#shakira shakira writes

[shakirawastaken]

dsmp if... you were a romance trope

i got inspiration (sapnap, dream, george, karl, quackiy, wilbur) 

sapnap (hockey x figure skater): - im in the middle of heartbreaker rn and SHUT UP - i LOVE THIS TROPE - IM NOT EVEN A FIGURE SKATER I DO TAEKWONDO BUT I STILL FROTH OVER THIS SHIT - and then in addition to that one tommyinnit is a figure skater and everyone else is on a hockey team “ice these hurts” or smt h like that - i love this trope. - anyway i think that this trope comes hand in hand with enemies to lovers - his hockey team and ur figure skating group are at the same winter sports competiton - and you have to share a rink - booooo - so everyday you end practice with the sight of a bunch of hockey buffs roughhousing in the stands, waiting for you to finish - and everyday a certain brunette one sneers and smirks at you as you walk off the ice - “had a nice practice ice queen/king?” he asks you teasingly - “shut up, yeti” you mutter back gratingly as you bump your shoulder into his build as you pass him - and he comes up with a new one everyday - and you quip right back at him, unphased - one day, he comes into practice early just to spite you - what he wasn’t expecting is to see how good you actually were on the ice - he sat there like “ :O” and just watche dyou glide across the ice with what seemed like barely any effort - and he watched how passionate you were in your craft and the dance - and bro was whipped right then and there - so that day as you were leaving he said “you were amazing out there” and it took u jumpscared - you were like “no insult today?” - and he was like “dang, didnt know u liked them that much ;) but not today, not for something as beautiful as that” - and i think you can guess where it went from there... :)

 dream (ceo and employee romance):  - AKAIAKAKAHAKH TELL ME YOU SEE THE VISION - i mean hes a ceo alr so its like one step in the door you know - anyway hes a ceo - bro wears those fancy ass suits everyday and has like a wine cellar mini fridge shit thing in his office  - any way you pull up to his headquarters one day for like an interview and you were so fucking nervous  - you ran into him in the elevator (and no clue who he was) - and you basically vented to him for the 30 second elevator ride before scurrying off to your interview - bro didnt even get dreams name or anything - he kinda just smiled and wished you well as you ran away  - he thought you were so cute  - and you thought dude was hot as fuck  - anyway you got the JOB!! LETS GOO - the next day, your supervisor is like taking u around showing u the works - ....and you meet the ceo - its dream - and youre like :0 and he’s like  *smirk wink* ;) “hey” - and youre like “well fuck hes the ceo i cant be in love with him” - and you avoid him - but he makes it his life’s mission to get on ur radar - in the break room, in ur cubicle, in the cafeteria, in the parking lot man is ON YOU LIKE A MOTH TO A LIGHT - eventually he convinces you to go to fancy dinner - and WOW hes paying?? so that shit was FIREEEE - fancy wagyu steak and 102379182 year old wine i mean cmon - it was good ok - he asks you out after dinner and assures u ur job wont be at risk and everything - ba da bing ba da boom  - now youre dating happily and he spoils the FUCK outta you  - lmk if you want this one as a big fic with dialogue

george (neighbors): - tell me why whenever i have my delulu daydreams with george he’s always a neighbor - very much boy next door vibes - omg HES YOUR COLLEGE ROOMMATE NEXT DOOR - stoppppp - on move in day he pulls up with his family and u with urs and youre like - “hi ! nice to meet you im so exicted to move in!” and bros like “same!” - sometimes hes loud bc hes talking to his friends but you dont mind - hes a cs major and ur  whatever u want major - one day you decided to start singing  rlly loud while cleaning - ur singing taylor swift - and then george could hear you from the room next door to yours - so he writes up a little post it note that was like “loved the concert! when’s the next one?” and stuck in on your door - you found it and started mad blushign - you had a crush on him since day one awwww - anyways you two started communicating via post it notes and songs played loudly through the walls <3 - till one day you hear boyfriend by big time rush - and then you play girlfriend by avril lavigne back - and then he slips you a post it note under the door and you open the door before you could read it  - and its an unspoken like thing that you start dating - its so romantic how you can saw you guys starting dating because of taylor swift !!

