#idk something about putting his head in a tank just felt

[bloodibambiidoll]

Summary: Life is soooo hard being a spoiled little housewife, sometimes all you need is for Rafe to think for you. 18+MDNI!!

Warnings: Daddy kink!, cockwarming, body worship, dom/sub dynamics, mostly fluff? (Idk being soft is not my strong suit be nice to me) also you can thank @strangerstilinski for putting the image of Rafe playing w your hair while you cockwarm him in my head.

Today was hard. By your standards at least. It felt like every single little thing was going wrong. First your nail tech made your nails too squared off, then your hair appointment got canceled. You went to the mall to try to get the new shoes you’ve been lusting after but they didn’t have your size even though it said they did online. Starbucks made your coffee wrong and to top it all off you stopped at the store to get stuff to bake Rafe cookies and you fucking burned them. It didn’t help that you were about to get your period so you felt extra needy and Rafe wasn’t even here to take care of you because he had to work late.

You feel like a huge baby sitting in the edge of you and Rafe’s plush bed, pouting over such minuscule things. But it isn’t your fault Rafe conditioned you to get whatever you want, whenever you want. Plus you wanted to do something for yourself today, usually he drives you around on maintenance and shopping days but you thought it might be fun to go on your own. Apparently not. So after the commotion with the cookies and the smoke alarm you decided to just sit down and wait for Rafe. He was all you wanted right now. When you hear the front door open your entire body practically perks up, just knowing he was home eased the tension in your body some immediately.

“Baby? Where are you?” Rafe calls out to you as you hear his expensive loafers against the carpet. He rounds the corner into the room and sees you sitting on the bed with your pretty little eyes brimmed with tears and your sparkly glossed lips set into a pout as they wobble. “Hey, sweet girl, what’s going on?”

“Daddy - I -“ your sentence is cut off by a whimper as the tears in your eyes start to stream down your cheeks. He rushes towards you, taking your face in his hands, running his thumbs under your eyes to keep your mascara from staining your face.

“Shhh, it’s okay baby, daddy’s got you, I’m gonna take care of you, okay? C��mere.” He leans down and presses a gentle kiss on your lips before crouching down on one knee so he can take your little pink heels off your feet. He runs the tips of his fingers along your ankles before pressing his lips against the inside of each one. He stands again, taking your hands in his so he can softly pull you to your feet. “My girl just had a long day, huh? Need me to think for you?”

“Mhm.” You let out a sigh as he presses his lips to your shoulder, he pushes the strap of your little tank top down before kissing across your collar bones, his lips touching every inch they can.

“Use your words, Princess.” He mumbles against your skin as he starts to kiss up your neck, leaving soft nibbles and gently sucking on the skin.

“Yes, daddy, need you to take care of me. Don’t wanna think anymore. Please.” You whine.

“Alright, don’t gotta beg, baby. I’ve got you.”

His finger tips caress the skin underneath your shirt as he grabs onto the hem and pulls it over your head. His hand comes around your back to undo your bra and he places wet open mouthed kisses on each of your nipples. Rafe takes his time unzipping your skirt, and pushing it off your hips, his lips grazing over and sucking on any skin they can reach as he undresses you with such tenderness. Once you’re finally bare before him one of his large hands cups your face while the other grips onto your hip, pulling your lips to his.

“Look at you, my perfect girl, so beautiful.” He pulls his shirt over his head and grabs you by the hips as he walks backwards towards the bed, using his grip to maneuver you so that you’re straddling his lap. “What do you want, hmm?”

“Just want you. I don’t know.” You pout up and him and he chuckles slightly, placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

“Alright baby, how about you sit on my cock and just let me hold you for a while, huh? How’s that sound?” He smooths down your hair as he smiles sweetly at you.

“Yeah, that sounds nice.” You hum and Rafe wraps one of his thick arms around your hips to maneuver you so that he can use his free hand to pull his pants down enough to free his cock. He’s already hard, it doesn’t take much more than seeing you naked and needy for him to get him going nowadays. Honestly he thinks if you breathed just right he would be rock hard in seconds. He uses his grip on you to line you up with his cock, gently pushing his tip into your entrance.

“You’re always so tight for me, princess. So wet.” Rafe gently thrusts the rest of the way inside of you, pressing your hips flush against his. “There you go baby.”

“Mmm, missed you daddy.” You let out a sigh of relief as wrap your arms around his neck and lean forward, burying your face in the crook of his neck.

“Missed you too baby, always miss you.” He kisses the top of your head, massages your scalp, rubs your shoulders, leaving kisses behind his in wake. Rafe runs his hands down your back, gently massaging your muscles. He connects your lips and slowly rolls your tongues together as his hands continue to rub and worship every inch of your body they can reach.

“Love every part of you.” He mumbles against your lips as his kisses travel over to your cheek and down your jaw. “Love this pretty face.” He kisses your nose. “Love this cute little nose.” He runs his nose down your jaw to your neck where he counties to place tender open mouth kisses. “Love this pretty throat.” His kisses travel down your shoulder to your arms. “Your soft skin.” He kisses the back of your hand before gently placing his lips on the pad of each one. “Love your cute hands, all these lil rings you wear and how small they look around my cock.”

“Raaaafey, I love you.” You giggle, causing your walls to constrict around him.

“I love you, angel. If you keep laughing like that I’m gonna have to flip you over and fuck you until you can’t talk though.” He chuckles as his hands find your ass and squeeze the flesh between his fingers. His words make you wiggle in his lap, causing his tip to brush against your sweet spot.

“Mmm… I wouldn’t be against it.” You gently rock your hips against his, looking at up at him with your bottom lip between your teeth.

“Yeah?” You giggle and nod. He smiles widely at you before flipping you onto your back. “You’re fuckin’ in for it.”

[eph3merall]

there's toxic!chris.. but what about toxic!matt ?

this was so stupid. matt was such a fucking bitch! sure, yeah, you know you aren't the only girl he's fucking. but would it kill him to clean up after himself sometimes? you're sitting on the edge of matt's tidied bed—actively ignoring the red lace bra and tropical smelling perfume bottle you found laying around his floor.

he's stalking out of the shower with damp hair, a pair of low hanging sweatpants and a black tank, with his eyes already roaming over you. immediately he can tell something is wrong and he isn't sure if he wants to even pester you about it, knowing he probably won't even get an answer.

"so, like.. you okay?" are the first words you hear from matt as he shifts around to get comfortable on his bed. he rests his head back against his headboard, a pillow supporting his lower back as he crosses his arms across his chest. your back is to him, and you don't answer.

right. he should've seen this coming. just because you're silent at first doesn't make him stop though, because oddly enough the idea of you being upset (you, his favorite hoe) has his mind reeling and stomach churning uncomfortably so he tried to get you to open up.

he's putting both his hands up when you turn around and snap at him, all annoyed. "god, matt, do you ever know when to leave something alone? obviously i'm fine so why can't you just shut the fuck up?!" he hates to admit how beautiful you look and sound right now, brows furrowed in exasperation and lips parted, screwed into a scowl.

"no, y'know what, i'm leaving." he was too busy staring at your lips and your chest that he didn't hear the words leave your mouth for a second before you're suddenly getting up and gathering some of your belongings. matt is up in a second to wrestle you to face him, hands on your shoulders and shaking furiously.

"seriously, what the fuck is wrong? you haven't ever acted like this, like, ever." you're ignoring him, because he was such a douche. yeah, you get that you aren't special to him but sometimes he really was a fucking bitch. call it jealousy.. you weren't dealing with it tonight. "matt— leave me alone." white hot tears are already springing into your eyes out of anger as well, and having matt see you cry seemed embarrassing enough that it encouraged you to twist and squirm yourself from his grasp.

he doesn't get it until he sees your eyes water, and he's confused nonetheless. does he act though? yeah, because he wasn't thinking. his arms are around you in a second, effectively spinning the smaller girl in his arms to his chest. a ringed hand is cradling the back of your head, tangling into strands of hair.

"what's wrong, huh?" he's mumbling into your head and holding you a little too tight for comfort. but matt didn't want you to leave. so when he felt your body go lax in his arms he loosens up a little, enough so to tug you towards his bed where he lets you lay your head on his chest.

he doesn't exactly expect an answer, and he's not surprised when he doesn't get one. his grip is always firm, as if making you sure you don't somehow get up. because oddly enough, he wants you here. not even to fuck, he just wants you like this—cheek pressed against the material of his black tank and your body on top of his.

you're pissed off still. it's mainly the reason you're giving matt the whole silent treatment shit, even if you know it's a little unfair. he's told you multiple times you aren't the only girl he fucks, that you aren't special in any way. (you are though, he thinks you're special but won't ever tell you) you don't get why this is upsetting you, it's not like you seriously have feelings for him, right?

sighh toxic!matt is such a bitch n he makes me wanna punch something but he's one of my favs

not proofread

more smut coming soon !! idk when maybe when i get ideas and finally finish my masterlist ....

—

©eph3merall 2024

[moonsgemini]

you’re on your own kid

summary: rafe cameron has loved his best friend through every season, but through the seasons of their senior year things start to get complicated.

warning: she/her, smoking, alcohol, angst, fluff, kissing, cheating ???, drugs, mutual pining, (let me know if I missed any)

wc: 4.7k

an: HIII! I’m really excited for these taylor swift fics bc her songs give me so many ideas. This took a while for me to finish & idk if I like the ending or honestly if I like it at all. I promise seeking arrangements is next on my list to post <3 Hope you guys enjoy !!!

rafe's version masterlist - masterlist

I wait patiently

he’s gonna notice me

it’s okay we’re the best of friends

-

summer

Of course when he walks in the party instantly feels like an actual party. It hadn’t been much of a party to her especially not with him around. These things got boring fast if he wasn’t by her side making her laugh and talking about anything and everything. Not having to worry about sleazy guys coming up to her or putting something in her drink because he always by her side. Always looking out.

Everybody loves him anyways. The way he carried himself charmed everyone, made them always want to have his attention. Sunglasses perched on his nose, even though it’s eleven at night, that big smile on his face. He’s bobbing his head to the music and greeting everyone, she can tell he’s in a good mood tonight. It puts her in a good mood, her fingers itching to greet him already.

When he finally reaches where she’s standing with a few of her friends he smiles even wider at her. Greeting everyone but always just looking at her. Moving to push his glasses up onto his head. She couldn’t help the smile that tuged at her lips as he side hugs her friends knowing that’s not what she’s going to get.

And she’s right, once he gets to her it’s all outstretched arms and gentle rocking as he hugs her tightly. She’s been away at her grandparents house in florida for the last week of summer. They had missed each other. Face times and text messages just didn’t feel like enough.

“You’re finally back,” He said once they pulled away.

She rolled her eyes playfully a teasing smile on her lips, “Were you counting down the days Cameron?”

He shrugged, “Maybe, I know you were.” That grin never leaving his lips.

“Now come on,” He wrapped his arm around her shoulders beginning to lead her to the kitchen of whoever’s house this was, “I need a drink and you need to tell me about Florida.”

“I already told you everything every day Rafe. Just sat out by the pool or on the beach,” She motioned towards her body, “got some new clothes.”

He raised his eyebrows eyeing her body, “Some very tiny clothes,” His eyes took in her mini skirt and tank top all the exposed skin doing something to him, “Any guys out there?” He didn’t look at her as he asked. Instead he grabbed a beer out of the fridge, cracking it open with his back to her.

She scoffed, “Florida boys? No thanks.”

He turned around smirking, “So just North Carolina boys for you?”

There was a look in his eyes that she couldn’t quite read. Every now and then he’d give it to her and her mind would spiral on what he could be thinking. She always hoped it was the same thing she was, “Mhmm only North Carolina boys.”

-

I hear it in your voice

You're smoking with your boys

I touch my phone as if it's your face

I didn't choose this town

I dream of getting out

There's just one who could make me stay

-

fall

Everything had felt boring lately. After the summer and after the start of senior year she felt like the parties in outer banks were a waste of time. It was always the same people doing the same things. Kids too young to know what’s good for them and too young to care about the consequences of their actions. Not a care in the world knowing mommy or daddy would get you out of whatever stupid decision you made.

She’d spent most of her high school career pretending to like parties and drinking. Even tried coke once but it made her feel like her brain was rotting so never again. When in reality she’d rather be home smoking on her balcony reading a good book or hanging out with her close friends around a bonfire. It was exhausting always having to put up a front that she was this social party girl.

It took her a long time to come to the realization that she didn’t have to be what people thought of her. On figure eight it felt like everyone knew your business and everyone thought they knew you. They start seeing you at parties talking to Rafe Cameron and all of a sudden you’re some party girl with a drug problem. Once people found out Rafe quit doing coke and dealing she just became the party girl. Kook prince and kook princess always stuck to each others sides, of course she was going go gain a reputation.

Once she realized that people are going to talk regardless what she did so she stopped caring. Started staying home more. Rafe kind of hated it. Because she wasn’t there anymore. But he made it work with their busy senior schedules. Always saying he can make time for his best friend. That’s what she was. His best friend.

best friend.

Even saying it in her head made her cringe. If only he knew that she wanted something more so badly. At first she didn’t even see him that way, he truly was a great friend. He listened to all her rants about music, school, books. Rafe paid attention, he was soft with her. She didn’t understand why people always said bad things about him because he never showed those sides to her.

She sighed thinking about him, sitting on her balcony. The thought of him was brought on by everyone’s instagram stories of the party currently happening. She had opted for one of those smoke on the balcony with a good show or book nights.

As she scrolled through her phone more it began to vibrate. Rafe’s contact popping up on the top of the screen. A warm feeling spread through her stomach, maybe it was just because of the weed. She pressed the green button and brought the phone up to her ear. Admiring the little picture of him first, it was one she took right before she had left for florida. He was holding up their friends dog with a big smile on his face.

