#idk this isn't fully thought out
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soulmate au where benny and erica are soulmates and ethan and sarah are soulmates and rory doesn't have a soulmate. but benny is gay and erica is a lesbian and ethan and sarah realized they're better off as friends. so together they say screw the universe and then benny, rory, and ethan get together and erica and sarah get together.
#idk if i'll ever write this#it's heavily inspired by a fic i read from a different fandom#and several other fics from several fandoms that ive seen#i like soulmate aus#but aus where they have a path chosen for them but they decide against it and make their own happiness#those cant be beat#but like erica and benny thinking that the universe is playing a joke on them#and ethan and sarah realizing they're platonic soulmates instead of romantic#and rory feeling like the universe decided hes unworthy of love#but despite all that they get their happy endings bc they chose their own happiness#instead of the life that was decided for them#idk this isn't fully thought out#benny weir#sarah fox#erica jones#ethan morgan#rory keaner#mbav#my babysitter's a vampire#bethory#serica
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People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again
#My art#One Piece#Long post#Sir Crocodile#Nico Robin#Alternatively panel 5 would've been a close up of Crocodile's face from Robin's POV where he looks like he's giving her a death glare#Not intentionally he's just a big scary bastard with a Resting Murder Face and Robin is a small traumatized child#But I wanted to focus on the silliness of the moment so you get the goofy version instead#IDK man there's just something very funny to me about the idea of Robin just randomly info-dumping about a subject she's read about#And Crocodile being like ''?????????????????????? The fuck you talking about??''#Robin leaves the ship's kitchen and Crocodile just stares at the tomato like ''...It's a fruit? Forreal?''#(Meanwhile Robin is sweating bullets like ''I called his favorite vegetable a FRUIT right in his FACE he's going to KILL ME'')#Robin grew extra feet from the bottom of her feet to reach the counter and that actually isn't me trying to explain bad art away#In the original Papadile comic there was a panel of Robin doing the dishes with extra feet to reach the sink but I cut it out#(It was a stress relief comic I did not feel like drawing a complicated background in detail) (BUT YES I THOUGHT OF IT)#Nico Robin Age 11 is *more* than capable of cooking Crocodile just does not trust her with his food. At least not yet#She did start doing the dishes unprompted and continues to do so (mostly out of fear). Croc told her she didn't have to but allows it#IDK a lot of people seem to headcanon Crocodile as incapable of cooking and like. Surely Mr ''I don't trust people'' knows how to cook#Like he doesn't have to be a master chef or anything but and maybe he enjoys not HAVING to cook (pain in the ass with one hand + knife/hook#But surely he can cook decent enough. SURELY#Botanists don't @ me I know the ''tomato is a fruit'' thing isn't fully accurate this is just a silly little haha comic
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yknow sometimes the way trans women talk about testosterone and being on estrogen is indistinguishable from the way terfs try to convince afab people not to start hrt
this is not a criticism mind you, their experiences are their own and completely legitimate, it's just a matter of competing needs - they need a safe space to talk about their dysphoria and how testosterone makes them feel and i need to not hear about how i am destroying my body with hrt
ordinarily these things are pretty insular to transfem circles but since instagram has been feeding me transfem content i'm seeing it more and more and yet again the algorithm is fucking me
#ransomrambles#like a friend of mine in absolute genuineness told me how my skin was gonna stop being soft and my hair was gonna thin out#and she obviously wasn't trying to dissuade me from hrt .... but like ..... thanks for leading with that mate#with estrogen it's the - no downsides- people often say there aren't many downsides to taking e - save some erectile dysfunction#but when it's the other way it's - make sure you're really sure cause you're permanently ruining your body forever#like i get that - my skin feels so soft now - is an estrogen experience ..... but the reverse framing is not helping anyone here#that's just all you hear about testosterone hrt - a list of downsides you'll have to cope with#idk this isn't a fully constructed thought#like i said trans girls deserve the space to have that conversation#i just need to not be in that space cause it obviously hits me differently#but man the sheer volume of trans girls talking about the /damage/ t has done to them .... in dis tinguishable#the aside to this is also a lot of girls being like i realized i was a girl cause of xyzq#and the list is the same as the one my mother used to be like - see you must be a girl#so it's just tough#competing access needs are hard to manage#and that's why life is best on the curate your own experience webbed site
