#idk what my name would be changed to though
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Since you all have seen my TGAMM X GF AU, here are other TGAMM AUs I drew that I come out with.
Friends In Time
Post The End Swap (I need a better name)
Also here an extra drawing I made of Todd/Scratch. Sorta like a deltarune sort of thing I think. This one is not an AU btw, I just wanted an excuse to draw him with a sword.
Below will have an info about these 2 AUs, so I'll be rambling bout it below. :)
Friends In Time
★ This AU is inspired by the Gravity Falls AU called Twins in Time. I love that AU and be like, "Hey what if Young Scratch and Adia got sent to the past but they ended up with eachother present self?"
★ This AU takes place after the 'All In The Mind' episode.
★ Scratch and Molly was messing around with the rare curses (Molly's idea) and Scratch accidentally messed it up, resulting for a portal to open up in the past and young Adia fall in it and she ended up in the present with Molly and Scratch. Past Scratch sort of witness how his friend just dissappear through a portal infront of him, another portal open up behind young Scratch and he falls in it. But instead of ending up with Molly and present Scratch, past Scratch ended up with present Adia. This left everyone confused. Especially present Adia.
★ Molly was kind of excited with the situation since she got to meet her ghost best friend old best friend. Though Scratch suggested for Molly to not reveal anything to Past Young Adia. (I mean hey, seeing your best friend kind of 'died' in the future isn't very nice to know.) I think they'll try to change Scratch name incase. He called himself Duke. They'll reveal about it later.
★ With Present Adia and Past Young Todd/Scratch, despite being confused, they both went on an adventure together while trying to get back to Brighton and find Past Young Adia.
★ Past Young Adia stick around until 'The End' episode. Present Adia with Past Young Todd/Scratch finally reach Brighton during The End too and they visit Todd's house, which also the same time Molly and Scratch and with Past Adia were there to see them.
★ The End would be a bit different than the original. Adia and Scratch finally have a talk before he goes back to his body. The Past selves are sent back to the past. And both Adia and Molly would try to help Scratch remember his time as a ghost before he and Adia went on their adventure together.
Post The End Swap
★ This is basically a personality swap between Scratch and Molly after 'The End'. Or a swap, literally. Thanks to Bill, one of the TGAMM creator for telling us what will Season 3 be like if Disney gave them a green light. This just gave me an idea on how this story would go.
★ In this AU, Scratch did not die. He is still alive and healthy and did not get into any hang-gliding incident.
★ But in this AU, Molly finally gave up her soul after experiencing the rough aftermath of how it gets harder to try to enhappify people, making Brighton better and losing people she love. (Patty becoming a ghost and Ollie moving away) She became lost and hopeless as years went on till high-school. Feeling less joy also made her wraith form change colour to pink like her eyes but a bit dull and a bit gold.
★ Idk how Scratch and Adia will meet Molly yet, but when they did Molly put a curse on them. The same curse that made Scratch got pull to Molly's side whenever she calls for him, but it's Molly who got dragged to Scratch's side when he said her name.
★ Molly had been a ghost for about a month or two. Ofc her family and friends are aware and tries to find Molly's ghost but unsuccessful. The Chens who now stay in another place after the move also being informed by the Mcgees about the situation too.
★ As for being a ghost for too long, Molly's memories started to become fuzzy and she had a hard time recalling them, slowly losing her memories and forgetting who she is. Though it's not as bad as Scratch, but she just had a hard time recalling. She forgot her name and only remember that it probably starts with a M. So Scratch just called her Moll and his reasoning is, "Idk, you just look like a Moll person." Which confused Molly, Adia and himself with it.
★ And yes, these two duo has no idea who the other are due to memory lost. Molly having a harder time to recognise Scratch since he is Todd now and alive instead of the ghost buddy she always remembers. (Same with Scratch as deep down he remember his friend being a human instead of a ghost, and the change of her wraith colour instead of gold is also less helping.) But the name sorta ring a bell for her a bit.
★ Together they tried to uncover Molly's memories as Molly follow Scratch and Adia through the adventure. Plus without them realising, they're also gonna uncover Scratch's memories too! Now it's The Ghost and and Todd/Scratch Mortenson, with Scratch being the optimistic one and Molly being EMolly or realistic and hopeless, or just season 1 Scratch but it's Molly, and Scratch is Molly but in Scratch own way, yk?
Welp these are the info I have about these 2 AUs for now. There are still more TGAMM AUs that I would love to share more in the future! Like there's ALOT in my notes. Wish I could make a fic for all of 'em. Anyways cya and have an enhappifying day/night!
B★
#seriously I'm not kidding#there's like 34 of them#who would like to fight me on who have the most tgamm au?#my brain just made these up these ideas in such random times and in random places#where did all these ideas come from???#i will mention this again in the future who know#and who knows maybe i will come up with more tgamm aus hhhh#tgamm#scratch mcgee#molly mcgee#todd mortenson#tgamm au#tgamm fanart#TGAMM: Friends In Time#TGAMM: Post The End Swap AU#scratch the ghost#art#fanart#☆bria artz☆#☆ bria's rambles! :0#the ghost and molly mcgee#adia williams#adia tgamm
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I think more people with Spidersonas should draw what their sona would look like in Spider Ham's universe :]
#you know like miles being a cat#i see people doing it for miguel and gwen is a penguin im pretty sure so why not your sona too... as a treat...#i just think it would be fun personally#as much as i wanna say my spidersona would be a dragon or a lion#i know in my heart i would be a lizard#preferably a komodo dragon but like he's too silly... probably a bearded dragon#a crocodile would be fun too#idk what my name would be changed to though#lizard parker is boring and so is spider lizard#how would you combine fiend and lizard like#maybe a lizard that could generate heat or something would be better considering i have pyrokinesis#to a degree#“oc tag”
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who up transfemming they faves
#the art tag#fop a new wish#fop fanart#fop hazel#fop dev#not tagging peri or wanda mwahaha#real talk what do yall think her prefered name would be#Dev is pretty androgynous but idk I feel like she would change it anyway#I was originally very partial to Dove and I think it would fit my future interpretation of her#but also what if she doesn't want to keep the first letter D that runs in her horrible family?#Bev works I think#short for Beverly or something?#Bevin...#I think I still like Dove more though#also unrelated but Hazel is a librarian in this future 🤓#okay im done now
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whoa guys did you see the new cards i really want alto's full art!!
made with this site! art without the text under the cut :D
#pokemon#pokemon oc#pokemon ranger#pokemon tcg#clai's ocs#oc: alto#clai's art#the thought process during this piece was literally ''NOOO I DONT WANT TO RENDER NOOOOO rendering is fine actually. i dont care anymore''#i tried to come up with a cool card effect? someone more well versed in the tcg please tell me if this is viable or op or sucks ass entirely#i will genuinely change the post if the effect is bad i want my beloved to have ONLY the best#other ideas i considered was smth like. finding a pokemon to play straight away to reference ranger capturing#or an effect that only benefit colorless type pokemon so that alto would pair with flying types that get assigned colorless#but since i wanted the card's name to be alto's Justice it felt more appropriate for the player to gain smth after being damaged#like maybe it depended on the opponents prize cards and how many they'd taken already#the prior effects like the colorless benefit would probably go on a standard ''Alto'' card that doesnt have the extra word appeneded yknow#i put plenty of thought into it haha i was browsing through the bulbapedia articles trying to figure out what a good card effect was#only played like. less than ten matches of tcg i'm still figuring stuff out JDJBFJF#the clouds also!! originally i was drawing generic fluffy clouds#but then it hit me. i named alto after specific clouds. why am i doing generic ones instead of the ones named Alto-Something#so these are meant to be altostratus! i can bearly draw generic clouds though idk how well i pulled off smth more specific HJEHFKF#had a lot to say abt this one i just really liked the idea of an alto card so i made sure it was as perfect as i could get it
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https://www.tumblr.com/rist-ix/749015401700229120 not you reblogging this when you ship bloom with the man who murdered her family 😭
Bloom's into ppl who slay! Hope this helps :3
#alright snark and ship wars aside i get where you’re coming from tho#if you're genuinely interested in my thought process here i would love to elaborate#which is exactly what I’ll do!#first of all! the post you linked is about headcanons#which my brain kinda wants to put into a whole different category than ships — fandom ships in particular! — but i can leave that aside#because there IS an argument to be made that relationships are an extension of characterization and personality traits#if you wanna go that route i would wanna explain that Bloom's and/or Valtor's interest in the other is in fact based on canon#(even though I don’t really think ships need to be established in the source material. make shit up that’s what fandom is for#1) the Andros episode speaks for itself. Valtor specifically tells the Trix to back off because HE wants to be the one to fight bloom#2) the episode before that he asks questions about her (and only her; even though he has more powerful enemies to worry about)#demonstrating curiosity about and interest in her#3) that same episode (or the one before; can’t remember) is their infamous first meeting#where time LITERALLY slows down as the pass each other on the stairs#they get IMPACT FRAMES#the whole color palette changes!!!#idk about u but I eat that shit up. love the drama of it all no one does it like them#I’m gonna skip all the instances where Valtor is spying on Bloom through his little scrying spell because oh god who has the time#let’s go straight to Bloom#if I had a week I would not be able to collect all the moments where she growls his name in pure fury and single-minded determination#she gets a little bit obsessed with him over the course of the season and I personally think that’s very sexy of her#Bloom is known for her tunnel vision when it comes to her past and origins and Valtor's existence fits PERFECTLY into that#it ties in neatly with her overarching story of the past 2 seasons#literally PERFECT foils#which always makes for the juiciest stories#4) she singles him out for a duel in the museum episode#5) she can literally feel his presence#6) the mere mention of his name sends her into her weird faux enchantix#of course there’s no romance in canon but there’s TENSION AND CHEMISTRY which is all u really need for a ship#all their animosity and bad blood is what makes it so INTERESTING to wonder how they COULD work. it’s the spice that makes for good fanfic!
