#idk ive never driven one

[bellygunnr]

real ask: whats your favorite thing about lancers?

They're like if someone dressed up an egg in a punk outfit. Also, my favorite part has to be that they're compact sedans, because I like four door cars over coupes when available.

I'd of course be remiss not to post an example of a LanEvo 3. It's fucking adorable. Combing over reviews for these cars, it does seem that Mitsubishi put everything in the Evolution/sport side of things, leaving the family car out to dry in terms of comfort and function.

They're small, they're quick, and incredibly specialized-- all things that I like. Also, they're fun to find in video games. The Evo 6 and 8 are easily my top driven cars in Forza 5.

[jrueships]

im going into my new work tomorrow, first time ever😐

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[tkbrokkoli]

wanted to write smth abt top surgery ⬇️

[fortheharbingers]

being feixiao's little plaything...... no thoughts head empty fr

pairing: feixiao/gn!reader

notes: gn!reader (as much as I could), oral (reader receiving), biting, slight clawing and marking, one or two petnames i think. –idk what to tag ive not written smut in ages but this woman is driving me insane. i jst know she can make u cum w/o touching u. okiii byeee Minors do not interact !!

As someone with her status of being, merlin’s claw feixiao is a lot to handle at times. Bold, playful and shameless, never backing down, a force to be reckoned with both in and out of a battlefield.

the general has quite the tricky condition, unbeknownst to many. and after battles that go a little over her threshold, that's where you play in. a little off the edge, her grip of her control barely gone, the general needs something, someone to keep her grounded, connected to reality. the counting of each sense and testing them one by one is a trick used for many occasions and even for that, feixiao has her way of rolling with it.

there, she finds a rope to hold onto, in the tight space between your legs. when her eyes see only red and sense of smell enhanced, she drinks in the smell of your skin, your fear, the sweat that clings to your form and that perfume you always save just for her.

in the midst of all those, strangers and those who don't know the truth of things, you serve your purpose and more– greet her not just as the untouchable and infamous Merlin's Claw but also just Feixiao, just a foxian, painfully hungry and ready to dive right into her meal that is you. not that she doesn't like when you call her 'her general', praises spilling from your lips but in this crazed state now, she cannot focus on anything.

her nails dig into your skin, parting your legs. dragging her claws across, she draws patterns into your skin, feel how soft and fragile you are to the touch, your warmth enough to melt her, enough to dispel the cold air of even the shackling prison. never once her hands are off your body, always feeling you everywhere and touching, groping at your skin, squeezing when you let out a particular squeak like a melody to her ears.

feixiao has always been good at what she does, but when she is like this– barely a person and driven by lust, her touches burn. she drags a finger on your inner thigh, a little to the side and she can feel how wet you're getting by the second. from the way her breathing is erratic, you can tell she knows. licking her lips, feixiao takes in a sharp breath. just a little more force and she can enjoy the scent of your blood mixing into this delicious fest of smells. the smell of arousal soon fills the air, making it harder for her to remain her composure. what a little minx, weren't you supposed to help ease the symptoms, she thinks, not drive her crazier?

one hand goes north slowly, stroking right under your belly button, tugging at the skin there, getting a yelp in return. as her free hand continues to roam your body, her mouth draws closer, tracing over the same spots with her lips, leaving lithe, wet kisses. with heat pooling up in you, all you can do is whimper her name and watch as she toys with her meal.

her hand finds your breast and immediately she gropes the flesh, sinking her teeth into your thigh in the process. you hiss out a moan, eyes closed shut at the sudden action.

biting at the spot over and over, when she feels content with it, feixiao pulls back and places a kiss there, moving onto the next spot.

when her eyes no longer see red, she admires the scene before her very eyes.

how you're sprawled over her bed, all pretty and flush already, staring at her, waiting for her to keep going. hazy eyes and your slightly ajar, she can notice the drool by your chin. what a mess you've created and she has only begun...

body practically throbbing with need, she brings a hand to your pulse to feel how your fast your heart beats. moving the hand slowly to your chest, she feels how something so small can beat so fast and with force– all for her, too. feeling your slight jolts each time she touches you, feixiao grins at your helpless self, awaiting whatever she will give you, and you happily taking it all, beginning for more to come until your body cannot endure anything else.

sight, smell, hearing and touch... feixiao has saved the best for the last.

giving her lips another lick, and catching you gulp at the sight from the corner of her eye, she dives in. the meal she's been waiting to have all week. all of it just for her to enjoy, to savor.

without wasting another second, her lips find your sex.

she tries going easy on you, really she does. tries her best to start with few kisses here and there, to prepare you for the rest of the night, and to prolong your orgasm for the both of you... but with how strong and enthralling you smell, she finds her resolve broken. lapping at you like a man in the desert, she drags her tongue over and over, biting at your lips and not caring one bit about the mess she is making. drenched in your arousal, she drinks in your moans, how you begin to pant her name as you feel yourself getting closer.

when she can hear your breathing fasten, her tongue slows down in pace, now lazily leaving kisses, nipping at your skin. with the sudden drop of pace, all you can mumble is a desperate "please..."

at your plea, feixiao laughs. "please what, sweet thing?" she asks you and with what energy left in you, you try bringing your legs together, to trap her face there. tutting at your display of request, she shakes her head and easily spreads your legs again, pressing them against the bed. "so impatient... have you no respect for your general?" her words make you blush, a tad embarrassed.

and your reaction to her words only make her more satisfied. how innocent and sweet. "well then, since you could ask this time..." she says as she leans into you again.

your hands reach out to her this time, clutching at her as she teases you with her tongue. you can feel yourself tighten around her tongue, eyes closed shot in satisfaction as she sucks and bites at you. with what little you have left in you, you drag your hands through her hair, fingers playing with her ears and scratching at the back of them. mixed into your endless moans and mewls of her name, this action draws a growl out of her in return, pressing her face further into you, urging you to continue.

as you try and grind against her tongue, her hands find your hips, pressing you into the mattress, not letting you move one inch, keeping you in place. thumbs rubbing circles onto your hips and sucking on your sex, she angles you enough for easier access and before you know you come undone, your body shaking as you come and make a mess all over your general's face.

gasping for air, you lie limp in the same position she has put you until you can return to your senses.

when you open your eyes, expecting to be met with the blinding lights of the room, you're instead faced with her curious eyes, with an expression already on her face that tells you she is up to no good.

"so, ready for round two, or do i give you another minute? it’s considered well-mannered to show your general just how much you missed her, y’know.”

[ilypaigebuckets]

Dating Kate Martin Headcannons!

little head cannon post bc i have so little written for kate! sorry i haven’t been active ive just been so busy but im otw to the lizzy mcalpine concert sorry just doxxed myself maybe?? idk but yay so fun but yeah im not busy after tn like no plans whatsoever 🥳

- kate definitely fell first

- i don’t think she’d be like ACTIVELY looking for a partner i think she just saw you and was like “yep i want that one” but was too scared to actually pursue you

- caitlin definitely had to hype her up to ask you out on a first date

- your guys’ first date is definitely something cozy and personable like a little coffee shop or cafe. even though it’s simple, kate would be so nervous. you guys spend the time together getting to know each other and for your second date you invite her over to your apartment that evening to watch a movie and have dinner

- she definitely kisses you on the second date bc she’s such a uhaul and already knows you’re gonna be special to her

- her love languages are definitely physical touch and quality time, and words of affirmation too!!

- she loves having full on cuddle sessions with you in the mornings, before bed, even in the middle of the afternoon when you guys have a spare moment to kill. she’s the self proclaimed queen of cuddles and always tries to scoop you up into her lap whenever she gets the chance.

- kate always wants to be touching you, no matter where you are. even in public, she’ll be hugging you from behind or holding your hand. her teammates have definitely had to tell her to cool it with the pda once or twice because she’s so enticed by you she totally forgets about everyone else around you two.

- kate’s always making time for you. even if you guys are just studying for your classes in silence or she meets up with you to walk you to your lecture, she enjoys it because it’s with you.

- she wants you to come to all of her games. one time you missed one of her away games due to a family get together and she was really upset by it. she wasn’t mad at you or anything, but she was definitely pouting about how much she missed you.

- kate is such a sweetheart to you. if you’re feeling down about yourself, best believe she will be able to tell!! she writes sweet sayings and positive affirmations on little sticky notes and puts them up on your refrigerator and bathroom mirror for you to look at.

- she loves taking care of you, to her you’re her little baby. if you’ve had a tough week, she’ll lay down with you to take a nap and after you fall asleep she’ll get up and tidy your room up a bit. you wake up feeling so grateful for her but she assures you that she’s just a neat freak and it was her pleasure to

- she’s a super patient, and i think she’d definitely find that attractive in you so i don’t think you guys would have too many fights.

- most of your fights are probably driven by jealousy on either side. kate loves you so much and she sometimes gets paranoid your eyes will wander somewhere else. you love kate just as much, and all of the fans writing flirty comments to her definitely makes you insecure from time to time.

- when you fight, you and kate never yell at each other. you’re more passionate, while she’s more calm and collected so you might shed a few tears trying to prove a point. once she sees that you’re crying, though, it’s game over and she squashes the entire thing and rushes over to hold you in her arms. she hates seeing you upset, and she hates even more that it’s partly because of her.

- kate definitely loves attention and gets annoyed/slightly jealous when you talk to her teammates over her

- “i just don’t understand why you were talking to caitlin for SO LONG y/n. do you think she’s cooler than me?” and she shows her little puppy dog eyes and pouts her lip at you and you almost fall for it

- nicknames: for kate, you definitely call her love, lovebug, baby, sweet little names like that. kate calls you baby, princess and have you guys seen her tattoo that says sunshine? she would definitely call you her sunshine too (i have a fic idea for this so lmk if you want me to write itttt)

[bobacupcake]

anyways heres my twitter exodus social media rankings as someone whos income is tied directly to my following so i am stuck in this hell loop until i get paid enough to hire a socialmedia manager for our game studio

tumblr - i mean come on guys. ive been here for 11 years. i met th love of my life and became her friend via tumblr ask memes here. whats more to say. theres obviously things i would change but out of all of them this one is the one i feel most comfortable using. you guys always have my back 7/10

twitter - awful. awful. awful. i hate you. you took everything from me. we used to have cotweets. i was going to collab with my friends and post them as a cotweet. you bastard. 0/10

cohost - favorite out of all the new sites. in terms of functionality i dont have too much reason to use it because its ux is super similar to tumblr but the community and vibes are great. its run by actually cool people. you can put css in posts. i have seen so many cool posts. 10/10

bluesky - honestly not too bad from the usability angle. big thing keeping it down is its another VC funded thing so it will eventually become awful but for now its decent. its basically twitter but before it got bought out by musk and also you can pick the algorithm your feed runs on kind of like tumblr (so like you can make your default a completely linear timeline of only the people you follow. or a completely linear timeline of only your mutuals). if any of them become the proper "twitter successor" i want to believe it will be this one . not that i Hope its this one but i feel like if it isnt this one its going to be threads and i dont want it to be threads. 5/10

hive - it was mobile only and i needed to update my phone to use it so i never did. i dont know if people still use this one i dont think they do ?/10

mastodon - idk why i cant get into mastodon i have tried so many times i am just not feeling it. 4/10 for me but 8/10 objectively

threads - bad. bad. meta product. privacy violations so bad its banned in the eu. algorithm driven feed with 50 million celebrities i dont know and dont care about. mobile only. pleae dont let this be the one. please i dont want to use threads. i dont want to have to use threads. please. please. please you guys

[waddleonmywaywardducks]

Something I would just like to get off my chest...

Literally I just want to talk my shit. This is just SOME of the shit I'm tired of seeing in my community.

I grew up in a extremely god-fearing Christian home. Most of my childhood years where spent in a church or with my nose stuck into a Bible. It was horrible. When I was 10, I was opened to the world of magic and slowly I realized that what I was reading could be true. I began to research as much as I could and now here we are. But anyways, as I began to expand my craft, I start to find myself with people who also practice!

