#idk what this even is maybe just a scream into the ether

[ridiculously-over-obsessed]

Had a horrifically dysphoric week and it's made me even more frustrated and pissed off with the state of Gender Affirming Care in the UK and that it'll be a minimum of three years before I can even start on the path to T/top surgery, not to mention the fact that the cost of living crisis just has me completely broke, and I can't work because I'm just a mess, like just the idea of it gave me a massive 3 day long panic attack... I'm just feeling very frustrated and exhausted lately 😔😔😔

[rini-rushed]

english kinda sucks.

☆ rin x reader! (gender not mentioned)

★ crack? idk im smokin /j | reader might be illiterate (LIKE ME IN JP) | already in relastionhip B)

notes: (rin might be ooc D:) i go to a jp/en bilingual school as an english strong student so idk i thought i'd have fun + this is inspired by the infamous EN additional time :P

sypnosis -> learning english after the age of six kinda sucks, having to actually learn the grammar.. but you know what's almost as bad as english grammar?

発音 (PRONOUNCIATION.)

your eyebrows bunched together, your pouty lips now just frowning in distaste at the english letter written out for you by your boyfriend.

meanwhile he's sitting beside you with his legs crossed together, looking at your fidgeting pen and confused look on your face, rin had already gone through this before, since he was going to be at the top of the soccer world of course.

after another minute of you butchering the pronunciation of "th", rin takes the pencil from your fingers and points the lead at the words he had written, turning to look at you, you catch eye contact with him.

he looks at the three words, pointing at each one, in the order he wrote it, rin proceeds to carefully pronounce to you, and you drunk in his slightly accented voice. what a cutie.

"through"

"though"

"thought"

...

maybe his voice wasn't as cute when he pronounced these words and despite looking VERY similar, sounded very different and even meanr very different things...

and what does he mean one's a prepozishun, another is a naon, and that last one is a conjuhkushon...??? whatever those are supposed to be..

"ehhh... threuw?"

you felt like an infant, trying your hardest to try and annunciate these confusing and annoying words.

the little accent in your voice that bled through your voice as you put in so much effort into trying to say these words correctly, it was really amusing to rin.

to him, these words were easy to say, easy to spot, easy to use. but seeing you put in so much effort was adorable to say the least.

"through" he echoes your words with more certainty and accuracy.

you scrunched up your face at the correction, and just went to the next word.

"..dough.."

"though" rin reads, you shoot him a small side glance at how close you were.

you were bit more happy that you got this one a lot better than the last, barely off, you were motivated to try again.

...

"...though."

you turned your head towards rin with an expectant look, the look in your eyes screamed "tell me i'm right".

though his facial expression didn't beam with gladness at you finally getting it correct, it's still rin itoshi afterall, but you could see a small glimmer of pride that dotted itself into the teal sea of ethereality that swam in scleras of your boyfriend's features.

"good job. took you long enough." he complimented, but deep rooted in that bored sounding tone, you knew he was happy to see you overcome.

rin then narrow his eyes slightly, moving his pencil over, making your eyes follow with his movements.

ruining your nice moment, "now this one." he speaks in english, you frown.

rin only watches as you struggle to differentiate 'though' and 'through', it's entertaining to watch, but next to him you were merely being sulky.

all with a single thought going through your head, though you agreed with yourself completely, you like spending time with your boyfriend.

'man, english kinda sucks.'

~ rini writes ~

#whatthefuckdidijustwrite

#anotherbadendingsobsob

#thistookmeeversincenov17becauseikeptabandoningit

tags: @mininji @tofumiarchives @atlas-atlantic @wabatle @biggestcharleskinnie

@rinitoshiplzdateme @fishii-writes @reapkusho @tired-xyra-urstruly

IM SORRY FOR TAGGING YOU GUYS AGAIN AND AGIANAINS...

tried to keep it to rin fans but fumi/atlas

[dried-mushroom]

Hi hello! I absolutely adore how you write! It’s so nice to read~

Ive Seen the dating profile thingy you’ve posted of Harlan, and the „cuddling“ really caught my eye :0

Idk if you take requests right now, but if you do, could you maybe write something about how Harlan or AM get some well deserved cuddles? 👉👈

Have a lovely day! :D

Aww thank you so much, (I might do this for AM as well hehe) I really hope you enjoy this :)

Take a break

Harlan Ellison x Fem! reader

(tbh this one is a little vague in Harlan's description so it can be read as younger or older Harlan. It's up to you Pookie)

Summary: Harlan is having a severe case of writer's block and needs to relax (aka a shit ton of affection).

You were splayed out on the couch, messy h/c hair creating a halo around your head. You lazily drew patterns on the arm of the sofa, whilst the distinctive sound of typing filled the air. You lolled your head to the side, as Harlan sloped over the typewriter opposite where you were lying with a severe case of writer's block, to see how tense he was.

Your eyes travelled over the countless books and trinkets around the room to the expanse of his back and shoulders. Your eyes widen as you hear him sharply inhale and rip the paper out of the typewriter, discarding it onto the floor. When your eyes drifted lower, you saw the number of balls of crinkled paper beside the wooden chair he sat in, and your gaze softened.

You were another speculative fiction writer, that was one of the reasons he absolutely adored you. You met him at a convention, where you asked him to sign your old copy of I Have No Mouth and I Must Scream and Spider Kiss, he had also heard of your works and didn't think you were too shabby at the genre.

When you walked up to the desk he sat at, and it just clicked between you both, a bit of a cliche but you didn't mind (plus he did have you ride him in the backseat of his car swiftly after the convention ended). You and Harlan had been together for a number of years and hadn't quarrelled once so you had come to learn his mannerisms and him, yours.

You rolled off the sofa, sauntering over to the man who ran his hands through his soft hair, clearly irritated. You stood beside him and with two fingers you tilted his chin towards you, he looked up at you with, in your opinion, the most adorable pout you've ever seen on a man (you would never dream of telling him this though), You knew he was frustrated about some aspect of the new story he was trying to write and he needed to relax before it consumed him. You'd know because it has happened to you in the past and writer's block is one of the most excruciating things to go through for an author, for you, it led you to question your own capabilities.

"Honey, What's going on in that amazingly talented brain of yours?'

He looked up at you with his ethereal blue eyes before nuzzling his head against your stomach and mumbling against you;

"It's just so frustrating. I've spent so long creating this world and ideas just for it to amount to nothing, absolutely nothing. I fear my talent may have waned over the years."

You cradle his head in your hands (think challengers), stroking his cheek lovingly.

"Harlan Ellison. You are the most talented writer I have ever had the pleasure of meeting and your talent has not waned ever since you started writing. God I practically fell in love with you the moment I read Spider Kiss when I was 15. Now come on baby, you need to take a break."

That was another thing Harlan loved you for, your endless compassion towards him. He knew he could be a massive pain in the ass sometimes but you still treated him no differently even before you started living together. He smiled up at you, as you moved your hands to grasp him, pulling him from his seat up the carpet-clad stairs to your shared bedroom, him following diligently behind you.

It was approaching dusk already, so you closed the curtains in the room and got changed into something more comfortable, you could feel Harlan's obvious gaze on your body and you rolled your eyes in jest. You returned the favour when he removed the tight black shirt he was wearing and got into bed, you following in pursuit. Once you both got settled, he did something unexpected he started nuzzling into your chest, and you felt his arms embracing you, pulling you so close the warmth from his chest radiated through the thin material of your singlet. You eagerly reciprocated, intertwining your legs with his and stroking his back softly. He murmured against your chest,

"Thank you, I mean it. I don't think I deserve you sometimes, "

That made you smile. You kissed his foreheard before slowly succumbing to sleep.That night, Harlan peacefully fell asleep listening to your heartbeat.

The end

I'm sorry it's short and if I'm not writing fast, I'm trying to write the handful of requests I got (keep em coming and thank you to those who did request.)

[alpinelogy]

Fic Writer Interview

thank you for tagging me @13834. Hopefully the tag works <3

Under the cut cause I said so much help. This took like an hour?? Probably maybe even longer

How many works do you have on ao3? 16 posted as attraqtia + 6 posted on anon + 1 one I hid because I did not like it. And an extra one on my old AO3 but I'm discounting that one lmao. Also back in the day I posted on a further unspecified fanfic archive that is not AO3 (and is still around) as well as on Wattpad and ff.net but I've forgotten my username and login to all and I refuse to admit to those anyway so...

