#idk sorry if this comes off as whiny or like. i don't care about other people's real struggles

[masterofmaagnetism]

loving the hostile pride months these past few years but not how it's targetted almost exclusively towards other queers

[highhhfiveee]

safety net, part three

part two: 🚿 | part four: 🏆

pairing: pornstar!mike schmidt x blackfem!reader summary: y/n gets a taste of mike's world and things begin to shift. wc: 3.1k tags: lots of mentions of porn, smut (descriptions of sex being filmed, featuring unprotected sex, dirty talk, clit rubbing, squirting, some workplace intimacy lmao), angst?, exposition! proofread many times but if there are still errors, idk what to say lmao

“wow."

"i know right," you say plainly, eyes wide at your best friend, claire, as you take a large gulp of your hot latte. claire cuts her gaze to you, puffing her cheeks out in a sigh. you were always so in awe by her, the feeling proved once again when she'd actually agreed wholeheartedly to view your boyfriend's porn.

"i still don't believe that you're dating him," she sputters with outrage as she points to your computer on the dining room table, open to a still of mike with dick in hand, coming on some dark-haired girl's keen face. "and i don't believe it even more so because you decided to wait six months before telling me. i thought we were best friends!"

you can tell her outrage is whimsical by the way she faints into your arms, and you reach forward to catch her. 

"yeah but, like, best friends from adolescence that don't see each other very often. last time i saw you was three months ago." 

"okay, but by then you'd been dating him for three months, and that's almost half a year!" 

"barely, claire." 

you couldn't even believe that you were dating him. you hadn't known how you two went from meeting outside an underwhelming, overpriced restaurant to making out and cuddling intimately in mike's bed four out of seven days a week. it'd felt like no time had passed at all; you'd just been living without thinking. mike took every worry off your shoulders, freeing you of anxiety in so many ways that you couldn't believe someone that caring and accommodating was real.

he paid for your sessions after you'd mindlessly rambled about not being able to afford this therapist you really liked. he sent you the credentials to his grocery delivery membership, encouraging you to get anything you wanted or needed. you could finally consistently get things that were good, and healthy. he paid your rent, and respected the fact that you didn't want to move in with him and wanted autonomy to work and pay for your other personal expenses.

"i just want you to be happy. you tell me what you want, and we'll make it happen."

he had you and it didn't feel real. you felt like you couldn't tell anyone about it, terrified that everything would crumble if you spoke even a word about him being your partner, so sweet and good and rewarding. you didn't want to hide him, but you didn't want things to collapse. not this time. 

you wouldn't be able to take it this time. 

you explain all this to claire, ending with, "i'm sorry it took so long. i just really want this to last." you'd told her about everything, even about dating simon briefly and how he led you to mike. 

claire nods, chewing on a wedge of pineapple speared by a fork. she's given up her fainting performance, once again munching on her breakfast and clicking the pad on your laptop. the video you two were watching resumes, and you watch her face for bit, eyes shifting around the screen in intrigue, before turning back to it as well.

"you deserve it, y/n. that simon guy sounded like a dickhead. an expired card, and the bathroom excuse? fucking lame." her voice doesn't chop through the amplified sound of both mike and the girl moaning, whiny and feral. they're absolutely gone, and you're really not thinking about simon anymore. fuck him. 

now, you thought of mike.

granted, you hadn't been like the people in mike's videos, up to a certain point. you'd done the kissing and the heavy petting, but you hadn't had sex at all, in any form, and he didn't pressure you into feeling like it was some sort of requirement. he agreed with taking it slow, placing emphasis on the romantic before the sexual. you knew there would be no issues with the sexual; why rush into it when you could have the slow burn, all the tension you wanted up until you were ready?

mike hadn't fought it, and yeah, you thought, you did deserve it. you deserved to be treated like this. 

"called me over for an art date, i guess you still painted," the girl mewls with a devilish smile, licking at mike's---sorry, chase cox's---come around her mouth. 

"mhm, baby. masterpiece, if i do say so myself." mike is so pretty on the screen; sweaty and flustered, but so confident at the same time, polite too. even when he's in an act, he's so attentive; he moves hair away from eyes and wipes spit off chins and cradles waists while he adjusts his hips to hit various angles, turning almost everyone he filmed with into a "braindead fucktoy"---claire's filthy words, not yours (though you didn't mind the idea). 

the video ends with a snippet of aftercare, the both of them wiping at each other's bodies with gentle motions. it's how they all end, and you think it's really nice, showing a crucial part of sex that most people forgo. you'd seen plenty of mike's videos by now, and knew that while some were vastly more kinky than others, they all followed the same formula of care, concern, and curtesy. 

you could tell mike lived by that, too. 

"well, i gotta scoot to work," claire murmurs, leaning down to grab for her bag. "but thank you for inviting me to breakfast so you could show and tell me that you've been dating a wildly handsome, generous, and charismatic sex worker. best videos i've seen by far, honestly. are you seeing him today?" 

you nod sheepishly, and claire laughs into the sky, doctored with comical bitterness. "well, let the record show that i am both extremely jealous and extraordinarily happy for you." she gives you a toothy smile, poking at your shoulder with both index fingers. "seriously. you deserve it all." 

you carry this thought with you as you ride in one of the company's chartered cars, traversing through the roads to their main studio, the biggest one in the city. there were only 4 throughout the metro area, but this one, a gigantic penthouse isolated at the top of a 275-foot tall apartment complex, had the most space and atmosphere of them all. you remember coming here to take your picture for the all-access card mike had given you. he was so happy to gift it to you a few months ago, finally getting through after bugging the execs to give him another card with unhindered access for months. 

"finally got the hard copy, just for you. got your name on it and everything," he'd smiled so wide, clipping it on one of his merch lanyards; white with black, serif text that read, "chase cox world domination". you'd fallen over in laughter, kissing at his cheeks while thanking him between giggles. 

you hadn't been here many times over the last three months, but when you were, you were able to slip through every door and security checkpoint without hassle. people knew who you were and attended to you, telling you exactly where mike was in the studio or offering to get you any refreshments or sundries you were after. you'd always declined, extending extreme gratitude to everyone servicing you, but today, you ask for a bottle of fancy artesian water. you deserve it. 

the few times you'd been here before were usually half-hours after mike had finished a scene, helping him pack up to head home for the day, but this time, you'd come early, wanting to catch a glimpse of him at work. 

you take the elevator to the top, stepping out into the concrete foyer of the industrial workspace. the gray of the material was accented with bright art and other pops of color in furniture and decor that conveyed the new age principles and ideology of the production company. it made sense why the videos were so honored, with the people behind them being young and progressive and on the right side of history (and design). 

there are eight rooms on the floor; three for shooting, three for aesthetics and dressing, one for an office, and one for storage. there were bathrooms in three of them and two down the main hallway that opened into the formal living room/break area and kitchen. you'd been told that mike was in the hunger room; this one set up for messier, more bodily fluid oriented videos, as opposed to the softer passion and kinkier desire shooting rooms. 

the rooms are all hidden behind frosted, sliding glass doors with the titles printed onto placards affixed next to them. you find hunger after walking a little, and gently pull on the handle. the door slides open soundlessly, and you're closing it behind you as you step inside, your eyes locked on the scene in front of you. 

mike and his partner are arranged on a leather couch in a living room set, his hips shoving into her in this perceptive way. he's reading her body language and reacting accordingly, and you can see why she's moaning so genuinely, feet dangling by the ankle over mike's shoulders. the couch is already drenched in liquid, wet and puddled under the girl's ass.

he grabs for the back of the couch to go deeper, leaning down to press kisses on her lips as the cameraman focuses in on where they're connected. the sound is so lewd, and it makes you press your thighs together as you watch alongside the small production crew. 

"feel good? happy to have a friend like me? someone who knows you, knows your body? someone who makes you feel better and come harder than your stupid fucking boyfriend?" his partner mewls out a broken, exasperated, "y-yyesssss" between gritted teeth as her moans get higher and higher pitched. suddenly, she's reaching at mike's back to scratch at his skin, screaming out as mike leans off to the side of her, massaging his fingertips over her clit and cooing, "yeah, just let go. know he's never made you feel like this, wasting this perfect pussy..."

his partner squirts against the camera with a screech, loud and raw but pretty. the lens is covered in a heavy spray of bodily fluid as she arches her back and grinds her mound into mike's hand, chest rising and falling at a rapid rate. "that's fucking it," he encourages, speaking in her ear as he looks down at the mess in his peripherals and rides her through it. "just the way you deserve." you swear he locks eyes with you when he says it, and he only confirms it with the small smirk he throws your way, managing to fit it into the ending of the shot. his eyes twinkle through the aftercare segment, and he talks with his spent coworker, calling, "she just wants to sit for a second" to a PA with a chuckle. 

