#idk this feels like the kind of thought that goes nowhere. but oh well

[onetrackobsession]

Hey what’s the consensus on how Pokotho/Pokey—“hates every voice that’s not his own”—feels about the other Lords in Black. Because I never see this discussed and I’m thinking about it. CONSTANTLY.

Sure, he can control the world. But once he achieves that, do we not then consider whether or not he’d try to go after his siblings? Because if your one driving motivation is ‘everybody else stop talking FOREVER,’ I can’t see why he wouldn’t feel that way about the other cosmic beings he’s surrounded by. Like sure they’re siblings, but I’m not confident that would stop any of them from going after each other. After all, the Lords DESPISE Webby, their sister. Whose to say they don’t turn on each other when their motives clash?

[shwoyo]

co-pawrenting. — timeskip!keiji akaashi x fem!reader

; fluff, roommate au – wc: 3,351

warnings: kissing at the end lol, ooc akaashi? idk, he's kinda flirty

notes: kinda rushed ending, i wrote it half asleep pls spare me 😭 i love you akaashi ... also old layout bcuz this has been sitting in my drafts for a while

you couldn't resist yourself. the little one has been outside the café you were working at for one week; starving, cute, and it was a ragdoll. do people know how much these kinds of cats cost? luckily, as a cat lover, you always carried spare cat food in your bag, so you always fed her... then gave in and took her back to your shared apartment, not telling akaashi. 

you tried your best to hide her; you knew akaashi wouldn't approve... you think. pets were allowed in your apartment building, but you didn't know if akaashi approved of pets; that's why you decided to hide the cat you found on the streets in your room. 

you were successful in the next three days, akaashi coming home not knowing a clue that there was a third living being in the apartment. but in all honesty, you didn't know how long you could keep this up. the cat was getting bored just sitting and playing alone in your room, nowhere else to go besides the bathroom attached to your room, but the cat rarely ever goes there.

—

it was friday in the afternoon, and you were on your way home, grabbing snacks on the way to feast on on your daily friday movie night with akaashi. walking from your work to the apartment was fun; it was a 15 minute walk, which you were grateful for because it meant you didn't have to buy a car for now. and because there were a lot of cats on the streets, kind of delaying you, which makes it more of an 18 minute walk.

reaching your apartment building, you went on the elevator, pressing the button of your floor, then the close button so you wouldn't have to go through the elevator with someone else. once you reached your floor, you went to the door and entered the apartment. 

you were shocked, surprised, and kind of scared. the cat was on the kitchen counter, with akaashi looking at it as if inspecting it. you looked at the door to your room; it was left open. you always left your door closed; did you forget to close it this time?

"akaashi–" you started, he gave you a questioning look before speaking, "what's this? how'd this enter our apartment?" "uhm, well– it's a cat! you see," you nervously let out a laugh, moving towards where he was. "and... how did it enter our apartment?" akaashi added, "well, uhm... i let it in! you know, it wanted to stay over for a little while," you joked, still feeling nervous. "hm," he voiced with a questioning tone, looking at you once more but with a raised eyebrow.

you folded when he gave you that look, so you explained, "okay okay! i saw it outside the building i was working at. she was there for one week! i fed her every day, and she was growing on me. so i gave in and took her home. "c'mon keiji, she's so adorable, how could i just leave her out there astray?" you defended yourself. 

akaashi seemed to think for a second, sighing before speaking, "you know, you could've just told me. you didn't have to hide her." "well, i just thought you wouldn't approve of her." "in that case, you thought wrong. please don't hide anything like this ever again," akaashi said. "i won't, i promise. i'm sorry for hiding her from you" you replied, "it's fine," he stated.

"well... what's her name then?" "oh well, i haven't chosen yet. i'm stuck between snow or vanilla." you replied, "really? those are choices you're going with?" akaashi judged, "hey! don't judge me; i'm not that creative," you rebutted.

"well what about you? do you have an idea?" you questioned, "hmm, how about pearl? i think it's kind of fitting." he suggested.  you let out a gasp and spoke, "that's perfect! it does fit her." akaashi let out a laugh at your reaction. "i guess pearl's your name," he said as he looked at the cat, which is still seated at the counter.

-

y/n 🐈: keiji! are you still at work?

akaashi 😸: yes, why?

y/n 🐈: i'm sorry to bother, but could you pls buy cat food otw home? i thought i still had more, turns out i already fed her the last batch earlier. T_T

akaashi 😸: don't worry you're not a bother. what exact cat food do you buy?

y/n 🐈: oh hold on a second

y/n 🐈: *sent a picture* 

akaashi 😸: okay. i'll stop by the pet store later

y/n 🐈: thank you so much keiji! ⸜(⸝⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝⸝)⸝

akaashi closed his phone and laughed; the way you texted was cute, he thought.

once his work was done, he went to the pet store that was near his route on his way home.

–

"i'm back," akaashi announced. "oh keiji! did you buy the cat food?" you asked, walking towards him. "yep," he replied as he gave you the plastic bag containing the cat food. "i also bought us some food; its your favorite" he added, "ooh! thanks keiji, you didn't have to tho!" you said. 

you both walked in the kitchen and placed the food he bought on the table. "how much did you pay for mine? i'll pay you," you asked. "no its okay, its on me," he replied, "huh? really?" you tilted your head a bit, looking up at him in shock. "yeah" he said, smiling, "thank you soso much keiji! i owe you one!" you replied

you went on and prepared the table, getting plates and utensils, while akaashi unwrapped the food he bought. "oh wait hold on, i'll feed pearl first," you said as you placed the utensils on the plates and grabbed the cat food.

you didn't have the time to buy an actual food bowl for pearl, so you used a plastic container instead. pouring the right amount of cat food on the container, you placed it down and grabbed a cup of water, pouring it on another plastic container; serving as the water bowl for the cat.

"pearl! come here, your food is ready!" you called out softly. pearl came out of your room and went down towards you. since akaashi knows about the cat now, you made it a habit to leave the door open so pearl can come in and out as she likes.

as she started to eat, you stood up and went back to the table, where akaashi was sitting down, scrolling through his phone with his plate ready. "whatcha reading? you haven't taken a bite of your food yet," you said. "nothing, 'm just waiting for you so we can eat together," he replied.

your heart skipped a beat; he was waiting for you just to... eat together? you dismissed the thought before you could read too much into it. maybe he was just being nice, that's all. 

you sat down and prepared your plate with the food akaashi bought. "ahm—okay i'm done. let's eat now?" you announced, "mhm" he replied, putting his phone down.

"how was work?" you started, trying to stir up a conversation while you guys eat. "hmm, it was okay. although, one of my co-workers deleted an important file, good thing someone was techy enough and was able to recover it." he replied, "what about you? any new news?" he asked

 "well, nothing much is going on. i guess i'm just overthinking about pearl, my boss said i'd have to work 'til 7pm on wednesdays, since one of my coworkers retired," you answered. "ahh, hmm" akaashi thought for a moment.

"do you want me to take care of pearl? lucky enough, i only work 'til 1pm on wednesdays." he stated, "wait—really? i mean—are you okay with doing that? you don't have to if it's a burden," you said. "no, i assure you it's fine. pearl lives here now with us; i can be one of her... parent if you call it that. i'll take care of her whenever you can't—i guess it's um called... co-parenting?" he said.

"well, co-pawrenting in this situation," he joked while smiling. you giggled at his joke, despite it being quite cheesy. "i mean, if you put it that way... are you sure though?" you asked one last time, "mhm, im 100% sure. i'll text you whenever i have a problem, though," he said.

–

it was wednesday, and as previously stated, you had to work 'til 7pm today. you kept checking your phone from time to time; it was 4pm which means akaashi was probably home already; you were waiting for a text from him in case he had any problems. 

"hey y/n, could you help me for a moment? i'm not sure what i'm supposed to do," your new co-worker asked. "yeah sure, what's up?" "am i supposed to put the ice in a separate glass or put the ice in the milk?" he questioned, "oh, you need to put it in the separate glass, then put the milk and syrup," you explained. "ah, okay. thanks!" he smiled. "you're welcome," you said, walking back to the cashier.

you were scrolling through your phone as you waited for a customer to arrive, then akaashi texted.

akaashi 😸: hello, y/n. sorry to bother, what time did you feed pearl today?

y/n 🐈: hi keiji! no worries, i fed her earlier at 12! you don't need to feed her right now 😸

akaashi 😸: ah well... pearl keeps on meowing and pawing her container, does this mean she's hungry?

y/n 🐈: OHH wellll, you should just give her at least 2 treats for now! 

akaashi 😸: alright.

akaashi 😸: pearl came and sat on my lap.

akaashi 😸: sent a photo.

y/n 🐈: AWWW MY BABY IS SO CUTE

akaashi 😸: which one

akaashi 😸: oh uhm don't mind that. i sent it wrong. 

akaashi 😸: sorry

akaashi 😸: 😊

y/n 🐈: HEHAHAUAHAH IT'S FINE!

y/n 🐈: i think both of you are cute 🫶

you pressed send on the last text and immediately closed your phone; it was such a 'risky' text, you thought. but, you overthought what akaashi meant when he sent 'which one'.

you heard your phone ding once again. slowly opening your phone, you saw akaashi's text.

akaashi 😸: hahaha, thank you ☺️💗

you sighed, closing your phone again. your heart was pounding so fast.

-

honestly, when you first met akaashi, you thought nothing of it. he was your nice roommate, your new friend. you haven't thought about initiating any kind of... commitment with him. well, until now.

ever since you got pearl, you both got even closer. ever since he proposed being pearl's 'co-parent', it's like you saw him in a new light. he was so good at taking care of pearl, despite her just being a cat. he treated her as if she were his child; of course you did too. you don't think any other guy in your life would take care of your cat like its his child. 

but not only did he take good care of your cat, but also you. he was so caring. you're too tired to wash the dishes? its okay; akaashi will handle that for you. you got sick suddenly? you're in good hands; akaashi will take care of you. you're hungry? akaashi will order your favorite food for you; he'll even pay for it. 

he was so good to you... and your cat, and you fell for him at that.

of course, akaashi also had his thoughts. honestly speaking, he never does this for anyone else; he doesn't care this much about anyone else. but you were you.

you took care of him too. you were there for him when he needed someone; when he was having trouble with editing the manga they were working on; when he was sick.

he was so grateful.

you both were so happy you had each other.

-

it was thursday, which meant you went home earlier than akaashi. you were watching tv with pearl curled up on your lap. you contemplated whether or not you should move; akaashi was gonna come home any minute now and it was your turn to cook food; it wasn't necessary, but you wanted to; akaashi mentioned that he had an important meeting today, and it was late. you were quite hungry too.

you moved pearl off your lap as gently as you could to not wake her up; unlucky you though, she woke up. you bid her a small sorry, and stood up, walking your way to the kitchen.

you checked all the cabinets and sighed. maybe you should've gone grocery shopping on your day off. the cabinets contained chips, some different ramen noodles, candies, and other unhealthy food. you opted for the buldak noodles; akaashi was the one who bought them, so you guessed that it would work. 

cooking up the noodles, you thought of adding something to make it... less boring. you brought out sliced cheese, seaweed, and milk to lessen the spice. it was 3 extra ingredients, but it was enough to make it more enjoyable.

time passed by quickly, you were done cooking, and the table was prepared. you checked your phone and saw that akaashi sent a text, it was sent at 5:38, but you checked the clock and saw that it was already 5:55.

akaashi 😸: hi y/n :)

akaashi 😸: sorry to disturb, but if you're wondering why i'm not home yet, the meeting went a little longer. i'll be home at 6 🩷

y/n 🐈: slrr! i was cooking up some noodles for uss, i'll just wait for you!

akaashi 😸: really? thank you. but you should eat now, you don't have to wait for me.

y/n 🐈: nooo i insist! i'll wait for you and that's final, okee?

akaashi 😸: hahaha 😆 okay fine. i'm near the building, i'll run for you.

y/n 🐈: hey noo, u might trip! 

akaashi 😸: i'll be fine. past vb player, remember?

y/n 🐈: mmm okayy okayy

you smiled, closing your phone. you put the lid on the noodles so they won't get cold as you wait for akaashi.

not that true to his words; akaashi got home at 5:59, just a minute earlier. you were now at the kitchen eating with him.

"so, how was the meeting?" you started, "good, apparently we'll have a new big project after we finish our current one." "ooh, sounds like you'll be busy." "hm yea," akaashi says. he thinks for a second, "but i'll still be able to help you take care of pearl, i promise you." 

you turned to look at him, "huh? oh! but you don't have to, you know, pearl will be alright; i'm still here." "yeah but, i won't be a good father to her if i'll leave her all to you just because i'm busy, right?" akaashi stated.

"oh—mm, yeah—but," you thought for a second, 'won't be a good father to her?! what'd that mean? "hm?" akaashi hummed as you stopped talking. "ahm—okay, but—uh—father? w-what did you mean by that?" you asked. "ah, well, we are kind of co-parenting her, aren't we? she's our child; i have to take responsibility," he stated. 

child... our child ?! our child?  you widened your eyes; you thought you were hearing this wrong. "ah, oh—yeah, okay" you replied, responding nothing else to avoid saying anything stupid. akaashi smiled at your widened eyes; he thought your reaction was cute.

in all honesty—he said that on purpose. just to see your reaction. he always thinks your reactions are cute. he makes a mental note to try and 'flirt' more. 

–

ever since that day—akaashi became more bold, unconsciously—you think—flirting with you. but you didn't know he did it on purpose, because, as stated, he wanted to see your reactions.

how would you know, though? he flirts nonchalantly—but with a smile. he randomly mentions how pretty you are, how beautiful your hair looks, and how he's glad to be... pearl's dad.

now you were confused; where was this going? he may just be playing with you. maybe this was just temporary.

your brain was eating you up; you were overthinking this so bad for no reason.

–

"keiji, do you want food?" you asked, looking at him. it was Friday at 9PM, and you guys were watching a movie. "sure," akaashi replied. "i'll get some chips; will that be okay? sorry, i don't wanna make food right now," you stated. "it's alright, pretty,"  he replied. "okay, babe"

this was basically your everyday now; you guys flirt. it was... normal for you guys now, for some reason. 

you stood up and went to the kitchen, grabbing random chips that weren't eaten yet and water to avoid dehydration.

walking back to the couch where akaashi was seated, placing the foodstuffs you obtained on the table, you sat down next to him very closely; your legs were touching, but akaashi paid no mind to it like it was normal. 

focusing your gaze on the movie, you relaxed, feeling akaashi's warmth as he was very close to you. as if you guys weren't close enough, he draped his arms around your shoulders. you tensed up and quickly turned your head, looking at him, and he just smiled. slowly looking back at the tv, you tried to relax as you did seconds ago. 

this man was gonna kill you, you thought.

grabbing the chips you brought, he spoke, "do you wanna go to the beach tomorrow?" "random, but sure, it'd be nice to swim," you replied. akaashi nodded in acknowledgment.

–

true to his words this time, akaashi brought you to the beach. it was a fun day; you helped a kid find his lost toy in the water, built sand castles, drew on the sand, commenced a water fight with akaashi, and played some beach volleyball with random people.

it was the rest you both needed; you were so grateful that akaashi thought about this; and he was grateful that you had fun.

the sun was setting, and you and akaashi were drying off, sitting down on the sand with towels draped around your shoulders. the sky's hues were so beautiful to look at, so you grabbed your phone from your bag to take a picture.

akaashi looked at you the whole time you were taking photos; the sunset illuminated your beauty; you were so, so pretty. it was the right moment; he should do it now, akaashi thought.

