#idk it’s just so sad in a weird way. hard to know my other sister who talks to me even less than her

[gazeboarcade]

Ah…

[pushingdaisies1]

Kinda hate you, kinda love you . . . ♡

(✧ ˚.) PAIRING-> James "Logan" Howlett {A.K.A} Wolverine x Reader >_< (✧ ˚.) SUMMARY -> Being an X-men was a lot for you to sign up for. Well.. you didn't have a chance to deny this safe haven. The school became your home and the people that made up the X-men like a weird little familial unit. You had many reasons for staying as long as you did, but one was more prickly and jaded. The feelings you harbored for a stern and calloused Logan were.. weird for you to feel firsthand. One day, you are stuck overlooking a danger room drill between Gambit and Logan. With the new member of your world-saving team Jubilee by your side, it's too dull to NOT talk with each other. She was a good kid, hyperactive and spirited that's for sure. You talk, and talk a lot you do to the human embodiment of the fourth of July. It makes you think a little bit too hard about yours and Logans... predicament. (✧ ˚.) AUTHORS NOTE -> Hiii!!! This is my first time writing stuff for Logan so - bee tee dubs it may be complete and utter horse shit. I'd like to thank @velvrei for helping me ignite some well-dead thoughts. Genuinely love ur work sm and reading that and a lot more new/old logan content helped TONS. This is linked to the {♡x-men animated series/x-men97♡} series. I do wanna write more for the Deadpool timeline xmen/early 2000s timeline xmen!! But after seeing the masterpiece that is Deadpool and Wolverine, I lowkey just clung to those shows. I love animated Logan!! He is even more emotionally stunted/sassy sad!! (✧ ˚.) CWS (?) -> Logan nd u are sad ppl who don't know how to voice ur feelings!! , pining from afar/one-sided not so one-sided yearning, UHM HURT/KINDA COMFORT??? MAYBE??? I THINK??? , unprompted suggestiveness from logan , mentions of struggling to connect with other ppl/fears of the future (bay bay jubilee my love) , u and Jubilee just kinda bond, off topic idk cajun dialect so..... , and u infodump as a weird suto older sister/mom in her life, this was all very spur of the moment so uhm - not proofread!!! kinda!!!!!!!

The dangeroom was a room a lot of the X-men team spent their time in. To either train for a new threat or for general movement, drills were a common theme. Especially after world-shaking events, which were always somehow a constant, the professor was the equivalent of an alarm clock. Drills this, always having to run down into the war room. You didn't mind the training sessions if it was one-on-one or even with the whole team. Sometimes though, it was almost nagging. 

Though there were little things you'd do to pass this time. If you were made to overlook it or otherwise. Most of the time there didn't need to be supervision within the training center itself. Everyone was on high alert, and off days were few and far between. Logan had been hashing it out with Gambit all morning and wanted to do a specific procedure setting. You held your head in your hands as you sighed at the grown men's demands. Gambit was a professional sweet talker, Logan wasn't when needed. Of course, you complied, understanding the sudden want for more extensive training. When Jubilee volunteered you started to not loathe the idea of sitting in on Logan and Gambit - literally butting heads. 

Jubilee was a nice kid, you felt bad for her sudden entrance into life within the school. The professor was welcoming as always. With your push and her foster parents wanting her to be safe from threats like the sentinels, she was a bonified member.

Being the "newbie" always had its drawbacks. From day one you made sure to have her back, you could relate to her whole fish-out-of-water point of view. Logan saw the way you attached fast to the kid. He was like a vault of thoughts and feelings. Thoughts and feelings he never wanted to bring up or even let alone talk about. But it made your heart flutter just a tad when he sat his hand on your shoulder, gently rubbing a thumb against it.

He had stopped you before you were about to retire to your room. In the doorway to your personal, pillow escape he made sure to reel you down to earth. "Give the kid some breathing room. I know you want to help but there's no use for you smothering her."

You were almost baffled. What was he going on about? You were just looking out for her? Deep down, you did know what he meant. He might have not been a long-term X-Men member. But he did know you and the fragments of "memories" you held so dearly close to your chest. You two were so different and yet one in the same. Before you could even argue, he gave you a small .. somewhat comforting pat on said shoulder. "Just a friendly word of advice bub, don't take it so close to heart. Oh wait, that's inevitable." He joked at you with his signature toothy grin. You couldn't help but scoff in surprise and laughter as he jabbed at you with his SINGULAR witty remark.

Logan could be many things. Rough around the edges, even a total asshole when he felt like it. But to you, he was your kryptonite. It was pathetic the way you'd always eventually be pulled to bend at that man's every word. He just did that to you, and you had no answer to it. 

Making your way up to the upper room with Jubilee, you watched with tired eyes as the door to the observation room slid open. Cold - walls and floor head to toe with this sleek metal texture. There were two chairs, right behind the control panel where the training sequence(s) would be initiated. Your eyes were trained on the window as you watched Gambit and Logan make their entrance inside the training room itself. Gambit of course was rapidly shuffling a deck of cards. They were almost flying in the palms of his hands as he prepared them. Logan was of course blabbing his big mouth, in his signature suit "lumbering up" as he would call it. Finally, as you just now sat your bottom into the smooth-cushioned observation chairs, Jubilee was already starting the conversation. Thank god for you as you were still shaking the morning off of you."So what? , we just watch them throw around with each other, or what?" She cracked with a curious glance at the two men down below. You rested your chin in the palm of your hand as you leaned back. "Pretty much, we're here just in case the system doesn't shut down in time. Sometimes it does that."

She paused before she gave you a pointed look, her chunky pink sunglasses almost falling off of her black head of hair. "We're babysitting them!?" She retorted with a sort of faux annoyance. "I mean it's 'something' to do but - come on...." She groaned as she crossed her arms, heavy in on the air quotations. Cutting in, you directed your hand to the control panel. "No no no, not just that.”

Gathering your thoughts, you pointed out each scenario on the deck. You couldn't help but crack a smile at Jubilee's small "ohs" and "ah's". With the development, you two were brought into a nice steady stream of conversation. Hunched in her seat, yellow boots crinkling in this position, she poked and prodded you about your style and so on. it was nice to be looked at with such idealization. Her eyes were huge with wonder as she jumped to questions and searched for answers. Though it was only so nice until the two of you were interrupted by the impact of a card deck. As it smacked against the window, you pinched the bridge of your nose.

Hitting the intercom, you cleared your throat. "So sorry gentlemen! You two ready or what?" You retorted as you leaned over the panel. Gambit gathered back the cards into his hands. "Me? , 'course cher! Any day I would love to stick it to da fuzz ball over der." He remarked with a scheming smirk. Logan growled as his claws immediately sprouted from his knuckles. "I'll show you fuzz ball you pest." His lip curled up almost like a predator ready to pounce.

Jubilee sat back quiet as a mouse as she watched you talk through to the two. "Alrighty alright! Save the pouncing for later." You barked with a small chuckle at the end. You couldn't help but feel buzzy at the way Logan reared his head up. Gambit was too busy swapping cards from hand to hand. But all of Logan's attention was just on you, it was always just on you.

 "Okay, how are we feeling about the ruined city for today?" You asked the two as Gambit started to twirl a card in between his middle and pointer fingers. "Yes yes yes, dat will do just nicely, right Wolvie?" He asserted - training a hard on the hard-headed "foe." Logan's voice was low and gruff as he found his stance. "Don't get so ahead of yourself Gamby." He retorted as he turned back to you in the window. "Start it up doll, before this one here loses all of his spice." He barked with a laugh as Logan jostled his mask on. You rolled your eyes with a faint smile. "If you say so, bee-tee-dubs .. don't kill each other! Please and thank you." You affirmed as the array of buttons were clicked. As the scenery shifted into a torn-down cityscape, foes were already on the two men. The only fun thing about watching over the training sessions was getting to watch fellow X-Men in action. Just not with the risk of losing your life in the process. Leaning back into your chair, you took in a nice breath of air. Peace, for now at least. Jubilee sat up more straight, letting her bright yellow duster-like jacket collect at the sides of her chair. She brought her legs to her chest as both you and she watched Gambit and Logans fighting. You could feel her eyes wander to you in the quiet. You looked directly towards her, a sympathetic smile gracing your face. "How are you feeling?" Your voice was small but warm, comforting almost. This was the first time someone had even really asked her. "I don't know... it's like everything is just changing at once. I feel like a big Rubix cube." She said with a frown as she got more comfortable where she sat. You nodded your head in almost remembrance. "Trust me, becoming an X-men isn't the hardest part. It's living like one." Admitting with a soft sort of comfort, Jubilee was already warmer than before. The training session flew by as you two just talked and talked. She lamented about what life would be like now, what she would and wouldn't miss. How she was stripped of living like a normal teenager. "I mean everyone here has already been so nice to me, but this is just gonna take a lot of getting used to. ", she would lament to you in honesty. You tried to be as insightful as possible. Telling her that living as an X-men will always be tricky. But there will always be the people around here that'll keep you steady. Her ears perked up when you listed off your so-called "anchors." She immediately butted in after you listed off the Wolverine himself, Logan. "That guy? You two seem to be always at each other's throats?" She cracked at you with an inquisitive grin. "Well I mean yeah - he can be .. overly confident a lot of the time." You were almost reminding yourself. You didn't realize how long you spent talking about your scruffy metal-clawed 'friend.' You went on and on about how he combated with you in the best possible ways. How with his time in the X-Men, he opened up your worldview in many instances. He did so much to you and for you. He was almost like your escape in a way, and he maybe shared the same view. You didn't get into the nitty-gritty details of it, 'cause ew. But the moments away from daily life hecticness within the school you and he shared were your favorite. His arms were the sweetest embrace anyone could ask for. But that's what friends do, that's what friends are for.

 Though you always wondered if maybe you were wrong. Maybe you were holding on to nothing. Maybe there was an intimate connection between you two hiding under the surface. But you had a track record of getting your hopes up. You dashed those daydreams away as Jubilee yanked you back down into the now of things. Time flew by as the training sequence ended. Logan was immediately gloating his way out of the danger room. You and Jubilee met the two halfway. Gambit sang your high praises as he lamented about kicking Logan's ass in the drill. As the two grown men bickered Jubilee made her exit known. Since the professor was already summoning them all to the war room. Gambit waved you off with a small wink and another grand shuffle of his cards. Which just left you and logan ... fun. 