My first experience with the shit talk in my community was from a witch who came from a long line of witches and claimed they were more powerful then me bc of that....I've never seen them practice or even attempt to practice....and their mother is a wiccan....ok yeah sure ☠️ like first off, literally I don't care, I don't care if your mother is a witch, I don't care that "you are the granddaughter of the witches they didn't burn" ☠️☠️ you can miss me with that. Second off, because they claimed to be a more powerful witch they said they could "mentor" me and teach me the "right ways" and when I said no they then told me I would never be powerful and that they would curse me....where's that curse at girlie???? I do not care for power. I do not care for control. I just want to find harmony with myself and the world.

The second experience I had, AND I KNOW EVERYONE. EVERYONE. HAD THIS HAPPEN TO THEM, was the "I've been practicing for x amount of years so....Im actually better then you" I HATE YOU. I HATE YOU. I do not give a fuck how long you have been practicing. Here's a real question, why do you, a "experienced" witch, feel the need to invalidate new witches, when your practice is all your own? Are you really practicing if you feel the need to scare and fearmonger newer witches? Why not help them?I remember I was at such and loss starting out because no one would tell me, they would be like "how could you not know that?!?!" Or "I would NEVER make that mistake" it's ok to make mistakes, fuck man 8 years later and I still make mistakes. Also, Witchcraft communities have always been about communicating, when looking for where to began, young witches would TURN TO THEIR ELDERS. Why have we driven away from that? Idk I just feel like if you feel the need to invalidate newer witches, you aren't actually secure in your own practice. So are you really better then me? Or are you just worried I'll become more "powerful" then you?

And I know we've all gone through the "I have the most expensive herbs so my spells are way more powerful" just say you love capitalism ☠️☠️ LMFAOOO the witches I see on tiktok are like the over consumption final boss like holy shit. I literally get everything I need from the forest outside my house, I literally haven't bought anything for my practice in like months because I put my time and energy into what I create for my deities, spells, and rituals. And honestly, Ive had way better results because of it. You don't need all this big fancy stuff, just get started with what you have. Make it your own.

Instead of doing all this, mind your business, stay to YOUR craft, and if someone asks for help you can give them what you can. Literally just be a nice person Jesus fucking Christ. Just be a nice person. The entire reason I made this blog was for witches who needed someone to push them in the right direction. This post was me talking shit, if you feel called out....then consider this a sign to try to be better, there's always a chance to start again. And also, in no way am I bashing witches who come from a long line of witches, that shit is cool as hell, I'm just saying when you use it just to be cool and not practice, bc i hate to break it to you but if you don't practice like at all, not even attempt to start, then you aren't a witch my guy im sorry being born into a witch family doesn't automatically make you a witch, you have to carve that shit out for yourself. But anyways it's 1am I'm tired I honestly have no idea why I wrote this. Ok bye.

[nwarrior777]

when I look in the mirror I see your art. Idk how you were able to put a piece of a fat persons soul in your art, but you did. Iv never been able to see someones art in the mirror like I have with yours. Where fat people are drawn with the amount of love that you put in.

not me crying about ask on tumblr- thank you qwq i am always so happy to receive feedback like that! then people see themselves in my art. or like here, my art in themselves?? that's smth new! I choose my sphere of art to be representation, and goal to bring my part for shifting balance of media image of people, to realistic side, which celebrates the beauty of differences of our appearances I have joke about it like "Being representative artist has pros and cons. Pros: you will never have artblock. Cons: you will never have artblock". Because there is sooooo soooo SOOOO much work here needs to be done. And i am sometimes worry that i will never be able to draw all i want, ideas i have in 26 are already would take all together more than 100 years. But then i see reactions like this, i think "oh! i've already done something! a lot actually!" and it calms me a bit. It's a honor to know that thing you do made positive impact, that you did your little part of making word a better place, more kind one.

And i guess the secret of Love in my art is my attitude? I think Love is most important thing in life, i don't mean only romance but like, in general, Love for everything and in every form. Love for your partners, Love for friends, Love for thing you do, Love in cooking, for park near you home, for a frog plushi, for Life. My statement is Life itself is driven by Love, and, appearance of people is like flower field to me: everyone is Beautiful in their Uniqueness. I came long path and there is no ugliness as a concept in my mind at all now, and it gives me so much of inner freedom. And if about fat people - honestly how NOT to see beauty in fatness??? And it's so delightful to draw... Like, it is Love in these drawings because it is literally that i feel and projecting into screen. And like. I follow one women on insta, her posts are absolutely Ethereal. Imagine that impressionists pastel drawings with cute cottage core dresses but it's videos with very big black women in this dresses running on grass, on that almost painting landscapes, like. Then i saw this i felt like my eyes were blessed, like, she is literal Goddes. And then i knew that she have some haters comments... like. It's just. I don't know how there are two so polar reactions on that. But i prefer my side. Because there is no better feeling than Love

[builtbybrokenbells]

Gold Dust Woman | iv

Driven to the brink of insanity, y/n turns to her best friend for advice in her time of need. A Sunday brunch paired with day drinking leads to a world of new information she hopes will help her to better understand the new world she is caught up in.

Read part three here

Pairing: jake kiszka x f!reader, sam kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 12.5k

Warnings: sexting, sort of phone sex I guess, dirty talk, name calling (ish?), pet names, touch of praise, teasing, drinking, swearing, gossip (is that a warning? idk anymore guys), mentions of cheating, but nothing super heavy for this chapter! sorry if i miss any!

in my hungover state I present you with this! I’ve been waiting to write this chapter literally since I’ve started this. it’s super important to the plot and I think clears up a lot of stuff!! plus it’s a good little summary of everything leading up to this chapter. also id just like to say a super sincere thank you for the love i have received on this series. it was a big step out of my comfort zone and i was really worried that it wouldn’t be enjoyed, but you guys are so kind and supportive. i <3 you all. as always, enjoy, be kind, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes 🫶🏻

The tiny diner was overcrowded for its size, but still as welcoming as ever. Cheer and comfortability radiated through the air from the minute you stepped inside, never failing to brighten spirits. The small booth in the very back corner was routinely reserved for you and Danny on your Sunday outings. Brunch, always, but it was normally followed by some sort of wholesome activity to fill the afternoon. Then again, it didn’t matter what you were doing; time spent with Danny was always wholesome, and quite fulfilling. His friendship was one of your most prized possessions, mostly because you never really experienced anything like it before him. The conversation was never dull, radiating a type of safety that made you feel like you could tell him anything. Jokes were always well timed, advice was free-flowing, and a gesture of comfort was routinely available if needed.

Sundays were your favourite day, because you got the opportunity to spend time with him. Sometimes, the other boys would join, but that was rare. Even if they opted not to, you were fine with that, because you knew that the booth in the very back would always be reserved for two. That day was no different; you picked Danny up from his apartment at the usual time, and you both showed each other new music discoveries from the prior week. After the high stress of the weekend, you were happy to return to some type of normalcy, even if your regret for your careless decisions were constantly looming over you. When you arrived at the diner, the familiarity of the scene wrapped you up in a warm hug.

When you settled in to the seat, you placed your purse beside you and your phone face down on the table. The morning had started in a strange way, still leaving you frazzled hours later. After yesterdays activities, you had woken up tangled in the bed sheets and wrapped around Jake Kiszka. You never thought you would find yourself in such a state, but the reality of it was all too overwhelming to ignore. Although it wasn’t a bad start to the day, you were still aching with residual stress from the entirety of the situation. When he woke, too, the feeling seemed to wash away. There was a few hours where things seemed perfectly right, instead of troublesome; laughing and kissing your way through the earliest hours of your day, cooking breakfast and sharing cups of coffee along with stolen glances and smiles. It was beautiful in its own twisted way, making you genuinely believe you could spend the rest of your life doing just that. Once he’d left you on your lonesome, the guilt creeped back in like a disease, eating away at every part of you and taking you for its own. It had yet to satiate, even with Danny in front of you and a promise of a good day.

“You look terrible.” He stated, taking a sip out of the coffee mug the waitress had quickly delivered. Your eyes snapped up to him, shocked at the blunt statement.

“Thanks?” You furrowed your eyebrows, a small laugh stuck in your throat.

“No, not like that.” He corrected, placing his menu on the table. There was no need for it; you both had tried the entirety of the menu the restaurant offered, settling on your favourites long ago. “You always look pretty. I mean, you look like you just saw a ghost.” He was right, you couldn’t deny it. The bags under your eyes were darker than ever, skin pale and eyes distant. You were a mess, definitely looking like yourself but a mostly just a shell of it. It didn’t take a detective to figure that out.

“Yeah,” you chuckled, unsure of how to respond to his statement. “Guess I just haven’t been sleeping well.”

“Penny for your thoughts?” He shot back, his gaze unwavering. You shifted under the stare, feeling like he had already picked up on your predicament. You hated that about him; he always seemed to know there was something on your mind, even if you exhausted every way to hide it. It was just a Danny thing, and you had picked up on that long ago. He cared too much, noticed too much. Secrets didn’t exist around him, and perhaps that was why you were so excited for this particular outing, subconsciously hoping you might be able to get at least something off your chest.

“I don’t know if there’s enough time in the day.” You grumbled, taking a long sip of water from your cup. “I wouldn’t want to make your ears bleed.”

“I’ll strike you a deal.” He offered, causing you to look up at him. “Bottomless mimosas on me, and a shoulder to cry on.” You eyed him, nervous to agree but comforted at the thought of speaking your mind. “What’s said at brunch stays at brunch. I’ll drive home.” His invitation was very tempting. As much as you felt like you should keep the turmoil to yourself, the idea of advice or even just to confess your mistakes was overwhelmingly alluring. After a moment, you decided you would have to say something, even just an elusive idea to get some kind of answer to your internal debate.

“Deal, but it stays between us.” You finally said, realizing that if you didn’t speak your troubles aloud, they would eat you alive. Besides, there was nobody in the world that you trusted more than Danny. You knew you could probably confess murder and he would only ask how to help. “But my lips are sealed until those mimosa’s get here.” You smiled.

When the waitress came to check in and take orders, you both settled on a meal and Danny was sure not to forget your drinks. As you waited for her return, you struggled to arrange the thoughts in your brain. You had no idea how to explain the situation to him, or even where to begin. You were scared he would think differently of you, even though deep down, you knew he wouldn’t. The whole thing was sick and twisted, and you were so on edge that you thought you might combust. The last thing you wanted was to lose your friendship with Danny because of your inability to understand your own feelings. When the champagne flute was finally in front of you, your stomach churned with unease. You looked up to meet his eyes, but found he was already waiting in anticipation.

“So, what’s going on?” Before answering, you grabbed the glass and made quick work at finishing the liquid in one go. You figured you’d need the courage to tell this story.

“Remember that lesson we were talking about?” You asked, checking the flute to make sure you didn’t miss any alcohol before setting it back down.

“Vaguely,” he smirked “but I don’t think you ever told me exactly what it was.”

“Yeah, because I still have no idea what the fuck it is.” You let out a nervous chuckle. “I made a really big mess of things, and I have no idea how to fix it.”

“Okay, don’t panic. We can work through it together.” Your heart warmed at his words, feeling a little better just at the thought of his input. Even if he were to tell you that you were an idiot, you knew you deserved it. There had never been a time where advice from Danny hadn’t helped, even if it was only for a moment. And, although you hated to admit it, he was almost always right. “What kind of mess?”

“A big one.” You said, unable to find a better way to describe it. “I guess I probably have to go way back to the start for anything to make sense.” You sighed, placing your head in your hands. Your plan for keeping your feelings quiet had crumbled long ago; if you were going to tell him anything, you would have to explain it all. “The lesson was Sam. I’ve been in love with him for months.”

