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aromanticgarbage · 4 months ago

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h3h3 said that joji ghosted him after he got famous, ian says they don't talk anymore too. I wonder if max was the only one he was really close with or maybe they just recently reconnected.

Ok that's a tricky topic of conversation. Read more because as always i cannot shut up.

H3h3 and iddubz don't really mean anything to me outside of their old filthy frank collabs. I actually actively dislike them. Yeah you read that right. Thats why ive tried to make the fact that i am NOT running a cancer crew blog here clear. I just hate iddubz's old solo content. Seeing him beat himself up online nowadays isn't great either but by god his old stuff is so so bad (to me). Internet drama and borderline hate speech is a recipe for disaster and if he was smarter he would have seen this coming. I understand that some people like his older stuff out of nostalgia but i am not affected by this. I was not into YouTube back then. Im still not into YouTube. I only know of him and h3h3 because im obsessed with their old homie. My perspective is different, these people barely mean anything to me.

Ok now, disclaimers aside. Ethan said that joji told him not to call him filthy frank when he was talking about his music and he personally interpreted that as him being embarrassed of his past. Personally its just clear to me that what joji was asking for when he was taking his first steps as a full time music artist was space. Being known as an ex youtuber can kill someones career and considering the sort of content he was making as ff it just doesn't seem weird to me that he wanted to separate the two lol. He gave countless interviews where he mentioned his old content and that he understood why people found it so hard to move on from such an iconic character but that he didn't like conflating the two. And even then, a few years later he was encouraging fans at his concerts to chant filthy frank so i cant help but feel like Ethan's assumption that he is embarrassed and trying to forget it ever happened is baseless and biased. And after that....well. Its pretty clear to me that h3h3 used to be enjoyed by people but its had a pretty obvious dowfall since then. Idc about Ethan's drama (or the man himself for that matter) but to be completely honest i wouldn't keep in contact with him either. Idk if you are one of those people who still enjoy his podcast but to me and to many others it just seems bad. Real bad. A lot of drama and too little substance.

Now Ian...Ian is definitely less clear to me as an outside observer. I may not like ~the old iddubz~ but joji obviously didn't have a problem with him. They always seemed to get along pretty well on all the behind the scenes and going through the cake trilogy together probably means that they developed something similar to a warriors bond. He was fun on their collabs. But alas, sometimes people who used to be close just stop keeping in touch. A lot of Joji's old college friends (pookie/david, the shaman/lewys, wheelz/tyrell) are no longer in contact with him and yet they all speak of him very highly. People online like to act like he somehow ""betrays his roots"" by not keeping up with people he collaborated with on youtube back in the day but youtube isn't his roots lmao. His high school and middle school japan friends have always clearly been very important to him and he never fell out off touch with them. He is often touring alongside Rei Brown and he has mentioned in interviews that he relies on these friendships on his day to day life (admittedly the interview im talking about was from 2018 but there's no reason to assume that he has suddenly stopped talking to people that he has been friends with since he was like 12 years old). At the end of the day he doesn't owe people online to keep in contact with anyone. People grow up and change and not all relationships survive the test of time. And thats okay. Stuff happens, people move on. For what its worth tho, i feel like iddubz's drama driven channel (because lets be fair the content cops were his biggest thing and they were youtube drama no matter how self righteous or fair they seemed at the time) didn't help. The thing about joji is that he had always avoided internet drama like it was the plague, which is once again one of those things that i appreciate deeply about him. I hate internet drama. But even my kinda biased opinion aside, the reality of the situation is probably very simple. They are both grown adults who live very different lives. They hanged out together during a few summers a lot of years ago. They followed different paths in life. It happens. Joji has been very offline for years now and i get the impression that he tends to isolate himself when his health acts up so its probably not that hard to fall out of touch with him.

And last but not least....Max. I won't lie, out of the cancer crew the only other person i actually like besides my man Joji is Max. Maybe he really was closer with Max, i certainly find him more likable. Around 2018 both Joji on twitter and Max on that one cold ones podcast episode said that they still keep in touch. Max was replying to a lot of Joji's tweets up untill the nectar era but once again, at the end of the day they live in different countries. I obviously have no way of knowing if they were still as close as they used to in the following years. Maybe they grew more distant for a while, maybe they reconnected around 2023 when joji took chad and max backstage at his concert, and then of course the wedding !! Its all very sweet, the gimme love Max and Chad video from the concert lowkey made me tear up.

But once again, at the end of the day they are all living their own lives, doing their own thing. And people who act like they owe it to them to be each others everything forever and ever because they met online a decade ago and collaborated on some extremely iconic videos make me laugh.

#sorry this took me ao many days to actually answer i kept getting distracted by jojis Instagram posts #joji #ask #anon #a whole lot of yapping going on here i genuinely just cant shut up #anyway !!!! thanks fpr your question !!!!!#also pls remember that most of this is speculative thx. i don't actually know these people irl #im just basing my opinions on what they have chosen to share with the world

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stateswscarlet · 1 year ago

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but what if I genuinely don't want to do ANYTHING to get my desire, I just want to wake up and BAM it's there. Do you think that's possible? and please don't say "it depends on you and what you believe in your reality." I want to know what YOU think.

Why are you asking me? Do my beliefs and my state manifest in YOUR reality? Didn’t think so. You don’t need my validation at all, im some random chick on the internet who loves studying and teaching the law.

So yes anon it depends on you and what you believe in your reality, lmao.

But I assume you’re wanting MY personal opinion in MY reality correct? So I also assume you’re not going to cry and throw up and spiral to everyone else that “Omg scarlet said this!!” because you asked for MY OPINION.

(and this goes to everyone else reading this - I better not catch anyone spiraling in someone elses ask box about “scarlet said this, is it true?? is it real?? what do i do?” because I know DAMN WELL yall LOVE taking stuff out of context and blurt it to other creators without giving them the full story. So if you’re going to go throw up your spiral in someone else box, let them read my ENTIRE answer before you make me look bad.)

So since anon asked for MY PERSONAL OPINION IN MY REALITY I will share MY OWN PERSONAL BELIEFS THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ANYONE ELSES REALITY BUT MY OWN.

I don’t believe in MY REALITY that its possible to magically wake up in another life. I don’t believe in “magical” manifestations. I don’t believe in anything that isn’t already natural or COULD NOT BE experienced (even as a teeeeeeeeeeeny chance) by someone living on planet earth and all its laws. I don’t believe in manipulating physics, growing wings, changing your age and physically becoming a 10 year old from a 45 yeat old, changing your race (thats weird as fuck so idk why you’d do that anyways), transforming into a magic fairy, turning into a sorcerer who can teleport and mind read, or waking up tomorrow as taylor swift.

The way I learned and understood and firsthand experienced the law is:

1. The law is natural. It has ALWAYS been at play. It is ALWAYS working FOR EVERYONE. Even unconsciously we are all manifesting based off the law and our state. It works THE SAME WAY for everyone regardless of who you are.

2. Our consciousness, YES it is LIMITLESS has chosen FOR THIS LIFETIME a HUMAN experience that is bound to the 3D. Our consciousness has chosen an earth experience as its home, as its experience for our life that we are aware of. It CHOSE this (limited) 3D world as its experience and WANTS to experience what a human is capable of experiencing. The law exists amongst other laws like physics. Yes we are god, but we are GOD EXPERIENCING ITSELF THROUGH A HUMAN. WE CAN GOD IN HUMAN FORM. Not literally an all knowing powerful entity who can turn off gravity and create an ice castle in a blink of an eye.

So if you’ve lived your whole life never hearing of anyone that has magically woken up in a mansion in LA when they were just asleep in their studio apartment in Antartica, it would be pretty difficult to believe that to be true today. Now if you HAVE heard of that or firsthand experienced it, know someone who has, now thats a different story because again, IF YOU BELIEVE ITS POSSIBLE IN YOUR REALITY THEN THAT IS WHAT YOU WILL EXPERIENCE.

I personally have never heard of anything magical happening nor have I ever seen it with my own eyes so in MY REALITY its not possible in the slightest. I don’t see myself manifesting waking up in a completely different life with a new name, age, set of parents because first of all, I would freak THE FUCK out, that sounds SO scary and disorienting?! Maybe i’ll believe it when I see someone in real life flapping their wings, teleporting, and waking up in a brand new place with a new name/age. And I don’t mean people on here with success stories online, I mean people physically and/or people who don’t know the words “law of assumption” experiencing it (as I said up in number 1, the law is the same for everyone).

When I see “manifesting is illogical” I take it as we cannot conceptualize HOW something would happen. That is what ILLOGICAL means. It doesn’t mean that when you blink, a fat stack of a billon dollars is going to appear in front of you. It means YOU CANNOT PREDICT OR KNOW HOW IT WILL HAPPEN AND NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU TRY, IT WILL STILL HAPPEN IN A WAY YOU DIDNT EVEN THINK OF. Same thing applies for the “there are infinite realities, theres one where im living that!” YES you are correct! There is a reality where you have a huge mansion next to Kylie Jenner, and so there would be NATURAL STEPS TAKEN to make that a reality that would be the BEST way for YOU.

I believe in a natural bridge of incidents (it would have happened anyways or it makes sense how it happened after it did kind of thing) that is perfectly and best suited TO ME. Trying to “wake up” in a new life is messing with the how, because if you knew by the end of next week GUARANTEED you’d be living your dream life, would you give half a fuck about what steps needed to be taken for that? NO because you would just NATURALLY take them WITHOUT EVEN THINKING as part of the bridge! So yes, becoming a millionaire quickly is 100% possible, dating a celebrity is also 100% possible, moving into a huge mansion when you’re currently homeless is also possible, healing an illness is also possible, and so is manifesting an sp you don’t know/do know, and manifesting a career you’re not qualified for/rejected for because all of these things and everything else in between are things which humans can already experience (even as a very slim, nearly impossible chance) with or without knowing the law. I firmly believe the law isn’t magic.

I already know someone is gona be like “what about so and so success story? what about xyz stories? are they fake??”

When I say that I GENUINELY DO NOT GIVE A SINGLE THOUGHT thinking if someone’s success is true or not, I 10000% mean it. Who am I to tell someone else they’re lying or ask for proof? In THEIR reality they experience different beliefs than me and thats 100% okay. I dont care what someone is or isn’t doing in their reality. I don’t care if they’re lying or scripting because how does that affect me? I still believe in the law and love my natural and “limited” perspective and still get things reflected in the 3D in a natural and effortless way. I don’t need nor want proof of it because no one owes anyone any successes or proof that they manifested something and this goes for me too. I will say however that no one should be relying on other peoples successes on the internet and instead use the law yourself to be your own success story. We (myself included) are at the end of the day, random strangers on the internet who you don’t know. Why would you place your life in our hands? Study the law yourself from source and be comfortable with your own beliefs instead of asking me or anyone else “is this possible” instead ask YOURSELF if ifs possible for you.

Not to mention i’ve literally known people from other communities (reddit and subliminals community) who posted “impossible” successes yet were in my DMs saying how “gullible” others are and how none of that happened. It makes me sad knowing people would post anything fake, but I know that others lying has nothing to do with me and everything to do with them. This is why I said that YOU NEED TO BE YOUR SUCCESS instead of relying on others because we aren’t special or unique, we are all regular people too.

Also I will NOT BE ANSWERING ANY ASKS RELATED TO CALLING ME LIMITED, BEING RUDE, TELLING ME OFF, ETC it will be INSTANTLY DELETED. This is MY PAGE WHERE I SHARE MY BELIEFS. DO NOT go around to 10 other creators venting that “omg scarlet said i cant magically wake up a kpop idol!” because if you’re spiraling over ONE random persons beliefs, im sorry you need to do better and go apply the law. If you are going to be throwing up elsewhere, make sure you link the entire post.

Call me limited all you want, im not stopping YOU from getting what YOU believe to be true.

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valdotpng · 3 years ago

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What were the nuances in revali’s character in botw? He just seemed like an asshole to me, I’m wondering what I missed.

hi hello so since i like him a normal amount (<lie) i have decided to just go ahead and analyze his whole character under the cut bc i have a Lot of thoughts abt him. hope thats ok w/ u!

ok so. where to even start. i guess lets start at the beginning? one of the things that kind of differentiates revali from the other champions is the fact that he wasnt born nor elected into a position of power. he isnt royalty, nor is he some sort of chief, meaning that there have never been any societal expectations or responsibilities hes been tied to-- every expectation for himself was set By himself, and boy howdy did he raise the bar high. every victory, every single accomplishment, the title of 'master revali' he owes to himself and himself alone. hes a self-made man! (or uh. bird guy) which is fascinating in the context of the games narrative, because it seems to almost always favor 'heroes of legend' or 'chosen ones' of sorts

which brings us to the next interesting fact about him

im pretty sure its canon that revalis gale is the only champion ability entirely Created by the champion using it. think about it for a second. daruks protection, urbosas fury and miphas grace all seem to be blessings somehow bestowed upon them since god knows how long. with revali though, we get to actually see him develop the thing. we see him struggle, time and time again, to accomplish something thats never been done before. ("...As you know, us Rito use our wings to fly forward. The wind lifts us up into the glorious sky above. However, we cannot ascend on our own.") all because he wants to and kind of has to prove himself to the world

"... I am close. So close to mastering my new move and showing everyone what I'm capable of."

"Not enough. I must stay in the eye of the whirlwind... must push myself harder..."

usually hes sooo high and mighty, but in the dlc memory, we get to witness the game show another, hidden side of him. it.. really did something to me, the first time we were allowed to see him vulnerable like this. hes so hard on himself... and its clear that all of this business takes a great toll on revali, both physically and mentally, yet he pushes on. that is, in my opinion, very admirable. and all of that is why i think he has every right to be proud of himself, just... *gestures vaguely @ how much of a prick he can be* Not Like This, lol

i think its no secret that revali has some self-esteem issues. ...a lot of them, actually. if you couldnt tell by now, he is very dependent on how the public sees him. imo pretty much all of his self-worth is tied straight to it + the things hes achieved so far. so when beloved 'master revali' ends up being 'a sidekick' to a seemingly random hylian knight, he IS going to get upset

this gives some context to his disdain for link. from revalis perspective, the hero of hyrule is someone who didnt earn his title, but instead obtained it by mere chance, by simply pulling out some sword out of a rock. we, of course, know that isnt true, and that link has his own share of struggles, but we arent revali. his negative feelings are understandable in that context, but i most definitely do not condone how he acts upon them

good thing hes like, the one champion that undergoes a noticeable change of attitude/a character arc of sorts during the base game !! a much-needed one, at that. thats right, it is now time to overthink every bit of dialogue he says during the vah medoh mission LOL

"Well I'll be plucked... You've defeated him, eh? Who would've thought. Well done. [...] I do suppose you've proven your value as a warrior. A warrior worthy of my unique ability."

at first, when we enter vah medoh, we're greeted by his usual snark and sarcasm, but his tone gradually evolves into something at least a Little bit warmer as link progresses. with every terminal, every little victory the surprise in his voice rises-- hes finally starting to see what our hero is capable of ("There are two terminals remaining. You're almost there (..!)" "Just one terminal remaining! [Huh] What do you know?"),

and it all culminates when...

