#idk man i get real angry and hurt
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So much love for people in my little heart that I don't know what to do with all of it and also so much hate for people in my little heart that I don't know what to do with all of it
#thoughts#i think i hate people when i register them as disregarding fellow humans#and that is because at a fundamental level i love and respect people so it hurts more#idk hard to explain#right now i love people#then ill talk to a random shmucck who'll say something like#casteism is gone because it doesnt hurt me#or something like that#and I'll be like#how much disregard do you have to have for your own community#and the people around you#to develop a thought like that#do you even look at people around you and think of them as human beings??#idk man i get real angry and hurt#casteism is a valid example but also petty shit like#academics saying we're smarter than daily wage workers and therefore deserve more pay than them#sure grad students are over exploited and that should stop#but can we knock off the elitism??#if it seems I'm pulling out apecific exwmples its cause i am
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what came first, the body dysphoria flare up or the internet deciding now was a fantastsic time to show me transmasc content
#rin rambles#tw i get real heavy in the tags#SLAMMING. MY. HEAD.#HHHRGHHGHHH I GET SO ANGRY AT MYSELF#WHICH I KNOW IS STUPID AND POINTLESS BUT ARGH#every time i like. even have the twinge of these emotions. my brain is like ah.#so you're a failure? you're a fucking disappointment? man. sucks to be you. you should do something about that dysphoria. OH RIGHT.#and then i cry a little in Adoration it's okay#it doesn't feel okay. but like. ah.#i just feel like a disappointment to God. like He gave me this body and i hate it. and i hate that i hate it.#idk i just feel like i'm in so much pain. and then i try to talk with other Catholics about it and i'm seen as a wounded animal. or inhuman.#and they're like 'your dysphoria isn't causing you the anguish it's something else' LIKE IT CAN BE BOTH?#is it so bad to say that YES i am sad that i can't transition? that this causes me grief? but i follow Christ because ultimately He is worth#that pain and suffering?#is it bad to say that love is a sacrifice? and that the whole point of sacrifice is that it hurts?#where was that one post about the ai generated Bible verse. bc it wasn't /totally/ theologically correct but ough.#it made me feel things. i know God sees me and loves me. despite everything. there is love
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a bit insane to know there's people out there who think i'm hot shit tbh. you know i'm a pathetic cringefail loser who literally can't do anything, right?? please raise your standards 😔💔
#had a meeting with my mentor/guide/man i really gotta figure out some english word for her today#and basically unprompted she brought up that like. she thinks i'm amazing for having goals and working to get them#which i was honestly baffled by bc. i don't do anything 👍#my past self sets shit up for me to regret later bc i hate doing stuff. that's it#never heard anyone describe me as ambitious but in her eyes that's like a defining trait of mine#i'm highkey worried i'm gonna disappoint her 😭 and. everyone else.#my method is usually to do the bare minimum so no one develops any expectations#and that way they're always surprised when i do more#unfortunately this plan falls flat bc for some reason ppl keep having expectations of me#not ill intentioned ones. idk if that's the words. ig they're more like hopes?#like they hope i'll do more they hope i'll be better. not for themselves but for me#and then that inevitable disappointment hurts in a different way bc you know it comes from genuine love#i can't even be mad in that case 😭 like what are their expectations of me. for me to be happy??#(honestly in that case i AM angry you should def drop that that's literally impossible 👍)#ok now i'm rambling. sorry. ig this conversation fucked me up a bit bc i've been real stressed since#vent#kinda???????#ask to tag
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y’all what on earth is wrong with my body today
#Oh my gosh ow#Like shit#Some of it is to be expected#Like I get a lot of headaches and it’s pretty normal for general pain and stomach problems#But fuck man#For one thing like. All my limbs are sore??? Idk why??? Like. My arms don’t give me problems?? They don’t really hurt very often???#Why do they hurt??? also why does my right shin hurt??? That’s super random???#It does not pair well with the normal hip + knee pain#Also like my stomach is super weird today??? Got so nauseous on a random car ride I thought was gonna be sick#Ok headaches actually normal. This is how most headaches are. But they pile on#Right along with those random shocks of ear splitting ear pain (see what I did there) that come along to keep me on my toes#Also now I’m having like awful reflux. Which hasn’t happened to me since I was like nine so I don’t even know.#And to be clear: I am not sick. I do not feel a sick vibe. This is just a my body vibe.#Joints hurt head hurts stomach aching digestive system angry ear hurts uterus hurts all of which for no real reason#In short: ow ow ow ow#I’ll just blame it all on my period (which I’ve been having cramps for for a week and a half and haven’t gotten) and sleep it off
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An Unserious List of Kinks I Believe Yunho Has Based on My Analysis and His Birth Chart
Please do not forget these assumptions are just for fun and are not real
This was literally my first draft ever it took months but here we are
First of all, I don't get how yall think he is a softy that man is the epitome of hard dom he will make sure you know who is in charge
The only true dom in the group
Obsessive and possessive (duh) literally look at his birth chart
Has insane stamina, will go for rounds fucking you
Starting off strong and sure: This mf definitely has cosplay/dress up kink, there are no doubts. Have you seen the way that man's eyes lit up when a fan said I will dress up for you?? Yeah
So will def go nuts if you cosplay as spider girl or as his fave game characters, he ain't lasting a second
Which is why he probably likes to see you put on a show, with his taurus venus he probably likes looking at pretty things
Also why he enjoys lingerie a lot
Imo hes a huge hedonist and materialist, he has needs and desires that are difficult to satisfy and i don't think he can ever reach that high. So he will use you and your body for his pleasures a lot, that's also why he needs someone that can obey him
Won't keep his hands off of you for sure, the type to grab your ass in public no shame at all
His taurus venus combined with his scorpio placements, his touches and holds will be possessive. He will make sure you know that you are his (But that will only happen if he really wants you otherwise you might feel like you are being used for your body🤡)
The next one I am so fucking sure is his pain kink. Likes both receiving it and giving it. Esp electric shock. Again have you seen him literally reaching cloud 9 when he was hurt? idk man smths fishy here
Which brings me to the next point: He most likely is a sadist 🥰 luvly rly
He can enjoy dacryphilia, with that pisces mercury seeing your tears will get him going in an instant 🫴🏻
Will bite you, wherever he feels like although imo he'd bite your lips and make them bleed
Will not put up with your brat shit
Likes marking you but especially bruising you. Will also adore it when you leave marks on him, again burises. He already seems to bruise so easily (i feel you babe) so I feel like he would adore them post-sex
Size kink for sure, loves seeing you literally vanish beneath his massive figure
Likes when you praise him with dirty talk
Angry sex <3 jealous sex <3
Is quite vocal but he mostly growls and grunts especially when it's a kinkier sex, on the regular his moans are def low pitched
Sex under influence is something he will enjoy, whether it's drunk or high sex he will love it
Food play🏃🏻♂️ He will involve food during sex for sure
LMAO FOOT FETISH 😭 WE AINT MISSING ON THAT 🤾🏻♂️ (did that one pisces placement he has made him this way?? idk??) Enjoys both recieving and giving but id say giving more so def likes it when your feet is pretty (painting your nails and pedicure is def a turn on)
Like it or not he's a CNC typa man😋 loves forcing you and seeing you so ruined, controling you is important to him
In fact hes probably the only member to be heavily interested in darker and heavier kinks
He will be really sensitive with his 5 senses so he needs someone that can stimulate those senses
He doesn't want to get bored during sex, mental stimulation is important for him
Loves dirty talk
Humiliation and degredation™
Will force you to look into his eyes (But as a punishment he might never let you look at him either)
He is a slapper... He will slap and spank you a lot
Fake sympathy™
To me he's just that type of person to grab you from the chin, look you in the eyes and tell you "You wouldn't want it to be like this, would you princess?" Like he will threaten you subtly without being even mean
I might keep adding to the list so beware
#ateez smut#ateez#yunho smut#yunho#jeong yunho#yunho hard thoughts#yunho hard hours#ateez hard thoughts#ateez hard asks#ateez hard hours#ateez yunho#ateez yunho smut#atz#ateez drabbles#ateez imagines#yunho drabble#yunho imagine#yunho imagines#yunho x reader#yunho x y/n
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CHUBBY! READER X ALASTOR
I'm soooo sorry that I'm requesting something else this just came to me and I needed your storytelling expertise to bring it to life 😢
ALSO ALSO ALSO this one has a trigger warning so please read with the thought that YOURE PERFECT!!!😤(if you write it)
OTAY OTAY soooooooooooo reader has been apart of the hotel for awhile and has developed a crush on Alastor from afar and the small instances they do cross paths but hesitates to approach him on her own because well we're shy and HES THE RADIO DEMON anyway reader doesn't have to worry about distance between them because Alastor is AVOIDING HER ALL ON HIS OWN 😯 AND somehow reader gathers the courage to approach Alastor but sees his relationship with Rosie (they're besties, platonic soulmates definitely) and thinks 'wow, she's so beautiful and...thin' and proceeds to lock herself away from everyone (SOLITUDE) and skips meals (starving herself), Alastor is the first to notice shes missin and pulling away but doesn't know how to approach her without stumbling over his words (i like to think that hes a heartbreaker to other women like his fans but with someone that he likes with real feelings hes fumbling in the dark because he could get rejected instead, i will die on the hill) so so so he hesitates to ask reader whats wrong till he hears her throwing up or she says something awful about herself and Alastor gets angry on her behalf and reader goes silent, only for Alastor to take a breath and tell her that 'shes hurting herself, for a shallow reason such as looks', and reader goes 'i thought you liked to watch others downfalls' and then hes like 'not your downfall, never you' 😔 reader starts to cry and shouts "im not Rosie', confused Alastor finally starts putting the pieces together and grabs reader hands and sincerely says "good, i wouldn't rosie anyhow, or anyone else for that matter', reader continuing to cry tells him to stop lying that this joke isn't funny and Alastor kissies her hand as says "whos joking? I only want you, your perfect" then then then slowly Alastor starts to help reader look at themselves in a more positive light [[fit this in somewhere???????Alastor tells reader why hes so close to rosie (he's clueless about reciprocated love so he goes to Rosie because canon that she knows matters of the heart...right?)]]
A/N as always i am obsessed with your request. Also I 100% agree with the assessment of Alastor's ability to talk to people he actually likes. I am literally so obsessed with this request. Also I am assuming from your previous comments you wanted the same bunny demon character?? Please forgive me if I am wrong but I did it for her (because I love her dearly and she is based of meeeee and I'm egotisticalllllll). Kisses bestie <3 <3
Downfall (Alastor x Chubby!Bunny Demon!Reader)
Paring: Alastor x Reader
Word Count: 4,076 (I got a little carried away)
Warnings: BODY IMAGE ISSUES!!! EDS!!!! I think that's it but they're in all caps for a reason so if you have ED issues maybe don't read this one??? It is hurt//comfort tho so maybe do???? Idk. If you get triggered by ed descriptions, don't. If having a fictional character tell you you're perfect the way you are and beg you to stop destroying yourself because they can't bear to watch would help you, do.
Master Lists:
Master Lists
Hazbin Hotel Master List
Alastor Master List
Click here and leave a comment if you want to be added to any taglists or send me an ask about it.
It had taken months. Months of wondering what he was like, of stolen glances, of furtive daydreams. Months of building up courage, of backing down, months of hoping and dreaming. It had taken endless encouragement from Angel, countless pages in her diary. It had taken a million deep breaths, ten thousand trembles of her hands. Months, it had taken months.
It wasn't like Y/n had never spoken to the man before. That wasn't really the issue. She wasn't scared of him, just scared. The simple idea of being alone with him was an intoxicating mixture of terror and utter bliss. Y/n didn't know how to handle it, she didn't know how to handle him.
Alastor was untouchable, nearly semi-divine in her eyes. Sure, he was fucked up, but they all were. At the end of the day, his facade was as easy to see through as a cheap paper crown from a Christmas cracker. Beneath the wide smile, the sharp teeth, the stories, Alastor was just a man. He cared deeply for the world around him, for the people around him and those in his life. No matter how hard he tried to disguise it, it always shone through to Y/n.
It wasn't like she had never spoken to Alastor before, she had just never spoken to him alone before. Every interaction they had ever had was as a part of the larger group of Hotel residents and staff. On the rare occasion they ran into one another in the hallway or happened to each be in the kitchen at the same time, Y/n froze up. Words turned to stones in her stomach and all she could ever seem to manage was a gentle nod, a shaky smile. It frustrated her to no end.
Finally, she had worked up the courage to talk to him. It was all Angel's idea really, she would never have had the thought to do such a thing on her own but his pushing had been relentless and at last, Y/n had agreed.