“Hello?”

“Heyyy,” A raspy voice said on the other line. Immediately she knew he had been smoking as well, probably with all the guys outside. He could even still be passing the joint around. He could also be smoking a cigarette outside after he’s gotten a buzz, it was his favorite thing to do after a few beers.

She put the laptop that was resting on her to the side, bringing her knees up to her chest. Leaning her head to the side on her knees she smiled softly, “Hi Rafe, you rang?”

He can hear her smile. Rafe knows her like the back of his hand.

“I did, what are you up to?” He knows exactly what she’s doing tonight even though she didn’t even tell him.

The wide grin on her lips dulling slightly, “Uh just looking at some schools in california, also watching new girl.”

“Still wanna leave this place huh?”

She let out a breathy laugh picking at the thread on her bench, “You know me too well.”

“Of course I do. I’m coming over,” She could hear him walking on gravel.

“My parents are asleep Rafe,” It was almost one in the morning and her parents had some golf charity event early in the morning.

He laughed amused, “Okay? What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It’s supposed to mean you have to climb up to my room on the second floor or stay at that party,” Her tone was stern not wanting him to get her in trouble but also praying he’ll come and not wake them.

“Hey I gotta convince you to stay close to me after high school so you brought this on yourself,” He was walking to her house. She didn’t live too far from where this party was and he didn’t want to drive after smoking and drinking. At his words her hand tightened around her phone closing her eyes for a second imagining he was there saying that to her but in a different context.

Rafe didn’t have to do anything to convince her. He was the only one who kept her here. It was why she was still mulling over the idea of leaving the outer banks.

“You better at least be bringing a joint for us,” She sighed feeling giddy about him coming over. He always made her feel like a school girl with a big crush on the cutest boy in school.

“Already had one with your name on it babe,” He always threw that word around like it meant nothing. It meant everything to her.

They bid their goodbyes as Rafe was a few houses away. Less than ten minutes later she heard rustling under her. Rafe was climbing the tree by her room. He stepped onto the ledge before getting hoping down.

“Rafe,” She shushed him harshly hoping her dad didn’t hear. His heavy feet landing with a thud.

He looked at her with a smirk, “oops.” He shrugged not really caring if he was loud. Grabbing her legs that were laid out on the bench and sat down placing them on top. One hand on her shin and the other right above her knee.

He leaned his head back looking at her. That contagious grin on his face his eyes hooded and a bit red from his night out, “So ms. I wanna run away. What’s this thing you’re trying to escape,”

She sighed leaning back, “Dunno. I guess everything. I want to start somewhere new, it’s hard when people think they know everything about you.”

He let out a short laugh, “Yeah tell me about it. Maybe we should escape together, I think you’re the only person who doesn’t see a douche bag when they look at me.”

Her heart burst. If they were in a cartoon there’d be hearts swirling around her head and violins playing.

She shook her head smiling, “No one sees you as a douche bag,” She smirked, “anymore.”

“It doesn’t matter because the family company will be mine after college and people will see that I’m more than just a pretty face with a bad attitude,” He smirked.

“You are a pretty face with a bad attitude,” She agreed before holding her hand out, “Also you have something for me no?”

He patted her legs, “How could I ever think you forgot.”

They smoked and talked all night. She put on a movie on her laptop but it was more of background noise. At almost four in the morning she started to drift off to sleep and soon she was asleep on Rafe’s lap. She just felt so comfortable and warm with his hand rubbing circles on her shoulder.

He carried her to her bed and tucked her in because he knew she got cold easily. He sat next to her on the bed and brushed a strand of hair out of her face. A small smile on his face, these were the nights he cherished with her. When the world felt so quiet that it seemed like they were the only people existing. No interruptions from their friends or their parents.

Just him and his girl.

-

I search the party of better bodies

Just to learn that you never cared

-

winter

She pushed through the crowd of people while scanning the room for the 6’2 man she was meeting. It was the first party she had come to since summer and she was only there because he had begged her to come. It was a christmas sweater party so she had on a red sweater with kittens playing with presents. She had gotten it with Rafe a week ago at a vintage store, it was the whole reason he even brought up this party. Telling her it’d be the perfect place to wear it to.

Spotting her friend Emma she went up to her, “Hey have you seen Rafe? he hasn’t been answering me.”

“I swear I saw him going to the bathroom like a few minutes ago,” She pointed towards the hallway.

“Thanks,” She waved and walked towards the hall.

It was much quieter in this part of the house. She’d never been here before so she didn’t know where the bathroom was. There was a door on her right and left and one straight ahead. She decided to check them all. She opened the door on the left and it was just a closet with towels. The door on her right was the bathroom. She was confused because wasn’t he supposed to be there.

She turned towards the last door and saw some light coming from under. She had a gut feeling this wasn’t going to be good. Slowly she walked towards the door and opened it just like ripping a band aid off and

ouch.

Rafe on top of Taylor Thompson. His hand under her sweater and his lips on her. Taylor’s hands in his hair. At the sound of the door opening Rafe turned around and the girl under him sat up to look.

“Shit,” He muttered feeling his heart sink.

She stood there in complete shock for a second before speaking, “Sorry to interrupt.” She slammed the door closed. Holding back her tears until she was in her car alone. Her feet knowing where to take her as her mind was elsewhere. Why would he do that? The last few months had felt different to her. It felt like there was a possibility of something more.

It felt like he literally ripped her heart out and shoved out down Taylor Thompson’s throat. That blonde bi-

“Y/n! Wait!” Rafe called as he chased after her.

She ignored him not really wanting to see him until she got her emotions in order. Now it was clear he wanted nothing to do with her and never cared about her, at least not in the say way. She didn’t want him to see her cry over him, it felt pathetic. They were outside now she had finally reached her car. Clicking the buttons to unlock it furiously.

“Stop!” Rafe said as he jogged to push her car door closed before she opened it all the way.

“What!” She yelled turning around to him. A look of anger in her eyes.

He took a step back seeing how upset she actually was, “I-It’s not what it looks like.”

She rolled her eyes, “I don’t care Rafe.” Crossing her arms defensively.

He furrowed his brows, “Then why are you leaving?”

“Because I can.”

“Y/n-“

“Rafe! I don’t want to third wheel all night so go fuck Taylor Thompson like you want, I don’t give a shit.” She seethed, tears pricking at her eyes.

He shook his head, “I don’t want to fuck her.”

“Then why were you kissing her?”

“I thought you didn’t care,” Now he was getting mad for some reason.

“Fuck you Rafe.”

He laughed bitterly, “Tell me why it bothered you so much.”

She scoffed confused, “What?”

“Why did me kissing her bother you?”

“Because it didn’t bother you. You just didn’t care,”

“About what?” He took a step closer. He was trying to get her to say it. To say that she cared because she liked him.

He knows he fucked up but after her reaction he realized that he had convinced himself she didn’t care when she did. Then he may have taken a few shots and gone into the guest room to breathe and call her. But then Taylor Thompson came in right when the tequila was kicking in and things got blurry. She was on him and he didn’t stop it and she tugged him on the bed and he just couldn’t move or stop. He also couldn’t stop thinking about y/n as it was all happening, wishing it was her.

“About me,” She sighed looking down voice so small.

“I care about you.”

She looked up at him with a frown. She sighed frustrated being able to hold her tears anymore as a few slipped down her cheeks, “No you don’t. If you did you wouldn’t have kissed her.”

She turned around quickly opening her car door and getting in. Rafe got what he wanted, to hear her say it. But maybe he fucked up so bad he can’t fix it. He steps back as her car starts and watches her drive away.

She can barely see between her tears as she drives home. She felt dumb. She felt like he was using her to make his ego bigger. Why did he have to ruin it? The one person who kept her tied to where she is had betrayed her the most. She knew he didn’t owe her any loyalty but she couldn’t help the way she felt.

-

I picked the petals, he loves me not

Something different bloomed

Writing in my room

-

spring

Three and a half months.

It’d been three and a half months of Rafe and her not talking.

After she left the party she promised herself she would never speak to him again. He hurt her and she couldn’t believe she’d let it happen. Feeling dumb for feeling the way she does towards him. How could she have let herself fall for him so much?

He had called and texted her relentlessly at first. Even tried to go up to her in school but she’d quickly turn and walk away from him. After a month of trying to get her to talk to him he gave up. He fucked it up more than he thought. Rafe gave her the space she wanted but he’d always be there in the background if she needs him.

Y/n couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t take him always looking at her with those eyes. Couldn’t take all the time she was spending alone. She thought she liked being alone and spending time alone but she also liked all the time she spent with him. He made her feel so care free and light. The anxiety that was constantly bubbling in her stomach would diminish around him because she didn’t have to pretend to be someone she’s not.

But enough was enough.

Ever since middle school she had kept a diary. A few stacks of books tucked away in the back of her closet hid her deepest feelings and every detail about her life. The current one she had been filling was almost full and the last quarter of the notebook was all Rafe. Well to be honest he was in all of them, and not in a weird way. He was just always there, they were always together.

But now that they didn’t spend time together her pages consisted of rants of her boring school days and writing different scenarios she had wished happened that night instead of what did. She had ranted about how he made her feel and how she felt seeing him on some other girl. A girl that wasn’t her. It should have been her.

After everything they had done together how could he not see her in the way she sees him? Maybe he did live up to his cold hearted reputation. Even though he had never done anything wrong before. She actually can’t remember the last time she saw him hook up with anyone. Not since the beginning of junior year and back then he was fully in his coke addiction. She remembers that night like it was yesterday.

They had become friends around that time the year before. Summer before sophomore year they met at midsummers when she caught him and his friends in the storage closet drinking from a bottle of vodka. Y/n told them she wouldn’t say anything if they let her have some. Rafe immediately liked her, she knew what she wanted and she got it.

Now it was a year later and he can feel her eyes on him as he kissed some rich touron. He was high out of his mind and he just wanted to make y/n jealous. But it didn’t work, the look he had caught from her as he trailed behind the redhead he just met was one more of disappointment. He felt his heart clench at the feeling. After that night he decided to get clean and stop the hard drugs because he hated that look.

She couldn’t take it anymore, keeping all of her feelings on sheets of paper. She needed to find him and yell at or just do something. He has confused her for years now and she was sick of it. Especially now that Rafe and her were closer than ever. All her pent of feelings seeped through as she sighed exasperatedly, putting her pen that had been furiously writing down. Slamming it on the desk as she harshly pushed herself up from her desk.

With anger she had stormed out of the house and driven to his. Her sneakers stomping on the ground as she marched towards him. Every one of their memories together flashing through her head.

She had spotted him on the dock and was b lining towards him. Rafe’s head turned as he heard her stomping towards him. His stomach flipped when his eyes landed on y/n, he had really missed seeing her around. Especially at his house. He propped his sunglasses up on his head and hopped back onto the dock. He had been getting the boat ready for a solo boat day to clear his head.

“Y/n?” He asked in disbelief.

“You!” She pointed at him and stopping once her finger was poking his chest, “Why are you the way you are!” Her finger jabbing into his chest with every word.

He watched as her chest rose and fell quickly. He had never really seen her mad before, something he always admired. But now seeing her with furrowed brows and steam practically coming out of her ears, he kind of liked it. Rafe knows he shouldn’t be thinking about how cute she looks and instead be getting on his knees begging for forgiveness.

He had really missed seeing her up close. Missed how dark her lashes were and how glossy her plump lips always were. He counted all her freckles to make sure she didn’t get any new ones while they were away from each other. Her hair was in a style he hadn’t seen on her before.

“Well hi to you too,” He smirked. He couldn’t help himself, couldn’t help use the charm he knew she loved.

She placed her palms on his chest and shoved him, barely making him move. Y/n began ranting, “For the last fucking four years you have been my best friend and you’ve been so confusing! Everything was fine at first but-but then you were always there for me whenever. And you always fucking listened to me. And you’re so funny. I started to feel different and then I saw you at that fucking party,” She glared at him, the image of him on that girl making her nauseous, “And then you changed. You don’t hook up with anyone and you don’t leave my side at parties,” she laughed sarcastically, “You even fucking call me babe sometimes. So I though oh maybe he feels different too then again I saw you on some fucking girl. And you chase after me so Rafe what the fuck do you want from me? Has this all just been bullshit to you? Am I just some fucking girl you get to flirt with to get your weird little fix until you find someone you actually want to be with?”

He rolled his eyes almost offended, “You know you’re not just some girl.”

She scoffed with wide eyes, “That’s all you took away from that. What else am I supposed to think? You make me feel special for years and I just wait and wait. Then when I think things are finally happening you go and kiss some girl.”

“Y/n-“

“Who fucking knows what would have happened if I hadn’t walked in.”

“Can I-“

“I know you would have fucked her and then came home to me to talk about your problems like I’m some wife in the 50s.”

“You-“

“You kill me Rafe.”

“Stop!” He practically shouted as he placed his hands on her shoulders. She closed her mouth and stared at him intensely.

“I was afraid you didn’t feel the same so I kept my feelings down. I’ve liked you since the moment I met you. But I was fucked up then so I didn’t act like it until I saw how much I hurt you. I changed for you and-and then I just got scared. You are someone so beyond me, you are like the nicest smartest most beautiful person. Why the fuck would you want me?” He laughed like it was obvious, “And we’re such good friends it was terrifying to think about how if I fucked it up I wouldn’t have you at all. No one’s ever actually tried to get to know me the way you have. And then I did fuck it up again,” he sighed scratching the back of his neck, “I shouldn’t have let her kiss me that night. I should have found you and told you what I’ve been feeling since I met you. That I love you so much it actually hurts. And it’s hurt me knowing I made you upset.”

“Rafe,” She sighed as her eyes softened. This was not going at all how she expected things to go.

“I get I fucked it up, so if you still never want to see me again that’s fine. But please give me a chance,” He was actually contemplating getting on his knees to beg.

