#idk maybe ill delete this later
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I'm gonna get salty
So I finally got to playing the game (more like watching my sister play cuz my computer is too ass to run it without 5 billion lag) and like
It's so fucking neat??? And yet I've just seen post after post of everyone being angry and dissappointed about it??
Idk it's getting to a point where it's genuinly disheartening how negative people in this fandom have been in the last few years, even if they have a point. I've been wanting to say something all this time, but didn't cuz I thought maybe it would pass.
I've pretty much never been disappointed with Bendy content, ever. Like, I think it's just getting better, BatDR was so worth the wait, and Secrets has me even more excited for what's coming next.
I don't think they're without flaw, obviously, that'd just be naive of me. I don't care for Mike, and I think they'd benefit greatly from sitting down and working out what their story actually is, but idk I still think everything they've made is FUN. I love Bendy, and even if I'm not exactly in the fandom anymore, I'll always love it.
Idk if there's any point to what I'm saying, maybe I'm just stupidly easy to please, but Bendy just means a lot to me, and the things people have been saying about it, even if correct, just hurt.
I want to be able to enjoy Bendy without feeling like I shouldn't.
#abrambles#bendy spoilers#bendy secrets of the machine#bsotm#this isnt targetted toward anyone in particular ive just been seeing a good handful of people saying this#idk maybe ill delete this later
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purple with wings!
(+ green preening purp's wings below the cut, not finished tho)
bro green u cant just grab someone else's wing like that !!
(update: i did finish this little preening comic u can find the finished version on my blog:3 )
#pawu.art#animator vs animation#animation vs minecraft#avm fanart#avm purple#purple avm#avm green#green avm#anddd hmm#avm shipping#grapeduo#avm grapeduo#i mean u can see it as platonic but just in case yknow#maybe ill delete this later idk
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notes game because I can
!!Deadline is December 1st!!
rules:
no spamming!
5 notes per person total
any extra notes will result in a 1 day deduction to the deadline
please do not write meaningless letting or numbers in the comments
10 notes: I'll do my laundry more often
30 notes: I'll take care of my hair and face better
50 notes: I'll take showers more often
75 notes: I'll eat more often
100 notes: I'll stop purposely ignoring my iron pills in the morning
130 notes: I'll get out more often
150 notes: I'll stop my occasional very minor sh
175 notes: I'll stop neglecting myself and others around me
200 notes: I'll set an alarm to remember to eat lunch and other snacks throughout the day
250 notes: I'll stop procrastinating my work
300 notes: I'll find a way (hopefully) to get rid of my chronic year long insomnia
350 notes: I'll stop being so reserved and secretive around my family and friends
400 notes: I'll stop jumping from high things like bringing and trees
500 notes: I'll fix my bad habits
600 notes: I'll start socializing with people
700 notes: I'll seek help about my depression
800 notes: I'll start trying to get along better with the people in my life
900 notes: I'll (try) to cut ties with some toxic people in my life (not talking about any tumblr mutuals or you ace, don't you even dare think that D:<)
1000 notes: I will stop trying to kms at any given chance
#bored#avoiding sleep#notes game#idk why im doing this#might delete later#dont quote me on any if this#who knows.. maybe this will actually make a difference#Ill try my best to follow through
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//suggestive images
Made these cuz uhm. Uhm. Im not sure actually. For funsies or something. Eroticisim of the machine or something idk im new here
God i am SO CRINGE but i am... Free?
#Ughhh do i tag this as nsfw. Everyone is clothed yet i feel like im treading such a FINE LINE#Okay if someone asks me to tag it like that i will...#Posting this im like 'oh my god what if ppl think im weird and i get killed for this'#Then i remember im on Tumblr. Ill be fine. I think#ALSO if u literally click on the read mroe and get mad at seeing. This. Then that's ur own fault ok. Or maybe i didn't actually give a clea#Enough warning idk#Ill probably delete this later if it flops 😭😭😭#ultrakill oc#gabriel ultrakill#V1sona#Oc: V5#oc x canon#Urghhhh this stuff looks so bad BUT WHATEVER#Look at my yaoi or whatever#art#artists on tumblr#artwork#digital art#digital illustration#digital drawing#ultrakill#digital doodle#my art#my ocs#oc art#// suggestive
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i dont usually post stuff like this but the circumstances are rly funny so i will.