"okay, ten minute break and then we're shooting the come shot."

her legs slowly straighten out as mike throws the towel he's handed around his waist and slides his feet into the slippers stored behind the couch. he grabs a water from an outstretched hand as he makes his way over to you, smelling like sweat and sex and glistening with this nearly angelic post-fuck glow. it's like he's coming down from the gates of porn heaven.

"hi, my love," he muses, pulling you into a tight hug before saying, "how much did you see?" 

"like right before the squirting. it's very..." you're not sure what to say, really. maybe, just maybe, you need to change your underwear, but you don't want to be weird about it. you're sure he's heard weird, and beyond weird, but you want to maintain composure in front of his coworkers. you give him a tight smile, resting your hand on his pulsing bicep. "just makes me think things." 

"maybe we should add 'thought-provoking' to the list of labels for the company," he jokes, taking a sip of water while winking at you. "you're a genius, baby." 

you're giggling along with him, opening your mouth to continue the joke when two tanned arms reach from behind him to cross in an X over his chest. a head peeks from behind him, and she's immediately unmistakable to you. 

it's his current scene partner, who is also the girl from the video you watched earlier today. the one eager for his come, whining for him to make a mess of her face while letting him beat his dick on her tongue. you think back to all of the videos you've seen her in where she's with mike. she always comes the hardest working with him, and vice versa. something about it makes you sick. 

she's smiling at his cheek, eyes focused on his as he turns his glance towards her. her arms get tighter around him and you notice how she gets closer, pressing her front tighter against his back. "caught your breath?" 

"you know i always do," she brags, licking at her canines as her stare moves to you, looking you up and down with snarky scrutiny. "casting department's starting to slack." 

you shrink, feeling so small that you don't feel like you're interrupting something anymore. you might as well just not be there, and you're about to sink into pitiful posture when mike snarls, "hey, watch yourself. y/n, this is amelie, and li, this is y/n, my girlfriend. i told you about her." the sound of mike saying the nickname turns to bile in your throat, searing you on the way down and keeping you from speaking.

amelie gives you a blank expression now, standing beside mike with no qualms at being fully naked in front of a stranger. "y/n, y/n...not ringing any bells," she places her hands on her hips, tossing her dark, sex-tousled hair over her collarbones. "sorry."

you don't know why you're daunted by her; you're usually daunted by no one, and able to speak up for yourself when people are acting catty. this time, you can't help but be unnerved by her perfection, or how close she is to it. perfect skin, perfect hair, perfect body, perfect boobs...

"i'm kidding," amelie's smooth, beguiling voice rips you from your thoughts, and you're gasping for something to say when she continues, "he's shown me endless pictures, and knows that i think you're gorgeous." her tone picks up the tiniest bit as she quips, "my eyes are up here, by the way." she's throwing you off, frustrating you in so many ways and you're just stammering with mike looking between the two of you.

"i'm sorry---"

"it's really fine. millions of people have seen them, everyone's always thirsty for more of me and chase cox..." she drags the end of her sentence out as she runs the tips of her long, cherry red nails along the back of mike's neck, ending in a laugh.

"'mike schmidt' isn't a porn name, we already had this conversation." 

"neither is chase cox, if we're being real," they launch into a chitchat, and you once again feel like you're intruding. there's no denying that they have insane chemistry, but it still rips at you;  you're aware of them having an entire moment in front of you, complete with the body language and glances and suddenly, you don't care about their connection. mike was your boyfriend, and it didn't matter what she said or did. they'd made so many videos together, yet, every night he came home to you, and not her. 

"yeah, well you're still moaning chase when you come," 

"because i can't dox you like that--"

you clear your throat noisily, gaining their attention with an eyeroll, and amelie observes you and your curled lip with recognition of your game. she didn't expect you to have bite, not with the way you look now. you're not the assertive, 'take-no-shit' girl from the pictures mike showed her. she thinks you're merely a hint of that, and that it completely evaporates when someone lights a fire under your ass, but maybe she's wrong for once. "watched a bunch of your stuff. it was really good, you're talented." 

"thanks," her gratitude is dry and bitchy, and you're about to say more when a PA calls a two minute warning and she squints her eyes into slits at you. "hope you're ready to see a lot more of me." she uses mike's shoulder to pivot with a sly smirk, sauntering back to the now wiped down leather couch, ripples coursing through her ass with every step. 

you look to mike with astonishment, wondering where he's been during this whole thing, and who that girl is, and if she's genuine bad news or simply one of those callous girls that guys love to chase.

mike had defended you, sure, but he'd gotten captured too. what if she's indoctrinating him some--

"she's nice," you blurt, stopping yourself from the overthinking you'd resorted to. you needed to be nice to yourself. you deserved this, deserved everything you had with mike. nothing was taking that away from you, and you could feel secure in that. mike would reassure you.

he does, saying, "isn't she?" with a snicker. "don't worry about her, okay? it's her personality, and she does everyone like that, so she's not just targeting you. ignore her, and if you don't like the small jokes either, i can tell her to knock it off. whatever you want. also, lunch after i wrap?" 

you nod your head, about to say something again when the PA announces that it's time for shooting to start back up. mike gives you a fat kiss on the lips as he drops his towel into a director's chair next to you, and makes his way back over to amelie folded on the couch. her knees are by her chin at a filthy angle, and she's using a squeeze bottle with a tapered tip to squeeze shiny lube all over her clit and both holes. 

mike watches, rubbing his hand all through it to spread it around. amelie bites at her lip as he does, staring up at him with eyes that are filled with unadulterated lust, and he uses the leftover lube on his dick, stroking the slippery surface as he gets harder and harder in his hand. 

the director asks them if they're ready, and when they both answer yes, she says, "okay, we're gonna go insertion, sink in, wait five for the kiss, and go from there. alright...rolling...action." 

amelie flicks her eyes to you in a leer, winking at you like mike did earlier as he plunges into her sopping wet walls. her head falls back against the couch while she outstares you, open-mouthed moans transitioning into "cockdrunk" laughs that you know are calculated.  

you begin to chug your bottle of water, deliberately ogling her in return. you were down with playing a game for two, but not for long. 

lord. the hell i've gone through to get this up /: lmao i need to go to bed. things are about to heat up, so prepare yourselves for what's next to come!

faire's seedlings ✿

@leahdhopkins4321-@pyr0-kai-@angstywhore-@sunazroo-@nyxthoughtss-@mirophobic-@fayethor-@marixsimps-@regretfulme-@ithinkitszeph-@707xn-@cattt777-@violetta-ximena-@amnesia33-@topnerd03-@fastnights-@laprvphette-@savage-aespa-@mfdxz-@0-tatiana-0-@dusstory-@delwrites-@mikeschmidtgf

[weabooweedwitch]

I say this as someone who's followed you for years and with as much kindness as possible:

Get the fuck away from your mother. Ditch her fuckin ass. She's repeatedly making things worse and refuses to learn. You need to get away from her, for your own good.

I know I might be repeating what other people have said, or even what you have thought of doing, but holy shit this bitch is actively ruining your life through sheer stupidity.

I hope things get better

I feel bad that people have to keep giving me this kind of advice because I realize it's the most obvious answer, and there are multiple reasons separating from my mother would be good for us both. I feel bad that i keep sharing all these worrying stories and worrying people and then at the end of the day, I'm way too scared to actually try and fix things. I just worry so much about not being able to take care of myself, not being able to drive, what if I go somewhere and it's harder if not impossible for me to get to work, just. I worry about everything. Honestly the thing that worries me the most is keeping my job or not being able to transfer if I went somewhere else. My wage is currently $19 an hour, my 58 yo mom was making $22, so like, I'm helping hold it all together with rent BECAUSE of that income. I'm so scared of losing that.

I've had people ask if there's any family I can go to and the only possible option would be maybe my father who is in another state, I cannot remember if it is in Illinois or Missouri (ugh, they may have passed recreational weed but thats the only good thing thats came outta thar state in like the last 2 decades). And I don't know if that would be good either. But it's an option I'm beginning to consider. But I am sort of still in the reconnecting process with my dad and we've butted heads a few times and he also has his own physical and emotional issues. Actually I think he is where I inherited a lot of mental illness from because he also has an anxiety disorder and we are almost positive he has equinus like me. He also has developed type 2 diabetes and I am really bad with sugar impulse control, what if I hurt my dad because I can't stop bringing sweets into the house and he eats them too 🥺

It just. Personally makes me hate myself to even think of "hiya pops, we've barely spoken in the last 10 years, I've been really ahitty about talking to you consistently since we've said hi again and lost my temper with you a few times, hey I know you're on a fixed income and out of a job right now (or was, maybe he has one now, we've spoken so little idk) but is it OK if I come live in your house as a whiny codependent barely functioning weed addict of an adult?" 😅

But yeah I just. This is really. It just never ends. I keep fighting myself and beating myself up on "who's right, am I right, am I wrong, am I overreacting, whats going on, what do I do, someone tell me what to do because I'm too stupid to do things right" and it's just. I also still love my mother even if that love is being increasingly mixed with resentment. I worry about her ability to take care of herself because her health is getting worse and, like, I worry about her mentally a lot. Like this tooth infection she has, is because she doesn't have the best dental hygiene, and had fillings and such, and even after needing fillings still takes shit care of her teeth, and was putting off getting like broken teeth and such taken care of, and, they're now having to pull SEVEN of her back teeth. She'll need dentures to eat certain foods now. And I'm not better, I basically stopped brushing my teeth for many years because I literally expected to be dead before they rotted out of my mouth and now I'm scrambling to adopt that routine again, and also like.