quackity (academic rivals): - DO NOT GET ME STARTED ON THIS TROPE IT BRINGS ME LIFE ALRIGHT - alright - two law school students FIGHTING IT OUT ACADEMICALLY - you guys met in ur freshman year english class or some shit - clashed together in a discussion group - and its been game on since then - your texts with each other are flaunting texts - “hey alex, guess who got a 97 on the last midterm?” - “guess who got a 99 ;)” - over time, the texts started getting more and more hostile - people started to thing you two actually hated one another’s guts  - but in reality it was more for the thrill - but this continued throughout your law school careers - and you both become successful lawyers in the end!! - and when the headmaster calls you both into his office and says - “youre both valedictorian! congrats! you have to give a speech together” - well its like all the hatred faded away - you grinned and cheezed at each other before giving each other the biggest hug ever - so you both wrote a speech together - and soon the day of graduation came - and q goes at the end “i wouldn’t be here without the person who motivated me through it all, so thank you (y/n)” and youre like “hey man *sob* wtf *sob” - and you kiss him on the cheek and cheer to all the graduates  - after the ceremony he catches up to you in the parking lot, grabbing your wrist before you could go off with ur family - and blurts out word soup - and ur like what - and hes like “i really like you, and law school wouldn’t have been the same without you. can we be more than friends?” - and youre like “duhhh” and kiss him right there karl (best friends to lovers): - YOU ARE IN LOVE BY TAYLOR SWIFT  - that is the song for this SCENARIO - you two met when you were little kids in like first grade - your friends werent there on that day so you hung out with each other - hooked to the other since then and there - it was always “karl and you” and “you and karl” - you came as a packaged deal - through ups and downs you were there together - you graduated high school together and were going to the same college together now - while karl barely got into any romantic relationships, you seemed to be going through a few of them  - you were desperate for a love connection and honestly i aint blaming u - one day after a horrible date he came over to your dorm and u had an impromptu sleepover - you were in karls old shirt and some pajama pants and he was in his pajamas - and you two were just watching a movie together - before he turns to you abruptly, and you turn to look at him - and he’s like “you’re my best friend”  - and you saw a switch flip in him - since then, the dynamic between you two changed (for the better) - you became more flirty more touchy  - you started to act like you were a couple more and more - one day you saw him open his wallet to pull out his card  - and u saw that he has a picture of the two of you in his wallet - and then you knew that he was it for you - you ask him out that night - and hes so happy hes picking you up and spinning you around - <3 wilbur (musician x fan trope): - okay this is inspired by those tik toks that are like “did you see the way he looked at me” and its harry styles staring and eyeing down a fan in the audience like YES - and he’s a musician so it fits! - imagine lovejoy is like a HUGE HUGE Band so maybe this is in the future - anyways you and ur friend go to a lovejoy concert - for the sake of the story, youre not that big a fan of lovejoy just familiar with hits like sex sells and one day - the whole time ur friend is like “theyre so good hes so good its all so good” - you two end up a few rows from barricade  - and you and ur friend start screaming it up as you should - youre not oblivious to the way the lead singer keeps looking over in your direction, winking and smiling - imagine a sweaty, singing wilbur glancing over at you during sex sells and giving you a smile as he rasps out “you know sex sells i know that” - brb ascending to heaven - anyway a time comes when he stops to speak to the audience - he wastes no time - he struts over to your side of the stage and points at you  - “what’s your name?” - and you scream it at him - “what a lovely name!” - the crowd cheers - “ahre you single?” he asks with a grin on his face - the grin grows when u nod at him - “give me ur number!?” he asks and you nod at him as ur friend is dying next to you - he gestures u and ur friend to the front of the stage by the barricade  - and he passes you a marker and make syou WRITE YOUR NUMBER ON HIS GUITAR OR HIS SHIRT OR SOMETHING - oh yeahh go you go you thank yoU! let me know if you want any of these to become a bigger story/imagine and LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT A PART 2 WITH OTHER PEOPLE :D reblogs appreciated

[steviesbicrisis]

*corroded flowers universe*

Steve: babe quick, Ferrari or twingo?

