#idk what to read next ive started like 5 different books but nothing is really catching my eye lol | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

eir-trixa · 4 months ago

Text

Okay Ive slept it off and I just woke up. Now Im choosing violence.

WOTTG Spoilers after the cut

Two points I wanna discuss a little further- 1) Addressing Percy’s trauma and 2) His self perception of being dumb

1. This is the part I’m gonna accept that no one’s going to look at him and extend the same empathy to his suffering like he does others. The closest to read him well is probably going to be Sally, which is fine to me. He talked of his experiences and used it to help others. Is this satisfying? No but honestly Im just gonna accept that this is the closest were gonna get to him getting therapy and talking about his feelings in a D*sney book. There’s always ao3

2. People in the comments pointed out that this is a fairly new development and Percy from the first 5 books looked to Annabeth for information, insights, not for direct solutions and I agree. Its something thats been bugging me from last night I just couldnt put my finger enough on the issue to call it ooc to its face. Tbf 12-15 year old Percy had other problems like living past his 16th birthday. 17 year old Percy has lesser survival problems, more unaddressed trauma and 60% of his thoughts are consumed by his girlfriend, the other 40% by college.

This will probably a bit controversial but Rick does have a habit of nerfing Percy’s skill and accomplishments. He did it, a bit on a small(?) scale, during Son of Neptune when the Achilles Curse got washed off by some river. Then he makes him OP again after dragging him through Tartarus. Then nerfed again because we never talked about that power again. Or how Percy felt like he deserved to die because of what he did in the middle of trying to survive tartarus. That power just idk took a backseat along with the trauma? Then in the recent instalments Percy’s own self esteem, Percy’s trust in his own capability to plan things gets nerfed. He jokes about it, but it just seemed off to me. This dude has his own series of accomplishments that are different from his girlfriend’s and this is fine. This is okay. Whats not okay is how he sees himself as the lesser in the relationship because of how much he boosts his girlfriend’s accomplishments to high heavens and forgets his own.

Okay look, theres nothing wrong with worshiping the ground your SO walks on. There’s nothing wrong with thinking they’re the coolest. There’s nothing wrong with asking for help especially if said SO is a genius. I think what grated on me was the fact that he kept looking at Annabeth for answers probably because subconsciously he believes himself not smart enough to do it himself. Thats the vibe Im getting from the narration. He puts himself down, he thinks people - Annabeth’s friends - see him as dumb, he thinks Annabeth thinks he’s too dumb, even Grover took quips at his gpa, and maybe as a result of that he keeps looking at Annabeth for solutions. And this wasnt addressed significantly enough.

Look I get Percabeth is THE ship. But we can have Percabeth with Percy and Annabeth standing as two different people. Percy does not have to degrade himself to make us know he thinks the world of Annabeth. We already know from the stunts he pulled all the way back from freaking Sea of Monsters. We already know he’s down bad. Its why Hana and Dave grated on me because they dont really get to judge Percy without knowing what he’s done for Annabeth. But it would be nice if he gets a win, you know? Annabeth telling him he’s smart is a good start. I hope it continues in the next book because it looks like Percy needs a boost to start, idk, functioning again? This is why people criticise them for being co dependent smh

I can see what Rick wants us to think, ig. Annabeth is the planner, the Architect as was mentioned, and Percy is the one who’s more of the Heart. Not the sword, the heart. Even Annabeth admits that Percy sees into people more. This book has been filled with Percy looking at Annabeth for a plan, Annabeth coming up with plans, plans work for a while then gets nerfed because of shenanigans, then Percy eventually finding resolution by exercising empathy and just being his usual perceptive self which is whY I dont really get why even his closest friends and girlfriend tease him or joke about him being dumb or having a low gpa, like thIS DOES NOT caLCuLAtE-

I can see the vision, I can see where Rick’s getting at. Its just I think he’s putting Percy down a little too much. Annabeth is smart AND strong. This is good, this is amazing. But Percy can also be empathic AND smart. Or empathic and strong. We shouldnt have to box them into categories so they can fit one unit. Their characteristics can overlap since they are two different people, being soulmates or whatever nonwithstanding.

Anyway, feel free to reply or reblog with your own takes, I appreciate discourse cause it helps me organise my own thoughts lmao. Have fun

WOTTG SPOILERS AFTER THE CUT

Can you believe Rick is validating me in my Percy-is-the-most-empathic-character take? I have legal basis but boi does it feel nice to have canon confirmation.

Second that book was short af I got the gist of it all while reading for like an hour.

Third, we addressed everyone else’s trauma. Percy’s still the group therapist LMAO 😭😭😭

Fourth, my son is such a good kid yall, this is why I lose five years of my life when someone insults or when he insults himself jfc my child.

Im honestly still processing and I have to reread the ending. Did it address Percy’s issues? Im going to go with “a bit” and call it a night. I mean, I guess it did? Percy got to unload and help Gale and Hecuba. We got an insight to how he’s managing to stay up and fighting and good despite all the shit he’s put into. Honestly the fact that he saw the humanity in Gale and Hecuba, that he saw their pain and grief and thats what made them trust him, that is so good. And the way he related to them. Goodness. And it highlights again how good a person he is, how much he feels and cares. I mean, he cried cause he had to send Mrs O Leary away, I cant with this kid-

I supposed what Im left unsatisfied with is how he still perceives himself as dumb? Baby, you survived San Fran for two months as a homeless kid without memories and pursued by different monsters who cant die. Youre the furthest thing from dumb.

He cant see this of course and while it was slightly addressed(?) by Annabeth telling him to his face that she doesnt give him enough credit, that he’s pretty smart, I dont think thats enough for addressing this particular issue. There was a time in the middle that he almost snapped because he thought Annabeth probably thinks him too dumb to know what to do next. Which I understand is frustrating to him. But to be fair this book made him look at Annabeth for a solution a lot. Theres also little comments about how when he cant think of anything - which is every 60 seconds apparently according to him- he looks at Annabeth. This doesnt help the co dependent allegations LMAO. Idk, I will die on the Hill that Percy is one of the smartest people in the series, not just emotionally but also in strategy. And theres, of course, nothing wrong with looking at the genius strategist for answers. Ive mixed feelings because definitely this is more of a Percy-insecurity issue than an Annabeth-being-bossy issue. But okay. One more book, heres to hoping we get more heart to heart on that front because Im 999998% sure she doesnt mean to make him feel stupid, Percy’s just got a lot of demons to fight but this in particular they need to figure out together. Still, its obvious how much they care for each other still. If only Dave and Hana did not piss me off at the start Id probably be a little more lenient about this.

Annabeth’s fatal flaw also makes a comeback, we love to see it.

And Sally Estelle Jackson. Now we have to find out wth is Percy’s middle name cause if Sally has one odds are she gave her son too. Trust me. Im Filipino. Iykyk.

Lastly, while I will forever and ever and ever support the trio from pjotv (theyre perfect and have done nothing wrong ever) I can see Rick’s injecting their personalities into the books. Im not sure if he does this on purpose or just subconsciously LMAO. Some of Grover’s dialogue is definitely inspired by Aryan. Percy being Lanky? Walker through and through, especially with his growth spurt lmao, and Annabeth’s confidence? All Leah. I can see what Rick’s trying to do. Ive no opinion on this, just pointing it out. I do love love love the live action. Just. I can see you Rick. You aint slick.

So there. I probably would need to reread the book properly at some point.

#pjo #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percabeth #wrath of the triple goddess #spoilers #discourse #i literally just woke up saw the comments and said ‘aight that tracks #sometimes violence is the answer #wottg #percy jackon and the olympians #percy/annabeth #should I tag this as percabeth critical?#probably should #anyway #percabeth critical

123 notes · View notes

vergilboyfriend · 4 years ago

Note

You should do all of them questions and 90 is true

I love you!!!!

1. Favorite instrument?

I work at a music store u can’t just ask me this. When my coworkers play it’s the saxophone or the flute, when the boys in the repair shop are testing repairs and they harmonize with each other or try to outplay one another it’s the bassoon or the trombone or whatever they’re fixing at the moment. When I hear 🎺 give his lesson on Wednesday afternoons it’s the trumpet, and when I think about middle school it’s the clarinet, the flute, the French horn. When I hear the nutcracker pas des deux is the oboe and when I hear edith piaf l’accordeoniste it’s the remarkable human voice. Really my favorite instrument is all of them, it just depends.

2. Favorite fic trope? Mutual pining 🥺

3. Sport you played for the longest amount of time? LMAO I wasn’t a sporty kid but I did ballet

4. Shoe size? 10-11

5. Most recent (good) dream? Uhh I had a dream last night about my coworker 🎹 it wasn’t bad though I can’t really remember what it was about

6. Last person in your DMs? smugg

7. Can you do a handstand? Nooo nooo lmaoo nooooo

8. Unpopular food opinion I don’t like oranges or red meat

9. Conspiracy you believe in? There’s some kind of weird weather dome in my hometown around the military base that makes most storms pass around us

10. Is your hair its natural color/style? Most of it is I dyed the bottom layer of my hair tho so it’s blonde rn

11. state a useless fact all that’s coming to mind is outright lies rn hold on. The inventor of pringles is buried in a pringles can that’s so fucking nasty omg

12. most interesting gossip you’ve heard? Idk I don’t really care for gossip uhhhh have u heard tho rin dippindogs is a huge gay hah she uhh she like men AND women lmao gaaay gaaaay

13. Middle name? Carolyn

14. Sexuality? Bisexual

15. Amount of sleep you got last night? Idk actually I think like 9-10 hrs tho I slept in until 11

16. Opinion on ice cream cake? Tasty!!!

17. Opinion on (cup)cake frosting? It’s depends buttercream is usually too sweet for me in large amounts so I prefer whipped cream frosting

18. Last board game you played? Idk??? We played hunt a killer tho last Thursday me n my family I guess that counts kinda

19. Project you want to start? I need ideas first baby

20. Project you’re working on right now? HAHAHAHAHAHA

21. TV show you’re watching? nothing rn I just rewatch bojack a lot if I watch anything

22. Last movie you watched? Lego batman I think

23. Ever left anon hate? Not legit hate

24. Ever left anon love? Yes all the time. Sometimes to strangers it’s my favorite thing to do

25. Best Disney movie? The princess and the frog

26. Best Pixar movie? Soul or Up I can’t decide

27. Best Star Wars? Um. Empire strikes back

28. Last thing you consumed? Fuit gumy

29. NoTP? Idk I don’t really hate ships unless they’re gross like pedophilic gross

30. story behind your (nick)name? When I was a fetus my great grandfather had a dream that my name should be Carolyn Marie but my parents were huge dweebs so they named me Marina after the actress of Deanna Troi in Star Trek. Idk about my nickname ive just always been Rina/Rin as long as I can remember

31. ice cream order? Lately it’s lemon sorbetto I know it’s SO high in sugar but I love it

32. describe your blog in <5 words I love you

33. how many blogs do you follow? 436

34. Describe your voice it depends usually I sound like a sick child but my customer service voice is really pleasant

35. Describe your smile it’s cute :)

36. What is the place you live known for? LMAOOO LMAO we have a military base nearby and like. I could go on abt that one but also like. There’s a lot of gang violence and a lot of the other consequences of poverty. People from the cities around us see us as “””ghetto””” or violent but it’s just. It’s more than that it’s always more than that. And idk what else there’s nothing really particularly special about this town except that we’re all here and not anywhere else

37. What is the place you’re originally from known for? (if they’re different)

38. pronouns? she/any idc

39. Languages you speak? English

40. first friend you made through tumblr? Idk. I probably don’t talk to them anymore :(

41. Person on tumblr you know in real life? my brother

42. First dog breed you think of shih tzu I have 2 next to me rn

43. room wall color? Purble!!!! The paint color is called grape juice that’s why I picked it!!!

44. Song that’s stuck in your head right now? It’s tricky to rock a rhyme to rock a rhyme that’s right on time it’s trickyyyyy

45. Favorite number? 5, 34

46. Color you associate with your name? Red

47. Favorite jolly rancher flavor?watermelon

48. Pets? 2 dogs rocket and groot and 4 cats loki danni who r from the same litter and we raised from kittens, miss kitty who we adopted from a shelter after my boy blue moon passed away and ben (his real name is Kylo Ren thanks to my mom but I refuse to call him that) he is my little baby and he has 7 toes on his front paws

49. Collections? Hot wheels

50. Character outside of your fandom you’d marry? Girl what lmaooo idk

51. Character outside of your fandom you’d kill? That’s mean :(

52. Have you met any celebrities? NO thank god id have to kill on sight

53. Favorite time period in history? Itslian Renaissance & Romantic Era

54. What time is it right now? 2:35 am oops

55. History or future? Future but like . A good one. Or prehistory

56. Space or ocean? Space

57. Fears? Abandonment

58. Command + v and post. It’s this list of questions u don’t want that

59. Favorite season? Spring

60. Describe your aesthetic. Messy just a mess, neon and old buildings and things, antiques, countryside if there weren’t so many trump pence flags still lmaoo give uppp give up, nature just al of nature and space and places humans can’t touch and places they used to touch but can’t anymore

61. MBTI? Infp but I haven’t taken it in a few years

62. What’s your relationship with your family like? Normal.

63. “Biggest fan” in your tumblr activity? I’m in mobile hold on acc to tumblr it’s akky

64. Favorite musical? Sweeney todd

65. Comfort book? Idk how to read 💔💔💔 wuthering heights tho

66. Comfort movie? Whisper of the heart

67. OTP? Girl idk

68. BroTP? Joey and Tristan yugioh

69. AUs or canon compliant? Canon ig idk

70. Opinion on the person who’s sending the ask? It’s an anon!! But I love them

71. FMK + 3 characters anon didnt leave any characters and I was going to say something very bad but I won’t

72. Dream date? I’ve wanted to do this for a while but ideally it would be after we’d been together a while maybe even engaged or whatever, I wanna go to like a Home Depot or a furniture store and pretend to be married and looking for house paints and furniture and plan what our home is going to look like I wanna do that so bad. But idk for a first/early relationship date i really want to go to the zilker botanical garden it’s one of my favorite places, we could also go to the natural gardener which is a plant nursery in Austin I really love it there too and it’s not that far from zilker.