Sorry but my mom and a dentist literally lied to me when i was a little girl and said i had several cavities because they thought i would be scared into brushing my teeth and all that did was convince me everything was pointless and needed to give up since it was already damaged, and she refuses to apologize or even acknowledge how that literally helped me develop a complex and felt helpless when SHE LIED TO ME, A CHILD, HER CHILD (and also i think my difficulty keeping routines is a combination just needing to apply myself and having adhd issue because like, I've been pretty good with my skincare at least)

I just. I love her but I hate her. If I'm not careful to keep myself calm I'm going to escalate to the physical level. And to be honest I've had the opinion for many years that, all those times my mom told extremely age inappropriate stories to little tiny baby Miranda about her experiences with assault and domestic violence, even as a kid I would think, "well you like don't listen, you shut people down, you insist youre always right, I want to hit you all the time too, maybe it wasn't them but maybe you got yourself hit by constantly pushing everyone around you to their breaking point" like clearly that's not a healthy thought to have and I. I am kind of convinced at this point that almost every single bad thing that had ever happened to this woman was her own fault in some way shape or form. But you could also say that about me

What's scary is that I can't even think of going anywhere without having savings first and I'm constantly being pushed to my limits to the point I don't HAVE any savings, it's all getting sucked up. I dunno how else I can get out of this pit and I'm just, mentally worn down from any entire life of this. I feel useless and exploited at home and then I go to work and feel useless and exploited at work and by society. Like. Life feels so bleak. My Canadian friend is getting in worse health. I still have a lot of affection for him but he's also uh done and said a few things I really disagree with on personal levels and it, gives me some pause, like. I genuinely am so sad all the time. I need to go back to the psychiatrist to get some medicines again but, I am working and making enough money that after my state insurance expires in October, I'll have to go through my work, and that doesn't 100% cover everything so, j wouldn't be able to afford anything at that point

Just. Ugh. I try to write down my thoughts and listen to music and try to write on my other blog to cheer myself up but I just. What can you do right. What am I good for. What is anyone good for. What is this world itself good for. Our entire species is gonna go extinct with climate change anyways. Why should I keep struggling and suffering like this when it's. Idk. Arguably all for nothing. We'll all be nothing more than just dogs following commands and paying bills until we die

[ikamigami]

Though while I agree that Sun numbed a lot of his emotions..

I just - and I mean I'm probably most likely wrong cause like honestly I doubt that VAs know what depressive psychosis is and guilt delusion and all that stuff so there's no way that my perspective on Sun is right but it's whatever I guess idk so anyway - I just think that Sun was more like tired but in the sense that "why Moon still blames himself when things are my fault".. Sun (at least to me) always seemed to want to help Moon realize that the things that happened to them aren't his fault.. or that's what Sun always thought..

And it somewhat fits with what he told Earth "sometimes I don't know how to help".. he sounded sad.. because he was never able to help Moon realize that things aren't his fault that Sun really don't blame Moon.. but himself..

To me it seems that Sun doesn't want to talk with Jack about his feelings anymore because he said that Jack didn't understand him.. and I really think that it's all about the guilt that Sun feels for how Moon and later Nexus turned out to be.. their suffering and mental issues..

I feel like Sun doesn't care about what will happen to him as long as he won't die solely because he doesn't want to leave his family.. because he knows exactly how it feels when your family member dies.. he went through this so many times..

For me Sun doesn't want to share his feelings on any matter that may reveal how guilty he feels.. that he blames himself and feels like he's a bad person..

But like I said.. it's how it looks like to me.. but 1) I'm not the writer of this show so idk what VAs has planned for Sun 2) things could've pretty much changed regarding Sun's story arc cause like this show has over 2 years so a lot of things happened in VAs lives that could shape later parts of story and 3) I heavily doubt that Sun actually has depressive psychosis cause it's not that common and like Davis said himself they only show stuff that either they themselves experienced or their friends.. which is understandable tbh..

I'm trying to comes to terms with it.. that only I and maybe a few other people see Sun this way - depressive psychosis with guilt delusion etc - cause it's highly unlikely that's true..

As much as I doubt that Sun will become Dark Sun 2.0 it's still more likely than what I think about Sun tbh.. heck even theory that Dark Sun is actually Sun from the future is more likely than what I think about Sun..

And that's okay cause this is VAs story and not mine..

It only hurts a little solely because I had learned the hard way that people don't understand how it is to feel guilty on delusional level.. how it is to feel like you're the worst person ever.. but that's my personal experiences..

But idk VAs and their personal experiences that they later base their characters on.. so I'm trying to get over it a little bit..

If later it'll turn out that I was completely wrong about Sun I maybe continue writing my fic as an AU.. if I really will still feel like it.. cause for now it kinda sucks that no one understands - I don't want to sound too whiny I just wanted to get this off of my chest but I'm sorry for this rant in your reblogs QwQ (if it annoys you let me know and I'll delete this later, okay ^^)

Sun (the first time) Nexus indirectly almost killed Earth: Nooooo.... My life is crumbling. Why... How... How could you do that to Earth.... You are not supposed to kill your family.... I couldn't do it... I couldn't face Nexus... I couldn't choose....

Crying, mental breakdown with Jack.

Sun (after the nth times Cain instinct attempting of Nexus): I want to say I am disappointed or angry but honestly, I know it would happen.

Tired, unphased, so blatantly and not even depressed speaking with Jack.

The contrary here is awesome. Sun alone in the raining night with Jack and Sun surrounded by almost everyone with Jack.

Sun, what are you talking about? You and Nexus have talk? Because all I saw was he was chasing your ass around Bunny Bowling and kept screaming at your ears.

It is sad that Sun still holds on to the hope that Nexus could change. The way he is still so hesitant on the idea is to put down Nexus, making my heart warm.

Also... Sun kinda dismissive his feelings, again. Even though he almost gets kidnapped and has some better than Moon but worse than Solar treatment, he never talks about what Nexus has told him with anyone else, even when he is rambling to Jack, again, the only person he kinda feels comfortable to rant with.

I don't know what direction the show will go... But I suddenly feel like Sun has less and less emotion the more the story progresses. Like he wasn't even sad anymore, just accepted it and moved on...

[yeongwvnhi]

Them as your college boyfriend

—

Pairing - Oneus x genderneutral reader

Genre - fluff, angst, suggestive (yet again the whole package)

Warnings - bullying, language, nosebleed, two vague mentions of sex (for the jokes) but of course nothing explicit

Taglist - @twancingyunhoe

Word count - idk,, sth between 1k-2k words

》><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><《

Youngjo

Most likely your seat mate or classmate first of all

Since he's such a sweetheart everyone loves him

A lot of girls in your class probably have a crush on him

He befriended you at the start of the first semester because he just immediately liked you (platonically at first)

Guess that didn't sit right with some of your fellow classmates

Let's assume you're not his seat mate for this

The jealous girls who sit behind you are talking shit about you and laughing

Some might even throw balls of paper at you with insults written on them

Of course Youngjo notices that something isn't right because you're acting weird

He's going to ask you repeatedly what's wrong

But you won't tell him because you think it's silly and that they will just stop

Of course it sadly doesn't work like that

The girls go even further,, purposely hitting your shoulder when passing by

Or tripping you

They even go as far as to spread rumors

And when they finally reach Youngjo he's going to be FURIOUS

First of all he's going to look for you to comfort you

But when he sees the girls in your class cornering you he gets mad again, yelling at them to back the fuck off

They try to pretend like they don't know what's going on, but quickly run away when he looks like he's gonna explode

Youngjo is going to hug you tightly and tell you that it's going to be okay and that he's there for you anyways

And even though this is a shitty timing, tells you that he really likes you

Of course you say that you like him back and he asks you out djjxjdg

After that he'd quickly make it a point that both of you are off-limits and he'll protect you

Will probably walk you to all your classes, even if you don't share them and give you a kiss in front of the classroom

Nobody messes with you anymore and you finally found nice friends

They always tease you for Youngjo being so protective, but they're not serious because they understand where he's coming from

And because he's a little shit you bet your ass he will always manage to give you at least one hickey

Because he's possessive but in a good way 💔

Seoho

You only share one class with him and that is chemistry

He immediately caught your eye from the first lesson you shared because he sits diagonally in front of you

