#idk that i wholly agree with this

[itspileofgoodthings]

I am the first to point out that, of the two leads in P&P, Lizzy’s is the far deeper moral transformation and to say that Darcy’s character especially re: his flaws is wildly misunderstood and frequently painted out worse than he is out of fear of his particular kind of power. All of that said, I do love that Lizzy is just like “no, the way you treat me isn’t good enough and I will not simply accept it”

[fatkish]

Hi!! 🐶 anon here. Was wondering if I could request a sort-of sequel to the last fic I requested? Like the reader after being rescued by him has separation anxiety from him and their therapist recommended for now reader stays close by him, so he’s taking a break from hero work, but for teaching he just brings reader along? So basically 1-a seeing reader being clingy and stuff with Aizawa. Maybe they experience a PTSD episode, idk. Just something like that! Take ur time with this request ^^;;

Aizawa x SA Victim Reader Part 2

After going to a therapist for a few months, the therapist decided that it would probably be best to slowly reintroduce you to social situations

Since Aizawa was the only person who you seemed to trust wholly and entirely, your therapist suggested that he work with you

The first few activities were simple enough

A walk in the park, literally, you both held hands or stuck together as you spent an hour in the public space

The next was a picnic in the park, Aizawa had made Bentos for the both of you. They had chicken Katsu on top of fried rice and for sides he put stir fired vegetables and some seaweed wrapped tamagoyaki. He brought a blanket with you guys as well as drinks and you both sat together and ate your lunches

Plenty of women would giggle seeing such a cute seen of a father and daughter

After a couple of these outages your therapist suggested slightly more densely populated areas

So your next adventure was grocery shopping with Aizawa. He promised you that you didn’t need to worry or feel paranoid because he’d be watching your back

You were slightly anxious when walking down aisles that other people were in but you simply held Aizawa’s hand and persevered

After each outing Aizawa would give you a soft smile and tell you how well you did and how he’s so proud of you

If you panic or freak out, he’ll pick you up and have you focus on him, and tell you that you’re safe because you’re with him and he won’t let anything hurt you

During one of the grocery trips, a kind old lady remarked about how cute it was seeing a little girl with her dad

After giving you a compliment the old lady offered you a candy to which you looked at Aizawa to see if it was okay. He smiled and gently nudged you forward and you accepted it and thanked the lady.

After a few more outings at places like grocery stores, restaurants, the mall basically just any place where people are closer together, and after having a few interactions with people, your therapist thought it was time to focus on social interactions

For this, Aizawa begrudgingly agreed to getting you a service/guard dog. Basically the dog would stay at your side and alert to any potential threats and lead you away. If you had a panic attack, the dog would sit or lay on you and help ground you. If someone tried to attack you, there were specific words in a foreign language that would tell the dog to attack

Now that you had this dog, Aizawa decided it was time he returned to teaching

The first thing he did was introduce you to the teachers. Coincidentally, Vlad King had brought his bulldog in that day. You immediately warmed up to his dog and was somewhat okay with him since he kinda looked like his dog

Later you met Nedzu who you immediately had the urge to pet. Aizawa thought Nedzu would be mad when you pet his head and asked if he was Mickey Mouse’s cousin

Nedzu laughed and smiled not bothered at all by your curiosity, infact, Nedzu was more than happy to help teach you and satisfy your curious mind

After a few days getting to know the school, Aizawa decided to introduce you to his class

This is when things went south

Despite having warned his students (particularly a certain grape head) about your past and to be careful with their words, some obviously didn’t get the memo

Upon entering the class, many had greeted you which spooked you a bit

The first students you were comfortable with were Asui, Momo, Koda and Todoroki

Asui and Momo seemed very mellow and almost motherly in their calm and relaxed demeanors. Todoroki was quite and greeted you once but then seemingly ignored you which actually made you feel good because you felt that it meant he wouldn’t come after you. Koda was quite but your dog seemed to like him which is why you trusted him

The students had tried not to scare you but Iida, Bakugou, Ashido, Uraraka, Kirishima and Kaminari had spooked you

Ashido had practically jumped on you telling you how cute you were which scared you, Uraraka, and Iida were really loud which scared you. Kirishima didn’t really understand personal space to which Kaminari tried to tell him off, albeit, a bit loudly, which them prompted Bakugou to use his quirk setting off explosions and yelling at everyone to shut up cause they’re obviously scaring you

When the class went quiet it allowed for you to hear what Mineta had said

Of couse, he had to make a comment about how hot you’d look in a few years as he imagined you with a curvaceous body whilst making a lewd face and drooling

This triggered you

Bakugou immediately slammed his hand down on Mineta’s desk setting of small explosions and yelling at him

You started to hyperventilate and ran away to Nedzu’s office since he made you feel calm

When Nedzu saw your upset state he made you some tea and offered you some cookies while he asked you yes or no questions

Whilst Nedzu calmed you down and talked with you, Aizawa yelled at his students and decided that something had to be done with Mineta. Once he managed to get his class back under control, he was about to deal out punishments when the door opened with Nedzu in front and you behind him

You ran to Aizawa and he immediately wrapped his arms around you. Nedzu then walked into the room and nodded at Aizawa, giving him permission (read as kindly ordered him) to leave the room

As Aizawa cradled you and walked you to the teacher’s lounge to settle you down, Nedzu asked the class what happened and after lecturing them for 2 hours, Nedzu finished his lecture by Expelling Mineta and blacklisting him from any hero courses

That night, Aizawa made sure to have your favorite food for dinner and made sure that you felt safe and gave you all the cuddles you could ask for

(Hope you enjoyed this puppy 🐶 anon. And I hope it helps)

[bonefall]

Update + Reply Bundle

Heyo all, it's been a while with some radio static and I've got a bundle of bits to reply to here!

If you're wondering where I've been, it's actually that things got MEGA busy on my end. Between the new year, a small promotion at work, getting a license to operate an X-ray machine for extremities (i have no idea how this happened man i have an applied science degree in dead people), learning some Java, and making travel plans to visit my partner overseas, it's been hectic but good.

But I ain't gonna pay it no mind, because every 6 months in queensland a man is torn apart by a crocodile the Warrior Cats never stops. I have also been passively ruminating on the Family Tree and keeping up with checking the inbox. Before I get to ShadowClan and the Glitch Warriors, I'll tackle all the other things.

SO reply time;

Changing Skies Reactions (On Moonpaw's sister being stillborn, the ShellFern cheating situation, etc)

The Flipclaw/Myrtlebloom Family Tree Fix plumthrift is soooo back

Other Fun Stuff (Which character should be allowed to say fuck. Names I'd like to use in other Clans.)

(NOTE; not addressing anything submitted about BB!ASC just yet, I want to put all my plans together first)

CHANGING SKIES REACTIONS

My honest feeling is that they don't know what a chimera is, BUT, I'm actually glad about that.

I would 100% rather they go with having her be possessed by a dead stillborn rather than them making her rare, ultimately harmless genetic quirk "the reason" why she's haunted. The stillborn haunting is the sort of concept I've come to accept in the setting (though I do have my critiques and reservations about another Evil Voice plotline, especially given the shitshow that was Splashstar in the last book of ASC), but there are DEEP layers to how messed up the implication of "zygote souls" would be.

Others have been joining into the convo in the meanwhile, tho. In essence, I agree with @mothdapple's thoughts on the subject. I hope the voice isn't wholly evil, and I hope that the haunting doesn't stem from her chimerism.

I'm betting that she gets a weird shipping moment with one of her cousins tbh. Especially if she survives this arc and doesn't become a medcat. You just know they'll open up the next arc with her and Sunkit being mates with 400 babies if you ship her with a girl too hard lmaooo

@dawn-sunlight

MANNNNN. You CANNOT convince me that I'm not correct about this at this point. The first 4 times it might have been coincidence, but they seem to have pinpoint accuracy for sinking popular LGBT headcanons and hetconning straight romance into old material.

That's Riverstar, Blossomfall, Ivypool, Leopardstar, Onestar (they replaced a firestar scene man), and now Thriftear and Flipclaw in one fell swoop?

Not to mention how everyone was joking around about "Old Woman Yuri" with Tawnypelt and Leafstar and then BAM, Sudden Crowfeather.

Like idk. Watch Barley get a super edition called Barley's Boo where it's revealed he once fell in love with a beautiful BloodClan she-cat who he had to leave behind, until it's revealed she's in WarriorClan now, so he leaves the barn to get her pregnant before dying. And also she's his first cousin.

That's a joke but if Apollo hits me with the dodgeball I hope he kills me in 1 hit

THE FLIPCLAW/MYRTLEBLOOM FAMILY TREE FIX

thank god. This is actually an extremely easy fix for me, now. All the pre-emptive cleaning I've done for the BB!ThunderClan family tree has paid off.

I Don't Rewrite Arcs Until They're Done, BUT, I have discussed the previous options at length before and how I intend to fix it. If you're reading along but need to catch up on the convo and context, follow these links in order,

Summary and Intro: BB!ThunderClan and the Propositions (ShellFern, StormCherry, FlipBay, or PlumThrift)

Anon ShellFern argument

Anon StormCherry argument

Hypokit Moonpaw Designs for All Four Options

Phantom of the Opera FlipBay Moonpaw

StormCherry Voter who changed their mind for FlipBay or PlumThrift

All caught up? Nice.

PlumThrift is sooooo back. It's basically what they've shown in the first book of CS. Soccer moms and their weird ass kid who they're desperately pushing to be an overachiever LET'S GOO. The most likely thing that will happen is that Moonpaw is a PlumThrift kitten-- unless something big changes.

(Though I am a little bit saddened that I can't do the cool Phantom of the Opera mask thing which came from Bayshine... unless Moon was honor sired, of course. Or maybe adopted. Hmm...)

For Oakkit, Sunkit, and Hazelkit though, I'm leaning towards what anon mentioned. Their canon parents are Myrtlebloom/Flipclaw, so it would be very easy for me to change to FlipBay because of my pre-emptive fixes. It'll match canon, and I have also grown fond of the idea of the two silly dads.

(plus then it's extra easy to have Moonpaw come from the first surrogated litter which was for PlumThrift to raise, and the second litter is for FlipBay. Biologically full siblings, socially cousins.)

That said, there's still a small chance they get shuffled over to ShellFern. Or, more radically, I might end up sending them over to StormCherry. If that doesn't happen though, don't worry, I'm still keeping Honeyfur and Leafshade in my back pocket in case there's no other opportunities to give them kids.

I will say this for certain though-- PlumThrift BB!Moonpaw would never have full siblings. She will be the only child they ever raise. If the canon parents ever have another litter, they would immediately get shuffled to FlipBay or someone else.

Sunbeam's kittens are, of course, Finchlight's. im punting that other thing into RiverClan. GIT.

OTHER FUN STUFF

I do actually want more mushroom names broadly, because sapient cats would actually be REALLY interested in fungi. I'd even say they'd be more interested in them than flowers. A lot of edible fungi have a chemical compound that makes them smell and taste like meat, so imo, they should be kind of like natural snacks or treats you can find while out and about.

Kinda like how humans have fruit, a culture of cats would have mushrooms. I plan on researching and writing a VERY elaborate mushroom guide at some point explaining this all in-depth (which I will be going thru my little "rolladex" of artists to illustrate it, when it's time), so I don't want to dive into the details just yet.

But in terms of names...

Something I wish I'd been able to do more of is weird, hard-to-translate prefixes. Scents that humans overlook, more time-related names about seasons or crepuscular events, categories of birds and invertebrates, etc.

Petricorfur, Prey-scent-tail, Arionbelly (a particularly large slug for eating), Rascalheart (a particularly feisty bit of prey that gives you a good chase), Thermalhawk (a thermal is a rising wind that allows birds of prey to soar more easily) etc.

If I was going back and scrounging up Glitch Warriors for other Clans, or just generally shaking up the prefixes, I would add names with these "themes" into each Clan;

Thunder: Sweet things and more wood-related terms Nectar, Drupe, Sap, Pith, Grain, bark textures like Fissure, Scale, Tessel.

River: More aquatic animal terms, poetic imagery, and "beautiful" things Caddis, Cray, Salmon, Roe, Mussel, Pearl, Dazzle, Twirl, Dance, Sway, Mirror (for the state of water when it's absolutely calm).