my brother got me the ryoji plush for my bday and got me makoto/minato as an xmas present. however it hadn't arrived yet on xmas and lo and behold it eventually arrived on DEC 31ST. 😭
funniest possible date for it to arrive on. anyways i got silly with them
#delete later#????? idk#persona 3#ryoji mochizuki#minato arisato#makoto yuki#ryomina#I GUESS. explodes. ok no more tags im scared#the quality might be fucked a bit on purpose bc i tried putting a filter on to drown out the HARSH fucking yellow light but idk if it worke#the keychains are by @/aryll by the way i preordered them back in? november and then forgot 💀 until they arrived again#and omggg i love them. im giving my brother the makoter and i get ryoji; was originally only gonna get ryoji but then my brother#was like 'why would you separate them' lol. so i asked him if he wanted and yuh. i wish i had blue flower petals for the pic lol#but my mom only bought yellow roses cause we were doing a bunch of intricate new years rituals#2025 will see what adventures i bring these goobers on... i told nobody on here about it but in november i went to present at a conference#and i put ryoji in my ita bag LOLLL he got to see the world... so now makoter can go with him... 🥺#(maybe. ill have to get a new fuckign ita bag bc both wont fit in there it only fits one plushie 😭)
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It's been a long year but i am happy to finally be able to post my Polaroid for the @hws-anthology ! This was my first ever zine and I'm honored to have been part of it since Hetalia has been part of my life for 10 years now. And I've made some incredible friends due to it
#romerica#hws romano#hws america#aph romano#aph america#hws anthology#hetalia#aph#hws#emil.art#deleted the ramble ill make a separate post later#< sorry for.being cringe#or maybe I'll put it back! idk. im mentally ill 👍
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I just took a nap and had a dream that could kinda work like a fic prompt thing maybe and I’m still not entirely awake/coherent yet but like I’m gonna write it all out now while i still remember it i guess
Jack made an AI thing that played some sort of civilization-y video game thing for him (idk why - I guess for some reason completing the game was important to him but he didn’t want to actually spend time doing it himself?), but it later went all AM (the evil AI from IHNMAIMS) and kidnapped him into the game somehow.
So Danny went into the game to go save him. And he was like,, entirely unthreatened about it. The AI kept trying to throw stuff at him and he just kinda dealt with it all casually.
#idk if this is coherent maybe ill esit it later or maybe not#or maybe ill just delete it idk#danny phantom#dream
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is this the point where i make a post looking for new ppl to follow bc i want friends in the fandom for the new thing i am hyperfixating on? are we at that point yet?
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#iwtv#once again i respectfully ask for only adult to engage w this ‼️‼️#idk how young the iwtv demographic skews but hedging my bets#interview with the vampire#amc iwtv#amc interview with the vampire#friends please 🤲 id like them now 🤲#ill prob delete the big tags and maybe even this post later when i overthink this we will see
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i feel comfier posting sketches and talking about them here over twitter so
a wip for some really cool gameboy cartridge based merch im gonna try and make :) im not making the csm one im sorry im lazy and i dont want to draw three chainsaws…. please understand
#tryna. post more onn tungle for the tumblrinas <3#but ill probs delete later. maybe. idk. woof#dunmeshi#witch hat atelier#frieren#sketches
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tried to test the waters by asking my mother what she would do if she had a gay child and she said that she'd have them sent to ghana (home country) to be purified. ok
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#like idk what i expected other than that but damn ok#this is why i'm glad i didnt try and come out or anything when i was younger a few years ago#anyway she said the other option if 'purification' didnt work was to disown them so i guess ill just come out to spite her as an adult#i do not give a fuck about this family line its ending with me brother#deleting this later i just wanted to get it out#i guess i should tag this as#homophobia#?#and maybe also#religious homophobia#because her hatred comes from supposed bible teachings but also africans are usually just Like That when it comes to homosexuals#africa moment
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every now and then i forget how bad my chronic illnesses are and every now and then my body is like 'hmmm you seem to have forgotten what it's like to be cripplingly bedridden and disabled and we don't want you to forget' and then i'm reminded and it feels a little like being yeeted into a granite cliff wall at full speed and leaving a dent
#mother i am in pain#you know when you're#in the depths of pneumonia#it's like that but without having pneumonia#i think the reason long covid and PSVs scare people with chronic illnesses so much is that#we already have the symptoms#we don't want to find out how much further down the rabbit hole we can go#personal#maybe even dare i say#delete later#anyway i woke up not good and i am still not good#i should not be working today dsalkfjas#idk how relatable 'depths of pneumonia' is#'you know when you cough of blood and pus for two weeks'#like idk how universal that is#/makes sad goat noises
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Im watching so many gameplays of games i used to be into i miss how things used to be tbh 😭