"I can't believe I'm actually saying this... But you must avenge me, Link!"

there, he swallows his pride and admits that hes in a desperate need of links help. and, by defeating windblight ganon, link gets a chance to prove himself before revali.

then, once hes left alone with his thoughts, we get to see it:

"After all these years, I simply must admit the truth... [...] [Link] accomplished something that even I could not... Guess I was wrong about... how lucky he would be."

even though he doesnt fully allow himself to admit it out loud, i think the overall tone and subtext of the scene gets the point across: revali has finally realised that he was wrong about link.

hell, at one point he even considers the possibility of actually Losing to the hylian in a duel ("Win or lose, I would have liked a chance to settle the score with you.") which, in my opinion, is also very significant.

these little bits of extra dialogue you can hear after challenging the blights again give us more insight into his character. one of the most notable ones imo being the one where revali asks about his hometown ("...I cant fathom that it's been 100 years... There's no one left who would even know me. But even so, it will always be my home.") revali IS a jerk, but he isnt a selfish one. he is capable of caring for other people, and hes capable of growth and self-reflection

theres more to be said about him (i could ramble on and on about all the OSTs associated with him, about the flight range, about how the conflict he brings into the narrative is refreshing, about how he cares that there are children looking up to him etc etc etc), but i feel like this post is long enough already. TLDR: revali is undoubtedly an asshole, but i believe that theres more to him than that; in my eyes, he is one of the most interesting characters out of the cast, and its a shame that one has to do so much digging in order to find all of this... well. depth.

but anyways. thank u so much for reading if youve made it this far! i hope this was an at least somewhat comprehensible and interesting look into his character. uh. um. dont forget to like and subscribe and-- [REVALIS GALE IS NOW READY.mp3]

#putting this under a read more bc. boy howdy . that is a lot of words #val.txt #btw its totally okay if you still dont see him as anything other than an ass after reading this #it takes a lotta effort to see him in another light #i just do bc my brain has unfortunately decided to latch onto this character #hes one of my faves if you couldnt tell already lol #kinda unrelated but GOD i forgot how funny he can be

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strawberry-muffin-crisis · 2 years ago

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Coming in hot from the kotlc fandom, asking if you would be willing to rant about Sophie (In general or as the main character, you choose) because I saw your other rant and you raised some very good points. Especially the self insert oc. I'm still raging from the fact that she rejected Dex and /then/ kissed him to say "Hey, this is ultra mega delux proof that I don't like you"

Boy howdy you better believe I'm willing!!

Also thank you for the ask, this is the first one I've gotten like this and I'm so excited :D

So first of all, if anyone needs a recap of what I've already said concerning Sophie and her undeserved position of the main character, find it here: https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/smoltolmuffin/685796011734712320?source=share

Sophie kissing Dex to prove she didn't actually like him:

Makes me think of that GIF. You know the one.

Yeah, that one.

First of all: WHO DOES THAT? Who even has the courage as a-- *googles this* 13(?)/14(?) year old to kiss somebody you might have a crush on?? Maybe elves are just Built Different™, but based on what we've seen of their emotions/encounters so far, they seem to function similarly to humans, so idk.

But seriously. Which preteen(???) girl actually goes "omg okay close your eyes i wanna try something" and then actually does it? And then actually stays in the same room as the dude she just kissed??? And then is casually like "huh. no that doesn't vibe at all, maybe we shouldn't see each other for a while"?

Idk but if it was me (which it wouldn't be, I'm not that brave), I wouldn't do it in the first place, and if I did for some reason, I'd immediately get the heck outta Dodge, if you catch my drift.

And it really wasn't fair to Dex either! (I could go on an entirely separate rant about how Dex is one of the most underrated, overlooked, underappreciated characters in KOTLC, but I'll spare Ye Olde Mutuals for now.) That poor boy really did have a puppy crush on Sophie. Imagine if your crush was like hmmm im gonna kiss you (experimental). You'd be stoked! And then your crush kisses you(experimental)!! You'd want to explode with happiness!!! And then your crush says "nah fam lol", and where does that leave you?

Sitting in the Friendzone with the rest of the fallen.

Not cool. I'll probably always hate Sophie for that.

Sophie in general as "the Gifted Kid"

The kid needs a break. In my opinion, her role as The Chosen One Who Is Not Like The Other Girls has gone to her head. Sure she's tired of the war, and sure she's sick of being so depended-on, but does that stop her from effectively flipping the middle finger at any (and all) authority and running headlong into more danger without telling people the plan? Heck, does she even HAVE a plan?? Because if she did then either I'm stupid (which is an entirely valid and possible option) or there isn't any plan, other than the extremely vague "defeat the Neverseen", WHICH, in my eyes, has dragged on FAR too long.

Give us the defeat of the Neverseen back in Everblaze. Give us a new threat--something else going on in the world besides "oh no. they're still here. oh no. time to not actually be able to end their terrorism, despite the fact that I am in fact Sophie Foster, the OP Fortnite Kid of literally every YA author's dreams. Or nightmares. Who knows."

Give us some other problem in the world! Give us something that doesn't require one (1) tween girl (how old is she at this point? i lost track??) and the boyband ft. some girls to go save the world yet again because of a COMPLETELY ORIGINAL TROPE, namely "all adults are stupid. ALL of them".

Some people could argue here (you know who you are and I love you :D) that Sophie has adequate reason not to trust the adults in the series, especially the Council, especially the Black Swan, especially-- oh wait. We're not trusting anyone. That's right, my bad. After giving Sophie a break, we're gonna give these tropes a break. Kay? Good. It's about darn time.

If we have to have a global war(?) going on, give me someone with experience (not Sophie!!) and a good place of mental stability (again, not Sophie!!!!) to be in charge of fixing the world's problems. Let an adult do it. Why aren't the adults doing it? SHANNON??? Each time I try to come up with an explanation for why the adults in this series are so incompetent, I get worked into a corner because? what are they doing? We haven't seen enough behind the scenes with the Council to make any speculations on "are they actually the bad guys or is Sophie just going through a particularly strong rebellious phase".

We could talk about Sophie being the leader of Team Valiant. And then right after that, we're gonna talk about how hard we cringed at that awful team name (YOU KNOW YOU DID. WE ALL DID.) I gotta agree with Keefe on this one-- Team Fancypants would've been better. Anything but Team Valiant, oh my GOSH.

