

Autumn! I love rain and also that it’s not super hot or super cold

2.     What’s your favorite food?

Bread.

3.     Who’s your favorite character in your most recent WIP?

Hunter Bishop, asshole extraordinaire

4.     Do you hide easter eggs in your writing? If so tell me a few.

Hm. If I do, I don’t consider them easter eggs, just references. Though I did have someone in my creative writing class ask if the sandwich my protagonist was eating was based on one served in one of the restaurants on campus (and he was right)

5.     Would you prefer your WIPs to be turned into a movie or tv series? (feel free to tell me about more than just 1)

Gutter Witch should just be a movie, and I’m leaning towards that for Witches as well. Fractal could go either way, though I’m leaning towards TV show. Children of the Light could go either way. CHAF3k will hopefully be a podcast at some point.

6.     If you could have a writing studio anywhere with anything in it, what would it be like and where would it be?

I like the nook I have, though I think I’d adjust the height of my desk chair and add a coffee maker and a closer bathroom so I don’t have to walk all the way across the apartment. Oh, and I’d get a massive whiteboard so I can go all conspiracy theory on my wips.

7.     What music do you listen to to get you in the zone? (the writing zone)

Trailer music! Epic Score and Two Steps from Hell. I can’t listen to music with lyrics while I try to make the words go.

8.     What’s your worldbuilding process?

Panic.

But actually, I think of the aesthetic I’m after and then try to make everything build off of that. Along the way I usually try to figure out what thing I’m consciously or unconsciously basing it off of so that I can make necessary changes.

9.     Who are your most influential authors?

JKR (sorry), Laini Taylor, Juliet Marillier, Tamora Pierce

10.  What’s your favorite kind of cookie?

French macarons

11. Give me your favorite excerpt for your recent WIP!

“I wanted to talk to Madge.”

“Madge is dead,” Hunter said, confused. 

“I’m aware,” she said. “I asked Death to take me to her, but she said she couldn’t and suggested projection instead.”

Hunter turned from the stove with the most dumbfounded expression Cady had ever seen outside of cinema. “You asked Death,” he repeated.

Cady snorted. “Yeah. I asked Death.”

“The cosmic power, Death.”

“The cosmic power, Death. We’re good friends. She comes over for tea on occasion.”

Hunter stared at her, expression halfway between disbelief and suspicion. “You’re fucking with me.”

“I’m not fucking with you,” Cady said. “Death is the whole reason I came to this Coven. She sent me here when I was thirteen.”

Hunter sank back against the counter, looking almost faint. Whatever he’d been cooking began to sizzle alarmingly. “Death has been...in this apartment.”

Cady nodded.

Not tagging anyone else on this one. I’ve learned my lesson lmao.

[maplestreetsims]

get to know me tag!

so, i came to catfish you all with my updated simself, also i made her with alpha cc bc why not?

I saw @galaxsims did this and i thought it might be fun, so the point of this is to make a simself and answer some q’s so people get to know you better

I’m going to tag anyone who wants to do this, Just go crazy 

   - trash under cut -

1. What is your full name? Constanza

2. What is your nickname? most people call me coti, i had a few friends that called me constance tho

3. Birthday? July 1, 2000

4. What is your favorite book series? i dont read as much as i used to so i dont have one

5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? aliens yes, ghosts...maybe? just for the spookines of it all tbh

6. Who is your favorite author? i dont read dont come for me

7. What is your favorite radio station? i never listen to the radio, mostly spotify

8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? anything cheese flavored, or like pizza? idk im thinkin chips here

9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? amazing, cool!

10. What is your current favorite song? literally queens entire discography??? like i saw bohemian rhapsody last week, i liked queen before but now im like on hyperdrive or something

11. What is your favorite word?  chaos

12. What was the last song you listened to? Somebody to love, by (you guessed it) queen

13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? hmm... i dont know, skam, maybe freaks and geeks

14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? pride (2014) always makes me feel happy when i watch it, i really like it

15. Do you play video games? yes

16. What is your biggest fear? Ending up alone, but not romantically, more of like no friends, or family

17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? i dont know... i just try to be a good person?? like i put myself in others peoples shoes and treat them how i would like to be treated i guess, bc i know how its like being treated like shit and i wouldnt want that for anyone lol

18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? my socializing skills? or lack thereof 

19. Do you like cats or dogs better? i like them both the same

20. What is your favorite season? i dont like any season sjdjsdk

21. Are you in a relationship? nope

22. What is something you miss from your childhood? just.. happiness?? not only my own but like everyone in my family (yikes) also my innocence 

23. Who is your best friend? haha ha

24. What is your eye color? brown

25. What is your hair color? Dark brown 

26. Who is someone you love? no one honestly, maybe my pets?

27. Who is someone you trust? literally anyone who is nice to me, that’s bad

28. Who is someone you think about often? my friends, classmates

29. Are you currently excited about/for something? nothing currently

30. What is your biggest obsession? The sims, life is strange and detroit become human.....also queen?, weird combinations

31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? Art attack! also the cocodrile hunter??? that was my shit!!

32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? I know i just said i trust everyone but like....i dont open up, like ever

33. Are you superstitious? No

34. Do you have any unusual phobias? Elevators?? and cars...are those phobias?

35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? Behind

36. What is your favorite hobby? Editing, playin sims... u know

37. What was the last book you read? I cant remember fghjkljhg probably something for school

38. What was the last movie you watched? Bohemian rhapsody rip

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? i wish i could play any musical instrument, but i suck tbh

40. What is your favorite animal? cats and dogs™

41. What are your top 5 7 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow?

@pollinationqueen​ @cosmic-espie​ @omiscanking @bloomlet @gunthermunch @cowberrys and @mellocakes ♥♥

42. What superpower do you wish you had? telekinesis??? um hell yeah why would anyone want anything else

43. When and where do you feel most at peace? this is weird but when im riding the bus home, listening to music

44. What makes you smile? my simblr, youtube videos...

45. What sports do you play, if any? i wish

46. What is your favorite drink? coca cola beech! 

47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? I dont even remember, but i had to write something like that around this year at least

48. Are you afraid of heights? yes

49. What is your biggest pet peeve? it used to be hearing people chew, but i think im over it

50. Have you ever been to a concert? no, never

51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? No

52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? a vet

53. What fictional world would you like to live in? idk sis

54. What is something you worry about? my future, and my life

55. Are you scared of the dark? sometimes

56. Do you like to sing? yes, only when im alone

57. Have you ever skipped school? yeah, but i tried not to, it felt like i was missing out and that kinda made me feel like shit??

58. What is your favorite place on the planet? i dont think i have one, but more like a bunch of them? and only at specific times if that make sense, like the outside of that theater at nightime when i went to see a play with my friends a while ago

59. Where would you like to live? mmm maybe the usa? or anywhere where i could get to speak english all the time

60. Do you have any pets? a cat and a dog, Mercury and Candy!

61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? Night owl, def

62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? Sunsets, im never up for sunrises anyways, unless i stayed up all night

63. Do you know how to drive? no but i hope that i do at some point, although im scared of cars

64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? headphones

65. Have you ever had braces? nope, my teeth are as straight as me

66. What is your favorite genre of music? rock, indie...maybe pop rock?

67. Who is your hero? i dont have one

68. Do you read comic books? not really

69. What makes you the most angry? myself sometimes

70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? Real book all the way, when i do read that is

71. What was your favorite subject in school? cinematography class???? idk how it translates properly but that was my fave, although the teacher fucking ruined it for all of us tbh

72. Do you have any siblings? nope

73. What was the last thing you bought? a bus ticket

74. How tall are you? 4′9...yikes

75. Can you cook? not at all

76. What are three things that you love? this blog, my family and my pets

77. What are three things that you hate? hooo boy

78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? i have 0 friends what does that mean? jk i actually would say its pretty equal 

79. What is your sexual orientation? yes

80. Where do you currently live? Uruguay, montevideo

81. Who was the last person you texted? my dad

82. When was the last time you cried? last week

83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? jenna and julien, and probably every sims youtuber(seriously)

84. Do you like to take selfies? not so much

85. What is your favorite app? tumblr, or youtube

86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? its alright

87. What is your favorite foreign accent? portugeese

88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? mmm all of them

89. What is your favorite number? 7

90. Can you juggle? Nop

91. Are you religious? no

92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? The ocean

93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? hahah no

94. Are you allergic to anything? i used to be allergic to a bunch of shit when i was a kid but im not allergic to it anymore?? like chocolate, oranges....cats, and dust

95. Can you curl your tongue? Yes

96. Can you wiggle your ears? Yes

97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? always hopefully

98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? Forest

99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? i dont really ask for advice that often so...idk

100. Are you a good liar? No, but i try

101. What is your Hogwarts House? Hufflepuff

102. Do you talk to yourself? i used to talk to myself all the time, but now i barely do it, thats a good thing right?

103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? Introvert

104. Do you keep a journal/diary? no, i used to when i was a kid but it was pure garbage

105. Do you believe in second chances? Depends

106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do? look for an id to see if i cant turn it in, if not....well

107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? Yes, but only in certain things

108. Are you ticklish? i dont even know, probably not

109. Have you ever been on a plane? no

110. Do you have any piercings? yeah, my ears

111. What fictional character do you wish was real? idk

112. Do you have any tattoos? No, but hopefully i will some day!

113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? i dont know....

114. Do you believe in karma? yeah

115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? no

116. Do you want children? yeah why not

117. Who is the smartest person you know? honestly i don’t know

118. What is your most embarrassing memory? doing a cindirella theatre play for my school when i was 12, i was cindirella, i dont wanna talk about it njxkcfxf

119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? not that i remember, i always end up falling asleep, dosent matter if its like 10 minutes 

120. What color are most of you clothes? green.........i dont even like green

121. Do you like adventures? yeah maybe, depends on what it is

122. Have you ever been on TV? yeah i have actually lmao, it was on a kids tv show 

123. How old are you? 18

124. What is your favorite quote? “We don’t make mistakes, just happy little accidents” 

125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? savory!!

[sapphirebluestars]

April 27, 2017 (i know i’m a little late but school has been crazy busy rip 😭)

That was the day I started this blog and now we’re here!!! I started tumblr so I could find an aesthetic lockscreen of Mark and ended up sticking around because I met some really cool people and found a place I felt like I could really be myself. ❤️

I can’t believe it’s been a whole year of countless reblogs, a whole year of screaming in the tags, a whole year of just trying new things and breaking out of my comfort zone to do things and “meet” people I never would have met if I didn’t join tumblr.

