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#idk it still sometimes feels weird to be doing things for myself and to help myself and my mental health
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I start lexapro next week and part of me is really hopeful that it will make my anxiety somewhat more manageable and the other part of me is anxious about taking medication for anything 😅
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feeling sick constantly in the background all the time is like.. usually negligible-ish.. until multiple various chronic background issues all happen to overlap at once and then it’s like 
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#Like usually I cycle between like. joint pain issues. chest muscle injury stuff. back pain. stomach problems. headaches. etc.#There is never a day that I feel totally normal for the most part. but it's usually just little things here and there on and off#chronic things that seem to flare up sometimes. But then every once in a while it's like the flare ups align and I'll have 6 of the problems#at the same time and then is AaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA#For some reason it's okay to deal with one or two of these things at any given time. but if I have to deal with like 3+ at once#or two of the old ones plus one NEW thing I've never had before or etc. etc.#I just can't even do anything. I run around stressed out of my mind unable to focus on any tasks or do anything but feel bad#then I cant even play games or do fun stuff becuause my brain wont let me be distracted from fixating on the fact that I feel bad#It's kind of the same way that it's stressful for me to go into grocery stores because my brain LITERALLY just is not capable of tuning out#all of the noises and lights and sensory information - so it' gets overwhelming quickly. I also just literally cannot tune out sensory infor#mation from my body. so if something feels even a LITTLE weird or a LITTLE painful or is even slightly different than usual#especially if it's overlapping with multiple other 'low level chronic pain' type things then my brain is just like.. being given way too muc#h information that it still cant tune out and then I can't focus and just walk around in a daze for however long until one of the issues#goes away on it's own (like joint pain flare ups usually come and go etc. etc.). or until I see a doctor abut whatever the new thing is#and maybe something they do or say actually helps or etc. etc.#Idk I have SO SO much I want to do the beginning of the year and so many projects to finish and things to post and schedules I have#written out for me to get on (like excercising more consistently and etc.) and it's just furstrating for my brain to just be like#ah.. nope.. we are not doing that. instead we are going to be completely incapacitated by a host of physical issues#which I think most ''normal people'' would just ignore like ''oh yeah I'll just load myself up on ibuprophen and coffee and energy#drinks and advil and sleep supplements and this and that'' or whatever but I can't do that it just makes stuff worse. I have to just sit for#days having a mind battle like 'okay yes we're having these problems.. but we can still like.. do SOMETHING right? we could like.. write#or draw. or things that don't take much energy'' and brain is just like NO!!! WE CANT!!! BECAUSE!! THING IS WEIRD!!!' and it's like okay#but thing is going to be weird. there's nothing we can do about thing being weird right now. so we should just focus on something else#'NO!! CANNOT TUNE OUT THING BEING WEIRD!! lets just fixate on it instead and wander aimlessly from thing to thing never able#to fully focus on any other task. hee hee''. anyway. hhghh.. sometimes I just get tired of having Various Ailments at any given time#especially unexplained ones or weird recurring problems that doctors haven't done much about because then it lends to paranoia like#'what if something is seriously wrong but I just dont know it yet?' which could be the case. I mean hopefully not. but I just hate stuff#being unexplained. because if there's no clear answer then the answer could be anything. even somehting bad. *** :V#ANYWAY gghhb... just bothered at the moment. I was going to come here like 'hey maybe I could post some drafts or pictures or something that#could feel productive!' but.. i dont feel like it. i dont care. too focused on Bad Feeling. just going to complain instead lol
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year
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...
#it is truly so wild to go from feeling miserable and hopeless all the time for... lets look at my excel sheet#the last 23 days. then to suddenly rocket up to smiling to myself all day. the world is so fucking beautiful#for no rational reason aside from what i have to assume is a chemical shift in my body#like is this what happy ppl feel like all the time? its truely so crazy. have i always been like this?#did i not notice this was a thing? like ive definitely noticed it in the last year but like ???#my suspicion is that it doesnt actually last long enough to b considered hypomania but like idk i should see a doctor probably lol#u would think being happy would make it easier to do things but i just keep forgetting to do them and just like spacing out lol bc rn i#feel chill. even tho i need to make a list of the shit i gotta do by Friday. bleh. but idk it makes being in thr lab so much nicer bc i#mean. i still dont give a fuck abt what im doing but im like fuck it this isnt gonna b my problem in like 2-3 months. even tho im sure ill#still have to write up everything. but idk. it also makes it easier to b like. ok so i kno what my problems r lets plan yo make things not#so horrible so u dont just live a miserable life and then like die having lived a life of fear. like its so crazy how much easier thst is#to do rn??? well see how long it lasts but yea v strange. wish i could control my fucking focus tho. like that would b great#its like the fucking painting of hypnose. my focus is like a lighthouse wildly swinging its light around until it sometimes blasts me in#the face. like not helpful. i need to b able to do things.#i guess the weird thing rn is thst while i feel happy. i also have this like simmering fear of irrational things. like when i used to live#in my parents basement and i was terrified of the dark rooms down there at night. like that kind of childish baseless fear#but like im in i tiny tiny apartment lol like bro what r u scared of??? silly silly silly#idk hopefully it holds out the whole rest of the week and then i can travel and see my parents like !!! yo !!! happy vibes :-D#that would b kinda unhinged lmao. i doubt itll last thst long. its already slipped from this morning so we shall see#unrelated
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izzy-b-hands · 1 year
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Cancelled the in person interview for today after discussing phone interview with Mum and Housemate last night (and the numerous red flags and cost of the lyft there and back for a job that ultimately the place wouldn't be able to convince me to take if offered, bc the general consensus was 'this is literally likely to be as bad as the current job BUT with the added cost of lyfts back and forth that they wouldn't be paying enough to offset, why on earth would you (me) take this job lmaooooo')
Which works out good bc the ongoing Mum trauma stuff is hitting hard as soon as I've woken and maybe I can get the Big Cry out today. Or write down any of the memories that have been playing on repeat in my mind
(with all this said, yes, I still asked and do legitimately care abt my mum's opinion and experience with jobs despite this; yes it feels weird; no I don't know how healthy that is or not lmao but I'm gonna lean towards Not Healthy bc im discovering that the work my previous doc did certainly uncovered this codependency and trauma which absolutely was a great help but like...we didn't actually really untangle any of it so I could try and untangle myself from my mum, even from 1600+ miles from one another. So. probably not healthy.)