73. Relationship status? Single

74. Ever dyed your hair? Do you plan to? Yes and perhaps. Maybe

75. Dream job/career? Idk anymore I used to have big girl goals and I haven’t had any in a while. But when I was younger I wanted to be a game warden

76. Favorite band/singer? Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky

77. Something that makes you soft/that you find adorable? My cats

78. The first thing you would do if you won the lottery? Buy a house

79. Are you superstitious? Yes

80. Character you project onto? Shizuku tsukishima

81. Fictional character you’ve had a crush on? Vergil devil may cry. Forever husband

82. Celebrity crush? LMAO

83. Person on here you’d date? my mutuals

84. Person on here you’d marry? 🥺 my mutuals

85. Person on here you’d throw into the void? Smugg

86. Other social media you have? I’ve got a photography insta that I barely use and a Twitter that’s just nintendo switch screenies that’s it

87. Finish the sentence: Due to personal reasons, ___________i will be passing away

88. Bad habit? I find it rlly hard to say no or like to say when and why I’m upset I don’t feel like for the latter I don’t feel like I should bring something that’s upsetting me up because I know I’ll get over it on my own and I don’t really trust myself to be upset about rational things. Idk I’m working on it

89. Three things you like about yourself? I’m hot, I’m kind, I’m resilient

90. Ily and you deserve the world I love you!!!!! YOU deserve it too!!!

#askies #anonymous #long post /#thank u!!

2 notes · View notes

ssweeneys · 5 years ago

Text

i’m having a REALLY bad day

or really past couple of weeks where work is concerned and i just wanna vent bc you know sometimes people out there in the working world understand ya know???

its long, beware. idek if i’ll keep this up its more so for me to just let it out.

so like i’m an office admin for a company (we’ll leave it nameless for protection purposes) and like i supervise receptionists for my office so i’m kinda an office manager but not technically? if that makes sense.

anyway. people these days just don’t want to fucking work like EVER and like to start jobs and then up and vanish to collect that unemployment which to me is really just dumb since there are rules to it in every state and nine times out of ten you’re making like 60% of what your normal paycheck would be and thats surely not enough to live on, so like ??? i don’t get it.

there’s been a constant rotation of receptionists come and go over the last couple of months and two girls who work for me have stepped in on numerous occasions. one lady is in her 60s and doesn’t know anything about computers and is kind of dense?? to say the least. nothing against old ladies. i actually find a majority of them cute or hilarious bc they say what they think and dont give a f*ck who it offends and sometimes that blunt honesty is refreshing and you just need it in a world where people bullshit you 24/7 to further themselves for selfish gain and yaddy yada

anyways.. over recent weeks she’s become more and more intolerable to deal with. i ask her to do things and she gives me attitude and its like the simplest of things.. like email this person, make sure you let this person know they got a package, etc, etc. she can’t do even the most basic of tasks without screwing up. her attitude is just atrocious.

and due to people coming and going i’ve had to alter our schedule a lot. recently, one girl requested off so i adjusted the older lady’s hours (lets call her--carla) mind you carla only works 1 day a week and i’ve been super generous in giving her the entire week of christmas off so -- yeah.

anyways the girl who requested off (we’ll call her nicole) told me she didnt need those days off anymore and so i fixed the schedule one more time to her original days/hours.

now, i print off the schedule every time a change is made and whoever is at the reception desk i tell them to let the other girls know and post it right by the computer they sit at every day so theres no excuse for anyone to say i didnt make them aware. well carla is not the brightest bulb as we already established and she doesnt pay attention so we pretty much have to coddle her apparently and make sure she understands (although its pointless bc she doesnt no matter how hard you try to explain something to her) ANYWAYS she comes in on nicoles day when she wasnt supposed to anymore bc the schedule was fixed, posted, etc. and she gets mad when i ask her why shes there. and yes, i understand that the rotation has fucked us all over and up in so many ways. she is not the only victim here. this has been stressing me out left and right and to no end for MONTHSSSSS. so like i get it? i’m sympathetic to that. i understand the confusion and frustration, i’m right there with them.

HOWEVER, because she’s annoyed/mad/whatever she gives me attitude all day yesterday and is flagrantly disrespectful. i’m her supervisor, regardless is someone upsets you, act professional.

but she doesn’t. we know that. or at least I DO. anyhow.. she’s mad. she’s pissed off right? she’s got an attitude. she sees the new schedule, she brings it to me in my office and asks if its the correct one for tomorrow WHICH SHE IS ON!!! let me make that clear. she was on. she asks if its correct, i’m in the middle of composing an email so i take a moment to respond ‘yes’ she huffs, storms off and goes “you know what? nevermind” i’m like.... okay?? i brush it off. i’ve been brushing off her poor attitude all damn day and i dont say A THING. BC I GET IT. I UNDERSTAND. IM SYMPATHETIC TO THAT. we all have bad days. we all get a little frustrated sometimes. we’re human, yeah?

yeah. right. ok.

so then like... carla is working the morning shift for nicole. both carla and nicole showed up. carla pitched a fit bc she came in and was already there and didnt want to go home so nicole was so sweet about it and said thats okay, she can work i understand. bc even though nicole is like half her age, she’s MATURE.

at this point i dont even understand why carla is so upset? she got to stay. she got the hours. she’ll be making the money. all is good right? WRONG.

when the next girl comes in for the afternoon shift, i over hear carla telling her about the mishap that happened that morning (yesterday) and my office is literally maybe 6-7 feet from the front desk so i can hear EVERYTHING that goes on. i mean this is my job. i’m pretty much in charge of making sure the office is running, our employees are happy, etc.

so yeah i over hear carla telling this girl that and i quote “yeah nicole came in this morning and the schedule was switched around and i stayed because i was already here. (then something unintelligible I cant make out bc her voice lowers) you know, it really pisses me off that this keeps happening.”

SHE SAID THIS. TO A NEW GIRL. MAKING ME, NICOLE, EVERYONE LOOK BAD EVEN THOUGH SHE GOT WHAT SHE WANTED, NICOLE APOLOGIZED, I APOLOGIZED FOR THE MISHAP, IVE DONE EVERYTHING FOR THIS LADY TO PACIFY HER OR WORK WITH HER OR COMPENSATE HER.

so its so infuriating, disrespectful and really downright disgusting for her to trash me, my name, etc to someone. but you know what? I DONT SAY ANYTHING. I dont cause a scene. I go about my business and let it roll off my shoulders bc at this point I know if I say anything its just going to turn ugly and I’m in a professional setting. Sometimes its better to bite your tongue, hold your head up high and move the fuck on about your business.

NOW... oh now, we’re on today. carla is scheduled to work. she came into my office, confirmed it, she was FULLY AWARE OF THIS.

so nicole calls her 5 mins before shes scheduled to clock in and is politely like hey you on your way? and carla is like oh no i don’t work today.

BITCH! THE FUcK YOU MEAN????? WE CONFIRMED THIS LITERALLY!!!!!!!!

omg i cannot at this point i really cannot

but lets proceed... so carla. she’s like yeah i dont come in, tells nicole to check with me. nicole comes to me, i smh and just sigh and am like ok i’m sorry can you please call her back and tell her shes supposed to be here and if theres any issues, transfer the call to me. so nicole calls her, they’re talking, carla is being a cunt (sorry at this point you are) and so i talk to her and shes like you know, this is so frustrating i came in there i asked you if i was supposed to work and you said no (the other girl she trash talked to idk who to name her) and IM LIKE SITTING THERE GOING ????? WHEN????? TO MYSELF BC WE JUST HAD THIS CONVERSATION

MY PATIENCE IS SO THIN, ITS NON EXISTENT AT THIS POINT IM OVER IT

IM TIRED

IM SO FUCKING TIRED AND SICK OF HAVING TO PICK UP THE SLACK AND DO EVERYTHING MY FUCKING SELF BC NO ONE CAN COME TO WORK, DO THEIR JOB AND GO HOME.

can i just make a point too that we make $12 an hour here. sometimes we are LITERALLY SO BORED we have nothing to do. we can read books or watch netflix if no one is around or i even have time to rp at times. so like THIS IS THE EASIEST JOB IN THE WORLD A FUCKING MONKEY could do it.

all you do is answer phones and transfer calls or send an email

its LITERALLY. THAT. FUCKING. SIMPLE????

so like i just dont get it

but back to the point... carla is arguing with me, basically saying my communication sucks, i’m unprofessional (which is laughable but ok) etc...

and i just cant hold it in anymore?? and i’m like well carla, i’m sorry you feel that way and i understand where you’re coming from but i don’t appreciate that you were disrespectful yesterday, you told (new girl) that you were pissed off about what happened and proceeded to talk about me in a really unsatisfactory way.

and she WANTED TO TRY AND SAY THAT THIS WAS A DEFAMATION TO HER CHARACTER. WHEN SHE FUCKING SAID IT!!!!!!!!!!! i mean you can’t but if you were to ask anyone i know i have freakishly good hearing and it gets on my family’s nerves all the time bc i need quiet when writing and i have to beg them to turn their tvs down low just so i can concentrate.

I FUcKIng HEARD THESE EXACT WORDS COME OUT OF HER MOUTH!!!! and she wants to sit here and say that i’m defaming her character.

NO BITCH. Im repeating what I fucking heard you say!!!

why would i make that up? why??? how does that benefit me in any way??? what does that do for me???? NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING!!! i’m not benefitting from anything here.

in addition when talking to her on the phone i bring up the fact that she brought the schedule to me (the correct one which SHE IS ON) and asked me to verify if it was correct. but then proceeds to say in the same breath (contradicting herself) that she’s going off the old one????? like okay????? but you’re wrong?? SHE EVEN SAYS ITS AN OVERSIGHT ON HER CHARACTER, SHE ALREADY MADE PLANS YADDY YADA, SHE CANT COME IN TODAY

moral of the story is... she’s dumb. she’s a fucking cunt. and i hate people who try to spin things and victim blame and tell you you’re defaming their character when you call them out on something real they actually said because they’re scared little pussies and can’t just admit its what they fucking said.

yo i’d have a lot more respect for you if you just admit it. i’m not even mad??? i dont give a fuck what you think or feel about me. when i leave here every day i dont come home and cry about work or how people feel about me there.

work me is different from real me. I. DO. NOT. FUCKING. CARE. work people do not know me on a real level only a professional one. i am here to do a job, to make money, to pay bills, to LIVE. i am not here to fret over the opinions of people who do not follow me home, who do not know the real me. WHO. DO. NOT. FUCKING. MATTER.

POINT FUCKING BLANK.

THANK YOU AND GOODBYE

like seriously?? GOD FUCK! i’m so angry.

if you read all of this, like thanks for letting me vent to a total stranger lmao you’re a real one, may you be blessed today and always.

onto that note... i gotta get back to work. (lmfao fucking irony at its finest)

#im not even gonna read over this #its raw #its real #what the fuck ever

4 notes · View notes

cockbiteproductions · 5 years ago

Note

primed to scream PRIMES! PRIMES! PRIMES!!

f i just typed the answer to most of these questions and chrome crashed so christ i have to fucking retype all these but much condensed because i am lazy.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate bars. but only milk. my mom buys exclusively Very Dark Chocolate though so i usually just stare at those and Wish.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

well bubblegum or cotton candy flavored stuff neither they both taste nauseating. if we’re talking about the actual stuff then bubblegum because i can pop it. this actually reminded me i have gum in the pantry from the beginning of the semester i havent even opened yet so now my roommates have you to thank for popping noises the next hr or so

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

soda bottles because i dont like to drink soda quickly and so i want to close it and not let the carbon dioxide escape. soda cans a close second because it’s satisfying to open the tab.

7. earbuds or headphones?

wired earbuds because headphones are too big and clunky and you cant easily lay on your side with headphones on. but if my next pair of earbuds break within a month i might consider Switching because ive had 3 break on me in the past month and half and im at my wits end with earbuds.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

i dont eat much for breakfast cause i want to sleep in until the last possible moment and i get stomachaches when i eat a lot in the morning but ill eat a piece of bread and yogurt maybe.

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring but that’s just because i havent used a lanyard before. i think i would like a lanyard. im constantly looking for my keys in bags.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

this pair of black sandals that i have tan lines on my feet from how much ive worn them

19. sleeping position?

ill sleep however... i like sleeping on my left side. on my stomach with my head to the right. on my back with my arms crossover my chest to keep warm. at the end of the bed with my head where my feet should be. i dont move at all when i sleep so freshman year when i had a lofted bed i think my roommate was a bit concerned in the beginning when i refused a bedrail because she thought i might fall. i never fell which was nice.

23. strange habits?

oh man idk i probably have a lot of those but nothing i can think about right now when im being put on the spot.

in elementary school i used to refuse to step on the yellow tiles at school.

29. best way to bond with you?

talk to me about the stuff i love!!!! and watch the stuff i love with me!!!! i am always down to [whatever the rabb.it replacement is these days] stuff with people and just generally both yell at each other and be passionate about stuff. currently what im passionate about is the stuff im screaming over at @winstonbillions so talk to me about that stuff!! please. i am always 3 seconds from screaming about ANY of that stuff.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

idk about outfits to kick ass and take names but i have outfits where i get my ass kicked and name taken aka what i wear to exams. which is my tower of pimps shirt which ive deemed lucky. is it lucky in any way? no, but i’m hoping if i wear it enough to exams it might.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel bag. suitcases are so large and unwieldily. that reminds me i have a suitcase of winter clothes in my trunk i need to take out.

41. last person you texted?

as in actual texts on my phone? that would be my dad. asking him if i should drop my class im failing.

as for the last person i instant messaged, that would be one of my mutuals through my musical theater sideblog im currently yelling at about [musical theater related interest]. im not kidding guys talk to me about the stuff i post about on @winstonbillions PLEASE

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

2 months ago i would have said hoodie but im kinda becoming a cardigan kind of person now. theyre just Soft and and Long and Casual and i love them. hoodies are too hard to take off.

47. favorite type of cheese?

mild cheddar, american, and mozzarella. i actually only Recently started cataloging cheeses in my brain to their actual names so for my entire life i was like i just like cheese even though there are certain ones i hate like swiss and blue cheese.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

a bit cold and a bit tired from typing all the answers to all these asks tbh. but other than that good. i just cut my nails because they were atrociously long.

