#idk its just been on my mind all day bc i just reached The Bit last night and now i cant stop thinking about it lmao

[i-starcreamed]

Since you enjoy the trope, how about "only one circuit slab" with your choice of bot? :3 you know who my #1 is but go with whoever you think it would be most fun with. (If you want a more specific setup I'd be happy to toss some ideas around with you)

hopefully these are good...i had to go with OUR #1 and a couple other bots :3 although you already know that bc you helped with the silly ideas. did not edit this btw my bad if its all over the place

also human reader!! These turned out way longer than I thought, I think idk how to write headcanons and end up writing short imagines but eh, I was inspired

Post includes -> Swerve, Rodimus, and TFP Ratchet

MTMTE Swerve

A completely normal day on the LL, Swerve had closed down his bar for the day and you had stayed back to talk to him even as the last bot left the place. Being the friendly bot he is, he offered to give you a ride back to your room which you accepted

As you rode down the halls of the ship, Swerve mentioned how he has been looking for a roommate for like, ever, and since his room was big enough for another bot it was surely perfect for you.

You agreed of course and he immediately made plans to show you around his humble abode

Well guess what?

You turned the corner and instead of seeing his room there was a big ass crater in place of it

Your jaws dropped and agreed that he can stay In your room instead...at least until his room is rebuilt. Roommates, right?

Only problem blessing was that you had one bed

After some light arguing of who sleeps where, you both settled that you'll sleep awkwardly next to him where he wouldn't crush you and he would turn the other way. You settled down and stared at the ceiling as you stiffly lay there, wanting to give him his space. He respectfully gave you your space but continued to try to make conversation, although it was a bit awkward since you two weren't facing eachother

Another problem arose, you were on the edge of the bed and weren't use to not being nestled into your blankets, the ship was cold, you started shivering.

"I don't even know if you can hear me right now, I mean its not that muffled right? I can always speak a little clearer or louder but I shouldn't keep you up. Are you tired yet? I don't want to-"

"Swerve? Can you turn around?"

He turned and faced the ceiling while his helm turned towards you, he was about to inquire but was immediately silenced when you started climbing him and put down your pillows and blankets on his chest.

"It's uh, its cold. I could always move if you mind th-"

"No."

He blurted out. You could feel the metal beneath you radiate pure heat, more than usual. It was comforting. You sigh and lay down, cuddling up against your blankets and well, him, the best way you could. You could feel the soft hum of his spark beneath you, it was comforting. You didn't pay attention to the way your face heat up as your eyes fluttered shut

Swerve could only lay there, absolutely frozen. For once he was at a loss for words and he wondered if you could tell his spark felt like shooting out of his chest

He slowly reached out, his servo hovering above you for a second. You said you were cold, right? He hesitantly placed one servo above you, it ever so gently cradled your sleeping form.

You bet with that amount of warmth you got the best sleep of your life

He was NOT able to recharge that night. On one hand, he was keeping you safe and warm. On the other, the massive grin on his face would not go away

Maybe his room should get destroyed more often, or just maybe he can delay the reconstruction of it

MTMTE Rodimus

The LL had gone onto another one of its expeditions and you just so happened to have gotten lost with the most reckless but endearingly dedicated mech

It's been hours since you've been treading along this strange planet and during that time, you found out that the locals are not human-friendly whatsoever

It gets to the point where the two of you have gone way too long without any rest/recharge, Rodimus has sent an emergency signal and hoped that someone from the crew would find you two soon. However it gets apparent you both need to make a stop before you both pass out from exhaustion, especially you

Rodimus insists on transforming into his alt mode and you sleeping there until the morning, but you're equally as stubborn and insist on keeping watch for him.

He only agreed because of how blushy that made him. You, his special human, want to protect him even in these circumstances? Fine, you can sit on his shoulder and keep watch while he settles down to avoid using any more energon

Not even 10 minutes later, he feels your head suddenly rest near his neck-cables.

"Y/N?"

No response except your soft breathing, there's a soft smile on his faceplates knowing that you had fallen asleep.

He carefully takes you from his shoulder and transforms, in a split second you were laying down and peacefully sleeping in his alt-mode.

It may not be a bed/circuit slab but you're the only human he'd let sleep in his alt-mode, expect the seats to be warm when you wake up or his engines to purr if he's driving

Absolute endless teasing back on the LL btw, WILL ask for you to sleep in his alt-mode again or to have some sort of sleepover

TFP Ratchet

This medic is the definition of overworking yourself

Rarely ever he gets to recharge NEAR you and you swore you have never seen him actually recharge without Optimus or you begging him

This specific day wasn't any different, except you kept tossing and turning in your bed. Something was bothering you and you weren't sure what, it just did not let you sleep. No matter how tired you felt, your body would not let you rest.

Cue you going to accompany Ratchet and him being concerned and scolding you as to why you were up at such an hour

You responded with a slow frog blink

"I can't sleep."

He lets you stay with him a while and just hopes you'll fall asleep eventually, it had happened before after all. He puts you on his shoulder and otherwise continues working, fully expecting you to fall asleep in a couple of minutes

30 minutes go by and you're still awake somehow, your half-lidded eyes staring and probably getting fried by the screen. He has a small mental battle with himself before he sighs and decided to...stop working (explodes)

"Will you get some sleep if I...if I stay with you?"

He says it almost reluctantly. But only you know that its a genuine offer. If you weren't so tired you would've leaped up in the air and shouted YES!! But instead you sleepily nodded your head and clung onto him.

He groaned and headed over to his room which was bland besides some belongings, gifts from the kids, and his unused recharge slab.

There he would lay down, expecting to wait for you to sleep and then continue his work. But he didn't expect it to be this relaxing

You laying there with him, near his shoulder armor and neck-cables, softly breathing and huddled against him. It didn't take him long for his exhaustion to finally catch up to him. He blames you for being so...calming and wonderful.

Before he drifts into recharge, he turns his helm towards you so his cheek is still in contact with you. Hes just trying to make you comfortable obviously, no, it's not out of his own enjoyment. Hes just tired, okay?

Speak of it in the morning and suddenly he forgets how to talk and cant get an explanation out without sputtering

[pumpkinsy0]

since its thanksgiving, im just gonna offer the headcanon idea i know we're all thinking about today: hcs for extended family visiting the curtis' house for the first time and they're very passive aggressive doing that nice but mean southern thing and Pony (having moved to NY in my mind and being the progressive king that he is 💗) is tweaking out a little but is trying to keep his composure so his brothers (and the part of the gang that's celebrating with them) can get to know the family without interruption and be able to somehow be closer to their parents in a way?? Idk but that's my kings logic, but then... they say smth about Curly or him and curly and/or the gang being there and Pony goes OFF. Like no one has ever seen him get so mad and get so VERBAL about it 😭 I feel like once the extended family leaves everyone is like THANK GOD and Pony was so confused because he thought they were chilling but in REALITY they were just as mad as him but bit their tongues because they wanted PONY to be able to feel more connected to their parents through their extended family ANDD perhaps the reason some of the extended family said smth about curly is because OUR KING was telling them off privately or smth! Is this ask too long and detailed to be considered a hc request? (Also if it wasn't clear, adult papercut because I loooove them)

i love thanksgiving beef man, sometimes its funny asf😭😭

but omg u r so real for having pony move to nyc cause i was always thinking the same lowkey,,,,yes its self projection to have him live there but i have other reasons guys i swear i do!!!!

BUT YEA!! hcs woo!!!!!

•ive always believed that mr and mrs curtis kinda ran away FROM their families and went no contact around the time mrs curtis was pregnant w darry, darrys always been aware of it but it never bothered him much!! but he knows soda and ponys always had some sort of curiosity about em, thing is their parents never told them y they went no contact, so when that side if the family reached out they were like “what the hell, sure”

•and for extra drama lets say this side of the family r socs, i like drama what can i say, BUT POINT IS, none of em rlly know shit about the other, but the gang SWEARS to b on their best behavior for the sanity of each other

•skipping to them actually BEING there, i will tell u that while tensions were TOTALLY there, there was a sliver of hope. they were friendly at first (mostly to the curtis bros) and kinda dismissive of the gang asking if they were gonna day the WHOLE day, but they werent “outright disrespectful” so they sucked it up

•yes btw, that was a red flag for like EVERYONE, but like u said, theyre all going through this bs for the sake of everyone else, if one person loses it, they all will

•this isnt to say that the gang is 100% biting their tongues tho!!! they arent taking it from anyone, they just dont do as much as they normally would, they share looks and annoyed sighs too, that whole friendly thing from early is just deteriorating

•ANYWAYS that family is talking shit about everything, its literally EVERYTHING, their house, their clothes, the food, they knitpick EVERYTHING, the only person theyre showing any semblance of respect towards is pony!!! they r absolutely taking shots at darry and soda, calling them irresponsible to raise pony the way they did, and then they say “bless ur hearts”???? oh yea everyone is SICCCKKKK of them😭😭

•nobody rlly has a problem w them hyping up pony, they will take all the shots if that just means pony is respected , thats their little brother right there!!!! so when the family is just questioning pony about living in nyc and his life there, theyre genuinely interested, but ponys not warming up to em, he can feel them pity him a little bit and he hatessss pity

•especially bc their pity is coming from their judgement of his family!!! they feel bad for him for being raised in such a “poor enviorment”

•BUT BACK TO CURLY!!! when they hear about curly being ponys roommate, u already knowwww they got something to say about him, pony didnt even mention them being together, they just had that vibe about pony (LMAOOOO), and turns out talking about curly was just ponys tipping point cause now u ESPECIALLY know nothing about that part of his life!! shut up!!!

•pony blowing up at them would b such a quick thing, he doesnt stay there and argue, he says what he has to say (which idk what he says exactly but ik it was insane, pony has such a way w words) and just walks out to get fresh air

•when he finally calms down and gets himself together tho, iiii dont think hes going back home immediately, he feels so bad for ruining the dinner and doesnt have the strength to go back inside in fear of everyone looking at him and seeing darry and soda all sulky

•eventually after walking for a solid 30 mins he got rlly cole and decided to go back inside and he just sucked it up and went back inside, however!!!! he noticed the family left and his heart dropped but when he walked in he noticed that everyone else was still eating and talking!!happier even!!! yahoo!!!!!

•pony tried apologizing and all the gang said was “who cares, they sucked”, darry DID scold pony telling him not to do that again but pony could tell darrys heart wasnt in it, hes so glad they left😭😭

•pony never told curly about this btw, he finds out about this months later bc of two and curly neverrrr lets pony forget about it and hypes him up

[cas-backwards-tie]

I'm new to you page and wa wondering if you had discontinued the pack plan series as its brilliant:))

Ahhh, well, welcome! 💖🥰🫂 We’re so glad to have you here! I want to thank you for reaching out and asking 💕 I always appreciate asks! Even when they’re not related to my fics.

TOPP is definitely still in the works! And because you asked so nicely and cared to inquire, I feel like I owe it to all of you all to post a snippet of the next chapter! 🙌🏻 Because I definitely realize and know how long you guys have been waiting! I’ll post the snippet and then I also can give you an update about the fic/where I’m at, at the bottom.

Snippet of Ch.2:

"Why wouldn't you just tell us?!" Soap grits out, his voice taking on a dark tone as he turns his once sky blue, now stormy, eyes on you. "Do you realize what position you've gone and put us in?"

“Yeah, and what position’s that?” You engage, turning to square off against Johnny, the both of you only a foot apart since you’d been standing next to each other in line.

You’re met with a low warning growl, the motion of his hand balling up into a fist at his side not being missed by your peripheral vision. Despite your defiance not being unusual within the team, your designation now, is known, and an Omega standing up to an Alpha? Not taken kindly upon. Nor is it taken lightly. Regardless, they’re not your Alphas, and that means they have no claim over what you do or say. And while there’s always the risk of an Alpha disciplining an unruly, unclaimed Omega, you’re willing to take it.

"It's your fault, really," Ghost eggs on, making everyone whip their heads in his direction.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[If you don’t know what this is in reference too, here’s the masterlist for the series in question!]

So the reason why I haven’t posted the chapter yet is for a few reasons 💕 One, from a writing standpoint this one is quite longer, and I want it to be amazing for you guys! When I was writing the first chapter I had a friend to help me with the dialogue (which is why I feel I really struggle) and rn I don’t, so I think I’ve been nervous about that a bit.

But also, because in my real life there’s been a lot of major changes recently. In September I found out that I have CIRS (Chronic Inflammatory Response Syndrome) which, is basically like mold sickness but, like, permanent. So I’ve been trying to find somewhere safe to move/detox from the mold w meds bc my body can’t on its own, and I’m actually just finally moving into my new apartment on Sunday! 💖🙌🏻 so that’s cool.

Besides that, I also got diagnosed with, like, idk, I guess it’s a disability, technically, and the fact that I’ve been struggling my whole life with it but never knew has been… kind of mind blowing tbh? Like I haven’t told anyone except one person about it—not even my best friends yet—bc it’s been a lot to work through since… I guess I’ve technically had this my whole life but only now know at 25? 😅🤯

So it’s been a lot of working on my health both physically, mentally, and with moving, my family, Christmas coming up, and trying to find a job/support myself even day-to-day, it’s been kind of taxing tbh balancing everything. And that’s not even mentioning the little social life I do have 😅😭🙈 So while I know it’s frustrating waiting, and I’m sorry that it’s taken so long, I do want to be open and tell you guys what’s going on behind the scenes 💕 Granted, I know not everyone necessarily cares, and that’s okay! If you did read all this, though, I appreciate you and hope you have an amazing day!

Your ask, though, Nonnie definitely is inspiring me to sit down and really finish the next two chapters bc I have both laid out- one nearly finished, the other will be shorter (I think?) because of the plot point it’s mostly about 💕 I will say though, too, it does make me a bit anxious not having had a whole plan for this fic unlike the others which I’ve sort of started writing with a whole plot in mind 😂🙈💖 so I just hope you guys will continue to love it ask much as you’ve loved the first chapter! I genuinely have never received as much love on a work than that one chapter, alone! So I am truly grateful 💖

[skade32]

Inspired by ABBA’s “Slipping through my fingers” lyrics:

I read a fic on AO3 with these lyrics and I WISH I REMEMBERED THE NAME SO I COULD RECOMEND IT

I was inspired to like encapsulate some ‘childhood memories’ of the Fushiguro siblings that I like to imagine Gojo has reminders of in the form of drawings and objects and letters and photos in his office.

In my found family fantasies, Gojo would relate to these lyrics regarding Tsumiki (don’t come after me I know this is mostly copium idc) and her sudden disappearance from his life. Also a little bit for Megumi who is not so suddenly, but nonetheless moving farther away from him as he both becomes an adult and no longer needs Gojo as much as he once did.

This was not really planned to be a whole thing. I initially just drew the bottom panel for fun bc I’m extremely not normal about teenage-single-parent-gojo (again I’m aware of the copium please don’t burn me at the stake) and idk I just couldn’t tear myself away from working on it and the next thing I knew it built itself up to the whole page and I hope other people can enjoy it as much as I have.

Description:

A graph paper notebook page covered entirely with a graphite sketch of a quickly thrown together comic scene. Two panels are featured atop the background which appears to be a cluttered desk in the foreground with numerous kinds of papers strewn about from mission reports to a letter addressed to Tsumiki. Amongst the papers in the top right corner, just adjacent to the first featured panel, a traditional jar of ink supports a dark pen, gently resting at an angle against the ink well. The pen seems to have been carelessly put aside as ink still drips down into the well below. The small portion of the scene not taken up by the desk has the walls, covered entirely by nondescript talismans, loosely sketched so not to drive too much attention from the subjects of the piece.

Wax drips from long-neglected candles, leaving almost no remnants of the once smooth and unblemished form it must have held just hours earlier that day. The residues of the wax leave bulbous trails, stopping just before the edge of the candle-holder sitting just to the left of the first feature panel.

Within the first panel is a scene of a little girl, squatting down so her shorts sit just above the heels of her little rubber rain boots. She seems distracted, lost in thought, as the rain pelts her and the sidewalk beside her becomes more reminiscent of a canal rather than a pedestrian pathway. The overgrown garden of the small cottage she loiters by fades into the misty sky, dark leafy bushels obscured by the soft glow of a lamplight to her left shoulder which complains achingly to the deafened thoughts of Tsumiki’s mind, still lost pondering the butterfly that rests gently upon her outstretched fingers, lovingly sheltered from the oppression of each raindrop which could rip its fragile scales in an instant. Such danger seems to not affect Tsumiki as she endures the assault from the heavens to endure the butterfly gets not a drop on his fragile wings. Her left hand holds the umbrella at such an angle that tree butterfly’s safety is assured, her own soggy hair a small price to pay for preserving such a beautiful creature.

Connecting the edge of this panel’s bottom edge to the background, a small square with a slanted cursive script writes “Slipping through my fingers all the time…”

The second panel, shifted slightly to the right of the former, occupying the focus of the bottom half of the page, displays a simpler image. The bright smile of a certain white haired idiot grows brighter as black spikes hair brushes against his chin. His dimple’s grow deeper when he notices the camera flashing at him and his disgruntled child relenting finally to sleep against his collarbone— leaving no doubt to any onlooker that the smile reached his eyes, true glee racking the young man’s expression as he jokingly flaps a limp hand about in a greeting gesture towards the camera. Whether or not Megumi’s participation in this memory was unwitting or not, that was up for debate. Regardless, the boy was clearly exhausted. Likely from some kind of jujutsu training after a mission that day if his athletic shorts and Gojo’s uniform were any indication.

A text box yet again connects to the bottom left corner of this panel reading: “…I try to capture every minute…”

[krispdreemurr]

oh oh i have an interesting discussion/query ! what do u think the meta purpose of making kris act like they do at the end of chapter 1 was? specifically like the imagery of a kid in a green/yellow shirt manipulating a red soul, pulling out a knife, having red eyes and grinning evilly cause like... i feel like deltarune definitely incorporates the memory of undertale throughout? like its advertised as a game for people who finished undertale and theres lots of references and things that are only as impactful if you had an emotional connection to the original game, like spamton neo and gaster saying "have you been looking for me?" and just.. so many things but most interestingly imo being that ralsei almost comes across like a fanonized "cinnamon roll" version of asriel that was so popular way back when? ofc he's more than that but thats like. a Part of him anyways what i mean is like, when chapter 1 released many people (myself included) saw that and instantly assumed that kris was being controlled by chara because of how strongly chara-esque (*especially* to the fandom, like ralsei) the imagery was, only for chapter 2 to come out and many people (myself included^2) completely disregarded chara as having any bearing on the story whatsoever and that kris is just themself trying *not* to be controlled by us. i think we can all agree that the latter is correct, and some people were clearly smarter than me in chapter 1 and deduced the truth even then (e.g. lynxgriffin in their comics), but i am left wondering what the point of that was almost? i thought you might have some interesting thoughts on that, cause like, if kris's frustration with the player is essentially the main plot of the game (give or take), the allusion to chara was a little bit 'distracting' for the fandom i feel like? some ppl are (somehow) still confused & blaming chara even! i guess im just wondering, what if kris had wore a different shirt and menaced the player in a different way at the end of chapter 1? do you think it would have improved the story to eliminate the possibility of confusion, or do u reckon toby fox want us confused? idk LMAO just thinking aloud atp. just been on my mind the past few days bc in retrospect, while the intro to deltarune is obviously trying to trick you into believing this is "undertale 2", post-dark-world the game is unambiguously super different, to the point where it feels a little bizarre that there'd be a red herring *after* deltarune already smashed the notion that it's a prequel or sequel into pieces doesnt it?

i think it's most legible to me as an attempt by Kris to psych us out that they sort of get lucky with thanks to toby helping them!

like, obviously they have no way to know you've been menaced by nonbinary children before - the specific parallels aren't a thing they're reaching for. but they're trying to get the player freaked out, and toby sort of lends them a helping hand by making them coincidentally charalike.

it's not the first time he's had a character freak us out with knowledge they don't have (thinking about sans and the talking flower in grillbys), and it's not the first time in Deltarune alone where a parallel is arguably sheer coincidence in world but happens to echo something to the player. i don't think it's like cheap or anything - toby fox does a really good job building up a language of associations and connections and motifs and then sometimes uses that to trick you just the tiniest bit lmao

but just like Chara, the ways to see thru the trick are there if you're looking. if you pay attention to Chara, you learn their oh so ominous faces and scares were originally just a thing they did to have fun with their brother, and maybe you get an appreciation that they were a child trying to scare you in childish ways. similarly, if you talk to everyone in town, you learn that Kris is a prankster by nature who delights in freaking everyone out (and also someone who would eat an entire midnight pie), and maybe you get the chance to go "oh, they're pranking me, huh?"

a little like Chara, Deltarune ch1 uses Kris to ask if you've been paying attention to the material. did you notice this really, really wasn't Undertale? and if you did, what conclusion do you reach about this new kid?

[eepyuii]

frostbite — pt. 10

pairing ; childe x gender neutral!reader

content ; childhood friends to “rivals” to lovers, slowburn-ish

cw ; none. idiots in love

notes ; ITS YEARNING HOURS BAYBEE ‼️ for the first time ever, a bit of childe’s POV, wowie zowie!! also a bit of a cheesy chapter LMFAO, it’s just these two dinguses “reaching” the realization that they want each other so bad, it makes them look stupid.

also a smidgen hint at the end towards the next phase of this dumpster fire of a fic >:3

ok and finally- i know i already made a post abt it but like. would u guys still love me if i posted a luke castellan fic? it’s SO self indulgent bc i’m brain rotting from the percy jackson show so idk yet :>

previous | next | masterlist

old wooden planks creak with each step childe takes.

he’d long lost the count of the days he’d spent in this peculiar inazuman domain— the mystic omnyou chamber, his companions called it. though what a fascinating domain it was, ever-changing and ever-puzzling but most of all, ever-deploying more enemies for him to fight his way through. he feels like only now he truly knows what teucer must’ve felt like in front of all those mr. cyclopses all those months ago.

he felt as though he was given a little too much breathing room by the motherland, still being stationed in liyue with you whoever knows how long his mission was finished, so it was no less than perfect to hear the news of scaramouche’s disappearance from inazuma after taking the gnosis for himself. as much as he disliked to have to leave you in northland bank with the promise of the two of returning together still at hand, he dully needed to take up on his responsibilities as one of her majesty’s harbingers.

still, he could fair by through the remembrance of you and his love for combat.

it’s amusing how freshly burned into his mind the memory of your time together at dottore’s lab was, even when he was half-conscious and at his physically weakest. how you soothed away his wounds with the cool breeze of your cryo powers, how you kept him company while he recovered, how you called him a pret-

“psst— you’re doing that thing again.”

“h-huh..?”

the harbinger is snapped from his daydreaming by paimon naggingly whispering to him. as childe finds himself back in reality, he registers the sight of the traveler, xinyan and shiki taishou walking ahead distractedly through the narrow dusty hallways of the domain, while paimon had fallen back alongside him.

“are you back now? ok good.” the travel guide snides, hands sassily placed at her hips.

childe chuckles sheepishly. “i-i’m sorry, paimon, but i’m not quite sure what you’re talking about.”

“oh, come on, it’s so obvious! the entire time we’ve been here, you’ve been doing this thing where you either doze off thinking about y/n! y’know as someone so passionate about fighting, you really need to get your head in the game right now.”

he feigns an offended scoff. “that is entirely untrue, comrade. my focus is solely on figuring out this domain’s mysteries and defeating its monsters.”

there’s a brief pause, where childe thoroughly reevaluates what paimon just said.