#text post#Housemate was the far more helpful one of ae and mum tho and im very grateful ae took the time to talk over the interview with me#to help me figure out if doing the in person was worth it#mum did kind of help in that she pointed out several dakota eye like red flags from the employer that in retrospect yeah#were flying right in front of my face but i just. want to find better work so it's hard to ignore the red flags sometimes#until someone else goes uhhhhh hey maybe not this job no matter how desperate you feel#which is what it boiled down to more or less in discussion with both of them last night#it's just a weird thing of mum was still helpful and im glad i had a call with her but also it was low key triggering#and part of me wants to call her back and ask if she knows that she's a major part of why i struggle to say no to anyone#who feels even vaguely an authority figure over me no matter what my feelings are or if im being hurt#because id rather be obedient and pleasing than independent and honest (& possibly disappoint ppl with the latter)#but let's be real she wouldn't have an answer. it's beyond her to even think of this stuff#she'd be upset and offended and I'd be groveling like usual to try and make up for daring to question any part of our relationship#the same groveling i do on autopilot for any potential offense because it doesn't matter even if i asked & was given permission#im still always finding there's something i need to ask her forgiveness for anyway#but i love her and am incredibly grateful for her and how much she's given of herself to me as a single mum#idk im gonna shut up abt emotions for now and figure out what on earth im doing with myself today
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ironmanstan · 2 years
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So much work to do but im actually doing it which scares me more than the fact i have work to do and u can tell bc i keep fucking posting like this
#laid out all my sketches i needed.. updated my carrd projects list... finalized art piece.. sketched concept.. studied from art book#fucking insane. insane. so scary so scary.#like idk it is so weird i think being depressed mustve made my adhd so much worse ?? i couldve never done this before#everything is still hard and i have to genuinely push and will myself to even attempt working on anything but like#i have enough will to win and start ? i dont lose my focus as much when im in it and if i do i know to take a break bc im understimulated?#i still forget basic things and to do things a lot but i dont catastrophize about it as much i get upset and then just fix it..#its so weird did i just fucking learn to self regulate??? is that what i was missing this whole time ???????#u get punished for like lacking focus and self regulation and have a defeatist mindset bc doing anything = punishment#but then you break through that fear and just throw yourself in and make yourself do things and u can work WITH the adhd????#my parents fucking scammed me bro imagine if i had been raised and like helped instead of called worthless for everytime i fuck up#WHY DO I HAVE TO LEARN THIS AT ALMOST 19. STUPID STUPID STUPID#even my old therapists.. oh you have adhd maybe if you just change your diet you will function WOWWW SOOO HELPFUL#HOW DOES THAT HELP ME LEARN TO BE AWARE OF MY SELF AND NEEDS AND REGULATE THEM TO WORK WITH MY MENTAL HANDICAPS HUH. QUICKLY#stupid... i hate every adult in the world you are all useless and do nothing <- is an adult#its so crazy 2 me to function even a little... i guess i learned easily finally bc i self analyze way too much sometimes#but like i genuinely for years predicted id just like. go right back to being majorly suicidal or something in college#bc i could barely handle highschool or getting assignments done#now im meeting deadlines on the reg... like idk. i think it is such a rare and strange and kind of sick feeling#to know like young you would look at you and be surprised or shocked . and its so sad bc like idk.#its like oh i never believed in myself huh. or believed i could have a place in the world and function and be alright#and then u have to grieve all the time you spent never trying bc u didnt think trying without failing was possible like what the hell!!!#crazy...#the gamer speaks uwu
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monsterbisexual · 1 month
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bleh x__x
#p#the pain thats always there is way easier to manage (unless there's smth else goin on physically or brain wise)#like its predictable n im used to it n i can almoat forget its there#so i think maybe thats why any other pain/weird body thing is extra overwhelming cuz its w/e new/different thing#on top of the like usual feeling shitty w pain+tired that im used to#its hard being patient w myseelf abt how i feel especially cuz w/e extra stuff is probs more manageable for anyone else#plus ofc big feelings n crazy n overwhelmed stupideasily#but i shld work on not being mad at myself for how i feel or my reactions to stuff#cuz its different but itssss hard not to immediately feel ridiculous n shitty. idk#back to my original thing tho even the like baseline pain n tiredness gets to me sometimes which is frustrating#cuz its the stuff im more used to like i said. but i mean it still sucks to feel like shit even if its expected ? idk#i should be doing more to work on it like i read articles that exercising helps w f*bromyalgia(?) which is if not the exact thing#like officiallybut everything i read is like ya that me lol#n i read the othee day that like ya short term it might suck (for me it def makes pain worse#n after working 8hr shifts im like outta commission anyway#but maybe like in the long run eventually itd help? but im not patient n dont wanna work at anything rip#being outta shape def doesnt help. anywau idk the point iwas making w/e#just feel guilty all the time or i guess nah its shame. w/e#despite everything its so hard not to believe everything wrong w me isn't just an inherent Me thing#like someone else could have my exact current body+mind n be fine n do lots n just be better than iam#not rly relevant but i randomly found some reddit comment where someone w f*bro mentioned#feeling like they have a high pain tolerance (from just like always hurting to some extent)#but a low pain threshold which i took to mean like u hurt easily which ya me#ok i wasted a lotta this break bitching in these tags im doneeee now#usual work pain which is especially the back always n is rhe worst of it + my neck + period pain which is so bad everytime#time to dieeee#3 more hours gangggg
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bionic-penis · 4 months
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Erm !! Lil rant in da tags bc !! Erm !!