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“worm” or “fuck” or “no!” according to my roommate

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

oh my ogdokh oym ogdos sd fdospohm to mo edf ucmign fugod mfyo uacant just ask me this im going to absolutely die

in absolutely no order, all from completely from memory, and favorite for a variety of different reasons

“fuck you, math man. if you’re such a genius why can’t you count to loyalty” - mafee in 4x11 lamster billions

“captain, he think, and feels that much more powerful” - luminousbeings in you don’t have to (say yes) the star trek fic

“more than you know, i understand wanting to walk away from the jedi”“i know.” - anakin skywalker and ahsoka tano in 5x12 the wrong jedi star wars the clone wars

“i won’t leave you, not this time.” “then you will die” - ahsoka tano and darth vader in 2x12 twilight of the apprentice star wars rebels

“there is nothing so pure as a man on a mission. when faced with the fire, never quivers or runs. there is nothing so noble as sticking together, for lonely is the life lead when sticking to its guns." - narrator in bloodsong of love by joe iconis

“now i’ve got myself a name and i’m ready to risk it with a battle cry disguised as a sing-along” - never heard nothing by joe iconis

“i’m frickin done with being the loser, the wuss, the underdog. being the misfit, the old school analog. being the oddball, the weakling freak. the failure, the sucker, the please-don’t-speak. oh i can’t hardly wait for the moment when i’m not the loser the geek or whatever, ever again” - jeremy heere in be more chill by joe iconis

“i’m tired of being the person that everyone thinks that i am” - various in be more chill by joe iconis

“q is for quantitative, baby!” - winston in 4x12 extreme sandbox billions

“the cheering is just as important as the song” - lisa and ms. werring in the black suits by joe iconis

“first, best destiny” - spock in star trek ii wrath of khan

“be proud of your place in the cosmos. it is small, and yet it is. how unlikely. how fantastic, and stupid. and excellent.” - cecil in welcome to night vale old oak doors part b

“are we living a life that is safe from harm? of course not. we never are. the questions is are we living a life that is worth the harm?” - cecil in welcome to night vale parade day

“as I turned and my eyes beheld you, i displayed emotion. i beg forgiveness.” - spock somewhere in star trek tos

“the sky collapsed without a sound. these broken pieces hit the ground. the rain fell down around me and i drowned, but i will save you.” - part of me from dear evan hansen

“this is, after all, the story of how i died” - epsilon in the rvb13 trailer

“and while the law has many punishments for the atrocities we inflict on others, there are no punishments for the terrors we inflict on ourselves.” - the director in the s6 finale of red vs blue

that was in no way an exhaustive list but all i could think of at the moment

67. good luck charms?

not really any tbh. i try to wear my tower of pimps shirt whenever i take an exam but that’s about it.

71. least favorite pattern?

what does this even fucking mean?????? i will say the observer design pattern in programming because i don’t understand it well despite having used it twice now.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

oh god idk why are all these questions getting harder. nothing i can think of at the moment.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i say school id tentatively, but neither of them looks great. my school id photo was a selfie.

83. writing or drawing?

writing. i wish to GOD i could draw and i probably could if i put in the amount of time i need to to learn how to draw but im a lazy bastard. but i’m not that great at writing either as i’ve found out. everything is way too short and out of character and too venty and i am weird about letting people i know read what i write (sorry @ all the people who keep asking me to let them read my writing. it’s not that great you’re not missing out at all and i hate the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known) and i abandon ideas literal minutes after getting them.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

what the fuck kind of question is this?????? i GUESS the answer should be me but uh i am not even putting myself before myself as i am procrastinating on a shitload of homework with this. i guess my “close” friends. they’re pretty chill. but generally ill do anything for anyone all you have to do is ask.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4, my own, my home landline, my dad’s cell, and my dad’s work.

#not rt #teresa answers stuff #long post #jesus christ sorry for the infodump #Anonymous

5 notes · View notes

bazzledazzled · 6 years ago

Text

I’m not going to lie to you I am 100% pulling these headcanons from the spam of messages i sent @waywardpadaleski but I saw Voltron Hogwarts AUs floating around and I decided to make headcanons because I love this idea ive also doodled stuff and may post some or write something just not rn

OKAY SO

pretty much the houses just go with their lions— but lance is special snowflake im sorry i know i sound like one of those uber annoying lance stans that shove da boi down everyones throats i cant help it i love him but bare with me this makes sense

Okay so Keith is in Gryffindor because ofc he would

Pidge is Slytherin

Hunk is Hufflepuff

Allura is totally a Ravenclaw

What about Lance, you ask? Well u know how JK Rowling said that there’s things called “Hat Stalls” where people took longer than 5 min to get sorted???

Ye well Lance is one of THOSE

It would work with canon if you think about it because he kinda is stuck between the red lion and the blue lion and like-- I know keef is the same way with the black lion but shush

SO ANYWAYS

the sorting hats dilemma is that he’s smart and has the means to excel in Ravenclaw, but at the same time he’s outrageously brave like a Gryffindor

(MY BOI IS SMART FITE ME)

So the hat doesn’t know what to put him in

Then the sorting hat comes to the conclusion that while he could do great in Ravenclaw, he wouldn’t reach his full potential unless he was a Gryffindor (*COUGH* LIKE CANON)

Sooooo-- Pidge is like a year or two behind Hunk, Lance, and Keith because y’know, shes younger and stuff and she kinda gets into the group because of her older brother

THATS RIGHT MATTS HERE

So Matt is a Ravenclaw and him and Shiro are besties ofc

(Shiros Gryffindor sorry I forgot to mention it)

Matt was also a Hat Stall because when i was thinking about his house i couldn’t decide between Ravenclaw, Slytherin, or Gryffindor

But he’s Ravenclaw cuz it fits in with an Adashi thing im gonna bring up later

ANYWAYS

Shiro is also Keith’s older brother, they’re not biological siblings, its just Keefs dad was friends with shiros parents and when he passed away the Shiroganes adopted him

Shiro is ANNOYED because Keith and Lance are always fighting with each other in the commons and he just wants to read his book in peace

Now here comes the Adashi

Okay okay so Adam is Ravenclaw

I know we barely know anything about Adam (*glares at s7*) BUT based on stuff and how the fanon Adam is, I’m saying he’s Ravenclaw

So anyways

Let’s get to Quidditch because that’s part of the Adashi part of this AU

Keef is a Gryffindor Seeker because like-- he go vroom

I lowkey am making Lance a Keeper not only cuz he would be good at it but also cuz of those cheesy shirts that say things like “He’s a Keeper” and “She’s a Catch”

Shiro is a Chaser

Pidge and Hunk I think would be Beaters???? Idk

OH! James Griffin is also a Slytherin Seeker byeeee

Adam is the Ravenclaw Keeper

Headcanon is if theres one thing Lance and Adam have in common, its that they can make people flustered very easily

So ya know what Adam does, much to Shiro’s annoyance???

He flirts with him

Whenever they have games that are Ravenclaw vs. Gryffindor Adam will flirt with Shiro, winking at him, yelling stuff across the field, making Shiro so flustered he can’t throw straight (pun intended)

One time Adam gets Shiro so flustered he drops the ball

Matt, a Beater, high fives him

OH! Also Allura is a Chaser and she’s like the best Chaser in the school FITE ME

Okay thats enough of quidditch

Okay so as for family lineage and stuff

Shiro, Lance, and Hunk are muggleborns

They just are

Shiro’s parents knew about Magic because of keef and were surprised when they found out Shiro was a wizard

Lance is the only wizard in his family and he gets homesick a lot because he’s the only one who goes to Hogwarts and he misses his siblings and stuff

But he always brings niece and nephew home stuff from Hogsmade that he thinks they’ll like

Hunk, Lance, and Shiro meet because Hogwarts started a club during the summer for Muggleborns where they can meet and talk about concerns with Hogwarts and magic and stuff with other muggleborns that are older

So Lance and Hunk soon become really close friends and Shiro is kinda their advisor and stuff

Anyways

Keith is a Halfblood, which makes sense because i mean he’s half galra on the show so

His mom was a witch, and idk if im going to have her run away for something or die?? I mean I kinda want her to run away cuz of something so they can be reunited but i have no idea what it would be unless this was during the time of harry potter and it had something to do with Voldemort but i kinda want to stay away from all that so ye

Pidge and Matt are purebloods

But they’re not the stuck up purebloods

They’re literally the Weasleys

Sam has a fascination with muggle technology that Pidge and Matt share

So like, they have a lot of fancy tech

Pidge and Matt snuck a DS on campus and play Zelda at meals

Allura is probably a Pureblood but shes way less snooty, maybe even compared to her parents

As for teachers

Coran is Herbology teacher or something???

Alfor is Defense against the Dark Arts maybe??? I don’t know either him or Zarkon

Haggar is obviously the potions teacher

ANYWAYS

Everyone hates Lotor cuz his parents are teachers and he’s a teachers pet

But back to Haggar in potions

So she’s like the slytherin head thing or whatever they were

so yknow she’s biased

and it doesnt help that her son is also slytherin

(also Zarkon is a Gryffindor sorryyyyy)

(This also could play into keith or lance’s story by them being compared to Zarkon or something and it unsettling them)

(This just in-- I think Zarkon should be the voldemort)

(oh shoot im getting sidetracked with imagining zarkon as voldemort and lance as harry potter)

(help)

ANYWAYS

So ofc she sees that Lance and Keith are always at each others throat

and makes them potions partnets

because it makes it easier for them to get in trouble because they keep fighting and then she can take points from gryffindor

ANYWAYS

The one day they are tasked with making Amortentia, right??

Oh god this is so mcfreaking cliche im sorry

So Keef and Lonce are there, both tired from studying or something so already they’re cranky and half asleep

So they’re making the potion right?

And lance just coughs, a look of disgust on his face

“What?” Keef says. Lance plugs his nose.

“U stink, Keith.” And throughout potions class Lance keeps complaining that Keith smells really bad or something or he used too much cologne idk

Ofc like Pidge is in that class and shes snickering

Lance turns to her like “WHAT IS IT PIDGE”

She asks him if he knows what the potion is supposed to do

He’s just like “It makes people fall in love with u.”

“Yes but what else?” Both keith and Lance stare at her blankly. She explains that when u smell it you smell what u love most

Both keef and lances eyes widen

For the first time in forever they’re quite the entire period

Keith has a gay panic

Lance has a bi panic

they are disasters

Shiro confronts pidge after that day

“Pidge what did u do to keef and lonce they’re broken”

Pidge is all like, “Excuse me????”

“They’re being nice to each other.”

Hunk, who is also there, just snorts

“Pls explain this to me,” Shiro says, exasperated

Pidge explains the Amortentia scene

Shiro just laughs because of course they were in love with each other

(it lowkey reminds him of him and Adam)

(okay now i have theories that the reason why they made Adam shiro’s boyfriend is because its meant to mirror OTHER ships in voltron *cough* KLANCE and its foreshadowing or something i mean adam does look like lance and shiro and keith are sorta similar)

(shut up candy back to the AU)

Hunk admits that Lance has had a crush on keeth for like ever but he keeps saying its just a rivalry thing

Actual conversation between the two:

“And what’s up with his hair?? It’s like straight out of the 80′s and he has all the bangs over his eyes like an EMO like why is he trying to hide his eyes?” Lance blushes because he’s thinking about how beautiful Keefs eyes are. “Like why? Why is his hair like that i dont understand?? And what does he do to it why is it so soft???”

“You’ve touched his hair?”

“Yeah I was trying to see if I’m taller than him yet” Hunk was just confused but then Lance kept talking about keiths hair and he let it slip when it was like, almost 3am that keiths hair made him look pretty and lance would never be able to make that look good on himself, then immediately said something about the one time keef blew something up in first year because hes an idiot as a coverup

So hunk has known for some time

Even when lance didn’t know

So for the next couple weeks keith and lance act kinda weird around each other

because they don’t know how to handle feelings

they mostly avoid each other, standing on opposite ends of the room and glaring at each other

but of course that doesnt help them at all because for some reason they share a room

(oh my god they were roommates)

The rest of the boys in the room are angry because of all the sexual tension its giving them anxiety and they started sleeping in the commons

I actually have no idea who the other three boys would be because one of them couldnt be shiro because hes older and everyone else is in different houses so

At one point keith just blurts “Whats wrong with you?”

Lance gets all defensive because he takes it in a different way than Keith meant and thought Keith was saying he was flawed or something and he was broken and...

heres the langst

Lance just starts to get upset and is yelling saying nothing is wrong with him and he almost starts to cry because he’s just so confused and doesn’t know whats going on and he feels like hes not good enough for Gryffindor and

He has a lot of emotions

And he says all this, starting to ramble through tears, pouring all of his emotions out

Keef is shook

he doesn’t know what to do Lance never acted like this in front of him before and he’s never seen lance like this, so self conscious and doubting himself

Keith doesn’t know how lance could even think these things because in his eyes-- lance is perfect

Lance has always been so much better at magic than he was

and He’s so confident and such a good Keeper

He gingerly touches Lance’s shoulder.

“Lance I--” Keith doesn’t know what words to say, but apparently he doesn’t need to say any

Lance wraps his arms around him, burying his face in his shoulder, sniffling

Keith is surprised at first because u know keef

He doesn’t know how to react when someone hugs him

He gently hugs lance back, resting his head on Lances and running his fingers through his hair

Lance calms down, his breathing slowing and seeming more relaxed

when he does, keith tries his best to tell him how great he thinks lance is and how hes jealous and all that

Lance pulls away, rubbing his eyes.

“You mean it?” Keith nods solemnly, not looking at Lance. Lance touches his cheek, causing him to look back up, his brows knit together in confusion

Lance doesn’t know why, but he kisses him

(*klance fangirl in me starts screaming*)

and just??? the moment feels perfect to both of them? This was someone they always thought of as a rival, were always jealous of, and were always thinking about. They never truely understood their feelings for each other, until now

Shiro doesn’t comment when they walk into the dinning hall the next morning holding hands

But Pidge sure does

Okay im trying to think of more headcanons involving people other than Shiro, Keith, and Lance because i love all the characters and they deserve attention

Hunk makes friends with two other Hufflepuff girls

he he he yall know who it is

SHAY AND ROMELLE

MY GURLS

Shay and Romelle have been friends since they were first years and Shay yelled at Lotor for making fun of Romelle

they’ve been besties ever since

Hunk meets Shay and Romelle in Herbology because in like maybe 5th year or something Hufflepuff house was taught Herbology with the Slytherins. Every year before that it was either with Ravenclaw or Gryffindor so he would pair with Lance, Keith, Allura, or Shiro

Pidge was a year or two bellow him so they didn’t have classes together in case u were wondering

For the specific thing they needed a group of three and even though Hunk is a pretty nice guy and can make friends with everyone, everyone sorta had their trio

Because ofc he can find a PARTNER that was left out of their group of three, but suddenly they’re paired off in threes and there’s no sad loner who has no friends.

Shay and Romelle have an opening in their group

Hunk goes to work with them

They’re honestly the cinnamon roll squad and when Hunk introduces them to his friends Lance and Pidge immediately nickname them that

Hunk quickly falls in love with Shay

Like deeply in love

He’s always complimenting her and laughing at what she says

Romelle keeps trying to tell Shay that he likes her but Shay just goes “he’s just a nice person, Elle”

The Yule ball comes around ofc

and at this point Lance and Keith are dating

This is probably around.... Sixth year I want to say?

So here’s the line up

Keith and Lance go to the dance together

Shiro asks Adam in like this grand way and Adam is just like “wait we weren’t going together before??”