“wait, how did you know i was thinking about y/n? i-if i were dozing off and possibly thinking about them!”

she scoffs. “puh-lease, you’ve been babbling about them since we got here! almost everything you’ve said has somehow trailed off into y/n, so much so that even shiki taishou is caught up on what’s happened with you two!”

paimon was someone known to be a bit eccentric and overreactive at certain moments, but she also had her moments of being very bluntly honest in other situations. this was one of them. the harbinger deliberates for a moment, out of all the time he’s spent venturing this domain with the paper doll, just how much information had he unwillingly retained about you.

suddenly, a moment of clarity washes over childe and he vividly recalls all the moments during his venture in the domain where he’s talked about you. saying things such as ‘i wonder how y/n is doing right now…’, or ‘hah, y/n’s cryo attacks would demolish these enemies.’ or even ‘oh! that reminds of this one time, when y/n and i were kids…’. lest we mention the multiple times he’s said ‘i can’t wait to return to inazuma with y/n and show them this.’ whenever he’d been exploring the electro land’s scenic locations.

poor shiki taishou.

but then again, is it truly his fault that the mystic omnyou chamber had so many moments and details that were so clearly reminiscent of you? o-or maybe… maybe this was just a domain and everything reminded him of you regardless. but that’s the more unlikely possibility.

he curses scaramouche in his mind for a brief moment. it was all because he decided to go rogue that childe had to leave so abruptly— just when he’d made amends with you, just when the two of you were restoring your friendship. just when you’d started to flash him that devastating smile of yours again, instead of the standoffish snarl you’d presented during his mission in liyue. gods, he could feel his heart pang against his chest. surely it was just the adrenaline of battle, though. even if the group hadn’t faced enemies in more than ten minutes by now.

an even further tucked part of childe’s mind curses paimon next, for pointing out how much he speaks of you, because now he truly cannot stop. he looks ahead towards the end of the corridor and he can’t see what’s next, can’t see the next tatami matted arena where he’ll face a new wave of enemies, something he thinks he wants— no, all he sees is you.

it’s like your face is burned into his retinas, your fond laughter burned into brain and the warm feeling of when he slept against your shoulder burned into his skin.

childe doesn’t doesn’t fight as well as before in the next battle, he’s sloppy and distracted. after the arena is cleared, he’s left with a scratch across his bicep— which, thankfully, the domain grants a healing sigil to mend.

but it’ll never cure him like you do, never soothe the very core of his being like your powers do and it’ll never look at him the same way you did, caring and attentive.

he remembers how he felt lookup up at you then— like you were the stars in the night sky. he needed to get this mission over with as soon as possible.

—

you could almost hear your mother’s nagging tone telling you to not play with your food. as delicious as liyuean cuisine was, you’d lost your appetite halfway through your meal- as well as interest in the tale the restaurant’s storyteller was telling.

it’d been probably the dullest week you’ve had in a while, no new assignments from the motherland, no events happening in the city and… admittedly, no childe.

you can’t find the effort to lie to yourself and say it’s fine that he’s gone, that it’s for the tsaritsa’s noble cause— you don’t care about it. scaramouche could screw off with the gnosis and live his life, as far as you were concerned. in fact, you’d say he deserves it, given all he’s gone through with the doctor, even if he could be an astronomical asshole at times— well most of the times.

and now you can’t decide who to blame for childe’s absence, the balladeer or the tsaritsa. either way, it’s affected you more than you’d ever admit out loud. it’s been such a monotone week not just because of the distinct lack of anything to do in liyue lately, but also because of a distinct lack of… someone to worry about. yeah, that’s what it was, just an unusual sense of calm and nothing to stress over, that’s all—

“even in all my years, i’ve rarely seen someone stare at an unfinished bowl of dragon beard noodles with such intensity.”

a rumbling, baritone voice quips jokingly from across your small table and you’re startled away from your thoughts. looking up, the comment is revealed to come from mr. zhongli, the consultant from wanshe— oh, who were you kidding, the now former geo archon.

you hadn’t formerly spoken to him since the mission to take, well, his gnosis. after the situation with osial was diffusd, you beared witness to an unsettlingly diplomatic exchange between mr. zhongli and the fair lady, where he gave away the very culmination of his divinity like it was spare change. of course, you’ve spotted him countless times around the harbor— merely enjoy the little things the city had to offer. you can’t truly fault him for making the decision that he did, six thousand years is, unspokenly, too much time to not peruse the fruits of his labor from up close.

“a-ah, mr. zhongli! it’s been so long since we last spoke.” you scramble to politely greet zhongli and briefly wonder if you should stand up to bow to him, which he seems to notice.

“my apologies for startling you, doctor— may i?” he gestures to the seat in front of you and you nod.

“yes, it has been some time. i recall you being there for the completion of my contract with the fair lady, but the last time the two of us had the opportunity to meet casually was the very same night we first met.”

you nod curtly— you’re tense, you don’t know why. you know he’s not an archon anymore, you were there to see it, but perhaps the real weight of being in the presence of someone so powerful, not just an archon but the oldest of the original seven, seems to have only settled in now. you feel almost as choked as when in the presence of the tsaritsa, which you know all the same that you shouldn’t be. zhongli chuckles amusedly.

“i ask you to treat me as though you would’ve that night in liuli pavilion, like any other acquaintance. chatting with a mere consultant of a funeral parlor requires no formalities. now— have you been well, doctor?”

you can still only bring yourself to nod wordlessly in response, there’s no need for zhongli to know how royally miserable you’ve been lately.

“and.. may i ask why you held such a glare towards your meal? is it not your liking?”

“oh, no the noodles are just fine, amazing even! i was just… contemplating wether to finish it or not.”

great cover.

“hm,” zhongli hums with playful suspicion. “while a reasonable topic of contemplation, it did very much seem as though you were rather staring through the bowl, as though there is something on your mind. i would not mind hearing what is it that vexes you, doctor— if you’re comfortable to share, of course.”

yeah there was no fooling a, again, six thousand year old divine being with a half-assed excuse like yours. you sigh.

“well— yes, you caught me. the last few days have been, uh… less than peachy for me.”

“what exactly is it troubles you these days?”

“i wouldn’t say it’s trouble but, there hasn’t been much to do at northland bank lately. and childe has been out on a mission for some time now— b-but it’s mainly the lack of assignments!” you stammer.

“is that so? i did hear of childe’s sudden departure for inazuma but it is curious that you’re being kept stationed here with essentially nothing to do. but, if i may— has childe been absent for as long as you’ve felt dull at work or would you say there is no relation?”

already at so few words out of sheer nervousness, zhongli managed still to render you completely and utterly speechless. what are you even supposed to respond to this?

“i-i uhm, i… alright, i won’t even try.” you sigh in defeat and zhongli looks coyly pleased. he patiently awaits for you to gather your thoughts and actually say more than two stammered sentences.

“i truly can’t tell what it is. i feel like i’m supposed to be worrying for him— as if he’ll get injured again or injure someone else o-or even worse, do something stupid but there’s just.. nothing! it’s like i’m so used to being aware of his presence and now there’s nothing and it’s- it’s frustrating.”

“you miss him.”

you pause. do you miss him? no, it can’t be so simple— you have a medical degree, it is most certainly improbable that you’ve been trying your brain over just missing childe. well, sure it was great that the two of you were starting to make amends and stopped being so on-edge around each other but… there’s no objective reason for you to miss him.

right?

“i would not say i even near the level of an expert on matters concerning relationships between people, but i’ve seen a lot in my time. enough to tell you with confidence that it’s most likely you just.. miss him, doctor. and that it is okay to feel this way. the two of you do not stand at odds anymore, you never have— it is reasonable for you to be affected by his absence.”

you furrow your eyebrows. “how do you know if… childe and i stand at odds, mr. zhongli.”

“well, i have witnessed it. both directly and indirectly— the tension and misunderstanding between the two of you during our meeting at liuli pavilion was quite evident and i’ve heard of how you opposed him in battle at the golden house. but that is all it has ever been, misunderstandings and disagreements, but you’ve never truly disliked each other.”

“h-how do you know-“

“he speaks quite highly of you, doctor.”

“wh-what?”

“childe has only ever spoken highly of you— i recall mentioning that had been looking forward to meeting you in person during our dinner, it is all because of how grand his description of you was. plus, during our eventual meetups, you’re mentioned at least once every time. and you, as we’ve discussed, do seem to hold some care towards him, to the extent that you first concern is his health.”

your heart aches and you hate it. it’s a terrible, void sensation that frustrates you to no end. why? why did childe have to make it so difficult for you? why can’t you ever feel simple feelings when it came to him? why couldn’t you ever just feel one way towards him with no smaller part of your brain saying something else? even worse, why couldn’t your brain ever think about anything else— literally anything, instead of just constantly orbiting around the mixed emotions you felt when it came to childe?

you just constantly, restlessly and unendingly seem to care about him.

“you know what, mr. zhongli, i think y—“

“ah, there you are, sergeant!”

a less familiar voice calls out from behind you and you turn around with a bit of surprise— it’s a man clad in fatui uniform, who you recognize as mikhail, one of the officers stationed at northland bank. he’s not exactly someone you interact much with, just a mere coworker you greet every other morning, so you’re perplexed as to why he’s seeking you outside the bank.

“mikhail, what is the occasion?” you ask, briefly eyeing zhongli to find that he remains with a neutral expression awaiting the exchange.

“i am deeply sorry for interrupting your lunch, sergeant, but ekaterina urged for me to find you as soon as i could. a letter has come in from lord dottore for you specifically— she says it is of utmost importance.”

—

the wharf is unusually crowded today.

an untimely flux of either tourists or returning immigrant citizens, perhaps it is an important time of year in another nation— although, childe could truly care less at the moment. he’s doing his best to politely push his way through the sea of people leaving their respective ships while almost unconsciously seeking you out within it. he knows you wouldn’t be here, as his return to liyue was unannounced, but his eyes fly to latch onto your likeness anyway.

childe ends up finding you right in the center of the harbor’s main street, practically right below the catwalks that lead to the bank. you’re slowly pacing back and forth, a piece of paper clutched in your hands and a vacant expression on your face— childe can’t find himself to clutch to those details right now, he just needs to get to your side. he makes large, determined steps towards you, big grin invading his features, and while he’s still approaching you, you spot him and your eyes widen even more. once childe is a mere two steps away from you, he stops.

“y/n! oh, it’s so good to see you!” he heaves out gladly.

“ajax—“ you reply in a quiet voice and his heart swells at the use of his real name. he truly can’t contain himself anymore and tackles you into a tight hug, one so strong that stumble back a bit.

his arms snake tightly from under your arms to above your shoulders and his head lowers from being against your own to reaching your shoulder blade— it is as close as he physically get to you, while trying to be respectful of your space, of course. you’re still in shock for maybe five seconds of the hug, but eventually you just let yourself slowly wrap around him and squeeze ever so slightly. both of you have your eyes closed to sink into the moment.

the hug is long, maybe twenty seconds so, and as childe becomes satisfied with its duration and pulls away, he remains with his hands to your elbows in a gentle hold. he sighs with said satisfaction and beams towards you.

“i have so much to tell you about inazuma! unfortunately, i couldn’t find scaramouche there but i managed to see so many beautiful places, so many amazing experie- wait.. what’s wrong?”

the harbinger pauses mid sentence when he notices the numbness in your expression and his bright grin falls into a concerned frown— you feel like the most terrible person for making him lose such excitement. your mouth opens and closes as you find what to say, but you eventually whisper it out.

“ajax, i-i… i have to go to sumeru.”

taglist ; @kentply @osaemu @rain-and-a-nice-nap @koichirana

[zeephyre]

CRITICAL ROLE CAMPAIGN 3 EPISODE 85 SPOILERS

IM LITERALLY ABOUT TO LOSE MY MIND YALL

Where do I even ??? start ???

I haven't been posting c3 as the episodes dropped in...a while actually, like right before they went to the feywild. i have many thoughts and many feelings about so many things that have happened since then and I'll summarise them so I can get to THIS episode.

fearne and ashton - love their shard powers, they're literally royalty and terrifying, and i want them to make-out. i can't wait to see them go full primordial again in a real combat situation.

imogen - save her. literally save her. free her, even. i love everything about the call of ruidus when it comes to imogen on a narrative standpoint, but...God I get so worried that we're gonna lose her. I don't mean she's gonna betray the hells, but...ruidus could take her and then i would simply perish.

laudna - before i really get into wtf went down this episode with her and she who must not be named, i gotta say... im worried. very very worried. however, that fireball was objectively the best shit ever.

fcg - i can't even really remember anything stand out abt fcg except what Sam pulled last night so.

chetney - still the heart of the team, still my baby girl, still my favourite. love him to bits.

orym - i think laudna is going to beat his ass one of these days and im... even more concerned about that after this episode. his nana morri powers are cool as fuck tho... does that make him a warlock now? i know he isn't multi-classing but wouldn't that be cool

ANYWAY WE'RE ON THE FUCKING MOON AND WE GOT MOON LORE AND EVERYTHING WAS SHITTY THEN FUN THEN SHITTY THEN FUN AGAIN THEN REALLY FUCKING SAD THEN IT ALL WENT TO SHIT AGAIN.

the moment imogen reached out to ruidus and matt mentioned that she could sense where other ruidusborn were i fucking knew that otohan was high tailing it in their direction, and i thought they instinctively knew that too but they probably got so distracted.

we were travelling for hours and had a huge fight that almost got them captured (not to be confused with the OTHER two fights that almost got them captured) and I was begging and screaming and crying for them to get a long rest safely hidden away AND THEN THEY SPLIT THE PARTY WITH BARELY ANY SPELL SLOTS OR HIT POINTS AFTER BEING DRAINED FROM ANOTHER BATTLE WHAT IS WRONG WITH THEM

(Sidenote, the willmaster really opened up the door to the further increase in moral pondering in a certain number of hellians. i do think using the harness is disgusting and hypocritical, but i don't condemn them for it, it just...makes me wanna vomit thinking abt what ludinus did with it. not to mention the HUNGER parallels between laudna and ludinus...its just not good yall. also??? objectively funny that fcg seemed weirded out by the idea of killing the willmaster, not just with the harness but in general, considering how many people they've killed up to this point)

idk if its just the inherent terror that an evil old hot lady can inspire that makes otohan so much more terrifying to me than ludinus. like, objectively, ludinus is a worse threat and could wipe them out EASILY but jesus otohan is like the damn reaper to me. it's the trauma from the laudna, fearne, orym massacre mixed with the underlying little drop from their uthodurn romp that let us know that resurrection spells are NOT working and idk if that got fixed bc of time passing or distance from the leylines but i really did not want to test that shit out in real time

thank...god that sam riegel is a damn genius player, that banishment of fcg and fearne was the ONLY reason fcg survived. and thank GOD FOR KEYLETH BECAUSE WITHOUT THAT CLOUD SPELL BELLS HELLS WOULD BE VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY DEAD RN.

God, "otohan has us. run." is going to haunt me just as much, if not more than the almost tpk. it just...shot me straight back to bassuras and the plan to run that just...immediately fell apart.

god fcg truly could have died there. and fearne would be captured. i know the hells would be too stupid and too brave and too loyal to leave fearne with otohan in their cloud form but can you imagine a world where fcg was gone, fearne was captured and the hells had to switch from recon to rescue... itd be stressful but pretty fun.

thankfully it didn't come to that and some good came from the shit.

ruidus is so beautiful. i was worried they'd end being trapped under ruidus while they explored (not that I wasn't on board with the detours, I wish this wasn't a time sensitive mission), but matt's imagery of the fossilized elven structure and garden made me sad but also happy that we got to see it.

i cannot believe that the stupid plan to shove fearne up a water hole happened AGAIN and it ended up with us FINDING A BACK HOLE TO RUIDUS GOD I LOVE THESE CHUCKLEFUCKS WHEN IS THE NEXT EPISODE MATT YOU CANNOT DO THIS TO ME. WHERE EVEN ARE THEY??? IS IT EVEN EXANDRIA???? WHAT DO WE DO IF IT IS EXANDRIA??? WHERE DID THIS HOLE EVEN COME FROM???? DOES IT CLOSE AND REOPEN??? IS IT STAGNANT?????? IS IT FUCKING STABLE?!?!?!?!?!

God...we could go back to keyleth and the others and actually invade ruidus without encountering the ruby vanguard. (that's if they're alright because otohan did go out onto the battlefield and we don't know what fhe fuck she did when the illusion fell through)

GOD. IS IT THURSDAY YET??? WE HAVENT EVEN FOUND THE RESISTANCE????

[manic-pixie-aquarius]

Soooo I haven't been active on here but here's a snippet of a short story I started writing last month! Idk, lemme know if any of you find it interesting bc I'm thinking of refining it and then putting it on Ao3

It's mostly from Mike's POV but switches to Will's at one point too. Takes place in a theoretical post-s5 Snow Ball? And this is post Mileven breaking up so Mike is reaaaally deep in his pining over Will and the painting hasn't been fully addressed yet bc things just got back to normal and everyone's tryna have fun

Here:

I must look like a sulking idiot sitting here at this empty table while all my friends are having fun, but I can’t bring myself to enjoy the moment, there is still a lot on my mind and I can’t believe everyone is acting like nothing happened. Max and Lucas are dancing together again and after the song ends El comes back to dance with Dustin. 

I feel eyes on me. 

“Don’t feel like dancing?” Will asks me. 

I look up, startled that I didn’t hear him coming. I just nod no. He takes a seat next to me. 

“Me neither” he says with a scoff. 

I smile, maybe for the first time tonight.

“I’m honestly too tired after all that setting up” he continues. 

“It looks nice” I say, taking in my surroundings as if I haven’t done so already multiple times tonight. It does look neat. 

Will smiles.  

“So, what about you? Why are you here? Dustin and Lucas seem to be having fun over-” he looks back to where they were dancing earlier but now Dustin and El are dancing alongside Lucas and Max.  “oh” he says, then gives me a reassuring look, “sorry.” 

I shake my head, “it’s okay.” 

Some girl approaches us and we both look up. 

“Um, excuse me I was wondering if you’d like to dance” she says reaching a hand out flirtatiously towards Will. 

“Oh! Uh, sure” he says, and gets up, and they slow dance to a slow song. 

Hey, if we can solve any problem 

Then why do we lose so many tears? 

Oh and so you go again 

When the leading man appears 

I do another scan of the room and everyone is dancing, some couples kissing, probably for the first time. Jonathan is very reluctantly dancing along to the song because Nancy has forced him to. Ew, romance. I have to focus on something else. I look to the punch table and see Robin and Vickie talking, laughing. Everyone is having a good time, its honestly sickening. I can’t help but look back at Will and suddenly the lack of emotion I’ve been dealing with all day turns into a pit at the center of my stomach as We Belong by Pat Benatar plays. I have to go. I get up and rush through the crowd and push the double door to the gym maybe a little bit too aggressively because some couple on the other side of the door have these offended faces and the guy says, “what the heck?!” and he has bright pink lipstick marks on his face. But then he sees the tears in my eyes and decides to leave it alone. I walk towards the bathroom. 

“Why didn’t you do something?” his girlfriend squeaks. 

“Did you see his face? Probably got rejected. Babe, you know how I feel about that, you rejected me a year before I got these sick guns” he says and flexes. I roll my eyes and then as soon as I get into the men’s bathroom, I cross my arms on the sink and put my head down and start to cry, hoping nobody else is in here. I hear a toilet flush and someone walks out of the stall, great. At least it’ll be a stranger and not one of my friends. 

“Wheeler?” I hear in a familiar voice. Steve. I try to stabilize myself before lifting my head. I look up to him and he says “ohh, shit.” 

To Be Continued...LOL (I have a lot more written and the next part is my favorite because it's Steve giving Mike advice but...you'll have to wait)

[shakirawastaken]

dsmp if....it was taylor swift

i am the biggest swiftie dsmp blog here i am a swiftie i love taylor swift unless she sings new romantics at a show that im not at then i hate taylor swift

dream: paper rings by taylor swift (from Lover)  - i have written a one shot to dream for stay stay stay like a year ago. please read that too amen - i feel like this song lowkey fits him so well??? just like lowkey - cause like man is rich as fuck hes like a CEO and stuff  - BUT let me backtrack - you met him before he face revealed in the middle of the swamp in florida (orlando) - lets use my other post and say you met him in the grocery store SLAY - you “went home and tried to stalk him on the internet” - and obviously couldn’t find anything - but you reached out to him over text and he didnt answer you..bc he was like filming or smth and you were like bruh - but he eventually did answer you and you were like cool - you guys hung out ALOT  - as friends - to the mall as friends, to the cafe as friends, to the movies as friends - you even met his friends...and then you figured out he was Dream  - your relationship was like slaying at this point - you moved in with him! - and at this point now that you know Dream is Dream and is RICH - he showers you in gifts - expensive jewlery, trips to places, the mans love language is gift giving and he def has the $$$ to make that happen! - but one day he was like drunk or smth idk  - and he was like “wanna get married?” - and you were like “LOL sure” - and he, in his lovesick era, talked about the ring he would buy you in great detail - you were flattered ofc and laughed along - the next morning he woke up from his drunk era and was like “did you really mean it” - and you were like “yes!! i like shiny things, but i’d marry you with paper rings whenever you want dream” - and he was like “bet” - and he made paper rings and you drove to the courthouse and GOT MARRIED STOP IT THAT IS ADORABLE AND YOU HAD AN ACTUAL CEREMONY LATER CUTHE MF CAMERAS THAT IS IT THIS IS IT - I WANT TO WRITE THIS INTO A ONESHOT COMMENT “ceo of minecraft” IF YOU WANT IT - runner up song for dream was wonderland btw

george: gorgeous by taylor swift (from reputation) - now LISTEN i was gonna do London Boy - but im saving that for another thing - GORGEOUS FITS and its not just cause george is actually very pretty - this takes place in LA, george is here and you work here  - you also have a boyfriend - lets say you and some of your friends went out to a club one day - so did the dream team tm  - and you just came from a stressful day at work so you did what anyone would do and you drank - enough to get you a bit tipsy - and somehow all the stars and planets and fates aligned and you bumped into mr notfound - and you were like “sorry!!” - and he was like “oh its alright” but he said it british - and you were like “HAHAHAH YOURE BRITISH” and you mocked the way he talked  - you were tipsy alr - and he knows he should have been offended but he couldnt help but smile bc he thought u were cute - you two talk some more and you sober up through the conversation - its cliche but you forget everything else when u talked to him - including your very real boyfriend - and he shoots his shot “do you think i could have your number?” - your eyes shoot open wide and you just groan - “i got a boyfriend, he’s in the club and idk what he’s even doing.” and george is like “oh - but then you just keep going and youre like - “dude if you have a girlfriend im jealous of her” - and he laughed - “but if youre single thats honestly worse” - and he was like “how is that worse” - and you gathered all your confidence and was like “you’re so gorgeous it actually hurts” - and he smiled and said thank you - and you watched as his face moved to sadness - “i dont want to get in the way of your relationship, it was nice meeting you” he says as he walks away - DONT LET HIM WALK AWAY your mind yells at you - but you cant have him, bc youre taken - nothing you hate more than what you cant have - ding - why do all of these suck today guys im so sorry