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i do love canon amy & rory but god, does some part of me wish they really had gone with the idea of the doctor picking up a child as a companion (and then later, that child’s best friend with a huge crush on her.) with the rest of the season really not changing at all, except now it’s amelia pond with an angel in her head killing her and lost alone in the woods. it’s little rory who dies and is forgotten and becomes a toy soldier. if this is going to be a fairy tale, then let it be one. children have never been safe in fairy tales.
#it wouldn’t have to change any of the actual plot of the season. except MAYBE amy’s choice but even then i think amy’s choice would be the#one episode where they should be adults. if only for the half where they live in a village in that dream.#because that’s the kind of future that children would dream up. they live in a little cottage and nothing ever goes wrong and their best#friend visits them all the time even though they’ve grown up.#they aren’t actually adults there just children with an idea of what they should be as adults and acting accordingly#and it would still end the same way.#but idk its just. rory’s 2000 years waiting for amy inside the pandorica is already tragic. yes.#now imagine its a kid. a kid in a little roman soldier helmet who will never grow up. who will not leave his best friend.#he loves her and she’s more important than the whole universe and that sort of love is supposed to MEAN something in a fairy tale!#its supposed to melt the ice out of hearts and transform people from stone.#and what that love means here. is that he will have to wait 2000 years. a child and a box.#little rory and the amelia who followed the doctor’s letters to the pandorica. and she doesn’t recognize him again.#and amelia in the pandorica… 2000 years a child trapped in a small box waiting to be rescued.#s5 is already fucked for them but it could be worse. it could be so much worse.#and it would make the doctor choosing to take her place in the pandorica to save the universe later even better.#because who else but the doctor would put the fate of the universe on the shoulders of two children and realize much too late what a#monstrous thing he’d done. and still have to hope. have to hope. that amelia would remember him fondly enough to bring him back to reality.#the logistics of all of this would have been a pain lmao. child labor laws in acting and all that.#BUT. hypothetically. it would have slapped.#doctor who#amy pond#rory williams#<- also this entire time ive been referring to him in my head as rory pond so much that i fuckin. forgot his actual last name.#and then like if you want them to be adults in s6 or whatever you can just timeskip to them getting married and still have amelia remember#the doctor there. it would work. it would.#amelia pond au
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If Kipperlilly DOES end up betraying Porter/Jace as part of a secret other scheme she has (whether good or evil) and it has to do with saving Lucy, I just know she’s going to be a bitch about it and pull a ‘sorry, I only save High Five Heroes’ before leaving her other friends to die or some shit. And then she will take her final form: Magic Betty from Adventure Time, betraying her allies and saving her frost gf at the expense of the world. It would also parallel what Ankarna is going through (‘your girlfriend’s out of town, it sucks’, becoming a little imperialist rage machine under the influence of Porter/Sunstone but not being able to fully turn on Lucy despite going against her values and turning into a violent weirdo). This is my wish. My dream. I am manifesting it. Magic Betty Kipperlilly I believe in you.
#I am currently painting clown makeup on my face rn but this is what I’ve been rooting for from the beginning so let me dream#Come on though she HAS to have some other shit going on though right?#She was DEFINITLY in that temple when the Bad Kids said Ankarna’s name#Brennan literally rolled#and we know she was in Porter’s office#so WHY hadn’t she told him Ankarna’s real name yet? We know he genuinely believed Fig found it#Also the BKs couldn’t see who was in the window during the Wanda Childa scene#Which one of the RGs has invisibility?#HMMMM#Wanda saying ‘Kipperlilly? Why are you doing this? Is it because you’re jealous?’ before getting carried off by a fake Porter would let KP#know ‘okay they FULLY saw what happened after I killed Buddy and are onto us’ which would cause her to follow them to the temple#Also…if NONE of the Rat Grinders knew Ankarna’s name then what did Lucy write on her form to change her divinity???#We KNOW it was Ankarna’s name and not the ‘symbol representing her’ because no one could see it BECAUSE the god was dead and no one alive#knew her name#Which means Lucy HAD TO HAVE KNOWN and was keeping it from the others right?#And when she died and didn’t come back they were fucked because they couldn’t even check the form anymore#But#Brennan also said that if Porter WASNT using Devil’s Honey and genuinely believed in Rage And Conquest goddess Ankarna instead of just her#domain then he and his ritual would (maybe) bring her back instead of killing her permenantly so he can take her domain#And idk#A powerful goddess of rage and conquest who despite everything can’t be turned against her sister and ex#who’s resurrection would mean the rune could be broken and Lucy can come back to life#One who has (or had) a personal vendetta against at least one of the bad kids#and a personal vendetta against the people who led to Lucy’s death#that sounds pretty appealing to someone as spiteful and obsessive as Kipperlilly doesn’t it#especially after her best (maybe only real) friend died and didn’t come back#especially if she stayed dead specifically to stop Porter#Again I’m putting my clown makeup on but I don’t want her to be secretly good or anything just unhinged and gay and a parallel to Ankarna#Please world let me have this I’m on my knees#dimension 20
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Small thing I’m cooking for idksomethingclever99’s fic MITPP!! For some reason I’m having trouble tagging them but here’s the fic!!
This seemed fun to do… probably won’t get more done than this page though…
#omori#omori au#omori mari#omori sunny#I’m ALSO trying to do this with my mutual lynx’s fic is it a bird#because I originally wanted to do one big piece for it but I’ve been STRUGGLING and demotivated#plus I’d LOVE to do an adaptation of one of their chapters#ANYWAYS#detail I really loved in retrospect of chapter 12 is how this fic keeps the detail of the bedlam’s clothes changing to foreshadow her true-#-form as time goes on#or in this case aliquid#since he’s more of this shadowy creature than anything#being covered in an all black suit was a fantastic choice so I’m trying to add something elements throughout#namely the tie… but I’m going to try squeeze it in elsewhere#also not sure what Maris wearing here so I improvised… it probably says somewhere so I’ll go back and check#I thought her picnic sweater outfit would suffice as it’s pretty similar to what coraline’s wearinv at this point in the story!!#not sure how I feel about all the heromari I’m going to be able to draw…#on one hand it’s heromari but in the other hand it’s fucking Henry#he CREEPS me out god I hate him but I live him because I know that’s the whole point of him#get AWAY omg#anyway yes this is the Button Eye scene! so end of chapter 10 to start of chapter 11#I might do the drawing room too because I really want to draw it but that’s a bit of a stretch#honestly though coraline is a very visually interesting film and that’s part of the point and experience of it#and I feel like this fic deserves the same#especially with the amount of effort and detail and beauty idk puts into their settings… eg drawing room scene#anyway. rambling again. take art have fun#coraline
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may i offer you a joe/tee fic in these trying times? 😌🧡
bitter with the sweet (1300 words) by chrisnoel Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: National Football League RPF Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Joe Burrow/Tee Higgins Characters: Joe Burrow, Tee Higgins Additional Tags: One Shot, No Plot/Plotless, Mild Smut Summary: they don’t name what this is, maybe they never will.
#guess who wrote this through a whole lotta pain 😁👍#i’ve wanted to write this for a while and just didn’t get around to it until now#gave myself the perfect excuse to make it take place exactly when it does :P#just vague enough that if they lose i don’t look like a clown#ACTUALLY i was planning on writing a joemarr fic and then i couldn’t stop thinking about joe and tee#their interaction after the broncos win would not leave my brain lololol#but yea this was originally going to be a joemarr confession fic#i could still write that though#but this ship is one of those where not many fics exist and i want to change that#be the change! i say while totally exhausted#do we have a ship name??#joetee#i guess. idk.#what do i even tag this with i never post these
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Reading Stazio's Thebaid (and watching L'Odissea 1968 rai miniserie), it's terrifying how the greek gods mess with people's minds to reach their ends. Zeus wants to destroy two cities, Thebes and Argo, and instead of bringing about a forerunner Sodom and Gomorrah (or second, I'm fuzzy on the timeline), he plants the thought in Etheocles' mind that he want to keep the kingship for himself and inspires bloodlust and a desire for war in the youths of Argo. He puppets the two cities by effectively stripping their leaders of wants, thoughs and personality and puppeteering them into a war no one wanted. We don't even know if the desire to keep Thebes was always there in Etheocles or if it's all Zeus' creation.
Basically, it never matters what a mortal wants, not because a god can effortlessly overpower them, but because a god can easily make it so that they never wanted anything other than what the god desires them to want. It's horrible. You can never know if what you wish and think is truly something that comes from you or if a god planted it so that you'd do their will
#of course this isn't limited to the Odyssey and the Thebaid#but I didn't pay as much attention to it before I guess#or rather. the gods often plant/elicit emotions in people#mostly lust and love. you know how it is. Phedra - the mother of the minotaur whose name I can't remember rn - ecc#but in the Thebaid it happens to an impressive scale. Entire cities#and all because Zeus has decided that they will destroy each others as punishment#idk this is very much one of those 'I knew but am only now Realising' moments#it's impressive#I've always loved myths but I've never read that much greek and roman literature so I'm sure this has been#whatever I'm not self flagellating on my own post#epica#it's interesting though because the judeo christian god afaik doesn't do this#it mostly causes natural phenomena and makes things happen in people's lives#either by destroying something of theirs or by gifting them something#but he never messes with their thoughts#but I could be wrong#but as someone that doesn't believe in any god I wonder what it must be like to live in a world#full of gods that can change you completely to their whim#rewrite your personality whenever it suits them#but then they can also take an interest in you and destroy your life while leaving you perfectly aware of everything#why would you ever believe in such a world
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Okay so basically the United States MINT of all people is going to be working with DC to make a line of coins! These coins sadly won't be in circulation (the things I would do to live in a world where I could get Batman coins from the supermarket) as they're collectors coins, but will be releasing over the course of the next 3 years, 2025-2027.
Designs haven't been released yet (the same is true for all 2025 designs) but we know there will be 9 coins in total (3 each year) with the first year featuring (of course!!!) Superman, Batman, and Wonder Woman.
Although we know the first three heroes to be featured, the remaining six have yet to be decided, and it turns out the Mint is putting out a survey on their site to gauge which of a group of culturally significant heroes people want to see most! (link to the form is mentioned in the article above)
The considered group includes: Supergirl, the Flash, Green Arrow, Black Canary, Captain Marvel, John Stewart GL, Aquaman, Hawkman, Jamie Reyes BB, Robin (Damian?), Cyborg, and Batgirl, of which 6 will be selected.