Matt doesn’t have a date but he invites Pidge because she threatened him (she wants to take pictures of Klance and Adashi acting cute and coupley to use as blackmail and Matt supports it)

Hunk starts freaking out because he really really really wants to ask Shay but he doesn’t know how

Lance gives him a pep talk, saying that she obviously likes him of course she’ll say yes

Hunk is still nervous

Lance is all like “C’mon asking your crush out isnt that bad if she says no she says no, but if she says yes then you get an awesome date.”

“Says the one who had a crush on his boyfriend since second year and covered it up as a rivalry.” Lance looks offended.

“You need to stop hanging out with Pidge.”

Lance decides to be Hunks wingman and starts asking Shay things like “You planning on going to the Yule Ball?” and “What do you think of Hunk?” He sees that she is very much interested and repots this to Hunk

He helps Hunk come up with a way to ask her

And its like the sweetest thing Romelle is in on it and she gives some stupid excuse as to why she cant study for herbology with them

then her and lance hide behind a bookshelf, giggling

Hunk gets super flustered

But he manages to ask her

Shay also gets really flustered

But says yes

oof okay thats three of my big ships canon now for the fourth.

When Hunk first introduces Allura to Romelle, her first thought is “Her. I want to date Her.”

Now Lance and Allura have already come out to each other as bi disasters

It actually happened when Lance got with Keith and they were talking about him, doing facials (they take care of their skin with each other fite me)

And Lance is just like “Yeah so I guess I like guys and girls” and allura is like “YOU CAN DO THAT” and lance is like “yeah????” and hes not sure if shes being biphobic or what and hes scared for like 0.1 second

and then allura just goes “Oh my god lonce i think i like guys and girls too”

And then they just start laughing

I guess I should also mention that they dated at one point too???

I don’t think it would’ve been super long, but probably around 3rd year they dated and thats actually probably how Allura got introduced to the Squad??

Lance first saw her when he finally joined the Gryffindor Quidditch team

He got picked to be a Keeper the second year

So their first game is against ravenclaw

And he’s pretty good for the most part

And then all of a sudden he sees allura flying towards him and she looks so beautiful and how can she be so beautiful and--

She just scored a goal

and he was staring dumbly at her

So Lance and Allura’s relationship kind of developed like it did in the show with Lance flirting with her and Allura being annoyed to them becoming friends and eventually mutual crush

Allura’s actually the one to ask Lance out

They date for a while and theyre actually a really cute couple

(I may be a hardcore Klancer but I do find Allurlance cute on the occasion)

But after a bit... it kinda fades away?? I don’t know they just start to feel like when they kiss its not... not how they thought it would be??

They slowly start to realize that they kinda just want to be friends, not boyfriend and girlfriend

It just adds stress that they don’t want and they want to be able to tell each other anything without having to worry about stuff

so they break up soon after they start dating

sadly

but they dont?? feel too broken up about it???

The feeling was mutual

Plus they like each other much more as friends than romantic partners

They’re like the ultumate brotp

Now they give each other facials every thursday

anyways

so allura finds out that she has a crush on Romelle

and who does she go to?

Ofc its lance hes a successful bi with a boyfriend

So he pretty much teaches her how to flirt

like seriously he teaches her how to flirt

And Allura makes it her duty to flirt with Romelle at every possibly oppertunity

Making Romelle freak out because how is she supposed to read this does she want to date Allura or????

They don’t really go any further for a while, its just allura slipping in little things every now and again or blowing kisses at romelle in the stands as she scores a goal

When the Yule ball rolls around, both Allura and Romelle dont have dates (Lotor asked Allura to the dance because they kissed one time in a game of spin the bottle and she responded with judoflipping him)

But they have fun

Everyone has fun actually

Its amazing and fluffy

(i feel like i should write a snapshot of this so i can finally write a fic that isnt centered around klance)

And a slow song comes on

Hunk and Shay awkwardly dance with each other, blushing brightly

Lance and Keith have their heads pressed together, Lance kissing Keith’s nose as they dance and making keith so flustered he stumbles and they both fall to the floor laughing

Adam and Shiro are that couple everyone is jealous of because theyre so perfect?? Like they have matching outfits and they dance gracefully and they kiss at just the right moments??

Pidge and Matt are god knows where probably videotaping the whole thing

And Allura kinda jokingly goes, “Well I guess then we should dance too.” And Romelle surprises her by taking her hand, pulling her onto the dancefloor

and freaking allura is actually really flustered and she’s blushing, having a hard time looking at Romelle

(romelle is having a hard time looking at her to fsajndvjhaio)

They’re both blushing.

At the end of the song theyre much closer to each other than they started

They look up at each other

And then Romelle squeezes her eyes tight and kisses allura

It barely lasts for a second

Allura is shook

Romelle is in Lesbian Painc

Allura is in Bi Panic

Nobody seems to have noticed

but both girls are dying

And then allura just timidly asks, “Can you-- can you do that again?”

Pidge walks up to them kissing and just goes, “Oh thank god I thought I was going to have to force you two to kiss”

Because pidge oversees everything and knows everyones crushes that theyre too stupid to see

I feel bad for pidge i don’t really know what big moments she should have???

I feel like shes a trouble maker though

Not like cruel pranks or something

But she likes to play jokes on people

A lot of the times that person is Lance

A lot of the time Keith is in on it

I also feel like eventually Allura and Romelle start to join her??

She recruits them for some big thing

Idk what

Its probably like a surprise for either Klance’s anniversary or Adashi’s

And they love this way of life

Romelle betrays the cinnamon roll squad and goes to the dark side

Also a little more about pidge

She was almost a Hat Stall

Her two houses were Slytherin and Ravenclaw

But at like 4 min and 43 seconds the hat announced slytherin

her family is actually a mix of slytherins and ravenclaws

her dad and brother are ravenclaws

her mom is slytherin

OH AND BEFORE I LEAVE

Lances rivalry with Keith started because Keith bought the last of the candy he wanted on the train

And during like 7th year when they’re cuddling or something and Keith is like “why did u start this rivalry” and lance says it’s because he took the candy and Keith is SHOOK and goes “I would have shared if u asked”

and yeah i may add but heres most of the headcanons i came up with

#voltron #klance #adashi #hunay #romellura #allumelle #what is their ship name???#pidge gunderson #hogwarts au #takashi shirogane #adam #lance mcclain #keith kogane #hunk garrett #shay #harry potter

259 notes · View notes

seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana · 5 years ago

Text

SE MCs background chapter 9: First Love

This is probably gonna be short?? Idk. But anyway after this chapter I will be writing a little short, not rlly a chapter, story or whatever about their childhood memories to show some sweet sibling love and stuff! Those memories will be related to throughout the story so I just decided to make a whole little story (?) about them or something. Anyway enjoy! Also, the way a person in here meets Sarah is so cliche but whatever-

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Sarah! It’s time to get up!” I opened my eyes and instantly felt too tired to move. It was Monday and 8 am. No one deserves to be awaken at this time. Especially me, a person who only gets like 4 hours of sleep a night. However, it had to be done. I was in college and I had to get used to waking up early on Mondays. But at least I get over with all of my classes at 3 PM! It’s like regular school, but the classes are so harder, but it’s to be expected of a college. I was studying to become a teacher. I loved little kids and wanted to teach them. It didn’t matter what it was, I just wanted to teach them. So, it’s why I was learning to become an elementary teacher. Sepcifically, a 3rd grade teacher, or anything below that. I’d rather deal with little children and not children who are going through a lot of emotions (5th graders). I could barely handle my emotions at that age, so dealing with maybe 20+ kids? Nope, nada, no.

I groaned and decided to get up and get dressed. I wore a black dress with black leggings. It was hot, so probably a bad decision, but I didn’t care. I always make bad decisions. I walk down the stairs and into the kitchen to see everyone up. I must’ve been the last one. “You’re 24, when are you going to get up by yourself?” Alexandra said to me, with a little smirk on her face. She’s the eldest and has always been the best. Well, in my eyes, she was the best. Sure she had her flaws, but she kept us in line and loved us all. I stuck my tongue out at her and grabbed a cup and poured myself some orange juice. “Whenever I start sleeping better,” I told her. Her eyes got soft and worried. “Well, have you been taking that medicine?” I looked away and shook my head. “It doesn’t work. 5 mg of melatonin isn’t working. Maybe I need to up it a little bit more?” “Maybe you’re just not trying hard enough,” I heard someone say behind me.

I turned around and noticed Zed sitting there, eating his waffles like he did every day. He loved waffles. I was more of a pancake gal, but whatever. I stuck my tongue out at him, like I did to my sister. “Hey, I do try. I just...suck at sleeping.” Zed made a hum sound and continued to eat. I sat down next to him and Alexandra and drank my orange juice peacefully. “You going to eat? You have to eat so your stomach won’t hurt with your medicine.” I have ADD and I take medicine for it. However, my stomach hurts if I don’t eat anything. I shrugged. “I’ll get something on campus.” Alexandra didn’t like that answer.

“Eat. Now. I don’t want you to be distracted by your stomach,” she said in a harsh tone, but I knew she was concerned under everything. I rolled my eyes in a playful way and got a croissant biscuit thing I could heat up in the microwave. I decided to be a bit greedy and got two. My stomach would thank me later. I heated everything up, ate it, and got my backpack and stuff ready for my class. “Where is everyone else?” “Mom and dad are at work, Jacob is sleeping in since his classes start later, and Christopher is doing the same thing.” Lucky. I wish I could sleep in. “Okay. Well I’ll see y’all when I get home.” Zed and Alexandra both wished me a good day and I walked out the door.

I got into my car and it was so hot. The summer heat is terrible these days. I turned the air conditioner on and began to drive to my college. I got there with 10 minutes to get to my class. I grabbed my backpack and ran to my class. I was in the building and was close to my class when I ran into someone. We both ended up falling to the ground. The person was carrying books but now they were all over the floor. Luckily, my backpack was closed. I looked up at noticed a guy with blonde hair. He had pink eyes but with a dazed look on his face. “Ah, I’m so sorry! I was just rushing,” I told him as I helped him up and handed him his books. He took the books from me and had a soft smile on his face. Now that I looked closer, he did look pretty handsome. From the books he had, I could tell he was studying about welding, or something to do with cars.

“It’s okay! I can see that you’re rushing,” he said with a smile. Man this guy seemed really nice already. I smiled back and started to run off again. “Sorry! I hope we can talk more soon!” I yelled as I ran through the halls towards my class. I sat down in my chair in my class right before the late bell rang. I sighed and class began. I couldn’t help but think about that boy throughout class. I don’t know why he stuck with me, but he did. I payed attention and before I knew it, class was over. I had no more classes that day, which was my lucky day. I began to walk down the hallways to get back to the parking lot. This time I had no rush and I looked around the hallways. There were different rooms and other hallways.

I eventually passed the cafeteria and I saw that boy once again. He was talking with another boy and he seemed very shy, or anxious, I have a hard time reading people. I shrugged it off and continued my walk to my car. However, the boy must’ve noticed me because I heard someone shout “Sarah!” I turned around and saw that boy jogging up to me. I smiled and waved at him. “Hey,” I said a little bit shyly. He smiled and introduced himself. His name was Oliver. He was my age too, that was nice. I looked into his eyes as me and him talked for awhile. He seemed like a nice guy, so we sat down and continued to talk. I noticed that his eyes glowed once. His pink eyes getting a bit pinker and brighter. It was weird and I shook my head.

My mind must be going crazy. However, I felt the need to be closer to him, to know him better. It was weird. I never usually get this close to people this fast. I just...felt this urge to want to be with him. Maybe love at first sight? Who knows. I’ve never really believed in it, but maybe it is real? I just continued talking to him.

As the days went on, I began thinking a bit more about it, I even got his phone number so we could chat from time to time. He asked me to hang out a few times and we had a blast. Alexandra and Jacob would always give the usual “if he hurts you, I’ll kill him,” speech. They did it to everyone in this family. Alexandra would do it to Jacob if he had a date, Jacob would do it to Alexandra, they would both do it to me and Christopher, and it was all a mess. But it made me feel happy. It showed me that they actually cared for me. I usually doubted if I was worth caring for. But they made me feel worth it, so my self esteem was rising slowly. Not getting too high, but I began to feel a bit better about myself.

One day I was playing my violin in the orchestra room of my college. I wasnt going to school to teach music, but it would be interesting if I did. Maybe I’d go back to school one day and learn more about music so I can teach kids about it. However, I still loved playing my violin and playing new songs. It kept me at peace and helped me relax from a hard day. The sounds it can make and how soft or loud it can be makes me calm. Ive played since I was in 6th grade, so I’ve been playing for a long time. I still have to write the letters underneath the notes, but that doesn’t matter. I was playing my 2nd time through “This is Halloween” on my violin, when I heard a knock at the door. The door was open so I turned around and saw Oliver leaning against the door.

“Sorry to interrupt,” he said with a smile. My heart did a little leap. I put my bow on a stand but didn’t put down my violin. I motioned for him to come closer. “Whatcha playing?” I smiled and blushed. I was happy he was interested into my music. Even if he only asked ‘what are you playing’ it still made me happy. “This is Halloween,” I told him. I picked up my bow and began to play it once more. It’s not because I didn’t want to talk to him, but I did want to show off. Maybe impress him a bit. I don’t know when that happened. I just wanted to impress him all the time. I ignored my feelings and let my hands do the work. The bow would go down slowly, then faster, then fast but soft at the same time, and I loved it. I occasionally looked over at Oliver and saw him watching me. I blushed a bit and messed up but kept going. That was almost the number one rule in playing. If you mess up, keep going. If you’re in a big orchestra group, wait until you know where you are in the music and start playing again.

I finish the song and he starts to applaud me softly. I smile and take a bow. We both laughed and he just smiled. “What?” I said while smiling back at him with a blush on my face. “Oh nothing. It’s just. You look so beautiful when you play the violin. You put your heart into it, and it’s amazing.” I was caught off guard. No one had ever really complimented me about my violin other than my siblings and my parents. It made me feel special. I put my violin down. “Thanks,” I said while taking his hand. His eyes glowed and I felt heat rise into my body. Before I knew what I did, I leaned in and kissed him. He closed his eyes, as if he wasn’t surprised by my sudden action. He pulled me closer and his body was so warm. It felt amazing.

After a minute or so, he pulled away from me. “Wow,” he said while trying to catch his breath. I laughed. I looked down, feeling a bit embarrassed. I don’t know why I did that, I just felt the need to. I mean, I did feel some feelings for him but I wasn’t sure if they were like that. I guess it doesn’t matter right now, I already did something I can’t take back, and I think I know my feelings. “It’s forward but, do you wanna be something? It’s fine if not, but Id like it if it could happen,” he said while blushing. I think that’s the first time seeing him blush. It was adorable. I nodded and smiled so hard. It’s been awhile since I’ve had a boyfriend. Well, it’s been awhile since I’ve loved anyone else other than my family. I’ve stopped dating for awhile since everyone seemed just not right.

