#idk what the kids are calling it these days but it will always be stucky to me

[thecosywinteremo]

My overarching thesis r.e Captain America and stucky is that you can't love Bucky and hate Steve or vice versa. They're a matched set. They're as much each other as they are themselves. They're their own fleshed out individual people and the beating heart of each others' story.

[imavikingo]

There is something that I can’t understand and will never understand about fandom “culture”

Why EVERYTHING (or a lot of things) need to be canon or acknowledged by the actors/directors/producers to be accepted by the fandom? In specific ships?

And why when a “ship” (two characters, really) have more screentime than others/other characters aren’t in the picture anymore, people take that as a victory as see their ship as more valid and “actually canon”? And mock/harass others for it?

Also there is this thing people have been doing a lot too: Thats calling everyone that doesn’t like the ship you like names (and also calling them terms that before actually meant something awful but nowadays can be said for simply tagging the incorrect ship in a fucking post)

Canon isn’t always the norm here kid. At least when it relates to ships and scenarios. (Bc if we’re talking about characterization… yes it needs to be canon in a sense or we’re writing/making ocs out of canon characters)

Most of the more popular ships will never be canon and have never been, especially the gay ones. (See Drarry, Narusasu, Frodo/Sam, Johnlock, etc, etc)

So why suddenly we care so much about what NEEDS to be canon or not?

Why people NEED to see their ships be canon so badly?

Sure, I can be seen as a hypocrite because Ive been talking about Stucky a lot in the canon and what happened in EG, but they actually did that themselves. The directors talked about gay characters, the actors talked about Stucky. So actually it isn’t something ludicrous or anything. (I’ve never thought they would actually make the ship canon -bc that would be a big problem for them “how can you make Cap America gay!” And shit- but I thought they would at least make them still be friends or friendly or acknowledge the “bromance” and they just killed the friendship in one scene with the most ooc shit ever). In fact, I’m more annoyed by that. They assassinated Steve’s character and Bucky’s progress.

Nevermind…

Why people fight so much about ships and use terms that shouldn’t be brought into stupid shit like this?

Fandoms are supposed to be fun and to have discussions (in good faith) about the canon. What we like and what we don’t like about it.

Besides, a lot of current media are about stuff that’s been remade over and over again. So they have a lot of adaptations and you can pick and choose too, if you want.

And if you don’t like the canon? Easy! Do analysis, criticize it, write fics, do fanart, do creative shit or simply ignore it! No one is forcing you to keep on watching the show or the stuff you now hate/cant stand. That’s what Im doing at least.

Sure, I criticize some people and movies a lot and get actually annoyed by the disrespect towards/assassination of some characters, but at the end of the day I can only shrug and say “it is what it is” and leave it at that. (Meaning not giving them money for the new stuff/not watching nor caring about it and only acknowledging the old things I actually care about and like)

But I don’t insult or disrespect other people in fandom because of it. And also I don’t harass the directors or actors either, ffs.

Idk, Ive always been on the sidelines of the stuff I follow, I’ve never been on the thick of fandoms so maybe thats why I don’t understand.

And I’ve also not seen so many crazy shit (the most crazy stuff Ive seen is people calling others racists for tagging a ship incorrectly and also others inflating the tag of a ship in ao3 so their ship would be “the most popular” with most fics, in that fandom) because I actually curate what I see. I don’t like a ship? I mute, if I can’t stand a person or a ship? I block em. Simple and easy.

I’ve always drawn stuff for myself, read fics and made headcanons. Only recently I’ve been sharing stuff more openly, so maybe it’s that.

Idk.

I’m just tired of seeing discourse and people fighting over this stuff.

[the-gayest-tree-you-ever-did-see]

hey bestie, do you have any wakanda stucky headcanons?

DO I

mostly soft sappy things (UGH tree) but i always like to imagine that bucky got really good at styling hair and does his own differently every day, and tries out different things on the kids' hair and steve's always got little braids in his hair and beard like hiccup haddock because thats where bucky always automatically reaches when he's near him, and with not much to do, he helped braid off the loose ends of clothes (idk how to say this in english. yk how on traditional sarees, theres loose thread and its braided down the cloth? like that) so he's really good at itty bitty braids and ugh!!!!!!!!!! bucky braided everything he touches (and maybe. when he and steve have a kid, bucky is always doing their hair and steve thinks its the sweetest thing ←whoa what haha who said that)

ALSO that bucky learned different instruments and types of singing, and he picked up on doing throat voices (i cant remember what ANYTHING is called rn) and sometimes when he's playing around he'll do a double octave voice to threaten steve but steve just thinks its hot ←haHA where is that coming from lol who said that????

also i think bucky would be really into dance and loop all of the kids into learning with him!! he would be ballroom dancing on a tuesday with a little boy with tiny braids in his hair and breakdancing on wednesday and its feels so wonderful to stretch his muscles and push himself by choice and for something so peaceful and fun

he climbs a lot of trees and eventually everyone calls him to get fruits off the tops or to bring down a stuck animal, and they nickname him the squirrel for a little bit

i know these are all bucky-centric but!!!! he is my favorite boy<33333

he cant draw for the life of him and he tries to learn (now that hes got all the time in the world) but he soon figures out that hes really good at shadowplay and he puts on little shows every once in a while, some childish and fun, and sometimes more serious, and sometimes, on a special day, a memory of him and steve, to celebrate a birthday, an anniversary, or just a really good day

if i dont stop talking now, i will never do so, so!! here<33

[bolontiku]

"A Faint Claim"

Quick Fic - Chapter 2

Characters: Bucky, Steve, Nat, Clint, Lucky, Brock

Posted: Aug 14th

A/N: I love Stucky so here is more angel!Bucky and artist!Stevie. Idk when i will update again. Im sorry!!!

Catch up here!

WARNINGS: mentions of abuse.

Like, Comments, & Reblogs are always appreciated and loved.

**Please Do Not Repost My Work**

Blue eyes darkened, narrowed and finally looked away. 

Sprawled across a single bed was the blond, a redhead and a mess of a human. James took in a steadying breath. Stepped from the bedroom and ran a hand over the head of the Labrador that lifted its head to track his movements. 

The apartment was modestly large, good decor, art books lined the walls, sketchbooks littering whichever empty space there was. He lifted several, flicking through them quietly, the corner of his lips lifting and he stepped over a pair of worn running shoes, there were more by the closet. Photos lined the walls and James frowned at the one of the blond with the brunette from yesterday. The redhead and the other were in several as well. 

James lifted the leather wallet and poked through it. 

Steven Grant Rogers.

Try as he might there was nothing that showed that the young man practiced any specific religion, not that he needed too. Perhaps he was born with the gift. There were mortals that could see what others could not. 

There was a flutter of wings and he did not need to look, "what are you doing here Brock?"

"Me? What are you doing poking around a mortal's home? You find someone you wanna keep?" He asked with a dark chuckle.

James turned to give him a blank stare.

"Look, you can't go and get attached." Brock licked his lips, shifting his shoulders and tucking his dark wings behind him carefully. "You been here longer than ya should have. What are ya doing kid?"

Bucky met his honey brown gaze and held it for a moment. "Looking." He finally answered, fingers curling around a snapshot, the blond with baby blue eyes smiling completely carefree at the camera's way.

Brock cocked his head, brown eyes softening. He dropped his gaze and chuckled yet again, planting his hands on his hips, "the others won't like this."

"Then don't tell them."

Brock wagged a finger at him. He was fond of the younger angel, James had always followed him around. Reserved, quiet, solo. It reminded Brock of himself and he often shielded him from the older brothers. A term used loosely. "Pushin' it kid." He licked his lips and looked away. "Three? Or is there a specific one?" He looked at James, his long hair tucked back in a bun as he had shown him. The younger one didn't care to cut it, and Brock had become accustomed to how he would dip his head forward, dark hair cascading down and around his face. "Be careful."

There was a small noise, a yawn, both dark angels looked to the same spot, the golden retriever trotting over to the man in light grey sweats. 

*

It wasn't a noise. 

More of a sudden shift in the air.

Clint grunted softly as Steve carefully shifted his leg out from under Nat and crawled as carefully as his sleep-addled brain would allow him to and went to look for Lucky. The two had come over when he had called, he had been unable to stop shaking and he knew Nat had heard his voice waver when he told her the cops were there taking his report. 

Nat had been there in three minutes. Clint behind her with Lucky on his heels, coffee in hand. It had been a relief, he hadn't realized until she swept him up in her arms.

