#jesus christ sorry for the infodump

[tuxedokit]

Tell me everything about Della Duck 👀

ILL TRY MY BEST BUT I WILL MOST CERTAINLY NOT SUCCEED!!!!! SHE IS SO COMPLEX AND VAST AND I wanna kiss her on he mouth I MEAN WHAT WHO SAID THAT

ok SO!!!! heres the tuxsys / luna infodumps about della duck post!!! this is my interpretation, uhhh yeah lets go

shes donald ducks twin sister, and mother of huey, dewey and louie duck. she is described as persustent, headstrong, bold... she would never let people tell her she couldnt do ghings just cause shes a girl. shes a pilot as well

shes not present in her sons lives, at least up until their canon ages of roughly 10 years old. in the older canons, it is simply left there, however eventually in one comic it was expanded upon and revealed that she is on the moon! i believe in this continuity she has no idea 10 years have passed, and is shown in one to only believe herself to have been away for 15 minutes. truly tragic, considering no one has the heart to tell her.

in ducktales 2017, thats where my expertise shines cause my autism show, she haunts the narrative for the entire 1st season, and is presumed to be dead. at the end of the season, it is revealed that her disappearance caused a major rift in scrooge and donalds relationship, with them going no contact from before the boys hatch up until the shows pilot. also, like before, shes on the moon. idk why im talking so formally.

the second season we finally get to meet della and she fucking rules. she reminds me of my mom personality wise, which computes to me as that is a woman who never got an adhd or autism diagnosis and very likely needed one. shes silly, shes brave, shes impulsive, shes reckless. she learned her uncle was making her a surprise rocket ship and stole it for a joyride before it was done. roughly a week before her kids hatched. i have thoughts about that, but thats for later or maybe another ask.

ANYWAY. evidently, stealing an unfinished rocket ship is a Bad Idea; it gets swept up in a cosmis storm and she crashes on the moon. her leg is pinned under some debris of her ship, and she is forced to amputate it. keep in mind she is Completely Alone. then she spends the next ten years, still alone, slowly trying to find a way home to her kids. she has a picture of her, scrooge, donald and the eggs taped up the the wall and she drew what she thinks her kids might look like on the back of it. she went from building SOS signs to trying to rebuild the ship herself (teaching herself ROCKET SCIENCE in the process)

shes in rhe final stretch and then she meets moon aliens who have been here the whole time and also have a thriving society and all the materials she would need to rebuild her ship. because of course theyve been right there the whole time. sure. ten years of solitude and theres been guys here the whole time. at least one of them is a hot butch like twice her height?

the moonlanders help her rebuild her ship and she finally gets to go home and see her family. donald is sent away until the finale because they dont want me to be happy /j fr tho the twins reunion was underwhelming but its wtv i can cope

the reunion of della and scrooge is magnificent though!! along with her meeting her kids <333 they spend a few scattered episodes briefly exploring how she missed so much of their lives and ultimately doesnt know how to be a mom, but theyre a family and theyll work to figure it out. they make like... 2 brief nods to how she spent a decade alone on the moon, but judging by the appearances of younger della in flashback stories, it seems as if shes nearly completely unaffected (i call bullshit but wtv. ill write it myself)

uhhh yeah! theres a LOT of details i didnt touch on this is just a brief synopsis

ALSO!!!! i think shes an aromantic lesbian AND shes my wife bc wheeeee

[ojbrush]

I dont have motivation to draw but you know what i do have? Ranting about OJ headcanons!

Hi gang i lobe OJ inanimate insanity and here are some in depth headcanons i have and imade sure to research alot about certain things but if i get asnything wrong that is on me and i aspologise OKAY!!!! GIGGLE OJ has Dyscalculia, BPD, and is autistic :3 Dyscalculia is a math learning disability that impairs an individual's ability to learn number-related concepts, perform accurate math calculations, reason and problem solve and preform OTHER!! basic math skills!!! >_< this is just a silly headcanon that may just be projection because i miighhtt have this myself!?!?! but not too sure maybe i just suck at math. WITH AUTISM . this guy does not get social cues, does NOT enjoy change. it makes him anxious, as shown a few times iirc. He gets obsessed with stuff and really never truly stops. Probably one reason why he works so much is because he gets so obsessed with working with stuff that he just doesnt stopo !!! He's also insanely impulsive. although he is a little mature he mainly doesnt think before he speaks, plus he gets very angry over the littlest of things which brings inn!!! BPD!!!! THIS GUY.. as shown in the show multiple times, he has terrible abandonment issues and tries so hard to make sure NOBODY leaves him again. the thought absolutely terrifies him. Despite getting so insanely angry over things (a recent example is when he and paintbrush fought in season 3 episode 4) and having awful and shaky relationships with others.. which causes people to leave him / abandon him. He also has impulsive and risky behaviours (which also ties into his autism traits) such as ALSO ruining okay relationships because of sometjing he thought of someone, thinking they are bad and will hurt him.

(Plus, even better, the hotel OJ canonically has had a casino OJ created!! which could also tie into the impulsive and risky behaviors with gambling!!) what ties with the fact he has intense anger, is also shown with the amount of times hes actually HAD a fight with someone in the show. let it be Bomb, Paintbrush, Paper. Sometimes it can get quite physical!!!

Which also brings us with Taco, since shes a whole thing with this guy. Despite him not being directly effected by her, She still tried to steal HIS prize!! He didnt like that. He got angry with that. he didnt truly show it, but we can tell he did. since everytime Taco is mentioned within his vicinity he gets pretty angry. This could tie with this symptom of bpd since he did, slightly like Taco before it all. Although thinking she was a little stupid, and useless. But this believing Taco is cruel, or doesnt care at all, has lasted over 12 years. So its more of a longtime thing. Which is also something with bpd, having a long time, long lasting hatred, angry, or just a strong emotion about something or someone. or nothing at all!!

Oh and by the way, this guy has a HORRIBLE time keeping good relationships, they usually end because of something he thought of someone. Such as Bombs "betrayal" in season 1, and he thought Bomb was horrible and hated him for a time. Or trying to dump Paper because of how he thought he was going to leave him. OJ has abandonment issues, and with this, gets angry at others for trying to leave him and abandon him, when they really aren't. Or he believes they are cruel and they do not give a shit about him or anyone's well being and tries to just. not associate with them, but he does eventually get them back. Well, sometimes atleast!!! also, to add onto Autistic traits HE GETS ANXIOUS AND UNEASY AROUND FIGHTS WITH OTHER PEOPLE / YELLING / LOUD NOISES !! as seen with the scene where EVERYONE is fighting in episode 1 season 3!!!

And although it could be because hes glass and easily broken, he gets scared when someone raised their voice at him, and looks as if they are going to attack him. But he also gets angry, and starts to fight back. maybe as a defense mechanism but whoo knows! (Note; this one may just be a headcanon, nothing in the show really suggests this but it is also pretty likely he WOULD do this!! he does have a history of snapping back at others and arguing with them if he feels threatened) also i would like to mention his constant state of worry about not being able to work. When he went to season 3 because he was invited, it is implied he rarely ever takes vacations / breaks from working. he says "I'm not too sure im on board with this vacay...--vacayggayu. AUGHj." (he doesnt even know how to say the word!) this could tie into obsessive behaviours?!?!? and if we think about it, it causes him excessive stress and worry. Anxiety about leaving the hotel to a different caretaker while hes on his break. Which he BARELY ever takes, mind you. Autism, and bpd symptoms in themself. He also has a lack of fear, but when something becomes too overwhelming he may overreact and have more fear than usual / expected of him. So yeah!!! little OJ thing, this is just because im insane about this guy. uhhh somethings may be inaccurate but hey, im just having fun and making reallyyy in-depth headcanons about a fictional juice, so. Happy days!