#rambling#back when i had like one singular friend and we would just get crushes on characters like we were collecting pokemon#back when certain things hadnt happened and all was atleast somewhat good#id spend nights at his house and wed sneak snacks into his room so we could stay up all night together#9 long years with that guy#i still miss him; its only been about two years since we broke off our friendship but yk#idk if ill ever NOT miss him#but getting back into old fandoms feels nice and nostalgic#it makes me a little sad remembering i cant have wat i used to have anymore but the old crushes and the interest i had in these media#just feels nice#i used to have a crush on Sammy and Henry from BATIM and he used to crush on Boris and Bendy lolol#im watching a no commentary gameplay of it rn i miss it#SAMMY IS SO MENTALLY UNSTABLE IVE JUST ALWAYS BEEN THE I CAN FIX THEM TYPE WITH THESE CHARACTERS LMAO#maannnnn... sighhhhh#yvie-dreams-aloud-{🌬️}#delete later maybe
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sorry for making yet another textpost but i came across that post saying they dislike transfem natsume because he "canonically hates being perceived as a girl and tries to erase all sorts of memories related to that" and also went on to shame genderbends of him aswell. So, as someone who not only draws genderbends of natsume but is myself someone who is nonbinary and hates being perceived as a woman, i thought id offer my two cents
first of all; i think its important to note that natsume does NOT hate his childhood. in fact, hes quite happy that he had such an unusual upbringing!
what natsume hates is being perceived as weak. thats why he was raised as a girl after all, it was his mother trying to protect him from evil spirits. he doesnt hate the whole "-chan" or "wearing dresses" thing because he has a hatred for womanhood, its because due to his upbringing hes now come to associate those things as being weak. he begs tsumugi to forget about it because that means tsumugi remembers natsume being weak, and natsume thinks tsumugi still referring to him as "natsume-chan" means he still sees natsume as weak. (iirc natsume did however once say that he is a little sad that he doesnt really know how to relate to young boys due to this in poltergeist, but i couldnt find the exact quote. either way that just adds to the complexity of natsumes relationship with his childhood, because while he is happy to be "abnormal" in that sense, it has left him lacking in some areas)
i have to ask though, should this conflict of his not be something we hope he overcomes? should we not want him to develop a healthy relationship with various gender expressions? should we not want natsume to overcome his belief that feminine things = weakness? i want natsume to reach a point where he can wear feminine clothing and not feel like some damsel in distress because of it. i want natsumes character to grow. i want him to develop a positive relationship with his gender because natsume DOES enjoy some more typically feminine things, like baking! he used to bake with his mom when he was little! and i want him to feel like he can indulge in that side of him without feeling insecure.....
i LOVE transmasc natsume, my primary hc for him is transmasc nonbinary after all, but with all these things considered, shouldnt people be allowed to headcanon him however they want? if they hear his story and negative relationship with femininity and how that resonates with them and they themselves are transfem, should they not be allowed to hc him as such too?
which brings me to my next point; my own personal relationship with gender and femininity. i was raised as a girl and i fucking DESPISED womanhood. i hated everything about it. i hated how i felt forced into a box i didnt want to be stuck in, and i hated how it felt like my whole life had already been planned out for me due to societal expectations, aswell as me needing to present a certain way. i was peak "tomboy" growing up, constantly wearing super baggy clothes and wouldnt even brush my hair alot of the time. but despite that i remained miserable. i frankly hated how i looked and would constantly dye my hair vibrant colors in an attempt to make me like myself a little more. it wasnt until i realized "wow, im actually not a girl at all" that i finally let go of believing i needed to look a certain way (and thus, defying it) and started to dress for myself. i started to dress in clothes that made me happy and feel pretty! alot of which leans feminine, but clothes doesnt have a gender, and how you dress doesnt define your gender either, but it can still be a bit scary yknow? especially since i dont want people to think of me as a girl, and drawing a bunch of femstars has really made me learn to love myself more in a funny way. i can put these characters in clothes i think are beautiful, i can explore the more feminine parts of me that i adore but dont want to express in public due to how i want others to perceive me, but it has also warmed me up to femininity even more. because femstars to me feels detached from the expectations of society because its not a real thing!! there are no canon femstars designs!!! i can do literally whatever the hell i want with it and its been so liberating to me!!
all this to say; i think it really sucks seeing the way this fandom treats transfem hcs and explicit genderbends, because like ive said before; they can truly be something so personal. you dont know why that person is drawing what theyre drawing, so its a little unwise to make assumptions based on ........ Well, whatever it may be. i know very well that women dressing the way society expects them to SUCKS, esp if you have personal ties to it, but you have to realize the issue isnt femininity, but misogyny.
