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okay maybe I should seriously reconsider my path in life and sell my soul to marketing or journalism instead
#okay venting in the tags you are very welcome to ignore or not respond to it i just need to yell somewhere#i always thought id be an art therapist because well i care about people and want to help them and love art#but everyday i wake up feeling like a fraud and an imposter so like. should i really be doing all that when im not entirely#certain i cpuld handle it??? like i know i haven't gotten the meaty bit of the education towards that yet but like#university costs a disgusting amount of money here and if i pick the wronf thing im likely doomed forever thanks to awful government#i know things could get better like they did after thatcher but honestly im not putting any bets on it considering how the current labour#party is so like if i fuck up here im basically dead#also can i actually do art uni. like could i cope with that. im deeply unethused with art at the moment and honestly will i evwr be#idk#it was jusr a thing i always did but education around it is fucking soul sucking#also the emotional weight of hearing and solving people's problems as a therapist. i would consider myself quite empathetic for the most#part i feel other people's pain quite strongly and obviously as a therapist id be feeling that quite a bit so could i actually cope with it?#ik therapists have therapists but still#i mean im doing work experience at an occupational therapy place so ill just be extra inquisitive about it all to make sure im going#the way i wanna#I'll be fine by the end of a levels ill probably understand what i want in life#if not then gap year to work it out#should probably look at unis for english language too then#sigh#ucas website i may as well marry you#ill be okay im getting in my head about stuff im actually pretty good at art even if there are things i can improve on (like patience lol)#yeah maybe the voice telling me i suck doesnt know shit and should shut up#yeah#shut it nasty voice you're wrong actually!!! im doing just fine and you're being overly critical#they should make a brain that's your friend and not mush that hides the amalgamation of every bad thing ever in its crevices#crevices shoyild be filled with kindness and love.#sex jokes about that#why the fuck is yahoo mail syncing i dont use you you washed up search engine#bue waffling#vent post
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what if instead of messaging me in the middle of the night about your stupid fucking girlfriend and your stupid fucking problems with her you actually act like my fucking friend and message me like how you message everyone else in our group
#bye ignore my venting bigger problems what fucking ever#im sick of her ass she only messages us for us to help her with her fucking girlfriend problems like we arent even friends atthis fckn point#and i love her shes so funny whatever but god shes literally the worst because i just want to be friends i dont fucking care ab her goddamn#selfish ass gf thats shes obsessed with. be obsessed tell me about it but cant we be friends ab other stuff too#we used to be her 'favorite friend' cause we shared so many interests and we hung around what fucking ever but fuck that right#get a gf and just use us to help better yalls relationship without even telling her you're sharing her private msgs w us huh yeah sure#what fucking ever im so done with this bitch and i cant even get my contacts out cause i have long nails and im js poking my eye#AND SHE WOULD NEVER BE SORRY if our friendship fell apart she would tell everyone i was jealous of her gf or what ever i literally dont care#she was like an older sister before i dont get why getting a gf would have to change shit like ok good for u but what ab us#what about me its not even fucking fair like is it that hard to keep up w ur friends?? NO its fucking not#taking me so long to write a post bc im still fucking helping her with her stupid dumb selfish idiotic gf omfg#just BREAK UP i literally dont fucking care just leave her if she makes u unhappy its literally online tf is she gonna do to u nothing omfg#why am i the one being punished when shes the one with the stupid dumb gf that hates her and herself i dont fucking care i js want m friend#and i cant tell any of our mutual friends cause she dont do that to them its js me so itd be like im being dramatic#and like shit i guess i am but i dont care atp thats all she ever talks to me ab like ok i get it i helped u but stop jfc#but if i said that we'd never talk again bc what fucking ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! cause im just dramatic whatever#if u cant resolve these simple problems of communication on ur own then maybe u shouldnt be in a relationship idk js my thoughts! die#sry the 1 person who knows what xactly i mean is asleep and im so tired of getting late night msgs being like hii can u help me SHUT UP#id love to help if we were actually still fucking friends but we arent so js leave me alone bruh#post#nickpost#will delete in morning my mom keeps telling me to put my phone down bt i need 2 say smfh 2 some1#i hate change i hate slight differences in my normal day to day i hate everything i hate not having smth to rely on i hate change i hate it#sry im alg now im js sick of her ass js leave bruh#nimbhe my moms yelling im tired anyway i need to js isolate myself forever no problems if im on an island alone#living my best life in the shade drinking idk water or whatever and just talking to myself bc who even needs friends right!!!!!!!!#its 11:11 make a wjsh#adding more cz whatever im deleting this ltr anyway#its so clear where i stand with everyone cause its always close but not close enough friendly but not friends and i guess its the same w her#bye im out of tags etc whatever nobody matching my freak ever never comfortable in any friendships
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told myself that i dont care for any of the goo/d ome/ns theories out there but for some reason my brain just went
#season 2 spoilers in the tags so :3#i really suck at theories because i just like to ignore details of canon that i dont like but ill let you read it in the tags anyways#even if it makes me nervous im just a silly goofy guy you know#silly goofy guy syndrome#okay#so#directly from my dms with my fiance (who knows very little about go od ome ns#begin#you know how aziraphale left crowley on earth to go be the supreme archangel of heaven#what if crowley had been the original supreme archangel but was cast out alongside satan and his cohorts on a technicality or something#like he was just chilling and got caught up with the wrong crowd#and thats why the other demons dont really trust crowley. cause he was the fuckin supreme archangel#and when gabriel left that was them introducing the concept of the supreme archangel position being a semi fluid position#also a lot of people headcanon that crowley used to be raphael cause he doesnt show up with the other archangels weve seen in the bible#crowley has also been seen having extremely op abilities when compared to others in the show (ie bending reality and time with the snap of#maybe they can all do that idk i only remember crowley doing insane shit with time#also when he transported him aziraphale satan and adam into the VOID#and then seeing aziraphale take his old position just adds more salt to the wound of him leaving crowley behind#because besides believing heaven is too corrupt to be fixed- it hurts to think that aziraphale could possiblly fix heaven#but crowley couldnt when he was rhe archangel#i know its silly but this was just beamed into my head like a message from god#except its my hyperfixation and autism just shaking hands