[a-concert-just-for-me]

Me frantically explaining every detail of our trip plan to my friend who says it’s okay if we just want to “play things by ear”

[kits-ships]

kit, it feels like its been too long. can u give us some lore drop about your inserts/self ships?

HI DIAMOND!!!!!!!! sorry for my lack of presence on here. brain hasnt been working

edit: JESUS CHRIST IM SO SORRY. YOU ASKED ME FOR A LORE DROP AND I GAVE THE LONGEST INFODUMP EVER

i hate to do it, but i feel the need to talk about holly..... MCU HOLLY...

TRIGGER WARNINGS FOR MARVEL-TYPICAL VIOLENCE, HOLLY'S TERRIBLE MENTAL HEALTH AND SELF-HATRED, MESSY RELATIONSHIP DRAMA, MENTIONS OF BLOOD- its all jsut a mess

holly was all i thought about during 2022; mostly because i was still dealing with the after effects of quarantine + also college. she was also all i posted about for a while on my now-dead instagram!!! whether you ask my roommate, my old coworkers, my HUSBAND???- HOLLY AND HER BOYFRIENDS WERE SUCH A HUGE HYPERFIXATION THAT EVEN MY MOM KNOWS ABOUT HER

now. what about holly was so interesting to me?? yeah shes my spidersona and everything, but shes not like. spectacular when compared to other spider-people per say. id say she has a heightened healing factor when compared others i guess, and shes pretty op when it comes to her agility skills, but shes still just a gal!

the real thing that had me hooked on her character and her relationships was that they were MESSY. GOOD GOD THEY WERE MESSY.

most of her character development is meant to happen during the nmcu daredevil series, and BOY does she suffer. honestly, season one was great. she teams up with matt a few times, and eventually agrees to help him take down fisk. throughout the season, she falls for him, and is pretty satisfied by the intimate, yet non-romantic bond they share. she finds herself intentionally taking hits for him- knowing that she can handle a lot more bodily damage than matt can- and shes led to believe that he likes her too!! they bandage each other up, get lunch together now and again, and everything is great :3

until season two.

one night, both holly and matt are unintentionally caught by the punisher. and BOY does the punisher have some shit to say. here, holly hears him out and realizes that she may have been following matt a bit blindly. matt is very firm in his morals- no killing, he helps cops, and he seems to believe in salvation. maybe thats why holly likes him. shes always wanted a second chance. something that would make her feel like she isnt just a sad, pathetic teenager

she realizes that her and matt are different. that maybe matt isnt always right. it kinda kills the honeymoon phase that shed been stuck in for so long. this guy shes idolized in her head is kinda full of himself. hes hot and he knows it!! and he does kinda act holier than thou now and again! but holly? holly isnt religious. she hates cops. and, worst of all, she doesnt think second chances are always possible. (keep that in mind lads)

she also emphasizes with frank, and he knows it. the punisher comments on the relationship between her and matt, noticing how tense and quiet holly is being. "whats wrong, blue? he treat you the same? like he'll always be better than you?" she stays quiet and, when he finally frees them, holly leaves. she doesnt help matt fight the gang coming to kill him, nor does she just swing him to safety. her brain is short-circuiting.

enter elektra. matt begins cancelling hang outs with holly, stops talking to her as much, and is, overall, pulling away from her. understandably, holly asks if its about elektra or karen and- of course- matt denies this. after seeing him kiSS elektra, though, holly feels as if hes throwing out everything they had together. its like the 'you vs the girl he tells you not to worry about" except the other girl is a MURDERER?? holly is pissed. now, she knows she wasnt entitled to a relationship with him, but shes still hurt after all the blood, sweat, and tears she put into their friendship / partnership. matt finally calls her, trying to let her down gently, but they end up arguing and holly hangs up on his ass hjkgf. NEITHER of them can handle stress, clearly, and the elektra/frank one-two is TOO much for them

although matt expected holly to eventually cool down, that was not in the plans. to his horror, holly actually AIDS the punisher. she brings him food, gets information for him, and does whatever the fuck she wants until the defenders series

understandably, frank goes under the radar, and holly is left on her own. she watches whatever the fuck is happening in the defenders, and is trying to decide whether or not she wants to help when a BUILDING COLLPASES. AND FOGGY CALLS HER TO TELL HER MATT FUCKIN DIED.

JEEZ.

at this point, holly's mental health has been stretched thin. this girl had already gone through three mental crisis before her first 'canon' appearance, so all this stress has been weighing her HEAVILY on her. she misses having someone to work with. frank is gone. matt is gone. the sokovia accords make her a wanted criminal AND shit is getting worse with every month. theres also another spider person in the picture, and hes backed by stark technology!! how the hell is she supposed to compare to him? shes just holly! holly holly holly! and you know what holly is, besides inferior to this new guy on the scene? holly is alone! she doesnt have friends. she hates nyc. and everyone shes ever loved is GONE!!

one night, while out on patrol, she finds herself watching researchers moving their equipment into trucks and airplanes. theyre moving, apparently! luckily, no one attacks the scientists. one of them drops something, sure, but thats fine, right? no. holly goes to inspect the broken glass, and the green liquid that had spilled onto the asphalt comes to life, seeping into her skin and binding with her.

this is malice.

malice doesn't exactly explain what it is to holly; it just promises her power. now she'll be able to keep up with all these big name heroes, and can keep protecting her city no matter what comes her way. what the symbiote DOESNT explain, however, is the fact that shes both slowly killing holly AND manipulating her. malice uses her anger and loneliness and converts it into an indescribable rage. she stops pulling her punches. she blacks out as soon as the sun goes down, and wakes up the next morning with blood on her hands and suit.

after a few weeks, she looks at herself in the mirror and, despite her healing factor, she finds someone sickly looking back at her. holly's hair is thinning, her skin is turning yellow, her eyes are turning green, and there are huge, black splotches spreading across her body.

she is dying. malice is using everything holly has to satiate its hunger, and doesnt give a fuck about the effects its having on its host. worse case scenario, theyre in new york! malice can find some other sad vigilante once holly dies.

but holly doesnt lay down and die!!!!!! she goes through newspapers, searching for anything that can help her, and eventually lands on doctor stephen strange. surely he can help, right? he's a weird, magical doctor that does crazy, otherworldly shit. if anyone can do something, its him.

and so, she pulls herself up by her bootstraps, and limps her way to the sanctum sanctorum, where the sorcerer supreme exorcises the symbiote from her body using FIRE!!! this way, malice isn't just contained, malice is DEAD. and holly gets to live!!! yay!! she can go back to living her life and being happy, right?

NO!!!!!

MATT IS ALIVE AND THERES SOME GUY IMPERSONATING HIM!!!!!! YOU KNOW HIM, RIGHT HOLLY? THE GUY WHO BROKE YOUR HEART? THE GUY THAT THE ALIEN IN YOUR HEAD WOULDNT LET YOU FORGET? HAVE YOU GONE THROUGH ENOUGH TRAUMATIC EVENTS YET??? GET FUCKED!!!

cut to my dear, stubborn holly forcing herself to tolerate matt again. at this point, she finds him insufferable (and hot, still, but mostly insufferable), and is continuing to struggle with her emotions towards him. nonetheless, she keeps as much distance from him as possible, but helps him defeat fisk + dex. now, with them out of the way, she couldve gotten back with matt, right? that, or she could find frank and team-up with him. no. holly doesnt do any of that. she doesnt even flirt with her pen pal, eddie brock, who she's been talking to regarding their mutual symbiote experiences. holly just stays in new york. miserable, self-hating, and full of regret. despite being a hero, she still feels like shes fucked up her whole life.

then the snap happens. hollys only two friends seemingly die and the world feels terribly bleak. even after everyone is revived, nothing feels the same. how is she supposed to recover from all this shit? how does she pick everything back up and move on??? shes a mutate, sure, but shes also a reclusive, mentally ill mess. life is bad, and she's not contributing much to society anymore. how is she supposed to help people now? shes not captain america. shes not iron man. she feels miserable.