#idk but i feel like im going in the right direction for once#i feel like i struggled for so long with so many things#and a lot of it was me but i feel like this year rlly gave me space to grow#and i have grown. i think i get to say that#im not longer lonely and sad and angry all the time. like if you compared me to who i was four years ago you would be shocked#im a lot more confident. i feel comfortable accepting ppls friendship and whatever that entails. i dont get upset as easily#i mean even just comparing me to my senior yr of highschool. or even last year#and i think a large part of that is that things dont feel so one-sided anymore. like its not just me anymore#im not the only one helping out at home anymore so i can finally focus on myself#and ive made so many great friends that have opened me up like some kind of oyster#like the amount of times ive been called an extrovert is crazy bc i have NEVER been called that before#and i rlly think its thanks to all these wonderful people who have given me a chance and a space to be unapologetically me#even if its weird or freaky or sometimes a little off#i spent a long time inside myself bc i was scared but as time goes on i feel that fear less and less#im just really glad. im like genuinely happy#n especially when i look back on my old posts where i was in so much pain im just glad we were able to get to this point#im just surrounded by immensely cool people. my partner. my friends. my professors. my doctors.#like i was making progress before but i feel like ive been able to truly start healing this year#i love you all. you know who you are. erm!! if you see this post n then see me i will pretend i never made it !!! so erm!!!#king magnum thirst trap WHEN#rambles#sowwy for the lore dump do you still think my cock is huge
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motherforthefamicom · 5 months
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random assortment of drawings i might as well post
#scribbles#ocposting#furry tag#gif#eyestrain#bright colors#mother series#the gifs showing up kinda weird i think thats just a thing on my end though#have noticed it happens a lot for me w transparent gifs on here. idk#gif was for a dta thingy btw uhhh#‘cowcheese’ thing is for my sisters weezer parody where theyre rats nd instead called cheezer#words on the one on its right are lyrics frm heres to you by zebrahead cuz it was stuck in my head..#oh also the middle drawing on the first row of three was color picked frm the cover of phoenix also by zebrahead#first drawing i just made cuz i was messing w preset brushes nd thought itd be funny#long one w the four characters is.. little goody two shoes characters But Furries . lol#oh the one left of the cheezer thing was smthn i drew in class w my friends prisma colors instead of working on my actual art project#actually started that now its driving me crazy cuz i made like a million versions of the sketch messinf w the composition#and im still not sure entirely what i do and dont wanna include and also the actual paper im doing my final on isnt like. wide enough to fi#things in nicely 💔💔💔 also i never planned out colors like an idiot so im making that up as i go and avoiding it a lot aghhghh#giegue drawings are honestly just here cuz i think hes funny#sorry for the paragraph of tags i love talking abt things#uhhhmhmmh i kinda hate postint stuff most places online now ngl#i have so much more art i COULD post but it just feels weird idk#no one really interacts w my stuff much anymore anyways like idk <- this is jot me fishing for pity or disregarding anyone who does leave#nice comments i appreciate that stuff SO mucu it means the world to me. i just dont feel super strongly abt posting shit anymore i feel lik#i have much better peace of mind just leaving things to myself sometimes#as much as i like sharing things it just hasnt been convenient lately and also ive just been getting like.. very paranoid abt a lot of#things over these past years and the constant posting everything o. tumblr thing didnt help much#🙃 okay ill stop rambling now have a nice day
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noxtivagus · 2 years
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wfjdkxkjsalkdlfdsjsalk
#🌙.rambles#help my mind is wanderingggg#i'm. stresssed. and anxious. and overthinking today#wwww i have so much to do...#i'm stressing about how#goddamn i hate how#fuck. hahhfasdkfs bcs like idk how to write or explain it one by one rn but#i need to. accomplish. achieve. as much as possible. as quickly and efficient as possible#maybe in my desire to succeed i end up losing sight of some important things#but. my yeah on success in general is like. maybe i'm a bit insane. obsessed. i would call myself a fool#but i can't help it when i think about how my present and past shortcomings and faults and mistakes could#impact and hinder me in the future#and so i always /need/ to constantly be improving. i need to be way better right now. i can't lose that in the future#bcs it feels like for the past years i've been falling behind my potential. n my peers#but i'm also aware i'm being too harsh on myself. i still perform well enough. but i know i could do much better#n it hurts when i think about what i missed out on. i need it all. maybe it's selfish of me but god i'm a madman when it comes to . yeah#i've always told others that it's alright to do what you can in a given moment. and i do stand by that#i'm patient with others but not quite so yet with myself it seems#a weird mix of self-love and self-loathe. the latter makes me confused about if the former really