Eddie:…?? Ferrari I Guess

Steve: perfect. Rolex or Casio?

Eddie: Rolex… wait, is this for a gift?

Steve: of course not. Now, team Shakira or team Pique?

Eddie: Shakira, what the fuck is a Pique?

Steve: I’ve never been more attracted to you.

[ginachindavis]

a coming of age novel for twentysomethings...

hey kids! do you like coming of age novels...about adults? 

my novel, True Rock, is currently available on AO3 for your reading pleasure.

I’ve posted Chapters 1-12 so far and updating with a new chapter every weds. 

here’s what the story is about: 

Heather Fellaway never got to be a kid. Matthew Yin never got over his childhood. Tom Beckett never grew up.

Now, in their mid-twenties, Heather, Matthew and Tom lead not-so-satisfying adult lives as teachers (and friends) at Alameda Senior High School. That is, until Tom hatches the so-ridiculous-it-might-just-be-brilliant idea of starting a rock band.

But there's a catch: none of them know how to be rock stars...or even musicians for that matter. And a blossoming love triangle between Tom, Heather and the Perfect Guy (TM) threatens to derail their musical dreams altogether.

With themes of multicultural identity, overcoming the past and an enduring love for the music of Queen & Shakira (forever), True Rock is a heartfelt coming of age story for grown-ups...with a rock and roll twist.

so do ya girl a solid and take a read! maybe even like and follow and stuff if you’re so inclined. go on! ;)

[alexsiple]

hellooooo this month's substack is up. read it here! it's about marina and the diamonds' the family jewels! thx for reading.

[estefanyailen]

"Aunque parezcas despistado con ese caminar pausado, conozco la razón que hace doler tu corazón"

- Shakira.

[scarefox]

hate how people even lost to see nuances between perfectly good and horribly bad...

as if this can not be a spectrum... and everything that isn't perfectly good therefore has to be horribly bad

but with that you snuff everything that is 'just' good or ok and could even have the potential to become better

what happened in our society that it is suddenly ok to bully and trash talk everyone and everything who isn't 100% perfect in what they try to do and improve in???

unperfection has the potential to even have an unique charm, expression and style that wouldn't be there if it was perfect

like i always have to think about that a vocal teacher told Shakira that she sounds like a sheep but her unique voice is what made her fame

writing this as a perfectionist (towards myself) is a bit ironic tho

but one reason why, for example, i like James drawings is because it is not perfect but has his unique expressions and reminds me that you do not have to be perfect to do art. i even learned that in design school but my perfectionist brain forgets that about myself and I try to fix that. but then seeing everyone bashing on things that aren't up to a certain standard hurts again...

[swaggypsyduck]

imma need yall football editors to make more ramos edits w shakira's song.

[thesinglesjukebox]

SHAKIRA AND CARDI B - PUNTERÍA

Shakira makes comments about Barbie, we make comments about Shakira... Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie you have 24 hours to release a statement about us to complete the circle...

[5.62]

Harlan Talib Ockey: “Puntería” is a no-thoughts-head-empty ode to sex. Without context, it’s fun, but it’s hard to forget that it just doesn’t have anything like the righteous fury of “Bzrp Music Sessions” or the caustic groove of “Te Felicito.” Cardi puts in an MVP performance, breezily singing a third of the song herself, and it’s ultimately their chemistry that makes this worth it. [5]

Claire Biddles: This only really livens up when Shakira and Cardi sound like they're in the same room -- I'd love to hear a song where they're riffing off each other the whole way through. [5]