“You’re such a big dumby. You’ve always had a chance. You mean so much to me. Rafe the only reason I haven’t applied to out of state schools is because I want to be with you. Even if it was just as friends,” She sighed feeling like a weight had been lifter off of her shoulders. A part of her still wanted to punch him.

He took a step closer lifting his hand and softly brushing his fingers across her cheek as he cupped her face, “Will you please go out with me? Because I am so in love with you.”

She leaned up towards him. Their noses now brushing, “I love you,”

He smiled as he pulled her towards him, their lips meeting. The kiss felt like every taylor swift love song playing at once. All the yearning felt worth it in that moments. Their lips moved against each other languidly, like they’ve always been doing this. Rafe’s hands moved to her waist, gripping in all the right places.

Y/n’s hand ran through his hair tugging when his hands reached lower giving her butt a squeeze.Rafe melted at her soft sighs and quiet moans as he trailed kisses down to her neck. Kissing behind her ear. He kissed her cheek as he faced her again. Her hazy eyes and swollen lips made his blood flow to a certain lower part of his body.

“Rafe, this doesn’t mean I’m not still kinda mad at you. You have a lot of making up to do,” She smiled innocently at him.

“Baby I’ll give you whatever you want. In fact, let’s go shopping now for our date tonight,” He kissed her one more time before moving to hold her hand dragging her towards his car.

She laughed as she trailed behind him knowing that one shopping trip wasn’t going to make it better. He owed her big time.

“It also doesn’t mean we’re boyfriend and girlfriend because you haven’t asked me,” She smiled smugly at him as he opened the door to his truck for her.

“I guess I have my work cut out for me then,” He said leaning against the frame of door once she had sat down.

“you do.”

He leaned up and kissed her softly, “Anything for you baby.”

[r0tting-rat]

DCA PROMPTOBER 2024

Life (school) is kicking me in my non-existent nuts (giving me essays to write) guys Idk if I can mansplain manipulate manwhore my way out of this

Day 20 - Trapped

Pairing: Mer!Eclipse x GN reader Warning: Blood Words: EXACTLY 2400 WORDS BITCH Summary: Continuation of this post, go and read if you don't understand anything :>

The two mers you had encountered during your trip to the underwater cave had dragged you in their nest easily, grabbing each an ankle and swimming faster than your brain could process. In a panic, you had tried to fight them unsuccessfully and only resulted in hurting yourself further with the hard scales of their bodies. With your wounded hands you had grabbed their tails and fins, trying to convince them to let you go, but after a few pathetic tries the blue one got fed up with you and grabbed both your wrists, snarling in your face something you managed to understand despite the language barrier. 

“Stay put.”

You decided to listen, not wanting to make your death any more painful than it already was going to be, but under the mers’ grip you were shaking in fear. The way the two of them would communicate between each other didn’t help you at all, considering they were probably talking about the best ways to eat you. 

At some point at the end of the cave, which had been a dark blur of algae and rocks until then, tightened around you. They were dragging you who-knows-where through a hole big enough for the two of them to swim side by side, which was slowly getting smaller and smaller, until the bright yellow mer chirped something to his companion and stayed behind, allowing the other to continue dragging you along without hindrance. You stared at the mer swimming close behind you, trying to understand his intention, and in response he smiled at you. The white teeth glistened in the darkness around you, and you quivered.

After what was barely a minute but which felt like an hour to you, the tunnel opened in a bigger and brighter cave around you, blinding you with its light and making you flinch. Before you could understand what was happening, your body was flung with great force over the water and thrown on an emerging rock. Scrambling to get back to your feet as soon as you realized that you were on the surface, you slipped on the wet surface under you and fell on your side, hitting your shoulder and hip with a cry of pain. Wet and rough hands grabbed your mask, pulling it away from your face as you fought against them, as another pair took off your fins and began to rip away your diving suit, leaving you in your swimsuit and a few new scratches. 

Once your entire diving gear had been removed, you hurried to crawl away from the two creatures perched on the rock like hungry vultures, with their tails dipping in the water, desperately attempting to put as much distance between you and them. The mers looked at you, curious and amused at the same time, until the yellow one looked down at the oxygen tank and chirped something in his language. You looked as the other mer shook his head, replying with a growl, and then the first of the two threw the tank in the water behind him, along with your mask and the rest of your gear. 

-Hey!- you screamed, even if they probably couldn’t understand the value of your diving gear, -Give them back!-

The yellow mer laughed, a throaty and raspy sound that reminded you of a dying animal, and then pushed himself back in the water. His companion was still on the rock with you, observing you with his terrible red eyes, until he opened his razor-sharp toothed mouth and spoke in your language.

-S-ssta-y,- he said, -Hee-re safe.-

You were left even more scared than before, mouth opening and closing in disbelief, until a weak “what” left your throat and the mer slipped back into the water to join his friend. Did the fish just fucking talk to you? Had you imagined it? 

You were left on the rock, surrounded by water in the middle of a large cave, your only light being the one coming in from a hole in the ceiling. Moss and various plants grew on the walls surrounding you, you saw small animals like bugs and birds coming in and out from the hole, but even that beautiful paradise made of shining water and quiet life wasn’t enough to keep you from crying. Once the realization that you were about to die downed on you, you began to tear up, hiding your face in your hands and shaking with both fear and cold. You wanted to go back home, to your loved ones, but because of your stupid mistake you ended up being the lunch of two stupid fishmen. Your life sucked, and it was also going to end early.

The day was almost over, you were freezing and hungry, and no matter how much you tried, you couldn’t find a way to escape. At some point, in a moment of desperation, you had tried to enter the water and find the opening where you had come in—despite knowing you wouldn’t have survived it if you attempted to cross the tunnel—but the sun was setting and you couldn’t see anything underwater. At some point something had brushed against your foot and you had panicked, returning to the surface and climbing back on the hard and cold rock, refusing to stay and look for any other entrances deeper in the cave. You had no other choice; you were going to die there, either by starving or mauled by one of those mers. 

The little piece of sky you could see through the hole in the ceiling was turning a haunting color red, angry and violent, tinting the water around you of a horrifying crimson shade, like something had died there and its blood had mixed with the ocean. You stared at the sun setting, asking yourself if you were going to survive the chilly night, when you heard a sound that made you freeze. It came from the bottom of the cave, deep and chilling, and it sounded like the growl of an enormous animal. Its voice was nothing similar to the ones of the two mers you had met; more gravelly and rough, and it was so loud you heard the rock you were sitting on vibrate under you. 

-Oh, would you look at this?- spoke the voice, echoing so loudly in the cave you could hear it even inside your head, -My little hunters have brought me a treat.-

You were shaking, looking around for the owner of the voice, terrified beyond logic and comprehension. You hugged yourself and tried to stop the tears from spilling out.

-W-What’s going on…?!- you whimpered, -Where… Who are…?-

-Behind you, little bird,- purred the voice, and you snapped your head around so violently you hurt your neck. From the water, something double the size of your boat emerged in an instant, blocking the light coming from the ceiling with its height and casting you in its huge shadow. All you saw were red scales the size of your hand, yellow eyes with vertical pupils, sharp teeth the size of your entire arm, and two pairs of clawed hands coming out and gripping the rock you were sitting on so hard they left marks on the stone. Your entire vision was covered by the color of blood, your lungs were spasming in your chest, attempting to get enough air to breathe, and your legs refused to respond to you anymore. What stood before you—and over you—was a mer the size of a house, terrifying in its imposing size and pinning you on the ground with its stare. You screamed when the tentacle of an octopus wrapped around your legs, keeping you from squirming away, while many others surrounded your little stop on the rock, cutting off any escape routes. 

-Well, are you having fun yet?- mused the mer, resting his chin on two of his hands while the other two tapped the stone, -I hope Sun and Moon have treated you well.-

You were too scared to understand the meaning of those words, your heart was beating so loud you could hear it drumming in your ears, fast and unrelenting. All you could look at were those teeth.

-Is something wrong, little bird?- the mer leaned closer, curious, and in response you tried to shift away with no results. -Did Sun eat your tongue already?-

Seeing that you weren’t answering, the monster rolled his eyes and scoffed, looking suddenly bored. 

-Oh, how sad. Do those shrimps think I’m that easy to please, that any human would do? Did I not tell them I like them feisty and loud? What a shame, truly.- He used one of his claws to poke at your side, at which you screamed and trashed on the spot, trying to push the finger away. -You’re even one of the cute ones, too bad you’re boring.-

While the creature tormented you, you were desperately trying to get your brain to start working, overwhelmed by nonsensical fear and panic. 

-P-Please, don’t eat me!- you found yourself begging, looking up at the monster with tear-filled eyes, -L-Let me go…!-

-Eat you?- wheezed the mer, -Ah! What should I eat? Should I attempt to peel away the fat from your weak bones and hope that’s somehow enough to satisfy me? No, my bird, I will continue eating sharks and small whales, if you don’t mind.-

You couldn’t make sense of the creature’s words. You could understand them perfectly, but still they remained incomprehensible. What did he mean by that? What did he want from you if not to eat you? Slowly, the gears in your brain returned to their job, so you swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to stop your lips from quivering. 

-H-How… How can you talk?- you asked, and that made the mer’s eyes light up in joy. Something that resembled fins rose up from around his face, creating a crown of orange, red, and yellow, which reminded you of one the smaller mer you had previously met.

-Now we’re talking, little thing!- he smiled, all sharp teeth and black gums, -I love it when you humans use your curiosity for good, it always excites me to see which questions you have for me.-

The mer leaned closer once more, getting all up in your personal space with his round face and sniffing you.

-You’re hurt, no wonder you were so scared,- he mused, laying his head right in front of you, -I’ll tell Moon to medicate your wounds later, but now, you want to know how I am capable of speaking, do you not?-

Confused and still scared, you nodded, hoping that could keep him entertained for enough time, until he decided you weren’t fun anymore and left you to the other two sea monsters to take care of. 

-I am simply as old as modern civilization itself, little bird,- the creature replied with a big smile, -When I was born, you still used to sail the seas with carracks and caravels. You gazed into the depths of the oceans, both amazed and terrified, you wandered around like small children allowed by their parents to stay outside and play for a little more. Back then, you still had respect for my species, unlike now.-

Your eyes ran over the monster’s face and arms, seeing for the first time the amount of scars and old wounds covering its skin like a battleground. You also noticed that the mer’s scales had a beautiful glittery texture that made him shine like a ruby even in the dark, illuminating the now completely obscured cave around you. 

That monster was more than 500 years old, you realized. You were looking at a creature that had seen history unraveling before his eyes.

-Are the other two going to be as big as you one day?- you asked, and the mer chuckled. His laugh shook the ground under you.

-Sun and Moon? Oh, if they manage to live to my age, they will become even bigger,- he answered, -I took those two under my protection, they are like siblings to me.- 

The smile on the mer’s face softened as he looked at you. 

-Do you know what I want from you?- he asked, and you shook your head, -I want to learn your story. That’s what I always ask the humans I find: who they are, what they do, where they come from—I seek entertainment. Can you give me that?- 

You looked away, suddenly feeling embarrassed of yourself, but the monster used one of his claws to turn your face back, in a silent warning that he wanted you to keep your eyes on him and him only.

-So?- he egged you on, making you squirm in your spot.

-My life isn’t that interesting,- you tried to say, but the monster interrupted you before you could continue. 

-Liar,- he laughed, -Everybody has a story to tell. You are the only person in history to have lived certain moments, to have met certain people in specific places and times. The sum of your experiences has made you completely unique and inimitable, so now I want to hear your story.-

More tentacles emerged from the water, laying themselves on the rock around you like birds perched on branches of a tree. His voice rumbled with authority, and you understood that was an order, not a question; that mer wasn’t asking you to tell him a story, he was commanding you to do so. You shivered, unable to decide if staring at his sharp teeth could be considered rude, and pretended not to notice how the tentacle that he had curled around your legs was pulling you closer to him. 

-I’ll give you the time to rearrange your thoughts, little one, but I shall not take no for an answer,- a large smirk opened on the monster’s face, -You have no say in this matter.-

-Before I start,- you said, nervous to know what would have happened if your story had been revealed to be too boring to listen to, -What is your name?-

A loud purr came out of the mer’s throat, rumbling and comforting like a cat's. -You shall call me Eclipse,- he answered, -And from now on that’ll be everything you will learn about me, not a word more. Now, you better begin to talk, little thing, I’m getting impatient.-

[mollycabot]

Alex Cabot X Reader It’s Ok Not to be ok

A/N talks about mental health and struggles with mental health, and SH Scars Alex wonders why her girlfriend hasn’t contacted her in a while

Alex was sat in her office chatting with Olivia a Casey and doing her paperwork however something was playing on Alex’s mind.

“What’s up Alex you been a bit quiet is everything ok?” Casey asked and Olivia looked like she was about to asks the same thing.

“No I’m worried I haven’t heard from Y/N In a while normally she would text me or swing by the office at lunch but I haven’t heard from her the last text she sent me was two days ago staying she not well and was taking some time off,” Alex said Olivia and Casey shared a look.

“Why do you call and we can see if she wants to join us for a girls movie night at mine” Casey offered.

“Not a bad idea” Alex agreed and got out her phone,

“Hello” Y/n said “Y/N hi how are you dear it’s been a while” Alex said.

“Yes my apologies Alex I just been really tried want to come around or something?” Y/N asked secretly hoping she wouldn’t have to go anywhere.

“Well me and Casey and Liv are going to have a movie night if you want to join us?” Alex explained.

“Sure that sounds like fun I get ready and meet you at your office?” Y/N said “alright sounds like a plan love you lots” Alex said and hung up.

“So what it’s it?” Casey asked “she said yes and she coming by the office” Alex relaid the phone call to Casey and Olivia.