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The fact that people were so willing to completely dismiss what happened in After Pain and Harrow after they saw It's Not My Fault and Deep Cover paint Mu and Kotoko in a worse light really shows that some people don't have literary comprehension 馃槶
#it's almost as if nuance is a thing and that their pain isn't mutually exclusive from their actions lmao#the fact that some people actually thought Mu was lying about what she went through??? 馃槶 no tf she didn't the whole point#is that she is both a perpetrator and a victim and her inno verdict in t1 validated her thinking#which is why in t2 she doesn't shy away from not acting completely innocent because she fully believes she didn't do anything wrong#that's why I also didn't understand why people were so quick to dismiss Kotoko's vigilantism and say it was a complete lie#because Harrow shows us that it never really was a lie but rather something that became more and more distorted over time#as well as something Kotoko uses to validate herself because of her self hatred which again Harrow already hinted at lmao#it only got worse in Milgram but the whole point is that Kotoko's ideals which were born out of strong feelings against the evils#of the world became distorted and more selfish over time#idk people just like to reduce them to completely bad people and it annoys tf out of me#deep cover spoilers#milgram#mu kusunoki#kotoko yuzuriha#my posts
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here's how it goes:
everyone spends valentine's day in DEEP denial. tubbo isn't dead, he CAN'T be. when they die they come back, that's how it is, how it's ALWAYS been. the island is hell but at least fatalities don't stick, except in specific cases and all of them in the same white shells. of course philza jokes, he's thinking about tubbo, he can't stop. he's expecting tubbo to jump out at any moment, he's expecting to go to fobo and see tubbo hidden in the basement throwing darts at a picture of fit and pac looking at each other, he's expecting to go back to the dungeon and the body is gone (he hopes). tubbo's not dead. he can't die. none of them can, just the eggs.
(it never takes this long to come back; he knows something is wrong)
here's how it goes:
tubbo tells the kids "i'm on my last life." the eggs have always had lives. i don't think some of them have ever understood that the players have infinite chances, with their insistence on protecting their caretakers from deaths like their caretakers do for them, charging back into the eye worker war, refusing to back out of a dangerous dungeon before their parents do, wanting to protect. i don't know if they understand that to the players, death is like spit in the face: unpleasant, sure, but no big deal.
tubbo tells the kids "i'm on my last life" and of course they believe him. death is their constant companion, no more than two doors down. some eggs are used to it being a breath away.
here's how it goes:
tubbo is dead. the children mourn him. the players are scared. defiant. they always are. who among them has died? dan, missing; spreen, gone; maximus... well there was no body, no announcement, surely-
(how long did it take pierre to accept it? to realize it? to take down the missing person posters? not a day. not a day.)
juanaflippa died and there was a court case to save her. bobby died and the whole server journeyed to save him. when is the last time the players have taken death lying down?
here's how it goes:
tubbo dies, and he dies unloved (fit's arm is stretched out to save him). he dies without purpose (sunny is there, she's waiting, she knows he won't move). he dies and no one cares (chayanne refuses to leave, his godfather, he failed his-)
here's how it goes:
the valentine's party is so loud but too quiet. there's a name in the air, even when no one is saying it
"wow sure is good tubbo isn't here" phil says (he's said this before, he'll say it again, but isn't it strange how many times? perhaps even he doesn't believe it. perhaps he's trying to convince himself.)
here's how it goes:
a creature with too many faces comes. it tells them the truth they won't face. tubbo is gone.