is even true#sometimes it is. it's dormant there always i think. but the hatred gets overwhelming and makes me forget it at times#another thing is how i tend to be overly critical of myself in past events. even if i was happy then / my mind just sorta uh#i hate it sm how it kind of twists myself. not all the time tho there are times where i reflect n it's pure happiness#but right now. is one of those times where. it's so so dark n i know i'm being too critical of myself but i can't do anything about it#there's no end to my regrets. i hate them and i wish i could just move on but i can't deny how much#how much it fucking hurts. how much these burdens weigh me down. n how hard it gets some days when i'm stuck & lost in my head#like in games when i forget time-limited events. ffxiv... that still wears me down. i try not to dwell on it too much bcs it hurts#i'm so. i'm so incompetent. no matter what i do it'll never be enough. i can't take back my mistakes and shortcomings and#amends i make and further efforts to the future. will forever be insufficient in the grand whole of things#i can just do what i can n be satisfied w that but it's so hard. i don't compare myself w others but i do to better versions of myself#tbd
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catboybiologist · 2 months
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Happy tgirl tummy Tuesday, from Lassen Peak!
I'll have a lot more to say about this in the future, but uh, this is past Sierra again. Sorry if I don't respond to anything this Tuesday!
Assorted tags (which may not work properly bc my internet is literally too shit to link a blog when I tag it apparently?)
@xenasaur @lilithtransrights @anarqueeen @whalesharkcat @godless-of-the-hunt @glowingemberz @shakukon-to @sagasolejma @eruditegeek @havingsecondthots @puzzlecatt
Minor ramble under the cut.
I've been thinking a bit about my "role" in tgirl tummy Tuesday. I know this is such a small thing, but a weird kind of guilt has set in.
TTT is a body positivity movement. And I'm not the kind of build it's aimed for. I'm not skinny, but I'm also not fat. I'm also posting things that less abled people aren't able to do recently, and idk how that comes off.
Thing is, TTT is still a huge part of my own body acceptance. Maybe I'm not fat, but I'm a 6 foot tall brick-built tranny dyke that likes to get dirty and show off non-"feminine" parts of my life and body sometimes. Posting myself outdoors, showing that trans people belong wherever they want to belong, helps me accept myself as the gender weirdo I am.
But I know it's not the intent, and I know how it might come off.
If people feel I'm eroding the original intent of tgirl tummy Tuesday, feel free to DM or anon me. I won't post the asks, just read them. And then I can change what I emphasize in these posts- I've had some challenges with my weight that fat acceptance as a whole has helped me deal with as well, and I can limit posts more to that.
Anyways. As said earlier, I probs won't be able to respond for a while, but happy Tuesday!
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lilypadding · 7 months
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👒 maraudersdenier Follow
sometimes to feel alive I rewatch danganronpa season 1 and 2
#idk it was peak series to me #they had the hope's peak arc going #season 3 was completely different
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🪴 soniasansflowers Follow
I can't believe the surviving casts of DR are just walking around now??? you survived a genuine killing game and now you're just waking up on tuesday and driving to starbucks to get a drink????? what???????? 
#danganronpa #scribby.txt
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🧚‍♀️ loserrrville Follow
sorry but I still think it's funny that dr2 was the only season where they revived the cast 💀
#and the only cast that deserved it was s15 but you guys aren't ready for that convo #sdr2 #dr15
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🧸 danganwrongpers Following
🎮 monokumasmilk Following
Do you guys ever think about how everyone in Danganronpa isn't even real...? We'll never know their actual backstory, especially not from their perspective. Their memories are always wiped and replaced with hijinks fabrications. And we've already talked about how everything is real to them because it's in their head, but it's not. Their memories are built on lies. nobody in this show is real. 
🧨 fdr38frontlines Follow
average danganronpa fan discovers acting
#the reblog is funny and everything but op is onto something #I've gotten so uncomfortable whenever I think about it for too long #yeah they're all consenting adults #and they signed up for it knowing what would happen #but...
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☁️ komaedasoup Following
remember when people got so weird about nagito and hajime hanging out (and being actual friends in interviews) that they stopped talking to each other just to avoid you freaks shipping them 😭
👤 despairinglyhopeful-deactivated
they probably stopped talking publicly not privately 👀
☁️ komaedasoup Following
THIS 💥 POST 💥 IS 💥 ABOUT💥 YOU 💥
#be NORMAL??!?!
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🍇 junkorenoshimer Follow
everyone's suddenly so obsessed with danganronpa not being "ethical" but how did you guys not realize this show is kinda fucked when that one interview with makoto came out and he literally says he got nightmares of the game and intense survivor's guilt. like the signs have always been there
🎮 monokumasmilk Following
Yet you never made a post about it until now did you?
