hivemindofevilbats

[hivemindofevilbats]

i must not kill myself . killing myself is the myself killer

[hivemindofevilbats]

You know AI guys are living in another reality bc the amount of terror I would feel if a computer sent me, unprompted, an image of a blank-expression copy of myself trapped in a endless hallway of mirrors is frankly indescribable

[hivemindofevilbats]

for the new year I brought you jmart!

gosh I love them............

[hivemindofevilbats]

Hi, I hope you're doing well and I am sorry in advance if I sent you this message before. We are very close to the goal and I really need your help. I'm writing to you with a heavy heart and an urgent request for help. My family is in a very danger situation due to the ongoing war, and I've launched a GoFundMe campaign to save them. Could you please rebblog my campaign post from my profile?🙏 Feel free to share it in any other social media platform if you would like. Our campaign has been verified ⭐️ by operation olive branch, and is entry number 26 on their spreadsheet. Also with ⭐️ Project watermelon,line 249/(212) on their spreadsheet. From the bottom of my heart I want to thank you in advance for all of your support and kindness.

.

[hivemindofevilbats]

2025 affirmations ‪‪❤︎‬

- my asshole boss is not stalking me

- my coworkers aren’t freaks

- i’m rational and levelheaded

- idgaf about clowns

- my ex situationship does NOT seem different

[hivemindofevilbats]

[hivemindofevilbats]

party rockers in their bed tonight. every body just have a good night

[hivemindofevilbats]

when people put "trigger warning" on their content without specifying what the trigger warning is for

[hivemindofevilbats]

[hivemindofevilbats]

A letter to a tired mother

I think you exist on the opposite end of the same spectrum; you both live in the past. You see the past through rose tinted glasses and they see it through clouds of dark fog. You look through happy memories to distract yourself from the pain of the present, they look through the dark ones to explain the heaviness of the now. You see only the sweet nostalgia that seeps through our lives, they see only the flash of the knife that carved them into the person, and us into the family we are today. 

Both of you are right, and yet both of you couldn’t be more wrong.

I remember the happy times. I remember playing stacksies on your bed in the morning. I remember sitting at the table and talking. I remember marshmallows over the fire and climbing the pear tree. I remember camping trips, tents and flashlights and spitting out toothpaste into the creek. I remember the dark cold awe of caves, and coming back out into the sun. I remember being told that we wouldn’t buy a dress, we had stayed up too late the night before, but getting one anyway. I remember archery, and excitedly talking about the french photographers. I remember reading in the car drives to and from dance. I remember sausage sizzles, no onions, barbeque sauce. I remember asking questions I couldn’t hope to understand and just listening to the sound of you talking. I remember laughing until my stomach hurt. I remember hours of trying to beat you at Sleeping Queens, you always won but I didn’t care. I remember Mama’s hugs were the safest place in the world. I remember coming home and excitedly rambling about the spelling of biscuits. I remember hugging goodbye at airports, and coming back a week later convinced I had been changed for the better. I remember. 

I also remember the bad times. I remember yelling, being convinced you and Dada were going to break up and it would be my fault. I remember lying awake, deaths playing on loop in my head, and eventually crying myself to sleep. I remember snapping at people, the slight offense they had caused being the gravest insult in the world. I remember when my best friend in daycare left and I had to be taken out of the class because I was too upset, and I remember coming home and crying. I remember sobbing, convinced the door to my room was locked and I would never get out. I remember feeling like an outcast in my friend group, like no-one actually wanted me there. I remember fights at school and fights at home. I remember feeling like a burden to everyone, and trying to make myself smaller, less noticeable. I remember feeling unappreciated, and getting mad at people for it. I remember when some of my friends refused to play with me for weeks because I didn’t know how to play Minecraft, and I remember you telling me they probably weren’t good friends anyway. I remember.

I don’t remember everything. I don’t think I want to, I’d be too overloaded with memories to function properly. I don’t blame you for the bad things that I remember, bad things happen to every child as they grow up. Or rather, if I were to blame you for every dark spot, then I must also blame you for all the light in between. I did not have a perfect childhood. I do not believe such a thing exists. I also did not have a terrible childhood. Overall, I think I was happy, or content, most of the time, but I also don’t think that we should deny that there were inevitable bad times. 

So yes, both of you are right; there were good times, there were bad times.

But, as I said, you are also both wrong. I don’t want to live in the past. I don’t want to be so focussed on trying to convince others that yes there were good times, yes I do remember them, that I miss out on the good times happening now. I don’t want to be so deeply entrenched in past misery that I miss out on the bittersweet aches of today. I want to live in the present. I want to stay up late reading a book and regret it the next morning but wow that ending. I want to wake up early to go for a walk and see the sun rise. I want to grit my teeth and force myself into doing things that I enjoy, I want to drag myself through the mental block into happiness until it becomes routine again. I want to do this again and again and again, until it becomes easy to lift myself off the floor, until I don’t have to psych myself up to do the smallest thing, until I can live in the moment. Then there will be time for memories, in the evenings, exhausted, everything tinged orangy-pink by distance.

There will be time enough for nostalgia later, Mama. I don’t want to waste it uselessly longing for a time that can never be returned. I want to live. And I want you to come with me.

[hivemindofevilbats]

more of my favorites. i can’t stop thinking about it

[hivemindofevilbats]

more of my favorites. i can’t stop thinking about it

[hivemindofevilbats]

... ? I may get rabies.

This is fine.

Me irl

[hivemindofevilbats]

[hivemindofevilbats]

[hivemindofevilbats]

Occasionally as an Australian you'll be talking to someone from overseas, and you'll discover a common phrase you took for granted is, in fact, not universally known outside of our country.

Turns out casually dropping "fuck me dead" into conversation will give unsuspecting Americans an aneurism.

The more you know.

[hivemindofevilbats]

Process of Stroll in the Snow ✍️❄️