“Mhm,” Danny nodded, pausing his response as the waitress walked over to replace your drink. Once she was out of earshot, he spoke. “I had an idea.”

“Was it that obvious?” He quickly averted his eyes, not wanting you to see his face as he reacted to your question. You could tell he was trying not to laugh, finding your inquiry quite funny. “Oh, god.” You groaned.

“No, not exactly obvious.” He lied. You let out a groan, embarrassed that everybody seemed to know about your crush. “I don’t think he did, though. He’s pretty oblivious.” He comforted you, the second part of his statement much more genuine. “Why is that such a big deal?” You audibly laughed at his comment, realizing that he had no idea the extent of the problem.

“He never gave me any idea he liked me back. Flirted with girls at my house, acted like I was just another one of the guys. I never really felt like I meant anything more to him.” You explained. “And I was too much of a coward to say anything. Thought it was better if I kept everything a secret. I didn’t want to risk losing you guys as friends. I like you all too much.”

“We like you too, y/n.” He smiled, finding your worry silly. He knew that whatever happened, he still wanted to be your friend. You were his solace away from the chaos of his band mates, and to him, it was the best thing in the whole world. You gave him a soft smile, taking a moment to sip at your drink again. “No matter what, you’re always going to be my Sunday brunch date.” He assured you. You let out a long breath, now preparing to get into the deepest part of the conversation.

“So that night, after you and I talked, I figured that I had to snap out of it. I spent every weekend watching him, hoping he would make a move, or even give me some sort of hint that he acknowledged I existed in any way other than a friend. I was tired of waiting. I wanted to have fun, so I asked you to play beer pong.” He hummed an agreement, letting you know he was following. “And I partnered with Jake.” And what a grave mistake, that was. “I was drunk, and at first it was friendly, no different than usual. Then he started looking and talking to me different. It wasn’t bad, obviously, but he was very clearly flirting.” You paused, noticing the small smile he was fighting back. You tried to ignore it, not liking the way he was looking at you. “I was really drunk, and it felt really nice to be noticed. I shouldn’t have entertained it, but I did. I played along with him, thinking it was harmless. The game ended, we went out separate ways, and I figured that was the end of it. It should have been the end of it.”

“It wasn’t, though, was it?” You shook your head at his words. The conversation was stopped by plates of food in front of you and another replacement for your empty mimosa. You took a break from the grievous topic to have a bite to eat before continuing. After a few moments, you answered.

“Nope,” you sighed, popping the p to accentuate the impact. “We talked for a little while longer, then I went to the bathroom. Heard someone playing my guitar in my room, so of course I had to check.” You cursed yourself for not knowing better. “There he was, playing so well that it draws you in without a second thought, looking as pretty as ever.” He got a laugh out of your statement, never hearing two compliments sound so much like insults. “I joined him and we talked for a while, completely normal stuff.”

“You guys hooked up?”

“Ah!” You snapped, pressing your finger to your lips, silently telling him to keep his voice down. He let out a hearty laugh at your dramatics, knowing that nobody in the vicinity gave a single care about what you were talking about.

“So that’s a yes?”

“Yeah, sort of, I guess!” You said, exasperated at the thought of recalling that moment aloud, especially to someone so close with Jake. You took another long drink, hoping the alcohol would calm your nerves. “I went to bed, and I didn’t know what to think. Part of me was thrilled, but a bigger one never wanted to do it again. I felt so guilty, almost like I cheated on Sam even though he had no idea I liked him. How stupid is that?”

“It’s not stupid, y/n. I think it’s pretty normal, actually.” He shrugged. “We live in our own head, and when we like someone so much, especially for a long time, it kind of starts to feel real. I think you feeling guilty is actually more normal than not caring. Means you really do like him, and it’s not just a surface level thing.” The confirmation was nice, but also made you feel even worse. You felt as though you shouldn’t be allowed to have feelings for Sam anymore, especially after how you spent your morning. “I take it that’s not the end?” He chuckled, picking up on your sullen expression.

“No,” you groaned, burying your head in your hands again. “I wish it was, but no.” He reached over, looping his fingers around your wrist and gently pulling your hand away from your face. You glanced up at him through your eyelashes, noticing his smile.

“It’s okay. What’s said at brunch stays at brunch.” He promised. You gave a slight nod, letting your hand fall into his. He rested them on the table, giving yours a reassuring squeeze.

“When I woke up and only saw you three in the living room, I kind of thought he regretted it, too. Figured he sobered up and… yeah.” You laughed, not feeling a need to get into your insecurities. “I was nervous, still feeling pretty guilty, but we were all hungover so I just blamed it on that. Things felt normal for a minute, when we were all just sitting and falling asleep. Then he came back. From the minute I saw him, I knew he didn’t regret any of it. He gave me my coffee. My coffee, exactly how I order it. He remembered, and I don’t even think I’ve ever told him.” You mumbled, feeling a blush rise at the memory. “We ended up going to the basement, and nothing happened, really. We kissed and talked, and we kind of agreed he would stay after everyone left.”

“That doesn’t sound bad.” He reassured you. You narrowed your stare, causing him to back down instantly.

“Aside from the feelings thing, no.” You admitted, feeling bad for giving him such a harsh look. “While we were playing songs, everything felt fine. It was fun, I wasn’t nervous or worried about anything, and I thought that maybe things would be fine. I know Jake isn’t the bad guy; he’s not someone I wouldn’t want to fall in love with. I think I’d like it, actually, if the situation were that simple. He’s always been kind to me, he’s funny, he remembers things about me that nobody bothers to. He cares about the little things. He pays attention.”

“And Sam doesn’t.” He affirmed. You nodded, agreeing wholeheartedly.

“He never has. I feel like I wasted months loving someone who didn’t give a shit whether I was around or not.” Danny looked like he wanted to protest, but bit his tongue instead. It was your time to vent, and he wanted you to say what you needed without interruption. “I went to the kitchen to get more coffee, more comfortable with everything. I thought maybe if Jake and I spent enough time together, the feelings for Sam would just be… obsolete. I’m sure it would have worked, too. But, he just had to follow me.”

“Sam?” You nodded, giving him a bit of clarity. You were so worked up that you were rushing yourself through the story.

“Yeah, we just chatted for a minute, both drank our coffee like normal friends. Then he tried to hold my hand! And then tried to hint around that he liked me, too!”

“He did not,” Danny sat back in the booth, letting his head slump against the seat, internally cringing at his best friends terrible timing.

“Sure did! The whole confession was pretty funny, actually. Not to me, but definitely to someone! It was like god was sitting up in the sky laughing at me while it happened.”

“He’s so stupid.” Danny groaned, clearly exasperated himself. Danny was so unapologetic about his secret love of girl talk, and it made you incredibly happy. He really was your best friend in every sense of the word.

“Yeah, and I was a little pissed off! It made me feel like I was only worth loving when he was afraid he couldn’t have me. We argued for a few minutes, and he basically pried the confession about Jake out of me so he could use it for his own personal agenda! Then, he got this grand idea that he’d make it into a competition between him and and his brother to see who can win me over.” Danny gave a wince at the thought, already aware of Sam’s thought process before you even said it aloud. “I told him it was a bad idea, and I meant it. It is a terrible idea.” You clarified before telling him any more. After a few moments of silence, his eyes were urging you to continue. “We kissed.” You sighed. He let out another laugh, like what you had said was a joke rather than something you deeply regretted. His hand squeezed yours once more, another gesture of comfort. “What’s so funny?”

���No, no. You tell your story, I’ll talk later.” He assured you. With an air of discomfort, you accepted the deal, deciding to purge yourself of the last bit of the story so you could get it over with.

“It was fantastic. Something I’d been waiting forever to do. It almost felt wrong because it felt so right. So I planned on ending things with Jake. It was the right thing to do; I know if Sam had kissed me even a day sooner, there would have been no problem or conflict. I would have been over the moon.” Danny gave a hum, understanding what you meant, but not certain he agreed with it. Still, he held his thoughts back until you were finished. “You guys came in, and Sam left. Jake was still in the living room, because I told him to stay after everybody went home. I went in to talk to him, fully prepared to end things, but when I saw him, it was like it disappeared. He’s just so… captivating. Like, when I’m around him, he’s the only thing that exists.”

“Yeah, he does have a pretty big personality. Hard to ignore. He’s quiet, but I think that’s part of the charm.”

“Yep, because everything that comes out of his mouth is perfectly thought out.” You snipped, angry at the thought of his perfection. “He started talking, and he knew Sam and I had done something in the kitchen. I didn’t even have to say anything to him. There was a lot of back and fourth, kind of unimportant. I don’t even think I could explain it, anyway. But, he basically said that they both had feelings for me and they decided that they should both have a fair shot at winning me over. Isn’t that fucked up? That they decided that on their own, and didn’t tell me?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“That’s what I thought! Anyway, whatever. Doesn’t matter now, I guess. He said some cryptic shit and I told him to leave, but it was mostly just because I was pissed off. I don’t think I really wanted him to go. Like I said, it doesn’t matter, because he stayed the night, last night. He left before I came to pick you up.” You sat back in your seat, defeated still, even after talking through the whole thing. The words being spoken into the universe only seemed to make you feel worse about the predicament. The only hope you had left was that Danny would have some sort of miracle advice to help you out, but you didn’t want to keep your hopes too high. “I think Jake’s been feeling the same way about me as I feel about Sam.”

“Okay.” Danny said, showing you that he was sufficiently aware of your predicament. “My turn?”

“Please.” You urged, finishing the last of your drink. You barely had the glass back on the table before the waitress was there to replace it. You were starting to feel the buzz of the liquor, realizing that you were genuinely getting day-drunk just to forget about your own mistakes. You were at an all time low, you decided. Your usual attitude towards relationships had continually assured you protected yourself, never letting anyone get to close, and never falling for anybody too hard. It was lonely, but loneliness was much preferred to how you were feeling in that moment. Now, in addition to a broken heart and a guilty conscience, you were scared you were going to lose the only true friends you ever had.

“I’ve known Jake and Sam for a long time. It’s a blessing and a curse. I love them to death, they’re family. Fun to be around, great friends, all that mushy shit. But, after so many years, you pick up on the bad stuff, too.” You were intrigued, now. As the fourth glass of the heartache remedy slid down your throat, you felt yourself leaning in closer to the table, not expecting a response like such. You thought Danny would call you on your bullshit, tell you that you were an idiot. You prepared yourself for that, still, because the conversation wasn’t over. It was still a possibility, but you certainly didn’t think his advice would lead in with the Kiszka’s baggage.

“You mean to tell me they’re not perfect? That god didn’t hand craft them and put them on earth just to make the rest of us feel bad?” He had another hearty laugh, finding your tipsy smile hilarious. Your ability to joke even through your turmoil was heartwarming.

“Seems that way sometimes, but no. At least I don’t think so.” He reassured you. “Jake and Sam are a lot more alike than everyone thinks, and not just physically. Sometimes, they’re more alike than Jake and Josh, which is incredibly hard to do. I mean, they’re brothers, so it’s expected, I guess. I didn’t notice it when we were in high school, but Jake wasn’t around as often. Once we all graduated, we started making music and spending a lot of time together. I think that’s when I realized how similar they were.”

“Mhm,” you agreed, wholeheartedly believing him. The two were strikingly similar in lots of ways, despite a few blatant things that offset their shared traits. You could even tell through their touch, or the small interactions that left you guessing if they previously conspired what they were going to say to you, or if it was just their Kiszka nature.

“Their taste in girls has always been one of those things. Over the years, girlfriends or flings caught interest in the other brother, or vice versa, and it was always a bit messy. It seemed like if you fell for one of them, you’d eventually fall for both of them. Or if one of them fell for you, the other would, too. It’s really fucked up, actually.” He gave a little chuckle, trying his best to explain the observation. “They caught on to it pretty soon, and fought over it once or twice, but it never seemed to cause an issue between them. They’d be mad for a few days, then they would move on like it never happened. I don’t know if they accepted it, or if they just didn’t care. Personally, I couldn’t do what they do. It would drive me crazy.” He added, clearly letting on that whatever he was leading in to was common, very deeply rooted and still pressing. You could see in his eyes that the idea was unsettling to him. “For a year or so, whichever way it went, the other just admitted defeat and moved on.”