It's really not fair that the OP kid gets to be the coolest. Fight me if you wish, but isn't it about time that some of our beloved side characters got some more attention? I'm mainly thinking of Dex here. Why can't Sophie take a backseat for once?

~~~

so i've tired myself out...

if this made enough sense and you'd like me to rant more please leave a comment saying so or drop another ask 💀, if you want me to lock myself in a closet and never do this again...

understandable, have a nice day

#kotlc #kotlc rant #rant #kotlc fandom #kotlc sophie #sophie foster #kotlc keefe #kotlc fitz

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sneakydraws · 4 years ago

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Well, here it is - a lengthy explanation of each card in my mdzs major arcana deck and what I meant to convey/what i would have changed in retrospect/what alternatives i considered! It’s a bit messy and my typing style is lazy but hopefully it will be an interesting read to some of you :)

And so you don’t say I didn’t warn you - jiang cheng’s section (11 justice) is absurdly long lmao

0 the fool I elaborated on this in the post itself but yeah basically jin ling is kind of representative of all the damage and trauma caused by the past, and there’s a kind of danger there of him falling victim to the same vices as the older characters and repeating the same mistakes and perpetuating the cycle of war and misery (the cycle that we already see with how the jin sect became the new wen sect, and later with how jgy became the new wwx) and he has a lot of room to grow! He grows so much over the course of the novel, comes to realise the complexities of the past and gets a harsh life lesson in how nothing is as black and white as it seems. But ill save talking about his progress for the end, for now whats important is that he has room to grow and also a dog. I don’t really have a justification for the sun, i mostly just thought it looked sick? It made its way to the next card as well, where it makes a bit more sense, but then i realised it was a dumb motif to include 1 the magician I still very much like wwx for the role, and that illustration would have probably had him raising a corpse on his left and pointing threateningly to the sun on his right. I considered including the table as well, with some mdzs relevant items replacing the card suits. Anyway, like i said wwx got a few cards to himself already so i went with the alternative wq design, since i think she fits the card as well. Both she and wwx are highly skilled people, extremely driven once they set their mind to something. The card to me symbolises the creative mind as well as a general drive for action, which fits them both - wwx was famously a prolific inventor, and wq came up with a previously unheard of surgery, after all. This card strays pretty far from the rider-waite deck design, largely because i was still figuring out how i wanted to approach this series, but you can still see the influence. 2 the high priestess I was actually going to skip this card at first because I couldn’t think of a fitting character, but once i considered a qings character post death, it all fit pretty well. She was already a highly intuitive person in life, and in sharing her memories with wwx she is, in a way, relaying a kind of secret knowledge. Anyway she’s one of my fav characters so im glad i got a chance to include her. The coffins could be interpreted to be xxc and sl or xxc and xy 3 the empress Theres other mother figures in mdzs who got to be mothers for a longer time, but jyl definitely embodies the positive aspects of this card the best. She’s nurturing, kind, emotionally supportive, she already mothered wwx and jc quite a bit when she was young. Plus i liked that the rw card had both water and flowers, making an easy lotus connection. In retrospect the stars look kind of out of place and i should have replaced them with something more relevant... Also, i should have had her hold a lotus seed pod instead of a flower, haha 4 the emperor Like i said I considered jc for the role but hoching bullied me into admitting that nmj was better… they’re both more of an inverted emperor than an upright one but then again theres hardly any character in mdzs who would fit upright emperor so. Jgs was also considered but he’s even uglier than nmj so i couldn’t bear to draw him 5 the hierophant It was pointed out to me that lqr would have fit this card better and the truth if that statement haunts me to this day. Unfortunately I have no space in my brain for lqr so lxc got the role instead. My main reason was his role during the wen destruction of gusu lan, when he ran away with the contents of the library - this is why there’s bookshelves behind him. The keys, take, from the rider-waite deck, are meant to represent the gusu pendants that allow you to enter 6 the lovers Im sure many people would have chosen wangxian here but I uhh don’t really care abt wangxian personally? And also their love story is so convoluted that jyl and jzx seem idyllic by comparison lol. Also i didnt really have an idea for who to put in the angel’s place for wangxian… mme jin certainly did not get these two together in the end but undeniably she and mme yu did initially give them a chance to fall for each other so. Thats something i guess. Anyway the trees became their sects’ flowers and the mountain became the burial grounds - an omen of their tragic fate, basically 7 the chariot There might have been other characters who fit this card better but i couldn’t really think of another card for lwj and i thought it would be weird to not include him… anyway i don’t really care for current timeline lwj BUT i do like that he was clearly influenced by wwx to walk his own path in life based on his moral convictions rather than follow his sect’s rules blindly. The chariot is to me a card of self control, self determination and focused action, so it seemed fitting. The composition felt kind of empty without the actual chariot so i padded it out with the guqin, the cloud recess in the bg (it doesn’t look great but i tried to replicate the drama design….) and the bunnies which conveniently fit the colour scheme of the sphinxes in the rider-waite design 8 strength Like i said before, my interpretation of this card is more… morally ambiguous than the quote unquote official meaning, so i thought about manipulative or duplicitous characters more than kind characters whose strength is expressed through gentleness (though i did consider jyl briefly for the latter interpretation). As such, i considered both jgy and nhs, but ended up going with jgy largely because i couldn’t pass up the opportunity to put the nie sect’s beast as the lion. 9 the hermit My thoughts immediately went to bssr lol. It may be an overly literal interpretation but whatever, i like it just fine. And i like that i managed to echo the rider-waite silhouette in the mountain and the tree (and even in bssr herself) 10 wheel of fortune God i love the parallels between these 2… this card to me is about how you cant trust your current situation, good or bad, to last forever, and these 2 embody that perfectly imo. Wwx went from son of a well off servant and a powerful cultivator, to street rat orphan, to adopted son of sect leader jiang, to double orphan, to MIA, to terrifying but admired warrior, to terrifying and despised traitor, to dead, to, at the very end, suddenly respected and trusted again. The dishonesty and cheapness of whatever the public’s current opinion of him is is portrayed beautifully as far as im concerned. And jgy of course claws his way up to power only to instantaneously become public enemy number one, to the point that he’s probably blamed for stuff there’s no reason to believe he had a hand in. Wei wuxian’s silent astonishment at how quickly the cultivation world turns against jgy and towards him again is a delicious moment of thematic resonance. 11 justice I settled on this card for jc after he got booted from the emperor seat but i do think it fits, in a somewhat convoluted way. I turned both the sword and the scales into visual representations of the golden core transfer (can you tell im obsessed with it). According to biddy tarot, the justice card is partly about searching for the truth, and the scene where jc finds out about the transfer is of course a big deal. I was also very influenced by the reversed meaning again - which is about being reluctant or unwilling to face or accept the consequences of your actions. I feel on an intuitive level that this fits jc but I’m not sure how well i can explain it - it’s something about how he’s a little too comfortable scapegoating wwx for things that were also, if much less so, influenced by his actions, and also something about the way he keeps wwx at an arm’s length emotionally but still leans on him and accepts his support when he really needs it, and somewhat hypocritically expects wwx to put the needs of him and the jiang sect before the needs of others. And also something about the core exchange is the consequence and proof of wwx’s deep - terrifyingly deep, even - love and care for him, which is something jc doesn’t seem to let himself acknowledge. Maybe even something about how you could argue that the way all of the jiangs acted around wwx - jfm’s favouritism that left him with the feeling of a debt he needs to repay, mme yus insistence that he be a servant more than a brother to jc, prepared to give his life for jc, and jc’s own unwillingness - or inability, he was a child after all - to clearly acknowledge wwx as an equal to himself, enabling wwx’s self sacrificial and protective tendencies - that all of this was what caused wwx’s complete and unquestioning willingness to do whatever it took to protect jc, and therefore paved the way to the golden core transfer. And i don’t mean this to be scapegoating jc - especially considering how young he was when this all went down, it wouldn’t be fair to expect this level of emotional perceptiveness, awareness and maturity of him - but i think adult jc has to grapple with the fact that the chain of cause and effect was not as simple as wwx fucking everyone’s lives up to be a martyr, and that both jc and his parents had a role in that story as well. I don’t even necessarily think this is something that jc only realised in the current timeline - i think it’s something he felt on some level this whole time, and it probably led to a lot of feelings of guilt - but the suibian reveal definitely puts it in sharp focus, and i think he’s now better equipped to handle this introspection than he was as a recently orphaned, traumatised teenager, lol. ANYWAY the window with the fabric is both a nod to the rider-waite design and a reference to the destruction of lanling - i actually did some basic ass research for this, and it seems that in ancient china fabric would indeed be hanged in a window if the normally used paper was damaged. The design of the window, as well as the very idea to use it to imply the reconstruction of lanling, was taken from this great piece of jc angst by my pal moroll1! Oh yeah also the covered window kind of works as a denial of forgiveness for jc because it’s like a halo but covered up... Also I completely forgot to put a blindfold over his eyes which would be perfectttt because blind justice and the core exchange......... ok moving on 12 the hanged man I always have issues with this card because i cant find a satisfactory summary of what it’s really about. Best i can tell it symbolises a need to hit pause, surrender or let go of something… ive also seen it tied to sacrifice? So mo xuanyu doesn’t fit perfectly, but sacrifice is definitely there in a surface level reading kind of way, and the idea that you have to surrender or let go in order to achieve your goal does fit the whole deal of getting revenge but giving up your life in exchange and not being there to see it 13 death This is probably one of my favourite cards, definitely not because I have huge issues with change or anything…. I see this card as signalling the necessity of change or putting an end to something / leaving something in the past in order to start anew? At first i considered putting past wwx, mxy and current wwx here as a kind of transformation and one cycle flowing into the next... But firstly, I’d already used mxy in the very previous card, so putting him in again would feel like overkill, and secondly, the longer I thought about it the less convinced I was that this would even fit with the card’s meaning? Because coming back from the dead doesn’t like... trigger an internal transformation within wwx or anything? Anyway, fun fact: the design I ended up going with was actually originally intended for judgement! I thought I was being very clever with the whole “figure plays an instrument and the dead rise” parallel, but apparently I’d just completely forgotten that the judgement card had a completely different composition... Truly I was boo boo the fool... But yeah anyway at the end of the day I figured the design would kind of work for death as well, with Wen Ning and the theme of transformation, (since in his case coming back as a fierce corpse does actually mark a certain transformation in behaviour) and Wei Wuxian’s protection of the Wen people essentially signifying an attempt to break the cycle of oppression if that makes any sense? Like, wwx is trying to revolutionise the way the world works a bit, if you catch my drift 14 temperance The centrist card! Again this is probably going off track from the “official” interpretation, but to me this card has a certain “don’t commit fully; do everything in moderation; don’t take either side” flavour to it that i personally find infuriating irl and that i very much assign to lxc. It’s entirely possible that I’m misinterpreting his character because i didn’t really pay him (and the 3zun in general) much mind while reading, but hell, I’m allowed to pick favourites and choose who i want to interpret deeply vs shallowly. Again, i wish id chosen lqr for hierophant because its so annoying for a character i don’t care about to get two cards…. But oh well 15 the devil My alternative idea for this was jgy as the devil and lxc plus nmj as the figures, but since all three had been featured already (multiple times, even!) i figured I’d go with xy instead, especially since he’s among my faves lol. I think the devil signifies something along the lines of unhealthy attachment, obsession or addiction, which isn’t 100% accurate in the case of xxc and a-qing, but if i stretch it a bit to cover toxic relationships in general, and especially manipulation or negative influence, i don’t think it’s half bad. My main struggle here was to choose who amongst the xxc/sl/aq trio to choose for the human figures. 16 the tower Arguably jin zixuans death and the following massacre of nightless city were the final and most direct reason for the siege of burial mounds, and the tiger seal is good shorthand for wwx’s loss of control over his powers, which led to the deaths of jzx and jyl. When reimagining major arcana i like to feature some kind of building in this card (spoilers for a possible future project but in my rose of versailles major arcana set the tower is bastille) and even if it’s not a tower, the image of wwx looming over the gathered crowd from atop a rooftop is so good i couldn’t resist 17 the star Struggled with this one - considered both jin ling and lsz for it, as symbolising a hope for the future, but that was kind of covered by the world so it wouldn’t make sense to include here as well... As usual when I struggle with interpreting a card (as opposed to understanding it but struggling with matching a character to it, like with death or moon) I went to biddy tarot and read all the details about its meaning. What i got was that this card signifies an incoming period of introspection and inner peace following a time of turmoil, as well as a general moving on into a new, better phase of one’s life or finding new meaning and purpose. The figure also suggests someone vulnerable, but possessing a keen sense of intuition as well as a good degree of practicality and common sense. Given all those, I settled for mianmian because IM LOVE HER..... I also kind of see her as a prelude to the “just one person is enough” theme present in tgcf!! And i think her decision to abandon her sect because she saw the toxicity and corruption in it is a very inspiring action - even if it didn’t make a large visible impact, i think the appearance of her and her idyllic family at the very end of the novel - paralleling and mirroring wangxian - implies that at the end of the day, it was a meaningful one 18 the moon Another card i ALWAYS fuxking struggle with - this time less because i can’t grasp its meaning and more because I can never find a character that fits it well. I usually get fixated on the “dreams and subconscious” part, but if i lean more on the “disguise, deceit, anxiety and fear” part, i eventually figured the whole yi city arc wouldn’t be a bad fit. I say the entire arc because it really does encompass all those themes if you include both the past and the present - xue yang’s disguise, his tricks with the villagers, a-qing’s lies and even xxc’s reluctance to talk about his past as well as xue yang pretending to be xxc all fit the disguise and deceit angle, and the general mystery and creepiness of the current timeline yi city work well with the anxiety and fear - the mist, the slow uncovering of the past, even a-qing being revealed to be an ally after scaring the shit out of the protags. I definitely struggled with including all the elements and characters, and even moreso with making them vaguely fit the rider-waite composition, but i think it ended up okay ish. OH and i completely forgot to draw mist swirling around them :( 19 the sun I was considering mianmian’s family for this one, but since I used her for star, I ended up with wwx and his parents instead. Once again I’m reinterpreting the card a bit - normally I think it symbolises incoming times of pure happiness and abundance, as well as a connection with the inner child, but I gave it more of a nostalgic or sentimental twist - wwx looking back at the brief glimpse of his happy childhood. 20 judgement another card that i struggle to interpret a bit... Here i actually used the tgcf tarot zine as a reference! In it judgement is summarised as “rebirth, following duty, absolution” SO i figured that nhs, mxy and wwx all together would fit pretty neatly... wwx achieving (public) absolution through clearing his own name after being reborn, and nhs sort of calling on wwx to expose jgy’s crimes... It’s a bit messy but not bad I think! 21 the world This ties very closely to my read on mdzs as a story - which is that it’s, at the end of the day, largely about cycles, and about how hard it is to break them, but how we gotta keep trying and have hope anyway. Or maybe more precisely, that the people directly involved with and influenced by the trauma of the past might not be able to get over said trauma and that the hope for healing from it will be shouldered by the new generation. Or something like that… Basically what i mean is that jc and wwx and lwj and lxc and nhs and jgy and all these people who were in the thick of the sunshot campaign and the siege are so profoundly affected by it that it genuinely feels by the end of the story like there is little hope for them to ever truly overcome that trauma and build a better future without repeating the same old mistakes - but there is a glimmer of hope in the new generation, specifically in jl and lsz. And it’s a bit paradoxical, because they have also been directly impacted by the past tragedies - lsz having his entire clan wiped out after wwx failed to protect them, jl losing both his parents to wwx’s mistakes - but despite that loss, and despite coming from arguably the two opposing sides of the past conflicts, they are both, in the end, capable of moving past that tragedy, of recognising the complicated nature of those conflicts (jl’s moment of clarity at the end is both heartbreaking and hopeful) and forging friendships between clans in the process. I honestly think that the extra where jl is struggling to assert his authority as sect leader, to treat his subjects well and to cooperate with other sects in a truly amicable way is the single hopeful ending note for the larger themes of the novel - it allows us to imagine that maybe these kids can learn from the mistakes of their elders rather than getting sucked in by resentment at those mistakes, and actually build a brighter future for the cultivation world. And sidenote, this is also why i have a soft spot for jin ling and lan sizhui as a ship... speaking of which their poses were directly referenced from the lovers card ehehe

Looking back, I’d like to add some symbol of jin ling’s trauma so that it mirrors baby wen yuan in the tree stump... maybe his father’s sword?

#mdzs #mo dao zu shi #tarot

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partyinthemysterymachine · 4 years ago

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as a classic cats fan what did you think of the 2019 movie?

FOREWARD: i have full respect to those who enjoyed CATS 2019 and show their support and engage in that part of the fandom. rock on. very truly, honestly, sincerely, i hope you have a blast and create and share and have the best of times. welcome to the fandom, it’s great to have you here; thank you for joining us and i really, really do mean that from the bottom of my heart and soul. it really makes me happy that CATS has become something good for you like it is, and has been, for so many of us. i’m ecstatic to see the fandom expanding and i’m so very serious about that.

unfortunately this is the time to jump ship if you don’t want to hear any more complaints about it. thank you and ilu all and once again, welcome to the fold, i love that you’re joining us and y’all being here honey butters my toast xoxo

there was a 2019 movie?

runs hands down face

from the very first sneeze of an idea of doing a CATS movie went around being speculated in what.. 2012?? i have been against it because i knew it wouldn’t be done right. what i really wanted, really hoped for, what the fandom very honestly deserves and STILL does to this day and beyond is another honest, no dances cut, full on professionally shot video of the stage production again.

i’m still putting my hand to the cold glass and pulling my thin shawl around my shoulders as i gaze past the rain blurring the dreary world outside and sighing a tremendous, weary sigh because Hamilton is getting a full professionally-shot stage movie...... and CATS likely won’t ever.. and how cruel that is.

(not hatin on Hamilton, btw; im just old and bitter LOL i have zero hard feelings towards Hamilton and honestly good for them for getting that done, they deserve it)

so...... listen. i appreciate the thought and commitment to making a CATS movie. i think the biggest thing that busted my balls about it was the use and execution of the CGI cat people. ofc this is a big thing in a lot of opinions. but i’ve always been sitting here like.......

there are... decades of fanart. decades of productions and photos and costume design. but the fan. art. did anyone go in and look at it? artists have been drawing these characters a wide variety of ways, but when it boils down to the anthropomorphic take on it, i thought it was pretty damn clear how good it could look. i feel like they should have been diggin in the CATS art trenches all this time, all these years, and really taken all these artistic interpretations very seriously to heart.

it felt like a slap in the face when they overhauled nearly everyone’s design/look to the point where i don’t even know who i’m looking at. and listen, i’m here for redesigns, don’t get me wrong. i dug Jason Derulo’s Tugger design. i dug Idris Elba’s Macavity base idea because he was made a shorthair and clearly all source material says otherwise? and where’s the ginger, mate??

(NOTE: in the b’way revival the new Macavity costume is easily 99% black in contrast to the original design in which the costume was 95% red and orange. stark difference. “Macavity’s a ginger cat” contradicts the revival costume a bit since, again, it’s largely black. so in its defense, the costume’s red/orange accents are well placed and the black pays more tribute to the “very tall and thin” aspect he’s supposed to have. (the old costume was wild and hairy, it kinda puffed him out a bit, esp with the much fuller and taller wig.) the revival wig is more on par with main wigs, and it has that coppery color, the makeup is simplistic (as it needs to be added on to Plato) and the color use FOR base Plato brings out the red and etc etc etc. i like the revival costume; it didn’t go overboard on the reds and oranges, it was sleek and powerful, and oh my god you’ve got fingergless gloves with fucking fringe there is a MANE wiht FRINGE who designed that bc i gotta kiss em and offer a piece of my heart and soul)

everything felt muddled, disorganized, foreign, and god why did we do Jennyanydots that why please why are the cockroaches people please are you all ok in production? blink twice if you need help

oh yeah and the fat jokes. i think we were supposed to be getting over that but ok

very interesting thing with Macavity kidnapping the potentials. kinda dug that. fuck it up, Skimbleshanks

and speaking of fuckin Skimbleshanks you have no idea how much of my shit i lost when he started the tap number. i was over the MOON. GOOD shit, FUCK yeah, GO OFF and it was brilliant, absolutely beautiful

ALSO when i heard Judi Dench was gonna be in it i was really hopeful she’d finally play Grizabella. what a fucking treat that would’ve been. she was set to debut the role in the West End, then she tore her Achilles, so Elaine Page replaced her and the rest was history. i’ve really wanted to hear/see her Grizabella. :(

(and briefly on the topic of Grizabella i’m kinda not here for the trend of younger actresses in the role just hhhhhhhh kinda takes away and misplaces her whole vibe and story imo)

i just.. i didn’t understand some of the plot changes like how Macavity was up in everyone’s bs tryna force himself up to the Heavyside Layer, it was silly, and yeah i shouldn’t take CATS so seriously even with the longtime fan background but

gestures helplessly

y’all fr??

there were a lot of super questionable decisions across the board and all that has already been gone over by so many people a dozen billion times. on one hand, i’m glad CATS got some exposure. on the other, :( not like this

however, on a very good note (other than skimbleshanks bless him): let me tell you how EXCITED i was that they used the original Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer arrangement. what a fucking pleasant surprise. HELL yeah. i LOVE that arrangement and i’m tickled to pieces that it was chosen. good shit. good shit.

tbh as Serious and Bruh Calm Down this might all sound, it’s honestly no skin off my teeth. it’s a frustration, sure. i’m so very tired. i’m disappointed. i didn’t have any specific expectations about it, just a lot of hopes. maybe too many hopes.

being a longtime CATS fan i know as well or even better than other people what a fucking dumpster fire the show is LMAO it’s wild and it’s ridiculous and god it doesn’t make any sense, it has a plot and it has no plot and everything about it is so horny and it’s the greatest fucking thing to ever happen to me

i obviously have a lot of feelings and history with CATS, and 2019 did not “ruin” anything for me, it didn’t “taint” anything about it, despite everything i’ve complained about i don’t consider myself a purist. (ok. except about the revival choreography. some things are more sacred than the vatican.)

i don’t dig 2019 as a whole. i don’t want to completely disregard it. there are bits and pieces i did like and that i can appreciate. i wish it wasn’t done that way. i just wish we had gotten a true blue professionally shot, no dances cut, honest portrayal of the stage production.

but hey it is what it is. at the bottom of it all i’m just glad there are new people coming in and taking a look around. it’s nice to see a resurgence of the fandom. it feels really good to see more people here and loving it. i missed CATS and the CATS community. it feels so good to be home.

#ches writes #ches writes stuff #cats musical #cats the musical #anti cats 2019 #is that the tag? god i feel like such a dick tagging that lmfao #if there's another tag i need to add lmk pls #in which i barf words and do mostly complaining but also wholesome #frnkfucker69

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lonley-artist-who-likes-mc · 5 years ago

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Intruloceit Oneshot

Pairing: Intruloceit (Remus-Logna-Deceit)

Warnings: Dark side bois, A lil bit unsympathetic light sides?

Genre:Angst then some fluff

Word Count: 1498

Description: Logan snaps after a small confrontation with the light sides, Dee and Remus come and take to comfort Logan

It was a normal day in the mindscape, Patton and Roman were in the common room watching some Disney, Virgil was in his room listening to music and on Tumblr, and Logan was in his room, doing work and repressing his emotions. The dark sides, we’ll get to them later. For now let's focus on Logan. Who consequently felt a familiar tug, Thomas was summoning him.

“Yes Thomas?” Logan states as he rose up in the living room of the real world. Thomas smiles”I have a slight problem, but we need everyone.” Logan felt disappointed that Thomas didn't summon just him, but ignored the feelings. Soon the other three popped up with their own assortments of hello’s. Thomas smiles as the others showed up, ‘did he smile when I showed up?’ Logan wondered, but pushed the thought away.

“So whatcha need us for Thomas?” Patton spoke up, his voice as bubbly as usual.”Well, The new video coming up, i need some ideas” Logan looks over at Thomas, he actually did have an idea. But as he was about to say it Roman and Patton started talking at the same time about ideas. Annoying but ok, he’d wait his turn. He glanced over at Virgil who was watching the two talk with amusement, at least he found this funny. Logan, he found it very irritating and irrational.

“Guys!” Thomas buts in”One at a time please!” So Roman and Patton calmed down, Logan was very appreciative of it. Patton went first”I think we should do a video revolved around animals!” Thomas nods and hums”Ok i can get behind that” Logan looked confused for a second but shook it off, You can't physically stand in front or behind an idea but alright. Roman went next”Why don't we go into the imagination! You’ve never been there and neither have the fans!” Thomas’ eyes sparkle at the idea”Great idea Roman!” Roman smirks”I know, but thank you” Logan fought not to rolls his eyes

Virgil spoke up,”Why don't we do one about how to deal with different types of heightened emotions” Thomas nods, holding his chin”Very thoughtful, and could teach the fans a lot!” Logan was about to talk but Roman cut in”Well i say my idea is still the best” Thomas looked at Logan and back at Roman. “Roman, Logan still hasn't said his idea yet, that was rude.” Roman looked at him taken back.”Well what could Mr.Microsoft Nerd over there possibly have as an idea that doesn't involve a lot of math and boring things?”

Logan could feel his anger rising up in him and had to keep it at bay, clenching his teeth for now.”Well you don't know that now do you?” Thomas shot back sassily. Patton spoke up”Well, Logan, what is your idea?” Patton smiles, Logan could see it was forced. Patton didn't like going out of his comfort zone, and Logan, who did not care for emotions as much as he did, was clearly out of his comfort zone.

Logan fixed his glasses”Well. Now that I patiently waited for my turn to speak, My idea was to have a video based on different career paths Thomas could of chosen-``''But why? He has a perfectly good one right now!” Roman buts in.”Ya, I mean, Logan, Thomas has a nice job that pays well and he's doing what he loves!” Patton adds. Virgil nods ”There’s not really a point to it Lo” Vigil comments.

Thomas looked like he was about to say something, but Logan couldn't hold down his emotions any longer, he wasn't able to let them out in a healthy way recently, oops on his part.

“You know what? Fine! If you cant even hear me out you do this by your damn self. Leave me out of it, cause im not coming back for this next video, we’ll see how useless I am now” Before anyone could retaliate Logan sunk down to his room and tears started flooding down his face, and his knees felt weak. Logan sat down on his desk chair and began to softly weep. Until he heard someone rise up into his room.

“What do you want now? I'm not changing my damn mind about coming back ``''Oh, and we don't want you two either!” Logan sat up straight and swirled around to look at the dark sides before him. Deceit and Remus were both there”Wha-How-Why-?” Logan couldn't get out any complete sentences, making the other two chuckle. The walk up to him. Deceit leans in close, making Logan’s back press against the chair, trapping him there. Logan was vaguely aware Remus behind him, holding onto the chair.

“We saw and heard everything just now, Logan. How they all got to share their ideas and opinions and how they just shut down yours without a blink of an eye, all three of them. Deceit spoke, for once not in lies. Logan looks at him suspiciously”Why aren't you speaking in lies?”.Both dark sides chuckle”Well Logan, there's certain ways we only act like around Thomas or when we feel like it. For me, that's lying. Remus, he's pretty much the same” Remus pokes his head out s Logan can see him”Im just toned down a bit around the cameras! Logan looked at both”So, why are you two here then?” Logan didn't like the smirks that went across their faces at that moment. Logan gasps when Deceit grabbed his hands and pulled him out of his chair” Well you See Logan, this isn't just for our benefit, its for yours to!” Deceit started to circle him, as did Remus. Remus laughs some”Haven't you just wanted to get away from these light sides, even for just a day? Cause i know how upsetting my brother is!” Logan looked like he was actually considering it.

Suddenly Both of them stood behind Logan, then both of them hug him. Remus hugging his shoulders, Dee hugging his waist”Cmon Logan” Dee coo’s.”Just come with us to the dark side, just for one day! Who knows, you might like it~” Remus tempts. Logan looks at each of them and bit his lip.”Come with us, we have a room waiting for you and everything. We’ll make you feel wanted” The two said in unison.

Logan looked at the two then around the room, he felt the familiar tugging of Thomas trying to summon him, making Logan frown. Wiping away the last few tears, Logan ignores the summoning, closing his eyes”Lets go” He saw the two beam and and sunk down with him in their arms.