3.1k notes
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🔑 wannabekirigiri Following
KYOKO'S RED CARPET LOOK??!?!?! 😍😍😍😍😍 SOBBING AND CRYING ADN SKINNING MYSELF RUGHT NOW
#i am normal so normal so
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🎀 sdr2-supremacy Following
the things I would let hajime hinata do to me
🍡 hinatahajimeofficial Following
Okay let me run you over
🎀 sdr2-supremacy Following
HAJIME??????
#help I forgot he was real #DOES HE SCROLL THROUGH HIS OWN TAG??? 
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🔑 wannabekirigiri Following
all my mutuals will be very happy to know I GOT CAST FOR SEASON 53!!!!
#for legal reasons this is a joke haha 
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based entirely on @okthatsgreat 's original post
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zo3mess · 6 months
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Laundry girl
Summary: Laundromat is usually empty so late at night except for Adrian, until it isn’t. But there is no reason for him to get nervous around his new laundry buddy, right?
Warnings: mentions of violence, mention of death, mention of period blood, foul language and that’s all? If you notice something that might be triggering, just let me know. Also female reader and no use Y/N as far as I remember.
Word count: 3.8K
Extra songs for this fic
Masterlist of my works
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Note: My ongoing brain rot with Vigilante, inspiration from the song Laundry Girl from Ludo (I politely stole a lot from their lyrics) and need to practice my English before test somehow escalated into this. This is a mess, nothing makes sense idk. Honestly, I have no idea why I decided to make it public, but hey, bad content is still content right? English is not my first language, so if you see any grammar mistakes or weird words, just ignore them. However every criticism is welcomed and appreciated.
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Oh, the sweet contrast of late spring. Days warm enough to let bare skin be caressed by heating sun, yet cold nights leave shivers down the spine, a fleeting reminder that the carelessness of summer is not entirely there yet. Exactly on one of those nights, Adrian found himself in a 24-hour laundromat down the street from his small apartment. Neon lights from the sign were illuminating dark streets as well as the faint lights from inside. He didn’t like that smell that lingered in the air. Fragrances from detergents that are far too strong and mix in an unpleasant whiff, plus the disinfection and the smell from forgotten socks that got stuck somewhere between a wall and washing machine. No, thanks. He could buy his own washing machine, which would be much more practical, but why make anything easy when you can make it difficult.
When Adrian entered the familiar environment, he sighed at the strong smell hitting his nose. Temperature in the laundromat was slightly warmer than the one outside, but not enough for him to take off his hoodie. Adrian settled his bag with dirty clothes on a scraped metal table in the middle of the cramped room. There was one thing he liked about this laundromat, even though it was open almost nonstop, no one was ever there late at night like he was. Usually. Sometimes few drunks were sleeping peacefully in the corner, desperately seeking just a tad bit of warmth, but as long they didn’t do anything, Adrian had no reason to pay any attention to them. Tonight was different, his regular loneliness and peace was disturbed by another person entering the room. However screeching of old doors, quick gust of cold air and heavy tired footsteps did not alert him at all.
His mind was too focused on a single task before him, getting rid of dried blood that was plastered on his black undershirt. The one he wears under his chest plate, one that was stitched up too many times from all the slashing and tearing. Will he ever buy a new one? Of course not. Not until he finds a shirt that looks and feels the same as this one. Adrian cursed the guy that got his suit in such disheveled state. That bastard deserved a bullet to his head even before he managed to get Vigilante’s suit all messy and sticky with blood.
,,Do you need help with that?” you ask with a soft voice, a smile on your face while you look at the stranger in front of you expectantly ,,I don’t want to call myself a professional, but I can pretty much clean every stain. Or at least I haven’t been defeated so far,’’
Your question caught him off guard, his hands wincing a little. Green eyes glancing up at you with startled expression. When did you get here? Were you watching him the whole time? Crouched up above his shirt, scrubbing away with bile soap, tip of his tongue stuck out in concentration. You leaned across the table, examining his work. ,,Ketchup?’’
,,Blood actually,’’ Why would it be ketchup? He doesn’t even like ketchup. It does not taste like tomatoes at all! Goddamn lying sauce. ,,I got a really bad nosebleed. I get that a lot, that’s why my clothes are always bloody.’’ No other reason of course.
,,If your clothes are always bloody you should have no problem with cleaning them right? But I gotta admit blood is a hell of an enemy when it dries and sits on the fabric for a while. Just put it in cold water to soak off, that should do it.’’
,,Why do you know so much about cleaning blood?’’ Adrian asks with suspicion in his voice. Eyebrows furrow under his glasses and his eyes stare at you intently. Paranoia creeping up on him again.
,,Well I don’t know if you noticed but I’m a woman. Periods teach you a lot. I’m not some blood-stained killer I swear.’’ You say the last sentence with a wide smile, shaking your head before returning to your own work. Throwing dirty laundry into the washing machine without even glancing back at Adrian. He was standing there with fingers tapping on the metal table, burning a hole in the back of your skull with his stare. Yeah, you better not be. He thinks to himself.
He forced a smile and went back to scrubbing, he did not have the time to soak it off, he needed it ready for tomorrow, preferably without blood. You paid him no mind and pushed the button to start the cycle. With a sigh you took out a small book from the laundry basket you brought with you and sat down on a screeching chair nestled between other washing machines. If you have to sit it out here you might as well do something productive.
,,Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy,” his voice made you flinch and you glanced at him absentmindedly ,,I love that movie!”