Let’s see how this one goes.

#se #sweet enchantments #se MC #sweet enchantments mc #my writing

1 note · View note

harrypotterandthefandomaccount · 7 years ago

Text

Never Caught A Feeling This Hard

request: Can you write a Snape x hufflepuff student scenario when idk(female) reader hates him and she just tries to ignore his attitude but when he once again takes points from her house, she just snaps at him. And she leaves the classroom and tries to ignore him as long as possible. Please make it really angsty and sad cause I love having my heart broken. But a fluffy ending x3 if you're comfortable I'd appreciate a heated kiss but if you're not then a confession from both parties is ok☆

Summary: while your almost an expert at potions, your friend Y/F/N isnt that bright with the subject. When Professor Snape yells at your friend and takes points away from their house, you being a Y/H, stand up to Snape and tell him off. Flabberghasted at your outburst, he only follows you with his eyes as you storm out of the classroom. While Y/F/N thanks you, they say Snape requested to see you. Embarrassed at your show in front of the class, you refuse to see him and change your seat to the back with Y/F/N. When Yule Ball comes around, your last one ever at Hogwarts, Snape decides its the right time to approach you. Feelings are revealed with angst but happy ending.

note: yuhh another posty lyric, this was a request so dont hesitate to send some in! im sorry this is a bit late, i got a summer sickness/cold and ive slept the entire day away. anyways, enjoy!

warnings: ill come back to this when im done, like one curse word and teacher x student relationship

6-28-18

Grabbing your potions textbook, you and Y/F/N made ways to Professor Snape’s classroom. Throughout your years, even before coming to Hogwarts, potions had become your best subject and some even told you that you were better than Hermione. She had even been amazed at your brewing skills.

You friend Y/F/N, on the other hand, wasn’t as gifted with potions as you were. However, her charming skills superb. But with Snape being such a hard-ass teacher, it was tough to get help or even a ‘good job’ from the man.

Heading into the classroom, you and Y/F/N sat up front as always. You had always liked sitting front and center, wanting to show you teachers you were there to learn. You assumed it was because you were a Y/H.

Snape swiftly walked into the classroom, shutting the windows behind him. Today was like any other day, except he mentioned the day before that your class would be learning a tougher potion; Veritaserum.

Walking up to the front of the class, everyone got quiet. Snape nodded, ”if you listen carefully to today’s lesson. . .I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death — if you aren’t as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach.”

At that, you let out a snort of laughter. Snape met your eyes and a small smile formed, gone as quick as it appeared. The professor then turned his attention to the class, telling them what to grab and to open their textbook pages to 394.

Glancing to Y/F/N, you smiled, “I’ll get your book ready and you can get both of us ingredients, yeah?” They nodded, writing down the ingredients and rushing off to get them.

Coming back, you grabbed your own ingredients from your friends shared part of the table. “Thanks for getting them Y/F/N,” you said, making them nod to you.

Reading the book, you set your cauldron to the required heat and crushed some ingredients together. After waiting a few minutes, you put in the materials and stirred, waiting for the potion to turn green. You noticed Snape walk past your table and tap against a vile of liquid, then tapping your arm. Letting out an “ahh,” you put the vile in.

Next was kind of a blur. A tiny explosion next to you had occurred and the sound hurt your ear. Y/F/N laid on the floor, rubbing their head. “Hey,” you said, rushing to their side, “you ok?” They nodded, “yeah. . .I don’t know why that happened?”

You pulled them up to their chair again, “doesn’t matter as long as you-”

Snape had slammed his hands on the desk, “what the hell were you thinking?”

You friend retreated back, “I-I’m sorry sir, I h-honestly don’t k-know what I did wrong.”

The professor scoffed, “of course you didn’t, you ignorant child. 10 points from Ravenclaw.”

You scowled, “sir! They made an honest mistake, we all do! Any other student here would have made the same mistake, so leave them alone. You never have any consideration for any os us; we are learning this class, not experts. Some excel more than others, but we all are experiencing this for the first time. So please sir, lay off.”

With that, you grabbed your bag and shuffled out of the room, leaving a wake of wide eyes behind you. Snape followed your figure with his eyes, unable to believe that you, his favorite student, had just caused a scene by picking a fight with him. He grumbled when you left, “get back to work.”

After your outburst at your favorite professor, you decided to head back to the Y/H commonroom. You failed to notice that class had ended and Y/F/N walked into the room. “Hey,” they started, “I’m not supposed to be in here but thanks for sticking up to Snape. I appreciate it. . .but he told me to tell you that he wants to see you.”

You nodded, “right, well. .no probelm, Y/F/N. He was being so out of line. Though I’m not sure if I want to face him. Thanks for telling me, though.” They nodded their head and walked out, going to their next class. You assumed you should get to class, too.

The next day, you had potions first which made you happy but also very gloomy. You were getting the worst class over and done with, but first of the day? Pass. Heading into class, you grab Y/F/N’s hand and drag them to the way back before Professor Snape walks inside. Pushing your hair to the side, you hide your face and rest a hand on the side of your head when Snape walks by you.

You and him did not look at one another the entire class, only focusing on your new potion to make; Amortentia the love potion. You and Y/F/N already knew it was an easy class, having made the potion aside from class before.

You both did everything right and Snape added 5 points to each of your houses for having been done first. You didn’t give the professor a second glance, just nodding at his words of encouragement. Y/F/N gave you a small smile, but continued to write down notes for a reminder of what different potions consist.

Finally, it was the night of the Yule Ball, your last one ever. Cedric Diggory asked you to be his date and of course you said yes. Grabbing Y/F/N and some other Y/H pals, you wandered through Diagon Alley and past Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, waving to Fred and George from outside. They waved for you to come inside and you sighed but smiled.

The twins went up to both sides of your face, each giving you a kiss on the cheek, “hello gorgeous!” You laughed, “hello, hello. Now what do you hooligans want?”

Fred handed you a bottle of Amortentia as him and George talked, “a bottle of love,” George then whispered, “for Professor Snape.”

You jumped back and let out a fake laugh, “ha! As if. . .seriously though, what do you want?”

The twins looked to one another then back at you, “no joke, little lady. We’ve seen the way you look at him.”

Just then, Ron came up to the brothers and you on the stairs, “how much for this?”

Fred and George looked at the item, “5 gallons.”

Ron chuckled, “how much for me?”

With that, the two taller boys nodded again, “5 gallons.”

You let out a laugh as Ron looked offended, “Y/N! But, I’m your brother.”

Fred and George shrugged, “10 gallons.” The twins then walked off, leaving Ron confused and you staring at the love potion in the bottle.

Getting your dress, you decided on a long red sleeveless dress which had light ruffles at the bottom and small parkles over it. There was a bow that went across the middle and you fell in love.

It seemed different putting it on, having the potion given by your favorite twins in your bag. You pulled it out and sniffed it, noticing it smelled like Professor Snape; bitterness and old shoes with a spiff of charcoal. Appealing, really.

Walking into the ball with Cedric, he hooked his arm with yours. You smiled at each other and he kissed the top of your head like a good friend would. Throughout the night, you both stayed together until you went off to go to the bathroom. However, before you could reach the bathroom, a hand pulled you behind a large column.

You gasped and your eyes met anothers; Severus Snape’s. You furrowed your brows, “professor? What?”

Snape pulled at your waist and rested a hand at the side of your head, “you. . .pest! You’ve infested my head with images and thoughts of you, just you, and I cannot stop.”

Your eyes squinted at Snape’s words, “what the hell! Wha - what do you mean. . .Severus?”

The professor’s eyes wandered along your face, stopping at your lips, “I. .I love you. And you’re my student. Stay after the party, I want to see you again.” With that, he walked away and left you by the column. You headed back to your table with Cedric and spent the night with him until he decided to head to bed.

“Goodnight, Y/N. . .thank you for being my date,” Cedric said, making you smile.

You gave a bright smile as you kissed his cheek, “thank you for asking me. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Every person had left by now, Professor McGonagall saying her goodnights to you. Smiling, you saw Snape appear out of the shadows, “may I have this dance?”

You nodded, “of course.” Snape offered his hand and you accepted it, standing up and resting a hand on his shoulder and his on your waist. Your other hands joined together, dancing together.

After dancing to the sound of nothing, you both stood by the window, looking out among the land of Hogwarts. You smiled at Severus, “it’s a perfect night. . .for us.”

Snape gripped your waist, kissing your cheek lovingly, “it is, indeed. I wish we could have this. . .forever.”

You looked up at him, glancing at his lips, “we can. When I graduate, it won’t matter.”

He rubbed his thumb along your waist that was covered by the dress, “you could have someone your age, who you desire.”

Putting a hand to his cheek, you shifted his face towards yours, “you are all I desire, Severus. Only you.”

He leaned down, capturing your lips with his, “if that is what you desire, so be it.”

437 notes · View notes

crafiet · 6 years ago

Note

1-50 of the writer’s ask thing, go!

BITCH UR RUDE AF

The Basics1. Do you listen to music when you write?mostly yeah but it depends on my mood2. Are you a pantser or plotter?both, i was a complete pantser up until recently but ive been trying to outline big scenes so i know where im going3. Computer or pen and paper?computer for drafting. pen and paper for outlining/planning4. Have you ever been published, or do you want to be published?not published, dont wanna be5. How much writing do you get done on an average day?none but yesterday i wrote 2k /shrug6. Single or multiple POV?usually single but ive been trying multiple!! its hard!!! idk what voice is!!7. Standalone or series?ugh again mostly standalone, but ive been dabbling in series8. Oldest WIPmy spies one which went though a fantasy and scifi phase and was originally dystopian9. Current WIPmy mages! i have no titles bc who10. Do you set yourself deadlines?nup

The Specifics11. Books and/or authors who influenced you the mostuhhhh to be fair im v easily influenced so if i read a book and really like it i subconsciously try to implement that style of writing or try out that genre in my own work12. Describe your perfect writing spacea desktop next to a big open window where i can play music without headphones13. Describe your writing process from idea to polisheduhhhh i dont have a finished wip yet so idk lol usually: idea→ characters→ plot→ spur of the moment 10k word vomit→ more planning, outlining→ more words→ repeat planning and drafting until finished14. How do you deal with self-doubts?i just take a break, read some bad books, read some good books, look at writing tumblrs and just marinate for a bit before going back in15. How do you deal with writer’s block?i perpetually have it and since i dont have deadlines or a publishing contract i just ride it out, writing is strictly a hobby for me16. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied with a project?i edit as i go, im onto draft 2 of my mages but its technically a rewrite bc i changed most of the plot17. What writing habits or rituals do you have?i have none atm, but i usually pick a time where i know i wont be disturbed/distracted so usually at night18. If you could collaborate with anyone, who would it be, and what would you write about?idw collab sdkksdlkbnsd die19. How do you keep yourself motivated?i just really really like my worlds lol conceited 20. How many WIPs and story ideas do you have?i have!!! 5?

The Favourites21. Who is/are your favourite character(s) to write?oh mannngggg i like all my protagonists, ary is the easiest bc shes the one i work with the most, but its super entertaining to be in remy’s head, and i like calyp’s bc hers is so different AAHH22. Who is/are your favourite pairing(s) to write?remy and seth orrr red and kieran. if im answering this correctly? or do u mean types of pairings lol idk23. Favourite authorhummm idk every author i really like have books i dont like so i cant say24. Favourite genre to write and readfantasy25. Favourite part of writingworldbuilding *.*26. Favourite writing programgoogle docs. it would be word but im too poor to buy it lol27. Favourite line/sceneidk if this is my favourite but“I am at least trying to be civil.”“I am being civil. You want me to yell at you? Turn into a wolf and fight it out like you’d want?”Kieran closed the file and stood. “I don’t—rem—”“Remember.”“I don’t remember you being so—” He searched for a word, but gave up and growled instead. Red got the idea.“Angry? Callous? I ought to reteach you the English language.”“I know how to speak,” Kieran blurted. “Remember, I spent twenty-four years a full human.”“And look how fast that’s disappeared.”28. Favourite side characterwhat are side characters lol ENSEMBLE CASTS29. Favourite villainossssshhhh probably michael bc i love him30. Favourite idea you haven’t started on yetive started on all my wips im one of those bastards who can multitask

The Dark31. Least favourite part of writingactually drafting lmao32. Most difficult character to writeprobably christine bc shes meant to be relatable and down to earth and thats boring smh33. Have you ever killed a main character?yes, not a pov one though34. What was the hardest scene you ever had to write?probably any scene that requires a lot of research on a topic i know nothing about, like hacking or sword fighting or whatever35. What scene/story are you least looking forward to writing?bridging scenes suck theyre necessary but they SUCK

The Fun36. Last sentence you wrote“My plan would go smoother with you involved, but I can find others. Many want his head.”37. First sentence or your current WIPShe squinted in the harsh light.38. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever hadugh this girl who could see deaths coming and she worked for the fbi but she was like 15 so she still had to go to highschool lol39. Weirdest character concept you’ve ever hadprobably her, only bc i was 13 when i created her and was reading this banshee series but somehow didnt connect??? and didnt realise she was a banshee?? without the screaming40. Share some backstory for one of your charactersomg all of my characters have purposefully murky backstories bc i find that trope cool af lol. i guess ary has that typical woe-is-me backstory where her parents were killed, she spiraled and got involved with the wrong people and then was betrayed and arrested lol

The Rest of It41. Any advice for new/beginning/young writers?literally i swear by: trying anything out. fiddle with pov, tense, perspective, genre, character identity, hell take a story you like and try to put your own spin on it. writing as a craft only gets better with practice and my best work is when im going outside of the box/my comfort zone42. How do you feel about love triangles?is this even a debate anymore, this trope got flamed so hard i havent seen it in ya in years. i dont really care about it43. What do you do if/when characters don’t follow the outline?good lol my outlines are usually done on the spot and i come up with more creative plots/scenes if i can think on it a bit44. How much research do you do?i edit as i go so i research as i go. my pre-drafting research extends to saving links on things i might wanna write about and thats it lol. i would say i dont do as much as i should45. How much world building do you do?a lot lol i LOVE worldbuilding. but i find it hard to incorporate it into my draft naturally so a lot of minute details get cut 46. Do you reread your own stories?all the time lol i forget what i wrote half the time47. Best way to procrastinatetwitter–OR if u wanna seem “productive”, writing blogs are a good way to get distracted48. What’s the most self-insert character/scene you’ve ever written?bitch there was a time where i only wrote self insert characters lol49. Which character would you most want to be friends with, if they were real?im too lame to hang out with any of my characters. they would be nice to me but i wouldnt get to know them like how i know them from an author perspective50. [Other question—ask me anything]u didnt ho

#writing #cloudybookash #sorry for the long post

4 notes · View notes

juliairian · 6 years ago

Text

Structure & Storytelling: A shameless analysis and critique of my own writing

TL;DR: I used structural analysis to figure out what was bothering me about my current WIP.