As someone who does a bit of coin collecting myself (mainly circulation coins like the quarters sets, but I also have a couple proof and collectors coins) I think this is a really cool and interesting idea that showcases the history of the comics medium and these characters and their influence on American culture. Really excited to wait and see what the designs look like for the coins already announced!
#ABSOLUTELY INSANE TO ME#sorry just. only thing that could make this crazier is if these were circulating. i would fucking die actually lmao#i mean you could buy something with one of these legally but like youre an idiot if you do that so likeeee#someone showing up with the solid gold superman collector coin and its only legally worth a dollar lmao#not that someone would do this but future generations/archeologists finding a coin in some ruins and it just has like. batman on it#amazing to me#also just the transition from us currency having all fake people (lady liberty some random native american guy etc.) and then going to real#people and presidents then expanding that to honor people that they believe should be honored (think the harriet tubman coin set right now)#and representing beauty and innovation and culture through representation of the states#only through that lens to swing back around and have fake people on the coins again in the form of the freaking dc trinity. insane to me#no one ever gets me when im nerding out over coins its okay. at least its not postage stamps (i actually do have some special postage stamps#its like 1 sheet though it was for the 2017 eclipse and the image changes from totality to the moon with the heat of your finger theyre so#cool okay) anyways i like dont really know that much abt coins lol i originally saw a post abt this on reddit 💀 lol and had to check this#was real which is insane. anyways my dad got my all my coin stuff ive got a proof set from the year i was born albums to hold the 50 states#and national parks (america the beautiful but its 90% natl park designs lets be honest here) quarter collections as i find them irl#(dont have an album for us women yet sadly but do have some of the coins) as well as a few dimes and other circulation albums i havent used#much. and then i have a few collectibles like the hubble telescope $1 coin the 50th anniversary apollo 11 one and the 2021 anniversary peace#dollar. though like not the gold ones or anything like that lol but yeah. i talk abt coins every once and a while with friends and i know#things but then my dad is in the car and its like nevermind lol.#also put a ? after damian's name bc theres a chance it could be dick and they just used the wrong picture. because some of the character#bios had names but his didnt and seemed very dick grayson (acrobatics mention “batman's partner” etc) but not so specfic exclude either one#and the pick was damian. but then the ollie pick was goateeless for some reason so who knows#culturally dick is more important but dami is current so idk#dc comics#blah#ive really been learning so much today. first all in announcement and subsequent leaks and now this. what a ride#also love how im anticipating and know future comics things lol. when did that happen haha. ive really transitioned from only reading back#issues and never knowing current events to following a lot of releases lol and somehow finding out about the freaking coin collection...#crazy how that happens#cant scroll up at that first image without losing it a bit still actually. what a world we live in. anyways take your bets who is gonna be
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TIL that my right eye had gone haywire and shit
#story time! because im annoying#so today is my first day of clinical posting this semester and im posted to eye clinic#so we did our assessment (which the marks not as high as i expected) which are performing visual acuity test and instil eye drops#and when my friend did the visual acuity test on me my right eye vision is shit even when im wearing my glasses#it was 6/18 (which in the snellen chart i only managed to read until the 3rd row)#my left eye is okay and i thought i was tripping tbh#my ci thought my glasses' power increases as hell so she sent me to the low vision specialist part of the clinic#the ophthalmologist mention a medical condition idk the name and did the test like you would when you want to buy prescription glasses#the one where you wear a weird glasses and they keep on changing the lenses and ask you if its clearer or what#ANYWAY#turns out that when i was younger apparently the shop i made my glasses did the wrong prescription glasses#like my left eye was right but my right eye was wrong and it made my right eye turn to shit#so my power for my left eye is 300 while my right eye is 600+#but they cant give me the 600 on my right eye because then it will autocorrect#like if i occlude my left eye i can see the it clearer but as a pair of glasses it will be hard to read as the words will merge and all#so what the glasses shop i got my latest glasses did is they balanced the power on each side so that i can see better#thats why when i did the visual acuity test my right eye is shit because my glasses is made that way to balance it#its a really good news though because i thought that i need to buy new glasses#he did mention that my 'silau' increases tho but that's fine#the more you know 👀#personal.txt
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i think one of the reasons i can't chose a name is that i never stick with one long enough to actually feel like i use it. and i never have anyone else call me it either, so that doesn't help.
#like i'll change the name on this blog (/some other place if the phase is long enough) but then like five minutes pass and im like#OH but i should use this one instead and change it#my posts#i think. im tired of this shit. i just wanna be a person.#it's such a relief to have a nickname in use though#like that means so much to me#but also a bit problematic bc the ppl who use it are the ones k would want to try out new names with#also i keep swinging so much on the name adrian.#because it's my Trans Guy Name™ from back two years ago when i realised im probably a man#but im also thinking of one of my friends whose legal name is a Normal name but then she has another name a few ppl use that she described#as like her 'soul name'. and i wonder if that's wat adrian is meant to be for me. because like yeah it's a normal a name as it gets.#works in both english and swedish. super duper normal. but idk using it feels. like idk. like it's not gonna mean what it means in my head#names
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So like, if it's "if it's brown, lay down. if it's white, say goodnight," what do you do if you come across a Pizzly bear?
#genuinely curious#I posed this hypothetical to my dad and he thought I was bonkers#I was not able to get through to him that no this was just something that I was curious about#because a well known thing had now got a new variable - uptake in grizzly-polar bear hybrids#due to an environmental change - global warming#he's like "this is like when people get worried about black holes eating the earth even though it's a verrrryyy small chance of it happenin#there's no way a Pizzly bear is gonna come and go to our house in England why are you worried#I'm like for the last time I'm not#this is just an interesting thing#like how I've got a made up fake identity#name and backstory#if I ever had to go into idk witness protection or an alternate universe where there was already a version of me#not because I think it's ever gonna happen#or I'm worried about the possibility#but because I was bored one time and it was fun to do#and my brain's wacky and thinks about completely random things and hypotheticals on a whim#perhaps it's the ADHD#anyway it's fun#and I'm curious about the bear thing#also bout other hybrids#not so much impact on the choice with a Pizzly#the original options are lay down or die#but with brown bear black bear cross? fight or play dead#would you do one? the other? something else? try to somehow do both?#not what you ought to do#but what would you actually do#hmm#fun like I'm genuine#bears#amber rambles
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ran out of tags so this was cut short but.stage 1 ily… i want to learn more about you i think you’re so neat… i want to give him a nice sandwich. anyway uhhmm i don’t know much about stage 1 so this might be off but whatever freedom of speech 🇺🇸🦅
the idea of stage 1 trying to warn and protect the others in the gang from himself makes me a little sad. im picturing him wringing his little hands together all nervous and afraid after he offered them something—food, a safe place to sleep, something, trying to make up for anything he remembers or thinks he remembers doing in Stage 2 (even if the things he remembers were a dream, he can’t really tell if it was real or not) —and them not knowing what is going on with him or if they can trust him at all. last time they saw him he looked different and he definitely didn’t care about anyone but himself.
and like, depending on how they react to him—he could come to desperately cling on to this one fragile connection outside of his programming and maybe there’s hope for him even if he doesn’t think it’ll last, but if they reject him or react with indifference or hostility it could send him deeper into dissociation—or even trigger Stage 2 as a defense mechanism
#sniffles. goddd stage 1 under nightmare’s reign is so sad#like killer overall is tragic as well like dude. he is so Fucked up thanks to bitchass motherfucker 1 and bitchass motherfucker 2 over there#but like. stage 1 is so overall different from 2 that it would be jarring for everyone else#especially given everyone around him have trust issues as their middle name to some extent or another#horror like fully canon or near fully canon horror would not accept any offers i think#everyone he’s known except papyrus have betrayed him in some way or another at least in his eyes#and killer has given him no reason to trust him in the first place#cross would be more inclined to accept. he doesn’t know killer well enough to build any firm opinion on him yet. he finds killer creepy and#weird and wishes he would stop messing with him like a cat with a mouse it’s about to eat.#but all in all cross can be trusting to the worst of people and while he is very wary he would probably accept. i think killer would be#less violent to him and more poking and prodding and trying to figure this guy out. find every line of dialogue in this entirely new game#or something idk. i think cross would like stage 1 but not understand the stages at least not well for a good while. so he would be confused#on the switchup on both ends. i think he would also be more inclined to try and do something for killer in turn because his character is the#type to easily feel indebted. depending on what stage killer is i think how he would go about cross’ perceived debt would be wildly differen#sorry this is mildly incomprehensible and probably wrong my bad gang#dust would be a mix. it really would depend for him.#dust is mentally unstable and his opinions of killer would likely change frequently enough depending on multiple factors at the time#killer in stage 1 could be very easily blown off by dust just as easy as he could be attacked or his offer accepted#dust is not stable in any sense of the word. he is easily irked and have bouts of paranoia and distrust and his perception of reality can#change at times. killer in stage 1 would be something he reacts to differently. this especially depends on if he’s ever seen stage 1 before#i dont fully remember (and would like to find out) how nightmare reacts to killer in stage 1 when he’s still actively in NM’s domain#not outiside of it or in another au. i don’t fully remember if killer in stage 1 is something he can tolerate as long as there’s no threat#of killer escaping but i assume not?? no fucking clue there#this has so many assumptions because i do not know much about killer#it’s finally the day wick makes a bad and uninformed take#if im wrong thoufh about things i would like to learn cause killer is so interesting to me….the guy ever#i think stage 1 and cross could be friends (or allies or this weird codependent thing or Something). but that also might just be me clinging#to any crumbs of kross i can get like a madman. cross in general though as i mentioned in an earlier post is a lot more of a blank slate#he has a lot more empathy than dust or horror because he hasn’t endured what they have. he has a higher moral code for himself as well#he doesn’t *like* nightmare either. i think he would like stage 1. stage 1 might like cross too because while he’s reactive hes not hostile.
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part 2 - read part 1 here
✰ pairing. — emo!hs x reader
✰ genre. — early 2000s au, best friend’s older brother, childhood friends to lovers, smut, light angst.