What’s your total word count? 238,447 words. Insane

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

ether strike (313 kudos)

galaxy collapse (somebody scream) (257 kudos)

home is only a town (you're just a guest) (224 kudos)

kicked out the stage lights (you’re still performing) (222 kudos)

system’s breaking down (there’s been a glitch) (214 kudos)+ because I find it funny, 6th place is shared between fill your drink with tonic gin (this is the american dream) and universum both at 187 kudos

Do you respond to comments? Why/why not? I try to (I say as if I have responded to a comment within the past several months) but I am not very good at it. Wish i could like a comment tbh, sometimes it is a idk what to say but your comment made me smile. Also I just get so much burnout I hate it here

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? Uh... probably fill your drink with tonic gin (this is the american dream). Don't really write angsty endings but this is open ended so o7

What's the fic you've written with the happiest ending? Heckies there are several possibilities. Ignoring pwp cause I almost exclusively write established relationship so that is technically happy;

galaxy collapse (somebody scream) is a romcom that ends in loscar happy in a relationship. Happiest ending I've written. That being said

we found wonderland (you and i got lost in it) has a less happy ending but it is significantly angstier so it has a bigger range of emotions. Same goes for kicked out the stage lights (you're still performing). Putting them together cause they both have the roughly same setup of lost contact in an angsty way

same goes for now entering a world (from which you will never return) aka timeloop. Not a super happy ending but the amount of angst makes it feel more happy I think

finally maybe we got lost (in translation) and home is only a town (you're just a guest) are both getting together fics and they end in a happy get together. So adding those as well. They are not romcoms since there is plenty of drama and angst in both

Do you write crossovers? Uh... no rules (in breakable heavens) aka cycling au is a crossover right? I took guys from media A (F1) and put them into the universe of media B (cycling). Granted they are both sports that exist in the same universe but I think this should count as a crossover to me

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Nope. Thank fucking god. In all my close to a decade of writing never and I hope it stays that way

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yeah. Mostly established relationship pwp so I am pleading to AO3 to please add tenderhorny as a tag, most of my smut involves some (mild) kinks but also the established relationship part is important!!

Only single thread of gold (tied me to you) has explicit smut and is not pwp lmao. And yeah... that also has domestic fluff as a tag so who tf knows

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nope. Or at least no that I know of

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

Have you ever co-written a fic before? No... technically. Me and kiro have been floating an idea of co-writing a fic earlier this year but we never got around to it. Kiro come back from the war (US education system) I wanna co-write that fic 🥺

That being said I would love to cowrite a fic one day, it always sounds so fun!! Any writing mutuals (or non writing mutuals who even just need an emotional support writer or anything else o7) hmu I would love to co-write a fic <3

What's your all-time favourite ship? All time including previous fandoms? Bokuaka from Haikyuu!!

F1 only? Probably Piarles actually. Or Loscar or Lolex, been leaning a lot towards Lolex recently Honorary cycling mention: pogrog. The ideas people post and the few fics on AO3... Please these two intrigue me so much

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? I am eternally scared I would never finish time travel George :(((. Really wanna write it, one of these days I will lock in I promise.

What I will never actually write? The original iteration of rbr!Oscar. Idk if I ever will write a version of it, I plotted the original version in August last year and my opinion of rbr has changed since then. I have replotted some of it few months bac but idk how I feel about rbr still lmao. But I am stealing a lot of the backstory for a Merc!Oscar AU so I suppose it works out :3c

Cycling AU also used to look very different. Tbh if anyones interested I'd love to yap about it, don't think it could ever work and it was the first thing I plotted but I have a soft spot for it :). Honestly I just really wanna talk about cycling AU, I have done so much worldbuilding for it and I adore it <3

More ideas from 2023 I will never finish: a Le Mans au for a further unspecified ship, several landoscar wips, several different takes on the pierresteban beef (one day I will write one. Just the ones I have rn will never make it out of the Google docs in their current state). Several different character studies of a driver I now hate so 😂😭

What are your writing strengths? Description I think. Being ESL and having a read a lot in English as a child means that my vocabulary is wide and messy and I am willing to stick three different words with the same meaning next to each other so lol and lmao

What are your writing weaknesses? Dialogue. Idk how to even talk with people irl, does anyone think I can wrote a dialogue of two people?

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? Idk I'm not a huge fan unless it is to make a point? Like if you speak the language then I suppose but idk, dont vibe with it

That being said non-English pet names when relevant (ie Piarles using pet names in French) is cute :)))

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Refuse to admit to it. Second one was Naruto asdfghj

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? PIERRESTEBAN. Like my second wip ever after cycling au was pierresteban. I have always had at least one pierresteban wip. I never managed to write one that I actually liked but one of these days they will be free. Lets see if I can finish my Brazil fic (also known as azincourt so if that spawns o7) or not

Also gewis. I always forget I have not written them yet lmao, time travel George truly lives rent free in my head :)))

And one of these days I will write a proper cycling fic, not an a with the F1 guys. I just... have a weird relationship with cycling rpf on account of growing up with the sport, but I respect the work yall do and I do have the cycling rpf tag opened in a tab on my phone. One of these days I will process my thoughts on it and then write a pogrog fic o7

What's your favourite fic you've written? Heck idk. Top 3 5 in no particular order:

galaxy collapse (somebody scream) - not that good cause its close to a year old but I adore the premise, I adore the vibes, I adore her so much. She is so fun and chill I think I could've done a better job on her in hindsight so she does not get to be No1 but my beloved

now entering a world (from which you will never return) - timeloop!! Probably if I had to say just one it would be her, a labor of love, I think some bits of my thesis of the fic (trust the people around you, it is okay to rely on them at times) are clumsily executed within the actual text and in hindsight there might be bits I wanna retcon but I do adore her a lot

we found wonderland (you and i got lost in it) - my dearly beloved first proper long fic. I still regularly think about the galex in this AU. Like no joke I have made up a very cheesy and idealized and probably lowk ooc future for them that I shall not yap on here about (re: the ooc bit) but honestly, if anyone wants to know it I am willing to yap in DMs o7

kicked out the stage lights (you’re still performing) - so fun to write!! wrote across like three or four sessions, feels like a very condensed version of wonderland and yes. I may or may not have thought of what happens after as well

home is only a town (you're just a guest) - I adore soulmate AUs a lot!! It was on my bucket list to write some day and I'm so glad I finally wrote it!! I vibe with the premise so much and the world building my beloved, so many bits to explore in just Alex and Logan's upbringing (bottom line consider the fact that Charles and Alex would have a fundamentally different relationship cause Charles' soulmate is also named Alex!! Just marinate on that) + honorary mention of no rules (in breakable heavens). I was (and still am lowk) working through a burnout so she is sorta ass but its cycling au. I adore cycling au. I don't think I can put it into words how much the cycling au means to me, one of these days I will write drabbles about the other guys. Bottom line George and Alex in that AU intrigue me

Sorry for the long ass yap asdfgh. Tagging uh... @landoisokay @lafaerie @weegreenbean @autumn816 @femmegeorge @racingliners and @kiroiimye if you by any chance open Tumblr in the next few days >:) come on come back to writing

[pendragonsclotpole]

i finally discovered chappell roan and like, why is her work such fucking art??? she’s got me bopping to femininomenon, crying to california, and entering heaven with good luck babe. and none of those are even my favorite song!! i don’t think i have a favorite one just yet, mostly because i need another forty relistens to feel emotionally, psychologically, philosophically, economically, and like politically ready to rank these songs. her entire the rise and fall of a midwest princess album is full of such catchy and gut-wrenching lyrics with frankly fantastic production, phenomenal instrumentals, and ethereal vocals.

this album is the entire package. i hit play on that first song and i was blown away. this album isn’t just good, it’s one of those albums that’s instantly a classic. the songwriting is immaculate. i have no idea where she found the brilliance to sing certain verses the way she did, but i will forever scream along to “knee deep in the passenger seat, and you’re eating me out, is it casual now” and the entirety of guilty pleasure is fucking femininomenal.

which, speaking of those two songs: her unabashed expression of her sexuality and the emotional complexities of her navigating those desires and relationships took me out for a moment and had me questioning my life because i don’t think i’ve ever listened to such an honest album that had also proven capable of mastering the juxtaposition of conveying some greater meaning of longing with the more base emotions of lust. it’s such a hard balance, that i feel so many albums never quite find, though never to their detriment.

you get albums that sonically and lyrically are on another level, but rarely venture into subjects of substance and meaning in the lyrics themselves because the overall sentiment can be found in how the music feels. not to denigrate those albums, because i believe good music is just good music and doesn’t need to be overanalyzed or imbued with some deeper meaning always, but they don’t capture the cathartic feeling that comes with singing along to the exact wording of certain lyrics or pulling up the lyrics to read them and what they represent.

it’s like some songs are meant to be felt, others are meant to be heard, and some are meant to be read, and a really good song sometimes gets all three.

chappell walks the line and spells out the desires she has for the subject of her music and imbues it with a cleverness and mastery of her passion in a way that replicates the feelings of agency that comes out on a song like my kink is karma or casual.

it’s like she’s saying, desire is desire and the way i feel basically lost in the desire for someone carnally or emotionally can be felt equally and respected unconditionally, fuck your propriety. it’s like she’s saying, i can write something that can be sung along with the windows down while i’m driving home on a hot summer night and it’s heads or tails whether i’ll end up crying by the end of it or starting a rave at a stoplight. it’s such an open demonstration of her sexuality in a way that’s not necessarily sexualized or put up to be exploited by others but instead for the expression of herself and any others who might relate? like yes, casual mentions a sexual act but at the same time, there’s something to be said about the emotion she sings that song with and how casually that line sneaks up on you so that i, a person who most likely is not her intended audience ended up singing along to “knee deep in the passenger seat and you’re eating me out, is it casual now?” like i’d probably still sing that line if the entire sone had the ambiance of a dance song meant to be played at 2am in a bar but it doesn’t. and there’s so much to be said about that and then the way that song ends, “i try to be that chill girl but i’m not actually that.” there’s that backbreaking need to be whatever makes everybody else comfortable and it seems like you do it casually, but it’s really just tearing you up inside.

idk maybe i misunderstood this entire album but frankly? it’s amazing and i’m replaying it.

