#idk what i'm doing on here but here goes

[thewickedspinster]

requests are open!

hi there! i've been around for a while, but i'm just now starting to engage and post here for myself. i'm a writer, mostly of fanfic but also of some other wips, and i want to extend my services to the tumblr side of the internet! i write for a slew of characters that are all wildly different, which i'll list below. send a message to my inbox with your ideas! i'll hear anything out and let ya know if i'm cool with it.

also, here's a link to my acotar fic on ao3 should you desire proof that i can, in fact, write:

the lineup:

sjm universe

azriel

cassian

nesta archeron

elain archeron

eris vanserra

lucien vanserra

aedion ashryver

chaol westfall

rowan whitethorn

fenrys moonbeam

lysandra

ruhn danaan

tharion ketos (sue me)

harry potter

james potter

remus lupin

harry potter

ron weasley

fred weasley

hermione granger

cedric diggory

lotr

aragorn

legolas

thranduil

maedhros

thorin oakenshield

misc

carmy berzatto (the bear)

tristan caine (the atlas six)

callum nova (the atlas six)

parisa kamali (the atlas six)

matthias helvar (six of crows)

nikolai lanstov (king of scars)

geralt of rivia (the witcher)

daemon targaryen (hotd)

rhaenyra targaryen (hotd)

robb stark (got)

jaime lannister (got)

honestly ask me and i'll probably be happy to write abt them!

[vaguely-concerned]

thinking about not only the specific people lucanis pulls in to represent the 'locks' in his psyche, but the storytelling that happens in the structure/order of them. the underlying ideas are presented something like:

the lucanis who went into the ossuary never came back out again; he died down there (the boy caterina raised is gone forever) -> you're putting yourself in danger doing this (by being close to me), you should leave because I can't bear it if you get hurt because of me -> it doesn't matter even if we do try this, it won't work anyway (again because of me) ('you know what he's like, you can open the door but he won't walk through it' :'( oofie doofie) -> what if the real secret is that there was never anything but the monster in here from the beginning. you should leave, there was never anything here worth saving in the first place. (implicitly: what if I deserved what happened, all along.)

it runs pretty cleanly from outward-oriented attachment anxiety ('caterina won't even want me back like this, she won't recognize me (the same way I no longer recognize myself)) and gradually deeper inwards until we reach self-image and self worth. or you know, the harrowing basic lack of it lol.

"careful -- they'll know we're not right," spite says in one of their first scenes... but clearly, some very deep part of lucanis has feared or suspected for much longer than that that there's something inherently not right at the core of him, way before any demon entered the picture. and the voice he gives those lines to is the person who should know him better than anyone in the world, who he has loved more than anyone in the world -- and who deliberately chose to hurt him so horrifically anyway. 'It's better if I'm just a monster and deserved what happened than it is to allow for the idea that the brother I love doesn't really exist and maybe never did'. it's better if he's fundamentally flawed in some way that needed fixing to help him survive, and that's why caterina chose to hurt him again and again -- out of love. (this one I think he might have a very sad wakeup call on one day if he ever ends up with the responsibility and care of a child of his own in some way and realizes just how alien the idea of ever intentionally hurting them for any reason is to him. oh buddy. also interesting that he keeps caterina as the outermost lock -- there IS a distance he keeps there that he hasn't with illario. he doesn't resent her 'anymore' he says, but he also keeps her carefully further away from his deepest self.)

as far as I could tell the only note in the mind prison that's fully hidden and needs to be uncovered is the sad painful helpless stupid little truth that even after all this, even knowing what happened... he still loves his brother. is there anything illario could ever do that would make lucanis completely stop loving him, do you think? sometimes the trouble with unconditional love is that it is, well. unconditional, even when some terms and conditions probably would have been in order haha.

that's the pattern you see there again and again; he would rather destroy and abandon and imprison himself at every turn than let go of love, even when it's just scraps, even when there's only ever enough of it to hurt him. it's only when rook shows up and as it were takes his hand and walks along with him that he can entertain the idea of changing the story of what walking out the door might mean in the end.

[theusernameiwantisntavailable]

Returning to my roots, just a quick soft doodle :)

[enemywasp]

I HATE tiktok and the Internet in general rn for the obsession with "oh this person's smellyyy" "Brother it STINKS over here" "BOO 💧🧼🧽🚿" and stuff like that. I wish I could put into words how demeaning and patronising that whole idea is and people implying anyone they don't like doesn't wash.

For one there's something grating about being insulted in a manner like we're in nursery again. But also WHY is that the go to insult. Why do you associate these things? Especially to those you deem "chronically online". Like I don't want to sound pathetic but it feels so nasty to me.

is it extreme to say this feels tied to ableism? And classism too?

[flowerakatsuka]

i took this screenshot while watching sakura yesterday bc i liked the lighting and pose, but it's been on my mind all freaking day. the reason why kara's the only one still fucking around & drinking with his biker buddies is because that phone call he ran to get was a rejection. he tried to find something to do to help out, but failed. he struggled to find work back in s1, too, so it makes me wonder if he seemed to give up bc he doubted if he could actually land a job like his brothers...