Wind: Sounds, events around the time of birth Bellow, Hiss, Roar, Crackle, Swale (if born around the time of a muirburn), Journey (if born out of camp), Drowsy (for a long birth)

Shadow: Mushrooms, wetland terms, fermentation effects, names that might otherwise sound like insults to other Clans Cake, Candle, Jelly, Parasol, Elf, Sphagnum, Gas, Drake (male duck), Muck, Peat, Bog, Fizzle, Bubble, Rot, Blight, Gnat, etc.

Sky: Cars and Suburban Terms Truck, Bike, Cycle, Wheel, Asphalt, Lawn, Fence, Board, Shingle, etc.

I also really want to put Vetch in someplace. It's a pretty normal and common kind of flower, I just think the name is neat.

@angelinelitalady

Firestar's Quest Chapter 5: "ARE YOU TELLING ME SKYCLAN HAD TO LEAVE BECAUSE THERE WEREN'T ENOUGH FUCKING TREES????"

Canon? I will never not answer Bumble, you're going to have to give me two guns to ask this kind of question because there isn't a version of me in any nearby timelines that would say anyone except Bumble. It should be a rocket launcher, actually. We need to give her the nuclear codes. In BB I'd give it to Spotty. It would be REALLY funny. 25% of the story is preventing the rise of TigerClan and the other 75% of the story is taking the gun away from her.

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR ALSO! IT'S SNAKE TIME BABEYYYY

@magewolf-the-artist

Do it! Go ahead! I can put it over in the Fan-Fanart post if you'd like. I should really make a section there for written art, too.

Everything about BB and everything WC-related I put on this blog is open source, from Clanmew, to plot threads, to Clan Culture, etc. PLEASE reference what you'd like if you're inspired by anything you see here!

The only thing I ask is that you keep that spirit of mutual collaboration alive. If you add onto Clanmew, allow others to reference it too. Talk about your thought processes. Encourage people to be inspired by what you did and make versions of their own. That's the beauty of fandom.

My end-game goal is for BB to result in a "skeleton" of chapter-by-chapter notes, the sort of thing you would hand to a ghost writer, so that it's essentially bones that anyone could take and write out themselves. This will take a looooong time because it's more about me having fun along the way, so if you want to write something, go ahead!

Never, never worry about "getting something wrong." You can change things, you can grow as a writer with time, wisdom, and practice. The worst piece of art is a piece that is never made.

[ccazimi]

Poltergeist!

cw: sukuna x ghost!reader, pure CRACK, humorous mentions of a foot fetish, heian era au

wc: 2.5k

a/n: perhaps i will continue this idk yet :P

Sukuna had found the perfect place to settle down after years of simply wandering amidst the forest. The shrine was nestled away within a misty crop of trees at the base of a large mountain, overgrown with vines and surrounded by towering cedar and pine trunks.

The wood had faded to a grayish-brown, bright vermillion paint flaked off to leave patches of dull red. It was large enough that the grounds included storage rooms, a sprawling overgrown garden, and servants’ quarters - all laid out behind the grand torii gate.

Perfect. After a few servants and workers he kidnapped from nearby villages, the place had come alive in no time.

What Sukuna didn’t consider was the possibility that the shrine was already inhabited.

It started with nothing more than a cold draft here and then, or an oil lamp abruptly extinguishing itself in the middle of the night. Sukuna swears his memory must’ve gotten worse since he got here too because he swore he’d closed the door to the garden last night, that he’d kept the manuscripts he was reading on the low table beside his futon.

Not to mention that slightly unnerving feeling that he’s being watched sometimes, late at night when he’s alone in his room trying to sleep.

Not even a week later everyone runs to a corridor after one of the maids starts shrieking at the top of her lungs.

Sukuna arrives disgruntled amidst the commotion, utterly aggravated that he was interrupted during a meal out of all times.

“What the hell is this all about?!” He growls, staring pointedly at the young woman who’s clearly been spooked by something.

“I- I think this shrine is haunted, Lord Sukuna…” She replies timidly.

Sukuna crosses both sets of his arms, unamused and looking at the servant like she’s stupid or something. “Haunted, huh? And how exactly did you arrive at this genius conclusion?”

“I- I saw a woman…in white, my Lord. With blood all over her clothes,” She points to the end of the hall, “standing there. Then she disappeared, and a second later I felt cold, icy cold, hands on my arms even though I couldn’t see anything, and…”

Sukuna cocks a slitted brow, wholly unimpressed by her account so far. “And?”

The maid hesitates, rubbing her head awkwardly before continuing. “And then I felt someone kiss my cheek, with the same cold lips.”

Sukuna blinks.

“You’re telling me a ghost kissed you?” He repeats flatly, just to show how ridiculous it sounds.

“Well…yes, my Lord…”

Sukuna wonders if he must have accidentally dropped this one in particular on her head when he kidnapped her from the village.

“Waste my time with some stupid shit like this again, and I’ll personally send you to the realm of ghosts myself. Understood?”

The maid has no choice but to nod in acceptance, as Sukuna commands everyone to get back to work. There’s no way his meal was interrupted for this shit.

Unfortunately for him, that’s not the last he has to hear of these kind of incidents- if this supposed ghost isn’t smooching people, it’s busy scaring the shit out of them. Before long, basically everyone agrees that the shrine must be haunted.

Well, everyone except for Sukuna, of course.

He refuses to entertain these ridiculous ideas, at least not until he sees something with his own (four) eyes.

Never mind all the other strange but small occurrences that have been taking place around him.

Sukuna's sleeping one night when he feels distantly like someone else might be in his room. He stirs a bit, an eye opening drowsily when he sees what seems like the figure of a woman standing by his bed.

He figures it’s one of his concubines looking for a late night fuck or something even though he hasn’t invited any tonight. They get real needy sometimes.

“Leave.” He mutters, closing his eyes again. “Not in the mood to fuck right now.”

“Hah. You couldn’t fuck me even if you wanted to, squatter.”

Squatter?

Well that wakes him up, because the King of Curses refuses to take any form of impudence even in his sleep.

He sits up on his futon. “Who the hell do you think you’re talking t-”

And that’s when he catches sight of you for the first time, a new face that he doesn’t recognize but certainly doesn’t mind looking at.

He squints. There’s something off about you.

You look a little pallid, like you might be sick or something with long unkept hair. Not to mention your white gown is splotched with red, and he swears he can kinda see the back of his room through you.

His gaze drifts downwards, where he notices that your feet are hovering an inch or two above the ground, and it clicks together for him.

“Why the hell are you staring at my feet? Out of all people who could’ve come in and taken over my shrine it had to be a four-armed freak with a foot fetish?”

“What?” His red eyes snap back up to you. “Who dares speak to the great Ryomen Sukuna with such bold impertinence—”

“Oh, shut up already, would you?” You huff. “I’m the shrine maiden that lived, died, and was resting in peace here till you arrived with all your little minions and disrupted my sleep.”

Sukuna scowls, eyes following you as you float around his room. “So, you’re the ghost that’s been terrorizing my servants, huh?”

You roll your eyes. “What, a spirit wants to spread a little love and now it’s called terrorizing?”

“Okay, let me specify: why the fuck are you going around and kissing the attendants?”

“Because you know how ridiculous it sounds to tell someone that a ghost kissed you? You would never believe them. Also, it’s kinda funny.” You’re on the other side of his chamber now, bending over to reach for the pot of sake on a table.

Unfortunately for you, your fingers pass right through it when you try to pick it up. “Dammit, this whole materializing thing takes a bit of practice…”

Sukuna watches as you try, and fail, a few more times to pick it up before finally getting fed up. “Will you stop that? Just tell me why the hell you’re here.”

You sigh, shrugging your shoulders. “I got tired of messing around so I decided it’s time to cut to the chase- I’m here to haunt you.”

One of Sukuna’s eyes twitches, while he stares at you like you have four arms yourself. “Haunt me? Are you fucking serious?!”

“Yeah. Until you get out of here.”

He scoffs. “And who said you could haunt me?”

“Well who said you could squat in my resting grounds. I got here first anyway.”

“I’m not squatting, I live here. It’s not like you do- not anymore, at least.”

You look at him once before turning to the sake pot and swinging your palm at it. This time you do manage to hit it, making it fall noisily onto the wooden floor and spill the alcohol everywhere.

Sukuna stands up, gritting his teeth. “What the fuck are you doing, stop that!”

You stare at him blankly, and Sukuna realizes this is the first time anyone’s looked at him like he’s stupid. “I’m haunting you. I literally just said that.”

A strangled growl of anger gets caught in his throat as he reflexively raises his hand and yells “CLEAVE!”

Thanks to the fact that not only do you not exist in this dimension, but also that you’re already dead, Sukuna manages to do absolutely nothing to you.

Instead it’s the wall of his room that receives the consequences of his rage, a large gash opening up in it as his attack goes right through you and into the wood directly behind.

You burst out in laughter, bending over while he glares at you with such venom it might be enough to actually kill a living person.

He’s just discovered the one thing he hates more than humans: undead humans.

To say the least, Sukuna is not having fun trying to live his life while being haunted by a mischievous spirit that’s hellbent on getting on his nerves in ways he didn’t even know was possible.

“Can you stop rearranging my furniture?” Sukuna growls in exasperation, waking up to find that except for his futon the layout of his room has once again been changed. You’ve really been on a roll with the interior redecoration lately, coming up with a new design every morning for the past week. “How are you even doing that?! You were literally struggling to move the sake pot not that long ago.”

He can’t see you but he knows you’re listening, and he’s proven right when you decide to show yourself. “Concentration and practice, I told you. Though it happens automatically if I’m feeling strong emotions. Besides your room looks better like this, don’t you think? Really opens up the place.”

Sukuna pinches the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath.

Sure, it did open up the place, but only because you decided to take every single object and piece of furniture in the room and pile it right by the door. “When I find out how to exorcise you, you’re done for. I’m going to banish you to hell. You can do as much furniture rearranging as you want there.”

It must just be his horrible luck, because not only were you an extremely irritating spirit, you were apparently quite a strong one too, which he found out after several different exorcision rituals performed by Uraume had failed. The one time he’d thought it worked and was ready to celebrate, was just you pretending like you’d been banished before showing up again not even two minutes later.

He guesses becoming a spirit must also have given you a certification in theatrics too, because you love to pull them out on his servants whenever you’re bored- including but not limited to: running on all fours, running backwards on all fours, contorting your limbs and body in ways that aren’t anatomically possible, turning your eyes white and zooming after people while you screech that you’re going to catch and eat them…

Sukuna’s told his attendants and concubines numerous times that while there really was a spirit on grounds, it wasn’t malevolent and just really liked to fuck with them.

It didn’t ease their fears, with the kind of stunts you pulled off.

Not that you didn’t find pleasure in the mundane as well. In fact he thinks one of the worst things you do is just floating around his room while he’s trying to fall sleep.

Back and forth, back and forth, he sees the pale and slightly luminescent figure just floating across his chambers.

He tries to ignore it but the repeated action itches his nerves, so he closes his eyes but somehow just the knowledge that you’re probably still going back and forth pokes at him, and finally—

“Can you stop that?!”

“I’m bored.” You reply flatly.

“Go be bored somewhere else.” He grumbles, turning into his futon and cushions.

“Do you have memory issues or something? How many times do I have to remind you that I’m haunting you.”

“You’re annoying me, not haunting me.”

For a second he’s sure you’re going to retort back, but there’s a pause, followed by you saying. “Okay fine. I’ll stop. Goodnight!”

He finds it suspicious, especially the cheeriness in which you bid him goodnight.

He doesn’t question his luck though, as you disappear and he starts to feel his lids grow heavy.

And just about as he’s fall into sleep, he feels it—jarring, icy coldness against the hot skin on his back.

He, the King of Curses, shrieks, sitting upright and fully awake.

Beside him is his dear spirit, under the sheets and cackling.

“What the fuck was that?! Get out of my bed, this instant!” He thunders.

“My feet—they were cold.” You reply innocently, batting your ghostly lashes.

He looks at you like he wants to rip you apart, and then tear his own hair out. “Because you’re FUCKING DEAD.”

“I thought you were into my feet?”

“I do not like your feet, I don’t even like feet in general, can you quit with that already?!” Sukuna massages his temples.

“I could’ve sworn I heard you moan when I put them on you, though…”

He can’t even talk because of how mad he is, just lunging to throttle you by the neck purely on instinct. His hand goes right through your ethereal body, and he must really not like the feeling because he quickly retracts his arm with a disgusted sound.