ALSO SHE DRESSED UP LIKE MISS PIGGY??? goals. i stan. i love her.

[sugar-omi]

(swiftie asker - i love that this is how i've cemented myself here) I'M GOING TO SCREAM TYSM??? HELLO???? WRITER'S FREAK HAS BEEN MATCHED AT 3:30AM ON A THURSDAY????? YOU'RE TELLING ME /THEE/ OLBA BOYS CEO LIKES /MY/ WRITING??????? YOU DON'T GET IT I'VE BEEN SITTING HERE STIMMING SO HARD MY GIRLDICK MIGHT FALL OFF /QUOTE, POS

OHHHHHHHHH YOU MADE SUCH A BIG MISTAKE BRINGING UP TSMWEL. THIS ISN'T EVEN A "HEAR ME OUT" SITUATION IT'S A "YOU WILL SIT DOWN AND YOU WILL LISTEN GODDAMMIT" SITUATION. and to that my ass is FIRMLY planted in this seat and i am slamming a comically overstuffed manila folder onto the table as we speak. starting with "they just ghosted you - now you know what it feels like" and how this line was written for baxter alexander ward. in this essay i will

THE BRIDGE OF THAT SONG. FUCK DUDE I WAS LISTENING TO IT DURING ONE OF MY REPLAYS OF THE BAXTER DLC AND I WAS LITERALLY IN TEARS. MY KEYBOARD WAS GETTING WATERLOGGED AS I SAT THERE. I AM SO GLAD YOU BROUGHT THIS UP BECAUSE BOY OH BOY DO I HAVE SOME SHIT TO SPIT.

"in fifty years, will all this be declassified? and you'll confess why you did it, and i'll say 'good riddance'." FIFTY YEARS IS FIVE IF YOU SQUINT. IT JUST MATCHES UP TOO PERFECTLY SO IT OFFICIALLY WORKS NOW. THAT'S GIRL MATH. the way baxter eventually tells mc why he did what he did and by then it might be too late for mc to forgive him (cough. 'and i'll forget you but i'll never forgive...')

"you crashed my party and your rental car" IT'S LITERALLY TOO PERFECT??? HELLO????? THE PARTY PLANNING MOMENT AND THE CHAUFFEUR BULLSHIT HE WAS ON???????

"you said normal girls were boring, but you were gone by the morning" YOU WERE GONE BY THE MORNING. YOU W. WWWHAHATT THEF UCKKKKK.

you're literally cooking up a fucking FEAST with the prechorus lyric though because was that his goal? it very well could have been - baxter could have stepped out of that cab, taken one look at mc, and decided they would be the one he strung along. because what if he was well aware of just how much it hurt others for him to become a normalcy then a novelty all over again - and he still couldn't stay away from dangling their heartstrings from his fingers like ribbons, if only to at least feel some semblance of control over his life anymore? he was just some hurt kid - barely, if at all, but semantics - but that never gave him the right to hurt those around him in the way that he did. what right does the smallest man who ever lived have to strike a deal with the devil, then act surprised when the blood's on his hands?

COUGHCOGUHGVOCH BUT AHAHAHA ANYWAYS. making those little shoo motions with my hands, go rest up silly!! i'm more than thrilled that you've stuck with me and my brainworms for this long, and you most definitely deserve the best of rests omgomg 🫶🏼🫶🏼

LMAOOO NO NOT THE QUOTE. I HAVENT HEARD THAT IN FOREVER

idk about ceo but I'm honestly happy my words are worthy of such a happy reaction 🤭

ALSO "what right does the smallest man who ever lived have to make a deal with the devil, then act surprised when the bloods on his hands?" I WILL LITERALLY JUMP OFF A BRIDGE. STOP. IM IN TEARS??? GENUINELY?????

someone put that on a billboard, I'm so serious.

but omg, to ride off the "you said normal girls were boring, but you were gone by the morning" and everything you said about baxter doing it on purpose...

baxter stepping out and seeing you wait with cove for your new neighbor for the summer, maybe remembering you sneaking into the soiree with derek or sneaking into your soiree and dancing with you charmingly.

either way, regardless of if you snuck across the lawn or shared a dance with pre-teen baxter, he finds you charming. ethereal. captivating.

no one would wait for a random neighbor if they weren't sweeter than pie, and no one should welcome him so warmly, approach him even if shyly, if they weren't special.

you're special. he can see it. he feels it.

and I've said it before, baxter knows your life has been small. confined to this little street in this little town, so small it's hardly a blip on the map.

he knows you're curious, enthralled by this mystery next door to you. but if you had grown up next to him, you wouldn't be so curious.

you'd have known how pompous and arrogant he was. how simple his thinking was.

and he tries to keep his affection with you surface level. tries to keep it to just a summer fling, something to satisfy your curiosity, to get you to stop looking at him like that. to make his heart stop yearning and for his eyes to stop wandering to you...

holds your hand, visits you in the middle of the night to tell you he's home, but too shy to say he misses you. doesn't wanna give you that inch over him, doesn't want to make this more than what it is. because it's just a fling, and you're just temporary warmth for him cold heart.

won't admit you're the only one to make him feel this warm. will never even think to himself that you are full of love and he's willing to step into the ocean of your loving arms, for fear that he'll drown in it.

everything is about money. everyone uses each other. his parents taught him that much.

love is fickle, love is too sensitive, and baxter knows he's a bulldozer. his edges are too sharp for such tenderness.

but in front of you, in the end, he does as he wants as he always does.

he doesn't take it further in the hotel room, doesn't tell you he missed you, doesn't keep his "confession" to himself.

because he's selfish. he knows this could end badly, not all his break ups have been smooth. but he wants to know what it feels like to be loved by someone special. what's to know what it's like for someone special to call out to him, touch him, yearn for him. seek him out and still pull him closer for more...

he just wants it to be like a movie, just for a little while. he wants that coming of age summer love that the movies produce, and he wants to live out fairytales that his baby sitter read to him.

even if it's at the cost of you... maybe that dark part of him hopes he leaves a dent in you so deep that you feel it years later and still remember his name. he wants you to yearn for him like he yearns for normalcy, for human warmth and affection.

but he also hopes that you forget him and that he's the only one who yearns so painfully. that his heart is the only one who aches at the end of the night, and you forget these summer nights.

it's selfish. he's so selfish. he wants too much even though he tries not to want anything at all.

that's why, even though he hopes you'll just let him go easily once summer ends, he wants some nice memories. he wants to be genuinely happy, wants to "love" and be "loved" in return.

and you're right. he striked a deal with the devil and signed away his tiring fate for "control" over his life, even if it meant trading broken hearts and morality, his humanity for it.

but even though he knew the deal he signed, seeing you cry or get angry is much different than imagining it. it hits much harder than he never thought, having chosen to ignore the fate of your summer fling. he couldn't bare to imagine it, but he didn't think about how to bare seeing it.

and even though his heart aches, he feels bad for you. feels bad for himself in many ways, a mix of self hate and guilt and desperation sinks its teeth into his stomach and gnawed on his insides with a gluttonous hunger.

even with those feelings, he glares at you, reminds you cruelly that this was the only fate for this relationship, and it wouldn't end any other way, and that you are the one wasting your energy getting upset over a fate he "predicted."

but even though he says that... even though he slams the door on you... even though he's the one who blocked your phone number... why is he the one who is unable to move on? why is he the one who sees your face and hears your voice and feels your touch in every person that tries to fill your place.

and why is he the one looking at your window, hoping the lights are still on and you're still waiting.

(and why, after all these years, does he cry when he sees they are off.)

[fable-finder]

Hippty hoppity, idk if you are taking hottakes/headcanon still but fucky you (/joking) this askbox is now my property! Also this will be long.

Going with all three games: -It is literally in the heroes' blood that their appearances change based on their own morality, morals, etc. A completely neutral hero or their kids will always have some variety of brown hair and eyes. Once corruption, evil or good deeds and purity set in, the appearance changes. No one can explain it, and while sometimes its praised or worshipped, mainly by the common folk, for the actual family or those close to them, its something to be horrified of.

-The heroes and their bloodline may or may not also just live longer than everyone else lol. They don't know why either.

Fable 2 & 3 Headcanons (warning these are mainly good/pure Sparrow stuff). Also angsty! : -Headcanon more tied to my Sparrow who is a good/pure sparrow (yes yes i know sounds boring but i hope this headcanon spices it up uwu). DIVINE RAGE BEBY! A Sparrow who is pure and good is probably hold back a LOT of stress trying to be the perfect hero for Albino so everyone gets a nice, healthy dosage of divine stress induce rage. Extra worse with a Sparrow with Will marks!

-I feel like because of this, Garth would be the most understanding towards Sparrow. Having seem them as a young child and maybe even hearing the death of Rose and Sparrow being shot and thrown out the window.

-Speaking of good/pure Sparrow, do not touch them if you have any form of corruption! Because their skin will fucking burn you! Their tears will feel like acid hitting your flesh, their grip will feel like hot molten steel straight from the forage, and even their blood hitting your skin will feel like actual fire scorching your flesh. Touching their will marks are, if they have any, is not safe either. They will shock or burn you. You are trying to touch someone divine, what the hell did you think was gonna happen?