The cops had finished taking his report, telling him the guy could have come in through the window by the fire escape and likely left the same way. Never mind that window was sealed shut and a pain to actually get open even for him. 

He had called off from work explaining what happened and they happily told him to take the next couple days off. Nat and Clint helped him check through his apartment and then Clint said it was time for lunch. The day flew by and getting back, Clint ordered pizza and the three fell asleep.

Steve paused at the end of the bed. Had they left the TV on in the living room? He could hear people talking, he couldn't remember clearly, his brain still foggy from sleep. He would shut it off while getting a drink.

He yawned as Lucky sat at his feet, his body tensing as his gaze landed on not one stranger in his living room but two. Had the first been there before to scope out his place? He really didn't have anything worth stealing…

Steve's brain struggled to move quickly. If he yelled-

There was that noise, he heard it in the park all the time, like the flutter of wings. He opened his mouth, just yell, Nat and Clint would come… just yell.

It took a second for him to realize the human was staring at them. He heard James say something, but ignored it, using his wings to propel himself towards the mortal and slammed a hand over his mouth with a snarl, the other around his throat. The young man's eyes widened as he was shoved roughly against the wall and his head hit harshly. Hands shoved at his chest. Little whimpers escaped the blond and Brock held him in place easily even as he struggled, knees kicking against his midsection, hands scrambling against his shoulders. Brock grinned, it was easy to keep him pinned, the youths' struggles nothing compared to his strength.

"Stop."

Brock held still. He peered over his shoulder at James who laid a hand on his arm. "If he remembers you-"

James nodded, keeping his hand on his arm. "Please?"

Brock narrowed his eyes, didn't the kid understand? He was trying to protect him. He wasn't thinking straight. His grip tightened around the mortal's throat, the blond scrambling to get him to let go, hands struggling at his forearm. 

"Brock…"

He grunted, pulling the blond forwards and shoving him against the wall once more. Releasing him and allowing him to slump to the ground before rounding on the younger angel with a low growl of warning. "Make him forget or it's your ass… fuckin tired of taking care of you."

James stood quietly as Brock shifted, wings spreading and taking up the entirety of the room before he was gone. He felt the two stir in the room and sent a silent command for them to return to sleep, the redhead struggled for a moment before the other blond threw an arm over her and she succumbed to sleep. 

James knelt down, knuckles brushing along soft skin. He knew this man. He knew it, like the flutter of wings in the back of his mind. "You're okay, shhhh."

Blue. Deep blue. The kind of blue the sky turned when the sun sank past the horizon and secured the moon in its spot. "Pretty.."

James felt his breath stop. Pretty. He had been called pretty before. Children's laughter rang through his memory, being a child was no fun. At least Brock had stepped in when the others got too rough or too mean. When the situation was grim and he was terribly lonesome. 

Still the straw haired boy looked almost like a girl not that James had been different, he liked his hair long. Big blue eyes had stopped him as he walked alone. Years and years. Long life spans and if you died, well you came back, reborn to grow once again. James was not particularly good at not dying. Brock tried and was usually successful at not allowing him to die, but there were times… and James remembered, every year since he had been made. Every life. Every breath. The beat of his wings when he first opened his eyes. 

"Pretty…" he repeated.

Steve wasn't afraid. He should be. Right? But he knew that gaze. "I was waiting for you." He was. He had been. Steve felt it, the pull, there was something there. A faint memory. Something that had happened, that had been forgotten. He leaned up, stopping as the brunette's breath hitched. 

Pretty. Soft. James watched as long blond lashes fluttered closed. Lips melding together and something inside him shifted. Something inside him sighed. His. He belonged to him. 

Steve yelped as velvet black wings swept out and knocked the lamp over. He reached out just as quickly, "STAY!" He shouted leaping at the same time. Throwing himself at the larger man. Man? Man. He was… Right?

Brows drew together and James tried to get his breathing under control, chest heaving, "let me go."

Brock had been right. He needed to go. If he stayed… if he sank into those baby blue eyes… 

Steve shook his head. If he did… he felt it. If he let him go something bad was going to happen. "You belong here-" he whispered frantically, the words spilling out.

James scrambled back, but the blond straddled him, kept hold of him and he kept talking, his words reaching deep, binding them together. "S-stop!" He caught hold of his arms, Steve catching his wrists in hand. If he didn't stop- what was happening?! James curled into himself, wings tucking away involuntarily, shoulders shaking violently in response to this human. Why? 

"You belong with me." What made him say that? Steve didn't even understand why he would say that, but there was something that moved, like strings tying together. He wouldn't let him go this time. This time? Steve had never met him before spotting him the other day. 

James let out a whimper. A hand flying to his chest which felt heavier even as it rose and fell quickly. The rush that swept through him left him dizzy and lightheaded. "No-" his body failing to respond, as if he were fighting through muddy waters.

"Mine."

His. James felt it, like a lock snapping in place, his body felt like lead as he stared at the blond in shock. He was claimed? A mortal could claim an angel? "Yours," he uttered the word as a ringing filled his ears, vision inking in darkness. God he couldn't fight it, he belonged to him. He gave in, body slumping to the ground.

Steve shook him. "Hey.." He reached out carefully, touching him. He was real. "Shit." What was he going to do? "Hey… shit, shit shitshit…"

How would he explain how an angel came to be passed out in his place to Nat and Clint?

[stuckylibrary]

Group Ask 184

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Please send us an ask stating which group ask and which person you are replying to. Thank you so much in advance!

arosetintedem said:

I NEED HELP! I'm looking for a fic and you guys are the best at finding them. So it is a fic where bucky is like put in stark tower i think post -tws. at one point he is in the shower and JARVIS refuses to make the temp too high. He also comunicates that hydra is in SHIELD by using morse code! If you know it lmk!

Anon 1 said:

hi! I’m looking for a fic where Steve is Becca’s roommate and is Bucky’s sex friend, it’s ABO, and Steve is bottom and they go to a link party, Bucky calls Steve kitten and then Steve gets pregnant and beg Bucky to call their kid James ? Steve is diabetic and Bucky is really protective of him because of that. I really can’t find it anymore it’s annoying, thank you c:

Anon 2 said:

Hi, I for the life of me can not remember the name of a fic. It is super similar to Yours to Keep by nonsensicalbelle. The team is captured somewhere and separated from Steve and forced to watch as Steve reveals fears/secrets something along that line until he is then forced to admit he is in love with Bucky. Hopefully this ask is coherent enough. Thanks for any help in advance.

Anon sent in Always Afraid, Always Ashamed* by CaptainDean13 (complete | 11,052 | E) *graphic violence

Anon 3 said:

Hi I'm looking for a fic where Natasha and Tony are listening to a phone conv between Steve and Bucky flirting, then it becomes sexual and Bucky reveals he knew they were listening all along? Also Tony was surprised that steve got into it so easily and I think nat was kinda turned on? Thanks so much!

gayghostkid said:

hey!! i’m looking for a post-WS recovery fic. steve brings bucky in w/ the help of sam and nat. they end up in a safe house of sorts. details i remember: sam hoses bucky down to get him clean. steve and sam are shocked that he actually liked the feeling, describing how blissful he looks. i remember the end few chapters has the quartet living in a firehouse in texas, or another southern state. the chapter titles were similar to maslow’s hierarchy of needs : shelter, food, water, etc. merci!!

shadowobsidian said:

Hello! I'm looking for a fic that I read forever and a half ago. It's a post -winter soldier Stucky story with Bucky coming back to the tower, but still PTSD-y, and unable to really eat because he keeps throwing up and Bruce keeps trying to make him nutrition shakes and smoothies but they don't really help, and then they realize that it's all the chemicals in processed food so the whole tower goes organic and Tony buys a farm. Please help me!