OH SHIT I FORGOT I WAS GONNA DO STYLE WITH GEORGE UGHHH lmk if you want that

sapnap: you are in love by taylor swift (from 1989)  - you both start as best friends in this scenario - like best friends since high school middle school school  - you talked everyday , hung out everyday - it was natural that you would form a crush on the man - but then he moved to Florida - you totally understood why he did that - but the communication between the two of you died down - and so did your crush, it flickered out - but one day, he texted you - “hey! im coming back to texas for a couple weeks. are you down to hang out?” - and ofc you said yes - you two met up in a little diner, just to cach up  - and it was like you two had never seperated - you were joking around and laughing just like the old times - eventually you two were ordering coffee at midnight as he told you get in the car - he said “i have a surprise for you” - who were you to deny him? - so you got in the car and he sped off to the old dirt road or something where you used to go in high school - shoulders brushing as you two sit in the trunk, he tells you to look up at all the stars - but you looked at him instead, and all your feelings came crashing over you - all you could hear and think about while he drove you home, while you slept was that - “you are in love, true love” - god this SOng THIS SCENARIO - the weekend before he moves back to florida - you had spent the night over, wearing his old shirt as a pajama - burnt toast because he dont know how to work the toaster - you decide to make a move, to let go of your fears on how he’s gonna react - and you kiss him on the cheek - you two spend the whole day being a little more romantic than usual - holding hands, kisses on cheeks, etc - you spend the night over at his house again - then he wakes up in the middle of the night with this look of ?? on his face - you turn to look at him, staring him dead in the eyes - and he stares back, the moon reflecting onto his face - “you’re my bestfriend” he silently whispers, scanning your face for ANY reaction from you - and your heart starts rushing and your head starts beating and all you know is that he is in love with you. and you are in love with him.  - the night continues in a rush of kisses and rushed feelings - he of course had to go back to florida - but now he keeps a picture of the two of you in his wallet - and you see him in everything around you - you two facetime everynight and talk about everything with each other - because you are in love, true love - bonus: when sapnap gets home dream’s like “whats up with you” - and sapnap just shrugs and grins  - “spent some time w my best friend” - “IM NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND?” - dream LMFAOO - can you tell im in love with this SONG quackity (hits different from midnights (the till dawn edition)):  - I KNOW THIS SONG HAS A LOT OF DIFFERENT INTERPRETATIONS OKAY - im very aware of that its all i speculate and talk about - its like that one meme with the guy and the bulletin board and hes like “DO YOU SEE THIS” - but i interpret this song as someone singing to a person (bonus points if theyre a friend) they have a major crush on!!! except their crush is dating someone - and you can tell that the person they are dating aint it for them - its giving you belong with me - in this, you’re quackity’s neighbor - and you two have lived next to each other for a while  - to the point where you two have become kinda good friends! youd eat dinner together, have some movie nights, etc - you could say you know him pretty well - well ig you didnt know him as well as you think - one night you knock on his apartment door, looking for someone to hang out with whatever - ignore that you had a crush on him that you were actively suppressing - and his girlfriend answers the door all nice like “hi! how are you!” - and youre like “im good, are you?? who are you?” - and quack pulls up behind her and is like “OH meet my girlfriend!” - and youre like “oh! nice to meet you!” - then you shuffle back to apartment ASAP - suddenly it hit you that the person you had a crush on was unavaliable - and suddenly you felt the anguish that comes from him being in love with someone else - it made you wanna throw up - you call another friend up and meet up at a bar, ready to drink your sorrows away - and the bar you go to is playing the song you and quackity listened to everytime together - you groan and explain everything to your friend who’s just like “oh my! love is a lie, don’t worry - it happens to everyone” just to get you by - but you knew this wasn’t like any other time - youve been so willing to move on in the past - it hit different this time because it was him - you drink so much you start slurring his name and your thoughts are plagued by him - someone puts you into a car and sends you off to your apartment - you slump onto your bed, and fall into a restless fit - dreams of his hair, and his stare, and his sense of belief. of times you once believed he could love you.  - you dreamed of you melting his world like an argumentative, antithetical dream girl - the next morning, you hear a key turning in his door  - and you cant help hope but hes coming in to check on you - so you rush to open the door - he jumps and looks at you startled - “hey! my girlfriend and i heard you come in from the bar last night! must have been a wild night!” he chuckled, wishing you the best of health as he retreated into his apartment - you stare at the spot he was just standing out, letting out a big sigh as you groan, your hangover catching up with you - “catastrophic blues, moving on was easy for me to do. it hits different, it hits different cause its you”  - be glad i didnt pick “youre losing me” for this cause damn

karl (invisible string from folklore): - okay. i have already written a karl one shot. to holy ground by taylor swift. from red (taylors version) please go read after this. amen - okay - THIS OSNG THIS GOSNGS ITHSIGHSDJKFG - i cant get over the childhood best friends to lovers shit - but i dont think youre childhood besties - you just met when you were younger - its giving karl lives in a place where your family used to take you on vacation every summer - like to ur grandparents place or some white shit like that - every summer, you would go to the park, read and then go get fro yo at the shop near by - every year growing up, youd read stories of epic romances - and you couldnt help youd meet somebody there, sitting in that park - then, they year you were 16. you went into the fro yo shop. same as always - and there stood a 16 year old karl, in a teal shirt, asking you what you wanted to eat - there wasn’t anyone else in the store, so you two talked. and you two clicked instantly.  - you went back everyday for that year - and did the same every summer after that - until one summer, you told him that you were moving to LA. to pursue your career - and he finally gave you his number - when he finally got around to going to LA he called you up - and you two reconnected, just like the old times. ate at your favorite dinner spot and everything. you decide to try something more - so you date long distance - three years later, you two meet up at the old yogurt shop. and then got lunch down by the lakes - now, years later you two live together. in the same small town you vactioned in every year - you two walk the park you read at every day - karl owns the yogurt shop you two met at  - and you cant help but think that even through all the bad things that you had in  your life - the only good thing that was stringing along for most of your life was karl - karl made you less vengeful of the boys youve loved before - karl made you better. and you made him better - the both of you cant help thinking about the wonderous time, and how pretty it is to think about how “all along there was some invisible string” tying the two of you together - i feel like i coulda expanded here but i think its cute idk sorry guys

wilbur (begin again from red (taylor’s version)): - i think i got a different era for each person SCORE! - wilbur is sOOOO evermore and red coded - but not 22 or ikywt coded but all too well and the lucky one coded - you had recently gotten over a breakup and were ready to start dating again - and a friend of yours hooked you up with this guy from her office - who she said “does not do typical officer work” - you ready for anything, so you thanked her and took her offer - and now the date of your date is here, and you couldn’t help but be nervous - you critiqued and critized every small bit of you, just like your ex did - but now youve grown to love what you wear and what you look like - you blasted your favorite song that he seemed to hate as you walked out the door, as ready for this date as you could ever be - you walked to the cafe that you decided to meet up at, expecting wilbur to be late - imagine the soft surprise that took over you when he stood when he saw you, waving to you as he strode over to meet you halfway - “hi” you said breathlessly, surprised at the common decency he showed you - “hey” he said slyly, making small talk with you as he ushered you over to the table he saved - he pulled your seat out and everything, helping you take your coat off. he doesn’t know how nice that is - while you’re talking you tell some stupid joke, trying to ease your nerves - and when he throws his head back laughing like a little kid? youre done for.  - for the past 8 months you could only think about how love breaks and burns and ends - but on a wednesday, in a cafe. you watched it begin again - you cant help but smile back, agreeing to a second date - you meet up for a second date, this time in a record shop.  - you two talk about your shared love for music - and he’s like “ive never met anyone who as many los camp! records as i do” - and you were like “bet!” - turns out, you two have the same amount - you two walk around the city, exchanging stories about your lives when he suddenly teases you for being shyer than on your first date - you jsut blush and nudge him teasingly while rolling your eyes. and he laughs again.  - your ex never did that. he was never carefree, kind, and careless around you - but wilbur was. and your idea of love just grew and grew and grew - he walks you to his car, and the words about your ex are on the tip of your tongue. youre about to tell him about how different he is than your ex and how grateful you are for him - but then he cuts your thoughts off, launching into a story about him and tommy - and you find yourself wanting to talk about that instead - you can finally say what’s past is in the past - because on a wednesday, in a cafe, you watched it begin again.  i love taylor swift. i could do so many more of these. please tell me if you want

[forest-hashira]

Princess

idk if anyone else is interested in this but i'm posting it anyways bc transfem gojo has been eating me up for days now djfhgkdhf. hope you guys enjoy this either way!

also, just a note: i'm doing my absolute best to be respectful writing this bc i am not transfem so i have no lived experience in this. please keep that in mind when reading!

pairing: gojo/reader

wc: 1.8k

read it on ao3

warnings: gn reader, transfem!gojo, angst, fluff, idk if it counts as hurt/comfort but there's definitely comfort, nothing explicit but implied/referenced smut so,,, be aware

You couldn’t remember the last time you’d seen Satoru so nervous. He’d been fidgety as hell around you the last few days, jumping any time you would touch him, needing you to repeat almost anything you said to him, as if he hadn’t heard you the first time; he was so skittish it was concerning you. So when he texted you while he was at work one day, asking if you could talk when he got home, you instantly agreed. Even if it was bad news – even if he was breaking up with you – all you wanted to do was ease his mind. 

You got home a little bit later than he did, after deciding last minute to stop and get him some of the kikufuku he loved so much on your way home. 

“Toru?” you called out gently as you toed off your shoes in the genkan, carefully tucking them off to the side. 

“In here,” he replied from the living room. Though he tried to hide it, you could still hear the undercurrent of anxiety in his voice, and it broke your heart; whatever it was he wanted to talk about must have seriously been eating him. 

The first thing you noticed when you stepped into the living room was that he was still wearing his blindfold, something he almost never did when he was home. The sight caused a frown to tug at your lips, but you opted not to comment on it as you joined him on the couch, setting the bag of treats on the coffee table in front of you. “You said you wanted to talk,” you murmured, sitting sideways on the cushion to face him completely. “What’s going on?” 

He hesitated at your words, and he didn’t turn to face you, which wouldn’t necessarily have worried you on its own, but the slight bouncing of his leg did. “I don’t know,” he said eventually, voice uncharacteristically small. “I don’t… I don’t know what’s happening to me.”

His words caused your heart to stutter, then start pounding. “What do you mean? Did you get hurt?” The notion that something could possibly hurt the Gojo Satoru seemed utterly ludicrous, but you couldn’t think of anything else that would have him so shaken like this. 

He shook his head immediately at your question. “No, no, I’m not hurt. Not… not physically, at least.”

Not physically hurt. You mulled the words over for a moment, then frowned a bit deeper. “Did I say something?” you asked tentatively. “I’m sorry if I did. You know I’d never want to hurt you.”

“I know,” he assured you. “And you didn’t hurt me. It was something you said, but it didn’t hurt. I’m just… I’m just so confused.” The slight crack in his voice on the last word absolutely shattered you, and you reached out to take his hand. 

Satoru startled slightly at the contact, but he laced his fingers with yours right away, clearly wanting the contact. 

“What was it that I said that got you so confused?” you asked, tilting your head slightly as you looked at him. “Maybe I can help you figure it out.”

He hesitated again, biting his lip for a moment before he spoke. “Do you remember the other night? When you called me princess?”

You felt your face grow warm at the question; it was a difficult thing to forget. It had been a slip up – you weren’t entirely sure where the pet name had come from in the first place – but before you could apologize, he’d let out a practically pornographic moan before fucking you so hard he’d had to carry you to the bathroom afterwards, your legs too wobbly to support you. Based on his reaction, you’d assumed it hadn’t bothered him, but maybe you were wrong. 

“Yeah,” you agreed, somewhat sheepishly. “I remember.” After a beat, you added, “Did you not like it?”

“No, I really liked it, that’s what’s confusing me.”

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” you soothed. You weren’t even entirely sure if he was embarrassed, but you wanted to make sure he knew that either way. “I’d never judge you for something like that.”

“It wasn’t just that, though,” he said, and you could tell he was beginning to grow frustrated. “It’s all the times you tell me I’m pretty, too.”

You resisted the urge to cut in with a Because you are pretty; he was clearly struggling to articulate his feelings, and you didn’t want to interrupt him. 

“Even when you say you love how soft I am with you, it feels good. I like when you call me those things, but I feel like I shouldn’t. I’m Gojo Satoru, the strongest sorcerer to ever live. A man above everyone else.” He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head almost to himself. “I’m not supposed to be those things, to want those things.”

Something seemed to click in your mind then, with the way he practically spat the word “man” when describing himself, with such derision and disgust, as if it were the root of all his problems. 

“Toru,” you said gently, squeezing his hand to get his attention. He still didn’t change his position, but you could feel the weight of his gaze on you. “Are you saying you don’t want to be a man?”

The white haired sorcerer jerked as if you’d struck him, but he gripped your hand tighter, as if it were the only thing keeping him tethered to his sanity. 

When he didn’t answer, you pushed yourself up onto your knees, shuffling closer until you could cradle his cheek in your palm. The way he immediately leaned into your touch had a lump forming in your throat, and you stroked your thumb lightly across his cheekbone a few times as you collected yourself. 

“Can I take this off, baby?” you asked, the tip of your thumb slipping under his blindfold ever so slightly. You wouldn’t remove it if he denied the request, but you really would prefer to be able to look him in the eye for the rest of the conversation. 

There was a moment of pause, so fleeting you wouldn’t have caught it if you weren’t so in tune with your partner, before he nodded. 

You offered him a small smile then, carefully removing your hand from his, using both of your hands to push the fabric up and off his head, setting it on the coffee table before turning back to him. Your touch was gentle as you cradled his face once again, just taking a moment to admire his eyes, so pure blue and sparkling it was like looking into a pool of water, framed perfectly by his thick white lashes. Even the way his frosty hair fell into his eyes was perfect to you. 

“You’re staring,” he said quietly, and you could tell he was doing his best not to squirm under your attention. 

“Just admiring how beautiful you are,” you murmured. Normally, you would have thought using a more feminine compliment would be a gamble, but you were feeling more confident about it now. With the way a blush instantly filled his cheeks, you knew you were right. 

“Men aren’t supposed to be beautiful,” he protested weakly, though you could tell his heart wasn’t really in it. 

“Well, are you a man?” You stared into his eyes as you spoke, the question completely genuine. Your thumbs continued to stroke his cheekbones as you sat there, patiently awaiting his response. 

Satoru’s eyes filled with tears then, and he almost seemed to choke on them as he answered. “It’s all I’ve ever been allowed to be,” he whispered, his eyes fluttering shut, causing a few tears to roll down his cheeks. He sounded so defeated, so broken it filled you with rage, but you shoved it down; right now Satoru needed your love, not your anger. 

“You’re allowed to be anything you want with me, baby,” you murmured. “You’re allowed to be yourself. The real you.”

The words seemed to break something inside of Satoru then, sobs bursting out of him as he wrapped his arms around you, hugging you tightly to himself. 

You wrapped your arms gently around his head and neck as he buried his face in your chest, soaking your shirt with tears. As much as it hurt you to see him in such a state, you didn’t push him, didn’t try to urge him to stop crying. Instead, you pressed your lips to the top of his head, running your nails lightly along his undercut. 

It was several minutes before his sobs calmed down to quieter cries, and another several before those calmed down into soft sniffling. “What if…” his voice cracked as he began to speak, and he cleared his throat before trying again. “What if the real me isn’t the man you fell in love with?”

The fear in his voice was almost tangible, and it was emphasized by the way he kept his face hidden in your chest, refusing to meet your gaze as he spoke. 

“Oh, love,” you murmured, shifting just enough to brush his bangs from his face and place a gentle kiss on his forehead. “I fell in love with you, your heart and your soul, not your body. I could never stop loving the real you.”

Satoru lifted his head then, eyes watery and hopeful as they locked with yours. “Even… even if the real me isn’t a man at all?”

“Even then,” you promised, offering him a gentle smile. “Man, woman, both, neither, something in between, it doesn’t matter to me, Toru. I just love you.”

The tension bled from Satoru’s body almost instantly at your words, and the sorcerer smiled a bit bashfully up at you. “I think I’d like to be your girlfriend now, if that’s alright.”

Your smile brightened as you gazed down at her, and you nodded easily. “That’s more than alright, my love. I’d love to have you as my girlfriend.”

She perked up even more at the assurance. “Can I be your princess, too?”

“Anything you want. Anything for my gorgeous, perfect princess.”

A laugh burst out of her then, and the sound made your heart soar. You didn’t dream of protesting as her hands trailed up from your waist to cradle your head the same way you cradled hers, and you melted into her kiss, eyes slipping closed at the contact. They stayed closed as her lips parted from yours, only to begin showering your face with kisses, the touch so light and fluttery it caused you to giggle. 

“Baby, that tickles!” you protested, but you made no move to push her away. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Satoru murmured, not sounding very sorry at all as she finally relented, grinning at you when you opened your eyes to look at her again. “Just love you so much. Can’t help but kiss you.”

“I love you too, Toru,” you replied, voice hushed and reverent as you kissed her once again. “Always will.”

i'm already writing more for her so there will be more to follow this!!! once again this is super self indulgent & i'm not sorry!!!

dividers by @/cafekitsune

[jubiilee13]

hi babes I saw you begging for requests for mike schmidt so I decided to send my own request to you… as cliche as it is, could you write an angsty misunderstanding fic where basically mike is over-working himself to death and barely making time for you and you think you did something wrong but it turns out mike was just tired af. It can be smut or fluff since I don’t know what you really like to write. Sorry if this request is bad I’m not good at asking for things😭😭

-anon

anon ily ty for the request 😻😻

this may be a lil bad bc I’m sick rn but I hope u still enjoy 🫶

warnings: tiny mention of blood, angst, angy mike, sad reader, alludes to a little smut at the end but yeah

lets just say for this abby is at a um... sleepover or smth idk i forgot to include her

didnt check this for grammatical errors so my bad if it sucks lmao

—

you and mike didn’t fight often

i mean you never really had reason to

but lately mike had been weird, he had been… distant.

mike often had his rough days, as did you, but this time was different.

every morning when he returned home instead of his usual warm embraces, you’d been receiving the cold shoulder, at most a few sentences spoken between the two of you before he dragged himself off to bed.

you were worried to say the least, you knew you had done nothing wrong, yet something in your gut made you wonder if you did.

so you decided today was the day you were going to talk to him about it.

boy was that a bad idea...

the moment mike stepped out of his bedroom he spotted you, anxiously fidgeting as your eyes met his own

"we need to talk mike" you mumble, clearly not looking forward to having this conversation.

mike rolls his eyes, "what y/n" he replies, attitude evident in his tone, yet the attitude is weak, and you note his face is just a bit paler than usual, the bags under his eyes more evident, something was off.

"whats been going on with us mike?" you ask, voice trembling "did... did i do something? you- you've been so distant..."

"its nothing y/n, stop worrying" he says with a scoff, and you bite your lip.

"mike you dont have to lie to me" you say softly, extending your hand out to him to soothe him.

Then something inside him snaps, that movement- that feeling. he couldnt take it.

"God damn it y/n i said nothing is wrong! you never listen! just leave me alone! you clearly only make things worse!" he cries out, and your body freezes.

"o-oh" is all you can say, retracting your trembling hand, clearly in shock

"o-okay um... um i-i'll leave you be..." you mumble under your breath, trying to hide your emotions until you were out of his sight.

you scurry away, biting your lip so hard it draws blood, and the moment you enter your bedroom the tears escape.

you shut the door behind you, leaning against it and sliding to your knees, hand reaching to cover your mouth to hide the sobs.

what had you done?

did you upset him?

is he gonna leave?

so many questions flooded your mind all at once

it was so overwhelming, all you wanted was him... but right now that was the one thing you couldnt have.

so you sat there, leaning against the door of your room for god knows how long.

eventually when no more tears could fall, you lead yourself to your bed, a bed that had been untouched for a few months now due to you always sleeping with mike, and after a few more shaky breaths, you slipped into a uneasy slumber.

As you slept, mike took himself for a drive, his hands gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles faded to white.

he was angry

he was tired

he just wanted to be home

it slowly started to dawn on him that upon his arrival home earlier, his anger had been misdirected.

he wasnt mad at you

he loved you

god- you just wanted to help

why couldnt he see that?

he lets out a shaky sigh, punching his steering wheel as he lets out a few grunts of anger (much to the dismay of the car infront of him)

he decides to leave you be for the time being, and he leads him self on down the winding road, until he comes across an empty parking lot.

he lets himself settle there for a while, staring into the dark abyss in front of him.

eventually he decides to call you, and when you dont pick up... he calls again.

and again.

and... again....

and 12 more times.

he was worried to say the least, what if you left him? what. if you didnt love him anymore?

after the final call he places his phone in his pocket, running a hand through his hair as he starts up the car again and heads home.

in the meantime you were at home, tossing and turning, unable to find a true sense of saftey in your own sheets and god was it horrible.

you didnt notice the buzzing of your phone, nor the vibration any time left another voicemaiil.

so you lay on your back, your teary eyes staring up at the ceiling.

thats when you heard the front door open, the jingling of mikes house keys alongside his work ones

maybe he didnt leave

did he come back for you?

maybe he-

your thoughts are interrupted however by a gentle, almost silent knock at your door. you want to open it, you really do, but you're scared.

for once you put aside your fear and you sit up, quietly tiptoeing over to the door and cracking it open just enough to meet mikes eyes.

both of your teary eyes meet one another, and something snaps within both of you

your grip on the handle goes slack as mike gently pushes further on the door, and the moment it opens enough for him to enter, youre surrounded by him

he kisses you gently, his hands wrapping around you, and you two hold the kiss until you eventually pull away to gasp for air

"im so sorry- i never meant to snap at you baby- i-i- im just so exhausted- work is so hard- i-i never meant to take it out on you- i love you so muc y/n- i"

you cut him off by kissing him again, this kiss growing more heated, your body pressing against his

"its ok" you whisper when you pull away, your foreheads resting against one another

"we'll be ok" you whisper

those 3 words are repeated for the rest of the night, along with other words of praise and affirmation.

the two of you love each other, and tonight it shows.

just as youre about to fall into a warm, peaceful sleep, mike presses a kiss against your damp forehead.

"i love you"

that was all you needed to hear in order to slip into slumber in his embrace.

--

yayayayya mike

i hope that was good

ok ily

bye pookster

[genshin-hsr-rambles]

omg I just stumbled upon this account with perfect timing bc I had this wild dream last night and I need to share it with someone. It was like a fusion of HSR and genshin impact but like in a modern au kinda. And it revolved around Ratio, Aventurine, Alhaitham and Kaveh (with the obvious ships ofc bc even in sleep I’m a diehard shipper lol) but like Aventurine was the mc of sorts of the dream yknow like I wasnt seeing from his perspective or anything but it kinda focused on him. It’s so OOC that I was confused as well but it’s chaotic good.

but anyway so the dream started in what I assume was Ratio and Aventurine’s bedroom bc they were in bed and it was night n shit. for some dumb reason that I don’t remember there was a map of Florida on the wall (they weren’t in america or anything) and Aventurine was convinced that Ratio couldn’t fall asleep without looking at the map even though there was literally no reason to think that and it wasn’t even Ratio’s idea to have the map in the first place. This scene was wildly irrelevant and is only rly mentioned like once later and I find it hilariously out of pocket.

cue the next day where Aventurine and Ratio are invited over to Alhaitham’s house (and kaveh’s but they wouldnt stop calling it alhaithams) for a meal, dinner I think even though it was literally daytime? But yeah they were invited over and so they pulled up and for some reason in my mind the house looked weirdly like my house irl ig dreams are like that. Idk rly where Ratio and Kaveh go off to for a moment but they do go off somewhere whilst Aventurine climbs into alhaitham’s car.

Should probably mention Alhaitham was already in the car so the two kinda just chat for a while and Alhaitham is pretty much like “hey can you not do something stupid or be an asshole for just this one day this is important to me” and Aventurine wasn’t offended by this at all bc apparently Alhaitham was genuinely his friend?? (I was expecting Kaveh and Aventurine but my dream said no) but Aventurine is a bit confused why having dinner with him and ratio is a big deal bc it’s just like having friends over tf. So Alhaitham reaches around to the back seats of the car and pulls out this big stack of books which seems random at first but Aventurine checks all of their front covers and discovers they all say Veritas Ratio on them. Alhaitham explains that he is fascinated by Ratio’s work and was looking forwards to talking abt it so if Aventurine could behave that would be great.