“Oh, wow.” You breathed, trying to wrap your head around his words. It felt like you were learning deep lore about them that you weren’t supposed to know.

“I wouldn’t be telling you all this if I felt like I shouldn’t be, but it seems like they’re back to their old ways. Trust me when I say it’s much harder on you than it is on them.” You nodded, agreeing with the statement. The whole twisted relationship had given you nothing but turmoil since it had begun, and you were desperate for insight on how to fix it. To them, it just seemed like another day’s work. “Our first real tour, Sam fell super hard for a girl we met at a bar one night. Like, I mean head over heels, stars in his eyes, the whole nine yards. He got her number, and they were in love before we even left the bar. They ended up getting together, and things were really great between them. She even came along with us for a few weeks. They were happy for a while, but then Sam let tour life get to him, I think. He fucked up, hooked up with a random girl and threw the whole thing in the garbage. It was absolutely his fault, and I’ll never defend him over it, but he was young and had no idea how to handle the fame, even if we weren’t that big back then. He seemed to cling to every bit of attention he got. I know he regretted it as soon as he realized what he did, but obviously it was too late. I don’t blame her for leaving.” He shrugged. You were watching intently, immersed in every word.

“Now, I don’t know for certain what happened. Nobody talks about it anymore, and we never really did back then, either. It’s in the past, and everybody wants to keep it that way. But, that girl ended up in Jake’s bed after the big blowout. I don’t know if she initiated it, or he instigated, but it didn’t really matter, anyway. Sam found out and went insane, and he wasn’t interested in knowing who started it. They fought, like really fought, fists and all. We thought that would be the end of the band; they didn’t speak to each other for weeks. Rehearsals and concerts were constantly tense. The girl wasn’t even in the picture, anymore, Sam just felt betrayed and Jake didn’t want to admit he was in the wrong. Before, I don’t think he was ever really in love with anybody, so it didn’t matter as much. But that time, Sam reached his breaking point.”

“Holy shit,” you didn’t care about anything else happening around you. The story was captivating; both boys were very closed off, never giving too much away about themselves. They’d always answer questions if asked, but you never really heard much about the past, especially relationships. You were realizing why, now. “Poor Sam.”

“I guess.” Danny shrugged. “In that situation, yeah, but he’s not innocent. After they made up, he never let it go. He wanted to get back at him, and he did. Ever since then, Jake never had a chance to have a relationship. The minute he showed interest in someone, Sam was already trying to win her over. At first, I think it was just a coincidence. They’re similar, they like the same type of girls, obviously that can cause some issues. After that, it was different. Clearly intentional and meant to be hurtful. I stopped feeling sorry for them a long time ago. They know what they’re doing, and neither of them want to be the bigger person and apologize. Over the years, it’s just grown into a big mess.”

“So that’s why they’re doing this?”

“Yeah.” He felt no need to lie. “They’ve always been competitive. It’s a brother thing. Sam more than Jake, really. I think it’s because he’s younger, maybe feels inadequate sometimes. But to be competitive over girls with real feelings… I don’t like it. After so long, they learned to take the loss and move on. Better luck next time, to them. They mope around for a few days and then they’re back to best friends like nothing ever happened. The girls always end up getting hurt in the end, and that’s the fucked up part. They can hurt their own feelings as much as they want, but I don’t think it’s right to do it to anyone else.”

“That’s why Jake knew what happened in the kitchen. And Sam was so certain he was going to win me over. They’re masters at the game.” The whole wicked, devil-like persona’s were making more sense, now. Every move was thought out, meticulously planned and executed with grace. They’ve been playing this game far longer than you’d even been a part of it, and you were curious if they even had real feelings at all, or if it was just a part of the spiteful process.

“Masters, I’m not sure about. Cocky and annoying, absolutely. I don’t care what they have against each other. They have to settle that between themselves, not bring anyone else into it. All of us consider you a friend. A best friend. What they’re doing hurts everyone, but clearly it’s been hurting you the most.” You finished your drink, looking around for the waitress to get another refill. You were in information overload, more questions and worries filling your head with every second that passed. He picked up on the nervous energy, giving your hand another small squeeze to bring you back to reality.

“Do you think they even care about me, or is it just to piss each other off?” His eyes widened, realizing how easily you could have interpreted that from his story.

“No, y/n, not like that. I can’t speak for certainty on everything, but I am pretty sure Jake’s head over heels for you. He always perks up when we talk about you, and he’s the first one ready when we’re going to your place. Most of the time, he’s begging us to hurry up. I can see it in his eyes. We all see it, and I think that’s why I got so excited when I saw you guys flirting on Friday. Hoped that he’d finally get the courage to make a move.”

“Okay,” you whispered, scared to ask anything about the other boy, unsure if you even wanted to know the answer.

“Sam likes you, too. He told me himself, and not just yesterday, either. I’m not picking a side, or trying to get you to choose. Just telling you what I think you need to know so you can stop beating yourself up.” He explained. “I don’t know why Sam didn’t speak up, sooner. I told him you liked him, gave him encouragement, but he never said anything. He acted like he was oblivious, but he knew. Everyone knows you have feelings for Sam. I love you, but it was obvious.” Your cheeks turned rosy, embarrassed at your own inability to hide your emotions. “I think they both really like you, and they were scared of the same thing. They didn’t want the other to steal you away, but they fell into routine again and they’re doing exactly what they wanted to avoid. When Sam saw you with Jake, It probably lit a old fire in him, which is why it all happened so fast.” As much as you wanted the knowledge to give you reassurance, it only made the dread grow even larger.

“I don’t know what to do, Danny.” You sighed, closing your eyes to ward off the stress headache. You retracted your hand from his, missing the comfort of the hold almost immediately. You brought your fingers to your temples and gently massaged the area, satiating the ache slightly. “I never should have started anything with Jake. I had feelings for Sam. It was selfish, and I know that.”

“I think you had feelings for him, too. Maybe you just didn’t realize it.” He offered. “It’s not like you to start something like that without any reason. Plus, like I said, if you like one of them… history tends to repeat itself.” He said, keeping the truth light.

“If I didn’t, I sure do now.” You let out a humourless laugh, pushing the food around on your plate with your fork. “I feel like I maybe put Sam on a pedestal because I had such a big crush on him. I always thought I was in love with him, but I was never with him. I didn’t know anything beyond the surface, never experienced anything more than friendship. Not even an idea. Now, I’ve been with Jake. I know him, and I feel like maybe what I felt for Sam was just infatuation.”

“Could have been.” He shrugged, unable to answer that one for you.

“But when I’m around him, both of them, actually, they have this pull, like the earth is forcing me into their arms. It’s impossible to think clearly with them around, and I think maybe I just have to take a step back to figure it out.”

“Good luck with that.” He joked, eyes drifting to your phone on the table. “Your phone’s been going off all day, and I’m pretty sure I have an idea who it is.” You couldn’t deny anything, mostly because you knew he was right. Intermittently, another vibration would sound, and you knew if you picked it up, it would be one of the brothers you were trying so hard to ignore. “I don’t care if you ignore them, as long as I still get to see you. Wouldn’t give up our brunch dates for the world.” He sent a playful wink your way.

“Let’s just run away, get married and have mimosa’s for the rest of our lives on a cute little porch while we watch the sunset.” You grinned. “Don’t have to worry about anything ever again.”

“Don’t tempt me,” he smirked. “If I get involved in this, I’m definitely winning.” You both shared a fit of giggles, happy to ease the tension with light jokes. “But seriously, if that’s what you want to do, do it. I know how hard on the head they can be normally, so I can’t imagine what it’s like being in your position.” He sympathized. “It’s not fair to you. I think maybe that’s why Jake tried to be so secretive about it, he wanted to make the move and start something before Sam could get involved. But, it’s like some weird brother thing; they can always tell.”

“I don’t know what to do. I feel like I ignored too many lessons, and the universe is super mad at me right now.” You sighed, your attention grabbed by the waitress dropping another drink off. You mumbled a small thank you before she disappeared again. “I like them both, but I don’t want to hurt either of them. I don’t want to get hurt. The whole thing is fucked up.”

“May I offer my opinion?” He asked, mischief laced in his tone. You gave a nod, figuring that anything would help at this point. “I don’t think you’re going to hurt them nearly as bad as you think.” He assured you. “Yeah, obviously, however this goes, someone is bound to be disappointed, but they’ve been playing this game for years. If you like both of them, play the game with them.”

“Encourage it?” You were in disbelief that he would even suggest it.

“Yep.” He confirmed, no hesitation in his voice. “Listen, they started this whole thing. They think it’s okay to play with your feelings, so play with theirs, instead. Maybe teach them a lesson.” He explained. “Don’t let them run things. You’re in control here, even if you don’t think you are. Have fun with them, and hopefully they’ll see what they’re doing is wrong.”

“You’re evil, Daniel.” You contemplated the idea while finishing your final mimosa, feeling positively tipsy.

“No, just think it’s time they got some karma. They have to learn eventually, they can’t do this for the rest of their lives.” He said, throwing his cutlery and napkins on his plate. “As long as you think you can do it without hurting your own feelings.”

“I’m so pissed off at them that I don’t even care about that.” You chuckled, but it wasn’t funny. The statement was completely truthful.

“So teach them, and then we can eat our brunch in peace. When you do, hopefully they’ll never do it again.” You weren’t expecting Danny to side with you in the matter, but you especially weren’t expecting for him to cheer you on. As you listened to his story of the years he spent dealing with them, you understood why he was telling you to do it. Knowing Danny, you could only assume that there had been many instances where he had to do damage control because of Jake and Sam’s childish behaviour, and he was sick of it. Plus, he seemed quite annoyed with the amount of broken hearts that have ensued because of the brothers tyranny.

Part of you thought it was crazy, that there was no way you could do that to the boys. The other, angrier part of you thought it was a great idea. After only two days of turmoil caused by their behaviour, you were in shambles. Now, knowing that they were completely aware of their own actions, you had no issue handing it right back to them. “Okay.” You agreed. The liquor definitely had an impact on your decision making, but not enough for you to worry about it.

“There. Problem solved.” He smiled. “Maybe that lesson you were dreading wasn’t really your lesson after all.”

You both left the diner with a little more pep in your step than before. Your fears were settled, but not fully resolved. Still, the sense of doom that was looming over you seemed to ease up, and you accredited it solely to Danny. Without his words, you would still be drowning in your own misery. You spotted your car, making a move to get in the drivers seat. As you reached for the handle, you paused yourself, realizing that you were in no state to drive. You reached into your purse, fishing out your keys, and turned to see Danny already holding his hand out for them.

“All yours,” you said, dropping them in his palm. “Forgot.” You let out a giggle.

“Whatever,” he rolled his eyes, sending a playful smile your way. You walked to the other side of the vehicle, getting in to the passenger side. Once you had your seatbelt buckled, he began the journey home. You connected your phone to the speaker, clumsily tapping the screen to unlock it. You hit shuffle on your playlist, not having the mind to scroll through and pick a song.

You turned your head towards the window, letting your eyes take in the sights as you passed by. Your mind was spinning with thoughts, but none stuck out as they passed through. Most were a jumble of topics from the previous day’s events, no coherent nature to them. You wanted to check your missed messages, just to see what they’d been saying, but you couldn’t find the strength to do so. You were angry, still, upset that they had no issue involving you in their mess and seemed to have no remorse over it. Even so, the urge to talk to them, to be with them, touched by them, was growing more urgent by the second.