He quirked his brow in your direction as he realized your quiet demeanor. “Can you believe the guy? - come on bub you saw me!” He said in astonishment at Gambit's gambit tendencies. You crinkled your nose in a small giggle. If you were seeing straight, you couldn’t help but notice a small dash of a smile on Logan's face once he saw your mood brighten. His smile always found ways to make your knees weak and arms all jelly. “Yeah yeah, dont get your panties in a twist Lo.” You said with a twinkle in your eye. A grin followed spreading almost ear to ear.

His eyes softened ever so slightly with your jokes. He grumbled out his poorest joke yet. “Oh, I’ll show you.” He retorted before yanking you into him. Your back met his chest plate as you felt his collection of sweat. His muscled arms wrapped around your midsection as he whirled you around like a windmill. You ignited with laughter and “yucks” as you felt his sweat spreading onto you. You fought out his hold with a grimace and a sheepish chuckle, wiping your eye. “Christ man, you got all your .. muck on me!”

By now his claws were already dashed away. So his hands were now placed on his hips. He rolled his eyes as he looked you up and down. “Come on, you’ll live to see another day shrimpy.” He claimed with his eyes slowly wandering. “I look like a wet dog thanks to you.” You frowned jokingly, shaking your arms out. “On and on with you.” He remarked once again with his eyes rolling AGAIN soon after.

Closer and closer the two of you got as you both threw phony insults back and forth. Before your lips were inches away from one another. He drawled his quick mouth up and spat back something that would leave your mind in utter… shock. Was confusion the right word?  “Don’t play around with me, dimples. I know you’d like more than just my arms around you.” You quickly gasped out the pocket of air you were holding onto. A long pause was felt throughout the hall before you two darted in separate ways.

“I need to change!” You sheepishly shouted as you headed in the opposite direction of him. He did the same, mumbling whatever under his breath. “Don’t slip and fall!” He coughed out as you rubbed your face in annoyance. “Eat shit, Logan!” , “That’ll be a long time coming!” The both of you remarked to the other in unison. Both of your voices share the same sort of flustered frustration. You raced into the showers as you soon stumbled towards the sinks.

You splashed your face with cold water as your heart was still racing. Your cheeks were burning up let alone from his words. But you were soon able to catch up with your breath. Regaining your composure you looked yourself in the mirror. Gritting your teeth as you looked at the fool Logan made you. The Wolverine could be a hard-headed buffoon. Always on his way to making a snide insult with whichever X-men member was disagreeing with him. But god damn it was he your poison. You hated him and he hated you. That was the thing that kept you steady as you changed into uniform and raced towards the ongoing meeting. You knew that same smile still lingered on your face once you made your entrance into the war room. Able to brush off the team's sudden accusations as you made sure to remind everyone about the issue at hand. The Professor thanked you as he went back to discussing what new threats plagued human life. Your eyes always made their way back to Logans with small lingers. Making eye contact with you, his eye-line was diverted by you as you turned your attention back to the professor. The Wolverine was a fool, and he had already found purchase in your foolish heart. 

ꔫ✉ reblogs/interaction is appreciated <3 part two - ⭐️

[zxoaii]

Everyone but you

fem! reader x Mike Schmidt

Summary: Mike finally opens up about his soft spot for you.

WC: 4.8k

Warnings: NSFW 18+ (idk how to do this its smut)

A/N: I was already halfway through this when the votes tied for this and Peeta so let’s hope Peeta doesn’t surpass Mike

[ Y/n ]

“You know, you’re actually pretty weird.”

Mike looks up at me with an unamused look on his face. “I’m weird?” He takes a fry from my tray. I nod with my mouth full.

“I’ve never met a security guard who was as good looking as you.” My smile forces through mid-sentence. I can’t ever keep a straight face. Mike on the other hand can only keep a straight face.

He shakes his head at me and pulls his wallet out of his pocket. “Can you go get me some fries? Now I want some.” When he opens his wallet I catch a glimpse of a photo.

“Who’s that?” I reach out and grab his wallet. “That’s my sister, Abby.” He actually tells me. Mike omits most things about his life. “She’s cute. How old is she?”

The wallet is taken from my hands. “I’ll tell you if you go get me a large fry with some ketchup.” Our eyes meet for a moment. I’m the first to give in. His gaze always melts me.

“Fine.” I grab the five from his hand and get up from the table. As I make my way across the food court I glance at the clock on the wall.

Damn, I only have ten minutes left on my break. Sometimes I wish I had a reason to call security during my shift just so I could see Mike. He never really walks near the Victoria’s Secret.

I guess it’d be kind of weird if he lingered around it though…

“Hi. Can I just get a large fry please.” I look back at the table to check if Mike is still there. I’m not sure why I check like this when I leave. He always stays. And he always comes back too.

“Here.” The kid at the register hands me the receipt. “Thanks.” I take it and move off to the side to wait for the food.

Mike is a confusing guy. Most of the time I’m not actually sure if he likes me. He doesn’t smile or laugh. He doesn’t talk much either.

Maybe it’s obvious how smitten I am with him. I don’t think I could make it any more obvious. I drop hints for him like my life depends on it. He’s never really acknowledged or reciprocated any of them though.

“Large fry.” I grab the fries off the tray and a handful of ketchup packets. The crowds shift unpredictability. The food court is the worst part of the mall. Easily.

I shoulder my way through the crowd and weave through tables. “Here. Now, how old is she?” I drop into the seat and reach for the rest of my burger. “She’s six but she thinks she’s 16. That girl fights for independence like her life depends on it.”

Mike smiles a little as he talks about her. “You guys are close?” He doesn’t seem to mind talking about her. “Yeah.” Damn, I thought I’d get more than that.

“How much longer do we have?” Mike shovels his food. “Uhh… Five minutes.” A feeling of sadness actually washes over me.

“We should hang out after work.” That is the boldest I’ve been so far. It still doesn’t seem to faze him at all. “I can’t.” Mike takes one of my napkins to wipe ketchup off his face.

“Why?” The sting of rejection hits me hard. “I have to get Abby from school.” He looks back at the clock. “I can meet you somewhere after.”

“I don’t have anyone to watch her.” I’m taken aback by this comment. “What about your parents?” Maybe I’m prying too far now. “Look, if you want to do something you’ll have to come over to my place.”

Do something? I’d like to do a lot of something at his place. My stupid grin is too big to hide. “Yeah, that sounds good.”

Mike nods and puts his trash on my tray. “I’ll meet you here and give you my address later then.”

I pull my sun visor down and open the mirror. Hopefully I don’t look slutty. Sexy but not slutty. He has a little sister. Maybe she’s actually his daughter…

That’s a bit of a stretch.

I check the time and shut my sun visor. My heart pounds in my chest. This is actually happening. I’m outside Mike’s house. About to go inside.

I used my employee discount to get a new lingerie set just for tonight. Not that I’m expecting anything or something like that… Just in case.

Mike doesn’t even liked being touched. Maybe he doesn’t like sex either. No, that can’t be it. Who doesn’t like sex?

It’s already five past four and I told him I’d be here at four. I turn my car off and step out. The small house has some random toys littering the front yard.

I make my way up to the door and ring the doorbell. Anxiety and anticipation fill my stomach. The door opens and I’m met with the brunette from his wallet.


“Hi Y/n!” She greets me like she knows me. Mike rushes up and pushes Abby aside. “Go finish your dinner.” He mutters to her before turning to me.

We just stare at each other for a moment. Mike steps aside and I let myself in. “Take your shoes off.” Abby calls from the table.

I nod and discard my shoes by the door. There are three plates at the table. Oh god… He is her dad. Her mom is probably somewhere around here.

“I made you a plate.”

“What?” I turn to him, my cheeks heated with blush. “I didn’t know if you’d eaten yet so…” He gestures to the table. “No, I haven’t. Thanks.” I make my way to the table and sit across from Abby.

My plate is filled with mac and cheese and a hotdog. “Sorry… Abs requested this specifically. I would’ve made something nicer otherwise.” Mike sits down at the head of the table. “No, it’s better than what I would’ve had-”

“What were you going to have for dinner?” Abby pokes at her food with her fork. “Don’t interrupt.” She sends Mike an annoyed glance.

I shake my head and put my hands up. “She’s fine… I probably would’ve had some leftover takeout.” Abby nods and looks over to Mike.

I look over at him too, trying to understand what the exchange of glances means. Nothing is said or given away.

The two of them go back to eating like they had come to a silent agreement. I follow them and start eating the food on my plate.

“Y/n you’re really pretty. I hope I look like you when I grow up.” My face lights up. “Oh my god that’s so sweet. You’ll be prettier than me when you grow up. I’m sure of it.”

Abby turns to Mike again. I feel like I’m definitely missing something here.

The rest of dinner is filled with Abby talking about her day. She doesn’t mention friends. Or talking to anyone but her teachers. The only thing she really talks about is drawing. Mike looks at her like she’s the only thing in the world.

I wonder if he’s ever looked at me like that…

“Can I come with you to work on Saturday?” At this Mike actually rolls his eyes. “You know you can’t. I don’t want to do this tonight.” He takes her empty plate and goes into the kitchen.

Abby throws her head back and groans. I’m not working this Saturday. It would give me an excuse to see him… “I’m not working. I can watch her.” I blurt out.

Both of them stop and look at me. “Really?” Mike walks up behind Abby with his hands on his hips. God it shouldn’t be as sexy as it is. “Yeah, I don’t mind hanging out with you at the mall.”

Abby turns to face her brother. I can imagine the pleading look on her face. When Mike looks away with a sigh we both know his answer. I continue eating my food to avoid the annoyed look I’m being given.

I sit on the couch alone. The tv is on but my eyes linger on the hall. Mike went in to put Abby to sleep. I’m prepared for the lecture I’ll probably get when he joins me.

Hopefully he isn’t too mad about it though. When the door clicks closed I turn my attention to the tv. In my peripheral vision I can see him walk over to the couch.