Anon and drjezdzany sent in Thawed Out* by auburnnothenna (auburn), eretria (complete | 159,341 | E) *chose not to warn

Anon 4 said:

I'm looking for this fic where skinny Steve somehow ended up with the winter soldier and post serum Steve is with 1930s Bucky I think time traveling was involved? They were gonna go back to their correct timeline but feelings got involved so they stayed in the wrong time this is badly explained sorry

Anon 5 said:

You know the fic where is centered around the barnes family rebecca was a lesbian and married a gay guy to cover it up Bucky got into college but dropped out because Steve got sick

Anon sent in The History of a Family by boombangbing (complete | 225,954 | M)

slutforchrisevans said:

Hi! I’ve been trying to find this fic for the longest time and I can’t. I don’t remember much of it but it’s pre-serum Steve and before the war. Bucky comes home and he’s super horny because he took some medicine that’s supposed to give you energy i think? Steve is reluctant to do stuff though because bucky isn’t really in the right mind, but he’s not drunk it’s just the medicine. Sorry that was so vague but it’s literally all I remember :((

Anon sent in Up All Night by triedunture (oneshot | 3,598 | M)

idk-idc-idk said:

Hi! I’m looking for a modern AU I read. Steve is still captain america, and (I can’t remember if it’s hydra or shield) heavily controls his life. Bucky is secretly a modern winter soldier, and is sent to do surveillance on Steve. They meet at a boring gala, and Bucky decides to seduce Steve to get an upper hand. Bucky sees how much Steve’s life is controlled and it’s like Steve isn’t even his own person, like they want to bore him into obeying them. Steve switches sides but they come after him

deliveryisdelayed and stevenbirogers sent in Lessons in Normality by relenafanel (complete | 38,002 | E)

Anon 6 said:

Hello! I'm looking for a fic that featured Steve adjusting to the modern world's ideas about gender and sexuality, and him basically rejecting those ideas to be what people today would call genderqueer. I basically remember him wearing skirts and makeup, and it seemed to be heavily influenced by Gay New York by Chauncey.

Anon 7 said:

Hi!! There's this one fic where Bucky's this big mobster guy and Steve's in a gang and is always watching Bucky at this club. They meet up at this hotel and it has like a dom!bucky but top!steve. Thank you!

Anon 8 said:

Hi do you know of a fic where Natasha hires Steve to be an escort for Bucky at his family Christmas get together? I remember Nat was Bucky’s ex and Bucky’s cousin/relative was really homophobic. There was also a scene where Steve was shooting at beer cans and the cousin was impressed. Bucky and Steve ended up getting engaged like a year after. Thanks :)

Anon 9 said:

I read something a while back that I can’t find for the LIFE of me and I was wondering if you could help. Steve gets the serum and it shoots his libido through the roof and it he’s really out of hand and he needs shots and stuff to make his erection go away and bucky is a good friend and helps him out (I think, honestly I can’t remember a lot of details, it’s been a minute since I’ve read it) if you’d help I’d really appreciate it! Thank you!! Have a great day :)

Anon sent in you know I’d quench that thirst* by napricot (complete | 38,027 | E) */others

emilyshay said:

hi hi! i'm looking for a fic that i've read and i CANNOT put my finger on what it is. It has all these elements: - fury wants steve to pick some kind of companion, maybe a submissive of some sort, because he's been going rogue on missions and steve picks bucky out of a lineup because he looks "the worst" and would piss fury off - bucky is really down in he dumps and all he has to his name is his electric can opener  - bucky goes to some sort of intake interview thing, and he steals a lot of food from a buffet until someoen pities him and gives him a bag of food to take home - bucky is in steve's quarters right when he starts "working for" him and cooking for him and stuff, and steve completely ignores him and rejects him and bucky is really upset about it event hough he didn't want to be there - the payment for "working for" steve is getting a full ride to college and also a ton of cash. thank you!!!!

deliveryisdelayed and drjezdzany sent in Heart of Fools* by Claudia_flies (complete | 55,824 | E) *chose not to warn

[stevelikesbucky]

WHY STEVE AND BUCKY ARE SOOOO CANNON, AN ESSAY BY ME:

I´VE FOLLOWED EVERY STUCKY ACCOUNT I FOUND, SO SPREAD THE WORD, MY KIDS, THIS IS ABOUT TO GO WEIRD. (please forgive any grammatical mistake, English is not my first language)

so, I´ve been investigating this, and I haven't seen anyone saying anything similar, so I guess I might be the first one, but IDK. Okay, we´ve all heard the quote “I'm with you till the end of the line”, and at first I thought it was completely normal, but I found myself wondering, why saying that? why specifying the line part? what does it even mean? you know? they could´ve just said “I'm with you till the end”, was it necessary? so, I decided to go back to the first time they mentioned it, which was on a flashback Steve has from after his mom��s funeral, who passed on October 15, 1936. nothing weird, they were just two friends at that time, no homo right? but keep that year in mind, because it is important. now, two years prior, there was something big going on in the US, everyone (probably including our two young boys), was obsessed over the story of the moment, the main drama, BONNIE AND CLYDE. I know it might sound like I'm going crazy but listen, most historians and reporters agree that this story had a huge impact on the media of the time, everyone was talking about it, and the most important year in B&C´s story was their last one, 1934, they both died in May. So, in case you dont know them, the couple were two famous criminals/killers, actually the most wanted of that time, you can research a little bit about their story and realize that they´re quite similar to steve/bucky, Clyde (Buck) was a good man, but he kinda loved danger, he made a mistake and was sent to one of the worst prisions possible, and came out transformed into a monster, his only weakness being Bonnie, also, she was fascinated with him, blindly in love, and decided to follow him through hell and back, just for love, and so she became a criminal too, fast forward a few years later, they were both brutally shot on their car, but the night before, they had visited Bonnie´s family, who asked her to please leave him, since they knew what could happen, but she didnt listen, she just left a poem for them, and im gonna quote some parts here where I feel like she´s talking about Buck, just keep reading, it REALLY feels like she´s talking bout him, I swear im not dilussional.

"They call them cold-blooded killers;

They say they are heartless and mean;

But I say this with pride,

That I once knew Clyde

When he was honest and upright and clean.

But the laws fooled around,

Kept taking him down

And locking him up in a cell,

Till he said to me,

"I'll never be free,

So I'll meet a few of them in hell."

(...)

The road gets dimmer and dimmer;

Sometimes you can hardly see;

But it's fight man to man,

And do all you can,

For they know they can never be free.

From heart-break some people have suffered;

From weariness some people have died;

But take all in all,

Our troubles are small 

(...)

They don’t think they’re too smart or desperate

They know the law always wins;

They’ve been shot at before,

But they do not ignore

That death is the wages of sin. 

Some day they’ll go down together;

And they’ll bury them side by side

To few it’ll be grief--

To the law a relief--

But it’s death for Bonnie and Clyde."

so, as you might have seen, and if you read the full thing online, it is SOOO relatable to steve and buck it´s kind of weird, but you know what's weirder? this poem is called THE END OF THE LINE, by Bonnie Parker, so probably, our boy Buck was using a reference ;) ;) about the lovers, a topic they definitely knew about, and OBVIOUSLY our cottage gays have read that poetry, it´s so in-character omg.

So... that's it, I confirm this two are lovers bc why would you use a Romeo-and-Juliet-like expression to tell your nohomo bro pal that you have his back????

[stockholmhoney]

hiii so i was tagged by @watermelonsugarhii to do this like forever ago i’m so sorry i’m just now getting to it!!! i was also tagged by @deludedandlostcause to do something similar so i thought i’d combine them into one post i hope u don’t mind :)

i tag anyone who feels like doing these!!

top three ships: ok uuuum jaspenor (the royals), stucky, aaaand i’ll have to think about a third one (i respectfully “”ship”” a lot of real life ppl like h&l but i know some people feel weird about that so???)

last movie: we have always lived in the castle 

lipstick or chapstick: chapstick!!

last song: hmm just gonna go with tribulation by matt maeson it’s so good

reading: the dream house kings series (it’s supposed to be a kids series i think but it’s a long story lol and they’re actually p good!!)

watching: kind of watching “the hunt” on prime, it’s a lot but logan lerman is absolutely incredible

totally spies or powderpuff girls: powderpuff girls probs

----

nickname: lulu

real name: hmm can i refrain lol

zodiac: aries

favorite musicians or bands: 1d, matt maeson, laundry day

favorite sports team: i’m not rly into sports but my fav college team is the hokies!!!

other blogs: jeez here we go @chubbiedumpling (marvel & lots of chris evans/seb stan!!),  @mythlaughlin (gmm/rhett&link), @ty-ly-lester (dan&phil, i’m rarely on this one), @sawyerslaundry (msc/personal), and @pevensiescrubb (narnia)

do i get asks: no i wish i did tho :(

how many blogs do i follow: uuuh like 500+ omg i should probably do some spring cleaning

tumblr crushes: i don’t really have any :/

lucky numbers: not really lucky but i like 27!!