...

...

knock knock!

who's there?

it's the tva! we'd like your help with something, miss miller! ^w^

we've recently noticed just how pathetic you are, ma'am. it seems like a real waste of your powers! how would you like to team up with a particular red-suited superhero and help us protect the sacred timeline? it'll give you a sense of purpose!

oh, the other guy? yeah! he goes by deadpool! you'll like him. maybe.

understandably, holly is kinda confused. she knew aliens and shit existed, but what the fuck is the sacred timeline?? dimensions?! what the hell is going on?? desperate for anything that'll prove that shes not useless, she accepts the deal and eventually meets wade wilson. and good god is he annoying. imagine spideypool, spiderman has forgotten to take his lexapro for a few days. holly is pretty fuckin annoyed, but surprisingly takes his side when paradox announces that he's going to destroy wade's universe. yeah, she has no real stake in this conflict. but paradox is cocky and pisses holly off.

cut to her, wade, and logan stuck in the void. they look like a set of fingerpaints when they stand together. holly tries to prevent the two guys from fighting, but she can't separate them; her healing factor CANNOT deal with all these fucking blades. especially not after she had to deal with nobu and THIS thing

she has been filleted like a fish once, and respectfully sits out during any fighting between them. that, or she webs them up. unfortunately, she cant really protect herself when cassandra's gang pull out a huge magnet + both wade and logan pin her to it- smushing the trio.

back at their little headquarters, cassandra explores holly's mind, going through the layers of trauma this girl keeps folding up and hiding in the recesses of her brain. she mocks holly for letting a man hold so much power over her, and degrades her for being so useless in the grand scheme of things. she's fumbled every relationship she's tried to maintain, and, even though holly's powers were the only thing that kept her going, the other woman claims that they'll never be enough. wade, logan, and holly suddenly look AND feel like the biggest fucking losers in the world, and proceed to beat the fuck out of each other in a honda odyssey.

upon waking up in a random 'house', holly proceeds to watch logan drown his sorrows as she thinks about everything shes ever done wrong.

just as wade wakes up, GUESS WHO WALKS IN? ELEKTRA. Not HER elektra, BUT ITS STILL ELEKTRA. holly begins to spiral more than before, remaining quiet and shocked for the entirety of the conversation. the only thing that pulls her out of it for a moment is blade saying a slur + remy flustering her.

things pick up a bit from here. even though holly is losing it, the fact that shes part of a little team helps with her psyche. she also starts breaking the fourth wall a bit more + is a bit more sarcastic than she'd ever been (much how i expect a comic version of her would be.) theres a lot more spider-person typical quips coming from her!!

holly honestly expects to die during the big fight. she thinks that shes at the end of her story- she's run her course like elektra and blade- but a combination of her spider-sense and logan dont let her die.

cassandra tries to butter her up like she does to logan. like oh..... wades an annoying prick.. imagine the power we could have together....... but holly is sick of listening to other people and having them lead her. she'd been doing that for so fuckin long!!!!! even after trying to tell her she can erase the piles upon piles of trauma shes repressed, holly tells her to fuck off, and wade manages to finally subdue her.

theres not really much to say once they get to the time ripper scene. paradox tells them that whoever tries to stop it will die (no matter the healing factor) and holly sees this as her opportunity to make up for what she believes is her sad, little existence. after all, she thinks it makes sense for her to die. why have one of the immortal crime-fighters die when it could be her? of course, it doesnt turn out this way, and all three of them survive.

now holly happily lives with her two new friends in this new universe. hope this doesnt cause an incursion.

and they live happily ever after

maybe??

[grimmars]

Hello! Criminal Minds anon again. I saw your post and I'm so happy to see you like the show so far! Season 4 is a really good one, and the last few episodes are WILD, so good luck LOL!

I'm glad that you feel similarly about Reid, as well. He's easily my favorite in the whole show without a doubt, and I think MGG does a great job playing him. The relationship between him and his mom is just *chef's kiss* and gets me in the feels so fast (especially in the later seasons 😭). In regards to the guns thing, I hate to say it but he's kinda the show's whump character lmao. Everyone suffers, but the writers and MGG really love to hurt him specifically.

Big yes to Morgan!!! I love him so much and 100% agree. 'Profiler, Profiled' is one of the best episodes in the show and it sets him up so perfectly from that point on. Also him and Garcia are so funny on the phone I completely agree.

Hotch is really bland for a lot of the show I do have to agree, but towards the end of Season 4 and throughout Season 5 they focus on him a bit more and it helps to give him more character, I feel. He's still the same old Hotch, but you kinda understand him a bit better and feel for him a lot after these two seasons.

And yeahhh the show is not very kind to queer people, unfortunately. Even in the later seasons you can feel them trying to do better in a way, but it still just feels icky. There's one scene where Morgan is ribbing Reid about where he's been and that he hopes he was with a girl and not a guy and I just 💀. Also the entirety of 'Machismo' is god awful with the man in a dress thing. They sorta drift away from the trope near the end of the show, but it never leaves entirely, which sucks big time.

Elle was done so dirty by the writers and tbh the team!! She deserved better!! Her story is absolutely wild though so I had the same reaction on my first watch. And I 100% agree with you on Gideon. I remember when my friend who introduced me to the show told me he and Elle were going to be leaving so soon I was genuinely upset lol. Emily is wonderful, though, and Rossi grew on me overtime, so hopefully you warm up to him as well. And yes I love JJ so much. When Todd replaced her for a bit I was so upset. I kept saying the "I miss my wife, Tails" thing to my friends about JJ leaving, so now we all call her my wife lmao. And again Emily is so wonderful!! With her putting her life on the line for Reid, she's like that the whole show. She's ride or die for the team and I adore her so much. If you stick around for Season 12 and 13 (good luck if you do, because jesus christ those seasons are a bit tough) you'll see that aspect of her highlighted even more.

And good plan, honestly! Season 10 is where a lot of people feel the show should have ended, so that's a pretty good season to end on if you do. I will say if you do stop there, skip ahead to Season 11 Episode 11 'Entropy' and just watch that on it's own if you get the chance. It's easily the best episode in the show imo and it's so fun. And good news the baseball episode is early in Season 8!

Sorry for rambling I'm just really excited that you like the show, LOL!

Ayy! Hello again, I'm glad we share favourite things about criminal minds, infodumping to my brother doesn't always have the same effect lol.