Ironically he was kind of late on that day and clumsy him forgot his pencil case

So he turned around and went "pssst"

When you looked up at him, confused and all, he shyly smiles and asks if you've got a spare pen

Lucky for him, you never leave the house with less than two pens, so you lend it to him

"You can just give it back when we see us next time" you tell him and he thanks you a few times before going on to do his task

After that day you couldn't get that small encounter out of your head

Why? Because the two guys behind you gossip a lot,, saying Seoho is mean and cold etc

So next week when you have that class again Seoho sits down next to you instead of his original seat

He smiles at you and holds out your pen towards you "Thanks a lot for last week, you really saved my ass"

You tell him it's no big deal and introduce yourself to him finally

Turns out it's very fortunate for you that he decided to sit next to you now because you're not getting anything the professor is teaching

Seoho sees you struggling and kindly explains everything you don't understand

After that the two of you become really close and even hang out after classes to grab something something drink or to eat

This goes on for a few months before you finally just gain the courage to talk to him about your feelings

"What did you want to talk about?" He asks you after your classes for the day are over, the two of you met behind the building for more privacy

"I uhm... realized that I really like you... I just wanted you to know that" you tell him rather quietly, but he heard it all very clearly

"I really like you too, Y/N!" Seoho smiles brightly at you when you meet his gaze, and asks if you want to go out with him

Of course you say yes!! Jxjdnh

So since you knew he wasn't a big fan of PDA or skinship in general you never really initiated much of it unless he decided he wanted to hold hands or hug you

Of course that went differently when you weren't in college

Mostly he was chilling over at your apartment/house/dorm after classes were over for the two of you

He loves to give you random kisses out of nowhere or just grab your hand to play with your fingers

If you were over at his place, you'd just be chilling somewhere or you'd be laying in his lap and taking a nap after a stressful day while he was stroking your hair

But there were also days where he texted you in the middle of a lecture to meet him in the hallways of the toilets

When you got there he just pulled you behind the corner to make out with you for a good two or three minutes just to walk away shortly after, telling you that's all what he wanted

"Are you serious?! I hate you" you'd grumble and walk away, pissed off because he left you all riled up

Whenever he did that, you'd straight up ignore him until classes were over just to get him all whiny and clingy, begging for your attention and saying how he was sorry

Geonhak

You two befriended each other during the last year of high school and coincidentally enrolled into the same college, so you were glad to have someone you knew

Sadly you two didn't share a lot of classes, so you only saw each other during the breaks or after classes were over

But you had each other's number so it wasn't all too bad

He'd often text you during his free periods how he was so bored and that he hated the teacher he had for the next class

You'd jokingly tell him to stop being a baby and to toughen up

Of course he'd get cocky and say how he already was tough since he works out a lot, always getting you flustered when he (jokingly) offered to demonstrate it to you

Everyone knows the two of you as the bickering duo because you're always at each other's throats, but the second someone says something mean to one of you it's on sight

Geonhak always (again, jokingly) complains about how difficult or annoying you are, but he'd never let someone bad-mouth you on his watch

You also bet that he's always going to pick you up when you've got a shared class next or when classes are over

And he's going to walk you home (whether that be actually home or just the dorms)

Right from the beginning everyone just automatically assumed y'all are dating

But you aren't ✨surprise✨

Of course Geonhak soon realizes that he actually has feelings for you

And the second he's sure of it, he tells you

Like... in the middle of the walkway on your way from college

Of course you're perplexed and need a few seconds to comprehend what the hell he just said to you

When it finally clicks, you tell him that you feel the same

I swear the cutest, most wholesome smiles breaks out on his face and he hugs you

Catching you off guard yet again, but you hug him back

From then on the two of you stopped denying the questions about dating, and all your friends are like "we knew right away"

Even though Geonhak also isn't big on PDA or skinship, he doesn't mind holding your hand or giving you a quick peck here or there

But behind closed doors he's just a giant teddy bear, always wanting to cuddle

Or, well.... or he's gonna be pinning you against the next best wall the second you two are alone

Keonhee

He's your seat mate in all the classes you share

Which are... literally almost all wnjdjdjfh

You're just bound to become friends, so lucky for you that Keonhee is such a nice and cute guy, trying to help you out whenever he can

For example that one time when you forgot your P.E. bag in the last classroom and were just on your way back

There was Keonhee, meeting you halfway and handing you your bag with a chuckle and ruffling your hair "be careful with your stuff" He jokes and smiles before leaving

That's what made you fall in love with his unnecessarily tall ass in the first place

You decided to be subtle about your feelings and just opted for asking him about stuff concerning your curriculum or assignments more often than usual

But Keonhee isn't stupid, of course he noticed how you seem to be initiating more conversations with him

He didn't mind at all though, he thought you were cute and he already knew that he had a crush on you

Keonhee was also rather popular among the girls, so you decided to not get your hopes up just in case

Well lucky you because he decided he wanted to confess to you on a Friday to give you time with your answer

So he asked you to meet him behind the gym after your P.E. class, saying he's got something important to tell you

That phrase left you on your toes all day and you had a hard time concentrating in your P.E. class

Which led to you getting a volleyball right on your nose, causing it to bleed and someone had to take you into the gym's infirmary room so you could lie down

At least your nosebleed stopped after 5 minutes, so you washed up and checked if your nose was okay

Luckily your nose is fine and you can continue class with your mind now more focused on paying attention

After class is done, you wash up, get changed and then realize that Keonhee is waiting for you behind the gym, making your brain go haywire

When you meet him, his gaze instantly falls to your, still red tinted, nose

"What happened? Are you okay?" He immediately worries and gets in your face, flustering you unintentionally

"N-Nothing! Just a small accident!"

Keonhee pouts cutely and playfully scolds you for not being careful

Then you remind him that he wanted to tell you something

You watch him get nervous but that doesn't last long when he puts his big hands on your shoulders and meets your eyes

"I uhm I really like you, Y/N" He blurts out and you blink a few times, perplexed

Keonhee takes that as a sign to leave, but you stop him and also blurt out how you like him back

A huge smile breaks out on his face and he hugs you excitedly

After a few weeks everyone on campus knew you were dating and Keonhee wasn't shy on showing his love for you at any time or place

He'd always hold your hand, have his hand on your waist or give you back-hugs

Also loves to make out in empty classrooms during breaks, but you didn't hear that from me

Hwanwoong

Big surprise, but you've already been dating him before you entered college, so it was a huge bonus to hear you both made it into the same one

But sadly you don't share a lot of classes, so you always sit together during lunch and meet at who's locker is closer during breaks to talk

Word quickly went around and by the 2nd or 3rd week, pretty much everyone in the facility knew you two were dating and therefore off-limits

But of courseeeee it wouldn't be college without a little drama, right? So obviously there were girls who were hitting on Woong and guys/girls who were hitting on you

The two of have been dating for a long while though, obviously nothing would drive you apart

So the two of you had enough of the constant flirting that you just decided to be bold as fuck and made sure to make out whenever people were around who were hitting on you😳

Pretty soon everyone realized the two of you were happy together and FINALLY!! left you alone

But did that mean you two stopped being nasty in the hallways? Hell no

Your friends learned the hard way that it was better to not look for the two of you when you were gone during the breaks

Because one of your female friends had walked in on you two doing the dirty in an empty classroom at the end of a hallway 👁👄👁

Poor girl ran away for the sake of her eyes lmao

You two have no shame smh even the teachers make sure to leave you alone when you're not to be found at your lockers or in a hallway/the cafeteria

Surprisingly enough, you two were quite decent in your classes though

Your classmates would often come to you when they had problems with a topic

Woong and you even founded a study group for everyone in your year who needed help,, available every weekend aside from vacation

Everyone loves you guys even though you're nasties😭

At some point during the year there was a transfer student who didn't know you two are dating

So when he asked someone about your whereabouts, one of your friends deadass said that you're either eat each other's throats somewhere aka making out

Or that you were doing the deed

Poor guy thought they were joking and didn't listen to your friends' warnings and stupidly went looking for you

Instant regret is all I'm going to say here

So basically Woong is just your horny boyfriend who loves you to bits and pieces though and will fight anyone who dares to hit on you and vice versa

Dongju

Dongju is a transfer student and you got assigned to show him around and make him feel welcome

Of course you didn't mind and even though he looked really intimidating at first

He actually is really cute and a giant sweetheart 🥺

You became his first friend that day and you even exchanged numbers 👀

If he ever had a problem in finding a classroom or literally anything...