I’m not a huge blog, but that doesn’t really matter to me. To those 74 people who followed me I could never be more thankful that you hit that follow button, thank you! It means more to me than you guys even know and my heart soars for the all of you (and anyone else who is to come hehe) 💞

That being said I would like to personally thank some people who I see blowing up my activity log/my mutuals whom I love very much (in no specific order, and I’m super duper sorry if I forget anyone!!): @novaurora13 @ablueboombox @mark-tuan-and-namjoon-lover @blondejeffrey @antchurch @real-kpoptrash @ibseb8978 @jeonginsdimple @sikeadelic @shootfortheestrella @different-or-weird @yesitscriminal @puervy @joie-collins-2000 @torwebb22 @jaeflowers @rmismyguy42069 @thatbrillfeeling @seobangchan @makeu-ssi @imjaebumleader @chang-bean & @jypark-gae

Special mentions to: @sleepynel / @got7-markjinson ❤️, @jj-nyoung ❤️, & @jae-bummer ❤️ I don’t get to talk to you guys as often because we’re all busy but from the absolute bottom of my heart I love and thank you so much for joining the crazy ride that is my life and my never ending swerving when it comes to choosing a bias LOL

Much love to my nets: @7ornevernet and @nctwetnet without your platforms, I wouldn’t have met the people I know now. Thanks for letting me be a part of a family! 💚💚

Now for some super special mentions of people who have made a really big impact throughout my first year of tumblr:

@monstabaebae to my first ever mutual, and first ever tumblr friend: I’m so thankful for you and am so glad I have you in my life. We’ve both been so busy lately so I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to you, but you met me when I had like maybe 5 followers and now here we are. Had I not requested that fic from you we never would have become friends, and I couldn’t imagine my life without you! 😊

@morkookie to my most loving and far away mutual LOL: Ara I love you girl, you’re literally the sweetest and to this day i still can’t remember how we even became friends but you’ve easily become someone I can come to when I need advice, or just to talk to in general. I can’t believe how far we come and I hope we continue to get even closer as we grow, you seriously are so amazing and it sucks that we’ve been so busy but we’ll talk soon! 😘

@meatmeinthemiddle-mark to my “why wont you ever let me live but i still love you” mutual: JAAANNN i’m thankful i have you to scream with because no one else gets what i go through in terms of getting wrecked by Changbin/dreamies 2000 line except for you. You’re the sweetest and one of the most kind hearted people i’ve met since i started tumblr. Your happiness never fails to find its way to me when i’m having a bad day and it’s like you know when i’m having a bad day too because i’ll wake up to a pic of Jisung or something in my DM’s hehe. I’m so glad I have you Jan! You make my world go round! 😍

@saltee-alice to my equally wrecked NCTzen/ahgasister & mutual: We only recently got close but the fact that I’ve talked to you for the past week or so every day and you haven’t gotten tired of me speaks volumes LOL thank you for being there for me, always reminding me of who my man is and then proceeding to wreck me right after; i love and hate you all at the same time but you continue to amaze me everyday with how kind and loving you are. I FREAKING LOVE YOU CHAS YOU ROCK MY WORLD. 😩❤️

Last and definitely the most least (jk woman I love you) @parkhabits the Jin to my Mark, my woman, and my long distance bestie: You thought I was a big blog and slid into my DM’s and ever since I don’t know if I regret responding or not LOL you were there for me from the “omg hi lovely i hope you have a nice day!” to the “BITCH WTF DID YOU JUST DO ASINFOIA” and i would not have it any other way. You continue to be like the older sister I always wanted but never had and someone who guides me not only in life but in ways I don’t want to be guided *cough cough stop corrupting me I’m innocent and pure cough*. I couldn’t imagine being on tumblr and not being your friend because you’ve helped shape me in real life and through my internet presence by being someone I look up to greatly and just someone who never fails to be there for me when I need it. I can’t wait until the day I’m flying to meet you, because this is actually going to happen (hopefully after I graduate next year) so I can HUG AND SQUEEZE THE LIVING CRAP OUT OF YOU. I hate love you so much woman!!! I guess I don’t regret responding to you after all hehe 😘💗

I’m sorry this was so long, but in 1 entire year I’ve managed to meet some of the greatest people and made some of the most amazing memories. To everyone who follows me, will follow me, or just creeps on me from time to time: THANK YOU for making this year worthwhile and completely and utterly amazing. Idk where I’d be without tumblr or any of the people I’ve met but I seriously thank ya’ll for being a part of my first year on tumblr. Here’s to many many more years of screaming in the tags and reblogging and hopefully more writing to come soon!

Much love,

Ashley 💙🌟

[bladeghost]

tagged by @skylar102 (it’s been a while and I hope you’re doing well ^_^) sorry was this a tad late lol

1. have you ever been in love? 
Ya.

2. who is your favourite artist? 
Breaking Benjamin
3. what is your favourite music genre? 
Rock/Alternative/Metal 
4. have you ever had a penpal? 
In elementary school at some point. 
5. are you single or in a relationship?  
Single. 
6. what colour are your eyes? 
They change with what I where, but somewhere between blue and hazel. 
7. what is your favourite word? 
Defenestration (def. The act of throwing someone out a window.)
8. do you play any instruments?

Guitar and piano. (Also singing if that counts)
9. what is your favourite colour? 
Blue and silver
10. do you have any nicknames?

I’ve used Bladeghost for years for games and discord and what not, so “Blade” has been a name a lot of friends have or still call me that. And a few rock stereotype names, (like Tom Petty, VanHalen, Metallica, etc) because of my hair and being a musician lol. 
11. what is your favourite flower? 

Any that don’t murder my sinuses, but also Orchids they’re a really cool. 
12. what qualities do you find attractive in a person? 
Showing passion towards things they find important. Being funny/dorky/aloof. Being trustworthy. 
13. do you have any pets? 

A dog named Tootsie that makes up 99% of my snapchats that aren’t food. She’s the goofiest little dog ever and I love her. 
14. have you ever travelled outside of your home country? 
Ya, only one place so far which was Aruba. But I really wanna go to more places, I’d really like to go to Europe someday. 
15. what language(s) do you speak? 
English and some broken German, enough to ask some basic questions.
16. who was your first crush?

Oof, I’m gonna answer from during Highschool because I can’t even remember that type of thing from before. And it was my friend Cynthia. 
17. do you wear glasses? 
Yup, haven’t met a person with worse eyes then me to date! Rip. Though I am having surgery in a month that is going to fix my eyes so I will hopefully be able to see perfectly afterwards. 
18. what is your favourite pastry? 
Cinnamon Rolls or Brownies 
19. do you prefer swimming in a pool or in the ocean? 
Pool. 
20. bright, dark, or pastel colours? 
Dark colors. I’ll wear black till they make something darker. 
21. what is your favourite social media app? 
Is Youtube considered social media? Because I spend like 20+ hours a week listening or watching youtube… If not then Tumblr.
22. what is your sexuality?

Straight
23. do you have any siblings?

Ya, I have one brother that’s 10 months younger then me. (born in the same year)
24. what is your favourite scent? 
New leather or plastic. Its just like a pleasant smell. 
25. where do you want to travel to? 
Europe, especially England and Ireland. Also Germany. 
26. what is your favourite film? 
Lord of the Rings (the extended versions) because me and my brother will sit and watch all 3 over the course of 10 hours in one sitting. 
27. who do people say you look like?

Rockstar/Viking/Thor Some variation of someone with long hair lol. 
28. who is your best friend? 
Andrew
29. what is your dream job? 
Honestly I don’t just have one job, I love creating things, whether its cosplay, props, metal working, wood working, music and/or recording, editing and directing videos. All of it I just love and my dream would be to be able to be in a position professionally to be able to do any and all when the inspiration strikes. It may seem a tad unrealistic, but as long as I am creating all the time then I will be happy. 
30. do you know how to drive? 
Yes.
31. who is/was your favourite teacher? 

My percussion director from my highschool. He was and is an amazing teacher who just embodies the passion he has for music, preforming, and teaching. My respect for him has only grown after all the years I have worked with him since highschool. 
32. are you a feminist? 
Yes!
33. what is your zodiac sign? 
Capricorn
34. do you enjoy reading? 
I do, though I haven’t had a ton of time for it for a while, and I don’t always have the patience to sit and read. But! I have recently gotten into audio books so I’ve been starting to get through quite a few books once again.
35. do you have any hidden talents? 
Hidden, not really. A few I don’t show a whole lot, like singing. Or like a weird one is I can drink a whole bottle of water in 6-8secs lol 
36. have you ever dyed your hair? 
Yes! I have dyed it silver, with the roots being black. It’s currently faded to a kinda white with a hint of blonde and my nature blonde has been growing in, which has actually been fading into everything decently. 
37. what is your favourite thing in your bedroom? 
A wood box full of Zelda trinkets/emblems, that were a gift from one of best friends. 
38. what is your biggest fear? 
Not accomplishing anything. 
39. can you whistle?

Yes
40. do you make your bed every day? 
Nahhhhhh…
41. do you have any tattoos and/or piercings? 
No, though I am interested in getting a few tattoos at some point. 
42. have you ever been on a roller coaster? 

Yep.
43. surfing or skateboarding? 
I have done neither, surfing I think would be more interesting to me. But I’m gonna say skiing because I am actually very good at that! (FIGHT ME)
44. are you a dog or a cat person?

Cats are great, but I am definitely more of a dog person. Though I would love to have both when I have my own place.

45. what is your favourite animal? 
Dragons. (Wait real? Shit. Ummm… puppies)
46. do you have a skincare routine? 
Not really, just shower every day lol.
47. what time do you typically go to bed at and what time do you wake up at? 

I don’t. What is sleep? Usually, sometime between 2-4 am for going to bed. And waking up between 10-11am.
48. what is your favourite memory? 

Sappy shit with a friend x//x

49. how tall are you? 
6’3”
50. what is the best gift you’ve ever received? 
Idk… I don’t think I can pick one and I’m really thankful to have enough great people in my life that I can say that. 
51. do you have a garden?
No.
52. do you like bugs? 
Not really but I tolerate them and respect them, unless they’re in my room. 
53. what is your natural hair colour? 

Blonde
54. what is your favourite food and drink?

Cheeseburger or chicken tenders with honey mustard. It’s a tie because I will get both most of the time rofl. And Cherry vanilla coke. 
55. do you want kids?

I am fairly in the middle on this, definitely not right now. 
56. what is/was your favourite class?

BAAAAAAAAAAAND
57. what colour shirt are you wearing?

Black
58. if you could time travel, what year would you go to and why? 
Ummm. When ever our next technological revolution for our planet it. 1 because forward presents less probs then back and 2 because there would be some amazing stuff if we made it long!

59. what is your skin colour?
Pale af. 
60. hugs or kisses? 
Hugs
61. have you ever drunk alcohol? 

Yes
62. have you ever done drugs?

No
63. netflix or youtube?
Youtube!