“Want some popcorn?” He asks as he sits down on the other side of the couch. “No, thanks.” I look over at him. In his sweatpants and tee he looks like a fucking gift from god.

When Mike looks over at me I don’t bother to look away. Part of me wants to make a move. To finally find out if he wants me too.

“Y/n…” My stomach turns over as he says my name. “Yeah?” I find myself leaning in closer. “I… Abby can be a handful and I can’t pay you for watching her.”

My heart sinks in my chest. “Oh, that’s fine.” I slowly sink back away from him. The annoyance of this avoidance starts to build up inside me.

Does he want me? Does he not want me? Is it worth losing him as a friend if he doesn’t want me? What could happen if he says he does want me?

“Mike I’m interested in you.” I blurt out, not even looking at him. He turns to look at me. I avoid his eyes. The silence drags on for ages. With each passing second feelings threaten to burst out of me.

None of them good.

“I should go.” I quickly get up and head towards the door. As I pass him, Mike grabs my wrist. He stands up and tries to meet my eyes. I avoid him still. Tears threaten to fall.

I don’t need the rejection to be said. His silence was loud enough.

“Please. You don’t have to do this. It was stupid, if I’ve learned anything about you it’s that you hate everyone but your sister. That’s fine. I’ll watch her and-”

“Hate you? I don’t hate anything about you.”

At this point I’m so overwhelmed with contradictory feelings the only feeling that I can clearly feel is nausea.

“What?” Finally I look at him. My breath gets stuck in my chest. “I don’t hate anything about you.” He repeats. “You… Are everything. When I’m alone you are all I can think about. All I can want.”

I exhale a shaky breath. “You do things to me that drive me insane. You have had me since the moment I laid eyes on you.”

I’m left completely speechless. The only thing that makes sense is to pull him closer. I wrap my arms around his neck and smash my lips onto his.

Mike drops his hands to my hips. He pulls me in closer so our bodies are pressed against each other. Our kiss is lustful and desperate. Neither of us can get enough of each other.

We stumble around for a moment until my back hits the wall. His taste is intoxicating. Mike moves down to kiss my neck. I take quick and shallow breaths.

The heat pooling in my underwear is unbearable. I squirm under his touch. With one hand I grab his hair, I use the other to stifle my moans.

Mike pulls away from me and takes some deep breaths. “Is this ok?” He asks obliviously. “Don’t talk.” I pull him back in and kiss him again.

“Wait. Not here.” He pulls me with him into his room. As soon as the door is shut he pulls his shirt off. His toned body is better than I could’ve imagined.

My fingers trace the shape of his abs, sliding down toward his v-line. His heavy breathing drives me insane.

I reach down and lift my own shirt. Mike’s hands slide up my body and push it off me eagerly. “Fuck.”

The only light comes from the street lamps outside his window. It creates harsh shadows that define every inch of him. I reach down and slide my fingers into his waistband.

As our eyes meet I’m sure our intentions are the same. I remove the last of his clothes carefully. Mike steps out of his pants and pulls me over to his bed.

He sits on the edge and pushes me down into a kneel in front of him. Without exchanging any words I took his tip into my mouth.

“Ohh fuck.” His rough hand grabs the back of my head. My tongue works around his shaft. I use my hands to carefully rub what isn’t in my mouth. “Come on. You can take more than that.”

Mike’s hand puts pressure on my head. I sink lower on his cock, taking as much as I can. “That’s perfect. Good girl.” His hand slides off my head and down my back. My bra is unhooked and slides down my arms.

My hands work to undo my pants. As I pull my head back for air I work them down over my ass. Mike watches me through half lidded eyes.

He tugs his lip between his teeth as I lower my head again. The taste of his precum fills my mouth. My pants sit at my knees. As I try to reach down to relieve myself, Mike grabs my wrist.

“Don’t.” His voice is husky and demanding. I obliege and instead grab onto his legs. The sounds of my mouth fill the room. Mike’s quiet moans push me to do more.

My nails dig into his skin as his tip brushes the back of my throat. Nothing I’ve ever dreamt of compares to this. To the lustful look he has in his eyes.

Mike grabs my face to stop me. My desperation for anything for him shows out. As I sit on his floor with my pants half down and no top, Mike looks at me like I’m the only thing in the world.

“Stand up.” He demands. I slowly raise myself up from the ground. My pants fall to my ankles. Mike lifts my leg and removes my pants then follows with the other.

God his attitude has never driven me this wild. His lips caress my stomach. My fingers twist into his hair.

My hand clenches into a fist as his fingers brush against my core. “Jesus.” The feeling of his rough hands being so gentle with me drives me insane.

I know he can do so much more. I wish he would. “How’s this?” Mike’s finger brushes past my clit. “Good.” My voice shakes as I answer him.

“Just good? You deserve better than that.” His breath is hot on my stomach. I toss my head back as his fingers rub me harder. “Ah!” My hand covers my mouth to shut me up.

“Like that?” Mike kisses my belly. “Yes. God, don’t stop.” I roll my hips with his fingers. The feeling of hush tongue on my skin drives me crazy.

I want to taste his lips again. Not only that, I want him to just fuck me. A raw fuck would drive me insane.

“You’re so wet.” I look down at him, grabbing his shoulder for support. With his free hand Mike strokes himself. His lips tug into a smug grin.

“Give me more.” My pleads seem to get him off more. “Please. I don’t want to wait anymore.” I continue. “Fuck.” His fingers leave my body and with a swift motion and has me down on his bed.

Mike places himself over me. He leans down and presses his lips to mine in a needy kiss. Our bodies grind against each other.

We both want it so badly and simultaneously need this to last forever. This feeling of desperate lust.

“How many times have you thought of me like this?” I whisper as we pull away for air. “A million times.” Mike moves down to my neck, sucking on the bare skin.

My back arches up against him as his teeth add pressure. I have work tomorrow. I don’t bother mentioning it. I want everyone to know how hard I got fucked tonight.

Our make out session ends as abruptly as it started. Mike spreads my legs, holding my thighs apart. He looks to me for a moment. I nod back.

He adjusts himself until his tip is pressed against me. My hand grabs at the sheets. As he slowly thrusts into me, my grip tightens.

Mike’s hands press harder on my thighs. Strangled moans escape from my mouth. I fight to stay quiet. My body responds to him with pure pleasure.

“Jesus christ you were made for me.” His head falls forward between his shoulders. Mike thrusts into me at a steady speed. We touch each other like needy idiots.

My head digs into his pillow. I’m surrounded by him. His smell is intoxicating. His sounds are addictive. His touch is breathtaking.

“Mike.” I moan, reaching up to grab at his back. “Harder.” I hold him closer to me. Mike obliges and starts to fuck me harder.

“You’re so good.” He whispers, gripping my hip. How do we go back to normal after this? Do we? How do I keep my hands off of him after this?

“Turn over.” Mike pulls out of me with one sudden movement. I quickly turn onto my stomach. His hands grab my hips, pulling my ass up.

I dig my face into the pillow as I anticipate his penetration. When he finally slides back into me my moans are quieted.

“God, fuck.” He grunts as he builds back up to a steady rhythm. My legs start to slide apart with each thrust. Mike grabs them to steady me.

Warmth starts to build up in my stomach. I don’t want this to end yet. This hasn’t lasted nearly long enough.

My fists clutch his sheets again. I let myself moan more freely now that my face is in the pillow.

Our skin meets with a rhythmic clap. Mike tries to quiet it but doesn’t seem to care enough to change positions. Thank god.

I’ve never been fucked like this. I hope no one ever has the chance to fuck me again. This is it. No one could possibly be better than this.

“Are you close?” Mike groans. “Yes.” I choke out. “God your cunt is clenching around me.” One of his hands slides from my thigh to between my legs.

He presses onto my clit, circling his finger slowly. My whines start to creep out louder and louder. My orgasm builds up satisfyingly slow.

“Don’t stop.” I beg, laying my head in my arms. Mike continues with his movements. The feeling continues to build up more quickly now.

I feel Mike’s cock twitch inside me. His quiet profanities and grunts give away how close he is as well. I want to see his face as he finishes inside me.

“I want to see you.” My words come out more slurred than they should’ve. At first I’m unsure if he could even understand me.

Then in one swift motion Mike flips me over. His relentless fucking continues immediately after my back hits the mattress. Our faces are both damp with sweat.

His eyes lock with mine, his gaze piercing right through me. There’s nothing he couldn’t get from me. “You’re the most beautiful thing to ever walk this planet.”

I’m taken aback by his comment. Before I can respond my orgasm consumes my thoughts. My back arches up until we’re skin to skin again.

Mike slides a hand under my back, holding me tight. I sink my teeth into his shoulder to hold my moans in. “Fuck.” His grip gets even tighter. We both stay like this until our orgasms have passed.

I lay back down on his bed. Mike lays down next to me. We both stare at the ceiling while we catch our breath. I creep my hand over toward his. When our pinkies touch, Mike takes my hand in his.

“I like you so much.” He mumbles. “You don’t know how crazy you’ve driven me since I first saw you.”

My heart skips a beat in my chest. I turn my head to look at him. Mike looks over at me too. “I didn’t even think you liked me as your friend.” He did nothing to give it away. Ever.

“I don’t like anyone but you. You’re fucking mesmerizing.” He pressed my hand against his lips, kissing my knuckles.

If I’m dreaming don’t ever wake me up.

I lean in and kiss him again. His stubble contrasts my soft skin. The roughness he has is one of his sexiest qualities.

“Do you want to shower?” Mike whispers as we part. “With you?” My hand slides up to his shoulder. “I wouldn’t let you shower alone.” His smirk returns.

That fucking smirk. If he had flashed that at me any time before today I might’ve just grabbed him and kissed him right there. He doesn’t even know how sexy he is.

“I’ll go run the water.” Mike sits up and reaches for his clothes off the floor. “Here.” He slides his boxers back on then walks over to his dresser. I watch as he pulls out another pair of boxers and a tee.

“You can wear this.” As he drops the clothes on the bed he leans in closer to me. I meet him in the middle, pressing another kiss onto his lips. I’m desperate for his touch. Even after all that.