✰ word count. — 10k+
✰ warnings. — swearing, family issues, friendship betrayal, mention of drugs/alcohol, smut [ cunnilingus, rough sex, …idk how else to describe it ] reader and hs are both 18+, minors dni, cliffhanger.
✰ a/n. PART 3 IS IN THE WORKS PART 3 IS IN THD WORKS PART 3 IS IN THE WORKS
✰ perm taglist. @intromortal @aanniikkaa @meetletsinmontauk @lovelyyf @right-person-wrong-time
———
“Did you seriously think I wouldn’t find out?” Chaeryeong is glaring daggers at you upon opening the front door, arms crossed across her chest as she eyes you. Her lips are twisted into a disgusted snarl, you’ve never seen her this upset before.
You swallow the lump in your throat, “Find out about what?”
She cocks her head to the side, squinting her eyes at you, “Don’t act like you don’t know.”
Fuck, you’re screwed. If there were a list of all the reasons why you shouldn’t have had sex with Lee Heeseung, the simple fact of him being your best friend’s brother would be number one.
With closed eyes, you let out a relieved sigh. As much as you wanted to wait to tell Chaeryeong about hooking up with Heeseung, it’d be an enormous weight off your shoulders not having to hide it any longer. It’d only been a few days since it happened, but you hate keeping secrets from her.
“How’d you find out?” You question, chewing on your bottom lip.
“My parents told me, duh.”
Holy crap, Heeseung told his parents the two of you had sex? Why the fuck would he do that?
“They did?” You ask, completely bewildered.
“Well, yeah!” Chaeryeong finally uncrosses her arms, demeanor completely changing as her gaze softens, “Why didn’t you tell me your sister got engaged?”
Thank God you didn’t elaborate any further.
“Oh! Because they probably aren’t gonna last.” You respond, stepping into the Lee household once Chaeryeong allows you to enter. It’s been a few days since you’ve been here, mostly due to the fact that you were completely avoiding Heeseung.
The empty condom in his trash bin had been plaguing your mind nonstop, you could barely even sleep from how embarrassed you were. Why did he fake his orgasm? What if he didn't fake an orgasm and just shot a blank? Did you do something wrong? Was he not attracted to you? Why was the condom empty?
Seeing him in person would’ve only intensified the thoughts roaming in your head, so you avoided him at all costs up until now. You’d promised the Lee siblings that you’d finally see Twilight with them and their friends despite not being able to function correctly around either of them.
Chaeryeong snickers, following you into the living room. “Ooh, that’s not nice.”
“It’s true, though,” you explain, “she’s still so young, only a few years older than your brother. I mean, can you picture Heeseung getting married in a few years?”
The regret from that question fills you almost immediately.
“Sure,” Chaeryeong responds, pausing to greet the eager doberman charging at her. “As long as he finds the right person; he’d get married in a heartbeat.”
You want to ask what Chaeryeong’s definition of “the perfect person” would be for Heeseung or the type of girl she’d be willing to set him up with. It’d probably be the unnamed, mysterious redhead you recently dreamed about curb stomping (yikes!).
You don’t respond to this, taking a seat on the sofa when the sudden shout of your name has you flinching. It’s Chaeryeong’s parents, excitedly greeting you with open arms as you politely stand to properly hug them. “I feel like it’s been so long since we’ve seen you! How’s your family? We just heard the news about your sister!” Mrs. Lee ambushes you with questions, all while cradling your face.
“About how she’s making the biggest mistake of her life?” You half-joke.
Mrs. Lee playfully waves a hand in your direction as she steps into the kitchen, her husband only a few feet behind. “Oh, don’t say that. I’m sure the two of them will be very happy together.” She turns to her husband, grabbing his hand, “I just can’t believe Imogen is getting married. I still remember when she first started high school.”
Mr. Lee sighs in disbelief. “I know,” he mumbles, nodding at you. “You’re up next soon, huh?”
“Maybe she can marry Heeseung,” Mrs. Lee joked, opening her fridge, “set him straight.”
There’s an idea.
“Gross, Mom. Don’t wish that on her.” Chaeryeong groans in disgust as she plops down next to you.
Well, that answers your previous question.
“We should probably get going, right? To make it in time for the trailers?” You ask.
“Yeah, we should.” Chaeryeong responds, tilting her head up towards the staircase, “Heeseung! Hurry up and come downstairs! We’re ready to go!”
“Gimmie a minute!” He shouts back, and a chill runs down your spine. It’s been too long since you’ve heard his voice. The last time you saw him, he was lying naked in his bed; you’re not sure how you’ll survive being around him all night knowing what your last encounter was like.
As promised, Heeseung is sliding down the staircase a minute later and nails the landing. He’s wearing a black Twilight shirt featuring the leading couple, black cargo pants, and, of course, black sneakers. He looks like his usual self until you take a closer look and notice the reddish-black eyeshadow that decorated his eyes. It wasn’t much, just enough to make his eyes pop, and it complimented him perfectly. A second later, you see the black nail polish neatly coated on his nails. You have to blink a few times to ensure this is real life and you’re not trapped in a wet dream.
He strolls into the kitchen, ignoring the stares from his parents before digging through the fridge. His mom clears her throat, crossing her arms at him.
“What?” He asks, retrieving a two-liter Mountain Dew bottle.
“Seriously, Heeseung? The makeup? The nail polish?” She questions, clearly frustrated.
Heeseung cocks his head, unscrewing the soda bottle’s lid. “What’s wrong with it? Chaeryeong’s wearing the same thing.”
“Son, you know that’s different.” His father interjects.
Heeseung takes a swig of the soda before responding. “Why? Because she’s a girl?”
“It’s not like that, hon. It’s just…we didn’t make a big deal of it when you first started the piercings, and the tattoos, and the hair dye, but this…it’s a little much. Don’t you think?” His mother asks.
You want to step in and tell his parents that Heeseung is old enough to make his own decisions and express himself as he pleases, but it’s not your place. Instead, you cheer silently when Chaeryeong surprisingly interrupts the discussion. “Did you guys seriously force him to come back home just to criticize how he presents himself, or would you rather have a peaceful summer?”
“We aren’t trying to criticize him, Chaeryeong. We’re just looking out for our child.” Mr. Lee responds.
“It’s a special occasion, Dad. Is it bad that I wanted to look nice for—” Heeseung abruptly cuts himself short, quickly glancing in your direction before returning his attention to his parents. “...to go see Twilight with my friends?”
What was that about?
Silence passes, and the three stare at each other until Mrs. Lee sighs defeatedly and says, “No, there’s nothing wrong with that, sweetheart. I hope you guys enjoy the movie.”
“We will,” Heeseung responds, closing the soda bottle lid and placing it back in the fridge. He heads for the front door, beckoning you and Chaeryeong to follow behind. He’s eager to leave the house, quickly swinging the front door open and jogging towards his car.
You and Chaeryeong say goodbye to her parents with a promise to be home by eleven before following in Heeseung’s footsteps, who already has the car running. As you wait for Chaeryeong to finish locking the front door, Heeseung rolls down his window and shouts, “Hurry up! Let’s go!”
“Will you calm down?!” Chaeryeong throws back, rolling her eyes as she finally removes the house key from the lock.
You follow her towards Heeseung’s car, sliding into the backseat as you pretend not to notice Heeseung watching you through the rearview mirror. He wants you to look at him, but you refuse, busying yourself by buckling your seatbelt and convincing Chaeryeong to do the same. Once Heeseung is convinced you’re not going to do so much as glance at him, he puts the car in drive and pulls into the road.
Chaeryeong talks your ear off in the backseat about whatever comes to mind while you keep your eyes on the window. It’s hard to not notice Heeseung glancing back at you through the mirror at every red light or stop sign, but you don’t dare meet his gaze.
The movie theater’s parking lot is crowded when you arrive; it takes Heeseung a few minutes to eventually locate a spot. A smile is plastered on his face as he parks the car, eager to see some of his closest friends after being separated. He informs you and Chaeryeong to disregard anything foolish he friends may say, claiming they arrived early to smoke behind the movie theater, so they’re more than likely too high to function properly.
Heeseung shrugs when Chaeryeong asks why people do that, shoving his hands into his pockets as the three of you make your way towards the theater entrance. “Some people say it makes the movie experience better.”
You want to ask Heeseung if he’s ever been high, but you can barely even bring yourself to look in his direction; let alone ask him a question. So you’re silent as the three of you enter the movie theater, instantly spotting Heeseung’s bandmates in the far corner.
Well…Heeseung’s bandmates and one other guest.
The bubbly redhead greets you guys first, running up to Heeseung with open arms as if they haven’t seen each other in a million years. It makes you want to vomit.
You look away as they hug, directing your attention to the concession stand employee who had apparently already been watching you. His name tag reads ‘Jake’, and he resembles a slightly younger version of Heeseung, with the same dark hair and similar lip piercing. His eyes stay on you until a customer blocks your path, and you’re back to watching Heeseung reunite with his friends.
“Hey, you were the one at that party, right? With Chaeryeong?” The redhead asks, squinting her eyes at you.
“Yeah.” Is all you respond with, because why in God’s name is this girl talking to you right now?
“It’s nice to meet you, I’m Scar,” she introduces herself, extending a hand for you to shake.
Chaeryeong interjects, grabbing ahold of your wrist while glaring at Scar. “Your name is Scarlett.”
She drags you along to the ticketbooth, mumbling about she doesn’t like nor trusts Scar. When you ask for her reasonsings, she responds with, “I don’t need one. I just don’t like her.”
At least you’re on the same page about that.
Still, you can’t help but wonder why Chaeryeong has a distaste for Scar. You have your petty reasoning for disliking her, but Chaeryeong (more than likely) has better knowledge of Scar’s personality, so whatever reasons she has for disliking her could be legitimate.
You’re thinking of this as Heeseung is ordering the tickets for everyone, asking the employee to give him a minute when the friend you recognise as Jay starts tapping his shoulder. “We should go see Saw instead, it just came out.”
Heeseung looks genuinely confused at the suggestion. “What? No, we came here to see Twilight.”