He'd come to you

He wouldn't even consider asking a teacher or whoever was close by

No, you were always his first option and I- he's so cute pls😭

Anyways,, after a month or two he got the important bits of the building down

You bet he will walk you to your classes and meet you after they're over

Because he just really likes you

And you quickly realize you like him too~

So you two meet up after the day of exhausting classes to get a bite to eat or have something to drink somewhere and talk about everything and anything that comes to mind

And a month or two again after getting even closer, Dongju decides to ask you out

He does it when you two are sitting in your usual cafe and you're so happy and excited,, immediately telling him that you'd love to go out with him

No one is surprised when they see you guys entering campus while holding hands and giggling to each other like little middle schoolers

But they all support you and wish you luck

Your friends will tease you for it but of course not in a mean way

Knowing that Dongju is a little inexperienced, you two take everything nice and slow and not rush anything

You tell each other whenever something bothers you, because it's important to build a relationship on communication and trust

Since Dongju is really mature, he handles everything like a professional 😳👍🏻

Your classmates are surprised about how you two never argue and just have such nice chemistry

I think that a relationship with Dongju is just very... well mature, because he handles everything so good

No one ever caught you two kissing in college or outside because you're not too big on PDA

It was mutually decided that holding hands and hugging is more than enough when you're out in the open

Doesn't mean you don't come to classes with hickeys on your necks occasionally tho 👀

[jangofctts]

(sorry for the format i think but this is loNG WTF IS WRONG W ME ITS INCOHERENT I'M LOCKIN MYSELF UP OFF TO HORNY JAIL I GO) deadass when you nd the boys are days away from being back on coruscant and on shore leave for a minute bc the general got some weird jedi shit to deal with is when u become peak Brat™ like it is so bad even the resident brat fuse can't keep up, the whole squad is screaming, and no one can stop u (yet) like you love teasing the boys but this is next level annoying like lets say max asks u to do something to help him get ready to fuck off for leave and ur just like no💕 i will cause problems on purpose))) he isn't happy and keeps asking while doing other work, realizes he's getting nowhere, and starts w the vague threats “you won’t like what happens if u keep this up” or “you really don't want to do this right now" but u finally do a few things to help before u leave to annoy void bc that man doesn't deal w enough shenanigans apparently...

u help void for a bit but get bored when void is just doing inventory and requisitions asking you how much of this or that nd you start saying "not enough" or "a fuckton" and while he appreciates the honesty it's not helpful but you ask "can't a droid do inventory? they know how to count?" getting a snarky reply of "yeah unlike you" obviously fed up but u continue to annoy him maybe cause mischief w the boys if they're there? maybe get handsy? threaten stupidity? who knows but anything u do is gonna get an exasperated sigh and "i'm gonna tell max about this shit" but what is he gonna do? punish u? [narrator: he, in fact does just that] so this goes on for a while but at some point when you are like 10 hrs out from coruscant max herds u to his quarters but lo and behold it's not bc he needs someone to fix his datapad but bc ur in for the punishment of ur life lol this man must have been planning this since ur first bratty act bc he has a bunch of stuff laid out just for u))) seeing this, u turn on the sad puppy eyes/pouty face and the "but i can be a good girl for u" or "i'm sorry i was just antsy to get back let me make it up to you" but nothing is gonna work now especially when he puts u over his knee.

he's pulling ur pants down over ur ass, revealing ur going commando today and u give him the "whats wrong maxy?" over ur shoulder just before he starts ur punishment isn't he sweet? he only spanks you a few times bc ur real punishment is SO MUCH worse and u realize this when he ties ur hands together over ur head and ties ur ankles together too hmmmmm this was more than u bargained for and u keep pleading with max when he takes his armor and blacks off but he keeps saying "u did this to yourself baby" and that he "can't help now" because "u didn't listen earlier like a good girl" but once he gets situated on the bed u know ur in for it. he grabbed some lube from his drawer and slicked himself up while telling u that "u won't be enjoying this part but i think i will" as he takes a hold of ur legs and lining himself up with not ur entrance but between ur thighs right above ur clit bc surprise! this ass and thigh man is gonna go to town fucking ur thighs while just grazing ur clit every few strokes absolutely working u up but no where near enough to get u off just like he planned. max really does love a good thigh fucking and so do u but he's usually playing with ur clit teasing u until he hits home and fills u up right - this time none of that is happening. u keep whining which just eggs him on more to bully u with "good girls deserve my thick cock but u decided to be a brat hm?" and "brats don't get to cum last time i checked" until he loses his rhythm and shutters as he cums all over ur stomach. he slowly gets out between ur thighs and runs his hands through the mess but ur still whiny so he shushes u with cum slick fingers before he gets up to grab his comlink just leaving the rest to get sticky (so rude)

he calls up void nd hear him say "my hip is acting up could u come look at it later?" with "did ur dumb ass do something again? give me a bit i'll head over" in reply with no idea what is waiting for him when he comes through the door. u have no idea how long it'll b until void comes so u keep trying to plead ur case to max telling him ur "sorry for being annoying and bratty i learned my lesson can i cum now?" but getting a surprising "lets see what void thinks" in return. its at least half an hour until void opens the door to see u tied to max's bed and him hovering over u just taunting and playing with u as he sees fit but honestly at this point nothing can really truly shock void now but this peaked his interest. max tries to explain saying "she was being a br-" "a brat i know i didn't think it would end up like this but" void starts as he takes off his remaining armor and ur begging for SOMETHING since max was so mean not even going near ur pussy (again rude) but thankfully void isn't a sadist (today) and starts teasing u by running his fingers through ur folds, playing with ur clit, and starts opening u up for him.

once he gets u good and wet he starts slowly rocking into u while u keep begging for him to give u permission to cum but he says that "brats don't get to cum they just get used))))" and ur thinkin ur definitely not gonna be cumming anytime soon but this mf just goes straight to pound town w the week/month/whatever he's had and the bratting u've done lol and u start clenching trying to get a rise out of him or get him to say something, ANYTHING but void won't give u the satisfaction of hearing his usual dirty talk, no, this is his version of punishment just letting u hear and feel him fuck u faster as he approaches his orgasm not caring about yours (yet) just feeling u tighten around him until he can't handle it and cums deep inside u just staying there for a minute catching his breath and u think void is done but oh lord no he is very much not lol he unties ur ankles and goes straight for ur pussy eating u out and cleaning up the mess he made inside and out, rutting into the sheets and making u squirm like nothing else maybe max wanders back over to you too and helps him out idk i was just having thots (since everyone is whore knee for wrecker rn i remember sending a wrecker ask a million years ago i can send it again if u want also i have a short fuse thing for u so))))) love being a whore)

ok bye im gonna be checking myself into the fuckin hospital THIS IS PURE GOLD IM

wOw

[bitxhmoonrising]

My ACOTAR Review (sorry if it's not what you expected)

TW for SA AND ABUSE - because for some reason that wasn't something the author felt like they needed to warn people about???

I decided to go ahead and finally read this book. After years of seeing it online, and the mixed reviews, I'm finally going to pick it up and give it a try. (Its just going to be in a point form list)

1. The first four chapters are weird, I have a hard time believing Feyre cannot read when they lost all of the money at 14, she should be able to read. She came from a very rich family, one in which the mother wished to marry off her daughters, and even if she did not like Feyre, education would be an important factor in marrying her off, it means they are wealthy. It's very hard to believe this fact, but I can look past it.

2. The relationship between the sisters is hilarious, it honestly reminds me of my own with my 4 other sisters. We used to call each other smelly and ugly, and said the rudest shit and I liked for once that I saw this in a book. Though, I think the author wanted them to be 'evil', but it just came off as more realistic then anything. And funny, honestly.

2.5 the father is an abusive POS. Clearly these 3 girls have been emotionally abused by both their parents to some extent.

3. I find myself rolling my eyes at her narration, she is very whiny. Hopefully that changes as her character develops or I'm not sure I can stand 5 books of this.

4. Do you expect me to believe, that Feyre would choose Tamlin, WHEN LUCIEN IS RIGHT THERE?!?!?! their relationship is so boring, to the point that I believe they wont end up together because the author was so lazy with it.

5. Tamlin sending Feyre away was probably the best thing he could do for her. I'm actually surprised the man could admit to her that he could not protect her instead of pretending, though Lucien's reaction makes me think there is something bigger about Tamlin's love confession. . (Ok, coming from finishing the book, the reasoning wasn't that climatic). Also, Rhysand can fuck the fuck off, slimy bitch.

6. Ok, Feyre and Nesta 🥺🥺 they are so cute. Though it seems Nesta character has gone through a bit of a change since the first four chapters. Nesta admitting she wasn't capable of taking care of the family like Feyre did such a big thing for her (but like, I'm also on the train that oldest siblings are not parents, because that's toxic thinking imo, and they are close enough in age for it to not bother me, idk.)  Feyre teaching Nesta to paint is so wholesome, it has my heart exploding.

7. Something happened with Tomas and Nesta, it was bad. I just know it. BUT NESTA GOING INTO THE WOODS FOR FEYRE HAS ME WANTING TO FAINT!! THE LOVE SHE HAS FOR HER.