~~~~~

When Logan opened his eyes the three of them were in a living room like area, looking similar yet different than the lightsides. Looking around curiously he seemed to forget why he was there, till a voice pulled him back.”Would you like to see the room we made for you Logan?” Dee coo’s. He looked at the eager Remus”I made it! Dont worry theres no excitingly dangerous things in there!” Logan fought back a smile and nods. The two leg go of him, making him slightly sad, but followed them.

To say the room shocked him was an understatement. The ceiling was a bunch of stars with lots of noticeable signs in them, and it was compiled with a bunch of things Logan loved to do. It was like they took their time making it, making sure it was perfect to Logan’s liking. Logan covered his mouth and felt tears fall, happy tears. Logan felt the two of them hug him again”I think he likes it Remus” Dee spoke. Remus laughs softly”I think he does!”Logan turned in there arms and hugged both of them, shocking the dark sides, and making their touch starved self's crave more.

“T-thank you..S-so..so much”Logan sobbed softly. On instinct the two dark sides hugged Logan closer to them and looked at eachother, secretly vowing to each other to always protect this side with their lives. Remus, in a move of bravery spoke up,”Why don't we all go lay down and cuddle. Im sure we’re all touch starved here!”Deceit looked at Remus nervously then To Logan, who slowly pulled away and looked at the two.

After a long moment of silence Logan smiles a tiny bit and nods a bit”Ya, that sounds wonderful” The two light sides all but tackled Logan in a hug, making him laugh. The sound made the two Boy’s hearts flutter. Slowly but surely they took off all their accessories and shoes and were lying in Logan's bed, cuddling. Dee somehow ending up in the middle. Probably due to him being the smallest an the one needing the most warmth.

But for the rest of the night, the three stayed just like that, happily cuddling and softly talking. This was something they all needed.

#intruloceit #sandersides #thomas sanders #dark sides

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butteredsims-blog · 6 years ago

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THE GAME OF LIFE LEGACY CHALLENGE!

So I created a little legacy challenge. I wanted to explore more of the expansion and stuff packs so some of these require more than the base game! Every generation has its own rules and goals, then on top of that each generation you will randomly roll for a “Bump in the road” AND a “Good Karma.” They are extra challenges you have to complete before the end of that generation! Its kind of like when you play ��the game of life’ and you draw those random cards like “go to jail” or “Child goes to dentist, pay 500 dollars” you know like that!

If you would like to find out more then please keep reading! If you play go ahead and tag me so I can see your stories and share this post around so we can see if anyone does it!! IT IS KIND OF LONG IM SORRY, SINCE ITS TEN GENERATIONS ITS KINDA HARD TO MAKE IT NOT LONG.

GENERATION ONE

PICTURE PERFECT - - - Create your founder. You may also create a potential significant other in the same game, but they have to be on a separate lot. You may set them up in a house, and give them a job but you then must leave and go back to your founders gameplay. They have to meet by chance after that; if you dont organically meet them you must choose someone else you organically meet as your significant other. If you use a townie, you CAN give them a makeover but that is the only way you can use cheats; since I know everyone loves to make their sims pretty.

You may buy / download / build a tiny house for 10,000. Then use the testingcheats on cheat, and type in "money 1000". This will be your starting funds for your founder. You left home as a very young adult right after high school, ready to make your own life with just the small nestegg of 11,000 simoleons that your parent/guardian gave you as a graduation gift.

Now comes the fun part. It is time to start your legacy, this generation is going to be a little more laid back just to ease you into it. It is time to find a job! You may NOT use any cheats for promotions or money. You may sell things that you create/collect/grow or that you make from a hobby.

CAREERS: You may do any career you like, but keep in mind the other generations will have careers chosen by the challenge. So I would suggest doing something not in the later generations just to keep things spicy. You must make it to the end of the career before your heir of choice reaches young adult hood!

FAMILY & LOVE: It is time to find your one true love. In this generation you are only allowed ONE lover for your whole life. You must marry them, have children with them, and you may not divorce them at any point. Even if they start to hate each other later. (which would make a good simstory!) You must have 3 children, your favorite child may be the heir it is your choice for this generation.

CHILDREN: At least two of your children have to be at least B students in elementary school, and in high school. STUDY STUDY STUDY.

BUMP IN THE ROAD: Use the random dice/number generator website provided, roll a number 1-10. Find the number in the list below entitled "bump in the road" you must do this sometime in the generation before your heir becomes a young adult. You will do one for each generation.

GOOD KARMA: Same as bump in the road but you choose from the list provided called 'good karma'.

GENERATION TWO

THEY'RE THE WORST - - - You spent your whole life being perfect for your parents, and now you are just sick of it. You marry the worst person you can find, and you have ASSHOLE children with him. All except one, your youngest child which will become your heir. Unlike the other children they will make good grades, and always be the sweet behaved one.

CAREER: You happen to be in the criminal career and your worthless significant other is jobless and a sloppy couch potato. You must reach at least level 5 of this career before your heir (your youngest child) becomes a young adult and starts the next generation.

FAMILY & LOVE: Before you get married and have kids, you are having a real hard time finding the one. You are married at least twice in this generation and divorced at least once. You may have kids with your first spouse but your heir must from from your last spouse.

CHILDREN: All of your children except your youngest/heir have to make bad grades, act up, be rude, ect. Your youngest/heir must make at least a B or more in elementary and high school and is not allowed to have any boyfriend/girlfriend until they have reached young adult and begin the next generation.

GOOD KARMA: Same as bump in the road but you choose from the list provided called 'good karma'.

GENERATION THREE

ECO FRIENDLY - - - For this generation you refuse to conform to the norm. You spend most of your time out doors, camping or growing crops on your land. I would say farm but SIMS HASN'T GIVEN US FARM ANIMALS YET. If you have seasons you must have a scarecrow and befriend it until it can finally come to life! Why? BECAUSE IT IS A COOL FEATURE. You may sell your crops for money. You may not have a washer or dryer, you have to wash your clothes in the washing tub. You are also a minimalist and prefer not to have tvs, radios, computer, ect. You must also have a cow plant, and it must eat at least two strangers! If not, I guess it's not a fail. Just for fun!

CAREER: You will be living off the land, in other words you will not have a regular job/career. You will make money by selling crops you grow, things you collected, or things you have crafted. Your spouse my have a regular job.

FAMILY & LOVE: You can get married or divorced as many times as you want, it is totally up to you. You can have a good relationship or a bad one depending on whatever you want to do for your generation.

CHILDREN: You must have at least two children, one will be more of the country/southern down home punch type while the other will be more scientific and very intelligent. The scientific child will be your heir, it does not matter if it is the youngest or the oldest. Your heir for this generation must be a male! You may have more than two children.

GOOD KARMA: Same as bump in the road but you choose from the list provided called 'good karma'.

GENERATION FOUR

BUTT PROBING - - - All your child hood you loved the idea of technology, and reading books about it but your family was wildly against it. So your dream was to be a scientist and one day reach the alien world of Sixam! (Need GTW for this generation!) In this generation one of your main goals is to get abducted and impregnated by an alien. Thats right. We are bringing aliens into this shit. CAREER: Reach the end of the scientist career and max out the rocket ship skill. Your spouse my have any job. You must build a satellite to get abducted by aliens you may not use the cheat to get a satellite.

FAMILY & LOVE: You may marry. It would be more fun to marry an alien but that is up to you! Your spouse my have any job or none that is completely up to you.

CHILDREN: The alien baby will be your heir, no matter what gender it is. You may have other children and they may be human or adopted it is completely up to you. The heir must be a happy go lucky child that is bubbly and sweet while the other children are just normal or whatever you want them to be.

GOOD KARMA: Same as bump in the road but you choose from the list provided called 'good karma'.

GENERATION FIVE

BAKERS DOZEN - - - It's time to get to cookin'! Your alien baby from your last generation is itchin' to start their own bakery and man do they love to cook. Savory & sweet. Try your hardest to make enough money to start your own little bakery. You also must max out all skills that are cooking, baking, gourmet cooking, ect. Every Sunday you have to have a family dinner cooking a gourmet meal and baking at least one desert.

CAREER: You can join the culinary career to make money until you have enough to start your own bakery then you must quit and make your money just from your bakery! You must have GTW for this generation.

FAMILY & LOVE: No rules when it comes to spouse, you can do whatever you want or marry who ever you want and get married or divorced as many times as you want. Though in my opinion since your sim for this generation is so happy and sweet they should be looking for 'the one' and probably only marry one person but thats just what I think!

CHILDREN: Must have at least one child. Your heir should be very brooding and dark, such as a loner or maybe even a borderline goth. He hates that his parent is so happy go lucky and they are more sinister than sweet. They can make good grades or not, it is up to you!

GOOD KARMA: Same as bump in the road but you choose from the list provided called 'good karma'.

GENERATION SIX

THE LOVE BITE - - - That brooding baby is all grown up now, and man are they ready to move on with their life! They decided to settle down in a town called Forgotten Hollow. After years of searching the web as a loner teenager they have discovered that Forgotten Hollow is crawling in vampires, and they think the vampires are the only ones who will understand his achy heart and accept them for one of their own. Your life goal is to become the most powerful vampire around! (Must have Vampire expansion pack for this generation.)

CAREER: Career isn't very important in this generation, you can do whatever you like for money! Or you can be homeless for all I care and find yourself a rich vampire to shack up with. Sounds legit. Mmn.. Bill Compton... anyways!

FAMILY & LOVE: You find yourself falling in love with a neighborhood vampire, spending most of your time with them letting them feed on you because lets face it you are a weirdo. Eventually you convince them to change you into a vampire so you can finally become the powerful being you were meant to be!

CHILDREN: You can either have a child with the vampire while you are human or vampire. It depends on if you want your next generation to be vampire or not. If you become a vampire then have a baby with your vampire spouse it is 100% that you will have a vampire child. If you are human when doing so it is only 50% likely the baby will become a human this part is all up to your preference! Your heir must be male.

GOOD KARMA: Same as bump in the road but you choose from the list provided called 'good karma'.

GENERATION SEVEN

STARVING ARTIST - - - You are the most creative sim on the block, and you know exactly how to channel your creativeness into making a profit. Wether you are just an insightful painter or a jack of all trades you are always working on something that will soon become a master piece, with the dream of selling art and becoming your own boss. Everything inspires you!

CAREER: You may not have a career or job. You may only do paintings or other hobbyist things to make money. Such as painting or sculpting. You may use other ways to make money on the side such as gardening, collecting ect.

FAMILY & LOVE: Because everything inspires you, you have multiple lovers. You have gotten a couple women pregnant already but you don't some very interested in raising them since you fall in and out of love every time you meet someone new. Eventually you find 'the one' and settle down and actually start a family.

CHILDREN: Your heir can be any gender, but it must be from the union of your marriage and not a love child from one of the women you knocked up in your 'stallion days'!

GOOD KARMA: Same as bump in the road but you choose from the list provided called 'good karma'.

GENERATION EIGHT

DOCTOR DOLITTLE - - - This is for all my sims 4 pets lovers out there, and it was requested by my sister! You must have the pets expansion pack. Your father was a starving artist and he didn't make that much money but you want so much more for your family; and you also have a healthy obsession with animals. You must own at least one cat and one dog, challenging right? Knowing you wont ever make the money you can go out and get yourself a business loan so you can open your own vet clinic! You must maintain a successful vet clinic while keeping your family happy and having positive relationships with each family member and pet. Subtract 500 dollars every Friday from your family funds to pay back your loan until your heir reaches the age of teenager. For example if you have 1500 simoleons in your family funds you will type in the cheat 'money 1000' which will set your family funds to 500 simoleons less than what it was before you made your payment. WE KNOW LOANS CAN BE A KILLER! MAKE THAT MONEY!

FAMILY & LOVE: Must have at least two children but you may have as many as you like, your youngest child will be your heir you may not choose a child.

CHILDREN: Your heir can have any traits you want BUT they must have the family oriented trait!

GOOD KARMA: Same as bump in the road but you choose from the list provided called 'good karma'.

GENERATION NINE

THE SINGLE PARENT - - - Did you know that there are approximately 13.7 million single parents in the U.S.? That number represents approximately 26% of children under 21 in the U.S. today. This generation is for all the kids like me that grew up with a single parent. Having the Parenthood expansion is helpful but not required! You will spend this generation supporting your child and doing as many things/activities with them that you possibly can.

CAREER: You may have any career you like, this part is completely up to you just keep in mind it needs to leave you enough time to spend with your child because that is the challenge after all is balancing work and family!

FAMILY & LOVE: This generation you will only have ONE child and you may not be married or dating. For story purposes you can marry, have a child, and then divorce but they have to move out!

CHILDREN: If you happen to have twins you can choose which one is your heir. You must have a full positive relationship with your child by the time they become a teenager and keep it that way into young adulthood.

GOOD KARMA: Same as bump in the road but you choose from the list provided called 'good karma'.

GENERATION TEN

CONGRATS SIMMER!! - - - Wow you did it! That was a roller coaster huh? For this last generation you will be wrapping up this little adventure (unless you grew attached to the legacy, by all means keep going!) To reward you for even making it this far this generation is going to be whatever you want it to be! What have you been wanting to explore in the sims? What have you not done yet? Lets think outside the box. You still must do a bump in the road and a good karma!

GOOD KARMA: Same as bump in the road but you choose from the list provided called 'good karma'.