what am i wearing: pjs!

dream vacation: literally everywhere ever

dream car: i don’t really have one, i think mini coopers are so cute tho or that one car from that one episode of dr. who does anyone know what i’m talking about

favorite food: taco bell probably lmao

drink of choice: water, sprite, orange juice lol

instruments: euphonium is the only one i’m fairly decent at but my goal is to practice more ukulele and piano!

languages: english but i want to learn asl and get better at spanish!!

celebrity crushes: i have A LOT of favs and idk if i’d really call them crushes??? but mainly william moseley, chris evans, and sebastian stan right now!!! also zendaya!!!!

random fact: uuuuuuum i have a fish named stuart, a dog named lukie and a cat we call cat <3333

[ekkorn]

hi there, just saw in the tags that you didn‘t like endgame. would you like to expand on that? i am curious to know other people‘s perspective. personally, i liked it. it has flaws, yes, but to me it was enjoyable. if you don‘t feel like answering, that is fine :) have a great day!

oh wow. you really wanna know? okay, but on your own head be it. :o

i’m just joking, i’ll go easy, or at least give you the digest (a vicious lie) version. if you want to see the full extent of my derision and vitriol, you can go to @lowkeysebastianstan, which is the blog where i’ve tried to limit this too. but to give you the not at all short and not so sweet of it, here goes. (endgame spoilers obviously).

the first thing that really set me off was the ending, more precisely, what steve did. it made absolutely no sense whatsoever, and hit me closer to home than most of my followers here since bucky and steve are my fave characters, and the only ship i really have. now, i never thought stucky would become canon, not even a little, i didn’t even hope for it. sure, the representation would’ve been awesome, but there’s no way marvel could’ve done it justice, so it was just as well it was never gonna happen. what i hadn’t prepared for was to what extreme extent they were terrified of the ship and the effect it would have if they were to let it be even a hint that could be interpreted as some emotional connection between them, for 3 films they’re built bucky up as the most important character in steve’s life, he’s risked his own life to save him, he basically eradicated hydra during wwii fueled by grief for him, he was prepared to die for him in tws, he fought his friends and gave up everything for him in cacw, and then he just? leaves? to be with a woman who died of old age and natural causes after a long fulfilling life with another man and family of her own. who specifically told him to fucking move on in tws? yeah, sure. and do not get me wrong, i adore sam wilson, after bucky, and the real steve rogers, he is by far my fave in the cap verse (saving a few spots for my bp and cm peeps in the mcu, but we’ll get to them), and he is the superior choice to pick up the mantle, no doubt about it. (okay, a little doubt, they teased sebastian with that shield for 8 years, they based bucky on the brubaker storyline where he becomes cap, and so i do feel a little torn bc no matter how happy he must be for his friend, and him and mackie are good friends, he must be a little disappointed? but who knows, maybe they’ll do something with that in the series, which would be stupid af bc that would negate the positive leap in representation, and mackie deserves it too, so who the fuck knows, i’ll probably not be around to keep track anyways, and can you tell im rambling), but for steve’s last words to be to sam? while bucky stands and watch in the background? like??? i could go on in (more excruciating) detail, but that was why i linked the blog, there might be a point or two about this on there.

but that was just the start. all through the movie i felt disconnected and uneasy, they made some really weird choices, but i don’t think it was until nat took the plunge that i knew i had an absolute dud on my hands. 

the mcu has done a lot of things right, but their treatment of women is NOT one of them. and oh boy did they go out with a bang. first is the obvious implication, he got to live bc he had “more to live for”, and she didn’t have a family, and ye gods we know she can’t have kids, so why should she live? 

(see, if the bw movie wasn’t in the books, i’d completely get it, if it was to give scarjo her life back, and she wanted nat to be good and dead, sure. actually, when i first watched it, that’s what i thought tbh, that the bw movie was cancelled, so. but it’s not, so she will return. and since that the case it’s just fucked up that they yeeted her off the roster. and sure, some of the bw movie was always gonna be set in the past, but tbh? i don’t see much point in prequels for dead characters, you know that whatever happens won’t affect the outcome for the character at all, and i usually find them completely void of meaning. that might just be me though). and of course the fact that she died the same way gamora went didn’t help. (gamora’s death was maybe the single worst thing in aiw, she was fridged, not for the advancement of one man, but for two (thanos and quill) and it.just.shouldn’t.have.worked.thanos.cannot.love! again, mcu and women? not a good match.) 

then of course, it comes back to steve and how much he doesn’t give a crap about the people close to him in the present, we never see him care or grieve for anyone but peggy, and he could barely spare two tears for nat before it was all business again. and the rest of the team? i think clint cared a little, and banner threw a chair, but that was it. no memorial, not burial, no nothing, it was like she never existed, and she died saving the world just as much as tony, he couldn’t have done jack shit without the soul stone. 

and speaking of women, shuri and okoye? before the trailer dropped i was sure shuri was in this, that we’d get to see her lead in her brother’s stead. i actually did a short lament on this already, here.

carol was terribly underused, after all the oompf about her being there she was barely a blip. but the haircut was fantastic, and the best part of the movie was when she returned at the end.

then there’s nebula and gamora (again). at first i was actually quite pleased that they sort of found a loophole to bring gamora back, but then i thought about it (yes, sometimes i get seduced by the flashy colours too) and yeah. sure. a gamora is there, but she’s void of all the things that makes her interesting and all her development is just gone, everything “our” gamora achieved and experienced is gone, three films worth of arc is worthless. so what then is the point of getting “her” back? i don’t care about this person, i don’t know her. are we gonna see quill just harass her the next film, bc you know, she’s been with him, so why shouldn’t he expect her to just do that now? tbh i wouldn’t be surprised, but now that gunn is back maybe he can save it? not that i’ll be around to keep track though.

then nebula. nvm that time paradox, that’s a whole other fuckfest i’ll get back to, but we had to get to see her get killed too, didn’t we. by her sister, the only person in the world she loves. fucking fantastic, i cannot control my enthusiasm. 

and no, cool as it was, the a-force surrounding parker is not enough to bring this home. it was a cool sight though. (see? i can see the good.)

then of course it’s peggy. a woman he knew for a few months back during the war. (sure they knew each other longer, but i’d say, even if you’re very generous, they can’t have spent more than a couple of months in each other’s company, and they kissed once). who they stripped of all character development and autonomy so that steve could go back and get his “damce”. everything she achieved, every good thing that happened to her, her husband, her family, her advancement in shield, all gone. bc steve must have his happy ending, no matter that she told him to move the fuck on in tws, who cares. 

and then there’s sharon. yeah, they forgot about her, didn’t they. i mean, i was never really on board with that, the whole aunt/niece thing was a bit too weird for me, and this was way before i shipped stucky, but that doesn’t matter. bc they did that, they had them kiss within days after peggy’s death (oooh, look how he cared for peggy), making it clear that this was the beginning of something. (also marvel and several of the actors treated emily like crap, oh yeah, i remember, doesn’t help either.) 

(gods i said this would be short, didn’t i? imagine if i could’ve spent all the words i’ve spent ranting about endgame on my latest chapter? good grief.)

then there’s their so called lgbt representation. 30 seconds of a character that had a total of 60 sconds of screentime in tws lamenting his dead lover? well. i. they wanted credit for that. i just.

then there’s thor. they negated every ounce of development he had in ragnarok, this also goes for aiw, wasn’t happy about that, and made him completely ooc, he just spends his time drinking ab\nd playing fortnite of all things? bold of them to assume that will still be a thing in 5 years, but also? thor? THOR? neglecting his people? his friends? the world? thor? then they of course made him fat, haha, so they could add fat-shaming to the list while they make light and fun of his drinking problems, his grief and his ptsd. awesome. the funniest. 

then there’s clint. that they just randomly made a killer? just, like a straight up murderer? okay then. and still nat deserved to die. excellent.

then there’s banner. okay, i don’t think they fucked him up as bad as the others, but it’s still strange he would risk his intelligence to become hulk full time, but you do you.  

rocket and rhodey were the best things about this damn disaster, just putting it out there.

then there’s tony. i mean, we knew he was the main protagonist, and im not objecting that, (even if i think it’s really strange he’d be born in 1970) but idk. that was strange’s plan? all that for that? and pepper just went, eh what the hell, just die, i can raise this kid you wanted. (i know, i know, she’s her mom, she cares), but it was just so flat. and idk. i mean, rdj wanted his life back, just as evans, but i’d want to see that switched, that tony get to retire and steve sacrifice himself to save the world. tony could still be the deciding factor in strange’s plan even if steve delivered the coup de grace. at least he cared enough to show an emotion™when peter came back, which was more than steve bothered with. jfc they fucked up steve.

then there’s the time travel. okay, a few things about the 2012 thing. they put him in the elevator, and then, instead of having him just kick the crap out of the agents, they reference hydra!cap? the biggest shitstorm in the comics in the last two decades? like what the actual fuck? then of course there’s the americas ass thing, which, again, that’s steve, cares about his ass but not his friends! (but at least 2012 steve cares about bucky, maybe he’ll save him a couple of years early, back to the future steve will just live out his life knowing bucky is getting tortured somewhere in siberia, good times.) oh! and i guess they have their loophole to get loki back too, great, they’ll probably just forget that he’s not in the main timeline, bc who cares. 

and the fun just keeps coming with the time travel. oh they tried with some crap explanation that no one can make sense of, but here’s the kicker. they can’t either, they don’t even want to try, they don’t even agree with each other. 