Y/N got herself out of bed and worked her way through her mess apartment and walked into her bathroom. She looked at herself in the mirror and started crying she had always struggled with mental health and she was scared of Alex finding out however after a few bad days everything was building up and be became to much.

Once Y/N pulled herself together she grabbed her zip hoodie and bag and made her way to the DA’s office.

Decided against taking a cab Y/N walked all the way in the rain once she arrived she made her way to Alex’s office by this time Casey and Olivia had gone round to Casey’s while Alex waited.

“Hey love you ok, wait did you walk her?” Alex said looking at her girlfriend who was drowning in her wet clothes. Y/N nodded and Alex shock her head lightly.

“What I’m going to do with you Y/N here” Alex said taking out some spare clothes and a towel go get yourself changed” while I tidy up my office” Alex said

Y/N nodded and went to go short herself out. Shit Y/N thought Alex gave me a tank top and some leggings but no hoodie.

Once Y/N got changed she made her way back to Alex’s office as Alex was shorting out some files Y/N saw her hoodie and ran to get it and put it on so Alex wouldn’t have to see her scars however Alex turned around.

“You ready?” Alex said as she turned to look at her girlfriend “oh honey”alex took in her lover’s appearance “Y/N why don’t we sit on my couch for a second” Alex gently said as she guided Y/N over to sit down.

“Y/N I’ve got to ask and I’m sorry but have you been struggling lately?” Alex gently said in the hopes of not upsetting Y/N.

Y/N started crying “I’m so sorry Alex I was going to tell you I promise I just idk I felt so low all my life I struggle and struggle until I got so overwhelmed and I was scared that you would think differently of me or you would hate me I mean look at me and my apartment is a mess I can’t remember the last time I had a actual meal and wasn’t just Pringles or energy drinks or take out.”

“Hun take a breath for me please” Alex said pulling Y/N into her arms “it’s all going to be ok I promise you and please please if you are struggling come to me I will help and I won’t push you away or hate you you are mine and I will always love you and you are funny sweet kind and your my perfect love” Alex said hugging Y/N Tight.

“Come on love we need to get going or Casey and Liv are going to be wondering where we got to” Alex laughed “ok but wait what about my hoodie” Y/N said “well that’s still wet but here” Alex gave Y/N her turtleneck long sleeve. Y/N smiled and put it on

“Thank Alex love” Y/N said taking Alex’s hand as they walked out and got into a cab and made there way to Casey apartment.

“Well if it isn’t the two love birds who took forever” Casey said jokingly as she invited Y/N and Alex In.

“Snacks are on the table and blankets on the couch please make yourself comfortable” Casey said heading back into the living room. Alex took a spot on the couch and Y/N crawled into Alex’s lap.

“Aww look at that so sweet” Olivia said as Alex combed through Y/N’s hair with her hand as the moive was playing Alex and Casey and Olivia where making small talk, “why is Y/N so quite?” Casey asked as everyone looked towards Y/N “aww she asleep” Casey said quietly not wanting to wake the sleeping girl.

“She had a long day” Alex explained “aww bless her” Olivia said “why don’t you take her to my guess room and you guys can stay the night” Casey offered. And Alex thanked her as she picked Y/N up and carried her to the bedroom as Olivia and Casey tidy up the living room.

Once Olivia left Casey gently knocked on the door and dropped some PJs off for Alex and Y/N.

“Thanks case I will change but I don’t want to wake Y/N up so I’m just going to head to bed with her.” Alex said

“That’s alright good night Alex” Casey said closing the door behind her. Once Alex was ready for bed she careful got in to bed and gently scooped Y/N into her arms.

“I will always be her my sweet love and you got me and it’s ok not to be ok and I will help you anyway I can, good night my sweet” Alex kiss Y/N headed and remove her glasses and turned the lights off and close her eyes herself and went to sleep.

[alluringnectar]

Timeless

abby anserson x fem!reader

a/n: idk how to use tumblr so my fault the layout is ass, i’ll improve lemme cook 😭🙏🏽. ts work is a repost, so its crappy. lmk if yu want smut cus i’ll write it.

summary: you’ve been promoted & you come across abby.

warnings: sfw, js shit talking.

pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3

Beep beep.

You groan, not ready to get up. Your hands fumble for the alarm clock, pressing every button your fingertips graze.

Beep beep!

How the hell is it still sounding? You ask yourself, finally lifting your head from the pillow to check the time.

6:43 am.

Shit.

You're usually awake and ready by this time, but yesterday you were out partying with your friends. Your recent promotion within the W.L.F. had warranted a night of revelry, but now the consequences were clear: a foggy mind and a rush to start the day. You had gained new perks from Isaac himself. Your friends thought this was deserving of a celebration, so they invited everyone from the W.L.F. You didn’t hate partying, but you preferred just hanging out with your friends. Among others, you were considered friendly, which was the truth— but you did like some time alone as patrols really tired you out.

Today was about clearing your clouded mind from worries, just living in the moment! Last night was one of the best nights you had in a while; you got to meet great people. You met a man named Manny; he was playful and divertido, a trait you admired. He was happy to introduce you to his other friends as they were going to be your new partners for patrols. A couple, Owen and Mel, came forward to greet you. “Your hair is so healthy and silky! I’d do anything for long hair like yours!” Mel smiled, and you grinned, thanking her.

You’ve always prioritized your looks and emphasized the importance of being well-groomed. You loved makeup, pink, and putting bows in your long hair. It was what made you, you. You found comfort within femininity throughout the apocalypse and the battle against scars. Your thoughts were interrupted when you heard something approaching Manny, Owen, Mel, and you. As soon as you looked up to see who it was, you couldn’t help but stare. Her hair was braided, wearing a tank top so you could see the density of her muscles. She had a calm demeanor, and you crossed your arms in a playful way. “Have I seen you before?” She smiled with her teeth, and you swear you could’ve folded right then and there. “No, you haven’t,” you felt your cheeks burn, giggling at the thought of her actually wanting to get to know you.

“Abby,” said the blonde woman. Abby. The name seemed to suit her. “Father’s joy,” you mumbled. “What?” Abby asked, genuinely curious. “That’s what Abby means,” you smiled warmly at her, waiting for a response. Abby chuckled; she raised her arm to rub your back. “What’s your name then?”

Before you could respond, Mel snapped, saying your name to Abby. You were confused by the abruptness of her answer. As you turned to look at Mel, she looked angry. Not at you. At Abby. Abby smiled softly and looked over at you, a look that you could forever hold in your heart. “I’ll see you around,” and with that, she walked away, heading towards another group with Manny, way more welcoming than Mel. At the corner of your eye, you saw the way Owen looked at Abby. He looked at her as if he had regrets, as if he lost something they had. You decided to shake it off, as it may only be your imagination. “What’s wrong, Mel?” you asked her, with genuine concern about why she's cold. She smiled at you softly and told you “Oh, it’s nothing. I just wanted to look out for a new friend. Abby is not someone you want to be hanging out with.” You hummed to yourself. You usually don’t believe what you hear, only what you see.

“She’s a shitty person.”

“She’s selfish.”

“She’s a liar.”

Despite Mel’s warnings, you still wanted to get to know Abby. Your desire to learn more about her grew. She sparked your curiosity, and the yearning blossomed.

After the night was over, you took your heels off and collapsed in your bed. You were excited about what new patrols you can take on tomorrow and who was going to be your partner. You ended up falling asleep, staring at the ceiling while Abby lingered in the back of your mind.

Now you were brushing your teeth, putting on a Lulu Define jacket, and tight flared black yoga pants. You put your hair in a slickback, put your sneakers on, and walked out the door. This was your first patrol after being promoted by Isaac. As you walked into the gym, you walked to the treadmills as your usual routine is cardio. Then you feel a hand placed on your shoulder; you turned your head back and it’s Abby. She smiles at you, and you smile back, blush tainting your cheeks. Abby parts her lips. “This outfit looks cute on you.”

“Thank you, Abby.” What Abby doesn’t know is that her compliment will be forever in your mind. Only within minutes talking to her - and only meeting her yesterday - she already makes you all giddy like a teenage girl in love. “Care to get some breakfast with me after you’re done with your cardio?” she asks, and you nod eagerly. “Of course, I will. Who would ever pass up that offer?” you giggle. Abby smirks at not just your reply, but at your giggle. She found you cute and amusing, but she was afraid Mel already said something to you. She didn’t want to mess up this chance— she couldn’t lose you when she never even had you. She’ll be careful and gentle even if it would take longer. Time will pass.

After 30 minutes, you considered yourself done for the day, as it was just a warm-up for the patrol later in the evening. You saw Abby sitting on the bench, wiping her sweat off the weights— she was thoughtful of others, and you kept that in mind. How could she ever be selfish? You walk up to her and tell her “Do you wanna go now?” Abby grins and says “I’d love to.”

Today’s menu was breakfast grilled cheese with Greek yogurt parfait- not bad! Since Abby has some perks, both of you got your meal pretty quickly and some good seats! “Have you seen the new patrol rotation?” Abby asks, and you shake your head “No actually, I was planning to check after the gym” you reply. “Maybe we can check together then. After this meal of course” she chuckles. Her smile is so cute, and you’d cross the whole world just to see it again. “You know, you’re not what I expected you to be.” Abby looks up at you, brows furrowed in confusion. “Mel said something didn’t she?” You sigh but nod, “I just think it’s funny how you’re the exact opposite of what she claimed for you to be. She’s sweet, but she was wrong about you. Don’t tell her but I think I’m starting to prefer you” you giggle, putting your fingers onto Abby’s lips as if to shush her. Abby was quiet alright, but not for the reason you’d think it would be. She’s thinking of your fingers gently touching her lips, leaning in for a kiss. Her thoughts are interrupted when you speak, “Do you wanna go check the board for patrols now?”

“Let’s go.” Abby stands up, pushes her chair back into the table and takes your hand— never roughly, as she’d never want to break you— fragility as a porcelain vase. Her calloused fingertips and palms, now holding your forearm, something that you’ll think about to help you sleep.

As you’re approaching the board, there’s a whole crowd of people, surrounding it. While some are content with their role and duo, others are muttering under their breath “fuck.” You can’t help but keep your fingers crossed that you’ll get Abby. As you and Abby kept shoving your way through, yelling “ ‘xcuse me!” you finally make your way to the front, and both of you immediately scan for your name. Then, you see it.

You and Abby. She seems to notice too, because she’s whispering “looks like you’re stuck with me for a little longer.” You giggle, lightly elbowing her playfully.

In reality, you'd prefer to be with her more than anyone else.

[justaragdollysblog]

-Sensory Deprivation- Jesterdoll Fic-

Hi! I haven’t written in a while, I’ve been working like crazy! But I’m back w an original one shot!

hopefully I can get this other request done and epilogue to IIHGI out! Please know I’ve never used a tank like this; i’ve only read about them!

TW: ANXIETY, PANIC, FEAR, NEGATIVE OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE (please read with caution!), DE-REALIZATION (idk if it will count as that but just in case! pls pls pls be cautious!)

———————————————————————-

Ragatha stood nervously outside of the dark room.

The adventure yesterday had been grueling and terrifying; saving a kidnapped queen from a band of pirates. Everyone came back upset and waterlogged, barely eating at the feast.

Now, Caine was a lot of things, but he wasn’t blind or uncaring. He noticed how everyone reacted to the adventure; even Ragatha’s thinly veiled optimism didn’t convince the AI. He declared the next adventure would be in-house and relaxing.

He dragged everyone up from the breakfast table, promising a ‘rewarding experience with water this time’, leading everyone to a random door in a random hallway. What the door said on a sign made Ragatha’s heart sink with dread:

‘Sensory Deprivation Tank’.

To most people this would be calming. A chance to turn the screaming in their minds to white noise as they floated with all sensory stimuli on the back burner. They would willingly give themselves as a vessel to the static and space.

Ragatha would never understand it.

Was she accepting and open minded about different forms of coping and relaxation? Yes! But in the deep reaches of her mind and subconscious; she knew she’d had a terrible experience before.

That brings her to right now, wringing her hands nervously as she reluctantly approached the door. Everyone had gone before her; talking about how relaxing and pleasantly otherworldly the experience was.

Pomni noticed her hesitance and put a hand on her shoulder. “You don’t have to do this, Raggy. I’m sure Caine would…let you do something else.”

From behind the two, Jax scoffed. “Wow. You’re always trying to act like you’re fine, doll, and the opportunity presents itself and you don’t even wanna do it. You know, you might like it.” He had a glint in his eye; relishing his job as resident instigator.

Ragatha looked away in hurt, hand poised to turn the handle. “I’ll be okay, Poms! I promise.” She managed a smile and kissed Pomni on the forehead.

Pomni blushed slightly at the kiss and managed an equally nervous smile. “Okay. Just…stay safe, okay? We’re all right here, for better or worse.” She shot a glare in Jax’s direction.

“Thank you, sweetheart. I’ll be back, okay?” She smiled and walked in, closing the door behind her.

The room was dimly lit with white noise playing; or what sounded like a whale call and bird chirping combined. Ragatha chalked it up to Caine guessing what white noise was supposed to sound like.

In the center of the room was the tank; shaped like an egg and ready to cut you off from everything you cling onto to stay alive.

She took a deep, steadying breath. Everyone else had done it; everyone else had a great time. Everyone else is fine. She would be too.

She gently opened the lid to the tank, and she went pale. She didn’t wanna do this. She wanted to desperately claw at the door. Something about the maw of the tank and the concept and-

She shook her head. She’d be okay. Even if she wasn’t, she’d be okay. She climbed into the tank and closed her eyes.

She floated on the water, salt helping to keep her doll body afloat. She closed her eye, and tried to relax.

Ten minutes, Caine had said. Ten minutes, and she’d be out. Hell, maybe she’d be doing this regularly if it helped.