“So?!” Jungwon chimes in, eyes as red as the devil, “Come on, dude, you’ve already seen Twilight, don’t you wanna see something new?”
“Fuck no, we’re literally in the middle of buying the tickets.” Heeseung reminds everyone.
“I kinda wanna see Saw, too.”
“Same.”
“Yeah, me too.”
“I do, too.”
Heeseung whips his head around at his sister, “What? Even you?”
Chaeryeong scoffs, “Well, yeah! Twilight just seems boring in comparison.”
“Come on guys,” the employee interrupts, “you’re holding up the line.”
Heeseungs turns towards you. “Do you still wanna see Twilight?”
Truthfully, you want to go home; but seeing how excited Heeseung was for the movie made you feel something, so you nod. He lets out a relieved sigh.
He moves out of the way to allow his friends to buy their tickets first, slipping his sister cash to pay for hers; to which she initially rejects. “I don’t need your money,” she claims.
“Just take it, Chaeryeong. I brought it for you.”
From what you can make out, it’s enough to cover her ticket and grab something from the concession stand. The pair of siblings may bicker a lot, but it’s nice to know Heeseung still looks out for his younger sister whenever he can.
Chaeryeong reluctantly accepts the money and purchases her ticket, you watch as Heeseung follows suit; ordering two tickets for Twilight and stopping you from opening your purse. “Don’t worry about it.”
“Oh, it’s fine. I have enough.” You reassure him.
Heeseung laughs to himself, “Why are the two of you like this?” He questions, fishing out crumpled dollar bills from his pocket and handing them to the cashier who sighs in annoyance, straightening and inspecting each bill before placing it in his register.
You don’t know why Heeseung insists on being so nice to you despite your persistence on not speaking to him. A part of you wonders if he thinks this is some kind of date now that the two of you will be separated from the group. It doesn’t matter, you don’t know why you’re thinking too much into it.
Once all the tickets have been purchased, the seven of you head towards the concession stand. Chaeryeong debates pushing herself to the front of the long line, claiming that the theater should make accommodations to those who’s movie is starting sooner. Or something like that, you can’t really focus with the way Jake is staring at you. You’re used to guys staring all the time, but they tend to shyly look away upon making eye contact.
Jake is quite the opposite, staring you down every chance he gets. Your skin feels hot, and you’re suddenly growing anxious under his gaze.
When the group ahead of you has finished ordering and is heading off into their theater, you’re sure to stick close to Heeseung as you approach the counter. Jake eyes him over once before returning his gaze to you. “What can I get for you guys?”
Heeseung takes the liberty of ordering a large popcorn for the two of you to share, and doesn’t even get mad when you request a slushie instead of a fountain drink. He doesn’t let you pay of course, swatting your hand away when you absentmindedly reach for your purse. “You seriously have to stop doing that.” He mumbles, handing Jake the cash.
Jake is quick to prepare the popcorn and Heeseung’s drink, but takes his time when making your slushie. He’s sure to fill it to the brim, and you’re worried it may accidentally overflow and leave a sticky mess. “You didn’t want candy or anything?” He questions, handing you your drink.
You shrug, “Maybe Twizzlers, but—”
Before you can finish, Jake is reaching under the counter then sliding you a pack of Twizzlers. “On me.”
“Oh, are you sure?” You ask, hesitant to accept the free candy.
Jake sends Heeseung a cocky smirk before he responds, “Yeah, enjoy the movie.”
You thank Jake and pretend to not notice the death glares the two boys are sending one another before walking with Heeseung to your theater. “That guy was weird.” He comments.
“Yeah.” You agree, but it’s definitely not true. Jake was friendly and clearly interested in you, unlike Heeseung who was sending you nonstop, draining mixed signals. If his definition of weird is someone who is straightforward, then perhaps you should start going after weirdos.
Once you’re settled in your seats in the back of the theater, — per Heeseung’s request — he clears his throat then says, “So, I tried messaging you on Facebook. Didn’t get anything back.”
“Oh, sorry. I haven’t been using Facebook that much.” You reply, hoping your lame excuse is believable enough.
He nods, eyes bouncing between you and the movie trailers playing in the background. “Yeah, I figured.” He says. When you don’t respond, he continues, “I would’ve asked Chaeryeong for your number, but I didn’t want her to get suspicious or anything.”
“That’s smart.” You admit, nodding in agreement.
“Are you okay?” Heeseung asks suddenly, his full attention to you.
You finally make eye contact, and the expression on his face makes your heart sink. He looks genuinely concerned and confused by your sudden coldness. You hate being so mean to him, but you’re too embarrassed to explain the real reason why you’ve been avoiding him. So you nod and say, “Just a little tired.”
It’s clear he doesn’t believe this, the same expression is still on his face as he refocuses on the movie trailers.
You hate how awkward it feels to be around him now, never in a million years would you have guessed the two of you would end up like this. A week ago you would’ve been overjoyed at the idea of being on a movie date with Heeseung; and now you’re considering leaving early and catching a taxi home.
The two of you remain silent as the rest of the trailers play on, and Heeseung immediately sits up in his seat when the lights finally dim and the curtains are being pulled back further. He’s incredibly quiet throughout the movie aside from a muffled chuckle every now and then; he even side-eyes anyone making too much noise.
You enjoy Twilight nonetheless, agreeing with Heeseung that you do in fact dress like Bella Swan from time to time. When he asks if you liked it as you’re exiting the theater, you tell him it was very nice, and that you hope there’ll be another movie.
Heeseung smiles at this, tossing his empty cup in a nearby trash bin. “I’m sure there will be. Maybe they’ll even cast you as Bella’s stunt double since you already have the clothes.”
“Shut up.” You tease, and it feels nice to be able to joke around with him as usual. Maybe you’ll finally have the courage to tell Heeseung why you’ve been so distant these past few days.
Saw doesn’t get out for another few minutes, so you’re stuck waiting in the lobby for Chaeryeong and everyone else. Heeseung gestures towards the nearly empty slushie cup clutched in your hands, “You get free refills on that, I think.”
You take his word, strolling over to the concession stand. Jake spots you immediately and gestures for you to skip around the line. You shake your head, but he still beckons for you to come over. You feel bad, but the line has gotten longer since you were first here, and you really don’t want to wait in a long line just for a refill.
“What flavor?” He asks once you’ve slid him your cup.
You tell him anything is fine and he gets to work, combining the cherry and blue raspberry flavors. “How was the movie?”
“It was good. The vampire stuff was cool.”
“Have you seen Saw yet? It just came out.”
“No, I haven’t.”
“It’s so good; if you wanna give me your number maybe we can see it together some time.”
What is it with guys offering to take you out to a movie they’ve already seen? You’re not complaining, it’s just odd.
Jake is clearly interested in you and has offered to take you out. You'd be silly to pass up on this guy just because your current relationship with your longtime crush is at a standstill. So you accept, scribbling your phone number down on a napkin with your name underneath. He makes a promise to call you once his shift is over, and that he looks forward to seeing you.
When you turn to meet up with Heeseung, he’s gone. You catch him storming out of the theater, hauling ass to his car.
You run to catch up to him, calling out his name and begging him to slow down.
When he finally does stop, there’s a look on his face that you’ve never seen before. He gets angry all the time, but this was something completely different, something unrecognizable.
He was hurt.
“So you were just using me, huh?”
What? What is he talking about?
“Using you for what?”
“To lose your virginity. You just wanted to get it over with, right?” His voice is slightly hushed now, but still loud enough for you to feel embarrassed about anyone passing through the parking lot.
“Heeseung, what are you talking about?”
“You used me to lose your virginity, so when you date other guys you can tell them you’ve had sex before. Is that what this is?”
This accusation hurts, considering that Heeseung was the only guy you’ve ever been interested in romantically and sexually. You don’t know where this theory is coming from, but you don’t like it.
Heeseung continues before you respond, “I tried reaching out and talking to you, and you just blew me off! And yet here you are giving your number to random guys! Am I not good enough for you?!”
“It’s not like that, Heeseung!” You don’t mean to raise your voice at him, but you can’t help it. Both of your emotions were at an all time high.
“Then what is it like?!”
Here goes nothing.
There’s already tears forming as you go to explain yourself. “I didn’t reach out to you because…because I was embarrassed.”
“You were embarrassed to have sex with me?”
This is bad; really, really bad. Much worse than you could have ever imagined.
It’s started raining by now, and if Heeseung noticed it, then he doesn’t seem to care; allowing the raindrops to stain his outfit and ruin his eye makeup.
It feels like a scene from a movie, him standing there in the pouring rain waiting for a response while you stumble over your words to formulate one.
“No!” You yell in reassurance, “No, no, no. Of course not. I was embarrassed because I know you didn’t finish. I just thought maybe I did something wrong or maybe I didn’t do enough.”
Heeseung quirks a brow at you, “What makes you think I didn’t finish?”
You really hate that he’s making you explain this. “I saw the condom afterwards; it was empty.”
“You went digging in my trash can to find the condom?” Now he looks more disgusted than confused; this is going so horribly.
“No! I saw it when I went to get my phone off the charger.”
Heeseung takes a minute to process everything, scratching his chin in deep thought. You can’t tell what he’s feeling, but he does look hurt. It makes you regret avoiding him in the first place.
“So, you were prepared to never talk to me again over an empty condom?” Despite his tough demeanor, he’s clearly shaking as he questions you.
You want to say no, that it wasn’t a case, but you can’t bring yourself to lie to him again. So you say nothing. Heeseung nods at your lack of response before turning around and walking towards his car. You remain still, frozen in place, watching as he sits on the hood of his car and smokes a cigarette.
If it weren’t for Chaeryeong finishing her movie within the next few minutes, you would’ve walked the entire way home.
———
This bitch is driving you crazy.
Your older sister, Imogen, is home for a few days to start her wedding preparations. The fake bridezilla persona she's putting on bothers you the most, bursting out in tears at the most inconvenient times or having a breakdown about selecting a theme. Deep down, she doesn't care about any of this bullshit; she's like you about parties or big events.