I don't really hate Rossi now after watching for a bit, when he's first introduced he was giving homophobic vibes and recently he's more like the dad forced to follow his kids to pride

I'll definitely be checking out entropy after season 10, the baseball episode is so close yet so far away ;-;

[cryptid-crow-wizard]

ayo, firstly yeah other people might have it worse but your struggles are also valid. I don’t think you were meaning to say they weren’t but just saying it could be worse, but as someone who ignored their problems because other people had it worse i remind just in case. Secondly i’m not even christian but jesus fucking christ indeed. Your ex might have been traumatized but that is definitely not an excuse for treating you badly. Im glad you’re doing better now. Seriously tho you said your side was going numb and she just ignored it wtf. She definitely needs therapy to deal with her trauma but you were not responsible of helping her, you weren’t a trained professional and you definitely aren’t a punch bag she could treat badly. I hope she gets help but happy for you for getting out of that. Thirdly, about your family it’s good to hear it’s better now and you found a way to deal with your brother. i don’t know what else i can say about it. Props to you for dealing with your abusive brother and roommate, you deserve better. Lastly, hey i get it you sometimes have to dump it all out. I hyperfixated on why i am the way i am while figuring shit out and i didn’t wanted to bore my friends with the inner mechanics of my brain. It’s good to have an outlet. Not everyone will be happy to be infodumped, not everyone will have the mental space to listen at the time, sometimes people are busy with their own stuff. For this interaction tho it’s ok, i appreciate the sorry, but i don’t mind it don’t worry. the real lastly, well you did kind of entered a new life in a way. you left something toxic behind and grown into a stronger person, changed your own negative behaviors. You are doing good bud. Again, you got this

My girlfriend made me watch Our Flag Means Death so now I’m making her watch Good Omens

tag yourself who is the good omens gf and who is the our flag means death gf

[cockbiteproductions]

primed to scream PRIMES! PRIMES! PRIMES!!

f i just typed the answer to most of these questions and chrome crashed so christ i have to fucking retype all these but much condensed because i am lazy.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

chocolate bars. but only milk. my mom buys exclusively Very Dark Chocolate though so i usually just stare at those and Wish.

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

well bubblegum or cotton candy flavored stuff neither they both taste nauseating. if we’re talking about the actual stuff then bubblegum because i can pop it. this actually reminded me i have gum in the pantry from the beginning of the semester i havent even opened yet so now my roommates have you to thank for popping noises the next hr or so

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

soda bottles because i dont like to drink soda quickly and so i want to close it and not let the carbon dioxide escape. soda cans a close second because it’s satisfying to open the tab.

7. earbuds or headphones?

wired earbuds because headphones are too big and clunky and you cant easily lay on your side with headphones on. but if my next pair of earbuds break within a month i might consider Switching because ive had 3 break on me in the past month and half and im at my wits end with earbuds.

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

i dont eat much for breakfast cause i want to sleep in until the last possible moment and i get stomachaches when i eat a lot in the morning but ill eat a piece of bread and yogurt maybe.

13. lanyard or key ring?

key ring but that’s just because i havent used a lanyard before. i think i would like a lanyard. im constantly looking for my keys in bags.

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

this pair of black sandals that i have tan lines on my feet from how much ive worn them

19. sleeping position?

ill sleep however... i like sleeping on my left side. on my stomach with my head to the right. on my back with my arms crossover my chest to keep warm. at the end of the bed with my head where my feet should be. i dont move at all when i sleep so freshman year when i had a lofted bed i think my roommate was a bit concerned in the beginning when i refused a bedrail because she thought i might fall. i never fell which was nice.

23. strange habits?

oh man idk i probably have a lot of those but nothing i can think about right now when im being put on the spot.

in elementary school i used to refuse to step on the yellow tiles at school.

29. best way to bond with you?

talk to me about the stuff i love!!!! and watch the stuff i love with me!!!! i am always down to [whatever the rabb.it replacement is these days] stuff with people and just generally both yell at each other and be passionate about stuff. currently what im passionate about is the stuff im screaming over at @winstonbillions​ so talk to me about that stuff!! please. i am always 3 seconds from screaming about ANY of that stuff.

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

idk about outfits to kick ass and take names but i have outfits where i get my ass kicked and name taken aka what i wear to exams. which is my tower of pimps shirt which ive deemed lucky. is it lucky in any way? no, but i’m hoping if i wear it enough to exams it might.

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel bag. suitcases are so large and unwieldily. that reminds me i have a suitcase of winter clothes in my trunk i need to take out.

41. last person you texted?

as in actual texts on my phone? that would be my dad. asking him if i should drop my class im failing. 

as for the last person i instant messaged, that would be one of my mutuals through my musical theater sideblog im currently yelling at about [musical theater related interest]. im not kidding guys talk to me about the stuff i post about on @winstonbillions​ PLEASE

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

2 months ago i would have said hoodie but im kinda becoming a cardigan kind of person now. theyre just Soft and and Long and Casual and i love them. hoodies are too hard to take off.

47. favorite type of cheese?

mild cheddar, american, and mozzarella. i actually only Recently started cataloging cheeses in my brain to their actual names so for my entire life i was like i just like cheese even though there are certain ones i hate like swiss and blue cheese.

53. what is the current state of your hands?

a bit cold and a bit tired from typing all the answers to all these asks tbh. but other than that good. i just cut my nails because they were atrociously long. 

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

“worm” or “fuck” or “no!” according to my roommate

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

oh my ogdokh oym ogdos sd fdospohm to mo edf ucmign fugod mfyo uacant just ask me this im going to absolutely die

in absolutely no order, all from completely from memory, and favorite for a variety of different reasons

“fuck you, math man. if you’re such a genius why can’t you count to loyalty” - mafee in 4x11 lamster billions

“captain, he think, and feels that much more powerful” - luminousbeings in you don’t have to (say yes) the star trek fic

“more than you know, i understand wanting to walk away from the jedi”“i know.” - anakin skywalker and ahsoka tano in 5x12 the wrong jedi star wars the clone wars

“i won’t leave you, not this time.” “then you will die” - ahsoka tano and darth vader in 2x12 twilight of the apprentice star wars rebels

“there is nothing so pure as a man on a mission. when faced with the fire, never quivers or runs. there is nothing so noble as sticking together, for lonely is the life lead when sticking to its guns." - narrator in bloodsong of love by joe iconis

“now i’ve got myself a name and i’m ready to risk it with a battle cry disguised as a sing-along” - never heard nothing by joe iconis

“i’m frickin done with being the loser, the wuss, the underdog. being the misfit, the old school analog. being the oddball, the weakling freak. the failure, the sucker, the please-don’t-speak. oh i can’t hardly wait for the moment when i’m not the loser the geek or whatever, ever again” - jeremy heere in be more chill by joe iconis

“i’m tired of being the person that everyone thinks that i am” - various in be more chill by joe iconis

“q is for quantitative, baby!” - winston in 4x12 extreme sandbox billions

“the cheering is just as important as the song” - lisa and ms. werring in the black suits by joe iconis

“first, best destiny” - spock in star trek ii wrath of khan

“be proud of your place in the cosmos. it is small, and yet it is. how unlikely. how fantastic, and stupid. and excellent.” - cecil in welcome to night vale old oak doors part b

“are we living a life that is safe from harm? of course not. we never are. the questions is are we living a life that is worth the harm?” - cecil in welcome to night vale parade day

“as I turned and my eyes beheld you, i displayed emotion. i beg forgiveness.” - spock somewhere in star trek tos

“the sky collapsed without a sound. these broken pieces hit the ground.  the rain fell down around me and i drowned, but i will save you.” - part of me from dear evan hansen

“this is, after all, the story of how i died” - epsilon in the rvb13 trailer

“and while the law has many punishments for the atrocities we inflict on others, there are no punishments for the terrors we inflict on ourselves.” - the director in the s6 finale of red vs blue

that was in no way an exhaustive list but all i could think of at the moment

67. good luck charms?

not really any tbh. i try to wear my tower of pimps shirt whenever i take an exam but that’s about it.