You do nothing but laugh even more, as he cusses you out while shifting away from you on the futon, and burying his head under a bunch of pillows.

Over time Sukuna still does not like you or appreciate your presence, but his curiosity gets the better of him.

“How did you die?” He asks in his room one evening, seemingly with no one else in it.

Just as expected you appear, hovering in front of him and crossing your arms.

“None of your business.” You reply curtly.

“I think it is my business to find out about the spirit that’s haunting me. Maybe it’ll even give me some idea on how to get rid of you…” He adds almost wistfully, imagining a life in this shrine without you throwing things around every day or freaking out his servants.

But all you do is huff and disappear.

Weird.

Normally you always have something to say. Must be a touchy subject, he concludes.

The next time he asks you again- you do actually give an answer, rambling on dramatically about how you “saved the shrine from a monstrous curse” and “sacrificed yourself for the sake of the world”. He snorts skeptically, nearly impressed at your flair for drama.

He asks you again the next day. This time your story was that “a wandering warrior came to the shrine, and fell in love with you.” But according to you, the gods didn’t “approve” of your passionate relationship and decided to curse you, leaving him to walk away heartbroken while you completed shrine duties till the day you died.

You apparently don’t appreciate his suggestion that maybe he left because of how insufferable you must’ve been, considering how many dishes you decided to toss at him before disappearing while calling him a “brute with a foot fetish”.

Each time he asked, you just spun an even more elaborate and ridiculous story from the last, including everything from goblins to tragic prophecies that would’ve made Victorian romances sound like light work.

You must be getting bored too, because now instead of antagonizing him all the time you actually offer some helpful advice occasionally, regarding his evil plans.

Sukuna notices you getting restless, and decides that a bored spirit is an even more destructive one.

So he gives you the task of managing his servants, and scaring them into submission.

He thinks you’re a pretty good manager, because his servants have been so on top of it after you’ve been appointed that he’s barely even had to fire (kill) any. He hears you working from time to time, showing up behind poor unsuspecting maids and telling them “they must do the dishes faster, lest they feel your wrath.”

He still doesn’t like you but he isn’t quite as determined in his search for a successful banishing ritual anymore.

[kiyo-cant-write]

hi hi! jade req again, kinda toxic this time

can we get jade with a reader who’s really easy to manipulate and they know it? idk if it makes sense but like jade realizing reader isn’t oblivious to his manipulation, just kinda self-destructive and hopelessly into him

jade thought he was being slick because reader wasn’t calling him out on anything, but he overhears their conversation and finds out that they’re fully aware jade is a ton of red flags but is still staying anyway, and his reaction to that

i really hope this makes sense! idk how to word it

jade w/ an easily manipulated reader ✧･ﾟ

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Aw! Thank you for another request! I love Jade and Octavinelle so much! I hope that I did your idea justice. Please let me know if you'd like another request in the future! Onwards to the story! ^^

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Summary: Jade Leech has been stringing [Name] along for fun and due to the instruction of Octavinelle's Housewarden. He thought he was doing well... but it seems [Name] may have had ulterior motives.

TW/CW: Toxicity but the standard Fish Mafia kind

Notes: established "relationship", they/them pronouns for the reader, the reader is Yuu/Ramshackle Prefect, the reader is described as human and younger than Jade/frosh, ADeuce if you squint, implied to be post-Azul OB

Guest Stars: Deuce Spade, Ace Trappola, Grim, Azul Ashengrotto & Floyd Leech (referenced)

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✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

Jade Leech

As much of a sadist as Jade can be, he's not exceptionally cruel outside of what he deems as the necessity for his purposes.

He is a bit smug when he thinks he has [Name] under control.

Jade is pretending to be "honor student Jade Leech."

He acts as their friend and support albeit for the Lounge.

He pretends to care, to do everything to help them.

He smiles at them, speaks politely, and even "affectionately."

They trust him and they tell him things they shouldn't.

He will use those bits of information when the time comes.

Every time they have an inkling of doubt, he squashes it.

His surprise is evident when Floyd points out that it might not be the case this time, but Floyd is Floyd and doesn't explain.

Wanting to make sense of this discovery, Jade observes [Name].

He watches to see if [Name] really has caught onto him.

Jade is intrigued and what he finds does not disappoint.

He is surprised to find that they caught on long ago.

But they stayed? Why?

Because they "love" him?

Why would they love the guy trying to string them along?

It didn't make sense to him. He felt a tug at his heartstrings.

Did he feel bad about this?

He didn't know what to do.

Jade starts to avoid [Name] after realizing their feelings.

He retracts further into his honor student persona.

[Name] will not win this fight. He will not be bested by a freshman.

The battle has just begun and Jade needs to bury this sinking feeling in his chest. What does it mean anyway?

Floyd serves as a live studio audience to Jade's struggles.

Jade is an observer. That had been his role for so long, that he wasn't sure when it began. Ever since he was young, he would watch and calculate while Floyd was the type to rush into things, be impulsive, and just a tad stupid at times, at least when they were young. Jade never intended to make his observations a skill, but sooner or later, everything becomes an asset.

That's what his father had always said.

His mother worried about the sadistic streak in her son, but she couldn't do anything to prevent its development. Jade was, after all, a member of the Leech family. He and Floyd would join the family business sooner or later unless they wholly refused its offer.

"[Full Name]," Jade mused to himself, "How interesting."

Azul had been the one to ask him to pay extra close attention to Ramshackle's Prefect in case they strayed too far from things, or got into any trouble. The magicless human that had saved others from themselves, they interested the owner of Mostro Lounge. Jade had simply agreed with Azul's request, observation was his skill, after all.

It had never been meant to evolve, and certainly not into this.

Jade watched as this person fell for his polite words hook, line, and sinker. It was almost too easy. They were shockingly trusting, telling him all sorts of things he could use to be downright evil if he wanted to be. It wasn't time for that, not yet, but one should always guard their secrets (perhaps not as much as Azul, but at least a bit).

He didn't need to do anything unless the moment called for it.

At the time, it had not been necessary.

That was weeks ago.

Azul hadn't given further instructions and, to be fair about it, Jade didn't want to earn that octomer's ire. Not today, anyway. He and Floyd were troublesome, yes, but not stupid.

So, as Azul had instructed, he was trailing the Prefect until told otherwise (or until it became boring, whichever arose first). Though their reactions had been predictable, he could argue that things were getting boring now.

Floyd would have given up ages ago, he was sure of it.

[Full Name] was currently spending their time with their classmates, Ace Trappola (easily swayed by competition and bets) and Deuce Spade (note: gullible as a child). Jade had kept an eye on the three of them (and Grim) because of their closeness. It was rather irritating how buddy-buddy they were. He had worked a bit to get [Name] alone those few times they had spoken privately.

Standing away from the trio, Jade listened in on their conversation.

"[Name], I don't think that this is good," Deuce told them, clearly worried for their friend's mental state, "You need to be more careful. Don't you remember what happened to me and Ace?"

"I fucking remember!" Ace chimed in, "It sucked. Don't trust fish."

"Nya! Fish are food, not friends," Grim told them, "Especially eels!"

"Ah... You guys..."

Jade almost wanted to chuckle at Grim's words of "wisdom" but he withheld it, knowing that he mustn't give away his position. Not yet.

"You shouldn't trust Leech-senpai," Deuce continued, "Do you not remember how he and his twin brother acted before?"

"THEY TRIED TO KILL US, [NICKNAME]!!" Ace interrupted Deuce, earning him a glare from the navy-haired boy, "Sorry, Deuce-chan."

"Don't call me that."

What Deuce was doing could only be described as glowering.

"Lighten up and help me convince [Nickname] not to get themselves murdered by a shady eel and a shadier octopus!" Ace told him, slapping Deuce on the shoulder, "Just because they're better doesn't mean they're changed fish! Fish are suspicious!"

"Ace, do you have some fish-related trauma outside of campus that I should know about?" Deuce asked him, "It's starting to seem—"

"FOCUS ON [NICKNAME], DEUCE."

Ace's reddened face was a sign that Deuce was on to something with that fishy nonsense. Jade Leech would remember that fact.

Fish trauma. Noted.

"....Okay," Deuce agreed, turning back to [Name], "Do you want to tell us what you've been doing with Leech-senpai? We're worried..."

Deuce trailed off for a moment before he added a Deuce-typical offer.

"I can fight him if you want me to. They're messing with my friend."

"N-no thanks, Deuce... I don't think I need that," [Name] said, laughing at the antics of her friends and roommate, "Honestly, I know he's not being honest with me... But I don't really... care?"

The words surprised Jade but he refused to give himself away. There was more information to be gathered, for his own needs and Azul's.

They don't mind my dishonesty? Heh...

"I have never been more concerned for you than I am right now," Ace said, tone lacking its usual goofy undertone, "Do you want me to tell Mom and Dad about anything? They would help..."

Ace wasn't sure what to do but this was a worry. So frantic to say his sentence Ace neglected to register his misnomer for Vice Housewarden Trey Clover and everyone's favorite senpai Cater Diamond. He could lay awake and think about that later.

Deuce clearly felt similarly as he reached out to put a hand on [Name]'s. He wasn't good at solving problems of the emotional variety but he could be a support. Or, he would try to be one.

"Even if we can't say anything helpful... We can be here to listen."

"I appreciate it, but I'm fine," [Name] tried to assure them (but it wasn't working), "I just... I like Jade-senpai... and if this is how... he will talk to me... then I am okay with it. I've just been going along with all... that."

Jade felt time stop for a millisecond as he processed the words. They had been "playing along"? They didn't fall for every trick? Perhaps this was more interesting than he had thought. Still. He didn't like being bested, perhaps he needed to up his game...

"[Name], that's not good... I don't think..." Deuce managed.

"I wish Mom and Dad were here..." Ace mumbled.

"[Name], don't leave me for a fish! It's not even tuna!"

Grim clung to his human with small paws, tail swishing.

Jade was baffled not by those that Azul had previously controlled but by [Name] themself. They were something odd amongst the students of Night Raven College. They didn't shy away from his... methods.

But they said they liked him. He wondered if that made him feel something. He wasn't one to like other people, stay around them long... especially these landfolk.

It was a foreign concept.

Oh dear. [Full Name], you've managed to intrigue me now.

To the concern of Deuce, Ace, and Grim, Jade Leech wouldn't be letting his human prey go any time soon. Not for Azul, or his brother... This was something he was pursuing now. For better or worse.

I hope they're prepared to best me once more.

What would they say if I said I "loved" them? ♪

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Imagine the rest for yourself~

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Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are appreciated! Do NOT repost my writing/headcanons as your own >:c Check the top of my blog for the inbox status and read the rules before requesting. This is not a twst-only blog! ^^

[wildehacked]

thinking about those 'when did they fall in love polls,' and wondering once again about how much of eddie's feelings about buck in early s3 are actually about shannon, and how/when that flips and the feelings become about buck.

like, okay, here's a bold claim (do i believe it? i'm curious about it. i'm making the claim but i'm curious to see if i'm right. you get it):

eddie telling buck "there's no one i trust with my son more than you" is eddie working through his feelings about shannon, not wholly about buck and buck's relationship with christopher.

my reasoning:

shannon just died, like, an emotional SECOND ago

in the months leading up to her death, she and eddie fought (pretty devastatingly!) over whether or not he could trust chris with her

he ultimately decided he could

one of the last conversations they ever had was about shannon telling him that she wanted to be there for chris so badly that she didn't want to try to have a romantic relationship with eddie at the same time

and then she died

so okay, like, an emotional second after that, buck ALMOST dies

eddie's in the hospital waiting room while they work on buck's leg and he was JUST there for shannon, and this is someone else who he cares deeply about, who is becoming more and more important to him, and he might die and idk it's just plausible to me that the feelings would get. weird and mixy.

then buck's depressed because he's home and recovering and can't go back to work, and eddie decides he's going to cheer him up by having buck babysit christopher

buck has NEVER BABYSAT CHRIS BEFORE, this is implied to be his FIRST BABYSITTING GIG OUT THE GATE

the tsunami happens. eddie sees buck standing there looking devastated with christopher's glasses around his neck, someone he trusted with chris who has, perhaps, failed him, and has the worst five seconds of his life before he realizes christopher is alive. and then chris tells eddie all about how buck saved him and he knew buck would come back.

and buck thinks eddie won't ever trust chris with him again, and, you know, it's honestly not an unreasonable fear. the thought HAS to have crossed eddie's mind, like, can you trust this person who you trusted your son with and then your son almost died

and eddie comes back HARD with reassurances that yeah, buck failed that kid, but eddie's failed him too, and the important thing is that they both love him anyway.