,,Book’s even better.” You acknowledged his giddiness with simple words. The truth is you enjoyed reading books after you watched movies that were based on them. Sometimes they were better, sometimes worse, but they always expanded the story and the universe.
,,Reading is for nerds plus it can’t be that much better.” Doubting Thomas, of course. Adrian quickly waved off the idea that books can be better than movies.
,,There is extremely many things that did not make it in the movie, not gonna mention directive changes. But go on, live your life without all the great details.” You returned to your reading, barely registering quiet mumbling coming from Adrian’s direction.
,,What are you doing here anyway? I come here almost every Saturday and I am alone here.” He won’t drop it, curiosity gets the better of him most of the time, why would this be any different? It is suspicious that another girl is washing her laundry in the middle of the night. The fact he is currently getting rid of blood from the undershirt he wears out to kill criminals is an entirely different story.
,,My washing machine broke and I don’t have spare money to buy a new one. I’ll be coming here until my next salary.” The other option is attempting to fix it yourself, that would be a death sentence for the washing machine and you too.
,,But why so late? It’s way past midnight.”
,,Couldn’t sleep.” You just shrugged. You did not care if he believed you or not, it was true. Your new neighbors were blasting music practically all evening, it was better to wait it out elsewhere. ,,It seems we will be meeting each other more often. I didn’t catch your name.”
,,It’s Adrian.” His voice was hesitant, suspicion rising and falling with each word you said. He’s not sure if you are a poor soul with dirty laundry or a spy hired to watch the infamous Vigilante. How would you even know his secret identity? He had no idea, but sometimes it is better to account for all possibilities. You nodded at his answer and told him your name in return. Little something he burned into the back of his mind.
The more time you spent together in the chilly room, words drowned out by buzzing washing machines, the more you got along. Starting off with awkward small talk, through petty debate whenever books are better than movies, all the way to wishing each other goodnight as well as Adrian wishing you had a monster under your bed and parting ways. Only if he knew monster wasn’t the one creeping up on you in your sleep. Thoughts of tonight busying your mind.  
------------
The second time he met you was two weeks from the last encounter, just the way he mentioned previously. This time you were there first, already occupying one machine with white clothes while the other part of your laundry sat in a basket nearby. You quickly shot him a smile and he greeted you in return.
,,You’re here early.’’ Adrian commented almost under his breath as he put full duffel bag on the table and began sorting his clothes by colors.
,,Yeah well, no reason for it really. Maybe curiosity got the best of me and I got here earlier just to see if you would came like you said you would.’’ It seems that old habits die hard. Unknown to you, Adrian was always on time in his routines. Even if he wanted to do his laundry on a different day or at a different time, his body would urge him to do things in the exact same way.
The conversation went on quite smoothly, like good old friends meeting. Usual chatter about their days, unnecessary details of “total baller” breakfast from Adrian’s side, gossip about migraine-inducing coworkers from yours. Adrian attention was glued to every word you said, piece by piece putting together a bigger picture. He can’t even remember the last time someone actually wanted to talk with him and not just wave him off with dismissive answers.
,,- And then she put a fucking poster on our shared fridge. That stupid one with cat on a tree with “Hang in there” under it. And I thought our office could not get any more stereotypical,” you were throwing your hands around, visibly stating your annoyance at your coworker Debbie. ,,I don’t want to “Hang in there” I would much rather hang myself and I swear to God I will hang her in janitor’s closet if she puts another poster on the fridge or tells me a cheesy joke about how much she hates her husband, it’s not funny.”
She’s joking, Adrian, don’t sweat it out. There is no way she could kill anyone. His inner thoughts creep up to him again. From time to time, he would appreciate if his Vigilante mind left Adrian alone. ,,So uhhh… You don’t like cheesy jokes?” Yeah, great save, do not mention hanging Debbie.
,,I like jokes, just not stupid ones. To be honest I can’t remember the last time someone told me a funny joke. I guess it is a curse of modern times, humor changed.” You shrugged your shoulders and walk around the crumpled room, looking around and taking in details you missed on your first visit.
,,I could tell you a funny joke. I know plenty of them!” Adrian’s enthusiasm made you stop in your tracks. He’s just standing there, a wide smile forming on his face, fingers fidgeting with hem of dirty shirt that laid in mountain of laundry on the table in front of him.
Even if you told him no, Adrian has decided to recite every joke he knew. Some of them were horrible, some of them were… better. Yet it did not made you laugh. It was a fun game to pass the time, he told you lousy jokes and after each one he patiently waited for your reaction with puppy eyes. You, on the other hand, had tried so hard to not even let a corner of your mouth turn upwards. The bigger satisfaction it brought the more he stammered as he tried to remember another joke. Adrian could not let himself be a loser in this situation. He will not give up.
Not laughing at his jokes should be illegal. And that would make you a criminal. In that case, he would not feel bad if he had to take you out as Vigilante. And maybe if he got rid of you, he wouldn’t feel that irritating need late at night, body itching to go to the laundromat near his apartment to see if you couldn’t sleep either. If you’re scrubbing spilled wine from your shirt with cheap detergent before throwing it in a washing machine with the rest of your clothes. If you’re waiting patiently not only for your clothes to dry but also for that funny stranger with curly hair and a dorky smile to show up. Maybe then his mind would calm down again. He doesn’t need any more distractions in his head.