71. least favorite pattern?

what does this even fucking mean?????? i will say the observer design pattern in programming because i don’t understand it well despite having used it twice now.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

oh god idk why are all these questions getting harder. nothing i can think of at the moment.

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

i say school id tentatively, but neither of them looks great. my school id photo was a selfie.

83. writing or drawing?

writing. i wish to GOD i could draw and i probably could if i put in the amount of time i need to to learn how to draw but im a lazy bastard. but i’m not that great at writing either as i’ve found out. everything is way too short and out of character and too venty and i am weird about letting people i know read what i write (sorry @ all the people who keep asking me to let them read my writing.  it’s not that great you’re not missing out at all and i hate the Mortifying Ordeal of Being Known) and i abandon ideas literal minutes after getting them.

89. who would you put before everyone else?

what the fuck kind of question is this?????? i GUESS the answer should be me but uh i am not even putting myself before myself as i am procrastinating on a shitload of homework with this. i guess my “close” friends. they’re pretty chill. but generally ill do anything for anyone all you have to do is ask.

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

4, my own, my home landline, my dad’s cell, and my dad’s work.

[mechawolfie]

binging the gk manga immediately after finishing the anime is a totally normal and healthy thing to do btw

[jonbinary-archive]

OH YEAH ALSO ... what is spg... like ik i could technically just google it but what i'm saying is pls take this as an excuse to gush/infodump/etc

[vibrates at a speed which can break glass] spg

UM! spg stands fr steam powered giraffe, nd they are a steampunk musical act tht centers around improv + robotic pantomime! basically all of the members have characters they play while onstage. founding members isabella “bunny” bennett (rabbit <3) and david michael bennett (the spine) are currently a part of the band, alongside bryan barbarin (zero). past members have included sam luke (hatchworth), jonathan sprauge (the jon), and erin burke (upgrade).

there’s also lore!!! basically the band began back in the 1800s when peter walter of walter robotics was trying to impress a Girl He Liked named deliah, so of course he made a bunch of singing robots to serenade her. thadeus becile, another man who was trying to impress her, made a giant robotic elephant for her, so walter attempted to one-up him by making a giant steam powered giraffe robot (hence the name).

after deliah passed away, becile went a Little Wild nd held a bunch of resources hostage. walter sent his robotic giraffes to war, fitting the singing automatons with weapons so they could fight as well. the walter side won, and the automatons were repurposed back to sing for audiences, which they have now done for years!

if you in any way enjoy the mechanisms, they have a similar energy (much less violence tho hehe) so i def recommend checking them out!! brass goggles is one of my favorite songs probably ever and i once laid in bed depressed as hell listening to it for a solid three hours. automatonic electronic harmonics was the first spg song i ever heard (thank u percy) nd makes me go insane in a good way. honeybee can and will cause you to experience gay yearning. and (last one i promise) malfunction is an epic win song written by bunny that is lowkey a trans anthem while also just carrying a good message about insecurities and Being Yourself.

spg is GOOD and i LIKE THEM

[three-moving]

12 and 23 for ask game bestie

hello bestie!!

12. Talk about a new friend you made this year

can i talk about 3 because they kind of all go together cool okay im gonna do that

this is going under a cut bc it got long :D

so i went into my history class this year knowing almost no one - the few people i knew i either wasn't talking at the time to or i only knew them from brief interactions in elementary. fast forward like a month and suddenly i have 3 new friends, entirely because we were told to make random groups for a project and all of us went "nope" and just sat down together.

the first one i started talking to was a guy named victor and honestly the full extent of what i know about him outside of class is he plays piano in church, likes genshin, and hates his accounting class. he's very fun to talk to and is very easy to get along with imo. he keeps calling this one issue i had my "divorce problem" and i both love and hate that.

second one was ava! she''s a couple years older than me and took the history class because it looked fun, not because she actually needed the elective. she is now regretting that bc the teacher is a very hard marker lmao. she's an absolute enigma, i kind of don't think she exists outside of class. she gives very good advice despite not being the type of person that you'd think would give good advice. i love her immensely :D

third one i like to call history guy but his name is artem. i'm friends with him because one day when ava was away he joined me and victor for a project, then decided he liked that i argued with everything he said, and stuck around to continue arguing over everything that is entirely unrelated to what we're doing in class. things were weird at first but they're good now and i like talking with him despite how much his jokes suck.

without them history would kinda suck this year so i'm very glad i get to be around them every day :]

23. If you could send a message to yourself back on the first day of the year, what would it be?

DO NOT PUT YOURSELF IN SITUATIONS WHERE YOU KNOW YOU'RE GOING TO BE UNCOMFORTABLE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST YOU ABSOLUTE IDIOT

ALSO STOP BEING SAD OVER PROBLEMS YOU HAVE CAUSED AND JUST DEAL WITH THEM. GO HAVE THE UNCOMFORTABLE CONVERSATIONS AND STOP BEING A BITCH

ty for asking silver sorry for the infodump lmao :]

[geronimomo-spd]

ALRIGHT SO IM DONE WITH THE CREED OF THE KROMON BUT JESUS CHRIST NEVER AGAIN, wow

she is so lucky she does not remember any of this, because if she remembered she might have just emotionally explode she might have forgotten but i never will get the images in my mind out jesus Christ even so there were some funny lines and bizzare deliveries of otherwise annoying lines and a lot of mental blocking from my mind but i will say this

as usual spoilers under the cut!

Crizz is wonderful and interesting, i liked how he and the doc worked together in the end, good for them, i did notice how they were really honering Crizz and the guy who protects the borders's words put it into horrible context but i do like Crizz as a simple guy who just got incredibly traumatised and now looks for meaning in the doc and charley, and he is just so sweet and caring so that's nice!!

im gonna take a fucking nap, or eat something, ir watch a funny movie!! heck i need a fucking shower, anything to forget this

ill try to keep it short but they turn Charley into a fucking slug, its horried, discusting to listen to, and a complete step too far, GOOD FUCKING JOB THEY MADE HER FORGET THIS BECAUSE IF THEY EVEN EXPECTED HER TO REMEMBER A SMIDGE OF THIS EPISODE I WOULD HAVE STEPPED THROUGH MY SCREEN AND SLAPPED THEM, like!!!! what the actual fuck!!!!

AND THE FACT THEY MAKE YOU LISTEN TO EVERY, SINGLE, STEP, OF IT, LIKE PLEASE GOD WHERE IS YOUR HONOR, i genuinely hope they are stopping with this horrible physical horror to her because this feels like peak!!!! fuck!!!

heck i am very excited about the next episode and i was planning to start it right away but fuck i need a break jesus, C'rizz feels nice but he is not worth it for this episode, like i can sort of develop a timestamp map of like, important moments with Crizz you need to know and then not listen to anything else but that would mean relistening to this and no thank you, at this point just read the transcript and move on.

i thought nothing would beat the saddness of Minuet in hell's breaking down a mentally ill amnesiac doctor for the hell of it unpleasantness, but this is just worse, THEY COULD HAVE JUST SKIPPED SO MANY KF THE SCENES WITY HER AND JUST KEEP THE FOCUS ON C'RIZZ AND THE DOC NEAR THE END AND THAT'S IT BUT NOOOOO, i don't even know if this is objectively horried as i think, all i know its just generally unpleasant and discusting and not building up to anything interesting like Scherzo, jees

why is this one weirdly funny like I don't wanna compliment this one but it made me giggle several times lol, it was weirdly witty ill tell you that much!! and some cute (??) Charley and Doctor friendship moments in the beginning but yeah,

also after forcing the doc to drink the elixer and then he just drowns them all with hus tecno babble i will talk until i die science talk abd littiraly making them explode from an experiment that he made them do was so awesome, using the power of infodumping for good!!! overall some cute moments, but absolutely horried moments that are not worth it lol, fuck

ok funny deliveries and fave qoutes lets go!