I’d like to tag: @wearywithoutsleep @arachno-va if you are up for it! Np if not 😁

[sukisdeliveryservice]

helloo! how was your day milady? its always a pleasure reading your replies too! <333 and i hope you'll enjoy your hiatus :))

also idk i just find parrots rly pretty, and the way the supposedly repeat stuff you say is rly endearing too djhdjfhfb in all honesty, im pretty new to the whole baking thing, but i love making cookies :D they always smell so lovely djfjdjdj i'd love to explore and make more stuff!

you do digital drawing? :o id love to see something! only if you're comfortable sharing though ofc <3

mmm i haven't watched alot of tv shows really tbh. my favourite and the only one im invested in atm is friends, ive watched alittle of modern family and how i met your mother, but that's pretty much it ig jdndjdj

as for movies, i love the greatest showman! it hits a bit too close to home but i always love the goosebumps i get whenever i watch it :) next would be thor ragnorok, which ive mentioned before djjdjs but its just really funny and love it sm, and it was loki's turning point so bonus marks. black widow is also a new favourite <333 though i felt terrible when they were being tortured as kids, but it really showed a new perspective on natasha and her past. i also really like the notebook! everything was so sweet it rly nearly brought me to tears jsbdjdjjsh and finally the shawshank redemption! it was something i didn't rly think i would like, but i was really pleasantly surprised lmao. everything was pretty depressing but it also kinda blew my mind away :D

for songs, my no.1 song rn is nct dream's irreplaceable, idk why exactly but i love that song. i also have a thing for songs that are similar genres to baekhyun's un village, nct jaehyun's try again and jungkook's still with you, so those are three more though im not really sure if they're really the same genre anyways and its been almost a year now and i still cant get over how nct 127's boom makes me feel 💕

hmm for fics, i dont really remember everything i read, but i absolutely loved your ceo cheol fic 🥺 it was so cute and the way reader and cheol work perfectly together T-T most of the time fics like these consist of cold bosses who only show a little warmth to the reader, but cheol was so sweet throughout everything it just made everything so much more adorable and endearing. i really really loved it :'D <333

what are your top 5 of these? and also for the next question, have you ever

been to a concert?

sneaked out from your house?

gone through a one direction and/or bts phase?

had a crush?

had a pet?

performed in front of a crowd?

read a book/fic that you love so much you still think of it occasionally? (yes im asking for recs)

- 💎 anon who loves you lots!! <333

milady?? heh you sound like chat noir from miraculous ladybug (my guilty non guilty pleasure show) i was thinking carefully about these answers thats why it took so long!! i'm going to go to bed after this is posted hehe this is gonna be a long reply so take all the time you need to answer pfft- my day has been lovely thanks to this ask by the way!!

yeah i'd love to show you something!! there were a couple burried in my rambling tags but when we're allowed to turn off anon i'd love to show you!! do you have discord btw?? it might be easier to talk on there afterwards!!

ooh how i met your mother is probably my favourite sitcom!! maybe that and b99. its pretty long and the ending was erm...not good imo but i still think the long length was worth finishing!!

the movies you picked are lovely anon!! i am also a fan of the greatest showman since i am also a big fan of musicals!! it was pretty fast paced but overall the grandeur and visuals of it stunned me and the sountrack is amazing!! i haven't watched black widow but hopefully soon!! and i dont usually watch a lot of western films but i really want to check out the notebook as well!!

ahh your music taste is also exquisite!! so im guessing you're more into like soft pop/rnb kinds of songs!! i definitely listen to baekhyun's music before sleeping since his vocals really suit soothing songs. i really need to check out more of nct's music - hello future was really good!!

OMG ANON YOU READ MY CHEOL FIC??? i was so unsure about that one but it makes my heart squeeze that you read all of it and liked it :'D

okie so my top 5 (no particular order) i'm probably forgetting a few

tv shows - 1. HUGE atla fan!! i even liked legend of korra even though some poeple didn't 2. how i met your mother 3. horimiya 4. extraordinary you 5. yona of the dawn

movies - 1. your name 2. big hero 6 3. tangled 4. weathering with you 5. from up on poppy hill - literally any ghibli i've watched

books (sorry lots of these are manga) - 1. fruits basket 2. haikyuu!! 3. SNOW WHITE WITH THE RED HAIR (IT'S MY FAVOURITE EVERYTHING) 4. to all the boys i've loved before (it's very different from the movies) 5. i don't mean to bring up percy jackson since it's been years but those books are still everything to me

songs - 1. eight (iu, suga) 2. all my love (svt) 3. kidult (svt) 4. dandelions (ruth b) 5. somehow (day6)

thank you for asking anon! i loved listing these out! next to the never have i ever!!

been to a concert? NEVER!! waiting for svt to come to canada, they didn't list canada for ode to you :(((

sneaked out from your house? NEVER i've sneaked people into my house...

gone through a one direction and/or bts phase? I HAVE! bts but it was only for like a month before i fell in love with 13 men...

had a crush? soobin duh i'm beginning to realize now that maybe i've been more in love with the idea of love instead of harbouring genuine feelings // NEVER!!

had a pet? I HAVE!! multiple fishes...rip

performed in front of a crowd? I HAVE!! i've played the drums during school concerts and during a competition a few years back!!

read a book/fic that you love so much you still think of it occasionally?

for this last one i'm going to tie it in into my top 5 fics of all time!! (with mini reviews!!) i should make a masterlist of my recs honestly - when i compile all of my favourites i think that's when i've be brave enough to tag the writers fjdshfdkj

out of touch, out of time by @/by-moonflower // i read this months ago and my heart literally still sinks whenever it even crosses my mind. i don't think i've ever been so emotionally impacted by a fic before and this is my go to rec for anyone who wants to FEEL something. i don't wanna go in depth as to spoil it, so i'll just leave it at that for now.

outlasting the universe by @/by-moonflower // you know what i'm just gonna link their entire masterlist because all of their works (even the short drabbles) are just literary masterpieces. the way they write makes you feel so alive?? and everything just speaks for itself and is so authentic. they make you feel like you're wandering amidst a ghibli film, periof. authentic is the best word i can use to describe their work and this fic is just the definition of beautiful.

bluff and nonsense by @/thepixelelf // THIS FIC. it's my go to rec overall. it was so memorable had such good flow and just genuinely so genuine?? i have no other words to describe it, it's just so ,,, lovely. the plot takes you on a journey and it's woven together so seamlessly.

in a span of three months by @/viastro // i won't be surpprised if you've read this one already because this author is a true staple in the carat writing community and honestly all of their works are simple timeless. this one really hit the mark for the me the most though and i finished it all in one sitting.

wish by @chocosvt // goodness i'm a fan of hoshi fics aren't i? this one was also really memorable for me and i have read it several times!! friends to lovers but they really made the trope their own and added lots of twists and tadbits that gave it so much charm!! i would also rec this as a starter fic for svt :))

phew thank you for reading all of that anon, i really appreicate you taking the time to write such love responses and questions. now i'd like to know your answers for the same questions ,,, have you ever:

been to a concert?

sneaked out from your house?

gone through a one direction and/or bts phase?

had a crush?

had a pet?

performed in front of a crowd?

read a book/fic that you love so much you still think of it occasionally?

to add on:

been to a place/been in a particular mood after a specific event that you wanted to stay in forever?

written a piece of work that sparked energy within your fingertips!!

met a person/have someone in your life who you now just treasure so deeply?

this is getting super long we need to reveal our identities soon fkdsfkjlds

[imashayne]

Klance Christmas Fic.... thing

Okay so here it is, right on the dot for the final week, a fic that was supposed to be a short which is definitely not because it has two parts. Also this first part covers the first weeks, part two has the fireworks bit. So I guess I just tag things? idk how do. It’s really rough I didn’t have time to go over it or have anyone look at it. Hope someone enjoys this. I had fun writing. And it was a fun break from my main Klance fic XD. A very Klance Christmas                

Keeping track of time in space was hard. Well, of earth time specifically. But Lance would be damned if he didn’t even try.                

So ever since the first night they’d arrived in the castle-ship the blue eyed boy had done up a makeshift calendar. It was a simple thing. A piece of note book paper that Lance had found folded up in his jacket pocket. He’d made a grid on it, marking the months and days. Each night before he struggled into an exhausted sleep he made sure to X out another square.               

 Sure it wasn’t perfect. But it was what Lance had to work with. Even Lance doubted its accuracy, but it lent the boy a much needed sense of normalcy. Gave him an anchor in this chaotic mess that had become his life.                

It was because of Lance’s calendar that the three of them were at the space mall.                

Pidge picked up a bright orange streamer which had just been tossed at her feet. More decorative items flew around her in a confusing whirlwind.                The green paladin blinked in confusion. How had she ended up here? “What are you guys doing?”               

 “What about this one Lance?” Hunk called over to the other boy, holding up what looked like a banner.               

 Lance poked his head out from the pile he’d been working on. “Maybe if we can’t find anything better…” Pidge held up her hands in exasperation since she’d been ignored. The movement caught Lance’s attention and he sighed. “I know your head is in Galra space right now but focus Pidge!” His tone was flustered as he dove elbow deep into another stack of odds and ends. (Since they were the poor alien’s only customers the shop owner allowed them to look through the back of his shop)”Well since you weren’t listening before-“ he grunted, lifting up and moving bundles of fabric. “According to my calendar it’s almost Christmas! Now I’ve missed a lot of things fighting in this war. My brother’s 11th Birthday. The fourth of July… HALLOWEEN! Which is like the best in my family you know! But so help me I will NOT miss this!”                

“Your… calendar?” Pidge pushed her glasses up her nose. “You know that I can calcula-“               

 “No! No no no nu-huh nope!” Lance dropped the mass of electrical wiring that looked completely tangled beyond help and stomped towards Pidge, waggling his finger and shaking his head decidedly. “You stop right there. You don’t get to take this away with…. Science!”               

 “Anyway Shiro thinks this will be good for morale!” Hunk added in, placing another item in the sadly small usable heap.              

   Pidge picked up the banner, holding it up to inspect. “This isn’t even that Christmas-y” She muttered.                

“We’re working with what we got.” Lance snapped.               

 “ You could help us out instead of standing there like a cave bug.” Hunk added hopefully.                

“Hey I only came along to see if they had any new video games in!” 

 “Okay yeah-“ Hunk huffed as he pushed a large box to the side that looked to contain nothing but old VHS tapes. (Pidge made a mental note to dig through it later to see if there was anything good amidst the artifacts) “But was there anything new?” He didn’t even pause to wait for an answer. Hunk already knew that if Pidge had found anything that’d caught her eye she wouldn’t even care what the other two were doing.                

With a groan she stepped into the fray.

 “Fine.” 

***                

 Alteans didn’t seem to believe in ladders. So lance had to improvise. Currently he teetered upon one of the trays that had been used to serve food and beverage to the Arusians. Lance wasn’t sure how much the weight limit was or if they even had one, but it hovered precariously for him and Lance was more than thankful that he was almost done.               

 Of course Lance had done up the entire room by himself. Which had eaten up most of the rest of his day. Once they’d gotten back Pidge had muttered a swift excuse and disappeared. Hunk was already putting together a space Christmas dinner to be remembered! As he’d put it. Lance thought it was already going to be pretty memorable, being as it was in space. Shiro was busy being the leader and Allura was busy being a princess.               

 Coran had helped Lance for a bit, but the new red paladin had to send the inquisitive Altean away. Sure Lance loved to talk but not when he was trying to actually focus on something and the mustached man kept asking about Christmas! Lance had almost yelled that he’d explain later.                

It hadn’t gone unnoticed by the residents of the castle of lions that Lance’s mood had been less humorous and more sharp. Now he had never been known for an abundance of patience but the boy’s fuse seemed to be at a record short. Almost like a certain mullet haired boy who had once been a paladin. In fact this short tempered change had seemed to overtake Lance around the same time that Keith had decided to step back from team Voltron and into team Mamorites. Or whatever.                

While the rest of the paladins knew very well of Lance’s current frustrations (being as each of them had their own given the circumstances) none of them dare speak about it, or well knew how to breach the topic with their usual bright and teasing Lance.               

 But for the Hispanic it was always on his mind. Keith was always on his mind.              

  Lance gave a particularly hard tug on the streamer he was setting up above the entryway and felt the thin paper rip just as the hovering tray tipped. He only had a moment to think ‘oh quiznak’ before he felt himself falling.               

 It came as a surprise to him that he was able to stop himself, lowering his center of gravity and tilting his body to regain balance. The blue eyed boy was just congratulating himself- The training was really paying off- when something bumped straight into the tray, sending both Lance and this someone toppling to the floor.               