[colorful-bees]

just went and listened to the usum version of ghetsis’ battle theme and it’s actually got me feeling like this image

like. you mentioned the whips cracking. you didn’t mention the way it sounds like pure bloodlust. i don’t know what it is about it but it sounds like sheer hatred and evil. it doesn’t even sound like a pokémon boss theme. it sounds like the song itself is trying to kill me. and like it could. this is a ghetsis theme with a PUNCH to it. i am viscerally uncomfortable just listening. and i LOVE it. what on earth did they put in it. that is the definitive version of his theme now

IT'S SUCH A GOOD THEME. They somehow manage to make it sound more threatening than the original which is a feat. And it fits so well with the context being that this Ghetsis won in the world he came from. The song itself just sounds cruel, it's perfectly fitting for the version of him who succeeded in conquering Unova.

Just everything about it fills you with this sense of dread that you got from the original but it feels so much more intense here. Every time I listen to it, it makes my skin crawl, it's so great.

[hood-ex]

I have seen you talking about Dick & Dami's relationship and Dick & Tim as well,but what are your takes on Dick and Jason actually?

Like how you wish their relationship should be portrayed today and where are them missing when it comes to making those two acting like siblings?

Do you think in the past their dynamic was better?

How Dick views Jason and how Jason views Dick?

This is difficult to answer because there are like 8 different stages to Dick and Jason's relationship with various dynamics. They also view each other a bit differently depending on which stage we're talking about.

The way I would like their relationship to be portrayed today isn’t necessarily possible thanks to Jason’s integration into the family and acceptance of the no killing moral code. For me, their ideal dynamic is portrayed in Outsiders #44-46. And I know people are gonna find that regressive as hell but, tbh, that dynamic is far more interesting than the kinda awkward thing they have going on now.

Although, I don't mind that they acknowledge their brotherhood in a serious manner now. Like before they'd kinda be like, "Eh... I mean... we were adopted from the same guy but... brothers? Eh..." And now they're more firmly in the, "We're brothers," camp. So that development is interesting.

Character progression wise, it wouldn't feel right for for them to be super close in the way that, say, Dick and Tim are (unless we saw a lot of trust and relationship building between them), but at the same time, there is part of me that kind of wants them to have that older sibling bond (except Jason is closer in age to Tim than he is to Dick sooo actually let's just leave older sibling things to Dick and Cass... not that Cass is much older than Jason though so LOL this is why Dick has to lone the oldest sibling thing by himself... which is funny because Dick is technically no longer the oldest sibling, he's a baby brother now... except Dick and Melinda's relationship really hasn't progressed much sooo you could say they share blood but don't consider each other family yet, in which case, Dick is still the oldest... I mean, regardless, Dick is the oldest sibling of the Waynes... god why did they have to make all of this so difficult 😫).

[squorttle-pox]

idk if it means anything really, but i think it's interesting how after all their time together as a couple in a christianity-adjacent world, lucifer and lilith only had one (1) child, and it was only 200 years ago at that

[agalychnisspranneusroseus]

Man if Marcy keeps ending up with like child protection services in all these fics over her parents being slightly distant then my parents should be in JAIL

[starrysharks]

i wonder if white people specifically white progressives realise that black people are only ever seen as their skin color first and foremost

[cloud-somersault]

idk man, the epilogue is like this really deep...exploration of interpersonal connections and wants and desires interlaced with the complexity of circumstance and consequence and regret and guilt. and I started it as a like "haha, this is what I want! I want two monkeys being gay, haha!"

but it's so. fucking tragic, actually.

just in chapter 1, we see how defeated Macaque is, how lost he is. how he hesitates and flip flops constantly. how he says or thinks something with certainty, but then goes back on that. he tries so hard to commit to one path, but he truly is fluctuating and has no clue what to do

and wukong is just...certain of himself. he's certain of his wants and desires now after Constellations. He wants to maintain connections and put in the effort no matter what. and that..juxtaposition of them...is just so raw and hurtful in chapter 1 because we see that wukong notices that in Macaque because he knows him better than anyone.

And Macaque admits he's a little lost. he doesn't know what he wants. but he keeps walking. he wants to make his own choices. he wants to think for himself. he wants to see the truth for himself.

and as the days go by, as the weeks and months pass...as they grow and change, it's just sad. because it's not

the epilogue is not this "will they? won't they?" shadowpeach thing.

look at them as individuals. that's why i finally decided to change the perspective. because we needed to see macaque's thoughts. I've shown you wukong's; please give macaque that same level of attention.

when people write romance or relationships, they often misstep when it comes to the characters that are in the relationship. in order for that relationship to be believable and relatable and enjoyed by the audience, you have to develop the characters independently and together.

we cannot have shadowpeach until we know, with certainty, who macaque and wukong are.

[mercymaker]

two hours ago had an existential crisis moment in a bath

ten minutes ago it started raining like crazy, just absolutely pouring at 10pm so i ran outside and just enjoyed getting soaked in seconds. it was warm and made me feel alive so yaknow.. sometimes you truly gotta will yourself to enjoy the little things

[blessphemy]

once in a while when i'm in the murderbot fandom tag i see a shark fin of ship discourse and i'm like wrow... i guess there's shipping out there. so anyways.

[joonebugg]

No one to play warrior cats ultimate edition with😭😭😭

[averlym]

,,, little lemmings in line...

[chrisbangs]

hello... (and bye ig 👋)