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someone talking about the ways media and common tropes/depictions of things that are either explicitly or implicitly linked to marginalized people are demonized and presented badly is not a fucking opportunity for you to flex how you're doing it Differently And Better
#I'll rb the post but I domt want to add it on cause it feels. Not my place maybe#Anyway fun fact! You can think that all you fucking want! Close your God damn mouth about it and figure out if it actually adds to the#Conversation! Marginalized ppl don't have to hear about how you're hashtag Not Like The Others!!! TAKE IN THE INFORMATION AND CONSIDER IF#THE THINGS YOU DO TRULY DEFY STEREOTYPES OR ARE STILL IMPLICITLY INSPIRED BY THESE BIASES!!! AND DO IT QUIETLY OR WITH SOMEONE WHOS WILLING#TO LISTEN! NOT ON THE POST INFORMING YOU OF THE PROBLEMS EXISTENCE#Also I'd move this tag up but genuinely idk if I can do that atm. But I'm LITERALLY guilty of the same shit. I immediately jump to no true#Scotsman the subject because I want to defend it!!! Yes I recognize the pattern is wrong and yes I genuinely believe it isn't necessarily#Inherent! But I still have to confront the fact that it's so prominent and to many people inseparable from the subject#(That being disability and body horror). I will say: my immediate instinct was to disregard any body horror that is just like Real Shit Tha#Happens To People as body horror but that's not helpful! I can't just say well it's not body horror BECAUSE PEOPLE STILL CALL AND SEE IT AS#BODY HORROR!!! I HAVE TO STOP AND CONSIDER THE LARGER IMPLICATIONS. My PERSONAL OPINIONS do not matter and the pedantic discussion is#Something to be had with friends or used as it's own criticism of the genre not ON THE POST CALLING OUT A REAL ISSUE! Anyway just.#Both artists and consumers have to be critical of What we see as body horror/what others tell us is body horror/what we accept as body#Horror bc/what we create as body horror etc. We NEED to confront that and we can't just say I Wouldn't Do That! We need to understand that#It goes deeper than that!!! Also YOU DONT INHERENTLY KNOW WHATS POSSIBLE FOR A HUMAN TO EXPERIENCE#There's so many things that ppl can experience and Live With! There are obviously things that are fatal so u rarely hear abt them but human#Beings can survive a lot of things!!! And here's the thing: the rarer something is the shittier it feels to have it misrepresented!!!#At the very basic level: CHECK IF THE THING YOU WANT TO USE AS BODY HORROR IS A RECORDED PHENOMENON AT LEAST!!! FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK#DO THE BARE MINIMUM
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I feel a bit sick for a couple of reasons right now but I've just embarrassed myself I think.
#I just asked hollow where their head was at with us and like#they said I dont know#and then asked me so I said I was enjoying this but didnt like not knowing where their head was at#to which they just said that like. they have shit going on in their life! but they are also enjoying this#but I just kinda feel like a dick for asking because I know that. I know they're going through it. now isnt really the time for that#I just wanted to open the door to talking about us but now I feel just a bit awkward#and I wish I asked anything else#I know I'll get over this but for the next little bit I will just be uh. uncomfortable#I think I'm overthinking but im stressed bc I dont know what to say now.#like. now what?? i just go right back into cute little goodnight text??#I go back to talking to them about crabs???#idfk where to go from here#and I know I'm overthinking and this is all literally fine but like !!! help !!!!#im thinking I just say goodnight but like... I dont want them to be like. ugh idk#help ;o;#hollow#begrudgingly I add that tag
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#i know why but its fascinating to go on fb right now and see people in my county#post about hotels and free places to evacuate and what not#like i get it because if we get hit with a lot of rain and wind im certain there will be more trees down#but considering how people were just weeks ago with the last one and how rhey always are#its like yeah maybe we should take things a little more on the serious side sometimes#like great for doing it now and hopefully that continues#but yall laugh at this shit every time because we usually luck out#and idk the wording of all this or the emotions its just like#but its also like if yall are gonna joke and not take them serious still like sort of prep for it#like im not saying we were or at the most prepared but we have have a decent amount of food and water and some other drinks#plus we have a grill if theres some non rain that we could use to cook etc#my parents lost power and had i think little to no food they could just eat#and i kno they didnt have water because they dont drink it in the same way menand this house does#i mean they didnt lose theres so theres that and they have like a well and stuff so presumabley maybe a little safer than city water but idk#but they just kept complaining about all the food going to waste#they eventually bought a small charcol grill and cooked something on it#and they survived well enough so maybe they did have some sort of food but i also think they went out#and ate somewhere#idk#how many people were like that around here because they didnt want to consider#that we would actually lose power#and now everyone is acting like the most on fb about prepping and what not#again i get it but... idk#tag rambles#dont mind me
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Ok, the boss is no more! There were some super stressful moments but surprisingly we all survived o:
My animal companion got hit with disintegrate, but we had hero points to make him avoid it. I would cry actually, because disintegrate means no resurrection x_x
The war is prevented! At least this one, because Cayden's party is right at the center of a much bigger one just starting. Today we saved the country. Cayden is trying to not even save the whole world, just maybe slow the whole thing down and save as much people as possible...