 “What the-“ Lance gasped as he felt strong arms circle his waste. Even as he himself threw his arms out to catch himself, and whoever had knocked him down.                

It all happened in less than a tick. Kolivan and he had just left the bridge where they’d been giving their report from the last information gathering mission. As they’d prepared to leave Shiro mentioned that Lance would probably want to talk to Keith. And before the boy could ask even so much as a ‘why’ Shiro had turned back to Allura, already the two of them back to planning out the coalition’s next move.                 

That had led him here, into the great hall, after seeking out red’s new paladin on the training deck (Keith knew it was unlikely but still ….) in Calterneck’s room and the pool with no luck. He hadn’t even been gaming with Pidge.               

 Finally Hunk, who’d been covered in some powdery green substance akin to  flower and had been found in the kitchen’s (of course) told them that Lance was….decorating? Which had of course led Keith and his superior (and mentor) Kolivan to this moment. The half galra boy’s shoulder had bumped into something midair upon entry to the room. Keith of course being Keith, was now almost constantly in battle mode and as he felt a body slam down into him, before he’d even worked through how an enemy could have breached the castle’s defenses, or who this was, he was moving. Reacting. His arms wrapped around a slim waste, readying to throw the person, only he’d not had any time at all to plant his feet and so they fell fast.                 

They never actually landed though. Not hard at least. The other had twisted their body so the impact was not fully on him, Long arms braced against the rest of the force and a voice that he recognized was sputtering.               

 “What the-”               

 A loud clang echoed as the tray came down against the bac of Lances head, “-cheese” squeaked out.               

 It was Lance that recovered first surprisingly. Since he wasn’t suddenly painfully aware of how the other boy’s body was pressed against his own like Keith now was.                

He tried to scramble away but their limbs had become tangled in the fall, legs folding around each other and arms intersected.                

 “Sorry! I  didn’t mea-“ Lance’s half formed apologies were cut short as he was lifted bodily by Kolivan. As soon as they were free of each other Lance was finally able to see who he’d fallen on.                 

“Oh it’s you-“                

“The black paladin-” Kolivan began to speak but Lance was talking over him.                

“Why don’t you look where’ you’re going?”                

Keith had righted himself and was now glowering at the other.               

 “What are you even talking about?”

“The princess requested-” Kolivan tried again to no avail. 

“ You’re the one who fell on me!”

“Yeah well if you’d been paying attention!” They continued to ignore and talk over the older Galran soldier, who wasn’t entirely sure how to interject between these two. 

Lances voice held a hard edge to it. Once Keith hadn’t heard in a while. It was so weird. They hadn’t really fought for a while. But with everything else that had been going on, namely how it was always mission after mission with the blade, Keith didn’t have patience left for Lance’s shit. His violet eyes flashed before the blue light of the castle’s torches caught against silver tinsel that was twisted and strung down from the vaulted ceiling.

The fight was instantly forgotten as Keith finally took in the room around them. It had been transformed.Different shades of red fabric had been folded and pinned in such a way as to make them look like flowers. These had been hung beneath the lanterns. Along the stairs streamers of forest green had been twisted and swirled around the banister.The arched ceiling was the true beauty. Lance had managed to find a box of simple glass ornaments, which he ‘d suspended down along with thin silver and golden threads. Everything sparkled

.“Woah…” It was all Keith was able to get out

.“What is all of ….. this?” Kolivan was apparently seeking out a word that wouldn’t insult what he could only see as useless and frivolous. Realizing that there was a moment of silence between the two of them he swiftly spoke before either could answer him. “The black Paladin stated that you wished to see us?” 

Lance blinked in confusion, catching up with the sudden switch from fighting to having to fight down his own blush at Keith’s reaction. He turned to look at the tall Galra instead. He’d wanted to see Keith, though it didn’t really matter if Kolivan was there as well. It just made sure Lance could keep himself in check.

Of course Lance hadn’t been aware of his feelings for the hotheaded mullet until it was too late and he’d already left team Voltron. Not that Lance knew what he would have even done if Keith was still around like all the time. It would still be better than wondering when…. If he’d see the other again.But no Lance was studiously trying NOT to think about all that right now! He could sort through his own luggage later.Now was the time for Space Christmas!

“Yeah!” He threw his arms open, smiling as brightly as he could in an attempt to emulate cheer he didn’t quite feel. “You guys are invited to the Christmas party! It’s gonna be the bomb… not like… bomb like the last party we had here of course.” A nervous laugh escaped him and he cleared his throat, powering through the awkwardness he’d created. Because he could already see in Keith’s posture and expression how non-plussed the newest member of the blade was. Where as Kolivan seemed simply more puzzled. “But this time there’s not going to be so many people. Just…” Lance swallowed hard past the lump that had formed in his throat. “family ya know? But since the blade is like, your new team now they’re welcome to come.” Lance only faltered slightly at the end, muscles in his face growing tense and he tried to keep the smile up and pretend as if saying that new team thing hadn’t hurt at all. As if his chest hadn’t grown tight with the words.

“I don’t know Lance… we’re in the middle of a war-“

“I won’t take no for an answer!”

Keith opened his mouth again, not even sure how he could explain to Lance that they had another important mission (weren’t they all?) that they were supposed to be leaving for right now. But he didn’t want to be the one to shatter that hopeful look. He always seemed to be after all.

“What is this Chris-mas?” Kolivan saved him. Keith snapped his mouth shut for once. The leader of the Blade could be the bad guy here.Lance took a deep breath in, readying himself to launch into an explanation when Hunk came huffing into the room, apron still in place and looking somehow messier than he had when they’d left him.

“Hey guys sorry to interrupt. I just wanted to make sure I got the taste down for these space fried plantains. I mean they’re not actually plantains but it’s the closest I could get-“

 “Plantains?” Keith asked as he watched Lance take a large bite out of …. Whatever it was, straight off the fork that Hunk held

.“From Earth- you really are an alien!” Hunk joked as Lance moaned happily, taking his dear sweet time to swallow. Keith shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably.

 “Hunk!” It was weird hearing Lance take on a chastising tone, and yet it seemed natural coming from him. But it wasn’t the yellow Paladin’s comment that had made a strange kind of heat fill up his body. “It’s kinda like a banana I guess?”

Keith had to bite the inside of his cheek as Kolivan sounded out the word silently. His stoic features not changing in the slightest as he mouthed out ‘banana.’

“Seriously you’re a genius big guy! Ellos son perfecto! Though you don’t gotta put ‘space’ in front of everything!” Lance snuck another bite. And another rolling wave of fire moved down through Keith, coming to settle in his lower abdomen. Lance needed to stop making those noises. And feed his damn self. And maybe not talk in Spanish like that again. Something else that had caught Keith off guard. “Anyway Kolivan, Christmas is an earth thing right?” Lance again turned back to the conversation, but Hunk swiftly interjected again.

 “Oh yeah! It’s the best! It’s when you get together with your family and you eat all this wonderful food-“

 “And you put up all these really pretty decorations like trees and lights and candy canes.”

“Candy canes taste so good! And Fudge and Peanut brittle!”

Watching the two of them explain what Christmas was reminded Keith of two literal children. 

“Oh and you get to open up presents! Our tree always have piles on piles of presents but that’s more because of all my siblings-“

“Speaking of presents I almost forgot about the secret Santa! Good thing I caught you guys.” Hunk pulled a small bag of folded up papers from his apron pocket and held it out. Kolivan looked skeptical as he reached in and pulled out a paper.

 As soon as Keith had done the same a heavy hand came down on Keith’s shoulder. “Well Paladin’s we shall make this…. Chris-mas. Now we must leave for another mission.”

Keith hated howLlance’s face crumpled, and how he’d swiftly pushed a smile back in place as if he’d never lost the bright expression.It pained the half galra that he’d grown more used to seeing this forced smile than Lance’s true one. 

“Really? What are you guys up to this time?” Hunk asked.

“Oh nothing too big!” Keith rushed out before he’d really thought his words through as Kolivan led him out, thankfully remaining quiet. Without realizing it Keith had curled his fingers into a tight fist. The crumple of the paper drew his attention down to the fist. Cautiously he unfolded it. For some reason dreading looking at the name scrawled across it in tiny messy lettering. He wasn’t evens sure why. He’d faced down legions of Galra! Fought Alien armies in a damn warship to free the universe!

He quickly peaked downwards, shoulders slumping.

“What is this secret Santa? What secret is he keeping? And why is the red Paladin’s name written on this small scrap of paper?” Kolivan was shaking his head, bemused by the earthlings and their traditions.

“What!” Keith resisted the urge to storm on ahead of the other. Taking in a deep breath. “no-Santa is… a big guy that gives out presents. So with secret Santa you get a present for the person who’s name you pull, but YOU keep it a secret.”

“Hmmm…. I do not know what to get the young paladin.”

“Yeah? I got Allura and I’m in the same exact boat.” Keith folded his arms.

“Would you perhaps prefer a trade? You have known Lance for longer than the princess. It will be the same to me either way.”

Keith’s head swiveled.

 “Really?” He coughed and had to keep himself from snatching the paper from Kolivan’s larger hand. The sudden excitement abated swiftly though as he looked down at Lance’s name.It wasn’t as if he even knew what the Cuban boy liked besides girls and bad humor. If he had any time he might have been able to talk to Hunk about what he should get for the other boy.

“This celebration of gift giving, the Galra do not have a day such as this. Presents are only given on the day of one’s birth. You must share with me more stories of this Chris-mas.”

Keith folded the paper back up gently and slipped it into his pocket quietly. “I don’t have as many stories as the other two. Dad…. Wasn’t around as much. Not on the holidays … or any other day of  the year.” He muttered.The silence stretched out painfully for a moment before Kolivan’s deep voice spoke through it. 

“Why did you not tell the two paladin’s of our mission? It would have been pertinent for them to know.

”“Ch-“ Keith scowled, “I just didn’t want to bring Lan- I mean the other’s down with details. They were so excited.” 

Every mission was dangerous. Some however were more so.Especially when dealing with the druids. Which was where their next mission would be taking them. With ricks such as the komar and Naxzela they had to be more prepared for the magic users. But they had told Lance that they’d make it to his party. And Keith wasn’t a liar.

 If everything went according to plan they would make it

.***

The space was dark and silent. Keith’s body swayed as the ship they stood in entered the planet’s atmosphere. The only other movement was Kolivan, who was fiddling with his blade. Keith’s fingers gripped tightly on the bar above his head. Nine other Galra waited alongside him in the hold as the coalition fought around them in the sky. Even through the metal walls they could hear the ravages of the battle. Once an opening presented itself they would be dropped down. Right into the Druid’s keep. The faces behind the metallic masks were stoic, each soldier contemplating and preparing for the task before them. 

All save for Keith who’s thoughts were a thousand light years away. Pre-occupied with what could be the perfect present for a certain perfect boy. What did Lance even like? Keith asked himself for what felt like the millionth time. Girls, obviously, but it wasn’t like the boy could get Lance a girlfriend for Christmas…. Or wanted to. No. It had to be something he could wrap right? Like maybe some sort of…. Keith would have groaned in frustration, but even in his current state he could feel the heavy apprehension in the air around him to break this silence would break the rest of his teams’ concentration. 