"This is literally the biggest day of my life, and you're being so fucking difficult." Imogen snarls at you, pouring herself a cup of coffee. You're sitting a few feet away on the kitchen counter, staring out the kitchen window. Despite Imogen's occasional yelling and snarky comments, all you can think of is Heeseung.
It's been an entire week since the movie theater incident. You haven't stopped by the Lee household not once, telling Chaeryeong you fell ill and don't want to get her sick. It's another lame excuse, but she buys it, opting to talk to you on the phone daily until you recover.
You have yet to speak to Heeseung; but it's not like you've tried. The idea of messaging him on Facebook and not receiving a response makes you anxious, and it's hard to believe you subjected him to the same torture not long ago. It doesn't help that Scarlett is suddenly all over his page, commenting on nearly every one of his posts, writing on his wall, or tagging him in pictures. Your recurring dream of curb-stomping her is back in full force.
You sigh at your sister, "Whatever you say, Imogen."
She waves dismissively at you, "Please, don't even talk to me right now."
You hop off the counter in annoyance and stomp off towards the staircase, mumbling, "Fucking drama queen."
"Language." Your mom warns you, flipping through one of the several bridal magazines your sister has stacked on the coffee table.
Imogen scoffs, setting her mug on the counter. "I'm the drama queen? Whenever I talk about my wedding, you throw a fit."
"Why are you pretending to care about this stupid wedding and that stupid boy you barely even know?!" You shout back from the staircase.
"If my wedding is so stupid, then don't come!"
"I don't even want to go to your stupid wedding with your stupid fiancé and your stupid red velvet cake that no one's going to fucking eat!"
This is probably the dumbest fight you've ever had.
Imogen doesn’t respond to this, advised by your mother no to and to just let you stomp up the stairs in a furious rage. You make a beeline straight to your desktop, waking up the computer with a shake of the mouse and entering your password.
Facebook is already open once you’ve signed in, Heeseung’s page staring right back at you. You’re ashamed to admit you’d been cyber stalking him, but you really didn’t have any other choice. Seeing him in person would’ve been too much, but you still want to make sure he’s doing okay.
There’s a new post up when you refresh the page, you chew on your bottom lip as you anxiously wait for it to finish loading.
It’s a picture of his dirty Chuck Taylor’s perched upon a wooden stool. You recognize the background immediately, he’s in the treehouse in his backyard. You and Chaeryeong would spend hours up there as kids, giving each other manicures and exchanging secrets; now you can barely look her in the eye without bursting out in tears. You hate how complicated things have become.
There’s a light tap against your door that has you swiveling around in your chair. It’s Imogen, leaning against your doorframe with her arms crossed. “Who’s that?”
“Chaeryeong’s brother.” You respond, scrolling to a photo that actually shows his face.
Imogen steps further into your bedroom, squinting her eyes at the computer screen. “Oh, yeah. Hasn’t changed much, has he?” When you remain silent, she asks, “Would it be wrong of me to assume he’s the real reason why you’re so upset?”
You sigh, letting your shoulders drop. “You’d be very correct, actually.”
She nods in understanding, taking a seat on the edge of your bed. “So, what’s going on? You like him?”
“We kind of like each other, I guess.” You mumble. To be honest, you’re not quite sure how Heeseung feels about you right now.
“And Chaeryeong doesn’t approve of it?”
You snort, “Chaeryeong doesn’t know. There was nothing to tell her at first, but things have changed.”
“Are you guys dating?”
“No. We actually haven’t talked in a week. I may have hurt his feelings.”
Imogen nods towards your desktop, “Where is he now?”
You shrug, “Home, I guess.”
She stands, stretching out her limbs. She glances around your room, locates a jacket dangling lifelessly from your doorknob, and tosses it to you. “Let’s go.”
Taking an impromptu trip to the Lee household had you sweating. What if Heeseung doesn’t even want to see you? What if Chaeryeong catches you talking and asks what’s going on?
Each concern you raise is instantly shot down by Imogen, claiming you’re creating excuses to avoid seeing him, how you’re only imagining the worst possible scenarios. You appreciate her overwhelming support but can’t help the nervousness creeping through your body as her car approaches the Lee household.
“Remember, be apologetic but not desperate,” Imogen informs you, putting her car in park in front of the house.
“I am desperate.” You remind her.
“Well, don’t let him see it. You got this.”
You thank your sister one last time for the advice before stepping out of her car. You’re careful to avoid being seen from windows as you make your way into the backyard; not entirely sure what you’d say if Chaeryeong were to catch you.
You scale the tree quickly, silently praying the old wooden steps are stable enough to hold your weight.
You sigh in relief once you’ve reached the top, only to groan at the sight of Scarlett sitting across from you. She looks up from her iPod with a bright smile, quickly pulling out her earbuds as you enter the treehouse. “Hey, stranger! Watcha doing here?”
Her enthusiasm really makes you sick. “Came to see Heeseung,” you pause to glance around the tiny, wooden deathtrap, “but he’s nowhere to be found.”
“He’ll be back soon; went to use the bathroom,” Scarlett informs you, running her hands through her hair. “So, you guys really like each other, huh?”
What? She knows about that?
“Heeseung told you?” You question, trying your best to appear unbothered. You’re unsure where she’s going with this, but you have no reason to trust her.
Scarlett nods, “We tell each other everything. So when he told me you guys weren’t talking, I may have devised a plan to help you come around. You do use Facebook, right?” She smirks
Holy shit, all the posts of them together were to make you feel jealous enough to have a conversation with him; and your sworn enemy was the mastermind behind it. It was all a ploy to get under your skin, and you fell right into the trap.
“You’re a stubborn little thing, though. Didn’t think it’d take you so long.” She comments, slipping her jacket on.
You shrug, “I didn’t think he’d want to talk to me.”
“Heeseung always wants to talk to you. I don’t mind it, though. You seem good for him.”
Aside from Chaeryeong, Scarlett is probably the last person you would’ve expected to be supportive of your relationship with Heeseung. So, to hear she’d been secretly rooting for you behind the scenes nearly gives you whiplash. You almost feel wrong about your dreams of shoving her face into the pavement.
You tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear, “So, nothing is going on between you guys?”
Scarlett grimaces as if you deeply offended her, “Of course not! Don’t get me wrong, he’s cute, but not my type. His sister is cute, though.”
Woah.
“Chaeryeong? Lee Chaeryeong? You’re into her?” You ask, completely stunned.
“Hell yes. Hey, do you think you could set us up? Heeseung would never.”
“You do know that Chaeryeong can’t stand you, right?”
Scarlett excitedly nods, “I know, it’s kind of a turn-on.”
You hold your hands out to stop her from elaborating any further. Scarlett has surprised you in more ways than one in less than five minutes. You’re sure any new information would’ve made your head explode.
“I’ll…try my best.” You promise; not quite sure how Chaeryeong would feel about the idea of Scarlett liking her.
“For what?” A voice interrupts, causing you and Scarlett to direct your attention to the treehouse’s entrance. And there he is, in all his gothic glory.
“Girl talk, none of your business,” Scarlett responds, making room for Heeseung to crawl in.
“Fine. You keep your secrets; I’ll keep mine.” Heeseung groans, sitting between the two of you.
“Will do. I’m outta here. Got a hot date with a box of hair dye. See you suckers later.” Scarlett waves goodbye as she exits the treehouse, reminding you of your promise before disappearing down the steps.
Heeseung clears his throat, sweeping his hair away from his eyes. "So—"
"I'm sorry," you cut him off, "I should've reached out and talked to you, but I was just too embarrassed and didn't know how to approach you about it. I really like you, and I wasn't using you to lose my virginity. I mean, you're the only person I've ever been interested in. So, again, I'm sorry."
He sighs, "I understand why you were embarrassed, but I promise it had nothing to do with you."
"Then what was it?"
Heeseung anxiously scratches the back of his head before he responds. "It's just that…sometimes…it takes me a little bit longer to, uh…to finish."
Oh.
"Is it because of your…size?" You can't help but wonder.
Heeseung snorts, "What, you think I'm big?"
"I'm out of here." You joke, faking as if you're about to leave.
"Wait, wait, wait." He stops you, "I was only kidding. I never really thought size played a factor in it, but every guy is different. But, still, that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy us having sex. I mean, you had already finished, and I didn't want to tire you out just for my sake."
Knowing he had a perfectly reasonable explanation makes you feel even worse about spending all that time avoiding him. You want to tell him you wouldn't mind him tiring you out, that the idea excites you, but you refrain.
A beat of silence passes, and you ask, "But, I'm sure if there's something that you're really into, then it wouldn't take as long for you to finish. Right?"
Heeseung nods, "I guess."
"Then, what is it? What are you into?"
He coughs, tips of his ears turning a light shade of pink. "Um…I guess I'm into…roughness?"
Ah.
"That's not a big deal. A lot of people are probably into that."
"I mean, it's fine either way, but I mostly prefer when girls are kinda rough with me. Fuck, this is embarrassing."
"It's not!" You reassure him, placing a gentle hand on his knee, "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. I appreciate you trusting me enough to tell me."
Heeseung stares at your hand on his knee before placing his own on top. You twist yours upwards and interlock your fingers, not missing the smile that forms on his face. His bangs have swept into his eyes again, and you use your free hand to move them out of the way. "It was my first time, too, by the way."
You snort, "You don't need to say that just to make me feel better."
"I'm serious," he continues, "I mean, I've gotten pretty handsy in the past, but nothing like what we did."
You shake your head, "I don't buy it. You seemed so experienced like you knew what you were doing."
Heeseung shrugs, "I mean, I'm not completely innocent. I may occasionally watch certain videos and read certain stories from time to time."
Porn and smut. Beautiful combination.
He shakes his head, "You still don't believe me; how come?"
You sigh, memories of the night before he left for college flashing in your mind. How you ran home in tears, how he only responded to Scar's comment on Chaeryeong's Facebook post. It almost hurts to think about. "The night before you left for school, there was an opened condom wrapper on your floor. I just figured…you know."
Heeseung nods at the memory. "I wasn't gonna go to the dorms the next day. I was planning on running away, that's why I gave you that bandana. After my parents helped bring my stuff to the dorms, I was gonna put everything in my car then take off."