Danny was right; it would be impossible to ignore them. That left you with two choices; play along, or let them play with you and get hurt in the process. You still weren’t certain that the first option would keep your feelings safe, but it was worth a try. Even if it didn’t, hopefully it would ensure neither would pull a stunt like such ever again. “I think I drank too much.” You stated, another giggle laced in your words. He glanced over at you from the drivers seat, giving you a grin.

“Guess that was my fault.” He chuckled.

“No,” you shook your head, smiling softly. “You helped, a lot.”

“I’m glad.” He replied, turning down the street your home was nestled on. “I’m always available for free therapy and alcohol.”

“I always appreciate it. I appreciate you.” You said, watching your driveway creep into sight.

“I appreciate you, bug.” He shot back without missing a beat. The pet name made your heart warm with affection. He really was your best friend, always your biggest comfort and favourite person. Nobody else compared to him, and you hoped that no matter how the situation played out, you’d still have him by your side. A small, selfish part of you wondered why you couldn’t just fall for him; he was funny, sweet, and genuine. Any time spent with him was worth more than the world, and he was beautiful, too. For some reason, it was written in the stars that he was to be your best friend, but that was more than okay. A life with Danny as your best friend was a certain promise of a good one. As much as it sucked dancing with the devil, or the Kiszka brothers, rather, it was meant to be. Even while you wished it away, hoped you could fall out of their grasp and into someone else’s, there was a part of you that loved being loved by them.

He parked your car in its usual spot, getting out to open your door for you. He walked you to the house, stepping inside and closing the door behind you. You both went to the living room, collapsing on the couch with exhaustion, as if you’d just ran a marathon. “You’re stuck here.” You laughed, finally realizing that he didn’t have his own car with him.

“I’ll call a cab, don’t worry.” He assured you, grabbing his phone to do just that. As he found himself busy telling the company the address, you reached over to the chair beside the couch, grabbing the acoustic guitar Jake had been playing earlier that morning. As he hung up the call, you plucked at the strings mindlessly, eventually switching to a chord progression that you had grown to know very well. “Dinner and a show?” He teased, still in awe that you had hidden your talent for so long.

“You know, it would be a lot of fun to come with you guys.” You thought aloud, dismissing his joke.

“You should.” He affirmed your idea. “Even if you just came for a part of the tour.” You let out a low hum, letting him know you heard him without having to respond. Instead of pushing you further, he leaned back into the couch and watched you as you played. Once you were certain he wasn’t going to speak again, you began to sing along to the music, to the song you loved so much. Jake had pegged it as your nickname, and at first it was endearing, but the more you listened to it, the more the words resonated with the ache settled deep in your chest.

“Rock on, Gold Dust Woman

Take your silver spoon, dig your grave” you looked to the fretboard, feeling the need to focus harder because of the alcohol swarming in your system.

“Heartless challenge, pick your path and I’ll pray

Wake up in the morning, see your sunrise loves to go down

Lousy lovers pick their prey but they never cry out loud.“

You sang the rest of the song, breathless by the time you were finished. Danny had a smile stuck on his lips, understanding that sooner or later you would agree to their offer. He could tell how badly you wanted to say yes, but your anxiety was holding you back. You were thinking of the offer, too, but something more pressing came to kind in light of the song choice. Or the mimosas. Or both, maybe. You weren’t sure. Either way, Jake Kiszka had inevitably made his appearance in your thoughts once more, but it wasn’t like he had left in the first place. His presence was always existing within your brain somewhere, even if it wasn’t at the forefront.

It was horrid, never being able to escape him, but it was phenomenal all at the same time. In the last twenty-for hours, he helped you feel more alive than you ever had before. His touch was still lingering in your skin, electrifying every nerve. The memory was fantastic, but nothing compared to the real thing. He was addicting; his company was no longer a want, but necessary for survival. You wondered if you would ever be able to live without it, quickly realizing that you never wanted to find out. Before, the thought of not having Jake around was terrifying, but after having him so intimately, the idea was debilitating, stealing the air from your lungs and crushing you under its weight.

“I could listen to you sing all day, but I gotta run.” Danny broke you from your thoughts. “Plans for tonight, can’t get out of them.”

“Cheating on me, Daniel?” You let out a tsk, showing your displeasure. He let out a laugh, shaking his head.

“Could never do that to you, darling.” He said, as dramatically as possible. You put the guitar to the side, standing up with him so you could give him a proper goodbye. You pulled him into a hug a bit tighter than usual, catching him off guard. It only took him a second to return the gesture, wrapping you in an aura of comfort.

“Thank you for everything. I feel a lot better.”

“That’s what I’m here for.” He assured you. “I love you, and I’ll talk to you soon?” You nodded, head still pressed to his chest.

“I love you.” You said, parting ways with him. “And yeah, I’ll update you.” You smiled, your secret plan solidified by your words.

“Give them hell.” He said, a tone of pleading hidden in the joke. With a wave, he disappeared around the corner and the front door sounded a moment later. The second the door shut, the emptiness of the home already started to seep in.

You gathered your thoughts, shaking away the haunting feeling of seclusion, and made your way to your bedroom. Once inside, you switched the power on to your record player, resuming whichever vinyl you had left from this morning. You let your eyes flutter closed at the hum of the song cutting through the silence. Another vibration from your phone caught your attention, suddenly remembering the messages you had intended to ignore. Now, with Danny’s words sounding in your mind, and your first chance at alone-time, you channeled a new courage to reply. Your fingers pulled the phone from your pocket, eyes immediately drifting over the screen. There were a few texts from your own band mates, and when they could come over to practice. You made a mental note to respond to them later. You moved on, seeing Sam’s name adorned on a missed call. You opted to focus on him later, your eyes seeking the contact you wanted to deal with first.

The notification bar from Jake had three messages. When you tapped them, you expected to be met with filthy words to fuel your desire to get back at him. Instead, the first was a small message of thanks for letting him stay the night prior, confessing his enjoyment. It was simple, not detailed, but enough to make your heart beat a little faster and a blush to make its way onto your cheeks. The second message was a well wish for your lunch date with Danny, saying he hoped you had a good time. The third was much different, more on par with what you had expected from him.

Jacob

Let me know when you want to share some more secrets, Gold Dust Woman

You felt a surge of emotion rush to your stomach, the words so simple, but the feeling so large. It was so easy to give in to him; he barely had to look your way and you were jumping at the chance to be noticed by him. It was crazy how fast the dynamic changed, how quickly he became so important to you. Without a second thought, you were already typing a response.

You

What kind of secrets would you like me to share, Jacob?

You hit send, not expecting a response considering you had waited so long to reply. Before you could even shut the screen off, the text bubble appeared on the screen, signifying his presence in the chat. A smirk pulled at the corner of your lips, happy to see that he was on your hook just as much as you were on his.

Jacob

I can think of a few

You

I’m sure you can. Care to elaborate?

His response was almost immediate, as if he’d pre-typed the words in anticipation of your question.

Jacob

Still wearing that red thong from earlier, or was that just to show off?

You enacted a plan as soon as the text was delivered and you processed what it said. You threw your phone on your bed, quickly shimmying out of your clothes and discarding them on the floor. The alcohol was still buzzing through your veins, your decisions heavily reliant on the false confidence the champagne bestowed upon you. You retrieved your phone, making a move to stand before the mirror on the opposite side of your room. You pulled up your camera, taking a few pictures from different angles, clearly showcasing the red fabric he was so curious about. The pictures that included the matching bra was just out of generosity.

You sifted through the pictures in your camera roll, picking the ones you thought were the best. You swiped back into his chat, reading his message over again. Instead of saying anything else, you sent the few photos you deemed acceptable. You went to the kitchen, unable to find a care to put your clothes back on, and turned your phone screen off. You scoured the fridge, finding a bottle of wine unopened and patiently awaiting your arrival. As you poured yourself a glass, you listened to the repetitive vibrations of incoming text messages. You looked to the clock on the wall, noting the time. Then, you took a seat in a chair and enjoyed the beverage you had fixed for yourself.

After a few moments, the texts ceased, leaving you to sit in silence and ponder your actions. You sipped away at the bitter liquid, refusing to give in to the temptation of answering him. When your glass was half empty, the vibrations resumed. This time, it was an incoming call. The ticking of the clock caught your attention, realizing you’d left him on edge for about fifteen minutes. You figured if you let it go much longer, he would show up at your front door. The thought itself wasn’t terrible, and you certainly wouldn’t mind the company, but you decided you wouldn’t push him that far. His incoming call ended, but it wasn’t long before another one sounded. With a smile on your lips, you picked up your phone and accepted his attempt to reach you.

“Hi,” you said, cheerily, as if you had no idea he had been blowing up your phone. “What’s up?”

“Ignoring me, sweetheart?” His voice was low, no angry tone or hint of annoyance. The soft inquiry sent a rush of arousal through you, just knowing that you had bothered him so badly was enough to send you spiralling.

“Why would I do that?” You asked, tipsiness laced in your voice. He picked up on it almost immediately, thinking your new-found confidence was a result of the alcohol. In truth, he wasn’t completely wrong. Although you and Danny had devised the plan, the execution was heavily reliant on intoxication. For some reason, sobriety did not help your case with either brother. Their charm and wit held you in a chokehold, any time you had the courage to retaliate, they made another move to make you submit. Despite your lack of control, it was still quite enjoyable. Now that tables had turned, that he was the one sitting and thinking about you and slowly driving himself to insanity, you had to admit that it was enjoyable, too. Maybe even more so, if you had to choose.

“Don’t be a tease, angel.” He hummed, the sound of his voice through the phone sending a shiver through you. You thought you might give in, throw the act away and beg for him to come over, but you bit your tongue and powered through.

“I thought that’s what you wanted to see, baby.” You played innocent, taking another sip of wine to keep the spirits high. Your head was buzzing, swimming with many thoughts. Most were filthy, focused mainly on how badly you wished he was in front of you, rather than on the phone. It was ridiculous how fast he consumed your entire being. Thoughts of his hands, his tongue, and how good they felt when they were on you. You missed him, even if you opted not to say it aloud. It had only been a few hours, but it was much too long for your liking. “Was that what you wanted, Jacob?”

“Fuck,” he muttered under his breath, bothered by your use of the pet name, bothered by the sultry tone you were speaking in. A smirk formed on the corner of your lips, cocky enough to know that you had power over him, too. “Yeah, it was, baby.” He conceded, unwilling to argue the point. “You still didn’t answer my question.” He stated, not willing to let you off the hook so easily.

“What was your question?” You asked, one last attempt to get under his skin. He let in a long breath, trying his best to stay calm while you made it a point to piss him off.

“Why were you ignoring me, angel?” He was heavy on the terms of endearment, leaving you unsure if it was because they were genuine, or if he was using them to coerce an answer from you.

“Wanted to piss you off.” You admitted, feeling no need to lie to him. “Did it work?”

“Mhm,” he mumbled his response wordlessly. Even without an explicit affirmation, you could tell it did just by his tone change. He had expected the answer, but it didn’t seem to make him feel any better. “Didn’t know you were such a brat.” He noted.

“Maybe you just bring out the worst in me.” You snipped back almost immediately. He let out a chuckle, but it wasn’t because he thought your words were humorous. It radiated a tone of shock, as if he was trying to tell you that you had no idea what you were getting yourself into.

“Careful, sweetheart.” He warned. “Don’t make me come over there and fuck that attitude out of you.”

“You’d like that, wouldn’t you?” You teased. He could hear the smile on your lips through your words, making it difficult for him to keep up with the act. He found your joy infectious, and the teasing fun, in a greater sense than just sexual. He enjoyed all conversations shared with you, even if there was no sexual gratification. He just loved being around you.

“I would, but I don’t think you would.” He said, simple enough to get the point across, but powerful enough to worsen the growing ache between your legs.

“Maybe you’re the sadist.” You theorized, throwing his own idea back in his face. If only he knew how badly you lived to please him, his previous accusations of sadism would be laughable.