"hey, y/n?" he called out. you hummed in reply, putting your phone back in your bag. he cleared his throat and looked at you lovingly.

"i hope i won't shock you with this. uhm—please don't say anything yet." he started. you looked at him confused at first, but nodded as to tell him to continue. "i love you," he stated, "ever since the second week of us being roommates, when you took care of me because i got sick, i started falling for you. i tried to ignore it, thinking that maybe it'll go away, but my feelings never faded; it just kept growing." 

you were shocked at his confession. you tried to remember the moment he mentioned; it had been 6 months since then. now you were more shocked.

your feelings were more recent; it's been 4 weeks since you started seeing akaashi in a new light. it wouldn't be fair to him, you thought.

"thank you, keiji. i'll be honest with you; i love you too. but the thing is, it's only been like what, 4 weeks since i knew i did? i don't think it would be fair to you." you said. akaashi chuckled, "it's okay, y/n, we can take this slow, you know?" he said.

you smiled, akaashi was truly the guy—the guy you were willing to live with forever, the guy that will be pearl's 'parent.'

"can i?" akaashi asked, holding your face softly. knowing what he meant, you nod in approval. then he kissed you tenderly. 

the kiss lasted longer than you expected, 7 seconds max. you pulled back and looked at him; you both laughed.

it was like a scene from a movie; the sun was setting, the wind was sweeping your hair, and you guys were laughing.

akaashi was right when he thought it was the perfect time to confess, and you both couldn't be more happier.

©shwoyo, all rights reserved.

[txttletale]

(Other than the really weird bit about "Male presenting Doctor") what were your thoughts about the specials?

pretty mixed bag, pretty messy, but good overall. i think they were very obviously a nostalgia trip for people around my age lol and it worked! i loved seeing tennant and tate back onscreen together, their chemistry hasn't aged a bit, and honestly just watching doctor who that wasn't written by chris chibnall was a breath of fresh air. they weren't boring, like seasons 11 and 12 were, and they didn't go too far off the other end into nonsense like flux did. characters want things again! the show can let itself just be silly! i was literally cheering out loud when donna and the doctor were just saying random scifi gobbledegook at each other for like a solid several minutes during the star beast.

the structure of the specials kind of baffles me. i love wild blue yonder--i think it's definitively the best of the specials as a standalone, it's absolutely fantastic, creepy and atmospheric and bringing things around to RTD's strength, which is well-written characters interacting with each other and letting good actors just act. but at the same time i dont understand why it exists? it feels like...idk. imagine if you watched the star wars original trilogy but instead of the empire strikes back the middle film was just a feature length film about luke and han surviving on an ice planet with no reference to anything that happens in the last film except the two characters' relationship. and then the next film was still return of the jedi, unchanged. it felt like that

i liked all the weird campy silliness of the star beast and the giggle, and they were both very fun! neil patrick harris gave a fantastic performance, there are a lot of very memorable sequences from the giggle, but it's very very all over the place. so many threads get kind of picked up and go nowhere. the toymaker's haunted house dimension goes nowhere. RTD's eyerolling social media commetnary goes nowhere (thank god tbh but yknow im illustrating something here). even the toymaker kind of goes nowhere, after ncuti gatwa shows up he's bascially an afterthought who loses by dropping a ball. obvious parallels to david tennant's first episode with that ball scene could be made, but just... aren't. it feels like load-bearing sectikons of the plot and themes were cut out to make room for a backdoor pilot for the stupid fucking UNIT spinoff

oh and it goes without saying i fucking hate all the UNIT wank in the star beast and the giggle. i hope space nine eleven 2 happens to their stupid fucking avengers tower i cannot stand kate stewart who is constantly a murderous bonehead (in the giggle alone she gets two pepole killed by not listening to the doctor and assuming that this teleporting godlike entity could be restrainted by Two Guys) who is both in and out of universe just a boring nepo baby with no merit of her own

um. i still dont know what happened with the regeneration. i think the implication is that when david tennant dies hell time travel back to become ncuti gatwa inside himself--at least the rehab dialogue seems to make that implication. but it's not really explained or explored? baffling. i do think that fourteen getting to settle down and live a peaceful life with his friends is cute.

oh yeah and the ask said other than that but goddd there was some good stuff in the star beast and honestly with the state of the UK media i will take any perspective on trans people that includes baseline human erespect but some of those lines made me cringe so bad. anyway overall i am cautiously optimistic for the future of the show--oh ncuti was fucking great did i mention that i instantly bnought him as the doctor he owned the scene, the moment he was there it was clear he was the protagonist, and i liked the church on ruby road well enough too--i am cautiously optimistic but i worry that a big UNIT-shaped tumor will devour huge chunks of it and it'll be annoying. also russel t davies is like 60 and i just dont want to hear what he has to say about twitter so im not looking forward to dot and bubble

[sn0wp1anets]

observations about joel (mostly speech stuff) and interactions with others bc ive been hyperfixated since the beginning of time (also theres alot of bs commentary im sorry)

general stuff:

very very british like extremely british

'bloody' and 'blooming' ALOT - when he's annoyed or shocked or offended (im gonna call this his pseudo swearing for the rest of this for convenience)

instead of very he says 'well' sometimes (e.g. "this bloody pico park music is well annoying) and "absolutely"

instead of really he says 'proper' sometimes so "stress is proper northern" etc

instead of 'i haven't' he says "i've not"

he gives an explanation for basically everything he does and instead of because he says 'as' alot

'to be honest' "i bloody hate woodwork to be honest" (sometimes he says 'to be honest with you' too)

'innit' occasionally "it's like waterslide innit"

'like so'

'by the look of it'

he gets irritated really easily - "for goodness sake" and he'll start cutting himself off alot "this bloody-" and also his voice gets much more high pitched and his pseudo swearing gets way more frequent. also 'blooming heck'

(and also this isn't super relevant but when he gets mad all his friends start commenting on it and its the funniest thing- in the overcooked stream as soon as he starts getting annoyed everyones like 'oh here he is')

i didn't know if i should put this in a specific section but he says 'babe' alot - not just to lizzie but to jimmy like ALOT and also in general - i'll talk about this a bit more later tho !

pauses alot: in between words/phrases, and also before he answers questions (this is not as often but also if he wants someone to stop him- he was playing scrabble and was basically asking if someone could spell out vagina so he was slowly going 'and a g....and an i...and a n...' etcetc idk this isnt relevant i just thought it was worth mentioning)

he's kinda an oversharer 😭 ? (this is lh hes 31 im sure he shares what he thinks is appropriate) but at any given moment he starts giving details about his life- a kinda memorable example of this is in mcc26(?) when w*lbur made fun of his accent so he started telling a story about his grandfather and giving alot of details about him after he said he couldnt talk too much about it AND grian begged him to stop

repeats things (especially when he's annoyed) : "game's a bloody joke. game's a bloody joke"

he basically never says 'oh my god' its always 'oh my gosh' or 'oh gosh' sometimes its 'oh jesus'

his voice is generally higher pitched and more expressive in videos than in streams but this is more of a general cc thing than a specific joel thing

very confident in his builds (AS HE SHOULD BE !!!) and he'll share his thoughts alot : "i think it's come together really well" "lovely" "i'm really happy with it/with how it's turned out" etcetc

when he narrates he uses a mixture of 'I' and 'We'. what i've noticed is he uses I for his thoughts ("i feel like" "i think") and we for everything else ("we need" "we're quite high in the sky" etc)

'genuinely'

'what (are) you on about'

'what the heck'

he will say very random (kind of odd) things just out of nowhere as if its normal and he'll only realize it's weird when someone questions it? e.g. the mumbo trauma dumping bit in SL, or in one of jimmy's streams he said 'until i get back to the hotel if yk what i mean' and jimmys like 'i dont' and joel just goes 'idk either'

accent stuff:

it's really recognizable idk what to say

very northern: hes from yorkshire - his accent used to be stronger in his old videos but you can definitely still hear it (like its still super different from grian or like mumbo idk)

his 'th' sounds come out as 'f' (idk if this is an accent thing or a joel thing but he's talked about it and said his family members have it too)

again not sure if this is an accent or joel thing but when he says any word with 'con' he says it kinda differently- it's hard to describe but for example when most people say convention the 'on' sound is more like a 'un' sound? whereas with joel its very much an 'o' sound like in 'box' or 'coffee' (genuinely have no idea how else to explain it but in phonetic symbols- joel essentially never says /ʌ/ it's almost always /ɒ/ when its a 'con' word)

jimmy-

NICKNAMES !!! 'jim' is used alot - more than anyone else and one of the only people who calls him this. hes used 'mr neutron' too (idk how many times'

(he also doesnt actually say tim/timmy often and when he does its exclusively when grian is present)

typical british male friendship nicknames: 'lad' 'big man'

when he joins jimmy's stream he always says hi in a very dramatic way?? usually with a pretty deep voice (idk this is just something i noticed)

he calls him a loser alot?

(this might be more of a bad boys point) but joel is generally not that mean to jimmy? definitely he's meaner than he was a few years ago but that makes sense because they weren't as close but. he'll call him a loser and stupid/idiot sometimes but his main 'bullying jimmy' momentsare usually always when he's with someone else (usually grian, sometimes fwhip)

'what are you doing jimmy' or sometimes 'what are you doing with your life'

lizzie:

'babe' like all the time. once lizzie mentioned that they don't even really use each other's names alot because they just say 'babe' all the time

oli:

ok so joel really doesn't use that much like modern internet language but oli does and then joel will pick up on it (its cute but also horrifying sometimes)- he kept saying 'dogs' in reference to feet after oli said it

they flirt alot but differently to how he does with jimmy (hes more passive whereas with jimmy he initiates it more idk how else to describe it)

he calls him 'man' sometimes

he's also really giggly around oli theyre adorable

(tbh theres so much more to say about oli and lizzie but idk if i have the energy and time for like 10+ years of interactions rn - and honestly alot more for everyone else too but like.)

grian:

in general joel picks up on people's energy etc and mimics it alot but it happens so much with grian specifically - this sounds very weird but the more time he spends with grian in one go the more he starts to act like grian (especially with interactions with jimmy)

[blommp717]

hi, thx for being open to everyone! (can i be 🍓 anon? for follow up questions )

first of all i'm sorry this is so long, i've just had some questions about nd for months now and there was no one i felt i could ask until you showed up. i hope it's ok to direct my doubts to you? ( i can break it into smaller, separate questions if you prefer)

i've read all your posts so far and so i've concluded that the person is because i (awareness) know myself to be the person, correct? then how do i know to be something different? i honestly don't know how to do that 😓

i've been studying nondualism for a year now and it's been said that awareness is beyond the mind, so to reach it (and i assume then be able to be something different - since as the person you can't really change anything - ) you need to go beyond the mind. i've been trying to reach beyond the mind recently and what i've gathered so far is that there is a sense of being / existing that is kind of beyond the mind, at least i think it feels that way. you mentioned it to be like an empty presence in a previous post and it felt relatable to what i'm trying to describe.

but idk what to do beyond this… i know that to be aware of something is not the same as affirming it since we've all done that in loa and it went nowhere. i think my question is how to do this without the mind? (since the mind can't reach it) i've also concluded that the mind is intrinsically connected to whatever awareness is conscious of being, for example my mind: I've accepted that i'm awareness and the person / life is a creation i'm experiencing and it's not truly what i am, but my mind can't really express itself and know things that haven't been experienced by this person. i can imagine scenarios and being someone different ofc but at the end of the day my mind always goes back to it's default old me. it only knows this personality and the memories from this person's life, and also ofc it's desires, fears etc.

im mentioning the mind because i kind of feel like it's the only tool i have. i learn about this and try to understand it with my mind, idk how to "be" anything else or to "know" myself to be something else without it.

sorry i hope this makes sense, welp i really hope i'm not annoying you

Hello!!!! Firstly, welcome ☀️🪷🫶 “🍓 Anon” (I quite like the idea of the naming thing you have going on, it’ll really help in future questions).

Alright so let’s do this. I really do appreciate that your able to ask this question I know how it can feel when it’s like, whoooo dooo I askkkk??? So good on you, and no your not annoying me, I do this because I love helping you guys and want this to be as easy as possible so if that means ask 100 questions then oh well 🤭🤭. (I do urge you to not just ask but also do)

So yes, inherently everything is broken down to “ “ or awareness, now where I think the disconnect comes is when (and I’ve done this myself allot in the past) you guys try to seperate awareness from the illusion as if it’s two seperate things, awarness is not an entity or person or magical being, it’s all there is. Awarness is the best word I can use to describe what “it” really is, so my apologies.

You asked “how do I know to be something different” well, let’s break it down. Perceiving and being has no attachment to knowing. If I said “ strawberry” you wouldn’t think “I have a knowing about a strawberry” but you’d just think about the strawberry, or better yet, perceive/be aware of a strawberry. And that’s it. The appearance of what apparently is (this world) is no different from what you are, it’s all the same exact thing. When I say you are awarness, yes, but so I everything else, everything “relies” on it(you) to exist. The realization of a thought or an idea or event, is the experience, is it being “real”. Without awarness there is absolutely nothing to experience.

Now I’m gonna tell you something really crazy……

Your already here, please stop thinking that “awarness” needs to be maintained or something, as if it’s some source of power that your not already. The idea of a journey of needing to search and find is the reason it exists. Realizing “I have to be aware” makes no sense really, if this god is all there is, what’s there to find? Everything that appears is what it (you) appears as. It’s really just you perceiving yourself as something different.

I will never tell you guys not to make it easier for yourself, affirming, visualizing, etc are just tools to help you refocus this limitless, everythingness to something specific to instantly appear as that thing, therefore the experience. You said you keep returning to “me” at the end of the day. But do you also realize that this persona of who the person is, is made up. Made up through effortlessly igniting stories that have shown to you as the experience. It’s not that there’s only this persona, that there’s only who you know right now, this is just a selected thought. Infinite, limitless, meaning anything. You state/claim it, and you ARE that instantly, not in the future, right now because there is only now. The mind in and of itself is also just like everything else, there, but and illusion. The mind doesn’t think thoughts, no one really makes thoughts happen except the realization of the thoughts themselves. A thought is also just “ “, the “3D” is also just “ “ nothing can escape because it is “ “. The clay can take 100 different forms but it’ll always just be clay, whatever I name it like “pot” “plate” “vase” is meaningless. It’ll always be clay. Everything will always be “ “ regardless of what forms it(you) take up. I would drop the “constraints” of the world because it’s just you. You think you’re never gonna get it? Guess what, there’s nothing to get, you just actively experienced “I’m never gonna get it”. Effortlessly. It’s like a bundle package. Everything that entails the idea or concept is what the experience is. So someone who thinks constantly about not seeing “movement” is going to experience everything that entails that. You make it true in less than an instant.