Leah Isobel: Something about this brings out my cynicism. None of it is bad, and some of it is quite good -- Shakira singing about her G-spot, for instance. I like the trancey "Realiti" synth in the chorus, too. But mostly when I hear this I hear an attempt to recreate "Kiss Me More," and I'm a little Kiss Me Bored. [5]

Dave Moore: It didn't seem like rocket science to just give Shakira more of the sound she perfected on her Bzrp Music Session (check), then make a mini-album out of it (check) and tack on all the great stuff she put out in the last year or so to fill out the runtime (check). But I would not have guessed the secret weapon on this particular song would be Cardi B taking to the proceedings so naturally that you start to lose track of who's singing when they start passing melody lines back and forth in the second half. So now I also want Cardi B to make a Shakira album. [8]

Will Adams: Neither disappointing nor surprising that Shaki would follow up an international smash with a redux that sands off its predecessor's edges for the palatable lite-disco of "Say So" or "Lottery" or "Kiss Me More" or (or or or or). The real crime is for a duo of performers as vibrant and charismatic as Shakira and Cardi to sound this boring. [4]

Isabel Cole: Two stars known for more dramatic modes turn up the sweetness for a frothy little bauble, like the aural equivalent of girls' night. No one sounds like they're working very hard, in a good way; they're having fun, and so am I! [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: "Say So"ification comes for even our most charismatic pop stars -- lite retro production, indistinctly horny sentiments, a vague malaise creeping up even as the beat loops jauntily. It's not bad per se -- I will hear this at parties for the next six months and bop my head along without a second of regret tied directly to the song -- but I can't help but feel like there ought to be something more; I'd rather have an ambitious failure of a crossover track (remember the Shakira-Rihanna Ska Explosion?) than a distinctly unmemorable set of pleasantries. [6]

TA Inskeep: A mildly sexy empty-calories jam that I can't remember I heard five minutes later. [6]

Nortey Dowuona: David Stewart, who is possibly a millionaire from producing a BTS song you don't know (unless you are hardcore ARMY or a person who listens to a radio station) has now created another song for Shakira you won't remember after this year (unless you are a hardcore Cardi B fan or a person who listens to a radio station). Will this one make him a billionaire? Find out on: BIG, MEGA, FORGETTABLE, RADIO SMASHER. Hosted by Cardi B. [4]

Ian Mathers: Cardi B singing in Spanish is surprisingly close to Shakira here, when she just takes a chorus near the end if I hadn't been watching the video I might not have noticed the switch until she mentions her own name. Which is not a criticism! I wish I could fit in on a Shakira song, especially a decent one like this, so neatly.  [7]

Alfred Soto: I hear voices like theirs at checkout lines and on FaceTime chats: two distinctly Hispanic lilts crashing against each other like sea spray against rock. Listening to each other is besides the point. "Puntería" reminds me of those exchanges. Pure idiomatic expression for expression's sake, it puts an arm around the listener then ignores her. [6]

Kayla Beardslee: Apparently scientists still have not found a cure to the "Say So" substitutes epidemic since I last did this bit two months ago. Everyone, our time on this planet as a species is finite: it's up to us to band together and figure out how to de-chintz the pop girl singles before it's too late. “Puntería” is an extremely average addition to the "Say So" imitators’ shelf, but having Shakira on a track will always be worth an extra point. At least I learned a new Spanish word! [6]

Katherine St. Asaph: EDITOR'S NOTE: Due to an oversight in the selection process, we have covered "Not My Fault" twice. We regret the error. [4]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[gux-martinex]

#Shakira

Eres arte 🌺

Eres grande 🇨🇴

Eres un diamante 💎

[assless-chapstick]

so until a couple weeks ago I had never seen the hit 2000s television show Glee but I started watching it recently and it's just fuckin Im obsessed and idk why it's so fuckin stupid

and now imagine what if it was glee but it was fuckin Red Dead Gleedemption

but it's not a highschool au they're just themselves, they're just cowboys that sing showtunes and how fuckin gd funny that would be like fuckin

dutch is the coach obvi and he's always deciding who sings what and when and who duets with who and who gets solos and like mARSTON AGAIN?? REALLY COACH HE CAN'T EVEN CARRY A TUNE IN A BUCKET I SWEAR TO GOD

and then Arthur gets to sing I'm at a pay phone Dutchy just phone home all of the time you spent on plans