Doctor: i have to, sorry, stand still, please! Charley: no. oh doctor, I don't need a hug Doctor: Su Shaka ha!

awwwwww the way he was like WRAAAA to fuck up some spirits, the shouting has been put to good use!!

doctor: we can worry about his interest when we find the old girl (the tardis) Charley: yeah, i never thought i'd miss her so much lol

after Zagreus it makes absolote sense that Charley is surprised by how much she misses the tardis!!

where are you from? Doctor: Gallifrey ;)

not the doctor saying Gallifrey with such weird sense of pride and zest and anger, the hater of Galifray, my idiot

"you must have some use, what is it? Charley: i've often wandered"

CHARLEY LOL

C'rizz: how will we Doctor: we will use our wits Charley:that bad ah?

LOL YEAH they are finishing each other's sentences hehe, C'rizz is fitting in quite well

Any objections? doctor: yes!! Crizz: ...yes? overolled!"

LIKE WHY WAS THAT SO FUNNY TO ME I MIGHT JUST BE PANICING BUT LOLOLOLOL why is this one witty???

"do we wish to pollute our gene pool woth her mental stubbornness and immaturity?" Charley: Immaturity??? what??" Doctor: "Charley is not more immature then i am!" HE SAID IT IN

SUCH A WEIRD WAY LIKE WHATTT LOL

[shenanigans-and-imagines]

I don't know why my dad does this but he complains about things having "backstories" like mostly video games. My brother will be excitedly talking about a new favorite video game and explaining it and then my dad just grumbles "back in my day video games didn't need elaborate backstories we didn't care we just played them" like one, you're not even playing the game why do you feel the need to comment on it. And two, don't be raining on people's parades when they're happily talking (and honestly it was infodumping bc he's ND like me) like just shut up old man. The Gen x who acts like a Boomer.

Jesus Christ. They’re different games??? Like today video games are built to tell complete cinematic stories. Like, it’s the logical progression of the medium with the jumps in technology???

I don’t get people sometimes. Sorry you have to deal with that.

[iscariotsdeputy]

Staci Pratt’s Lines From The FC5 Script

THE SCRIPT IS FOUND HERE ON THIS POST GIVE THAT POST THE ATTENTION IT DESERVES

now to our regular scheduled staci content under the read more!

[Surprise reactions, yes I’m naming these]

Good Lord! 

What the- 

Jesus! 

God almighty! 

Christ almighty! 

Whoa!

What was that? 

I heard something. 

You hear that? 

What? 

What's that?

[FUN BATTLE CRIES]

Enough! 

No more! 

I'm done with this!

Goin' in! 

Cover me! 

You're dead! 

You're mine! 

Kill them! Let them die for the Father!   (ZOINKS)

Kill them all! They don't deserve to live! 

The weak must be culled! 

We've got this! 

Mercy is for the weak! 

Show them no weakness! 

Cull the herd! 

You don't deserve to live! 

You'll pay! You're all gonna pay! 

You're all gonna die! 

You don't deserve to live!

Is that it? 

You started it! 

I didn't want this! 

We don't forgive unbelievers! 

This didn't have to happen! 

[That feel when the grenades hit]

Move, move, move! 

Move, go! 

Grenade! 

Grenade, move! 

[This boy is on fire!]

Oh God, the fire's gettin' bigger! 

Fire's growing! 

The fire! It's out of control!  

Good Lord that fire's getting big! 

The fire's spreading!

[Lad on the run]

Moving, cover me! 

Runnin' for it! 

Hey, cover me! 

Movin' positions! 

Gonna try to get higher up. 

Gonna climb higher. 

Cover me, I'm heading down. 

Moving down, cover me! 

For sure! 

Better go fast! 

Got it! 

Okay! 

Got ya!

[When he wants to run but he’s like me trying not to infodump: suppressed]

I can't move! 

They've got me pinned! 

I'm pinned down! 

I'm taking fire over here! 

They've got me pinned down! 

[Staci hearing threats]

Jesus! Where was that?! Damn!

Lord! Jesus, what was that? What the hell! 

[Staci underfire]

Damn! 

Dammit, dammit! 

Lord Jesus Christ! 

This is bad!

God, no!

Ah shit! 

[Staci when he sees them enemies]

Look, over there! 

Over there! 

There they are! 

There! I see them! 

Gonna do some Cullin'...      (staci excuse me?)

Don't move! 

Dammit, watch out! 

Hey, watch out! 

[Wounded Staci]

Ah. 

Ow. 

Ah! 

God! 

Jesus! 

I'm hit! 

They shot me! 

They got me!

[HE’S RELOADIN’]

Reloading! 

I'm reloading! 

Reloading! Cover me! 

Gotta reload!

[SALUTATIONS FELLOW NORMAL NOT BRAINWASHED PEOPLE]

Hey. 

Hi there.

What's up. 

Hey, man. 

Hey sister. 

Hey there.

Hey!

Hey Brother.

Brother, how are you?

Miss. Nice to see you. 

Hey there Miss. 

[Sights on Staci, a sniper with the same values as me]

Sniper! 

Sniper's got me in his sights! 

Got a sniper on me! 

[Funky Fresh Idle Filler]

Gotta look after your gear, keep it clean. Out here your weapon is your life. 

The Father keeps all the best stuff for his Chosen. Leaves us the scraps. 

No one is going to take anything from me again. Ever.

The night hides many sins. 

It gets cold at night. 

Even in the dark, they can see ya. 

[Sneeze] [Clear Throat] [Sigh]

[Happy sigh. Like the Blue Jays won another world series recently.] (I shit you not this is how it’s in the script)

I'm not weak. I'm not weak. 

They're gonna pay. 

No mercy. Show no mercy. 

Some say the sun is life. In the cages it brings only death. 

I wasn't sure I'd ever see the sun again. 

[Deep breath] Just smell that fresh air. 

Jacob took me on one of his hunts, only we weren't huntin' any animals. A couple of prisoners had escaped... they didn't get far. I had to help round up the wolves.. you know... to be made into Judges. They were so scared... so scared. I had a dream once that Jacob took me on a hunt. We shot some deer and he asked me to skin them. As I was cutting them open they changed... it wasn't deer. I... I don't think it was a dream.

Good idea to be ready for anythin'. From what I saw Eden's Gate isn't foolin' around.

I was locked down in Jacob's Gate for days. I can't imagine living down there for years. 

Jacob had one thing right. Things are only goin' to get worse and you gotta be ready for it.

[Friendly Fire]

Watch it!

We're on the same side! 

Watch where you point that! 

Do you mind? 

Don't test me!

You trying to kill me?! 

You tryin' to make me angry? 

I wouldn't do that, if I were you.

You doing that on purpose? 

Trying to get me killed?! 

Watch it! 

Be more careful! 

Careful! 

Hey! Watch it!

[DON’T LET HIM USE THE MOUNTED GUN]

Goin' for the machine gun! 

Gonna take the machine gun! 

Cover me I'm going for the machine gun! 

I'm taking the machine gun, cover me! 

Leave the machine gun to me!

[If a friend is down I think, or maybe you, who knows?]

Good lord! 

Jesus! 

God, no! 

Father save us! 

[SO IF STACI KILLS YOU???]

Now who's weak? 

I'm sorry. I really am. 

[Staci death pleas]

Father! Forgive me! 