BUMP IN THE ROAD

(If you get something that doesn't correlate correctly with your generational challenges, roll again!)

1: DEATH IN THE FAMILY: You must kill off someone in your family, not including your current heir/founder, and your future heir for that generation. You must do this before your heir reaches young adult hood. Number off your other family members (husband/wife, and other children) roll the random dice which will be linked at the bottom of the post. YOU MUST KILL OFF WHO EVER CORRELATES WITH THE RANDOM NUMBER YOU ROLLED. NO CHEATING. If you use this in generation one, and you kill off your significant other; you may not remarry.

2: UNEXPECTED EXPENSE: Uh oh, something went wrong. Wether it's an overdue bill, an unexpected traffic ticket, or a medical emergency; something always happens and we end up broke AGAIN. Subtract 800 simoleons from your family funds. Broke now? That sucks. Part of life.

3: WE'VE BEEN ROBBED!: Some low life broke into your house while you were gone! They took every piece of movable furniture. This excludes large kitchen appliances (fridge, stove, sink, dishwasher ect.) Bathroom furniture (sinks, shower/bath, toilets, ect.) everything else is completely gone. You must delete all the rest of your furniture but keep track of your funds before hand. After you have deleted the furniture type in the cheat 'money moneyamounthere' and replace the exact amount of money you had BEFORE you deleted all your furniture. For example if you had 500 simoleons before the furniture, but 1800 after deleting your furniture you will type in the cheat 'money 500'.

4: SLOW N' STEADY WINS THE DIVORCE: Things become stale in the bed, you start to fight more and more every day with your spouse. Slowly but surely you begin to resent each other. Make your sim and their spouse fight, argue, insult each other SLOWLY build up a negative relationship with them until it reaches enemy status and you are forced to divorce. As a slap in the face you are left with all of the kids, and once a week you must pay spousal support of 150 simoleons a week DON'T FORGET TO PAY OR THEY WILL COME TO COLLECT AND START A FIGHT! If you roll this and you are on GENERATION ONE, you must reroll. You may remarry.

5: DIPSHIT ADOPTION: Your druggy uncle just called from prison. He's at it again, and he got the life sentence. Guess what you get out of it? His devil spawn. You must adopt a toddler, try to get one with negative traits such as hotheaded, loner, slob, ect. Have either a negative relationship with the child, or a neutral one. Make them act out such as make messes, fail classes, skip school, start fights, ect. As they age up you cannot give them positive traits such as good, family oriented, neat, ect. This child may not be killed, you must keep it until your heir becomes of age and you move on to the next generation. SORRY.

6: UP IN FLAMES: Guess who left the stove on, thats right, it was you. You can either some how light your house on fire WITHOUT killing anyone, OR you can take the easy way out and bulldoze your entire lot. If you light your house on fire you must let it burn without putting it out; remember there are no firefighter NPCs in the sims 4. I don't know how much the fire spreads so thats on you guys. IF you just bulldoze your entire lot you may not give yourself any extra money, you must basically start over with whatever funds you have left, because obviously you didn't get home owners insurance, that bites. No family members die in the fire.

7: LETTING YOURSELF GO: So you got depressed, and you ate all the ice cream. Again. With cake. Needless to say, the pounds keep packin' on. You must gain weight. There are many ways in the game you can do so, you just have to look them up because I aint yo mama. You may not exercise. That's it. You're a liddol fluffy now and their ain't no goin' back. SORRY, THAT'S HOW THE COOKIE CRUMBLES. You may not roll again, don't be a pansy and just eat some cake. You thiccccc.

8: WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS: Nah I ain't talkin' about the weather. You're spouse left you, and it went surprisingly in your favor and he didn't take all your money! But now you are on the prowl lookin' for a new boo. You had a night out on the town and met yourself a tall drink of water who said they had a PHAT bank account. After falling in fake love to get their money one sad morning you wake up and that tall drink of water poured all over your already sad life by draining your bank account. You are left with nothing but whats in your NOT phat wallet. (300 simoleons) Shit happens bro, stop bein' a ho. If you already have children you may add an extra 100 simoleons for each child you have. For example if you have 3 kids you will have 600 simoleons left in your family funds. If your generation requires you be married to the same person the whole time, roll again.

9: THE GAME OF LIFE: You just keep messing up don't cha? From here on out any time you're given a prompt for your career and the results effect you negatively, you have to take 100 simoleons out of your family funds. Sucks huh? maybe you shouldn't fuck around at work or get on your bosses bad side. Sorry buddy, get your shit in line!

10. NO BABIES 4 U: Want to have children of your own with your spouse? Too bad so sad. Any children you have must be adopted, no trying for a baby in that bush for you! They must be at the lowest age that is adoptable. No name changes, you may change their appearance (clothing, hair, accessories, ect.) but not race/skin-tone/facial features. (does not apply if you are in the first generation, roll again.)

GOOD KARMA

(If you get something that doesn't correlate correctly with your generational challenges, roll again!)

1: FOUND SOME CHEDDAR: Just walkin' down the street mindin' your own business, singin' your favorite song, you look down and what do you see? 100 simoleon bill! You look around and notice nobody is looking.. so what do you do? You grab that shit and run. CONGRATS!~

2: TO YOU, FROM THE STORK: As if you didn't have enough kids already, one night your spouse rolls over in bed and begs you to have yet another child with their crazy ass. And what do you say? SURE WHY NOT. You will add another child to the required amount of children for this generation. For example; if the generation requires you have three children, you must now have 4.

3: POT O' GOLD: Thanks family member i've never met! You just got a letter in the mail letting you know your great great great grand- whatever, just left you 10,000 simoleons in their will. LOOK AT YOU MOVIN' UP IN THE WORLD. Thanks whatever your name is!

4: EARLY RETIREMENT: WOW! Your boss must either really like you, or really want you out of the way. He/She just gave you enough money to retire early! Give your self 200,000 simoleons and quit yo job! (You must wait until atleast level 6 of your current career before you are eligible to cash dat phat check!) If the gernerational rules require you complete your profession you must roll again, SORRY BRUH.

5: FAMILY VACATION: The hustle and bustle of the town/city life is really grinding down your family. If you don't have two days off in a row, call in sick and take your family on a camping trip! Must stay at least one night. If you do not have outdoor retreat, just take a couple days off and spend some quality time with the fam bam.

6: ANGEL ADOPTION: Wow, the nest sure is gettin' empty. It's time to stock that shit back up. Adopt yourself another bundle of joy at the precious age of toddler. You must do this after all of your kids are grown to at least teen stage, no matter which child you chose for your heir THINK AGAIN. Because this liddol angel is now your only chance at a decent heir. You may give them a make over to look any way you want, and you may choose who you adopt. They cannot have negative traits, but they are the sweetest thing since great grammys cherry pie. Must have all A's in elementary and high school.

7: CHANGE OF PACE: Sometimes you just need new scenery. Your whole family came together and decided it was time to sell that house, and move to a new town! You must have a whole new house you may buy one or build one it is your choice. I suggest selling all your furniture from the previous house to put towards your new house!

8: ADOPT A FURBABY: Whether you already have a pet or not you must get another. You may adopt from your phone or computer, OR you may adopt a stray! Any breed or animal. BUT you may not change their gender, name, or appearance. Never fret, you may have more than one pet.

9: THE DEAN'S LIST: You must be either really smart, or really talented. Why? Because you were just awarded a scholarship to you college of choice. Using a cheat code at the beginning of your generation you may promote yourself TWICE at the beginning of your first career as if you had attended college and gotten a better starting position/salary. The cheat code is 'careers.promote careername' for example if you are an astronaut you will type in 'careers.promote astronaut' TWICE.

10: HIDDEN ADVENTURE: Okay i'm sorry kiddos, you are gonna have to do a little researching for this one! In this generation you have to uncover your towns hidden location/secret area. For example if you live on Oasis Springs the Forgotten Grotto has two different entrances that can only be accessed by Sims that have level 10 in the Handiness skill. The entrances can be found in Desert Bloom Park –far behind the park– and also down the cliff behind the Landgraab Mansion. A surprise awaits. They aren't hard to find if you google them and they are so interesting!

Let’s use the tag #LifeGameLegacy so I can see your liddol babies doing my challenge! You can find the random number generator here.

#lifegameleagacy #sims4 #sims 4 challenge #sims 4 legacy #sims 4 legacy challenge #ts4 challenge #ts4 leagacy #ts4 legacy challenge #sims #the sims

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the-faculty · 7 years ago

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Pt1.Hi, I'm a sub in a ddlg relationship, I just wanted to ask and get some opinions from people more experienced than me. I had a very rough childhood and that meant I had to learn to feed and look after myself entirely, as such I have a very strong and independent personality and have always been like this. I'm sure you can see the problem with this 😂 at work it's helped me get very far for my age, but I find I have to literally fight my own head to submit to Daddy and go against my instinct

Pt2. I wondered if any of the team had had this issue before or if any of your followers have had it? I want to be the best sub I can and I don't want to fight myself to submit, it isn't a lack of trust or faith in my Daddy, I think Im just trying to fight every instinct I have•••••••••••••••••••••••••••Hey there!Guess what??? We’re twins, that’s what! @1-sadistic-lover and i actually JUST talked about this the other day, so I hope to be able to share our revelations in a way that may help with your own.I had the exact same base for my own life - the type of forced independence way too young that makes one take on the world like a predator, not out of desire or enjoyment, but as a means of survival. Taking charge, when on your own, means fighting your way to the top, protecting yourself from anyone or anything else that could be a threat, and ABOVE ALL, to value and trust in making your decisions for yourself.But goodness, a lifetime of that energy expenditure and hyper vigilance can really be exhausting. Particularly if you know that at your core, all you’ve ever wanted is for that burden to be lifted. Being cared for, and having somebody else provide safety and structure sounds like heaven —until the realization comes that it means LETTING GO. Terrifying. When every part of your survival in the past has been completely self-driven and dependent on taking charge, gritting your teeth and following somebody else feels like certain death.Here’s what advice I can give you, and I’m sorry that it’s such hard advice to follow: Do it. Let go.Fight those instincts down, because this person, this Dominant, is one whom you’ve decided that your logical and emotional brain trusts and wishes to follow. You wouldn’t have entered this dynamic if it wasn’t a good move.What I can promise when this advice is followed: You will feel safer.You will feel stronger.The parts of you that have been starving since childhood for protection and love and support will finally heal.When that primal, knee jerk, fighting reaction surfaces, face it with logic. Don’t let it encourage you to walk in the direction you have picked - hold his hand as he leads you down a new path.You have chosen to submit to this person.You WANT to submit to this person.They are a resource, not an obstacle or an enemy.I wish you all the best, and I really hope I was able to help a bit💠Kitten💠

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zjallove · 7 years ago

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What is SUCCESS to you???

I agree with Emerson on this quote. There are so many motivational videos and quotes out there with the intention of inspiring people to do better, be better, go harder, get more, be more, be the best, do your best! And that’s great, but I think to myself… Who gauges on what success actually is? What makes one more successful than another? Money? Fame? What?

We all do the best we can with what we have and however we can. But it depends on how you define ‘success’.

Sometimes I’m so emotionally drained by everything going on outside of me, that motivational videos and the forced idea of success exhausts the shit out of me! I have to literally go into solitude, hibernate and unplug!

I used to push myself SO HARD, based on what other people were doing, or what other people “THOUGHT I SHOULD be doing” to achieve my dreams. And when I wasn’t doing something the way others were “proclaiming” to the world that they were doing it, (there’s a lot of bullshit facades out there) I would immediately feel like crap. Like somehow I didn’t deserve what I wanted because I wasn’t working as hard as this one or that one. But it’s not even REAL!!! WHO defines what HARD WORK is??? For some people, hard work could mean physical labor… For others it could mean focusing on your talent 24/7, or all of the above…. but for SOME people working hard could mean HEALING from trauma, LEARNING and analyzing life’s lessons, STUDYING the mind and gaining a deeper perspective, RECOVERING from an addiction, GROWING where “no one sees you” and having “nothing materially to show for it”!

We have to remember that we have nothing to prove to anyone else. Absolutely nothing to prove. Ever.

Some people are going through internal processes that force one to recognize life from the inside out, making choices based on a spiritual and higher calling. Which I believe is the truest kind of WORK there is to begin with. Yet it all goes hand in hand. Im still out here doing both. I appreciate the people who grind every single day to help their families survive, it is noble and honorable, and you can see the fruits of their labor clearly! But I equally appreciate those who were chosen and put on the earth to do the invisible hard work, that no one can physically see. Going within. Healing from their past. Addressing internal programming. Reprogramming conditioned mindsets. Rebellion, Reforming belief systems. Retuning their energy vibration. Changing the world from the inside out. This is an equally important type of work that keeps the human race balanced.

Do we realize as humans we must do the inner work as well as having to survive materially on this earth? To gain inner success. Everyone strives for this idea of security they have in their minds without realizing, in this life… there is NO such thing as security. Because whether we have financial stability or a home or a job/career etc… at any moment we could be gone. Just like that. A force of power that is beyond our control. We. Have. No. Control. We are merely beings living moment to moment.

I am relentless and driven by nature when striving for a goal. I used to strive for what I perceived as success. I used to fight so hard for everything I ‘thought I wanted’ The stress was unbearable, the pressure was torture, I was exhausted in every sense of the word. But as time goes by NOW……… I realize the biggest blessing in life after dealing with so much trauma (Topic for another blog), is the gift of ‘INNER PEACE’.

Inner peace IS my success. And to live with Love. Because in the end, LOVE is all that lasts and LOVE is all that matters. Anything you build on top of that, is just a temporary bonus. YES we have earthly obligations and responsibilities, but we can choose to make room to maintain a balance.

So now. Whatever compromises my inner peace… I’m OUT! Just like that. That does not make me a quitter or a failure. It makes me powerful beyond measure. I can’t be controlled by others perceptions of success, especially if I am brave enough to realize, who I am, as I am, is already a success. And I hope this helps you realize for yourselves too. Because it is no ones business to gauge what our success should look like. What achievement looks like. And what hard work actually looks like.

So again: WHO YOU ARE, AS YOU ARE IS ALREADY A SUCCESS. Everything else is just a choice and achievement based on where our energy vibrates. If you are positive, you will attract more positivity. Etc.

NOTHING…. and I mean NOTHING should EVER make us feel like we aren’t worthy of having everything we dream of because we aren’t doing something the way everyone else ‘seems’ to be doing it. The comparisons need to stop.

We all have different purposes on this planet, e.g. Some people are built for physical work, some people are built for intricate work, some people are creative, some people are inventive, and unfortunately there are ‘some people’ who just exist in our lives to teach us things about ourselves. But everyone has a RIGHT to do whatever they wish to do, to their OWN capacity and sense of happiness. (As long as we aren’t hurting ourselves or one another). But it’s time to TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF NOW.

Stick with those who support YOUR individuality, your healthy choices, who have the courage to help you face your weaknesses without imposing their ways onto you, and be open to analyzing and adapting your OWN beliefs, and choose your own path.

It’s great to want to motivate people to become better people. For themselves. At their own capacity. It’s great to make motivational and inspirational videos and share unique and helpful ideas of bettering ourselves and humanity. I’m all for it and I’m inspired by it. Like hey 👋🏽 I’m writing this blog lol. As long as the viewer or reader understands that they have the RIGHT to take what they need from it and adapt it to their own way of existence and expression. There is No Right Way…. This life is transient and temporary so as long as it doesn’t hurt yourself or anyone else, do what makes you happy!!!! Fuck what everyone else thinks!!!!! No opinion or judgement is needed thank you very much.

So it is our responsibility to go within and decide NOT what we want to “HAVE”. But, rather, How do we choose to “FEEEEEEEL”??

Love Zjál

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riotatthemovies · 5 years ago

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Helloooo Everybody..

QUESTIONS WITH RIOT. TODAYS GUEST RON FORD!