You're having a hard time processing this information. Why would Heeseung plan on running away? What does this story have to do with the empty condom?
He continues, clutching your hand even tighter. "I only told a few people I was leaving, and there was this one girl who came over to say goodbye. She'd been really into me for a while and was heartbroken that I was leaving. We were about to hook up, hence the condom wrapper, but I couldn't do it."
"Why?" You question.
"Didn't feel right. I wasn't into her the same way she was into me. Just couldn't do it." He explains, eyes staring deep into yours. You believe him; you know he's being truthful.
"What made you decide to stay?" You ask.
"For Chaeryeong," he answers, "I couldn't just leave her like that. And for you, too."
Though you've felt it for many years, telling Heeseung you love him is too soon. But you want to, so very badly.
"I'm glad you decided to stay." Your voice is barely a whisper now as you try to stop yourself from tearing up.
He nods, "Me too."
You sit in comfortable silence for a minute, clutching each other's hands. You wish you could stay like this forever.
"I just realized you never told me if there's anything you're into." He points out.
You shrug, "Just you." And it's true: Heeseung is the only person you've ever been interested in. Everything he says and does is genuinely attractive to you.
He drops your hand gently, using it to tilt your head towards him, and he kisses you.
You're quick to cradle the back of his head as his hands snake around your waist, deepening the kiss. You move to straddle his lap, slowly pushing him onto his back. He grunts in surprise, breaking away from the kiss. "You—"
"Stop talking." You demand before your lips intertwine with his once again. With one hand on his chest, you reach to grab a fistful of his hair and tug lightly, earning a satisfied moan from him. You're not used to being rough with guys, but you're sure Heeseung enjoys it with the way his erection is pressing up against your thigh.
Reluctantly, you pull away from him and sit up, staring at him sprawled underneath you in complete awe. "Alright, I'll message you my number so we can text. See you later."
"No! No, no, no. Please don't go." He pleads, holding you in place when you go to stand, "Just stay a little longer, please."
You smile down at him, fighting the urge to stay in the treehouse. "I can't. Imogen is waiting out front. We'll see each other soon, okay?" You promise, planting a kiss on his forehead.
Heeseung nods, drumming against the floor as he watches you crawl out of the treehouse. "Don't be too surprised if I seem extra excited to see you next time." He calls after you.
"Trust me, I won't."
———
Heeseung is the first boy to ever sneak in through your bedroom window.
He carelessly tosses his backpack in first, cringing when it lands on your carpeted floor with a loud thud. Though you’ve assured him your parents are heavy sleepers, he’s still worried you’ll get in trouble if he makes too much noise and accidentally reveals himself. “Sorry,” he apologizes, hand gripping your forearm as you help pull him in.
“It’s fine,” you whisper back, “they’re not gonna wake up.”
“Still,” he grunts, using his upper body strength to pull him further into your room. “Don’t want you getting in trouble.”
It’s a day after the treehouse incident; as promised, you sent Heeseung your number and spent all day texting back and forth. Despite not being big on texting, you admire how Heeseung likes to keep you updated on what he’s doing and how he checks up on you to ensure you’re okay.
“We’ll be fine, but just in case, I did make room for you in my closet in case you have to hide.” You inform him.
Heeseung stifles a laugh, “Good to know.” He settles himself on the edge of your bed, moving over once he realizes he’d sat on a pile of clothing. “Oh, were you about to shower?”
“I was,” you answer, moving the clothing over to your nightstand, “but I’ll wait until after you leave.”
He has to stop himself from making a joke about joining you in the shower. He nods, leaning down to drag his backpack towards him, “Guess what I got today.”
“What?” You question, legs folded underneath your body as you sit beside him.
Heeseung slowly unzips his backpack, careful not to make too much noise before rummaging through it and clutching something in his hand. He momentarily turns his back towards you, clips something to his shirt, then turns back around.
There’s a name tag on his chest now with his name scribbled in black ink and a little star next to it. “A job?”
He nods, “At that music store, Spin City. Need to start saving up before classes start. Plus, I wanna take you out somewhere nice before summer’s over.”
You gulp, “Like, a date?”
“Yeah. I mean, unless… I don’t know. I just kinda figured…” He trails off, suddenly worried he may be scaring you off.
You grab ahold of his hand, “I know, and trust me, you’re perfect, and I want us to be together. But, the night we saw you at that party, I did ask Chaeryeong if she would be upset if I was into you. Surprisingly, she said she wouldn’t mind as long as I talked to her before making a move on you. And, well…”
“We made a move on each other without telling her,” Heeseung finishes for you.
You nod, “Exactly.”
He sighs, “So, I’m guessing that means you wanna wait before we make things official.”
“Yeah. No matter what, I still want to be with you. But it’d be best for all of us to get her on board with this first. Show her how much we truly care for each other, and make sure she’s okay with it. So she knows my relationship with you won’t affect our friendship, and vice versa.” You explain. Heeseung’s eyes never stray from yours, listening intently and nodding at everything you say.
“That’s fair,” he agrees, “It’s a good idea. Do you want me to talk to her? Or for us to talk to her together?”
You shake your head, “She’ll definitely freak out on you; it’s best if I do it alone first, then you talk to her afterward.”
Heeseung leans back against your bed, resting his head on your pillow. It’s funny how different your aesthetics are; he looks perfectly out of place, sprawled on your baby pink pillow surrounded by teddy bears. “When?”
“I dunno,” you respond, lowering yourself until your head rests comfortably on his bicep. “Doesn’t have to be right away. As long as it’s before we move into the dorms.”
“We shouldn’t wait too long, though. It’ll only make things worse.” Heeseung mumbles, pulling you closer to him.
“I know. I’ll have a talk with her soon, I promise.”
You interlock pinkies to solidify your promise and ease his nerves. You hadn’t realized how anxiety-inducing this was for Heeseung as well. The idea of Chaeryeong not approving of your relationship had him genuinely worried.
“But, you should know that no matter what—” he starts.
You cut him off, “I know.”
———
The hands that once purposely dumped slime in your hair are now tugging your panties down your legs.
“Can we try something?” Heeseung asks with a mumble against your lips, your soft blue underwear now clutched in the palm of his hand.
“Like what? I actually make you come for once?” You joke, earning a laugh from Heeseung.
“Don’t worry about me.” He presses another kiss against your lips, “You trust me?”
“Of course.” You respond, sitting up in Heeseung’s bed as he moves backward, never breaking eye contact with you. He pushes your skirt up slightly but pats your hand away when you go to remove it altogether.
“Leave it on.” He commands, bringing himself at face level with your cunt.
You’ve never felt this shy in your life, grateful your bunched-up skirt created the tiniest barrier between having Heeseung see you all flustered. Never had you been this intimate with a guy, especially not a guy you technically weren’t even dating.
His thumb is circling your clit before you have the time to protest, to tell him he doesn’t have to do this just for your sake, but the feeling of his fingers pressed against you has you at a loss for words.
“This okay?” He asks.
“Yeah.” You respond, tilting your head upwards to stare at the ceiling.
Before you know it, his middle and index fingers are pressed against your opening, eliciting a gasp from your lips. At your reaction, Heeseung slips his finger into your entrance, thumb still playing with your clit. He insists on being teasingly slow today, wanting to draw out every moment and observe your reaction.
He pumps his fingers in and out of you in a slow, consistent motion, an amused smirk on his lips when he hears your breathing become ragged. Abruptly, he slips his fingers out of you, moving your thighs to rest them atop his shoulders.
“Wait, you don’t have to—oh fuck.” You’re cut off by Heeseung pushing himself forward, placing a sudden kiss on your clit that has your hips jolting in the air. His hand grabs your waist and licks at your slit, keeping you in place as he gently returns your body to his mattress.
His growing erection is the last of his worries, all too focused on dragging his tongue across your cunt. He flattens his tongue, pulling the wetness upward until he’s circling your clit again. In search of something to grab onto, your hands grip the bed sheets until Heeseung reaches forward, moving your hand over to grip his hair.
His eyes are closed when you look down at him, and you swear you can hear him moan as he eats you out. You try your best to keep the noise down out of fear someone will hear, but you can’t help but yell out when he’s back to fingering you, all while circling your clit with his tongue.
Your grip on his hair tightens, pushing his face further into your pussy, and he lets out a satisfied groan. It’s embarrassing how quickly your orgasm approaches; everything with Heeseung is so intense. He knows this, eyes fluttering open to watch your expressions. Black eyeshadow is smeared across his eyelids as his eyes focus on your own, hands gripping your thighs as he tongue circles your clit.
His fingers are relentlessly pumping into your cunt now, contrasting against how teasingly slow his tongue is moving. He pulls his mouth away, lips glistening with your arousal, and asks, “You close?”
You don’t respond directly, but the grip you have on his hair gives him all the answers he needs before he’s diving back in. It doesn’t take much for you to come after that, a final kiss pressed on your clit, sending you over the edge and coating Heeseung’s fingers.
Heeseung doesn’t stop there, still continuing to lick and suck your clit until you’re begging him to stop from the overstimulation.
“Sorry.” He apologizes, planting a kiss on your inner thigh, “Was that good?”
“That was literally the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” You respond. Heeseung lets out a laugh as he crawls up next to you. “I should be upset with you, though.”
“What?” He questions, peppering your face with kisses, “Why’s that?”
“I came over to talk to your sister about us, and you distracted me.”
“How’d I do that?”
“Because! You came downstairs in your eyeshadow. Then you were all like, ‘Oh, hey. I cleaned my room; wanna check it out?’” You mimic a deep voice that sounds nothing like his.
“I apologize for putting on eyeshadow, bringing you to my room, and eating you out. Can you find it in your heart to forgive me?”
“I guess.”
You both laugh at this as you move to pull your skirt down. “Hey, how’d you realize you like it when girls are rough with you?”
Heeseung shakes his head as the memory returns to him, a shy smile on his face as he glances over at you. “A little while ago, I was picking on Chaeryeong for something. I don’t even remember why, but it got to the point where my parents were telling me to stop, and I wouldn’t. Then, you just started yelling at me out of nowhere, and I don’t know why, but it was the hottest thing ever. I was in awe. I really thought you were gonna slap me. Since then, it’s just been a turn-on of mine.”