And it had taken months, months! This was her third attempt to go up to him. They had even lowered the stakes, Angel saying all she had to do was have a single normal conversation with the man and he would let her off the hook, stop his pestering and teasing. It was just her luck, really just her god damn luck.
Sir Pentious had informed Y/n that Alastor had left the hotel to see a friend, Charlie had given her the address of the cafe he had said he would be at should they need him. Everyone was all smiles, all encouragement. Y/n reminded herself to yell at Angel later for spilling her secret although, she guessed she shouldn't have expected anything else from the hotel's biggest gossip.
Putting on her favorite outfit, her hair all done up and makeup perfect, Y/n had slicked her ears flat against her head in determination and stepped out onto the streets of Pentagram City. It didn't take long for her to find the place, a sweet little cafe on the outskirts of Cannibal Town with white wrought iron chairs and a cheerful pink and purple sign. It hadn't taken her long to spot the bright red of Alastor's suit through the window either, standing out against all the muted purples and dark blacks of the other cannibals enjoying their meals within.
"It's fine. It's totally not weird that you're going up to him in a cafe he's having lunch in with a friend, that you.... oh my god Y/n!! He's gonna think you were stalking him! You should just go back and- no! You promised. Y/n, you can do this."
She took a deep breath, centering herself in that little core, that rod of who she was, that shot down the center of her being. Raising a closed fist to her chest, she shut her eyes.
"You can do this, Bunny." she reaffirmed, "You can do this."
Opening her eyes, she crossed the street. Her hand was inches away from the door's handle, her heart racing but set on what she was about to do, when Y/n noticed exactly who Alastor's 'friend' was.
Across the table from him, sipping delicately on a cup of tea, was the most beautiful demon Y/n thought she had ever laid eyes on. She had long, dainty fingers, thin and spidery, and the most perfectly proportioned body. She was tall, long legs sheltered by her skirt and a tiny waist that threw her hips and chest into contrast. The woman's hair was neat, tucked up beneath a wide brimmed hat. Her clothes were classy, her smile was bright and charming, the black holes of her eyes were... were... were everything. She was everything, everything Y/n wasn't.
Suddenly, the weight of her own body against her bones became all too real. She felt the urge to never be touched again, the same strange sickness of her youth sinking its teeth into the softness of her stomach, her thighs, her arms, all of her. Her hand lowered from the handle, Alastor laughing at something the woman had said to him. He seemed relaxed, more at peace than Y/n had ever seen the man before. If that wasn't love, she didn't know what was.
It took a second for the other residents of the Hazbin Hotel to realize the change. Y/n was good at this, she'd had practice. For years, she had worked to move past it all but the threat of a relapse had always hung over her head. It was her sword of Damocles, her fated demise.
Y/n retreated in to herself, she couldn't get the image of that woman out of her head. Poised, statuesque, thin. God, Y/n had never wanted anything more than she wanted to be thin. She wanted to rip fistfuls of flesh from her body, she wanted to wither away so only something beautiful remained.
Alastor was the first to notice. He had a soft spot for the rabbit demon who always seemed to be full of that soft, discrete joy and unending kindness. She was a more toned down version of Charlie. She was genuine and completely herself, no holds bared. She had such a hope, she had such a goodness, it made him wonder why she hadn't ended up in Heaven instead.
The truth was, behind the bravado and the grin, Alastor was scared of Y/n. He was scared he would touch her and she would rot away or worse, that she would run. She was just so good, so intrinsically wondrous, and he was the opposite. She was a fresh rose and he was the person coming haplessly along with a pair of gardening shears. She was radiant, she was carved fresh from marble, he was down bad.
Women had never been a priority or a problem for Alastor. Living and dead, they flocked to him. He knew his reputation was to blame, not to mention his looks. They could be fun for a while. Alastor saw charming them as a game, a good way to pass the time. This was different, Y/n was different. Alastor didn't know what to do so, he did nothing. He avoided her like the plague and when he couldn't, he practically ignored her, barley spared her a word.
Alastor was untethered, completely in the dark and so, he did what everyone does when they feel like that: he went to talk to his best friend. When he had gotten back to the hotel after his rather illuminating little chat with Rosie, Charlie had asked him if he had seen Y/n. It felt like divine chance, a cruel joke of fate, that the demon Princess would bring up the very source of his problems so soon after having at last pushed past his pride to ask for help.
When he had revealed the truth to the gang, that no, he had not in fact seen Y/n, they seemed deflated. There had been some sighs, some shrugs, shared glances he didn't understand and then everything had gone back to normal except, it wasn't quite normal.
Where Y/n could normally be found causing trouble, making mischief with the people who had so quickly become her friends since she had started her stay at the hotel out in the open, there was now a distinct lack of her jovial presence. She began taking her plates to her room at meals, showing up to group activities less and less, claiming she was tired or had a stomach ache. Alastor noticed every time he did manage to catch a glimpse of the marvelous and strange creature who had captured his affections so, she seemed utterly exhausted. Y/n was always bundled up, even on the warmest of days.
He wanted to go talk to her, wanted to ask her if she was okay. Alastor was worried -- genuinely worried -- about her. The only thing that stopped him from knocking every time he passed her perpetually closed door, was that he knew himself too well. He knew that the minute he entered, he'd lose his courage, that the words would become mush in his mouth.
It was pure chance, right place wrong time, that he heard it. Alastor had been following his normal routine, heading up to his radio tower for a broadcast after a group activity. Today had been Operation Navigation! As Charlie had dubbed it. She and Vaggie had built an obstacle course and everyone had a partner who was blindfolded and had to be guided through. When they got to the other end, the pairs had switched. Miraculously, Y/n had shown up to this event.
Alastor had watched her carefully, noting her sluggish movements and the way it took her a second to fully register what anyone was saying in a given moment. It was out of the ordinary and his worry only grew. He knew he was going to have to do something about it eventually but just didn't know how. Maybe it would require another visit to Rosie.
As he walked past the lobby bathroom, Alastor was pulled from his thoughts. The door was slightly ajar, sending shards of light out into the darkened hallway.
"Why isn't it working!"
Came the hushed yell of defeat. It was Y/n's voice, he'd know it anywhere. Alastor stopped walking.
"Why do I have to be..."
There was a sniff, the sound of something hitting the wall. Alastor realized it had been Y/n at the sound of fabric against the wallpaper. He could see her in his minds eye as she slid down the wall, pulling her knees into her chest.
"Why can't I just be skinny."
Y/n's words were muffled, soft and shaky.
"Why can't I just be pretty. Why do I have to be... to be..." her words were briefly broken by a sob, "why can't I just be good. I can't even fucking starve myself right. I wish..."
Alastor's body reacted before his mind could catch up, he knocked gently on the door. There was a little yelp of surprise from within, a few sniffs and some rustling fabric.
"Yeah?"
Y/n's voice trembled as she tried to keep the tears at bay.
"May I come in?"
Alastor heard the sharp intake of breath. It was too late to back down now. The silence was thick between them, it felt eternal.
"Okay." Y/n agreed at last, her voice small, and Alastor stepped into the room.
It was exactly how he had imagined it. Y/n was huddled on the floor next to the door, her knees tucked up under her chin and her arms holding her shins tightly. Alastor noticed that the thick, woolen sweater she had been wearing earlier had been tossed to the side, laying haphazardly beside the sink. Y/n sniffed again, trying to smile.
"Everything okay?" she asked and Alastor fixed his eyes back on her.
Y/n's eyes were rimmed with red. Her ears lay limply around her face which was stained with tears. Her skin was covered in goosebumps, she shivered.
"No. It's not."
She seemed a bit taken aback by his answer, not having grasped the reality of the cracked door earlier.
"I don't... what's wrong?"
"You are starving yourself." Alastor replied in a matter-of-fact voice.
Y/n's eyes went wide.
"Fuck... I... fuck!" she buried her face in her knees, "You weren't supposed to hear that."
"Are you trying to die!?" Alastor asked,
He didn't mean to yell, he didn't mean to be this angry. Everything he said seemed to send shockwaves of regret through his body. No matter what he did, he couldn't seem to stop himself.
"Are you... I just... are you stupid?!"
Y/n looked up at him again, her eyes wet with fresh tears.
"I-"
"You what." Alastor scoffed, "You want to be pretty?"
"I..."
"You want to be pretty so you lock yourself away? You make your friends watch as you... as you what, as you get thin? As you destroy yourself?"
She was crying now, truly crying. Alastor looked away, a hand to his head. He took a deep breath, everything was going wrong. When he looked at her again, her cheeks were flushed from a mixture of shame and hurt.
"I just..." he took another deep breath, sinking to his knees before her, "Why would you hurt yourself so badly for something as.. as shallow as your looks?"
Y/n sniffled, frantically trying to wipe away her tears.
"What, I thought you liked to watch other people's downfalls." she tried to shoot back at him but her words came out stuttering and broken through the thickly falling tears.
Y/n refused to meet Alastor's gaze. Everything was going wrong. She was horribly embarrassed, she felt like a butterfly and Alastor was the terror who had opened her chrysalis too soon. He wasn't supposed to see her like this, he wasn't supposed to see her now. He was only supposed to get the after. It was all for him, after all, wasn't it?
Except, Y/n knew the truth of the matter. Alastor had been the trigger but, these behaviors were too well engrained. She might not have known it then, but she'd been looking for an excuse all along. It was all for her, every inch of agony.
His heart dropped at her words. Was that what Y/n truly thought of him? It would make sense, it was the face he presented to the world after all. He had just thought... he had hoped... Rosie had said....
Rosie. That was the answer. She had told him to be honest, to be vulnerable no matter how terrifying such a prospect could be. She had said it was the only way they ever had the slightest chance.
Alastor reached a hand out gently, turning Y/n to look at him. Her skin was soft to the touch, the beating of her blood thrumming against his fingertips. With the utmost care he could muster in his clawed and rotten hands, Alastor wiped her tears away. He couldn't meet Y/n's eyes but heard her sniffle, watched as the flow of sorrow slowed.
"Not your downfall." he said, his words like quiet feathers falling through the air, "Never your downfall."
At last he met her trembling gaze, fear coursing hotly through him, mingling with his blood. She took a few short, stuttering breaths before bursting into tears once again. Alastor flinched slightly as her head fell forward onto his shoulder.
"But I'm not that woman!"
"Woman... what woman?"
"The one you were with at the cafe!"
"The one... Rosie?"
Y/n nodded, sniffiling slightly as she tried to calm herself down.
"You saw me with Rosie? How?"
"I went... I'd been working up all this courage and... I just wanted to talk to you and Charlie and Pen said you'd be there and... and... and I'm not Rosie!"
Suddenly, everything clicked into place. He had been right all along, Rosie was the answer. With the air of someone who hadn't had much physical affection given to them in their life, or received any for that matter, Alastor slowly wrapped his hands around Y/n's shaking back.
"Good."
"What do you mean 'good'? She's so beautiful and she made you laugh and she's just... she's so beautiful and thin!"
"She is beautiful, and a lovely woman but, I don't want Rosie. Or anyone else for that matter."
Y/n's sobs redoubled, she began to struggle against his grip.
"Let me go! Stop lying, Alastor."
Alastor released Y/n from his grasp and she pushed herself back against the wall, utterly mortified and unable to stop. She crossed her arms over her chest, looking away.
"Stop joking, it's... it's not funny."
"Who is joking? I..." Alastor took a deep breath.
Rosie had been right, it was terrifying. He hope she was right on the second part too, that it would be worth it.
"Y/n, have you seen yourself?"
"Yes! Why the fuck do you think I want to be anything else?!"
Alastor got to his feet, holding a hand out to Y/n.
"Come with me."
"No." she mumbled, scooting further away from him if it was possible.
Under another circumstance, he would have chuckled lightly, he would have found her reaction adorable. This was neither the time nor the place and so, summoning his shadows, he transported them both into the darkness of his room.
Y/n looked around, pulling herself to her feet.
"Where... where are we?"
"My room." Alastor sat down on the edge of his bed, "Come here."
Hesitantly, Y/n took a few steps forwards. Once she was in reach, he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into his lap. The feeling sent sparks through his body, Alastor tried his best to ignore it. There were more important things than the pleasure of the moment. Y/n struggled against his grasp, the tips of her ears dragging slightly across his arms.
"Alastor! Let me go! I'm too heavy!"
"No, you're quite perfect actually."
"I don't want to be touched! I don't want you to... you're making me want to tear my skin off, please."
"No." his voice was firm.
"Please, just please let go of my waist at least."
To this, he relented, one of his arms falling loosely onto her lap as he held the other up, snapping his fingers. Shadow's flooded into the room, bringing with them a full length mirror. He felt Y/n tense in his grasp.