Oh God oh God! 

[Filler after Staci kills someone AKA post-combat]

Culling the herd. It's just culling the herd. 

Did you see that Jacob? Who's weak now? 

For sure. 

You okay over there? 

You can't let it get to you. 

It.. It'll be okay.  (i love him,,,,,,,,,,)

[Battle Filler!]

They deserve what they get! 

Show no weakness! 

Kill them all! 

Death is too good for them! 

[Reviving]

Going to help! I got 'em! I'll get 'em! I got this! 

Hold on, I got you! Be right there! Don't die on me! 

[You Revive Him! Gold Star!]

It just wasn't my time. Thanks, friend. 

You are a God-send. Thank you. 

You're like my guardian angel. 

[Battle Taunts]

Whatta you gonna do? What, having trouble standing? What's wrong? How do you like it? 

[Staci asking for help]

Oh God! Save me, please!

Oh god, it hurts! Make it stop!

Please, Father. No more!

[If you aim your gun at Stace oh n o]

You don't want to test me.

That's enough.

You wanna see what happens? 

You're not gonna like what comes next... 

You think that scares me after what I've been through? 

Don't be testin' me, Brother. 

Don't push me. Not now. 

I'm warning you. 

I'm not goin' to put up with this, Miss. 

[Staci and Boomer]

You got that dog under control, right? 

Yeah, I'm not sure I'm good with dogs. 

Dogs remind me too much of those damned Judge wolves. 

I don't like the way that dog is looking at me. 

Just keep that dog away from me. 

[Staci and Cheeseburger]

I don't trust bears. 

Keep that thing away from me. 

Bears are dangerous. 

Bears should be in the wild. 

Bears are killers.

[Staci and Peaches]

Now that's a cat.

Big cat.

Big claws on that sucker. 

Nice kitty. 

Beauty coat on that cougar. 

[More Filler, But Longer And Contextual!]

Sometimes it's all just too much...then I remember my purpose. Our purpose. 

Jacob, he's knows everything that I'm thinking. He's got the key to my mind and he twists... and twists... and twists. 

Jacob... he's in control. He controls everything. 

I don't know how much more of this I can take. 

I would've rotted in Jacob's Gate if it wasn't for you. 

Good to see things gettin' back to normal. 

Jacob has got eyes everywhere. He knows your thoughts, before you think 'em. He's inside your head right now. 

Jacob's plan worked. I tried to warn them. I told them not to go back. 

I don't know how much more I can take of this. 

If Jacob gets his way, we're all dead. 

I... I don't know what to think anymore. It's.. it's so hard to keep it straight. 

That goddamn cage, it's like my wires are crossed. 

I can't believe he's really dead. 

No more sacrifices. No more. 

No one can take Jacob on. It's just not possible. 

Jacob's going to win. He always wins. 

Whitetails are honest, decent people. They're fightin' the good fight, and they deserve any success that comes their way. No place is safe, but the Wolf's Den gives you a good chance at livin'. 

Empires fall. The weak.. the world is full of them. They're going to to cull the weak.

I... maybe we shouldn't waste time talking right now.

There's no time. No time!

Jacob... his experiments... he takes us... owns us, speaks to us. He hears us.

They'll find us. They always find people. We gotta leave... before they find us! Before they punish us!

No... keep goin! We move or we die!

Jacob knows. He knows!

You're strong. You're not weak. That's good... good.

I'm alive but I'm weak.. weak. Need to be strong. We are meat. We are all meat.

We could have died. And maybe... maybe I deserved... no, stop, stop! The weak... must be culled!

I... I don't know what we're supposed to do now. Protect and serve? Out here? There's no law anymore, Rook. Look around. Someone should have been here by now. Nobody gives a shit about what's happening here. We're on our own. Survival of the fittest. The weak and strong...

Maybe we didn't survive that crash. Maybe all this is purgatory. We have to atone for all the shit we've done before we can leave this place... we have to suffer before God will grant us salvation.

The whole time I was locked in that room I just kept thinking about how I got here. You know why I became a cop? To get laid. That was it. It was a whim. And then... after awhile, I tried to convince myself that I did it for the greater good. To help people. But I can't. I know that now. Jacob taught me that... I don't know what I'm supposed to do anymore... I don't even know who I am.

[STACI DIALOGUE WITH PHIL, THE PEGGIE, IDK]

Stace: I.. I was told to feed the Judges but I didn't know where their food was.

Phil: Jesus, Pratt. Does nothing stick in that brain of yours? Over there, where it's always kept.

Stace: Right! Th..thanks Phil! It won't happen again!

Phil: It better not.

[Also there’s no confirmation this is Staci, but it was right under the above dialogue]

Stace: Hey... I need to get in.

Peggie: Seriously? Didn't I just let you out?

Stace: There's a new prisoner. I got to go get him. For Jacob.

Peggie: Fine. Get goin'. Just leave me the fuck alone.

[mikiruma]

I'M CLOSING TWITTER FOR THE NIGHT JESUS CHRIST ANYWAY I'M JUST GONNA INFODUMP UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE I'M GOING APE

HI I SPENT ALL DAY WANTING TO/STARTING TO WATCH TOTAL DRAMA SEASONS 4 AND 5 BECAUSE I WANTED TO SEE MIKE&.... AND MOOMOO DECIDED TO WATCH WITH ME BECAUSE THEY BINGED TDI SOMEWHAT RECENTLY..... AND IT TURNED INTO ME PERIODICALLY PAUSING TO TALK ABOUT OUR OWN SYSTEM AND COMPARING MIKE&'S WITH OURS SO AN 8 HOUR EVENT TURNED INTO AN ALMOST (CHECKS TIME) 12 HOUR ONE..... they went to bed a while ago so i'm finishing s5 by myself.... and it was cool because i know now they're wanting to get to know the others and ask questions and be involved(!!!!) BUT ALSO i know mike& in general is a controversial character.... but as someone who sort of relates to the internal conflict in a weird way or has this being our first time witnessing someone with DID have their alters identities respected and not being treated like a complete weirdo for being plural... i mean there's the mistreatment a la chris and scott triggering a switch intentionally to help himself in a competition.... but other than that!!! and the ending to s5 which i have not reached but spoiled myself with because i wanted to know what i was getting into before i started!!!! i'm legit falling in love with these guys and want to see them go places and it makes me appreciate the one fanwork i've seen rewriting them a bit even MORE...... also i know mal is the most stereotypical/worst rep of anything, for having a persecutor and knowing their roles i SHOULD be saying it's a little singlet bait-y and knowing they added him in the story as the main villain because they knew that's what people would have wanted to see instead of a system achieving healthy functional plurality.... but he reminds me a lot of our persecutor and how they acted back in the day, we haven't entirely patched up and they still have stumbling blocks sometimes but after getting to know them and realizing they're acting in good faith (even if the good faith is spelled out with self-sabotage), i just have a feeling maybe i need to psychoanalyze mal. ESPECIALLY because of mike (and to an extent the show) treating his headmates like EXTRAS instead as other fully fleshed people (at least in s4, though they got their moments to talk to each other and cooperate) and taking control/acting like the others were getting in his way of *his life*.... and mal being the host before but being locked away and having to force his way out and rule with an iron fist before he was given any mind.... that guy needs a hug. and everyone else (MIKE ESPECIALLY) may need to learn how to communicate better. mal just needs to feel important and get attention when he's doing things that AREN'T being mean or acting out.... also i think i just want to give mal a hug in general. not saying mike is the real villain of s5 but i AM saying when he was working with everyone to overthrow mal, they were very clear that mike being in charge, while better, was still not the best because they get pushed aside and not taken seriously.... so i think if they just went to therapy or TALKED TO EACH OTHER (I KNOW THEY CAN!!!! THEY HAVE A HEADSPACE THEY HANG OUT IN!!!!! IF MIKE WAS ONLY ABLE TO ACCESS IT BY THE COMPETITION NOW'S A GOOD TIME TO GET YOUR WORDS IN!!!!!) then it would have been a MILES better solution than. PERMANENT INTEGRATION AND CHOOSING TO CURE THEIR OWN DISORDER ALL BY THEMSELVES WITH NO HELP BY PUSHING A BUTTON IN THEIR BRAIN JUST TO GET RID OF ONE GUY THEY DIDN'T WANT TO TALK TO!!!!!!!!!!!! oh my god also i just want to mention i know svetlana was trying to be nice and encouraging saying they needed mike because he's better at some things than some of the other headmates but..... that coupling with the integration...... kind of hammers it in that everyone sees themselves as "extra" :( it makes me want to be more conscious of how i think/talk about OUR headmates because i want to try and make everyone feel welcome and valid.....