I really hope that made a little bit of sense because wooooo I’ve been really tired recently 😝😝🤭🤭 if you need more clarity, you can always ask more questions! 🪷😝🫶☀️🍓🍓🍓

[caspersickfanfics]

I have many many Cyno thoughts living rent free in my head sooooo i was wondering

thoughts on Cyno and seasickness?? Cuz listen, hear me out, if the four aggravate gang had to travel to say inazuma for whatever I feel like Tighnari would be unaffected- idk in my mind his large ears mean he’s got decent inner ear canals? Idk I also just think for this situation it makes sense that he’d be un affected. But maaaybe as the trip goes on kaveh has moments were he’s not feeling great, and then maybe at some point alhaithem feels a little off too. Tighnari notices and is able to help But Cyno, Cyno is stubborn. The whole time Tighnari is checking in on him too because “you’ve never been on the open ocean before, it’s completely normal to feel a little un-easy” but Cynos like nah I’m fine. Because it would be embarrassing to get seasick he thinks. But I just love the idea of nari helping the others as they pass through a storm and Cyno is like I’m fine I’m fine I’m fine when he hasn’t been for like the whole trip. Like he feels terrible but he’s coping and “kaveh and alhaithem need it more”

but then like, the storm gets bad and they have to be under deck. Kaveh and alhaithem are okay ish by now, they are sleeping through the worst of it. But Cyno, poor stupid Cyno, now stuck bellow deck, during a storm, and it’s too late to take the meds he should have just accepted earlier. Thankfully nari is there to help him through it, but he does NOT have a good time. idk I’m rambling a lot but I just really like the idea of when a sickie is trying to make space for other sickies when really they should also be asking for help. And Cyno just, he’s from the desert!! He’s never been on a boat in his damn life you can’t tell me otherwise 🤣

YES wait I love this so much!! I'm actually not big on motion sickness normally, but the whole Sumeru crew being here is perfect, and Tighnari gets sick in the desert so Cyno can get sick at sea *nods aggressively* I'll make an exception just this once! Also this really checks out because I imagine that Cyno wouldn't like the sensation of being trapped on a boat. There's nowhere to go if something goes wrong. He must know how to swim - that feels like basic training for the matra imo - but it's all so disorienting, he wouldn't even know which direction to go, or if the distance is even swimmable. Having 3 of the people he cares about most only raises the stakes! And in my experience, stress and motion sickness go hand-in-hand.

I also think... Like you said, at some point, Alhaitham and Kaveh sleep through their illness, but Cyno is just awake the whole time. Even maybe across multiple days, where he just can't sleep because every time he lies down he feels sicker. He gets away with it because he and Nari establish shifts for watching over Kaveh and Alhaitham, and when it's his turn to sleep, Cyno will just stand around or sit on the bed. Feeling like absolute garbage. Like a dumbass. But lack of sleep is also not good for nausea.

Oh, when Tighnari finds out Cyno's actually not doing well he's so exasperated. Tells him exactly how stupid he's been. But he's also really touched by his kindness, putting the other two before himself even when he's so miserable. Cyno is suffering the entire time until they reach land, and Nari is torn between "this is what you get for being stupid" and "I love you so much please let me help you feel better." He Can and Will feel both at the same time.

Also just had a thought about the anxiety Cyno's gonna have leading up to the trip home??? He starts getting stomach aches a whole day before they're leaving just from the stress. Tells Tighnari he thinks he caught a bug, and Nari checks him out but eventually realizes what's going on. Feels genuinely bad and tries to reassure Cyno it will be better this time because there's medicine he can take in advance to help with the nausea, and they can bring some sedatives so that he can sleep through it if it persists. Cyno pretends like he's fine with that but is clearly still really tense, doesn't sleep much once again because he's so anxious. Maybe he still gets sick at the beginning of the trip back - the combination of the nerves, lack of sleep, and the boat is too much for the meds, even. But Nari calms him down enough for him to take some sleeping pills or something, and then he's blissfully out for the rest of the trip.

additional seasickness hc rambling here!

aaaand more here!

[elytrafemme]

OKAY SO it was where do we go now/wa hala2 la wayn and its this lebanese movie i got assigned 2 watch for cinematography class for the chapter on international cinema and it made me very happy hehe however. i have Thoughts. first off positive ones do you know how nice it was to hear just Genuine Lebanese Arabic in a movie it was SO nice. thats how i talk!! i use those turns of phrases!!! the old ladies remind me of my grandmas!!! the humour is also on Point like it feels very Classic Lebanese humour yk? and theres a great balance between humour and the more serious parts in a way that feels very true to the culture itself? if that makes sense?

less positive points uhhh why did they burst into song out of Nowhere like 3 times its not a musical it felt so. Why Is This Here. the last song where the women are baking is fun though. my biggest gripe with it though is. okay a bit of context so!!! the main plot in the movie is that its about a village thats half muslim half christian and they coexist peacefully and then they start hearing news of skirmishes between the two religions elsewhere and tensions start to rise and each side starts blaming the other for Every Little Thing that goes wrong and it just keeps escalating and escalating. and so the movie focuses on the women of the village devising various schemes to keep the men from fighting each other. its very much denouncing religion wars (which like. Yeah its a thing. my grandpa almost got shot once)

anyways SO all of that to say. the movie ends with the men waking up one morning and all the muslim men find that their wives have taken off their hijab and are praying to the virgin mary while all the christian women are veiled etc. and theyre basically saying well if you want to go fight them for being christian/muslim you'll have to fight me too and it makes them see the error of their ways etc. i. did nawt like this. i feel like theres better ways to get this message accross than basically saying "yeah religion is surface level and you can just violate everything you believe in just to make a point" like its not that they went i Look like them now its straight up they switched yk. like "this is who i am now". idk. left a bad taste in my mouth but maybe thats just me!!

the ending ending scene is the village going to bury a kid that was killed on his way back to the village and . like at the beginning of the movie we see the cemetery and its divided in2 tombstones with crosses and ones without but now the tombstones all look the same. and the title of the movie comes from the men carrying the coffin asking that yk. where do we go now. and i feel like that was a Much better way to get the point accross than the whole switching debacle sobs. anyways yeah!! those are my thoughts . this is so long i am SO sorry

YAY LONG REVIEW TIME!!! omg omg nice! i absolutely adore that, both the language part because that's so important but also the fact that it nails the culture down because? i feel like that's so hard to do with any culture, matching the humor and the specific phrases/customs with the generational trauma / more serious aspects of it. i really want to reconnect with more iraqi media for that reason because i really want to see how a film reflects that kind of thing

God movies where they just do random song and musical segments will never not be funny to me. this is a little different as to my understanding this is more expected in the genre, but watching bollywood movies with my friends was like. okay so there's a dramatic scene going on Oh wait now they're dancing on a shoreline in iceland. for the next eight minutes. this is fine and normal. like its so ABRUPTSDHKFJ

that's honestly a really really really cool concept for the film but i agree in that that's a really weird way to resolve it? i feel like in something like a film talking about religion its important that the religion component isn't entirely lost if that wasn't what the whole point was, does that make sense? like in this context it shouldn't take a person dneoucning their religion when the entire point of the show isn't about losing your faith just about reconciling with other people, it feels irrelevant and like the religion is being centered in the religious wars and not the violence. side note glad your grandpa didn't actually get shot that's a major yikes

man that other ending scene you described though... like imaginably this would be much more impactful if i had the visuals as well and could see this unfold in the film but like. your description even now feels really really emotionally impactful and. yeah. glad it has a good actual ending to it that kind of rounds it out i guess? seems like a good film overall but with some weird quirks and bad parts definitely

ty for the movie review! sorry if my response is scatterbrained im mulittasking rn but this was very cool to read :DDD

[rainypebble07]

i hope you're feeling better now but i just saw your post from the other day and i sure do have Things to put in your askbox so

hello hi tell me about your writing process ! and i mean literally any part of it, literally any Thing, i'm just kind of curious because i really love what you write and my wips generally stay unfinished no matter how much i like the idea so i'm also kinda just curious how you manage to Get It Done yk?

no pressure at all i was just wondering

(Dude, I wrote too much. Sorry. i love to speak. I was excited I got an ask)

Hi! Yes! I'm feeling a little better now, still kinda sick, but so it goes. And that's so sweet of you! I'm glad you like my writing!

Writing Process? Oh boy, this is gonna be so disappointing. Most of the stories I've written come to me at random moments and over the course of a few days I'll make up this weird elaborate plot in my head until I get to the point where I'm like 'ok, this need to be a fic'.

I usually use two documents while writing something. I've got a layout (that's where I pull the crazy planning posts from) and the actual story(where I get the out-of-context stuff). I write down everything I want to happen in the layout document and add as much to it as I see fit (this can include really anything from specific conversations I want to really generic plot points) as well as block out chapters and after I'm finished with that, it usually just looks like a weirdly formatted poem or something. I never use spellcheck or anything on that either and I use such casual language, so it always looks like something I wrote while blackout drunk, but I love it nonetheless. Here's the first chapter of "Mike Wheeler's Ultimate Guide to the Undead"'s outline for example:

As you can see, it's a mess, but I love it. And somehow I got the first chapter out of this.

The point of that is pretty much it's an outline, but it's also kind of fun since it's so casual, so I've found it helps to motivate me to write new parts of the story bc I'm engaged by the strange wording I use on the outline. I also use this doc for title planning and other stuff I have to figure out beforehand. For example, I wrote the poem in Shady Business on an outline doc.

I then transfer this over to the story doc in an actual storytelling format. Most of my writing comes out of absolutely nowhere and idk what to say about it. I'll word-vomit for about ten minutes and get a page, look at it, and go 'oh hey, why isn't that horrible?'. I'm also super conversational in my writing, which helps it flow better. I always thought that made my writing hard to read, but a lot of people have actually said they like my writing style so I guess it's not that bad! I just treat it as if I'm telling the story over a cup of coffee. As for representing the character well (because they are real characters), I just try to get into their mindset as much as possible. I don't really have any specific way I do that, though. I recently had to create a fake "Am I the Asshole" post for Mike so I could try to understand his feelings on something better within myself (made it on the outline doc!).

After the initial word vomit of a chapter, I'll go back and read it over, adding or taking away what I see fit and fixing initial spelling mistakes and making sure it reads well. I don't have a beta reader (I wish I did), so I've gotta just assume it's readable and go with it. After the initial fixes, I'll read it over again just to make sure. I only fix all the spelling mistakes by the time I go to publish because I use Grammarly on the Ao3 post thing lol. By that point, it's only like 4 mistakes left anyway (and the stuff Grammarly says is incorrect but I don't care bc it sounds good and I can do what I want).

I also highlight my little outline as I go (usually in green bc byler brainrot, you can see it in the image) and it helps me visualize my progress and keep going!

But, yeah. That's pretty much the entire process and I have no better explanation than it's simply a dumpster fire of improv and weird pieces of moment I have glued together in my brain. It's arts and crafts, at the best, but somehow I pull it together and create a story!

As for motivation, most of it's four things. One, the anticipation of writing scenes I really want to. Two, telling myself I'm gonna get fun comments and reading old comments (I thrive off of positive feedback from poeple). Three, a specialized playlist for the fic. I make playlists for my stories with songs I like that fit the overall vibe and sometimes I get inspiration from them and it gives me new ideas. And four, probably the most important, I just really like writing. It's my favorite things ever to just put words on a page and make a story out of it. It's so fun and so cool and so magical and I love it.

And that's about it. The end. That's my writing process. It doesn't really make much sense, but I guess it works, so it works for me! If you're looking to improve your own completion rate, I mean, maybe try some of it, but it's really a personal preference. You've gotta do tril and error. And I've really gotta work on slowing down anyway because I can totally rush writing a fic and end up making it a lot less than it could have been if I took more time. And If you're not feeling motivated to write, don't force it. Seriously. Things like I suggested totally help me keep up with it, but what I hate more than anything is stuff I wrote when I didn't want to write. It's just... uninspired.

Okay! Thank you so much for asking that! Hopefully this long rant of nonsense (omg like my writing) answered your question! Sorry I wrote an essay!

[sprixyn]

marble hornets band au... thoughts? suggestions? im kind of in love already. more thoughts below

ok first of all? no slenderman in this universe. its my au and i get to make my blorbos (somewhat) happy BUT the operator is still one of tims hallucinations that hes been having since he was a kid. tim writes songs to cope with his mental illness, he's done this his whole life but hes never shared any of them w anyone. skip to film school (maybe i should change their major to be music so it makes more sense that theyre all into it? unsure. anyways). alex has been looking to start a band but hasnt been putting a lot of effort into people searching cause hes focused on school. and one night — maybe on a dare, maybe because he's had a couple of drinks —  tim performs a song about the operator. everyones taken aback cause they didnt know the guy very well but they really like the song. alex goes woah ive been looking to start a band actually?? and kind of drags along everyone in the room to a first rehearsal it goes surprisingly well, everyone clicks and the music sounds great. since theyre all living in dorms and using the practice studio on campus theyre able to get together usually a few times a week, and they hang out outside of it too. they become really close friends. most of the songs are still tims old material but they write stuff together too. brian has some killer ideas and eventually they end up with enough material that matches in vibes to release their first album: "To The Ark". its a massive project, 38 songs.. YEAH THATS RIGHT each one is named after a totheark video. it also makes sense because tim 'wrote' a lot of them and brian the others. im a genius tell me im a genius. also maybe clips from it are the music videos for the songs? or clips from mh too i like the idea of that. idk its released in three parts (for the three seasons) and "Operator" (THE SONG TIM PLAYED FOR THEM FIRST BTW) becomes a radio hit out of nowhere. by this time theyre reaching graduation so its time to discuss the future of the band!! theres a big scene where theyre each thinking abt what they want for the future but they end up deciding they want to keep it together and see where it leads them :) so they go on tour together and are super successful and umm happily ever after. thats as far as ive thought LOL also theyre all gay and trans just like in canon <3/hj. so maybe theres love triangle stuff?? but i dont really have any fav pairing in this scenario since the dynamics are different.. idk give me ideas pleas. and if anyone drew them i would piss myself and cry OH ALSO I FORGOT TO MENTION all the alter ego things are like stage personas in this. i think thats probably apparent in the first image but yeah. they go on stage and introduce themselves as that and wear the masks for performances. idk why alex and jessica go without one maybe ill design them masks too but that feels weird

[thefanficmonster]

Chaos Magnet

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: None :)

Genre: FLUFF, HUMOR, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: When Y/N get invited onto a stream with the gang by Jack (Sean) she’s not sure what to expect but it’s safe to say that such chaos is not something she could’ve ever imagined.

Requested by Anon. Hi hun! Thank you so much for your lovely request, it really had me laughing and still had me be awe-struck by the adorableness of the idea. Sorry it’s been such a long time since you put in the request but I still hope you come across the fic and read it! Love, Vy ❤

“Alright people, silence in the call for a moment!“ Jack calls out when the lobby’s counter has finally reached up to nine, leaving room for one more person who is yet to join, but apparently he doesn’t care much that he’ll probably have to repeat himself when the tenth person enters the call and lobby.

“Jack, you should know by now, the day there’s silence in this call is when some supernatural force murders all ten of our mics. It just won’t happen, deal with it.“ Charlie, who was having an ‘intense’ discussion with Toast up until Jack’s interruption, says sarcastically, chuckling ever so slightly, enough for it to be contagious and make me crack a smile as well.

“There won’t be silence, I’ll be talking. If only the rest of you would LET ME.“ Jack replies just as sarcastically, getting Charlie to let out an actual fit of laughter. When his chuckling subsides along with the rest of the chatter in the call, Jack finally gets to have the speech he mentioned, “Right, ok so here’s the deal folks: today we have a guest addition to the stream, curtesy of mine because I’m obsessed with her channel. As you might or might not have noticed, there’s one person missing from the lobby but she’s gonna be joining us any minute now. As I said, I’m a huge fan so you better not embarrass me or I swear I’m gonna kill you first when I get to be an impostor.”