Aventurine doesn’t get to reply or anything tho bc Ratio and Kaveh come along and knocks on the car window to tell them that dinner is ready (looking back on it, I think Ratio might’ve been helping Kaveh cook which is a crime that I didn’t get to see it). When I tell you I have never seen anyone move as fast as Aventurine and Alhaitham did in my life I mean they were FAST bc neither of them wanted to be caught dead by Ratio himself with those books so they just kinda shoved the books into the back seat again (blackout windows I assume?) and got out of the car.

cue the dinner which actually looked really tasty but Aventurine can’t keep his mouth shut despite what Alhaitham said and neither can Kaveh. Kaveh won’t stop complaining abt all the things Alhaitham hasn’t done bc apparently it was his turn to cook and Aventurine for some reason is determined to ruin Alhaitham’s admiration for Ratio and proceeds to bring up the Florida map thing (again, entirely irrelevant). In a moment that must be why he didn’t get into the Genius Society, Ratio decides the only way to get out of this god forsaken dinner is to literally climb out a window… Yeah. Aventurine, Kaveh and Alhaitham are all equally confused.

After much confusion Aventurine decides to excuse himself and follow after Ratio. For some reason the two of them end out in Alhaitham’s car??? And Aventurine shows Ratio THE books and they talk and it was actually surprisingly sweet n wholesome. By this time its actually getting dark tho so they go back into the house eventually to say goodbye and go their seperate ways. When Aventurine and Ratio get home the Florida map isn’ there, then I promptly woke up and was like wtf.

Very long ask and there isn’t even a question either but I had to tell someone. thank you SO MUCH

Lmao this has made my day. I wish I dreamt about HSR and Genshin Impact, that’d be so fun. This has serious crackfic potential lmao.

But you’re right, the whole Florida map thing is so out of pocket. Why do they have a map of Florida? Why did Aventurine choose to hang up a map of Florida in the bedroom? And better yet, why does he think Dr Ratio can’t fall asleep until he sees the map? This is the kind of thing only dream logic can explain. Dream logic also likes to make fictional places look like places you know in real life.

The idea of Kaveh and Alhaitham inviting Dr Ratio and Aventurine over for dinner is actually quite nice. Definitely didn’t expect Alhaitham and Aventurine to be friends, nor will I ever get over Alhaitham straight up telling Aventurine “yo can you like not be a dick for once”. Also Alhaitham having books on Dr Ratio’s studies weirdly makes sense. I too am salty that you didn’t get to witness Kaveh and Dr Ratio cooking. Missed opportunity.

After everything that’s been happening in Penacony, I think Aventurine deserves to be chaotic and determined to ruin Alhaitham’s view of Dr Ratio. Though Dr Ratio straight up climbing out the window— anon, you’re entirely right about the Genius Society. Their sweet moment makes up for all the chaos though (even if Dr Ratio would definitely still be a little pissed Aventurine was spreading misinformation about him).

And to end it all off, the Florida map is just… gone? What, did someone take it down? Or was it never there to begin with? Maybe the real haikaveh/ratiorine was the Florida maps we met along the way.

Thank you for this masterpiece.

[moonferry]

EVERYONE STAY CALM, STAY F**KING CALM!!1 fsioy chapter 20 is HERE.

hoooly shit. i finally finished it after. *checks watch* three months.. thank you guys so much for sticking with me bc . this one is the LONGEST chapter ive ever written. its a DOOZY. nothing i say can prepare you for it.. so i'll simply say what i have told my two closest friends (aka my little lab rats / snippet readers ) chapter 20 is going to make everything WORSE. this one is a bit confusing at parts, but whenever its surrounded by "..." its a flash forward to the 'current day' (aka ch 19). this covers things in chapters 11-15. get ready for plot twist galore. please don't throw rocks at my head. im sensitive.

warnings: i think it would be a better question to ask what ISNT a warning.. anyway, they include: death, mentions of previous death, black mail, manipulation, physical violence, the commander himself, swearing. umm i think that's all ? idk ill update this later if i find any more.

word count: 19,141

other chapters: chapter masterlist

ao3 link: here

Kent looked at Willy, a small guilty look crossing his features. His expression soured as the lies burned his throat. He desperately needed a distraction, so he thought back to their earlier conversation. 

“You know,” He started, turning to face Willy as his line once again bobbed against the pristine water. Kent pursed his lips together and took a deep breath. He took a moment to gather his thoughts (all while trying to swallow his guilt) and then added, “You said you were going to explain what happened.” 

“Ah,” Willy spoke, nodding his head solemnly. He looked at Kent, his expression unreadable. A small sigh slipped past his lips. Willy debated with himself: would Kent be able to handle the truth of Willy’s departure? The older man wasn’t quite sure. Though, a small voice in the back of his mind urged him to tell it. He spoke once more, almost reluctant, “Do ya really want to hear that story? I’m sure it’s not that excitin’.. I mean, it happened fifteen years ago, lad.” 

“Willy, I have thought about that day more times than I care to admit,” Kent replied, giving a small nod to signal he did want to hear the story. He looked at the man, his expression forming into one of slight anger. Kent continued, “You practically disappeared off the face of the Earth. I was worried about you. I reached out so, so many times and.. Nothing. Not even a letter.” 

“Eh?” Willy asked, confusion washing over his face. He added, “Ye sent me letters?” 

Kent scoffed and crossed his arms, his eyebrows knitting together in frustration. He spoke once more, “You left when I needed you most, Willy.” Kent paused briefly, watching the older man as he gave an acknowledging nod. He continued, “I think I deserve to know why.” 

“Well, I guess yer right about that..” Willy admitted, though he was still reeling with confusion.  As far as he knew, no attempt had been made to contact him. He just assumed Kent was angry at him for leaving. But, hearing Kent mention it, and noting the frustration in his voice, it made Willy reconsider. 

“Alright,” He started, nodding in Kent’s direction. He spoke once again, “Let me tell ya the story. It all began the day yer friend died.” 

“My friend..?” Kent asked. His brows knit together as he tried to determine who Willy was talking about. His face contorted in concentration as he tried to remember - a name, a face, something, anything. However, in the crevices of his mind, all he found was a faint, blurry blob of memories that all seemed to mesh together. 

“Aye, the first one.” 

“Right..”

“..Daniel? Sawyer? Ring any bells to ye?” 

“Um,” Kent started, though his face contorted once again. It seemed vaguely familiar, but he couldn’t quite place it. Though, his mind remained foggy and indecipherable. That name was important to him - it had to be - but he couldn’t remember who he was or what he looked like. It caused a small, uncertain pang in Kent’s chest. Eventually, he replied “Sure.” 

Willy looked at him, and raised a small eyebrow - worried that Kent seemed unsure of himself. He shook his head, momentarily brushing it off and continuing his story. 

JULY 19XX | XX YEARS AGO | THE DAY OF DANNY’S DEATH

After Willy had comforted Kent, he was called into a nearby meeting room. Apparently, the commander had a special job for him. He entered the room tentatively and approached the desk. 

Inside the room, he saw a sleek wooden desk - a deep, rich mahogany coloring. On it lay several papers - all scattered and disorganized from the early morning preparations. Willy had attended that meeting, too. There, he learned that the Gotoro soldiers seemed to be getting bolder - some even going far enough to take over a nearby town. Willy knew that, whatever this meeting held, it wouldn’t be good news. 

He continued looking around the room - allowing himself a moment to gather his thoughts as he looked around the interior. It was quite nice and contrasted drastically to the rest of the camp. It made Willy wonder where the commander got the funds for his office and why the commander was so obsessed with making it look neat. Willy was sure that there wasn’t a single spec of dust that would dream of settling on anything in this pristine room. It made him feel uneasy. 

He picked up one of the papers from the desk. His curiosity had gotten the better of him and he needed to understand why this room felt so.. Different. While Willy was inspecting the room, the sound of footsteps seemed to grow louder. Willy gulped, his posture instantly going rigid. His grip tightened on the paper and he slipped it behind his back. He looked up and gave an acknowledging nod to whoever entered. 

Luckily, it wasn’t the commander himself - just an assistant who came to notify Willy that the commander would be with him in a moment, as he was currently in a meeting, which was taking place down the hall. A small sigh of relief slipped past Willy’s lips and he felt himself relax after the petite woman turned and exited the room.

He retrieved the paper from behind his back and brought it close to him. Willy’s eyes scanned the page and he felt his heart sink. His mouth laid agape as he realized what he was reading. 

It was an early draft of a partially coded letter - written in the commander's neat scrawl. As Willy read the small excerpt, he couldn’t believe his eyes. It read “Early phases of Plan A are in motion. The three boys selected will prove useful, though it appears a small hiccup has interrupted our progress. Namely, one of the boys has been reported dead. Apparently, he startled one of our surveymen, who had gotten too close to the camp and alerted one of the other soldiers. Proceed to the next phase, though exercise caution-” The letter stops there. A horrified gasp left Willy’s lips and the paper slipped from his hands. 

As this happened, a shadow approached before looming over him. It was followed by a snarky, monotone voice that sent a chill down Willy’s spine. 

“Well, what do we have here?” The shadow spoke, disdain filling his voice. The commander approached Willy, his lips forming into a small, disapproving line. He stopped once he reached Willy’s right side and shook his head. The man - the commander, Willy knew who he was - spoke once more, “I expected better, William.” 

“You know how I feel about snooping,” He purred, his voice gravelly and harsh. A faint snarl slipped past his lips. The commander looked Willy up at down, his eyes appearing bored - as if he expected this. Disappointment filled the man’s voice as he spoke once more. “Though, I suppose I should’ve expected this from your kind.”

“Eh?” Willy asked, taken aback by the commander’s comment. His eyebrows furrowed and he spoke once more, “What do ya mean by ‘yer kind’?” 

“Oh, you know,” The commander began. He propped himself against the desk, crossing his arms over his chest. He looked down at Willy, his expression almost a perfect sneer. “A bumpkin from the valley who wants nothing more than to prove himself. I’ve seen it all before.” 

“What are ye implyin’?” Willy protested, anger rising in his voice. 

“Don’t you understand, Colonel?,” The commander spoke. He looked at Willy as if he were some insect - as if he couldn’t possibly fathom what he was trying to say. He slowed his speech as he continued, intending to insult Willy further, “Those who feel the need to prove themselves die the fastest.”

The commander watched as Willy’s jaw tightened. He saw the briefest flash of rage light up behind Willy’s eyes and continued, “Well, not the fastest, I suppose. That goes to the ones with the biggest hearts. The ones plagued by mercy and a need to save everyone.” 

“Like that Neilson idiot. It sickened me how caring he was. He wanted to save everyone and got far too close to a certain… truth, let’s say.” The commander spoke, intently watching Willy’s reaction - as if the things he was saying were intended to push his buttons. To see how far he’d let himself be dragged before he retaliated. 

“What..?” Willy spoke, clenching his jaw tighter. 

“You know, William, about that friend you had? He was too stupid to realize what he was uncovering. He didn’t know the importance of what he had witnessed.” He paused briefly, turning to look at Willy as a small, wicked smirk formed on his lips. The commander continued, “Christopher Neilson had to be stopped - for the safety of everyone and everything I’ve worked for.  I’m sure you understand.”

“What in the blue blazes are ye talkin’ about?” Willy asked, nearly erupting with anger. His fist clenched at his side and he felt his nails digging crescents into his palm. 

Willy’s eyes narrowed as he listened to the commander’s words. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Had Chris’ death - which had been ruled as an unfortunate accident - been less of an accident and more…premeditated? No.. the commander wouldn’t do somethin’ like that. Willy thought to himself. He looked up at the man beside him, suspicion washing over him at the man’s nonchalance. Would he? 

Willy gulped and decided to press further, “What.. what did you mean ‘had to be stopped’?” He watched the commander intently, his stomach souring as the man simply replied with a small, almost giddy smirk. Seeing that expression, Willy felt something inside him stir: an emotion. One he hadn’t allowed himself to feel in a long time. Willy felt anger. He lunged forward, gripping the commander’s collar in his hands and lifting him off the ground. Willy gritted his teeth, a mixture of disbelief and fear coating his features. He spoke, “What did ye do? What the hell did ya do?!” 

“Only what I had to, Colonel,” The commander replied, the same smirk still plastered across his face. He glanced down at Willy’s hands and scoffed. “Now, now, William. No need for violence. We can discuss this civilly, I’m sure.” 

“Yeah, like how ya talked with Chris?” Willy responded, his grip tightening and his knuckles turning white from the force of his grip. His upper lip contorted in a small snarl, his mustache following suit. He looked at the commander and shook his head before adding, “I don’t want yer brand of ‘civility’. ‘Cause - next thing I know - I’ll end up at the bottom of a lake.” 

“Oh no,” The commander reassured. He looked at Willy, his face stoic and unreadable as ever, before speaking once more, “You’re far too valuable -  at this point, anyway. I need you for this to work properly. I didn’t need him. Sergeant Neilson was expendable - replaceable, even. You are not. The boys.. They trust you.”

Willy spoke once more, his voice rising, “Leave Chrissy’s name out of yer damn mouth. Ye didn’t know a single thing about him.” His eyes shone and it was almost as if small fires had ignited behind his pupils. His face turned red-hot and Willy clenched his fists around the rough fabric of the commander’s collar. He wanted nothing more to let his anger take over him - to get some miserable form of justice, to repay the harm done to him, but Willy knew he wouldn’t do that. He wasn’t that type of man, after all. Not to mention it wouldn’t “fix” anything - Chris would still be gone. Against his better judgment, Willy felt his grip loosen and he dropped the commander back onto his heels. 

“See, that wasn’t so hard, was it?” The commander chirped, reaching a hand up to smooth out his now crumbled uniform. He returned to his previous position - casually leaning himself against the edge of his desk. He clasped his hands over his lap and looked at Willy expectantly. He spoke once more, “I’m glad you’re starting to see this my way.” 

“Ah..” Willy spoke, intending to protest. However, something the commander said had piqued his curiosity. The commander had mentioned “the boys” - while that was quite mysterious, Willy couldn’t shake a feeling about it’s importance. He could use this to pry for more information. Maybe he’d even get a deeper insight into the letter fragment he’d found earlier. 

Willy pursed his lips together, swallowing his pride, and continued, “Right. Of course I see it your way, Commander. Say.. ye mentioned that ye ‘need me’ but never mentioned for what.. I want to help ya. Anything for the Commander, right?” 

The lies and flattery felt vile on Willy’s lips, but he needed to do this. He needed to find out what was happening. The commander moved to respond - momentarily closing his eyes in thought. While he did this, Willy extended his hand and grabbed a small tape recorder that was placed precariously on the edge of the commander’s desk. He pressed the record button - letting out an expectant cough to cover the small “click”. Once it was clear it was recording, Willy placed the recorder behind his back. 

“Right,” The commander replied with a small sigh. He opened his eyes and looked at Willy - though if he suspected something was amiss, the commander didn’t let on. He continued, “I suppose I should tell you. At least what your part will be, in any case..” 

Willy remained silent, though he gave a confirmatory node towards the commander. He didn’t want his voice tainting the recording. It was risky enough as it was, but any mention of him or the sound of his voice would only incriminate himself. 

“So, initially, a group of three boys were selected for.. Ah.. a larger project. I won’t say much about that right now, but you appear to be the closest person to these boys. I have been monitoring them and their progress for months now - ever since the third boy arrived, you see.” 

“Initially, I had planned for all three of them to be moved to the next phase, but it seems I forgot to account for incompetence. Needless to say, one of them went and got himself killed mere hours ago. While it would’ve worked better with all three, I have decided to press on regardless. Your task, however, is to bring the remaining two to the next stage.” The commander explained, his voice sounding quite bored - as if he had discussed this many times over. 

He spoke once more, “You will be responsible for the transportation of these two boys: Kent Neilson and Vincent Leegland. They’re in your unit, so you shouldn’t have too much trouble.” Willy’s eyes widened at the names, though he continued to remain silent. He raised an eyebrow. The commander responded with a small, dismissive wave and continued, “Don’t concern yourself with why. Your task is simply this: bring these two boys into active combat - tomorrow. I have… something quite special planned, I will admit.” 

 Willy gulped, a small wave of panic and disbelief crashing over him. He fought to keep himself composed - smoothing over his expression to prevent the commander from seeing his distrust. What on Yoba’s green Earth is he thinkin’? Willy wondered to himself. Those boys.. They aren’t ready for that - especially not after what happened today. He turned back towards the commander and gave an obedient nod. 

“Oh, and before I forget,” The commander started once more, turning to Willy and his expression full of disgust - as if whatever he was about to say next caused him displeasure. He continued, “Make sure they stay separated. I can’t stand all this.. ‘comradery’. But, if they ask for a reason - you will tell them it’s because their emotions may cause them to be…unstable. Is that understood?” 

Ye have got to be kiddin’ me, Willy thought to himself. Separate them? Oh Sweet Yoba, he’s askin’ fer trouble. Willy gritted his teeth - though his outward expression still remained relatively calm. Against his better judgment, he nodded once more.

The commander pushed himself into a standing position. He then approached the door and began exiting. However, he turned around midway and called out to Willy. 

“One more thing,” He began. The commander pointed towards a map on the wall. He continued, “Take that with you when you leave. You’ll need it to get where you’re headed. That area.. It’s Gotoro central. Wouldn’t want anyone to get lost over there, hm? I know that… neither of those boys have the best sense of direction - especially not my son.” 

Willy watched as the commander then turned and left his office. After ensuring he was actually gone, Willy carefully slipped the tape recorder from his back and hit the “stop” button. He then slipped it into his pocket. Just in time, too, as his emotions seemed to catch up with him. He felt faint. Willy propped himself against the desk and allowed his practiced poise to drop completely. 

He didn’t know much about the commander - especially not his personal life - but learning that, apparently, he had a son was quite jarring. Willy didn’t even know the man’s full name (he had been told to refer to him as only “the commander”) but now he knew that the man had a son, whom he was willingly sending into an area infested with Gotoro soldiers? Willy couldn’t believe it. It was vile - cruel, even. Just who was this guy? And why was he so casual about all of this? Willy wasn’t sure. He was sure of one thing, however: he intended to find out. 

Willy took a small breath - debating with himself. Was he really about to snoop through the commander's belongings again? Yes. Yes he was. He mumbled a small apology - mostly to ease his own conscience - and began rifling through the various papers (mostly letters and notes) sprawled out on the desk. Finding nothing of importance, he then began opening each drawer and carefully peering inside each one. Eventually, Willy stumbled upon a locked drawer. That struck him as particularly weird - as none of the other drawers had been locked (it didn’t even look like any attempt was made to do so, anyway). The locked drawer likely contained something crucial. Willy needed to find out. He looked around for some sort of key. There had to be one somewhere, right? Willy just needed to find it.

 He scanned around the room, his eyes eventually landing on a giant oil painted portrait of the commander. He slowly approached it. As he got closer, Willy noticed that something about the painting seemed off. He couldn’t quite place what it was until he was a few inches away from the painting. It appeared as if the painting was placed onto hinges - likely to conceal a hidden compartment. It was also slightly ajar (as if whoever had closed it last did so very hastily and hadn’t ensured it was fully closed). Willy’s hand hovered over the corner of the painting. He slowly inched it closer - carefully touching it. It instantly swung open and revealed a small, hollowed cupboard. It was mostly barren - save for a few cobwebs - but Willy noticed a small object that had been hastily plopped on the front of the shelf. It was a key. Willy could guess what it went to, so he carefully scooped it into his palm. 

Returning back to the locked drawer, key safely tucked in his hand, Willy was filled with a curious determination. He took a deep breath. He wasn’t sure what he’d find - or if it would even be useful - and he had likely just committed several crimes in search of this information. He simply hoped it would be worth it (and that he wouldn’t get caught). Willy composed himself and carefully inserted the key into the lock. He turned it towards the left - listening as the pins of the lock clicked into place before unlocking with a faint pop. Willy extended a shaky hand and slowly opened the drawer. 

Inside it was a small, upside down name placard - along with a piece of paper with a photograph paperclipped to the front. Willy carefully picked up both items. He first inspected the piece of paper. It appeared to be the standard sign up form given to new recruits, however it was filled out in a large and blocky scrawl - as if the person writing it had been left handed. Not too unusual, Willy supposed. Plenty of the recruits were left handed. He took a closer look, examining the name and photograph attached. 

Upon seeing who it was, Willy nearly jumped in surprise. It appeared the form belonged to none other than Lee. Willy was extremely confused. Why would the commander have this? Willy thought to himself, An’ why would he lock it away? What’s so important about that lad that he doesn’t want anyone else knowin’? 

Willy pushed the thought to the side momentarily. He still had more to inspect. He carefully turned the nameplate in his hands and read its inscription. It belonged to the commander - that much was evident, given the large “Commander” written in bold, fierce letters. However, that wasn’t all that was written. Underneath it, in much smaller text, was a name.

Willy squinted, trying his best to decipher the cursive lettering. Eventually he was able to read the name. It read Vincent Leegland. Willy gasped, dropping the nameplate in surprise. It tumbled onto the floor with a loud clatter. He silently swore to himself - hoping no one was around to hear the clamor.

“Yer jokin’,” Willy mumbled to himself, disbelief and panic coating his words. He felt dizzy - the wave of information seemed to make his head spin. He looked back at the paper. Willy’s face drained of all color. How hadn’t he noticed the connection before? The boy looked quite similar to the commander - save for the gingerness of Lee’s hair and the faint vitiligo that littered his features - and even shared his name. Of course he would be the commander’s son. Willy felt like a fool, despite the fact that there was no way he could’ve known. 

 His mind finally began clicking the pieces together: the commander’s coldness, his apathy towards the loss of innocent lives, the disdain in his voice whenever the commander spoke of those who wanted to be “helpful”, the influx of Gotoro soldiers as of late, and the apparent Gotoro grunt who had “gotten too close” to the campsite. Willy couldn’t believe it: the commander was a double agent. And he was now after Kent and Lee. Willy couldn’t let anything happen to those boys - they had slowly become the closest thing he would consider to his own children. 

“I have ta warn those lads,” Willy gasped, fear covering his face.He gripped his chest tightly, trying his best to calm his now rapid breathing. It would do him no good to panic and shut down, not when he had to protect Kent and Lee. He gulped and carefully placed the paper and name placard back into the drawer and locked it. He scurried around the room and attempted to set everything back to its original state - desperately trying to make it seem as if nothing had changed since the commander had left. Willy had debated taking some of the information he found, but decided against it. He didn’t want to risk taking anything (except for the tape recorder). It was better if the commander began to trust him, he decided. That way he could slowly squeeze more information out of him. It would all prove useful later - or at least he hoped it would. 

Willy began exiting the room - stopping to grab the map as the commander had suggested - and headed off to find the boys. While he did find them, it was - unfortunately - at Danny’s funeral. Not an ideal place to warn someone. Willy grimaced and stuck to the side - watching the crowd and trying to find the right moment to intervene and pull Kent and Lee aside. Fortunately, it seemed Lee had decided on that moment for him. Willy watched as the boy approached the podium - yelling about how the announcer didn’t know Danny at all. Willy understood his sentiments, as the announcer was droning on and on about someone he didn’t recognize. He hadn’t even realized it was supposed to be about Danny - that’s how awful it was. Willy watched as the announcer began arguing with Lee - causing the boy to erupt in an outburst. 

“My name is not Vincent,” Lee spoke, angry tears streaming down his face, “It’s Lee.” 

Willy decided that this was probably a good time to step in. He approached the general and placed a firm hand on his shoulder. After a short exchange - and a few choice words - the general scampered away, looking like a dog with his tail between his legs. 

He approached Kent and Lee, who were now surrounding the microphone - yelling any positive thing about Danny they could think of. It caused a small pang to appear in Willy’s chest. To think that, none of this would’ve happened if Willy had figured out the Commander’s plan earlier. To think that all three of the boys would be safe - that they’d be alright.

Willy wasn’t sure how to fix the damage that had already been done, but he was sure of this: Danny’s death would be the last. He couldn’t let either of the remaining boys get hurt. He couldn’t lose another cadet. No, he wouldn’t lose another cadet. 

He placed a caring hand on each of their shoulders and gave a small, though mostly humorless chuckle, “Well, that was certainly a ceremony, eh, lads?”