AND IMAGINE THEY DO CHOREO

unfortunately I can't think of a single popular song to riff off rn I don't listen to the gosh dang radio no more idk what's popular except for what's blowing up on Tiktok

[shakirawastaken]

dsmp if....they fell in love with you at first sight

lowkey this sucks im so sorry but number 6 has been written  dream:

- this happened before he face revealed - so he went out to the grocery store or smth with a mask and sunglasses so if anyone recognized him they wouldn't like see what he looked like - pulled a ranboo fr - anyway he entered the cat food aisle looking for the best cat food for patches our beloved - and was so enthralled in the cat food that he didn't hear you walk by with your cart trying to get past the aisle - "excuse me sir can u please move???" "*is looking at cat food*" "sir?" "OH IM SO SORRY" - moves immediately but not before he makes eye contact with you through the glasses - his eyes widen comically, he thinks ur gorgeous - takes advantage of that fact that you cant see his eyes and continue to admire your face as you laugh and wave ur wrist in the air, swatting away the awkward interaction just like that - you walk away and he forces his mind to go back to the cat food - but god ur imprinted in his brain and he knows he cant just let you leave - so he grabs whatever cat food he sees and runs around the store looking for you - sees you leaving and went "NOPE" - in his head - RUNS to you but slows down before he gets to you so u don't fucking murder him - "hey uh" "oh hi!" "i thought you were really cute...and i couldn't just let u leave the store without tryna get ur number" "oh :) thanks! but idk what u look like.." "right" - whips that shit off in the middle of walmart mask off challenge succeed - ur face: :O - "yeah u can have my number" "LETS GO" - speedran that shit basically

sapnap: - met u in highschool me thinks - in the peak of his i play minecraft everyday era - just showed up at school to be there yk - and you were there but never really interacted with him - until one day you had to sit next to him in english class - life OVER for him tbh he made eye contact with you and nodded like an idiot as you introduced yourself - “wow ur pretty im nick” *facepalmed internally*  - youre like aw - u become friends - seating chart friendships and romances >>> - now he actually has a reson to go to school events like hoco and prom and stuff - “sorry dream ive got to to go homecoming” “motherfucker with who?” - you ask him to hoco as friends cause yk he hasnt been out much and he gratefully accepts - awkward dancing in the back - as the year progresses the two of you keep in contact even as you got moved apart in the class you sat next to - you met dream and george that was nice - prom came around and he new brother knew he had to do SOMETHING - so he made a prom posal that was like “will you be MINE(craft) at prom” or something like that  - and u were like “finally” - fast forward some years and ur doing whatever u want and hes doing what hes doing now - he never formally asked you out but its implied youve been dating for years - this one sucked mb

george: - god the british  - hate them/j - youre not british in this story okay  - and if ur british irl,,,im sorry for ur ailment/j - ANYWAY - youre a tourist ur visiting the good old u of k - ur in london obv - and george never leaves his flat there - except to get groceries - so he walks to the nearest grocery store bc he literally cant drive - and bumps into you its the classic omg so sorry i bumped into you romance - except he thought that was awkward and kinda went “sorry” looked down at the ground and sprinted forward - you were like “the british are.....odd”  - george then realized that was worse and turned around to apologize to you - and then fell in love with you - u were taking a picture on ur camera of just like the scenery of london - and we like “omg theyre cute and they appreciate the little things” - gets on discord and texts sapnap “im in love” and then sapnap goes “me too with ur mom” - logs off discord now - walks up to you sheepishly and was like “haha sorry for doing that it was a dare by my friend” and u were like “its ok:)” ad then hes like “yk what isnt a dare” and u were like “hmm what” and he was like “me asking for your number cause ur so cute” - and u were malfunctioning cause u didnt expect cute british man to ask you on a date while u were in the u of k - but u said yes and then he realized ur accent and was like “ar eyou not british” and u were like “no.” and he was like “thats okay! im skilled with long distance relationships ;)”  - unknowingly flirts with you  - you skull emojied and then joined him on his trip to the grocery store IDK this one was bad im sorry 