Keith tried to focus on the mission at hand, chastising himself.But before he could enter the same frame of mind that the other’s around him were in, ready for blood, the floor dropped out beneath his feet and he was falling, purple light rising up to meet him.A veritable river of dark quentescense snaked beneath them. The other blade’s angled their bodies. But Keith had reacted too late. If not for Kolivan snatching him he would have dove into the acidic substance. He didn’t even have time to thank the leader before they were all moving. Sprinting towards the almost medieval like castle.

His body moved automatically even as the legions of drones clashed with their meager force. The knife in his hand almost seeking out the mechanical hearts. They moved easily through this obstacle.

Keith’s mind was still elsewhere. On the gift. It was such a simple thing! And yet he couldn’t conjure a single idea. Of course it wasn’t like Keith had much practice with this sort of thing. His dad had tried…. At times. But they’d never had much money. Keith had learned at a young age not to hope for too much. And at the same time to be grateful for what little he had.The experience he did have in receiving gifts he had even less in giving them. 

Keith should have simply kept Allura’s name. That way there wouldn’t be this pressure. Getting something for a princess would be less work. Lance had probably been spoiled as a kid. He sure acted like it. So what in the world, no the universe could Keith possibly find to impress the boy. For the briefest of moments Keith considered making something. But the idea was swiftly discarded. With what time would he be able to craft something And what would he even make? At this point the best he’d be able to throw together would be the severed head of a druid… which wasn’t something he thought Lance would appreciate. 

Vaguely Keith was aware of his surroundings. When the reddish glow of the dying star that served as this planet’s sun was no longer beating down on him. When the drones gave way to live soldiers. They’d reached the stronghold. Good, that meant that their mission was almost over.Keith wasn’t sure how much time had passed but with how smoothly things were going they were definitely going to make the Christmas party. It was weird. He knew he wouldn’t have a gift prepared…. But still he didn’t want to miss it. Easily enough Keith told himself that it was because he didn’t want to deal with a pouty or angry Lance next time they ran into each other. He wasn’t going to acknowledge any other reasoning.

It was pain that brought him crashing back into reality. He felt the blistering sting flare across his shoulder. He clumsily dodged the droid’s next two blasts before smoke swirled to his right and the dark clawed hand of a druid reached forth from it. Magic lighting up the palm. A wall of power slammed into Keith and the wind from the blow screamed in his ears. His back crashed into a wall and he crumpled. Black dots scattered across his vision, but as the violet mist once again churned around him Keith rolled. A tick later there was a crunching sound. He pivoted, snapping his arm up and letting the knife fly from his grasp.The druid’s were fast and their attacks unforgiving. He was beaten back, giving more found than he wished.

“Luxite blades are so interesting.” The deep voice intoned. “The metal is capable of reacting to the will of the one who wields it, and yet…” One of those strong arms snapped out and long fingers wrapped around Keith’s throat, easily lifting him from the ground as if he were nothing more than a rag doll . With his free hand the druid yanked out the sharp edge of Keith’s knife from his side where it had imbedded. Holding it up to Keith’s cheek and slicing open the flesh. “It still cuts you.” 

Keith swung his legs, hooking one up and around the druid’s arm even as he felt the growing pressure close off his wind pipe. Fortunately the momentum he’d already built up carried them both over. Unfortunately the grasp around his neck was still tightening. Keith tried to keep control of his body as they fell, thinking that if he could just get enough leverage he could escape this deadly hold.The druid wouldn’t let him. He was battered into the floor. The druid’s strength and body weight driving down against the one point. Keith flailed for his blade, had seen it fly from his attacker’s grasp when they fell. The edges of his vision were growing black from lack of air, and Keith wasn’t aware that the shadow that had risen up behind the druid was Kolivan until a blade was thrust through the monster’s chest and pulled upwards. 

Kolivan didn’t say anything to Keith as he helped him up but the silence was more than enough. The deep breath that he took into center himself sent a flare of pain sizzling through his body. There was too much going on right now to properly pinpoint exactly where this was coming from but it felt like everywhere. The boy jumped in after Kolivan, his generalized agony now enough to keep him focused on the fight. 

The battle continued to go downhill. The ease with which they had fought and destroyed the droids was now the mirror opposite to their conquering of the keep itself. They managed to complete their mission successfully. However it wasn’t without casualties.

And with how long it had ended up taking them they’d surely missed Lances Christmas celebration. Keith dare not even look at the time. Simply ask Kolivan as calmly as he could if he could to borrow a pod.

“You should get rest while there is time to do so.”Keith set his shoulders, not budging otherwise. If he had been human Kolivan might have sighed, rubbed at his temples or punched his nose whenever he was faced with the young one’s stubbornness. As it stood those mannerisms were of the human variety and so he simply nodded after a short pause. “Then I shall accompany you and deliver the information we’ve gathered along with the report to Princess Allura in person.”

Keith fidgeted the entire ride there. Ignoring both his aching body and the one time Kolivan suggested that he try to sleep. It seemed to take forever to get there. Each tick another that he was late. However when the beautiful Altean space craft came into view amongst the vast darkness and distant stars Keith wasn’t ready Forget the present that he wasn’t showing up with, Lance was going to be pissed that he was crashing in battle worn and late. The half galran hesitated in the pod as Kolivan disembarked, half hoping that the Galra leader would ask for Keith to accompany him to the debriefing.

Of course no invitation came, the older male knew why coming here so quickly was important to the former paladin. And so Keith took a deep breath. Like during the battle agony set his nerve endings aflame, but this time he knew it was due to the bruising along his rib cage. As he walked it was with a slight limp. Where he’d been shot throbbed as a reminder. Keith turned his feet towards the great hall.

He wasn’t even aware that he’d made it there, and for a moment blamed the haze of pain. Realizing a tick later that it was because the room was as dark as the hallways he’d been walking through. Only the dimmed lights catching on the silver tensile as if it were falling snow alerted Keith that he’d made his destination He stopped short and looked around, hand coming up to press against his sore side. The silence was deep.

He had missed the party then. 

It was almost like nothing had been touched at all. Despondently his violet eyes scanned the room. He was about to turn and find Kolivan when a hunched form caught his gaze.It was a testament to his training that before he could even blink Keith had his blade held aloft and at the ready. His first few steps towards the figure were soundless. Until he made out the white and blue design of the armor. Keith stopped trying to be stealthy and shifted to sheath his knife. He sighed in relief, opening his mouth to ask the other what he was doing here. But before he could get a single word out the other boy spoke.

“leave me alone Hunk. I’ll go to bed when I know he’s okay.”

Keith’s eyes widened. Perhaps if he’d not been so exhausted, or injured, he might have folded his arms, allowed one of his rare smirks to grace his features, and ask Lance in an almost innocent tone, ‘me?’

But as it stood his heart jumped up into his throat, which made the single word a breathless whisper. Lance’s head snapped up and Keith felt his chest tighten when he saw the bag’s under Lance’s beautiful azure eyes. “Shit Lance I’m sorry I missed the party-“ Keith didn’t often find himself apologizing, and yet Lance was one of the only people who ever got one from him it seemed.

Lance had jumped to his feet and crossed the space between them in just a few long strides. Keith spoke faster, thinking that the paladin was angrier than he looked and that he was about to get decked in the face. “I came as soon as possible but I couldn’t think of a present for you and there wasn’t any time between the mis-“ Warmth enveloped Keith, Lance’s arms circling his shoulders, pulling him in tightly. Fire ignited all throughout him that had nothing to do with the pain that spread as Lance squeezed him. Keith tensed for only a moment before leaning into this abiding heat from the other boy his own arms coming up under Lance’s gripping against the hard armor.

“You…” Lance’s voice was shaking and Keith’s eyes widened. He’d never heard the other sound like this. “just you, home safe. That’s all I ever want. That’s all I’ve ever needed Keith.”

That same incandescent fire that had burned earlier now rushed up into his face and Keith couldn’t do anything but turn his head into Lance’s shoulder.Neither of them was sure for how long they stayed like this, but Keith could feel how hard and fast Lance’s heart was beating even through his breastplate. And though the pace didn’t slow his own rhythm began to match it before Lance finally shifted. Keith didn’t let go as the Cuban boy leaned back and their breath mingled. It surprised Keith to see that a cherry red colored Lance’s olive cheeks, which of course only worsened his own blush. Beneath his fingertips the half Galran could feel Lance trying to pull away, to take another step back. Retreating the same way he’d been doing around Keith for a while now.Keith didn’t let him. The crimson on Lance’s cheeks grew deeper and spread up to the tips of his ears. 

Since he’d noticed months ago how the red paladin had began to pull away from him Keith had been at a loss for what to do about it.

Until now.

He looked up. “Oh shit we’re standing right under a mistletoe.” 

Keith felt proud of himself for catching the notorious flirt off guard as he spluttered, tilting his head to look and stuttering out, “I t-thought Hunk couldn’t f-find any? I was gonna put so many up-“ His voice was trembling in a very not-Lance like manner

Keith’s smile grew. “you idiot-“

“-Hey!”

“You were just supposed to shut up and trust me remember?” Without waiting another moment Keith tugged hard on the front of Lance’s chest plate. The other’s lips were so soft beneath his own.

[frenchibi]

Author About Me

Tagged by @oisugasuga​, thank you so much :DD

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

French (me) + Chibi (small, which I am) = frenchibi (yeah I’m unimaginative w/e)

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)

It’s Fix Me, my first iwaoi fic, probably because it’s been up longest ^^ (But! Burning Heart is coming closer and closer :D)

3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

Bunch of waves bc I love the ocean lmao

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

I’ve pretty much become friends with my regular/favorite commenters (because my favorites are those who START CONVERSATIONS & DISCUSSIONS ABOUT MY IDEAS) so - you know who you are xD

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

I’ve got a rec tag :D

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

157 bookmarks (all of which I also recommend) and, uh. A LOT of subscriptions.

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

Domestic fluff, honestly. Although I’ve been trying to diversify.

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

171 user subs (730 in total), 2165 bookmarks :0 (and yet, my comments ratio is small ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

Haha nope I write whatever I want honestly, it’s my account? Where I share what I want to? ^^

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

Did you mean: Actually finishing a fic that’s more than one chapter

No, actually there are many genres I don’t think I’m very proficient at. I’m working on reading more and analysing more so I can try my hand at different things.

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

50% iwaoi, 30% other fandoms and rarepairs, 20% original writing :’D But I’m planning on increasing the latter two a lot. Yes.

12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

71! 64 for Haikyuu, one each for Harry Potter, Les Mis, Fantastic Beasts and Thor Ragnarök, and three original ones! :D (support me here! Comment, kudos, share! :D)

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

over 200 in several different programs :’D No chill whatsoever lol

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

Write them down - though recently I’m trying to write stuff while I feel it instead of jotting it down for later.

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

I’ve done several collabs with @josai, and I’m planning some with @hajiiwa and @ricekrispyjoints! :D (and I had a bunch more planned with other people but they might be a while so ^^) Also i am always open to more collabs because I LOVE THEM!!! hmu!

16. How did you discover AO3?

Uhhh… through tumblr I think…? Like years ago, back when I was in the Spn fandom. I didn’t write for Spn though (at least nothing that I published), and I was active on ff.net before under a different name.

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?