8. I hope we get to see Nesta and Feyre together again at some point, I love their weird relationship. Me and my second youngest sister, who reminds me of Nesta, have a very similar dynamic and I see us in them. There love is one declared through action, not words. It's unspoken.

9. 100 pages of info dump and we are at he mountain.

10. NOT CLARE BEDDOR!! Also, why did Rhys even give the name??? Either the guy is truly evil, or a moron. Thankfully, Tamlin has some sense about him to keep his mouth shut and not let on how much she means to him because this Rice boy would happily fuck them over. I feel like the author is trying to make me like him, but I don't.

11. The answer is love (I'll delete this if I'm wrong).

12. WHY WAS THERE NO TW FOR SEXUAL ASSAULT IN THIS BOOK?!?!?! I DID NOT WANT TO READ THIS!!!! Rhysand can die and I hope he does. The entire drugging and assult scenes were disgusting and hard to read AND THIS IS A YA BOOK!!??!

13. Tamlin has a stone heart????

14. Wtf was this book?

My review

Feyre is ok, nothing I haven't read before. Think she should run away from all these men (including their abusive father) with her sissy's, but she wont. How she cannot see any red flags is beyond me.

Tamlin, meh.

Rhys, gross. Nothing he does makes sense.

Lucien, to good for this world. Must protect at all costs.

Rating: 3/5 because I wasn't horrible. Will still read second book.

[future-dregs]

Send Me a Fandom Ask Game

@nitghowl1600

Yu Yu Hakusho, I love that, thank you.

Let's dig in and see what the answers are.

The first character I first fell in love with: Hiei!

My sister actually read it first, and then we watched the anime together, and from the moment she showed me his first picture I knew I would love him. And I was RIGHT. He's a bastard gremlin (affectionate) and that's just the ones I like, so it was really no surprise that he rocketed right up to the top.

The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Yusuke. Despite being the MC, he was an absolute ASS (which was all part of his character development but I digress), and I really, REALLY didn't like him. Brash, crass, sexist, and irritating, I did not want to spend any more time around him than was strictly necessary. Now, of course, if you've seen any of my posts or tags, you'll see that he's shoved his way into my heart and I love him very dearly. He's amazing, and his growth, maturity, and tenderness are something outstanding.

The character everyone else loves that I don’t: Yoko Kurama. Idk who was a closet furry in that translations room, but giving the giant, muscled fox man a "time for spankings" line was a damn choice and a choice they kept on making. Every time he opened his mouth I braced in horror and despaired of what he would say, cause ALL OF HIS LINES ARE LIKE THAT. (My sister assures me that wasn't in the manga….that...I have yet to completely finish). I do not like Yoko Kurama. But the fandom does. Oh, how they do.

The character I love that everyone else hates: Itsuki. He's not great and his relationship with Sensui is (imo) weird at best and unhealthy at worst (though I wouldn't go so far as to that its abusive). But idk man, he's a compelling, interesting character. He's a demon, who was being hunted by Sensui and was about to be killed by him, but Sensui thought he was funny and hot I guess so he let him live and they started hunting together. After Sensui's horrific (in every absolute sense of the word, holy fucking shit) realization about the humans he had been working to protect, and he was so shattered and disturbed and at loose ends that he had to make multiple personalities to protect himself and process what happened to him, Itsuki stuck with him. They may not have dealt with what happened to them in the healthiest manner, and Itsuki stepped back and let him go when he should have intervened, but what they hell else were they supposed to do, really? He supported and loved Sensui in the best way he knew how, even if that way turned out to be pushing him to the point of self destruction. Their last moments together were very moving, and solidified him as an intriguing character to me. Idk what the fandom feel for him is, but my sister greatly dislikes him, so that's who I'm picking.

The character I used to love but don’t any longer: Lame, but I don't think I have one.

The character I would totally smooch: Yukina. But a nice, cute little forehead kiss. She's precious and want all good things for her, and I'd like to kiss the top of her head like a cat. I don't have any character I'm attracted to though.

The character I’d want to be like: I admire Kuwabara. He's strong as hell and can fight like crazy, but he runs off of love. Like, the power of love is what motivates him. He's kind, loves his friends so much that he was willing to debase and humiliate himself so that no harm would come to them, he loves cats, his sister, PEOPLE in general and he just genuinely wants to make the world around as good as he can. He applies himself to his studies and is determined to make himself into a good man, and if I could be at all like him, I would consider myself to be a success. (The dub frickin' BUTCHERED him and all of his character traits btw)

The character I’d slap: Koenma. He deserves it. He bears a lot of responsibility for the REALLY bad stuff that happened and the unnecessary pain and torment that several characters went through. Aside from that he's also a little whiny and should really treat his second better but hey, what else is new?

A pairing that I love: YuHieiRama. This is not the most *popular* paring in the fandom (30 fics on Ao3, minimal art, there's…there's next to nothing, basically) but I LIKE it.

Kurama treasures Yusuke, he doesn't even attempt in any way to hide that fact. Also Kurama has two hands and he knows it. There's a reason Hiei/Kurama is one of the biggest ships in the fandom, their flirtation, instigated mostly and many times, by Kurama, is too much to be ignored. Hiei had THIS wonderous line "I would kill you before you could touch him (Yusuke)" which is HUGE for him and his character because his whole shtick is that he "doesn't care" about other people (he does sometimes he just doesn't show it) but when he thought Yusuke was in imminent mortal danger, he didn't hesitate even a moment to VERBALLY THREATEN (AND THEREBY ACKNOWLEDGE HOW IMPORTANT YUSUKE IS TO HIM) the one posing the danger. And he would have. And he's not a big talker, so this was a BIG MOMENT to him and his character development. Also, though not as open as Kurama, and more bashful about receiving, he reciprocates the flirtation, and seems almost to expect or wait for it at times (and then he tries it out on Yusuke, it's so cute). On Yusuke's end, he admires and respects them both, he likes them both and he just genuinely WANTS to be around them. They are right up there with the top five or so most important people in his life and his devotion is obvious. There's also the common bond between them with Kurama and Hiei being yokai, and Yusuke (SPOILER) also now being one. They have an understanding of each other and a deep care and they make such a wonderful unit, and their interactions, both between any of the two of them, or all three of them together, are just LACED with care and affection and (I think) romantic, flirtatious undertones. *deep breath* I'm so sorry about this.

A pairing that I despise: Yusuke and Keiko. And NO its not because I ship Yusuke with someone(s) else, its because I never believed them as a couple, and they seem supremely unsuited to each other. They kept saying "I love you, I love you, I like you, I miss you, I admire you, I want you" But they never seemed to show it, to prove or display that in any romantic way. They do care for each other, I'll believe that. But IN love? No. They make a horrible romantic couple, and I dislike it greatly.

[rant-2-me]

My mental state has just worsened over the days, though I'm not sure why, and I just feel so unmotivated and lacking any energy to practice any self care other than napping, and also feel anxious because I'm not studying enough.. feel like I'm just 1/4th assing my responsibilities.. And when someone asks me how I'm doing, sometimes I blurt out that I'm not fine, and the guilt I feel afterwards for making them worry, so I find myself withdrawing from initiating conversation with them, even though I really want to, and this makes them worry about me more.. I just don't know anything anymore, everything feels too much, yet I can't rant in a clear conscience without feeling guilty for bothering them, and thinking how I don't deserve to complain because they have had so much worse (yes I know pain is relative, but I feel so horrible, like a whiny child, who doesn't know how to be content with her blessings)......

Sorry I know it's a lot.. feel free to delete it if it's triggering or making you uncomfortable in any way... I just needed to get it out..

My lovely nonnie, im so, so glad you sent this ask. and got it all out of your system. yeah this sounds cheesy but like ive been there, with not knowing how to reach out—im proud you had the courage to send this ask. girlboss vibes.

also this ask took a while to answer and im so so sorry about that, but I didnt want to do anything less than the best for you, so let's just jump right in <[:)

Lacking motivation, god I've been there, but doing self care is super super important so here is a how-to, hon.

How to do selfcare when you’re not motivated to:

1. Be a little “gross.”

Gross is in quotes because it’s so subjective, but you undoubtedly have a few behaviors you consider kind of gross regardless. Now’s the time to do them without judgment. For me, that’s meant showering less, eating weird food combos (sometimes in bed), and letting my brows and mustache grow magnificently unruly. For you, it could mean doing something you normally judge yourself for or cutting back on activities you only do for the benefit of others. Now is not the time to allow “socially acceptable” behaviors to rule you.

2. Eat whatever the hell you want.

This should be a rule always, but I’m not going to pretend there aren’t societal, social, and personal pressures that go into why we eat what we eat. Try to shut down the voice that judges or polices what you’re eating right now. We’re in the middle of a goddamn pandemic. If dinner has to be some slices of cheese and deli meat eaten in front of the open fridge, so be it. If you have a lot of cravings and are snacking more than you normally would, cool. If pre-pandemic you decided you were going to stick to a certain meal plan and it’s just not happening anymore? Don’t beat yourself up.