karl: - YOURE IN A MR BEAST CHALLENGE - oh oh OH the amount of things in my brain running through - anyway u were a subscriber of Mr jimmy beast so he was like "come be in a video" - its one of those last to leave the circle loses - each cast member is paired with a participant and whoever wins gets 50,000 and the cast member gets like 10,000 or smtn - and jimmy had them all pick a name out of a hat to make it simple - and karl didn't pick u - nolan did - but when they walked out to meet the participants and karl made eye contact with you for a split second - god he fell right there - couldn't help but imagine what loving you would be like - knew he wanted to experience that - but he couldn't do that if he wasn't even paired with you - so he BEGS nolan to switch - "dude please cmon" "what do i get out of it??" "if i win ill give you the money" "oh shit ok" - now he's paired with you HE MASTERMINDED THAT SHIT LIKE TAYLOR SWIFT - anyway you were like "shit he's cute ill win now" - ur dynamic is amazing jimmy loves it for the video - the whole time u both are playfully flirting and just being yourselves around each other its amazing - he tries to cheat to help you LOL but gets caught with a sheepish smile on his face - that's when u fall i swtg - anyway - the filming for the video goes for like 2 and a half days so you spend a lotttt of time with karl dearest - you lose in the end tho bc in ur sleep u accidentally kicked ur foot outside the circle - you're a bit defeated - after thanking u all jimmy sends you off - and u smile and thank him and karl and head off - but then you hear a "PIT PAT PIT PAT" of feet slapping concrete behind you - "wait can i have ur number? :)" "i thought you wouldn't ask :)" and u give him ur number number for number - jimmy mischievously smiles in the background before returning to his beast lair

quackity: - LAW SCHOOL LAW SCHOOL LAW SCHOOL YOU MET THERE STOP STOP STOP - stop college romances kill me for real - guys - k I'm good - met at orientation i feel - or not met - he laid eyes on you from across the room and he was like oh shoot this place is better than i thought it would be - LOL - runs across the whole room to snag the seat next to you - "hey I'm alex, whats your name?" "oh I'm y/n!" - bro squealed inside - "i like ur name!" "thanks :) urs is nice too" - u both talked for the rest of the welcome ceremony thing - compared schedules and had...nothing together for the first semester - thATS OK you still exchanged numbers - and you kept talking and hanging out even if u didn't have class - but as friends. - AAAAAAAAAAAAA you fell for him somewhere in the middle but both of you were like - we need to finish law school first in your heads - so u both skated on the line between romance and friends - like the song boyfriend by ariana grande - but when the end of law school was in sight? quackity didn’t waste a single second - BAM got ur number BAM took u on a date BAM yk 

wilbur: - fell in love with you at first sight except you didnt see him he just saw you - here’s the thing right hes the biggest hamilton fan - so when he went to see hamilton with tommy and all them - YOU WERE THERE you were in the cast you played angelica/eliza/peggy literally one of the three female main characters - ANYWAY you were screaming the lyrics to one of the songs and wilbur kinda just went “woah” - didnt see anyone else on the stage but you when you walked out  - tommy was like “did u see the bullet wil” and he wa slike “no” - forced tommy to stage door after the show - prayed to all the theater gods that you came outside  - when you did? game over for him - he stood there stawstruck awstruck jawstruck  - aND the same happened for you!!! bc u knew who he was ofc - u had a lovejoy poster in ur dressing room duh - so by the time you came round to him and tommy you were like “heheheh” and giggling “hi omg im a big fan of your music and stuff :)” and he was like “mIne?”  - his voice cracked - you giggled and you both took pictures with each other on your phones - then u invited him backstage  - and he wa slike LHJSKHFSDFKGHJERT - LEFT TOMMY AT STAGE DOOR - you showed him around including on stage - and this went on for a while hed just show up a stage door and youd let him in - one day you were both on the stage and he started humming helpless and you both started dancing - and then he was like “i rlly am helpless for you, id like to try and make this something more if ur up for it” - and you were like WOOOOOO yk 

[connecting-the-stars]

Me when I get bombarded with more ideas for future plot lines in the middle of writing the current plot line that I haven’t finished.