That's a different version of a conversation he and Shannon already have, back in that parking lot in season two, except because it's the second iteration, Eddie leans right into the reassurance I think he wishes he'd given Shannon, in hindsight: there's no one I trust with my son more than you.

like, okay. that's an insane thing to say and mean, given Carla and Pepa and Abuela. but he does say it. and i think it's partially because Eddie is incredibly moved by Buck saving Chris's life, and he IS inclined to give people second chances, AND I think it's because, like. for romantic reasons but also NDE/grief reasons and "Chris loves you" reasons, I think he's mixing up some of his new feelings for Buck with his old feelings for Shannon.

There's no one I trust with my son more than you, Eddie says, and I'm not saying he doesn't mean it, or that he isn't saying it TO Buck, but. I do think it's a sentiment that's very deeply informed by what he wishes he'd said to Shannon.

okay and then there's also the grocery store fight! this one's easier/less ambiguous, imo. eddie blows up at buck for abandoning christopher, but actually for abandoning him, we all agree on that. but i think he's actually pretty unambiguously projecting some of his anger at shannon for abandoning him and christopher onto buck. "did you even think about christopher? do you even know how much he misses you? how could you." LIKE. this is a fight you're having with your coparent who left you!!! we already know that Eddie's working out his grief over Shannon with anger and violence in the fighting ring plot—to me the grocery store fight is more of the same. It's not that he's not legitimately angry at Buck, but the WAY he's angry is like—a much bigger response than is seemingly merited by Buck's actual betrayal, as we can see by the way Chim and Hen respond. And that's because Eddie's been slowly falling for Buck, yes, and because Chris DOES miss him, but I think it's also because, like—he's grieving his wife! He's saying the things he never said to her to Buck, because even in his anger he still views Buck as a safe person to get mad at, because he doesn't think Buck will really leave forever.

it's funny bc Buck tells Eddie explicitly that he thinks Eddie was projecting his feelings about Buck onto the fights. And I'm like, well, you're right, but I think he's also projecting his feelings about Shannon's death onto YOU. he's a projector.

and then after that you've got a series of some of the most domestic / romantic buddie episodes in the show—like, buck and eddie "go for the title," buck brings christmas to the firehouse, buck and eddie build chris the adaptive skateboard, buck is firmly part of chris and eddie's life in a way that's NEW, a closeness that they were building to in s2 but which only gets to thrive now, in mid s3. like—eddie and chris are healing over the worst of the grief. eddie starts to rebuild his life, emotionally, and he puts buck directly in the center. and that IS about buck, not shannon, even if it is about the empty space she left in eddie's life.

and then we get the well collapse, and eddie does a mental rehash of his marriage and his baby—how he and shannon failed each other, and failed chris, but also how they were each there for him at different times, how he wants to be there for chris forever. and he digs himself out of his grave. and he puts buck in his will.

is that "about" shannon? it's about eddie's relationship with shannon, definitely. like, okay, it's about christopher, first and foremost—but I do think it's also about eddie's feelings for buck. he wants chris to be happy and safe; he thinks buck would keep chris happy and safe. because he's been carefully rebuilding his life around buck! ever since he, like, kind of rehashed some of the biggest mistakes he feels like he and shannon made in their marriage with buck, but this time it ended up better. buck failed chris, and eddie decided to keep trusting him. buck left, and eddie yelled at him about leaving, and buck came back and fit himself even more deeply into their lives.

i don't think the parallels continue that far past season three, because I think that's the peak of eddie's grief, and thus the place he's dealing with his subconscious shannon feelings most directly, but like. i don't know, they're there! buck was kim before kim was kim, only kim knew there was a script ("I loved you, I'm sorry,"), and buck DIDN'T, but he still managed to say and do the exact things eddie needed to hear. (Most of what Buck does is just find opportunities for him and Chris and Eddie to spend time together. BREAK MY HEART RIGHT OPEN, you know????)

[tonydaddingham]

it was about the coffee

edit 24/11: rip miracle blocker theory, my love

but possibly not the way we thought it was. this is going to sound so convoluted but bear with me here (and big thanks to the anon that precipitated this theory, and major apologies that writing this theory is only going to delay my answer to your ask even further💕)

a major plot-point for me in s2 was this bad boy:

which i think we can safely say is a very op power for demons to possess for it not to come up again later on in the show? it's almost like a parallel to the book of life on that front - which is mentioned in the bookshop in ep6, but we've all agreed is pretty much going to be a major chekhov's gun in s3, right? well, what about the miracle blocker?

why wouldn't shax think of getting one either from furfur or from beelzebub when storming the bookshop? well, could be that shax didn't think of it. true - but i do wonder if something iffy was in fact going on in ep5/ep6 showdown, right up into the Final Fifteen.

let's start here: aziraphale has got some reality-bending bullshit going on, which i think is possibly just naturally emanating from aziraphale himself (im not wholly convinced it's entirely in-character for him to purposefully fuck with people's heads and autonomy) and perhaps the dancing/outfits/emotions etc is just the image he wanted for the dance, and his magic (?) essentially made it happen, so much so that he was potentially taken in by it too... hence why he was so readily resistant to crowley's pleas to listen to him about the danger? idk, getting sidetracked.

but anyway, then the demons come, and we see the below where... randomly, aziraphale's miracles/magic doesn't work. and there's no given reason for it:

soon after this, aziraphale opens the portal; one thing on reflection? that portal opens damn fucking fast. sure, the peril is high, certainly higher than s1 when he had to pray and practically beg to speak to someone... but if the portal is more or less for metatron's direct use, and the metatron is so damn busy, being the voice of god... why would he be sat there waiting for a call?

s1, the time between aziraphale starting to pray/dial 9-1-heaven, and the portal opening (excluding where he shouts to shadwell that the shop is closed) is just over 31 seconds. s2, from "hello, is there anybody there" to portal opening is just over 5. a very short cut-down for a retired, traitorous angel, regardless of whether they're under attack (which, tbh, would be in heaven's interests, right? for aziraphale to get Got?). the explanation for that can only be, in my book, that metatron has been watching... and possibly has been since the first time the portal opened.

anyway, we then move on to metatron arriving at the bookshop, and offering aziraphale the coffee. others have reported a miracle chime, and tbh i too can hear at least a faint, high strong, that sounds out of place in the ambient sound of the scene. video below, where ive marked out where i can hear it:

we know that aziraphale doesn't drink coffee. tea, hot chocolate, wine... but he's never, as far as we've seen, canonically drunk coffee. he must have tried it at some point, crowley likes it/drinks it, so why wouldn't aziraphale have tried it at some point? well, i think he probably has, and didn't like it. i think he tried to change it, in front of the metatron, so he could take a sip and not be offensive. but... it doesn't work. aziraphale's reaction is awkward. and metatron's reaction is smug. i think metatron has a miracle blocker.

aziraphale is not stupid. i think he knows possibly from that moment, or very soon after, that metatron has been up to something. i think he knows that metatron might have eyes and ears everywhere. i think aziraphale has worked out that metatron is not in fact A Nice Old Man, and knows it right through until he gets in the lift (which im going to talk about more in the aforementioned anon ask). i don't think aziraphale has been overtly threatened, because the metatron has worked so hard in this scene to be non-threatening. but he has underestimated how smart aziraphale actually is.

making the offer to reform heaven appeals to aziraphale, there is no doubt on that. and aziraphale is desperate for crowley to be with him - not only on the layer of wanting to be together, or another layer of crowley deserving to have heaven make amends to him, or even the layer wanting to protect crowley under his status as supreme archangel... but because if aziraphale walks away, without crowley, crowley has nowhere safe to go. the bookshop has been compromised, and it is no longer safe. metatron with his almond syrup has Eyes and Ears everywhere. when crowley refuses, aziraphale has to get to heaven, and to metatron, before they get to him.

i do completely believe that aziraphale wants to help heaven, and possibly seek any way in which he can return it to what he thinks or believes was god's original purpose for it - to return or make it into the place that was always meant to stand for good and justice and love. but i also believe that now, more than ever, aziraphale teeters on the edge of giving heaven a chance - or being burnt to ashes, literally or figuratively. idk about you, but i have a gut feeling on what option he, in this moment, would be inclined to take.

[haveihitanerve]

Toby’s Secret Pocket

Why are you telling the only filipino employee to shut up?

I finally got around to doing commentary for this one, so sorry it took so long, but better late than never right? Hehe. anyway this was pure delight and i hope you enjoy as much as I did:)

“Its gonna have a beginning.” I love you person who does the captions and edits the videos- but what is that spelling… [beggining] y'know what actually thats perfectly fine spelling idk why im being mean you're doing amazing love

Completely useless to the plot but all of my comments are so- luke leaning behind tom to set his drink down and them touching shoulders as Tom glances over to check hes ok before returning attention to AJ, idk why it made me smile, but it did so here it is

“The Seven Sins of the Screaming Menopausals.” i am… SO UPSET they didn't do this one. Soooooo upset. I would pay to see them do this one. I loved every second of Tobys Pocket- but TSSOTSM???? Amazing. Would kill to see them tackle it. Anyway im off topic- continue

Sam’s cackle lugh at the suggestion, Tom’s slow incredulous laugh and Luke hanging his head while AJ just stares like a deer in headlights, trying to figure out how to say “NO!” without screaming it XD

Tom: do we love it? (a man after the audiences heart, i love it) AJ: *no we do not tom don't do this to us* We’re gonna put a pin in that one for a moment Sam: *still cackling* Luke: *still in disbelief*

Sam loves using a fake pike as a prop and i adore it every time

AJ and Tom my fav duo(they’re all my fav duos but rn I’ve picked them specifically) idk what they’re discussing on the sidelines but they’re adorable

I love how Luke started out speaking with a voice he tends to use for his female characters and then realize “wait i’m toby” and has now switched to be a male voice XD

“Thats right. Nobody knows that this shirt’s actually got a propellor in it.” Tom and AJ laughing in sync and wholly mother of gods Sam’s impression of a propellor carrying him a little bit higher is insanely good

“All of my products are tailor made” *said with flourish* “I know. You're a tailor” *said with sass* lol Luke thought he could get the upper hand

Luke’s face of disappointment in his fellow mates will never not be funny XD

And Sam’s joy because even though he cant see Luke’s face, he knows its being made and is enjoying being a lil shit lmaoo

“Let me rephrase!” ooooh the glare in that sentence XD

“All of my products are bespoke.” …. define please. 

“Smoke meth.” why is sam always a crackhead, genuine question. Also, are pipes a frequent tool for meth smoking? I mean i figure its possible but-... im getting off topic lets move along-

“I just love to watch you work Toby.” ok, so is this romance? “And i loooove to watch you smoke that meth.” Both Sam and Luke and Tom laughing, brilliant- and im assuming that means yes romance?

Audience: *oohs and ahhs* Sam:... woOw!

“...-Or the superintendent of the school board-” Luke lifting a finger to stop Sam because what did he just say and then dropping it again when Sam still has more to say idk why but it tickles my brain the right way lol

Luke: *leans against the wall and crosses his legs like a smooth mf* what was the second *laughs* one you said?