,,Knock knock,’’ he starts again, determined to win this imaginary joke war.
,,Come in,’’ you retort while chuckle is threatening to slip from your lips. Adrian’s arms slouch down his body, enthusiasm transforming into… Annoyance? He so desperately wants to see you smile, why can’t you comply? People usually laugh at his jokes, or more like they laugh at him. No matter the reason, people occasionally laugh in his presence alongside constant eye rolls. You haven’t done either and it is messing with him.
,,Knock knock,’’ a firmer repetition. He’s not going to get discouraged.
Determination is admirable in certain situations, in others it just leads to doom.  Like that one time when Adrian was chasing a thief down the street, low on bullets, ringing in his ears, lungs burning, but he could not forgive himself if that rat got away. All his attention was set on the dark figure way ahead of him that he did not notice a car when he sprinted across a badly lit street, ultimately knocking him down. Heavens were on his side that night, nothing serious happened except for a few nasty bruises and unrelenting remorse that haunted him following weeks. But the good kind of determination? That’s gonna win him a smile from a pretty girl in the laundromat.
,,Who’s there?’’ this time you decided to go along with his joke. These types of jokes are… foul, but you just want to see where he will land with it.
,,Honey bee,’’
,,Honey bee who?’’
,,Honey bee a dear and get that for me please?’’ Adrian says it with a wide smile and excitement in his voice. He points at your laundry beads that boost the scent. ,,It smells so good when you open it, can I try it?’’
You laugh just a bit. Fucking finally. Now Adrian felt like at the top of the world. He made you laugh, no matter if it was just a pitying laugh to get him to shut up, he decided to believe you actually found him funny and no one could take that from him. You noticed the dreamy look that plastered his face, especially when you let him borrow scented beads. Part of you cherished the fact he liked the ones you washed your clothes with every time and part of Adrian cherished the fact that now his clothes will smell like you before it wears out. That his sleeping shirt will carry part of you on those nights that he doesn’t see you here.
Wait, when did that happen? Smell of another person on his clothes should weird him out, it should give him goosebumps all over his pale skin. Why does it sound so comforting this time? Why does he want to keep part of you close? The last time he felt something similar was when his brother Gut died. They weren’t super close, but his death hit him like a train and he quite literally became a trainwreck. Adrian sat in his brother’s childhood room for hours, taking notes of all the small details, remembering the exact position of each and every piece of furniture. And at times when he felt close to breaking into tears, he took out his brother’s shirts. The familiarity and memories brought comfort. Comfort that disappeared as fast as it came.
This time he was not mourning death of someone close to him, this time he did not miss the feeling of adrenaline that he felt with Peacemaker when they shot appliances in forest or when they killed criminals together before he got locked up. This time Adrian felt a need to be close to someone he met just a few weeks ago, someone who barely knew him and had not gotten the chance to be taken back by his weirdness.
These thoughts and confusion followed him home that night. Not even the cold air could not break him out of trance. The way you laughed, the way you softly wished him goodnight when you parted ways, skin illuminated by purple neon light hanging above laundromat, and the way his now clean laundry smells like you since he begged for your scented beads. Pull yourself together Adrian.
------------------
,,I don’t understand how you might think Fargo is better than the Office or Better Call Saul for example. Saying it is the best show ever made is crazy.” Friendly banter about TV series was accompanied by clicking of your flip-flops as you made your way towards your apartment complex just a couple blocks away from the laundromat. Adrian had insisted that he walks you home this time, apparently he was afraid you might “fall asleep on your way home” since you two spent almost the whole night in the laundromat.
Not just doing laundry, you also brought your book, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and read out loud for him to hear the difference between book and movie. While you waited for your clothes to dry you two sat on uncomfortable chairs, you with book wide open, pages visible for Adrian to peek from behind your shoulder whenever he wanted. Though most of the time he spent with his eyes closed, face leaning on a stock of washing machines next to him, listening to your reading like a bedtime story. Even after your laundry was done you decided to stick around, competing who flicks quarters farthest, catching peanuts in your mouth and testing echo in every washing machine. Until you finally decided to head home and get at least few hours of sleep, by that time it was past 5 a.m.
Sun was lazily rising, yellow painted the sky but few dark clouds were spoiling the otherwise beautiful picture. The smell of rain was in the air, you both knew there was a storm coming on a calm Sunday morning. Few joggers passed you in a hurry. Early birds. Psychopaths. Not like Adrian wasn’t psychotic at least a bit, but he wasn’t that mad to get up so early to run in still-cold weather.
,,What do you think is the best show then?” he calmly asked and nudged your shoulder with his own, encouraging you to answer.
,,Well… I think the best show is The Kids in the Hall, undying classic.” You knew your walk slowly but surely reached its end. You could see your main entrance, the fact you were reaching your home was setting you aflame in the worst way possible. Nonetheless, your eyelids grew heavy and you could not stop yourself from yawning every few seconds, an unavoidable need to fall into your bed and surrender to sweet slumber.
,,That show is like 100 years old! Dinosaurs watched it!” Adrian shook his head with laughter. You didn’t find his jokes funny but you loved this out of all the shows. Unbelievable.
,,Hey! If you call that show old, it is like you’re calling yourself old! Should I call nursing to pick you up?” You stopped in front of your apartment complex, not entirely sure Adrian realizes this is where your hangout ends. You spin around to face him and quickly jab him in the chest with your finger.