They came to a stop, setting the mirror on the ground before them. Y/n turned her head away, her eyes shut tight.
"Please stop, Alastor. This really isn't funny."
"Y/n."
"No."
"Y/n."
"No!"
Y/n, please."
She had never heard him say the word before. Slowly, she opened her eyes, craning her neck to look up at Alastor.
"I want you to see what I see when I look at you."
"You promise you wont be mean?" Y/n asked suspiciously after a moment.
"I pinky promise."
He had seen her do this before, with other residents of the hotel. A simple locking of pinky's was all it ever took to make a promise, to assuage her doubts, to show she cared. Y/n's eyes widened slightly. Slowly, she reached her hand out, locking her pinky with his. They shook their hands once, the way Alastor had seen her do it a thousand times before.
"Wait." Y/n said as he made to move his hand away, looking away bashfully, her cheeks a bright pink and her voice quiet, "Don't let go."
"Okay."
Taking a deep breath, she turned to the mirror. It was terrible, she felt bile rise in her throat.
"Y/n, you are so... every inch of you is perfect." Alastor took a deep breath, the way his voice trembled not escaping Y/n's notice, "You have... amazing legs. I know everyone's all obsessed with Angel's but, he has nothing on you walking around on those sticks. You're... you're all soft curves and lace. If you were made of anything, you would be satin. You are a nymph rising from the lakes, a wild maenad in the woods. Your eyes shine like true stars, not what we have here. Did you know rabbits were always my favorite animal?"
Y/n giggled slightly, her tearstained cheeks flushed pink.
"Well they were. They still are. Your ears are just to die for, dearest."
He felt her ears twitch slightly against his back at the comment and Y/n watched through the mirror as his smile softened at it's harsh edges.
"Your grace is what the Greeks wrote about. You... Y/n, the first time I set eyes on you, I felt like I was drowning." Alastor looked away, unable to meet her eyes even through the glass, "Like you were a siren and I was nothing more than a hapless sailor at your mercy."
"But you never talk to me."
"You never talk to me!"
Y/n laughed again, smiling a gummy smile.
"I don't have to talk to you to see who you are, Y/n." Alastor continued, his hand that was in her lap turning so his palm rested gently on her thigh, "You light up any room you're in. You are charming and clever and constantly on the look out for places you can instill your special breed of controlled chaos."
Trembling, he shifted his hand in Y/n's so he held hers, raising it to his mouth. The heat of his breath on her skin drove Y/n wild, her breath hitched.
"I am glad you're not Rosie, I don't want Rosie. I don't want anyone else except for you."
Alastor planted a soft kiss on the back of her hand and Y/n's smile only grew, her tears long forgotten now as she watched Alastor's reflection.
"You are perfect. Please, don't change yourself, don't hurt yourself, trying to be something else. I'd miss you."
Slowly, he let their still clasped hands fall into Y/n's lap.
"Do you see now?"
Y/n turned back to the mirror, her head tilted slightly to one side as she hummed in consideration.
"No." she admitted, "But I think I might be able to start."
"One step at a time." Alastor rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand in comforting circles, "I'll be with you the whole way, if you'll have me."
He held his breath, waiting for her reply. Y/n met his eyes through the mirror, her brow furrowed.
"That depends."
"On what?"
"Who is Rosie?"
Alastor could have laughed, he nearly did.
"She is a very old and dear friend. I was going to her for advice, that day."
"You? Needing advice?" Y/n paused before shaking her head, "Nah, I don't see it."
She laughed lightly at her own joke and Alastor smiled softly back at her.
"It was advice about you, actually."
Y/n turned herself in his lap, looking up at him with her legs on either side of his own.
"About me?"
"Y-yes."
He cursed himself internally. Alastor hadn't meant to stutter, she just looked too lovely sitting there and looking up at him with her pretty pink lips slightly parted, her cheeks flushed.
"Well?" she asked expectantly.
"I..." Alastor felt the heat rising in his own cheeks and looked away, "well, I didn't know how to approach you."
"Wait, you were avoiding me this whole time?" Y/n laughed and Alastor nodded, "I thought I was avoiding you!"
"Wait, you were avoiding me?"
His gaze snapped back to hers and she laughed again.
"Yes! I was terrified to speak to you! You're so cool and hot and just... I'm not good at things like this!"
"You think I'm hot?"
"Is that all you got out of what I said?"
"Maybe."
They both laughed this time. Alastor's chest felt lighter than it hand in years.
"So," he began once they had both calmed down, "is that a yes?"
"To what?"
"To letting me... be... with you."
Y/n smiled, reaching a hand up to his cheek.
"That's a 'will you be with me?' I think actually."
----
Tags:
@willowshadenox @i-love-jafar @elfyeet @reader3 @lazygirlfanfic0-0@kahlan170
A/N Y'all, there were one or two times I almost wrote my name while doing this one. I've been writing x reader fics for eight years, this never happens to me anymore. I think I related a little too hard. I am x reader fic writing too close to the sun.
#hazbin hotel#x reader#hazbin alastor#alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor the radio demon#fic writer#x reader fics#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x y/n#alastor hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel x chubby!reader#alastor fanfiction#alastor x reader#alastor x you#alastor x chubby!reader#the radio demon x reader#radio demon x reader#the radio demon#radio demon#requested#request#request one shot#x reader one shot#x reader oneshot#x chubby!reader#x chubby reader#chubby!reader
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Yeonjun being your ceo hubby and you both got in a argument but had to go to a party so he spent the whole night talking with other people and you got bored so you went to go dance with a guy and Yeonjun pulled you back saying
"I know we aren't in good terms at the moment but if you think I'm gonna let you be touched by another man that isn't me the you are fucking crazy"
And either you tell him to fuck off and it turns into angry sex when you both get back or he drags you out the party and he drives to a empty car park and you both fuck in the backseat 😁
UR INSANNEEEEEEEEEEEE. cw hes kinda mean and hypocritical ? idk also i got so carried away w this dont ask me why its 1k words i literally dk what happened,,,,
no bc i imagine it would be something sooooo petty, something that clearly needed to just be chatted about but the time just slips and suddenly your attitude is just through the roof while you have to converse at this stupid party with a bunch of snobs who you decide in the heat of your anger he’s just like (you know he’s not)
and every word yeonjun speaks just serves to piss you off more >:( that dumb smile on his face like he didn’t upset you and then cater to everyone else with such ease. pretending like everything’s okay, like how dare he ! 🙄
the final straw being that maybe he laughs a little too loud at one of his employees jokes, leaned a little too close in to hear them, allowed touches that linger too long to be friendly intentions; all while he’s almost completely ignored you all evening, when you were only here for him anyway— all dolled up just for him to argue with you and then ignore you.
so you take your interest elsewhere, allowing whatever guest next hits you with a ‘no pretty little thing like you should be pouting like that’ to be your entertainment.
it doesn’t work as intended at first, your eyes consistently darting back and forth between this stranger and yeonjun, who seemingly doesn’t pay you any mind. you deflate a little, chugging back the rest of the champagne in your glass.
and then, this stranger, who you have yet to gain the name of, tries to touch you. he starts with a click of his tongue, grinning as he tilts his head a little. ‘come on, darling. don’t look so sad. i’ll keep you company… get you another drink?’ and his hands begin a slide for your waist.
alas! he’s abruptly stopped by a grasp on his wrist, tight and practically a chokehold around the limb. you know those fingers anywhere.
‘they’re fine. thanks.’ yeonjun says, composed and completely nonchalant on the surface of his tone. but you can see his grip must hurt, can hear the dip of frustration in his voice.
and then you’re being lead by his hands, gentle loving touch ever not present, until the breeze of night air bites at your skin. you frown, and pull yourself free from his clutch, standing before him looking just as frustrated as he seems to feel.
‘the hell are you doing?’ to which he scoffs a laugh, cold as the temperature that wisps at your face in bursts of wind.
‘the fuck are you doing?’
your brows furrow, anger settling under your skin again, your whole body tense. ‘what the fuck’s that supposed to mean?’
‘were you just going to let him lay his hands on you? you seemed real comfortable.’ he’ll tell you, tongue in cheek. it’s unbelievable, completely ironic that you feel maniacal.
‘you can’t be fucking serious,’ you smile despite yourself, ‘you cannot be fucking serious, yeonjun.’
silence falls over you two for a moment, every ticking second he just looks more and more pissed. you stand there practically urging him on, disbelief written across your features in such clear displays. yet, he’s still quiet, and somehow it scares you just a little. but fuck, he’s such a hypocrite! you’re the bad guy when he had hands on himself all night with no protest? you are the one in trouble like he didn’t ignore you all alone at his work party?
‘let’s go.’
you’re broken from your reverie of rageful stomping thoughts, the build up of all the mean things you want to scream at him quickly fading. now a little thrown off by the calmness of his voice, tone void of any actual emotion, your mouth drops open a little despite nothing to say.
‘huh?’
‘i said, we’re going.’
dumbfounded, you find yourself tugged along again, towards the car park where you think an awkward, tense ride home will await you. where you expect a pillow and spare blanket thrown haphazardly over the couch by the end of the night.
the last thing on your mental list to expect is being pushed up against the passenger side door, caged in with a finger under your chin, a hand on your hips. your eyes are frantic in search of explanation as you look up at your husband in shock.
his thumb moves to your lips, pressing into the soft flesh where you've already parted in a quiet gasp. yeonjun grins a little, eyes dark and full of mirth.
‘you've had an attitude all day, baby,' he'll say, 'you know well there's nobody else for me than you, hm? no matter how bratty you get with me.'
you gently bite as his finger in retort, 'still doesn't explain your sudden work wife, does it?'
his grin widens, a tad scary in terms of trying to provoke a more negative response. 'just like you throwing yourself at my coworker, yeah? bit desperate for attention, don't you think?'
you bristle, 'he was keeping me company while you whored yourself out, but okay.'
he doesn't falter like you want him to, but his hands tighten on you. he tilts his head.
'yeah? why don't you go back inside to him then? think he could fuck you right, sweetheart?'
oh.
you twitch a little, breath exhaled less confident than before, and he's quick to notice it with such a smug smile. you want to wipe it right off his face, but you fear everything you've built yourself up with tonight is quickly crumbling down.
'maybe he could.' but he can hear how unsure you sound, and he laughs. he's condescending you now. yeonjun hums, leaning closer.
'you don't sound so confident. what makes you think he could handle your attitude, anyway?'
you lack the words, the bite, falling so quiet as he stares at you intently. eyes trained on every tiny change your body language gives him. your eyes stare back, already glassy while your lips start to pout. but you snark once more.
'fuck you.'
it's a haze. because before you can even begin to think of saying anything further, he's got you in his backseat. you're bent over, his chest to your back, your attire completely dishevelled and underwear ripped down your legs, as he fucks into you so hard you know you'll feel it for days to come.
he pants hotly right into your ear, ‘you can be mad at me all you want, baby, but nobody touches you except me, you understand that?’
you can only mewl in response, already too fucked out as the pleasure turns your brain into mush. however, he’s not satisfied with that, and with a grunt he reels his hand back to lay a loud slap on the fat of your ass.
‘i asked you a question, i expect a fucking answer. or are you already too fucking stupid on my cock to talk?’
you sob, nodding your head frantically while you try to hold yourself up on trembling limbs. ‘yes, yes. i understand’
his thrusts manage to grow rougher, and you fall forward until your face presses into the leather of the seats.
‘so cute when you cry. you ready to apologise to me? hm? tell me you’re sorry for being such a brat to me.’
‘m’sorry!’ you cry, another spank this time landing on your thigh, ‘m’sorry, ‘jun. won’t happen again.’
he laughs as he throws his head back, hands on your hips to fuck you on his cock. he’s breathless but it’s so so hot.
‘liar. i’ve spoilt you too much. all you know now is how to get what you want. and this is what you wanted? for me to fuck some sense into you?’
you know it’s technically not true, he knows that too, but you start nodding frantically regardless. the haze of your pleasure renders you to his complete mercy.
‘yes! i’m sorry. just need you. always need you.’
‘you have me, angel.’ he grunts on a particularly harsh jolt of his hips, cock hitting a deeper angle as you cry out so loud you almost miss his words.
‘y’always have me. let me prove it to you? want me to knock you up? m’gonna make you a mommy.’
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IWTV rant incoming, spoilers for both seasons, be forewarned!
I've been seeing far too much Louis hate online recently, and while I'm of the opinion that none of these vamps are completely innocent by nature, I can't help but notice the disproportionate hate on my boy.
Honestly, it feels a little like fandom racism. And I think AMC IWTV fans have convinced themselves that they're beyond such things because of Jacob and Assad, but idk, everyone turning on the Black one at once seems... yucky?