+ +

how did they know to meet up in wakanda or wherever, the dustees? did strange send a memo? not just the ppl in the soul realm or wherever they were, but all the others too, like valkyrie and hope. time and place just magically popped into their heads? and what happened when they all came back? or some came back, bc obviously a shit ton of ppl died at the dusting, like the pilot of a 747 gone? plane goes down and such, ppl really dead. and where do they reappear? where they disappeared? aka those passengers that got dusted comes back mid flight? fun! and what about the ones that moved on in their absence? what happens to the ones that come back when their wives and husbands are remarried, when there’s no place for them in their old lives. did all of peter’s classmates get dusted, or did the rest of the class graduate without him, i must assume that all of those in s:ffh did, otherwise some would be in college by now, yeah?

and that’s another reason their watertight time travel is leaky af, there’s no way to get the logistics to work. the only option as such would have been to go back to 2018 and fix it, to reset time, bc otherwise there are just too many holes, it’s just not possible. but they can’t do that bc then they’ll undo all the things that happen in the future that the characters don’t want to lose, like tony’s kid. 

oh, i know, it’s a superhero movie, but im strange like that, i expect a modicum of internal logic in all my movies, the bitch that i am. 

okay, im gonna leave it there, ive run out of steam, and i want to gif a set. there’s a few things more, but i think you’ve gotten the gist, that i’m not a fan of this movie and a short (lol, so sorry, nothing is ever digest with me, i should’ve warned you) list of reasons why. honestly this is the first time i’ve really don’t a more general account, ive pretty much stuck to steve and that crapshute, there’s a lot of other blogs that concentrate on the other characters, i’d list a few, but i don’t have it in me rn, pop me a msg if you’re interested, also if you’re interested in some real meta, this rambling rant isn’t something that people should be exposed to honestly. 

avengers: endgame was a shit movie and no amount of “he’s worthy” and “avengers assemble” is going to fix that, BUT if you enjoyed it, i don’t think less of you, obviously everyone is different, and i envy the hell out of you, i sorely wish i could’ve liked it too. the russos directed what is by far the best movie in the mcu imo, tws, and they had us all fooled, even if we probably should’ve seen it coming after iron man 4: civil war.

hope you’re having a spectacular day, sorry you had to read this if you did, and and thank you for making mine better, i really had a rant in me needing out. (you’d think i’d run out of hate for this by now, but nah.)

thank you for the ask :) 

[bagelbite]

so my thoughts on endgame

yes this does contain spoilers and yes, i will continue to tag any of my spoilers as “endgame”

did i hate the movie? no. it had many very good moments that i will list before i list the problems i had with it

i LOVED all of the humor like they did that so well. like when steve was fighting his younger self and young steve says “i can do this all day” and now steve goes “yeah i know” in this just tired voice. and americas ass. and all of the jokes about rocket being a raccoon. and hulk taking pictures with the kids and then when rocket and hulk were sitting in the back of the truck. when tony threatened to sell all of morgans toys. korg playing fortnite. the whole scott coming back the wrong age bit. hulk having to walk down the stairs. when tony told steve that if he dropped the shield one more time he was gonna keep it. like there were so many parts that were just so funny and i loved it.

i loved all the tender moments. that little moment of friendship between nat and steve where she calls the avengers her family. i was SOBBING when tonys daughter was revealed and at literally every interaction between them. the fact that tony wasnt even going to build the time machine until he saw peters picture and thw fact that he had peters picture at all. tony telling nebula “you won” and her freezing bc shes probably never heard that before. the fact that both nat and clint refused to let the other one die (which was the truest form of love i have ever seen, not romantic but just genuine platonic love. also not that bullshit thanos called love for the very same stone). the moment when clint was looking around for his family and couldnt find them so he was just running back and forth not knowing what to do. im not even going to mention tony and peter’s reunion or goodbye because i was sobbing like a child the entire time. quill thinking for a second that gamora was back. when pepper told tony “we’re going to be okay” and you think she means the world and humanity but she really means her and morgan. the entire interaction between tony and his dad. there were so so many parts that just hit me so hard.

i loved all the heroic parts. carol showing up outside the ship with tony and nebula. steve standing up with his shredded sheild, still fighting on. the fact that steve can fUCKING WEILD THORS HAMMER LIKE BRUH. also that sick combo he did with the sheild and the hammer. the hail hydra moment because steve is so incredibly smart and knows how to work a situation. all of those bad ass women gathering to fucking destroy thanos. the circle opening up and revealing tchalla and shuri and okoye walking out, silhoutted by the light and the wakandan battle cry. the fact that the canons recognized that carol was the largest threat around and firing at the atmosphere to try and stop her and she just fucking rips through them like nothing. carol beating the shit out of thanos and him having to literally hold the power stone in his hand to beat her. that moment where you see all of the heros lined up ready to fight. “i am iron man”.

obviously there are more of every moment, and i loved all of them.

but.

that doesnt mean that i liked the movie. and heres why:

1) thor’s literal character assassination. i reblogged a few posts (that you can find in my endgame tag) that explain this better than i will be able to but bruh. the russo brothers did thor so fucking dirty and it makes me pissed. they made him fat purely for the laughs (which someone pointed out an emphasis on the fact that they literally edited his weight out of the trailers because they wanted to use it as a gag in the movies). also, they blatently ignored and made fun of the fact that thor OBVIOUSLY was grieving and blamed himself for how things had turned out. he has lost literally everything in his life: his home, his father and mother, his brother, his best friend - and now the man who wiped out half of the human population taunted him with his mistake of not going for the head. also, thor literally just went through the whole process of realizing his true power and sacrifing his home in order to protect his people and youre going to tell me that he just decides “mmm imma go to space and leave you all here youre fine without me” like no. also please read this post it makes me so mad its so true.

2) the whole time travel plot. to me it didnt seem well thought out and it leaves so many plot holes. like if removing a stone can create another timeline, i dont think putting the stone back fixes anything. you have still technically created another time line. and like what happened to loki we saw him disappear wouldnt that be another time line??? and like if 2012 or 2014 or whatever thanos came to the present, then wouldnt that create another time line?????? and if steve stayed behind, then thats a whole other time line. like it just doesnt make sense there are so many things that do. not. work. (sidenote: thanos said the infinity stones were reduced to atoms. wouldnt that be reversable by scott and shrinking down into the quantum realm??? this is just an idea)

3) it was predictable. there were SO many times that i was able to tell what was going to happen before it did. like clints family vanishing. and scott finding an older cassie. and scott being turned into a bunch of different ages. and tony saying no and then saying yes. even tony weilding the gauntlet was predictable (i just refused to think about it bc i didnt want to see tony die).