• • • • •

Ragatha didn’t like this at all.

She couldn’t feel anything, she couldn’t taste, or see, or touch. She couldn’t smell or hear.

Optimistic and laid back as she was; Ragatha always liked being in control of a situation. Of how she felt in the moment.

It was so, so incredibly dark. So dark compared to the circus; to the tent; to the void. It was almost like the cellar.

She willed herself to wake up; to scream and make a scene and get out. She wanted to get out.

She felt her pace quicken as her heartbeat sped up. Dark. Dark, like the cellar. Dark like where she’d one day end up.

Then, in the expansive and boundless dark, there were eyes. Bright, rapidly glowing eyes with bright scleras. They blinked around hurriedly, sprouting all over everything. Her entire world, at this moment, was covered in abstraction eyes.

No, no, this couldn’t be right. Her heartbeat continued to quicken and her breaths became shorter and shallower.

She’d end up in the cellar, she’d end up dead, no one would miss her, no one would realize she was gone, this was her fate now-

She whimpered softly, escalating into panicked sobs. They’d be having her funeral- Who would take care of everyone else- Who would miss her- Who was she?

She was loudly sobbing now, muffled by the heavy lid of the tank. She wanted out. She was certain it had been ten minutes already.

She wanted out.

———-

Pomni was in the common room with Caine, pacing. “Ragatha’s been in there for an hour, Caine! You need to let me in there; she could be hurt or scared!”

Caine simply tilted his head in genuine confusion. “My dear, these are supposed to help! Aren’t they?”

Pomni groaned, running her hands down her face. “Sometimes it doesn’t! Not everything works for everyone; especially not something like this!” She stomped her foot.

Caine raised an eyebrow, which was just his upper gum. “But you liked the experience, didn’t you?”

Pomni anxiously tugged on her jester hat. “We don’t have time for this! We have to get her out!”

Caine shrugged. “If that’s what you want, we’ll send her back!”

He snapped his fingers and there she was, on the ground next to them. The massive, abrupt switch from no sensory to every stimulation in the circus was almost too much, and she sat up and backed against the wall, shaking and quiet.

“Ragatha! Hey, hey, It’s me! It’s Pomni. I’m right here, you’re here.” She tried to approach Ragatha, who was holding herself with a distant stare at nothing in particular.

Pomni moved slowly and methodically, placing a a hand on her shoulder. Ragatha barely responded.

Pomni swiftly picked her up, her fabric body very lightweight to hold. She shot Caine a deadly glare. “We’re not ever doing this adventure again.”

Caine nodded, and Pomni headed out with her to Ragatha’s room. Ragatha was quiet the entire time, and Pomni placed loving and gentle kisses on her face and forehead.

As they approached the doll’s room, she vowed to never let this happen again.

——————————————————————

WOO! i hope i wrote that okay! i’ve never used a tank like that so i kinda winged it!

reblogs are appreciated! see u guys next time!

[birdiewriteslit]

“driving me crazy”

eddie roundtree x fem!reader

you and eddie have never gotten along. is it because you hate each other, or is it because you’re both to proud to admit something?

enemies to lovers😏😏 also idk how long this is bc tumblr doesn’t have a word count smh but it is longer than my other stuff

warning: making out at the end (spoiler lol), suggestive

part 2

EDDIE: Y/n, man. That woman is no joke. We hated each other, at least for a while.

Y/N: He was always such an ass to me. Eddie, I mean. I really hated him. (pause) Until I didn’t.

The burning hatred Eddie felt for you started the day you auditioned for the band. Chuck had just left for school, and Eddie wanted to move from rhythm guitar to bass.

Like always, Billy shut down his request and decided to let people audition for the position. In his words, he wanted someone to “earn it.”

Eddie was already irritated from seeing Billy act like the previous performances were better than what he could do, so you can imagine how he felt when one actually was.

The last audition of the day. You strode up the driveway, big sunglasses over your eyes, sporting jeans and a tight tank top, but definitely not a smile.

Eddie just knew. There was no way he was getting that spot. Your playing didn’t even shock him. Of course, it was fantastic. Just great.

After that, it was all cold stares and angry glares. He wanted to make it very clear that he didn’t like you. He made a considerable effort to stay out of your way. He wouldn’t speak to you, look at you, or even think about you. Well, he tried very hard not to.

One night, a few weeks after your admission, you fell into step with him as he walked home after a rehearsal that ran long. He was moderately surprised by this and figured you would go away if he just ignored you.

You didn’t. You pulled out a cigarette and placed it between your lips. “Have a light?” you asked.

He furrowed his brows, trying to figure out what you were doing. After a moment, he nodded, pulled out his lighter, and lit your cigarette.

“Thanks,” you said. “So, is there any reason why you hate being around me?”

He was so taken aback that he stopped walking. “Sorry?”

You looked at him from over your sunglasses. It made him sort of angry that you were wearing them at nine p.m. when it was pitch black.

“You gonna answer the question?”

“Yes, there are many reasons.” Bullshit. There was only one and, honestly, it wasn’t a very solid one.

You said nothing and walked back up to him, removing the cigarette from your mouth and putting it out on his denim jacket, burning the material.

Eddie was more bewildered than mad when you pushed the glasses to the top of your head and smiled at him like you’d just done him a very nice favor. He never noticed your eye color before then, or how it looked in the moonlight.

“By the way, that jacket really reminds me of Billy.”

Okay, now he knew he was mad. He struggled to come up with a comeback and just moved his mouth in a stupid way that made you laugh when you left him standing there.

EDDIE: She knew exactly what she was doing. She’s always been good at that, making me mad on purpose.

Y/N: It was really funny. He doesn’t think so, but I was laughing about that for days.

The two of you continued throwing insults at each other for the months leading up to LA. Eddie’s favorite thing to do was comment on every mistake you made, much to everyone’s dismay.

He was just jealous of your abilities and, deep down, he admired them. You always knew just what to say back to him, adding unnecessary fuel to the fire.

More than once Billy had to yell at you to stop fighting. You both would resort to sending each other hateful looks and crude hand gestures for the rest of practice.

Driving to California was the real hell. Being cooped up in that van with Eddie for that long made you restless.

If it weren’t for Camila holding you back, there would’ve been several times where you launched yourself at him.

It was so nice to have another girl around. Camila was a good mediator for the two of you. You missed that when you went on tour.

Karen also knew how to break up a fight, but sometimes she would let you hash it out for the fun of it. Not like you minded, she probably knew how much fun you had while messing with Eddie.

Soon enough, things went downhill. Camila had the baby, which was good. Julia was such a sweet baby. Billy went to rehab, which was also good, for him and his family, but bad for the band.

The tour was canceled. A lot of money was lost. It was not a very fun time.

You sympathized with Billy. He had been going through a lot, and you understood how hard it was for somebody to recover from that level of drug abuse. Addiction was a gene that seemed to run in your family, with your mother being absent for most of your life and your father having to pick up the pieces.

Billy and Camila were the only people who knew about it. You didn’t think the others needed to know when none of them could relate to your situation.

Eddie didn’t understand. He went on and on about how bad of a guy Billy was. It made you furious the way he implied that Camila should leave him.

The rest of your fights were petty compared to the one you had on the day Billy got out of rehab. Eddie started complaining about Billy’s nerve or something along those lines. You flipped out. You told him he had no idea what he was talking about and stormed out of the room.

That shut him up. He stared blankly at the door you just walked out of and thanked God that it had only been the two of you in the room before.

He was relieved that no one else heard what he said because realized he was being childish. Even though he hated Billy he should still be proud of what he overcame.

He rushed out of the room to find you locked in the bathroom. He knocked once, twice, three times before a sharp, “What?” came from the other side of the door.

“Y/n, come out and let me talk to you.”

He heard your muffled scoff. “You’ve said enough.”

“I want to apologize.”

He couldn’t see it, but your eyebrows rose involuntarily. You undid the lock and opened the door. Your arms were folded over your chest as you nodded at him. “Keep going.”

“I’m sorry I said all that crap about Billy. It’s been a rough time for him. For all of us,” he said, sounding genuine.

This was shocking to you. He had never apologized to you for anything he said, even if it happened to be cruel and borderline disrespectful. He had this vulnerable look on his face that made you feel like you could tell him things.

“I’m not just upset about Billy,” you admitted. “This whole thing just reminds me of my life growing up. You don’t know this about me, but my mom was not the best at, well, being a mom. Unlike Billy, family wasn’t enough to pull her out.”

You weren’t sure what he was going to say. Then, he said nothing and pulled you close to his chest. His arms were around your shoulders, and you hesitated to hug him back.

He smelled of pine, and you couldn’t stop yourself from inhaling his scent. You stayed like that for a few minutes, until you heard the front door open and sprang apart.

Warren and Graham announced their arrival, and Eddie cleared his throat before joining them in the kitchen. Now it was you who stood alone in bewilderment.

EDDIE: This girl that hated me was trusting me with something, and I didn’t even know why. That was the first time I saw her for the woman she was, and not for the competition she used to be. As it turns out, I didn’t really hate that woman.

After that debacle, things were kind of weird between you and Eddie. He would still act like a dick, but in a different way.

Instead of, “Wow, could you be any worse at this?” he would say, “Wow, could you look any hotter right now?” He used the same douchebag tone for each, but his comments became flirtatious as time went on.

You usually had a witty retort to fire back at him, but there were some times that his words left you flustered and unable to think properly.

Karen noticed this first, giving you a questioning look from the other side of the studio. You waved her off and rolled your eyes at the thought of Eddie seriously flirting with you.

Warren and Graham caught on next, teasing him about it whenever they got the chance. He denied all allegations of being into you.

You refused to acknowledge Camila’s allegations either. The dynamic you shared with him now was different, but you kind of liked it. You would never admit it though, wanting to keep up the illusion that you still hated his guts.

Eddie walked into the kitchen and grabbed a muffin from the table you sat at. “Morning, smokeshow.” He smirked as he looked back at you from over his shoulder while crossing the room to the fridge.

“Shut up, Eddie,” you said with a mouth full of cereal. Shamefully, you felt heat climb into your cheeks.

He snickered as he sat down across from you. “Really? That’s all you got?”

You swallowed your food and glared at him. “Give me a break. It’s eight in the morning.”

He gave you his signature smile before flipping through the magazine on the table. Karen walked into the kitchen and sent you a knowing look once she saw you and Eddie being civil.

She made her own breakfast, and took Eddie’s seat when he left. “So, anything interesting happen recently?”

“Besides having a hit single, not much. I do really like that Daisy girl, though.”

Karen stared at you blankly. “You know what I’m talking about.”

You placed your fingers to your temples and closed your eyes. “I sense something brewing between Karen Karen and Graham the Man. Nothing else between any other band members, so it would be pointless to ask.”

She laughed. “I sense nothing of the sort. I’m letting Camila deal with you. I just can’t anymore.”

Y/N: Looking back on it, we were pretty insufferable.

With Billy and Daisy writing songs by themselves, you and the others had some time to kill. Karen and Graham were off at the beach while you hung back with Warren and Eddie.

They really loved Rollerball. Either that or they were really high. You were willing to bet on the latter.

By the third showing, you didn’t fail to notice how close Eddie had gotten to you. His arm brushed against yours, and he leaned his head close to yours.

You shifted uncomfortably in your seat, moving away from him and bringing your arm off of the armrest.

He frowned and folded his arms over his chest. Both of you knew something just happened, but refused to acknowledge it. The tension in the air was thick.

Once back at the house, you went to your room immediately. You planned on calling Camila and bothering her with questions about what all these shenanigans with Eddie mean.

What you didn’t expect was Eddie following you into your room and closing the door behind him.

You glanced up from the phone. “What are you doing? Get out, I’m busy.”

The phone rang twice before Camila picked up. “What are we?” Eddie asked. You hung up before she could get a word out.

“What are you talking about?”

He looked more annoyed than he did angry, but the tone of his voice suggested otherwise. “Well, one second you’re rubbing up against me in a movie theater and the other you’re acting all pissed about it.”

You physically cringed. “‘Rubbing up against you?’ That is not what happened.”

“Then what about all those times you tell me I’m hot, huh?”

“You’re the one who initiates that!” you said exasperatedly. “All I do is respond. If you’re trying to insinuate that I flirt with you, then that’s all you.”

He marched up to you until he was mere feet away. “You’re so hot and cold that it drives me insane. Do you want me or not?”

Your eyes narrowed. “Pretty bold of you to assume I would want you.”

He made a wild gesture with his hands and ran one over his face. “You’re exhausting. You make me so mad, and I hate that I like you.”

“Shut up, you don’t like me. We hate each other.”

“Oh, my God, you don’t get it.” He pinched the bridge of his nose with two fingers. “I think about you. All the time. When I see a stupid joke in a magazine, I think of you. When I hear a John Denver song, I think of you. You drive me fucking crazy, Y/n! People who hate each other don’t think about each other like this, don’t act like this. I like you, for God’s sake.”

You couldn’t help but laugh a little. “You listen to John Denver?”

“That’s all you have to say?” He tried sounding angry but he was laughing too.

“I thought you were a rockstar.” You mocked him by holding up two ‘rock on’ hand signs.

“You don’t even care about the sentiment.” He rolled his eyes.

“Be quiet.” You were smiling when you kissed him, cupping his face while his arms snaked around your back.

You tangled both hands in his hair as he deepened the kiss by tilting his head and letting his tongue enter your mouth.

Your fingers messed up his hair before moving down to tug on his shirt collar, pulling him impossibly close.

He tapped your thigh and pulled his lips from yours to whisper, “Jump.”

You complied. He held onto your back with one hand as the other gripped your thigh while your legs wrapped around his waist.

Your hands came back up to rake through his hair, tugging it softly. He continued kissing you feverishly as he made his way to your bed. He almost dropped you when he lowered your body to it.