First, I've seen a lot of "Louis is an abuser". Which... is a wild take on a show where most of the main characters hurt everyone around them?
I think some of it is coming from those who saw the episode in season 2 in which it is revealed that the big fight that Louis and Lestat had in S1 was more even than just Lestat beating up Louis, but y'all... we're not supposed to take S1 as a complete fabrication. A lot of y'all keep saying "oh, we haven't met the real Lestat." Sure, not in person and not from his POV until that ending, but we're not supposed to take it as Louis just lying outright. In the series, different from the books, OUR Louis calls Daniel back in 2022 to give him a more accurate version of the story. In the 1970s, he was just trash-talking Lestat. In 2022, he is remembering Lestat fondly while also remembering all the pain Lestat caused him. He only learns at the end of the season that Armand manipulated some of his memories. And only SOME. We're not supposed to think Armand made Louis misremember everything he and Lestat ever did together. So, we can take S1 as a version of the truth, even if it has some holes or misremembered parts... and in S1, Lestat is a scary guy. When Louis fought him, he was fighting a scary monster. You can't talk about it like he was a human man fighting his human partner because he got a little angry. He was a vampire fighting an even stronger vampire who, as far as Louis knew, was capable of awful things. And Lestat stalked Louis when he was still a human, fed on him without consent, killed the priests Louis turned to in fear... none of that was healthy courtship of a lover. To then turn around and call LOUIS the abuser? That's nuts.
And then there's Armand.
Armand is capable of great physical violence without even lifting a finger. You cannot look at me in the face and tell me that Louis slamming him into a wall was *abuse* after finding out that Armand mindfucked him for 70 years. After y'all saw what Armand did to Daniel. After Armand plotted Louis' death while manipulating Louis into thinking he was loved.
"Louis is an abuser" is a wild take after watching both of those seasons. Louis isn't an innocent princess, either, but compared to the two older vampires, he is the main victim of the story. Both Lestat and Armand emotionally abused him, manipulated him, and physically hurt him, and after all of it, he just ends up alone.
Now, believe me, I love Armand and Lestat. I think they're wonderfully awful people, and so much fun to watch, so fun to love, so fun to hate. But I think so many people left season 2 on their sides completely, just because Louis stood up for himself AND admitted that he was wrong about a lot of what he thought he remembered. And in all honesty, I think a lot of y'all like Sam and Assad because they're hot and... Jacob, while hot, is still Black. With Assad, you can give yourselves the benefit of the doubt because he's still a person of color, but he's a non-black person of color...
And Black people are not afforded softness or innocence, the way non-black people are. So, Louis doing something that's not good makes him not good, even if it's in the context of being a vampire. But Lestat and Armand get "brat prince" and "baby girl" even when they're cruel.
And also, it's not great to put the "abuser" label on someone standing up to their abuser. I dunno. Feels kinda yucky, in that sense, too.
Personally, I try to keep these people's vampire incarnations out of human morality, because being a vampire is inherently immoral because you need to kill to stay alive. So, like, when they physically fight, I can excuse it because they know they can't actually do much harm for the most part, because vampires heal fast and can't be easily hurt. But when... idk, you drop your fledgling from an extreme height, or cut someone's ankles and have them buried in rocks and locked away in a mausoleum... that's actually trying to hurt them (as Lestat admitted.)
And Louis' attempt to kill Lestat was because he and Claudia feared him. None of them disagree with that fact.
Anyway, have the same grace for the Black man that you do for your brat prince. Idk why y'all are trying to make Louis the bad guy. He never even asked to be a vampire. Lestat just wanted to keep him.
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Idk if you’re into omega verse but omg I just thought of it being applied to Yujiro and poor omega reader goddamn 😭 (I think I may have gone a little bit too far on this one ngl, also I’m half asleep so sorry for any issues..)
Nasty nasty Alpha Yujiro who takes advantage of poor little you. Who would have thought he’d ever encounter such a rare beauty? Omegas were practically extinct in the baki universe, the world full of hardened alphas made no room for the sweet soft omegas. And yet here you were against all odds.
From the moment he met you, he’d made the promise that he would never spread his seed through out the world.
Nay, he was going to hammer in his children into your fertile womb as you cried out in overstimulation. You would carry all of his offspring for the rest of your life. That was a promise.
While many of his past devoted lovers would have been flattered by his devotion, you were anything but.
Sure Yujiro would disappear on some days but no longer than a week.
But on the days he were in your house. It’d be a constant running away and fighting off the lustful touches of Yujiro.
The dreadful “Honey~ I’m home!~” had you cringing so hard as thick muscular arms surrounded your waist.
Having to take showers with the Ogre that always ended with you pressed up against the glass mirror as Yujiro crowded you against it.
Having your favorite clothes torn to shreds as he tried to make “love to you”.
Waking up in the middle of the night to see the humongous man deep in your guts as he ruthlessly pounded into you.
And when you went in heat…oh boy.
You’re horny 24/7 and you won’t fight back at all? Just lil ol you whimpering about how much it hurts and that you need something inside? You’d let the older man kiss you and cling onto him needily. His poor little omega!
Yeah, Yujiro loves your heats.
This man keeps a track record of when your heats are around the corner. It doesn’t matter if he’s in another country or across the globe the globe away from you. If he sees you have started your heat, he’s running like a madman with the nastiest smirk that has people running away screaming. They all thought he was out to murder someone (ya ur lil meow meow)
Out of spite you decide to hook up with some random beta when your heat starts up. Which immediately back fires when Yujiro has said man tied up as he watches you get plowed down by your real alpha.
“My little omega, have I neglected you so much that you seeked out some limp dick beta to satisfy you? I guess I’ll have to you more attention to keep you satisfied, huh?”
You know Yujiro is going to show you off. I mean, who wouldn’t?
He’s pulling up to the tournaments with you sitting on his shoulder clad in a thin bikini. Your looking away from the many lustful looks directed at you, all while Yujiro basks in the jealous looks he receives.
They all look so angry at him, but yet…too intimidated to muster the courage to say anything to him. Yes this was a fine idea.
He’s got you wearing a pretty diamond collar with the letters “Property of Ogre.”
Every time you both return from such fights, it didn’t matter if he came back angry or happy both were valid reasons to fuck you in the entrance your home. After that he would ravage you on any surface in the house.
He was going to get so many babies out of you.
Me reading this ask loool
You must have read my mind anon, I was just musing the other day on how I want to some day take a stab at writing an ABO fic and the Bakiverse would be perfect fodder for it. 😌
But God... Yujiro would be the worst fucking Alpha. That man could track you down from miles away, knowing where you are at all times should he need you. And he has such intricate knowledge on basically every aspect of you and your life that it goes beyond concerning, it's downright invasive. It takes no time at all for him to claim fuck you, giving you no time to really sus him out or get to know him before you've become irrevocably his. He's now your bonded partner, and you are not at all thrilled with that.
When yujiro comes to claim you he attacks you with such a bestial, feral intensity that you are afraid one day your body won't be able to take the abuse he inflicts on it, giving you serious concerns over whether you will survive the mating process. You got lucky the first time, but what about in the future? How many pups does he plan to pump inside of you? The thought keeps you up at night. You don't even want to parent his offspring, let alone be demoted to his breeding stock to be fucked full again and again and again. You would have chosen ANY alpha other than Yujiro, but now this was your lot in life-forced to not only be his mate, but bear his children, creating new versions of this monster to roam the planet. Would they grow up to be like their father, or would you have any hope of raising them to be decent, loving people?
Also, I feel like your body will just constantly be marked up everywhere. His mating bites don't stop at the scent glands, and you usually end up looking like you just left a 12 round boxing match on the losing side instead of a mating session with your alpha. :(
And when you are in heat its the absolute fucking worst. Lusting after Yurjiro, your entire body aching for him to desecrate and destroy you, your insides burning white hot for his touch. Only your alpha can cure you of this all consuming sickness that plagues you, and you turn into a whiny blubbery mess when Yujiro is around, pleading and begging for him to claim you. It's absolutely dreadful how much you yearn for such a barbaric man, and each and every time you are disgusted with how easily you give in to him. You just roll over and become his docile little fuck mate, turned into a wanton, lusting mess from just catching his scent alone. You loath him as much as you need him, and words cannot describe the amount of hate you hold in your heart for the man that turned you into this pathetic shell of who you once were.
#this is some of that good shit#thank you for indulging me anon love you mwah#abo verse#abo baki#yujiro hanma x reader#yujiro x reader#yujiro hanma x y/n#mothresponse#alpha yujiro
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Alas it’s time for me to make a request so can I request yandere fyodor with a pregnant reader that tried escaping him but failed (miserably)
Alright, I'm gonna start making people say if they want Fyodor ones to be dark or fluffy because I could do both
Anyway this one isn't that dark because I just know Fyodor is more protective over a pregnant s/o. He wants a family and doesn't want to hurt the mom, he really wants this and for you all to be happy. Of course it's still dark, it's Yandere obv. It's dark compared to normal things, ig it's just not dark compared to the last Fyodor fic...
Disclaimer: I do not condone anything in this fic, this is purely for entertainment purposes and is never ok in real life (unless it's Chuuya or a bsd guy-)
Warnings: mentions of baby trapping, Yandere themes, mentions of kidnapping, obsessive behavior, anything else that comes in Yandere writing.
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Months of planning gone to waste. Your legs give out as you spot a tall figure at the end of the hall. You have no idea how he found out. You stare up into angry eyes, fear overwhelming your entire body. Fight, flight or freeze kicks in, and unfortunately, you freeze. You can't move your body, not even your eyes dare glance away from the sinister ones before you. The figure approaches you with a silent rage.
"Pl-please... dont..!" you choke out as fat tears roll down your cheeks. You can't say anything else, your throat burns and your headache feels as though you just bashed your head against a wall. He keeps getting closer to you before- Smack! His hand glides across your face, your eyes widden in horror. All he does after is glare daggers at you as you shake and sob, sitting uncomfortably on the floor.
After you've cried so much tears refuse to slip from your eyes any longer and your is headache almost too much to bear, he roughly pulls you up by your wrist, yanking you into the bedroom and locking the door behind him. All that can be heard are your tearless sobs echoing throughout the bedroom. To your surprise, he lays in bed with you and holds you face
"I'm angry with you, but I will not resort to violence as you bear my children. Instead, you will not be allowed of this room ever again unless to cook or clean, and will not be allowed out if I'm not home. You should be grateful, next time you try and escape, I might not be so nice." He glares, pulling you back to his chest and burying his face in your neck and rubbing your stomach.
"I wonder what our cute children will look like, I'm sure you'll be a great mother." Fyodor trails kisses along your neck. You feel slightly more calm, but your hope for escape has been diminished. You didn't want kids with him, Fyodor really is a horrible man...
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Idk what this is, but here it is!
#Fyodor x reader#bsd#bungou stray dogs#bsd x you#bsd fluff#Fyodor#fyodor bsd#fyodor dostoevsky#bsd fyodor#fyodor dostoyevsky bsd#fyolai#bungou stray dogs fyodor#yandere x reader#yandere x you#yandere male#soft yandere#tw yandere#male yandere#Yandere Fyodor#yandere fyodor dostoevsky#yandere fyodor x reader
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not sure if you’re still open for little prompts but i’ve been thinking about buck and tommy having a little argument about something inconsequential before they go off to work, but then one of them gets (mildly) injured on the job. and when they get home the other helps tend to their (little) cuts and bruises. and idk there’s lots of softness and little i’m sorries and we’ll try not to leave mad again because you never know what can happen in their line of work and now we have something important to come home to, etc. 🥹
Thank you for the prompt, it took me a while but here we go ❤️ I'm not sure about this one because angst is not my thing but they're so cute together so I hope it's good enough!
Buck nearly jumps out of his skin as he hears the key turn into the lock. He's been staring at the ceiling for the past two hours or so, losing track of the time and missing the fact that Tommy's shift ended twenty minutes ago.
His stomach churns at the unfamiliarity of all this; he'd normally stand up real quick to go greet his boyfriend with a hug and a soft kiss, but today he remains on the couch, silent and tense. Waiting.
"Evan?" Tommy calls from the hallway, and Buck can picture him toeing off his shoes and throwing the keys in the bowl on the small cabinet near the door. There's a bit of uncertainty laced to his voice, and Buck hates it.
"I'm on the couch!" He says, clearing his throat, and braces himself for– he doesn't even know what.
"Hey," Tommy murmurs, padding into the living room. "Wait, why are you home already?"
Home. They've been living together for a month now, but he's still not used to hearing Tommy say it.
Buck cautiously lifts his head up to meet Tommy's eyes and something breaks in his chest as he notices how Tommy's face crumples in worry as soon as he spots the purplish bruise adorning his cheekbone and the nasty scrapes along his arm.