#majek says shit#I have the diamond for a raise animal companion spell but it can only be used if you have a body and even then there are restrictions#and Kela wouldn't even know about it until after the fight because she got trapped between a wall of force and a stone golem?#or a stone Big Humanoid Fucker idk what that technically was but it would've killed me pretty fast#and it all was in an area of supernatural darkness emanating from the powergamer's character...#which interfered with so much of everyone else's actions and we even addressed it before the session that it's a bad idea to cast this#but its ok because HE will be able to see through it and HE won't be targeted easily:))))#he also almost ended the encounter in the first round of proper combat...#by using mechanics so outrageous but technically ambiguous enough that our GM can't deny them by using only RAW...#and he prefers to settle arguments by going as RAW as possible...#and it wasn't a problem until now when we have a player who exploits to an actually unbelievable extent#we shared our character sheets online yesterday and I finally saw his... still have no idea how the character works#because like half the stuff is custom and missing from the app#he has 9 AC in the app and allegedly 32 AC before buffs...#and the GM says the math checks out but 1. nobody saw that math besides him and 2. so far he trusted that player without too much questions#and only recently he actually realised he's been manipulated multiple times when me and some others started dismantling that players actions#I so hope this was the last session with that person#the worst thing is I think he's an ok guy when I'm not playing any kind of game with him#and I understand different people find enjoyment in different aspects of games - his being figuring out how far he can go with the rules#and there are whole groups of people who like to play like that and enjoy the challenge of making the most broken “build” possible#but the rest of the group are not that kind of people. maybe some like to have fun with researching what's possible#but it's never the purpose of the game and these things dont find their way into the actual game#I'm actually considering the possibility of just leaving the campaign if he stays there... I know I whine a lot in the tags#about different players that get on my nerves for various reasons. it sounds like I'm never happy about anything#but our group is big and we play together as a friend group in 4 different campaigns now (I'm in 3 of them)#and every one of these smaller groups has it's issues. sometimes it's the characters not matching and sometimes different expectations#or interpersonal stuff that can be worked out. this here is not a group composition issue because the powergaming attitude is everywhere#it's impossible to talk casually between sessions and confronting the guy leads to like actual temper tantrums#literally said “the fuck do I care if the party dies I'm not gonna be useful anymore” after the GM gave him feedback to maybe ease it up#he never says things like that when the gm or me are present but we still get info. he just can't be confronted by the gm like that
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I was talking to my girlfriend and she said that she just goes through a tag and sometimes it's hard to find good fics if the fandom is too big or if there's too many fanfics.
So, idk how anyone else does it, but here's my "how to find good fics and lose yourself in madness" guide:
Open our trusted and beloved ao3 on the fandom/ship tag what you wanna read about. Or other site you prefer, but this works best for ao3, I'm old, idk how to deal with wattpad nonsense, sorry
Go through the filters <- LISTEN HERE KIDS, THIS IS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE!!! FILTER THE CONTENT U DONT WANNA SEE PLS FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH
Find a fic that you like. I tend to stick to long ones, so I filter the word count as well but you do you
Read the fic; kudo the fic; comment on the fic; bookmark the fic; even better, and/or DOWNLOAD THE ONES YOU WANNA READ AGAIN (you never know what the future might bring and again IF THE AUTHOR DELETED THEIR STUFF ITS NONE OF OUR BUSINESS)
Then open the author's profile, click on works AND FILTER IT AGAIN THIS IS IMPORTANT!!! YOUR FAV AUTHORS CAN WRITE WHATEVER THE SHIT THEY WANT AND YOU'RE NOT ENTITLED TO COMPLAIN, JUST MOVE ON
Read all the fics that they wrote for the fandom you're hyperfixating rn, and again, kudo/comment/bookmark/download
Go to the Author's bookmarks. Because we USUALLY write what we like to read, so the author's bookmarks will probably have fics that, if you liked their fics, you gonna like them too.
FILTER. FILTER THE ONES YOU DON'T WANNA READ. USE THE EXCLUDE TAGS FILTER FOR THE LOVE OF-
Read all the fics the author had bookmarked
Find a new author that you liked.
Go back to step 4.
Congratulations, you're late for work/school/family gathering/any other appointments you might have.
Have fun!
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OH I SEE YOURE TAKING REQUESTS...what about emo!wanda x emo!reader but wanda is like >:( and reader is more ^_^ happy and then reader is best friend's bucky and wanda is so jealous. idk it can be fluff or smut !! ( i tried to be a little more specific
Jealousy
Pairing: wanda x female reader
Tags Minors DNI: smut, wanda in a skirt, fingering (R receiving), little arguing, jealousy!
A/N: Hiii anon! Thank you soo much for your request!! It's been a busy week sorry for being late, but I hope this is okay and you enjoy jealous Wanda 😊
Wanda knows deep down that you would never cheat on her. She knows how much you loved her, how much you cared about her. In the time she's spent here at the Avengers campus, she's only ever taken a real liking to you, not interested in truly getting to know the others. And you, thankfully, gave her everything she needed.
But right now, she couldn't help the heavy feeling in her chest as she watched you with your best friend.
She stood with her arms crossed, biting down on her lip so hard it may just bleed, staring at you and Bucky. Wanda watches as your hand touches his arm, your head thrown back in a fit of laughter. He smiles at you with fond eyes, and oh, she can't take it anymore.
"Having fun?" She asks, words coming out more bitterly than she had planned.
"Wanda!" You say, and the way you beam at her almost makes her feel guilty. Then Bucky turns too, with his arm slung around your shoulder.
"Come to join in? We could actually use your help. It turns out both of us are shit at baking," Bucky jokes, and you both laugh, looking at the mess around the kitchen.
Your smile fades, though when you see the seriousness in Wandas face. Buckys arm slowly slides off of you, scratching his head awkwardly in the silence. Wanda tilts her head and okay, you were fucked.
"Actually, you know," Bucky clears his throat and looks at the time. "I was supposed to meet Steve for training a little bit ago." His metal arm pats your shoulder, giving you a good luck look before walking out of the kitchen.
"Baby... what's wrong?" You frown and walk around the counter to her, your hands moving up to her shoulders. She shrugs you off, crossing her arms. "What's your problem?" You ask, annoyed she was pushing you away.
"What's my problem?" Wanda spits out, a sarcastic laugh leaving her lips. "My problem is you two are always all over each other! He's always looking at you like he wants to fuck you!"
"That's not true!" You defend, raising your voice to match hers. "Bucky is my best friend, that's it! That's all we've ever been, all we will be."
"Right, okay. You're literally always hanging out with him, I dont see why you have to spend so much time together." She rolls her eyes.
"We're friends!"
"Friends don't eye fuck the other friend! Don't be so stupid."
Your eyes widen at her words.
"Sorry you don't have any friends to hangout with because you fucking hate everyone." You cross your arms, dishing it out as she does.
"Fuck you," Wanda replies.
"Just because you're jealous doesn't mean you have to take it out on me."
Her eyes shoot daggers at you.
"Jealous? I am not jealous." She seethes, taking a step forward. Your back hits the counter as you take a step back, her usually soft green eyes dark as she peers into yours.
"You are so jealous." You bite your lip, taking in her angry appearance. She wore your zip-up jacket over her shirt, a dark skirt around her hips. Her fingernails were still black from when she painted them the other day.