I don’t know what the others are thinking - probably something similar as what I’m thinking though: Noted, embarrass Jack to the best of your ability. Trust me, getting him flustered in front of his YouTube idol is well worth the death in Among Us he’s threatening us with.

“Also keep in mind that she’s of a different kind, not of our breed if you will - she’s an ASMR YouTuber. Not those who eat in the mic just because they think it’d be pleasant for people to hear.“ Jack goes on to explain, the way he’s described this girl’s craft is quite intriguing, especially when you consider how confidently Jack expressed his distaste with ASMR in the past. He’s always claimed not to be a fan but here we are, I guess people really do change.

“Thank you for making it seem like I do more than just cut up soaps, Jack. I really appreciate it but don’t bump the bar up that high, people will be disappointed when they actually visit my channel.“ An unfamiliar voice appears in the call out of nowhere. Though, unfamiliar is not the adjective I should focus on when describing this girl’s voice. I’ll list a few more but even they won’t do it justice: pleasant, awing, mesmerizing, unbelievable, out-of-this-world...I really could keep going.

“Oh come on, Y/N, you don’t just cut up soap. You turn them into bath bombs too!“ Jack laughs, earning him a playful scoff from the newcomer. “Oh yeah, almost forgot - Everyone, this is Y/N, our ASMR artist.“

“Please, some ‘artist’ I am. The people in my comment section would disagree with that description.“ She giggles after kindly responding to each and every greeting the gang sends her way, myself included. “The word I’ve seen people use most when describing my channel is ‘cringey’ so....yeah.“ She laughs, a genuine laugh instead of the bitter one I was expecting to follow such words.

“That seems to be the cool kids’ favorite word, don’t dwell too much on it.“ Rae tells her reassuringly, “What’s important is what word would you use to describe your channel?“

Y/N hums, sounding as though she’s fallen in thought but that’s only one brief moment before she answers. Or begins to, at least, “Well, if I were to describe my channel with one word it’d be....BEEFY!”

That one out-of-context word, screamed out by such an angelic voice has me breaking down with overwhelming laughter collapsing all my ability to hold back.

“Out of all the words, you’d choose beefy?“ I somehow manage to ask between fits of laughter that render me breathless.

“She’s a vegetarian, I think, I don’t know why she’d choose that word.“ Jack too is laughing his butt off but has a significantly better grip on it, “Y/N, care to explain your peculiar choice?“

There’s a lot of shuffling and random noise on Y/N’s end before her reply finally comes, accompanied by a weak meow, “Sorry guys, that was a classic cat of Mr. Beef Stronganoff seeking attention by being chaotic.” She says through laughter, her words followed by another meow which was a lot more clear, seemingly closer to the mic, “He took down my mic, and he seems like he wants to do it again....BEEFY NO!”

For some reason, even with that explanation in mind, I can’t keep myself from laughing. Come to think of it, I think the explanation only makes it funnier.

“Ugh, darn it! I saved my mic but he ran across my keyboard and turned my webcam off how do I turn it back on?“ Her voice dies down for a few secs before it reemerges from her end, “Ok nevermind I got it. Now I can answer...what was the question again?“

Recovering from his laughing fit, Jack manages to repeat the question, “What word would you use to describe your channel?”

“Oh that! Right, ok. Um, I’d call it aesthetically pleasing and BEEFY NOT THE ROUTER CABLE YOU DUMMIE!“

She’s insane. Or her cat’s insane. I can’t tell. Maybe both. Either way, I can’t help but feel like I’ve found a soulmate in this literal stranger. It’s safe to say us chaos magnets like her and I, we don’t only attract chaos, but also chaotic individuals. I’m so glad she magnetized me to herself. Or was it the other way around? We may never know - mystery is in the nature of us chaos magnets, you know.

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[erinlindsayy]

thinking about it... erin & jay left in similar(ish) ways but people only saw jay's departure as horrible and rushed. it's just frustrating to see because it's been made very clear by these stans that they can't separate their petty feelings towards sophia from the show. i agree that tracy does get unnecessary hate (and i don't condone it) but stans are constantly invalidating sophia too. idk... missing erin but i also understand why sophia has moved on.

ok so I have many thoughts and I am just putting them under a cut in case anyone cares to read

Erin & Jay did both leave in ways that felt rushed. Erin's entire exit storyline felt like it came out of left field, and she was finally making progress..., but then Jay just leaves because suddenly he's got a random ex wife?? And PTSD that had never really been explored--and a girlfriend who was willing to help him work through it? But no, it was ERIN who left Jay? Jay essentially broke up with her when he left, so of course that whole departure was bound to be a mess. The writers completely fumbled her exit, and it was extremely out of character for both HER and for Jay.

And then!! THEN!!! Jay goes and leaves Hailey without talking to her first--and this time, it's worse, because he's actively married to her (and remembered this wife--which, also--did he ever divorce Abby? he must have if he was able to marry hailey, but that storyline went literally nowhere which is infuriating)

But no! Jay isn't horrible! It's not him--it's the writers, it's the storyline that is flawed, not the character! Erin is still public enemy no. 1, the big bad, the selfish and manipulative bitch from apartment 407 (or whatever her apartment number is lol). She left Jay! She's so evil! Her exit was written perfectly, and nooooooo not rushed or fumbled at all!

NO. JAY LITERALLY LEFT HER!! HE DECIDED THAT HE DIDN'T WANT TO LET HER IN, AND OPTED TO LEAVE HER WHEN SHE OFFERED TO HELP HIM, TO SUPPORT HIM HOW HE DID FOR HER, AND HE REJECTED HER.

Tracy does get hate, but the same people who defend her turn around and attack everyone else when they don't align with what they like/want/think. It's hypocritical. No one deserves that kind of hate. And also??? They're real people with real lives who don't even know we exist. And quite frankly, I don't care. I think the work they do is nice, and I like their activism and that they promote various things, but they're just people at the end of the day, and I'm not going to go out of my way to praise/harass someone when they're...,, just normal people (who happen to be known by a lot more people and have a lot more money, lol)

do I want erin back as a character? Yeah. I think she's got depth, and I think that we were finally getting to see her deal with more beyond her stupid mother, but then it all just got... ruined. But the fact that upstead shippers (and other people, not just specifically upstead stans/upton/halstead etc) keep saying toxic things about

A. her (sophia bush)

B. erin as a character

C. the people who: like linstead, erin, or sophia

is just frustrating. Me, as an individual, liking erin as a character, and liking linstead, doesn't take anything away from you or your life. Stop sending hate to people--actors and fans--because their likes and dislikes don't align with your own. Ship who you want! Like who you want! I love Hailey, and I love Erin! Awesome!

someone straight up called me delusional in my inbox once bc I really like linstead. And that's only scratching the tip of the iceberg as to the downright rude and offensive asks/messages/comments I've gotten about the characters I like and things I write. how is that acceptable?

anyways lots of rambling but oh well haha

[jackrrabbit]

be a little bad /// Hawks x f!Reader (18+)

Summary: College AU 🍺 Frat boy Keigo pours you your first drink and decides he’s going to help himself to more of your firsts.

A/N: Hawks just makes so much sense as a frat bro 🤧 @koiibito​ thank you for working through ideas w/ me…& remember when I told you this was going to be short?? whoops 🤡

Tags/warnings: dubcon/coercion, inexperienced reader, fuckboy Hawks, overstimulation, alcohol, inebriated sex, problematic frat culture stuff, idk what to call it but peer pressure? to drink etc., all characters are adults

How long have you been sitting here?

You feel like there’s some kind of immense weight holding you down, making it impossible for you to stand up off this ugly couch that’s been crammed into the corner of the room to make space for the dance floor. You and this couch have become good friends over what you think has been the past hour—at first you occupied yourself by looking at the people playing beer pong, but after the fourth time you had to decline one of the players’ offers to join, you decided to stop making eye contact. So you sit on the couch, you stare at your phone, and you wish you were back at your dorm—or, better yet, back in your hometown with all your high school friends.

But you’re not. You’re here, multiple time zones away from anywhere you can call home, and all of your high school friends are asleep. And the one person—the one person you’ve managed to make friends with since orientation is the one who dragged you to this freaking frat party and then proceeded to abandon you. Apparently he didn’t feel the need to tell you that as a new pledge of this frat, he’s going to be on “door duty” checking ratios and giving sardonic responsibility talks for the next two hours.

Which leaves you here, sitting on the couch and trying to avoid the more questionable stains that you can barely make out in the seizure-inducing strobe lights. There’s a can of beer icing down your palms and you adjust your grip so it doesn’t leave a damp spot of condensation in your lap. It was your friend who gave it to you before he disappeared (“you don’t even have to drink it,” he’d said, “just hold it and no one else will pressure you to get another drink”).

It smells foul. You’ve had sips of beer before, and you can never understand why people drink it voluntarily. But maybe…maybe now that you’re in college, maybe now that you’re an adult, you’ll enjoy the taste. You raise the can to your lips and chug down a heavy gulp.

Ugh. Still gross. You wince and wipe your mouth.

“Not a fan of natty, huh? Good taste.” A hand appears out of nowhere to pluck the can away from you and you jump, nearly smacking your forehead against the stranger’s chin. He pulls back. “Whoa! Careful there.”

“…That’s mine,” you say half-heartedly as the guy tilts up the beer—your beer, your decoy drink—and takes a long draught.

“You’re not missing out. This stuff is piss,” he says, grinning down at you.

He’s not the first guy to hit on you at this party (what is it about lost-looking girls that draws frat boys in like moths to a flame?), but he is the best-looking. Long, swept-back blond hair; equally long eyelashes; a hint of scruff on his chin—he’s pretty and masculine at the same time. You let him take the seat next to you and lure you into a conversation, and he’s nice, too—laughing with you about how bad the beer tastes and sympathizing with your criticisms of your first experience at a frat party. You fall over yourself apologizing when he lets slip that he’s a brother (“social chair, actually, so if the party sucks it’s on me”) but he tells you it’s okay, that no one likes going to parties alone, not at first.

His name is Keigo Takami. He’s a junior, a marketing major, and he joined the frat in his first semester. According to him, the fraternity is a great group of guys (“I mean, they’re a bunch of jackasses, sure, but they’re well-meaning jackasses for the most part”) and all the rumors about frat parties are overblown.

“Seriously, you’d be having fun if you were drinking,” Keigo tells you. “These parties aren’t intended for a sober audience.”

“Sure,” you scoff, but it’s not serious. You are having fun, talking to him.

He gasps, mock-offended. “Don’t believe me? I’ll prove it to you. Stay right here, okay—don’t move a muscle.”

When he gets up, the dense crowd on the makeshift dance floor parts to let him through to the stairs leading into the upper floors. It’s kind of amazing. Everyone else (yourself included) has to wade through, pushing and shoving past the teeming throng to get anywhere, but for Keigo it’s effortless.

He’s back in just a few minutes, holding—oh god, how typical—a red plastic cup filled with a kool-aid red liquid that smells sickly sweet. Is it actually kool-aid? You take a whiff and can’t detect the tell-tale bitter alcohol fumes. “Is this…?”

“Mm, that’s jungle juice. The frat’s secret recipe. It’s good, try it.”

You raise the cup but hesitate. Is this really a good idea? You’ve been warned about stuff like this so many times. You don’t have to do it just because everyone else is.

Keigo catches your hesitation and frowns. “What’s up?”

“It’s nothing, I just…haven’t…”

“Hm? Don’t tell me this is your first drink? Aww, little freshman baby.” He’s mocking you, looking down on you, and you hate it. You’re not a baby. You can play with the boys.

You make eye contact with him before you tip back the cup and gulp down the juice, letting the full contents slosh down your throat. It’s syrupy-sweet and tastes like fruit punch and oranges so it goes down easy, a lot easier than you thought it would. A drop slides out of the corner of your mouth but you lick it up when it runs over your lip.

Keigo whistles. “Damn, down the hatch. That was…that was kinda hot.”

If you’re blushing, you hope he thinks it’s because of the drink.

He’s faster when he gets you the second cup. It doesn’t even taste like alcohol. Keigo won’t tell you what’s in it or how much (“secret recipe’s gotta stay a secret, y’know? It’s in the bylaws”). Halfway into the second cup you start to feel dizzy, which Keigo says means it’s working. He pulls you up off what you’ve semi-affectionately begun to think of as your couch and guides you onto the dance floor. The music is heavy and blaring loud, thudding through the speakers and making the walls shake, making you shake as it travels through the sticky floor up into your body. You sway haphazardly but Keigo’s got you by the arms, pulling you out of the way of the crowd, pulling you into him.

“Looking a little unsteady there, baby,” he says, and—and, you hear him, you do, but he’s talking to you from underwater (or, no, that’s just what it sounds like? or—) um. Beaming his voice into your brain or something?

Keigo laughs and you giggle and it feels good. “Better finish that or you’re gonna spill it,” he says, putting his warm hot hand over yours, guiding the cup back up to your face so you can finish off.

You’re in the middle of the dance floor surrounded by writhing bodies so it shouldn’t surprise you when someone’s elbow smacks into your back and jostles you so the jungle juice spills, spills out of your mouth dripping down your chin onto the dress. You process the interruption a second too late and the sticky red liquid is already staining your skin. …Feels good, you think first, because the drink is cool and refreshing and it’s so hot in here, steamy warm, everyone pressed up against everyone else like you’re pressed into Keigo, and then oh no—oh no your dress—but at least it’s a dark color, at least the stain won’t show—

“What did I tell you about spilling?” you sort of  hear Keigo say, and then you sort of feel the weight of his hand wiping away the juice from your mouth, and then he sticks his face up close to yours and oh my god oh my god he’s kissing you.

There’s something indescribably weird about it, his tongue thrashing over yours like he’s trying to lick the juice out of your mouth while you try not to flinch back from the taste of the beer he was drinking earlier. But he’s so solid, so steady, the only still thing in a room full of movement—when your eyes move away from him into the twisting mass of bodies and flashing lights you feel dizzy, so you keep your gaze locked firmly on him. He wraps his arm around your back and you instantly feel better and lean into him, lean into the kiss.

You’re drooling by the time he stops kissing you. “So sweet,” Keigo says, wiping a pearl of saliva off his mouth. “Little sloppy, but I can work with that.”

You don’t get it. You don’t even know if you would get it if you were sober. What you do get is Keigo’s hand wrapped around your upper arm, pulling you through the crowd to the staircase. Once again the people move aside for him, like the Red Sea for Moses, you think with a little laugh and he looks back at you and raises an eyebrow questioningly.

You stop, halting at the base of the stairs and squinting up at the bright yellow light in the stairwell, so invasive and clinical after the strobing darkness of the bottom floor. There’s something hard pressing into your side when you try to lean on the wall. There’s a name for that thing, isn’t there? B…ban…bannister, right? You grip the bannister with one hand to hold yourself still and resist Keigo tugging you higher up the stairs.

“W-Where’re we going?” you ask. It’s weird—your voice doesn’t sound like drunk people in movies. It’s not slurred or unintelligible. To your own ears, it just sounds high, and fast, and…nervous.

“Going upstairs,” Keigo says patiently, still pulling gently at your arm. “Gonna get some air, ‘kay? I’ll show you something cool.”

“O-Okay…” Something cool? You want to see something cool, even if you’re practically tripping over the stairs trying to stumble up them.

One of the brothers is guarding the entrance to the upper floors (no doubt ensuring that wayward attendees don’t try to take the party upstairs into the personal bedrooms). He nods at Keigo when he passes, but when he catches sight of you—you with your hair mussed, lipstick smeared, flushed cheeks and wobbly steps—his eyes narrow. “She good?”