"What the hell happened? Fuck, Evan, are you okay?" He asks, and instantly sits next to him on the couch, reaching out to grab his chin and angle his face towards him. "And why didn't you call me?"
Tears prickle Buck's eyes as he stares at him, mouth suddenly dry. "I– I tackled a man on the asphalt. I'm fine, just a bruise and some scratches, nothing broken even if my ribs hurt a bit. That's why Bobby sent me home."
Tommy caresses his cheekbone and his gentle touch feels so good that Buck might cry. "You don't look fine. Your face is swelling, and– Why didn't you call me?"
Buck ducks his gaze and shrugs. "I didn't– I didn't know if I could call you. We– We argued this morning and we haven't spoken all day long and–"
"Oh, Evan," Tommy sighs, shaking his head. "Of course you could've called. You should have," he cuts him off softly, cupping the side of his face that's not bruised. "I don't even remember why we argued but having an argument doesn't mean that I don't care about you. Evan, I wasn't avoiding you, I had a gruelling shift and I thought you wanted some space. You– You told me–"
"That I was glad we were both on shift so we wouldn't see each other for a while," Buck supplies, feeling guilty. "I'm sorry, I– I was mad. I didn't mean it. I missed you."
"Me too," Tommy whispers, bringing their foreheads together. "I'm sorry, baby. I'm so sorry."
Buck collapses against him, curling his arms around his neck to pull him close. "I love you. And I'm sorry," he repeats, voice raspy.
"We can't let this happen again," Tommy says, brushing a hand up and down his back.
Buck pulls back to glance at him. "We can't," he agrees. "What about we promise each other to never leave mad again? We don't argue that much, but we both know it will happen again and–"
"And when it happens, we will find a way to clear the air before one of us has to leave for work. And I also don't want us to go to bed angry with each other," Tommy says, reaching for his hand and squeezing.
"Neither do I," Buck admits, and smiles as he holds out his pinky. "Pinky promise?"
Tommy chuckles, hooking his finger to Buck's. "Pinky promise."
#evan buckley#tommy kinard#bucktommy#buck and tommy#tevan#kinley#ficlet#bucktommy fic#accepting prompts#tumblr prompt#anon answered#anon ask#light angst#but mostly fluff#my writing#my fic#allie writes
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Full bloom
Zoro x reader
Warnings: fem reader, swearing, reader is mad at Zoro, SFW
Word count: 1.7k
Summary: In which you overhear Zoro talking badly about you.
Notes: This is also my bird!reader but decided to take another rote with this one idk this is literally just my one piece self insert just wanted to write about them
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
PT2 ➜
You were not the kind to fall slow, you’ll fall completely flat, rough and knowing it’ll probably hurt badly, not even stretching your hands to stop the fall, pouring your whole heart and soul
You’ll fall hard
The moment you saw Zoro Roronoa you knew you were doomed, falling for someone like him was gonna be a huge problem not only because he so happened to be part of the pirate crew you were asked to join, but because you quickly picked up he wasn’t a feelings kind of guy, he was stoic and closed up like a big old book with a even bigger lock
But one day the feelings for the swordsman that had bloomed in your heart were quick to wither and rot, after overhearing a conversation between him a some other members of the crew
“I don’t know why you invited her Luffy” Zoro scoffed “An archer is useless we already have Usopp he’s a good shooter, and her powers are ridiculous”
Your heart sinked at every word that left Zoro’s mouth, after feeling rejected your whole life and thinking you had finally found a place where you belonged, you’re proven wrong once again
“Don’t say that Zoro!” Luffy defended which made you smile a little “She’s not only that! Y/n is this very powerful warrior and turning into a bird is the coolest thing I’ve ever seen!” He sounded excited, at least your captain liked you
Zoro’s silence was like a dagger going through your poor heart, holding your breath in hopes he’ll answer and say that he was wrong, but instead your ears catch Sanji’s mischievous laugh
“Don’t tell me you feel threatened by such a gorgeous lady mosshead”
You were thorn between running away or pull yourself closer to the door to listen, but Zoro made that decision for you after hearing a muffled thud followed by his loud screaming
“Shut up! I’m going to be the world’s greatest swordsman I am never intimidated specifically by some stupid bird you dumb cook!” You stood outside the door, hurt and angry, you thought Zoro would be different from the men in your island, always overlooking you and judging your abilities for reasons you couldn’t control
After this incident you decided to avoid the green haired pirate completely, if he already was hard to talk to, whenever you were tasked to do something together you kept your mouth shut, always training opposite sides of the Merry and answering him coldly. Everyone picked up on your change in behavior, the contrast between how you treated literally everyone else, even strangers, compared to Zoro was palpable, your whole aura shifted at the sight of him
But as upset as you were, you two made perfect fighting partners. Those were the only times when you’ll put your pride aside, after all you were a professional and valued the place Luffy had offered you in the crew, and as much as you hated to admit it, Zoro was an exceptional swordsman.
After some time, the stoic man had warmed up to your presence, he now respected you since he saw you were not only capable but complemented him in battle like no one else in the crew. Everything he knew about you was only things he’ll pick up when you would chat with others or little antics and traits he’ll put attention to, but it was enough to trust you and have a real read into your character
“Why do you always avoid me?” Zoro asked one time while you both walked back to the Going Merry, he had gotten lost again, and you were the assigned Zoro’s compass since you were able to fly around and find him easily, which you didn’t quite enjoy especially now that he decided to instigate whatever had happened between you two
You scoffed “Where did you get that idea from?”
“Everyone notices how mean you are to me and I am not blind” mean, that word lingered like poison in your ears, you were the kind of person to always try be the best version of yourself, being patient and understanding, so hearing Zoro calling you mean felt unfair
“I have my reasons” the green haired pirate noticed your body language change completely, you stiffened and your breath quickened, fist clenching. This wasn’t exactly the direction he wanted this conversation to go but he wasn’t quite good at talking
“How dramatic” he whispered but loud enough so you’ll hear him, already giving up in a peaceful chat
You stopped in your tracks anger boiling up and reaching your tongue immediately “Oh fuck off” Zoro’s eyes widened, he had never heard you swear let alone seen you this angry before
“You can go ahead and call me whatever you want, but you don’t know me Zoro” there you stood in front of this man that doubled you in size, eyes that froze him in place, your face was red with fury and the tension could be seen from a mile away. The swordsman backed up slowly, was he feeling threatened?
“But if you did, you’ll know I know better than to talk shit behind my crewmates back” in a swift move you morphed into your bird form, not wanting to continue the conversation and soared the skies, high enough so he could still follow you back
No one had ever stood up to Zoro that way before, he silently walked under you a million thoughts going through his head at once, what did you meant about talking shit about another crewmate? I mean of course he would talk shit but nothing ever serious, but again, how could you know if he barely even said hi to you?, a little guilt settled on him, maybe he was the mean one after all
Curiosity tickled him as his mouth opened and without thinking twice he screamed your name in hopes you’ll fly back down, after a little thinking you did, perching on a nearby tree before chirping at him
“Can you like… not… be a bird?” You made what it seemed to be an angry sound before morphing back to your original form while soaring down, landing in front of him arms crossed brows furrowed
“I don’t talk to assholes” you had always been the bigger person your whole life, so acting petty maybe wasn’t your style but really you didn’t cared enough what Zoro would think of you, after all you still seemed to think he viewed you as useless
“You still haven’t answered my question” his tone shifted, you had started to annoy him, he hated people that aren’t straightforward “I don’t know you you’re right, but maybe if you allowed me to we wouldn’t be here in the first place”
“I know you didn’t wanted me in the strawhats” you blurted out, knowing he wouldn’t drop the matter before arriving back to the ship and wanted to avoid everyone hearing you “You think I’m ridiculous and useless” that came out way shakier than you wanted to, finally showing how hurt you actually felt “My whole life I’ve been underestimated, I’m a woman and my powers are always taken as a joke, my abilities never recognized just because of how I look and who I am, when I joined you guys I thought I could leave that behind…”
The swordsman felt a knot forming on his throat, feeling absolutely unequipped for this situation and mostly, guilty, guilty he had ever made you feel something remotely close to this. It was true, when you first joined he didn’t quite agreed on Luffys decision but after all he was the captain, but you had proven him wrong showing your hard work and talents. For a moment you reminded him of someone he had cared for long ago, which made this whole fiasco even worse, feeling terrible he couldn’t even mutter a response, only standing before you absolutely bare.
“I am not asking you to be my best friend in the world, just for respect and some trust, at least the same one you give everyone else” ouch, your words as soft as they left your lips felt sharp, cutting onto Zoro’s ears.
You search his features for a reaction, an expression, anything, but he was unreadable still a stranger to you. Regret simmered in your gut, maybe should’ve kept your thoughts to yourself
Before you could walk away any further from him, Zoro gripped your wrist forcing you to stay and look back at him
“I actually think you’re pretty skilled for a bird” he offered you a small lopsided smile to try and freshen the mood which you were thankful for “You’re a fearless fighter, and more capable than others in the crew, If I ever made you think any different I apologize”
A breath you didn’t know you were holding escaped your lips, grateful he wasn’t actually an ass like you had painted him to be
“You gotta watch your mouth Roronoa” you smirked back “Could’ve lost your perfect fighting partner” you pulled yourself out of his grip and walked towards the Merry
Zoros laugh ringed in your ears, something you never thought you’ll hear, at least between only you two “This means you’ll stop training by yourself and finally join me? Or are you too scared?”
A heavy weight lifted from swordsman’s shoulders, finally able to bond with you and solving the never ending mystery the haunted him because contrary to your beliefs, he always noticed the distance you drew between you and him, it ate him alive. But now, you could finally see yourselves in your true colors, enjoy your time together and grow closer
“Yeah like you scare me” you pushed him playfully a smile tugging on your lips “If you wanted to train with me so bad should’ve just asked”
Zoro rolled his eyes “Don’t get too cocky birdie, I could destroy you in a sparring session anytime”
Slowly but surely, the swordsman had once again found his way into your heart, the garden that once withered grew strong once again, and little did you knew that you had also made love bloom in his, but that was a problem to deal with another time
˚ʚ♡ɞ˚
Gonna most likely make this a series ☝🏻 like always request are open and feel free to correct me English is not my first language
#one piece#fanfic#one piece x y/n#one piece x reader#one piece fluff#one piece x you#one piece x oc#zoro roronoa x you#zoro x y/n#zoro x you#zoro roronoa x reader#one piece roronoa zoro#roronoa zoro x reader#zoro x reader#one piece zoro#zoro#roronoa zoro#zoro imagine#zoro roronoa x y/n#zoro roronoa#one piece imagine#writting#romance#one piece oc
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In the mood for...
May 31st
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1. A) Hi I'm looking for fics where Wei Wuxian actually gets angry after lan Wangji r-words (rapes) him.