Wanda doesn't speak, she only takes another step, pressing her chest against yours. The tension between the two of you built up with every word spoken.
"I'm not jealous, Y/N. You want to know why?" She asks, her hands move to the counter behind you, trapping you in her presence. You only look up in reply, with a questioning look. "Because you're mine. And if I have to remind you of that again, I will."
Wandas eyes flash red, and you feel yourself being lifted a few inch onto the counter.
"Wanda, what are you-" You look around the empty kitchen and to her, who is now level face to face. Her hands moved to your thighs, spreading them apart, and you've never been more grateful for stealing one of her shorter skirts this morning.
"What if someone walks in?" You ask, feeling the wetness pool in your panties at the way she kisses your neck.
"Hopefully, it'll be him." She mumbles, and your cheeks burn red at the possibility. You feel her fingers slide your soaked panties to the side. You grip onto the jacket she wore, pulling her as close as possible.
"So wet, detka... tell me who made you this way," Wanda whispers, and you feel her fingers dip inside of you easily. You bite back a moan as she begins to move them.
"You, Wanda.. fuck - just you," you lean forward, pressing your face against her neck as she fingers you right there.
"Don't hide those pretty moans, let me hear you."
"I'm yours!" You moan out.
"Say it again."
"I'm yours, Wanda," you pant against her skin, her fingers thrusting inside of you at a quicker pace. When you feel her thumb press against your clit you feel that familiar burn in the pit of your stomach.
"Nobody else is allowed to touch you like this except for me." She whispers against your neck and bites down, marking you as hers. You nod desperately, holding onto her as tight as you can.
"Baby, I-I'm so close," you moan into her ear as her fingers work inside of you, and she smirks at the delightful whimpers that leave your lips.
"That's my good girl... let go detka. Tell them who you belong to," she says, forcing your head out of the crook of her neck. Her grip is strong in your hair, and your legs tremble around her. It's not long before you pathetically are moaning, "Wanda!" Into the kitchen, releasing onto her fingers, your panties now drenched.
Wanda takes all you have and removes her fingers from inside you, slipping them into her mouth. Her eyes burn red at the taste, and she pulls you into a heated kiss, making you taste yourself on her tongue.
You pull back to catch your breath, letting your head hit her shoulder hard. She chuckles at how cute you were and wraps her arms around you, you do the same. The two of you hold each other for a moment as you sit on the counter still.
"I'm sorry, for saying what I said..." Wanda says, her voice soft. Your fingers move in circles on her back.
"I know... I'm sorry, too. I promise there's nothing going on between us. I love you so much." You kiss her jaw, and she smiles.
"I don't hate everyone, you know," she jokes, lightening the mood. "I especially love you."
You can't help but laugh, pulling back to see the now playful look on her face. Wandas soft spot for you made your chest swell, you loved how different she treated you.
"You only love me," you giggle and kiss her nose. She groans and rolls her eyes.
"Fine, you're right," she chuckles and leans forward to give you a sweet kiss.
A noise from behind you pulls you from her kiss, you see Bucky standing in the doorway clearing his throat. You hop off the counter, feeling Wandas arm wrapp protectively around your waist.
"Forgot my phone," he says with a hint of pink on his cheeks and points to the phone next to you. You watch as the phone glows red, and it's suddenly floating in the air towards him. He catches it as it drops in front of him.
You turn to Wanda, watching her eyes return to green with an unbothered look on her face.
"You know, you kinda really scare me. I like it," Bucky says to Wanda, a smile taking over his face. You groan and put a hand over your face. Wanda can't help the smirk on her face, satisfied with herself as the man leaves with a wave.
"Happy?" You ask, turning to look at her satisfied smirk. You take her hand in yours, feeling the cool metal of her rings against your fingers.
"Very," she beams down at you, kissing your cheek.
#marvel#wanda maximoff#wanda x reader#wanda maximoff x reader#wanda x you#wanda x fem!reader#civil war wanda#wanda in a skirt ahhhhh#scarletlizzard asks#thank you anon!!!
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okay I had the strangest experience because I watched the first 3 episodes and went "this is great! a little silly but thats to be expected, no where near as bad as season 3" and then the last 3 episodes happened !! anyways
thoughts/take aways :
ty for letting them say fuck
aidan gallagher get out of the writers room and get a girlfriend
baby shark, seriously, that was at least 4 years ago
lila character assasination is CRAZY omg. she would never?? do anything with five 😭 her and five have hated eachother this entire time no matter how many years they were in a train station she would not get w his dusty ass
I dont understand how this happened except somehow aidan got leverage with the plot bc the GREENHOUSE?? SHOTS??? ARE LIKE IDENTICAL?? TO HIS WEIRD INSTAGRAM SELF INSERT FIC?? i hate this boy, get ur hands off my tua
also generally the way they have Lila act abt her family??? idk it feels like such a bland plotline to make her and diego hate being parents
the chubby jokes about diego are also crazy
the fives scene was so cringey 😭 i see what u were going for but it literally just gave citadel of ricks it was not good, and the rain man joke.
the plotline of klaus getting kidnapped was genuinely crazy to toss in there and play for jokes, they only acted like it was serious when the guy threatened allison like no he has been sex trafficking the hargreeves on screen for an entire episode
also while klaus being really paranoid of dying without his powers COULD have been a good plot line I feel like they did not do it well and it just ended up feeling like promoting his addiction
that goop ending was really weird, why'd they get gooped, what if they all died normally no goop involved, they window breaking shot was cool just have that massive monster kick their asses why goop
why did they imply Viktor is like treating all the women in town badly in the first episode 😭 viktor has NEVER acted like this. like please let trans men be GOOD men it doesnt men them girly to not treat women like shit
they act like sloan died and then never elaborated on it???
please explore why raymond left allison and fire aidan gallagher
klaus immediately going for the dog tags was actually rlly sweet almost cried
the two seconds of young apocalypse five were the best moments of the whole season
plot holes bc i was gonna be nice but you did this to yourself :
why is everyone calling it marigold like its not just random thing harlan came up with
"power up" THIS IS NOT WHAT ANY OF UR POWERS LOOKED LIKE UNTIL RN WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING
and fives jumps are purple??? for the reason of ??? ??? why??
and WHY THE HELL DOES LILA HAVE LaZER EYES. ALL THEIR POWERS ARE LIKE THEIRS BUT SLIGHTLY DIF/MORE POWERFUL AND SHES JUST GOT LAZER EYES 😭
why were lila and five living like they were in the apocalypse in that train station when they clearly could pop up and time travel around??? like go up take a shower, time travel to sometime with stores, buy some meat, why are you hunting rats, theres literally a deli in there
also they were in there for SEVEN YEARS and never saw another five until the last episode????