Even in your boozy haze, it doesn’t escape you that the question isn’t directed toward you. He’s asking Keigo.

“Her? She’s fine, she’s fine.” Keigo throws his arm over your shoulders like you’re old buddies. “I’m taking her to my room, it’s so fucking hot down there I can’t breathe.”

“Yeah…” the other guy says, gaze still focused on you, but he doesn’t move to the side to let you through.

“Oh, come on.” Keigo steps up onto the same stair as him so he can look him in the eye. “I said she’s fine, didn’t I? She’s having fun. Aren’t you? Tell him you’re having fun, (Y/N).”

His tone isn’t any less sociable than before, but—are you imagining it?—he’s not really asking, is he? “Um, I’m having—having fun?”

Oh. Oh no. Why did that sound like a question?

The brother waits a moment, and then shrugs and steps aside. “Whatever, bro.”

Keigo’s bedroom is on the third and highest floor of the sprawling mansion where the fraternity makes its home. Flags are pinned to the walls—one with the colors of your university and one with the fraternity crest—and on top of his desk there are trophies lined up in meticulous rows: track and field, swimming, cross country, fencing. The bedroom is a rare single, one of only a few in the crowded house, which Keigo explains is because he earned it as a member of leadership when he was elected social chair (“it was unanimous—well, almost, a couple of the douchebags voted for themselves but—“)

You’re trying to listen, you really are. But your head is spinning. Now that you’re out of the feverish swampy heat of the dance floor downstairs, you feel marginally more sober—and also more aware that you’re inebriated. Keigo’s voice is steady and soothing like the rest of him. The timbre, the intonations, the casual lilt and dip of his speaking make more sense to you than the words themselves.

“Here, have this. It’s rum. Tell me what it smells like…” Keigo puts something in your hand—a tiny little cup, a plastic shot glass—and you have to use all your concentration to hold it still enough to let him fill it with red-brown liquid out of an unlabeled bottle.

When you carefully lift it up to your face, you can smell the alcohol. It smells sweet, too—like vanilla, vanilla and something fruity and heavy. Bananas?

But mostly it smells like alcohol.

“It smells like banana bread, doesn’t it?” Keigo asks, pouring himself a shot too. “Try it.”

You take a tentative sip but even that meager amount is sickeningly bitter in your mouth. You hold it on your tongue for a second trying to taste the ‘banana bread’ and then swallow a few moments too late, hoping you don’t look as disgusted as you feel.

“Not like that,” Keigo laughs, tipping his own shot back and downing it in a single go. “Like this. Your turn.”

“…Keigo…” You’re not sure what you want to say. You don’t want the shot, it tastes bad and you’re already drunk. You’re a smart girl, a careful girl. You should know better. You do know better. But it feels like—it feels like, even though he’s not making you do anything, somehow it’s too late to say no.

“C’mon, (Y/N). It’s just a little shot.” He taps his empty glass against your almost-full one. “And look, if you don’t want to, I’ll just take you back downstairs…is that what you want?”

Back downstairs. Back to sitting by yourself and waiting for your friend and turning down offers. Is that what you want?

Keigo’s gaze dips down to the ground and he shifts a step forward. “Now…maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think you want that. ‘Cause when I saw you sitting on that couch, you didn’t look like you were having such a good time, hm? Am I right?”

“…um, I guess?”

“Yeah…you looked so sad and lost and lonely I couldn’t leave you alone. Admit it...” He reaches up and tucks a wayward lock of hair behind your ear. “You were waiting for someone to catch your interest. You were wishing a guy like me would come rescue you. If I’m wrong, I’ll take you right back downstairs and leave you by yourself for the rest of the night, okay? But if I’m right…”

You can smell his hot breath on your face—vanilla and sugar and bananas and rum.

“…take the shot.”

It’s not so bad the second time. You’re quicker and you don’t bother holding it in your mouth. The liquor sears your throat clean and when you get over the unpleasantness, it really does taste kind of like banana bread.

“Ohhhh… Not so bad, is it?” Keigo takes the glass from you. “God, you—you complain, but you really take it down like a champ.”

“Alcohol tastes nasty,” you reply, wrinkling your nose. “Why’d people do this for fun?”

“It’s not about the taste, not at first,” Keigo laughs. Weird. It’s like he’s always laughing.

“Then what?” At your next exhale, you squeeze your eyes shut and reopen them. Ah. Ah. The room is moving again, spinning, contracting and dilating. There’s something relaxing about it, like you’re being rocked on gentle waves in the ocean. You feel floaty, comfortable, pleased.

“Well…it’s nice, isn’t it? Isn’t this nice? Helps you not think so much, not worry about the consequences.” Keigo’s arms are wrapping around you again, anchoring you in place. His torso is warm and hard against yours. “Lets you be bad.”

“Mmm…” You blink up at Keigo, admire his jawline and his lashes and his pretty gold eyes. He looks like a boy you would’ve had a crush on in high school, an older boy who never would’ve given you the time of day.

His hand is rubbing circles over your back, shifting the fabric of your dress along with his palm. “So what do you say?” he murmurs. “Wanna be a little bad?”

You do. You want to be bad and naughty and reckless. You want to make dumb, drunken decisions that you’ll laugh about with your friends in a few years. You want to do things you’ll regret, because you’d rather regret the things you had the guts to do than the ones you were too scared to try.

You inch your arms up past Keigo’s shoulders and tangle them in his fluffy hair, tugging gently at the different strands until you work up the nerve to pull his head to your level and kiss him. Even though you initiated it, he immediately takes the lead and the force of his mouth writhing against yours has your neck twisting back to accommodate. His tongue pushes against yours again but you don’t mind it this time. Your spine is arched and you’d probably be falling backward if his hand wasn’t bracing your lower back before sliding down to grab your ass.

“God—“ he breaks the kiss— “goddamn, look at you.” He’s gripping your dress, lifting it, pulling the fabric up over your hips and up to your waist at the same time as he showers kisses over your cheeks and your jawline and your neck.

You lift your chin (how strange that you’ve never done this before and still it feels so natural) to let him bite and suck scarlet marks onto the thin skin of your throat. “Keigo—“

“Baby,” he sighs, his breath stirring the hair falling over your neck. “You’re gonna be a killer, I can tell… You’re sweet now, but fuck, you’ve got no idea.” His hands are under the hem of your dress giving your ass another squeeze before he pulls the skirt up.

“Killer? What do you...” He’s backing you onto the bed, kicking off his shoes, and you do the same.

“Shh, that’s for me to know and you to find out. Arms up,” he tells you, and you slowly comply, letting him take the dress off your shivering body to leave you in your panties—no bra, not in this dress. Keigo holds the dress in his hands for a second before he drops it to the floor. “This—you know what, this is how I knew you were a virgin, this little dress, who the hell wears a dress to a frat party—“

“A virgin?” Hearing him say the word hits some kind of trigger in you and your eyes go wide. Without thinking, you fold your arms over your breasts and pull your legs up to your chest.

“Not a virgin virgin, it’s just what we call freshie girls who’ve never been to a party before—“ Keigo starts to clarify, but when he catches your reaction (your overreaction), his eyes narrow and he sits on the bed over you, knees straddling your legs. “Wait. Are you—you’re not actually a virgin, are you?”

You look to the side, cheeks hot, wanting to deny it but knowing there’s no way you’ve got the mental fortitude to really convince him.

“Fuuuck,” Keigo breathes, leaning over you and framing your face with his hands. “Baby. You just keep getting sweeter, don’t you?”

“Shut up,” you whine, covering your face with your hands. “’s embarrassing…”

“You should be glad I asked, or you’d be…like crying and bleeding and stuff, right? God, it’s been a while since I had a virgin.” He scratches his forehead and then his hand comes down to absently stroke the soft inside of your thigh.

It tickles. It tickles and you feel goosebumps rising to attention on your leg and a silly little laugh bubbles out of your throat. An involuntary shiver passes through you.

Keigo smirks and ducks down to kiss the skin of your inner thigh. It’s light—it’s nothing—but the rough stubble on his chin scratches over your skin and you giggle again. He nudges up higher on your body, so close you can feel the heat of his breath through your panties, and his hands grip around your waist to keep you in place.

Everything’s moving so quickly. You wonder in the back of your mind, the tiny part that still has a decent grasp on sobriety, if you’re ready for all of this. Then you wonder if anyone’s ever ready. How are you supposed to know? When it’s the right time, are you not supposed to be nervous? You are nervous, but the liquor is taking the edge off, making you more comfortable, maybe even keeping your mouth shut when the sober version of you would’ve stopped this a long time ago. You don’t know.

But what you do know—what you do know is that Keigo is easing your panties down off your legs and then nosing back in to kiss up your thighs and latch his mouth over your pussy.

“Mm—oh, fuck—“ What are you saying? You’re not a moaner, you don’t even say ‘fuck’. You’ve always been able to keep quiet when you’re by yourself. It’s like Keigo’s tongue flicking over your clit is pulling the voice out of you.

He wriggles the tip of his tongue over that sweet spot and the breath falls out of your lungs in what is undeniably a whimper. You feel so tense with the effort of keeping still, blood rushing to your pussy, and your thigh spasms where it’s nestled next to Keigo’s cheek. “You ever done this before?” he hums between licks.

“N-No…ah!”

“Ever cum?” His tongue returns, licking you up and down in lazy strokes, spreading your juices all over your dripping cunt.

“…hahhh, yesss…” Yes, you’ve had an orgasm before, in your own bed on your own fingers. When you do it to yourself it’s detached and methodical, a means to an end. You keep your mouth closed and you barely move and you get it over with. It’s not like this, wet and sloppy and out of your control, teasing, giving you almost exactly what you want but not quite.

You’re moaning. You’re moaning. You can still hear the throbbing music of the party downstairs, and you’re moaning your little heart out, whimpering, crying with little ah-ah-ah’s that anyone who can hear would recognize immediately.

When you do it yourself, it’s not like this. It’s never like this. Keigo moves from slow to quick unpredictably, always pulling you down right when you feel that pressure building in your core. It feels good enough that you’re annoyed—no, not annoyed, downright pissed when he sits back up on his heels and licks the wetness off his own lips.

“What’re you—I was, I was gonna—“ you start, trying to organize your thoughts. It had felt good. You’d wanted it, wanted more, and now your pussy feels all warm and wet and needy, pulsating with the lust he stirred up in you.

“Gonna cum?” Keigo leans down and kisses you, long and slow. “Sorry…but I’m selfish. When you cum, I wanna feel it.”

His arms flex in the yellow lamplight as he pulls the collar of his shirt over his head. You’re sprawled over the sheets on your back, not sure what you can say so you just watch. It helps that there’s plenty to look at—the hard planes of his abdomen forming the tell-tale dips of a six-pack, perfectly-formed lean muscle (all those sports trophies, you think to yourself), and the V of his hipbones disappearing under the hem of his pants…which he’s currently taking off as well. There’s something to be said for the benefits of spending more time at the gym than you do at the library.

Every part of Keigo Takami is impressive—he’s a work of art in human form. And when he pulls down his boxer briefs and his cock springs out to bob against his stomach, you’ve gotta admit that that is pretty impressive too.

Impressive…and intimidating. You bite your lip looking at it. Keigo pumps himself up and down, and every time his fist moves down to expose the thick pink head, you wonder the same thing: how is that supposed to fit!?

Keigo must see the sudden anxiety on your face, because he smiles (reassuringly? arrogantly? or is he just delighting in your discomfort?) and lifts you like a kitten with his hands under your armpits. “Up, up, on your knees, legs together—perfect. Now turn and put your hands on the wall.”

It’s so much easier to follow his instructions than try to consider what would happen if you said no. His callused hands petting over your waist make you feel like you’re doing the right thing. But—still—the nagging anxiety of having something so big in your pussy doesn’t go away.

You hear a drawer opening, and you turn away from the wall to see Keigo squeezing a clear liquid from a bottle in his hand and spreading it meticulously down the shaft of his cock. Lube? That’s good, you’ve heard from your more experienced female friends that it’s good to be extra wet the first time…but there’s something else, something you’re missing, isn’t there?

You try to think, try to ground yourself and understand, really understand what’s happening to you. What are you missing? The bed is squishy and soft under your knees, the air is windy somehow (is there a fan on? you hadn’t noticed), and the music downstairs is so loud you can feel the vibrations through the wall you’re pushed up against. And. And. You try to think. What are you forgetting that you’re not allowed to forget?

You can feel his cock, too. Keigo’s hands grip the flesh of your hips and he leans his chest into your back, brushing your hair over your shoulders so the two of you can touch skin to skin. The head of his cock bumps against your mound, raw and hard and heavy. Skin to skin.

Skin to skin.

It hits you in a wave of panic and you whip your head around and push desperately back at Keigo’s solid shoulder. “Wait! Wait, Keigo—the condom? Are you wearing a condom?”

His hand wraps around your wrist and pins it back against the wall, and he bows down to nip a a little spot on the crook of your neck. “Calm down, we don’t need one.”

“No, we—we need it, I need it!” you squeak out, trying to push away from Keigo but he’s got you sandwiched between him and the wall and those perfect muscles you were admiring earlier are definitely not just for show.

“I said calm down. I’m not gonna go inside.”

“…What?”

He rocks his hips forward and his dick bumps up under your pussy again. “Ever heard of thighfucking?”

No, you’ve never heard of thighfucking, but you’re an intelligent girl and you might be drunk but you’re not so drunk that you can’t piece together what he means. Your interpretation is reinforced when you feel Keigo slathering liquid—lubricant—over the lips of your pussy and between the tops of your thighs. It feels cold and weird—slippery slick, like lotion—but even the barest second of his fingers brushing over your clit reignites the need from when he ate you out and you shudder.

“Keep those knees together for me, baby,” Keigo says, and with no further delay he pushes his cock in between your thighs, aiming it perfectly to slide between your pussy lips so the head will bump up on your clit.

“…ahh, Keigo, wait—oh!” The full weight of Keigo’s body shoves against your back every time he thrusts. You’re too weak for this, too delicate to stay in position. Your elbows buckle under the pressure and your face is about to smack directly into the wall until Keigo laces his fingers in your loose hair and yanks you back from it.

He’s got no trouble holding you down, keeping you perfectly posed with your soft thighs molded tightly around the cock driving between them. Your head is craned back from his hold on your hair and he lays hungry kisses over your mouth, your cheek, your neck, anywhere he can reach. He’s right—he is selfish, and you know that this position is about him, not you, so it takes you by surprise that the longer he fucks his cock between your thighs and your dripping slit, the more heat you feel rising up in your cunt.

It’s not right. It’s not supposed to be like this. Your first time doing anything with a boy isn’t supposed to end up with him using you like he’s humping a pillow, thrusting his slippery cock into your thighs and groaning in your ear. It’s all wrong, and it’s definitely wrong that you’re getting off to it.

But now you know why he ate you out and left you high and dry (well, not dry) without making you cum—because the heat and the friction and the feeling of every ridged vein sliding over your clit, his hips smacking with a wet slap against yours, the smooth head grinding over your pussy—all of it is making your thoughts swirl like your brains are sloshing around in your head, and not just because of the alcohol.