B) ITMF fics where wwx and lz fight over their kid(s) and wwx is trying to stop lz from taking the kid(s) away @thehappyyellow (In the future please use the full word or 'non-con' for clarity and for possible phrase filtering ~Mod L)
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2. So I saw a reel on insta the other day where someone was like: bloodbenders on a battlefield, controlling corpses. And my thoughts immediately went to an untamed/avatar the last airbender fusion? Firebending wen, energy bending removing "golden core equivalents", water bender &/or energy bender wwx, nonbender jyl...jin= n water tribe, Jiang south. Nie=earthbenders, lan=airbenders. Idk. Lost avatar. Hunting spirits to bond with to get more bending/be more powerful. Big wars in both, lots options
Avatar: The Untamed Waterbender by KouriArashi (T, 181k, wangxian, JC/WQ, JC & WWX & JYL, Avatar fusion, action/adventure, families of choice, light angst, developing relationship, hurt/comfort, pining)
Brightly Burning by Netrixie (Not Rated, 11k, WangXian, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, No Yin Iron, Touch-Starved, Tiny Angst, Slow Burn, Pre-Relationship, LXC is a good big bro, Element control, [PODFIC] Brightly Burning by Netrixie by kealdrakemna)
Heart of the River by meyari (T, 23k, XuanLi, JYL/MM/WQ, WangXian, ChengQing, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, No Yīn Iron (The Untamed TV), fire manipulation, Water Manipulation, Drowning, War, major character death (no one we care about), most people live / some people die, BAMF JYL)
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3. Hi! For itmf I am looking for fics where WWX and LWJ are together (or confess, or kiss, or something romantic happens), then they split up for a long time, and then get back together. Preferably canon era (not modern). I would love to read about their time apart as well as their reunion, if any fics like this can be found! Thanks, everyone! xoxo
there's no promised goodbye here by Yuisaki (T, 54k, WangXian, WWX & WN, JC & WWX, WWX/OCs, Modern, Post-Break Up, Roommates, Domestic Fluff, Drunken Shenanigans, Sharing a Bed, Cuddling & Snuggling, Sharing Clothes, Drinking, Fluff and Angst, Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending, Getting Back Together, Ensemble Cast,bUnreliable Narrator,bCW IN BEGINNING NOTES)
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4. Do you know any daemon au where the daemon isn't tied to the golden core? (because losing his GC is already a lot so losing also his daemon would be a real torture for both JC and WWX)
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5. Do you know any fics where we have both wangxian and Mingjue/Xichen? Not in a modern au but in the canon or in a canon divergeance/time-travel/etc
A Future Family In A Broken Past by Hauntcats (T, 121k, wangxian, time travel, not jiang friendly)
🧡 All will be well when the day is done by abCEE (T, 76k, wangxian, time travel, canon divergence, fix it, not YZY friendly, not Jiang friendly, butterfly effect, no sunshot, madam lan lives, lan WWX)
🔒 in the shadow of moonlit flowers by Reverie (cl410) (T, 56k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, cloud recesses, NHS & LWJ friendship, developing relationship, LWJ pov, minor injuries, autistic LWJ, implied/referenced child abuse, aka YZY warning, genius WWX, light angst, hurt/comfort, WWX protection squad)
No Paths Are Bound by stiltonbasket (G, 3k, WangXian, NieLan, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, LQR is a good uncle, and also a good man, shufu saves the world, Background Relationships, Introspection, Happy Ending, title shamelessly stolen from tian guan ci fu, mild warning for implied nc re: madam lan)
Blooming in white by luckymoonly (T, 38k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, MM/WQ, NMJ/LXC, NHS/JC, Canon Divergence, Mpreg, Getting Together, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, hidden pregnancy, Mutual Pining, Drama, Misunderstandings, Everyone Lives AU, Miscommunication, WWX and NHS are BFF, matchmaker NHS, Fix-It)
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6. Hello! Could you lovely folks recommend me fics where Lan Wangji just about launches himself at Wei Wuxian at the Banquet after WWX drinks the cup Jin Zixun tried to force Lan Wangji to drink? Please? @kaitou-cure-prism12
My request was about the horny not about LWJ being worried or terrified.
Give Me One Good Honest Kiss by thunderwear (T, 1k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, First Kiss, horny LWJ agenda, LXC is suffering in LQR's name, [PODFIC] Give Me One Good Honest Kiss by thunderwear) If 6 wanted Lan Wangji launching himself at Wei Wuxian because he thinks it's hot that he drank the wine (rather than out of fear or concern), then Give Me One Good Honest Kiss
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7. hey admins! itmf more fics like 'transcend' by covalentbonds where people react to wwx og body or just his beauty in general. extra bonus where lwj gets jealous. thank you <3
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8. Hi!! I am in the mood for a fic where Wei Wuxian dies but he hangs around as a ghost or raised corpse. I would love it if he is still a very active/central character to the fic (just, ya know, dead). Thank you!
asymptotic by chinxe (T, 26k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Misunderstandings, Pining, for 20+ years as per the course with lwj)
one good thing by Yuu_chi (T, 26k, WangXian, Modern, Ghost WWX, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, I swear there really is a happy ending, And an alarming amount of rabbits)
Friends, Sabers, and Other Essentials for Solving a Conspiracy by MeridianGrimm (T, 50k, NHS & WWX, LWJ & NHS, WangXian, Humor, Friendship, Love, Mystery, Canon Divergence, Smart NHS, WWX doesn't stay dead, LWJ gets a new friend, Happy Ending, Fix-It, To be clear the WangXian is mostly background, This fic is about friendship)
🧡 Vow by draechaeli (E, 216k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, BeliefGod!WWX, Adoption but WWX birthed them all, Pregnancy Kink, Mpreg, minor male lactation, Consensual Non-Consent, Light Bondage, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con because JGS, Mentions Canon Typical Incest, Canon Typical Violence)
Death of a Ghost by Gotcocomilk (E, 107k, Family bonding, Fluff, Angst, Parental WWX, BAMF WWX, Hurt/Comfort, Ghost sex)
Ghost of Mine by SasukiMimochi (E, 139k, WIP, LSZ & WWX, WangXian, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Temporary Character Death, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Supernatural Elements, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-First Siege of the Burial Mounds, Romance, Domestic Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Alternate Canon) This one Will make you cry and it’s mainly in WWX’s pov. (It’s also got Amazing art)
🔒 The Time Traveler's Soul by mondengel (Not Rated, 2k, WangXian, Time Travel, 🔒[PODFIC] The Time Traveler's Soul by flamingwell) WWX does die and come back as a ghost in this, but he comes back pre-canon because of time travel. Hopefully this still fits what OP is asking for!
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9. Hii. So basically right now I'm looking for some fics that can basically be anything but it's has to have a scene or scenes of the Jiang sibs being jealous. Whether they are jealous of Wei Ying with the Lans or him with the Wens. I just want them to have a scene or scene with them going "he's supposed to be here not there" etc. @thatperson0-0
💖 Hoards and treasures by apathyinreverie (T, 21k, WangXian, Siblings, Family, not particularly Jiang friendly, YZY Bashing, slightly darker Gusu Lans, LXC being the best brother, Some manipulation, But with the best of intentions, and not between wangxian, Dragon LWJ, Fox WWX, Smitten LWJ, Fluff, perfect happiness, adorable WWX, Romance, Some worldbuilding, courting)
The Price of a Golden Core by AshayaTReldai (M, 9k, WangXian, Angst, Tension, Aggression, JC pays the price for his choices, demanding letters, JC is a Brat, Supportive Lan Brothers, WWX deserves the best, Life Debt, Sad Ending Sad Ending for JC)
Like stones on an unseen board by Vir_Abelasan (Not Rated, 11k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dark LWJ, Older LWJ, Teacher LWJ, dark twin jades, Age Difference, Manipulation, Protective LWJ, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Corporal Punishment, Relatively canon-typical abusive Jiangs, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Not Jiang Clan Friendly)
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10. Hello hi? I want to know if there’s a fanfic where the juniors get to meet with past family (like sizhui to meet head disciple Wei wuxian, or Jin Rulan to meet his young parents) and such ? Or even just all of them meeting the past in general, anything associated with the idea
Time, Time, Time by skeletonofaplant (G, 44k, WangXian, JYL/JZX, LSZ & WWX, JYL & JZX & JL, LSZ & LJY, Time Travel Fix-It, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Identity Porn, Identity Reveal, Probably gonna definitely be some, Angst, But also, Fluff, Junior Quartet Dynamics, Time Travelling Junior Ensemble, Junior Ensemble Shenanigans, Humor) Has the Junior Quartet finding themselves in the past & meeting various characters
River Stones by littlesystems (M, 18k, WangXian, Time Travel, Post-Canon, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Junior Quartet, Oblivious WWX, Suffering LWJ, LJY having the time of his life, Voyeurism) CRSA-era WWX & LWJ end up in the future & interact with the Juniors while there
A Room Full of Dead People by BurningBlueDiamond (T, 10k, WangXian, Time Travel, Fix-It, but not really, Canon Divergence, Conference in Qinghe but canonically they stay in Gusu, strangely fluffy, POV Outsider)
❤️ Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)
Time Travel, Obviously by nirejseki (Not Rated, 1k, Time Travel, Crack) feature the Junior Quartet time traveling.
The Trouble with Talismans: a Treatise on Time-Travel by Young Master Lan Xiaohui (Age 6) by stiltonbasket (G, 26k, wangxian, Time Travel, Parenthood, Developing Relationship, Getting Together, Happy ending, Accidental Baby Acquisition)
How to get anxiety from time trave and not mess up (by fall out boy) by SerlinaBlack (T, 5k WangXian, Time Travel, Post-Canon, Fluff, Family Fluff, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Pining LWJ, Pining WWX, WWX in WWX's Body, Slightly, Canon JC, he isn't there much, like two lines mentioned at tops, but JC fans might jot like it) feature Lan Sizhui and sibs meeting past Lan Wangji and others.
Song of Joy and Regrets by HelloKitten (Not Rated, 134k, wangxian, hualian, WIP, TGCF, Angst, Self-Harm, Child Abuse, characters watching their series, Time Travel Fix-it)
Spring Again by Saori (M, 646k, JL & LJY & LSZ, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Canon Divergence, Canon Era, Time Travel, Canon-Typical Violence, CQL Canon Complaint, Spoilers, Platonic Relationships, Friendship, Action/Adventure, Violence, Investigations, Mystery, Punishment, Angst, War, Canonical Character Death, Slow Build, Burial Mounds, Sunshot Campaign, Implied/Referenced Torture, Politics)
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11. Hi!! is there any modern au fics where wwx gets a boyfriend or a hickey or something and LWJ gets jealous @yesibest
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12. itmf wangxian pride and prejudice au??
only the deepest love by occultings (microcomets) (T, 40k, WangXian, Pride and Prejudice Fusion, Canon Divergence, Jane Austen Fusion, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, Epistolary, (briefly), Everyone Lives, Podfic Available)
Half Agony, Half Hope by queenklu (T, 105k, WangXian, LXC/JGY, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, LXC/NMJ, Jane Austen Fusion, persuasion au, Pining, Broken Engagement, Secrets, Espionage, Child Injury, Terrible Parents (YZY & JFM), Past Child Neglect)
Clans and Cultivation by ChalionKat (G, 86k, WangXian, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, SL/XXC, WIP, Regency AU, Pride and Prejudice Fusion, Yes we did just rewrite P&P with Untamed characters, although the plot diverges more later, spelling mistakes are deliberate because Austen)
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13. for the next itmf, im craving some really good worldbuilding, im obsessed when the little details of everyday life are explored, be it on cultivation (when they aknowledge that wwx created a wholenew school of cultivation when he started gui dao), architecture, cuisine, clothing, etc.
it can even be a whole new au, that is not in the canon setting but has at least some supernatural going on, and follows book canon and characterization.
🧡🔒Truth Will Out (when caught on video) - End_OTW_Racism! by KizuKatana (E, 179k, wangxian, WN & WWX & WQ, graphic depictions of violence, modern cultivation, canon divergence, YZY abuses WWX , caught on camera, partial core removal, WWX kicked out of Jiang sect, livestreamer WWX, meet ugly, dual cultivation, smut, no war)
🧡 The Shade of Old Trees by Kryal (T, 363k, WangXian, Ridiculously Long Notes, History, Canon Divergence, Modern AU, Slow Burn, Worldbuilding, Slow Life, Action/Adventure, Magic Returns, BAMF WWX)
when the sun goes out by travelingneuritis (E, 174k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, tech cultivation, Necromancy, Angst with a Happy Ending, insecurity around adoption, Dad WWX, dad LWJ, Grief/Mourning, Mistaken Identity, Mood Whiplash, Body Swap, sex tears, Falling In Love, Consensual Somnophilia, apocalypse (localized), Smut, unrealistic sexual stamina, Flashbacks, Time Skips, Illustrations, Horror, Canon Temporary Character Death, Cultivation Sect Politics)
🔒 he’s worth it, for every bead in his hair by overgrownruins (E, 74k, WangXian, LXC/NMJ, minor NMJ/WWX, MBJ/SQH, A Companion to Wolves AU, Minor Character Death, Animal Death, Wolves, Attempted Sexual Assault, Canon-Typical Violence, Explicit Sexual Content, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Outdoor Sex, Period-Typical Homophobia, Period-Typical SexismNordic Setting, References to Norse Religion & Lore, Minor Breeding Kink, you know how it is with wangxian)
sweet chaos by eachandeverydimension (G, 86k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Romance, Light Angst, Falling In Love, Different First Meeting, Qīnghéng-jūn’s A+ Parenting, Night Hunts, Chinese Language, Good Sibling LXC, Good Sibling JYL, POV LWJ, Getting Together, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Chinese Culture, Slow Burn, No Homophobia AU) sweet chaos has lots of references to culture and daily life
Grave dirt by esama (T, 92k, wangxian, canon divergence, necromancy, demonic cultivation, farming, found family, pre-slash, politics, Fix-it of sorts, yilingwei sect au) and Grave dirt for Wei Wuxian creating a sect based on demonic cultivation.