“Alright. I’m going to go get the shower ready… Come join me when you’re ready.” Maybe it’s too dark to see but Mike actually winks at me. Before I can ask him if he really did he’s leaving the room.

I collapse back onto the mattress. Jesus this guy is going to be the death of me.

[a-jar-of-beetles]

kristen thoughts plus divine musings

I really want to write out my theory and speculations about last episode but Kristen C. Applebee's won't stop taking up all my brain space so I might as well share my ramblings.

First off it was a really interesting choice to reach out to her parents she could have easily settled for checking in with Bucky to see how he and their other siblings were doing, but decided to talk to her parents anyway which besides being brave also shows a maturity that often alludes Kristen (not that ignoring her parents for the rest of her life is immature but that's not the point I'm making).

Although I wish she could have interacted more with her brothers her conversation with her parents was not as confrontational as I would have expected I for sure thought that Kristen would have bitten back at the "Helio might not have let that happen" comment when Kristen the literal chosen one of Helio has died multiple times.

Another thing that stuck out to me was the way Mac and Donna talked about Galicaea, they acted like she was just some random goddess but in Elysium Galicaea refers to Sol as her brother which is a weird thing for Kristen's parents to ignore so is the fact that Sol and Galicaea are siblings something that not common knowledge? Could it just be something that's forbidden or just taboo to talk about? Mac and Donna were also pretty judgemental about elves when they were first introduced so maybe it has something to do with that?

So that got me thinking about how Cassandra is mostly referred to as Galicaea's sister instead of Sol's while it could just be that they're both associated with night and that they both had elven followers but it made me wonder what type of relationship they had. Were they just never close in Elysium he never mentioned Cassandra but that could have just been because Kristen didn't ask him about her the only real thing we know about Sol is that he obviously approved of Ankarna and Cassandra otherwise he wouldn't have officiated their wedding.

Which brought me back to how Sol followers in the modern/evangelist church of Sol don't seem to actually know or care about what Sol actually represents/represented, which made me think about the inverse. Does Sol even truly know what's going on with his followers? Because of devil's nectar we know Gods can be purposely deceived but we also know that the nectar works by deceiving yourself first so if you truly believe something and tell your God the same they will believe it too because in Spyre the gods aren't omniscient, we've literally seen it with Galicaea who thought that Cassandra erasing her old name was her own idea and the Nightmare King killed her even when there was evidence to the contrary. Do you think her clerics did it on purpose? Whether their words were Honeyed or delusional Galicaea was still lied to. Galicaea who loved her sister, who would destroy anyone that would dare hurt her baby sister, who bared her fangs at the mention of doubt and only spoke of conviction and clarity which belonged to her fallen sister in law.

Do you think that after Cassandra died Ankarna wasn't the only one who got corrupted? Do you think that with out someone to champion doubt and hold peoples hand through the unknown, people stopped questioning the words of their preachers, paladins and clerics? because doubt became hard to speak about was it just ignored and swallowed? Was it the avoidance of doubt that made the followers of Sol demonize Ankarna? Because without Cassandra Ankarna was no longer a part of their family? Sol and Galicaea did they care? How did they when they lost the last part of Cassandra besides themselves? Were they sad?angry? relived? upset? apathetic? Did they even notice it happen at all?

Maybe I've just been thinking too much

IDK

[gramarye]

speaking of my list of ygo by treatment of its female characters so far. its so insanely long well. sorry.

sevens : really good marvelous awesome. women are treated as equals in my honest onion and everyone rocks. i <3 yugioh sevens. i love you romin i love you rayne (WEIRDO!) i love you princess g i love you atachi mimi i love you asana i love you tiger etcetcetc I LOVE YOU YUGIOH SEVENS

gx: it's not Great with what it does with asuka and rei but it's somehow still less offensive than all of the other ygos below it in this list. asuka gets to be pretty cool and again, even tho there's several episodes about her being courted at least they let her come out on top whenever guys are trying to get to her and they never do weird sexual shit with her in a way that is as obvious as in the other yugiohs. YES THE BAR IS THAT LOW I THINK! SAD! and she gets as much as spotlight as say, chazz, kenzan, sho, or the likes. if you disagree btw you were not watching yugioh gx and should try to pay attention to women again. asuka is a really good fleshed character by gx standards. rei is also pretty fun, i love her, she has her little moments and she's Not limited to her love shtick, she has really fun beef and duel with chazz for example and has a neat role in s3 and all that. ALL THINGS CONSIDERED: ITS PRETTY NICE! they did an ok job! its very hobbyani and shounen but its not offensive w/ the women!

5d's: like.. it started off really good then they just kind of forget about aki. i will never let them live down the "benchwarmer" thing and guess what. THEY WON'T LET ME EITHER BECAUSE THEY MADE MERCH OF HER WITH THAT TITLE LIKE A YEAR AGO OR SO !!!! sherry is pretty cool though and oh i love carly. carly is good i just wish they didn't kinda ... roll back her progress with jack , it's like they had to make him hate her again for the haha funnies and because he couldn't be nice now in the 2nd half. idk. ruka is fine i just think its hilarious she has a kuriboh with huge ass girl eyelashes i will attach it to the bottom of this post. made sure we know this is a #GIRL kuriboh

DM: its like . okay. anzu doesn't do much i am sorry. i love her it's just that they let her have a few duels and that is it. the #og cheerleader. I LIKE HER! i just think they should let her do more. she has really good scenes outside dueling though and is very integral to the friend group and everything though so :) yayyyy anzu. mai is really good but remember when they. okay this is anime specific BUT I AM TALKING ABOUT THE ANIME SO !!! but remember when they kept her in a coma in like marik's special hell world for literally like 50 episodes. like. it was so fucking dire fifty whole episodes. Bad. AND THEN THEY MADE HER GET POSSESSED LITERALLY IN THE NEXT ARC? VILE. rebecca etc are all fine they werent there for super long but i like them. all in all it was OK wish there was more fleshing out. 5d's still did it better and had more memorable women more in the spotlight i fear. but 4 is not a bad ranking here DM is like alright not too offensive

zexal: ok its like... i don't think tori not dueling in itself is a Crime but it's sad they don't let her when she expresses in the anime wanting to duel . why not let her !!!! plus it'd tie really nicely with rio who i think rocks, but i do NOT understand why they had to have rio duel tetsuo who her only tie to was him having a crush on her when she was besties with kotori and it wouldve been a nice way to tie up their friendship and tori's desire to duel..anyway. CATHY AND ANNA ARE NICE its just that i feel like. anna rocks sooo hard but her whole character is wrapped up in her thing with yuma. they should've come up with another plot for her after i think taht would've been nice but it's not that big of a deal it's still pretty cool. train girl forever. also yuma's sister is cool <3 i think this is kind of a tie with DM actually . also they make at least one weird sexualizing skirt length joke with kotori so um. HOP OFF MY 13 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER AND STOP BEING WEIRD

vrains: AUTHORS NOTE I HAVENT FINISHED VRAINS YET but ive seen a good amount and my vrains oomfies concur with these ratings. blue angel gets into a coma within 10 episodes and is really good at getting her ass beat unfortunately. ghost gal is pretty cool but shes also out there getting her ass beat i think she only wins once like its so fucking dire out here they will NOT let these women win like they just take one L after the other. and theres really no other women there. um. its just kind of an L overall they just don't let the 2 cool women do anything. like gx only really had asuka and rei but at least they let them be cool and fun i DON'T SEE THAT HERE... love them both though. also shoutout to soulburner's npc girlfriend i think shes funny and im glad she exists

arc-v: literally im sorry i havent finished arc-v either but ALL MY ARC-V OOMFIES WHO ADORE THE SHOW CONCUR. IT'S SO BAD. ruri and rin are like barely characters. serena is cool yuzu is cool until she isn't and THEY HAVE HER LOSE TO AN ADULT MAN USING BDSM MONSTERS AND IMPLY BEING SEXUALLY GRATIFIED BY IT? ITS REALLY BAD. THAT EPISODE ALONE WAS SO BAD IT TOOK IT DOWN 50000 SPOTS IN THE LIST AND I HEARD IT ONLY GETS WORSE. LIKE ACTUALLY CRIMINALLY BAD. MADE ME GENUINELY UPSET. also asuka is there and shes kind of a girlboss until they kill her like really badly and in a humiliating manner. like. Okay. they build it up soo much just to let you down so terribly with the girls.

undecided: go rush its still ongoing but i have watched all 115 episodes so far or whatever and it was like based and epic and poggers in season 1 but um the treatment of the girlies has been going downhill. i have a lot of opinions. i dont know what to say about it. it just declined a lot for the most part. yuamu girlboss though they're kind of making some progress again. i need to give it a rewatch when it's done airing to sort my feelings on it.

addendum btw here is the #girl kuriboh ruka has in 5d's. kind of a slay

[dazais-guardian-angel]

🧡💛💖💕 for the Ask meme! (Tales of the Abyss ;))

🧡: What is a popular (serious) theory you disagree with?

Lmao well..... I think you saw my previous ask 😂😭 Any theory that says Asch or Lorelei or some weird Luke-Asch personality hybrid or anyone else people come up with that isn't just Luke who comes back at the end. It's gotta be Luke; the narrative just falls apart if it isn't. The other day when I was answering the previous ask looking for your "theory" post again I saw the take (put very simply here) that Abyss is a tragedy, Luke's character is a tragic one, so it makes sense that he ultimately dies and stays dead, and I'm just like.... how?? Genuinely I don't understand how his character arc can possibly be read as that his entire struggle to change and for life was just completely futile in the end and that there was no meaning to any of it all, that's such a downer ending for what is ultimately, despite how much sad shit happens in it, a hopeful story 😭😭😭 (one of the main themes is LITERALLY CALLED MEANING OF BIRTH).

Even putting that aside though, I just feel like it makes even less sense for Asch to come back?? Like, his character arc finished when he died. The whole point is that he remained stagnant the whole game and his tragedy is that he dies that way, while Luke was willing and able to change!! What purpose would it serve narratively to bring him back after his very sad yet satisfying conclusion?? Again, by all means, it makes for juicy AUs, but as canon.... there's no way.

💛: What is a popular ship you just can’t get behind, and why?