I also really heavily doubt it would take five 7+ years to figure out the train system
also the way allison pours the marigold directly into klaus' wound and it just works 😭 how does it work both by drinking it AND ALSO BY POURING IT DIRECTLY IN A MANS GUNSOHT WOULD
what? was going on w Sy Grossman ?? did we ever figure that out?? did they just kill him off and leave us wondering?? why did he say he was Jennifers dad? was he actually with the Keepers? was he just working for Abigail?? no fucking clue
one of the hargreeves (i think luther) called bens death the jennifer incident in s3,,,, but they did not know the girls name and also allegedly had their memories wiped???? okay,,,
also i thought sparrow ben KNEW jennifer already cuz he had her name in his journal or whatever?? but now he doesn't???
why was she in the squid 😭 ?
honestly im sure theres more ive forgotton but omg, that was not good 😭
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Do you ever love a character so much you sorta steal your entire personality from them,,
<autism rant>
Cuz like I'm obsessed with Nicole from class of '09, if sorta stolen my whole humor from her, Which isn't really a good thing because shes kinda a piece of shit, the game revolves around her being a horrible person or trying to kill herself or something like that, I'm not like as mentally ill as her, but my humor has evolved to be similar to Nicole and ive sorta had this not care attitude. I've also been really jokingly mean to one of my best friends (he knows its a joke, thats our humor) but I accidentally did that to my little brother and felt SO bad lmao,, (he said something very obviously and I loudly go "yeah no fucking shit bitch" then started apologizing profusely) This other time I was playing blooket w/ that same friend and I did something that made him eat a fake burger and I went really loud "have this fucking burger you fat ass bitch" and hje just stared at me like wtf,, and the other person on the call (who I just met) was SHOCKED.
i'm not a bad person,, hes okay with me making those jokes btw
well im sorta a bad person but i'm working on that
i sorta hate having obsessions over character because i want to BE THEM. and it sucks even more when theyre a horrible person--and when theyre a girl,, cuz like i want to de-transition and become a terrible person and chane my name to Nicole WHAT THE FUCK WHY I DONT KNOW and like i had an alt acc on tiktok where i used she/her and named myself nicole and it was like a class of 09 fanpage sorta. and like i dont wanna be a bad person nor do i wanna hurt people feelings or be addicted to drugs AT ALL but like NICOLE🙏🙏🙏
this always happens when i have some sort of obsession. i dont typically have favorites but when i do its like an obsession
and like one other problem with being obsessed with nicole is i accidentally obsess over mental illness and (stuff i shouldnt obsess over), wich is really bad and unhealthy.
I gain little obsessions over certain things, like right now im REALLY obsessed with a game called "bad parenting" and it's a really really sad game. I wont spoil it but its genuinelly depressing and made me cry. after i saw it i wanted to hug my dad and tell him i loved him for being a good dad. ive been listening to the backround song on repeat for a bit, i might even draw fanart of it idk,, but i feel like i shouldnt be hyper obsessed with it
as a kid i also was really obsessed with "salad fingers" wich had a sadish theme to it, i kinda forget the plot but i thought it was interesting and how the main charecter was kinda messed up.
I also really like "little miss fortune" wich was also really sad. again i dont remember the plot my childhood is sorta a blur and i dont remember it well
"Sally face" is another sad game i liked. not gonna spoilt it but i loved the supernatural bit and there was a lot of death.
I also really love horror movies, ESPECIALLY horror movies that go into psychology. Like for example, saw is pretty interesting because its cool to see if people would rather cut of an arm or die. I know it's fake but it's still really cool.
Theres a lot i find interesting but i dont wanna sound like im actually insane lol
This ran went in so many placed i forgot what the original post was about😭 took me abt 2 and 1/2 class period to wright
If you read this all, thanks! If you relate reblog or comment (or make a new post and tag me) and tell me what charecter you relate to/obsess over
#midwest emo teen#midwest emo kid#midwest emo music#midwestern emo#midwest emo#midwest#emo kid#emo#nicole class of 09#jecka class of 09#class of 09#class of '09#i'm litterly nicole from class of 09 i dont care what anybody says I AM HER#mental illness#horror#bad parenting#saw franchise#salad fingers#sally face#little miss fortune
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Yall the angst decided to hit me at 12am LMAO, but here's a lil spoiler for Partners in Crime (kinda a draft cause idk which girl is which and when, etc)
Tw: whoring, screaming, mental breakdown of the 1800s, abuse of consent.
"Do you honestly think you know what's good for him!?" Violet shouted, her blade in hand as she faced Dulcinea. She had been busy chopping off bits of her hair in the middle of a breakdown because of what she had been doing to keep herself distracted. She couldn't do big chunks of her hair, no no no. They didn't like that. They liked long luscious hair.
"Why, yes, in fact, Ms. Evans, I do," She had calmly replied, glancing down at the chops of what used to be Violet's dead ends.
"WELL YOU FUCKING DONT. YOU DONT KNOW SHIT ABOUT BILLY; HAS HE TOLD YOU ANYTHING ABOUT HIS HOME LIFE? ABOUT HIS MA? WHY HE TURNED TO THE OUTLAW LIFE IN THE FIRST PLACE?!" She screamed, feeling the hot tears roll down her cheeks. She couldn't take it anymore. The multiple women, the insistence from Billy that a certain woman was "the" one. Violet had enough. She was tired of it; she wanted Billy for herself and was the only one who could see that he was hurting or trying to distract himself when something was on his mind.
"I HAVE TRIED, TRIED, AND TRIED TO BE OKAY AROUND YOU- BE DECENT, LIKE JESSE ASKED. BE RESPECTFUL, BUT YOU DONT DO THE SAME TO BILLY. YOU DONT RESPECT HIM, YOU JUST THINK HES HOT. HES A PERSON TOO, HES GOT A GOOD HEART, WONDERFUL INTENTIONS, AND MORE PASSION THAN ANY OF THE MEN IVE BEEN LETTING USE MY BODY."