transmuter by WithLoweredVoices (Not rated, 113k, wangxian, Modern with Magic, Magical Realism, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending) an incredible and underrated modern with magic (but not cultivation)
As You Like It by cosmicmilktea (T, 8k, WangXian, JC & WWX, LXC & WWX, Chief Cultivator LWJ, Food as a Metaphor for Love, Tea, Finding out preferences, Yes LWJ likes his WWX but what else does he like?, Childhood Memories, Yunmeng trio feels, child rearing, This is very indulgent tho like all I want is for LWJ to be pampered, Post-Canon, Very Very Light Angst, Fluff)
A Mother's Love by FirefliesNLightningBugs (M, 170k, WangXian, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, Mostly combo of the Untamed and MoDaoZuShi timelines, Unreliable Narrator, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Happy Ending, Miscommunication, Family Feels, Found Family, PTSD, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Political Intrigue, Mystery, POV Multiple, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Strong Female Characters, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Good Brother In Law JZX, Genderbent WWX, Intersex WWX, not a/b/o, POV Original Character, Expanded Universe, Unplanned Pregnancy, Golden Core Reveal, WWX Has No Golden Core, Cultivation Sect Politics, Bisexual WWX, YLLZ WWX, Yunmeng Shuangjie, Pining WangXian, Parent-Child Relationship, Getting Together, Protective Yúnmèng Jiāng Sect, MXY Lives) has a lot of worldbuilding. At one point author comes up with a mph for sword flight and how it compares to other types of travel, and wwx gui dao is a key point
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14. Itmf a ff similar to concord by deastar with wwx slowly getting depressed after marrying to the Lan clan, the more gut wrenching the better, thanks 💕
a light hidden and singing by occultings (microcomets) (E, 48k, wangxian, arranged marriage, pining, getting together, slow burn, misunderstandings, miscommunication, blood & injury, happy ending, smut)
Mourning Robes by Starlight1395 (T, 17k, wangxian, No Sunshot Campaign, Arranged Marriage AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Depression, dissociating, Mild Blood, Fluff, juniors idolizing WWX like he deserves, slowburn between WWX and Cloud Recesses, Hinted smut, Jingyi has a CRUSH, Supportive JC, Mojo’s Post) 14 is nearly identical to request 14 on the May 26th ITMF. These are the ones I suggested for that post: a light hidden and singing and Mourning Robes but maybe today's poster is looking for more in the same vein?
Betrothed by Dixielis (E, 10k, WangXian, A/B/O Dynamics, Hybrids, Fox WWX, Dragon LWJ, Arranged Marriage, Omega WWX, Alpha LWJ, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Miscommunication, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Mildly Dubious Consent, Mpreg, Unplanned Pregnancy)
To Bring You Back Within My Reach by ablaiseofglory (M, 20k, WIP, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Angst with a Happy Ending, No dubious consent, Adopted Children, Kid Fic, A/B/O Dynamics, omega wwx, Alpha LWJ, Misunderstandings) I think it's abandoned but it's one of my favourite wips.
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15. Hello! ITMF favorite canon-era (not modern) Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen fics? Or, WangXian fics where the Song Lan and Xiao Xingchen feature prominently? Thank you!!
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16. In the mood for: Wei Wuxian living his best life as Lan Wangji’s trophy husband being spoiled every single day
Thank you in advance I really appreciate all the suggestions you usually deliver everyone 😘 @kanrax-blog
🔒 The Second Jade of Lan's late but incendiary sexual awakening by KizuKatana (E, 41k, wangxian, First Time, LWJ's Horny Grip, LWJ does not know what hit him, and yet somehow he still realizes it before WWX, canon wangxian dynamics, college AU, LWJ starts off annoyed at WWX, But quickly discovers both his competency kink and a caretaking kink, Genius WWX)
🔒To Make Him a Perfect Bride by Hinu (E, 139k, WangXian, Modern AU, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Feminization, Crossdressing, Marriage Proposal, Romantic Comedy, Meet the Family, Homophobia, Cultural Differences, Discrimination, Wealth kink, Potentially Unhealthy Beauty Standards, Rich LWJ, Power Bottom WWX, Sugar Daddy LWJ, Plot With Porn, Mild Kink, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Coming Out, Implied Canon-Typical Child Abuse, Phone Sex in Public, Sexual Harassment, competent wwx, Financial Domination, Sexual Roleplay, Light BDSM, WWX's dog phobia, Submissive LWJ, Blood, Smoking, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, WWX's dissociative panic attacks in later chapters, Gay LWJ, Protective LWJ, Weddings, Wedding Planning, Secret Relationship, Genderqueer WWX, BAMF NHS, Gay WWX, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, fem! WWX is A-Jingyi's and A-Yuan's sexual awakening, Office Sex, Airplane Sex, Happy Ending, Class Differences, Crazy Rich Asians Fusion) So Full Of Love (Wouldn’t Know Where to Start) by witchupbitch (M, 63k, WIP, WangXian, Best Friends, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Possessive LWJ, Protective LWJ, Blood and Violence, Idiots in Love, Humor, Mafia AU, Modern AU, Flirting, shameless WWX, Confident WWX, Explicit Language, Mutual Sexual Tension, dark LWJ, Dark WWX, Exhibitionism Sex, Possessive Behavior, Unhealthy Relationships, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings)
~*~
17. For the next itmf, does anyone have any good WWX harem or happy poly fics? Like the Jades Lotus where WWX was with both jades and they were all happy and sweet? Please and ty!!
With This Shadowed Blade by Anonymous (M, 134k, WWX/LXC/LWJ/NMJ/NHS, WIP, WWX has a romantic harem, WWX Gets a Hug, Slow Burn, Dragon LWJ, Dragon WWX , WWX is a magical dragon, Polyamory, Angst with a Happy Ending, WWX is Loved, Bad Parent YZY, Creature Inheritance, Creature Fic, Dragel Dynamics, Dragel fic, WWX Needs a Hug, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Past Child Abuse) might like, it’s WWX with LWJ/LXC/NMJ/NHS and has some good fluffy moments but is a little angsty too and is not very jiang friendly but has lots of worldbuilding and everyone’s a dragon
We can fix that by Spindoctor (E, 73k, WWX/LWJ/NMJ, WIP, Threesome - M/M/M, NMJ Lives, Arranged Marriage, Oral Sex,bAnal Sex,bCock Warming, Caretaking, Light BDSM, Thigh jobs, Everyone Loves WWX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Starvation, Canon-Typical Violence, Starvation recovery, PTSD, PTSD RECOVERY, Suicidal Ideation, Scars, Discussion of Surgery, mild body horror, discussion of starvation, body talk, Nightmares, screaming ghosts, WWX's canonical cnc kink, cnc fantasies, Light Bondage, tender fucking, instead of talking about feelings, Slow Burn, JYL Lives, BAMF JYL, Erectile Dysfunction, Weight Gain,bChapter Specific Tags in Beginning Notes) NMJ/LWJ/WWX, a lot of fluff and healing. Might have a conflict in the future but it's ongoing and currently there's not any mention of future conflict I can remember
~*~
If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***
#wangxian#mdzs#wangxian fic recs#i'm in the mood for a fic#the untamed#wangxian fic search#wangxianficfinder#long post
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WRITE MORE STAN SMUT PLSSS I BEG
PEOPLE ARE SIMPINH FOR THIS MF HOLY- I DIDNT THINK I WROTE HIM THAT FUCKING GOOD- OKAY OKAY LEMME JUST.. LEMME JUST WHIP IT UP REAL QUICK FOR EVERYONE.
I think I may also start linking songs that i listen to while writing these.
Also for some reason ya’ll are flooding my inbox with this man.. is scary idk what I did to make ya’ll go FERAL BUT TAKE THIS- PLEASE DONT HURT ME
┌── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┐
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙈𝙀, 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙈𝙀, 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙈𝙀.
𝙎𝙩𝙖𝙣 𝙢𝙖𝙧𝙨𝙝 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ₊ ⊹
𝙀𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙗𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙝𝙚𝙙 𝙧𝙚𝙡𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙥‧₊˚✩彡
𝙂𝙚𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧 𝙣𝙚𝙪𝙩𝙧𝙖𝙡 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧𐙚
𝘾𝙪𝙧𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙡𝙮 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙮𝙞𝙣𝙜;
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: NSFW/SMUT. Some aggression. MDNI
└── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──┘
𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙉’𝙎 hand gripped the red solo cup. In this moment he wasn’t exactly sure if he should have been angry at you or the jackass who thought it right to walk up to you the way he did. His fingers practically ripped the cup apart whilst his eyes tore the guy apart instead. He was seeing red, fighting every part of him to not walk up and beat him to a god damn pulp.
“Careful there Stan, you might even hurt your poor wittle finger”
Cartman patted Stan’s shoulder, laughing at his own stupid joke. When Stan didn’t say anything he only looked to the side for a moment, smile fading. It didn’t take him long to see where the issue was. He groaned rolling his eyes and looking up to the somewhat taller boy.
“What. Are you jealous?”
Stan stared daggers at cartman who whipped his head back, holding his stomach in a fit of laughter
“You look.. you look so fucking stupid jealous, stop.. please stop I can’t breathe, you’re killing me here”
“Shut. The fuck. Up. Or I’ll have you on the god floor next to him”
Stanley spat back, slamming the plastic cup down onto the table of cartman’s house. Cartman put his hands up in Defense watching him storm off.
“Jesus, tough god damn crowd”
˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚
Well. This is how you ended up in your predicament. Sprawled out on Stan’s bed, door locked, clothes thrown here and there, his shirt on the bed beside you, his hands in the progress of taking off his pants.
“Stan please I honestly didn’t think he was trying to flirt, he- he walked up to me and just.. he wouldn’t stop talking, baby you have to listen to me-“
He ignored you. He fucking ignored you. Stanley god damn marsh was good at keeping that stupid annoyed look on his face. Was good at staying mad at you, mastered it even, he could be a fucking prick when he wanted to keeping up the act just to piss you off, to turn it all around on you until you apologized.
“I don’t care.”
“Stan, you have to believe-“
“Fucking Christ.”
He’s in such a rush to pull down his pants, yours included. The poorly dyed blonde tossed them both to the side before letting his tongue drag up your stomach, stoping just below your jaw to bite at the soft spots on your skin, his hands roamed wildly, his touch like fire against the cold skin your nerves produced. His hand finds its spot between your legs, where it always did.. like habit, he worked on you like he knows just how to take care of you. And oh god he did. He knows what felt good, he knew what made your back arch and eyes squeeze tightly shut, what made your silly little mind shut off. He knew what made you twist the way you do.. he knew what made you spew out his name. His lips met your own, kissing with such aggression. His point was clear he was pissed off. He didn’t like people touching you in ways that only he could, he didn’t like people getting to close to what was his.
“If you don’t be quiet I swear to fucking god”
Stan’s hand had been placed on your mouth for the last 15 minutes just to keep you silent but when it doesn’t work he’s about to lose his god damn mind. He stops moving his hips, grabbing onto you and pulling out so he can flip you over.
“Ass up.”
“What..?”
“Don’t make me repeat myself. You heard me”
Within an instant you were ass up and face down. His warm hands caressed at your hips, placing kisses to your back before finding his way back into you. The feeling of you around him earned you a satisfied moan, his teeth chewing down onto his bottom lip to help him focus on moving his hips back and forth in a rhythmic pace. The sound of his skin against yours echoed throughout his room, his fingers finding their way to your mouth. He picked up his pace, his moans practically coming out as growls. He couldn’t stop. He couldn’t find any will to stop he needed you to know how much he needed you. How it was him you were with, who you should be with. He wanted to show you how much he can love you. How much he can give you. And fuck was he giving it to you. He grit his teeth to hold back the endless moans he had bottled up, the pleasurable cries he so badly wanted to let out but would wake up his Parents by doing so.
“Tell me you love me~”
Your eyes widened, hands gripping onto the sheets of his bed, his fingers slipped out of your mouth to give your ass a harsh slap.
“Please Baby, tell me, tell me you love me. Tell me you’re mine. You’re mine”
Stan’s pace was quicker then it was before. You tried so hard to speak but all that came out were incoherent words, was nonsense, you were so brain dead, so god damn drained from how much he’d been going. He was becoming desperate. Stan’s hands gripped onto your hips harder, pushing you back onto him each time he slammed back in.
“M’so good, it’s so good, damn good”
His hands slid up your sides, finding himself wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his face into shoulder. His new angle was just enough to make him almost cum on the spot. Stan’s jaw was slack, breathing heavily. He stopped his pace, earning a whine out of you.
“If I .. I just.. if I keep going like this m’gonna cum..”
“But I want you too~.. for me.. please St-Stan”
“Oh my goddd”
Stan whimpered out pathetically at the way your hips rocked back onto him, his teeth sinking into your neck to keep himself quiet whilst your movements were like torture against his already sensitive length. Once he thought he was able to control himself, he pumped into you at his stupid fucking ungodly pace, he found his stomach knotting, his head hanging low as he was now sat back up, hands gripping your wrists to place them behind your back. He was gonna cum, he was so damn close, he wanted to fill you so badly, to have you leaking because of him. To mark you as Stan’s. And Stan’s alone.