“Comptroller!” “define please!” Sounds like a school spelling bee lmao

Tom’s slow, growing smile as Sam actually succeeds at answering, Luke’s “fuck” face, and Aj just grinning at Luke’s disappointment at not being able to hold something over Sam and himself just waiting to see if Tom agrees because he doesn't have a fucking clue XD

Sam’s smug, and yet thankful smile as people appreciate his nerd 😭 such a cutie

“Don't cheer over the end of the definition!” Fourth wall breaks, we love- also Sam dropping his head to laugh, and Tom also chuckling(AJ’s too out of frame to see but I’m sure he enjoyed Luke’s quip too)

“Give him an excuse to peter out like that!” Luke reallllyyy wishes he would have messed up lol

Sam looking at Luke expectantly when he steps closer again like “do you want me to continue you lil shit? I know my stuff” 

“You got manhattan-” “Alright alright!” Luke’s done testing him lmaoo and sam still keeps going XD

“You're keeping me on tenterhooks like a piece of sirloin!” Loving these weird Southern analogies lol(unironically, i have actually heard these sentences being used💀)

I just cant get over how Tom and AJ are fully invested, they’re following Luke with their eyes and head, nodding along, Tom is watching and smiling like a proud dad while AJ looks like one of those really interested fans who wants to puzzle out all the hidden meanings and plot devices before the end(even tho luke doesn't even know them yet lmaoo)

“Don cicicio.” Tom and Aj’s reluctant chuckles- they did not want to find his joke amusing and Sam’s overly dramatic smack to the wall

Idk why but Luke’s elegant twirl to look at Sam- theres absolutely nothing to it but i love it so much- i rewound and watched it about four times lol

“In new york city.” “whats wrong with our boutique here in ArkAhnsas?” Sam had to clarify quickly his accent lmaoo

“Its good, but its small, and Im so misunderstood!” oooh dramatic luke!

“Woo that is one small man!” It isn't a sfth play without a short joke lol

I reallllyyyy wanna know what Tom and Aj’s side conversation was about😭

Also luke fighting a smile the way he does after every short joke gives me life

Tom whispering something to Aj that makes him shake his head and scrunch his face- i would kill to know what was said omg

“I was dabbing my brow-” Luke gets intensely close and Sam flinches away LMAOOO

Luke moving away smoothly because he knows the next words will not be kind XD

“Im a virgin” LMAOOO

Tom’s frowned smiling face of “really sam?” lmaoo loveeee

Lukes face omfg XD

“Deflowered me on that date” sorry- the first date??!?!??!? Ok…

“Thats right. I picked you like the last dandelion of the season-” SAM! (also Tom’s raised eyebrow and head shake of “oh god” is ICONIC)

“And i blew your seed all over the field-” SAMUEL! Omg… (i was watching this with my friend and we both screamed “AJ!!! TOM!! SOMEBODY PLEASE END THE SCENE!!)(spoiler alert: they did not)

Luke struggling to remain poker faced, Sam breaking halfway through his sentence and looking over at AJ and Tom both in pride and shame, Tom shaking and nodding his head in “yeah no sam come on…” also i assume prior to that he explained??? To aj what was said or smth idk they were talking- again i wanna knowwww what was being said but sigh

“I cant give away the secrets of my clients.” Smooooooth Luke, very smooth way of avoiding having to come up with the plot XD

“Not even to your wife?” oh hello you're female???? Ok… we stan

“Not even to your loving, bumptious, meth-smoking wife?” LMAOOO adoreee and both of them breaking because of it too 😭

“I was in trouble the day i met you” OOOOOHHH!!! Smooth sam. Very smooth wow

Luke’s turn to look at him and Sam’s smug smirk ahhhhh 

Tom, finally sick of not being included lol: *walks in like the hunchback and a turtle???* somehow i see a turtle idk

Sam, getting ready to be emotional lovers with Luke; Im- Tom: *the most raspy, old person voice he can summon* good afternoon Sam, well there go my plans: ok…

“I believe you have a package for me.” Luke fighting a smile, focusing, moving to grab the pants, unsure, doubling back around to look at Tom, curious and also thrown off, waves hand in front of his face LMAOOO

Luke: *very intruiged* are- are you- are you blind? Tom: what a man can or cannot see depends very much on the quality of light with which he is dealing Damn that was poetic- also is he trying to say he’ll be like… sneaky about it? Like if you're discreet ill be discreet, i don't see anything?? Idk but Luke’s expression kills me

Idk who Sam is communicating with in the crowd but its hella cute

“You will receive your payment!....” *silence* its so bad Luke turns around and looks at Sam for help- helppppp

AJ now also sick of not being in scenes and become Tom’s bodyguard lol

Sam confused and laughing at AJ’s just random wandering while Tom and Luke have a scene XD

Sam leaning forward to try and make eye contact with AJ to ask “wtf?” because hes so confused lmaooo

Aj just barely smiling back and just not responding

Tom didn't know he was there helppppppp XD

Tom’s pat pat on AJ’s chest 😭🫠

“Hot diggity darn!” Sam ending the scene before Tom can do one of his just spewing nonsense until someone gets the hint lol- and the way he and aj do a lil dance of who sits where 😭

“Chief i gotta speak to you right now!” AJ’s depressed stand up because he wants to be in a scene and knows hes the one who has to get up, but also he doesn't want to lmao

Luke’s lean forward- ready to join the scene, doubting himself- then going “fuck it” is iconic

AJ starting strong with the New York accent to lay the scene, y'know sometimes they do subtle things like that that the audience doesn't even register- i didn't until just now(my second time watching) and its just because im writing commentary and so i know what was already previously said- hes establishing the New York police department for the arkansas business deal and it flew right over my head the first time- anyway they're really good at the whole subtly expanding the plot and providing context clues for each other that we don't understand but they do ok im going insane resume-

“Would it be better if there were three of us in your office?” Tom saw an opportunity and he took it, we stan

Sam giving up entirely, Luke just laughing and aj keeping a surprisingly straight face- but i've actually noticed that Tom and AJ tend to be the “chaos kings” and will not break whenever the other person pulls something out of their ass because if they take it seriously it makes it worse for the others on stage lol and thats the sort of chaos camaraderie i adore

“Constable doohickey” what a great name Luke, thanks “Well fucking great! Thank you for that!” If you cant hear the way he says it it almost sounds like a genuine thank you lol

“And I was just here because I couldn't work out how to use the door!” Tom I love you, AJ doing chaos camaraderie again, Sam and Luke laughing again

“I need to get on you boys more!” be stricter aj. The words are be stricter. But ok. Interesting word choice..

“Woah!” Sam outright saying it, Luke spinning in a circle with a concerned and confused look on his face lol, and TOM LAUGHING OMG!!!! Its brief but he hears what AJ says- raises his eyebrows and lets out a quick snicker before returning to his mind empty stare lol- also he and AJ share a lil soft laugh together a second later too ahhhh they’re so cute

Tom raising his hand 😭 cutieeee

“Ju-just go through the door!” AJ finally broke, brilliant XD and Tom smiling at his own brilliance i loveeee

“Well actually, it goes both ways” NO. IT DOESN'T. THERES NO SUCH THING AS A TWO WAY DOOR LUKE- i need to calm down

Ajs disappointed and tired chief face rubbing is glorious actually lol

Luke and Sam just watching quietly with smiles as Tom fucking obliterates the original meaning of the scene lmaooo

Tom, seeing that his messing around has kinda diverged the plot and the others might be a tad annoyed: we’re gonna cut all this out in the edit right? Random audience member, full of joy and hope: yeah! Bold words to say Tom, and I fear they did not come true

“Wait you mean it was open- ahh…” Sam almost rips his hair out lmaooo while AJ is so gentle and treats Tom like a small child, awww they’re so cute

Tom wanting to be off stage but now hes in the scene sitting down so he has to maintain the “eyes open, mind blank” face lmaoo

Luke looking between AJ and Sam with such delight to see where they take the plot gives me such joy

“Tony the tailor?” Aj feels like that doesn't sound right but he cant really say anything. “Tony the tailor.” Sam sees no problems. “Heeeees great!” Tom is subtly trying to tell them they fucked up XD

SAM FIGHTING HIS SMILE IS SOOO CUTE

And tom sees and makes eye contact, grins wider and even gives a thumbs up like “yeah that was good huh?” AHHHH

Luke cant let the misnaming go on any longer lmaoo “where you guys talking about TOBY the tailor?” the way Tom’s smile fades when Luke says this makes me think that maybe he also didn't know it was toby lmaoo “cause im pretty sure it was toby.” 

Sam looking to Aj for help, aj just staring back blanking because he is renowned for his lack of name remembrance XD

Luke’s excited jumps when he got it right over Sam lol

“Fuck you doohickey!” Sam’s smile at his immense joy, tom and aj amused

“I fucked your wife!” I feel like thats uncalled for somehow…

AJS FACE!!!! COMPLETELY FLABBERGASTED DID NOT SEE THAT COMING XD

“OK! I need order in my police department!” the stilted movements are perfect *chefs kiss*

“Theres a reason nobody trusts us anymore ok?” “Its-its it-its” “SHUT UP!!” Aj has patience, but its slowly worn thin lmaoo

“I was just gonna say its the racism.. Its not-” AJ UNSURE OF HOW TO DEAL WITH THAT LMAOOO

His shift to sam, back to tom, slow, annoyed smile, back to sam, nope back to tom “sh-shut up!” as luke loses it in the background and sam just watches the chaos unfold

Nevermind he has to join it- “why are you telling the only filipino employee to shut up?” SAM!!!

Tom’s eyebrow jump at the sentence lmaooo and sams shit eating grin

“The haircuts not helping chief.” and its truly never a show without a bald joke too. Tom’s chuckling to himself and face scrunch to the audience to not laugh XD

“Its toby.” completely breaks sam lol

Luke returning to his seat after having planned to reenter the scene to be a dick to sam again lmaooo

“Hey!” Sam’s defeated glance in Tom’s direction like “wtf now tom leave me alone” lol

“Are you sure you know about the comptrollers?” Luke losing his mind, Sam smiling in “ah shit i gave them an opening and they’ll never let go” and aj laughing 

“But you know the letter b and the letter n. I watch sesame street and they say they’re different letters” thats cold tom, and iconic

Luke’s utter delight and Sam’s utter defeat are PEAK

“Detective-” AJ ending sams suffering the joke finally and moving on XD

“Which one of us are you talking to?” “you.” “ok :)” Despite all the gripes, he cant contain his own lil shit tendencies lol

“He seems to be a fan favorite.” Hes not wrong!

AJ’s lil tongue bite and Tom’s waving as Luke just cackles- delightful

“And ill go see why my wifes been fucking other people-” Sam just wants out lmaooo

“Don- the don is our jurisdiction.” “you've forgotten his name havent you-” “yessss.” AJ is annoyed-answering before sam even finishes to cut him off lmaoo-, Sam is a lil shit, Luke is helping out and not even being a lil shit because its aj and its usual, and tom is just there lol

“I really think I should be in this fucking room.” LMAOOOO smooth way to say “you guys cant keep the story straight damn” lol

“You three-” “you want us three, including him*passive aggressive look to Luke who is already questioning his life choices and why on earth sam would let aj chose because of course he’ll pick yes* to go talk to the tailor?” Its ajs turn to be a lil shit and he is thriving this is his territory XD

“I want to face to face with Don Cicicioo myself.” Tom careful with your words- they will make it come true

Sam gives up, Luke is laughing, Tom is making things worse, and AJ cant stop grinning at the stupidity

Sam prepping meth for his own sanity XD

TOM DOING THE DISAPPOINTED DAD HEAD HANG AND NOSE PINCH

AND LAUGHING

Im noticing so many more things the second time around lol. This is delightful(also im here to point these things out to you guys so you don't have to watch it twice if you don't want to lol- thats literally the only point of these, pointing out cuteness and friendship between these four idiot cuties i just get carried away a lot)

Tom leaning over to check on Sam, then leaning back and scrunching his face at Aj- cutie

“Oh ma god- i think this- this stuffs bad. I just saw a tiny bald man-” AJ cant ever escape lmaooo

Aj laughing, Tom doing his DDHH(disappointed dad head hang) *we laugh so we don't cry core*

Aj and Tom talking off stage again- i think this time they’re debating who goes up first, because Tom points to himself and y'know idk

“Im gonna go and throw up in the bathroom.” “you go do that sweetheart” unironically a very sweet relationship lol

“Oh hello.*i love how the captions clarify its a british accent and aj forces a british accent when hes literally british* im just a local british man.” (they're in arkansas) “me too pip pip!” “alright geezer!” If luke wanted to make life easier for himself he shouldn't make such memorable characters lol

The way Sam and AJ stumble over and clarify each others words is toooo cute. “Or as you call them-” “pants.” “pants.” 