anyway sorry for the text wall i just love these guys so much but i HATE THE WRITING and i'm stalling finishing the s5 finale because i know they're going to do it and it's going to piss me off so much and i love ALL of them and want them to be ok..... it's hard for me to criticize much else because i can see us a lot in these guys and how things run.... and i'm disappointed they didn't show much else of mike& purely because i was watching the seasons just for them so everything else felt like filler.... IT WAS ENTERTAINING I JUST.... want to see more of them but WITH THE CORRECT DIAGNOSTIC NAME AND SEVERAL THERAPY TRIPS LATER LOL.....

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edit: finished!!! SO! mal admitting he was pushing people away so they didn't have the chance to hurt them first. the others saying integration wasnt getting RID of anyone, just making them a fuller singular person. GUYS I'M SOBBING.... i KNEW mal was doing the typical persecutor song and dance but with the way he even threw around his baggage like it was NOTHING. still upset at the integration since everyone was more willing to cease existing as they were altogether just so mal wouldn't be the host.... it breaks my heart.... ALSO I'M STILL OVER THE MOON ABOUT GIVING THEM A HEADSPACE AND THE LITTLE DETAILS IN THERE!!!! i legit don't know any other media featuring systems that INCLUDED that!!!!! god y'all the end of the system era was pretty disappointing but it just made me think of the guys i'm living with. i know i wasn't a perfect host and was definitely a control freak when i first discovered i was part of them, and every day i try to make that right.... so this just reminded me of those times in awareness infancy where i was like. ok but i'm the one who fronts the most so i must be the real one!!! obviously not true anymore because julian's the host now, i mean i'm still real but knowing that logic is pretty busted... hehehe.... even realizing i was only the host for a handful of years up to that point was a shock!!! but retroactively trying to work things through with everyone and getting us to a functional place despite not being able to see a therapist about it yet... this was weirdly heartwarming in a way? seeing the headmates in their natural habitat, just chilling. seeing them get into internal conflict. dissociation periods used as windows into their mind. mike starting as insisting he was the one in control and who SHOULD be in control, even willing to abandon everyone for zoey, but going to being the least willing to integrate because he would miss everyone and valued their existence.... i know they can only fit so much development in 20 min episodes of a show thats supposed to focus on multiple people (non-systems at least) so i think their story was cramped in that aspect, but if it were a more serious non-reality show focusing more on mike& in general it would have been WAY smoother. but like. i understand the shorthand and can see the allusions and whatnot. i know what they were trying to do. and i LOVE it. it's not perfect but this is the first time i watched something in a good while that felt like it encapsulated ANYTHING close to my personal experiences being in a system and being the disgruntled host, and seeing a little bit of my closest comrades in mike's headmates was just icing on the cake. :) i think the only thing i would have liked better was if instead of an integration they either agreed to work together and be more functional/rehabilitate mal, or if someone new split entirely to act as the mediator.. idk total drama is pretty stressful!! it's the right environment for it!!! and especially the inner system conflict!!! i don't know i think after all that, they needed someone to be the impartial third party to help settle conflicts and junk... just my onion though

[cookie-run-headcanons]

Personality headcanons for Matcha, Roll Cake, or Firecracker? You can do all 3 if you like.

Heyo! I couldn't find much about Matcha so i'm sticking to Roll and Firecracker! Chaotic boys are coming!

Roll Cake Cookie Hc's

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"Oh jesus christ, here he comes"

Probably Raspberry Mousse at some point.

Very Loud,

He sounds like a typical teen lmao

Has way too much energy as far as i'm aware.

Kind of a flirt no matter the situation and i really don't know what you were expecting.

Doesn't pick up on social ques too well and has the tendency to infodump all the time.

May or may not have ADHD, but he doesn't talk about it so no one really knows.

He loves to just sprawl out and talk with his friends.

When you get him to calm down he'll sit and talk about such deepbthings with you for so long.

His eyebrows furrow and you see a glimmer of light and focus behind his crimson eyes.

He's a smart kid (he's probably around 17-18 so ✨kid✨ is what i shall call him) but he just has trouble showing it and applying himself.

He loves any type of music and actually loves lofi, he says it helps calm him down.

If have a feeling he likes astronamy so if you talk to him about he'll be over the moon.

No pun intended.

He loves boxing and fighting.

He also loves wrecking things so please be careful.

Loves kids and and will always have a soft spot for them.

Says he "wants a little girl" when he's old enough and if he has twins or more kids his life is complete.

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💥Firecracker hc's 💥

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Don't even get me started with this CRACKHEAD

even louder than Roll.

Like 50x louder its scary.

Has even more energy than Roll as well.

Please never put those two together.

Is constantly setting off fireworks and break shit.

Is the life of the party and has to be the center of attention constantly.

Is no where near as smart as Roll Cake but atleast he knows how to put out a fire ig.

Hates astronomy, fully believes kids shouldn't go to school, and sides with be gay do cry.

Is the loudest person at pride events and knownhow to drag makeup.

If you ever need a peptalk or need someone to doll you up and make you look like a queen or kind then go to him.

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Reblogs are highly encouraged!

Hey! I hope these are good enough and i'm super sorry I couldn't give you anything about Matcha!

Friday, September 18, 2020

-Bella

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

i feel a hyperfixation coming on

2, 4, 6, 8, LETS DO THE CR*ZY SHAKE

i think this is another one that i’ll be infodumping about as well.

okay so invincible was incredible. yes i binged most of it today, finished it tonight. um...it’s amazing. im probably gonna watch it again. i absolutely love the animation style, and the colors. the music is amazing. good plot as well. i just....it’s so good. it appeals to my brain, i could pick out characters, and think about them. i like studying characters to see how they react in different situations, particularly trauma and this was amazing. it helps me understand how different people respond to different emotions, and how they deal with it. 

might not make it home has me wanting a girlfriend so i can skate with them to this

spoilers under the cut

fuck omni-man. truly. i actually fucking hate him. i take no criticism. i want to see him choke. i do. i cant count the amount of times that i wanted to scream because i hate him so fucking much. AM I SUPPOSED TO FEEL SORRY FOR THAT BITCH? CAUSE I DONT?. i absolutely hate him. i want to see him tortured, screaming, in pain, and make it agonizing.

debbie deserves more.

mark deserved more.

WILLIAM DESERVED MORE.

so did amber. 

i just.....jesus christ. mark went through so much. i just want to reach through the screen and tell him that it’s okay. he doesn’t deserve any of this. he really doesn’t.