quesadilla island says, "not for long"
#qsmp#shut up vic#block game brainrot#idk not fully satisfied w this but it's 1:30am where i live and i have work#just had some Thoughts. if you're curious this isn't intended to bash any character#i'm not putting character tags on it bc i don't feel like throwing it to those specific wolves idk how this is gonna go over#just it bothers me how people are acting. wanted to throw some cents in the ring#i feel like people are focusing hard onto their fav's lore and missing the other side so.#tbh was a half attempt at throwing what i got out of it which is hopefully close to both#or at the very least it's Equally Neither Option :)#anyway goodnight from me sweet dreams#if you hated this don't tell me lmao#((yes i tire of angst; woe hope be upon ye))#((me: i'm tired grandpa; the qsmp angsting further: THAT'S TOO DAMN BAD!'))#((maybe i LIKE hope qsmp maybe i LIKE defiance))#((catch me hoping all over the place smh))
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i've been diving a lot deeper into adhd symptoms and comorbidities and misdiagnoses and whenever i tell my boyfriend something i learned that sounds like me he responds with something like
#idk he knows me more than anyone bc i can't hide the parts i'm ashamed of from him#last night he was like. yeah EYE think you have adhd but i'm just some guy#idk i'm excited about this not because i want to be Quirky for internet reasons. yknow. but bc i've felt like an impostor of a human being#and i have no sense of self and i can't get myself to do basic tasks and the thought of doing something i don't want to do#genuinely makes me want to throw up/my brain shuts down/i can't think or talk or function to the point where i can't work.#so i can't support myself. so i feel terrible about myself. and i've been in and out of therapy for 20 years and have numerous diagnoses#that have never really felt like they fully encapsulate what's going on. and like. i've kinda just internalized that i'm not as good at#being a person as everyone else because i struggle so so much. like yeah i did well in school but i had to sacrifice literally everything#else to do that. idk how everyone else is managing to have a job and hobbies and friends#i get to pick like. one now. i used to be able to juggle everything to some degree although i felt like i was being careless in all areas#except school. i'm so scared of making mistakes or starting anything or talking to new people or trying new hobbies#because i know it won't interest me more than a couple weeks MAX and i'll feel listless and restless again#and i've come to understand this as part of who i am at my core. i'm just someone who can't commit and isn't reliable or a good friend#i just want so badly for that not to be the case because i want so badly to not be stuck like this#idk im going home to talk to my dad this weekend and just rest because i'm really really not doing well#which is why i'm scrambling to try to figure out what's going on with me because idk how much longer i feasibly can do this#and i might be moving back to the pnw bc therapists in pa don't work with medicaid#and no psychiatrists near me are taking new patients. and i can't work to get on private insurance. but therapists in or do work w medicaid#so idk. again if youre diagnosed w adhd and this sounds not like someone who is consuming social media brain rot content about adhd#but rather someone whose experiences you identify with. please let me know. please please#i am reaching out to professionals also but things move slowly and i'm trying to compile evidence so i don't sound like i'm making it up
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Post Seijoh Loss Bath
Yahaba taking a bath + Watari watching matches.
#haikyuu#hq anime#yahaba shigeru#shinji watari#watari shinji#haikyuu manga icons#i love them#Is this technically NSFW?#idk#he's kind off naked lol#his butt isn't fully out though#also ik water isn't blue but idk how to color it so#that's what you get#I put fishes on Watari's blanket cause he likes them#and I thought it was cute lol
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Hrmm... Revising my game and I feel like there's still sooo much writing left to do, for something that probably won't even amount to much, so.. I do want to narrow my focus more (especially given my health problems seeming to get worse/less energy the past few years), but I'm not sure how would be best to...
I currently have 5 characters as the Main ones with full planned questlines and such, with each character having 6 quests you can do for them. But I haven't really started the writing for the 5th main character. So then I was thinking, if I were going to write 6 full quests worth of content anyway... is it better to allocate that time on just doing a Complete 6 Quests for ONE single character, OR would it be better to do something like.. choose THREE side characters and do 2 quests for each of them? So that people have a wider variety to interact with and sort of sample around (of course with the idea that, once the first version of the game is released, IF people actually care about it enough to make it worth the effort, I would then add additional content to complete those 3 characters stories as well)
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SO... If you were playing an interactive fiction sort of game centered around talking to & doing quests for a cast of characters (like there's no larger plot, more it's just about interacting with people, every character kind of has a self contained story, the focus is just learning about them and the world and exploring the area) --- Which would you rather have?
(and of course it would be stated up front which characters have only partial questlines, so people don't expect them to have full quests like the others and then get disappointed, or etc. etc.)