“Actually, theres only space for two!” *he thought he was so clever, also AJ’s smile because he thought that was pretty clever too lol* but oh no no no, its Sam’s payback time. “Ill leave!” “NO!” that no came from the depths of Luke’s soul and there is now a deeply sated fond hatred in him because of that lmaoo

AJ GRINNING, AND TOM LAUGHING TO THE POINT WHERE HE ACTUALLY CLAPS AHHHHH CUTIESSSS

Sam’s proud grin, Luke’s slow turn to look at him, a… idk the proper adjective but y'know the smile he has, and Sam’s little head tilt of “thats what you get fucker” iconic

Luke preparing to speak to the point where it breaks both him and aj lmaooo them bending in sync is too cute

“Hey- hey guys! I made it out of the car!” *proud jimmy* Tom you sweet precious summer child i wanna put you in my pocket awwww

“Chief- i just realized? Why did you come with us?” AJ is giggling too much now, Luke broke him XD “I just- I want- I might as well be part of this! Otherwise Ill have to sit on the side for the rest of the show!” poor baby lol (also the way he sways between all three having to touch them all is too cute)

Growing a suddenly harsher british accent to resume the scene when they literally just had their regular british accents on 😭💀

“I thought you were going to stay in the car!” come on luke! Tom was trying to help! (for once whaaaat who said that?)

“Oh i liked him!” Luke… you make it too easy bb😭

Also toms cute lil chuckle 🫠

“I can bring him back!” AJ’s grin the back “no thats alright-” Luke is done lmaooo

“Come back!” “oooh great!” if anyone could ever say any happier words and mean them any less… i don't believe its possible lol

The entire next bit with luke having to measure himself- when he could chose literally anyone else is iconic XD

“I would come with you but theres a door!” Good point. “Ill cover.” Silence. “I get lonely sometimes.” Luke’s surprised smile and Sam immediately ending the scene lmaoo

“The comptroller.” his proud smile… tt tt tt. XD

Aj really wants to be in a scene, becoming a cat, adorable 

[attention seeking meow]

“I've got a new… cat.” Aj regrets his choices but hes committed now lol

Sam’s concern but keeps petting anyway. “Its so sweaty.” Aj and luke’s laugh🫠

AJ rubbing his head on Sam’s shirt LMAOOOO

And luke loosing it, beautiful paired with Sam’s disgust is just gorgeous

“I see you went with one of those egyptian hairless ones.” yet another bald joke, necessary and glorious as always XD

Even Sam is surprised lol. Luke literally throwing his head back in laughter and Tom’s pride at his skilled joke XD

“Its a very muscular cat.” awww tom felt bad and needed to say something nice, precious

“We go to the gym together.” do they actually? Because that’d be adorable

Idk why Aj starts smiling randomly and almost laughs, but hes so pretty

The ways sams arm is just resting on ajs back and aj really just wanted a comfortable surface to nap lol, eyes closed just resting against sam- brb im gonna go cry

“Its a fun wordplay.” It truly is Tom i love when his lil english nerd comes out <333

“Ahhhhh.” Sam’s scream of concern thats really just a soft sound of confusion because what did Tom do

“Meow.” [concerned meow] that was actually a flawless cat sound aj wow

“But fro those thirty seconds!” why does he sound like an infomercial helppp “you're gonna have one hell of a ride!” AJ both laughing and having to be a concerned cat is wonderful

SAM LICKING AJS HEAD WHAAAAT 

I don't know who’s more disgusted- sam or aj lol. Or the audience honestly

“Anyone who thinks they comptrol anything around here-” thats funny wordplay tom- i see you

“And ill make sure you're looked after.” His sloow reach for AJ’s head and just… weirdly, pushing backwards against it 😭

Aj’s slow smirk and then utter and complete break as Tom licks it 😭

Luke trying to start a new scene and Tom just… disgusted XD

[the face of a man who regrets his previous decision] so so so real

Aj laughing when he notices XD

“Why’d you have hair product in?” The genuine confusion- plus Luke’s complete break, Aj’s bend forward in laughter, and I assume Sam’s agreement because he too licked the head 😭 thats a sentence i never thought id write…

“Why is there guilt in your eyes… toby?” Sam’s proud smirk lmaoo

“For remembering a name?” even Sam is shocked that got cheers XD Tom and Aj both laughing at Luke’s outrage. “How low is the fucking bar?” 

“You forget i remembered it while really high on meth!” fair point y'know

Luke and TOM laughing, plus toms DDHH

“Rrrrrrrrrrreaching into your brain.” I appreciate the hand motions to go with it, and Tom’s complete break, snorting and folding, plus a puff up of the cheeks to try and stop the laugh and failing XD

“Im not allowed to cross state lines.” Tom’s pure enjoyment is giving me life, and Luke’s finger wagging of “don't you fucking do this to me sam” is wonderful

I adore every time the boys have to sit down and shuffle its so cute omfg-

“You too Jimmy. Your internship is over.” damn. The audience booing AJ for his choices is iconic and craaazy and i am HERE for it!

Luke also losing it is a nice touch XD

Not a single one of them can fight their grins and it is precious

AJ CLOSING THE CURTAINS AND FLIPPING THE AUDIENCE OFF AGHHHHHH

“I guess even though i made it myself-” THE CROWD IS ABOUT TO RIOT OH GODS AJ RUNNNNN

Why did they randomly start barking? I don't know. I really don't. Great questions. Anyway. 

“There was a second door????” [distressed jimmy] distressed sam too XD

Sam slouching to be the same height as luke😭

Sam and Luke caressing Aj’s cheek with the same??? Hand??kinda…

“Explain yourself!” “i just did!” their shared break ahhh

Luke abusing his power to force Sam to do his hand gestures XD

“I recon you've gotta send-*starts grinning because ohohoho tom you’ll get your wish alright* best officer.” 

“Stop! Him” Sam: *accidentally smacks him* Sorry:(

Tom’s screech as Sam gets revealed- but the way Aj immediately rushes to cradle and soothe him 😭

“MITOSIS!” no ok, the history nerd and english nerd are fine but don't throw biology at me nuh uh i cant deal with this😭

Apparently neither can Aj lol but for a different reason XD

“Its the process of cell division.” y'know as much as they shame him, they all do immediately tend to clarify things he doesn't understand and it is quite cute lol

“Son,” Tom: *immediately jolts into action* Dad? :) Sam and Luke slowly losing it together XD

AJ: shhhh, don't let anybody know about it Tom: *increasingly more incredulous* DAD?!?! I DIDN'T KNOW! Aj: *confused* Luke: *trying to be un lil shit* you didn't? The resemblance- Tom: i've been looking my whole life! Tom: *squealing and shaking* DADDY?!?!?!? Luke and Sam: *looking at each other in, should we join or wait or end???* AJ: *now stressed and confused* I swear we had this conversation earlier on! Tom: *shakes head and entire body* UHHHH!!! I guess I was distracted *no i wasn't but ill make it easier for you jj lol*

“Son!” “daddy!” they're so cute😭

“Son!” “HIIIII DADDY!” sobbing-

“If you're gonna take that Don down single-handed[ly] in a scene that goes on for about three to four minutes, just you and him *sam you ass XD* *everyone smirking at that, even tom* you're gonna need this. Its the strongest meth i know.” “Ok :) !” Injects it right away Sam: thats not- *how would you know sam… how would you know👀*

Oh yay we get Aj the bodyguard again!

AJ: *dies dramatically* Tom: *nahhh fuck that* wailing Robbie, I told you not to do that anymore! Luke: *dies* AJ: *stumbles back on stage* sorry heh. I just had a moment, I apologize- Tom: *surprised he went along with it, even though duh ofc he did lol* oh- *eyebrow raise of delight and mocking* You’re okay? *laughs* Luke: *dying*” AJ: Im totally fine!

Round two: AJ: OH NO!! *dies dramatically, again* Tom: *ready to make it dramatic* wailing robbie come on now… Wailing Robbie? Wailing Robbie whats going on?- AJ: *fuck you Tom I can do it too* ahhhh just got you there! Didn't i?” Tom: *annoyed smile, but admittedly proud* yeah… Luke: *dying* Sam: *mildly, annoyedly, amused lol*

Round Three: Aj: anyway I’ll uh- Sam: Oh god… Aj and Tom: *laugh* Luke: *sits like a majestic diva and chuckles* Tom: go on then answer the door! Sam: *if he doesn't actually die this time i will kill him* Tom and Luke: *anticipation and laughter* Aj: *dies silently because the last two times didn't go so well lmaooo*

ITS TOM AND TOM’S SOLO SCENE YAY

“STOP IN THE NAME OF THE LAAAAAW!!!!” get it Jimmy

Sam and Luke losing it XD

“I've got… TEN FINGERS!!!! :)” perfect response Tom, truly

Tom fixing his shirt everytime to switch between characters and Sam’s cackle of appreciation when he notices- which makes Tom smile a lil(also lil face scrunch to not laugh)- is adorable

“You look out of breath son. You sure you wouldn't like to calm down and speak more quietly?” “NO!” Tom just out here making life harder for himself huh lmao

“I THINK!-” [jimmy's well articulated thoughts] AJ and Luke bursting out laughing and Sam’s grin- truly Tom, a work of genius this move, honestly XD

“No get it all out.” [jimmy continues] wow hes got a lot to say “but wai- oh you're not done.” [jimmy has so much to say]

Luke sneaking in the back and Tom’s side eye to the audience because he heard it, but knowing Luke it could be anything and he has no idea what to do lol

Luke licking the knife is so hot for no reason- also idk the time stamps of these, but im assuming Aj did it first in Caesar and Juliet anyway off topic-

Aj’s fold at Luke's escape is tooooo cute XD

Aj the emotional support cat is back

“Ill do it as soon as I get out of this-” perfectttttt ending Tom omfg-

Luke’s lil back pat to Tom in “haha i thought that was funny well done” and Aj’s pat to him too awww

AND SCENE!!!! That was… a wild ride and one I enjoyed very very very much. Chaos and delight and mocking and enjoying each others craft and what they do. Iconic. So sorry it took so long, but better late than never right? I hope… anyway ill start working on Jingle Boys soon and hope you enjoyed!

@snek-of-eden @dawn-speckled @flamingbluepanda -i finally did it, hope you enjoyed<333

[katamaricule]

What is dmbj? I've googled it but idk if it's one of those 'I love it and recommend it' shows or a 'I love it - pls never watch it <3' kinda show yk lol

Is there an answer somewhere in the middle? Because that's where it should go.

DMBJ is a franchise based on a set of novels by an author we'll call NPSS. These are mostly first-person tales narrated by a spoiled little dipshit named Wu Xie, as he and his friends go on tomb-raiding adventures, encounter supernatural obstacles, and learn about all the ways snakes don't work. The series has several giant holes in it, as NPSS tends to get bored and wander off mid-story. Several dramas and movies have tried to adapt various pieces of this gap-ridden, wholly unresolved saga, to varying degrees of success.

So to answer your question: There are installments of DMBJ that are a hoot that you should watch, and then there are installments of DMBJ that are also a hoot but you shouldn't watch before you have an affection for the franchise as a whole, and then there are installments of DMBJ that you should not watch even if you are a fan of the franchise because they are just not worth your time.

The problem is, not everybody agrees on what goes in which category. But if you're interested and want to give it a go, these are my personal takes on what's what, in chronological order of events as they happen in the series:

The Mystic Nine

Good starting place: Yeah, actually!

Requires prior knowledge: Nope

Actual ending: No resolution whatsoever

Wu Xie: He's not in this one

Best part: Charming characters you love or love to hate

Warning: Very cheaply produced, with cuts that render significant parts of the story incoherent

Worth watching: Yes, if you're willing to accept the jankiness

The Lost Tomb

Good starting place: Weirdly, no, considering that it's the first series they made

Requires prior knowledge: Not really

Actual ending: Oh, heavens no

Wu Xie: Cardboard twerp, kinda cute

Best part: There's ... some antics, I guess?

Warning: Makes some bizarre additions, condenses several books, just ... isn't very good

Worth watching: Not especially

The Lost Tomb 2

Good starting place: You could do worse

Requires prior knowledge: Some, but who knows if it helps?

Actual ending: Ha ha ha you're funny

Wu Xie: Breathtaking idiot twink street-parking a Maserati

Best part: Wu Xie and Pangzi are in love

Warning: Interminable bronze tree plotline, incomprehensible timeline especially at the ending

Worth watching: Sure, but bring a book for the long stretches

The Lost Tomb 2: Explore With the Note

Good starting place: It doesn't matter, because you're not going to watch this one

Requires prior knowledge: It can't save you

Actual ending: Nothing of the sort

Wu Xie: Shove that whiny nerd in a locker

Best part: There is no best part

Warning: Don't do this to yourself

Worth watching: What do you think

Ultimate Note

Good starting place: It seems like no at first, but it actually is!