....I feel like I'm putting myself in danger answering this when it's coming from you 😂😭 But, well, I'm really not that interested in Luke/Tear lol. By no means do I hate it though, I just don't have any strong feelings towards it either way, and honestly part of that is just because I'm not really a shipper in general lol and nothing to do with them specifically. A lot of people who don't ship it say it's because they see Tear as more of a sister figure to Luke because that's how the game initially presents her as (and with the "big sister" title or whatever it's called), but idk... I honestly can't decide what I see her as to him. They just feel like very close friends to me by the end of the game, I guess, and although I like some of their touching scenes, I never really felt the chemistry between them. I guess it's just hard for me to imagine Luke in a relationship with everything he's going through during the game, and also Tear is pretty bland to me herself so that doesn't help. 😭 I know her Japanese voice is very different from her English one and her English one gets some flak, so maybe that's to blame ugh; maybe if I listened to her in Japanese sometime I would become more endeared to her.

💖: What is your biggest unpopular opinion about the series?

...If I had to pick another one that isn't just the first answer again lol, though this isn't exactly super unpopular, but Abyss is the best game in the Tales series, by a wide, wide margin. Not only do I believe it to be the best Tales game, but one of the best games of all time period, and one of the best stories of all time. Yes, I said what I said, fight me. And it has absolutely nothing to do with nostalgia; I played Abyss on my 3DS around 2014-2015, probably? in my early 20s, so I don't have any special childhood memories of it, nor was it even my first Tales game (Graces holds a special place in my heart for that). I just... played it, and it left such an incredible impact on me that has yet to be beaten by nearly any other media I've ever experienced. I don't know what it is about it that makes it so powerful, but it's true. Don't get me wrong, plenty of other stories have come very close to making me feel the same way..... but none of them have ever quite reached Abyss level.

So yeah, a lot of people agree Abyss is good.... but I still believe that most don't recognize it for the masterpiece it truly is.

💕: What is an unpopular ship that you like?

Like I said, I'm really not a shipper lol, but I'm really fond of Guy/Natalia? I just love their scenes together, how respectful and gentlemanly he is towards her, and how her growth is most strongly shown in plenty of her interactions with him; it's so lovely to see. 🥹 and I think about their time spent together post-Eldrant and before the epilogue, them helping each other grieve.... it destroys me so good :' ) they're very sweet together.

Thank youuu sista! 🩷

Ask game

[bulbabutt]

TW for talk of animal death sorry

Idk what stage I’m at its like. Oh things are normal I can just feel empty and not cry anymore but also then you go. No it’s not normal there’s spaces where he should be and he’s not. Feel bad for my other cat, idk if she understands what happened, or if maybe she understands more than I think cuz she was in the room before I was (they were litter mates like literally brother and sister).

Feel bad for my family cuz Sapphire’s very much more my cat then Ruby was, she doesn’t sit on other peoples laps and stuff. She only wants to be around me and way more than usual right now.

Things are just weird here. I’m coping best I can. He was literally my one not sick animal as far as I knew, but the vet said he has had a heart murmur years prior that probably escalated. So it was just so fucking sudden that I didn’t feel like it was real. A horrible day, followed by a really sad day, and now we’re just…existing in the new space. Hard to think I said goodnight to him, then my mum fed him the next morning, and then next thing we knew he just wasn’t there anymore. No warning at all. He was only 9, everyone loved him so much I know he had a good life, I know he didn’t suffer much, but obviously it’s just like a piece of me is missing. I literally would carry him like a toddler cuz he was shaped like one and he was so patient about it, he was my baby boy.

Ugh I’m sorry I just feel weird not talking about him

[jihyoruri]

me when it’s time for the yearly anon confession potluck and I have to admit that to me… wowyn.. is just.. 🙂. I think she is a little toxic and the wonyn situation takes me out so bad like it’s genuinely the funniest thing to me EVER. like I can not explain why but the wonyoung is like eh ik u like me but I don’t rlly wanna deal with that so! uhm!.. anyway! and wowyn just… listens tew her😭😭like ur telling me wowyn breaks up w girls If wonyoung doesn’t like them LMFAOO😭

idk for some reason wowyn to me is more of a loser than loseryn not even in a mean way just.. I don’t know I feel like if I met her fr I’d be like.. ur such a sad person…

moving past this… who is your favorite yn? we all know mine…

(1. shamelessyn 2. richgirl yn 3. aespayn/firecrackeryn)

i may not be the president of the aespayn or richgirlyn fanclub but I’m actually both of their therapists btw. yeah Ik you guys don’t know but my side gig is actually fixing them. yeah no aespayn is in the trenches… it’s bad in these streets. (I love richgirlyn almost the same amount as shamelessyn I’m a cheater sorry)

also side note I am sat for anything u write but I hope you continue to explore richgirlyn’s dynamic with chaewon and the other members.. idk maybe it’s bc I grew up with a lot of money but the way ppl w wealth act has always been so.. weird tew me. like I know these r just sillay yn works but I feel like people who write rich characters forget like.. these r the most emotionally stunted people on earth. they never learned to socialize or explain their emotions 😭dealing w rich people is insane because no one talks abt anything or knows how to interact with regular people like they have such hard times w it for some reason?? (because they never had to)

ANYWAY sorry for the long ask 😞I hope we get some aespayn fans out here for 4/20 SHOW SUPPORT FOR UR GIRL😭😭

-🎏

LOL babes imma have to correct you on some things. 😭

it’s not that wony is like “eh ik u like me but I don’t rlly wanna deal with that so! uhm!.. anyway!” she’s genuinely playing hard to get with yn, she feels like yn will always wait for her so she just doesn’t want to get into a relationship just as yet, I think I’ve mentioned it in early asks but wonyoung is playing hard to get with yn😭. wonyn is really a sad situation when you think about it because they’d be really good for each other but they’re not on the same page at all like wow!yn doesn’t think wonyoung likes her even tho wony does hold some feelings for her but she’s waiting it out but realizing that her time is running out. The only reason why wow!yn breaks up with people sometimes if wony doesn’t like them because wonyoung is genuinely her best friend if Giselle didn’t like one of yn’s gfs yn would probably break up with them as well, it’s so easy for her do that because she was just bored like she wasn’t in the relationship for real feelings if she acc had real feelings for the person it would be a different story take winter for example BOTH wonyoung and yujin didn’t like her and yn knew that but yn didn’t break up with her because she genuinely liked her but then she realized that she genuinely liked her so she broke up with her LMAOOOOOO. I wouldn’t call wow!yn a loser because she genuinely has problems, she has some mental instability. like her problems with her dad has definitely affected how she thinks about things and butchers how her mind functions in certain situations, she is a sad person tho. ANYWAYS moving on from wow!yn

my favourite yn and wow!yn and nwjns!yn THE SISTERS honestly I love wow!yn because she’s my most complex yn and honestly she’s just such a shit head and it’s so fun and amusing writing her and nwjns!yn is just a sweet mess like when I finally introduced her fic you guys will see what I mean, she’s the exact opposite of her sister 😭 (also a respectful mention of aespa!yn)

LOL they both need therapists for real so you got the job‼️ aespa!yn is a mess she’s a rich mess (I just took in that you like the two extremely rich yn’s LOL also firecracker!yn is always on someone’s favourite list and it always makes me laugh LMAOOO)

yes I am totally gonna explore richgirl!yn more, I tried my best to give a small peak into richgirl!yn having some problems I was so happy when you picked up on it in ur last ask for her

I honestly love long asks so much so this was fun to read LOL and thank you so much for reading and enjoying my works

[gorillaxyz]

ok under cut because sigh im embarrassed even though this is my SELF SHIPPING blog but i have nearly 200 followers (hi😓) and im shy

ok im thinking... im a journalist. i say. but i actually run a shitty blog and i get called out for that pretty quickly LOL but idk idk idk. i want to be in the first game. idk if id be in turnabout sisters though... when i watch the anime ill decide. i also think itd be cute/funny if i end up being one of phoenixs clients lolol.. but idk

anyway i love all the characters so i think id go "writing aboyt this up and coming attorney will definitely pay off and people will read my blog :)" (its a stupid online diary and no one reads it) but yeah id latch myself onto phoenix and write about his cases and stuff.

i also briefly considered COURTROOM ARTIST? that would be interesting. so id have a reason to be in like all of phoenixs cases. but then why would i spend time with him outside of the courtroom? also i think a stupid blogger is sillier

anyway.. i end up forcing myself into phoenixs circle and everyone is so nice and im so grateful to phoenix because wow found family... wow i actually have friends... and i owe it all to you mr wright... so i basically have the biggest crush ever on him because i just OWE HIM SO MUCH and i want to repay him so im like the only one who doesnt really take the piss out of him that much

anyway sad face no happy endings for me im thinking phoenix will never find out. and id prefer it that way. but... sigh... its hard seeing him around all these other people who find ut easier to talk to him... because id be so shy around him every time id try to speak to him id humiliate myself. sigh. so im w little bit jealous of a lot of them... you know... sigh

i would find it easier to talk to him over time and i think wed be good friends ^_^ and the fact i have feelings for him doesnt change anything i just go insane every time im near him. but honestly i am hust weird in general so no one would be able to tell the difference.

i think maybe ill be forced to like confess my lurve or something a few years down the line IDK im thinking trying to figure out why && when... and how. but itd definitely be me. by that point hed also have feelings for me but he wouldnt agonise over them as much as i do... (yet 🤔?)

anyway sniffle i just want to be nice to him forever you know

[altschmerzes]

if anyone has cats they would like to send me pics of i would appreciate that a lot i am having a very very fucking weird one right now and don’t really know what to do with myself.

the short version is: my dad died today. the long version is..... probably an absolutely ridiculous overshare but. like i said. don’t know what to do with myself so i’m just. idk im talking out loud i guess, putting this Somewhere. it’s. heavy, sorry.

so the post i made recently celebrating seven years going no-contact with my abusive father who kind of ruined my life in a lot of really serious ways i am likely never really going to completely recover from? yeah. he had a stroke earlier this year that sounded like it was pretty serious and that was a lot to process and then i just got the call from my mom that he had a heart attack while fishing with a friend this afternoon and died. apparently it was fast, which is good. he was fifty-five and i guess he’d just hit two years sober.