Basically, is it better to just focus in specifically on having one fully complete questline? Or for there to be a few stories that are not complete yet, but have more initial options available?
#I guess I just feel weird about investing too much into characters if possibly nobody will like them. so the idea of being able to sample#around a wider variety opens up the option of like 'hey even if neither of these 4 are your favorite - you have 3 other options soon too!'#or whatever. BUT I also am very anti-the trend of releasing half finished games or shit like that where people preorder and then#the game sucks on actual release and isn't fully playable or good until 5 updates later#HOWEVER.. those are giant companies with hundreds of employees and millions in funding. I feel like it's different for someone#if they're just like ''hey I am getting zero money for this and doing it entirely on my own in my free time and before I do like 50+ hours#of work on top of the 100+ hours of work that I already did - I would like maybe to at least see some proof#people are interested in this - so I'm releasing the game with like a small amount of the originally intended content removed#that I still have planned out and hope to add later and the game is still entirely done and completely functional#except for just a few quests I might add later.. sorry'' etc. etc. ??? like I think that's different. but maybe some people dont see#it that way and would still be like 'grrr.. how dare there be unfinished options..>:V" idk#And the nature of the quests is such that it's not weird to have it be partial like.. again.there's no major plot. it's not like the quests#are leading up to some dramatic thing and having them half done would make it feel like a cliffhanger. It's meant to be very casual just#chilling and doing little tasks and such. And last thing to clarify I guess - by 'side character' I don't mean taking some unimportant bac#ground character and forcing them to have quests. I mean like.. originally the game had 8 full characters and I thought that was#too much so I cut it down to 5. So I still had everything planned for all the side characters too. Id' just be like.. re-giving them#quests and focuses that were already planned from the beginning but that I got rid of.. former main characters banished to the side lol..#ANYWAY... hrmm... hard to decide... It's just so niche I think. I feel more and more like I should just get it to a 'proof#of concept' state and get it out there to interest check rather than invest in it soooo much for nothing. Because I really do not have the#tastes other people do or interact with games or have interest in things in the same way. A lot of the stuff that I love (slow. character#focused things with basicaly no action or plot where its' just about getting to explore a world and learn about#people in a casual low stakes setting but ALSO not romance) I think people find very boring so... lol...#This year as I try to pick the project back up again after abandoning it for like 3 years I keep looking at stuff and going.. ough...#yeah... cut this maybe.. I should cut that too.. I should make them a side character.. remove this.. blah blah..#Though I did ADD a journal and inventory system and other things that like People Expect Games To Have so.. maybe#that will count for something.. hey..you can collect items.. it's not just 'talking to elves for 600 hours simulator'.. are you#entertained yet? lol.... When I was making my other tiny game for that pet website and I gave it to the play testers and someone was like#''it should have achievements so I feel I'm working towards something concrete'' I was literally so blindsided like..??... people WANT that#in games..? is the goal not simply to wander aimlessly &fixate on world/character lore& make your own silly pointless personal goals? I did#do them though because it IS fun to make up little achievement names and such but.. i fear i am out of touch so bad lol..
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Why can't we just love eachother and help eachother and cry for eachother when we hurt and laugh for eachother when we're happy. What happened to radical acceptance and beauty. Why are we self-separating using white suppremist ideas about identity. The idea someone needs some pure property to be worthy of adopting a community is point blank a white suprematist idea. Where is the understanding of mistake and pain.
We are so alone and isolated in this generation and we are playing directly into the interests of those in power by further self-separating. Focus on some important fucking shit.