So here is a nice big post for you to read, see it on my tumblr page and the facebook group and maybe in a new book someday. I will be reaching out to B movie directors and actors in the next week or so with a handful of (often similar questions) . They are not real time interveiws , I just sent them the questions and they msgd me back. Todays victim of Riots questions is actor director RON FORD, not to be mistaken to Toronto past mayor Rob. Those who know Riot at the Movies and our regular screening parties in Toronto will know of Ron Ford from when I was given a vhs copy of Mark of Dracula. Ron directed the film and played the amazing Sheriff in it. That movie became a regular talk to the group as we saw how his cast and contacts would connect to other Riot at the movie favorites like Eyes of the Werewolf AND if you read my first book you will remember my writing about Alien Agenda Endangered Species during my first 24 hr marathon with films chosen by you the readers. Also I play the trailer for his movie TIKI about yes a killer Tiki on a regular basis before my monthly screenings so Im sure lots of you know that as well. So lets get to the questions.. hello Ron Ford, first question iiissss, Whats your favorite type of monster?

Ron Ford: Oh I like all kinds. The Creature is my favorite from a design standpoint. I love giant monsters a lot, Kong is probably the greatest monster movie ever, though there are really only a handful of truly good movies in the genre. Most of them are indistinguishable from each other, plot wise. I also love those that are rich with societal and psychological subtext. The Invisible Man, vampires and Frankenstein fall into that category. Werewolves too. - So how's that for dancing around a question?

Adam Riot : I dont think danced I think I got what I expected from the guy behind Hollywood Mortuary. Of all the movies you have made what was your favorite?

Ron Ford: Of the features I like The Crawling Brain the most. It is the closest to the movie I saw in my head when writing it. But my absolute favorite is a short called The Cosmological Constant, which sort of encapsulates all my conclusions about science and religion. It's a drama with science fiction overtones, not one for gore hounds or those looking for action, but it's very thoughtful and even-handed and all the performances are professional, polished and moving. I hope to share it with the world soon. It's currently enrolled in a dozen or so festivals, so I've got to let that play out.

Adam Riot :From experience or finished project, what made it your favorite?

Ron Ford: It is the most polished film I ever made, and for once I didn't cast just friends (although they are all my friends), but sought out the best actors in town. I also am proud of it's subtlety and even-handedness. Personally I definitely side with science over religion. But I treated both sides of the debate with compassion and sensitivity. Religious people will relate to that side of the story without feeling slighted. It is my most thoughtful and my most emotional film at the same time. I always hear sniffles in that audience every time I screen it. And frankly it still chokes me up when I watch it, and I've seen it literally a hundred times. It also captures my deep interest in cosmology and astrophysics.

Adam Riot: Have you made films that you have not shown to the world that you just didnt like so you hid it away?

Ron Ford: Yeah some I cringe to watch, but I don't hide them away. Even my worst (Snake-Man) is on YouTube for the world to scoff and laugh at. Bad reviews often give me a tickle, if they are written with humor. I know they are not masterpieces, and I'm glad people can enjoy some of them as camp.

Adam Riot: Ohhhh I have not seen Snake Man, cough cough made a Snakemen movie recently but wont be finished till after the isolation.

Next question, What movies in a micro budget genre have impressed you recently?

Ron Ford: I am afraid I'm not up on the current micro-budget filmmakers. I have always enjoyed the works of Eric Stanze, Scooter Macrae, Kevin Lindenmuth and Jeff Leroy. The only one I've seen lately was a preview of Seb Godin's Erotic Rites of the Vampyr which was a lovely mood piece.

Adam Riot: We love Seb here as we played Dinogore at our festival from last month.

Next Question What makes you lose your love for independent films, the people? the money? the response from friends or buyers?

Ron Ford: Making money is the most difficult part. Gone are the days when you could sell the most poorly shot piece of junk based solely on some cool box artwork. My biggest bitch with most of them is poor sound and poor acting, two things I am woefully guilty of myself, especially in my early works.

Adam Riot : You have been making movies for a long time with a lot of different people , how do you feel friendship in the independent film world is important and how hard would it be without close friends?

Ron Ford: Essential. Since people are volunteering their time, you better be nice to them and you better make it fun for them. That's easiest with friends. Many of the friendships I've made making films have become lifelong pals.

Adam Riot: What do you like doing more directing or Acting?

Ron Ford: Directing, but I have improved as a screen actor a lot, to the point that I am now a SAG actor. I do lots of commercials and TV. I spend a lot more time as an actor than a director these days, and make a shit ton more money at it. My other great passion in life is the theater. On stage I would much rather act than direct. In fact it's what I love more than anything. I have directed a couple plays, but stopped doing it because it's just not something I enjoy that much.

Adam Riot: Ron Ford musical on broadway, I am hoping thats down the road. But whats your thoughts on the streaming services, direct download, tubitv that kind of thing? Any opinion?

Ron Ford: I'm glad for them. Now lots of films not produced expensively enough to get play on tv or in theaters can still find a home and an audience. The more venues the better.

Adam Riot: The world is waiting for more Mark of Dracula, what is the sheriff doing these days?

Ron Ford: He's still in there, policing my moods and calling me out when I act like an asshole. He is my conscience. It's one of my earliest efforts and, despite it's crudeness, it has a warm place in my heart. I'd love to see it on DVD or Blu Ray someday. I am so grateful that some hardcore microbudget watchers are still watching and enjoying it.

Thank you so much Ron I hope to see so much more in the future, stay safe and stay awesome. BUT for you readers and watchers in the group we will have Ron Fords emotion short Cosmological Constant as the pre show for Toonie Tuesday.. this week, so yeah two days away. At 8 30 we will play Rons short and at 9 is a random older b movie for us to stream here in the Riot at the movies facebook group. Join us for Rons deeper side science and religion and I apologize if I ruin it with something cheesy right after as I have yet to decided on our nights feature, hey its online and its madness out there we can swing what ever emotion we want right now. Again thank you Ron and I hope to see all of you on Tuesday, two days aways, April 7th, 8 30 right on the facebook page wwooo.

#bmovies #ron ford #riot at the movies #thank you #interview #movies #streaming #alien agenda #mark of dracula #tiki

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relatablemormonmoments · 3 years ago

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4th speaker, Brother Russel M Nelson, my mannn -History of restored church. Important events in California - (recaps the opening video) -15 missions, 7 temples, 750000+ members in 103 stakes. Blessed with diversity -31 different countries, 19 languages, in one california priesthood meeting -56 new bishops. constant change in leadership. Mobility of members is a blessing. Opportunity to help the entire world. -vital crossroads in California. Economic and educational opportunities. Potential to influence entire world. -what kind of influence does the Lord want californians to have? We are here to make life better for ourselves and others -- 3 invitations to make god's influence -- 1 seek truth --- Gods love and gods laws --- Because they love us they want us to have joy and return. Laws based on eternal and unchanging truth to guide and protect us --- is faith dwindling in California? Secularism is flourishing everywhere. All have an opportunity to know the truth. (sigh) --- importance of truth in Medicine. Heart Surgery and medical myths. Artificial Heart Lung Machine --- To every kingdom there is a law. What laws govern the beating heart? --- sodium potassium ratio controls beating heart --- Natural and Heavenly Laws protect us. --- Study from sources you can trust --- Make your life better here --- if you know absolute truth, nothing in social media feeds will confuse you. --- antidote is the growing and unshakable faith in christ --- ASK QUESTIONS! ASK THE LORD YOUR QUESTIONS sincerely and with real intent. -- 2 make covenants with god and keep them --- Yoke yourself to god and jesus and to their power --- Dont have to deal with deception or temptation by yourself --- Promised that you may always have their spirit with you. --- Constant barrage of differing opinions --- Power of the lamb of god --- We have access to that power via covenants --- Future of Church in California. 2 new temples (yass yorba linda temple) And more will come. Influence of satan diminished and power of god is increased (is it? Is that how it works? cusss utah is kinda still influenced by satan, and they have a ton of temples...) --- Time spent in prayer --- Renew and Heal you -- 3 help gather israel (hens you know my opinion on this) --- Occurring right now in california --- Why are you in California (because it's too expensive to move out and i started college during Covid) --- Defend the cause of christ --- "You were chosen to be of the lineage of israel" (yeah but thats just me. because im jewish. What about all the goyim in my ward) --- Youth and young adults- unique opportunity. Many of our peers are wondering why they are on earth, but dont know who they can trust. You have the answers (im not gonna convert my friends) --- (I'm. Not. Gonna. Convert. My. Friends.) --- all about saving souls. --- share the joy you have in the gospel to find the children of israel in California --- Unmistakable force for good - Blesses us with increasing faith in jesus (sorry luv, 0 x anything is still 0. Maybe the others will increase their faith though!) - Light radiating from you will attract others to you.

(In 2 hours there will be a California specific devotional and I will be liveblogging my thoughts sos)

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thedoctorisadhd · 7 years ago

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what's once on this island about?

i hope ur happy anon, bc this took me literally like six hours im not exaggerating even a little

short answer: so u take the original plot of the littlest mermaid and u plunk it down rIGHT in the middle of 1920s haiti, right

long answer (like, REALLY long answer. like REALLY long. im sorry i dont know how to summarize when there are so many good things):

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

“where the sea, sparkling in the sun, earns it the name, ‘jewel of the antilles.’”

“an island where the poorest of peasants labor —”

“— and the wealthiest of the grand hommes lay.”

“two different worlds on one island!”

“the grand hommes, owners of the land and masters of their own fates.”

“and the peasants, eternally at the mercy of the wind and sea, would pray constantly to the gods.”

those are the four storytellers, beginning the play. lydia started the first line, then abby, then dori, then natalie, and repeat.

(oh yeah, also this is the jr version. also, i dont know everything bc i was backstage the majority of the time)

so the gods that the beach people / peasants are dancing to, theres 4 of them. asaka (played by lavanya in our production) is the goddess of the earth, erzulie (played by luke who’s closeted, so i change it to a god, erzulio) beautiful goddess of love. agwe (played by ian) is the god of the sea, and papa ge (eli, of course, and it’s literally pronounced papa gay), my personal favorite, is the sly demon of death

and this is all described in the first number “we dance”

stay tuned yo it gets better.

(its so good. dont ever listen to any version besides the chatham one i can guarantee you that any non-eli papa ge, any non-luke erzulie / erzulio, any non-lavanya asaka, any non-ian agwe, any non-lydia / dori / abby / natalie storyteller will not be as good)

so basically theres this storm, and in this storm is a little girl and the gods are like “no papa ge we’re not killing her you fuck” and they irresponsibly plunk her down in a tree

and so tonton julien (ben) and mama euralie (izzy) come along & are like “holy shit a kid” (and this girl is crying her eyes out of course bc as mr adam creatively put it to the girl who played young ti moune, “you were just dropped in a tree by some randos you’ve never seen before in your entire life”) but like theyre poor and dont have a lotta food and shit so they try to leave but the gods, showing some small modicum of responsibility, like, use the force to pull them back. so these peasants adopt ti moune and name her ti moune and theres a whole big number about her growing up called “one small girl” which i quite like actually

then ti moune is grown up (sammie) and she sings about like “whats my destiny yo” all naive in “waiting for life” and sees a car which is a big ol lead-in to the next number. which brings us to

so in the beginning of “rain” theres this HILARIOUS section of dialogue with the gods picking mangos and here it is bc i cant not include it man

asaka: 🎵 pick a mango! 🎵

agwe: 🎵 a juicy mango! 🎵

erizulie: 🎵 a lovely mango! 🎵

papa ge, being Himself: 🎶 a poison mango! 😈 🎶

[all of the other gods look at papa ge]

anyway, after that theyre all proposing things to do to get ti moune less naive, with such wonderful suggestions from these dumbasses as “splash her with a wave” and “scare her half to death”. and then erzulie is like “yeah u do that imma give her what she wants bye” and the other gods are like “????????????” and shes just like “You Heard Me” and just goes like “Love Can Conquer Anything!!!!!!! :)))))))) ❤️💞💕💚💛💙💜💝💘💗💖❣️” and papa ge is like “that’s bullshit this whole thing is bullshit that’s a scam fuck the love here’s like two reasons why” and they argue (and asaka remarks that this is “more amusing than mangos”) and the gods are all “HMMMM🤔🤔” and then they all go “A BET!”

and the gods all start like pitching in to set up this bet, so like erzulie gives her strength and asaka’s gonna guide her but then papa ge interrupts like “IM GONNA MAKE HER CHOOSE” and then johnny boy i mean ian i mean agwe then calls dibs on choosing the circumstances of the bet

and u remember that car right? well ian agwe is like “that. thats the place where the 2 worlds meet” and he creates a big ol storm and in the song he says (one of my favorite lines, actually) “rain makes the road such a dangerous place” (he did amazing in that song but i feel kinda bad bc like. he was overshadowed by the other gods who are all incredible singers, and parts of it were too low for him. like, eli can sing as high as he did, but ian really cant sing that low)

also they used the fish flags from the seussical two years ago when sammie’s sister sidne played the cat in the hat. i always found it hilarious that dori of all people they couldve chosen played a fish

ANYWAY. so the car is goin down the road and crash oh no a car accident. totally not what agwe was (shot)gunning for

and so ti moune pulls this guy outta the car right, and — by the way, now we’re in this super intense number called “pray” — and this song is real fuckin good alright.

my opinion upon this is based almost solely on the fact that within the first like ten lines of this epically long song a peasant, talking about the guy that got pulled outta the car (daniel, that’s his name), says, literally: “papa ge wants him!” i will remind you that papa ge is pronounced “papa gay” and what makes it even more astronomically fuckin funny is that both hank, the guy that played daniel, and eli, who as u may know played papa ge, are mlm.

anyway no one wants to help daniel even tho he’s Actively Dying bc Fuck The Grand Hommes, Am I Right Guys We Cant Do Anything Were Peasants And There Is Sanctity That We Must Never Talk To Look At Or Think About A Single Grand Homme, Ever™ but ti mounes gonna help him bc Fuck You Guys and she keeps him alive while tonton julien goes to find the guys family after she’s Finally persuaded the guy to do this

and ti moune doesnt sleep for Three Fucken Days by the way. thats important in the next number

also daniel is supposed to be good looking so of course ti moune Falls In Love With Him despite never having seen him before in her entire life, and also hes unconcious the Whole time. i dont understand the heterosexuals

anyway, tonton juliens at the gate to daniels family hotel and he’s like “pls let me in i need to speak to monsieur beausome!” and the gatekeepers like “get the fuck away my guy” and hes like “no but its urgent!!” and the gatekeeper SLAPS BEN [LAST NAME REDACTED]*

so ben i mean tonton recovers and like seriously gets down on his knees and begs and the gatekeeper is still like “FUCK! NO!” and then ben fucking [last name redacted]* SCREAMS SAVAGELY “I HAVE FOUND HIS SON!” HOO BOY

and then at the end of pray you hear a long high note and then one specific girl takes it HIGHER ????????? idk who it is for sure but im willing to put my money on lavanya bc jesus christ can that girl sing

*people always say bens full name when referring to him for some reason, so it’s not ben bc which ben? it’s not ben b. it’s ben [last name redacted].

so pray goes ge STRAIGHT into forever yours. not the reprise, thats later.

so. forever yours. in a STUNNING turn of events (sarcasm. absolutely the least stunning thing after the whole “papa gay wants him” in pray), the VERY fucking FIRST LINE IN THIS WHOLE FUCKING STUPID HEARTFELT SONG is literally ti moune saying “i am a tree, holding away the storm”. are you fucking serious. are you kidding me. you waste the first line on that monstrosity,

anyway basically what happens in this is ti moune is singing about tending to daniel here it is

i am a tree holding away the stormhere in my arms i’ll keep u safe and warmeven the gods wont dare to cross this linewhere my life is forever yoursand you are mine

and on that last word, “mine”, papa ge joins in and it is fuckin CHILLING, not LEAST bc eli has the voice of a fuckin angel (and sammie too, but i think eli’s is just slightly better)

so eli stalks in and the first thing papa ge does, in a True demonstration of the gay / ge agenda, is Drag The Het.