“You’ll have to wait and see. I’m sure you’ll find out soon enough.” His voice was soothing, even if the topic was filthy. You could listen to him speak all night and never get bored. He was devastatingly perfect, and he made it easier to fall for him every time he opened his mouth. Without thought, you opened your mouth to speak, letting the wine take control of the conversation.

“I miss you.” The statement was quiet, but impactful. In reality, the three words were barely loud enough to catch a normal listeners attention, but the sound was deafening, to him. When you were met with silence, a fizzle of regret formed in your chest, wondering if you took it too far. You would take it back, pretend you never said it or bury it so deep down that could never surface again, just to ensure he wouldn’t hang up the phone; the last thing you wanted was to scare him away.

Although drunk, your feelings were true. You did miss him: you wanted to stay wrapped up in him forever, whether it be just with basic comfort or with sexual nature. You didn’t care, as long as he was with you. In three days, his presence had not only caught your attention, but made home within the walls of your house. Feelings for him were blossoming from every angle, immersing you within them and tying you down with their roots. It only took three days for Jake to make you a fool for him, three days to produce a feeling that rivalled your feelings for Sam. If you thought you were in too deep before, you were drowning, now.

That’s the funny thing about love; it cares little about who it’s next victim is, only about the fatalities it leaves in its wake.

Despite equal consent to the game, fatality was most definitely the prize. By choosing to be ignorant to risk, all three of you willingly sealed your own fate. No amount of repent could save you from the consequences. Deep down, you were well aware of that fact, but the sin was so pleasurable that it no longer mattered.

“I miss you, Gold Dust Woman.” The words only solidified your desire to ignore the risk. It was the most beautiful statement you had ever heard, and it was laced with sincerity. Imbedded with so much emotion that it made your head spin, wondering if it was even possible for someone to speak with such unwavering clarity. As if he, too, realized the extent of his vulnerability, he quickly spoke to cover it. “I miss being inside you, more.” The sweet tone quickly turned into one of desire, but both of you knew it was a lie. He desperately missed the mornings activities, his arms wrapped around your waist with a kiss placed to your neck while the smell of coffee lingered in the air. Smiling and laughing, singing along and poorly dancing to the hum of the record player. Taking turns playing guitar for each other, him dedicating every song to you but leaving it unspoken. He missed the moments of silence, more comfortable than any other, where he could hear your breathing steady while your eyes fluttered closed, enticed by the idea of falling back into a slumber. He missed the fleeting feeling of you being his, and his alone. Even if the idea wasn’t wholly truthful, he liked to pretend it was.

And in a way, you were. Every part of you belonged to him in some sense, even if other forces were trying to pull you away. But neither of you would ever speak those thoughts aloud, scared of the same things, even if the ones you focused on were not the biggest threats. Instead, you played along, sad that he felt the need to discredit such a genuine confession, but relieved that you didn’t have to explain your own. You both fell in step with the devil once again, ignoring the ache in your hearts and covering it with animalistic attraction and half-truths. If only you could both hear how loud he was laughing, pleased that you carried on just how the devil intends.

“You know there’s always a place for you between my legs, baby.” You whispered, the low tone shaking him to his core, settling in his bones and breaking them under the weight of the statement. It was unspoken that the confessions of emotion would be ignored, as always. It was just the way things were. You could practically hear his need for you through the phone, even if he didn’t say anything.

“Is that what you want?” He posed the question in a derogatory manner, as if he was trying to make you to feel shameful for wanting him so badly. You could see through it, knowing that he just wanted to hear you admit your desperation for him. “You want me, baby?”

“Mhm,” You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. As you realized that, you also realized how badly you wished you could see him. Before responding any further, you clicked the FaceTime icon on his contact. Within seconds, he accepted. The screen lit up with his face, immediately giving you a sense of relief. You took in the sight, noting he was sitting in his living room. You had only been to his apartment a handful of times, but you knew it well enough to recognize it. “Hi,” you smiled, almost forgetting the nature of the conversation.

“Hi, beautiful.” He disregarded the vulgarity for a moment, too, just so he could admire you. The blush that spread across your cheeks caused a smile to break out on his lips, too. He noted the wine glass in the frame before his eyes inevitably landed on your attire, the adoration in his eyes quickly fading into lust. The distant look let you know that he was already imagining what was beneath the flimsy red fabric. Remembering what lie beneath. As much as his expression enticed you, you couldn’t let him get away with it without making a comment.

“Eyes up here, Jacob.” You scolded, catching his attention again.

“Expect me not to stare when you look like that?” He asked, a smile still lingering on his lips. “Sadist.” He smirked, the word bouncing between you both, accompanied by pointed fingers and accusatory tones. Perhaps both of you were the sadists by continuing your entanglement without caution or worry about the future.

“I know how much you love the red, but I think you’ll love what’s underneath it, more.” You said, eyes never leaving his face. You could see the muscle in his jaw tense at the thought, proving you were correct.

“I think red is your colour, sweetheart.” He noted, disregarding your words. As bad as he wanted you to remove the clothing, he’d be caught dead before admitting you were right. “Sit back, baby. Let me see the rest of you.” The order was firm, making sure you knew that it was not a request. You propped your phone against the wine bottle, obeying the instructions and leaning back in your chair, allowing him a better view. He let out a sigh, content with the sight of your mostly exposed upper body.

“Like this?” You asked, bringing your hand to your chest and gently running your fingers over the edge of the cup on your bra, gently pulling it down in the process. It was enough to tease him, but not enough to show him what he was hoping to see. You let your finger linger for a second before releasing the hold. The fabric drifted back to its original position and you let your fingers trail down your bare torso.

“Just like that.” He affirmed, visibly bothered by the show you were putting on. “Be a good girl and take that off for me.” His plea was covered with dominance in attempt to hide his neediness, but it wasn’t working. Part of you wanted to give into the request; with the way he was looking at you, it was hard to want to deny him of anything. But, that little devil in your head was as angry as ever, now fuelled by the knowledge Danny had given you.

“Come over and take it off yourself.” You replied, trying to remain unbothered by his pet names. His eyes flashed with discontent, fed up with your continuous disobedience.

“You want me to come over?��� He asked, playing into whatever game you were trying to start with him. You gave a nod, knowing that he wouldn’t be able to withstand the temptation for much longer. “You need someone to take care of that ache between your legs? To make you feel so good that you can’t remember your own name?” His tone was soft, sympathetic almost, but the flame ablaze behind his pupil and the slight tension in his jaw led you to believe he was being quite misleading.

“Yes, please.” You pleaded, ignoring your worry about his honesty. The arousal pooling between your legs was beginning to feel uncomfortable, like a constant, dull pain that would eventually drive you crazy. Something about Jake always led you to believe that life without him would lead you to the brink of insanity. The constant talk of want, or desire was quite minimal compared to how you truly felt about him. Necessity was closer to correct, depending on his touch more than your own heartbeat to keep you alive.

“You need someone to take care of that pretty little cunt,” he deducted, taking in a long breath at the sound of his own words. He was just as worked up as you, debating throwing his plan in the garbage and getting in his car that instant. “And you know I’m the only one who knows how to do it right.” He finished, finding the strength to stay seated and continue his merciless taunts.

“Please come over, baby. I need you so bad.” The words slipped out easier than any you had said before, the strength you had to endure his words was breaking apart every time he opened his mouth.

“I know, angel.” He hummed, soothing you for just a moment. You thought he was going to give in, to tell you he would be there in a minute, but when he spoke again, you wish you’d never started the battle in the first place. “I want to help you out, but you haven’t been very good for me. Being a tease doesn’t get you what you want, baby. You know that.”

“Jake, please. I’m sorry.” You begged, that feeling of familiar dread filling your stomach. “I’ll be good for you, I promise.”

“If I give you what you want, you won’t learn anything.” The irritation that grew from the smirk he was wearing was unbearable. You couldn’t genuinely believe that after the entire call, he would have the nerve to deny either of you the pleasure of spending another night together. “Go take care of yourself, sweetheart. Just think of me when you do.” Your teeth were clenched, frustrated that your efforts seemed to have no effect on him.

“Just come over, baby.” You tried once more, but his mind was made up.

“If you do what I say and behave, I might come and see you later.” So that was his plan; like always, he was willing to give in, but he felt the need to ensure you would suffer, first. “Another picture might help, too.” He sent a wink your way, so subtle that you almost missed it. Before you had a chance to respond, he had ended the call and you were met with the disappointing sight of your screensaver, wishing you had one more minute to admire the sight of his face.

You had two options: deal with the issue yourself, wait it out and hope he would feel generous enough to pay you a visit after a while, or call a cab and go to him, first. As much as the second option was tempting, you knew if you did so, it would only fuel his ego even further. He was well aware of the power he held over you, and running to him would only solidify the idea in his mind. Waiting to see if he would come over might do the same, but at least you would have the upper hand. By the time he showed up, your overwhelming need for him would have time to simmer. Then, you could give him a taste of his own medicine.

So you sat, sipping away at your wine, thinking that it wouldn’t be too difficult to wait it out. The closer the bottle got to empty, the more confident you felt about the situation. If he wanted to be an asshole, you could be, too. His request for more pictures would go unanswered, and he would have to give in. Even in your drunken state, you were aware of the power you had over him, too. Confidence did not equal satisfaction, though. You nursed the last of your wine until he showed up, or until you found something better to do, quickly realizing that time would not satisfy your craving for him. With every minute that passed, you hoped the feeling would fizzle away, but the more you ignored it, the worse it seemed to get.

Eventually, as you drained the last few drops of your glass for the second time (you had to make sure it was completely empty, of course), you heard a knock sound at the front door. A jolt of energy surged through you, realizing you had won the battle without putting any effort in at all. You stood, leaving the empty bottle on the table for decoration, and wasted no time following the sound of the knock. When you reached the front door, you ran your hand through your hair, straightening yourself out to look the best you could for him. Before opening the door, you ever so slightly peeked through the blinds.

In your drunken state, it seemed blatantly obvious that it was Jake standing outside. The tuft of brown hair that caught your eye was so familiar, immediately showering you with relief. But, if you looked for a moment longer, you might have clued in that opening the door in your current attire was a mistake. Had sobriety been in the question, you would have noticed the distinctive difference, how the body was taller, a bit more slender than the boy you were looking for. Maybe, it was possible you did notice, but we’re too blinded by excitement to cognitively understand that Jake was not the one knocking on your door. You wished to see him so badly that you overlooked any possibility of it not being him standing there.

When the door creaked open, you had a smirk on your lips, ready to throw his bluff back in his face. Instead of grasping the feeling of satisfaction for Jake’s failure, dread bled into every nerve in your body. It took a moment for both of you to understand exactly what scene you had found yourself in, but when you came back from the shock, you couldn’t even find the right words to express how you were feeling. Your limbs were frozen, unable to shut the door again and your heart was stuck in your throat. Sam’s wide eyes and parted lips showcased his matching emotions, also void of a proper response. Even in his complete surprise, he couldn’t help but feel his gaze drifting over every exposed part of you that was offered. If you wanted to be dramatic, you could even go as far as to say he was drooling at the sight of you.

After a moment of staring, you took a step to the side, covering as much of you as possible behind the solid door. “Do you greet everyone like that, or am I interrupting something?” He said, clearing his throat, joking to subtly to pass off his blatant gawking.

“Um, no… and no, I guess.” You squeaked, cheeks red enough to match the fabric that was barely concealing you.

“Expecting someone else?” The corner of his lip upturned into a smirk, finding humour in the awkward moment. He knew you were likely expecting his brother, but his cockiness allowed him to use the knowledge to his advantage.

“No,” you said after a long bout of silence, trying to sound confident. The alcohol was sending the devil in your head into a drunken rampage. Your plan to play into their game was bouncing around within your skull, urging you to take the embarrassing greeting and make it into something better. If Jake wasn’t willing to give you what you needed, you were sure that Sam would have no problem helping you out. If they wanted to involve you in their mess, you should have no issue using it for your own benefit. You were both playing with fire, but the heat was gradual; welcoming at first, and only burning you after the fact, once you were too far in to turn around.