…

“Anyway, ya know how the rest of that day went, so I’ll spare ya by not repeating it, eh?” Willy explained, turning to look at a clearly baffled Kent.

“What?” Kent started, his mouth agape. What he had just heard filled his mind with thoughts as he desperately tried to make connections. He looked at Willy, his eyes wide, and spoke once more, “What happened next?” 

“I’m gettin’ to that part, son,” Willy replied, rolling his eyes. He pointed to a nearby bucket of bait, motioning for Kent to grab it. He added, “Hand me those worms, lad. Darn fishes took me last piece of bait like it was nothin’!” 

“I have so many questions,” Kent spoke, though he handed the bucket of slimy, wriggling worms towards Willy. He watched as the older man went silent, intently baiting his hook.

“Yeah, yeah, I know ya do,” Willy replied with a small grumble. He pointed towards Kent’s own rod and narrowed his eyes before adding, “Ye can fish an’ talk at the same time, Kent.” 

Kent’s brows furrowed together in frustration, though he grabbed his own rod and baited the hook. He decided he’d humor Willy - and, besides, Willy had said he would only tell Kent the story if he fished. A small sigh slipped past his lips, though he watched the bobbers of his and Willy’s rods once again land with a small splash.

“So, as I was sayin’, Vincent Sr.. He had this convoluted plan-” Willy began, eager to continue his story

“Wait, do you think he-” Kent interrupted

“Kent, I am gettin’ to that part, son,” Willy replied, shaking his head.

“Anyway, he has this plan-” Willy tried again. 

“It just doesn’t make any sense,” Kent interrupted once more. He turned to Willy, his face contorting in deep thought. 

An exasperated sigh slipped past Willy’s lips. He reached a hand up and pinched the bridge of his nose. He turned back to Kent and asked, “Do ya want to hear the story or not?” 

Kent nodded. He desperately needed to understand why Willy hadn’t reached out over the past fifteen or so years. 

“Then quit interruptin’ me, lad!” Willy scolded, though there was no malice in his voice - just slight frustration. Kent pursed his lips together and nodded, mumbling out a small “sorry”. 

Willy waved his hand dismissively and continued speaking, “Anyway, as I was tryin’ to say….” 

…

After Willy delivered the unfortunate news that Kent and Lee would be moving to active combat, he then - with guidance and constant checking from the Commander - drove the boys towards the new location. A desolate, remote camp in the middle of nowhere. 

Great, Willy grumbled to himself, This is just great. Take ‘em to a place where they won’t be missed if somethin’ happens to them.. It made him sick - the Commander’s plan, the fact he had to go along with it, the fact that he had to lie to both Kent and Lee in hopes it would keep them safe. All of it made him sick. 

It didn’t help that, in the back of the transportation vehicle, Kent and Lee were audibly distraught. Willy briefly glanced up at the rear-view mirror, pulled from his thoughts by a rather raucous racket from the boys. They appeared to be arguing. Willy understood - they had just lost a close friend (though Willy knew one boy thought of Danny as more than a “close friend”. He’d witnessed it too many times before to ignore Lee’s behavior. He also knew first hand the heartbreak that came with it - the heartbreak of losing someone who you could imagine a life with.)  Unfortunately, knowing how he felt and being able to comfort him were two different things. Willy sighed and tore his eyes away from the mirror. He hated that the boys were arguing, but there wasn’t much he could do about that. He knew that they’d resolve their little spat eventually - he just had to trust they would do the right thing. He just had to trust he was doing the right thing. 

The weight on Willy’s chest seemed to grow as the vehicle approached the entrance to the new camp. It didn’t help that he knew what was coming next: he would be forced to separate the boys, all by the commander’s orders. He pursed his lips together and went to gather Kent and Lee - both of whom were now complaining about some sort of “head injury”. 

Willy playfully rolled his eyes and spoke, “Ah, quit yer whinin’, lads.” He slowly approached the back of the vehicle before motioning for them to follow him. Willy added, “Looks like we’re here. Let’s go get ya settled in. Quickly.” 

The three of them walked towards the nearby housing units as Willy checked his map, along with the notes he was given from the commander. These boys were to be separated - no exceptions. They would not be allowed to speak to each other, much less look. Willy hated that command so, so much. It made his stomach churn. His discontent only seemed to grow as they approached Lee’s dwelling. Willy glanced back at the boys - both looking quite solemn and hardly talking. He desperately missed the lively chatter that usually resounded from the walls of Cabin Five. 

Willy hated seeing them like this. He hated how Kent and Lee seemed to have lost their usual boisterous energy. He had never seen Lee look so upset - hell, he hadn’t even seen the boy do anything but smile. But now? An uncomfortably neutral expression remained plastered across Lee’s features. Willy mentally tsked. It didn’t suit him. Unfortunately, Willy was about to make the situation worse.

They finally reached the building where Lee would be staying. Willy gulped, a wave of discomfort wrapping around him like a thick, uncomfortable blanket. He took a deep breath before motioning for Lee to enter the building. That was the easy part. The difficult part, however, remained. As if in tune with Willy’s thoughts, Kent attempted to follow Lee into the building. 

Willy placed a firm hand on his shoulder, shaking his head before speaking, “Not you, lad.” A sigh slipped past his lips and a look of regret washed over his face as the next words left his lips, “Just Private Leegland.” 

Kent looked at him, confused, and Willy felt his chest tighten once more. He hated that expression. He hated that he had to be the bearer of this news, too. He knew what was coming next, of course, but that didn’t make it any easier to hear. 

“What?” Kent asked, a mixture of confusion and disbelief crossing his features, “Why?” 

Willy grimaced, an uncomfortable expression forming on his lips. He felt as if he had just swallowed a frog - his throat felt slick and slimy. It felt wrong. He hated to do this, but it was the commander’s orders, after all. He sucked air between his teeth before gritting them, debating how to best break the news. 

Willy hesitated before speaking, “The.. er.. The Commander decided it would be best if you two were separated. At least for a while.” 

“What?” Kent asked, his voice rising in disbelief. He protested, his brows furrowing together in discontent, “That’s not fair!” 

Willy’s thoughts exactly. This was absolutely not fair and was most definitely not a good idea, but Willy found himself in a situation without much of a choice. He felt defeated - caught between his own morality and the need for information. Going along with the commander’s plan was probably the worst decision he had ever made, but Willy was in too deep to turn back now. 

He sighed and pursed his lips, trying his best to hide his own discontent - the same discontent that lined his eyes and splattered across the wrinkles and scars. He had seen far too much in his thirty something years of life - it starts to wear down on you, eventually. Willy simply hoped he’d get out before it reached that point. He turned to Kent, his lips forming a straight line, and replied, “This is war, son. Nothing is fair.” 

Willy then explained (or attempted to) explain how it wasn’t his decision and that it was nothing against them. He sincerely hoped the boys would understand and wouldn’t portray him as the bad guy. 

 Willy glanced between the two and frowned before letting out a defeated sigh. He tried to explain even further, “Look, lads, I'm not heartless. If I could do anythin’, I would, but it's out of me control.” 

They looked at him with a hurt expression. Willy responded with a simple shake of his head, dismissing any protests they might have made. It truly broke his heart to do this, but he could only hope it was for the best. He had to hope that, going along with the commander’s plan, everything would turn out fine. He had to hope that they’d be alright. He had to hope. He had to. For their sake.  

It made Willy angry just thinking about the cold, uncaring look on the commander's face as he issued the order. How could someone be so cruel? Those boys just lost someone close to them and this is what they get? Willy thought to himself. It didn't sit right with him. Not one single bit. If anything, he believed they should stick together - for emotional support. Regardless of what he thought, it wasn’t Willy’s decision to make. He had to go along with the commander’s plan or none of them stood a chance at making it out of there. He wanted to keep them safe. No, he needed to keep them safe. 

He watched as Lee and Kent said their goodbyes and felt sadness on their behalf. Willy wished he could make them explain - he wished he could spill the commander’s plan and convince them both to run - but he couldn’t. He was just as much of a pawn as they were, only he didn’t realize it yet. He pushed his thoughts from his mind and guided Kent towards his own dwelling. 

“Ah, this is yer place, Kent,” Willy explained, motioning towards the door. He watched as Kent scrutinized the building. As he was waiting on Kent to enter, his communication device that he had received from the Commander beeped and vibrated. Willy would have to meet up and discuss the journey over, he knew that, but it didn’t make him enjoy the idea any more. He sighed and pulled it out from his pocket - reading a small encrypted message. It was written in the standard code - just as a safety precaution - but Willy was able to easily decipher it. 

He squinted at the small screen, and mentally translated the message. It read: “Leave the boy. Come to my tent. We will discuss further upon your arrival.” Willy sighed before pocketing the device once more. He turned to Kent, who was still debating entering his new dwelling.

“Well, lad,” Willy started, nodding in Kent’s direction. He looked around - trying to determine if anyone nearby was watching. He saw a faint shadow around the corner and pursed his lips. So the Commander had sent people to watch him. Willy suspected as much, but it was still jarring to receive confirmation. He placed a hand on Kent’s shoulder before speaking once more, “I have some.. Ah.. Errands, let’s say. I’ll see ya later. Try to get yerself settled in, eh?” 

And with that, Willy left Kent’s side and headed in what he hoped was the right direction. The Commander had been especially vague regarding the location of his tent, which made things more difficult. It didn’t help that Willy had to force himself not to stare towards his left - he didn’t want the spy to figure out he was aware of their presence. 

After a few moments of trudging through the woods, Willy came across a secluded tent - one that he assumed belonged to the Commander, with how secretive the man was Willy wouldn’t be surprised. He looked around, ensuring he hadn’t been followed (well, followed more than he was already) and pulled open the flap before quickly entering. 

It took his eyes a moment to adjust to the dimly lit interior, but once it did, he saw the man himself standing in the corner of the room. He was wearing a neatly pressed uniform, adorned with various sashes and medals, the sign of a commanding officer. The sign of power. It made Willy irrevocably angry. The Commander had his hands clasped behind his back and was facing away from Willy. Despite this, he was acutely aware of his arrival. 

“Good,” He called over his shoulder, his voice seeming less than enthusiastic, as if it was permanently monotone. Willy wasn’t sure he had ever heard an emotion in the man’s voice - or that he had seen one other than boredom on his face, for that matter. The Commander spoke once again, “You’re finally here. It took you long enough.” 

“Sorry ‘bout that-” Willy began, though he was quickly interrupted. 

The Commander held up his hand, halting Willy’s speech. He spoke instead, “Cease your blabbering, William. I neither care nor have the time to hear it.” 

Willy was taken aback, his mouth slightly agape at the sudden bored, almost passive-aggressive hostility in the Commander’s words. He moved to protest, but he didn’t want to risk upsetting the Commander further. He remained silent.

“Well?” The Commander urged, finally turning to face Willy. His expression looked bored as always - as if he had much better things to be doing than talking to Willy. The Commander spoke again, “Are you going to debrief me or not, Colonel? Unlike you, I have important things to do.” Ouch. 

“Ah.. right,” Willy replied, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. He cleared his throat before beginning his debrief, “Well, I did as ya said. I packed up the lads and brought them here. I showed Lee-” 

“Who?” The commander interrupted, looking at Willy suspiciously. He hadn’t authorized anyone named “Lee” to handle any of this information.

“Um.. Private Vincent Leegland, sir,” Willy explained, his voice slightly quiet. Of course he wouldn’t know that nickname. As far as Willy was concerned, he didn’t know a single thing about Lee - despite the fact that the boy was his son. He continued, “It’s just.. Err.. a nickname, I suppose.” Though, as he mentioned Lee’s full name, he carefully watched the commander - searching his face for the smallest hint. It was brief, but Willy swore he was the Commander’s eye twitch. 

“We don’t do nicknames here, Colonel,” The Commander scolded. His lip curled into a faint sneer and he added, “We do not even do names. Names make people weak. It humanizes them. From here on, you will refer to them as “A” and “B”, is that understood?” 

“Ah. well, Commander..”

“Is that understood, Colonel?” He repeated, narrowing his eyes at Willy.

Willy gulped, though he nodded and spoke, “Understood, sir. No names.” 

The Commander barely acknowledged Willy’s words. Instead, he motioned for him to continue his debrief.

“Well, as I was sayin’, I brought them here - like ya asked. I made sure they were separated, like ye asked.” Willy summarized, leaving out several parts. The Commander didn’t need to know everything, did he? 

“Right,” The Commander replied with a small nod. Willy waited, raising a small eyebrow. The Commander looked at him, his bored expression returning. He spoke once more, “I suppose you’re expecting praise? Well, congratulations, you didn’t fail me. Yet.” 

Willy’s eyes widened. What did he mean by that? Had the commander expected him to fail? Willy wasn’t sure what to think about that comment. Before he could think deeper about it, the Commander began speaking once again. 

“In any case, now that you’re here, it’s time to complete the move to the next phase. Since you have proven yourself… adequate, I will explain in more detail.” 

“My…ah, let’s say, my colleagues, are searching for something in particular. Well, someone, I should say. A woman. Her name is Misha Grieves,” The Commander began. He perched himself on the edge of his makeshift desk. He turned to Willy, checking to see if he was listening, before continuing, “There have been reports that she is staying in the remains of the nearby town. I don’t know all the specifics - not that I’d tell you if I did, anyway - but I know that she is important..”

“You, along with A and B and whatever other troops you need to use, will be tasked with searching for her. We must find her first. I have it on good authority that she has information.. Information that would give me a certain.. Leverage, let’s say.” 

Willy raised an eyebrow skeptically. What information could the Commander possibly be after? And…why was he willing to use troops to get it? Whatever it was, Willy wasn’t sure he wanted to find out.. He gulped, though he remained silent. He anxiously waited for the Commander to continue. 

“The information she has is not important to you, Colonel,” The Commander warned, his eyes darting towards Willy in a way that said “don’t even ask.” Willy nodded and felt himself shrink as the Commander’s eyes bore into him. Upon hearing that, Willy decided that it, in fact, was important to him. He just hoped he encountered this woman before either of the boys - Willy needed to talk to her, to discover what the Commander was hiding. 

The Commander ignored Willy’s silence and continued explaining the next phase, “When - yes, when, there will be no ‘if’ - you find her, you will notify me immediately. Do not stop before you reach me - I will not accept any excuses. You will be when the clock hits twenty-two hundred hours, exactly.. Do not get distracted, Colonel.” He briefly paused, allowing Willy to nod once more, before continuing, “Tomorrow, take them into whatever remains of that dump and find her. You have approximately 36 hours. Do not fail me.” 

After the Commander finished his spiel, Willy left the tent - shaken and head bursting with more questions than answers. Could the Commander really expect him to do this? And, to make things worse, what would happen if Willy failed? He wasn’t sure he wanted to find out. However, it would seem that the universe, with its sick and twisted sense of humor, didn’t care what Willy wanted. It didn’t care what anyone wanted, for that matter, or none of this would’ve happened, Willy decided. He decided something else, too. No matter what happened, he was going to teach the boys to protect themselves. Willy worried that, somehow, he wouldn’t be there to protect them. 

…

The next day, Willy set off. His palms were coated in a thick, grimey sweat.He had spent the last night worrying intently about the request, the boys’ safety, and what would happen when he had to confront the Commander. He wasn’t sure if he had slept (or, if he did, the quality of it), but there was no time to worry about that. He had to prepare Kent and Lee. And he knew just the way. 

Some time later, he managed to arrange a set of four or five targets near a small weapon shed (if you could call it a shed, that was. It was more of a…dilapidated wooden box, stocked haphazardly with training-grade weapons, which Willy found…concerning). He took a step back and surveyed his work, a hand resting on his chin in contemplation. The whole thing looked rather shoddy and hastily put together, but it would have to do. Willy had no other choice - a jarring, yet recurring concept that seemed to haunt everything he did these days. With the construction done, all he needed was Kent and Lee. He set off to find them, along with other troops to avoid suspicion. 

“Eh.. this shouldn’t be t’ hard,” Willy mused to himself, pursing his lips together as he surveyed the grounds. The boys should be training right now, he reasoned. The first person he found was Lee, who appeared to be sitting silently by himself - a few feet away from where his fellow cadets were doing an obstacle course. 

He carefully approached Lee before resting a caring hand on his shoulder. Lee looked up, surprised by the sudden touch, and immediately morphed his solemn expression into a grim, somewhat pained smile. Willy’s lips formed a thin line.

“Ya don’t have to pretend around me, lad,” Willy spoke, kneeling down so that he was eye level with Lee. He gave Lee a firm pat before speaking again, “I know how ya feel, son. Don’t tire yerself out tryin’ to put on a brave face for everyone. It’s not worth it.” 

Lee opened his mouth to protest, but simply sighed instead. He didn’t have the energy to argue or to explain that he was fine. The last few days had been taking a toll on him. He looked at Willy and let his cheerful expression fall. Lee knit his brows together and asked, “How do you always do that?”

“Eh?” Willy asked, confused, “Do what, lad?”

“Know what I’m thinking,” Lee explained, his jaw tightening as a flash of frustration covered his features, “It.. it’s weird, man. I mean.. The only people who could do that so easily were my Oma and Dan-” Lee quickly cut himself off. Saying his name, thinking about him.. It all hurt too much to bear. 

“Ah.. I see,” Willy nodded, his own sigh slipping past his lips. He looked at Lee, his expression concerned and understanding. He spoke once more, “Ya miss him, don’t you?” 

Lee went silent. “Missing him” felt like such an understatement.

Lee felt as if, when Danny died, a large, gaping hole appeared in his chest. It ached with an intense yearning - one that could never be satisfied. Not anymore, anyway. He felt that Danny didn’t die alone that day. Lee felt like the loss of Danny had tore away at his soul - at his very core. In truth, he didn’t know who he was without Danny. After all, Danny had made Lee well…Lee. He felt completely and utterly lost, but he wouldn’t say this outloud. He didn’t know how Willy would respond. 

Instead, Lee simply sighed and brought his knees to his chest. He replied, though his voice was barely a whisper, “Yeah. Yeah.. I do..” 

“I know how that is, lad,” Willy replied, nodding once again. He looked off in the distance, surveying the horizon and catching the faintest glimpse of the city’s tallest building. Willy felt a familiar emotion bubble in his chest, one he thought was long buried. One he thought had died with Chris. One he had tried too hard to kill, to silence, to ignore. Looking at Lee, seeing him in this state, it reminded him of himself all those years ago. For once, Willy didn’t suppress the emotion. He let it bubble beneath the surface, slowly rising and threatening to overtake his lungs. He let himself think about events he had long tried to forget. He let himself think about Chris. 

“I know yer probably wonderin’, ‘what is this man yappin’ about’, but just trust me, son,” Willy began, turning to look at Lee,  his expression filling with the utmost empathy. He continued, “I have been in yer place before. I know what it’s like to lose someone who ya love.” 

Lee closed his eyes. He listened intently to Willy’s words, letting them wash over him. Something about the tone he used made Lee believe that, if anyone would understand, it would be Willy. 

He opened his eyes and gave a small nod. He paused for a moment before saying, “I just.. What I felt for Danny - what I still feel for him..  It isn't like anything I’ve ever experienced before, Willy.” Lee paused, trying his best to gather his thoughts. He glanced down at the necklace around his neck, the one containing Danny’s dog tag. Lee frowned and wrapped his hand around it. He let his thumb trail over the letters. He continued, “I don’t fully understand it, but I think I’m in love with him. I.. I just wish I could’ve told him to his face. Not.. you know… to his corpse.” 

“Well, at least ya told ‘em, eh, lad?” Willy asked, trying to cheer him up. Seeing that it wasn’t working, Willy added, “The same can’t be said fer me, son. I didn’t tell.. Ehh.. this friend o’ mine how I felt, even after he died. I couldn’t bring meself to, I suppose. I regret that - every single day.” 

“I guess,” Lee began. His expression dropped slightly and he gripped the tag tighter, feeling the cool metal press firmly against the grooves on his palm. He opened his mouth to speak once more and a small, barely contained sob bubbled in his throat. Lee pushed it back down and added, “I keep thinking about what Kent said to me - how.. How he told me it was my fault. In a way, I guess it was. Every night, I lay awake and I think to myself - would things be different if I hadn’t reacted that way? If I hadn’t run away like a coward? If I realized what I felt sooner? If he didn’t have to chase after me.. If he didn’t have to worry about me at all..”

“Lee..” 

“No matter how I look at it, I can’t seem to figure out why he went after me that day,” Lee continued, his voice now brimming with emotion as he rambled. “I’m not something to chase after, Willy. I feel like, no matter what I do or wherever I go, a cloud of bad luck follows me and hurts the people I care about. I don’t want to hurt people..” His voice broke as he said this last line, a small tear welling up in the corner of his eye. Lee sniffled. 

“Son, yer not gonna hurt people, ye hear me?” Willy reassured, giving Lee’s shoulder a gentle, yet firm (almost fatherly) squeeze. He looked at Lee, and thought about how the boy before him looked almost like a scared animal, huddling in on himself and shivering while trying to be brave. It was a much different visual from his father - a cold blooded, hungry wolf waiting to gobble up any prey that crosses his path. Willy couldn’t fathom how on earth they could ever be related - that was something that confused him to no end. He spoke once more, “Ye aren’t like that, I know it. You aren’t like him..” Willy’s voice trailed off as he said this last part, leaving the last word barely audible. 

“Huh?” Lee asked, tilting his head in confusion, “Like who?”

“Ah,” Willy replied, pursing his lips into a thin line. Of course Lee would pick up on that. Willy mentally scolded himself. He shook his head, waving a dismissive hand and added, “No one. Don’t worry about it, lad.” 

“Oh-kaay..” Lee responded, his voice laced with skepticism. However, it was clear he wouldn’t get any more information on the subject, so he dropped it. 

“Anyway.. I.. ah..” Willy started, exhaling a rather large breath. He clasped his hands together - a look of reluctance crossing his features. He spoke again, “I hate to say this, son.. But I need you to do something difficult, okay?”

“What’s that..?” 

“Self defense training,” He spoke, emotion void from his voice. He watched as Lee’s features paled and a look of worry crept over the boy’s features. Willy continued, “With a weapon.” 

“Willy-” Lee began, his eyes wide with fear. He tried to protest. 

“I know, son,” Willy replied with a small sigh, “I know.” 

“Then why-” 

“Because I have to. Because, if I don’t, something will happen - I have a strange feelin’. Because we all have to do difficult things, son. Because we have a mission later an’ I want ya to be prepared.. Because I care about ya. Lots of reasons, Lee.” 

“An’ before ya waste yer breath protestin’, I think ye will thank me - in the long run,” Willy explained, watching Lee’s jaw clamp shut. Willy sighed once more before adding, “Besides, Kent is comin’, too, so.. Ya won’t be alone, alright?” 

After speaking these words, Willy watched as Lee went silent in consideration. 

“Just.. think about it, lad,” Willy spoke once more, pushing himself into a standing position. He took a deep breath and glanced back towards the makeshift arena. He spoke over his shoulder, yet he didn’t turn back in Lee’s direction, “I have t’ go find Kent. Head over there, would ya?” 

Willy did not wait for Lee’s answer. He simply pointed towards the targets and walked away. 

…

“Anyway, ya pretty much know what happens the rest of that day,” Willy explained, motioning to the still present - yet slightly faded - scars across Kent’s features. 

It appeared that he had gotten more over the years - plus the addition of some hearing aids (likely to help his ears after repeated exposure to loud gunfire and explosives). Willy gave a wry chuckle, “Ye even still have the scars to prove it, lad.” 

Kent gave Willy a look that read “very funny”, though he let the man continue. 

“But what ya don’t know..” Willy started. He paused, a small sigh slipping past his lips, “Is what happened after Lee brought you to the infirmary tent..” 

“Aye.. there were some pretty heavy repercussions on my end..” 

…

After Kent was brought to the infirmary, Lee had gone to find Willy and inform him about what happened. 