#essentially#get class conscious#explore spirituality#and understand that a human being is an astounding phenomenon and every single one is amazing and terrifying#and is worth the effort of understanding#and accepting#ok yeah I had 6 shots at 3pm whatever#but fr the time someone cut me off bc I said I don't care about hehim lesbians#like in real life#crazy shit (they later apologized which was sick as fuck of them)#just the fact it spills out beyond the internet is horrible and the internet isn't great itself#bc it could otherwise be utilized as an extremley effective tool for praxis#were it not for infighting#like. i know a lot of white queers who avoid 'straight' seeming poc or jocks or whatever the fuck#idk I understand anxiety fully#but if u continue to stay within a social comfort zone#you will never see the beauty of expression possible within humanity#and placing more value on queer white friends than a straigh black friend..... not great. it's not great.#implicitly aligning with your anxiety or discomfort over how another person operates#not great#I've seen queer white ppl treat homeless ppl like SHIT bc ' my anxiety!!'#its fucked up#and it makes me understand why certain demographics see queerness as a rich white phenomoneon (it's not but it makes me understand how ppl#can accept such a ridiculous narrative)#bc white queers such as myself only experiment with radical thought and action within the comfort of whiteness#anything outside that it's the same old white attitude towards others#idk like. what do u do when u meet a homeless guy who is antivax and scizo#do u jsut write him off as a loony conservative? anti lgbt? what do u do?#I've seen this contradiction arise and I'm#just deeply ashamed of how my community is prone to reacting
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just read a review of the lego movie from 2014 and it is genuinely a horrible piece of literature and through perusing the comments underneath the review, I have gained an intense dislike of the reviewer. it's not even that I liked the lego movie and he didn't it's just that a lot of the stuff he says is factually incorrect, really stupid-sounding, or he doesn't provide any real reason, and in the comments, he reacts to even the friendliest and politest constructive criticism as if it's a personal attack on him.
#listen I DON'T CARE THAT YOU DIDN'T LIKE THE MOVIE#I mean I'm slightly saddened because I did like it#but he straight-up says it's fully actual physical stop-motion animation at the beginning (factually incorrect)#then later says you won't appreciate the movie unless you like lego a lot and know all about it#specifically saying 'if you can tell the Lego Wild West town from its pirate ship from its spaceman set' (direct quote)#like um idk bro... are you saying you can't???#also this does insinuate that there is one specific set for each of these#which is also factually incorrect but I'm not really mad about that#and then in the comments he kept trying to defend himself by saying stuff about how the movie has a 90%ish rating on rotten tomatoes#and therefore 10% of people didn't like the movie#which is actually. an insane oversimplification of statistics. that's like saying if there are 10 children with an average of 4.5 apples#per child and each child can have a maximum of 5 apples#then 9 of the children must have 5 apples and the other 1 must have none#the 90% in fact includes a large number of people who rated it at 3.5-4.5 stars which is means a lot of them really actually did like it#and just didn't think it was the best movie ever ever in existence or maybe they just had some small qualm with it#the final straw was that someone left a very nice very kindly written piece of constructive criticism asking if maybe the reviewer would#consider saying what about the humor he didn't like (or what kind of humor it was) next time so that the viewer would know whether they#would like it or not as well and I read this and thought 'surely he will respond courteously to at least this one' and he said.#basically 'it's not that the kind of humor didn't suit my tastes. it just wasn't funny'#WHAT THE FREAK#WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT#ALL THIS GOING ON AND ON ABOUT WRITING A NEGATIVE REVIEW BECAUSE IT'S YOUR ACTUAL OPINION AND NOT BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO BE CONTRARY#BUT I THINK YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT AN OPINION IS??????#it's MY opinion that it was funny#it's YOUR opinion that it wasn't#you don't get to arbitrarily say that the only reason you disliked the humor was because it was 'bad'#even ethics aren't this black and white#there was another thread where a commenter pointed out that the reviewer seemed to assume there was such a thing as a universal definition#of a good movie and he repeatedly refused to explain himself. like in an 'are you stupid. this isn't worth my time' way#but I won't get into that
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some game design thinky thoughts.