“Fuck,” Keigo purrs, ducking forward to bite the shell of your ear and then running a soothing tongue over it. “Fuck, baby, you like that? Is that virgin pussy getting all wet on my dick? You’re twitching, I can feel you…”

“…Mmph, ah, I, I—please—” You can’t really talk, not when he’s knocking the breath out of you with every thrust. But you need more. It’s not fair, having to make do with the uncontrolled jerks of his cock over your upper thighs and the outside of your pussy. He’s fucking you like he couldn’t care less about whether you get to cum—which, if you had the ability to think about it, he probably doesn’t. Certainly not as much as he cares about your soft, lubed-up skin squeezing so deliciously on his cock.

You grind your hips down a little, sticking your ass back toward him to get a better angle and—ugh, ugh it works, the pressure on your clit increases, and you keen desperately, begging him to fuck your thighs faster harder deeper. He yanks on your hair, snapping your head back so your whimper chokes up into a squeal, and—god, are you imagining it?—but you swear you feel the stiff length of his cock throb in between your legs with the head nudging on your belly.

“Uhnn…baby, baby, baby,” Keigo chants in your ear. His voice is heavier and jagged with the puffs of breath that are coming out in time with the roll of his hips into yours. It sounds…needy, almost. “G-Good girl, keep those legs tight, just—just like that…my good little sweetheart, angel, virgin. Gonna make me cum? Yeah? Make me cum with these pretty fucking thighs?”

“—Keigo, I’m—mm!” You can’t say it, even the thought of announcing you’re cumming like some kind of pornstar makes you cringe, but even if you don’t say it, there’s no way he doesn’t feel the electric shock that passes through you, sending tremors through your body.

You’re crying out, loud, louder than the music downstairs maybe (or at least it feels like it). There’s nothing you can grip for purchase so one hand just scrabbles against the bare expanse of the wall while you curl the other into a fist and dig your fingernails into your palms.

Fuck, is it the alcohol? Is it the liquor that’s making it feel like this, so overwhelming and heady you don’t even know where you are? You vaguely try to remember how you got here (something about blond hair, an easy laugh, and sugar-sweet liquid coating your tongue), but it’s not important, who fucking cares when the cock pistoning between your thighs is still rubbing up on your clit, still stimulating you, still sending sparks of heat up through your spine and making it impossible for you to breathe without moaning, much less think.

“Keigo…Keigo I came, please ahh—it, it hurts,” you whimper, trying to shift your hips up off his cock to relieve the pressure on your sensitive clit—but he won’t let you.

Keigo’s grip on your ass digs in deeper, harder so he’s probably leaving bruises, and the hand in your hair pulls your head back toward his. His voice is a growl, so low and scratchy that it sends a chill up through your body. “Don’t move. Don’t you—don’t you fucking move. Stay right fucking there.”

It scares you.

It scares you, but his dick is rocking over your pussy, making you crazy, making you lose your grip on whatever other physical sensations you can still feel. You’re limp except for your thighs pressed into one another as tightly as you can manage, letting Keigo hold you up. It doesn’t hurt, not really—but it’s horrible, it’s too much, it’s like you’re trapped on the edge, cumming and cumming and cumming and cumming while you squeal like you’re being tortured, and you are, you are, you are, you are—

—it's torture.

But not pain. It doesn’t hurt. It’s mind-bending, oppressive, awful, you want it to stop but—oh god oh god—you’re helpless and you don’t get to make it stop, you don’t get to make that decision, it’s up to him. He decides, Keigo decides, and Keigo decides to keep fucking into your thighs, keep spreading your pussy lips apart and teasing your clit, so you just roll your head back and stop trying to convince yourself it doesn’t feel incredible.

You barely notice him speeding up—you probably wouldn’t notice at all if you couldn’t hear the beat of your moans, paced in time with his body slamming yours against the wall, increasing in frequency. He releases your hair (you swear you can feel blood rush back into your head when you’re finally able to lean forward) and his hands go back to your hips, guiding you to rock yourself back on him so his last few rabid thrusts finish with the head of his cock rubbing firmly against your stomach.

“Ugh, goddamnit fuck, baby, yesss, stay still, stay right there,” Keigo groans, and you’re so blissed out from the overstimulation that you barely even feel the twitching of his cock between your legs and the spurt of thick, hot liquid on your stomach.

Oh.

Oh god.

When Keigo finally picks his hands off their bruising grip on your ass, you drop directly onto the bed, barely remembering at the last second to roll over onto your back so his semen (his semen, which is spread over your lower belly like a Jackson Pollock painting) doesn’t stain his sheets.

You stare at the ceiling and what do you know, there is a ceiling fan, blades spinning in lazy circles that make you sick when you try to follow them. So you close your eyes.

What are you feeling? What are you supposed to be feeling?

Anger, probably. Fear? Well, you won’t deny that there are hints of both of those emotions swimming underneath the hazy surface of your drunken psyche, but they’re overshadowed by what you’re really feeling, which is relief, relief that the stimulation is over, relief that it felt good, relief. And—since you’re too out of it to stop yourself from admitting it—satisfaction.

There’s a rustling, paper slipping against paper, and then you can feel Keigo wiping his cum off your bare stomach with a tissue and then dabbing at the smears of wetness between your legs. When he’s satisfied that you’re clean, the bed creaks as he lays down next to you. He’s panting.

Reluctantly you open your eyes and roll onto your side, propping yourself up on an elbow so you can look down at him: golden hair spread out in a halo around his head, pale lashes and brows, a healthy glow of sweat over his forehead. You hadn’t seen it before, but there’s a tattoo curling over his biceps from where it must originate on his back—red feathers, wings, inked permanently into his skin.

Angel, Keigo called you earlier. But really, between the two of you…he’s the angel. In appearance, if nothing else.

His eyes drift open and the corner of his mouth tilts up, pleased to see you inspecting him. “How was that? Did you have fun being naughty?”

You and him both know exactly how much fun you had, and if you said it you’d just be stroking his ego. “You’re not a good guy, are you,” you say instead.

“Never said I was.”

“Then why didn’t you…have sex with me? For real?” you ask after a beat. The question’s been weighing on you.

“Don’t tell me you’re complaining.” A hand comes up to comb through your mussed hair unhurriedly.

“I’m not…” You still want to know, though.

“Mmm…baby. You didn’t want this to be your first time. Believe me, you’re not supposed to lose your virginity to a guy like me. No—don’t pout, come on. Your first time is supposed to be, like, soft and special and romantic, right?”

The girl you were one month ago, before you moved away from your hometown to come to college, she would have agreed. But you’re not that girl. You’ve been to your first college frat party, you’ve had your first drink and your first shot, you’ve kissed a stranger and you’ve done…sexual things with a man for the first time. And you’re okay with it. So you roll your eyes. “I’m not some fourteen-year-old drawing hearts in my notebook. I don’t need soft,” you tell him, hoping you sound bold and sarcastic.

Keigo chuckles and pats you on the head. “Don’t knock soft fucking, it’s got a time and a place like everything. I just couldn’t do it. Not when I saw you sitting there looking so lonely—you were like, hmm…like a rabbit in a den of wolves. You looked delicious.”

Oh god, you’re blushing again. This isn’t good for the nonchalant cool girl persona you’re trying to cultivate for yourself.

He cups your chin and runs his thumb over your lower lip. “I don’t think I could’ve been soft with you if I tried.”

A sharp rap on the door has both of you tensing, and Keigo only has a second to yank a blanket up from the foot of the bed over your naked bodies before the door is slammed open so hard that it bangs against the adjacent wall. “Jesus, get the fuck out!” he barks to the intruder, and it’s weird to hear the authoritative note in his voice reminding you that within this house, he’s someone who commands respect.

You tuck your face into Keigo’s chest and hope wildly that the person who just walked in 1) didn’t see anything and 2) isn’t the friend who brought you to the party, because if word gets around that you’re the girl who ‘slept’ with an older frat boy at the first party of freshman year, you’ll never live it down. Regardless of your own sexual liberation or whatever, you’re well aware that this isn’t the kind of reputation you want to start your college career out with.

“Sorry Kei! But we need you downstairs, we’re out of alc and the music stopped and no one knows how to fix the speakers!” the brother says, shielding his eyes with his hand, but he doesn’t leave the room. At least it’s not your friend—you breathe a sigh of relief and Keigo automatically smooths a hand down the back of your head in response.

“I’m kind of busy,” he seethes, and—you’ve gotta admit, there’s something marginally funny about seeing him caught off guard like this. You bite down on a laugh and he looks at you curiously, one thick eyebrow quirked.

“I’m really sorry, man, but the President said you’ll be on puke clean-up duty tomorrow if you don’t get your ass down there. His words, not mine.”

“Tomura, of-fucking-course…shitty incel has it out for me…” Keigo curses under his breath. “Give me five minutes.”

As soon as the door is closed, you’ve got your feet on the floor, groping around the discarded articles of clothing for your dress. You smooth down your hair with your hands and hope you look like any other tipsy freshman instead of a girl who just got pseudo-fucked. Keigo winks at you and taps his cheeks under his eyes; you take the hint and wipe away the smudges of mascara and eyeliner that migrated out of place during your…activities.

Your phone is safely in the pocket of your dress and you’re all but ready to leave the room (hopefully there won’t be anyone in the hallway to see you) when Keigo, still pulling on his pants, tugs you back by your wrist.

“Hey,” he says.

“Hey,” you reply uncertainly.

“Aren’t you going to give me your number?”

What? Really? You’ve heard plenty about how frat guys like him operate, and nothing Keigo’s done (except the whole ‘no penetrative sex’ thing) has led you to believe he doesn’t fit the stereotype. And the stereotype doesn’t involve sleeping with the same girl twice, especially if that girl is an awkward freshman who is apparently too innocent for him to get his dick wet with. “What do you want my number for?” you ask.

“Do I have to spell it out to you?” Keigo’s fingers lace with yours and you stumble forward into him so he can kiss you.

It’s light, chaste even, but it’s not fair because he knows, of course he knows—a kiss like that is going to leave you wanting more. “Yes,” you tell him, just to be contrary.

Keigo laughs again, and you do your best to memorize the sound of it. “It’s so the next time you decide you want to be a bad girl…you know where to find me.”

[beyondspaceandstars]

Renegade

Relationship: Din Djarin x Reader Warnings: N/A Summary: [based off the song Renegade by Big Red Machine feat. Taylor Swift] You're a shopkeeper in a remote corner of the galaxy just trying to get by. For some reason, every now and then a certain Mandalorian pops into town. He comes and goes as he pleases until one day you finally get the courage to confront him on his drifter habits. Unexpected confessions spill out. A/N: I haven’t written something for The Mandalorian in a long time but i just had this idea for a while and i wanted to actually try to execute it. Idk if this came out good but i think it’s still sweet. I hope someone enjoys it :)

Masterlist

You never knew when he was coming into town.

It would happen pretty much in the blink of an eye. You’d shut down your store for the day, retire to your home, then he’d be there, in the middle of the village, bright and early. The Mandalorian kept no schedule it seemed but his surprise visits were always welcomed by you. 

He’d make it a point to stop at your store first. He never really bought anything, just browsed the fabric and clothing you had to offer. The Mandalorian seemed to appreciate your craftsmanship, always taking time on his stay to ask about your newer items or what your plans were for your next collection. Your shop was modest but it helped bring in some kind of income which was very valuable as the fate of the galaxy hung in limbo.

You built up some kind of rapport with the masked man but feelings have been shifting within you for a while. You didn’t really understand how it was possible. You had begun falling for a man that never even gave you the courtesy of saying goodbye. But at the same time, the hours you would spend chatting meant everything to you. It felt so good to confide in someone as a life as a solo storekeeper could be quite a lonely one. He also seemed to be no stranger to loneliness as a man roaming the galaxy, taking odd bounty jobs. Nowhere to really call his own. 

A deep, deep part of you wished he would call this village his home. He seemed to enjoy it here, evident by his numerous stops. When he’d come and go from your shop, he was always bringing back new treasures. The woman down the road would be testing a new stew recipe or the jewelry maker at the end of the block had talked him into buying something. Most of the time, he’d just give the items to you, claiming he couldn’t resist the shopkeeper but had no use for the trinkets. The pseudo-gift giving was a little ridiculous to you but it couldn’t help but fuel your burning crush. You always accepted and wore whatever the Mandalorian presented. 

Yes, you two definitely had formed a relationship over time. You didn’t know really what to call it and you two never seemed to want to speak about it but it was no secret that it was there, and you were a bit thankful for it. No matter where he had gone or how long he had left for, you were always there to welcome him back to the village with open arms.

As many times before, the Mandalorian arrived unexpectedly one beautiful, clear morning. He was hovering around your shop, seemingly waiting. His armor shined so loudly in the daylight, it was nearly blinding, but you appreciated how powerful he was. He may show you his soft side in the village but you’d heard plenty about his hunts. If the truth was even half as alarming as the gossip, you were impressed he could have such a gentle side. 

“You’re early,” you called out, pulling your shawl tighter around you as you walked towards the passing bounty hunter. He stopped dead in his tracks upon hearing your voice. 

“It would appear I am,” he said, letting out a breathy laugh. “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize the time.”

You came to stop right in front of him. You peered up at his helmeted face. You certainly couldn’t see anything through that insane gear but some part of you still felt him staring into your eyes, deeply. Instinctively, you fiddled with the necklace resting on your lower neck. The charm was a piece of some dark crystal. You didn’t know what it was and you were slightly too nervous to inquire the jewelry maker about it but the Mandalorian standing before you had given it to you the last time he was here. He simply said he thought it would look nicer on you. You didn’t ask anymore.

“It’s alright,” you smiled. “I’m just glad to see you back here in one piece.”

He seemed a bit taken back by that. You worried you had overstepped the boundary between flirting and kindness but then he tilted his head, curiously. “Yeah?”

Oh, you felt yourself blushing a bit. You ducked your head and stepped around him, beginning to work on the lock of your shop. 

“Yeah,” you shrugged and opened the door. The Mandalorian followed closely behind. “I’ve heard your work can be demanding. Lots of opportunities for you to get hurt.”

“Does that worry you?”

You stopped in front of the pile of new fabrics you had just woven. You sighed. “I’ve come to think of us as a little bit more than acquaintances. It’s normal to worry about others.”

You swore you heard him let out a low chuckle at that but he didn’t acknowledge it. Or your statement. You chose to do the same. You walked around to the counter and began prepping the logbooks for the day. The Mandalorian continued to hang around, gaze and hands roaming the new pieces you had set up last night. You were hoping this new collection you were previewing was going to bring in some hefty credits. Maybe allow you to take a holiday.

The Mandalorian broke the tense silence with the most unexpected comment. “I worry about you too, you know.” 

Your finger stopped abruptly as it scanned your list of sales for the week. When you had offered your care, you had never expected it back. You two technically weren’t on that level, at least not verbally. In other formats of gift-giving and worried looks, it was a different story. 

“You worry about me?” You inquired, brows raised in surprise. 

He gave a very Mandalorian-like shrug, his gaze still fixated on your for-sale items. Something in you was crushed when it looked like you weren’t getting any more from him. Maybe he’d disappear tonight, embarrassed by this exchange. But then by some miracle, he spoke again.

“Of course,” he said it like it was so obvious. “You’re a very kind shopowner living out in this village alone. This galaxy, no matter what corner you hide in, can be dangerous.”

You smiled to yourself. “I’ve done this for many years, Mandalorian. I think I will be alright.”

He hummed in acknwoeldgement. “I’m sure,” he mumbled. “But can you blame me for having concerns?”