I think I’ve peaked and now I’m just… slowly being forgotten ^^ But that’s fine. I used to be.. reasonably well-known I guess? I don’t know. In my corner of the fandom, at least. Nowadays less and less people read and comment on my fics and original works, but I guess that’s how it goes sometimes. I’m happier now though, because I really like what I’m writing.

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

HAH no I’m not nearly popular enough for that.

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

I had friends who wrote and inspired me all through school, but the author who always inspired me was J.K. Rowling because her books taught me to dream. HP was the first English book I read (and I learned to read German first, at school, while my mom taught me English at home) and I’ll never forget how empowering it felt, both because I read it myself and because of its contents. These days there are A BUNCH of authors I love, like Patrick Ness, Alice Munro, Michael Cunningham, Khaled Hosseini and many more!

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

Don’t try to please anyone other than yourself. Don’t be afraid to just… experiment, and if you don’t like what you’ve created, START OVER! Practice will make you better. Also, there is no “right way” to write, and there is no “wrong way”. Everyone finds their own, and it’s easiest to do that by trying out many different forms. I’d suggest writing exercises like taking a pen and not letting yourself stop writing for 5 minutes, no matter WHAT. Alternatively, make mind maps or plans or lists of stuff you want to talk about, and try out different styles? Take a topic and write a poem, an essay, a newspaper article, a horror story, a romance - whatever. See where your mind takes you. Writing has infinite opportunities.

What I also enjoy, as an artsy sort of person, is combining writing with other things I like to do. Like painting words into pictures I’ve drawn or sketched, or trying my hand at writing song lyrics. You’ll find something you can call your preferred medium - fanfic isn’t all there is, but it’s a great place to start and to hone your skills! :D

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

Both, it depends on the story.

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Nope, not really? I’ve been disappointed, but the “worst” thing that’s happened were misunderstandings that I was able to clear up easily. In the end a comment (either way) is someone’s opinion, and I don’t have to agree with it. I’m always happy that people share theirs - but I don’t take disagreements personally.

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

Only ones i haven’t practiced enough tbh.

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Like 50 at the same time. I want to do a giveaway soon tbh, if I reach 600 followers :D Until then I’m just. Writing what I feel like.

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

I’m always working on at least 3 at the same time lol

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

I did start the year with a goal to post one fic every week, and I managed all the way through June, but then my depression got worse and I needed that pressure gone. Now I just write when I feel like it and honestly I feel much better for it.

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Oh, CERTAINLY. I’ve been writing for near 15 years now xD And I started writing in German. I’ve come a long way since then - and a lot of it is because I read a lot.

28. What is your favorite story that you’ve written?

Idk, I’m very proud of my original works.

29. What is your least favorite story that you’ve written?

…there are old ones (on old accounts, and unpublished) that are cringey but I let them be because they helped me grow ^^

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

Hopefully less active in fanfiction and publishing short stories? Idk. I mean, I still care about fandom so I probably will never completely abandon it but, well. (I also want to focus more on work - translating - because I have goals that I want to accomplish.)

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

When you feel what you’re writing. It’s… realest, then, I think, and it flows for me.

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Finishing long projects. rip, my attention span is so tiny

33. Why do you write?

Because I have things to say that I think are worth sharing.

Ahhh thank you so much for this tag, it was really interesting!! I’m tagging @hajiiwa, @marleeb, @astersandstuffs,  @cheetahleopard, @ricekrispyjoints, @arturosavinni, @lalikaa, @josai, @ailarii and @anyadisee!

[fandomoniumflurry]

Dime for Your Thoughts- Part 2

Word Count: 1,323

Warning: More cuteness, fluff and flirting.

Summary: The lucky dime around your neck holds a special place in your heart. It is a reminder of the first day you met that special someone. No one knows what it means to you except for the professor that is the object of your affection.

A/N: This started out as my submission for  @teamfreewill-imagine 21st Birthday Professions AU Challenge. I’ve decided I wanted to give it another part. And so now I think its gonna be a series. IDK its fun and cute, and fuck I love it, so there you go. Let me know if you wanna be tagged.

You made sure to nap in your psych 101 class so you were awake and fresh for Miss Gen's class that afternoon. It was a good thing you sat in the back because the professor was more interested in keeping the guys in the front awake and so you were easily ignored. As far as you knew, you didn't drool or snore, even if you did there wasn't anyone that would tell you. You hadn't made any friends yet which you knew would come in time. For now, you were still caught up in the first days of settling in. You didn't even know all your roommates names yet. You had barely spent any time in the dormitory since school started. Hopefully, the whole year wouldn't be this crazy busy. You couldn't afford to sleep through this class every day. You made a mental note to buy a coffee maker as you stepped out of the room to head to your next class. Just as you had done yesterday, you had to book it from one building all the way to the other side of campus for your next class. Your feet were as heavy as your eyelids and you were sure that you were going to be late. You sighed with frustration and tried to will your body to move faster, drowning deep into thought to drown out the worries and concerns pounding you from all sides. This was not the time to get stressed, you had barely started and things were only going to get worse. 

A high pitch beep caught your attention, ripping you from your thoughts and causing you to stop in your tracks. It happened again, followed by the sound of a soft laugh. Pivoting on your heels, you wheel around to see a golf cart pulling up next to the sidewalk. A beaming smile shone brightly on the face of its driver and you smile equally as bright when you recognize the brunette. The professor looked young and chipper in the tiny vehicle, her brown locks flowing over her shoulders and a pair of shades hiding her eyes. She was dressed in a navy pencil skirt and a light blue blouse, which seemed to make her look all the more brighter. It still amazed you that she was over thirty.

The brunette climbed out of the golf cart and came to stand before you. Her hands came together, arms resting in front of her as her smile dazzled you into a haze. “Perhaps you would like a ride to your next class.” She offered, the words a quiet mutter in your ears. She had a tendency to get your head all muddled, making it hard to function like a normal person around her. She waved a hand with a light laugh to try and break you from your daze and you couldn't help but laugh at your behavior.

“That would be great. But…” Your apprehension was apparent on your face as you looked over her shoulder at the cart before looking around you at the people passing by. No one paid the two of you any mind but you still couldn't help but feel a twinge of paranoia which was clearly obvious on your face because Gen’s face softened. Even though your heart was racing, she giggled softly.

“It will be fine.” She assured you, a hand reaching out to gently tap against your arm. “Don't worry so much.” She dared to flash you a wink before turning to lead the way back to the cart. You linger for a moment, finding it impossible not to watch her lean form walk away from you. And she had to have known you were watching because she put a little more swing in her gait. This surprised you and your eyes widened but you didn't look away. It was just a short walk but she seemed to draw it out just for you.

How could she be so cool about this? She seemed fearless, unconcerned by anything or anyone around them. It was probably her most attractive trait. She was a strong independent woman who knew what she wanted and was not afraid to take it. There was a possibility it would come back to bite her but you weren't going to argue with her right now. After a beat, you finally followed her, walking around the other side to climb in beside her. The flutter of your heart was overwhelming once again as you remembered the night before when you sat next to her in her car. This time, of course, would be different, neither of you bold enough to kiss the way you had then. But it was clear, the urge to touch her made your hands twitch. And the same was happening to her because her knuckles were turning white around the steering wheel before she took off.

The ride was silent for a while, neither of you sure of what to say. And when you finally went to say something, Gen spoke up as well. This caused laughter and you decided that you would go first. “I had a nice time last night.” Your eyes looked down shyly, a hand lifting to tuck your hair behind your ear. Your bashful blush shadowed your smile and her eyes twinkled with delight. Her head nodded in agreement with a soft hum of delight.

“I can't wait til tonight.” She added with a sultry lilt. She glanced out the corner of her eye at you and her wicked smirk reached her eyes. Your breath hitched in your chest as your eyes lifted to look at her, the smile on your face relaying your agreement.

This was so wrong. This woman was your teacher and you couldn't help but let your eyes wander over her body as she drove. She was so beautiful and you found that your mind had drifted off to not so savory places. Your tongue slid over your lips, an action you weren't conscious of until she laughed and pointed it out. “You're drooling.”

Your blush deepened, your face turning a bright red as you looked away. This caused her to laugh again, her hand reaching out to gently pat your knee. It lingered there for a moment, sliding up your leg as it retracted. This did nothing to help your naughty thoughts and it sent a tingle down your spine and piercing your core. Her features seemed to change as well, her teeth biting down on her bottom lip as she cast you a glance once again.

Thankfully, with a clearing of her throat, the cart was brought to a stop in front of the building where your next class was. Your brow wrinkled as you looked out at the building then back at Gen. “I didn’t tell you where my class was, how did you--”

Your words were cut short when she offered you a wink then nodded her head toward the building to usher you off. “I have my ways. Now go. I’ll see you tonight.” You laughed with a shake of your head, wondering if she knew your whole schedule already. You climbed out and gave her a wink, subtly blowing her a kiss before you blushed and quickly shuffled off to the steps. You could feel her eyes on you and it made you feel warm. She didn’t drive off until the door closed behind you, both of you exchanging another flirtatious glance before you both disappeared from each other’s sight.

You couldn’t help but clench a hand around the dime, still in your pocket at this time. You grinned like an idiot, pausing inside the door to take in what had just happened. Sucking in a breath, you pulled your hand out of your pocket, gasping when you spotted the time on your watch. You were going to be late to yet another class. But she was worth it.

[chronically-fangirls]

Tell Us about Your Special Interest (or whatever you are into/passionate about)

Introduction by the one &only @march-for-no-reason : In part inspired by the Discord - I’ve noticed that many of us (myself included), have a particular sort of negative experience dealing with people. That is, when they dismiss, shut down, or outright demean your interests which are special and important to you. So I extend a hand, it’s okay. We’d like to know about your interests, it’s okay to talk about them, and hopefully provide a better picture of how wonderful this can be, and new knowledge you could learn through it.