[topoet]

Shhh

Before Shakira burst out of the Columbian/Spanish market she released these CDs that broke down barriers: Pies Descalzos (1995), Dónde Están los Ladrones? (1998) – when I bought these I was merely adding them to my latino world music collection. The production was superb & she was clearly working on becoming the next Celine Dion – only with a lot more sexuality. Great music. Her English work…

[cvsseulgi]

imagine someone writing for you: “you’re a song written by the hands of god” and then “you own the place where all my thoughts go hiding”

and then imagine. imagine. someone writing to you detailing all manner of calamities and worse case scenarios, absolute desolation could suck all the pleasure out of living. the last poet could die, let every other person they know and love take off with bits and pieces of their humanity, their humility, all of that. yet. there would still be life left in them as long as you’re with them. IMAGINE

[estefanyailen]

"Todo va a pasar, pronto verás el sol brillar. Tú más que nadie, mereces ser feliz."

- Shakira.

[crakecrake]

#12 - This is the day and the time.

This is the day and the time. This is the day I decided to sit in front of my computer screen to write again. This is the time when I am not sure what the purpose of writing is. As I think of all the possible combinations of words I could write down, I recall the times I believed I saw your face. I am never sure if it is you whom I see. As years go by, I understand that my mind is not reliable at all. It forgets things. It refuses to learn what really matters, like learning how to play the harp, or how to DJ, or how to speak Portuguese fluently. Perhaps what I really want is to make the most of myself by abandoning the possessorship and achievement of things so that I could own myself, develop my own elements, and grow in my own form. To make my own music and hear it myself. Instead, my mind gets stuck on the idea of you, a fictional character who is not even close to what you really are but one that seems convenient to justify my existence in suffering. This is the time when tears impair my vision, distorting the frustrating reality of being one of the common people who look for reasons to live, as if life alone didn’t justify itself. This is the day when I forgive myself for being mixed up inside, unable to understand whether my apprehensiveness is genuine desire for you or simply inability to cope with your rejection. These are the times when I fear madness, when I feel ill, far from the ideal creature with easy and comfortable reasoning—far from the human being you’d give your love to. Far from the man you idealize and I’ll never become, whom I scorn with the arrogance that only those who suffer have. On days like these I seek help from the kind of men you’re into and I envy: beautiful and perfect—full of heroic simplicity.

The memory of your face is engraved into my psyche to the point of delusion. In the sleepless hours of the night, when I struggled to piece together your image in my mind, wearied by the futility of my efforts, you appeared to me as an elusive shadow—grand and shifting, both menacing and remote. Like a storm that stirs the ocean’s depths to reveal the hidden secrets beneath its surface, I could only ever summon you by unraveling myself, returning to the self I once was when I first saw you and constructed you in my mind. I subjected myself to endless self-reproach, loathed my own reflection, and, wounded and heartbroken, enshrined you with vivid intensity within the depths of my psyche.

This is the day and the time I’ve come to grasp a truth about those who chase intense sensations to confirm their own existence. I, too, embarked on this perilous journey, so meager against the vastness of our deepest fears, and nearly always disappointing. I learned to set my soul aflame, only to discover that, in the quiet depths of my being, I can remain ever vigilant and cool, merely a spectator to the grand spectacle I have conjured: you.

"I've cried a thousand storms, / I've blown away the clouds. / The heartbeat of the sun is racing mine, / and listen how my heart is waiting." I don’t know anything about love. This is the day and the time when I simply remember that I fear and seek you.