4) steve staying in the past. now im going to preface this saying that im not trying to say that steve didnt deserve it. he did and im happy for him (since this is what the russo brothers have decided to make permanent). steve did deserve happiness and i will even say that he deserved peggy. but. that doesnt mean thats what he should have done. it was out of character for steve (not as bad as thor but still out of character). he would have recognized that the world needed him in the now and he wouldnt have been able to just stay in the past. like steve’s biggest character flaw is that he cant just sit by and do nothing, he always has to act. so now out of no where he just decides that hes gonna screw over everyone in the present and stay behind. like he knows they just lost tony AND nat, two of the og avengers, and hes just gonna decide to leave them hanging without another person???? and hes just going to sit by knowing that bucky is out there being tortured??? ALSO i am absolutely not saying that any part of his talk with sam was unnecessary. i even love the fact that he gave the sheild to sam (black captain america is my shIT HELL YES I AM HERE FOR IT). but. there is no way that steve “even when there was nothing i had bucky” rogers wouldnt say anything to bucky. and i saw someone saying “well they obviously talked off screen” bitch i dont care there are probably thousands of off screen things that happen and thats why we have fanfiction. but the on screen stuff matters and steve just ignores bucky entirely?????? no he fucking doesnt the russo brothers are just afraid to encourage any more interaction between steve and bucky because they fear stucky fans. and im not even saying this as a stucky fan im literally saying it as a marvel fan who knows the smallest amount of steve’s character.

5) tony creating his worst nightmare. tony has said multiple times that he blamed his dad for leaving him and it only makes sense that he would fear having a kid and then leaving them alone. and the russo brothers did just that. they gave tony the life he always wanted and then ripped him from it, creating tonys nightmare at the same time. he has now subjected morgan to live a life like he did, without a father. now personally i dont think tony should have died. did i predict that he was since infinity war (bc of rdj’s contract ending and also it will be very difficult to continue the “next generation” with these huge figures still around), yes. and i know that its unrealistic for everyone to survive in war but so is fucking time travel and they pulled that card. idk i just dont like how they did it.

so overall, i think i loved a lot of the overall moments on film, its just that i didnt like the themes, messages, and character delieveries shown in the movie. im just gonna go watch winter soldier and ragnarok and homecoming and captain marvel and black panther and all the other Actually Good marvel movies.

[kirishwima]

bucky and that niche qs they look so interesting!!!!

a song that reminds me of them: you KNOW i have a lot we discussed this djdjdj BUT the one I think fits Bucky the best is Hozier’s Arsonist’s Lullabye!! 

what they smell like: It REALLY depends on what era Bucky we’re talking about. Bucky Barnes, pre-Winter Soldier, when he was still young, had that innocent look in his eye; he smelled of tangy cologne, always trying his best to smell good, look good, flirt good, always puts up a big wide toothed smile even if his cologne mixes with sweat.Winter Soldier now; he’s lost. He doesn’t know of the old Bucky, the one that smelled good, the one that bickered with Steve with the vigor of one who doesn’t ever think of death. The Winter Soldier reeks, sweat and rust and dust, there’s dried blood beneath his fingernails and he can’t ever get it out. And then this Bucky. The current one, who who knows little of himself, but he tries goddamit, he tries. He smells like earth’s must after rain, he smells faintly of the exotic flowers he cares for in Wakanda, and nowdays, he smells like cologne again too. Not the thick heavy one he used to use, not with all these options around! He’s overwhelmed the first time he sets foot in a dpeartment store (Sam refuses to let him live it down), but eventually decides on a perfume instead of a cologne. It’s sour but soft, a discreet scent of cedarwood and some sweet flower, just enough to leave a gentle waft in the air as he passes by. This Bucky tries, and you can tell simply by the way he smells.  

an otp: I mean.....that’s obvious djdjdjf, Steve and Bucky. Hand in hand ever since they were kids, hand in hand in the midst of war, and hand in hand until the end of the line. So yeah, stucky lmao

a notp: uhhhh idk if i have one??? i sometimes see ppl ship bucky steve and tony and idk i just don’t personally like it (i find it a lil confusing orz)

favorite platonic/familial relationships: SAM!!! BUCK!! TWO DUMBASSES WE S T A N. ofc ships aside i love the familial bond he and Steve have but gosh, i cannot WAIT to see more of his and Sam’s dynamic in the new series :DD 

a headcanon that is popular in the fandom but that i disagree with: What is it????? with y’all and PLUMS???? LET THE BOY EAT SOME OTHER FRUIT THAN PLUMS P L E A S E HE’S GONNA GET A VITAMIN DEFICIENCY AND DIARRHOEA DDJDJJDJDJF

the position they sleep in: Again, depends on which Bucky we’re talking about. Pre war Bucky; he sleeps on his side, one hand under his head, the other extended usually towards Steve bc feeling his breath calms him During the war he doesn’t really sleep, merely rests his eyes. His back is rigid, his eyes scrunch up at the slightest of sounds. Adrenaline courses through his body day and night. As the Winter Soldier he....literally doesn’t sleep. When he’s out of the ice he just lets his brain go on auto-pilot, does what’s necessary, doesn’t even let his eyes fall shut for a moment until he’s back in that damn room and put back to a semi-eternal fleeting rest. As the current Bucky, he’s a mix of it all. He tries to sleep on his side again but finds that he feels too vulnerable. He can’t rest if he lays on his back, memories of war coming back to him all at once. Eventually he curls up, brings his knees to his chest, tucks his head close and finds he can get a semblance of sleep like that. It takes a while for him to properly sleep again, but when he does? Oh boy. He legit cried the first morning he woke up after a night of no interruptions and no nightmares. He didn’t even care to hide it, he was just so rested and in that moment, happy again.

a crossover au i’d love to see them in: mmmm idk???? idk!!!! i write a ton of aus but idk what i’d like Buck to be in lmao, esp not in a crossover

my favorite outfit they’ve ever worn: look call me out on this if you will but THAT FINAL SCENE IN ENDGAME EVEN THOUGH IT S U C K E D, BUCKY SERVED THE BEST OF LOOKS. THAT BOMBER JACKET? THE SKINNY BLACK JEANS?? THE DUMBASS WENT TO A FUNERAL IN A BOMBER JACKET AND JEANS I CAN’T WHAT KIND OF A FASHION ICON WOULD E V E R. HIS LONG HAIR FALLING AROUND HIS NECK? THE SOFT LOOK IN HIS EYE AND THAT GENTLE SMILE HE GAVE STEVE??? I LOVE HIM SM NO ONE TOUCH ME (also high key i have the biggest celebrity crush on Sebastian Stan so IT MAKES IT ALL SO MUCH W O R S E HE SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO BE THIS HANDSOME FFS)-Send me a character for a niche ask meme!-

[builder051]

Maybe something about Bucky's triggers could be interesting... like steve knows what they are and tries to avoid them at all costs without bucky realising and is kind of overprotective in a way- idk where it could lead imma just put it out there, could get angsty, fluffy whatever

Here’s what I came up with.  I like plot, so… yeah.  If this didn’t quite hit it for you, let me know and I can unleash a bunch of headcanons in non-story format as a sort of companion to the Stucky stories.

This is powers/no powers choose your own adventure.

___________________________

Steve glances sideways as he ticks up the speed on his treadmill.  He catches Bucky’s eye, and he can tell Bucky’s doing the same thing on his own machine.  Steve ticks the speed up another notch and pumps his arms at his sides, propelling his body to move faster.  Bucky’s already breaking into a sprint, his chest open forward and his quads gripping with visible musculature.

“What’s your distance at?” Steve pants, trying to see the display on Bucky’s treadmill without losing concentration on his own movements.

“Five point six,” Bucky reports.

“I’m at five point six one,” Steve says with a smile.

“Race you to six miles?” Bucky asks, raising his eyebrows and sending a bead of sweat down the side of his face.

“You’re on.”  Steve ups his speed again.  So does Bucky, and the sound of sneakers slapping against the treadmill belts increases to a frenetic pace.

At their speed, it only takes a couple minutes to finish the last mile.  Lactic acid burns through Steve’s legs.  The distance counter on his machine flicks to 6.00.  “Done,” he exhales, looking at Bucky again.

Barely one second later, Bucky echoes, “Done.”  They both slap the speed down and slow their sprints to a softer jogging pace.

“Ah.  You win,” Bucky concedes, wiping his forehead to displace the fine hairs that have escaped from his ponytail.

“Barely,” Steve breathes.  “You’re getting good.  I’m going to have to step up my training to stay ahead of you.”

“Naw,” Bucky says.  “I’m just happy to be in shape again…”

“I’d say it’s come back to you pretty easily,” Steve compliments.  “But then again, we’re here a lot.”  He gestures around at the small 24-hour gym, which, as always, is deserted at this hour.

“What time is it?” Bucky asks, slowing his treadmill to walking pace and looking over his shoulder for a clock.

“Almost five,” Steve replies, looking down at his watch.

“Fuck.”

“Well, we’ve been here since three,” Steve says with a shrug.

“The day has…too many hours.  Like no matter what I do, I can barely get time to pass,” Bucky mumbles.