"You been what...?" Came a familiar voice and both women looked. Billy.
Violet felt fear well up in her throast. He wasnt supposed to know.
She immediately shut the bathroom door in his and Dulcinea's faces, and locked it shut. She heard muffled arguing between Dulcinea and Billy yet all she could do was cry. She slid down to the floor, leaning against the door and sobbed her heart out to herself. Billy knew now what she was doing to help them get by while being outlaws. That wasn't the plan-Billy was never supposed to find out.
She had been whoring her body for older men to fuck. To abuse until they couldn't finish anymore. All to keep food coming.
Violet's tears eventually came to a stop and so did Billy's and Dulcinea's arguing. It was silent for a while before Billy's voice came back, raw from yelling, only to speak softly to Violet.
"Vi...? Whenever you're ready, I'd like for us to talk.. about everythin', okay? No more secrets between us," He offered, only to receive two gentle raps on the door in response. He knew what that mean; they had established a system where one or two knocks meant some form of yes or no, depending on the situation. Violet meant 'Okay.'
"Do you want me to stay here and wait for you?" One rap of her knuckles against the hard wood. 'No.'
"Okay... I'll be outside. And don't worry, Dulcinea's gone and she wont be comin' back." 'Thank you, Billy.'
Tags: @etfrin @hearts4court @snows-wife @delusionalbunni @kiraflowersworld @victory-scream0462 @curled-hair-red-lips @morallygrayboys @phoward89 @xoxo-eyeballs @thereeallink @graciouslyc @acidaciruela @wanda-maximoff-enthusiast @firstworldproblemthings
#billy the kid x reader#billy the kid#billy the kid x you#billy the kid icons#billy the kid imagine#billy the kid gif#billy mccarty#billy the kid 2022#tom blyth as billy the kid#billy the kid 2022 tv drama#billy the kid tv drama#billy the kid fic#billy the kid fanfiction#billy the kid angst#billy the kid x oc angst#billy the kid smut#coriolanus x reader#coriolanus smut#coriolanus snow#coryo snow#coryo smut#tom blyth x reader#coriolanus snow fanfic#coriolanus snow fanfiction#coriolanus imagine#coriolanus fanfiction#coriolanus snow smut#coriolanus snow x reader#coriolanus x you#coryo x reader smut
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i feel like theres not a lot of great resources out there so i figured id just ask -- how would you recommend ways of living with/helping out someone else with npd? :)
youre right! most of the time when u look up NPD stuff its "THE ABUSER DISORDER: KNOW HOW TO RECOGNIZE IT AND DISABLE NARC DEFENSES SO THEY CANT TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU" which isnt. Great
all it really comes down to is listening to them n addressing their needs if they've communicated them to you. ill try to simplify it so i dont get too into details, though i will likely fail, and most of this advice will be based off my experiences, so idk how much itll apply to whoever ur talking about BUT:
generally (and w me especially) you can safely say that NPD mostly has to do with ego dysregulation. Our [as in myself and people w npd] mental health and general happiness tends to rely on how people perceive us, and if that perception is anything but positive, we feel like poopy doo doo dogshit. we kinda need to be paid attention to in a way that feels meaningful, yknow? compliment them, make sure theyre included in conversations (esp group ones), and try not to ignore em in any way. if youre talking to them and youre busy, for example, make sure you include that detail so they don't feel like youre brushing them aside. stuff like that. if they make art, and you genuinely like it, try going into detail as to why, whether its the colors or linework or what have you. if they write, tell them what you liked about the story or poem, etcetera. Tag them in stuff that reminds you of them if you have their socials, or send them things, show it to them, whatever.
lots of us tend to actually be very insecure, even if it doesn't seem that way, which might be important to keep in mind. sometimes we can get whats referred to as "narc crashes" (im not particularly a fan of the term narc, though theres nothing actually wrong with it, so ill just call it an NPD crash) where for whatever reason, we go from feeling great and secure in our egos and our stability and happiness and security to falling 600 feet down directly into hell no recovery absolutely awful 0% joy 0% light 100% agony. dogs with human teeth screaming at you and shit its really just no good. calling you a dunderhead
they usually (though not always!) come after a high where we feel fantastic, and most commonly the cause of a crash is we get hurt by someone, humiliated, or made to feel lesser in some significant way. for me, they're the worst when i no longer feel confident that people like me, and i become incredibly worried everybody secretly hates me. which is a very very very awful train of thought to be experiencing when you have the "EVERYBODY NEEDS TO LIKE ME NOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" disorder. so if ur friend seems depressed or upset make sure to ask whats going on and bump up the praise and stuff up a notch. its the best way to recover for Me, at least. crashes dont have a consistent like. timeframe? i think it highly depends on the severity of what happened and whats being done to fix it, though im certainly no psychologist lmao
i feel like when folks w npd Are mean or unfair its because their needs arent being met, theyre doing awful, and they need support so they dont desperately lash out for it. god knows thats the case for me. thats another thing thats important to keep in mind i think
a lot of traits of NPD aren't pretty, and thats just a fact of the matter. its a disorder for a reason and all. even if we dont express the almost inherently negative traits all the time (usually because we are aware they are unfair to other people), its very likely that we are feeling them, and it does erode your brain after a while. The DSM-5 list of traits is probably the best way to go for this, as per this government website:
"A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and with lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood, as indicated by at least five of the following:
Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements, expects to be recognized as superior without actually completing the achievements)
Is preoccupied with fantasies of success, power, brilliance, beauty, or perfect love.
Believes that they are "special" and can only be understood by or should only associate with other special people (or institutions).[milo note: its hard for me to find something specific to make bold in this definition, but generally, i do not express that i think that i am better than other people even if i think it]
Requires excessive admiration.
Has a sense of entitlement, such as an unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment or compliance with his or her expectations.
Is exploitative and takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends.
Lacks empathy and is unwilling to identify with the needs of others.
Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them.
Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors and attitudes."
Ive bolded the ones that would negatively affect people that, I, at least, try not to express but still feel, or feel the desire to do, near constantly.