He climbed onto the bed and hovered over you, kissing down your neck while you gripped his shirt.

“It’s quiet,” Karen said, sitting on the couch, no longer hearing the near screaming match happening in your bedroom.

“Too quiet,” Graham agreed. Warren stood up and pressed his ear to the door, his mouth dropping open.

“Guys, I think they’re boning in there.”

“Warren, please refrain from saying ‘boning.’”

[shahrwrites]

This has been on my mind for a long time and i really need to get it out.

Jason is not as bulky as y’all make him out to be.

He’s just not a malnourished little kid anymore.

Ok, I can see people try to argue that even in canon, he’s like really tall and really bulky and yes I’m look at you Gotham War. ಠ_ಠ

To be honest, I was hysterically laughing for like. Fifteen whole minutes before I calmed down enough to continue reading. For the love of god, Selina looks like a little teenage kid next to him. And she’s got heels on.

And by the way, this is how she looks next to Bruce, which is way more plausible than. Whatever that was.

Never mind, I think they drew all the males ridiculously big in this comic. (Or is Selina just really that smol??? Not that I was under the impression that she was huge or something, but for a woman who used to be one of Batman’s most notorious villains?? Man, idk)

The point is. Yes, Jason shoot up a few inches after the Lazarus pit. And yes, he also gained a few pounds of muscle, too. But not over-night and not because he was dunked in a war-machine-making bathtub. It’s because he wasn’t malnourished anymore. His stunted growth was resolved in the aftermath of the Lazarus and he wasn’t a skinny short baby from then on, because whatever he ate, his body was healthy enough to directly absorb. Batman annual #25 and the rest of the comics will want you to think differently. But. Just. No.

As dislikable as The Lost Days artwork was, at least they didn’t grow him into a giant over night and I think it’s the only good thing they did in that comic, too, because it would give more depth to his character to say that in the years leading up to UtRH, in addition to everything else, he put in the effort to build his body for the big confrontation. To mislead and shock Bruce as much as he could. But even then, he’s not a tank of a man. He simply has an athletically pleasant body. And, you know, he’s, like, not fifteen anymore?? So it makes sense.

However, it’s not to say that I don’t enjoy reading (whether in comics or fanfics) about the disorientation it brings the batfam to conform the picture of this well-built man before them with their mental image of the scrawny little kid their sweet baby Jason was, in their heads.

If people write Jason’s growth compared to his fifteen self and how it gives the family such a hard time, as maybe a little bulky, sure. I can wrap my head around it and actually enjoy it.

Otherwise, I see Jason as a little taller than Dick and about the same height, if not a little shorter, than Bruce. Actually, Dexter Soy’s representation of Jason felt pretty accurate to me. Which is a shame that the story of RHatO as a whole was such a trash. Maybe for the exception of the Rebirth vol. 1. But I’ll get to that another day.

[theoceanoasis]

Hi

I hope you are doing better.

Dratchrod barbarian au ( idk why i keep asking for barbarian aus i just love them right now )

Drift and Ratchet stumble upon a sparked Rodimus who is traveling alone. He has a healing injury and won’t say how he got it. He’s still in the beginning stages of carrying but his tanks look bigger than whats the normal stage

Drift froze and began sniffing the air getting a worried look from Ratchet.

"What's wrong?"

"It's hard to tell but someone is injured. I smell blood."

He grabbed his medkit and followed Drift who led him through the forest following the smell. They came upon a young mech who was cursing as he tried to free himself from the snow.

He had markings from a different tribe but his armor wasn't thick like there's and made for the heavy snow. Which meant he traveled from somewhere else.

Next to him Drift froze and gasped a little causing him to look over and that's when he noticed the bump on his belly and obvious sign of carrying.

He looked at his belly wondering why someone carrying would be traveling alone much less someone so far along.

Scanning the trees he wondered where the sire was. He didn't know if other tribes were different but in their tribe a sire takes care of their mate.

Drift bristled obviously thinking the same thing clearly unhappy that someone would abandon their carrying mate.

He slowly approached not wanting to startle the young mech, who froze with fear. He pulled out a small knife and held it up growling at them to stay back while he tries to protect his belly.

"You're injured. I can smell the blood."

The mech flinched and he held up the medkit. Ignoring the look Drift was giving him as he observed the shaking carrier.

"Let us help you."

The carrier shifted in obvious pain. Giving them a weary look.

"Why?"

"You are carrying?"

"Where is the sire?"

Drift scanned the woods expecting them to suddenly appear when the young mech flinched looking about ready to cry.

"I'm not going to mate with you if that's what you're thinking!"

He snapped looking angry and upset.

"This bitty belongs to my mate and I won't let anyone override the coding."

He put a possessive hand on his belly and he clicked soothingly.

"We won't do that. We just want to help. Please let us help you."

The mech hesitated. Putting a hand on his belly he gave it a worried look.

"Okay, but if you do anything I won't hesitate to defend myself."

"That's fine."

He carefully came over with Drift standing behind him on guard as he worked. He could see a few healing injuries and when he asked questions. The mech immediately shut his mouth refusing to say anything.

It was obvious someone had attacked him. From the marks he knew it had to be city bots and he felt angry that they'd try and attack a carrying bot.

He checked the sparkling over with his limited supplies and the mech watched him the entire time. His frame tense with worry as he gently touched his belly.

He knew if he made one wrong move he'd lose his hand. The mech was clearly stressed and would do anything to defend his sparkling.

"What's your name?"

Drift tried to distract him. Realizing the carrier was terrified that something was wrong with his sparkling.

The mech hesitated for a moment before responding.

"Hot Rod."

Drift smiled happy the carrier had opened up to them which was a good sign.

"The sparkling is okay Hot Rod you've done a good job taking care of them. Although I'm worried about you being on your own this far along."

Hot Rod shook his head looking nervous.

"I'm no that far along I just look big."

He shivered obviously freezing but trying to hide it. He glanced at Drift who seemed equally as worried. If they didn't do something the carrier and their sparkling would die.

"Why don't you come back with us? It's not safe out here and my tribe can help you."

Hot Rod immediately looked panicked as he tried to get away from him. Wincing in pain when he hurt himself in the process.

"No I can't!"

He cried shaking his head frantically.

"I won't let you take my sparkling away from me!"

He put a hand on his belly. Scared they'd try and force him to be their mate. He knew some tribes practiced kidnapping, but they didn't do that.

"We won't. I promise. You'll be safe with us."

Hot Rod shook his head looking frantic and not listening anymore. His body shook as he looked between them.

"No! Leave me alone! I won't let you hurt us!"

He tried to stand and his legs collapsed causing him to cry out in pain. He tried reaching for him and almost had his hand cut off.

He glanced at Drift for help who was trying to soothe the distraught carrier.

"No leave us alone! I won't let you force me to be your mate! You're not my sparklings sire and you never will be! He has a sire who loves him very much and I would rather die then take someone else as my mate!"

Hot Rod continued panicking as he tried to run away again. Both of them were trying to make him stop worried he'd hurt himself more, but he wasn't listening.

Hot Rod's body seemed unable to take the stress and when the mech took another step he collapsed.

He immediately looked him over and gave Drift him frantic look.

"We need to take him to the med tent immediately."

"What's happening?"

"His body is under a lot of stress and is beginning to shut down. We need to get him warm and I need to look over his injuries I think some of them are infected."

Drift helped him carry Hot Rod, even though he was surpringly light which wasn't a good sign.

They took him to the med tent ignoring the people who gathered around having questions. Wanting to know more about the mysterious carrier. He ignored them as he got to work wrapping him in blankets and bandgang his wounds. Until he was no longer at risk of losing his sparkling.

Even though Hot Rod was asleep he began to shift and cry out for someone named Soundwave who he assumed was the sire. He gave him a sad look because he couldn't imagine loosing his mate especially if he was carrying.

The very idea was devastating and he promised to look after him and make sure he was safe. When he looked behind him he knew Drift was thinking the same thing.

As they looked over the carrier someone else was desperately trying to reach him.

[roses-bel-air-darling]

In one way, at least Touya’s end is kind of ambiguous so we can make our own ideas! I mean yes, there are the implications of him dying and such. I won’t deny it still sucks considering Endeavour and all. But, in one way at least he will be able to talk with his family, reconcile with them. I like to think (might be wishful thinking on my part) that eventually he gets better and maybe lives with his family again, or something, to give him a chance at normal with his family. He might be under house arrest or something, unless he still stuck in a tank after all those years, or did die. But if he did, I like to think he and his family made peace before he did.

Idk, it’s just unfortunate how the Todoroki plot wrapped up, but at least his family didn’t push him away. Honestly I’m probably in denial with it all because maybe he is dead considering he wasn’t shown in the flashbacks, but who knows?

Toga and Shigiraki’s deaths were unfortunate, HK really fumbled on the end. Honestly I dipped when the last chapter released, and when I came back, I realized that a lot of people/blogs didn’t have many thoughts on the end. Almost unanimously it seemed everyone was in radio silence 😅

I am so sorry that this is long!

That's the tiny bit of hope I have for touya. Although, I'm trying not to be a negative nancy. There is the last volume and the official fanbook both coming out this December. We could possibly get a final update on touya. Good or bad.

Hori confirmed that he forgot to draw a few things in the final chapter and is going to put it in the final volume.

I'm not going to be cautiously optimistic. I'm just going to expect something.

Personally, before the manga ended, I was on the villain trio big save train. I was so sure they were going to get a 'happy' ending and heading towards their bright futures as it was intended to throughout the story. (Note: I won't elaborate on the whole villains bad, must die arguments. It's tiring and gets old super fast the moment those sentences are used to justify the deaths of toga, shigaraki, and touya. Different topic, different day.)

Now, looking back, I just want him to have a peaceful death with his mom and siblings there by his side and knowing he's not alone and loved. I don't want him to be alive and be a part of the society that still rejects someone like him, toga, and shigaraki. You must be a good victim to be accepted back into said society, and bad victims don't deserve a second chance, sympathy, or to be heard. Doesn't matter how much pain and abuse you have been afflicted. No redemption. Death is the only option.

Onto the last parts, with the todoroki family plot. I hated that dabi, shouto, and the rest of the family became plot devices for endeavor's "redemption."

Shouto and dabi's moments are being overshadowed by endeavors, constant apologizing, and yapping. Over and over.

Hori didn't know what to do with endeavor and it showed.

Poor shouto's arc being ruined.

The unnecessary parts of the final todoroki chapter of endeavor's talking as if touya is still a villain by accepting his invitation to Dabi's dance and natsuo's comment about that was the only time he thought his dad was a badass. It felt so off and OOC of natsuo to say that.

I lost interest during the entirety of the ACT 3 of the manga. I only cared about the villains at the time. I think hori in the end. He just wanted to end the manga. There were a bunch of breaks during Act 3 due to his health and stress, and it affected the story. Hori deserves a long, long vacation as being mangaka is draining. I also hope he recovers as well.

I'm sorry for yapping, but I felt the same that I wish we didn't get these endings for the todoroki family and the villain trio. I would say more on toga and shigaraki's outcome, but I would make this reply WAY too long. Almost a 20-page essay. 😂

Lastly, with the blogs I follow on tumblr and Twitter on the reactions I saw to the last few chapters. It was mainly negative. And yet other bigger blogs in the fandom it was crickets. I agree I think the silence was loud and clear too. I'm like... 😬

I don't go on the BNHA reddit as the posts call the ending bad cause people's ships didn't become canon. Which with shipping vs. story arcs, themes, and narratives. I only care about the story in general when I read. Shipping? Nah.

For real, tho, I just wish the manga ended on how it was originally going to.

My headcanon is that the league is in an island somewhere, just soaking in the sun and having fun. Spinner and shigaraki brought a whole TV and gaming consoles to the beach, toga swimming and teaching twice how to swim, dabi cooking some BBQ while texting shouto asking how's he's doing. Compress is getting a tan and scolding shigaraki and spinner for bringing electronics to the beach. Big sis magne is not with them as she modeling in a big fashion show.

Just a happy little misfits being a family. 💗

Sorry anon! For the long reply! I wanted to share my opinions on the ending as well. Take care!

[lnfours]

sideline (two) | t.h

summary -> tom holland: the name thats always floating around campus, and for good reason. he’s the captain of the hockey team, he’s good looking, and he’s always caught up in an off and on again relationship with the president of the sorority. that’s where you come in. you two had made a deal to make your exes jealous, but we all know how fake relationships end.

wc -> a short but also sweet 2k

warnings -> mentions of family loss, language, fluff, all the feels, toms the best fake bf idk...

🎵 spotify playlist | 📖 prev/next chapter | 📂 masterlist

                                ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

it had been a week since you and tom had started ‘dating’. it was working out well and people started believing in it whenever they’d see the way you’d both put on a show in front of others. and when sarah and mia had questioned what was going on, they both happily squealed at your response. 

now you sat on your bed, scrolling through different social medias to pass the time until you felt tired enough to go to bed. you stopped your scrolling process when a messages notification popped up at the top of your screen. 

tom hey, you busy? 

you clicked on it, the screen brightening as your fingers tapped against the keyboard. 

y/n not really, just trying to make myself tired why? something wrong? 

you watched as the ‘read’ popped up under your blue message. the bubble with three little dots popped up on his end. 

tom can’t sleep lol and i’m kinda craving some ice cream  wanna join? 

you smiled, typing out a response.

y/n  sure! 

tom cool :)  i’ll pick u up in 10? 

y/n sounds good :)

you got up out of bed and threw on a hoodie overtop of your tank top, grabbing some socks and shoes before heading downstairs quietly. the two other girls were already asleep, getting their rest in before their 8ams in the morning. 

you grabbed your wallet and house key out of your purse, watching as a car pulled into the driveway. you quietly opened the front door, stepping outside and locking it behind you before making your way to the passenger side of his car. 