“So I showed up at the perfect time, then?” Your anxiety washed away, even finding yourself able to produce a genuine smile at his ridiculously childish response. Your eyes drifted over his face, taking in the details of his expression. He had recovered from his nervous state, too, but his eyes were still glistening with appreciation at the beauty of you before him. You could have shut the door, turned him away with an apology and let the memory die, but his beauty was captivating, and you were drawn in by the way he was watching you. If you had found yourself in the situation with a lower blood-alcohol content, the whole thing would have been ridiculous and terribly wrong. Maybe it was the wine, or the brunch conversations that lead you to the conclusion in which you were headed towards. It didn’t matter, anyway, because you had already made up your mind. You didn’t want to turn him away; you were eager to let him inside.

“I think so.” You agreed, playing into him.

“Red’s your colour, princess.” He noted, trying to catch another glimpse of what you were trying to hide from him without being too obvious. Just another blatant show that Sam and Jake were in fact brothers, and brothers indeed. Too alike for their own good, and too foolish to see the problem. “You should wear it more often.” His voice was quiet, much different than his usual chipper tone that sounded through an entire room. You had never heard him speak in such a way, except for the small moment shared in your kitchen. It was enticing, perfectly alluring and dangerously gratifying.

“You should come in,” you stated, not as a request, but a fact. He watched you for a moment, attempting to convince himself that you were serious and not just pulling his leg. When you kept your composure, no hint of anything other than a genuine nature, he made a move towards you. Once he was inside, you closed the door behind him with little thought.

Perhaps too much carelessness for such a grave decision that would ultimately seal your fate.

Lousy lovers pick their prey

but they never cry out loud

TAGLIST: @itsdannysworld

[blueiight]

something ive talked about casually but never made a post on is how armand’s name in amc iwtv s1 is rashid which translates to “one who rightly guides those [to god]”. rashid can also mean ‘a steward of true belief’ suggest ‘maturation’ in a spiritual sense [but maybe also a literal sense here lol]. in sunni islam, the first 4 caliphs [political leaders of a religious state] were the prophet muhammed’s closest companions, called the rashīdun [rightly guided ones] bc of their proximity to muhammed’s message, and sunni muslims are encouraged to take inspiration from prophet muhammed and his closest companions. this is really interesting when u think of one of book armand’s many names being amadeo, which is a theophoric name basically meaning it mentions god n specifically amadeo means “love of god”, whether its someone who loves god or is loved by god . dual meaning. marius bestowed armand this bc of armand’s piety & tortured relationship to faith, as well as likening himself to a god in a way thru re-creating armand as a vampire. this begs a lot of questions as to what the show intends for armand’s faith, least of all bc armand’s suicide attempt in mtd is driven [in part] by witnessing ostentatiously catholic proofs of a catholic god, and he spends hundreds of years enmeshed in catholic [or anti catholic structures that still operate on a catholic understanding of the devil/satan/god] & a few of those years locked away cuz of some catholics. theres a lot of things amc could do with a now muslim armand, especially bc he would be in an era where the tides of power change from muslim control in certain areas to christian control [tho idk how close he would be to them areas presuming hed still be in central euro + italy n the parts of italy he was at was like. always a bulwark of christianity in euro] & how very possible catholic incursions on his islamic faith / forced conversion even? may impact why he [or whoever deemed him rashid if not himself] likened him to a mere guardian of/ to god rather than beloved by god. or what if hes also rashid to indicate his stewardship over lou in s1 [‘i serve a god’] 🤔

[blueluneacy]

its time for my yearly post, real

ive been thinkin about dottore genshin impact lately. hes so silly :) did more of a horror aspect bc i like horror??? idk if youve been around long enough youll notice my slow descent into more horror based writings. but its ok, i like it!

on one hand you might be able to consider this yandere. on the other i think this is just how il dottore is in my mind. just a little creep. i wonder if hes single

tw: manipulation, blackmail, implied human experimentation

You were nothing to him. 

In some way or another, you knew that. You knew that you were lowly in comparison to him. You were a student, barely half way into a thesis while he was well… It’s hard to define what he was. An outcast, but a genius. Something out of your grasp, intangible and arcane. Maybe that’s what originally got you interested. You’re a student after all, driven by curiosity and a need for knowledge. Perhaps he liked that about you too. 

It was also that which was forbidden that intrigued you. That which you had seen scholars go mad for, he held in the palm of his hand. Things that you knew that were forbidden were always so delicious, weren’t they? You indulged in them, in what he could give you. It’s not as thought you didn’t give what you could in return, but really, what could you give a man whose power rivaled the gods? You should’ve known better. Your tutors, your peers, everyone could’ve warned you, did warn you, but you chose not to listen. 

After all, he did tell you that this version of himself was the most selfish. 

Perhaps then it wasn’t strange that you never saw what happened next coming. When he told you that it was time to leave Sumeru, you were shocked, almost baffled at the proposal. 

“I can’t just leave everything. I’m still working on my thesis, my friends are here, I still have things to do here.” You told him, as if your words would do you any good. He merely smiled at you, shaking his head as if your points were silly, meaningless. 

“I think you’ll find your research coming to a halt very soon regardless of if you leave or not. It seems that some restructuring will begin to take place here very shortly. It would be best if you were to leave, while you still had your dignity intact.” He always made himself sound so… Reasonable. It was something you once admired about him, but now, it was grating on your nerves. How easily he tossed aside your concerns. Had he always done that, trivialized the words you were saying like this?

“I can’t just give it all up. I’d hate myself if I did that. You should already know, that’s not the type of person I am. This is my life’s work.” You told him, immediately turning your back to him. He only gave you a small chuckle, shaking his head. 

“Oh please. It was an average thesis that’s frankly, derivative and uninteresting. Not to mention your advisor is about to lose his job. You don’t really think it’s worth it just to work 10 more years on something new once the dust settles, do you?” He made broad steps to close the distance between the two of you, leaning over your shoulder. You had always known that the man was much larger than you, but it was the first time you noticed that it made you nervous. Perhaps that was the first time you acknowledged him for what he really was. Not as a friend or a lover, but as the Doctor, a powerful, dangerous man. 

“Even so, I’m a student here at the Akademiya. I can’t pick up and leave just because you told me to. The answer is no.” You had to firm with him. If you weren’t, if you just went with him, you had a feeling that you would end up as nothing but a puppet, a pretty doll to look at for the rest of your life. What a shame that you hadn’t realized such a fact before it was too late. 

“Is that so?” He seemed more amused than he was angry. You winced as he leaned against you from behind, draping his arms over your shoulder in a way that he perhaps meant to be affectionate but felt more imprisoning with his inhuman strength. He leaned down to whisper in your ear. You shuddered as you felt his breath against you , a pit of fear forming in your stomach that threatened to come out as a scream. 

“And what are your plans as to what happens next? I’m sure that everyone would love to know how interested you’ve been with the things I’ve taught you these past few months. How interested you’ve been in that which you knew to be forbidden.” You froze at his words. Was… That his plan all along? To lure you in, and then blackmail you into never leaving? “Do you really think you could just get away with a slap on the wrist for this? Something as horrid as this, well, I doubt there would be must hesitation to sign your expulsion papers.”

“You… Why? Why are you doing this? Why me?” You could’ve help but let your questions tumble out of your mouth. You felt betrayed, but why? Shouldn’t you have always known the nature of this man? How he takes and takes, giving nothing in return. How absolutely foolish.

“Ah, look at that expression! How fascinating. I wonder, what else could I do to induce these emotions in you? Such lovely features being distorted with such despair…”  He cooed, running his hand over your cheek to wipe away a tear. When did you start crying? You reached up to feel your own tears, attempting to brush the Doctor’s hand away at the same time. 

“We’ll have plenty of time to look at more of your reactions once we reach home. I look forward to our continued work together once we reach Snezhnaya.” As his words reached your ears, you finally broke out of your fog, pulling away from the Doctor. You backed up a bit, but he so easily seemed to just step forward once more, not giving you any space. 

“I don’t care. Even if I become an outcast, I’ll bare with it. I… I can *redeem* myself, I won’t just let you take me away to some lab in a bunker somewhere to do who knows what to me!” You shuddered as thoughts raced through your mind of what might happen. Of how he might cut you open, the fluids he could pour into your body, the *agony* he could cause for you only to stitch you back together. You knew of the consequences though. Why are you so surprised when the chickens come home to roost?

For his part, the Doctor only laughed, leaning down and grabbing you by the chin. His grip was hard, and in the back of your mind you wondered if bruises would form later. He forced you to look up at him, examining your expression with a sort of cold clinical air that you should’ve been used to with him by now. 

“Oh, my dear… You act as though you ever really had a choice.” 

Despite your best attempts, the dam finally broke, and you let out a scream as the horror of the man in front of you finally set in. You thrashed, squirmed, cried, begged, pleaded, did anything you could think of to try and escape this, this agonizing situation that you only had yourself to blame for. 

And for his part, all the Doctor did was laugh. 

[earlysunshines]

i rlly hate how lust and sex driven twice-tumblr is for the most part. Like many of the most popular fics/esp smut fics are like, just bad porn. Like treating the members like just bodies and objects. I have nothing against smut like it can be good and have a storyline and real emotion in it (so your smut fics and some other writers) but so much of it is just empty sexualition of idols

i stan twice the most and don’t rlly know newjeans but i understand why you don’t write as much for them anymore :( but its okay i really like any fics of yours you’re one of the best writers i know on tumblr

sorry for my grammar im lazy and english isnt my native language🤧

“just bad porn” UGETITTTT like most of it is just empty sexualIatkon ive never been able to write smth like that without adding a lil storyline like idk how ppl just jump into it like that😭

aw you’re so sweet😭😭i’ll probably still post for twice here and there when i get random boosts of motivation tho trsut!!

[aidoneusnotfound]

First(ish) lord ares experience~ july 27 2024

(tw for yelling and abuse)

So, i just had one of the most vivid dreams of my life. like the second most vivid (next to lady asteria's reaching out to me 🫶).

I have lately been feeling very drawn to Ares, as in he was all i looked up all day. When i was on tik tok, i was scrolling through his hashtag. When i was on tumblr i was scrolling through his hashtag. you get the gist. So of course, as one does i researched him a little bit just to see what it would be that he even helps me with, because ive honestly never been drawn to ares in my life.

WELL, for context before this dream i had listened to this 'meet your deity' video on youtube. it was really nice, but it didnt really help me figure out if ares was reaching out to me. I also did a tarot reading to confirm it was ares, and that helped a bunch idk why i didnt do that first LOL. Basically it confirmed that yes, ares was reaching out to me, but not really to work with me, he just wants me to lean on him for support if that makes sense.

After that i figure "ok well its all set in stone might as well make him an altar!" and one of my favorite ways to make an altar is to make it in my mind, because theres no limitations in there. Anyways, the second im done with it and i have it to my liking, i feel his presence in one of the rooms with me. I was freaking out and trying to be formal because yk, divine being right here, but he was like "why are you trying so hard you dont gotta do all that here". and i dont remember much after that because i fell asleep.

OK CHAT NOW WE'RE GETTIJG TO THE ACTUAL DREAM PART BEAR WITH ME. Im gonna try to say all i can without invading my privacy, so some things might be vague.

I remember being driven to an airport by someone who really wasnt all that nice to me. we were going to a school to enroll my little sibling in for kindergarten, even though they were technically first grade aged. when i asked why my sibling wasnt in first grade instead of kindergarten, he says its because they never went to kindergarten because they werent developmentally ready for it.

thats a load of bullshit and i know it, so i ask him what he means by that. he says that they werent ready for it because at that age they still said they wanted to fly. WHICH IS A NORMAL CHILD THING TO DO???