Introcduction by me: Okay, but this is amazing. I saw the post @auroreamethyste made &I was like oh heck I wish I could do that too !!  Then I saw I was tagged either &I was like OMGOMG YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!  Get ready for ,, a lot of ........ Okay I’ll just shut up & make it. Thank you so so much for the tag !! you’ve made my day 65424 times better 

Alright !! there we go 

1. Introduce them: Gregory Stuart most perfect ever Lake  2. When did you get into them: I remember I started really to go crazy over him in July or August last year, but I believe it was probably earlier. But I first got to know him two years earlier.  3. What drew your attention: uhm, at first it was obviously 21st Century Schizoid Man’s bass part, but when I really really really fell in love with him was when I listened to his voice on tracks like The Sage, The Only Way, Trilogy, In the Wake of Poseidon, his vocal version for Cadence &Cascade, Epitaph and many many many many more.... I mean, seriously just listen to him  4. Favourite thing about them: O___________O oh my god how to pick -- Uhm. Except or like Everything, I’ll pick his passion &love to music - he said that but also you could literally feel it in every piece he had ever performed - music was his passion, it lived in his heart and you could sense how important it is for him. I love it so much, I hope I managed to explain it properly.  5. Is there anything you dislike about them? First instinct it yelling NO and running away, but I need to think of it for a moment. I’m sure there is a thing. The fact he’s dead  Uhm I actually found nothing  6. Tell us a little-known fact. Pals, I don’t think there is a thing I know about him that all the smart peeps here don’t know ,, I’ll try to dig in for a thing.  Oh oh actually I have one. Despite efforts to find resources &actual pics, it isn’t a confirmed fact, (I’m still digging for a proof) that while being in King Crimson, there’s a mention that he played the tambourine. Maybe I’ll pick up another fact that isn’t about the parsian rag or ,, anything ,  7. Tell us how much you love them: ???????????????????? HOW well just scroll through my blog &see it urselves 8. Is there anything you associate with them? hmmmmm ... There are several things. I associate him, honestly, a bit with the 19th Century. Idk, something in his personality ? Style? not sure I can point it out, but something in the sensation I get from the 19th Century aesthetic I can associate sometimes to Greg.  9. How do they make you feel? Happy, safe, inspired ,, sometimes really sad... sometimes really calm &sometimes hysterical as fuck, er, what else.... for me he’s a sort of a safe place I can go to when my mind isn’t at its best... squeaky!!! rlly squeaky &happy!! dolphin noises heck yeah ,,  But more than everything, just thinking of him makes me smile &it’s the best feeling in the world <3  10. Free Space! Anything you want to add, anything goes! promote them, have they inspired you to do anything?, favourite ________ from them, little things that make you squee….anything. :D

omg?!?! what to add what to add *rip me* 

First thing: you should listen to him bc he’s perfect  Random songs rec:  King Crimson: -Epitaph -In the Wake of Poseidon -Cat Food  Emerson Lake &Palmer: -Take a Pebble -Lucky Man -Bitches Crystal -The Only Way -Trilogy -Living Sin -Still... You Turn Me on -Closer to Believing  -The Sage  -Change -Affairs of the heart -For You Solo -It Hurts -Retribution Drive -Long Goodbye -Somone -Paralysed -Manoeuvers -Haunted 

I tried to make a short list but if you want more I can add on a different post. 

Oh, have a thing: 

From here , the actual story of the carpet ,, if you haven’t read it already. Many have no idead what’s the actual story with that carpet &too many wierd ass rumors run around. 

I will add some gifs because I love Greg’s gifs and ,, okay 

HIS SMILE I CANT 

LOOK AT THIS BEAUTY 

Damn it I can add all of the gif in the world I just can;t pick 

Okay this is last one I pormise 

Also, 

This , this , this , this , this , this , this , this , this , this , this , this  Examples to this perfect beautiful talented man &my fangirlism 

Sorry, I think links work only on computer &not on moblie ,, oops  Plus I wanted to post just one link but scrolling throguh my Greg Lake tag

That’s all I can think of for now. 

Ah also his guitar is perfect ,, I can’t find a blog post so I will post a pic (sorry if it’s already here!!) 

Isn’t it perfect I want one like this &I also want the guitar

Damn it I thought I finished rambling but - How could I forget???? 

The secret tattoo 

Can’t remember its background story &I’m also not sure what is the shape of it, but it’s anyway an asweome tattoo &it’s placed very well for a bass\guitar player. 

(Again - pics aren’t mine)

That;s it! &I hope that now for real! :D 

An addition from Helen which I 100% agree with: This has caused, at least for me, a tendency to not talk, not talk a lot in fear of oversharing, or feel I should feel bad for allowing something to get so close to my heart. Unhealthy, addiction, it’s bad for you, okay! Okay! WE GET IT!!!…..are just some of the things I’ve experienced. The feelings they give….is so pure, so good, nothing can really compare. I’m supposed to just…wallow in despair, separated from my light? That can’t be right. I hope this can demonstrate some of that.

A small addition from me: I find it painful how ignortant &nasty can people be. I never understood those people - seeing others talk about what’s important for them is such a great &pure thing &I love seeing how happy does the thing make them!!

 Okay.... I think I’m done rambling here. I’m sorry it took me so long to answer, I just needed it to be perfect. Every time I found another thing to add and it lasted forever and it is absolutely not a passive agressive reference to someone who was supposed to release their autobiography years ago so it lasted for hours. 

Oh my god I’m so excited this is like the best thing that happened to me at the last weeks I can’t believe how happy wiritng this post made me!!! Oh my god I can’t remember being this happy for w e e k s fuckckckckkkkkk aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Bonus: a small holler by me, thanks to @moveslikekeithrichards after this 

Should I tag other peeps?   Idk if you were tagged, @my-space-and-all-within but I honestly thought of you when I looked at the questions.  Also, I can’t remember if you were tagged @clearthroughtheclouds , but I thought of you as well :3   I saw many were tagged, forgive me if i tag someone twice. Ofc you can do it only if you want to :D &also sorry if you were tagged already I probably forgot  

(P.s: I’m so fucking proud of this post I’m in tears omg)

[mkkorantanen]

top 5 mikko rantanen pics???? 👀👀👀

!!! ok so i wanna start by saying sorry it took me a couple days to answer! i’m a really indecisive person. and then second of all sometimes read mores don’t work on mobile?? idk why. lastly, there’s 10 pictures and 5 gifs (all linked) bc i’m a loser who’s really bad at picking pictures (my friend had to help me lmao).

anyway!! if you’re ready for some Nice mikko pictures you came to the right place hopefully.

(they’re all labeleled #1 bc i can’t pick which ones i love more)

1. i love this picture with all my heart!!!! the doggo, the doggo’s smile, mikko’s smile, the dogs paw on mikko’s shoulder (super relatable pup right there), etc, etc.

1. this one is from draft day! that’s aj greer. hes playing for the san antonio rampage rn.

1. this is such a Look??? and he’s not even wearing anything dramatic or cool he just looks cute in his hat, and his lil smile and thumbs up? my favorite accessories.

1. high quality even in low quality. his jawline and his cheek bones???? they could cut me at this angle rip.

1. his smile???? is so cute???? what a soft picture??? oh my lord

1. lmao so then there’s this very Important picture. he’s the light of my life.

1. i wish he’d keep his tongue in his mouth, but!! the blues in this are so pretty!!! (especially his eyes) lay me to rest

1. !!!!! he had the C and every time i think about it i just get so happy bc im a dork. i love pretty much love all mikko content from the ‘15-16 iihf wjcs help

1. a picture i never knew i needed tbh.

1. ok listen u can’t see half his face, but that’s ok. i just love his arms?? and, like, you know, him.

oooooooooooooook at first i wasn’t gonna include gifs, but then i was like fuck it ill do it anyway so!!!!! here we go

5. this one is from the tag along video the avs made for his first game of the season!!! rachel made it :)) and you can find her post here.

4-3. these gifs were also made by rachel!! (bc she is my bff and she loves me lmao) you can find the post here. its great i love when mikko slides on the ground for others’ entertainment. this video is on the avs’ fb page.

2. this is from the habs game in the beginning of february when mikko got a hat trick :)))) i love this gif soooo muchhhhh. i love the whole gif set so much??? you can find that here. it was made by emily and i love it with all my heart.

1. this one lauren made!!!! i love this one so much??? its my favorite mikko gif of all time bc i love his smile?? you can find laurens post here. i reblog it pretty frequently; it’s my favorite post.

so yeah i definitely went overboard lmao, but at least you got some nice mikko content??

[mentalillnessmouse]

Hi (Please tag as slime) so long story short I was emotionally abused by my cousin since she could ever abuse me (so my whole life) and just as I basically am away from her, it occurred to me that my grandmother (whom I live with) is really manipulative and constantly triggers panic attacks for me due to how similar she acts to my cousin. I'm a minor and I depend on her to live and idk how i'm gonna make it till I move out, im just constantly angry and upset. Any advice on how to deal with this?

I can relate and empathize with how hard it is to be living in an environment that is often triggering and reminds you of past trauma and abuse. I am sorry you are stuck living with your grandmother for now. If there is anything you can do to find yourself another place to live, I highly recommend it, though I understand that this isn’t always an option. Keep reminding yourself that this living situation is only temporary, and that you will one day live somewhere you feel safe.

Some other things you can do, many of which I personally do now, as I am currently also living in an extremely unhealthy environment is:

Create a safe space for yourself- whether its in your room, around your bed, a spot on the floor in the corner- wherever you can- and keep some comforting items there within arms reach like a stuffed animal, a journal, a candle/incense/something that smells good, lotion, a book, nail polish etc - healthy things you can sit down and engage yourself in when you are triggered or stressed or just need to be alone for a bit. 

Make plans to be out of the house as much as possible, even if some days it means just sitting outside or going for a walk. If your grandmother will only let you out on certain occasions, even offer to run errands for her- just so that you can get away from her and out of that environment for a bit. 

Have plans to look forward to. Maybe it is a lunch date with a friend next week, or a movie coming out next month you want to see, or your payday when you can spend $5 on yourself, or the release date of a band’s new album, even if its little things like that, it can still make the days passing by feel more bearable.

Stay connected. Being in an unhealthy environment can be draining, but we still need and deserve support and to be social when possible. 

Reach out for support. Confide in a friend, family member, teacher, guidance counselor, or ideally a therapist if possible, and let them know what you are going through. We don’t have to face these things alone. 

Take care of yourself. Make sure you are eating, exercising, sleeping & hydrating, all in moderation. Get up, shower, brush your teeth on the bad days, even if you don’t want to. Everything on this bulleted list is self-care, but in particular make sure you are taking care of yourself physically, as this will help make you less vulnerable to the triggers and hopefully help you face them with more strength. it is harder to cope when we are vulnerable. 

Find a (creative) outlet. You said you are constantly feeling angry and upset. I wonder what you do with those feelings and how you express them. One healthy way to express them is through a creative outlet. Maybe thats writing, blogging, singing, painting, drawing, making art of any kind, dancing, playing an instrument etc. Or getting out that anger physically by doing karate, going for a walk/run/swim, punching a pillow, throwing ice cubes at hard surfaces (they often shatter like glass, its rather satisfying!), ripping up paper, thats all I can think of right now, but there’s tons more ideas out there. Like Here: 40 Ways to Cope with Anger

Also check out these resources on coping with emotional abuse and setting boundaries:

A master post:  For Victims of Emotional/Psychological Abuse

Coping with flashbacks

Caring for yourself

Psychological abuse

Therapy for abuse victims

Tons of abuse information and coping links

10 ways to build emotional boundaries

Creating emotional freedom

Healthy personal boundaries

Emotional boundaries

Keep these things in mind, and keep hanging in there. You will be free from that environment before you know it.Take care,

Ari

[survivortongatapu]

Episode 3 : Like He Lost Tag On The Playground | Andrew Gentile

So few subjects to choose from to entertain myself Too high to competently do this education stuff Too many grains of rice to eat I need a bagel with loxspread because I'm Jewish

The motivation to show that I'm manly, good at challenges and have lots of testosterone is not worth all this pain of clicking stupid numbers in the multiplication table. I keep telling myself I'm doing it for two charities: - The sanity of my tribe - The children

Literally 9x6=potato at this point

Lol being immune and lurking? I’m in Ecuador going to the Galapagos rn so outcast island is the best thing ever.

So I have no idea where I stand on my tribe at all! I'm initiating most of the conversations that I have which sucks! And I'm trying my best to form bonds but also not try too hard! 

 hope i can get enough to win this immunity to be honest i am glad i was not voted out 

We lost the challenge and I'm just woo! Jordan got a lucky pass and only got to submit 30 points had that been me I would have been voted out smh. Kaci got evacuated to Outcast island luckily so no drama tonight!