“hey,” you smiled, getting in. he smiled back at you. 

“hey,” he looked over at your hoodie, “you like the bruins?” 

you looked down at your hoodie, “oh, it was my dad’s. hockey was his favorite sport.”

he nodded, pulling out the driveway. he handed you his phone that was unlocked, “you can choose the music if you want to.”

you clicked on the spotify icon on his phone, going through his liked songs playlist. you let out a soft laugh, clicking on the one direction song towards the top of the playlist, “you like one direction?”

he smiled back over at you from the driver’s side, “hell yeah! some of their songs are catchy.”

you shook your head, still smiling as you looked out the window. you couldn't explain it, but something about being with tom made you feel comfortable. everything about him made you feel like you could tell him anything and everything, talk for hours about whatever crossed your minds. 

he looked over at you, “you alright?”

you turned back to the brunette, a content smile on your face, “yeah, sorry. just thinking.”

“about?”

you shrugged, “just about life, i guess?”

he pulled into a space in the parking lot, “talk over some ice cream?”

you nodded, the two of you getting out of the car. you both walked up to the order window, placing your order. when you went to pay, he pushed your arm aside.

“no, i’ve got it.”

“nope, this was my idea. let me.”

you huffed, sending him a look as the cashier smiled at the both of you, “i remember when my husband and i were your age. it was always an argument whenever it’d be time to pay.”

you both let out a soft laugh, smiling at the woman. he fished a few dollar bills out of his wallet, sticking them in the ‘tips’ cup propped up in the window. she smiled at him again.

“here you go, hun,” she said, handing him his card back before looking over at you, “he’s a keeper, sweetie.”

you smiled, “can’t argue with that.”

he playfully rolled his eyes at you, the two of you thanking the older woman before stepping to the pickup window. once the two of you had your ice cream in your hand, he led you back to the car. this time, he opened the door for you.

“putting on a show for that woman, huh?”

he laughed, shaking his head, “shut up and get in the car.”

you laughed back at him, sitting down on the leather seat before he closed the car door. he made his way around to the other side, closing the door.

“so,” he said after a little while, your ice cream almost finished as the condensation on the cup soaked through the napkins in your hand, “tell me everything i need to know about you.”

you hummed, taking the plastic spoon out of your mouth, “like what?”

“your favorite color, favorite song, about your hometown, parents,” he shrugged, “what cringey phase you went through in middle school,” you chuckled as he smiled, “seriously, anything.”

you sighed, “well, i don’t have a favorite color or a favorite song, there’s just too many options for both of those things,” he nodded, “uhm, born and raised in boston, i don’t really plan on leaving, either.. and i definitely went through an emo phase in middle school.”

he smirked, “i can picture that,” he said, “what about your parents?”

you bit down on your lower lip, putting your ice cream cup in your lap, “well, it’s just me and my grandmother. my mom wasn’t in the picture, and my dad passed when i was 15. ever since then, it’s just been me and her.”

his expression softened, “im so sorry.”

you waved him off, sending him a tight lipped smile, “it’s okay.”

he shook his head, “i can’t imagine,” he put his ice cream trash in the cupholder of the car, “i mean, i was wondering about your word choice earlier when i asked about the sweatshirt, but i just didn’t expect-”

“tom,” you placed your hand on his arm to keep him from rambling apologies, “it’s okay. really.”

his eyes met yours and you smiled softly, “sorry.”

you playfully rolled your eyes, “stop apologizing!”

he put his hands up in fake surrender, “okay, okay!”

you both chuckled as a comfortable silence washed over the two of you. you decided to be the one to break it, “what about you?”

he hummed before answering, “well, my favorite color is blue, favorite song changes but currently it’s ‘take me where your heart is’ by q, because unlike someone i know, i can pick.”

you playfully swatted at his arm, “fuck off.”

he smiled, leaning back in his seat, “uhm, what else… oh, born and raised in london, i’ve got three younger brothers, two of them are twins. i’m hoping to go pro with hockey, and uhm… i was a theater kid in middle school.”

“okay, being a theater kid is kinda dope,” you argued, “props to them, they have more talent than i have.”

he nodded, “yeah, it was a fun time.”

“what about your parents?” you asked and you watched him shift in his seat, unsure on wether or not he should talk about it. you gave him a reassuring smile, egging him on to talk about them.

“they’re y’know, parents,” he said, “my mom’s more supportive about other stuff, and my dad pushes me to play hockey like he did in college, wants me to be better than he was.”

“your dad played hockey?”

“yeah, back in the 90s,” he shrugged, “never made it pro, though. so i guess he’s trying to live through me to get the life he wanted.”

“is that how you ended up in boston?”

he nodded, “yeah, best school with the best hockey team. didn’t have much of a choice.” he looked back over at you, “what about you, though? what’re your plans for after graduation?”

you shrugged, “haven’t really gotten there yet. i’m hoping to land a internship with a book publishing company here in the city by the end of spring semester, and then i guess we’ll see where that leads me.”

the music was still playing softly as the two of you sat in a comfortable silence. you looked over at him as he scrolled through his spotify playlist, his face softly illuminated by the dim lighting on his phone. he looked so pretty, so soft…

no, stop it. this is supposed to be a fake relationship. no strings attached, remember?

you pulled your gaze away and checked the time on your phone, 10:45pm. even though it was late at night, you weren’t tired at all. 

“oh, i forgot to tell you,” his voice broke through the silence, “there’s a game this friday, you should come.”

you let out a soft groan, “do i have to?”

he chuckled, “part of the deal, remember?”

those damn rules.

“okay, fine. but im bringing mia and sarah.”

he shrugged, “fine with me.”

after a few more minutes of talking about classes tomorrow, you both had come to the conclusion that it was getting late and the two of you should head back. the drive was short back to your house, tom pulling into the driveway and putting the car in park.

“thanks for the ice cream,” you smiled, “i owe you.”

“you don’t owe me anything,” he smiled, “was on me, remember?”

you rolled your eyes, “fine, next time it’s on me, okay?”

he shook his head with a laugh, “whatever helps you sleep at night, love.”

you ignored the butterflies in your stomach that erupted at the nickname, smiling back at him as you got out of the car, “goodnight, thomas.”

“goodnight, y/n.”

                               ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

the next morning was chaotic. the quad was filled with students trying to find their way to their classes, booths set up in the middle encouraging them to join certain clubs. you walked with your headphones in, looking down at your phone as you opened spotify. 

you typed in the song tom had mentioned the night before, listening to it. you were curious about what his music taste was like, no other reason. none at all. 

you jumped as someone tapped you on the shoulder, tugging an earbud out as you spun your head into the direction of the person behind you. you relaxed when you noticed the messy flop of brunette curls. 

“jesus, you really have to stop stalking me.”

“well, good morning to you, too, sunshine,” the british accent filled your ears, “and to be fair, this is literally the main hub of everyone who goes to this school.”

he turned around in a circle with his arms out, gesturing to the amount of people walking through. you playfully rolled your eyes, “what do you want, holland?”

“what? i can’t walk my ‘girlfriend’ to her first class of the day?” he asked, using air quotes when he said ‘girlfriend’. he held his hand out for you to give him your bag, which you obliged, knowing he wouldn’t give up without a fight. 

“where you heading?”

“english with wilson,” you said the next sentence with a sarcastic tone, “the best way to start my morning.”

“he’s such a snoozefest,” he rolled his eyes, “always talking about shit that doesn’t matter.”

you chuckled, nodding in agreement, “where are you heading?”

“oh, i’m free until my class at 2,” he said, opening the door to the building for you, “might just go sit in the lounge for a little bit.”

you nodded, walking towards the staircase, “sounds like an interesting morning.”

“oh, for sure.”

he walked you to the door, handing you back your bag, “i’ll be back here at noon.”

“you don’t have to walk me to and from, it’s okay.”

he shrugged, “i want to.”

your eyes drifted when you realized the group of boys were heading to the same room as you. your eyes locked on jack’s blue ones, a pit settling into your stomach. tom caught on that you weren’t paying attention, his eyes shifting to the blonde who walked past you.

jack’s eyes shifted from you and to tom. tom sent him a nod, smiling as jack ignored him, entering the lecture.

you sighed, “maybe i should go see advisement about switching.”

“no, this is good,” tom said, “i can come here every morning and make him jealous.”

“i guess you’re right.”

“always am,” he smiled, walking backwards as he sent you a smile, “see you at noon, darling.”

you walked into the lecture and found a seat, sitting down and thinking to yourself and shaking your head as you smiled softly. 

tom holland was going to 100% be the death of you.

                                  ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

💌  beings my tagged list has gotten so long that tumblr literally won't let me add it, the tagged list is temporarily closed until i can figure it out. in the meantime, be sure to follow and turn on notifications for @toms-gf to be notified whenever i post imagines :)

xoxo, jordan

[callsign-joyride]

Summer of smut prompt “We have to be quiet. If you make a sound, I’ll have to stop.” With Jake!

Just What I Needed | Jake "Hangman" Seresin

Summary: You and Jake sneak off for a quickie.

Content warnings: SMUT (18+), friends with benefits, unprotected p in v, semi-public sex (they do it in a closet so idk), orgasm denial if you squint, this one is really short (sorry!)

Prompt: "We have to be quiet. If you make a sound, I'll have to stop."

This was written for my Summer of Smut writing event. Feel free to send in requests!

Everyone had taken turns flying in pairs for the day. Mav, being too hungover to give instruction, walked in and told everyone to “figure it out”. You flew with Rooster, just before Hangman and Coyote.

“I’ll catch up with you later. My jet was making some noises that I didn’t like while we were in the air, so I’m gonna check it out.”

“Okay. Well, I hope everything ends up being fine. Let me know if you need help.”

“I will. Thanks.”

Bradley nodded and walked back towards the building. You heard the familiar rumble of jets taking off as you stood under your jet with tools. The sleeves of your flight suit had been tied around your waist, leaving you in a breathable white tank top as you started taking things apart. Even though it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been, you quickly realized that you were due for an oil change and you had a few loose bolts. That explained the rattling.

You were capping the oil tank when Hangman and Coyote landed. You smiled as you heard them whoop and holler about whatever maneuvers they had done. Hangman laughed at something that Coyote had said before saying that he was going to check on you. 

“What’s going on over here?” He asked. 

“Oil change.”

“Cool. Do you think you could meet me by the locker rooms in like ten minutes?”

“Uh, probably. Yeah, I just gotta put some things back first.”

Hangman nodded his head and walked away while you cleaned up your area. The hallway to the locker rooms was mostly empty because it was late in the day. Most people had either gone home for the night or gone out to get something to eat. You were taken by surprise when strong arms wrapped around you and you were dragged back into a storage closet.

“Relax, it’s me. I needed to talk to you about something,” he said as he started to kiss your neck.

“Well, we never really do much talking, do we?” 

Hangman chuckled into your neck and started to push your flight suit down your waist. You melted into his arms when he started to harshly rub your clit and grind into you. You could feel his cock press up against you, and the sensation made you sigh. He stopped for a minute to pull your flight suit down to your ankles and rubbed between your folds. He groaned in your ear at the feeling of how wet you were and used his other hand to remove his flight suit.

Your hands were pressed up against the wall in front of you and Hangman pumped his cock before rubbing it in between your folds. He eased himself into you and you had to bite your lip to stifle a moan. His thrusts quickly picked up and you let out a yelp, but he didn’t stop. Instead, he gently placed a hand over your mouth and nibbled at your ear.

“We have to be quiet. If you make a sound, I’ll have to stop,” he said as he slowed down slightly. You nodded your head and he moved his hands to grab at your hips. He started to pound into you faster and harder and quickly pulled out with a sigh. You turned around as you felt his hot release on your back.

“I didn’t-,”

“I know. We both need to shower. D’you wanna hang later? Watch a movie or something?”

You sighed and put your clothes back on.

“Sure. My place? You won’t be able to spend the night, though. You know that, right?”

“No shit, Sherlock.”

Taglist:

@littlebadariell @cycbaby @luckyladycreator2 @idontcare-11 @blue-aconite @maverick-wingman @shawty-fenty @littlemisstopgun @rosiahills22 @katieshook02 @justanothermagicalsara @caitsymichelle13 @smoothdogsgirl @adoringsebstan @cherrycola27 @alexxavicry @mrsjaderogers @mak-32 @thefandomimagines @tallrock35 @caatheeriinee07 @bradshawseresinbabe @atarmychick007 @3sriracha @genius2050

[cod-dump]

So this is a very angsty and grave centred like prompt thing I guess idk?✨

1)Graves gets waterboarded by Shepard and is traumatized, while refusing help from anyone.

2) So graves survives the tank explosion BUT Shepard finds him and because he’s a asshole he put graves in solitary confinement where he kinda looses his mind and 141 and Los Varqeous find him and he doesn’t even remember anything anymore just the room he was kept in and Shepard. THE ANGST POTENTIAL , THE FRAGILITY OF GRAVES 😭😭

anyhooo here ya go

THIS MAKES ME FERAL!!! AHHHHHH

___

Second Chance

___

They wouldn’t have found him if they didn’t get the anonymous heads up. Not far from Las Almas was a facility still under the control of Shadow Company, so Los Varqeous went out to take them out. And what they found in that facility made Alejandro call 141.

He didn’t outright tell Price what they found in the facility. So when Price showed up with Gaz he was thrown off by seeing Phillip Graves. He was sporting a beard, his hair much longer, had suffered severe weight loss. Price almost didn’t recognize him, but the scar helped identify him.

“What happened to him?”

Alejandro shrugs, “We don’t know. He hasn’t said a word since we found him.”

Price could see the emptiness in Graves’ eyes. They were full, lifeless. This wasn’t the same man that led Shadow Company almost a year ago. He seemed so small, broken. Price walked up to the man who sat at the table, handcuffed to it though Price had a feeling that it wasn’t necessary.