Steve isn’t sure how to respond.  Bucky’s right.  When they’re up hours before sunrise to dampen the nightmares, first instinct is to expect the day to start.  But when work and other activities don’t start until at least seven or eight, something has to be done to goad the clock into moving forward.  The gym’s become their go-to activity following pre-dawn wakeup calls.  It gives Steve hope that Bucky has so much energy and drive, but it doesn’t take away the fact that he’s been shouting his way through paralyzing bad dreams almost nightly for the past few weeks.

Both of them have gotten stronger physically, but Steve can see the subtle wear and tear the schedule’s having on Bucky.  Faint shadows show beneath his eyes.  He’s quieter.  Twitchier.  His forehead sometimes wrinkles with what Steve knows is a headache and Bucky insists is nothing.

“Well,” Steve says, dropping his treadmill speed down to zero.  “You about done here?”  He steps to the carpeted floor and leans against the wall to stretch his calves.

“Yeah, I guess,” Bucky says.  He surfs his treadmill belt for a few seconds as the machine turns off.  The expression on his face looks upbeat enough, but Steve doesn’t like the pallor of Bucky’s cheeks or the micro tremble in his fingers.

Steve claps his hand down on Bucky’s stump shoulder.  “You doing ok?” he asks quietly, wanting to check in without being overbearing.

“Sure, yeah,” Bucky murmurs, a little distantly.

“Hungry?” Steve continues.  “I think we’re out of eggs.  But we could find something to eat at home, or we could go out.”

“What’s open this early?” Bucky asks, flipping up the hem of his shirt to wipe more sweat from his face.

“24-hour places.  IHOP,” Steve offers.

“Ok.  That sounds good.”

They’d walked to the gym, so they end up walking a few blocks out of the neighborhood to a street of restaurants and shops.  It’s still completely dark outside, further confusing the precarious concept of time.

Steve steps up under the IHOP’s blue canopy and holds the door open for Bucky.  A sleepy-looking hostess takes them to a booth in a windowed alcove and hands them menus that are slightly tacky to the touch.

“Two coffees,” Steve orders when the woman asks if she can get them started with drinks.  “And two waters, with no ice.”

Bucky’s absorbed with the menu, so Steve isn’t sure if he’s listening to the exchange.  Steve’s gotten good at avoiding Bucky’s triggers, even adopting some of the habits as his own just to make things easier.  Up until this most recent string of night terrors, Bucky’s been flourishing.  Navigating life easily as long as certain things are avoided.  They haven’t actually talked about it in a while, so Steve can’t say clearly whether or not his protectiveness is embarrassing to Bucky, but he has a feeling it probably is.

The dining room is empty except for a group of drunk-looking young people a few tables over.  Steve glances at them with a disapproving look for a moment, then he realizes it’s Saturday morning.  They’re probably the leftover stragglers from some Friday night party.  He remembers himself and Bucky doing things like that years ago, and a single sniff of a giggle escapes him as he turns his attention to the list of omelets.

“What?” Bucky asks, giving a confused smile at the look on Steve’s face.

“Was just thinking…” Steve says.  “About us as kids.  Going out drinking and stuff.”  That feels like so long ago, before the war came in as an unwelcome interruption.  Now, sitting face to face in the restaurant booth, it’s starting to feel overwhelmingly like a date despite their gym clothes and sweaty faces.  It feels like they’ve been together for a century.  But before the war, it was in the closet.  And now, it’s an awkward domesticity.  Steve can’t drudge up a single memory of them actually going out.

“God, I barely remember that far back,” Bucky says.  “We’ve gotten old.”

The waters and coffees arrive.  Steve sees to rehydrating himself with the clear fluid before attacking the caffeine.  Bucky takes one halfhearted sip of his water, then wraps both hands around his steaming mug. The water’s still cold even though it doesn’t have ice in it.  Steve makes a mental note to ask for room-temperature next time, even though it sounds nit-picky.

The waitress comes around a moment later, and Steve selects an omelet.  Bucky goes for plain pancakes with eggs and bacon, stuttering a little over his order and training his eyes downward.

“I bet you could make that,” Steve says, pointing at an advert on the wall for pumpkin French toast.  Now that his menu’s gone, Bucky’s picking at a crack in the tabletop, and Steve’s reaching to give him a distraction.  Bucky’s recent infatuation with the Food Network seems like a good choice.

“I bet it’s too sweet, though,” Bucky says, looking up at the pile of whipped cream and candied pecans topping the image of orange-brown toast triangles.

“But if you made it yourself, you could have it be however sweet you wanted,” Steve reminds him.

“Hm,” Bucky muses.  “Might be fun.  We could have breakfast for dinner, maybe for Halloween…”

“Yeah, I’d been meaning to ask, what do you want to do this year?  How’re you feeling about the doorbell and stuff?” Steve poses, draining his water glass.

Bucky looks into his coffee cup.  Last year, Steve’d tried putting up a sign imploring trick-or-treaters to skip their door.  He and Bucky’d ended up sitting against the wall in the master bedroom listening to the doorbell ring on and off for the entire evening.

“I don’t know…” Bucky says.  “I’m not…really wanting to do the same thing again.”

“I could ask Clint if they get a lot of traffic in their neighborhood.  Since it’s a lot more rural than here,” Steve suggests.  “Or we could get a hotel.”  He raises his eyebrows suggestively.

“Didn’t know it was that kind of holiday,” Bucky jokes.

Service is quick in the almost-empty restaurant, and their steaming breakfast plates arrive.  The waitress generously refills their coffee mugs and leaves a collection of ketchup and hot sauce on the edge of the table.  Steve adds some condiments to his hash browns, then tucks in.  The workout’s left him famished. Bucky’s slower in his attack on the eggs and bacon, but nods enthusiastically when Steve asks if his meal is good.

Bucky switches back and forth between his savory plate and his pancakes.  Steve directs him to the little cart of flavored syrups.  “The original’s probably the least sweet,” Steve says.  “But there are fruit-flavored ones, too.”

Bucky scoots down the length of the booth to investigate, accidentally knocking his napkin off the edge of the table as he moves.  He’s about to change directions and lean down to pick it up when one of the young men from the drunk table passes by, likely on his way to the bathroom.  His foot lands squarely on the white paper napkin, and he slips, reaching blindly for anything to break his fall.

It’s no use.  The young man hits the floor, along with the ketchup and Steve’s coffee cup.  The sound of glass shattering mixes with swearing, and the waitress rushes over to pull the kid off the floor and survey the damage.

Steve looks at Bucky, who’s wide-eyed and ghostly pale.  “I…what did…?  I didn’t mean…” Bucky’s stammer-whispering.  His gaze is trapped on the young man, who’s dabbing ketchup off his jeans, and the mass of glass and ceramic and muddled red-brown liquid on the tile below.

“Buck, it’s alright,” Steve says, reaching for Bucky’s hand across the table.

Bucky retracts, hunching his shoulders.  “I didn’t…I didn’t pull the trigger,” he mutters.

“You didn’t do anything,” Steve says firmly.  He rounds the table, trying to avoid the mess on the floor. Bucky’s covering half his pallid face with his hand, and Steve reaches for both shoulders.  “Come on.  Let’s go outside for a minute.  You’re safe.  It’s ok.”

He pulls Bucky out the front door and off to the side so they can lean against the building’s brick façade.

“I didn’t meant to…to shoot him,” Bucky breathes.

“You didn’t shoot anyone,” Steve firmly reminds him.  “That was a stupid drunk kid knocking stuff on the floor.”

“It’s my fault…”

“No,” Steve says, grounding Bucky with gentle pressure on his arm and stump.  “It was an accident.  That guy wasn’t paying attention.”

Bucky tips his head back against the wall and takes a gasping breath.

“Alright, get your breath back,” Steve encourages.  “You’re at the IHOP in Falls Church.  You’re close to home.  You’re with me.  You’re gonna be ok.”

“Steve,” Bucky mutters.

“Yeah, I’m here,” Steve says.  Bucky’s white face is illuminated blue with the glow of the restaurant’s sign. His jaw’s hanging slack; Steve wonders if he’s feeling sick.

“Sorry,” Bucky whispers.

“It’s ok.  Don’t worry about anything.  You’re gonna be fine.”

“Can we…please go home?”

“Yeah, of course,” Steve says.  “We’ll have to walk.  Are you feeling up to it?”