-I fully believe Reaver would be scared of a good/pure Sparrow because of how otherworldly they are. Hammer would be a bit offput by it but figure it has something to do with the Light due to how she was raise, Garth would be worried and mournful of Sparrow, but Reaver would FEAR a good/pure Sparrow. This is a literal angel, halo and glowing holy light in human flesh, flesh he can't even breath on without feeling like something ethereal is trying to choke him out. He works with Sparrow because he has to, not because he wants to. He rather stay a thousand feet away from them.

-Good/Pure Sparrow doesn't die, they ascend :). No body to be found, no blood. Just. Gone. It's like they took off and vanished from this realm.

-That all said though. I imagine being so divine also hurts Sparrow. Like their body is actively fighting against them. It starts small, them dying their hair back to brown, them covering the weird new tattoo of wings on their back, etc. Only for them to be walking up in the middle of the night, screaming in pain as wings try to ripe through their back. They have to train their dog to help ground them, force them back into this world/realm because they are so scared of vanishing. They didn't want to become a god, they just wanted to do good. Just like Rose wanted.

-The first selfish thing the hero does, is not just shoot Lucien, it's fucking tackle and stab Lucien to death, screaming and crying about how Lucien ruined their lives and how much they hate the man. After his death and blood is on their hands, they choose love. They want their family back, they want their dog back, they want their sister back. The entire world can burn for all they can now.

-I feel like Sparrow is bitter towards Theresa. They were robbed of a childhood and become a human weapon, feeling like they merely were carrying on someone's else legacy. They feel used.

-if Sparrow has any children before Logan and Fable 3 protag, after Lucien kills them and Sparrow brings them back, Sparrow sends them away for their safety. They have to. They failed their kids once, they can't fail again. So they send them to Rose, Hammer or Garth, praying silently either of them can do a better job than they did.

-If Sparrow was good/pure, Logan witness Sparrow ascend, he is very messed up about that :). If not a pure/good Sparrow, Logan was there when Sparrow finally died/on their deathbed. Less traumatizing then seeing your parent get snatched by the heavens hfsjkd. Still traumatized tho!

-Logan started to fucking panic when he saw his mousey brown hair slowly become black

-If the Hero of Brightwall is also going down the good/pure route, Logan actually freezes in horror when he sees the telltale signs of the divinity sitting in his baby sibling.

-After Logan is dethrone and if he is spared, there is a massive drift between Logan and the Brightwall hero. They were super close as kids. The Hero of Brightwall would actively hang on or mess with Logan while Logan was more of a passive bystander to his sibling's antics. Sometimes Logan would lay on the library floor with his younger sibling, reading to them, or just staring at the ceiling with them. They would ramble about everything and nothing at the same time. What I am saying is, they were very close as kids because they were the only ones close to each other's ages since I imagine there was not a lot of kids in the castle. So the drift hurts both of them.

-If the Hero of Brightwall is good/pure, Logan lowkey scared of touching them because of what I already stated above. But when the hero has a massive panic attack and starts hyperventilating and panicking over the stress and having a full blown meltdown because WOW! MAKING A BARELY 20 YEAR OLD SHELTERED ROYAL A HERO IS NOT GOOD THERESA! Logan throws caution to the wind and buries his sibling's head in his chest, because fuck pain, his little brother or sister is crying and he has to be a good older brother!

-Sparrow is rolling in their grave or screaming from the heavens since Theresa just ruined another set of kids' lives btw. Because the woman legit turned more kids into child soldiers/tools for a prophecy. And it was SPARROW's kids too, so you know the Fable 2 hero is PISSED.

-As a funny joke, I feel like Reaver would be scared of Logan and the Hero of Brightwall too. Just full on expected the kids to be very human and normal, is promptly reminded that "oh yeah they are Sparrow's kids of course they aren't gonna be normal and also very human normal children"

-If good Hero of Brightwall can have goddamn angel wings, then Logan has fallen angel wings! Not demon wings, motherfucking black feathered wings! (aka, to show how Logan was good in his ideas, but corrupt in how he did them :D).

-Fable 3 protag and Logan one day meet their other siblings, if they have any. It is either awkward, a bittersweet reunion or just on random. Or all three since these are Sparrow's kids, they probably broke into the throne room to meet their younger siblings.

OH. MY. GOD

I FUCKING LOVE YOU FOR YOUR HC’s

Like this is so fucking good I genuinely think every one should take the time to sit and read these bc it’s so yummy is delicious I eat it up for breakfast

I never thought about the end game when it came to killing Lucien but I love the idea of seeing sparrow break down and curb stomping his ass it just feels so raw and real I feel like it’s what I need. It would Fr make such a good fic. I like the idea of sparrow remaining mostly silent throughout the whole game and just at the end getting the chance to snap and let it all out. I had a HC for a while that Sparrow is nonverbal due to stress over the years and years after game they slowly start to talk a bit after finding a purpose outside of what was forced upon them by Threasa and I feel like this would be such a cool idea to bring that into

I love to think of the effects that Theresa has on the people she used, mostly when it comes to Sparrow and Hammer. Hammer was always compared to Sparrow by her in game and we can see this had a effect on Hammer. I want to do a deep dive into Hammer bc she is dead ass my fav fable character ever and I love her. The song “Brutus” dose such a good job of explaining how I think she feels it’s crazy

Like no one wanted this for themselves and after game both Hammer and Sparrow probably feel like they lost a major part of there identity’s due to there whole goal being revenge for years and once they get it they truly have nothing left. Hammer has no one to go home to and Sparrow just spent the better half of 30-40 years being ran around by some women who used them to get a tower

I also think that Sparrow has a lot of paranoia due to Theresa being up in the spire and virtually unstoppable because she can see the outcomes to almost anything Sparrow could try and do to her

Grief is something that Theresa uses time and time again to her advantage. She uses it on Lucian, Sparrow, and Hammer in very very similar ways. Lucian is supposed to show what you can become, yes Sparrow is acting on revenge and the end goal is different but it’s the same hurt that drives them and after everything we end up bringing back our family just like Lucien wanted to do for him self in the beginning

I could rant about this all day dead ass should start posting character breakdowns on YT one day

Sorry for grammar in advance I have dyslexia and it’s 3 am

[heronchildlove]

Idk if you still want to do the spotify wrapped thing but if so: number 56

Always, nonnie!!! I get so happy when I get asks, always feel free to send me questions or prompts even if they are years old or just come scream about something!

Send me a number from 1 to 100 and I'll write a drabble based on my Spotify Wrapped playlist - Accepting!

~~**~~

Number 56: The other side - Hugh Jackman, Zac Efron (The Greatest Showman Soundtrack)

Freaks, they called them. Him.

Abomination. Aberration. Monster. There were innumerous names to pick.

But Matthew had never seen sense in any of them. From the first time he saw him, he was transfixed, breathless. He had never seen a more beautiful creature in the whole wide world, and he had travelled many places before.

Sure, the performers of the circus were all amazing and unique - Matthew didn't understand why any of them were mistreated either - but to him their ringleader completely stole the show.

He was ethereal and captivating, shadows and light, the darkness of night lit from inside by the warmest gold. He couldn't look away, and almost whined every time he stepped out the stage to give place to one of his acts.

His limbs were long and his movements gracious, his voice was deep and smooth, his smile invited them to mischief and amazement - two of Matthew's favourite things - and his eyes... His eyes sent shivers down his spine every time their looks met.

Or at least Matthew thought they were meeting, but it could just be his wishful thinking

Many and many times now he had snuck away from home to come watch the show and he couldn't get enough of it. Every day there was a different act, a different trick, a different line, or a different quip from the ringleader. It was intoxicating, and he had always been too weak to resist the call of things he shouldn't mess with.

He had started coming up with plans, ways he could approach the ringleader - James Herondale, even his name was like a poem - and start a conversation, praise him and the show, maybe invite him for some drinks. But so far all his planning had stayed inside his head. He just couldn't figure out when best to approach the other. He didn't want to disturb him before or during the show when he was preparing and working, and the couple of times he had gone behind stage after the performances he had been nowhere to be seen and when one of the performers called out to him he had run away like a deer in headlights. He couldn't escape his duties on the times when he knew the circus was practicing, and he didn't know where or when else to look for him.

So when the ethereal ringleader pushed through the doors of Matthew's favourite pub one night and then walked straight up to him, he didn't know how to act. He had forgotten how to speak, or think, or even breathe, it seemed, with the other's presence so close to him.

When he took the stool next to him, smiled and said "I have an offer for you", it took everything in Matthew's power not to blurt out yes right there on the spot.

But no. He was Matthew Fairchild. His family had a reputation to uphold, no matter how ready Matthew was to throw it away for a pair of liquid-honey eyes.

He put on a smile himself. He was good at that, if at nothing else, smiling and being charming. It was the least - and often times most - that was expected of him.

"What kind of offer, Mr. Herondale? It must be very important if you went through the trouble of coming all the way here for little old me."

"Little old you that just so happens to be the son of Prime Minister Fairchild? She approved my license to run the circus, you know? I am very grateful to her, but that's not why I came here. And the offer I want to propose is more of a... partnership."