my mom sounded really upset on the phone, and i guess she’d only found out less than ten minutes before she called me, she just told my sister, who lives with her, and my sister went off to take a shower (read: have a breakdown in the shower), and then called me immediately and said “your dad died” as soon as i answered with a hey, what’s up. they’d been divorced for twenty years and he was a fucking bastard but i guess your ex-husband and your kids’ dad who you’ve recently been reconnecting with and spending time with again dies and you’re probably gonna have some strong feelings about it. my sister is in pieces, they’d reconnected and were spending a lot more time together. in their text they said ‘i barely got any time with him and i’m fucking heartbroken’.

and because he has no other living relatives my 23 year old sister who is uh, in a fragile state on the best of days, is gonna have to deal with all of the paperwork and shit that happens when someone dies. and my sister and i’s relationship is like.... it’s complicated, to put it politely, they are very hard for me to be around for a lot of reasons, but i wouldn’t wish that on them and i wish i was able to take on that stuff if only because i’m almost through law school and i’m the least emotionally invested in the man and it just would be easier for everyone if i did the paperwork and whatever.

and then there’s my brother, because i have a brother, who i barely talk about because it hurts to think about him. he’s nine years older than me and he’s my half-brother by my dad and after my dad went to prison on drug charges i didn’t see him for thirteen years. and then a long time after a brief visit too. he’s got two kids now, and for a while there we were in sporadic contact, but i haven’t seen or heard from him since i was maybe nineteen. and my mom was just kind of rambling on the phone about how she had to find my brother’s mother’s contact information because someone had to tell him and because i’m all the way out here and i can’t DO anything else i told her i’d find her and tell her what happened and get everyone’s contact information for whatever’s coming next so. now i’ve texted my brother, who is a living wound in my life, for the first time in like six years. he hasn’t answered yet and according to his mother he’s ‘devastated.’ so.

i’m not. i’m not devastated. i don’t know what i feel honestly. once i tracked her down on facebook and dealt with all of that i just sort of sat at the kitchen table and stared at the wall for a long time. listened to the mountain goats song ‘pale green things’ and drifted in a weird numb void. i’m not.... sad. not about him anyway. i don’t know what i am. i have a very difficult time articulating my feelings on a good day, fuck i mean i have a hard time identifying my feelings on a good day. some combination of autism and cptsd and the sense that if i have feelings someone is going to die, maybe me, maybe someone else. if i have feelings, i get someone killed, is the thought process, which is a long story but. is extremely hard to work around, especially when i don’t see the point because taking active steps to make my feelings known and make them something someone else has to deal with is like. what’s the point. why do that.

so i don’t know what i feel. i feel strange and distant and not-sad and kind of angry at my sister and brother for some fucking reason and guilty and resentful and relieved. there’s some relief in there i think, because it’s like. i don’t know. i had the thought earlier, ‘oh thank gd’ which is. it sounds heinous but i now i’ll never have to choose between attending my sister’s wedding and not having to see him there, if i go back to my hometown and feel like there’s a monster stalking me from the shadows i can just tell myself the fucking monster’s fucking dead and he can’t ever hurt me again. nobody in my family is ever going to be able to pressure me to just talk to him already, just move on and let it go. reconcile, forgive, get past it.

(i don’t know how much any of them know. i have never discussed this with my parents or my sister and i never plan to. we’ve talked about some things in vague euphemisms and talked around it even more. when he got out of prison and then when he was done stalking us which he did for a while and got some help i guess and was doing a bit better my sister wanted to reconnect with him and i didn’t. i had panic attacks, i was terrified, i didn’t want anything to do with him and i didn’t want my sister anywhere near him and i remember all my mom had to say to me about that was ‘if it makes you feel any better, i could take him.’ i don’t know what to... i just don’t know.)

i dunno. i don’t know. when i visited my hometown and stayed at my parents’ house (my grandmother’s house, when i say ‘parents’ i mean her and my mom generally) i slept with a knife on my bedside table and a plan of how to get out the window because i’d heard that he’d started dropping by sometimes and i was too scared to sleep otherwise. he terrorized me. i have very few memories from before he went to prison and most of them are of being terrified for my life. of being chased through the house, staying above the garage because for some reason we couldn’t be in the house that night. sexual abuse that i can still barely handle thinking about. he haunts my nightmares regularly, even though i haven’t seen or spoken to him in seven years, didn’t see or talk to him very often before that. i have panic attacks in my sleep dreaming about him, enough that i have to be medicated for it.

he’s a person who was deeply troubled and sick and suffered unimaginably in his life and it’s just.... i know all of that and i just. i don’t know. i hope he’s at peace i guess. i know he never was when he was alive. i know i’m not at peace most of the time, largely because of the shit he did to me. i don’t know. i don’t know. my dad’s dead.

[mermaidsirennikita]

have you read notorious by minerva spencer?? it was the first book of hers i tried and the way she wrote the hero felt so off to me that i DNFed and haven't tried any of her other works. i've seen you rec other books by her though so i was thinking of giving her another try but idk where to start. would love to know what you recommend i should start with <3

Yeah, I have, and while I liked a lot about that book, I agree with you on the way the hero was written. Her first trilogy and that book in particular (and in some ways the followup book to Notorious) are just... not books I'd recommend. What I find weird is that THUS FAR I don't think I've encountered anything similar in her LaViolette (her pen name) books? But to be fair, there are a lot of those, and I haven't read all of them.

Sooo I would jump into a LaViolette book! Some of my favorites:

The Seducers Trilogy. This series is focused on a set of sex workers who all know and work or have worked with each other, finding love. It's got romance, it's got sex, it's got darkness and humor. I will say that, as you can imagine with the nature of the content, there's some harrowing stuff; these books don't linger on sexual abuse on the page, but they are often a part of the backstory/villainy. I've read all of 'em, and they break down into

Melissa and The Vicar—A jaded madam goes on vacation due to a stomach ulcer (she's stressed!) and meets a super sweet, VIRGINAL vicar... who has no idea who she is... and is finally having his fire LIT. The book where right after she introduces him to anal sex his immediate response is like "I want you to meet my parents", I am nOT KIDDING.

Joss and The Countess—A former sex worker (who was good at laying it DOWN) is now a footman for a frosty widowed countess. He's also her bodyguard for her sojourns into town, where she's trying to have good sex for the first time in her life. And... he quickly realizes that she may not know what she needs, but HE does. An extremely horny yet also extremely touching book (harrowing, though) with an older heroine and a younger hero, and some HOT sex scenes.

Hugo and The Maiden—A famous sex worker is transported after being framed for a crime he didn't commit. The ship wrecks and he washes ashore on a tiny island, where his arrogant, selfish ass gets stomped on (metaphorically) by a bossy vicar's daughter. I call this "Devil in Winter on steroids".

The Masqueraders Trilogy. About three people who, you guessed it, AREN'T WHO THEY SAY THEY ARE!!! Another "proceed knowing that these can get harrowing" series. All good, but I'd especially recommend

The Footman—A teenage footman is thrown in prison when his boss's spoiled daughter convinces him to kiss her and they're caught. He escapes and reinvents himself with a new identity in America, becoming wealthy and returning to England to ruin the girl, now a widow, for revenge. But as you can imagine.... he plays himself.

The Bastard—A scarred former bareknuckle boxer (whose backstory is INSANELY sad, omg) is out to take revenge on his father, who never claimed him. However... He's gobsmacked by the kind nature of his father's sister-in-law (not his aunt by blood... to be clear) specifically after she like, is nice to a dog in front of him. So, naturally, as someone who clearly over-identifies with the dog, he stalks her for a while and eventually ends up offering her a deal: he WON'T ruin his father's (and by extension her sister's) life... If she marries him.

The Bellamy Siblings is her ongoing series that's perhaps the least WACKY? Still wacky at points though. It's about a family that falls on hard financial times due to the father's gambling, which means it falls on the sisters in particular to find ways to make money (often through marriage). Again, all good. My favorites include

Hyacinth—One of my favorites of hers, the top spot is probably between this and Joss and The Countess, but a unique story about a neurodivergent card shark heroine who disguises herself as a man at night to get money for the family. (And also... because she has fun with it.) A scarred, notorious duke notices and befriends her, and eventually catches on to her gender, but not her identity as a lady. They stark a FWB situation, with neither one believing they'll fall in love... AND YET.... Super emotional but also funny, verrrrrry sexy, great ending.

Selina—Directly after the above book, the beautiful Bellamy sister Selina, always raised to save the family by marrying rich, has an identity crisis and runs off, taking a job as a housekeeper under a fake name. The catch, aside from her not having any job experience: the lord of the house is incredibly dickish and grumpy, as he's a rake who lost his sight the year before following a terrible carriage accident. This one is less big on the plot and more about the loooove stoooory. It's really sweet and one of her softer books.

The Academy of Love is an ongoing series that has little artistic themes for each book, which is lovely. I've only read the first one so far, but I loved it

The Music of Love—A mysterious widow arrives to teach an equally mysterious wealthy man music. However, they have a massive attraction to each other and quickly have impetuous sex, which leads to Consequences and a quickie marriage. So now they barely know each other, are into each other, and are dealing with a fresh marriage on top of their mutual secrets. Very gothic, very hot, and also omg my heart. The hero has albinism (which I haven't read in any other romance novel) and is ostracized by society. That's why she was borught in to teach him music. It's just a really good book.

Victoria Decadence is her historical erotic romance series, which is ongoing (I think—she recently added a new book). I've only read one so far, but I looooved it, another big favorite. It's

His Valet—A rich businessman's devoted valet is actually not a man (Jo was assigned female at birth and uses she/her pronouns for the most part, but is clearly meant to be read as nonbinary) and is also obsessed with him. Taking on the identity of a mysterious woman soon to be wed, Jo begins meeting her boss for kinky sex... and it's supposed to be anonymous and all about the boning.. but oh now now they're falling in loooove...

She also has another ongoing series, the Hale Saga, which I've yet to read. But I imagine it's probably good! It sounds Bellamy-adjacent.

I hope this helps!