YES! we won rip kaci but woo us i hope we can keep winning

So IDK what the heck our vote was last round. I thought everyone was voting for Adrian but instead it was a huge mess. Basically I'm glad we won because otherwise I think we'd be in for another messy tribal council. 

his confessional will probably be a little less filled up than normal because: A. Free Rice took up all my time of socializing with people B. No tribal but on the other hand, i got the highest score in Free Rice which idk what to feel about it. It's good because I helped my tribe win, but bad because.. challenge threat label? But having a challenge threat label in Ausvivor when.. half the game is premerge won't affect me much. Only thing really going on is the Reward/Idol System... APPARENTLY Andrew found half of a Super Idol on the Purple Rock... and we need to find the Purple Rock. He said he told me, yes, ME! because he trusts me the most which is GREAT. Also though, I'm talking to Charlotte and she's done the EXACT SAME THING as Andrew on both times she's gone to the Idol System, first time, they both grabbed the torch in the cave, second time, Andrew got the Purple Rock like... 2 minutes before her which SUCKS for her. But I'm glad Charlotte is telling me about it too. I got a disadvantage for our tribe in the next challenge because I searched in the top hole of a tree, which Pocket told me to search in because he did the bottom and middle holes, but whatever! Antoine went into the bush on the clear path, and did the Yellow Rock. My goal right now is to figure out what most people on our tribe have done for the Idol System so I can have a greater knowledge of it and find out where idols are! Overgrown -> Keep Going = END Clear -> Top Hole = DISADVANTAGE Clear -> Middle Hole = END Clear -> Bottom Hole = END Clear -> Keep Walking -> Bush = END Clear -> Keep Walking -> Keep Walking -> Yellow Rock = DISADVANTAGE Clear -> Keep Walking -> Keep Walking -> Blue Rock = ? Clear -> Keep Walking -> Keep Walking -> Purple Rock = HALF SUPER IDOL Clear -> Keep Walking -> Keep Walking -> None = ? Rocky -> Cave -> Grab Torch = END Here's my list of what I know so far, so I wanna know what happens on the Overgrown and Rocky sections now. Outcast Island is also having its first Tribal, and I'm assuming Conor or Kaci will go because they're more inactive. And besides that... nada! I have WAY better strategic relationships with people now because everyone talked game last round. I feel so much more aggressive and proactive in this game! It's really nice getting what I want. Like I've never done that in games before so being able to have more control over my fate is SOOOO nice and strategy is.. kinda, sorta fun! So I'm having a great time and playing the game, and I guess I can just hope I win.

We lose. Johnny no lifing does NOT prevail RIP Kaci. She would've been a good ally, but she's a fool and didn't tell RTP that she was excusing herself for the challenges, which is kinda playing survivor 101 if you know you're not going to be here, which is fucking tragic, but it's okay. Maybe her pretty face can make her way back into the game from outcast island. WE SHALL SEE

So things are goinf well...-ish. We might have lost the challenge but we don’t have to go to tribal thanks to Kaci’s absence. Thank god. I think if we went to tribal now it would all blow up, I still want time to soldify the bonds I’ve made, so no matter what i have options when things do inevitably change.

I really hope we'll win the challenge tonight. I'm worried I might have to fight for my spot if we lose! I hope those hidden rewards are worth it cause they are hard to find.

So Tim basically has attached himself to my hip as a dynamic duo in this game. Honestly, I am perfectly okay with that. I feel like Tim will be a particularly loyal ally to my cause, and he will definitely boost my reputation on this tribe. Still working on getting in with Stephen, but I feel like I have done that successfully. Johnny is another potential ally on this tribe and lord knows I need to start earning them.

bye trip and your idol hehehe

Y'ALL I'VE FINALLY DONE IT! AFTER TOO MANY GAMES TO NAME I HAVE FINALLY FOUND AN IDOL. And it's a ruby idol, so I can't wait to fuck shit up. I'm not telling anyone about it either cause I trust no one :)

Glad we won this challenge, but I am starting to get nervous. By this point I expected strategy to come into play a bit more, with people already starting to talk about who they want gone. But thats not happening. Tribal would, at least, reveal alliances and start the game going. That being said every round we win is a round I’m 100% safe, and a round I could find an advantage in reward.

I love that we won immunity! It's such a great feeling to not have to worry about going to tribal. Also, RIP Trip. It's sad that the person who sacrificed himself for us was voted out first. Though I do doubt if there was ever any hope for him seeing as he would have had zero connections. At the very least, Kaci is surviving which is good for me since she is someone I would like to work with. If Adrian comes back, though, I could very easily use him to take out his other tribemates like Jay. Hopefully, he is bitter enough to do that.

I CANT THIS TRIBE IS.... I wish i had a gif of this but just imagine the gif of Brenda Lowe saying "I don't even have to do anything and people align with me!" LIKE!!! IVE BEEN ADDED TO 2 ALLIANCES WHILE IVE BEEN AT SCHOOL ALL DAY. AND PEOPLE SAID TO WAIT FOR MY OPINION TO DECIDE WHO TO VOTE.. I LOVE HAVING CONTROL. I have.. POWER.. love it. Also Chrissa and Pocket are fighting because Antoine is in Pocket's pocket essentially, but Antoine doesn't really talk to anyone else, so Pocket wants Charlotte out, while Chrissa wants Antoine out. IDK Also now I'm in 3 alliances!!! Alliance #1 - Good Eggs - Andrew/Carson/Chrissa/Jay/Owen/Pocket Alliance #2 - hey youtube stu here - Andrew/Bryan/Carson/Jay/Owen/Willow Alliance #3 - The Watchdog League - Andrew/Antoine/Carson/Pocket/Willow this is fucking.. insane why are these people like this i feel like the only sane one. also, jay threw Pocket under the bus in Alliance #2 Pocket threw Jay under the bus in Alliance #3 so Willow/Charlotte/Chrissa/Jay/Antoine/Pocket are the names circulating andj ust... i dont even know. this tribes a mess

These people are the most wishy-washy people ever. First nobody want to say a  name and then, when I decide to throw a name out, nobody want to really commit to it. OMG, I don't know what to do with these guys. Like i'm suppose to be in an alliance of 5, who care who is voted out outside of it! To be honest, I wouldn't be surprise if my name come up tonight or if i'm going home. It's either me or Jay to be honest or I'll be surprised.

Nothing going on

Oh boy, immunity aint that swell. reward was lame, i injured myself but didnt even die like come on ryan. anyways ya, its chill #LongLiveJordanPines

So apparently Pocket is throwing out my name. It’s too early to try to take him down but I won’t forget it.

I hope the vote goes smooth i just want us to be on the same page and so i just hope however the vote goes we still are on the same page 

Ok so. Jay made an alliance of me, him, Carson, willow, owen, Charlotte, and drew. So I’m cool with that for now. Also. I thought willow was gonna be the target before hand. But it turns out pocket was targeting Charlotte and Chrissa was targeting Antoine and they had a little kerfuffle about it. I don’t like that pocket was targeting Charlotte. So I suggest to this alliance we vote him out. But like. This vote is probably gonna be all over the place tbh. Smh. 

Im more than happy to not have tribal but my forest searches are going horribly! Ive gotten closer to Raffy and even proposed a final 2 with him. ALSO Stephen found half of the supeidol and decided to tell me about it I'm estatic! I smell a swap coming though so.... Honestly thats good for my game because that means that I won't be voted out from my original tribe who I think have an alliance already made :/ (without me in it of course). I still want to work with Johnny and Raffy and Stephen and maybe even L.A but for now jm leaving all of my options open!

So I found something in the reward, half a super idol!!!! eek. but now i have to keep looking for the other half, although chances are someones found it. But it’d be a bad idea to broadcast in the hopes that someone will come forward with the other half. I have told Tim, my ally, so that if he hears anything he will tell me. I hope that isn’t a mistake, but I trust him. Idk if I’ll tell Johnny, or Jordan, the ither two I’d consider aligning with, I don’t 100% trust them yet.

Its time to find part 2 of the SuperIdol, let the hunt begin.

Ok despite this round being twice as long, even less happened. Kaci was medevaced, which sucks because I really wanted to work with her. At least I know I'll have an ally at outcast island if i get voted out. I've got johnny on my side still, as well as jordan, rob, and probably stephen. I had a convo with tim today, and I also want to work with him. I'm just wary of how many people i give my loyalty to because I'm sure andrew is also going to have his own allies. But honestly? why am i even thinking about this game. Why do i have to constantly remind myself that I also have an opportunity to win. Anyways! I think i'm in a good spot on this tribe. I wouldnt mind a swap tho, lets shake it up!

this game makes me wanna eat my own ass bc pocket and chrissa fought and the vote switched from pocket to chrissa to charlotte to antoine back to chrissa back to antoine maybe idk I'm literally gay and i wanna die and I'm like in 18 alliance chats and I'm on call with jay carson and willow trying to figure this out someone pls fuckin help

i somehow flipped this vote to Antoine?? like i said earlier i wanted antoine out and this is somehow working... i love big movez!!!!! im shaking. this is for you pocket!! also apparently charlotte likes antoine more than chrissa.. we're working this. i really do feel like brenda lowe rn with everyone coming to me and me just telling people things! like i dont think imma get the blame for this vote from ANYONE because andrew/jay/willow were doing the heavywork while i suggested it. whew. hope antoine goes because he sorta petered out after night 1.

heres a short synopsis of the vote and what happened: 1. i got added to 3 alliances and every single one wanted different things, with pocket, jay, antoine, charlotte, and chrissa being targeted. 2. i went on call with bryan/jay and they tried getting me to vote pocket, i like pocket, so i was like EHHHH maybe iDK! i like majority :3 could we do antoine? 3. talked to andrew during that call who wanted chrissa out hard, said "CAN WE CUT ANTOINE PLEASE.." 4. went on call with andrew/jay, said we could do antoine, not too bad to flip it. they agreed, added willow, told everyone while i ate food. 5. :) woo lets see if this works

ugh its gonna be ant tonight which is kinda sad bc hes really nice f;alksdjf this is too messy honestly 

I would vote out Pocket rn because he's asking to if it weren't for the fact that we all just went to the trouble to save him, and now he's gonna be a piss baby that things aren't going his way. Sorry I don't respect that and now I don't respect him as a player so he can go back to Party City (Zwooper) where he belongs.

This round has been a massive mess. So to start, I wanted to vote out Antoine, but Chrissa and Pocket had a fight about whether it's Antoine or Charlotte. I talked to Andrew and we decided to cut ties with Chrissa and Pocket and start a new alliance with Bryan and Willow replacing them. Well what do you know! A new conflict broke out on whether to vote Chrissa or Pocket! It really looked like Chrissa was leaving until Owen messaged me saying that he's voting Pocket no matter what. So naturally I call my closest ally, Carson, and we get to talking and we decide we want Chrissa to stay. But we didn't want to alienate Andrew, so after the vote was set on Pocket, we talked to Andrew about the vote since he didn't want Pocket out. We ended up deciding on voting Antoine because if he leaves, and Pocket continues to trust Andrew, we have a solid five (Me, Andrew, Carson, Willow, and Pocket) and I trust Bryan to vote with us too. 

And as we speak, Pocket is having a meltdown and asking to leave and I'm sorry I didn't go through so much effort to get this vote the way it's supposed to be JUST TO CHANGE IT AGAIN! Sorry buddy, I need numbers, and you're one of those numbers. :)