This conversation sure was going to a funny place, you thought, but you were along for the ride. If he was going to talk about concerns, you could for sure rattle off yours. He was worried about your safety in this little village while you worried for his health. It cannot be good for a human, assuming he was human under all that gear, to be wandering the galaxy with no rhyme or reason besides the bounties strung about this galaxy. You never thought you’d express these things to him but the Mandalorian appeared to be a talkative one today. And you felt you two were beyond strangers. 

“Well, I’m flattered you think of me,” you admitted. “But I fear it’s you who faces more dangers than me.”

The helmeted man gave a little scoff at that comment. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

Sure, you didn’t doubt that, but that wasn’t what was on your mind. “I’m not talking about bounty hunting. I’m talking about your habit of being a drifter.”

The words didn’t feel very impactful in your brain but when they hit the open shop it was like you had dropped a bomb. The Mandalorian stilled, his gloved hand letting go of one of the scarves you had laying on a table. He began making his way suddenly towards where you still stood behind the counter. You frowned.

“A drifter?”

His eye gaze wasn’t seen but it was sure felt. You shrugged. “I’m not a fool. I know you bounce around from planet to planet throughout this galaxy. Maker knows why you keep coming back here but... I just worry you don’t have a home-,”

“I don’t,” he confirmed. Your heart all about stopped. Well, you didn’t exactly want to be right.

“Oh,” you said, averting your eyes to the wood counter. “And that doesn’t bother you? You must want someone waiting for you. Someone to just spend...moments with.”

“Don’t I have you?”

The question hung in the air between you two like a heavy pendulum. You couldn’t believe what you were hearing. He… He thought of you like that? Of this village? But why would he… Oh, but didn’t it make some kind of sense? The reappearing? The coming and going… He waltzed in and tried to get to know everyone. Got to know you.

Your head was a jumbled mess, so much so the only thing you could get out was a soft, “Me?”

The Mandalorian nodded. He wasn’t looking anywhere near you, finding such interest in the wall of your shop. But you noted his stiff stance. Maybe he hadn’t meant to say that… Except he had. And now it was out there. Something in the mysterious bounty hunter made him let out such a grand confession.

“Yes,” he eventually confirmed. “You. This village. I have that. I have this to come back to.”

With thoughts swimming violently, you had to ask, “But why don’t you stay?”

“I have jobs to do.” He almost sounded offended you had asked that. You shook your head.

“N-No, I mean… Get a place for yourself. You’re always sleeping on that ship. Maybe accept the invites to dinners the sweet lady down the path invites you to. Or you and I could…” Your words faded fast, slightly scared of what was going to slip out. But the Mandalorian wasn’t letting it go.

He turned his gaze back to you. “We could what?”

“S-Spend time together or something,” you mumbled. Real smooth, you thought. Just the perfect way to flirt. You expected him to now be so offended, maybe even storm out such a suggestion, but the armored man didn’t move. Instead, he cocked his head, curious.

“You’d want to do that?”

You sighed. “I want you to start a life somewhere. Really start it. Drifting around this galaxy cannot be very promising. You deserve this. You deserve a home, Mando.”

“Din.”

Your brows furrowed. Now it was your turn to be curious. “What?”

“My name is Din,” he explained. “You don’t have to call me Mando.”

If a heart could sing, yours would be a full chorus. He finally told you his name. After collecting jewelry and stories, he had finally opened somewhat to you. That was a good sign, a great sign. 

“Din,” you said, testing the name. It rolled off your lips easily. “We’d love to have you around.” A beat. “I’d love it, especially.” It was a bold declaration but he had given you something, the least you could do was make your intentions more obvious.

“Thank you,” Din said. 

“Of course,” you shrugged. “We all need to find the place where we belong.”

Din let out a bit of a chuckle. You frowned at that.

“You think I belong here?” He asked, amused. 

You didn’t like that he wasn’t taking you seriously but it would be okay. Just gave you more of a reason to show him everything this place had to offer. From the nice shopkeepers to the lovely food. This would be some kind of home for him or at least a place where he’d always be welcomed. Your heart fluttered at the idea of him leaving less, maybe even never leaving. He could train people on fighting or - or… 

You had to stop yourself as your brain was getting beyond reality. You shot the Mandalorian a smile.

“I think you’ve always belonged.”

[yamagucji]

Prank gone wrong pt.II

request: “Hello! I hope that you are having a good day! I’m not sure if you take requests or not, but if you do, I saw the one fic you wrote called Prank Gone Wrong, and I thought it was amazing! Could you maybe do that for Karasuno & Shiratorizawa? Please & thank you” - anon

synopsis: the boys prank their young/sweet manager and it goes wrong

a/n: first one ft. seijoh and nekoma found here. also, someone rq inarizaki + shira for this but idk if i’m familiar with inarizaki atm so if u see this bby im sorry :(

Karasuno

daichi and shimizu were not in the picture bc they’d get their butts handed to them if they knew🤩 but the other boys seemed convinced enough to do it

so how do they pull this off?

easy- they told everyone that during practice they could interact with shimizu but not you

so practice comes along and you’re CONFUSED, bc why aren’t they responding to you? :(

you try and tend to them anyway, because maybe they’re just exhausted? it’s a hot day after all

pls🥺 you try and hand them their bottles but they’ll either take it while not looking at you or completely ignore you, going to shimizu instead

they think it’s going smoothly until tsukki comes along to step on the limit

“uh-oh, wouldn’t want to get cooties from you”

he says this as you offer a towel to him and immediately your body just deflates, sinks

“i’m sorry tsukishima... i’ll- i’ll go wash my hands now” but really that was just your excuse to get away

i just KNOW shimizu will glare at the boys before running off to find you

have you ever seen daichi truly infuriated?? well you have now

“tsukishima! what the hell was that for? and to the rest of you, i’ve noticed you ignored y/n but i thought nothing of it until...” he’s going on a rant now yes they get a beating too

anyway, shimizu will bring you back once you’ve calmed down to resolve the conflict (aka to calm daichi down)

shimizu: “that was really immature of you boys. what do you have to say?” god is truly a woman and that’s shimizu senpai

the boys in question: 😔😞😞😔😔

please be prepared to receive a series of apologies and a very blushy, embarrased, shameful but doesn’t wanna admit it- tsukki

daichi makes them do hard drills for the rest of the week, while the boys try and make it up to you

you’ll definitely get a handful of treats throughout the day like: milk, pork buns, candy, and of course, strawberry shortcake from tsukki

noya and tanaka on the ground with tears in their eyes: “please y/n-chan! let us make it up to you!!”

fkdjhs don’t tease them about what happened because they’ll drown in shame again and cry about hurting their dear manager

you can tease tsukki tho- he can’t revoke your teasing privileges anyway😖

Shiratorizawa

i honestly think that they’re either not immature enough OR there are too many mature boys to let the team pull such a prank on their sweet manager (ahem ushi and reon)

fyi this is gonna take another turn

so, they don’t happen to ignore you intentionally, but a crazed fan is willing to go about their ways to take the team’s attention

how? by asking to shadow you while you managed the team, and you being the kind manager you are, accepted

the girl was eager to tend to the boys, running up to grab the water bottles and the towels before you could

you figured, maybe she’s just excited? well, it’d be good to watch from the sidelines and let her experience what it’s like to be a manager. plus, she seems to be engaged in a conversation with ushi, so that’s good!! right...?

tendou, popping out of nowhere: “ohoh? you’re just going to let her take your job? she seems to be taking all their attention” yes tendou bby the guess monster 😌🤝

you just shake your head, dismissing his assumptions. but inside, you were becoming conscious of just how right it seemed to be

they did happen to ignore you but that wasn’t intentional... and surely the girl wouldn’t mean harm

just then, the girl points to your direction, and ushi turns to face you

is that— what’s with that scowl on his face??

he walks over to you, “y/n, is it true that you said she wasn’t fit to become our manager? why would you say that?”

say WHAT now 😀

the girl trails behind him, sends a glare to you, before breaking down in front of the whole team

“it’s true! i’ve been nothing but kind, why would they say such a thing?”

everyone’s eyes are on you and god it feels so suffocating. it’s not true, but how do you defend yourself when the girl is balling her eyes out?

honestly you want to break down yourself but you have to keep it together :( and tendou knows that all too well

tendou: “that’s such a good act you’ve done there. i know exactly what you’re trying to do. how dare you frame our sweet little manager?”

he really called her out 😳

tendou will shut her in no time, and he’s quick to explain to the coach and the rest of the team about the situation. he’s called the guess monster for a reason

of course, the girl is asked to leave😌

tendou: “i heard her gossiping about y/n a few days ago. honestly, why would someone go through all the trouble to hate on someone?”

ushi: “ah, i see. y/n, i apologize if i doubted you”

the rest of the team: we’re sorry we let that happen :((

n e way, the boys are definitely gonna be on the look out for anything or anyone that’ll harm you

ushi will offer to walk you to places, as well as bby goshiki

i know tendou, shirabu, and semi are probably gonna try and show that girl her place gkfjshs

[cdroloisms]

Hello, idk if you’ll see this, nor do you have to take this request. But I’ve been thinking, and thought up: Dream joined the egg, but not because it offered him world domination or a happy family or any of that; no it offered to treat him kindly, to be affectionate, to be a friend, basically offering him human decency. (With an add on of everyone believing it was for some big reason, but the actual reason gets revealed somehow) if that made any sense. (Idk if this counts as an au or not)

[ask: if dream showed up to the red banquet, that would be very sexy of the writers to make him join the eggpire instead of the pro-omlette]

hehe egg!dream has so much potential ,, this is a ficlet i’ve been working on for a while (writer’s block my detested) but i finally finished it up !! it’s a bit unpolished but oh well - they cant all be winners lmao 

tw: body horror, blood, injuries, implied torture/abuse, starvation, possession, dark/disturbing imagery, dark content, pandora’s vault/prison arc 

Dream gets corrupted by the Egg, because of course he does.

Sapnap trudges through the vine-filled hallway, his face bundled firmly with a holy-water soaked bandana to keep out the worst of the spores. It’s a shoddy defense, but he doesn’t plan to stay long; he’s only been sent on reconnaissance, to see what public enemy number one is planning and get out as quickly as he can. As much as the entire server wants Dream dead, trying to defeat the man the first time was enough of a feat, never mind with the power of a giant demon egg on his side - to try and fight him now would be practically impossible.

The floor squishes underneath his boots, and his lips curl in disgust; the vines are thick and moist and feel ugly and rotten to the core. He can’t imagine anyone being anything but repulsed by the things, but he guesses it makes sense for Dream to be drawn here - corruption attracts corruption, it seems. It only figures that Dream would be desperate enough for power to let himself get possessed by the living - if you could really call it living - embodiment of decay and deterioration itself. The feeling of the floor giving way underneath his footsteps has another wave of revulsion crawling up his throat, though he’s not sure if it’s directed towards the Egg or his former friend or both.

He reaches the end of the hallway, an itching, pulsing feeling of wrong filling the air in the room just beyond the haphazard archway carved into the stone. With careful hands, Sapnap draws the bandana further up his face, making sure that it is tied securely behind his head - just beyond this wall lies the belly of the beast, the heart of the rot slowly but surely spreading its influence over the entire server. Something hums in the air; whispering, otherworldly sounds pierce through his armor and settle beneath his skin; he pushes on. He knows better than to listen, to try and make sense of the words within the noise - from what he’s heard, by the time you understand what it is saying, it’s too late.

He steps inside; the room feels, for the lack of a better word, red. He’s better suited for the place than most, being a Netherborn and therefore more used to the oppressive heat and heaviness of the air, but there’s something undeniably wrong about how this place feels, something entirely Other having made its home in the room. Every inch of the place feels hostile, angry, hungry, recognizing him as someone foreign and wanting nothing more than his destruction. Unlike the Red Forests, which teemed with life - piglins and hoglins and giant fungus - this room is little more than a twisted mimicry, sucking the air dry, leaving little more than husks behind.

His hand immediately goes to his sword, drawing it with a dull, metallic scrape. The room is eerily silent save for the Egg’s hissing whispers, and he frowns; he’d expected an attack, but the room is still, quiet; a mockery of peace that only makes the uneasy feeling in his gut grow further. He trudges forward, watching against the puddles of lava and smoking magma scattered over the floor, but nothing stirs.

There’s a growing pressure against his skull with each step into the room, and his hand tightens on his communicator; they’d set up a stasis chamber, just in case things went south, his way out of this place only a few button presses away. Still, nothing moves; no Bad or Ant popping out of nowhere, weapons in hand, no Dream driving an axe between his shoulder blades as he’s done so many times before in their spars. There’s only the sound of his footsteps against the rotting growths on the floor and his own heartbeat thudding in his ears and the Egg’s warbling voice, beneath it all - beckoning, almost kind.

He swallows, throat dry, and moves forward.

His feet carry him to the back corner of the room, to the rotting, pulsing core of the wrongness plaguing the entire server. Even through his bandana, the air feels foreign, nearly choking him, and he strains his eyes against the glare of the lava to look up at the vines’ rancid heart, the Egg. Up close, it’s almost underwhelming, only about three times his height, hardly coming halfway up to the ceiling of the room. What it doesn’t have in size, however, it makes up in sheer presence; the hissing whispers in his head grow louder, crawling under his skin and between his bones, and he curses under his breath as he prepares to call for his way back. Dream isn’t here; the mission is a bust.

“Sapnap?”

He freezes.

It takes a moment to realize that the voice wasn’t in his head, as raspy and unsettling as it was, and his eyes traced the edges of the Egg to a dull colored shape at its side, completely overlooked in his initial sweep of the room. He watches, a dull horror rising in his chest, as the shape moves, twists around on itself in an entirely unnatural way like a marionette pulled by its strings. A pale dot rises from where it had been hidden against the bright red of the Egg; it’s a face, Dream’s face, covered in clawing vines, stark against the bone-white of his sun-starved skin, vomit racing up his throat at the sight of the vines having made their homes in jagged wounds all over his face and neck and disappearing into the torn scraps of his prison uniform, each one spilling crimson in the form of writhing vines and thorns instead of blood.

“Sapnap,” Dream says again, his mouth moving with the words but something entirely other having made its home in the air of his lungs, a shivering rasp to his voice that lifts and falls with the same desperate hunger that saturates every tainted inch of the room. His neck tips to the side, shifted over by a twisting vine tangled within his hair and wrapping a crown of blood-red thorns over his forehead, tendrils drooping over his face and framing the gaunt edges. “You came.”

“Dream-” the anger comes back, familiar, at the other’s words - the same red-hot rage that had boiled within him in that first and only prison visit (you took so long) but it dissipates as fast as it comes. Dream - if this remnant, this shade, this corrupted, mangled half that seems more corruption than human can even be called the name of one he had once considered his best friend, his brother - stumbles closer, held up by the vines that twist over his shaking legs, one having the pale, ragged edge of a bone clearly having ripped through skin - and Sapnap does throw up, this time, dragging the bandana from his face and heaving bile all over the floor.

“What happened-” he cries, flames licking up his arms in defense when his friend-turned-monster-turned-this steps closer on a wreck of a leg that should not be able to bear weight, stumbles back to a roaring in his ears-

He is mine he came broken came shattered and I gave him everything I gave him his heart’s desire I am his savior his grace he asked for warmth and he asked for comfort and he asked for nothing but for someone to take his pain and he is mine he is mine he is mine

He freezes, hand tightening over his communicator; Dream stares at him with the one dull-green eye not covered by the vines splayed over his too-pale face, mouth moving but no sound coming out. The roaring, angry sound in Sapnap’s ears grows louder, follows the shape of Dream’s lips come join your friend come with me I will give him to you you have failed him once but not again not again he is mine but you can be mine also and you will be together together together

“-pnap! Sapnap!” Puffy’s words crackle over the communicator, harsh and loud and snapping him out of his thoughts, “Pull the switch, Sam! No, he’s not responding- pull the switch-”

The world dips, and he heaves in a shattered breath, lungs finally full as he breathes in clear air for the first time in what feels like an eternity, hacking coughs pulled from his throat as he tears the bandana off in one sputtering gasp for breath.