[fishisvibing]

Hi my new friend👋

How did you get into prongsfoot and when?

Hohoho this is getting interesting. I'm spilling tea and my deepest darkest secret.

Let's start with how I first got into harry potter

My sister is a millennial, and she's older than me a lot, like a lot lot, so when I was just a kid watching lotr and simping over legolas on tv, my sister came home with a newly published hp book and read it for me. I didn't remember much but I did say something along the line mentioned Sirius' name that "his name sounds beautiful"

When I got into secondary school, I had watched all of the hp movies but never touched the books bc my aunt borrowed all the copies, so I begged my mom if I could use my allowance to buy new books and she said yes. I gave the money to my sister and she bought me 2 harry potter box sets, one for reading and one for displaying (the extra one was my birthday gift)

I spent nights trying to absorb those and I fell in love the more I read about Sirius, he's such a cool character, I love him to the point I asked my friends to join my Sirius cult haha. My bestie also liked the Marauders very much and she loved Jily so I started learning about James and Lily too. Even though I don't ship them as hard as Prongsfoot now, I still call them papa James and mama Lily (It's because of our translation makes it sounds super cute to call them like that)

Okay it's getting heated. One of my friends announced that they love wolfstar, and being the artist of the group, I was asked to join and draw for them. My other friend, said that they liked James/Snape (seriously idk what this ship called) and demanded me to join them. At that time, I already felt how much I love James and Sirius and I adore their relationship very much, I feel very weird when they're being separated and I can't stand that (also bc I cried when I know how much they meant to each other in the books). I declined both of them and they were like "WHAT?". The wolftar one said "well can't you see how intimate they are in the movie?", and the James/Snape said "the rivalry between two enemies makes the best trope". But tbh I love Prongsfoot for the way they are, utterly loyal and devoted, their co-dependancy, how they're like two peas in the same pod, like the reflection in the mirror, one that never lies and cherishes the other till their last breath. I love how comfortable and easy they are being with each other. To me, they're full and content.

At first, it was just the feeling that they seem right. Very right. But then it became more and more, like a car racing down the highway, it felt like I fell hard and fast for them so then I started scavanging everywhere for their contents. I read fics, watched fanarts, practicing drawing whenever I had the time so that I could someday be able to contribute something for Prongsfoot, and I did it, it's still not every good imo but for now I'm feeling happy that I'm able to draw them, and write fics about them (they're all in Vietnamese tho)

Well, I think it all thanks to that one fic on fanfiction for turning me to the right path. I was still hesitate over wolfstar bc I didn't want to make my friend sad. But then after reading that devishly exquisite cherry on top fic, my heart and my head snapped straight to Prongsfoot. The way the author described their relationship was like the last nail in the coffin that set me forever laying deep in this Prongsfoot hole. Yahh I was 15 back then, what a time. I'm in my 20s now and that fic still embroided in my mind as clear as the sky (one of the reason it's my fav one is bc it's so morally wrong and fucked up in the head, it's basically dead dove but cooked beautifully)

Thank you for asking me this, I've been dying to talk about this but never have a chance

[eww-y-tho]

✨Miserable Thoughts At Around Midnight Coming From Existing With Two Narcissistic Parents✨

Pt. 1

I'm starting a series that I don't think many people will see, but this is probably going to be just for me to get my sadness and trauma out there somewhere whenever I'm thinking too much to sleep, and idk someone might be comforted by it in a weird way.

I'm just feeling very crushed right now and need an outlet. Ignore me if this, including other sensitive topics, such as attempted $u!c!d3 or inappropriate conversations with minors, is triggering for you.

For some context, my parents are divorced and living in separate houses. I'm living with my father and visiting my mother regularly. My sister is studying psychology and we've been deducing our parent's behaviour.

One of the toughest parts of having narcissistic parents is recognizing the patterns they use to manipulate you. I'm going to be talking about my mother first. Comparing the behaviour in my mother's texts between us sisters indicates a serious difference in interactions.

My mother has a history of putting me on a pedestal, calling me the light of her life, her baby, and the only reason she was married to my father. She "needed to stay with him" so that I "had someone to take care of me until I was an adult."

As a result, her subsequent neglect of anything other than spewing her poison was crushing. Me and my sister were surfing through the bins that contained crafts, art, and any nicknacks we collected over the years, and I have 20 separate, very crude cards to my mother that just say "I love you," so you can see how much I wanted to please her.

She talked about her sex life with my father to me in my tween years, plus my sense of wanting to age faster so my mother could finally leave the marriage really fucked me up. She would infantilize me and break down my confidence. Being homeschooled didn't help. I felt completely isolated.

My only saving grace was the internet while my sister left for uni. My sister had more signs of complete neglect, though. She has mental and physical health issues that are tied to parental neglect and a lot of her childhood memories were spent alone.

My sister showed me her text messages, and hers are drier than the Sahara, my mother only sporadically asks for favours that indicate a lack of care. My texts with my mother are drowned in red heart emojis, weird gifs for the context of the conversation, and a regular daily check-in if I drank my pill, what I'm doing, if I ate, what I ate, asking for any artwork WIPs I have, etc.

While that might sound sweet at first, it's very clearly a manipulation tactic, as she constantly drowns me in affection because she still thinks I can be controlled by all of her manipulative behaviour and my childhood urge to get validation from her.

It's very hard to see, which is why this speculation makes you feel like an asshole sometimes. But my sister and I have been burned by her so many times, she's ignored our advice in the past too much, pulled the victim card at so many inappropriate points, and she's actively engaged in destructive behaviour that caused some serious trauma. It's hard to believe she has good intentions.

God, I barely talked about all the things she's done to me and this is very surface-level, but it will go a lot more in-depth in other posts with examples as well as with my father so you know I'm not crazy.

I'll add a small tidbit here (that's not so small now) because it's plagued me for a few days recently:

My sister had a conversation with my mother about the four years my sister was in university, also known as the hardest point of my life. It's hard to admit, but around 3 years in, I attempted $u!c!d3. It didn't really threaten my life, but the intent was there.

My sister leaving really took a toll on my mental state, and living with two narcissistic parents made it worse. I only Skyped my sister on the weekends because I didn't want to bother her while she was in uni, so the only relationship I was active in was with my mother, as I didn't really have an excuse to not talk to her.

It was really damaging, and just remembering those years makes me cry. Back to the conversation. My sister told me that my mother actually told her that she was glad my sister left because that made me and my mother closer. I had a freakout and cried real hard when my sister told me that, because one, she was truly blind to the suffering I experienced, two, she just said that my sister was a barrier between me and her, and three, "close?" if anything, I became more and more distant as time passed.

Not even mentioning how damaging that was to my sister, as she told me that she didn't react to the blatant lack of care, but that sentence mixed with all the shit she did made her feel like she failed in protecting me, which was a driving force she had throughout my childhood. That stung.

Anyway, that's enough misery for now. I'm done.

[poorsadorphanposting]

This is an RP blog for the DoL AU of my OCs Edin and Esmee Koizumi! Run by @degrees-of-fuck the thing the myth the absentee.

TW for weird quasi-incestuous bullshit in general as well as creepy and self destructive behaviour / TW parental pseudocest under the cut. TW morgan basically. It's not anywhere else so that one can be skipped over.

Pronouns:

Esmee: She/Her ||| Edin: He with people they don't trust, They with people they do. (They pref.)

Major canon character relationship under cut for useful info just in case, but any and all interactions are welcome!

Not necessary reading, but it's here and might inspire some interactions idk.

SYDNEY: Sydney and the twins were Sunday School Buddies growing up - and Sydney was, I think, the first person the twins felt comfortable actually talking to after being left in doltown. They're still friends now, but they've never been able to hang out as much as they'd like. I think Sydney is as concerned with Esmee's recent changes in demeanor as Edin is.

BAILEY: Oh, Bailey, Bailey, Bailey... Bailey's kinda all they have at this point lol. Thing-like-family wise anyway. Edin constantly clamors to keep Bailey in a good mood so they won't be hurt while they're spending most of their time at the orphanage. I think Bailey wants to fucking punt them. Esmee hates Bailey, but wants their Attention and proof that she Exists to them, in some way.

LEIGHTON: OH BOY. They both haaaaaate Leighton. Leighton was Esmee's first kiss and kind of kickstarted her downward spiral a bit. As petty revenge for how uncomfortable Leighton makes her, she has taken to acting like the two of them are a MARRIED COUPLE. And is extremely annoying with it. Edin naturally despises Leighton for all this, paired with the Sydney stuff, but is also too terrified of them to act out or say much. Sometimes, Edin goes to detention in Esmee's place on the sneaky. This doesn't go well for them. Also in game, the same instance where Leighton took her first kiss, Esmee somehow managed to make Leighton cum in their pants by doing? Nothing? I wasn't even trying to get the achievement it just happened. My theory is either magic cum spell, or Leighton enjoys the sound of her sobs so much they just climaxed on the spot.

WHITNEY: Whitney probably bullies Edin relentlessly, though not necessarily sexually. They're just a sad nerd that's fun to push around. This makes the whole wanting to bang their twin sister thing awkward. As for Whitney and Esmee, they get into fights a LOT. I think even when they're dating, it's a pretty deranged dynamic. (Not affectionless tho <3 I did make that comic where Whitney takes psychic damage over Esmee's Demented Torture Porn Only Fans lmao) They both suck so so much. ... OH YEAH thing that happened/happens in game that's fun to reference: Esmee lost her oral virginity ingame to transguy Whitney's Strap but already had S mouth skill somehow, so her very first time sucking dick, she made him cum so hard he CRIED. In front of Leighton. the game didn't acknowledge it but it described him as Sobbing. She also somehow manages to make them cum in their pants Constantly in game it's so so funny. Use this info how you will. ((Based on this, the Leighton thing + at LEAST one other insane incident, my friends and I have started joking abt her having a fucking Cum Spell))

AVERY: Avery initially went for Esmee (dances, flirts, lets him hit it) but then Esmee proceeded to be her irritating, scene causing, threat to humanity self, so they went for her clone instead. Edin probably isn't a favourite of Avery's since they stutter a lot and are terrified of sex, but they ARE cute, easily manipulated and have their funny little music thing. Now Esmee pops Avery's tires and films them and is generally making a special effort to ruin their life.