Matthew's heart skipped a beat due to his overactive imagination and he forced himself to calm down.

"What kind of partnership, Mr. Herondale?"

"Just James, please. And the kind where I give my most loyal and special customer a chance to be part of it all - the magic, the song, the wonder. Your eyes watching us are so fierce and passionate, wouldn't you love to ditch the stands and be right in the middle of the dream, yourself?"

Matthew licked his lips. Yes, that was all he wanted, even beyond James himself, he loved the colour and the passion of the spectacle, and the heart they all put into it and the strength they showed in front of adversity. But...

"I am afraid I have to decline, Mr. Herondale, I have a responsibility towards my family." He couldn't even begin to think about the scandal if the son of the prime minister got involved with the circus like that, specially that particular one. His whole family would be on disrepair, his mom's competence and standing would be questioned.

"James." The other reminded him. "And a responsibility to what? To show up to endless dinners and fundraisings and pretend to be interested in their vile words while being miserable for the rest of your life?"

Matthew gulped. How did he know him so well when they had never even met aside from the distance between the stands and the stage?

"I am not miserable! And I am proud to help my family."

"Oh yeah? Is that why you are sitting here drinking instead of being at the fundraising gala for the opera tonight?"

Touché. Matthew feigned an affronted sniffle.

"I am planning to arrive fashionably late. It's one of my signature moves."

"Or is it your signature because you don't want to be there so you are always late?"

Touché again.

"Who came first, the chicken or the egg? Guess we will never know."

"Oh, I know. I see it in your eyes piercing mine every presentation. Your soul longs to be free, and that's what I'm offering you: freedom, laugh, life. Become my partner and all of it could be yours."

He painted such a beautiful picture, it made Matthew's soul ache. He licked his lips.

"And what do you gain from it? A partnership goes both ways."

James smiled. "I could use a sponsor."

Matthew's heart promptly fell down to the floor and sank to the center of the Earth, his fingers tightened around the glass. Oh, that's right. He should have known.

"So this is all about money?" Of course it was all about money, that was the other piece of the pie of all he was good for.

"Not for one minute."

James' voice was so serious and deep it made Matthew shiver and look back up, and before he knew it James had taken his hand from where it had bunched against his slacks and was holding it tight. Eyes like the heart of a furnace boring through him.

"Money is what the circus needs, because it always does, but it's not at all why I'm here, and I'm sorry if my jest offended you. But all I'm interested in, all I really want, is you."

It seemed like the furnace in James' eyes had passed straight through Matthew's chest. He felt hot, and short of breath, and like every coherent thought had melted out of his ears.

"I... What... do you mean?"

"Should I spell it out?" James asked, all the theatricality of his profession showing in his giving a quick look around before removing the top hat from his head and holding it in front of their faces.

And there, barely hid from the other patrons by a circle of dark silk, James kissed him.

Matthew gasped and pushed back against his lips, but before he could get more than a taste of it, the other was pulling away, top hat securely back on his head.

"This is what I mean. And much more. A partnership, like I said, in all meanings of the word. It's yours if you want it. I'm yours, if you'll have me."

The click of a key turning in a lock. And all Matthew could say was:

"Yes."

[mashas-rotting]

The Slytherin Princess

Chapter 3

Chapter Warnings: fighting, blood purity discrimination, blood, pain, torture-ish, p in v sex, kinda soulmate au, attempted murder, death threats, again maybe dead dove. Idk anymore

"HOW DARE YOU!?" You screamed at the tall wizard leaning against the door way of your detention. Detention, you now had until the end of the year of due to you "tampering with the quidditch equipment" and almost killing Moore, the only muggleborn on the slytherin team. The head master told you if he had been killed you would have been expelled and never allowed to do magic again. "I don't know what you mean, but you should lower your voice. I hear they're trying to expel you." Tom taunted.

Infuriated you pull out your wand, but before you could cast anything you were writhing on the floor in pain. It was like being burned from the inside out. If the write-offs had been a 1 on a scale of 1/10, this was a 20. Only when you saw tom standing with his wand drawn did you realize he had cruxiod you. "Him" an ethereal voice whispered inside your head.

Merlin, anyone but him.

"You are pathetic. I tried to be merciful and have them take your magic away, but blank had to live, and now I'll have to deal with you how I should have from the beginning."

"Depulso!" You cast slamming him into the wall behind him before he could throw another curse.

"Exspeliamus!" He tried to unwand you but you were able to avoid it which also somehow put you closer to him. "Not many have been able to land a spell on me, you should be proud. It is both the only and last impressive thing you will ever do. The dark haired wizard laughed as you circled each other. His eyes held something wild and feral in them. He was enjoying this... and so we're you.

Spells flew through the classroom. Books were thrown from shelves and jars of various dead specimen shattered. Still, neither of you landed another hit on the other. Both of you were out of breath. Tom threw his head back in laughter and began walking towards you his wand at his side. You waited curious to see what was coming. He stopped closer to you than you expected. You could feel his breath on your face as he smiled down at you.

You don't know why, but when he raised his wand to your collar bone, you just let him. "Do it." You heard yourself say, although you don't remember saying it. Tom looked confused for a moment. Recovering quickly, he dragged his wand down your chest, slicing your skin and part of your shirt. You gasp at the familiar feeling. It wasn't meant to kill. It was exactly as deep as the quill had cut you.

Your eyes were locked onto each other's. "Again." You whisper. "Fuck" you groan as he adds another slice following the line of your hip bone, making you subconsciously arch your hips into him. The blood dripped slowly, staining his shirt as your bodies now press together. The sharp bite of his wand pressing harshly under your chin forced you to tilt your face up and therefore closer to his. "What... are you doing... to me." He questioned somehow making it sound like a statement

"Nothing."

"What do you want from me?" Finally, a question you could answer.

"Everything "

His lips were soft against yours before either of you realized it was even happening he pulled back as if he had been electrocuted. "Ruin me." You grip his house robes pulling him tighter against your body. "Please." You begged in a whisper when he didn't move. Suddenly he spun you around so that you faced the wall and pulled your hips back to meet his very apparently hard cock that was currently held back by his pants. The pressure made both of you moan in unison.

"Ah!" You bury your face into the wall as a familiar sting sliced across your back. This shirt would never recover. Your breath catches before you whimper at the both painful and pleasant sting of his tongue on your back licking your blood. "Tom, I need it." You're not sure if you meant more pain, or his cock. "Needy little thing." He sounded disgusted, but it sent shivers through you regardless. Slowly Tom lifted your skirt. Another slice caught you off guard this time across your ass, leaving you exposed as it cut through your underwear. Jerk, he could've just taken them off.

Before you could voice your disapproval at the loss of your panties you felt him sliding the head of his cock between your lips hitting your clit. "Fuck." You breathe out and grip the wall spreading your legs so he can get better access. "I could kill you." He says holding his wand against the side of your neck. "I still think you might." You reply laughing. In one motion he shoved himself inside you completely. The action makes him drop his wand and bite your neck to keep from groaning. You cry out at the sudden feeling of complete and utter fullness. Fuck you'd never been this full. It stung a little as he stretched you.

And just like that he was pulling your hips into his as he thrust into you. Every movement fueled pain from the cuts that littered your body and pleasure from the absolute insanity that was fucking Tom riddle. He was owning you, ruining you, destroying you. Somehow you had become completely and utterly his. In this moment you would have done anything for him. Your moans became more and more incoherent as he fucked you stupid. Neither of you noticed as the scattered items from your battle began to float.

"Gonna come for me, little one? Gonna make a mess? You know I can feel you tightening around me?" His words meant to taunt you brought you crashing down. You screamed as you came and the feeling was too much for him. He came hard with you. Pulling you back harshly by your hair,l he roughly kissed you as you both rode your release. He pulled back from the kiss as your orgasms faded.

Both of you jumped when the loud crash of pretty much everything in the room dropped. "How did you do that?" Tom asked. "As good as you feel inside me, I'd rather have this conversation after you pull out." As you separate his cum rushes down your legs and you hear him inhale sharply.

"You are the only person to ever survive a true duel with me." He states the accusation. "I don't doubt that." You reply, turning to face him, not wanting to disclose anything, even though you know you'll have too. "You hold back in defense against the dark arts." Another accusation. You nod and slide down the wall not trusting your legs after the brutal fucking you just received. You wince as your ass touches the ground, not caring that your skirt did nothing in this position to cover you. Tom smirks briefly at his view of your cunt before continuing. "Just because my cum is leaking out of you does not mean I've decided not to kill you. Explain yourself." You toss him his wand which he catches easily. "Have at it." You say in a challenge when he doesn't react you sigh.

"I'm not a mudblood." You finally answer. "Though I'm not sure their magic is weaker than a pure blood's." Tom scoffs at this. "L/n is not in any of the pure blood family books. They keep quite the record. Do not lie to me."

"I'm not lying."

"Then why hide it?"

"I... cannot tell you... yet. Please, don't tell the others. It's important that no one knows." You plead with him. He just looks at you with distrust. "Okay look, I can't tell you why, but I can tell you where to find proof. You'd have to make an unbreakable vow with me." Tom tilts his head in interest. "So you want me to vow, to not tell anyone you're a pure blood if you tell me where to find proof of your claim?"