I’ve always been interested in storytelling as a structuring device for life, that’s part of why I pursued a literature degree. I haven’t read much more in this area since my graduation, though, and I missed it a bit. Recently I began reading John Yorke’s brilliant book on story structure, Into The Woods. To anyone who loves storytelling I recommend this whole-heartedly. Basically it shows how there’s a typical structure that underlies all human experience and how it is inherent in most fiction that we consume.

What was funny though was that I am currently writing a fanfic and I wasn’t happy with it. I kept thinking that the balance was all off. I didn’t know how to fix it.

Simply out of morbid interest, I took the structure Yorke describes and looked at my first fanfiction (One Breath) with that in mind. I was extremely surprised to find that Yorke’s structure was absolutely spot-on in that fic, even though I had nothing like that in mind when I started writing. I didn’t plan it like that. I didn’t chart it out beforehand, I just wrote. For example, the climax of most stories, where the action with the most profound impact hits and everything comes to a head is usually found smack-bang in the middle. Out of 116 pages, my climactic moment (Sherlock & John kiss) was on page 58. I am not kidding. The rest falls into the pattern neatly as well (inciting incident, reversals, new knowledge incorporated with old to form something new, etc.).

Now this fic was my first Johnlock story (not my first fanfic tho) and is by far nothing special. It plods along, it’s fluffy, it’s cute, but there’s not much of a plot ;-)

So I was surprised by the subconscious application of something that just “felt right” (and that feels right to apparently most storytellers), something so universal that without knowing what I was doing, I used it. (Of course I did study this stuff in Uni and I had to read quite a lot of Shakespeare, so perhaps some of that did rub off subconsciously? idk.) I am impressed by how apt Yorke’s analysis is, even for my Johnlock fanfiction ;-)

Now I went back to my other WIP (No Vacancy) and looked at it with this in mind. Again, to my surprise, I found that the underlying structure was the same - so far. I’ve already gone past the climax (Sherlock and John nearly kiss?*) and realised that to balance things out a bit I only need to adhere to a rough page-count from now on, to make sure that part stays right in the middle.

However, looking at the amount of pages I wrote for each part (taking a 5 act structure as the basis for now) I found out why I thought my balance was off: I spent a relatively short time on the buildup, eager to get to the climax (dat sweet sweet almost-kiss). After that, I suddenly realised I had a lot of plot to squeeze in, seeing as I hadn’t really given that much room so far. (”Shit, how do Sherlock and John work out who the bad guy is?!”) Then there’s just a lot of scenes where nothing much happens and it’s just pining and angst and more pining (and some baking). No wonder everything felt off-balance. Basically, I spent the same amount of pages (48 so far) on “Part IV″ as I spent on the climax (50 pages in "Part III”). A Part IV less burdened by details and plot contrivance would have served me better. Also, if I am meant to stick to my page count, I will have to put another 40 pages into the resolution and happy ending, and I’m not sure it’ll come to that.

*I also tried to structure the fic differently so that the climax can be their actual kiss in the current chapter. However, that would mean I am only half-way through the story and I am almost at the end. So I believe my original assumption of the climax being the almost-kiss stands, even though it means the rest of the story is structurally a bit unsound.

My problem was: I plotted this thing to death beforehand. I had this huge script about what the convoluted plot was and at this point I’m not sure it makes a lot of sense anymore, haha... With my last fic, the plot was a mere afterthought and I was better off with that! So lesson learned: sometimes, less is more. Think a little bit (but not too much) about the structure beforehand to create that nice flow.

I’m glad I found an “explanation” why my work seemed a bit off to me. However: I will continue to finish this story (it’s all plotted out after all) and I still think it works as a vehicle for some lovey-dovey fluff. And then I will take what I learned with me for my next story.

God, I’ve never posted something so long and rambly. If you stuck out this long, I’d really love to hear what you think about this. I am off, going to structurally analyse all my other fanfiction now ;-)

Love, Julia xxx

#my writing #writings #analysis #literature #fanfiction #writing #into the woods #john yorke #storytelling #structure #archetypes #rambling

2 notes · View notes

hyungkyun · 7 years ago

Text

(^:

HENLO!!! this is ur actual bday present, not that Gross thing i sent earlier lol. again, do whatever u want with it!! u dont have to post it or anything. it’s just easier to submit stuff like this than to, idk, send u an email like a señora lol.

ok so im doing this in bullet point format bc the last time I wrote a coherent, well-written paragraph was like 5 years ago or smth. anyway!! since u hated soooo much my beautiful, amazing, unique goths au im going with the loser couple au… which was also a college au of sorts?? dskjhksjdf this isn’t even an au, since y’all are already losers tbh (^: this also got out of hand…. this shit is eight pages long. idk enjoy bithc.

first of all, ck the kind of dude everyone’s lowkey scared of bc he’s silent and serious af. also he does seem kind of a weirdo, tbh?

youve seen him around, maybe you’re in the same dorms but u have absolutely no idea what he’s majoring in :o and u ask around but no one has any idea either!! oh wow a mystery~~

BUT he’s kinda cute hmmm (^: and u probably find the weirdo vibe interesting

however it’s so hard to get to talk to him. u always run into him when you’re out with friends or in a hurry to get to class so :///

but destiny works in mysterious ways~~~ and once u meet it’s rly. so unexpected.

actually, it’s awful since u get locked out of ur dorm sound familiar?? during winter break, rly late at night after a long study session at the library yes, the library, fight me. so u kinda just. sit down miserably outside ur room, since ur roommates are gone, cursing everything and everyone. u will eventually go looking for someone to help u out or smth but right now u need to Whine.

but oh my!! enter mister im changkyun!!! that weirdo who actually lives a couple of doors away from u (how come you never found out wtf???)

he sees u basking in ur misery and actually. finds u rly cute??? bc you’re pouting, cursing a little under ur breath, fumbling with ur phone. but u also look angry as fuck, ready to kill a man??? and yet you’re really fucking cute what the hell!!!!

so he comes up to u and asks u what’s wrong, to which u answer not so nicely without even looking up from ur phone, bc you’re rly so done with this situation ://

but then u look up and u See who it is fuck fuck fuck fuckfucbicvufkhkcfj

but since ck’s Nice and he understands that u must be having an awful time (and also bc he thinks youre cute) he offers to help u. you’re kind of skeptical since he’s just another student, what could he do???

until he tells u he knows how to pick locks lmaoaoaoaoa. that lil weirdo (‘:

anyway he saves ur night. but since he’s an annoying lil shit he’ll tease u abt it every time he runs into u for the rest of winter break.

since that day y'all basiclly become an old, bickering, married couple fnsdjdj

u never stop annoying each other…. you’re wearing a hoodie? he’ll probably pull the hood all the way down until it covers ur eyes, and u get him back by messing up his hair which, by the way,is so soft….. hmmmm

u call each other nerd and loser and dumbass all the time lmao. he’ll constantly bring up the way u met just to jokingly say that you’d be lost without him :/// he rly is a lil shit.

it’s funny bc everyone figures out u are falling for each other… except u two. and i rly do mean everyone. ur friends. his friends. ur roommates. ur cat. the janitor, too, probably. it’s so obvious it hurts.

one time someone implies u would be a cute couple and y'all literally go all ‘no???? haha me??? liking that loser??? pfft not in a million years’

it’s the biggest lie, of course (: and ever since that person suggested u would look good together, both of u kind of realize it’d be… nice. more than nice. actually, super nice.

but since both of u are dumb tsunderes, as ive said before, u will literally be the embodiment of this scene… except it goes both ways. honestly u are so gone for each other it’s GROSS.

but we need some angst up in here so y'all dont get together for a reaaaaaaally long time :/ smh. the pining is Real. ppl come and go in ur lives, and each person u go out with sees that u already fell for someone else—and that’s why all potential relationships don’t last much–, but sdjkfhksjdhk!!! neither of u want to openly admit it.

it’s A Mess bc u are actually good friends and u tell each other abt ur dates and stuff—secretly hoping the other will do something—but y'all looove being dumb so u act like it’s all cool and be like ‘o rly!! good for u, i hope it works out’. right. :/

y’all keep dancing around each other for several months until one Merciful Soul gets tired of ur shit and forces u to sort things out. im talking abt locking u up in some room and not letting u out until u stop pretending u aren’t disgustingly in love with each other. or smthequally cheesy (: u know ilove cheese

((obviously everyone eavesdrops through the door bc cmon, theyve been waiting for this for sooooo long))

at first u two are just annoyed at the Merciful Soul betchait was minhyuk, and u spend ur time yelling and cursing them for doing this (all while claiming that this is pointless, since u have NO feelings for each other. none. nada!)

after a very long time, it’s ck the one that confesses first lmao. youve been whining and being grumpy the whole time youve been locked up together and it kinda reminded him of the way u met… damn. here come The Feelings.

he’s tired, and there’s nothing left to lose. so he tells u The Truth.

[suspenseful pause….. what’s going to happen next?? :OOOOO]……… tune in next year to find out, in the continuation of Cristina’s Cheesy Birthday Present!!!

jk, proceed to the next bullet point pls.

obviously u tell him u feel the same way [insert ppl crying in the background] and he’s actually shocked when u say u like him back…. and gosh, he does look cute when he’s surprised…

so yeah!!! it’s until then that u FINALLY go on a date during the weekend!!. hallelujah. thanks minhyuk,u beautiful soul.

so!!! ok!! first date!!! a rly cute fairground in the evening!!!

u try to be fake mean to each other like u used to but everything feels different~~~ (^:

so instead y’all act bashful as hell, and blush at everything jjdfghjfhd. hands brushing accidentally?? BLUSH. eyes meeting? BLUSH. BLUSH BLUSH BLUSH!!! u also laugh at everything bc both of u are so nervous oh gmhg fdknjjkdsfjoidf this is gross.

he’ll tell bad jokes to make u laugh and they’re rly so so so bad that he actually keeps u in stitches. if u look rly closely you’ll see his huge ass heart eyes bc !!!! he made u laugh!!!! and u look so pretty when u laugh omg!!!! dis-gos-tinnnnn

it’d be such a cute date tbh im crying just thinking abt it (‘’’’: obviously he’s a gentleman and he lets u choose what to eat, which ride to go to first, etc. u could literally tell him ‘hey let’s just sit down and do nothing’ and he’d say yes. he’s so gONe, ifmgfjdmf.

he’s kinda quiet and a lot shier than u wouldve expected but youre literally melting bc that’s a new side to him that you’d never thought you’d see.

u end up having so much fun (‘: u gross lil idiots, u.

oh and he’s def the type to ask if he can kiss u at the end of the night EYYYYYY

even if u find that incredibly endearing you’ll probably roll ur eyes with a huge ass smile on urlips lmaoaoaoao and call him a dummy for even asking when you’ve literally be in cloud nine since ur date started kjkhwjeqdkwjlk

[hello, brief break to clarify that from this point i forgot this was actually a college au lmao, so the rest of the bullet points are literally just. random facts abt u two dating hhhhhh. We dont even know what ck’s major is odjfngnfdj]

at first things are a lil awkward in ur relationship tbh

catch ck googling ‘how to relationship’ on a daily basis dnfndkfjdncn he is sort of clueless abt how to handle The Feelings. mostly bc this is Important and the last thing he wants is to mess it up )^:

that goes away eventually, tho!! he’ll start being his weird little self real fucking soon, so Get Ready

u still call each other nerd and all that stuff, but ur voices are dripping with fondness when u say it… literally everyone around u gets cavities from it, ew.

he’s not that big on planning dates but from time to time he’ll take u to rly cool, unexpected, interesting places :o and eventually he’ll show u his favorite secret spots ((’:

study dates are a thing. i bet he’s that type of person that enjoys reading in weird ass positions… his legs are like, halfway off the couch and his arm is bent in a way that looks almost painful… what the hell….?? but it’s fine (: it goes so well with ur study methods, those that are Too Weird for the library, yeah?? (:

he will also stare at u a lot bc u look cute when you’re rly focused on smth that is, when u stop whining abtstudying…

every time u catch him doing that you’ll go all ‘stop staring at me!!! wtf are u looking at u weirdo’ and he’ll answer ‘you’re so pretty~~~ ♥️♥️♥️’. you’ll blush like a lil idiot, naturally (^: hmmmm

and yea, yea. nap dates are a thing too :/// with sleepy forehead kisses and raspy voices and tangled limbs. all that sappy stuff. he’s a lil shit tho, so he’ll sometimes poke ur ribs to tickle u lmao.

buuuut he’ll also take a lot of pics of u sleeping bc he thinks youre cute )))): his faves always end up being his wallpaper for months.

he’ll get strange gifts for u, like rly bizarre plushies and rare books on topics he thinks u will like, tacky anime memorabilia, etc. he’ll always give them to u at random times bc he just saw them and reminded him of u ♥️

he makes a lot of playlists for u too!!! pls listen closely, he puts a lot more thought into them than he lets on.

u like his selfies??? well he’ll send u a lot of those. unfortunately, bc he’s a lil shit, he’ll mostly send double chins and weird ass faces from equally weird angles

from time to time he’ll send u a Nice One tho ((((^: and u know, tongue selfies since youreSO fond of his(and I quote) “5ft tongue”. and oh gosh! is that a tongue piercing…??? eyyyyyy

if u want to take couple selfies then you’re gonna have a real hard time bc he’ll always be making weird faces and poses just to be annoying. eventually u will make dumb faces too tho (’: what a couple of losers

expect weird random texts: he loves telling u abt whatever is on his mind—probably aliens. he thinks a lot abt aliens and the universe. throw some conspiracy theories in there, too—. he’ll also send obscure memes. and a lot of russian cats!!

he’ll love ur cosplay hobbie. he thinks it’s super cool. he’ll call u a nerd but don’t be fooled! he totally brags abt it with his friends (^:

oh! and this is unrelated but at some point y'all will look like an emo goth couple. u won’t even realize that you’re both wearing black and looking Edgy, it’ll just happen spontaneously. tragic 😔

there are a lot of comfortable silences when u hang out, but late night deep convos are also fundamental :o!!! bc y'all are Smort.

he’ll act like f*cboi from time to time tbh?? he’ll tell lots of dirty jokes LMAO. u roll ur eyes at him a lot bc they’re rly. so bad.

if he winks or does Eyebrow Things then u can’t rly roll ur eyes and act like you’re annoyed bc (: u like it (: and u think it suits him (: and he knows it (: (: (:

u get back at him by telling him he’s cute tho, and he’ll get all shy and he’ll stutter and saying “noooooo” while also fighting back a smile

he will also howl or bark at u to annoy u jdfhkjdf. damn f*rry ://

on that note, he loves to embarrass u in front of ur friends bc he’s a lil shit :DD

But he’s also the sweetest??? whenever he sees you’re feeling down he’ll start doing weird shit to make u laugh. if that doesn’t work then he’ll hug u real tight without saying anything else, bc that’s Enough, u know?? (’:

ok time to get Domestic lads!!!