Requires prior knowledge: It helps, but you can get by without it

Actual ending: Complete cliffhanger

Wu Xie: Precious muffin

Best part: Everyone is so cute, also heihua

Warning: Tonally way goofier than the other series

Worth watching: Yes! This one's so fun

Tomb of the Sea/Sand Sea

Good starting place: If you like things on Hard Mode

Requires prior knowledge: The main character doesn't have any, so why should you?

Actual ending: It thinks it does, but it's stupid and slapdash and leaves a million loose ends

Wu Xie: Mafia widow (also he's not the main character)

Best part: Seeing from the outside how fucked-up the whole Tomb Raiding Industrial Complex is

Warning: A hot mess, but occasionally a beautiful one

Worth watching: Yes, but maybe save it for later

Reunion: The Sound of the Providence

Good starting place: Shockingly, yes

Requires prior knowledge: No, though it recontextualizes everything once you know more

Actual ending: Yes! Holy shit! We got an ending here!

Wu Xie: Consumptive angel with a gun

Best part: Some truly impressive performances from Actual Actors, Wu Xie and Pangzi are married

Warning: Honestly, just watch this one first so you don't know what you're missing, because once you do, you can't unsee it

Worth watching: Definitely

I hope that ... helps? Or at least doesn't make your confusion worse?

[caligvlasaqvarivm]

How would the others feel/react to karkat and eridan being moirails?

Or tav and gamzee being moirails? or kanaya and aradia being moirails! (I don't remember if you had mentioned them in your re-write) or equius being the auspistise of dave and tavros??

idk I like to explore the relationships and feelings of the characters

haha i'll save erikar for last because it's the funniest one

Kanaya and Aradia are pretty much a no-brainer to people - they're both fairly calm and collected already, so while they are serving to curb each others' worst tendencies (Aradia's recklessness and Kanaya's willingness to stop caring about people she doesn't like), they're really chill and overall not a wholly unexpected development once Kanaya's moirallegiance with Vriska falls through. they're girl best friends. girl married. they confer with each other about who to kill. when they finally do agree on murdering someone's ass Watch Out. Since neither of them particularly need the moirallegiance - it helps, but it's never going to be an emergency measure for the two of them, unlike the other highbloods - it's kind of deemphasized for them both, and they tend to gravitate more towards their flushed partners. also, do yall think about how kanaya fights the undead and aradia communes with ghosts. the spooky wlw vibes

gamzee and tavros, meanwhlie, garners a kind of "oh god, of COURSE it's those two" response. They rank among the two most disliked members of the team, with Tavros's blatant weakness a mirror to many other characters, who have insecurities about being weak - and with Gamzee's facade as the super chill clown at odds with their society's insistence on death, murder, and violence. However, finding true acceptance in Tavros, Gamzee would probably drop the act, which ironically lets him make more genuine connections and friendships with the rest of the team; meanwhile, having the super scary clown by Tavros's side makes Tavros much more comfortable with standing up for himself and asserting his own independence, because if he doesn't, gamzee will probably start killing people talking to gamzee makes him feel braver because gamzee genuinely believes in him and likes him.

dave/tavros/equius is just treated by the rest of the team as Extremely Funny. Dave's friends won't stop giving him shit over it. however, tavros and equius keep getting people who go "nice work" and "congrats man" because a stable and healthy auspicetism like they have is super rare. dave is in hell

pale erikar is definitely one of those things where, once it DOES happen, everyone around them is like "oh god, it was so obvious all along." like, the people on their team were vaguely aware that the two of them were buddies, but Karkat was always privately embarrassed by how often he talked to eridan (canonically, All The Time), and nobody fucking listens to eridan anyway, so for the longest time, their friend group kind of shrugged and assumed they were platonic friends, and any weird vibes they might've picked up to the contrary were just Karkat and his vascillatory too-many-feelings nonsense because he's got such a big bleeding pusher.

In fact, the only person on the team who seems to notice they've got a pale something-something going on is gamzee, but gamzee has a palecrush on karkat so he's deliberately not telling anyone and trying to keep them apart lmao. feferi like unironically notices that eridan and karkat talk so much that eridan has nothing left to talk about with his actual moirail, but doesn't connect the dots that eridan is having an emotional affair (i'm sorry feferi you deserve better HAHAHA)

once it DOES happen, there's kind of a vibe of "wait, really, karkat? THAT guy?" because their relationship - on the outside - reads as incredibly non-traditional. it's implied that insults and death threats are, like, just how they regularly talk to each other (after karkat threatens eridan's life and thrashes him verbally, eridan goes "haha i can always count on you for some good ironic banter, nobody else gets our sense of humor ^w^"), and karkat can basically calm eridan down just by saying hello, whereas eridan keeps karkat calm by saying the most bizarre, hostile, unempathetic shit anyone's ever heard (imagine the "are you like, legit sad?" post). they both have MASSIVE insecurities about appearing weak to other people, so all of their feelings jam stuff happens so far out of the public eye that people genuinely think it never happens at all.

the only thing, publicly, that changes about how they already hang out with each other is that sometimes they'll make out... which you are generally not supposed to do with your moirail. actually everybody on the meteor (besides the humans that don't Get It) are like bro... you two are NASTY. more of karkat's vascillatory, cant-keep-his-quads straight nonsense. Eridan's down for anything as long as he's getting attention, so he's a pretty enthusiastic partner, but then afterwards he's always like "this is why you can't get a concupiscent date :///// you keep doing shit like this w/ your moirail. you have problems"

like that's one of the funniest things about pale erikar imo... it's that 90% of the time it's KARKAT who needs calming down. eridan's always on the verge of a murderous breakdown, but what that means is that he's also really good at hanging on without breaking, and it's actually super rare that he needs to be pulled back from flying off the handle (esp. as compared to sober!gamzee and equius). karkat, meanwhile, is always on a hair fucking trigger, so the biggest change the friend group sees is actually in karkat, who's so much more chill to be around now that his insecurities about weakness are being patched by having the team's ultra-strong sea dweller at his beck and call. and like, yeah, having karkat as his buddy makes eridan much less desperate for companionship with other people, which makes him more tolerable, but he still mostly sucks to be around, he's just less in-your-face about it. so people put up with the grossness of the vascillatory stuff, and cringe of it being ERIDAN of all people, because they're like, well, he's making karkat happy.

[ranhaitanisgf]

Hello Hana💖 Can i request Tenjiku Ran + dating app? lol. Something like:he gave it a try just bc rindou forced him to do it, he had no interest in dates/romance until he matches with y/n (y/n also felt the same way?) then they have a date and became good friends? and after a lot of time spent together & enjoying each other's company ,they realize they are in love? idk, do you magic lol change everything if you want. (i trust your talent and i love that man so much that i'll be happy anyway) Maybe it's an awful idea 🌚 but i'm not longer a teenager //.u. i go to college and i have no other way to delulu how can i met him if it's not through those 💩 apps hehe.

Thank you sweetie, have a wonderful day🥺💖

i guess i can try it out...?

synopsis: rindou signed ran up for a dating app...how is this date going to go?

☆ a/n ˎˊ˗ i i i... STRUGGLED WITH THIS .... this was such a cute req and idea omg but i have never used a dating app 😭 i do not know if i did this right but ! i hope you all still enjoy !! and thank you so much anon for requesting this !! xoxoxo

☆ characters ˎˊ˗ ran haitani x g/n!reader

☆ wc ˎˊ˗ 1.8k+

masterlist 

❥ ran has never really found much interest in dating apps; why would he be interested in meeting someone in a fake way? maybe it’s the little romantic in him, but he doesn’t want to try to actually meet someone he wants to spend time with in a way that feels ‘fake’ to him. he wants to be able to meet someone he likes in an organic way, though he himself isn’t quite sure where this notion comes from, (maybe the romance movies his mom used to watch?). 

“here.”  “what’s all this?”  “you should find someone, aniki.” “oho? where’s this coming from all of a-” “you’re home too much.” 

❥ ran is genuinely hurt by this. 

❥ begrudgingly, he creates a loose profile, not putting a whole lot of effort into it. he doesn’t really see the point in all of this, so his profile consists of a single blurry picture of him with his brother, (not specifying which one he is) and his bio merely states his name, age, and that he likes to sleep. 

❥ surprisingly, he gets matches despite having such a bland and blank profile, but he doesn’t even respond to any of the messages asking to meet up or asking for more information about him. he leaves them all on read, feeling wholly uninterested in talking to any of the people who were trying to get to know him. 

❥ and so, rindou decides to take the matter into his own hands. he’s able to get a hold of ran’s phone rather easily, (the man does not wake up, so he was still snoring away while rindou entered his room) and proceeded to fix up his profile to a more suitable one, even going so far as to respond to at least one of the people who he thought might be a good match for his brother. 

❥ one can probably imagine ran’s surprise when he wakes up in the morning and sees his formal wear set out on his dresser, and you could most definitely imagine his surprise when he sees a ‘okay, sounds good! see you then :)�� message from the dating app on his phone. 

❥ he strides into the kitchen, his phone in hand as he pointedly looks at rindou, who is sitting on the couch with a cup of coffee while watching something on tv. there were no words said between the two of them for a few moments, rindou merely looking up at ran with a look that said ‘you got a problem?’. 

“rindou.” “aniki.” “dear brother…what is this?”  “you have a date today at 7.”  “i don’t think so.” “you’re going.” “no, i’m not. end of discussion.”

❥ it was not the end of the discussion. 

❥ ran ended up agreeing, but it was only because rindou promised to pay for his hair appointments for the next six months, (it was a pretty good deal; the salon he goes to is very expensive). he wasn’t too thrilled about this since he thought of it as more of a waste of time, but he decided to put on his nice clothes anyway, spraying some of his good cologne on his wrists and neck. he even left his hair out of its usual plaits, testing out a few different hairstyles before deciding to just leave it down. 

❥ before he left, he’d taken a glance at the profile of the person he was supposed to meet. despite the fact that he was annoyed about this date rindou had set up, he has to admit that his brother does know his tastes pretty well, so he starts to feel just the tiniest bit of amusement and curiosity, (maybe he should get flowers? nah, he’ll just play it casual and see where it goes). 

❥ when ran arrived, he wasn’t surprised to see it was a typical restaurant/bar type of place, though he was a bit amused at the fact that it was located still in roppongi, (he thinks it would be funny if someone came up to him in the middle of the date because they recognized him). 

˗ˏˋ𖤐ˎˊ˗

“hey, are you ran?” 

“hm?” ran looked up from his place at the bar, seeing a somewhat familiar face looking back at him. he leans a bit closer, his eyes squinting to get a clearer picture…ah, the person he’s supposed to be meeting. 

cute. 

he stood up from his spot at the bar, pasting a charismatic smile on his face as he held his hand out. “correct. you must be (y/n), right?” 

“yes! it’s nice to meet you!” you beamed, giving your hand for a handshake. ran was a bit amused when he noticed your rather firm grip while shaking hands, but it only made him just a bit more curious about you. 

the two of you went to sit down at your table, ran politely pulling your chair out for you, (he had been debating on whether or not to play the gentleman card, but he decided to go with it). after he sat himself down, he decided to wait for you to speak first, wondering if you were going to pique his interest. 

a few moments of silence passed by as he watched your eyes flicking around the place, examining everything before coming back to him. when the two of you made eye contact, your lips ghosted a polite smile, your fingers moving to fidget with a piece of your hair. 

“just to be clear, i’m not really into this whole…dating app thing. i think it’s kind of stupid, but my friends told me to go on at least one date, so i’m here. i’m sorry, i just…” you paused for a moment, pursing your lips. “...i didn’t want to give you the wrong idea. i hope we can still have a good time though.” 

consider his interest piqued. 

“well, if we’re clearing things up, then i’ll admit that these sorts of things are not something i enjoy. my brother is the one who messaged you, and i’m here because he said he would pay for my hair appointments if i came.” ran was curious as to how you would react at his words; would you make a scene by yelling at him and then leave? would you just storm out? maybe you would even cuss him out! 

what he wasn’t expecting was for you to let out a big sigh, seemingly of relief, as you laughed a bit, your posture seeming more relaxed and open. 

“hah! that’s so funny actually!” you mused. “i guess we’re the perfect match then, huh?” 