Bucky swallows hard and nods.

“Ok,” Steve says.  Then, “You sure you’re feeling alright?”

Bucky squeezes his eyes shut and seems to battle for coherency.  “Like…kind of sick, but…still really hungry?” he tries.

Steve chuckles at the honesty, relieved Bucky’s able to get in touch with his own feelings.  “How about we take breakfast to go?”

[whooolemilk]

aaaayyyyeeee I'm bored let's do this 3, 4, 12, 13, 28, 36, 46, 48, 51, 52, 59, 63, 64, 65 *wink wink* 71, 75, 78, 83, 85, 86, 87

wowzers im just now seeing this!! hello sibling!!

3. what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

honestly anything. receipts, polaroids, sticky notes, dried flower petals, basically anything near me that can be convenient.

4. how do you take your coffee/tea?

coffee is always different depending on my mood. either i’ll just drink it black with sugar or with a bit of creamer, but tea i always take black.

12. what’s your favorite planet?

i’ve always felt a strong connection to pluto and neptune just because they’re so underrated and deserve more representation. #JusticeForPlutotune

13. what’s something that made you smile today?

im gonna be honest and say it was stucky fanfiction. i live for that cute ass shit. 

28. sunrise or sunset?

definitely sunset. my instagram is 60% sunset photos (follow me @emmaliemunson!!)

36. which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

okok so the sound of harry styles mixed with the lyrics and message of paramore’s after laughter album...like...me as hell

46. tell us the worst pun you can think of

astronomers got tired of watching the moon rotate for 24 hours so they called it a day.

48. what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

fucking snakes. and yes it’s still the same. i actually cringe just thinking about them.

51. think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

ribs by lorde (:

52. what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

i am in LOVE with the Redbone memes. my favorite one is the mashup with the longest yeah boi ever. culture yourselves: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=po2eQsOPjYs 

59. what’s your favorite myth?

i’ve always loved greek mythology and my fav has always been of Persephone and how she became the goddess of the underworld.

63. are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

my music is all over the place, but my books are arranged by genre and from there, either from size of the book or by author. it’s weird but works for me.

64. what color is the sky where you are right now?

really fuckin blue

65. is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

ya know, i haven’t seen carol in such a long time and i would really like to hang with her right now......and my brother i guess idk....

71. what’s your favorite kind of tea?

blueberry earl grey

75. tell us about your pets!

i have a puppy who is a pain in the ass and she’s a silver lab named Lillie Joy, a brittany named Sophia who is super old and lovely, an orange cat who is super fat and bitchy named Mazy, a grey/brown/black/colorful cat named Muffett who doesn’t get enough attention, a black and white cat named Magicalmistermistoffelees who we call The Governor for short, and a fluffy white and kinda organey cat named Elton John who is super needy. there’s a lot of hair everywhere all the time.

78. are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

HATECLUB. MINIONS ARE NAZIS. FUCK NAZI MINIONS. 

83. what’s some of your favorite album art?

Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band by The Beatles (obv), Everything is Debatable by Hellogoodbye, For Emma, Forever Ago by Bon Iver, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road by Elton John, Rumors by Fleetwood Mac

85. do you read comics? what are your faves?

i don’t really read comics unless i’m looking for something specific to the MCU, but i do like graphic novels! right now i’m reading the Snowpiercer trilogy bc it’s my favorite movie

86. do you like concept albums? which ones?

Rumors by Fleetwood Mac and their self-titled albums (they go hand-in-hand) are the best concept album ever and no one will tell me otherwise. 

87. what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

Snowpiercer, Dirty Dancing, Pretty in Pink, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Labyrinth, Atonement, V for Vendetta, Black Swan

[oxyntes]

thank you @jedicharlesxavier for tagging me <3 

RULES: copy this post into a new text post, remove my answers and put in yours, and when you are done tag up to 10 people.

A - AGE: 100 today 20 

B - BIGGEST FEAR: ignorance

C - CURRENT TIME: 15:15

D - DRINK YOU LAST HAD: herbal tea (i’m getting sick)

E - EVERY DAY STARTS WITH: me waking up in panic because i woke up later than i’d hoped

F - FAVORITE SONG: * 

G - GHOSTS, ARE THEY REAL: yes

H - HOMETOWN: london, uk

I - IN LOVE WITH: nature, books

J - JEALOUS OF: people who get to travel the world (i don’t get jealous much tbh)

K - KILLED SOMEONE: i wish hahah  no

L - LAST TIME YOU CRIED: i don’t remember. internally, rn

M - MIDDLE NAME: i don’t have one

N - NUMBER OF SIBLINGS: 3

O - ONE WISH: that all ignorant people were wiped out overnight :))

P - PERSON YOU LAST CALLED/TEXTED: someone in a group chat

Q- QUESTION YOU’RE ALWAYS ASKED: where are you from?

R - REASON TO SMILE: uni doesn’t allow you that

S - SONG LAST SANG: i was just listening to it ain’t me by kygo ft. selena gomez

T - TIME YOU WOKE UP: 10:30-ish

U - UNDERWEAR COLOR: black

V - VACATION DESTINATION: EVERY. SINGLE. COUNTRY.

W - WORST HABIT: existing????

X - X-RAYS YOU’VE HAD: hand and ribs/stomach area

Y - YOUR FAVORITE FOOD: cereal (like any without rasins or dried fruit in it)

Z - ZODIAC SIGN: gemini - Rules: List 5 OTP’s from 5 fandoms and tag 10 people to pass it on.

1st: nikolai/alina from the grisha trilogy

2nd: pynch from trc

3rd: pepperony (marvel)

4th: stucky (marvel)

5th: bellarke (the 100)

-

R U L E S: Once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you 

L A S T…

Drink: water

Last phone call: lol i don’t talk on the phone

Last text message: from a group chat

Last song I listened to:  black magic by the amazons

Last time I cried: always crying internally

H A V E Y O U E V E R…?

Been cheated on: no

Kissed someone and regretted it: I’ve never kissed anyone 

Been depressed: i guess...

Been drunk and thrown up: drinking is haraam™

Kissed a stranger: nope

Drank hard liquor:  drinking is haraam ™

Lost glasses/contacts: i lose my glasses all the time

Been arrested: no

Turned someone down: n/a

Cried when someone died: no?? i don’t feel anything but i have expereinced death of close relatives

Fallen for a friend: nein

I N T H E P A S T Y E A R, H A V E Y O U …?

Made a new friend: yeah (although i still don’t know if they like me haha)

Laughed until you cried: yes

Met someone who changed you: no

Found out who your true friends were: still trying to find that out...

Found out someone was talking about you: in a good way or bad way...?

G E N E R A L

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life: like 3??

Do you have any pets: no

Do you want to change your name: no i like it

What time did you wake up this morning: 9-ish?

What were you doing last night: reading a pynch fic/tumblr/twitter

Name something you cannot wait for: summer (not because of the weather but because i will be free from uni)

Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i don’t know? probably 

What’s getting on your nerves rn: not nerves but anxiety about my dissertation proposal (uni sucks)

Blood type: B+

Nicknames: i don’t have one???

Relationship status: SINGLE *throws confetti* <-- haha bea

Zodiac sign: gemini <-- same!!!

Pronouns: she/her

Favourite tv show: i have too many

Hair colour: black/dark brown

Long or short: short

Crushes: hayley atwell (i just love her sm), chris evans, lewis tan, thomas mcdonell and like so many other people

Tattoos: no 

Righty or lefty: left

F I R S T S…

First surgery: never

First piercing: my ears

First best friend: i’ve never had one i think?

First sport you joined: i did netball once

First vacation: pakistan (which wasn’t even a vaction~?)

R I G H T N O W…

Eating: nothing

Drinking: nothing

I’m about to: start some reading/do some research

Listening: nothing

Want kids: idk

W H I C H I S B E T T E R?

Lips or eyes: eyes

Hugs or kisses: hugs

Shorter or taller: taller

Older or younger: older

Sensitive or loud: sensitive

Hook up or relationship: relationship

Troublemaker or hesitant: both???

D O Y O U B E L I E V E ?

Miracles: yeah

Love at first sight: no

Heaven: yes

Santa Claus: no

thanks bea for tagging meand sorry it took longer than than expected!

i tag (you can do one of these or all): @toujovrspur @bramgrcenfeld @alina-starkcv @magqneto @enchvntress @jaxgardnr @benvcliomontague @virtuestars @naeshiem @nateschucks