Idk who the hell is going to cook bc y'all are a damn mess in the kitchen. u two try to cook Nice Meals sometimes. seven times out of ten u end up ordering takeout lmao.

be prepared: he sings in the shower, and he does so terribly. (he might do it a little louder and a little more off-key sometimes bc he knows it makes u laugh)

random kisses are a thing!!! he kisses ur cheek or ur shoulder or ur nape or literally. any body part he can get his lips on when u two are just hanging out, watching movies or smth. it’s so soft and cute )^: wtf im crying

but also stolen kisses!! he’ll kiss u at the most unexpected of times and it alwaysleaves u breathless

he’ll constantly put his head on ur shoulder and make this face at u (^:

can’t sleep??? don’t worry!!! he’ll sing to u with that pretty, soothing voice of his

anyway. what I meant is that y’all would be such cute little idiots together this was long af. wow. im so sorry. happy birthday??? lmao

I HAD TO PUT THIS UNDER A READ MORE BC ITS SO FUCKING LONG NAT U DUMBASS ICB U DID THIS KFJSKFJSLKDJFLKJ THIS IS SO CHEESY AND GROSS and it also made me realize that u know too much shit abt me. what was that t*ngue part. im not talking to u ever again. aNYWAY U RLY ARE AN IDIOT I WAS SMILING SO BIG THRU THIS WHOLE THING MAYBE I SCREAMED A LITTLE?????????? FUCK U!!!!!!!! WHATS WITH ‘The Feelings’ PART I HATE THAT I ALMOST DIED FUCK OFF IM NOT LIKE THIS!!!!!!! I DONT HAVE FEELINGS!!!!!! U CANT DO THIS TO ME SKJFHSKJDHFKSLDJFH

icb u rly did the fairground first date i rly fucking hate u why did i even tell u these things i knew it was gonna fire back im fjjgjkknknnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn ur ‘tragic 😔’ when we become a goth couple :/ u dont understand goth love

why the fuck did u make him howl. i wanna fucking die rn. what the fuck. he fucking would. fuck off.

i dont wanna talk abt all that domestic shit how did u even write all of that without dying i literally wanna rip all my limbs off i wont make any comment. i didnt need to know what that would be like but u looooove ruining my life so :)

i rly hate u ksdjfhskdjhfksjh icb u did this thank u i wanna die??????????? wtf nat !!!!! no but rly thank u :( u took the time to write this long ass college au (is it????? whats cks major tho rly :/ ) and just skdfjsjk u remembered all the weird shit i told u thats cute and also Really Bad what else do u know that i forgot i told u skdfksjh im literally always screaming at u abt this shit how did u !!! remember all of this!!!!! dldskfjshljhlakjsh this is so cute and horrible nat wtf how could u :( now im gonna cry :(

#SDFJSDJSLDJFHLSJDHJS URE AWFUL #but i love u sm what theu fuck u rly did all of this #sdjfksldjakjsdhlkajh u know how long it took me to even start reading it #i rly couldnt bc usually these aus are just cutesy and not so personal???#bUT I KNEW U WOULD RLY MAKE ME A LOSER ND IM JUST CRINGING #BC YEA THATS RLY WHAT ID DO SHUT THE FUCK UPSLDFJLSKDJ #i hate this. how the fuck am i supposed to go on with my life now :/#@at ck this could be literally us but u playing see u in london u better fucking step up ur game #idk what else to say this is incredible u rly are incredible #my baker bee #mutuals🌼#submission

13 notes · View notes

ocean-butch · 7 years ago

Note

1-100

1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?spotify

2. is your room messy or clean?messy as fuckkk

3. what color are your eyes?brown

4. do you like your name? why?nah, idk why i just dont

5. what is your relationship status?singlee

6. describe your personality in 3 words or less.passionate, gay and loyal

7. what color hair do you have?dark blonde

8. what kind of car do you drive? color?i cant drive yet

9. where do you shop?i dont really shop lmaoo

10. how would you describe your style?i honestly have no idea actually

11. favorite social media account.this one???

12. what size bed do you have?a small one

13. any siblings?yes, a big brother

14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?the US, bc its close to my friends and especially abby

15. favorite snapchat filter?the dog one im cliche

16. favorite makeup brand(s)i dont wear makeup

17. how many times a week do you shower?like 6 idk

18. favorite tv show?THE X FILES

19. shoe size?brazilian sizes are different from american sizes

20. how tall are you?5’5” or like 1.66

21. sandals or sneakers?sneakers

22. do you go to the gym?nope

23. describe your dream datepicnic at the beach while the sun sets and stargazing after

24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?i have 2 wallets so it depends

25. what color socks are you wearing?im not wearing socks

26. how many pillows do you sleep with?it can go from like 0 to 4

27. do you have a job? what do you do?nope just school

28. how many friends do you have?wtf idk??????????? close ones i guess like around 5

29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? this is so unspecific i have no idea

30. whats your favorite candle scent?i dont really know any candle scents

31. 3 favorite boy namesidkk luke, aaron and shawn (they are most definitely not, theyre just the only ones i can think of rn)

32. 3 favorite girl namesteresa, emily and

33. favorite actor?matthew mcfadyen

34. favorite actress?gillian anderson

35. who is your celebrity crush?halsey and a bunch of other girls

36. favorite movie?pride & prejudice (2005)

37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book?i used to but not anymore unfortunately. my faves are the mortal instruments/the infernal devices

38. money or brains?brains

39. do you have a nickname? what is it?yes, gabi

40. how many times have you been to the hospital?not many, only like to visit my dad bc hes an ophthalmologist

41. top 10 favorite songs (rn)with no specific order: cant help falling in love;sorry by halsey;friend, please by tøp;alright by keaton henson;castaway by the ready set;youngblood by 5sos;liability by lorde;small hands by keaton henson;molecules by hayley kiyoko;HNLY by hayley kiyoko

42. do you take any medications daily?nope

43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)oily

44. what is your biggest fear?to end up

45. how many kids do you want?probably 0

46. whats your go to hair style?normal idk

47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)a small apartment

48. who is your role model? i dont think i have one

49. what was the last compliment you received?i dont remember

50. what was the last text you sent?“ofc u didnt”

51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? i have no idea actually

52. what is your dream car? any pretty one idrc

53. opinion on smoking? hate it

54. do you go to college? not yet but next year!!!!

55. what is your dream job? something about music or acting

56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? suburbs

57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? not really

58. do you have freckles? I WISH

59. do you smile for pictures? sometimes

60. how many pictures do you have on your phone? a little over 1.000

61. have you ever peed in the woods? probably but i cant remember

62. do you still watch cartoons?nope

63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?ive never had wendy’s

64. Favorite dipping sauce?idk i suck at choosing things yikes

65. what do you wear to bed? sometimes an oversized shirt, sometimes nothing

66. have you ever won a spelling bee? we dont have that here

67. what are your hobbies? writing, singing, playing guitar/piano, v rarely drawing.

68. can you draw? not well

69. do you play an instrument? yes!! guitar, ukulele and piano

70. what was the last concert you saw? a festial called rock in rio

71. tea or coffee? both but coffee

72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? drinks from starbucks and donuts from dunkin donuts

73. do you want to get married? ofcccc

74. what is your crush’s first and last initial? no comments ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

76. what color looks best on you? none idk

77. do you miss anyone right now? eh not really

78. do you sleep with your door open or closed? doesnt matter

79. do you believe in ghosts? nope

80. what is your biggest pet peeve? i have no idea

81. last person you called?abby probably

82. favorite ice cream flavor? like a chocolate shavings kinda thing

83. regular oreos or golden oreos? ive never had golden oreos

84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? chocolate

85. what shirt are you wearing? im not wearing a shirt

86. what is your phone background? its a drawing of 2 girls kissing and the quote “Sweet Mother, I cannot weave— Slender Aphrodite has overcome me with longing for a girl”

87.. are you outgoing or shy? shy affff

88. do you like it when people play with your hair? who doesnt omg

89. do you like your neighbors? i dont know my neighbors ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? i do but usually at night

91. have you ever been high? nope

92. have you ever been drunk? nope

93. last thing you ate? ramen noodles

94. favorite lyrics right now. “Get distracted by my music,Think of nothing else but artI’ll write my loneliness in poems,If I can just think how to start”

95. summer or winter? winterrrr

96. day or night? night all the way

97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? usually milk, but my fave chocolate is white with cookies

98. favorite month? august bc its my bday

99. what is your zodiac signim a leo

100 who was the last person you cried in front of?probably abby i guess

#mine #answered #asks #kate

2 notes · View notes

newaesthetes · 7 years ago

Text

ok I'm gonna answer @basiilhallward‘s questions for the tag thing bc I need a Break from reading crime and punishment and there’s nothing nicer than an excuse to talk about myself

1. 5 songs you like, and what do you like about them?

brand new- soco amaretto lime. Youth! I don't know, it makes my heart swell a little, the lyrics could almost be a happy song, we’re young and it reminds me of walking in the dark when I'm tipsy after a party The front bottoms- the plan. its a nice little fuck you society song that its easy to jump around in your room to, also weirdly inspirational the world is a beautiful place and I am no longer afraid to die- Wendover. a good song, a bit Sad John lennon- imagine because you know, I'm That champaign socialist. but this was also the first song I learnt on the guitar (also the green day cover version bc that one makes me wanna start a revolution) vampire weekend- unbelievers - its fun And makes me think about god and shit 2. favourite bit of theatre you’ve seen/read/heard

you Know I love Bourne’s swan lake. The opera I saw in Verona was an Experence. In terms of straight theatre? Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are dead is always a fave

3. if you could get any job, no questions asked, no qualifications needed, what would you chose?

ah I don't know, you mean right now at this point in my life or in the future. I guess I feel like if I couldn't deal with the questions and qualifications side of a job I wouldn't be ready to actually.... do it. idk, I guess id love to go into research. 4. someone you want to talk to again? i never want to talk to anyone lol. idk a few months ago i had a rather difficult conversation with one of my friends and we’ve grown apart since and i think I'm almost at the stage where ill want to reach out and talk to them again. but idk, if i want to talk to someone i message them, and i have a tendency to... not want to push reaching out again to people i used to be close to- the memories are there. when i was in yr 9 i remember wanting that friendship group to meet up again at the end of yr 13 to see how we’d all done but now I'm here i don't feel that desire at all really. 5. something good that happened recently!

i passed my driving test the other day which is... neat 6. pick up the nearest book and type out the 1st (few if needed) lines! do you like the book?

I'm sitting right next to my e m forster short stories so

‘My pedometer told me that I was twenty-five; and, though it is a shocking thing to stop walking, I was so tired that I sat down on a milestone to rest. People outstripped me, jeering as they did so, and even when Miss Eliza Dimbleby, the great educationalist, swept past, exhorting me to persevere, I only smiled and raised my hat’ (that's the start of The Other Side of the Hedge)

yeah I like this book! ive only read three of the stories but they've been good so far, I'm keeping the rest for uni bc I find it better to read short stories than novels when I'm busy.

i actually wrote half of the answers to these questions yesterday including the above one and i thought id check out the book beside me today which is my Sylvia Plath journals. it begins ‘july 1950- i may never be happy, but tonight i am content’ and i thought that was worth writing here. i tried to read all the jounals a number of years ago but gave up half way. putting aside the weirdness of reading someone’s diary, its an incredible read. she was fascinating. 7. do you believe in a higher power or a God?

no. Well, sometimes but not really. I am fully ready to accept the possibility that there is a God, I'm a bit of a classic agnostic in that I think its absurd to think anyone can Know either way. And sometimes I do rather fall back on the idea, and I Do have an affiliation with the Christian god. But in terms of true belief, in terms of faith, no. 8. a choice you wish you could have done differently

I don't have any specific regrets, there are some things ive done or said at various points (or not done or said) where life would be better if I had acted differently. But I’ve recently succumbed to the belief that the way we act is the only way we could have acted. I’ve acted the way I thought best at the time at any given point. I also think ive learned from every mistake ive made, if I avoided making it at one point I'm sure I would have made it again later. and I'm happy with where I am right now, its my choices that lead me here.

9. what brought you to tumblr in the beginning?

idk, i looked on my old blog and my first post was a reblog of that tyler josep tweet telling people to stay alive or smth. i was emo and sad and questioning my sexuality and from what i heard tumblr was the best place for being all of those things 10. somewhere you’ve never been and want to see?

Up to a month ago I would have said Florence but ive been there now :’) so next on my holiday pining list is probably st pertersburg, might take a few years.

11. what are you most proud of?

how far ive come in the last 2 years in terms of my self confidence. less abstractly, i independently researched and wrote an essay and presentation last year on art history and art theory and i put a lot of effort in and it was good

1 note · View note

sundrenched-smilez · 7 years ago

Note

odd numbers for the lesbian asks! (if it's too many just do every 4th one maybe?)

1. Femme or butch?

for type, im vry easily wooed by butches tbh

as for myself, im genderfluid + heavily lean towards butch-ish for one gender + have been gettin more comf w that term for myself. the 3 genders i switch between, ive described as sharp, dainty and tired, for reason of not really being comf w gender labels aside from nonbinary. sharp/tired r kinda butchish, moreso sharp. like leather jackets, ripped jeans, dress pants/shirts, defs flannels (which r a given for any mood im in tbh) while tired is like mb softer, more focused on flannels + loose tank tops/shirts, shorts + certain skirts, comfy clothes, and the like

ive found that i’m leaning more towards butch lately too, like i’ve been a lot more comfortable with pants and a nice top than i have w dresses or most skirts + im wondering if i was just hanging on to femininity for sake of society, so those r things 2 think abt. i still feel comf in them sometimes, but it’s getting much less often. gender’s weird, i still cant cling to one bc of how pressuring that is so genderfluidity is still smth for me + it shifting to different percentages is okay (im thinking out loud @ this point, but its helping so i hope its interesting to read)

3. Plaid button-ups or leather jackets?

both, but primarily flannels/plaid buttion-ups

5. Describe your aesthetic

aaahh theres a lot of diff aesthetics i could go into, but i have a tag if ur interested in a visual representation? basically, cosy homes, forests, wooden steps and bridges, cats, girls/nbs, water, plants, and old video game stuff, and clouds/skies. i’m sure there’s more in there, but for a good rule of thumb !! as for like dressing aesthetic, i like to look rly gay + attractive and a lil showy? like my shorts r Short and i love crop tops + a lot of my shirts show my bra thru them, + i like showing it when i can, like sports bra + a tank top is a fav look of mine bc i can make it look like my bra is a trim on the shirt + it’s cute. i’ve been wearing dresses less often, but occasionally, i like to rock one. id love a pair of combat boots but i have like size 11/12 feet + most stores dont carry that size + im hesitant to buy some online.