As you can see, thats a pretty hefty chunk of them! I'm sure some people could take problem with every trait listed here, in which case they can suck my whole dick, but those are the ones I've noticed upset people the most, or make relationships the most difficult. I bring these up because if someone does express these, you need to keep in mind it is because of a personality disorder. That doesn't always make them acceptable, and if they are really upsetting, you should talk to them about it, but thats just like. basic relationship shit lmao. just try to be an eensy bit forgiving
Though the MAIN reason I wanted to bring up the traits is due to the 'entitlement/unreasonable expectation of favorable treatment/compliance' one. This can manifest in a whole lot of ways, but it is genuinely infuriating when someone ignores what i want them to do/what ive asked them to do/etc, especially if its for a reason that doesnt 'feel' solid enough, like them just not wanting to do it. it can be incredibly frustrating if someone with npd says they need something from you or want you to do xyz and it doesnt happen, so try your best to listen to them. if you cant do what they desire for whatever reason, make sure thats clear, and why. Most of us will recognize we're being unfair, but will still be mad; Just know its not because of you, its because of the disorder, and most people will not hold it against you because they're aware its unreasonable in some fashion.
i think thats like. the main things when it comes to meeting the needs of someone w NPD. to summarize and dumb it down:
make sure to compliment them in meaningful ways, especially when you really mean it
pay attention to them; try to prioritize them in conversation and such. it feels very nice. dont ignore them for the love of god
keep the crashes in mind, and try to uplift your friend as much as you can. reassure them you care about them, maybe not directly by saying "i care about you" but with your actions in general
listen to them and adapt to their needs as best as you can
remember that if they are being unpleasant its probably because of The Disorder and they are not doing well. dont let anyone be a prick to you but try to be kind. everybody goes through shit
if anyone has anything to add, or if you have any followup questions, feel free to ask ^_^ i very much didn't cover everything here, and again, this is mostly based off of my experience as someone w NPD, and everyone is different to some degree. The most important thing to do is ask about their needs, and try to adapt to them the best you can.
i think thats all i have to say for now tho so. sayanora. if i come up w anything else ill add it in an edit
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Well, I haven't seen the episode yet, but since it sounds like BloodMoon is refusing to be saved, imma go ahead and share the idea I mentioned to @twinanimatronics about how Sun could've possibly reached them.
Obviously BloodMoon wont sit still and listen so this scenario has Sun use star power to trap BM just like old moon did to him with Moon on standby to come in once the 5 minutes are up.
Basically, Sun asks them WHY they kill and hurt people and BM brings up the main three reasons: they enjoy it, they dont want to be a tool, and they hunger. Since literally none of the protags have actually asked, Sun would be surprised that theres more than the first reason and interrogate to get to the bottom of it. Cuz what Sun realizes is that BloodMoon doesnt have any deeper motives or desires because of their eternal hunger. Their ENTIRE existence has circled around violence to satisfy their hunger. They get used to satisfy their hunger. They enjoy the rip and tear because it stops the hunger.
They have always been a tool to the hunger.
So Sun offers the one thing that no one has: what if they get rid of the hunger?
BM is confused cuz all they've ever known is the hunger, and Sun has to dig the point home by explaining how they can keep killing but it'll come back, and probably stronger. They could kill everyone and everything but then the hunger will come back. And the only thing thatll be left to kill is each other.
And THAT freaks them out, because that is the only thing BloodMoon stands to lose is the brotherhood. (And while BM1 would probably race about lies and trickery, BM2 cant deny the logic)
So with BM actually realizing how their hunger endangers them, and Moon at this point just WAITING to finish them off, Sun lays down the ultimatum. Since no change of heart can happen if all they've ever known is hunger, Sun/Moon/Solar can try and remove it to and see if the twins can be rehabilitated, otherwise Moon ends them then and there.
And I love this idea so much!!! It addresses the REAL block that BM has that hasnt been brought up since that one episode where they kill the anime girl. We get to keep BloodMoon, since the creators went to the trouble of bringing them back and giving them a new model so it'd be a lil annoying if they just ended up killed again. It acknowledges how much BM has been used and brushed aside while admitting that there hasnt been much else to them. And you could have a whole rehabilitation arc, with everyone healing and BM given a real change and actual honesty, since god knows no one is gonna be mincing words. And I imagine their blood-hunger being removed ends up like the Ruin Virus a bit, where getting rid of it cuts down a LOT of the more sadistic urges. So the boys get a mostly-tamed but still-pretty-fucking-insane BloodMoon Twins that basically is just the feral crazy guy that hangs around Animal from Muppets lol and idk stays with Monty cuz hes more easygoing on the violent habits and they need to NOT be anywhere near the daycare.
And maybe I'll watch the episode and be alright with it, but it just sucks cuz this would work SO GOOD and I know the showrunners wouldn't do it. So now I've had to make this fucking long ass post and y'all hafta deal with it.
And maybe someday I'll write a drabble this and the other SAMS scenes I've imagined...
So yeah, sorry about the rambling and shit. I hate how emotionally involved I get with this show that I love. And I'll go ahead and tag @garbagechocolate out of obligation X)
#god this fucking show#thank you ceph for letting me rant earlier#apparently this needed to be released into the void so hopefully its not a bother to everyone#tsams#sams#the sun and moon show#sun and moon show#fnaf bloodmoon#sams bloodmoon#tsams bloodmoon#moonstar wont shut up
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alright i been meaning to do this so:
what is and is not allowed to be done with any of my characters! this includes art, fics, edits, headcanons, whathaveyou
[general content/trigger warning for uncomfortable, possibly-triggering topics because this is mainly the gist of what i dont want to see]
x = never ? = ask for permission
do nots: x - no noncon (if you engage to work through your feelings, never make my characters the perpetrators, it skeeves me out) ? - no genderbends/sexswaps/whatever they're called anymore? idk just don't mess with their gender, pronouns*, or assigned-sex-at-birth as a general thing unless i already have or okayed you directly. triple-especially if they're not cis x - respect their romantic orientations/sexualities! if you don't know a character's then you can ask me, but yeah. ie: don't ship andrew with women, he's homosexual x - [NSFW] absolutely no ageplay kinks or anything like that with my characters. no raceplay. just..nothing like that. x - no pregnancy. no mpreg. no omegaverse. none of it. (i've come a long way from it being straight-up a trigger but still, yea,) i have had some of my characters naturally be pregnant/have babies but i'd rather handle it myself, if you know what i mean x - this is a duh, but nothing hateful/bigoted using my characters. like, for instance, i do joke abt shit and say mainverse!entre is a conservative but don't unironically use him for anything awful like that. joking/memeing around about his terrible political stances is fine though x - i would never write or have my characters telling anyone to "kill yourself" so please don't have them say stuff like that. even if it's a joke. it makes me uncomfortable. (there may be a few exceptions in my giant roster of ocs but as a general rule just avoid it) x - never use my ocs likenesses or art of them as art for your own ocs. that's never okay. my ocs designs are for my own characters only.