(then he goes on to say “this boy is mine”)

so eli’s also got a knife (a fake one) and this is another Important Thing so yeah

anyway sammie ti moune should “TAKE MINE FOR HIS.” (her life she meant) and papa ge is SHOOK. he just … stops. “wot”

so yeah. ti moune, in one of The most IMPRESSIVE displays of heterosexual tomfoolery and ridiculousness i have Yet Seen (scene), trades her life for this Complete Fuckin Stranger she pulled out of the car wreck whomst has not as of yet spoken a Single word to her bc HE’S BEEN UNCONSCIOUS THE WHOLE TIME!?

and heres another good line, the first gay daddy nico diangelo himself eli papa gay papa ge has had since “wot”: i am the road / leading to no return

(and this is also where eli goes REALLY high. like not for basically everyone else, but for him)

then daniels two dads apparently, grant and hugh, pick him up and take him back to the hotel and ti moune is like “NOOOOOOO” and makes mama and tonton let her leave to go find daniel, and frankly i am not very interested in this specific part of the song so fuck that i skipped it lmao lets get to lavanyas fuckin SOLO

alright. “mama will provide”. exactly what it says on the tin, taking it into account that asaka would be mother earth i guess

really all this one is is lavanya’s fuckin angelic voice and What Exists In Nature, and i cant very well put lavanya’s voice down on the page for yinz to hear can i? the only notable thing i can really think of besides this next piece a dialogue will share w u is in the beginning theres a bunch of ensemble doing weird repeating acapella and some hopping in like frogs. “COO COO coo coo cOO COO COOO” “SHAH shaSHA-ah” “buuuuu BUM! BUM! bum” its sounds slightly weirder than it is

anyway here’s the best dialogue:

everyone: MOSQUITOS??

asaka: HA!

ACT TWO HERE WE FUCKIN GO ALRIGHT

ok, so ti moune finds daniel who doesnt know who she is bc, you know, he was unconscious the entire time. she gets him to know she was the one who nursed him tho. and they go to the front of the stage and ti moune sits and daniel puts his head on her lap. again, poor hank

now, “human heart”. jesus. i have literally cried over this song.

so erzulie goes out on stage to where hank is slowly suffering, probably, and sings this GODS DAMN BEAUTIFUL SONG about like, love n shit i guess. the storytellers and the other three gods act as a sort of choir. that’s pretty much all there is to say about human heart tho. moving on

ok so for “pray (reprise)” the gossipers (which are apparently supposed to be the storytellers, but fuck that thats lame, give my Cool Hoes lianna and taylor parts tbh) go out on stage and sing about how daniel is spending all his time w a peasant and shes a witch and yadda yadda yadda. and then theres some lame romance shit that i dont have fuckin time for

anyway, the song culminates with daniel’s father comin out on stage (lmao). which father, u ask? he had two of em? well that was grant and hugh, this one’s iain. conclusion: daniel has three polyamorous gay dads. this is the gayest production of a play ive ever seen. i mean papa ge? “papa ge wants him”? the fact that tonton means uncle so mama euralie and tonton julien arent married? “this boy is mine” coming from daddy gay himself? the fact that daniels last name means beautiful man? the “beautiful god of love” (as luke said, refusing to misgender himself in his introduction U GO LUKE)? the fact that out of the main cast (the 4 gods, the 4 storytellers, daniel, ti moune, andrea, mama euralie, and tonton julien) there are literally eight (8) actors who Arent straight (id bet that two others arent str8 and or / cis as well but im not sure)? just change daniel to danielle and itll be perfect

ayway daniel’s 3rd dad comes out on stage and tells him to stop this nonsense, young man ANYWAY NEXT SONG

in “some girls” the rich guys at the hotel all are doing a really lame colorless boring dance. then this girl andrea (ava) comes out and sings about the rumors about ti moune, that she’s stupid or wild, and daniel tells her to stop, then ti moune arrives and andrea really condescendingly asks her to dance for everyone and daniel encourages ti moune

so ti moune does a slow lame dance and then it gets loud and wild and fun! then when she’s done andrea goes to daniel and is like “she’s in love with you you oblivious fuck if you care at all you’ll tell her —” (unclear about what he’s caring about) and andrea is interrupted by ti moune who’s like “HI I HEARD MY NAME WHATCHA WANT ANDREA” and daniel goes and breaks her fuckin heart right

how he does this is he’s like “oops sorry i thought u would realize that we could never marry bc andrea and i are already engaged (since we were babies)”. daniel demonstrates an amazing amount of calmness about being forced to marry this girl he’s known all his life, and an incredible amount of insensitiveness bc TI MOUNE WAS NEVER FUCKIN TOLD THAT HE WAS ENGAGED. honestly i loathe literally every single character in this play except for the gods and the storytellers lmao

OK NOW FOR MY FAVORITE FUCKIN ONE WOW :~)

the reprise of forever mine.

so. ti moune is alone on stage and she goes like “gods please are u listening help me” and then. u hear. eli’s fucking amazing evil laugh and the gay himself appears

and he’s like u gotta keep ur promise ti moune im here to collect on that Soul

did i mention elis voice is beautiful? no i dont care, im sayin it again, eli [last name redacted] has the voice of an angel

anyway he’s like “u gave him ur soul, now u have to PAY” (the line he used here is “i am the price you’ll pay” and that sounds cool as shit)

and so “father homosexual,” as he was dubbed by luke, takes out his knife and sings “your life is forever mine” and holds the knife to ti mounes neck and ti moune yells “PLEASE DONT” and and and

he stops.

“trade your life for his.”

so papa ge gives her the knife and tells her to go stab daniel and he sings “i am the road that leads to no return” as he walks to the left side of the stage, and erzulie appears at the right side and sings human heart as papa ge continues with his verse from the first forever mine as ti moune struggles towards and away from daniel, straining, being pulled by opposite forces, love and death, and the two unite in singing “forever mine!” and ti moune casts the knife to the floor and screams “NO!”

and the music stops

and daniel sees the knife and picks it up

and says “why?!”

(fuckin bitch shoulda stabbed him when she had the chance)

and ti moune gets cast out and like, withers away at the gate neither eating nor sleeping, and then daniel comes to the gate with andrea at his wedding and sees ti moune and gives her a coin when she runs after him, and she collapses and the gods, sOMEHOW GAINING SOME MINISCULE VIEW OF THE CONSEQUENCES OF THEIR FUCKIN ACTIONS, all start CRYING. (erzulie won the bet) and erzulie hugs ti moune and papa ges probably off somewhere feeling sorry for himself bc you cant fuckin see him in the footage (nah, he’s off at the side of the stage with the other two gods neither of whomst you can see either), and mama euralie comes to sing this sad and pretty number “part of us” and then tonton and baby ti moune arrive as well for some fuckin reason,

and mama euralie says,

“and then the gods blessed her and turned her into —”

and then the gods hit their staffs on the floor (ian a bit gentlier bc his was falling apart bc he wouldnt stop fucking licking the fucking ribbons, ian) “a tree!”

and the tree comes up, forwards this time thankfully (phew) and and the tree fuckin cracks the walls of the hotel, get rekt scrubs, and the tree fuckin stalks daniel i guess, and daniels son sits by the tree and looks up and theres a peasant girl in its branches, and ti moune touches everyones hearts and also their livers, and everyone starts singing “why we tell the story”

also, fun story real quick, ive never actually seen eli dab i dont think (that’s something i need to accomplish real soon), and the dance he went off to the side and did with like, lydia, and agwe and ben [last name redacted] and daniels son and hugh — i guess all the boys in musical theater and also lydia, and the dance they have to do looks pretty damn like dabbing, and like, eli’s holding his staff so he cant do a true dab, really, but he can do a one armed one — but no. his dancing looks more like fuckin waving. ben [last name redacted] is dabbing, daniels son is dabbing, im like 80 percent sure ian’s dabbing directly behind eli, gloria’s dabbing in the back, but no, nOT ELI. im pretty sure he’s deliberately avoiding it smh

anyway

whOOP exciting parts over. now it’s time for Sad Half Circle Around Tree Girl i guess

“the stories that we weave,” and the storytellers and daniel’s son and the peasant girl in tree moune’s branches all come to the front and —

“there is an island where rivers run deep…”

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sharksfood · 8 years ago

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so this thought just came into my head and i want to explore it.

in my life i’ve only seen 3 films so far that i read as books before they became movies. im not counting comic books/graphic novels that became movies bcs thats a little different, books that became tv shows, or plays that became movies. but its interesting to think about that.

i didnt read harry potter until well after the films (all of them lmao) were released, i’ve never read how to train your dragon, i’ve never read the hobbit/lotr, the animated alice in wonderland came out in the 50s, i have only recently read the last unicorn, i read World War Z after the movie came out (and ive never seen all of the movie), and i read the neverending story when i was cast in the play.

the books that i read before they came out in film are; The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe, Warm Bodies, and Goosebumps.

Goosebumps kind of fits but it was made into a tv series first, and im not sure if i read the books or saw the shows first. i did both, i know that much.

I read Warm Bodies only bcs I wanted to see the movie but thought the book would be cool to read (its amazing and has a completely different feel from the movie), and Lion Witch Wardrobe was bcs my dad read it to me when I was younger. That and The Magician’s Nephew are the only Narnia books ive ever read.

I was going to try and read Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children before the movie came out, but that work out for me.

if you want to count comics and graphic novels, then the list gets bigger. but comics already have the characters drawn out, so unlike books, you dont have an idea in your head on what the character looks like. that is so often changed in film, plus you loose so much detail and nuance when you go book to screenplay to film (this is also true with comics, but its still different)

However, and the biggest reason as to why I’m thinking about this, two movies will be coming out in the next few years, and both of them are based on my favorite books of all time (aside from the alice books of course).

The first is Captain Underpants! I know that this is a book series with words and pictures, so technically its a graphic novel series, but they’re kids books! and those tend to have an awful lot of pictures. This series was my FAVORITE (other than the alice books) as a kid!! they were fun, hilarious, relatable, and just all around super great. So when i saw the trailer for the animated film that’s coming out this year based on the series i was ECSTATIC!! Were it live-action i would be bummed out since kids picture books usually fair better when animated (im not a fan of the diary of a wimpy kid movies....) but this animation is handled a lot like The Peanuts movie. The animation look like a color and 3D version of the exact art style!! its wonderful and im SO EXCITED

The other one, and this i am VERY VERY nervous about, is Ready Player One. that is my favorite sci-fi novel ever. i often say its my favorite book ever bc it deserves more love! and i do so much love it. ive reread it i dont even know how many times. and what do you know, they’re making it into a movie!! when i heard about this i had so many mixed feelings, and most of it has to do with the style of the book and the characters.

-Ready Player One Spoilers-

In Ready Player One the protagonist starts out as a dirt poor, fat, unattractive teen boy, and later he gets more physically fit/healthy and rich. he claims to still be unattractive at this point (mostly bcs he jues doesnt like how he looks and he looses all his body hair). this is very important to the character! i’m afraid that in this movie hollywood will do as they always do and make him a skinny conventionally attractive teen from the get-go. people will probably pull the Holes excuse of “the filmmakers didnt want to make the actor gain a bunch of weight and then loose it all” BULLSHIT they can cast a fat actor! and through his training and as they film the movie he can loose some weight or they can use movie magic (like when they made chris evans a scrawny little thing). its not that hard, people.

Another character, and this was super important to me and was a big subplot, is that Wade best friend, Aech, whom he only knows through the game (OASIS) plays as a white, straight, guy avatar, but they’re actually a black lesbian named Helen. And she plays this avatar to protect herself and to get a job and be taken seriously within OASIS. is super sad she has to do this, but its a big part of her character. she’s also fat as well, and im REALLY worried that in the movie she’s going to be a skinny straight white girl.

Two other characters who have important characteristics are Art3mis (Samantha) and the creator of OASIS James Halliday. Art3mis is Wade later love interest and GF. She is notable bcs her avatar is just like her, a chubby girl with black hair, but sans her port-wine birthmark. I know they’ll keep her birthmark, since its an intimate reveal, but they’ll probably make her skinny and i hate it. Now it’s only half canon in the books, but i’ve chosen to go with it, but at one point Wade talks about James Halliday’s childhood and his personality and all that, and mentions that he might have been autistic. Now, since it’s only he “might have been” in the books, the filmmakers will probably not make him autistic. That’s fucking sad to me, I mean, it would be amazing!! This character is one of the smartest, most famous, most prolific video game programmers/designers in history!! And he’s autistic! That is some wonderful representation and the filmmakers should jump on that opportunity. It’ll inspire so many autistic people who have a passion for video games to pursue their dreams. But, i have a hunch they wont go with it.

Two other characters, Daito and Shoto, are Japanese young guys who claim to be brothers (and their characters are) but are just friends in the real world. My initial hunch was that the filmmakers would keep them Japanese, but given the recent whitewashing of important Japanese characters, I have my doubts.

My few other concerns are that this movie won’t have 80s pop culture as the main style and focus of the era they book is set in, not to mention OASIS and most of people’s interests. It’s incredibly important to the novel, but so many dystopian movies choose to go with gritty, futuristic, edgy stuff. The other concern is how they will handle the real life vs OASIS look, since over half of the book takes place inside a VR video game. I’ve seen news that they are utilizing VR technology, but i havent read too much. I’m wondering if they’ll animate all of OASIS and the avatars and action and anything in the video game! That would be awesome.

So these are all my thoughts. I havent looks at who they’ve cast yet, so I’m going to do that right now. I do know that Steven Spielberg is directing it, which could be fantastic or terrible. Okay, cast time.

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So the IMDB doesnt say who is cast as Daito and Shoto, but Wikipedia says that Win Morisaki of PrizmaX will play him, which is great! I hope that’s what happens.

Art3mis/Samantha will be played by Olivia Cooke, who in my opinion is way too old. She’s older than me! The character’s age (i think) isnt mentioned in the book, but she’s got to be 17-20, and Olivia Cooke looks older than that. She’s also not chubby, but hey, maybe they’ll fit that. She also doesnt have the birthmark, but that’s gonna be makeup. (wouldve been cool if they found an actress with a port-wine stain on her face...)

Parzival/Wade will be played by Ty Sheridan. He was Cyclops in X-Men Apocalypse. He’s the right age, but way too fit and attractive. DAMN IT Well, I guess there’s always makeup and special effects, but i’m 80% sure now they wont make Wade fat.....

Aech/Helen will be played by Lena Waithe who is almost PERFECT. She’s much older than Aech, who is around 18, but like Samantha i imagine they’ll have make up and acting to cover it. My biggest concern is that she’s not fat like Aech, which means they’ll use a body suit or effects or Lena will gain weight, or they wont do anything.....

T.J. Miller will be playing I-r0k, who is another OASIS player and a bigtime douchebag jerk. This is perfect. We don’t know his age, or really anything other than his personality and avatar, and T.J. Miller is hilarious so this/ll be great.

Mark Rylance will be playing James Halliday, witch is fine by me. He’s not quite what I imagined, but thats what makeup and wigs are for. He’s worked a lot with Steven Spielberg, so that makes sense as to why he’s cast here. I just hope he can portray an autistic character well and with respect.... (would be better if he IS autistic but ya know.....)

Simon Pegg will be playing Ogden Morrow, the co-creator of OASIS, and thats perfect. No complaints.

Nolan Sorrento (the antagonist of the book and head of operations at Innovative Online Industries) will be played by Ben Mendelsohn, who was Director Krennic in Rouge One. He is much older and not quite and slimy as I imagined him, but this can totally work. I pictured Nolan Sorrento as Andrew Scott in my head, since he seems like the perfect evil, charismatic, slimy, attractive but ugly inside business man.