"No. I want you to vow to never tell anyone of my blood status unless I say otherwise so long as I provide you with where to find proof."

"I would require something in return for this vow... If I am to do this, you will duel my... friends. Everyday. In private. No holding back. I imagine they could learn a thing or two from you. And any spells you know that they do not you will teach them."

You sigh. This is a mess. "Fine."

Tom nods taking in your ruined state. "And your detention tonight will be spent cleaning this room, since it's your fault it's in such a disarray."

Tom made you clean without magic and without changing. Which made the process longer and more humiliating. It seems he wasn't done torturing you. After you finished cleaning the two of you made the vow.

"Check the restricted section of the library. Look for dark witches and wizards." You tell him once it's done.

"If your family is so infamous, why has no one heard of them?" Tom crosses his arms. "It's a small family, with only one heir at a time. It's kind of our... tradition. Just find the information and we can be done with all of this." You answer exhausted and ready to sleep. "Not quite. You still have to duel my followers everyday until the end of your detention, which I believe is the rest of the school year." With that Tom turns and leaves

[howlingdemon13]

Okay but consider the cv3 gang as dinosaurs, what do you think each of them would be? 👀

Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy!

My choices have been very carefully considered because it’s so hard to narrow it down when it comes to my two favorite things jwjfjdjsndjdks

Okay okay so, easy one first!

Sypha is a Parasaurolophus. They’re magic-coded - I don’t make the rules. There’s something both ethereal and imposing about Paras that screams “yes, I’m very lovely, but watch out.” Like, it’s kinda nuts just how big Paras are. I wouldn’t want to get charged by one. If that’s not Sypha, then idk what is. Visually, the crest is like a built-in staff that I think would be a good visual link. And this has absolutely nothing to do with Parasaurolophus being my favorite hadrosaur and one of my favorites in general. 👀💦

Grant’s hard to pick a dino for tbh, but if we’re going “small-but-mighty”, then any species of microraptor would fit really well! They were capable of climbing and of gliding, so I think that fits well with Grant’s abilities in-game. That said though, any species of dromeaosaurid like Velociraptor or even Utahraptor works, too. Considering that there’s some fossil evidence to suggest that Utahraptor may have hunted cooperatively (at least in family groups), then I think that’s as good a fit as any for Grant’s role as a team player. Oh, that and the sickle claws. But, going off of that aesthetic alone, then Therizinosaurus or other related species with big, fuck-all claws works, too. Maybe even something like Suchomimus?

Trevor’s hard to pick for, too. I want to say any large dromeaosaur, but then part of me is like “why not a Diplodocus because of its whip tail and long shape?” Which, like, yeah, tall and long is Trevor to a T. Again, hard to pick between the two options, but I think I’m more inclined to say big dromeaosaur. Preferably one that has big feathers since Trevor is “soft-but-sharp-coded” in my lil pea brain. Oops, my favorite family of carnivorous dinosaurs has been discovered.

Alucard has to be a dino with horns or something. Again, I don’t make the rules. But I don’t think any ceratopsian fits him?? So that basically leaves either Ceratosaurus or Carnotaurus. OR something that may have had a really elaborate display feature like Dilophosaurus, and I’m more inclined to pick the Dilo since it’s less bulky than the other contenders. That, and they were pretty big without being massive and losing that streamlined, elegant shape.

(I will say that a large pterosaur like Quetzalcoatlus would fit since they can fly, are huge, and look very graceful, but not a dino.)

Is this subject to change? Maybe, but I like all these options. C:

[russenoire]

some points raised by AI advocates that made me stroke my chin and maybe even empathize a tiny bit.

idk, but i like nuance and think it gets elided easily in online discussions. i do not think these below are GOOD justifications, ever, for plundering the hard work and talent of human artists using AI to make art for profit, but they're valid points.

some people tempted by or who make AI art

don't want to take the time to 'git gud, n00b' because they emphatically do not enjoy the process of sucking at shit until they don't suck. and this includes those who might be interested in taking the time, but look at everything they feel might be required and think: 'i could go to film or art school for 3+ years or i could spend 30 minutes tailoring a midjourney prompt.' i kinda get this one, tbh. artistic skill is hard-won whether you're formally trained or not. i am untrained; i would say self-trained. but i never stopped drawing as a child like most people do. something visually and mentally clicked for me, something that i couldn't even articulate until i read drawing on the right side of the brain in my 20s, that allowed me to jump over the initial 'why can't i just draw what i SEE AAAAKSHDKF' hurdle. maybe this is what 'talent' actually means? that early mental/visual shift—where you come to see the world and things in it as a collection of shapes, lines, planes, lights, darks, color blocks, mostly divorced from context or meaning—is present in others like myself, and it does smooth your path. adults just draw for two, three, four years, compare themselves to people who felt some version of that aforementioned shift and/or went to art school, and conclude that they 'have no talent'. while that understandably feels like a long-ass time to go nowhere fast, three years really isn't a lot of time for organic, undirected skill development. i'm serious. inventing the wheel by yourself takes fucking forever; my drawings didn't stop sucking until i was around 11 or 12. that's half my childhood. easily. but actually taking classes or diving into hardcore study? can and will drastically shorten that time. the progress i've seen competent drawing teachers achieve with their students in weeks or months, or artists on youtube who do frequent, deliberate practice in a year is not a miracle. real progress is attainable within a reasonable fucking frame of time IF YOU WANT IT.

really, really aren't satisfied with art that looks bad to them and still want to realize their ideas. and i'm talking crying themselves to sleep over the mismatch between their own skills and said ideas. that frustration is REAL and a version of it is actually a huge factor in why children stop drawing. see all of the above. i don't know how to ease the pain of that skill mismatch. me, i sat with a lot of frustration for a long time; hell, I STILL DO. i think i'd still be halfway decent at lineart and intimidated by actually painting it if i hadn't just started pushing myself to fucking PAINT already, even if it looked really basic. being simultaneously OK with whatever you can do right now and still striving to improve is emotionally difficult. and i know it hurts to have a really cool idea and feel blocked from making it real, especially if you're just not there yet. 'THEN JUST COMMISSION AN ARTIST,' i can hear you artists screaming from the ether. yo. artists are expensive. we are, and we kinda need to be to make a decent living or a feasible side hustle (i'm not going to get into artists underselling themselves). i do think most folks in this boat are not greedy tech bros, just ordinary working class folks who want beauty that is good enough without having to shovel over half a week's paycheck for it. to which i would also argue... dude, you can just save up, too.

often only recognize certain styles of painting (realism or hyperrealism; super-glossy, shiny, high contrast digital painting) as art and want to make art like THAT. putting aside the fact that art is all-encompassing and literally anything can be art, paintings in realistic styles are what i would argue most lay people think of as capital-A art. there is a reason why dictators tend to discourage or prohibit non-realist art; why the early USSR and CPC commissioned bright realist murals everywhere; why more abstract art didn't really catch fire in the western world until the advent of photography. people can see themselves and their history, represented in full color and often writ large. that's fucking powerful and sometimes lost, i think, on those of us who see things differently. but that kind of art is even more out of reach for the lay person who wants it. it takes far longer to make and train for, and artists who work in a realistic style can and do command stupid money. not everyone has that kind of patience or pockets that deep.

firmly believe that some people have more talent than others, so skill development doesn't matter. these are usually the people i mentioned in my first point, who've actually tried for months or years to git gud but never knew how or what to practice. they've been exposed to lots of people their age who felt the shift™ and can't really explain their faster improvement. if you know this feel, gentle reader, and have no clue what's actually happening, i understand why you might throw in the towel. US culture in particular is terrible at growing and nurturing talent of all kinds, and artists don't often share the hours they're actually pouring into improving specific skills. 'talent' by itself is fucking useless; a person who is willing to work at continual improvement will mop up the floor with someone who doesn't think they need to build skill. artists know this. and if you don't feel that shift as a kid, you can learn how to unlock it as an adult.

[wine-dark-and-honey-tongued]

Waaaaaaaa lots to catch up on!! It was a bonkers week at work tbf but still here! We! Go!

19. Share a poem/lyrics/quote that reminds you of Aphrodite.

No lyrics or poems come to mind but the line "I, who am sunk in dreams" from the diary of Ana's Nin springs to mind. Idk it's just so.... evocative I can't help but think of aphrodite.

20. In honor of the new moon, share something new you'd like to bring into your relationship with Aphrodite.

I'd like to be a bit more proactive with offerings, even with my low energy and forgetfulness I know there are things I could do in honor of her at the very least.

21. Share a UPG you have about Aphrodite.

Ok so I'm 1000% convinced Aphrodite showed up to my job once a few months ago and ordered some fries. This girl came in that was just ethereal with pink dreads and ribbons in her hair and all kinds of glittery gold and pearl jewelry. She wore perfume that smelled like warm vanilla but like, the real stuff not that fake shit that smells too sweet. There was just something about her energy that screamed Aphrodite to me and I think about it often.

22. Which member of Aphrodite's retinue do you connect to or want to learn more about?

I'm not really familiar enough with anyone to give a confident answer.