“Ye.. ye what?” Willy replied, his face draining of all color as Lee finished retelling the events. Willy’s expression dropped the moment he heard Lee mention “a woman”. 

“I told you, Willy,” Lee groaned, clearly frustrated he had to tell this story for what seemed to be the umpteenth time. It didn’t help that Lee appeared more shaken every time he thought about it. 

“Kent was attacked, I.. I didn’t.. I didn’t know what else to do,” Lee explained, seeming to shrink in on himself with every word. The events of the earlier afternoon - seeing Misha attack Kent, having to be the one who saved him.. It all weighed on Lee quite heavily. 

Willy sighed. He had only himself to blame, he supposed. He had told Lee to use the weapon in self defense - but he never imagined they would actually need to. He hadn’t anticipated that they would actually find Misha, especially so soon after their search had started. Willy replayed the commander’s words in his mind and his stomach churned. 

“Look, lad, this isn’t your fault-” Willy started, attempting to calm Lee down.

“No,” Lee interrupted, crossing his arms over his chest. He spoke once more, in a matter-of-fact tone, “It’s your’s.” 

“Now, hold on a second, son..” 

“If you hadn’t made me grab this-” Lee motioned to the rifle still firmly placed in his shaking palms, emotion rising in his voice, “Maybe that poor woman would still be alive..” 

Willy sighed again, pinching the bridge of his nose to avoid letting his frustration get the better of him. He knew Lee was upset. Arguing with him would only do more harm than good. He wished he could explain everything - to tell Lee why they went out there, to tell Lee why he was here in the first place - but he couldn’t. 

“I don’t - no, I won’t touch one of these things again. Never, “ Lee argued, motioning angrily with his free arm. His voice seemed very heated - quite unlike Lee’s usual demeanor, “I am not ever, and I mean ever, am I going to touch one of these things again.” 

“Aw, come on, lad, it’s not that bad,” Willy pleaded. He was mostly trying to convince himself at this point. Willy knew the repercussion for his failure would be grave.. Hs just didn't know how grave. Yet. 

“You weren't there. You don't know-” Lee spoke again, his face contorting in anger. 

“I assure ya, I do.”

“No, you don't, Willy,” Lee replied, shaking his head in disbelief. He shoved the weapon in Willy’s direction before reaching for the small locket around his neck. He unclasped it - revealing a small picture. It appeared to be a much younger Lee, standing between two figures - both of whom had their faces ripped from the photo, one with their hand firmly gripping his shoulder. Almost militantly. Next to him was a third figure - a much older woman, with kindness shining in her eyes. Her face remained in tact. She was Lee’s Oma. 

On the other side of the locket lay the part thaf had been ripped from the other side - as if whoever had given it to Lee originally did not want them in the picture. The face of one of the figures was jarringly familiar to Willy. Although he looked much younger, Willy could tell it was the commander. Not surprising, Willy thought to himself, he knew the commander was Lee’s father, after all. The other figure he did not know - a woman, with long, sleek black hair and brown eyes similar to Lee’s own. His mother, Willy reasoned. 

“Why are ya showing me this, lad?” Willy asked, confused. 

“Ever since that moment, I haven't been able to stop thinking about that woman.. There was something about her I couldn't quite place.. Something familiar,” Lee explained. He looked at the locket and a small sigh slipped past his lips, “Then, I remembered something..” 

“I found this photo after Oma died - the ripped half, that is..” Lee started, gulping slightly, “I didn't really know the people in it so I didn't think much about it at the time.. But.. seeing that woman's face.. feeling how familiar it was..”

“I opened the locket again.. And I compared what I saw with the woman I.. I.. um.. you know..”

“Anyway.. the years didn't change her that much, I suppose..”

“What are you gettin' at, lad?” Willy asked, raising an eyebrow. He hadn't known what Misha looked like - the Commander hadn't provided a description.

“That woman..” Lee started, taking a deep breath as a small sob built up in his chest, “was my mother.”. 

“And.. and I had to..” Lee tried to explain further, closing his eyes tightly to avoid crying. 

Willy’s eyes widened, and he reached a hand out to carefully touch Lee’s shoulder. He spoke gently, “I'm sorry, lad..” 

Lee shook his head, brushing the contact away. His anger returned. 

Lee clenched his fist at his side, his jaw tightening. He spoke once more, an angry determination filling his voice, “I'm not ever going to touch one of these stupid things again. I don't want to hurt people, self defense or not.” 

And with that, Lee stormed off. Leaving Willy alone to process what he had just learned. 

All the information swirled around his mind - crowding it and causing a large wave of guilt to crash down on him.

He couldn’t believe what he had just heard. He couldn’t believe what Lee had done, either. And he definitely couldn’t believe - or even fathom - the kind of things Lee was feeling at that moment. Willy felt awful, his stomach lurched. This was yet another reason why the Commander had to be stopped. However, Willy couldn’t help thinking about what would happen if Lee ended up in another situation like this. He was worried that Lee might endanger not only himself, but everyone else, too. So, he crept into the medical tent and decided to talk to Kent about it. 

After chatting with Kent, and assuring him he should rest, Willy took a deep breath. He then checked his watch. Nearly 22:00 - the time the Commander had expected him back. He pursed his lips together with a faint smack, taking a moment to hope the commander wouldn’t be too upset about this. But that’s all he could do: hope. Realistically, he knew this wouldn’t end well. 

Willy reluctantly headed towards the Commander’s tent. The man himself was already inside, his hands crossed over his chest. The Commander looked at Willy expectantly. 

“Well, where is she?” The man spoke, raising an eyebrow as he gazed lazily in Willy’s direction. 

“Ah..” Willy started, pursing his lips into a thin line, “About that..” 

The commander looked at him, his eyes shooting a warning glance. He spoke again, “Where is she, Colonel?” 

“She ain’t here, Commander,” Willy admitted. He glanced down at the floor, a sense of foreboding washing over him. He continued, “Not anymore, anyway.” 

“What do you mean by that?” The Commander asked, leaning closer to Willy. His voice remained even, though Willy could hear the small undertones of anger. He spoke again, “Where. Is. She?” 

Willy went silent for a moment, unsure of how much of the events he should reveal. He didn’t want to endanger the boys, but he knew he couldn’t keep this a secret. Eventually, he cleared his throat and mumbled out a faint, “She’s dead.” 

The Commander pinched the bridge of his nose, his face contorting in a barely contained anger. The corners of his mouth morphed into a sort of smile and he released a sound similar to a dry, humorless chuckle. 

“Hilarious, Colonel. If you ever get tired of this gig, you should become a comedian,” The Commander spoke, obviously deluding himself into believing Willy was merely joking. His expression soon returned to its serious state and he looked Willy dead in the eyes. The Commander spoke once more, “Now, tell me where she is.” 

“I have been tryin’ to tell ya,” Willy replied, exasperation filling his voice. “She’s dead, Commander. Happened on the scout mission.. One of the boys.. Ah.. he was attacked, another acted in self defense.” 

The Commander closed his eyes, listening intently to the words Willy was speaking. When he opened his eyes, an all too familiar rage filled them.

“Tell me their names and badge numbers,” The Commander instructed, slamming his tight fist against the desk and causing the documents to jostle. 

“I.. Er..Ya don’t really need those, right? I.. I mean, it was just an accident-” Willy pleaded, his face paling.

“Their names and badge numbers,” The Commander repeated firmly, “Right now.” 

“I don’t think that’s necessary-” 

“I don’t recall asking your opinion, Colonel,” He stated matter-of-factly, his face contorting into an expression of cool, calculated anger. 

“Besides, you owe me,” The Commander reminded, “You failed me, now you will pay the price for your failures.” 

“Commander..” Willy started, a wave of worry forming across his face. His brows knit together. 

“You seem to be rather fond of them, Colonel,” He spoke, the emotion now completely void from his words. He added, “It would be quite a shame for them to pay for your failures, wouldn’t it?” 

“Ye wouldn’t..” Willy replied, his jaw clenching. 

“Oh. no, I wouldn’t…” The Commander replied. Willy mentally wiped some sweat from his brow, relieved. “But as for my colleagues..? Hm.. They will be quite disappointed upon learning they will never receive the information they seek.”

The Commander turned and sat down at his desk, leaning over it and propping up on his elbows. He clasped his hands together, a wry smile forming across his lips, “Tell me their names and badge numbers, and I’ll ensure their safety.” 

Willy sighed. He couldn’t possibly trust the Commander - not after everything he learned - but it seemed that, once again, he didn’t have a choice. He didn’t want to endanger Kent or Lee any more than he already had. He thought to himself, deeply considering the Commander’s offer. He felt utterly helpless. 

Willy looked at the Commander once more, then to a small photo he kept in his breast pocket - a photo of Chris and an infant Kent visiting Willy on his boat. I hope this is the right thing to do, Chrissy.. Willy pleaded silently to himself.

He told the Commander their names. 

The Commander smiled in Willy’s direction. A sick, sadistic smile. He stared at Willy as he reached for a nearby walkie-talkie. He brought it towards his lips, never breaking eye contact with Willy as he did this. 

He pressed the push-to-talk button and repeated the information he was given. However, at the end of it, he said something quite unexpected.”I have a special request for these two soldiers.” The Commander spoke, though he intently watched Willy’s expression as the next words left his lips.

“Kill them.”

Willy had never regretted a decision faster. His face drained of all color and his mouth remained agape. 

Before he realized it, Willy launched himself forward. He reached over the desk and gripped the Commander by the collar of his uniform. 

“How could ya?” He spat, anger filling his voice as his grip tightened around the fabric, “Ye said they’d be safe. Ye said ya would ‘ensure their safety’.” 

“Hm..” The Commander started, “I don’t recall that.” 

Willy felt his teeth clench, his fist gripping the fabric of the Commander’s outfit tight enough to make his knuckles appear white. 

“Ye are one sick, twisted ba-.” Willy spoke, though he was quickly cut off. 

The Commander raised a hand, cutting off any further words from Willy’s mouth. He spoke, his voice coated in a calm, almost playful tone, “Colonel, I would watch your tone. Be thankful I have warned you of what is to come.” 

The Commander went silent for a moment, thinking. Eventually, his lips morphed into a twisted smile, “Besides, you know them better than anyone. You may be able to save them.” 

“If you hurry.” 

And with that, Willy instantly dropped the Commander’s collar and turned a prompt 180 degrees. He rushed out of the tent. Scrambling to think about what the boys would do, panic slowly washed over Willy’s usual calm, collected disposition. 

He couldn’t believe he had been so foolish. He had been trying so hard to protect them that he endangered them in the process. Willy shoved the rushing thoughts down, harshly swallowing as he tried to compose himself. He could fix this. He could still save them. He had to. They were his responsibility now. 

Willy practically sprinted to the medical tent. However, he was taken aback at what he found - or rather, the lack of what he was looking for. It appeared that, while the nurses weren’t looking, Kent had managed to slip out unnoticed. Willy gulped harshly. He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose - trying to stifle the mixture of panic and frustration rising in him. 

Of course Kent had gone against his advice. Willy exhaled an exasperated sigh. Why had he thought any different? This was Chris Neilson’s boy - of course he would search for his friend while injured. Luckily, this meant Willy knew exactly where to look. He silently crept towards the dwellings - making sure to stick to the shadows in case anyone was watching. 

As he approached, he managed to catch the middle of a muffled conversation. He overheard Lee lamenting, remorse layered heavily in his voice as he talked to who Willy assumed could only be Kent. The man silently peered around the corner, watching intently as Kent and Lee huddled together - clearly distressed after the day’s events. Willy strained his ears, trying to determine what they were planning. He knew that they tended to act irrationally when emotions ran high, so he was rightfully concerned. Willy heard another snippet of their conversation:

“Kent, I can't stop thinking about her. I feel awful thinking about how we just.. left her there, you know?”.

 “It doesn't sit right with me. I.. I think we need to go back. Just to give her a proper burial.” 

“Would that help ease your mind?” 

“I think so.” 

Willy raised an eyebrow, clearly taken aback by their decision. However, the most surprising part came next: 

“I know.. you don't really like them or like using them, but it would make me feel safer. And.. since I can't exactly use my arms right now - especially with something like that, you.. might have to be the one to carry it.” 

“Kent, I.. I can't.”

“Okay. If it makes you feel better, we won't bring one.” 

The older man mentally face palmed, a wave of distraught disbelief coating his features. He absolutely couldn’t believe what he just heard. Didn’t they know how dangerous it could be at night? Especially since it appeared they intended to go back to a place where Kent was injured merely hours ago. Willy felt like it was all a twisted joke - one with him as the punchline. He knew that, with the Commander’s conspiracy with the Gotoran soldiers, going back into the town was the last thing any of them should do. Yet, he watched as Kent and Lee slowly trekked down the path - carrying only a dimly lit lantern and their foolish emotions: bravery, determination, and Lee’s guilt. 

Willy shook his head, another sigh slipping past his lips. He gripped the cool metal of the weapon - something he had picked up on his way over, expecting the worst, as always. 

“Those boys,” Willy muttered to himself. He pinched the bridge of his nose before squinting out and seeing how far they had traveled.. “I guess I better follow ‘em, just to make sure that nothin’ bad happens..” He added with a small grumble. 

Willy silently followed them, glancing around to ensure there wasn’t any foreseeable danger. He watched as the boys came to a halt and quickly ducked behind a nearby street pole. It wasn’t much cover, but it would have to do. It looked like Kent and Lee were confused, but Willy wasn’t close enough to hear what they were saying. He took a deep breath and decided he would risk it. He moved from behind the pole and slowly inched towards the boys. However, just as he was about to reach them, they moved once more - approaching a nearby building and peering inside. 

Good, Willy thought to himself, at least they’re bein’ careful. However, Willy’s thoughts were soon interrupted as the boys returned from the doorway - shaking their heads. He watched, confused, as they continued to inspect a row of buildings. He followed behind them, keeping a safe distance to avoid being spotted. Eventually, the boys seemed to find the “correct building” - as evident by their reactions (which Willy saw were ones of intense gagging, as if they stumbled upon something dead). 

He grimaced and moved even closer. From the open doorway, the stench wafted in Willy’s direction - potent enough to make any normal person’s eyes water. However, Willy had experienced enough gruesome scenes in his lifetime to remain mostly unphased. He shook his head and brought the edge of his uniform up to cover his nose. Willy peered through a nearby window, squinting because of the low light, and tried to determine what the boys were doing. 

What in the world are those boys up to? Willy thought to himself. He watched as Kent and Lee attempted to move the woman. Willy sighed. 

He barely had time to react before Kent and Lee emerged from the building once more. This time, dragging a piece of holey fabric behind them. Willy simply shook his head. He couldn’t help but feel partially responsible, but that didn’t mean he thought this was a good idea. Willy only hoped that Lee’s selfless deed didn’t end badly. 

There was that word again: hope. The more Willy needed it, the more he used it, the less it seemed to mean. He hoped he could save them, he hoped nothing bad would happen, he hoped this was all a sick, twisted joke.. Yet, it seemed that even the word itself was turning on him. 

Willy cautiously followed them, sticking to the edge of the path and keeping a respectable distance. He watched intently as the boys - well, mainly Lee - began digging a deep hole. Willy didn’t see this as too unusual and glanced away - only for a moment. However, that moment almost cost him everything. When he looked up, he noticed the silhouettes of some figures - about twenty or so. His eyes went wide, fear coursing through him. 

However, it looked like Kent and Lee were still oblivious. Willy looked around - trying to find something he could use to warn them. He found a small pebble and gripped it tensely in his palm. I hope this works. He thought to himself. Willy took a deep breath and threw the rock as far as he could - watching as it landed on a pile of dirt near Kent’s feet. Luckily, Kent looked up, confused. Willy watched as Kent seemed to notice the figures.

 Please, boys, Willy silently mumbled to himself, gritting his teeth in anticipation, Ye have to run. He waited, watching with each agonizingly slow second as Kent and Lee remained motionless. Willy held his breath, hoping that they would hear his silent pleas. A few seconds later, as if by some miracle, Kent begins to run, hastily dragging Lee out of the hole and frantically pointing in the direction they came from. Willy wiped the beading sweat from his brow, however it seemed the worry wasn’t quite over yet. The large mass of figures had begun following the two boys. Willy watched, his beating heart loudly resounding in his ears. He trailed behind the mass, desperately trying to keep the boys in his line of sight. 

Willy carefully trekked behind them, making sure to stay near the shadows to avoid getting spotted by either the group of enemies or Kent and Lee. Everything was going perfectly - the boys were running away, they were even nearing a building that could be used for shelter. Everything was going perfect. 

Willy watched, his expression contorting in horror as Lee stumbled over a jagged rock. The limp in Lee’s walk that followed a second after didn’t leave much to Willy’s imagination. He knew what had just happened. He also knew that the crowd was only getting closer. He had to do something -  anything. Willy took a deep breath and veered in the direction of the crowd, and, without a second thought, he stood in the middle of the path, the firearm clutched tightly in his steady hands.

“I can’t let ya get any closer,” Willy called out, his voice filled with a calmness that felt almost alien.  He had yet to raise the firearm - hoping it would only be a last resort. 

“We don’t answer to you, old man,” One figure responded, stepping forward. Willy quickly assessed the boldness - this one must be the “leader”, he reasoned. 

“No?” Willy asked, raising an eyebrow. He swallowed - barely noticeable. Let’s hope this works, Willy thought to himself. “Ya answer to my boss though, eh? Would be quite a shame - if he knew yer were tryin’ to disobey his new orders.”

The man went silent for a moment, thinking. Willy could almost see the gears turning. Eventually, he looked Willy up and down - noting the high rank and the Ferngill Republic uniform. His jaw clenched and he spoke through gritted teeth, “New orders?”

“Aye, straight from the man himself,” Willy started.He thought a silent prayer - hoping his luck hadn’t quite run out. He needed them to believe he wasn’t lying or making this up on the spot.

“Enlighten me, then,” The man replied, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“He wants ye to abandon this effort. It was all one big misunderstandin’, you see,” Willy continued. He smoothed any worry from his expression - attempting to make everything he said completely believable. 

“What if we don’t believe you, eh?” 

“Ah.. I’d rather it not have to come t’ that, lad,” Willy answered, truthfully this time. He did not want this situation to escalate, but it appeared the universe did not care what he wanted. He watched as the opposing leader weighed the options - follow the original orders and risk missing new ones, or follow the new orders and get chastised if they proved to be false. 

“I’m sure ya can be reasonable, an’ even make the correct decision,” Willy tried again - attempting to keep the man on his side. 

It wasn’t working.

“Nah,” The man responded, shaking his head, “I don’t think so, Gramps.”

The man turned to several colleagues and motioned towards Kent and Lee before adding, “Go after them. We have a job to do and I don’t have time to listen to this man’s blabbering.” 

Willy sighed. It seems his luck was running thin. He took a deep breath, closing his eyes and muttering a barely audible apology. 

Willy spoke once more, his voice once again steady and even, “Then ya leave me no choice.” He then opened his eyes and raised the firearm. 

The next few moments were nothing more than an adrenaline infused blur - the sounds of gunshots cut through the silence and whizzed around. Willy hoped he managed to buy the boys enough time to flee. He hoped they would manage to find safety. To find something, anything. Somewhere they could hide until he could find them again. 

But, that wasn’t the case. As Willy dodged, he heard a loud, resounding snap. He frantically scanned around the area - his eyes searching for the source of the noise. Much to his dismay, his eyes landed on two figures: one sprawled out on the ground, his arm at an awkward angle, and the other crouching over him warily. As he got closer, he soon realized he was looking at Kent and Lee. 

That ain’t good, he thought to himself, sweat beading on his forehead. It seems he hadn’t given them quite enough time - nor did he account that they, too, would have to dodge the incoming gunfire. He watched as Kent managed to drag Lee inside - and not a second too soon, either. As soon as the door closed, a large circle of soldiers swarmed around the building. Not long after, he heard a voice calling out - something about getting revenge for Misha, followed by the sound of rapid gunfire. Willy’s face paled as he watched bullets ricochet off the side of the building that the boys had just entered. 

As the gunfire died down, Willy silently crept closer - carefully peering around the edge of the tree. He scanned the area - looking for any remaining soldiers. It appeared they had all dispersed. All except for one. 

He watched intently, though his expression soon fell as he noticed Lee hobbling into the open. Willy kept his eyes trained forward - darting between Lee’s location and the distant soldier. The soldier made a motion - reading his weapon - and Willy acted without thinking. He rushed towards Lee. And then it happened. 

It was as if time stopped - his movement became suddenly sluggish, his limbs felt like lead as he attempted to lift them. Willy heard the sound a second later: a sharp, resounding bang followed by the distant whizzing as the bullet traveled through the air. He watched in horror, desperately willing his legs to move. He even tried to call out a cry of warning, but any words that formed found themselves caught in his throat. It was too late. 

The bullet collided with Lee’s side in one swift motion, lodging itself in between flesh and the slick crimson ooze beneath. Willy could do nothing but watch - his limbs still refusing to cooperate. He felt his chest tighten as Lee slumped over, crashing to the ground in a pained heap. 

Still immobilized by shock, Willy watched as a horrified Kent approached the door and struggled, attempting to pull Lee back inside - before firmly closing the door behind him. The sound of distant rustling caused him to shake out of his stupor. His shock was replaced with anger and he marched in the direction of the distant soldier. 

When he reached them, Willy immediately kicked the weapon from the man’s hand. Afterwards, he gripped the man’s collar, roughly dragging them upwards. 

“Ye are twisted,” Willy spat, the anger clearly vivid in his voice. His grip tightened on the man’s shirt, his knuckles turning white as a result. Willy continued, “That boy had a life ahead of him - a future.” 

The man scoffed, baring his teeth as he looked up at Willy. He spoke, “So did my Misha. I guess he should’ve thought about that before he took her from me.” 

“Again with this ‘Misha’ lass,” Willy grumbled, his brows furrowing together. He continued, “What’s so damn special about her, anyway? Whatever information she had couldn’t be worth that lad’s life.” 

“And here I thought you knew everything,” The soldier replied, his expression forming one of pity. 

“Eh?” Willy asked, raising an eyebrow. “Lad, if ye know somethin’, you need to tell me - right now.” 

“And why should I do that?” The soldier replied, his expression darkening. “There isn’t anything left for me here, Gramps. My beloved Misha is gone - my future with her. No reward or punishment will be worth this damned existence.”

“It doesn’t have to be this way, son,” Willy tried to explain, his voice firm. “You can still change your future. You don’t have to listen to the corrupt, two-faced leaders.” 

The soldier smiled - one of defeat, one of pity. He let out a small, wry chuckle and shook his head in disbelief. He spoke once more, “You really don’t get it, do you?”

Willy looked a bit confused, not understanding what the soldier was hinting at.

“We aren’t in control here, Gramps,” the soldier explained, his expression turning solemn, “Never were. Never will be.” 

“What are ya blabberin’ about, lad?” 

“He’s using you,” The man answered. “He’s using all of us. Pawns in the world’s worst game of fuckin’ chess, that’s all we are - just a meaningless sacrifice, expected to die silently, leavin’ all the damn glory to the kings.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

“You aren’t clever, Gramps,” the soldier spoke once more - pity layered in his words. “He’s using your own game against you and you can’t even see it.” 

Wily raised an eyebrow. Was his plan that obvious? Had he not been as careful as he thought? He wasn’t sure. 

“You only got this close because he let you,” The man added, looking lazily in Willy’s direction. He continued, “but, you’re simply another piece on the board. He knows that a pawn will never challenge his own king - he has rigged the game called it fairness. Called it a kindness. Called it mercy.”

“He never wanted information,” the soldier explained, “He wanted elimination. Wanted all his little… ‘problems’ to disappear. And you delivered on a silver fuckin’ platter.” 

“What-?” Willy asked, his eyes widened in surprise. He dropped the man’s collar. If what the man was saying had an ounce of truth to it, Willy wasn’t sure he could believe it. 