*it's okay to have neopronoun headcanons
okay! generally anything i havent said isn't okay IS okay, but just so anyone reading this has a clearer idea
it's okay to use my characters for expressing yourself, venting, or just personal stuff like that. if my characters help you through something, go ahead and express it. i'm happy they help :)
playing around with gender presentation (not gender) is perfectly okay with any of my characters
shipping in general is fine as long as it doesnt go against the don'ts list. i dont care who you ship them with
[NSFW] i'm okay with pretty much any other kinks other than anything that goes into noncon, bigotry, or underage so go wild even if it's not my thing personally i don't care. (ie: the swagtre piss fic? lol im not a watersports guy but chase your bliss)
my characters are all free game for anything horror themed as well. horror as a genre, body horror, psychological horror, whatever. go for it. i have a personal major squick for eye gore but i can handle (and enjoy) pretty much anything else in this realm. go as gorey or not as you like (just tag appropriately for other ppls sakes)
handling self-harm/suicide idealization themes is technically? okay? for my characters? just uh...be respectful i guess. and definitely tag appropriately. this theme is canon for a few of them so i am okay with it just handle it with care is what i'm saying
go ham-buck-wild with mental illness headcanons or projections or anything like that. i dont think i have an oc that doesn't have at least something, so if you see yourself in their symptoms, go for it. only some of them i have personal labels for some of their stuff but otherwise it's whatever. just be respectful, again.
kinning is also okay! kin, synpath anything like that. go ahead! go wild with it. i think it's neat. just be respectful.
and an important note to all of this, other than being respectful to others and the characters themselves, is to respect me. just because it's okay that you do it with my character, doesn't mean i have to agree with it or make it canon or anything like that. it just means i gave you permission to engage like that. so please don't come to me trying to ask or force me to change something about my own characters or get so lost in your headcanons you start to disrespect what i've established myself
and if you ever have any questions about them or any of this, just let me know. i'm always happy to help
also yet again DONT REPOST MY NSFW ART ARGHHHH!!!
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bc you asked for it: what happens in the same age au when they get to the premier class?
YESSSSS OKAY. so the thing is. in this scenario they are MUCHHH more codependent right out of the gate. truly like you are the only bitch i can relate to and understand and ALSO the only person i can use as a yardstick for how actually good at this sport i am. and my entire life is about discovering how good at this sport i am. like they both think they’re weird fucked up soulmates created in a lab to complement and destroy each other. and they’ve held the other’s hair back after they puked when they were teenagers AND they’ve been inside each other. WEIRD shit sublimating into their egos and sense of selves.
which means ego really changes here! because if they went up against each other in their primes i’m not sure they would be as dominant as they were in real life… if vale didn’t win 9 titles without going to the gym that would change him as a person. and he’s reacting to MARC as his main rival here so he CANT win at those mind-game psychological warfare tactics he used as a little guy because marc is simply matching him in levels of crazy… idk it has interesting implications top to botttom for how these guys fundamentally view themselves and their lives!! i like to think about it!!!
but. basically. i think the main friction in their relationship, ESPECIALLY when they get to the premiere class, is the injury thing. even more so than normal. it’s not just i love you i’m scared that you aren’t taking care of yourself. it’s I DONT KNOW WHO I AM WITHOUT YOU please take care of yourself because i can’t race when i’m WORRIED about you (we see also how marc gets about alex) and racing is the MOST IMPORTANT THING!!! this goes both ways but vale is notably more anxious about it. like this scenario would add vale to the list of people who can make marc stop racing injured (and who are COMFORTABLE asking him to stop) BUT it also makes him a direct competitor to marc. and his oldest friend. and largest enemy. with no added hero worship BUT a big dose of first-love/situationship naïveté for them both. like knowing how they get on track together, how do they even begin to resolve thatttttt… contradictions on contradictions….. so marc doesn’t race injured as often, but maybe learns to protect himself independently even LESS (he doesn’t have to think about it, that’s what vale’s for !) and it reallyyyyy tears into their relationship because vale cannot be the entire scaffolding for marc’s ability to protect himself (he is also i think not protecting himself so well from injury. anything to beat marc, don’t know where or if sic fits here etc)
ANOTHER BIG TENSION. i also think that vale would NOT be one to want to settle down that young, whereas marc would wanna get soulbonded about it… so even while vale in this au has an easier time conceptualizing how important marc is to him, i think he imposes some distance in order to go out and like. process his parents divorcing/remarrying (SIDE NOTE 2: PIC OF MARC WITH BABY LUCA. THANK YOU.), sow his wild oats, hit up the club and be a little slutty etc (SIDE NOTE 3: UCCIO AND MARC BEEF WOULD GO FUCKING CRAZYYYY HERE) and marc is down to tag along for a lot of that stuff but at the same time. they’re teens/young men living in different countries so it’s not like they’ve ever talked about what they are or asked to be exclusive… and it’s not gonna feel great when vale disappears with a girl or marc has some fling with someone back home! and it’s not like they can come out so i actually think the on again off again vibes get TURBOCHARGED. the jealousy and angst is ratchet up to ten… maybe they don’t get sepang level divorced bc ego is different and they’ve known each other longer, but the little stuff digs more… they break up a lot they make up a lot…. they eventually get resolve it after marc’s arm injury i think… puts some stuff into perspective…
#vale would freakkkk#okay this still didn’t really get into the premiere class drama SORRY i had a lot of thought…#motogp#callie speaks#asks#rosquez#same age au
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