7. Favorite pair of shoes?

its rly hard to find any, i have like walmart converse knockoffs atm + theyre a beige/grey color im not that huge on, it kinda reminds me of sandalwood but depressed

9. Any haircut goals for the future?

there was the undercut!! and i have that down now c: next step is to dye it blue and mb some purple. i wanna bleach it if i’m gonna dye it, but im hesitant to do that bc of how damaging it is, but since my hair’s been cut a cpl time almost all the color is out now, so i think itll b ok if i take good care of it.

11. Describe the worst date you’ve been on

i went to a cafe w someone (i think they were nb but i cant remember, it was like 2 yrs ago about ) and they were impossible to talk to bc they just kept saying “im awkward sorry” @ everything and like any conversations i tried to maintain were all one-shot responses, and like that was a lil frustrating. like i dont hold it against them or anything, more in a sense of i was rly tryin 2 carry it and just couldnt

13. If taken, talk about your girlfriend/wife!

whooh i wish i was taken, i need affection + to b cute w someone

15. Describe your dream wedding

hmmmm i havent thought much about it !! i know when i was younger i wanted to wear a black wedding dress but now im thinkin mb a suit that switches to dress @ the bottom?? that could b cool. I’d be happy w anything tbh, if im getting married, i’d just b happy to be w my wife/spouse. mb somewhere in a forest or on a boat would b cool, defs lots of good food and colorful flowers. I’d like a lot of color, most weddings ive been to are just b/w and bland for my taste (they’ve also all been straight tho so theres that.) it’s kind of wild to think that i might b married someday, but it’d b rly nice. i just haven’t thought much abt the planning of one. it’d b rly gay tho, probs give out tiny gay flags at each seat, and the cake could b lesbian flag colors. im rly drawing a blank on this, but i know id want all my friends around the country + world to be there.

17. If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live?

i definitely want to live in a port town at some point !! idk where i’d like to settle down, ideally somewhere that doesnt get much hotter than 90 degrees + has lots of parks + is big enough for some events, like pride stuff, little festivals, a farmer’s market, and places to do things, such as a movie theater, bowling alley, mb an aquarium, if not one in a nearby town. hiking trails r also good.

19. Favorite lesbian novel/story?

on a sunbeam!!! its a huge inspiration for me, and i love it so much. it always puts me in such a good mindset when i read it, and the artist is my age, so it makes me feel like I can also accomplish great things if i rly put my heart into it!! which is such a good feeling, and it has great representation + characters that i love, and its rly gay, and in space and theres ships shaped like fish + its gorgeous : D i could go on for hrs abt it + how important it is to me. theres an nb character too, and like the aspect of found families is one that rly hits home and it helped me get thru a rough time of my life + better accept myself as queer/gay.

21. Favorite lesbian musician?

adult mom (tho i think they’re bi but still gay), or hayley kiyoko

23. Ever been assumed to be nothing more than a gal pal?

i think so, but i can’t place when, it’s been a bit.

25. Be positive! What do you like most about being a lesbian?

talking abt being gay w other girls/nbs is lovely and cathartic, i never got to growing up bc i lived in a homophobic town + i was like dealing heavily with internalized homophobia and body/gender dysphoria so i was ace for a bit. talking more abt like sexual attraction + aesthetic attraction is new to me, and that’s been a process to get to, but it’s nice that I can now do so w/o being belittled or barraged by insult. i also just love the thought of being w someone, and daydreaming abt when that happens is really nice. also,, girls + nbs r a blessing and brighten my day and im so glad im attracted 2 them

27. Turn ons?

absolutely communication, that’s a need. i had a bad experience w someone bc she wasn’t communicative at all, and failed to tell me that we weren’t dating despite us going on several dates + kissing??? like i wont go too into it, but hatchi matchi it was a mess. so yeah, communication, affection, and like reassurance that they actually want to be with me, and that my presence is wanted and enjoyed. I got a lot of “i dont care”s for answers last sort-of relationship, and that was rly discouraging. another turn on is for them to initiate talking and things, like holding hands or planning to hang out + such. consent is another big one.

29. Do you usually ask other women out or do you wait for them to ask you?

i usually tend to ask them out, but im still dealing w internalized junk, so its difficult. i also havent any situations in which they liked me back, which is frustrating. like i got lead on earlier summer for abt a month until i asked what we were doing + didnt rly get an answer, and it was this whole mess. i generally try to make the first move tho, bc i know firsthand how difficult it is, but that being said, it’s still hard for me to know for sure if theyre interested + i dont wanna make things uncomf w them, so i’ll wait until i think there might b attraction. that being said, once that’s all out of the way, i like to consider myself a good flirt when im trying.

31. Talk about your interests or hobbies!

i have lots of interests!! im obsessed w steven universe, its my fav show (and if u ever have time, we should totally watch it together sometime, i rly think you’d love it, it’s super gay + heartwarming.) i really love playing music and learning new songs, which im rly great at memorizing. talking to friends + gettin 2 know them better is always nice and fun. i like to draw new things + see the different ways ppl draw, so seeing art on here is always fun for me. i’m also rly into polygon videos (it’s a youtube channel, not like videos abt polygon haha) and this podcast called the adventure zone. season one just ended, so i might start listening to another one called friends at the table. i rly wanna start a podcast w someone, but can never find anyone to start it with. idk what I’d talk abt but if i could find a partner for it, i think it’d be a lot of fun. mb smth abt games or books/queer representation in media. doing a dnd podcast would also b rly fun, but a lot of work + editing so mb later down the road !! im blanking on other interests atm, but animations and cartoons r lovely and i aim to make something in that field one day, if not just a comic.

my hobbies r mostlyyyy drawing, dnd things now every thursday, hanging w my friends, playing video games, sometimes writing (i rly wanna start a comic, and im tryin to get my butt into gear on it), goin to parks, listening to music, and goin 2 events w roe + cesar, two of my friends. sometimes ill play music!! i need to get more than the keyboard i’m lending, but i love performing. ill also watch leg birds on youtube, theyre a lesbian couple that plays gams + theyre rly sweet.

33. Do you love easily or does it take time for you to warm up to someone?

its easy for me to love friends, doesnt usu take me more than a few months of knowing them if were talking a lot. as for falling in love, that takes me a lot longer. ive never rly been in love w someone. i thought i was once, but rly it was just my first gay experience w someone and i wanted it to be perfect so i projected a lot of things + made it better than it seemed to myself for the duration of it, which wasn’t healthy, so i wanna avoid doing that again, + take things slower next time. or at least for what they are.

35. Ever fallen for a straight girl?

a few times, they were just crushes tho, so it wasnt too too bad

37. Favorite comfort food?

hot cocoa or tea. as for food food, i dont think i have one. mb french toast or cinnamon rolls.

39. Vegetarian? Vegan? None of the above?

i used to be a vegetarian!! for like a yr, but it was difficult for me to eat and feel full, and i was pretty underweight, so i stopped.

41. Early-riser or night-owl?

both, i tend to stay up, but getting up early can be nice if i dont have to do anything. like just gently waking + making some tea and a nice breakfast + sittin around for a bit.

43. What is your Myers-Briggs type?

enfp-a

45. At what age did you know you were a lesbian?

i think like 16-17? it took me a bit to get words for identity, like lesbian/nonbinary and the like, but i always knew, like id call myself an individual as opposed to gendered terms that i was referred to, and always felt rly yucky w deadname + the wrong pronouns

47. Are you crushing on anyone at the moment (celebrity or otherwise)?

ive got one crush atm !! and another person who seems nice, but i wanna hang out w before like thinking abt a crush (im poly, which perhaps goes w/o saying, but i always like to state it when talking abt these things, jic )

49. Talk about your dreams/aspirations for the future

i’d like a partner or two, to get some bongos- i got to play some a couple weeks ago, and it was the most fun i’ve had playing anything!! having smth with an instant response that i could make up rhythms with was really rewarding and so much fun. i know i want a cat at some point, to go on cute dates + cuddle and kiss a lot w someone, to visit my friends in other places, dye my hair, get a better job, to travel a bit, make a comic, go to college for animation and storyboarding, mb go to camp at some point, and I’d like to make some more friends here, i’m already making some, which i’m super happy about, but it’s always nice meeting new ppl

thank u for asking!! this was relaxing + fun, and a lot of the topics were cathartic to talk about, and i needed it. so thanks for listening too kinda

also im queen of commas, i’ve discovered while typing this

#msg in a bottle #cass charts #idk what i want my ask tag to be

1 note · View note

threadsoftheeasternseas · 8 years ago

Text

unrelated but important (?) prsnl post interrupting the queue

gonna keep this short prior to the read more thingymajig but i’m going through some stuff personally and I need to write it down and it’s ofc nothing to do with sims but a whole lot to do with me and I feel like I’ll feel better if I write this down. feel free to skip over this and ignore any form of feelings outside of my pixelated people.

[trigger warning: death/suicide/self-harm]

today and tomorrow (may 10th/11th) marks the four year anniversary since I tried (and almost succeeded) to commit suicide. it is a very surreal week for me to go through the past couple of years, and the distance of time from said event does not change the fact that it happened.

I apologise for the detail i’m about to go into but I feel it is needed for context of how bad my situation had got. (I know I do not need to justify my feelings and my mental health but I am going to explain anyway).

I was in my first year of university, 250 miles away from home, and I felt like absolute hell. I’d made a few friends in my hall, but obviously, this is May, I hadn’t known anyone for more than a handful of months, and talking about my mental health was a difficult thing for me to process. I’d only really mentioned I had a diagnosis of depression to a couple of the girls and they’d been as helpful as they could, given that sort of social situation. I’d let university life get the better of me during my first year. I went out drinking until I could barely walk 4 or 5 times a week, and I’d sleep with pretty much any guy that paid me attention. One guy I met during my first week was a very on-off friends-with-benefits kinda situation, except I wanted more and he wanted less. I spent the whole time at university trying to get away from the toxicity of this relationship and consistently getting drawn back in, to the point it ruined friendships I will never regain.

By May I was in a state of sort-of seeing someone else, but it was quite casual. I’d told him I wanted us to be a “thing” but he was quite happy to keep sleeping with other people as well (story of my life) and one night when he saw I’d texted previous week-one twat that I never stopped going back to drunkenly, he got mad and we fought and whatever chance we had of becoming something solid shattered in a matter of minutes. It felt so unfair. He was allowed to hurt me and go off with other girls, so why wasn’t the openness he wanted allowed to be the same case on my side?

I never planned to do anything with week-one guy, I think all I’d done was ask if he’d got home safe (forever the mother hen). Who knows. All I know is that this argument sent me over the edge.

I’ve felt like shit about myself pretty much constantly since the age of 14 when I found my mum screaming about wanting to kill herself and then having a go at me for not being there for her when I’d run off terrified to call my best friend for advice.

Needless to say my mum doesn’t recall this period of our lives. (She’s in a much better place now - and she has been for a while. I can’t remember what was going on but I think she had just hit a low. She never did hurt herself nor really intended to, and she’s doing fine now.)

I’ve always been shy and less-than-confident of my own abilities, but this was the start of Literal Hell. I spent my last couple of years at school wasting away to the point that about 7 different people in one day asked if I was alright because I had begun to look rather grey-coloured. I was sleeping about 3 hours a night and eating one meal a day.

Things got steadily worse and then better and then worse and slightly better then worse then even worser after that (is worser a word? idk).

I know this is all over the place but I need to write this down. Props to you if you’ve got this far.

BACK TO THE STORY. After argument with said sorta-seeing-but-not guy, I took myself back to my room. (key point here: I was pretty hammered. The clubs around my uni sold very cheap drinks (the north of england is great for that), and I was still in my first year phase of drinking so much I couldn’t see).

All I can kind of remember in that moment was that I felt like such a waste of space; that all I did was hurt the people I cared about, that I didn’t matter, that everyone would be better off without me.

I’d somehow become mildly addicted to painkillers over the year, without really realising, and in my darkest moment, I took a huge overdose. 51 painkillers to be exact. (Who knows why I had that many anyway). All I could think was I didn’t want to be alive any more. I didn’t want to wake up the next morning. I didn’t want to ever have to wake up again.

I spent the next day vomiting my guts up as my body desperately tried to get rid of the damage I’d already done to myself.

It was around 4pm when I had finally not vomited for about an hour and decided that maybe I should go take myself to hospital and see someone.

I will never be more grateful for something I’ve done for myself than this in my entire life.

When I got to A&E and awkwardly explained I’d had an overdose and needed to speak to someone, I got seen pretty quickly. Turns out 51 tablets that all contained paracetemol and half of them also with codeine, I was a pretty high priority case.

I spent the next five days hooked up to an IV having medication to stop my liver from failing, and blood taken every hour. I vomited for six hours straight that first night. But I knew that deep down, no matter how awful I felt, I’d made the right decision to go there.

Nothing will ever be as hard as finding the strength to call my parents in the middle of the night to tell them what I’d done and where I was. Nothing will ever prepare you for how broken that makes you feel. Or when your mum arrives the next day, hotel and travel booked as soon as she could and time taken off work and tears streaming down her face. I will never forget the look on her face when she saw me in that hospital bed that day.

The nurses told me if I’d come to the hospital a few hours later that my liver wouldn’t have made it. I would’ve succeeded. My whole body would’ve shut down soon after. I would’ve died.

I had to find the strength to talk to crisis team therapists and tell my flatmates what I’d done and why I wouldn’t be around for a few days, and then trying to tell university why I needed mitigating circumstances to take an exam at a later date because sorry but I’m in a hospital bed in pyjamas that smell like vomit that I haven’t changed out of in a week.

I’ve gone on a really long-winded way of telling this story, but the point is: today and tomorrow mark the four year anniversary of this happening. It’s painful to think that I still feel like this sometimes, but it’s also encouraging to know I haven’t stooped that low since. I’ve been close, many times. But I haven’t fallen back down that road again.

I may not feel stronger, but I know I am. I’ve found the strength to talk about my mental health, instead of covering it up. I barely drink any more, and I will only take painkillers if I’m suffering from a migraine. I haven’t cut myself in two years.

I’m proud of how far I’ve come but also of how far I am also willing to let myself go. I know I will fight this, even if I spend the rest of my life doing so.

thank you for reading if you read this whole way and please, someone be crying too because I sure as hell am

#non sims #personal

4 notes · View notes