While Willy was thinking, the man scrambled and grabbed his previously discarded weapon. 

“But it doesn’t matter,” The man spoke, raising the weapon. “I still have a part to play. I have to finish this.. For Misha.”

“Ah.. I can’t let ya do that,” Willy replied, his face paling as he thought about the meaning of the man’s words. Lee was already injured, he knew that meant Kent must be next. He couldn’t let that happen. He couldn’t lose another son. 

The man ignored Willy’s words. He bolted, a fierce determination in his eyes. Willy sighed and raised his own weapon. 

“I’m sorry,” Willy called out, peering through the small scope attached to the rifle. He spoke once more, “But you left me no choice.” 

And with that, a final, sharp bang resounded through the quiet of the night. Willy did not look at the man - he did not need to. His aim was always true - a curse of this lifestyle, one he picked up as a means of survival. He listened as the figure thudded against the packed Earth beneath his feet, but only for a moment. 

With the new information in mind, he approached the building where Kent and Lee had hidden themselves. He knocked on the door - a frantic, almost terrified knock. He hoped he wasn’t too late. He hoped he could still save Lee. He hoped and hoped and hoped. 

But it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. 

“Open the door,” Willy called out, pounding on the outside of the door once again before attempting to jostle the handle and speaking again, “It’s me, lads. I’m here to help ye.” 

“Willy?” Kent called out, skeptically. 

“Yes, lad!” Willy spoke, his frustration growing the longer the door remained closed. “Let me in an’ I’ll explain everythin’.” 

… 

“Ya don’t need me to retell what happened next, do ya?” Willy asked, turning to Kent - who had faint, shimmery streaks running down his cheeks, as if he had been crying.

 It appears Willy’s story was uncovering some long-forgotten memories; memories Kent hadn’t wanted to forget but lost anyway. Memories of his friends, of their time together, of the reason he was still alive today, of the namesake of his youngest son. 

“Ah..” Kent spoke, reaching a hand up to brush away the faint tear streaks, “No. I remember - bits and pieces, but I think it’s better that way.”

Willy gave a firm nod and glanced into the water - his own mood had soured as he retold the events of years ago. He hadn’t forgotten them - he wouldn’t let himself forget them. Every night, Willy thought about what happened. He still held himself accountable, despite knowing he was part of a larger scheme. 

“Just.. tell me what happened next,” Kent responded, a small sigh slipping past his lips, “Tell me why you helped me escape. Tell me what happened to you afterwards.” 

“Ah.. I was ‘fraid ye would ask about that part.” 

“I deserve to know.” 

“That you do, Kent,” Willy replied reluctantly, nodding once again. He repeated the phrase, “That you do.” 

Willy pursed his lips together, debating how to best approach it. Eventually, he resumed his story. 

…

After dropping Lee off at the medical tent, and explaining to the nurses what happened, Willy angrilly marched towards the commander’s tent. He needed to confront him. He wasn’t going to be a pawn to his game any longer, no matter what the commander thought. 

“You’re still standing, I see,” The Commander spoke, barely even glancing up as Willy entered the area. He pursed his lips together, noting the hostility in Willy’s eyes. He spoke again,  “I suppose that means you have some grievances.” 

“Grievances? Grievances?” Willy spoke, anger rising in his voice. “I have more than grievances, Commander. A boy is dead - because of your order. One of your own soldiers, nonetheless.” 

The Commander merely shrugged, looking unamused. He spoke, his tone bored, “People die everyday, Colonel.” 

“Maybe you didn’t hear me,” Willy repeated, leaning across the desk and inching closer to the commander, “A boy is dead because of your orders. He shouldn’t be.” 

“A pity, truly,” The Commander replied with a small hum. He glanced up at Willy, his lips forming a thin line. He spoke once more, “However, I have no idea what you’re talking about, Colonel. I haven’t given any orders.” 

“Ye lyin’, connivin’-”

“Ah-ah,” the Commander interrupted, “I would watch your tone.” He pulled out a small document - one with a signature beneath it. It appeared to be an order, one showing that Lee and Kent would have to go on a solo mission in the dangerous part of the town, at night. One with Willy’s signature. One he did not write. 

“It would be quite a shame if someone found your orders, wouldn’t it?” He spoke, a sly, twisted grin forming on his lips. He continued, “The ones responsible for this poor boy’s death, hm?” 

“Eh? I didn’t-” Willy protested, his eyes widening as he glanced at the letter. It looked official - and they even have the messy pen strokes from his heavy hand. It was incredibly convincing, but Willy knew he would never sign something like that. 

“Listen, Colonel,” The Commander spoke, using a pen to push Willy further from his face. He clasped his hands on top of each other and spoke calmly, “I control the narrative. What you ‘did’ or ‘did not’ do is merely whatever I say. No hard feelings, of course. I simply do not need you any more. I have everything I wanted -  all thanks to you.” 

Willy’s mind was racing - he couldn’t believe he was going to be framed for the commander’s crimes. He had to do something. 

As he was thinking up a plan, the commander spoke once more, something barely audible, yet Willy assumed it was another twisted scheme. 

“Pardon?” 

“Oh, I suppose there isn’t a reason to hide it anymore, hm?” The Commander asked, his voice playful, teasing even, as if this was simply a game. He added, “Your next orders will be carried out soon enough.”

“What are ya talkin’ about?” Willy asked, both confused and wary. He eyed the Commander suspiciously. 

“Kent Neilson is scheduled to be tried for treason. Both as your accomplice and as the murderer of his fellow brother in arms.”

Willy’s eyes widened, Treason? Kent was only eighteen - hardly capable of treason. He gulped harshly, desperately trying to remain calm. He needed more information. Panicking would ruin his chances at receiving that.

“When?” He asked, harshly gripping the edge of the Commander’s desk. 

“Tomorrow afternoon,” The Commander replied, his tone once again returning bored. He continued, “Such a shame, too.. I was really looking forward to his potential.” 

With that, Willy had made up his mind: he had to get Kent out before tomorrow afternoon. And he knew just how to do it. 

The following morning, Willy rushed towards Kent’s sleeping quarters - however, he was met with a large wave of confusion. Kent was nowhere to be seen. He asked several of the cabinmates and no one knew anything - no one except Ray, that is. 

After receiving a tip from Ray, Willy nodded and left the room. He went to the garage and entered the nearest vehicle. Judging by what Ray had told him, Kent had left about an hour ago - which meant he hadn’t gotten too far, much to Willy’s luck. 

Sure enough, he found Kent attempting to leave - on foot, nonetheless. Willy had to stifle a laugh as he noticed Kent was walking in the wrong direction. 

“Kent!” Willy called out as he trailed behind Kent, having to barely press the gas on the vehicle to keep pace with him. “What are you doin’, lad?” 

“Leaving!” Kent called back. He tried to walk slightly faster, but his legs were close to giving up. Willy watched Kent - noting the boy appeared tired. His legs must be exhausted, Willy mused to himself, He’s been walkin’ for hours - it seems. 

“And where do ya think you’re goin’?” Willy asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically. Of course, he knew exactly where Kent was going. He even intended to take him there. 

“Home,” Kent answered simply. He looked ahead, determined, before adding, “I’m going home.” 

“Not that way, ya aren’t,” Willy spoke, a hearty chuckle bellowing in his chest. He reached a hand out the window and pointed in a different direction than Kent was walking before adding, “City is that way, son.” 

…

“But ya know that part, right?” Willy spoke, cutting off his story once again. He turned to Kent, who was nodding silently. Willy continued, a chuckle slipping past his lips, “Aye.. we were trapped in that storm. A real rager, it was. Then yer Mammy came an’ took ya home, didn’t she?” 

Kent nodded once more. The details were fuzzy, but he remembered it clearly: praying to Yoba, using Willy’s lucky coin on the off chance the payphone worked, being surprised when it actually did, his mother taking him home, and getting to see Jodi after so long. He remembers the way his heart swelled when he saw her, drenched in the rain and wearing only her nightgown. Kent had never been more in love with her than that moment. Though, the love he felt then still rings true today. 

“So, tell me,” Kent began, smacking his lips together as he decided if he really wanted to know what happened next. After deciding he did, he continued, “What happened afterwards? How did you get back?” 

“Well, I drove back, son,” Willy answered, shrugging his shoulders. 

“Wait,” Kent tilted his head in confusion. That doesn’t make sense. He thought the vehicle had gotten stuck - which would leave Willy trapped for hours (or until someone noticed). He continued, “I thought the car was stuck..?” 

“Eh, it was,” Willy gave a small chuckle. He reached over and gave Kent and firm smack on his back. He sent a wry smile in his direction, his eyes crinkling up at the edges. “For about five seconds.” 

“What?” 

“All terrain vehicle, lad,” Willy explained, giving a small nod, “Made to withstand even the deepest mud.” 

“But you-?” Kent asked, utterly confused. 

Willy waved a hand dismissively. He spoke once more, “I just wanted to make sure ya got home safely. There were people breathin’ down my neck, watchin’ my every move.. I couldn’t go into the city if I wanted to.” 

Willy pursed his lips together, shaking his head. He continued, “Nah, I didn’t want to risk yer safety any more than I already had. Better you be safe an’ sound in yer Mammy’s car.” 

“Anyway, that part isn’t important,” Willy dismissed. He made a small “hrm” noise as his line came up empty yet again. He reached for another piece of bait, applying it to the hook as he spoke once more, “What is important, though, is what happened when I got back.” 

…

As soon as Willy arrived back at camp, he knew this would take a turn for the worst. He took a moment to mentally prepare himself, taking a long, deep breath, and then opened the driver’s door. He stepped out. The second his boots touched the earth beneath him, his arms were quickly seized - two sets of hands roughly dragged him towards the commander’s quarters. 

“Imagine my surprise when, upon going to fetch a certain cadet for his trial, I am informed that he is no longer there,” The Commander spoke, a barely contained anger lining his features. An exasperated sigh slipped past his lips, “Care to explain, Colonel?” 

“I don’t have to explain anythin’ to ya,” Willy replied. 

“Perhaps you didn’t hear me, Colonel,” The Commander started, narrowing his eyes. He leaned over, his face inches away from Willy’s own. He repeated, “Care to explain? Where is Kent Neilson?” 

“Gone,” Willy answered. He glared at the Commander and added, “Long gone. Ye ain’t gonna find him even if ya tried.”

“Wrong answer,” The Commander replied, his anger no longer hidden. He motioned to someone standing nearby. Ray’s face was illuminated as he stepped closer to the Commander. 

“Private Raegan Schmidt has kindly filled in the details,” The Commander explained, resting a hand almost proudly on Ray’s shoulder. He continued, “I know exactly where Kent Neilson is, Colonel. I also know that this makes him a deserter and you, an accomplice - a crime punishable by death.”

“Now, I’ll give you another chance,” He said. “I’m feeling quite.. Merciful.” 

“I don’t want yer brand o’ mercy,” Willy replied. The Commander responded with a small “hmph”, crossing his arms over his chest. 

“Colonel, someone needs to teach you to watch your tone,” He stated. The Commander then nodded towards the back wall and another figure approached. Willy felt the pain before he even noticed the movement: a sharp, abrupt pain spread throughout his face. A harsh object - similar to a human fist - collided with his nose. He grimaced, though he only glared in the commander’s direction. 

“I am truly sorry it has to be this way, William,” The Commander spoke, watching as another punch collided with Willy’s nose - causing a small stream of blood to trickle out his left nostril. He continued, “You would’ve made such a great ally. We could’ve even been… acquaintances.” 

Willy scoffed, shaking his head. He looked at the Commander - his eyes filling with hate.   Another punch, more blood, yet Willy no longer cried out in pain. He was done bowing down to this man. He had to confront him, and he had to do it now. He spoke, “Yeah, an’ I would’ve ended up like all yer ‘acquaintances’ - dyin’ because I was in yer way. Just another thing for ya to get rid of.”

“Whatever do you mean-?” 

“You know exactly what I mean,” Willy replied, narrowing his eyes, “Don’t you, Vincent?” 

“How did you-?” The Commander - Vincent - replied, his face paling as the name slipped past Willy’s lips. 

“I have my ways,” Willy responded, his determination creeping back in. It was clear that he hadn’t expected Willy to know his name. “Ya didn’t want anyone findin’ out, did you? Didn’t want anyone makin’ connections. Didn’t want anyone threatenin’ yer power.”

“So.. ya got rid of them. Both of ‘em. Didn’t you, Vincent?” Willy stated, shaking his head in anger. “Had yer own son killed - just to save yer damn reputation. You make me sick.” 

“Stop with these.. Wild accusations,” Vincent replied, defensive. However, it was clear Willy had gotten under his skin. He smoothed his expression and added, “Besides, even if these were true, you have no proof.” 

“Eh?” Willy asked, raising an eyebrow. His lip quirked up in the corner, forming a small smirk. He spoke again, “Don’t I, though?” 

Vincent eyed Willy warily. Willy swore he saw the smallest bead of sweat form on the Commander’s brow. 

Willy chuckled, fighting against the arms that restrained him. He shook his head, looking at Vincent before speaking once more, “What’s wrong, Commander? Ye ain’t… afraid, are ya? After all, if what I’m sayin’ is…’wild accusations,’ ya have nothing to be worried about, eh?”

“I am not afraid,” Vincent replied, clenching his jaw. A vein protruded in his forehead. He spoke again, through gritted teeth, “You have nothing. You are nothing. No one will believe a word you say.” 

“Oh, but it ain’t just words, Commander,” Willy replied.He managed to free one of his arms and reached into his back pocket. He pulled out the tape recorder - one that held every order and conversation he had with the commander for the last two weeks. He also had the small nameplate - something he made a copy of before locking the safe all those days ago. 

“This nifty device contains all the ‘proof’ they’ll need,” He spoke with a nod. Several murmurs filled the room and everyone glanced around warily. Willy added, “And, the cherry on top? It’s all in yer own words.” 

“You-.. you’re lying,” Vincent replied, though the calm demeanor was slowly melting. HIs face paled - stricken with panic. 

“I don’t make a habit o’ lyin’, Commander,” Willy retorted, his face contorting once again, “though, I’m sure ye wouldn’t know anythin’ about that.” 

“You don’t know what you’re talking about, Colonel,” Vincent replied, clenching his fist. 

“Don’t I?” As the words left Willy’s mouth, the commander seemed to snap. He lunged forward, gripping Willy by the collar and hoisting him off the ground. 

“No,” Vincent answered, “You don’t.” 

“Then ya don’t mind me telling them about yer son, do ya?”

Vincent glared, though he attempted to remain calm. He spoke once more, trying to convince them, “I don’t even have a son.” 

“Ah..” Willy piped up, a short chuckle slipping past his lips, “Then I suppose tellin’ yer full name won’t matter, huh?” 

“You-”

“Admit it,” Willy urged, “Admit ya have a son. Admit ya killed him.” 

“I did no such thing. I have no son.” Vincent spoke, his voice full of hot anger. He glanced around, noting the crowd’s response to his behavior. He set Willy down and cleared his throat before speaking again, more calm this time. “I have no idea what you’re talking about, Colonel.” 

Willy sighed, shaking his head. “Ya always choose the hard way, don’t ye?” 

Willy fished around in his pocket, taking out a small crumpled piece of paper - a copy of Lee’s enlistment form. 

“In my hands, I have the enlistment form of former Private Vincent Leegland - whom you all know was reported dead just yesterday,” Willy started, holding up the form and earning a chorus of “oohs” and “huhs”from the crowd. He brought out the nameplate and continued, “and in my other hand, I hold the nameplate of yer esteemed Commander.” 

Willy took a deep breath, letting a wave of courage overtake him once more. He carefully turned over the nameplate and held it towards the crowd. He read it off, “It reads ‘Commander Vincent Leegland.’ What I didn’t mention was that, on Private Leegland’s form, his name is listed as ‘Vincent Leegland Jr.’.” 

A chorus of gasps filled the room and Vincent visibly tensed. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Vincent spoke, trying to veer the situation back under his control. He pointed an accusatory finger in Willy’s direction and spoke, “What matters is he is an accomplice to a desertion. He helped a soldier escape his trial.” 

“I only helped him escape,” Willy started, grimacing as he just admitted to aiding a desertion. He kept speaking nonetheless, “Because ye were going to convict him of a crime - a crime he didn’t commit. A crime you committed.” 

The crowd stirred once again, clearly getting antsy from the tension in the room. Vincent was losing. He knew it, too. He couldn’t stand it. 

“I should bring you to trial,” Vincent spat, his calm persona vanishing once again, “I should tell the others of your deeds.” 

“An’ I should tell ‘em of your treason,” Willy retorted, shaking his head. 

As the words left Willy’s mouth, anger bubbled in Vincent’s chest one more. He reached over, lunging for Willy’s shirt once more. He gripped it tightly, pulling the man close to his face.

“You don’t know what you’re doing, Colonel,” Vincent growled, his voice barely audibly - yet seething with raw hatred. 

Murmurs filled the crowd. Treason? What treason? The Commander committed treason? But he is so great - practically a saint! 

Vincent glanced around, noted the nervous energy of everyone in the room. He was supposed to be their calm, composed Commander - the one who had control, the one who had power, the one who was admired, the one who was feared. Yet, upon watching Willy speak to the commander this way, the onlookers seemed uncertain. This was their commander, yet he appeared weak, cowardly. Vincent was losing them. He couldn’t let that happen. He sighed, reigning in his emotions and a wave of false composure washed over him once more. 

“Look, Colonel,” Vincent started, his voice layered with flattery. “We can work this out civilly. I can be merciful, I can be kind, you’ll see.” 

Willy scoffed. He pursed his lips and spat - a wad of slick, sticky crimson mixed with a tooth launched from his mouth and onto the commander’s face. He spoke calmly, “I said I don’t want yer mercy - or yer kindness.” 

Vincent grimaced, gritting his teeth harshly enough Willy could almost hear them grinding in restraint. He let one hand go, briefly loosening his grip on Willy’s shirt, and wiping the gunk off his face. In this moment, Willy reared his head back before bringing it up harshly - abruptly headbutting Vincent in the nose. He stumbled back - gripping his nose with a groan, causing Willy’s shirt to drop from his hands entirely. As the commander was distracted, Willy once again reached into his back pocket and pulled out the recorder. 

“Ye want to see how great yer commander is?” Willy asked, though he didn’t expect an answer. He stood on a nearby crate and raised the recorder of his head, “I’ll show ya just how great he is.” 

He paused, waiting for someone to try and stop him. No attempt was made. Willy pressed the small play button and the commander’s own words began playing - revealing his plan, his treachery, and even how he ordered the death of his own son and how he tried to frame Willy and Kent for it, all to save his reputation.

After he recovered from his daze, Vincent was furious. He approached Willy, anger swirling around him. However, he was stopped by two sets of hands - the same hands that restrained Willy earlier.

“What are you doing?” Vincent growled, his voice almost condescending. “Move.” 

“We don’t listen to traitors,” one figure explained, crossing their arms firmly over their muscly chest. 

“Or murderers,” the other piped up, disgust clear across their face, “Especially not those who turn on their own flesh and blood.” 

“Men.. There is no need to be hasty,” The commander attempted to reason, his calm, commanding persona trying to creep back in. 

“I just want to talk to Colonel Dodgens. I’m sure we can reach a..” He grimaced, gritting his teeth, “Civil conclusion.” 

“You hearin’ this, Willy?” One of the figures called over their shoulder. “What do you think?” 

Willy thought for a moment. He had the power in this situation: he could absolutely ruin the commander, he could send this recorder to the hirer ups, he could even become the commander. But, looking at the commander, seeing how the power corrupted him - made him a cowering, weak man who would hurt anyone to keep a sliver of control. Willy hated that sight. He didn’t want to become like Vincent. No, he had a better idea. 

“I’ll hear ‘em out, lads,” Willy said, motioning for them to part and let Vincent through, “But I’ll be makin’ the demands.” 

“Fine,” Vincent replied, a sigh slipping past his lips. He approached Willy, though he was stopped before he could get too close. “Name your price. Anything you want - it’s yours.” 

Willy thought for a moment, pursing his lips together. Eventually, he spoke, “I want ya to forget about Private Neilson’s desertion. Expunge it from his records - burn ‘em if you have to, but no one will find out Kent Neilson deserted.” 

“Done.” Vincent replied reluctantly, crossing his arms.

“One more thing,” Willy started.

“Which is..?” The commander replied, bored. 

“Give me an honorable discharge. Let me go home an’ put this nonsense behind me. I promise that I’ll be outta yer hair. I won’t even think about comin’ back. Sailor’s honor.” 

Vincent thought for a moment, his lips forming a thin line as he debated the options before him: attempt to have Kent and Willy jailed, only to have his own crimes brought forward, or let them go - forget the entire thing ever happened. It wouldn’t fix the damage, but it would prevent any more. Vincent looked at Willy, raising an eyebrow as he asked, “If I grant these requests.. You’ll give me any proof you have?”

“If it guarantees Kent’s safety.” Willy responded, nodding. “That lad.. He ain’t a criminal. He ain’t a monster. He’s got a good heart. He’s got a future. I won’t let ya take away the future of another boy - not after Danny, not after Lee.” 

“Consider it done,” Vincent replied finally, giving a curt nod. “Pack your bags, William Dodgens, you’re going home.” 

Willy stepped off the crate and approached the commander. He stuck his hand out, sealing the deal with a firm handshake. 

“Now.. the recorder?” The commander demanded, holding out his hand expectantly. 

“Heh,” Willy chuckled, shaking his head, “I ain’t that gullible, Vincent.”

“Urg-”

“Don’t worry, ye will get yer little recorder,” Willy reassured, waving his hand dismissively, “After you hold up yer end of the bargain. I’m not lettin’ ya weasel your way out of this - not again.” 

…

“All that really happened, Willy?” Kent asked, his face contorting in a mixture of shock and disbelief. 

“Aye, ye better believe it, lad,” Willy confirmed. He chuckled and pointed to his nose, which was now crooked, “Even have one hell of a scar to prove it. Me poor sniffer hasn’t been straight in..oh… fifteen or so years.” 

“Anyway, after makin’ sure Vincent held up his end of the bargain, I gave him the recorder,” Willy explained, turning his attention back to Kent. 

“Why?” Kent asked, shaking his head, “Weren’t you worried he’d destroy it?” 

“Ah.. I knew he’d destroy it - even watched ‘im chuck the damn thing into the flames, along with yer desertion records.. But I did it to make sure ya would be safe, Kent. Haven’t you ever wondered why no one ever came after ya, despite you committing a serious crime?” 

“Hmm,” Kent mused, pursing his lips together in thought, “Now that you mention it..” 

“Ah, it doesn’t matter,” Willy replied, once again dismissing the train of thought. “After I watched the papers turn to ash, I packed my bags.” 

“That’s where I found that picture of ye and yer friends, you know. Must’ve taken that thing the day you arrived, kept it on me bedside for the longest time. Realized it was only right for ya to have it, I did. So, I sent it to ya.”

“I remember that!” Kent replied, nodding enthusiastically, “I still have it. I hope it didn’t get damaged in the move..”

“Hey, Willy?” Kent asked, thinking deeply about the photo. He remembered receiving it, but no other communication from Willy. “Why didn’t you respond to my letters?” 

“Eh?” Willy asked, raising a brow, “I didn’t receive any letters, lad.”

“What?”

“Ah.. ye probably sent ‘em to the camp, didn’t ya?” Willy asked, nodding solemnly. “Aye, I was already long gone. Moved back to the comfort of this town. Though… knowin’ Vincent, he probably used anythin’ with my name on it as kindlin’ fer his fireplace. Sorry, lad.” 

“Ah, I see,” Kent replied, giving a glum nod in Willy’s direction. He went silent for a moment. He glanced down at the water, watching the colors swirl and shift into familiar yet distant faces. He muttered softly, “Would you have replied..? If you received them, I mean..”