“Sap- Sapnap,” Sam pitches his voice low, comforting, a hand rubbing up and down his back, but all Sapnap can see is the skeleton of a man held together by red thread, the life leached from his skin and leaving nothing left, he asked for nothing but for someone to take the pain and he is mine he is mine he is mine-

“Sapnap,” Puffy’s voice is tinny with concern, “What happened? You stopped responding and the time passed so we pulled the switch on the stasis chamber- are you alright? Did he attack you?”

“I-” -you have failed him once but not again not again you will be together- “I need a moment.”

He scrambles away, feet carrying him away from Church Prime, away from the Holy Land, away away away until he’s standing on the Community House roof, staring at his hands at this home, destroyed, this home, rebuilt, this home, empty and wrong and a shadow of house for a shadow of a man, a shadow of a friend found, a friend lost- and sobs.

What had he done?

[marshieee]

Could i request kuroo ushijima sakusa and msby bokuto when you come to their games but its a big game and you bring your kid(s) with you. (Maybe the kid(s) help bokuto with his emo mode or the kids help calm their dad down) idk i just thought this would be cute and fun for you to write

Also idk if you accept anons but if you do can i be midnight anon

Aahhhhh a father to children interaction i love that!❤️❤️ i still can’t believe I’m receiving request huhuhu😭❤️ OFCOURSE I ACCEPT ANONS! CHARACTER ANONS OR WHATEVER JUST COME TO ME!!!🥰 also this is gonna be their timeskip version so I’m gonna stick with kuroo’s timeskip profession if you don’t mind also i wanted to try to make this a little scenario just tell me if you want to make this as a hc. Sorry this took awhile.

When their kid(s) came to see them

Kuroo

“Man...”

Kuroo was watching schweiden alders game feeling nervous as he watch ushijima spikes the ball.

“Jeez he’s gonna break the ball at this point”

He was assigned to ask ushijima for a promotion video promoting a good sportsmanship and promoting the game just like what he did with hinata.

Normally he wouldn’t get this nervous but learning that ushijima is utsui takashi’s son changed his mood. Also knowing that ushijima would eventually become a professional volleyball player under Japan V. League soon.

“Like father like son huh”

Suddenly out of nowhere, even though the whole place was booming with cheers and claps he heard someone calling him.

“DADDY!!!”

He turned around and saw his ball of sunshine running towards him with you trailing behind.

“Baby!”

He kneels down and opened his arms waiting for his son to come to him. The toddler then dives into his fathers arms and started giggling, he stood up carrying his son.

“What brings you here buddy?”

“Mommy said she was going to watch a volleyball game and asked me if i wanna go”

“And you did”

“AND I DID”

As you finally reached them he gave you a cheeky smile, he kissed your cheeks since his son is there so kiss on the lips can wait.

“Hi kitten”

“Hello to you too kuroo-san”

“KUROO-SAN?”

You laughed but finally noticing his is kind of pale worried that he might be sick you gently cupped his face.

“Are you ok?”

He grabs your hand and give it a kiss, feeling that he is slowly calming down.

“Yeah”

But suddenly his son grabbed both of his cheeks and forcibly turned kuroo to face him.

“Y-Yes?”

“Daddy are you sick?”

“No buddy I’m fine”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m sure”

“Really?”

“Really”

“Okay”

“Hahaha...ok”

Still not convinced with his father’s word he gave kuroo a kiss on the cheeks and made up a little chant to make sure he’s ok.

“Thank you baby i feel a lot better now”

“What’s up with you anyways?”

“Well i was assigned to ask ushijima if he can make a promotion video with us”

“And? What’s wrong with that?”

“Recently i just discovered that ushijima is utsui takashi’s son”

“Wait really? The utsui takashi?”

“Yeah”

“Omygod”

“I know right?!”

Suddenly someone flung their arms around your shoulder, now that you noticed how close your face were with kuroo. The both of you looked at your son who is struggling to keep his arms around you since you’re a bit far, giggling you stepped closer, when he got comfortable, he took a deep breath and puts on a serious face.

“Who is utsui takashi?”

“Why is utsui takashi?”

“How is utsui takashi?”

You three fell silent for a good minute before bursting with laughter.

“Why are we even huddling anyways?”

You took your son out of kuroo’s arms and continued laughing with him. Kuroo watched both of his precious gems having fun, all smiles and that’s what he likes.

Ushijima

It was a big day today since it’s msby vs schweiden alders game.

He felt a excitement since he’s going to play against hinata shoyo again after those years. The fact that you told him you can’t come to his game today since you’re too busy and his daughter has a play date really saddens his mood. Boy just wants to flex sometimes you know.

Suddenly he heard a commotion outside their waiting room, he didn’t mind it at first but it gradually got a little louder so he decided to check it out. This man got confused over a commotion cause not only his teammates were there also the msby players were also there huddled in the middle of the hallway.

“What’s happening?”

They all turned around that made ushijima anxious because duh they were looking at him like he just killed someone then all of a sudden in the center of those giant players was a lovely little girl.

“PAPA!!!”

“Keiko?”

Fun fact: ushi named his daughter keiko that means “respected child”

Keiko runs up to her father and ushijima instantly scoops her up in his arms.

“Papa i’m here”

“But i thought keiko has a play date today?”

“Keiko said she wants to watch her papa play”

The boys gave way to you as you walked up to the both of them. Ushijima gave you a smile and pecks your lips.

“Hi mama”

“Hello honey”

Suddenly Kageyama appeared besides you and bowed.

“Hello y/n-san!”

“Oh my hello tobio-kun”

“TOBIO NII-CHAN!!”

“Hello keiko”

Hoshiumi then appeared behind ushijima and waved at little keiko.

“Hiii keiko-chan!”

“HOSHIUMI NII-CHAN!!”

“Hey keiko who do you think is the coolest?—“

“Papa!”

“No no not that—“

“But papa is the coolest for me”

“Besides your papa, me or hinata shoyo?”

Suddenly hinata pops out and caught keiko’s attention, ushijima had to hold her since she moved to the side to look at hinata. She stared at hinata making him nervous.

“SUNSHINE!!!”

They all got quiet when keiko shouted sunshine while giggling, hinata on the other hand was confused.

“Sunshine?”

“Shoyo nii-chan sunshine!”

Hinata blushed furiously after receiving a compliment from keiko, hoshiumi did not know what’s happening so he asked ushijima if he can carry keiko.

“Sure just be careful”

“I will i will”

Then they started to surround keiko again asking who’s the coolest to who’s the tallest and who’s the best etc. etc.

Ushijima watched as her baby girl was getting along with his teammates and other teams as well. You looked at ushijima who has a soft look, nudging him to the side.

“It looks like keiko is popular huh~”

“Yeah”

“Ah I wonder if she’s also popular at her daycare~”

Ushijima turned to look at you with a confused expression.

“Because if she is there’s probably a boy who likes her—“

“No”

“But what if when she goes home and told us about—“

“No”

“Aww keiko will have a prince—“

Ushijima grabbed both of your cheeks and kissed your nose, but he still looks frustrated after you put those thoughts in his head.

“Y/N no”

“Owkie~”

Sakusa

Today is a big day for the japan V league, the gymnasium was packed with fans and supporters for each team. You could see a lot of flags here and there, there’s also a huge group of people who would cheer for their teams.

A lot of camera has been clicking and taping since then. Fortunately for you, you got a good seat in front thanks for the sources you had, your little girl who’s sitting besides you is very excited to watch the game.

She begged you to have her face painted with a japan flag which you unfortunately did because you can’t say no to her sometimes, you gave her a fan with the japan’s team on it so she could wave it around and to fan herself of course.

The game has started and you cheered with your daughter, shouting and jumping whenever the japan team scores a point. Soon the game ended and it was the win of the japan team. You felt someone tug your shirt looking down you saw your daughter who was ready to go.

“Mommy let’s go! Let’s go!”

“Alright baby calm down we’re going”

You held her hands as you two walk towards the court, thankfully you two wore a pass around your neck or else.

When you arrived at the court a lot of people were there, paparazzi, reporters, few important peoples and all. You were trying to spot your husband among the crowd but your daughter found him first, she lets go of your hand and came dashing to wherever she found her father.

“AH BABY! WAIT!”

“DADDY!!”

Sakusa was having an interview with a reporter that time so he didn’t notice a little girl running towards him, when she got to where her daddy was she immediately hugged him.

The reporter was confused and panicking since a little girl suddenly interrupted their interview, they were glancing back and forgot to sakusa to the little girl when all of a sudden sakusa smiled and lifted her up.

“Where were we again?”

“Oh..um right uh, y-your thoughts about the game”

“Ah yes, they were a tough opponent that’s given it was really hard to go pass through their defense so it was nice when aran broke their defenses with one hard spike, overall it was a good game everyone did their best so that’s what matters”

“Right one last question um do you know this little girl?”

Sakusa looked at the ball of sunshine in his arms and smiled at her.

“Do you want to introduce yourself?”

The nodded enthusiastically at her father,

“Go on”

“Hello! My name is sakusa hayami! Nice to meet you!”

Fun fact:Sakusa named his daughter hayami which means “rare beauty”

The reporter was surprised and looked at sakusa who was smiling.

“She’s my daughter”

“Oh! Hello hayami-san nice to meet you too how old are you?”

“I’m...”

Hayami slowly extended her fingers and showed them,

“I’m five years old!”

“Wow! Anything you want to say abou your father?”

“Daddy?”

Sakusa then whispered to her.

“What do you want to say about daddy”

“MY DADDY IS AWESOME! HE’S SO STRONG WHEN HE POW THE BALL THEN WHEN THE BALL GO WHOOSH! THEN THEY CAN’T CATCH IT!”

She flings her arms in the air while explaining making the reporter giggle at her cuteness, sakusa then noticed you walking towards them, he gave you a smile and gestures you to come over.

“And here...”

He wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer to him.

“...is my lovely wife y/n”

You bow down and the reporter bow down also, they look at the three of you and smiled.

“What a lovely family”

“It is”

Sakusa turned to look at you and kissed you on your forehead.

“It is a lovely family”

Suddenly someone shouted at the background causing all of you to turn around.

“HAYAMI-CHAN!”

“UNCLE BOKUTO!”

“HI HAYAMI-CHAN!”

“UNCLE TSUMU”

Sakusa turned to look at the reporter with a frustrated face.

“It’s a lovely family not until they come around”

“Ah hahaha...”

When the interview ended hayami played with her uncles, sakusa held your hand.

“Did you enjoyed the game?”

“Yeah i did, Hayami also enjoyed the game”

“Really?”

“Yes really i had to stop her from shouting to much or she’ll hurt her throat”

“Hahahaha...i see”

He placed a soft kiss on your hand, you looked at him.

“Thank you”

“You’re welcome~”

Bokuto

You wanted to surprise bokuto so you didn’t tell him that you’ll be watching his game today all he knows is you’ll be at your friend’s house since they needed you with something and the kids were scheduled with a play date.

He didn’t mind of course but it’s still sad that his babies wouldn’t be there to watch him play but when you told him that you’ll be watching at the television he said that he’ll do his best.

Now that you’re here at the noisy gymnasium full of spectators who supports their favorite teams, other brought their own banner some joined a cheering team. The whole gymnasium was full of tension and excitement that infected both of your children as they were jumping and shouting that you have to sometimes cover their mouth or else they’ll hurt themselves.

“GOOOO DADDY!!!!”

“GO GO MSBY!!!”

Bokuto didn’t know that you three were there all he knows is to focus on the game and win. Since the whole area was full of cheer it’ll be hard for bokuto to hear his kids cheering for him.

As the game went on the msby team isn’t doing well they were five points behind and they needed to catch up or the numbers will pile up. You can tell your husband is getting frustrated since his spikes keeps getting blocked, unlike before he knows how to calm down and act rationally but the frustration is still there if this continues he will lose his focus.

You have to do something, you were thinking of ways to help your husband and then suddenly your kids started shouting even more.

“DADDY YOU CAN DO THIS!!!”

“DADDYYYY!!!!”

You guessed that they sensed that their daddy is having a tough time, then it came to you, it’s kind of dumb to bring this with you but you thought that you might need or someone might need it and it looks like you did. Tapping the shoulders of the shouting children they then looked at you.

“Kasuga, haruki...”

You named your little girl kasuga which means “spring day” while bokuto named his young man haruki which means “shining sun”

You gave them a thumbs up as they looked at you with a confused expression.

“...leave it to mommy”

You grabbed your bag and looked for the thing that you brought, you immediately pulled it out of the bag.

“What’s that?”

“It’s a megaphone”

Yes, you did brought a megaphone without any reason you just shoved it down and brought it.

“Mega-phone?”

“Uh huh you can talk here and it’ll make your voice suuuuper loud and I’m sure daddy will hear it!”

They were excited to use it since they know that their daddy will finally hear them, you started to turn on the megaphone and handed the it to them.

“You two hold it very still”

Haruki lets his sister hold the upper part of handle while he holds the lower part of it. You made sure that it was on and loud and clear.

“Ok now you two go in front right, there in the railings mommy will be right beside you”

You don’t want other people burts their damn eardrums when the twins shouts. They slowly and carefully walked down the stairs holding on the megaphone on their hands. When you arrived at the bottom, the twins looked at you as you gave them your signal.

“Ok on the count of three...one...two...three!”

They took a deep breath and cheered.

“DADDYYYYYY DO YOUR BESTTTT!! YOU CAN DO THISSSS!!! GOOO FIGHTTTTT!!!”

If it’s just one of them it wouldn’t really attract a lot of people but since there’s two of them I’m sure there’s a lot of people who’s looking at the three of you. You blushed a little but didn’t stop the twins since you’re a supportive mother and wife.

Bokuto heard their screams, at first he thought he was hallucinating but when hinata turned around and started to wave at them.

“KASUGA-CHAN! HARUKI-CHAN!!”

“Kasuga...haruki...”

He finally turned around and saw his two bundle of joy waving at him and right beside them was you who looks flustered but still waving at him. He felt all of his frustrations fading away by just looking at the three of you all smiles for him, so he raised both of his arms and smiled.

“HEY HEY HEY!!!”

The twins immediately handed you the megaphone and copied their father’s actions.

“HEY HEY HEY!!!” “HEY HEY HEY!!!”

Bokuto turned to look at you, you blowed him a kiss to which he blows you one back. Feeling a lot better he tapped both sakusa and hinata’s back.

“LET’S WIN THIS!”

Bonus:

Atsumu watched bokuto’s with his lovely family and felt extremely jealous on how the two of you blowing kisses to each other.

“How come bokuto has two cute children and a beautiful wife”

Grumbling at himself he turned to look for a camera who’s recording live on television but since there’s a alot he just shouted.

“SAMU IF I WIN THIS YA BETTER GIVE ME A FREE ONIGIRI YA JERK!”

Fortunately that was caught on cam and fortunately for him too osamu was watching live on his phone.

“THEN WIN YA DUMBASS!!!!”