Yes, what we eat is connected to our mental health, and I don’t want to discount that—but if the stress of eating healthfully is making you feel like crap anyway, whether that’s because you can’t fathom cooking or don’t have the means to shop for certain foods during isolation, just eat the sleeve of Oreos and try again another day. It’s okay.

3. And wear whatever you want.

Or, more realistically, wear whatever you can. Even if it means wearing the same ratty sweatpants for a whole week. Or month. Maybe you started all this out aspiring to get dressed every day to work from home productively, or maybe you have a whole collection of comfortable loungewear you feel guilty for not utilizing. Whatever arbitrary rules and expectations you’ve set for yourself, you can throw them out.

On the other hand, maybe you need to quiet the voice that tells you there’s no point in getting dressed or feeling presentable. If it helps, by all means, play with your look, wear awesome or weird outfits, do your hair and makeup or whatever activity might feel a little silly given your current reality. In the middle of a pandemic, nothing is a waste of time if it makes you feel good.

4. Use shortcuts to avoid creating chores.

In my first week or so of working entirely from home, I was baffled by just how messy my apartment got. How on earth were so many messes piling up when I wasn’t even doing anything but working, sleeping, and eating? I hadn’t realized it, but a lot of my small tidying routines had become casualties to the pandemic. And, it turns out, slacking on the little ways I pick up after myself every day (such as doing the dishes right after I use them) added up quickly.

Instead of forcing myself to stick to the same levels of tidiness that I used to maintain, I’ve found shortcuts. For example, I use paper plates and plastic cutlery when I feel too fatigued to wash dishes so they don’t sit in the sink for days on end. Or I stick to the same two “outfits” to avoid clothes piling up when I’m too depressed to put them away every day. If you can find a small way to go easy on yourself, even if it feels a little wasteful or indulgent or gross, it’s okay to tap into those shortcuts right now.

5. Be kind to yourself if your place is messy or dirty.

I won’t lie: I’m someone whose space impacts my mental health a lot. Typically, keeping my apartment clean helps keep my mental health in check and letting my apartment get gross makes me feel worse. That’s still true in a lot of ways, but to adapt I’ve been trying to be mindful and accepting of where I’m at. And it’s…helped?

It turns out that taking the pressure off does a lot to mitigate the guilt and some of the other negative mental health effects I usually experience. In practice, it involves a lot of talking to myself. Instead of seeing my apartment turning into a depression cave and immediately thinking, “Oh, God, I need to clean up, this is so disgusting, I’m a monster for living like this, of course I feel depressed,” I go for kindness. I think (or even say out loud because, well, desperate times), “Of course my apartment is a mess right now. I’ll get to it when I get to it. I can handle the mess for now.”

6. Accept your new sleep schedule.

idk anyone whose sleep hasn’t been screwed in some way by all of this. Anxiety, depression, fatigue, pent-up energy from sheltering in place, tech use, new work responsibilities, screwy schedules…pretty much every aspect of our new reality can impact our sleep. Some people are sleeping a lot more, some are sleeping a lot less, and some are cycling through both extremes. Oh, and the temptation of naps! It’s all there.

Trying to maintain a healthy sleep schedule during all of this is a worthy endeavor—and more power to you if you’ve figured out how—but there’s a good chance that it feels impossible.

By “accepting” your new sleep schedule, I don’t mean pretending it doesn’t suck; I mean doing what you can to be gentle on yourself about it. For me, acceptance has looked like watching some comfort tv and reading my favourite books at 2 a.m. instead of staying in bed and anxiety-spiraling about how I can’t sleep. Is it ideal? No way. But I’m not going to waste energy stressing about something I currently can’t control.

7. Give yourself plenty of room to do absolutely nothing.

I’ve given myself permission to do a whole lot of nothing. That includes getting rid of the pressure to be productive and practice self-care, yes, but in a broader sense, it also means not forcing myself to actively “adjust” every day.

Some days, I just need to do nothing but feel my feelings. Or avoid feeling my feelings. Or stare at the ceiling. Give yourself space to do (or not do) whatever you need to.

also, nonnie? my love?

Never feel guilty about telling someone who cares about you when you don’t feel okay.

People who genuinely care about you—and I’m sure they are many—will care if you aren’t feeling good, there are always going to be people who care about you, who want you to be okay, that’s why they ask, why people make rant, why “how are you?” is such a common question.

But if you do need to talk, but you feel like you’ll “burden” people who you do talk to, here’s a guide to ranting.

Guide to ranting:

1. Pick the right person. Someone who’s in the right headspace to listen to you, you could also pick someone who cares about you—if you’re anxiety tells you nobody cares about you, pick someone who “should” care about you in your relationship, e.g: a friend you’ve had for a long time, a friend who’s told a few of their problems, or friend you might not feel close with, but seems very kindhearted and a good listener.

2. Pick the right time to talk to them, so you can have their undivided attention. If they are busy—as most people will be with something—they’ll have a hard time giving you good advice and listening to you. Ask them when they are free, and then ask them:

3. “hey, can we talk? I’m not mad or you or anything, it’s just that I have been not feeling great, and I just want to rant to someone about it.” and “No pressure to say yes, you might have your own stuff to do deal with.” to make sure they are the right person to talk to.

4. It’s ok to test the waters. Start slowly, you don’t have to share everything at once if you don’t want to.

5. You never know how your friend will react to what you say.While you can’t know how they’ll react, just remember that sometimes people’s initial reactions may come from a place of shock, surprise or not knowing what to say. Their initial reaction isn’t always their longerterm reaction, it may just take them a little time to process.

6. Look for ways to take action. Don’t get me wrong, ranting can be amazing for you, but on its own may not solve your problem.

But maybe venting to people isn’t for you. No matter! There are other ways to get out emotions:

Ways to rant without talking to anyone

1. Cry it out— simple and rewarding. When the baggage is just too heavy to carry cry it out. It can help you ease the pressure and ease your mind to think straight after days of holding that frustration in.

2. Work out — easy and fun. tire yourself out and release all the frustration in working out! This is going to be so satisfying for you as you try and punch, kick, balance, lift, and breathe those frustrations away.

3. Clean & rearrange — practical and can be fun. we get frustrated by so many things and one thing that can truly help clear our minds is to have a clean place where we can stay and live for the moment to breathe. Clean your room, rearrange your things and you’ll be surprised by the satisfaction this brings — a signal of a new beginning.

4. Scribble — simple and fun. Make scribbles, doodles, drawings, take a pen or a pencil, and let go. It does not have to be “good” art or professional at all. Just draw whatever comes to heart, sunflowers or clouds or rainbows—anything.

5. Write it down — fun and simple. Let those words out of your head and just live in the moment.

How to fight the lack of motivation.

1. Don't fight the lack of motivation.

If you feel down or unable to muster tons of energy, let it be ok. Be easy on yourself and acknowledge that it's ok to have a dip, especially at this time of the year.

2. Once you have accepted your slump, get to the bottom of it.

Ask yourself, "What is the root cause of this sluggish feeling?" Go deeper than the obvious reasons. Is it related to work? Your personal life? Relationships? It might also just be the weather. Get clear on what areas of your life you're feeling the most resistance.

3. Dig into that area. What is not ideal about this aspect of your life? What would make it better?

Make a list of how you'd like your current situation to improve--and be specific. If you truly can't find a reason to be less than enthusiastic, then accept your feelings and let them pass with time.

4. Take your list of what is missing and go through it.

What is holding you back from being able to create the things that are missing in your life?

5. Get support for creating the life you want.

Do some research and find an expert to help you. Even though they love you, friends and family aren't objective enough, and they tend to give advice that is a reflection of their own life and insecurities.

6. Think of current habits that are contributing to a less-than-ideal life.

Maybe it's fear, laziness, or not having enough confidence. Pick one to focus on.

7. Address this habit over the next 2 months.

They say it takes 28 days to create a new habit, but this varies from person to person. If you focus on it for two months, you are sure to build the neural pathways needed to call it a new way of being.

8. Buy a book, read articles or do some research on this particular behavior or feeling.

Read about the common causes of this habit as well as the proven ways to bust through and work around it.

9. Create a plan around shifting your current habit.

Make sure that changing this habit ultimately helps you move forward in the area of your life that is not ideal. The energy from clarity, awareness and then action will immediately get you feeling more motivated, no matter what.

10. When all else fails: make a list of activities that excite you, and do one of them right now.

Talk to a fun friend, dance around at home, workout, watch a funny YouTube video, tackle something on your to-do list. Accomplishing something will give you a hit of dopamine in your brain. If you're too overwhelmed by your day, sit for five minutes and meditate. Put on some soothing music and breathe.

okay, that's all nonnie, I hope you feel the lust for life in your lungs, please have all my love, i hope this helped, this ask took a while, but it was worth if it helps

and if you need to dont worry to send another ask, if you like spam the inbox!! queen!!!

take care, much love my sweet honey, bye <3

—*putting daisies in your hair as they leave* mod peppermint <[:)

[we-cant-fight-gravity]

How about a HC on the kinks of each camp member, I'm pretty sure even the greatest of villains had a weak, guilty spot somewhere ;P (I don't think it needs any reader interaction but of gender neutral.)

