#idk what to tag bro

[an-actual-attack-helicopter]

the primal masculine urge to buy some magical scented crazy unicorn slime for girls men 4 and up

[x-hotrose-x]

Love/like this post if you want to know a new band I'm hyperfixated in

[mannerofwhump]

A Normal(cholas) Day (part 1)

All characters belong to @spookyboywhump and are used with their permission :) This has genuinely been sitting in my drafts for AGES but I couldn’t write a way to continue it (and have yet to do so) but I really wanted to post it lol. So here it is in all it’s unfinished glory and do forgive the abrupt ending. Enjoy.

RIGHT for context, this is an au where a Normal Nicholas who does not, in fact, regularly torture people gets isekai’d into canon Nicholas’ body/universe. (Very fitting to be posted on Saint Nicholas’ day).

———

It was a regular Saturday morning, he was sure of it. He had checked. He’d woken up, brushed his teeth, styled his hair, and existed in the normal sort of way that he always had.

That is, until the truck came.

From the beginning, it had come, sinister in its approach. There were no flashing lights, no warning sounds. There was just Nicholas, the truck, and then his intimate acquaintance with the ground. And then nothing.

Blissful sleep overtook him. Thoughts still rang in the background. Was this it, then? Life, and then not. He wasn’t even allowed the courtesy of realizing he was dying, until the darkness washed utterly and devastatingly over him.

Far, far away there was a light. In the distance, it had no shape or form to it. Just a glow in the raging sea of inky black. Of course, of course, he ran—swam—floated towards it. There was no real choice when the only other option was to succumb.

He awoke with a gasp.

The chair underneath him was solid. He gripped the armrests, knuckles going white. He touched his head, his body, felt at the utter lack of blood. Still, he was alive. God, it didn’t even hurt. He felt completely fine, as if nothing at all had happened.

Wait. Why was he on a sofa? Where was the beeping? The bed? The hospital gown? Maybe even the IV drip in his hand?

He stared at his hand, gaze intent. He turned them over, both of them, staring wildly at the evidence of completely unmarred skin. Unless he had dreamt up the whole thing, all of this made absolutely no sense.

Wait. His brain caught up to his surroundings. Right. Obviously he had dreamt up the whole thing. That made sense. Especially now that he was looking around and realizing this was his own house—

“HOLY SHIT,” Nicholas said calmly.

Ok. That part wasn’t right. Definitely not right. The black-haired man kneeling on the floor next to him was not a regular fixture in his choice of home decor. He was pretty confident about this one. Ok. Maybe he was staring. Maybe he was looking at the man with eyes that practically screamed what the fuck? But that wasn’t his fault.

Because there was one thing ringing in his mind right now, and it was not the ringing that came with vehicle-pedestrian collisions. Instead, it was the incessant echoes of what the absolute fuck in the now-empty cave that was his mind.

He smiled sheepishly, stretching his lips in a way that felt anything but natural. “Would you excuse me for a second?” he said, politely. Higher than his usual level of politeness, but he felt that the poor man fettered in his home who he didn’t even know deserved that much at least. He could do that much.

With that, he darted for the bathroom.

Nicholas splashed his face with cold water, trying to sober himself up. Dispel the nightmare. How drunk did he have to be to imagine a whole live man in his living room? A man who looked like he’d been beaten up upwards of 6472 times and counting? Not that he’d remembered drinking, but hey, maybe he’d forgotten that too.

He splashed his face again for good measure and rubbed at his eyes. Hard. Hallucinations begone! The bathroom door was left ajar as he peeked outside again, hoping for the illusion to dispel itself. No such luck. The illusion in question was watching him with a raised eyebrow instead.

“What the hell is going on with you, sir.”The last word was said with a hint of derision. Like it was an insult. It probably was. But he also said it with a hint of familiarity, as if it had been uttered enough times for the word to not really mean anything any more.

Bad sign. Bad fucking sign.

“Um,” he started, the very picture of coherence, “who are you? What are you doing in my house? What the fuck?” He didn’t mean to say that last one out loud, but it had slipped, just like his sanity.

“Haha, very funny, sir.”

“No, tell me. Please? Please.”

The other man looked thrown off by his words. Confused. His words came out slowly, as if he believed Nicholas was playing a trick on him. God, he wished this was all a trick. “Zander. I’m here because you’re fucking sick and get off on kidnapping people and torturing them and making them fight other kidnapped tortured people. And yeah, what the fuck. A lot of all around fuckery going on on your end, sir.”

This, admittedly, made Nicholas feel worse.

———

ask to be added to the taglist!!

@kira-the-whump-enthusiast

@spookyboywhump

[kiraijinn]

Made myself a cutie little box cutter <3

Lil pretti magical girl core I love it so much hehe

[cyanidecyanidecyanidecyanide]

saw this on tiktok and had to show yall🙏

[yikes-ajax]

These little guys are sprouting right in the middle of fall! I didn't even plant them! Who are you and where did you come from?!

[clownkure]

I'm sure Luigi will come around later.

[ahllohehn]

i do art to do bullshit like this: hephaestus kid mumbo jumbo

about au au tag discord

[swankshrimp]

This came to me in a dream

[madscientistreaction]

cool guy with a sword

[random-twst-things]

*Meeting Rollo for the first time*

Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Bro...