BRIAR: Edin doesn't know who Briar is or what Esmee's main job is. All they know is that she constantly comes back in the wee hours, exhausted and looking like a MESS. They hate this. Esmee works for Briar most nights when she's not off treasure-hunting. One of the few people she actually takes semi-seriously, I think. She's a good dancer, soaks up horrendous damage like nobody's business and loves attention, but thus far has been stubborn about keeping her technical virginity.

MORGAN: Um. Esmee uh. So after being abandoned by her parents, the whole 'being relentlessly pursued by a violent and possessive maniac that claims her to be their daughter and refuses to let her go' thing she encountered while in the sewers kind of. Scratched a certain itch in Esmee. Yeah.

KYLAR: LOL Esmee and Kylar are uh. Allies I guess. I wouldn't say friends necessarily, but allies. Esmee helps Kylar with the creepshots and the intel gathering and general wingmannery in exchange for various demented favours. Edin used to feel bad for Kylar and wanted to talk to them, but these days they have a petty grudge against them. Same obsessive crush :/)

[anwritesstuff]

One last dance

pairing: hoseok x reader 

genre: strangers to lovers to strangers again

word count: 874

author's note: got this idea when cleaning my room a few months back when this song popped up soooo here’s a drabble based on the song “one last dance” by Thomas Ng feat. Milky Day; might go ahead and write a slow burn but idk yet, hope you guys like this xx

overall idea: hoseok & y/n have one last dance for closure of a relationship that could never be (or could it?) 

◆:*:◇:*:◆:*:◇:*:◆◆:*:◇:*:◆:*:◇:*:◆◆:*:◇:*:◆:*:◇:*:◆◆:*:◇:*:◆:*:◇:*:◆◆:*:◇:

He knew she was going to be there, he just wished she would come alone, maybe every bit as sad as he felt. After all, he was tired of hiding the sorrow of the breakup and to see some recognition akin to what he was feeling in her eyes would allow him to simply - break. It was his sister’s wedding and as cliche as it sounds, the person holding his heart was to be one of the bridesmaids. You see, y/n wasn’t just someone he could ignore or try to run away from in sheer hope that the inevitable heartbreak wouldn’t reach him. But alas, as most stories go, theirs had a beginning and an end. A start like no other with the juxtaposed feelings of the new year’s fireworks and the calmest Han river picnic in one of those days that everything just is, and that’s enough.

They met at a family dinner the Jung family was hosting in celebration of the new year back in ‘21. “You HAVE to come with me y/n, I won’t accept a no this time around!”. Making her best puppy face at her best friend didn’t seem to work because two hours later she was in the parking lot of one of the fanciest restaurants in Seoul and dressed to the nines and waiting to meet Jiwoo’s boyfriend so they can all go into the private room they were having the feast at. “Jiwoo ~ please don’t leave me alone once b/n comes, your brother is gonna be here and I’m so embarrassed already” y/n hopelessly said to her friend. “I don’t know why you’re so nervous y/n, just because you like his group doesn’t mean he’ll think anything of it, he’s used to people recognizing him. Also you’re not just anyone! You’re my closest friend, my family loves you and as far as Mickey is concerned, you’re as part of the family as this one here” she says pointing to her love-struck boyfriend with her know determination in her eyes. Breathing deeply y/n goes in, arms linked with her best friend as to not lose her but more so to ground her because she was about to meet the Jung Hoseok, in the flesh and it’s not like she didn’t want to meet him, she was thrilled but also aware of the “don’t meet your heroes” phrase even though she knew the rest of the family and found it hard to think he’d be anything but the amazing person they all seem to be. And so a bit (a lot) nervous, with an appetite and a kick-ass outfit she puts on a brave face and gets ready for a night she would never forget. 

The way Hoseok saw it, it was exciting to finally be able to spend the holidays with his family, eat a delicious dinner and then off to the family house for some needed sleep as the next couple of days would be nothing short of a celebration. The New Year finally gave him and the members a well deserved break (having filmed all their holiday content earlier in the summer as weird as it sounds) and now he could relax and enjoy being himself to the total extent of the word, it was going to be great. All of the sudden, he saw a new face come through the obnoxiously big double doors of the restaurant's room and before he could say anything he heard his mom. “Y/N darling! We’re so happy you were able to join us, we were wondering when we’d see you again, you’ve been busy with work-” and as his mom continued talking to this stranger who she seemed to know well enough to hug, he couldn’t help but stare at her, silently and adoringly. This was the last place he expected to meet anyone new really but he was pleasantly surprised nonetheless. See you would think that he’d be tired of always meeting new people and being active in most social environments he was thrown into, and he was - but this right here, right now, felt like destiny. He usually left all that lovey, destiny stuff to jungkook, for the maknae truly believed to his core that he would hear bells ringing when he met the love of his life. He now wasn’t too convinced he was wrong. From the entrance of the room he failed to notice his sister staring at him, a knowing smile on her face. “Hobi-ah! How are you? How’s everything going?” He snapped out of his trance-like state and turned to Jiwoo with a bright smile on his face and a faint blush on his cheeks, hoping she didn’t catch him, but he knew her too well to assume anything but. 

After warm hugs and a bit of catching up with her friend’s mom, y/n was left alone before Jiwoo called her to come and join the little group. “Hobi~ this is y/n, y/n this is my brother Hoseok”. Awestruck, both of them, and they all could see it but them. a stuttering, smiles all around type of meet-cute of two people that didn’t know were destined to be until this very moment.

[diagonal-queen]

HI STILL NIGHTGOWN ANON. im a silly little fella. I JUST SAW THE OTHER POST. IM MOTIVATED. IM GLAD YOU LIKE THE IDEAS! ILL TRY AND THINK OF MORE.

- i see... so you have showed poe popipo?? alright next up on the chopping block: 'AaaAaaaAaa'

- i personally LOVE rabbits. Just imagine little karl with little holland lop bunny :) OKOK THATS MY PERSONAL PREF HAHA

- imagine reader is a fellow writer, and they meet at like.. this writing convention or something like that, going to like the same publisher/editor?? thats how they met

- what if you met through ranpo? again, reader also writes and has like weird ideas and hes like: i gochu. i introduce you to racoon man! you: .o. hes perfect.

- reader reviewing poe ideas and just being like: bro that wont work r u stupid

- reader sitting on poes lap while he writes and complaining about him writing too much

- poe gets a hand injury bc he writes too much and reader has to take care of him (babying him)

- poe and ranpo have 'friendly' playdates (although they like to call it a debate between skills) and reader like you said, is the mediator between the two.

- reader and ranpo are besties. poe being the sugar daddy he is, buys reader everything they want. reader then proceeds to take all snacks and stuff to share with ranpo. poe then has to monitor both of their sugar intakes because... well...

- poe babysitting reader and ranpo

- ranpo babysitting reader and poe

- trio being unsupervised (jk kunikidas there to save the day)

- ranpo dies and reader uses poe as therapy/replacement. poe accepts their date proposal because he liked them. OF COURSE RANPO WOULDNT DIE THOUGH BC HES TOO SMART I LOVE HIM

- vice versa. poe dies and reader uses ranpo as therapy/replacement. ranpo accepts their date/proposal because he had his eye on them. SAME THING THO HES TOO BABY TO DIE

IDK these thoughts came randomly to my head while i was writing them. TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF MY LOVE! ❤️

nightgown you're like a stray cat that shows up every now and then but instead of me giving you treats you're giving me headcanons and i appreciate it because poe is the blorbo ever 🤧 i love all of these so much WHAT

poe can't get behind miku he'd be like 'BUT SHE'S A ROBOT ON THE COMPUTER. HOW CAN A ROBOT BE REAL' 'no edgar she's a vocaloid' 'THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE' lol, also poe lowkey really does seem like a bunny type. those rabbits are very cute <3

it would be very cute if poe and author!reader met because they had the same publisher but it would also be adorable if they met at a convention that they were both featured at and they were like huge fans of each other, so all the bookworms there who went to meet you and poe just watch the two of you awkwardly interact ksjskskjs

there are SO many ways you could fit ranpo into a poe x reader. i've written myself a little bit of a 'ranpo with a younger sister who likes poe's books meets him and falls immediately' already lmao but ranpo, knowing that poe can be awkward sometimes, would probably deadass just lock you two in a room with a bunch of pens and blank manuscripts and be like 'go on then' LMAO

poe's books and poems are basically always a hit but when he's tired and suffering writer's block some of his manuscripts are a bit iffy. you've had to help him out of his slump a time or two. get all the terrible drabbles out of his system before he finally presents you with another banger of a novel. don't be too relentless with him though he might cry

and of course the beloved poe scenario where reader is like 'POE STOP' and he's just writing light yagami style like 'NEVER'. he won't stop if you sit in his lap or complain though. he is a hard worker and very creative, and much like myself must get his ideas out or he'll forget them immediately. maybe if you manage to distract him somehow? put on the nightgown JYGSJKHKKJBRKTW IM SORRY

if he hurts his hand...imagine poe being so sad because he's physically unable to write- he'd definitely try anyway, but you need to be like NO, BAD. you do get to spend a bit more time together than normal which is nice, but once he's healed it'll take a miracle to pull him away from his desk

trying to be the diplomat for these two would be a nightmare. ranpo's silly, poe's awkward, they're both bickering ;-; at least if you team up with ranpo you can convince poe to buy the two of you candy (he really doesn't wanna, but...T-T). you two are far too excitable and talkative for his own good. on the flip side, ranpo would just give up taking care of the two of you immediately because EUGH romance and EUGH being quiet and EUGH socratic circles lmao

also you three are lowkey a menace to society. like in all honesty you solve crimes together and work towards a safer society but also, two chatterboxes being followed around by a tall awkward man wearing a cape and accompanied by a raccoon? yeah.

i would HATE to write a fic in which either of my beloved boys die but picture this- you're dating poe and he dies somehow. you and ranpo are very sad, you bond a little more after his death and eventually begin dating. it's been a while and you and ranpo are still together, but then poe reappears out of who knows where and sees that you're dating his best friend... (vice versa works too- either way it's the WORST)