“To every single one.” 

The two stood in silence for a moment - sharing an understanding look. Eventually, Willy glanced towards the town - he looked at the blue house in the distance, watching the hustle and bustle of movers as the small family tried to get settled. He watched as a lanky teen - one who resembled a much younger Kent - placed an anchor over the door. 

“Say, Kenty boy,” Willy asked, turning his attention back to the man across from him. He continued, “Who replaced me, anyway?” 

Kent raised a brow, “What do you mean?” 

“As the leader of the naval forces,” Willy clarified.

Kent went silent for a moment. Eventually, he turned and revealed the small nameplate and badge on his uniform jacket, “That would be me.”

“So.. what do they call ya.?”

“Colonel Kent Neilson - commander of the naval forces.” 

“Atta boy,” Willy replied, reaching over and placing a firm hand on Kent’s shoulder. “I always knew ya could do it.” 

“So.. what about you, Willy?” Kent asked, glancing around at the small shop behind him, “How is life treating you?”

“Eh, I can’t complain,” Willy replied, giving a curt nod. He motioned towards the shop, “I’m runnin’ me Pappy’s old shop. I think the life of a fisherman is much more my style.”

Kent nodded. He could infer that much. He was about to switch the topic when Willy piped up once again, “That’s not all, though.”

“Oh?” He asked, looking at Willy with intrigue.

Willy chuckled, a small smile forming across his lips, “Even got meself a nice lad. Name’s Marlon - he’s a real fighter. Probably seen as much combat as I have. He reminds me of an old friend.” Willy nodded to himself, pursing his lips together, “Got the same fightin’ spirit as yer Pappy, he does. Same heart, too.” 

“Well,” Kent replied, sharing Willy’s smile, “I’m happy for you, Willy. I’m glad you found someone.” 

“Ye as well, Kent,” Willy replied. He nodded towards the small family a few feet away. “Ya got yerself a real nice family, son. I’m proud of ya - yer Pappy would be, too.”

“Yeah,” Kent said, a small smile forming on his lips. He looked towards his family - his gaze full of love and adoration, “I don’t know how I got so lucky.” 

“Heh,” Willy chuckled, shaking his head, “Luck ain’t got nothing to do with it, lad.”

“Huh?”

“Yer blessed, Kent.” 

Kent went silent, thinking. He thought about his family - about how much they meant to him. He thought about Jodi - about how he thought he was the luckiest man in the world, about how happy he was to call himself her husband. He would give Jodi the entire world - all she had to do was ask for it. He would do anything for each and every one of them. He will do anything for each and every one of them. Because that is what you do for the people you love. 

“Yes,” Kent nodded, turning back to Willy with a wide grin, “Yes I am.”

[frogtender]

HI I WATCHED S2 ACT ONE

and i'm going to be rewatching it multiple times before the next arc comes out bc omg mama we have been fed so fucking good i am REELING I LOVE THIS SHOW SO MUCH

i want to interact with the arcane fandom on here more!!! but please keep in mind my takes are silly and surface-level bc my knowledge of lore is not that good and i'm not that smart <3

my thoughts and feelings below the cut. 100% spoilers livetweeted to my girlfriend so it speaks to her directly in some places but i'm not about to type out any other thinkpiece about this omg

- vi come to our reality bc u would love King for a Day by Pierce the Veil and Kellin Quinn (2012)

- jayce was saying to mel "how is viktor like basically fucking Dead and i wasn't hurt at all??? it should be ME in there (the hex core bacta tank)" and mel was like "there's no sense in things like this it's pointless to speculate" which would be a true and meaningful statement EXCEPT FOR THE FACT THAT people speculate her shining gold metal back and arm appliqués stuff is a Solarian shield (idk jack shit about Solaris but it's a thing i guess idk) so there is SUCH a chance that jayce was shielded by it but not viktor... which like... would be a dramatic reveal if mel was like "yeah i actually didn't want him to survive so i chose to only shield you" but why the fuck would she do that??? but in the very first shot which is of jayce coming back to awareness he is already Standing Up and mel is standing right next to him while everyone else has been blown tf around so. i am pretty confident that she shielded just the two of them... i hope jayce finds out and resents mel for it while still resenting viktor's machine herald shit omfg what if he blames mel for viktor becoming robot king... like viktor told jayce "i was supposed to die u promised to destroy the hex core" so viktor blames jayce but what if jayce blames mel WHY CANT EVERYONE KISS AND MAKE UP COME TF ON....TOXIC THROUPLE TOXIC THROUPLE

- the important character development of s2e1 was cait being really scared and intimidated about filling her mom's shoes but then by the end she is Girlbossified and has a hextech rifle... with three sights on it??? like regular glass sights but there are three of them? i have no idea how that would be more effective than just a single sight with a really clear lens but i also don't know shit about guns LOL. anyway she marched into the council meeting at the end like "YES I AM A GIRLBOSS AND HERE IS MY PLAN" and ambessa was looking at her a bit concerned... if there ends up being a power showdown between ambessa and cait it will be so fucking wild bc tbh cait is NOT very scary lololol like she's angry and she's got a gun but imo she's still the kind of person who would hesitate before kicking someones teeth in

- ok episode 2 zaun is going full mad max AND steampunk w half people wearing bondage gear and the other half being top hat bespectacled steampunk gentlemen.. its like a chem baron fight for power thing except they all fucking suck and i'm excited for jinx to kill them all (she kills 1/3 of the remaining ones in s2e2)

- VIKTOR IS MACHINE BOYYYYYYYYYYYYY "WHAT AM I" YOU ARE MY PERFECT BEAUTIFUL BOY SON!!!!

- i am so sorry and so delighted to announce that viktor in this form has somehow reached PEAK PATHETIC WET MEOW MEOW HE LOOKS SO GOOD

- i can't believe VIKTOR is being the lead toxic in the yaoi WHAT DO U MEAN U HAVE TO GO... THE ONLY THING KEEPING U TOGETHER WAS AFFECTION.... BRO MARCH UR NEWLY METAL ASS BACK IN THERE AND SMOOCH UR BOYFRIEND HE SAVED YOUR LIFE‼️‼️ augh okay i guess viktor will be an emo cult leader now

- sevika is TOTALLY becoming a new champion she HAS to jinx gave her a really cool new arm... its very silly but very cool i think u will like its concept.. but sevika and jinx team-up goes crazy actually i am a Big Fan‼️‼️

- VIKTOR IS MAKING ALL THE SHIMMER ADDICTS INTO MACHINE PEOPLE..... and it completely heals them and makes them young??????? broski WHAT like that is cool as hell!!! they look super badass after The Transformation even if i wasnt a shimmer addict i'd want him to do that shit to me... no wonder he becomes a cult leader he's earned it

- another episode ending with a vander werewolf tease SHOW ME THE WOLF ‼️‼️‼️ SHOW ME THE WOLFFFF i know at the end of episode 3 these bitches are gonna release da vander and then i will have to wait a week to see him forreal augh

- okay its 1:52pm im terrified to watch this tbh but this is the last minute i can start before hockey game

- EXTREMELY COOL ANIMATIC OMFG AND THE SONG RULES HELLO.... babe u HAVE to see this you'd LOVE IT OMFGGGG ITS SO GOOD

- ooh the dead son is a real dead son and also that old lady with the too young voice (amara i guess) was in fact related to the scary goddess thingy people were hypothesizing??? i think??? but thats who the medarda family has blood feud with ig we don't know much else yet

- YURI KISS OMG CAITVI KISS YURI CONFIRMED YAAAAY THEY GOT THEIR LITTLE DRAMATIC FIRST KISS SCENE WOOOOOO YEAH i was worried they were gonna make us wait for that but hell ya

- omfg there is a CRAAAAZY furry design in this bitch hello... who is she and why is she such a queen

- okay maybe ur right jayce does look unnervingly human LOL there was a scene between him and ekko where he looked WAY too good

- TOXIC YURI TOXIC YURI vi stopped cait from shooting jinx and also btw cait has been on a Being A Bitch arc omfg they were making out 10 minutes ago now they are BROKEN UPPP!!! because a random child has trauma-bonded to jinx as an older sister figure HOW THE TURN TABLES and she shielded jinx w herself and seeing that a child cared that much for jinx made vi falter about killing jinx. who is reckless to an apathetically suicidal degree now

- also um. jayce and da scientists seem to have touched the arcane a little too close bc?? they got transported into a Nothing Dimension and then the very nature of reality started glitching in a CRAZY acid trip sequence while jinx vs vi and cait vs sevika fight was happening... it seemed very much like an Into the Spiderverse kind of thing... very interested to see how this will continue to manifest in the remaining two arcs

- mel was just kidnapped by the black rose (??? cult???) which are the ones ambessa is beefing with.. they better not kill her i love mel i want her back safe she's too beautiful to die

- ambessa is in War Mode and she looks extremely badass even if i think she's at least 70% evil

- also cait shot off jinx's middle finger

- in an EXTREMELY bold move, ambessa appointed CAIT AS GENERAL IN PILTOVER WHICH IS NOW UNDER MARTIAL LAW????? bruh cait is getting an insane arc this season.. she went from naive to vengeance-driven and impulsively violent in 3 episodes

- oh my christ cait is fucking queen of cops now... this is so unfortunate for her character arc and so unfortunate for lesbianism

- ANOTHER VANDER TEASE ARE U FUCKING KIDDING MEEEEEEEE I SAID SHOW ME THE GODDAMN WOLF BRO

- okay so it seems like ambessa has realized that she can use cait as a militant pawn using her grief over her mother's death, bc she sees a ruthless quality in her... srsly cait's arc is insane rn

[mclwcc]

and in light of fun stuff i'd love to hear your thoughts on, saw a post a while back that got me thinking and basically reached the conclusion that carlos and lando's personalities complimented each other perfectly, which in a way brought out the best in both of them, while lando and daniel have very clashing personalities (not that they didn't get along eventually, just very different). meanwhile lando and oscar's personalities just like. match.

seen people say lando is to oscar what carlos was to him and in a way, yes (oscar clearly does look up to lando a bit and lando took the brunt of the media stuff in the beginning to make him more comfortable), but i also think there is a pretty big difference there. landoscar just feel very aligned to me idk. would like to hear what your opinions are :) think you always have good takes

so i left this for a couple days bc its literally been slow cooking in my brain like a stew... thinking abt this so much. u bring such a good point abt the difference between complementing and aligning / matching...

i often find it rly fun to look at friendships and relationships thru the lens of sibling dynamics - its my own personal brand of astrology or ig personality typology that im addicted to. and w carlos and lando i think the reason they 'complemented' each other so well was bc they very easily fell into an older-younger sibling dynamic - both r middle children, and idk the exact numbers but carlos should probably be around oli's age (landos older brother, who lando's rly close to, arguably the closest of all his siblings - not only did they used to travel for karting competitions back in the day, but nowadays they share a core friend group and go on holiday together, which is cute). so like, lando as a 19 year old rookie, shy but full of energy, is in the perfect position to be lightly bullied, shown the ropes, taught random shit, be shoved into walls, etc by someone who likes to play within that older brother role

so you have that first of all, which already creates some familiarity for lando (who otherwise is quite slow to thaw out of keeping ppl at arms length), and also the fact that they got along w each other quite easily. i dont think theyre that similar (again, complement, not match, its so brilliant), but theyre both entertained by quite simple things, which is y their humour tended to be so lowest-common-denominator: words that sound funny, hitting each other in the balls, dirty jokes, etc. i think where they DO find similarities is when theyre serious - they both have a very head-down team-first sort of attitude (which i think rly solidified in lando BC of carlos), so their trust in each other in terms of that helped make their more personal friendship rly straightforward and natural

daniel meanwhile... where do i start. i spent two years losing my mind in dms over the glorious trainwreck awkwardness that is dando and their interactions. i still cant QUITE parse it but its so good. u have lando whos used to having quite a reactive/passive friendship with carlos, suddenly putting his feet on the ground and his shackles up bc he stopped liking the directions he was being pushed in w daniel. i think daniel deffo is a big, domineering personality, naturally kind of selfish (youngest sibling AND im pretty sure the only boy) (im not judging him im also the youngest i can reclaim), and to keep it concise i think it kind of gave lando the ick.

lando is a very judgemental person, and his humour is quite specific - he'll laugh at the dumbest things ever, like the word 'blowy' or 'pubes' or jokes abt girls running away from him, AND also rly subtle sarcasm that takes a lot of context clues. but he just cannot operate within the middle ground: the typical snl-style (american type) classic humour. he just doesnt get it. when ppl try to do it with him u get things like 'lando i hope you're sitting down... you're p2' 'i don't know why will said that, i'm literally strapped to my seat' and 'throwback thursday' 'it's funny cos it's friday'. he sucks at metaphors and doesnt have patience to wait for punchlines, so the fact that daniel is kind of like universally 'classically' funny actually worked against him - especially bc daniel was fuelled w the confidence that lando liked him and found him hilarious

so thats actually the other thing - is daniels incapability of actually listening to lando. again, we kind of start from the standard of the carlos relationship, with lando as the reactor, but carlos was always rly attentive towards lando. and then daniel comes in - u have lando like a dog who figured out ur trying to exit the park and has suddenly refused to keep walking along, and daniel holding an endlessly extendable leash, whistling a little tune, completely oblivious that his dog is still like three streets down. lando was throwing him jab after jab after joke after joke for like the entirety of 2021 ('they just dig up jam' forever my favourite), but they would just fly over daniels head, making lando become more and more detached and disinterested in interactions w daniel. waaaay into their partnership as teammates, theres this video of lando telling daniel that theyre serving cookies (?) somewhere, and daniel says 'so you got a brownie?' and i think lando says smth like 'nah a cookie, not a brownie, otherwise i wouldve said brownies', to which daniel is like 'i respect that, you're finally dishing it back'. and i rmbr my reaction was like FINALLY ? WYM FINALLY?? hes BEEN doing this for SO LONG like ALL THE TIME now.

idk, its weird bc opinions r rly split on dando, some ppl in yt comments or reddit or whatever still say they were the funniest duo in f1, but other ppl will always pipe up saying the energy was awkward and it was clear they didnt like each other. neither of those things r true for me - i think they did like each other, especially later on (professionally, i think lando definitely had a lot of anxieties abt having to outperform the big new top dog in the team, which made him a bit colder, but i think he gained a lot of respect for daniel when he saw how much daniel was struggling but how much he was still willing to show up and do the whole job until the end w a smile on his face). i have a suspicion they probably get along way better 1 on 1, bc a lot of daniel's off-putting intensity happens when he tries to play up for the cameras. but i am also partly thankful for that too, bc we had a couple art challenges in 2021-2022 where daniel did all the talking, so lando could focus on having fun with his Little Tasks, and thats literally my fav type of mclaren video, so cheers danny.

so then we get to oscar. i think the main difference with oscar is that, for the first time, lando doesnt have a bigger personality imposing itself on him. if he used to b reactive with carlos and daniel, oscar is way more laid back and passive than him, which means lando is finally for the first time the one setting the pace. especially in the early days, this was obvious - lando would throw out the beginning of a bad joke, expecting to be interrupted or one-upped, but oscar would just sit there quietly creature-staring, waiting for lando to finish his train of thought. it was so awkwardly delightful. so what u get now is that lando isnt playing catch up anymore - which doesnt mean hes making oscar do it now. on the contrary, what ive found is that lando brings his personality to oscar-volume, which sounds like it would be dull but it so isnt. again, he thrives in quiet subtlety, and so does oscar, so u get videos like the finish the lyrics where u have to turn the volume all the way up to even hear what theyre saying, but its so worth it bc its SO fun once u do.

in terms of matching, theyre definitely quite similar in terms of humour. both of them love the awkward pauses and jim halpert looking into the camera and eye rolls and deadpan. it took a while to find their rhythm w two of them playing the same joke-role and not having a straight man (comedy term!!) to bounce off of, but i think they figured it out. theyre different enough in terms of family dynamics (oscar is an eldest brother w many sisters, but also younger than lando) that neither of them would fit a pre-made space, so they can just kinda be on equal level to each other. this is especially true since theyve grown up in the same circles - never raced each other directly, but lando moved up categories rly fast, which means oscar spent his late teens mostly racing ppl lando was racing in karting and early single seaters. (most significantly, max fewtrell, who oscar used to b in the junior renault academy with, and who i think is kind of a good representation of what lando and oscar have in common - lowkey, sarcastic, deadpan, but also not taking himself too seriously)

to come back to what u said abt oscar-lando being inverse lando-carlos: i also see it to some extent, like u said (theres those tiktok edit parallels like lando telling oscar to cut his hair the way carlos said it to him in 2019). i think its mostly something lando himself is conscious of and sort of imposes on himself - he often compares oscar's personal trajectory to his, like when he says oscar will open up and be less quiet once he gets comfortable (which was true), so i think hes deffo aware of the comparison. but i dont think it runs any deeper than that, bc i havent seen lando position himself as the same kind of mentor-guru in-the-know older figure. i just dont think his personality can mould to that

idk sorry for this novel size answer. i have even more thoughts abt oscar and lando that im currently trying to shove into a fic so like. all of this has been floating in my brain for ages now

[slaaverin]

hi so just wanted to share smthing idk if you have been following the blue moon tarot blog/website for long but i got into in 2021, ruined my peace of mind, bc the relationship of jm with himself and esp with jk seemed so toxic, so i just stopped reading or idk believing it on some level too. bc i remember once reading that jm literally saw jk as a replacement of his own brother in the start and so people shipping them is sooo wierd. then he always sort of uses and takes (energy?) from jk rather than giving anything back. like jk is progressing but jm is always for some reason going down or afraid all the time when i read any of his readings done by her (again not coming at her she always seemed to be a great positive eprson when ever i read her blogs, just from what i got of jm from her readings thats all nothing more) and idk it just made me a bit frustrated too bc he is so wrapped up in his fears, that any hope for progress for him seems hopeless honestly with how every fruther reading, jm somehow always seemed to drag himself down, get caught up in his feelings, esp drag jk down to his troubles after having a toxic relationship - like i remember one years ago in one of the reading it was said how jm sort of doesnt let jk grow up in his eyes and jk pretends he hasnt grown up too to have the relationship or so that jm doenst lose his balance that he had at that time, basically self sacrificing honestly and made it seem all the more toxic and not at all healthy. (so i sort of agree with anon that says it all seems sad rather than good, bc one thing i noticed is over teh years jm has a lot of potential to be great and amazing but he is so caught up in himself/fears/all the wierd stuff that he doesnt let himself be, like everything points to be negative with him and his future all the time.

i mean on the surface it seemed he is totally at peace from the clips in teh past two years esp with his music (which was honestly decent though the whole album never clicked with me, but again its his album his songs so i appreciate all of them regardless) like he is working on himself his vocals his music and his growth but tbh it never seems enough as per his tarot readings or the fact that he always is in that confusing dark place (bluemoon blog once stated its like jm is in this dark chaos place where he goes back to his tendencies and doesnt want to seem to get out of it ages ago tho, like its being back and forth, and jk honestly is in a good place at the top of the hill, who for some reason keeps coming back to help)- again toxic as fuck. and also said how they are planning to help eo out, i wld like to believe he more at peace with himself but idk it always seems tumultuous and toxic.

Sry I know this got so long but idk I had this in my head for so long during my early army days when I saw tarot reading, and somehow your blog is the only one where i have even seen anything reagrding tarot readinsg that were done, so just wanted to see if mayeb you have any thoughts about it. and again, blue moon website, whoever she is, is really cool and amazing; none of this was in any way meant to be hurtful or mean or anything, really, just what I got or interpreted from your readings and conclusions, really nothing else. Thank you!

Hello!

Thank you for reaching out anon and sharing your thoughts.

I have been following bluemoonpunch's readings since 2019, a while I don't have every single details in mind still, I can only offer my own interpretation.

Jimin has a damn difficult place in the soul body (heart chakra) and while they separated energetically he had a hard time with it. He was always the one to take care of the others, and while figuring out who he was and what's his new place/direction was, I think he needed some support, that's also why JK showed up in his reading (a little place where they met).

According to the readings, Jimin had a cycle where he would retreat, and JK left him alone during that time only being there for him if he needed. In a way he had ups and downs, like everybody. We could see that Jimin in the past would easily doubt himself, that we know.

But to me anon in these readings nothing ever told me jikook's relationship is toxic at all. It's only a deep and complex and ever evolving relationship like any other. Of course it cannot be all rainbows and unicorns.

Jimin literally saw Jungkook grow, he watched him in real time become a man. If they are indeed romantically involved then his view of Jungkook must have evolved over time. We all know Jimin had a crush on Jungkook from the very start. But at that time Jimin saw him still like someone he had to take care of (like the rest of the group) because Jungkook was so young and not yet mature. But with time Jungkook grew within himself and became who he is today, someone who does take care of Jimin when he needs it too. I think that is normal and a sign of healthy relationship, that they can BOTH rely on each other now.

Of course I feel between the two Jimin is the one more careful, and maybe the one more "down to earth" about all the things that could go wrong. But nothing in this screams toxic, he is only pragmatic because he cares about Jungkook and what could potentially happen to him.

Jungkook is more carefree and open. This man is time and time again reinforcing his love and full devotion to Jimin.

Maybe like the readings say Jimin still has fears but honestly who could blame him?

They are in an impossible, potentially very dangerous situation! With his role of caretaker of course he feels most responsible and worried.

The things you saw that sounded toxic to you, to me is normal in any part of any relationship. People are never perfect, they have flaws, a particular way of their psyche to function, feelings to deal with. What we could see from them since 2013 never came accross as toxic to me, quite the contrary. Of course I don't doubt behind the scenes it's not always perfect, people fight sometimes, people have doubts, fears, sadness, insecurities, but it doesn't mean their relationship isn't healthy. It just means they are humans.

They've been together for a long time, it's normal for the relationship and perspectives to evolve.

Personally the last reading confirmed everything I ever thought about them.

The fact that their potential is to be like a perfect balance of feminine and masculine, like some kind of cosmic couple, it makes so much sense. They always have balanced each other. When they are together they just fit perfectly, they are in sync, they just click.

I will even offer my interpetation of their relationship expanding on the readings, I think jikook are supposed to embody the energy of a cosmic couple as blue said, because I personally feel that is part of their mission.

What they have is a perfect example of what unconditional love means. It is the perfect balance. In a way what they have is not even about them at all! Their relationship is more a display of a concept of unconditional love, some kind of roadmap to show to people and to tell them "see, it's possible, a love like this exist, people with that much light exist, see this example, get inspired by it, grow your light and your love and you may be able to experience it someday".

Images and sounds, basically anything is a frequency. When we watch jikook's relationship, we can feel the frequency of their love, we literally receive unconditional love from them. It opens up our own heart, raising our own frequency. So it's part of their mission of raising the consciousness of the planet, having this relationship. I feel it's part of a way bigger plan.

People will either embrace it or reject it completely. Usually people with a too low frequency will reject it because they cannot stand too much light.

People who receive too much light will have to process their low frequency energy so everything has to come up from the surface which is a pretty painful process so they might choose to not take at all. Which is why so many people reject jikook's bond, because if they accepted the frequency is would make them feel very uncomfortable stuff first and it's not a match to them (It is not always a conscious choice).

People with low frequency rather stay in a state of "illusion" because low frequency is literally nothing but illusion by nature.

I went on a tangent here but what I mean to say is that jikook's relationship has never been more exciting that today (after so many years! Who would have thought they would commit to each other again with military?) So I cannot wait to see how it all evolves from now on, what this potential future as a cosmic couple will look like (can it be even better than now? I can't imagine).

Ease your mind anon, jikook are in a good place. There is nothing to worry about. Let's all enjoy the travel show 💜

Thanks you again for sharing your thoughts I know mine are all over the place because I am not used to answer asks yet so I'm sorry about that! If nothing bluemoonpunch's readings always reassured me more than anything else, especially the last one!

Take care 🥰