I had actually planned on doing this, so thank you for giving me more of a reason to do it! I’m aware that some of the things I included aren’t really kinks, but I feel like they’re important to mention, none the less. Some people don’t have as many kinks as others, just because I hc them as pretty vanilla. There are also a couple characters that I left out, either because I forgot them or I figured there wouldn’t be that much interest in them anyway. So, sorry Uncle fuckers, it’s just not your day ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Abigail - Facesitting. Will sit on her partner’s face like it’s a fucking throne. She looks real pretty up there too. Dirty Talk. Domination (switch, but she prefers to dom). She’s a very gentle dom, but she makes it very clear as to what she wants. When she’s with John, there’s a constant power struggle. Spanking. Mostly on the receiving end, but might be down to use those hands if her partner is really into it.

Arthur - Praise. Constantly telling his partner what a good girl/boy they are and uses lots of sweet pet names. Mutual Masturbation. He also has a thing for masturbating in front of his partner/to the sight of them, especially early on in the relationship. Light Spanking. The last thing he wants to do is actually hurt his partner. Dirty Talk. He does most of the talking but loves hearing it back as well. Body Worship on both ends. Sometimes he just wants to be told how handsome and sexy he is, ok? 

Charles - Outdoor Sex. Biting. Usually when he gets close to finishing. He mostly does it so he can keep himself quiet. Afterwards, he kisses any mark he may leave on his partner. Light Spanking. He’s got big, strong hands so he has to restrain himself. Edging. Praise. Primal Play. Face Sitting. Loves having his partner up on top of him, paws at their chest as he pleasures them. General Rough Sex (w lots of sweet, loving aftercare to follow). Body Worship. Gets really flustered if he’s on the receiving end, but he enjoys it none the less. 

Dutch - Daddy Kink. Degradation. Gagging. Can’t have his partner waking up the whole camp now, can he? Light Bondage. Spanking/Belting. Lies his partner down on his cot, ass up, and goes to town on them with his belt. If they make any noise, he gags them and goes way harder 👀. Domination (he’s a dom, and not a particularly nice one). 

(Sorry for the cut, there’s just like,,, 13 more of these and I don’t want to annoy people by clogging up their dash with a wall of text!!) 

Grimshaw - Domination (dom, she runs the show, no matter who she’s with). Thinking about the constant power struggle between her and Dutch makes me feel some kinda way. Praise. I don’t think this is a kink, but Scratching. Marks her partners all to Hell. Back, thighs, shoulders when they eat her out… you name it. Dirty Talk. God she loves hearing it but is fucking fantastic at giving it. A true Queen. Face Sitting. Tell her how hot she is while she’s up there and she’ll die. Not an all the time thing, but she digs complete and utter Body Worship now and then because she’s getting a little insecure in her old age. 

Hosea - Slow/Passionate Sex, but in his prime, Hosea used to be a real stud. Not really a kink, per se, but he loves Spooning. He keeps one hand on his partner’s chest, holding them close, and another stimulating them. Has a thing for Toys, though they’re not readily available. Cock rings are his favourite, just because it helps him stay hard longer. Praise. Edging, though he can’t handle it himself. He encourages his partner to hold off, it’s really sweet. Not sure what it’s called, but he has a thing for younger folk. Probably in their mid to late 20s or early 30s.

John - A true king of Power Bottoming. Biting, but that’s just the raccoon in him coming out. His partner needs to get a rabies shot before they have sex. Mostly on his partner’s neck and thighs. General Rough Sex, but also slows it down sometimes. Light/Playful Degradation, nothing too extreme. Even though he’s not super into giving oral, if he’s with a lady he loves Face Sitting. He might be willing to have a male partner sit on his face, but I think he’d really have to be with the right fella. Domination (a switch, but I’m leaning more towards dom). Light Bondage, tie this boy up and ride him!! He goes crazy!!

Javier - Light Knife Play. Mostly just for show, but sometimes he will run it across his partner’s skin and draw a lil bit of blood. He has cut his hand all to Hell fucking you with the handle of his knife before. Daddy Kink (prolly in Spanish 🤤). Domination (he’s a dom, not into being submissive). General Rough Sex. He can be very aggressive, so be warned.  Facesitting. Choking. Usually, he grabs your throat to make you look him in the eyes, especially when he’s about to finish. Praise/Degradation. He goes from calling his partner a whore to ‘mi corazon’ in .0002 seconds flat. Self-proclaimed king of Dirty Talk. 

Karen - Ok this girl is so into Rough Sex I have no idea how she was with Sean. Domination (such a good lil sub, but does like to have control sometimes). Choking. Deepthroating or if she’s with a lady Facesitting. Just likes to be messy in general.  Praise. Likes to receive it, but she can and will give it back. Likes NEEDS to be coddled and told how beautiful she is afterwards, so I’ll throw in Body Worship as well. Light Bondage; she is the prettiest rope bunny. 

Kieran - Mutual Masturbation, especially when the relationship is new. He’s not very experienced, so taking things slow would make him much more comfortable. That being said, Clothed Sex is also a thing that Kieran enjoys. Praise. Outdoor Sex. He loves to sneak away from camp and get it on in a meadow or somewhere else that’s pretty and quiet :,) Domination (he’s a sub and he NEEDS to be told what to do), but he does best with a sweet and gentle dom. Overstimulation, on both ends. Particularly enjoys it when he’s on the receiving end, even though he swears he doesn’t in the moment.

Lenny - My baby boy. I don’t think he’s that kinky tbh. Deepthroating is a big thing for him though. Loves to look at his partner absolutely choke on his length. Which is a little out of character, but we all have our weaknesses. Actually, Oral is a big thing for him in general. He always, always, always, makes sure his partner’s needs are taken care of. The amount of Praise this boy gives is unbelievable. When he gets it back, he gets a little flustered, but it’s surely a soft spot for him. Especially if his partner tells him he’s a good boy, or something similar. He has really long Fingers and loves to have his partner suck on them before he goes to town on them. Lenny is a pretty vanilla boy but I love him anyway.

Mary-Beth - Slow/Passionate Sex. Not exactly a kink, but Erotica. She probably has some of her steamiest encounters written down somewhere. She often touches herself while re-reading them. Body Worship. She can be kinda insecure, so she loves hearing how beautiful she is. On the flip side, if you’re her partner, expect to be treated like a queen/king. Forreal.

Micah - General Rough Sex. Domination (a very, very mean dom). Gun Play. For show, mostly. But sometimes he does have his partner suck off the barrel of one of his guns, that’s hot. Degradation. Deepthroating is probably his biggest weakness. Loves seeing his partner gagging and choking on his cock. He doesn’t feel the least bit bad about it either. Belting/Spanking. He really overdoes it sometimes oops. Orgasm Denial, his partner really has to work for it if they want to cum.

Molly - Praise/Degradation. Call her little pet names and she’ll melt. But also responds well to being called mean names when she’s been ‘bad’. Domination (totally a sub). She likes a dom that will be rough, yet loving with her. Spanking. Bonus points if her partner makes her count the spanks as they go along. Edging. She gets really squirmy and whiny and by the end, she gets really flustered and swears to God that she’ll never do it again, but she always does :)) 

Sadie - General Rough Sex, usually the one to initiate… Y’know. Light Slapping, Spanking, the usual. Domination (dom, but does like to switch it up sometimes). Super into Oral, won’t fuck her partner unless she’s given them a nice sloppy blowjob or left their legs shaking from eating them out. She’s also into receiving. She loves sitting on her partner’s face, but I would describe it more as FaceRiding because she really puts in the extra work up there. Likes to hear her partner use some Dirty Talk. She tries her best to reciprocate, but she gets flustered and can’t do it very well.

Sean - Light Bondage. Another boy that likes to be tied up and ridden. But this one gets very bratty very fast. FaceSitting. He swears he wants to die by being drowned in pussy. Can we make that canon? Loves giving Facials. Always tells his partner how fucking pretty/handsome they look with his cum all over their face. Praise for days. Loves to give it, loves to have it thrown back at him. Especially if he’s going down on his partner. 

Trelawny - Heavy Bondage. Whipping/Cropping. We love a BDSM king. Domination (he’s obv the dom). Idk what to call this, but he has a thing for Fingers. Loves to have his partner suck on them, and vice versa. Expect a lot of fingering in foreplay. Praise. Always tells his partner how good they’re doing, especially when things get intense. Edging/Overstimulation and he will be MEAN about it too. Orgasm Denial if his partner is ‘naughty.’