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So, after looking at the current casting choices im a little let down, but still excited! I’ll have to wait patienly for the trailer, since this thing is coming out in 2018. Dang, this turned into a Ready Player One post, but its been on my mind recently.

If you read through all of this, good job! let me know what you think! i probably dont talk about Ready Player One very often but thats bcs i dont know anyone in real life (other than my dad) who has read this book, and the online fandom seems nonexistent. Who knows?

But yeah, I guess I made this post bcs I wasn’t able to share the collective nervousness, complaints, and excitement of Harry Potter or LotR or Percy Jackson fans when their fav books became movies.

#babble #i talk a lot about books and movies #mostly ready player one lmao

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calvinlepesh · 6 years ago

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Interpret how u please but know it saved my mind and soul.

SUMMARYWe have primitive speech in comparison to aliens/ superior being/s/ {Our God self]DONT FUCKING READ THIS IF U ARENT OPEN MINDED! DEADASS FUCKING SERIOUS UR GONNA MISS OUT.to become open minded you must have some form of empathy. Some form meaning you must have to have either the almost perfect understanding empathy based on your ability to place yourself in somebody elses position along with all of their past tramas, what they just fucking ate, basically whatever relevant to the situation apparent or not. I.E do I help this guy for gas hes asking the clerk hes begging he says hes got no money has to get home to his family. seems like a good dude. not making a fuss. being very nice about it. I paid for his fucking gas. Thats good energy right there. sent away and returned in ways that probably already occured but I don't reconize them as a direct result from helping. If you did what you thought was right or whatever you wanted to do actually. Which is what you're going to do anyways cause thats what you fucking decieded you wanted yourself to do. So if this doesn't hit you like it hits most people and myself included. Then just close the book and call me insane. If being insane is living content in my beliefs and my tommorow during the today but with passion for the future. then im fucking insane. Because thats what my program has done for me Truly search for good and if it isn't what you want to spend your time trying to help or doesnt concern you. You weren't meant to be concerened by it and thats okay because it will concern someone else at the right time. etc considered and making a choice based off of critical information secured from a display of empathy. If you cant show empathy practice please fucking practice before you continue reading. Actually idgaf you do you. Your life do what you desire.Speech is used to manifest things into reality of time. Typically faster if done consistently. Tested and proved. By many. My barber for example. little over 7 months ago living in a 1 bed room dumb girlfriend cat and hes cutting hair in his kitchen. The entire time throughout the year hes telling me about this house hes getting his own very first house brand fucking new completely taylored to him. He told me saying Lep yeah my mom is helping me buy a house and get my career moving finally. After long periods of being told to basically fuck off his mom basically has a change of heart randomly. Hes got a 3 bedroom house. A barber room with checkered floot. 3 tvs niceass fucking interior furniture hes painting the house and has done many renovations over the last few months of him having this house. Just returning there earlier tonight actually I had walked in and had to check if he changed the paint in his front room again! Truly He doesn't even realize it completely. Hes almost so dumb hes smart. in a sense that being happy is being smart. He isn't stupid tho. My barber is on some of the same shit I am. Some. thats a different story tho. The point is he talked to me everytime he cut my hair for 6 month. Not just me I know for certain. He would talk motherfuckers ears off im sure they hated it. Honestly I hadn't been enlightened at this point. I fucking hated it. OMg yeah we fucking get it bro u want checkered floors. So many motherfuckers are talking nowadays. But do they always talk the same shiteveryday? Ill say it again. Do you talk about the same thing everysingle day? Do you talk to someone every single day? I don' t even have to ask what or why you do it. You're doing it because you have the desire of the company of that person. or their opinion, Whatever they have of value or beneficially or mutually beneficially to you or both. My barber talked about all the cool shit he was gonna do with his house. Having a pit bike track in the back. making a fire bit. building a deck. Making a TV back drop out of stained wood stained nailed and cut by him and I. Painted the entire house. CHECKERED FLOORS MOTHERFUCKERS. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO is MANIFEST IT IN YOUR LIFE. The sooner you start talking about and creating this lifestyle and figuring out how you're going to do it one day at a time. Talk to the person ur nervous to talk to. If they fall in love with you. THATS FUCKING KICKASS. if he thinks u dont belong in his universe right now understand thats a huge fucking positive in your life. Now you can live in this moment in time and know in this moment in time that it isn't happening because if it isn't meant to happen yet if at all. For all you know you could meet him in 5 years and get married have 3 kids live happily ever after. Straight the fuck up! Right now im consistently talking to a girl i had the hugest crush on but never did anything about it. WHY DIDN'T I DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. CAUSE HOW FUCKING AWKWARD WOULD IT HAVE BEEN in minnesota when im visiiting and havent been home for christmas in 5 years that we just so happen to go get breakfest at a taveren like wtf? and its where she works serving. Top it off while we are walking in I see the sign of the place and reconize it from an instagram post that she posted and I had liked and inturn she liked my picture. whatever not important. all im trying to say is the future is 100% unpredictable in every sense. but at the same time it will be 100% guarenteed with my mindset program if applied properly. You never know tomorrow and that may scare you but what if you already had chosen what happens tomorrow long before anything existed? Do you trust your own judgement? The best part is you dont even have to trust your own judgement. YOU DONT HAVE TO DO ANYTHING YOU DONT WANT TO DO. But sometimes doing them is what you're meant to do typically for your benefit anyways, if not its a punishment, and if it isn't your benefit its somebody elses and they may or may not know that you're the direct cause. you may or may not know ever. But I believe that when we die we are enlightened and are shown the purpose to life. whether a test or a simulation. multiple tests inside one another or something uncomprehensible to myself or anyone. But thats different. What I do know is that a key to a good life Is a good mindset. Choose the mindset of I'm the shit. Cause I am, Cause I decieded I am, Im good fucking looking, People may call you a slut or whore but honestly it may be disgusting a little bit but they're probably jealous of all the hot people you've been with. Or even the fact ur getting laid. most single people hate on girls anyway. aint no boy in a nice healthy relationship talking shit on females and if he is he probably likes u and is trying to hide it. anyways besides the point. You need to develop something you say to yourself {I recommend} outloud {especially for getting started} whether written or set as an alarm for your phone ur background to your phone it could be a picture with a completely hidden message behind it. just associate something or have something that has things you know deep down in your soul you need to say to yourself. For example for me, Ive always been sensitive, still am a lot less than I was alot, But over time After being outcasted from my family at 15 being legally kiddnapped, and broken down on all aspects of self with many failed although maybe not completely failed attempts at bettering myself to the way that works for normies or the purposefully chosen people to be uneducated of the power of speech. They were esentially taking me in at 15 with a metaphorical emotionally broken leg. { ie i hate myself and im a bad person i dont give a fuck and i just want to die cause i dont understand the world} that was my attitude ie the broken metaphorical leg that I came into the school but for the sake of this metaphor this hospital with. However pretend in our metaphor the break in my leg is un noticeable. if ur slow as fuck just know the broken leg is a metaphor for my fucked up thinking. The hospitol or treatment center/school I was at cant fix my leg without me telling them my leg is broken. Now they knew something is wrong or else I wouldnt be there. Many claim at that hospital upon recent arrival that there's been a mistake and they don't need to be there. many times I laughed with everyone else at group along with the director Parker. Parker I believe knows alot about this but would never share with the group for possiblities of the kids claiming they're being brain washed or told to believe such things without an adult or atleast enlightened soul and mind these practices may sound slightly lucritive. Anyway back to the story. Metaphorically I tried many times to dodge and weave around questions asked in therapy sometimes even hamming it up to seem cool because of how insecure I was. trying to seek acceptance from my therapist lmfao very dark times. Which got darker with small light at the end of the tunnel. Thats the thing about parker he never took away full hope and if he did he had a good reason for doing so. I completely trust his judgement even to this day. Lying to ur therapist or even if they think you're lying to your therapist which usually they're right. The only reason they were ever wrong with me lying was because the decision was made based on previous situations of past lies. Lied before you'll lie again? possibly. Anyway, the darkness brought upon u metaphorically and almost not was the wall/work crew. ADAYONTHEWALL In a way this is tramatic but it almost shouldnt be. It was trautic because I put myself there many times. Purposefully yes in a sense but not the living sense. I wanted to be the perfect student at Liahona. Be the leader everyone looked up to. Be the family fucking leader. But I literally just was to immature and weak in all aspects. Too much so to do any of those things. Now that I think back the beauty of it Is I did eventually get all of those things. Because I manifested them. I desired both with my words and the vibes my words created in my body that the universe recieved. My body had translated what I wrote in my daily evals every night at Liahona. I attended Liahona for 711 days. 9 Days short from 2 years. The program is 9 months long. Back to the main subject. The wall. 6 am wake the fuck up. HEADCOUUUUUNT!!!. Big ass motherfucking dude named Quando shouts it at the top of his lungs. LMFAO pretty funny to think but this guy would scare the shit out of new kids in the mornings. shouting out of their beds. I definitely woke up thats for sure. The whole facility of 50-60 boys come out of there room pretty much as fast as possible although groggily everyone dressed in the same navy blue shorts and grey liahona t-shit tucked into our gym shorts with either white black or grey solid socks. No designs or wild shit. All the rules at Liahona were created over the years it had transitioned from an old house to the facility to the newer facility. Everything from tuck in ur chair at all times to. turn off the lights when you leave a room. Hundred of rules probably around over a thousand actually. I hated it off the bat but what was I gonna do? anyway. After everyone lines up in a U- formation with quando standing in the open portion of the U. He would say the same things every morning. Almost as if he was designed to say the same or relatively the same thing. One thing was for sure the message was clear every morning. Go back to your rooms Today is a new day its a beautiful day make your beds and start studying your quote or doing whatever you're aloud to do until you go for the morning run and breakfest. Now quado probably used a great deal more broken english being from the pacific islands one of em sorry dont actually know. anyways. we dismiss. or atleast. everybody else does. perusual here I am. I sit down in my LIFETIME costco chair sitting mere inches from the head of my twin mattress. I will now sit in this chair for the remainder of the day unless instructed or allowed otherwise. 6-7 morning shift arrives. Can't look away. I think to myself staring at the wall. The desire to look is bad but even the thought of having to write another 300 word essay although they've become easy now, pointless to get one for something so easily avoidable. putting my elbows on my knees I duck my head do as If to pretend im studying the quote (a passage of around 100 words- alot of fucking words that must be memorized in full word for word straight the fuck up and recited to either a very trusted upper level or staff member who will tell you when you mess up and must stop and either use one of 2 hints allowed by parker to figure out whatever word u forgot or fail and take a 300 word essay, However if the quote is failed to be passed off before friday then your points for that week will be cut into half basically prolonging your stay to an extent given points are used to determine not in full but definitely play a large part in even the opportunity of you being recommended to get your next level Ie the quote is very important, very difficult, and I fucking hated it so fucking much you have no idea, Fuck the fucking stupid fucking quote. Parker is smart for the fact that he knows theres got to be something that seems and may possibly be a punishment that is time consuming and benefits those who work harder and faster destroying room for socialism. Basically parker created the quote to see who the fuck is really trying and how hard. Based on when you pass off the quote, If you pass off the quote, and how long of the quote is and whats in the quote. Parker can determine your loyalty to the program and therefore your recovery) Sitting in my chair and ducking my head between my armpits I can finally look around in a small area on each side of my body without getting too ballsy. This is my entertainment for the remainder of the day. Besides playing with my hand/feet. Tapping my feet/hand. looking at the US map{ and sometimes if they put u on the other wall or farther down you got the south america map. To this day can name the south american countries for the most part in alphabetical order. Crazylol. I can do the states right now. anyways. } Eating Oats and water with 2 of the gnarliest fucking red delicious apples every fucking morning. YO WHERE DID U FIND THOSE FUCKING APPLES MARK AND WHOEVER THE FUCK SHOPPED? jesus christ. Still don't eat red delicious apples THERE NOT FUCKING delicious. liars anyway. Before that when morning shift arrives typically shortly after if not immediately after their arrival we do another headcount. Of course yelled much less.... whats the word.... manly lol. Derek had the lamest headcount call. His unenthusiastic Severous snape from harry potter like almost moan like noise. anyways fuck u derek. Derek would take us to get our shoes, at both the new and old facility there are shoe closets that contain every students single pair of running shoes. The new facility also has our never to be touched til we leave or go on a visit personal items. After getting our shoes on. We went outside. line up on the concrete basket ball court in 5 lines spanning accross the entire court each student assigned to a 'family' upon arrival in no paticular order I hope but idk. Usually it was the one with the lowest amount of students but some family leaders would try to boost by trying to speak with newer students asap and within the rules. Communication of any kind with any student not directly monitored without being directly told otherwise is strictly forbidden. No form of communication head bobs nods winks smiles smirks laughs even eye contact for long periods of time. Although of course these rules were broken many times over the course of my stay. I definitely stopped talking to kids. Literally it taught me and im kinda glad it did it taught me to not ask my peers but elder people with wisdom and knowledge for help. However in therapy groups they allow us to communicate freely with the presnence of the therapist who was 1 of two therapists. However he would quickly correct any advice given from a student to a student to not only teach us the correct way to solve whatever issue being discussed or shared. but almost in a way indirectly teaching you that experience and age are similar but not the same and to seek those that give the best advice and help the most which tend to be the people u want anyways. I did learn many many many many useful things that I still use today from Liahona. Because of going im now 1000x ahead of an average person my age. Given my experiences and newly found and enlightened self. Given to me when I was ready to give it to myself. When I learned I control this reality with how I feel. And I tend to feel how I talk. Because my talk conveys my emotion. Talk good feel good do good deserve good. Lined up on the basketball court right my bad Im side tracked for the millionth time. gimme a break lol anyways. We line up in 5 columns of anywhere from 10 to 13 students typically ten atleast. 50 jumping jacks Go!" 1..2..3..4..5..6..7- ......49..50. 50 laps chop it up. At 8 laps a mile 50 laps was common but not that common. For awhile it was daily. All of our days depended on how all of us acted as a whole. If one person tried to run and doesnt succeed obvisouly never have never will. Everybody goes on lock down. No talking no moving everybody sits in a circle. study a gigantic quote for that week cause homeboy tried running. or whatever the case is. Basically if you dont pull your weight somebody else has to and that weight is only their cause you are inturn now they hate u lol. Definitely was unlike for a vast majority by the vast majority however luckily in the end all works out as does all things in this universe in my world or currently my world.story sorry again 50 pushups now in unicen aswell 123-49-50 Then he tells us to go run and sometimes he'll tell u how many laps and sometimes hed tell u when you get to his standing spot at the finish line after your first lap. He does this to guage how and when certain students put in more effort. Shorter run? more harder runners? longer run? Whos putting in effort regardless of circumstance ie whats going on in ur life. Ie how many laps you got How are you moving before you know what your next move is. Are you jogging that first lap until derek tells you to save your breath cause you're banking on it being a longer run. Have you been running slow for 3 laps but the run was only 8 today so ur wasting ur time being lazy. Derek would see when you would run hard. who made u run harder cause u wanted to beat them. how many laps does it have to be minimum to run on the first lap. Whos running hard the first lap regardless of circumstance. They could tell who you were and what you could offer before you even knew anything about any of that. Because honestly you didnt give a fuck about trying before. atleast I didn't. I soon did. Over those 711 days I ran 95 percent of the week day mornings. was in niceass shape too for 17. weekends we got off thankf uckign god. After the blisters heal and you get calices on ur feet from running in the beginning being a new student it sucks alot don't get me wrong and it'll suck for awhile but you'll eventually learn to adapt and conquer by anymeans. I quit after 6 laps my first run. Not even a mile. sat down said I needed my inhaler. I didn't even have one.

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