Idia: Hm?

Mc/Y/N/Yuu, pointing at Rollo: Do you see that damn haircut he got on?

Idia, turning his head: ...

Mc/Y/N/Yuu: ...

Idia: There is no way...

Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Well, apparently there is a way...

Idia: His parents totally didn't care about him

Mc/Y/N/Yuu: Damn right they didn't, no caring adult would let their child run free in THAT bob without looking good

Idia: L.O.L for real

Malleus, out of nowhere: indeed, child of man, no kind, caring adult would let their child run free in such hair.

Idia, Mc/Y/N/Yuu: AAA?!

Malleus: But what if, perhaps, his parents do wear the same "bob" hair cut? A family tradition of sorts?

Idia, Mc/Y/N/Yuu: ...

Mc/Y/N/Yuu: now I'm imagining a family portrait with all of them wearing bobs

Idia: HEH HEH HEH L.M.A.O I'm imagining that too now

(IDIA IS DOING HIS "Hehehe 👹" LAUGH I SWEAR, NOT THE "hehehe 😝🤭" LAUGH PLZ)

Dividers by/from @/cafekitsune

[mickedy]

A couple extra thoughts..

[theygotlost]

G-A-R-Y! YOU AINT GOT NO ALIBI! YOURE GARY! WHAT! WHAT! YOURE GARY!

[peachducy]

professor layton spoilers

thinking about hershel and theodore both get adopted au

[xy-is-i]

Just thinking about Dick freaking out over losing his title of best uncle to Jason.

Dick showing up to take Lian out and give Roy a break only to hear she's having a fun day with Jason

Dick walking into the room with the toy he knows Lian really wanted, only to find out Jason got it for her first.

Dick showing up to game night at Roy's only to find Jason already there.

Just Dick getting increasingly frustrated and his rival Jason having no clue well the the rest watch on in humor and exasperation. Roy finds the who thing hilarious.

Picturing it all coming to a head when Dick is babysitting Lian and she shows him a new photo they put up. Dick all dejectivly being like, "look, it's you and your favorite uncle."

The pure shock and joy he feels when Lian tells him he wrong and her favorite uncle is "you uncle Dickie, duh!"

The door opening and Lian shouting "Papa!" As dick turns to excitedly tell Roy what Lian said only to see it's Jason who's holding Lian.

Dick just bluescreening.

[rocketbaby]

Y'all will never believe what scenario I thought of

Izuku x Katsuki x (fem)reader

Tw: nsfw

Imagine being in a relationship with both izuku and katsuki.

They absolutely adore fucking you(and/or making out)at the same time,y'all always do it when you're all together.

Katsuki was down on his knees after he stripped you naked. Your panties were thrown away somewhere in the room. He got his face closer to your core and he could feel your scent from away. This man was hungry for pussy. He started eating you out like he was starving.

He was always a bit more on the aggressive side even when it comes to sex or making out.He doesn't take his time to just feel,he gets right to action. He eats you out hungrily,not giving you time to think about anything

While on the other, Izuku takes his time with you. While katsuki was eating you out like a mad man,he was right behind you. Your back was leaning against his chest. His mouth found it's way to the back of your neck, kissing and nipping at your skin softly.

He always needs to praise you in some way and today wasn't any different.

"mhm you're doing so good,my love, taking Kacchan so well..you just love when he's so desperate for you,don't you, sweetheart?"

His mouth never leaves your skin,he gently grabs your chin and turns your head back so he can kiss you.

"..you're so pretty,baby..so beautiful"

He takes his time to feel you,to assure you're feeling good.

While izuku was kissing you, Katsuki was still eating you out, planning to make you finish before he could move further.

He was moving fast,his tongue sucking and licking wherever it could reach. And in the end he did make you cum,of course. There's honestly never been a time where he DIDN'T make you cum from this.

He absolutely loves giving pleasure even though you may not be able to tell. He loves seeing you feel good from something he had done.

Katsuki is honestly a bit jealous of izuku because he can never praise you or talk to you as sweetly as izuku can

Izuku places a warm soft kiss to the back of your neck. "You did so well baby,you came from just Kacchans mouth.. what a sweet girl you are"

He rubs your hips with care

"mmh..want you to cum f'me also.. please lemme make you feel good..wanna feel you baby"

His hand gently makes its way to your needy cunt. He slides in two fingers right off the bat. You were already wet from cumming before so he didn't need any lubrifiant.

Katsuki loved watching just the both of us having fun,he absolutely adored being included but he couldn't deny that he was getting off from just watching

"God you both are so fuckin hot like this,I have the best partners ever. Looking so fine and fuckable"

Izuku chuckles at his comment,he was always getting a little flustered whenever he'd say stuff like this. Izukus fingers move slowly and gently inside of you, taking his time to find what spot was feeling the best for you and he didn't need you to confirm that he found it. Your voice already gave it away. His fingers made their was so deep into your sweet spot and you let out the prettiest whimper they've heard.

"Fuck she's so fuckin beautiful.. whining and moaning and we didn't even stuffed her with cock yet"

Izuku chuckles again. He didn't want to let his comment get away

"oh shush,don't make me remind you of the time when you came from just me stroking you, like what? Twice?"