And thats what i said too! i didnt back down and just sit in silence, i fought back!! i made him know that what he was saying was stupid and that he should be ashamed. even when he tried to scare me into silence, i still fought back and maintained my strength!! when i woke up, i just remember feeling ares' presence in my mind, as if he was the one driving me to fight back.

i confirmed it was him reaching out and not another deity i work with (lady asteria) and rushed to type this up.

[aromanticgarbage]

h3h3 said that joji ghosted him after he got famous, ian says they don't talk anymore too. I wonder if max was the only one he was really close with or maybe they just recently reconnected.

Ok that's a tricky topic of conversation. Read more because as always i cannot shut up.

H3h3 and iddubz don't really mean anything to me outside of their old filthy frank collabs. I actually actively dislike them. Yeah you read that right. Thats why ive tried to make the fact that i am NOT running a cancer crew blog here clear. I just hate iddubz's old solo content. Seeing him beat himself up online nowadays isn't great either but by god his old stuff is so so bad (to me). Internet drama and borderline hate speech is a recipe for disaster and if he was smarter he would have seen this coming. I understand that some people like his older stuff out of nostalgia but i am not affected by this. I was not into YouTube back then. Im still not into YouTube. I only know of him and h3h3 because im obsessed with their old homie. My perspective is different, these people barely mean anything to me.

Ok now, disclaimers aside. Ethan said that joji told him not to call him filthy frank when he was talking about his music and he personally interpreted that as him being embarrassed of his past. Personally its just clear to me that what joji was asking for when he was taking his first steps as a full time music artist was space. Being known as an ex youtuber can kill someones career and considering the sort of content he was making as ff it just doesn't seem weird to me that he wanted to separate the two lol. He gave countless interviews where he mentioned his old content and that he understood why people found it so hard to move on from such an iconic character but that he didn't like conflating the two. And even then, a few years later he was encouraging fans at his concerts to chant filthy frank so i cant help but feel like Ethan's assumption that he is embarrassed and trying to forget it ever happened is baseless and biased. And after that....well. Its pretty clear to me that h3h3 used to be enjoyed by people but its had a pretty obvious dowfall since then. Idc about Ethan's drama (or the man himself for that matter) but to be completely honest i wouldn't keep in contact with him either. Idk if you are one of those people who still enjoy his podcast but to me and to many others it just seems bad. Real bad. A lot of drama and too little substance.

Now Ian...Ian is definitely less clear to me as an outside observer. I may not like ~the old iddubz~ but joji obviously didn't have a problem with him. They always seemed to get along pretty well on all the behind the scenes and going through the cake trilogy together probably means that they developed something similar to a warriors bond. He was fun on their collabs. But alas, sometimes people who used to be close just stop keeping in touch. A lot of Joji's old college friends (pookie/david, the shaman/lewys, wheelz/tyrell) are no longer in contact with him and yet they all speak of him very highly. People online like to act like he somehow ""betrays his roots"" by not keeping up with people he collaborated with on youtube back in the day but youtube isn't his roots lmao. His high school and middle school japan friends have always clearly been very important to him and he never fell out off touch with them. He is often touring alongside Rei Brown and he has mentioned in interviews that he relies on these friendships on his day to day life (admittedly the interview im talking about was from 2018 but there's no reason to assume that he has suddenly stopped talking to people that he has been friends with since he was like 12 years old). At the end of the day he doesn't owe people online to keep in contact with anyone. People grow up and change and not all relationships survive the test of time. And thats okay. Stuff happens, people move on. For what its worth tho, i feel like iddubz's drama driven channel (because lets be fair the content cops were his biggest thing and they were youtube drama no matter how self righteous or fair they seemed at the time) didn't help. The thing about joji is that he had always avoided internet drama like it was the plague, which is once again one of those things that i appreciate deeply about him. I hate internet drama. But even my kinda biased opinion aside, the reality of the situation is probably very simple. They are both grown adults who live very different lives. They hanged out together during a few summers a lot of years ago. They followed different paths in life. It happens. Joji has been very offline for years now and i get the impression that he tends to isolate himself when his health acts up so its probably not that hard to fall out of touch with him.

And last but not least....Max. I won't lie, out of the cancer crew the only other person i actually like besides my man Joji is Max. Maybe he really was closer with Max, i certainly find him more likable. Around 2018 both Joji on twitter and Max on that one cold ones podcast episode said that they still keep in touch. Max was replying to a lot of Joji's tweets up untill the nectar era but once again, at the end of the day they live in different countries. I obviously have no way of knowing if they were still as close as they used to in the following years. Maybe they grew more distant for a while, maybe they reconnected around 2023 when joji took chad and max backstage at his concert, and then of course the wedding !! Its all very sweet, the gimme love Max and Chad video from the concert lowkey made me tear up.

But once again, at the end of the day they are all living their own lives, doing their own thing. And people who act like they owe it to them to be each others everything forever and ever because they met online a decade ago and collaborated on some extremely iconic videos make me laugh.

[elviraaxen]

im new here, so im sorry if this is a question youve answered before but tumblr's search bar failed me in finding this to be previous answered but.. uhmmm

c... can we make ocs/personas for Felt World? or would you rather we not or we hold off until further in?? bc i would love to make a puppet give our cowboy a smooch before he is, i assume bc he is a fucking catch and a half, taken off the market in canon lol i assume he wont still be single by the end. im a tad bit too embarrassed to ever post such drawings, but i wanted to know in case i ever did become brave enough to make them public if such you would be welcome to be tagged in or if that would make you feel uncomfortable

and also, for that purpose: as someone with disabilities, im really curious how disabilities are translated into Felt World? obviously not all of them, that'd take forever. but i was curious if they use mobility aids just like ours or if they use ones we could not have (an example of what i mean could be like "seal-chairs" in "Witch Hat Atelier"? they are chairs with hooves that run and jump, as opposed to wheels). and i know you said music is really powerful in this world, in both singing and instruments, but i wanted to also ask how in a world with so much focus on sound are the deaf/hard of hearing accomadated? deaf/HoH people can still play instruments, obviously (the most famous example being Beethoven), but i meant other than that

(also, if i recall accurately you once said that "the puppets have to speak to be considered sentient beings"? i was wondering if in the future could that be amended to "have to be able to communicate"? because i assume nonverbal puppets would still exist, as well as puppets who just dont speak much (whether thats a facet of deafness or nonspeaking shutdown or just a quiet personality). or would that break Felt World's world-building's logic in some way? that's a genuine question. i wasnt sure how to word it in a way that would minimize the risk of one being put on their back-foot, but i tried my best, it really is a genuine question)

(also, because i never like to assume fluency in disability-knowledge: if you need a resource on media portrayals of disability at any point, i highly recommend the youtuber, Oakwyrm. they do a lot of really cool analysis videos on disability. i do apologize if i am overstepping, and you are already largely fluent in disabled portrayals in media and/or already aware of Oakwyrm's existence. i just like to shout at least one resource out because i know many people have no idea where to look to learn more about general disability representation advice and whatnot. you do not have to watch their videos if you do not want to ♡)

also a bit of a tangent, idk if this is just a "for now" aspect of Donna due to her adjusting or if this is a core pillar of her personality but... just, thank you for making a feminine character who cries a lot and is emotional with Big Feelings. ive always felt more connected to the Dorthy Gales, Cinderellas, Clarisse de Cagliostros kind of heroines who are a bit of a "damsel in distress" (tho i do think that term reduces a lot of their agency and bravery) and i feel a bit lonely that we dont see many emotional-vitality-driven heroines who need some help as much as badass heroines or sassy heroines, both of whom are fully capable of getting shit sone alone. makes my cry-baby disabled ass feel a little pathetic (im very physically weak because of my chronic health issues, and am the type of Autistic ADHDer who is very sensitive to getting big feelings), even tho i know those types of heroines are valid and needed. i resonate a lot with AJR's lyric about "But I'm weak. And what's wrong with that?" even though i know im taking it out of context

and im sure Donna will prove herself capable of being on her own and having her own agency, same as all the heroines ive listed, i dont assume she will be stagnant, but i just wanted to really thank you for making a character that i relate to. i dont get that often. it makes me feel a bit abnormal and strange, and i mean moreso than the "well youre neurodivergent and sickly" kind of abnormal that would be implied. like. Weird Kid sitting alone at lunch kind of strange. so its really cool to see Donna and feel less lonely, is what im saying. i wish there were more heroines like her for people like me nowadays, rather than the archetype being reduced to "archiac stereotypes" (which i both do and dont understand the logic of. it depends on context and the example given) and therefore shelving a type of heroine we dont see in a lot of contemporary media (in exchange for a heroine we didnt get to see often (if at all) in past media, the sassy and badass ones, i do get it, and im glad theyre being used more as they should have always been. there are a select few of both camps that feel like "women have to be as stereotypically masculine as possible to be worthy of being called 'a strong character'" when i think strong characters have less to do with personality and more to do with "do they direct the narrative's plot? do they have agency?". but i could be wrong about that and i am getting off-topic)

but yeah. just. overall: thank you for introducing Donna to be like she is. it means a lot to me to see a heroine like her in contemporary media. im really excited to see what youll do next ♡ but yeah, i know im babbling a lot here and you dont need to reply to this half, i just really wanted to stress my thanks and WHY you have my thanks ♡♡♡ i really appreciate having Donna sit at my metaphorical lunch-table with me, even if she has to go sit somewhere else later. its been really nice to be beside her

thank you ♡

ps. i wasnt sure how to format this Ask because i know some people like to have each section have their own Ask for compartmentalizing/tag-organization reasons, but others like it all to be together so they know its all from one person as opposed to the anxiety of "ahh why did i get so many Asks all at once, did i do something wrong, do people hate me-- oh. its fine. i went through that rollercoaster for nothing. dear lord, am i drained now". so i tend to rather assume the latter, just in case; but do feel free to screenshot and section these out into their own posts if you are the former, i wont mind if youd rather do that ♡ have a nice day!!

Oh my goodness what a long message!!! 0.0!!

I had to take a few hours to think about everything to make sure I answered everything. But I should start off by showing my gratitude for the amount of time and effort you put into formulating this! So thank you, this was a really cool ask to receive <3

As for OCs, absolutely you can! I've already had a few who've made theirs, and I have no rules at all when it comes to shipping or self inserts or anything, as long as everyone is being respectful towards each other ^^

As for the disability aspect, I have a few key points that I want to explore in regards to especially deafness and muteness (is it called that? muteness?), but that's further along the story and will be introduced later! Also how song vs instruments work in this world is a part of the lore itself that'll be explained further down the line too, so no need to worry about our fellow mute or deaf/hoh peeps!

I have of course thought about mobility aids and other disability accommodations (because they can be born with defect, illnesses, and be injured pretty much like us, their bodies are a bit more fantastical but there are still rules) but i must admit didn't think further other than to give them similar mobility aids that we use. But clearly it would make more sense to make something more fantastical! I'll give it a thought! That's probably gonna be a fun design exercise ^^

I'm not sure if I can answer the entire ask in a way that does it justice, it's quite frankly the coolest message I've gotten, I'm gonna try and not let it get to my head (lol),

but i'm so glad you and seemingly many others seem to like Donna and appreciate her specifically for being sensitive and reacting strongly. It shouldn't be but it's really daunting to write female leads because as we know people just don't like women in media generally, but I eventually just got over it because I realized I was starting to write a character that demanded the audience cared and respected, rather than showing a story that I had fun telling, in a world worth exploring.

And not to spoil but I've already decided I do not want Donna to go through an arc where she's forced to abandon her emotions or go through something physically traumatic in order to "become tough" to be respected, that's not only overdone but lame and harmful wish fulfillment. So no worries in that department!

But anyways, I don't think I can properly say how appreciative I am of this ask!!! It really warms my heart that you and other people are going out of your way to send me asks about my little story that I came up with on a whim!!! It's truly the best compliment as a creator.

<3