“Wow. That’s actually kind of pathetic.” You tease.
He groans, “Please don’t say that. You’re gonna make me hard again.”
Laughter is shared between you once again before you lean your head down to rest on his chest, the sound of his steady heartbeat making you feel calm. A comfortable minute of silence passes before you have to address the unfortunate inevitable, “Chaeryeong should be here soon, right?”
“Yeah,” Heeseung mumbles, “within the next ten minutes.”
You sigh, “Next time I come over, I’ll have to tell her about us.”
———
The next time you stop by the Lee household, Heeseung has you bent over in the backseat of his car.
His finger digs into your waist as his cock is plunging into you at full force, emptying all the thoughts from your brain. You still haven’t fully adjusted to his size, but you don’t care; the pain of being split open makes you come faster. It feels better.
Heeseung insisted on taking things slow, telling you that you’d need to adjust to his size, but the moment you sunk your dripping cunt onto him, he was under your spell.
Your body lunges forward with every rough stroke Heeseung gives you, hands buried in your hair as he pulls you up against his chest. His hand moves from your hair down to your neck, tilting your head back while applying the slightest bit of pressure against your throat. Your eyes close out of instinct as tears form in the corner of your eyes before trickling down your cheeks. He kisses them away one by one before settling his lips on your neck. You make a mental note to check yourself for hickeys afterward.
You’re coming around him before you realize it, body spasming as you grip the driver’s seat headrest. Heeseung shows no signs of stopping or slowing down; in fact, he’s sped up even faster since fucking you through your orgasm. He lets go of your neck to push down on your back, left hand gripping your waist while the right intertwines your fingers with his.
A few strokes later, he’s finally coming and jokes about showing you the used condom as confirmation.
You shake your head, gesturing for him to pass you the shorts he’d tossed in the front seat. “I can’t believe I let you trick me again.”
“What?!” He exclaims in utter shock, reaching in the front seat to grab your discarded clothing, “How exactly did I trick you?”
“I came over to talk to Chaeryeong, but then you were all like, ‘Hey, come look at my car; I just got it washed.’” You playfully roll your eyes, searching around the backseat for your underwear.
“Can I keep these?” He asks suddenly, the most nonchalant expression on his face as your panties dangle from his middle finger.
You scoff, reaching to snatch them from him, confused when he retracts his hand. “I think I will keep them until you talk to Chaeryeong. Since it was you who wanted to talk to her first.”
“Then, I guess I’ll get them back tomorrow because I’m definitely talking to her today.”
Except you don’t.
You spent the entire summer sneaking around with Heeseung and procrastinating about having that talk with Chaeryeong. It was anxiety-inducing, to say the least, and you had no idea how she’d react. You tell yourself she won’t be upset as long as you assure her your friendship won’t be affected by you dating her brother.
You’re scheduled to move into the dorms within a few weeks, so it’s best to sort things out now before you all live under the same roof, unable to avoid one another. Heeseung doesn’t seem nervous at all. In fact, he’d given you a pep-talk the day before you showed up at their home.
“She can’t stay mad forever.” He pointed out, eyes sealed shut as you do his eyeliner.
“I know,” you mumbled, adjusting yourself on his lap, “but that girl can hold a grudge.”
“Right, but this is you we’re talking about. You mean a lot to her, to both of us, actually.”
His words play in your mind as you enter the Lee household, following Chaeryeong into the kitchen. “Baking something?” You ask, a sweet, decadent scent hitting your nose.
“Brownies for some stupid bake sale my parents are having. Help me clean up?” She asks, pouting her lips at you.
“Sure.” You agree, under the assumption that there wouldn’t be much to even clean up.
Boy, you were wrong. It’s like Chaeryeong used every dish in the house to make one sheet of brownies. There’s no backing out now; you already agreed to help, and it’d be best to stay on her good side for now.
She gets to work rinsing each dish before handing them to you to load the dishwasher, moving quickly to get everything done faster.
“What a beautiful friendship.” A familiar voice comments; you fight back a smile as Chaeryeong groans at her brother.
“You wouldn’t know; you don’t have any friends,” Chaeryeong responds, laughing at her words.
“Neither will you, soon,” Heeseung whispers back, groaning when you swat him in the chest. “Any brownie batter left?”
“None for you. Shouldn’t you be at work?” Chaeryeong asks, handing you another dish.
Chaeryeong takes a break from rinsing off the dishes to bicker with Heeseung for a minute. You tune out from the conversation, dipping your fingers into the leftover batter bowl and gathering the chocolate on your fingers.
“I’m leaving, I’m leaving,” Heeseung says. When Chaeryeong finally directs her attention elsewhere, Heeseung takes the opportunity to grab your wrist, bringing your fingers up to his lips before sucking the chocolate off them.
Your eyes practically bulge out of your head, nervously glancing behind you to ensure Chaeryeong hadn’t seen anything. You swat at Heeseung’s chest for the second time, and he laughs as if you’re being overly dramatic. It’s odd how surprisingly calm he is about everything. His demeanor would have worried you if you didn’t trust him so much.
Heeseung wipes the renaming bit of chocolate around his lips before mouthing ‘Good luck.’ You give him a nervous smile, watching as he slips past Chaeryeong and leaves out the front door. You get back to work, making small talk with Chaeryeong as you help her load the dishwasher.
It’s now or never.
“So,” you start, “we’re gonna be living together soon.”
Chaeryeong smiles, “Finally! God, I can’t wait to have some freedom. My stupid curfew is a major cock-block. Right when things are finally getting good on a date, I have to go back home. So fucking frustrating. There’s literally cobwebs in my vagina.”
You snort, loading the final dish into the washer. “Well, you won’t have that problem anymore.”
“I know. And maybe you’ll even find someone worthy even to date you.” Chaeryeong jokes, hopping on the kitchen counter.
“Uh, what if I already have found someone…worthy enough?” You question, pressing a few buttons to get the dishwasher going.
“As if.”
“Chaeryeong, I’m serious.”
She sighs, still not buying your confession. “Alright then, who is it?”
“...Your brother.”
A beat of silence passes, and then Chaeryeong doubles over in laughter, nearly slipping off the counter several times in a matter of seconds. It takes her a minute to catch her breath, clutching her collar for support as she regulates her breathing; even tears are forming in her eyes. “Holy fuck, can you imagine? You and my brother? Jesus Christ.”
“Look, there isn’t an easy way to say this, but we really do like each other. We’ve been…together this whole summer. Well, not officially; I didn’t want to put a label on anything without talking to you about it first.” You finally confess. The weight on your shoulders doesn’t immediately drop as you expected; it’s like the load has gotten heavier.
Chaeryeong has a blank expression as she stares at you, eyes darting around the kitchen as she processes the information. “You’re serious?”
You nod.
She shakes her head, eyes closed as she asks,“What kind of friend are you? You’re that desperate for a boyfriend you go after the only boy you know? My brother?”
Fuck.
“Chaeryeong, please, let me—”
She cuts you off, hopping off the counter and inching towards you. “So, what? All this time, you were using me to get close to Heeseung? Out of every fucking guy on the planet? Ones that have spent years throwing themself at you?”
“No! Of course not! Chaeryeong, I never even imagined myself in a relationship with him until this summer, I swear!” Your voice trembles as Chaeryeong approaches you.
“Oh, really? You expect me to believe that, huh? So it’s just a coincidence that you guys suddenly got together right before we’re all gonna be living in the same building?”
“I know it doesn’t sound great, but—”
“I think you should go.” Chaeryeong cuts you off calmly, her sudden change in demeanor shocking you. A moment ago, she looked angry enough to hit you, but now, she seems a few seconds away from breaking down in tears.
You nod understandably, telling Chaeryeong to take all the time she needs and to call you when she’s ready to talk.
She doesn’t say a word as you exit her house, and you wonder if you’ve just lost the best friend you’ve ever had.
———
“I’ve never seen her this angry, Heeseung. I thought she was gonna hit me or something.” You groan, ear pressed up against your phone as you rant to Heeseung.
It's been a few hours since you left Chaeryeong’s house; Heeseung had promised to call you during his break to hear how the conversation went. You’re still shaking as the memories flood back to you, how your best friend in the world accused you of using her. What a fucking joke.
“She’ll get over it, trust me. Y’know, before I called you, she spent five minutes yelling at me over the phone. Five fucking minutes, and I just took it. She’ll be fine.” He says, following up with a loud slurping noise that suggests Heeseung has chosen to have ramen for lunch.
It’s astonishing how calm he’s managed to stay this entire time.
You flip over on the couch, head resting on the armrest as you stare at the ceiling. “I just don’t wanna lose her. She’s a fireball, for sure, but she’s my fireball. I don’t know what I’d do without her.”
“I just told you you’re not gonna be without her, okay?”
“...Okay.”
There’s a knock at your front door, most likely from the pizza delivery Heeseung had sent to your house.
“I gotta go. The food is here. Are you still stopping by after your shift?”
“Of course. You gonna be alright?”
“Yeah,” you stand, making your way to the front door. “I’ll save you some pizza.”
He chuckles at that, “You better. I’ll see you later, okay? I love you.”
He what?
“You what?” You pause, hand on the doorknob.
“I love you, and I’ll see you later.” He hangs up.
You don’t have time to process his words; the knocking at your front door happens again.
Twisting the knob, you’re met with Chaeryeong staring back at you. “Chaeryeong? What’re you—”
“I don’t care if you date Heeseung.” She claims, storming through your front door, “If you guys want to be together, then I’m not standing in the way. But I will not be your friend if you date him, so it’s either him or me.”
You follow Chaeryeong into your living room, your pulse quickening upon hearing her ultimatum. “Chaeryeong, that’s not—”
“Before you choose…as a girl, and as your friend, I have to be completely honest with you.” She sighs, fingers nervously raking through her hair as she sits on your couch. “I called Heeseung after you left, and he talked to me about you guys.”
You nod, taking a seat next to her. “Okay, and…?”
She sighs again, taking your hand in her own. “Everything he’s ever told you was a lie.”
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