“Graves.”

No response. He didn’t even acknowledge that Price said something.

“Phillip,” Price tried again, but like before Graves didn’t respond or acknowledge Price.

The man was just staring ahead of him, not looking at anything in particular. Price reached over and touched his hand. It was the slightest touch, Price barely even brushes the man’s hand. Yet Graves jerked and pulled his hand away, acting as if he was stabbed. Finally there was something in the man’s eyes: Fear.

Price quickly brings his hand back to him as Graves finally looks at him and actually sees him. Price looks behind him at Alejandro who was indifferent about Graves’ reaction. He didn’t show any emotion as he spoke.

“He fought my men when they tried to move him here. Whatever happened to him has mentally taken its toll.”

Price has seen this before in prisoners. He looks back to Graves who was still pulling at the cuffs, studying Price with wide eyes. Price didn’t have any fondness for the man or what he had done, but he didn’t deserve whatever made him like this. He was broken, pieces falling all around him. Price felt pity for him. He almost reminded him of Ghost… a less murderous version.

“We were going to send him back to the States.”

Price nods, “Send him home.”

That was the plan. Send Graves back home and let them deal with him. But then one of Alejandro’s men discovered something in the archives of the facility. Price was preparing to go back to the UK when Alejandro pulled him back to talk to him.

“Something wrong, Colonel?”

Alejandro sighs, “It regards Graves. The facility that was holding him? It’s Shadow Company’s.”

Price’s face twists in confusion, “What?”

“Shepherd is the one that stuck him in there… and we have a record of what they were doing to him before they stuck him in that cell.”

Price swallows. He has seen people turn on their own when they “failed”. Seen them rip each other apart. But he didn’t think Shepherd would do that despite what happened. It was Price giving him the benefit of a doubt that he wasn’t that twisted.

“I hate what he had done. I do. But after seeing what they put him through on paper…” Alejandro takes a breath, “Death would have been merciful.”

Price looks at the file in Alejandro’s possession. He stares at it before holding his hand out, Alejandro wordlessly giving it to him. He opens it, eyes grazing between the records. His captors recorded what they did to him almost in a mundane manner. Like they weren’t physically torturing a man before fucking with him psychologically until the point he broke. Now he was a husk.

“Sending him to the States would be a guaranteed death sentence. Shepherd would know as soon as he crossed the border.”

Alejandro agrees, “Most likely. They would probably take him and lock him up again. I doubt he would just kill him after going through all this effort to break him.”

Graves will be dead if he stayed here. Price doubted Alejandro would show him kindness, and it was obvious that he would continue to suffer if he was sent back home. Price closes the file, looking Alejandro in the eyes as he spoke.

“I’ll take him with me.”

“What? Back to the UK? To 141?”

Price nods and Alejandro let’s out a short laugh that meant “are you serious?” before his face steeled.

“Is that smart? Your men tried to kill him.”

“Yes, they did. But comparing that to what Shepherd put him through?”

Alejandro sighs, “Why take him?”

“You called me here for a reason, Vargas.”

“Yes because my people found something that would benefit you in taking out Shepherd. Graves is a lost cause. He’s gone—“

Alejandro points at his head as he said the last bit of his sentence.

Price huffs, “Then why show me him? You could’ve just faxed us the information. You could’ve just killed him and been done with it.”

Alejandro doesn’t answer and honestly he didn’t need to. Price knew why he didn’t kill him. Alejandro was a good man who valued life, and seeing Graves in that state killed him. But he couldn’t bring himself to aid him, so he called Price.

Price pats Alejandro’s shoulder, “I’ll take him out of your hair. Phillip Graves will no longer taint Mexico’s soil.”

Graves had to be sedated so they could get him on the plane safely. Gaz didn’t say anything but Price knew he was questioning this decision. Before Price boarded the plane, Alejandro said farewell to him. Not as a colleague but as a friend.

“Good luck, amigo. You’re going to need it.”

With that, Price boarded the plane.

[overelegantstranger]

madpunk inflected mental health and hearing voices talk under the cut

i've been thinking about the hearing voices thing. For a little clarity I'm going to define my terms. by "hearing voices" I'm meaning three things:

the near constant thoughts of "you should die, you should kill yourself, everyone would be better off if you weren't around" that happen on my period, and which always feel like they're coming from, if not literally outside my head, outside "my space" in my head. At at least one point, they felt/sounded like they were coming from a female, mother-y person, whose voice was very specific and distinct

the similar, but not identical, thoughts that can happen when i'm, or possibly Tank is, struggling with feeling angry or resentful or upset. The last time he experienced it, he described it as an internal radio he couldn't get away from, to the point of trying to physically block his ears and drown it out. These often start as like, for example, "I can't believe they would do that" and might be Tank's or my thoughts, and escalate until they become a "radio", causing feelings of anger and resentment that are disproportionate to the thoughts that either of us would have laid claim to

The having of at least two other people in my head who seem able to project thoughts to me. This one is, in a way, the hardest to identify, because I thought it was normal for a long time, and I don't precisely know how much internal dialogue is "normal" and how much is potentially included in "hearing voices". So say I might be saying in my head "I'm just feeling x, y, z" and then I might "hear" "yeah, because a, b, c", such as you might have when telling a friend what you're feeling. and sometimes these dialogues would confuse me, like, why am i having these "yeah, and" thoughts? it's just rephrasing what i JUST said, or put words on what was vaguely in my mind. But overall I thought they were just normal and maybe they are.

I've been thinking about all these, but particularly the first two. Initially I was looking into menstrual psychosis, because psychosis is a "scary", stigmatised term and I wasn't sure if I had discounted it because of stigma (context: I maybe have PMDD but the timing is always on my period, never before. But menstrual psychosis, while timed correctly, doesn't seem to match my symptoms).

And I just kept thinking. There was something about being at therapy on Monday, and being openly plural and talking a little about my childhood, and having my pluralness accepted as fact, that made me kind of see it from outside and think that this isn't really super "normal", like, idk.

I guess, because my mum has depression, that me developing an intense anxiety issue and even OCD, is "normal". I realise for most people this is an Issue, but for me, while it's scary and awful and disabling, That's Just What Brains Do. I have at least four generations of mental health problems on that side, you know? I have just sort of absorbed the idea of being mentally ill without it shifting my mental perception of myself, because to me, it was as natural as being blue-eyed.

But now, I'm beginning to both clearly see that firstly, my anxiety and ocd was not a forgone conclusion and not an unfortunate genetic side effect but instead a response to how I was raised and how fucked up my childhood was, and see that what I'm experiencing now is something that someone outside of me might call insane (no stigma necessarily intended; we're a madpunk household).

Like, I was, while living with my parents, actively experiencing symptoms that are socially a shorthand for "insane". I still am now but the point is that that was so invisible I didn't even recognise it for the potentially worrying symptom it was. And maybe in a clinical sense what I'm talking about Isn't really hearing voices. I don't really know. But the point is I'm finally seeing myself as actively, actually, mentally ill, due to largely avoidable incidents and patterns of behaviour from my caregivers, and that those patterns of behaviour have, and i'm using this language for emphasis, actually driven me insane.

[azurdlywisterious]

The Brainless Ones (part 2)

AN: I'm back with more of Sir’s adventures! I wanted more Sir so now y'all get more Sir.

Word count: 1.3k

CW: body horror played for comedy (idk how else to describe sir’s empty head), very unethical scientific practices, body horror not played for comedy (if the centaurs count as body horror but I think they do)

“Where are we heading, Beagle?”

He runs his fingers through his silver hair. “End goal, New Vegas. But right now, we’re going towards a little town called Novac.”

“I’ve walked this way before,” I observe. “Where is Novac on this map?”

I show him the screen built into my arm, which currently has a map of the area pulled up.

“I’m never gonna get used to this,” he mutters under his breath as he examines the map. "Uh, I think it's around here?"

He taps a spot on the map and a waypoint appears on the map. There's a small ping! noise, which causes Beagle to jump.

"You're very nervous," I observe.

"I still haven't fully grasped that this is my new reality," he retorts. "I've heard of lots of terrifying things out here in these sandy wastes."

"My interest has been piqued. What kind of things?"

"Radscorpions, geckos, the Powder Gangers out by the NCRCF..."

His voice trails off at that last one. His eyes lose focus, like he's seeing something playing out miles in front of us. I put my head as close to his as possible and zoom my eyes in as much as they can.

"What are you looking at?"

He jolts and does a small hop away from me. I can feel warm air on my skin. Is that his breathing? Dr. Dala told me about breathing, what it looked like, what it felt like. I don’t fully understand her obsession with it, but I am starting to gain my own appreciation for the habit.

“I was just… remembering something,” he says to me after he’s regained his bearings. “Nothing that a pretty lady like you should worry her pretty little head about.”

“Right,” I respond, disinterested in whatever it is he’s hiding. I continue to walk since he spotted nothing.

“Wait!” He half jogs to catch up to me. “Don’t you want to know what I was thinking of?”

“You can tell me if you want,” I reply, “but right now our main goal is Novac; and all this sand being blown by the wind is getting in my eyes.”

He doesn’t respond, instead lighting up another cigarette as we walk.

"We aren't walking on a road," I state. "Is there any reason for this?"

"Well, according to the maps, this is the fastest way to Novac," he tells me. "There is a longer route following the main road that crosses through a town called Nipton, but that place gives me the creeps.”

“Elaborate.”

“It's been radio silent for weeks. If anything happened down there, i doubt that it would be anything good.”

“You imply that Nipton is south?”

“Weird way of phrasin’ it,” Beagle remarks, “but yeah, I suppose so.”

I stop to show him a point on the map in my arm. “Is this Nipton?”

“Probably.”

“Then I’ve been there,” I inform him. “Boring place. Just a bunch of dead lobotomites everywhere.”

All he says in response to that is, “Oh,” before holding his cigarette in place with his teeth and shoving his hands deep into his pockets.

I continue to walk and he follows suit.

After a long while of silence, Beagle plucks the remains of his cigarette from his teeth, flicks it away, and asks me, “So what is a pretty lady like you doing wandering the desert all by her lonesome?”

“The great minds of the Think Tank made me to explore the new world beyond Big MT in their stead so that they may study it from the safety of their labs.”

“Wait…” He starts counting on his fingers before giving up entirely. “How old are you?”

“Depends,” I reply.

“Depends?”

“The body is roughly 26 years old, the computer parts that keep the body functioning are a few days old, and the data programmed onto my hard drives encompasses all of scientific knowledge that humanity has ever recorded and the Think Tank had ever saved to their computers. Though all of the components have been together for 32 days.”

“So you're 32 days old?”

“It appears so. Like Athena from the myths of the Old World, I emerged from the Think Tank fully formed.”

“Who’s Athena?”

I start to reply, but a flicker of movement from the neighboring hill catches my attention. I place a finger to my lips and crouch down. I zoom my sight in and study the creatures that caught my attention. The top half is a lobotomite torso and head, but the bottom half is a mass of tissue and extra arms acting as legs. Three tendrils hang out of its mouth like long tongues and it has no true arms.

Beagle notices what I’m looking at and grabs his gun. He’s aiming it wildly due to his shaking hands, a phenomena caused by the sudden influx of adrenaline in his body.

I gently lower the gun for him and start to quietly move closer, calibrating my long distance lasers as I move. The LRADs are already primed.

Using the pointed tip of my thumbnail as a scope, I aim a laser right between the thing’s eyes.

“Fascinating,” I remark as I see it spit sludge in our direction, taking plenty of photos as it does so. “One shot isn't enough to kill it.”

“What?” Beagle squeaks and pulls out a voice recorder. I gently lower that too before he starts talking into it.

The creature’s aim is not good enough to hit us with the sludge. That doesn't stop it from setting off my internal Geiger counter. My skin feels crackly. I need to end this quick.

The thing is charging at me and Beagle is starting to try and take voice memos again. I roll my eyes and let him. I just turn my ears off and fire enough shots to fell the beast.

I blow on my index finger to cool it off before extending the opposite hand to Beagle. I feel his hand vibrating on contact, so I grip it tightly to get it to stop shaking.

I lead him over to the corpse, the whole time him describing the encounter into his voice recorder in strikingly accurate detail. Despite his trembling hands, his voice is rather level, and nice to listen to. It’s soft and smooth, like the half melted butter on top of the waffles in those commercial breaks that Dr. 0 accidentally recorded along with his movies.

I turn my ears back off to remember to take more photos of the thing before teleporting it off to the Think Tank. I wince a bit as my still hot index finger lightly burns my temple.

I turn my ears back on, ready to listen to him talk; but all I hear is unvoiced gasping. I’m on alert.

“What is it?” I whisper urgently.

“The thing,” he points to where the creature once was. “It’s gone!”

“I teleported the cadaver back to Big MT,” I tell him, hovering my fingers by my temple. “Remember, if something bad happens to me while we’re out here, press on my temples and we’ll be teleported back to safety.”

He nods solemnly, processing the information as clear as day behind his eyes. As my science deputy, he deserves to know how to activate the teleported in case of an emergency.

He takes my arm, studies it, and places a new waypoint, saying, “I don’t wanna run into another one of those things. If we go up from here and then start cutting across, we should be fine.”

“Why not just go south to Nipton?”

He stares off into the distance and lights up another smoke. “There’s something that needs to be done up there anyways. And you’re just the person to help me.”

“Then why not just go directly to New Vegas?”

“Deathclaws,” Beagle replies coolly, taking another well timed drag of his cigarette.

“What are deathclaws?” I ask him.

“Nothing good,” he responds, gently lowering my arm for me; as if wanting to reach for my hand but not having enough courage to do so. “I’ll tell ya later.”

"When?"

"After you help me clean out the NCRCF."