“seems like it.” ran answered, an amused smirk on his face. “maybe the whole matching thing on dating apps do work after all.” 

“right? this seems like too much of a coincidence to be true!” after a moment, you suddenly seemed to get an idea, leaning forward a bit with a grin. “how about we just hang out for tonight as potential friends? none of that weird polite romantic bullshit that you see in first dates. just two people getting to know each other, completely platonically.” ran let out a laugh at your suggestion, his lips upturned in a casual smile. 

“sure, why not?” 

˗ˏˋ𖤐ˎˊ˗

❥ for the rest of the night, the two of you had a pleasant time chatting about various topics, talking about the latest fashion and hair trends to how you secretly think that pigeons are spying on the people of the world, (ran wholeheartedly believes in your theory; you made a very good argument). he hadn’t been expecting something like this, but when the night ended, he realized that he actually felt a bit sad at the fact that the two of you were going to be parting ways.

❥ this fact made him quite amused, and so, he suggested that the two of you hang out again. as friends, he says, explaining that he actually enjoyed your company and chatting with you, (he felt a little bit more than that, but he could save that for another time). 

❥ when he comes home and rindou asks how everything went, he just laughs and says ‘it was interesting’ then turns in for the night, leaving rindou wondering what the hell happened, and does interesting mean good or bad??

❥ the next time he sees you is by coincidence while he’s out grocery shopping for the week. he happens to run into you in the ice cream aisle, though you see him before he sees you; he’s quite focused on which flavor of ice cream to buy. 

“ran?”  “hm? oh, (y/n). funny seeing you here.” “yeah, no kidding! which flavor are you eyeing?”

❥ the two of you decide to have an impromptu hangout after that, both of you going to your respective apartments to drop off your groceries before meeting at a nearby cafe. it wasn’t anything crazy but there was a comfortable vibe, casual conversation and playful jokes being exchanged between the two of you as you sipped on your drinks. 

❥ ran hadn’t expected to have enjoyed talking with you so much, but before he knew it, the sky outside had changed from blue to orange, the sun setting in the distance. now that he had hung out with you for a second time, he knew that he was definitely interested in you, your joking and fun personality being something that he genuinely enjoyed, (he thought that you were also pretty cute, but that was another thing). 

“hey, let me take you home.”  “haha, i thought we said we were just going to be friends?”  “i can’t take my friends home to make sure they’re safe?”  “hmm…well, if you insist! who would’ve known you were such a gentleman~” 

❥ there wasn’t anything romantic about it, but there was a bit of a palpable tension between the two of you as he walked you home; the way your hands were just barely brushing against each other, the way you two were walking much closer to each other than friends would normally do, the stolen looks in the silent moments…ran knew you were feeling it too, but neither of you said anything. 

❥ there were no words spoke about it when the two of you arrived at your apartment, both of you just saying your goodbyes and leaving. ran is for the most part a patient man, so there’s a part of him that wants to keep quiet and see where everything goes. on the other hand, he wants to bring it up to you and maybe see where it takes the two of you. 

ranh_18: you looked good today. are you free on saturday? let me take you out for real this time.

❥ ran supposes he can be impatient every once in a while.

[peachphernalia]

thoughts... on the soul/whole dynamic... i feel like whole would be simultaneously flattered and creeped out that soul treats him like he's sacred. he just wants soul to understand he's Just Some Guy, and soul is like "you're so humble, it's incredible, how can you be so perfect?" because to soul, meeting whole is having a personal meeting with god Himself. meanwhile whole is just like "why is he looking at me like that. please just have a normal human conversation with me" while soul is following him like a loyal puppy

-sainteclectic {if you know that name, mostly this is so i don't forget my own ask lol}

hey sorry this took me 1 million years to respond to i was trying not to completely fly off the handle

cut because this got long Sorry

^ [actual thing i said]

deep breath . ok WELL.

i agree with much of what you said i definitely think whole is a wet cat of a man who doesn’t know how to cope with being loved in any substantial capacity much less Whatever This Is but i think it gets even more complicated because . well quite simply i think he’s not actually sure what a normal self image is supposed to be . he doesn’t know what he’s Supposed to have with soul . i mean it’s uncomfortable definitely it’s offputting for him [both because being worshipped like this is Unsettling & also just because the idea that he has any love in him is uncomfortable] but he thinks Maybe this is what it’s supposed to look like maybe self is just an uncomfortable concept . maybe it’s supposed to make him feel. like . This (?????)

i ALSO think he is a bit selfish . which i of course say with love & affection because i think that is a perfectly fine thing to be . the level of fanaticism he receives from soul is definitely more than he Wants & definitively more than he feels safe with but it’s like coming home freezing cold & then showering in the absolute hottest water possible to warm yourself up . very odd analogy but he’s sort of been starving himself of self love for so long that he will still rather gladly take Too Much by the handfuls

all this to say my interpretation of whole . i think would kind of never tell soul to stop ? sighh soul loves him & it is certainly too much but hes torn between [this should not be happening nobody should care about me this much there cannot be any piece of me that loves this wholly] & the part of him that doesn’t ever ever want soul to stop . so it sort of just ends up with him being weird & aloof & trying to be distant so he doesn’t have to keep feeling weird about it without ever actually asking soul to back off

he is certainly creeped out by the religious aspects of it though . absolutely . >^-^<

idk if Any of this ended up making sense deepest apologies if i am onto Nothing . explaining the way my whole interpretation works gets complicated because he jumps through like 5million psychological hoops to reach somehow the most inconclusive set of ideals the world has ever seen . & he’s horrifically hypocritical which makes things even more tricky

will perhaps elaborate further on soul’s half of things [the half i actually have more developed thoughts on] later but this post is getting longgggg

thank youfor the ask to my blog >^-^<

[communistkenobi]

Wrt your posting about the jedi taking on children, I disagree thst the argument about force sensitive people 'need' to be trained for everyone else's safety. It's like Dragon Age mages or BNHA quirks, it's not special if someone can fireball me if they're having a bad day, some random person can already beat or strangle me with just their own two hands in the real world, no fireball necessary.

I mean idk I feel like Star Wars does a fairly decent job of establishing how dangerous force sensitivity can be - it’s not just extra strength or throwing things, but also mind control, healing (which i know is rare tbf), communicating with animals, etc. It also establishes how scary it can be to have those sorts of powers without knowing how to deal with them. I think Rebels does a good job of exploring this kind of thing with Kanan and Ezra.

However I also agree with you that it doesn’t “need” to be a problem, like force users are not inherently doomed to darkness/violence unless trained eternally across all space and time. But I think force sensitivity introduces a wholly organic way to accrue power (both physically in the sense that you’re more powerful and socially in that you have a type of organic ‘capital’ that can be used to gain social and political power in society, either because people adore you and want to follow you, and/or because they fear you), and having that type of power isn’t dependent on class position or family history*, it’s essentially random chance if someone is force sensitive or not. Which creates a threat to the types of societies depicted in Star Wars where there are durable ruling classes who want to maintain power.

And I think the Jedi Order offers a solution to this problem by capturing that type of ‘organic capital’ for lack of a better term; you monopolise an institution responsible for moulding force sensitive people into a particular type of subject - one that is not a threat to the prevailing societal order - and in exchange for being forced to be a Jedi you get massive amounts of privilege via access to knowledge, social status, material needs, and so on. While this creates civil unrest and distrust of the Jedi from a lot of laypeople, it’s a pretty sweet deal in the eyes of the Republic if it means not having to deal with rival force sensitive groups using their power to make political demands, especially through violence.

I think looking at it this way explains why the Jedi don’t really accept or allow any other type of force user, especially as they become more enmeshed with the Republic (the coven in the acolyte is a good example, the dathomiri witches, etc), and why a lot of force users who are not Jedi are labelled Sith, either because they adopt that label themselves or because they’re labelled that by the Jedi. And I’m not saying “the sith are just misunderstood victims” or whatever, but that in a scenario where you have a very powerful monastic order that controls how the rest of society understands and interacts with force sensitivity, force users who fall outside of that are going to be treated as a criminal class who are a threat to the republic (because they are - Maul is treated this way, Dooku and Anakin quite literally topple the Republic, etc). So like in the settings Star Wars tends to play in, force sensitivity is narratively understood as a source of incredible potential power, and capturing that power via an institution like the Order makes sure that power potential is not disruptive to prevailing society and power interests. Which is why I think the Jedi do have a fairly good rationale for taking kids and training them, even if that rationale is tied to the maintenance of the status quo - the Order’s power depends upon the maintenance of their own monopoly

*KIND OF. obviously some of the canon loves doing blood lineages with palpatine and shit, the midichlorian thing, etc. which sucks so bad. But general canon consensus as far as I know appears to be that anyone can potentially be force sensitive

[shiny-jr]

hello! this is like the first time I'm sent an ask on this app ever so i hope I don't embarrass myself 😭 this isn't a request at all so dw!! sorry if this is super long!!

I wanted to say how I loved you wrote the MC's in the damnation au. I was on your page when I saw someone talking about how the MC's act and how they are inherently bad people at heart and their actions show that.(That really captured what I had thought so kudos to them 👊🔥) I love the idea on bad people just doing bad people things for their own gain and reading their thoughts while also (somehow) gaining the attention and (obsessive) love of the other characters even if the MC's did not have the best intentions for them at all. Even if it was under the guise of wanting the best for them, I love how you portrayed that.

I also wanted to talk about how the MC's react to the characters idk how to word this but like confessing(??) their love with the intention of keeping by their side whether they like it or not and the MC's not being okay with that. I love how you wrote their reactions and how you just wrote that they are not happy at all with that arrangement.

Its probably just me but I don't like MC's who just go along with a Yan's and like love them. Its always felt very, very icky to me. This is probably just my own opinion but I don't like how some MC's focus on loving a Yan and ignoring the stuff they do for them or worse acknowledging it and just flat out ignoring it or seeing it as some weird love language. But what makes this worse for me is how readers react to a Yan's actions. I never liked how readers would comment that "it's so hot that their doing bad things for us" or like "OMG like take me" like um ew??? This would also apply to authors since I mean they are the ones writing it. I love the MC's not liking being kept under lock and wanting their freedom. I also like how the MC's don't grow attached to the Yan's in the story and how their just playing along.

Anyways, I just wanna say I love your writing and this au. The concept is super interesting and I love how the MC's are written and portrayed. I'm looking forward to more!!

Feel free to ignore this and super sorry if this feels really wordy!! Thank you!

Don't apologize, I love reading super long messages that go into depth like this! My only regret is that I usually don't know what to say by the end of it, especially without sounding repetitive if a previous ask brought up similar topics. The point is, I don't want to sound like a broken record, agreeing or disagreeing and saying the same things over and over again.

Anyways, I think one I haven't talked about too much is the acceptance of yanderes. I have talked about it here and there, but not as much as other topics. You'll never see me writing an mc that truthfully and wholly accepts the yandere. The only instance of an mc accepting a yandere that I will write, is if the mc is using them and doesn't truly love/want them. Such as the mcs from damnation that play along with the roles to reach whatever devious goal they have in mind. So yeah, I agree with you on that part.

I can't think of much else to add because I only recently woke up, so sorry about that. 😭

[theyonagoda]

if ur still doing the character ask thing, idk who've been asked so dealer's choice- irving, tom hartnell or morphin?

Hi, I'll take Irving!

First impression: "...What the heck is everyone talking about? Just who is this guy?" (I got exposed to the fandom before I watched the show.)

Impression now: I love the cuteness aggression in the way people talk about Bible Boy and wholly agree with the sentiment that he shall be dipped in milk and thrown against the wall and feminized and dropped in a blender and... well, you know. The people on here are insane (lovingly.)

Favorite moment: Him with Koveyook! Like, just the raw vulnerability and humanity, the imperalistic shell being shorn off, I'm sorry, I'm not good with words. but I love it.

Idea for a story: Holy Ghost Boy backstory

Unpopular opinion: I think he gets very often mischaracterized because people focus more on his most vulnerable moments; he's not just an awkward, repressed trembling chihuahua! Of course I know most people are joking around, but still.

Favorite relationship: More Koveyook shilling here, I wish they interacted more, etc etc.

Favorite headcanon: Jokingly, the fandom consensus that he is absolutely hung like a horse. Non-jokingly, that by 1846-7 he's taken up chain-smoking again to deal with stress (it's historically accurate! He was a smoker for a while.)