#it speaks#da gameplay complaints so weird to me. which i say as someone whose favorite combat was origins.#i mean 1 like i just enjoy a lot of different types of games. including crpg style tactical and including action#and inclulding me style arpg#but fr like people just keep saying over and over 'only three abilities???????????' like bro did u know in dai#that one of the warrior abilities was COMBAT ROLL.#a lot of things like that were previously abiliities and can in real time combat become different kinds of mechanics#and lemme say as someone who never invests in combat roll i spend a lot of time in dai fighting dragons by fruitlessly jumping in the hope#that THIS time i might be able to dodge the incoming attack i can clearly see coming (i can't)#idk like the point is obv if you don't like action-oriented combat whatever but complaining about design changes which actually serve#to make GOOD action-oriented combat is wild to me.#love that it's still rtwp my beloved. love giving commands to followers. love that it's built around synergies and that the wheel actually#tells you things like detonation combos and enemy resistances because i love taking advantage of stuff like that but find often in games#that information is overly obscured or a hassle to discover#and if i in real time action combat had 20 different abilities to choose from while still needing to dodge out of the way and pop off#an attack- that would be at worst overwhelming and distracting and at best feel like more than i need.#and at the same time! the skill tree looks great. best i've seen from da (and iterated from other franchises well imo) and still looks#plenty deep and customizable. way more than me's five little blocks or whatever#and wrt to party control yeah i'll miss it i like it a lot!#but again for this style of combat i literally don't think you need it and that's okay!#the game feeling better for what it is is okay!#even in dai like i have a lot of moments in that game where it's actually more a nuisance than anything else to fully switch control#to use an ability. e.g. i usually spec solas out with spirit magic and i almost always will fully enter the tactical cam just to#tell him to cast a barrier. or a revive. or dispel some demons before they spawn in#like i'm literally already just telling him to use abilities and then i switch back to me. and in that game there are def times where i hav#thought yeah this would actually be smoother if i could just tell him to use it +position it!#i spend the most time party switching in origins esp on higher difficulties but obv the game is most fine tuned for that#and you can play through the entire series as if it were an arpg if you want. that's what i did when i was a kid lmfao#well anyways. that's my two cents! i think it'll be really engaging! from what i've seen the game director isn't talking out of her ass!#vir dirthera
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Having brain worms. What if uhhhhhh SOS Mianite au
#this is a fully undeveloped idea but it is simmering#initial thoughts. mog is so champion of ianite. fwip is dianite's.#I'm not convinced of who mianite's is yet but i feel like sausage is desperately vying for the role and getting repeatedly rejected#oli ends up as a reluctant ianitee. he was originally a dianite follower but dianite found him annoying and was a dick so oli ditched him.#ianite finds him funny and decides to pick him up and now he's trying very hard not to mess it up bc she actually respects him#joel would claim not to need any stupid god until he sees how much fun fwip is having causing problems on purpose with dianite and gives in.#his wife joining up with dianite probably also doesn't desuade him in that department#jimmy isn't particularly keen on any of them. he's off doing his own thing#katherine feels very classic mianitee to me.#I've got mixed feelings on Pix. i kind of feel like he should be on his own thing (priest? wizard? something like that)#if not he's ianitee i think. but it takes him awhile to commit#joey's dianitee. eloise feels ianitee to me. shubble probably mianitee.#is that everyone? i think that's everyone#idk if this would be a scenario where the world/plot was more based on mianite or sos honestly#maybe a healthy mix.#do we keep the death/fate coin element? idk idk maybe not? but it doesn't feel like sos without some hardcore element#gotta sit on it#this is the first time in a long time I've just done like straight up stream of consciousness brainstorming in the tags of a post huh#feels very 2020#OWEN I FORGOT OWEN. UH. i feel like he might help balance out the mianite team. i can't put it into worlds but it feels right#he's the type of guy that you look at and immediately think dianite and you're wrong#but i could be tempted to switch him and joey. cause joey did have the whole prison thing in sos which is very mianite#even if he's generally the most dianitee guy i have ever fucking seen#i. i also forgot scott.#embarrassing. I've been watching him the longest and he's the only one on this list I've actually written into mianite crossovers before#uhhhh anyways he feels very true neutral to me. he's another one who i feel like maybe he should be off doing his own thing#if not probably mianite#this is such a mess lmao#i had to put the idea down somewhere before my head exploded sorry
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turns out that eating breakfast after taking the meds you should eat with food is a good idea
#i feel a lot better than i did yesterday#the weird jittery bit of the meds eased up quite a lot#im still not used to it but i think it's gonna help me a lot#i wasn't aware that this kind of. like... clarity? was normal??#i can actually focus on things now. i can sit totally still if i want to. my brain isn't impossibly loud.#idk!! i never thought id be able to get help for this and it's unreal that a tiny fucking pill just... makes my brain function better#we'll see how the next few weeks play out bc it might not be great for me over time and i might need to try out other meds#but idk. ritalin seems to be working decently well and im happy#wait holy fuck i just realized i might be able to actually clean my room now#i haven't been able to fully clean my room in YEARS#ive been able to clean sections of it or like. halfway tidy up most of it#but a full deep clean has been out of the picture for so long bc i can never focus hard enough or get enough motivation to continue#i might actually be able to now. fuck. this changes so much.#i know that probably doesn't seem like much but my room has gotten so out of hand and it causes me stress#i can't even let people INTO my room because its embarrassing and makes me feel horrible#maybe i can actually invite people over now
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fuck elon musk but the privating of likes on twitter is a really interesting exposure of the absolute panopticon culture going on there
there are droves of people freaking out that they can't check people's likes before following them anymore (something i have never done or thought to do??) because "what if i accidentally follow a predator?" the pedopanic is ramped to the MAX. if you want to have privacy you must have something shady to hide.