23. Which of Aphrodite's lovers is your favorite and why?

I don't really want to say favorite but Adonis has piqued my interest (even if only because of a little sub-arc in the Sailor V manga)

24. Do you have a favorite way to communicate with Aphrodite? If not, which methods of communication are you interested in trying?

Ah, I just kinda pray at the moment. I've thought about doing divination (tarot, pendulums, scrying, etc) or something but I don't trust myself to separate what I want to hear from what actually needs to be heard, if that makes sense.

25. What was something you learned about Aphrodite that was shocking?

Not shocking, but I was kinda surprised to learn about her warlike aspects (Areia) (sorry if I misspelled that)

26. What do you appreciate about Aphrodite?

Everything, her patience, her kindness, her multitudes

27. Share an experience you've had with Aphrodite.

I remember a couple years ago I went to the sea during the off season (October, I think) and I remember standing on the beach watching as the waves surged up towards me and seemed to tug at my feet, threatening to pull me in. All I could think about was Aphrodite drawing me to her.

28. What is one question you'd like to ask Aphrodite?

Nothing comes toind right now, but that could be because I'm filling out so many prompts at once so my brain is a bit frazzled.

29. How has your opinion of Aphrodite changed since you began worshipping her?

I've definitely gained a newfound respect for her as a multi-faceted figure with just as much depth and diversity as anyone else. She's no longer just a shallow, vain caricature of a goddess in my mind but the real deal.

And to finish things off, 30. How do you want your relationship with Aphrodite to look in the future?

I hope to have a stronger connection, I want to do more with my offerings and maybe write some proper prayers or hymns, I think I might even like to be a devotee.

[soppingwetguywife]

this!!! literally this! the rule is bullshit! the culture is bullshit! their only real rules are 'vampire doesnt kill vampire' (which nadja has broken before) and 'do whatever the fuck you want' so this sudden 'if you leave your master for someone else youre gonna fucking die' is ridiculous to me, because guillermo has been making it clear the whole time that if NANDOR wont do it, he will find SOMEONE ELSE. and nobody ever mentioned this little chestnut!

i have. SO much to say. im putting it under a cut and screaming.

guillermo was PROMISED he was gonna get his turning, a meaningful one, by nandor, whose 'word is his bond'! and of course the second a roadblock comes up nandor doesnt do the sane thing (CONTACT GUILLERMO- he has the ether, he KNEW he was going to see laszlo and nadja off, he could have contacted them OR guillermo, hell, even the crew, who were WITH them!) no he just spirals and nulls and voids the whole thing and then takes the one happiness guillermo found while he was mourning that lost life away :)

i WHOLLY understand that nandor is.... flawed, and hurting, and that man's intelligence is.... well, it's very topical and those topics are horses, basketball and transactional analysis, i guess but i genuinely dont know why he thinks he DESERVES guillermo to wait around for him? to sit down and take what hes given because nandor is so good to him, a delusion guillermo himself entertains to the dismay of the camera crew (though i have Opinions on that)

guillermo just wants a place in this family he's devoted and GIVEN UP his life to! and he's technically finding that, through this season, with laszlo and now nadja, but if nandor really does freak out, guillermo is well within his rights to just leave. so what if nandor looks bad? so what if gossip spreads? what has nandor done lately that makes him look good? he faked his own death, completely misused a djinn for nothing but self-serving shit he undid most of anyway, and tried to KILL GUILLERMO in what was basically a cage match?

the staten island vampires arent exactly high society. they live on Staten Island.

they can literally just lie. not a single person would care. nobody can even TELL hes a vampire, let alone who turned him, the urgent care doctor ASKED who turned him, so clearly his bloodwork didnt show it. so they can LIE. nandor can swallow his pride for the first real time in his life and let guillermo be happy. and maybe then theyll kiss about it or something idk its 3am and i just spent 3 hours on a ffxiv jumping puzzle this isnt at all coherent

the refrain by fandom of poor nandor he's gonna be so hurt he's been so betrayed is getting so old so fast. and so is comparing guillermo getting turned by derek to cheating or hell the even more problematic virginity loss allegory because yeah i'm sorry but nadja talking about how he gave it away to some random vampire instead of nandor was slut shaming if we follow that line of thinking and it ain't cute. guillermo has done some shit serving the vampires that he should be ashamed of but i'm sorry i don't see choosing himself over what nandor wants and nandor needs which seems to change as often as the weather, i don't see how that's such a bad thing. and considering nandor's recent transgressions (*coughs* freddie) i would say he should shut up and graciously forgive because damn if he hasn't fucked guillermo over many times and never had to even say sorry.

AMEN BROTHER!!!

[elysianslove]

ay yo? lmao haiiiii any chance we can get some haikyuu boys and nicknames they'd call their s/o? a lil deprived of kageyama, so if possible can you pls include him?? i hope you're doing well :)

omg wait i remember seeing this in my inbox and planning on answering it but i ,,, i forgot :( im sorry :( but here it is lovely <3 

HAIKYUU BOYS AND NICKNAMES 

ANGEL ! — 

akaashi; out of all his nicknames for you, this is his favorite!! he just thinks it’s very fitting for you, because you’re nothing short of ethereal for him. loves to say it when he’s first greeting you or as he kisses you gn or!!! when he says thank you :) 

osamu; it slips sometimes with him!! not his go-to but it’s very familiar on his tongue when it comes to you, and that’s very endearing :,) just slips casually when he’s asking you a question like, “angel, do we need milk?”  

daichi; omg he usually adds to it and it ends up being some cheesy stuff like “angel-face” and it makes you all flustered because wtf man :( and he always says it while laughing teasingly too ugh :( 

suna; suna has the cheesiest nicknames for you and you cannot convince me otherwise, and you can never tell if it’s genuine or ironic but,,, it doesn’t matter. he sounds so sweet calling you “angel” so whatever :) 

aran; this man. this man. he says it cause he knows it has you weak. he says it so lovingly, so sweetly, so casually, so suave and relaxed and his voice is so smooth and deep. who wouldn’t be swooning over him??? 

aone; AONE AONE PLS AONE PLEASE. he’d just think it’s such a sweet and kind and soft nickname and he likes the way it sounds when it’s whispered and he thinks nothing is more perfect than nicknaming you angel and he says it all the time like “ok, angel,” and “see you tomorrow, angel,” and, “love you, angel,” and it’s so quiet but so sweet hwbwjsjd 

oikawa; he’s about to be in 90% of these cause he’ll be calling you anything but your name. is it because he wants to be annoying and to get on your nerves? or is it because he genuinely means it? the world will never know. you’re not even sure he himself does. 

DOLL ! — 

matsukawa; are you kidding me this is his. it’s HIS. he sounds so hot saying it and he looks so hot saying it and he’s so charming and it’s so like easy on his tongue. and he has a slight drawl to it too and he always says it with this aura of relaxation and ease it’s so hot. he just. he loves it. he loves you. you love it. the world is a better place. 

atsumu; he thinks he’s way cooler than he is when he says it. you suppose he is pretty hot when he calls you doll but you’re not gonna tell him that!!! it’s not his go-to but you can catch it slipping off his tongue every once in a while. 

kuroo; yesyesyes he loves it. only ever says it when he’s so up close and personal with you like cups your cheeks and hovers his lips against yours like, “heya, doll,” and he’s just so handsome. ugh. 

kageyama; at the start of your relationship, kageyama called you by your name and nothing else!! but then he had like this talk w someone and they asked him what he calls you and he realized like,,, am i supposed to be doing it differently??? spent so long just searching up “cute nicknames for my s/o” and then he found “doll” and was like ok. i’ll try. and he tried!! and it stuck!! plus timeskip kags calling you doll??? that’s so hot bye

oikawa; this might be the only sincere nickname he has for you cause everything else is either to provoke you or to be cringy and annoying. and i’m sure you prefer doll over sweet cheeks and pumpkin pie and cinnamon whatever like you hungry tōru?? anyways he loves loves loves calling you doll cause he thinks it’s such a ? smooth and serene nickname? and his voice always gets deeper and quiet when he says it so!!!! 

SUNSHINE ! — 

hinata; please he is all the sunshine, but he always claims that you’re the true sun in his life. idk hinata would be so lame yet so cute like that :( and he always says it with such a big grin he’s so cute pls :( 

tendō; he’s so cute he’s so cute he’s so cute !!!!! your contact name is “my sunshine” definitely definitely definitely. he is literally in love with you and wants the whole world to know it. he loves screaming it out for everyone to hear but also absolutely adores like hugging you from behind and whispering in your ear as he kisses your cheek, “hey, sunshine.” :(((((

kenma; kenma doesn’t wanna think too hard on the whole nicknames thing but he also does kind of sort of really wants to call you something special and the first thing that pops in his head is sunshine. first time he used it you were Shocked but he was acting nonchalant about it (read: freaking out on the inside) and you were like “ok guess im sunshine now.” and you are his sunshine to this day. 