“M’mgonna cum, want it all in you, m’gonna fill you up so fuckin good”
His words are mumbles, ones your brain aren’t catching in this moment all you wanted was for him to be deep.. so deep.. you’re thoughts are cut short when he hits that one sensitive spot, that one spot he’s come to be so familiar with. You try desperately to wiggle out of his lock on your hands but he only grips harder growling.
“If you keep moving I swear to fucking god I’ll have you over my god damn knees. Keep still.”
Stan spoke in a ruthless tone, deep. One you only ever hear when he’s pissed off.. jealous even. His grip kept tightening, leaning down to watch your face twist and contort, at the this point you’d think his hips would’ve been sore, red. They were indeed red and sore but he wasn’t stopping until he had you marked, and it wasn’t long before he did.
“Just stay quiet. I’m right there, just.. fucking hell just stay like that, lemme cum in you please let me, let me.. It’s never felt like this before”
He was speaking in broken breaths, whispering to you.. he was close.. he was right there, right at the rattling end of it all. Stan turned your head enough to place his lips onto yours, right in time for his body to give one last deep thrust, his load stringing out for what felt like forever. His grip to keep you in spot was enough to leave markings, soft purple spots forming under his fingertips. He continued to rest on your shoulder, eyes squeezed shut whilst his body twitched every so often. When he pulled out his lips held back wild moans, desperate to feel you again.
“Jesus fucking Christ..”
He paused, his chest rising and falling rapidly.
“are you okay?”
Stan rubbed the small of your back, collapsing back down onto the bed next to you. He watched while you tiredly shuffled closely nodding your head against him.
“Don’t go falling asleep on me just yet, I need to get you cleaned up”
His fingers laced through your hair, lips mumbling against your forehead. He carefully sat up finding a pair of sweats to throw on. Before he made his way to the bathroom across from his room his looked back at you, your dopey smile, half lidded eyes and the work he made of you.
He admired it. Was.. proud of it even. Watching you leak him out.
Maybe making Stan jealous wasn’t so horrible.
#south park x reader#south park x y/n#south park x you#south park fanfiction#stan marsh x y/n#stan marsh x you#stan marsh x reader#stan marsh#stan marsh sp#stan marsh south park#dolly’s fics
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I remember that the first dsmp art of yours that I ever saw was an alliumduo comic of ranboo realizing that he trapped tommy in the prison... it was so haunting and was the first fancontent of the lore that made me go THIS IS AWESOME!! you definitely were one of the artists that made the dsmp feel like there was so much more to it and made me so much more invested 💕💕💕
I remembered this after seeing your new allium duo fanart, and i guess I wanted to ask what your thoughts on alliumduo nowadays are, compared to back when you made that comic, if u want to share. Lots of love! 💖
THANK YOUUU I still rly like that comic tbh .. as for my current day thoughts on c!alliumduo, I think they had so much potential as two teenagers traumatized by the same man but in different ways. C!tommy feeling protective of c!Ranboo when c!wilbur started to sink his hooks in vs. c!Ranboo yelling at c!sam for leaving him in the prison with c!dream…… idk I have a lot of love in my heart for their unspoken solidarity. I also think ranboo The Guy (despite all the many many many many issues with his characters’ story and overall execution) is so aware of the horrors c!tommy went thru (the whole “I think Tommy is just Scared” thing). So this manifests in his character as sympathy for c!Tommy’s helplessness ….. c!Ranboo and c!tommy being so fearful but in starkly contrasting ways (prone to isolation vs prone to angry outbursts) and all the shit with c!clingy vs. c!bee…….. still coming out of it with strong mutual affection and assurance … idk. It feels hopeful in the realistic, messy way. The way that says “someone somewhere will understand you, in spite of the hurdles it takes to let them in.”
Also… C!ranboo helping c!dream in enderwalk to keep c!Tommy in the cell resulting in a canon death, vs c!tommy unknowingly helping c!wilbur essentially orchestrate a canon death for c!ranboo in ho16. They both have been used as tools in the machinations of their respective deaths. C!tommy doesn’t know about enderwalk. C!ranboo doesn’t know the intricacies of c!wilbur and c!dreams deep hooks in c!tommy. I mourn the fact that this was never addressed because i know in my soul that they would have understood each other in a more overt way had they talked about it. C!tommy’s strong loyalty and compassion and c!ranboos nurturing nature outweigh their grief.
I think it would have been beautiful to see victims who hurt each other in the thick of their abuse find solidarity in forgiveness. Not forgiveness for what happened to them, but for each other’s role as a puppet to the real perpetrators of their trauma. It would have helped get the story back on the trajectory of murdering c!dream and casting out c!wilbur, because if they had discussed things with each other and worked through their complex feelings, I KNOW they could have found the words to describe what they went through, and then hopefully take initiative to rally up enough support to take c!d and c!wil down. Sigh…… oh well. Maybe one day I’ll work on another comic about them. I still think it’s a story worth telling.
(Note: I used to see a lot of people use the phrase “trauma bond” to describe c!allium or c!clingy … while I understand what you want it to mean, this is an incorrect way to use this term. A trauma bond is formed between the abused and the abuser. Please read more about it here if you are confused! I really don’t want to see this term misused anymore. It’s very uncomfortable >_<)
#dsmp#c!alliumduo#I don’t think I’m very coherent in this one#i just woke up lol#but I wanted to get this out bc I been thinking abt them#a LOT lately#abuse mention
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I miss what you’d do to me
Keegan P. Russ x Reader
Content Warnings: angry man idk
Might be a little messy cause the original draft with this fic got deleted yesterday and suddenly came up on my blog again so I’m just trying to fit some of it into what I’ve rewritten.
He’s a piece of shit in this, oops. (not really tbh) 1k+ words
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
Keegan’s hands force the glass of water out of your grip, slamming it down on the kitchen counter. “I’m trying to talk this out, can you just fucking listen to me?!” He yells, hands waving around him to try and further express his anger.
He’s scary like this. You’ve never seen him in this state before. The way his body language gets more aggressive, his voice raw with frustration. “You’re so fucking frustrating, telling me you miss me when I’m gone and ignoring me when I’m home? Huh? Why the fuck do you act like this?!” His fist slams down on the counter, punctuating his words.
The anger is so familiar it hurts. Harsh, raw voices tearing at you and hate so burning hot you’re sure it’ll bruise. That scary, tall figure of a man towering over you. Fear, straight fear of what could happen to you if you didn’t keep your mouth shut and your eyes on the floor.
His words are spoken in a different language, the only thing you register is how jarringly hateful he feels. How scared you are. How it seems like at any moment, he could pick up that cup and throw it at you, or kick you to the floor, or do something, anything to hurt you.
Keegan’s warmth all around you when you wake up, too direct and unexpected. Confused, hurt glances when you refuse to stay, slow, aimless walks during the evenings, cold dinner and missed calls. Your pit of loneliness filled with adoration so suddenly that you have to pull away.
Your mind is a fucking mess, thoughts and emotions dragging around in a swirl of words and images you can’t possibly put to words. Keegan’s only making it worse, and you can’t bear to feel like you did before once again, and everything your mind has fought to keep away is forcing itself back into your body, so you have to slip away from yourself to make room for it.
Your body curls in on itself. Your eyes staring intently at the floor to avoid looking at him, and your arms wrap around your body and squeeze as hard as you can to try to make everything real again.
‘Look at me when I’m speaking to you.’
He’d said that to you when he was angry. You remember the way he got angrier when you wouldn’t look at him.
You force your eyes to move back to Keegan, even though his seemingly unstopping anger only makes it harder to tear your memories away.
It’s all so fucking unfair. You don’t want to have all this shit to deal with. He’s long gone. Out of your life, yet all the anger he’d thrown at you all those times still lingers in your mind.
Keegan’s love feels foreign. Kisses all over your face, a warm body wrapped around you as if to shield you from all the bad in the world, sickeningly sweet words coated a thousand times in love being whispered into your ear. You have no idea what you’re supposed to do with it. What you’re supposed to give him in return. It’s all wrong.
It’s weirdly comforting. The way he’s yelling at you. You’ve had it before, and you know how to navigate something like this. Keeping yourself out of the way, not being a bother, shutting the fuck up. You can’t feel guilty when Keegan’s an asshole, when he’s a piece of shit, cause if he’s not perfect all the way through and too good for you, you don’t have to be perfect either, and you don’t need to feel bad about pulling away and distancing yourself.
You almost forget any of this is even happening. It’s all gray and lifeless and fucking dead. There’s a bubble around you, keeping you separated from your emotions and making it impossible to explain anything to him. Keegan’s outside the bubble, his words are muffled and it’s like you’re underwater. His hands keep moving around, and he keeps shouting. Your body feels stiff and awkward. You can’t open your mouth, can’t dig a single word out of your throat to explain why you are the way you are.
“Did I do anything wrong? Anything for you to treat me like this? You’ve gotta tell me about these things, we’ve talked about it before but you keep fucking repeating this behaviour!” You hate the way he’s scolding you and you want to scream at him to stop, to get out, to shut up or just about anything to get rid of the ugly feeling in your stomach.
Keegan stops, his jaw clenched and his fists squeezed tight. He looks at you with so much anger, confusion and frustration you feel like you’re about to vomit. Something inside you finally breaks when his hand slams down on the counter again, harder than before, the sound deafened by the curse he shouts in frustration.
It’s like you slam back into your body, and you’re suddenly confronted with the trauma, the hopelessness, the shame you’ve been pushing away for years, and you have absolutely no possible way of keeping yourself together.
You’re so far from being in control of your body it scares you, sobs and tears pouring out of you while you can’t do anything other than feel the mess of emotions stirring at a furious speed inside you. Your legs give out, so you’re limply tucked into the corner where the kitchen counter meets the refrigerator. Metal handles dig into your skin, everything is too much and you can’t live like this.
You cry harder when Keegan’s arms wrap around your body, he lowers himself to the ground till he’s sitting next to you, pulls you into his lap and turns your body so you’re facing him. His words are unintelligible, but his tone is so different from the harshness and hate he’d thrown at you less than a minute ago. His big hand weaves itself into your hair and guides your face into the crook of his neck, his other arm wrapping around your body and shielding you from anything else.
Warm skin against cold fingertips, a mess of hair tickling your forehead, his lips pressing kisses to your head again and again. This is all wrong, it feels wrong, and you want him to yell at you again, you want to see him angry at you cause you deserve it for treating him like shit. You want the hate in his eyes to hurt you, selfishly, so fucking selfishly, because it’s the only thing you know and the only thing that would make you feel better about yourself.
You know the chaotic anger he showed, and it felt good because everything else about Keegan feels foreign. The warmth that comes with his touch and his gentle, sweet words, things you can’t force yourself to accept.
His fingers massage your scalp as he rocks you back and forth on his lap. “I’m sorry. Im so fucking sorry, I’m sorry.” He murmurs, his voice back to what you know, comforting, familiar because it’s all him, all Keegan.
He keeps rocking your body back and forth in his lap, talking to you softly, stroking your hair, and it feels good to be taken care of like this. To be treated like a baby, like you don’t have any responsibilities or problems.
You don’t look at him. When he begs you to look at him you shake your head, pushing yourself even closer. He talks but you don’t listen, whatever comfort he wants to give you is mirrored through the deep murmur of his voice, which is comforting enough to listen to on its own. You want to melt into him, stay with him forever, never have to talk. He’s all warm. You cry till your breath runs short and your throat feels hoarse, you cry until you’ve cried out all your years.
“It just feels so different. Like, foreign. The way you treat me.” You whisper against his skin, your hands slipping underneath his shirt to grip at his bare skin, feel that he’s real and human and here with you. “I don’t know what to do with it. I feel like such a fucking-“ your breath hitches, your words interrupted by another sob forcing its way up your throat. He holds you tighter and you’re practically buried inside him, your hands squeeze at the skin on his back.
He shushes you, kisses the hair that falls over your forehead. His hand moves to cup your cheek, lifting your face so that he can see your tearful, red eyes. “I’m sorry.” His thumb moves across your cheek in repeating motions. “I know all this is hard for you, I’m just..” his breath hitches, and his hand squeezes the chubby skin of your cheek. “Don’t let me yell at you like that again, never.”
· • —– ٠ ✤ ٠ —– • ·
If you enjoyed this check out my other Keegan fics, I have a bunch😭😭 all in my pinned!!
#keegan p russ#keegan russ x reader#cod keegan#cod ghosts#keegan russ#call of duty ghosts#call of duty keegan#keegan p russ x reader#cod
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