with the general culture of "oomfs you follow this Unperson u have 24hrs to unfollow or you will be unpersoned as well" idk why i'm surprised it's considered normal to pilfer through ppl's liked posts to justify harassing them. the lack of choice on users' part whether their likes are public or not (a feature tumblr has had for years) is shitty design but i can't help but be intrigued by the panic of purity-obsessed weirdos as a feature that gave them an illusion of control is taken away
sorry guys, life isn't that easy. shitty people will exist alongside the righteous and will often be indistinguishable. the idea that you can fully avoid them by stalking their shit is not a healthy thought process. make peace with privacy.
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I've been thinking abt new game+ friend quests and it's just me going ah yes and they have all these issues and talk abt these things and oh oops this is all accidental foreshadowing
#rat rambles#stars posting#new game+#its a fun mix of stuff that will make for tasty chou breakdown material in due time#and stuff that is fun to imagine chou responding to because its smth that the sifs would respond to Very differently#but yeah I can basically hear the evolution of chou's inner dialogue overtime as I play out these scenes in my mind#the shopkeepers friendquest is mostly abt her low key freaking out abt realizing chou sees her as a friend and admitting she has a rly hard#time being honest with people about basically anything abt herself along with some extra stuff abt her having never rly had any long term#friends due to her having been constantly traveling since she was a kid#so theres like. several layers of stuff for chou's timeloop tumbled brain to chew on there lol.#the kid is mostly abt them realizing they cant remember basically anything abt their home and family at this point and freaking out#the leader is her admitting hes always been kind of jealous of chou (mostly due to chou having very loving parents)#and Im going to be honest Im still working out the tracker's friendquest#probably going to have smth to do with her mom? maybe her admitting that she's always wanted to go traveling but has been feeling trapped#under obligation to stay by her mom's side and her feeling like a bad daughter for leaving even in these circumstances#or smth like that. idk Ive had a headache all day I dont have the brainpower to make shit up good rn#I just took a shower a few minutes ago and its cleared the brain fog enough for me to type out some of my thoughts#so yeah idk beams visions at you of chou slowly forgetting more and more abt things outside the loops and freaking out over it#chou vc I think the moments the loops truly broke me was when I forgot my parents faces and names#the sifs .|#the real secret abt chou is that they are the normie of the three they just got timeloop tumbled real hard#they do still have hashtag issues ofc just different ones than the other two#but their loops definitely did a lot of the heavy lifting in fucking them up so hard#repeatedly becoming a stranger to the people you love isn't fun and neither is not having tears for easy looping#they can technically loop using the light's curse but that requires being able to see the light and even then its usually a slow burn#process to get fully cursed not smth you can just quickly do if you get stuck#anyways I need to go to bed gn gamers#hopefully loop plush will be here tomorrow if they're not I'll cry rly hard and throw up
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They need to invent a weed that makes you stop thinking about killing yourself
#im not suicidal im just. idk. feeling like my life will never be what i want it to.#want to smoke my bowl rn not fully type out my thoughts on this part of my mental health on tumblr#not enjoying that this isn't going away#I dont particularly like feeling like life isn't worth the pain. not a super fun one.
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