BABY/BABE ! — 

atsumu; it’s easy and it’s endearing!! he personally loves being called babe but he loves hugging you close to him after a long day and just sighing, “hey, baby,” like. he loves it okay. he thinks it’s perfect cause it fits and cause it’s like kinda traditional yk!! 

bokuto; he loves calling you baby cause he just cannot fathom that you’re his like he loves to always say it!!! and he loves how casual it is too like he can just call you that?? that’s so cool?? 

iwaizumi; again with the traditional but endearing and fitting. he doesn’t have to think too hard on it, but also it still means something and is more than just your name or a shorter version of it. also he sounds so hot calling you baby or babe idk i just know it. 

hanamaki; king of “babe! babe :( babeeee! babee. babe come on! babe! baby :(” you’re 99% sure he’s just provoking you at this point. like say babe one more time. but he actually loves resorting to baby, especially when you’re upset and he wants to be as endearing and kind as he can to you. 

daichi; very traditional too tbh. honestly when you two first started dating it was all he could think of saying without feeling awkward or feeling like he was trying too hard. later on when he started to feel more comfortable and more secure he got more creative. 

nishinoya; he has been waiting for this moment his whole life. the moment he can actually call someone his baby or babe. it’s his favorite and possibly only nickname (aside calling you pretty or gorgeous or handsome) and it will always be. 

MY LOVE ! —

akaashi; definitely definitely definitely calls you “my love” like i am 100% sure of this. akaashi is just so. he’s just so romantic but it’s also so unintentional? he says it because it feels natural and it feels right like you are his love after all, aren’t you? 

sakusa; he’s not one for elaborate nicknames honestly, and he feels like “my love” is the right balance of sweet, kind, fitting, and subtle and serene. it’s not doing too much but it’s also doing more than enough yk? also people that look like they would wear a trench coat/blazer and a turtleneck beneath also look like they would use the term “my love” hence sakusa and akaashi. 

tendō; i am telling you guys he is a simp. the loveliest simp ever. he says it so sweetly too like it genuinely makes your tummy twist and heart backflip when you hear him say it cause you can hear how genuine he is in his words oh my god. 

kita; he just !!! he is just husband material okay!!! he is so endearing and he says it in the softest most genuine voice ever and it’s literally his go to because yes you are his love you’re his entire world!!! he loves you!! he wants you to know it every time he calls out to you!! 

BUNNY/PUPPY ! —

bokuto; ARE YOU KIDDING ME. HE LOVES IT. he. loves it. he just finds it so cute and like. he loves the way he associates it with you now. prefers puppy over bunny but like. he loves both. he adores both. 

matsukawa; calls you bunny all the time. not more than doll, but it’s definitely so common. he won’t use it around others not because it’s embarrassing but more because he kinda wants it to be just a thing between the two of you, honestly. 

kenma; IT SLIPPED ONCE AND HE WAS LIKE. A DEER CAUGHT IN THE HEADLIGHTS. he calls you bunny!! sometimes, not always. when he wants something from you mostly. “pass me the water.” “no.” “bunny please :(” it works like magic every time. 

oikawa; oh my god can you imagine??? he loves it so much because one, he thinks it’s such a cute nickname props to whoever decided let’s use pets as literal pet names, but also two, he thinks nothing describes you or fits you better. you are just his bunny :( his puppy :( he loves you :( 

kageyama; timeskip kageyama calls you puppy. i have nothing more to say.

hinata; timeskip hinata calls you puppy. again, i shall say no more. 

suna; hello !!! he loves to call you bunny and/or puppy. the feel of satisfaction he gets when he calls you that like ,,, he feels like you’re properly his yk? yk.

KITTEN ! — 

kuroo; this one is for him and only him. 

LOVELY ! — (maybe sweetheart too) 

osamu; is there anything more beautiful than a tired osamu snuggling up to yoi and with a deep gravely voice saying, “missed you, lovely,” ? no there is not. it’s his favorite nickname for you, and he uses it all the time!! kisses your forehead as he leaves and tells you, “have a good day, lovely,” and comes back home and says, “hiya, lovely,” and tilts his head when you wanna talk to him about something like, “what’s up lovely?” cause you are his lovely, you’re his loveliest. 

sugawara; i have no other explanation other than i can picture it perfectly. he thinks it’s the best choice of a pet name he’s ever chosen and thought of. and he loves the smile on your face whenever he says it, he thinks it’s the sweetest thing ever <3 

BAE ! —

hanamaki; is it a joke? is it not? both. 

okay im sure i missed so many boys but i can’t think of any rn bc it’s like. hella late :( but i wanted to put something out for you guys!! point is, if i didnt mention a boy and you want to know, send me an ask!! and if i didn’t mention a nickname and you want to know that too? send me an ask well!! ill be happy to answer it <3 

love u all mwah <3 

[hyvcklvr]

Hi! can I request a Jaemin x W.H.U.T x A lot of fluff :D

requesting this cause we need more Jaemin scenarios in your acc 🤧👐 and also thank uso much in advance author <3 -🍮

Wanna Hold You Tight (f)

Pairing: Na Jaemin x reader Genre: fluff

Thank you for requesting! Used the full form instead of the original title, bcs idk "w.h.u.t" just sounded kinda weird and the full form is so cute 😭💀 The song is great tho, totally perfect for fluff, I hope you like it!

I hope you like it, requests open, check out my song request event~

----------------------------------------------------------------

You thought about him being yours every night.

During the day, all you could do is stare at him from afar, and when he walked pass by, you couldn't sit still- goosebumps found their way on your skin, your heart racing, and you would silently scream when he approached you, and smiled sweetly, greeting you with a simple “hey, what's up” or a “good morning” in the school hallways, and you would reply nervously, cursing yourself mentally every time for stuttering.

But in the night, when you were alone in your room snuggled up in your bed, with no one watching you, you had your imaginations with yourself, and you would close your eyes and drift away to sleep softly, while thinking of no one, but Jaemin himself.

And in your dreams he would hold you tight, close to him, as you two would sit under the night sky, gazing at the stars, your gaze, mostly on Jaemin, who seemed more ethereal to you, and you would laugh and talk with him all night long, and he would listen to you, because your heart and mind both knew, that all you needed was a person who would listen to you.

It was your own little world, where nothing mattered, no other person, just you and Jaemin, screaming your lungs out to your favourite songs, going on midnight dates and you would just hold him tight, never let him go, as he had his arms secured around your waist.

You would whisper in his ears, “I love you.” and he would say it back, your heart would soar with happiness, and you would fling your arms around his neck. Love, true love.

And then you opened your eyes, with a wide smile plastered on your face, it was all just your imagination, but it felt so good, so real. You turned over on your side and hugged the pillow beside you, giggling softly into it, even at 2 a.m., your thoughts were of him.

And the next day at school when he greeted you with that familiar smile, you smiled back, and talked to him, without stuttering, your mind playing flashbacks of the dream you had the other night, your heart going up and down like a roller coaster, and you wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss him, but you didn't, obviously. You wanted to wait, you could wait forever, and you opted to talking to him for the meantime.

Even Jaemin seemed surprised, but didn't complain- he liked it, he liked talking to you, he loved that you were talking to him, and he liked seeing you smile, and hearing your pleasant voice. His smile went wider when you talked to him, and he thought that maybe, all these days of approaching you first, with his heart tied up in a nervous knot, would pay off.

As you counted the sparkles in his eyes, you decided, that one day, one day he would be yours for real, and your wish of holding him tight would come true.

Masterlist

[iliketoydinosaurs]

Metal/Punk album recs mostly

Album-Band : Description

Epicus Doomicus Metallicus-Candlemass : Very emo cringey lyrics. But it was the true start of doom metal(imo). Very iconic guitar riffs. Often called epic doom metal because of the grandiose vibe. Great start for doom metal.

Mammons War-Count Raven : Doom metal. The lead singer sounds just like Ozzy. Not what I’d recommend to start doom metal, can get very slow and repetitive in places. 

Ethereal Tomb-Ethereal Tomb : Doom. More scream-y than the others. Even more intense fuzzy sound. It is relatively short though especially for a doom album. 

The Sound of Perseverance-Death : Death metal. Just very powerful. The instrumental is really powerful in context of the album as a whole. 

Slaughter of the Soul-At the Gates : Melodic death metal. The first melo death album. Again with Christian imagery. Quite fast and the guy is screaming so maybe not the most inviting but I swear it’s good.

Sin After Sin-Judas Priest : Their best album. Very diverse. Some sad boy hours songs but it works really well with their style so sometimes slow but slow and powerful. 

Spit-Kittie : Death metal but not too intense. Fuzzy. Probably a good start to metal I think.

The Chopping Block-Rosegarden Funeral Party : Post-punk. Idk I like her voice a lot. A tad slow but more in a calming way than boring. 

Hear Nothing See Nothing Say Nothing-Discharge : Just very 80s punk, fast, distorted. I’d also recommend Leather, Bristles, Studs, and Ace-GBH but overall this is a better album.

Penis Envy-Crass : Punk entirely about feminist issues. 

Lights…Camera…Revolution-Suicidal Tendencies : Metal/punk. Very heavy guitar and the guy has a very particular voice. More emphasis on feelings than the other albums but not in a sad way really??

Melissa-Mercyful Fate : Heavy metal. Not my #1 album of theirs but definitely the most iconic. Melissa was the name of the human skull they had(it went missing and has yet to be found). King Diamond’s voice is very unique. 

Transgender Dysphoria Blues-Against Me! : Punk. Not all that aggressive for punk. Very trans, very angsty. Her voice is nice.

Psalm 9-Trouble : Christian doom metal but I swear it’s good. They’re probably my fav doom band.