#maybe ill delete this later idk but i just felt like i needed to say something#as i constantly see these things being spoken of yet never do these people actually reach out to femstarries#and ask Hey why are you doing this?#so instead they make bad faith assumptions and it really sucks.#and while im here;#trans hcs count as genderbends. Because you have changed the characters gender#*IF the org chara is a cisman and you make them a trans woman i should add#once again Stop treating trans and cis people as two separate things#if it was a cisbend itd be CALLED CISBEND#and the reason i tag genderbend is because i know some people dont like it#and thats valid!!! no one is forced to like this kind of stuff!!!#and some people who dont like genderbends might be new to enstars and dont know what femstars is#so should it not still be tagged for those people too?#should we not look out for the trans people who dont wish to see their favs be a different gender???#i dont get it. i really dont#this post probably wont even reach the right audience but wtv#nat rambles#nats enst posting
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i dont usually post random snippets like this but everyone PLS listen to chii she is adorable 🥺🐟
#my video lol#openutau#choubi chii#gekiyaku#kazehiki#cause they're here too. IG. 🙄#i might delete this later idk. i do this a lot with my sillies i just listen to them sing random files i have saved lol 😭#and yes this is the same ust i used for genbu's conchita cover lmao. funny joke about goldfish being opportunistic feeders idk#i had downloaded chii months earlier but only just properly installed her recently lmao. AND UEEE FISH GIRL 🥺🐟#i literally never see anyone talk abt her and like fair sure cause kuzutokaze's other utaus are more famous and she only came out in 2020#i might be biased bc i love aquatic creature theme but SHES CUTEE cmon pls i wish more people noticed her...#i do wanna do stuff w/ her at some point but problem is i have no ideas lmao :') i need to keep testing#also this is what some stuff sounds like with absolutely 0 mixing or proper rendering stuff (in this case the shitty default resampler LOL)#not good tbh. but good enough to give me serotonin when i am depresseddd. sing for me little goobers#the default resampler doesnt do her complete justice im sure and one day maybe ill do smthn better w/ her (to the best of my ability)
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being a hater rq okay sorry BUT KJDFGHK
i'm ngl it lowkey icks me out when someone you aren't even mutuals with/ knows you and what you relatively are ok with talking about interacts with a relatively normal post you make that isn't initially meant to be dc like that and then add like CRAZY dc in the tags lmfao ESP ONE COMPLETELY OFF IN CHARACTERIZATION AND HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WHAT YOU POSTED ABOUT. like how did you get there bro 😭 and it's like icky because it's not even the dynamic u meant. like i get you're excited and stuff to talk and project and i'm glad my post is fueling your brain juices or whatever, and it's not like i am yucking your yum or anything BUT when it's on MY post... and you make it INSANE when it was not... girl go make that a separate post 😭 i do not want that in my notifs KDSJFDFG
#ill delete this later PLS I JUST HAD TO GET IT OFF MY CHEST KDJFGH#dark content mention cw#like yes i support dc/talk about dc but that doesn't mean you have to add dc to post when it was not originally like u don't know if i'm-#-comfy w that KJHSDKJSF LIKE U GOT TOO COMFORTABLE I FEAR LMFAOO#and its like i barely specified in my rules about it so i get it maybe thats on me idk BUT LIKE#IDK BRO#i personally do not yap in someone's notifs when they aren't even talking about something dark LET ALONE TO A CRAZY DEGREE at all#esp if it could make someone uncomfy like HELLO DC IS WICKED U GOTTA BE CAREFUL FKJHFJ luckily thats not the case for me like im chill#BUT STILL LOL
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I hate how sensitive I am to yelling. Whenever someone near me suddenly yells, even if it’s not at me, I jump and I just start crying most of the time.
#one of my guardians yells a lot..and earlier when I got upset bc they yelled real loud I was told to “suck it up” and “get over it”#idk..maybe I’m overreacting or something. That only made me feel worse though it didn’t help#rando speaks#kinda vent?#tw vent#ill put the tw tag just in case#delete later
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