,,Ha ha, very funny. But really? So many good shows and you pick this one? And call me out for liking Fargo? You have horrible taste.” He couldn’t let this go now he saw how adorable you looked when you were angry. What is the worst that can happen if he teases you more, right?
,,Shut it, Adrian. I’m serious.” You said that so calmly it almost took him aback, however he could see the fire burning behind your eyes. It only riled him up more.
,,You can’t make me-“ You grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pulled him down swiftly. The best solution to shut him up was to press your lips against his. A firm, simple kiss that sent electricity through your body. You felt a muffled yelp that escaped Adrian’s mouth when you surprised him in such an affectionate manner. And at that moment, when your lips touched his, for the first time in a while his mind was quiet, yet his soul was singing. Time stopped, eyes were tightly shut, heart hammering inside, begging to jump out of his chest, one of his hands found its place on your forearm in uncertainty and took a step closer to get his body closer to you.
You, on the other hand, were fully aware of what was happening. The feeling of gratification that you “won” an argument was the last thing on your mind. The only thing you could think of was acting up on your secret wishes that swam through your head every time you went to the laundromat to see him.  Suddenly aware of everything, you felt the heat that radiated from Adrian’s body, warming you up in cold air, a few raindrops making you shiver as they fell on your skin. Or were you shivering from the closeness of this intimate act? If anyone asked you would not be able to answer. It did not matter anyway, the only thing that mattered was you kissing him.
The kiss lasted only for a few seconds, but you would both swear it was an eternity. When you pulled away, slowly and delicately, Adrian still had eyes closed, hand hanging in the air where your arm used to be. You realized his mind was completely shut off. A smile formed on your lips at the thought of shutting Adrian up this way every time he brings up some stupid nonsensical squabble. You left him standing there as rain started to fall on his hair, diamonds in those dark brown curls. And when he finally came to his senses and decided to open his eyes… You were gone. Coldness on his body where you were pressed together, sparks lingering on lips, sweet perfume filling his nose, those should be indicators that it was very much real, but his mind was not certain. How could it be, when the stupid brain ceased the second his dreams came true.
You quickly ran upstairs to your apartment, running up to the window in your kitchen and from behind a curtain you watched confused Adrian, who was walking in the opposite direction. What other choice did you leave him than to head home and wonder. Wonder about what you were doing when raindrops splattered on the sidewalk, sounding like your flip-flops. Wonder if you’re already sleeping safe and sound in your bedroom like he will when he reaches his home. Wonder if you kiss him again once you see each other next week in the laundromat. Wonder if the laundry girl was real or just a dream.
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moonstruckme · 1 year
Note
Hii!! I have a request if thats okay, its kinda weird tho so if you don't wanna do it thats totaly okay<3
So i have like a really sensitive stomach so if i eat like anything greasy or a lot of one thing i get a really bad tummy ache, especially after supper like i don't throw up or anything im just kinda useless for like 2 hours. So the request is if you could do poly x fem!reader (or one of them, whatever you prefer) and have them comfort her and stuff? Maybe like cuddles and belly rubs? Idk
Thank u for excisting btw, you really make my day everytime you post<3
Thanks sweetheart, hope you like it :)
Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 1.1k words
Remus knocks at your door tentatively. He’d known something was off when you’d left dinner early, vague about why you had to get home but urgent in a way that unnerved him. He’d followed you out of the restaurant, hoping to catch you in the parking lot, but you’d already gotten on your bus. Remus knew you were probably fine, but he couldn’t shake his anxiety about the way you’d left and he’d made his excuses a few minutes later, ignoring the jeering protests of his friends as he set out for your apartment. 
After knocking again, he tries the handle, surprised and a bit alarmed to find the door unlocked. He calls your name as he steps inside hesitantly, wary of startling you if you’ve gone to sleep or have just gotten out of the shower (that’s something he’d like to see under more consensual circumstances). “It’s Remus,” he says into the dark apartment, feeling a bit silly. “Are you here?”
“Rem,” a soft voice comes from the direction of the living room, “what’re you doing here?” 
He moves toward the sound. “I came to check on you. Sorry for just letting myself in, but you left dinner so suddenly and I…oh, sweetheart.”
He finds you on the couch, all curled up with your face pinched in obvious pain.
“Honey, what happened?” he asks, crouching beside you. His hand comes up to pet your hair of its own accord. 
“Nothing, I’m fine,” you say, the strain in your voice belying your words. “I just came home because my stomach was bothering me.” 
Remus feels his brows pinch. “It hurts?” you nod, seeming embarrassed. He can’t imagine why, it’s not like you’ve any control over that sort of thing. “Do you think it was something you ate?” 
You’re looking down at your knees, held tightly to your chest. “I…kind of,” you sigh. “This happens sometimes. Like, when I eat a lot of the same thing, or greasy foods.” 
Remus nods thoughtfully. “So like, when James won’t stop piling fries onto your plate all night, and you feel like you have to eat them?” You look sheepish, and James is going to feel awful when Remus is through with him. He’s going to make damn sure nothing like this ever happens again on his watch. “I’m sorry, lovely,” he says. “Is there anything I can do to help?” 
You hesitate. “I’ve got ibuprofen in the bathroom, but I haven’t wanted to get up. Could you bring it to me?”
Remus squeezes your shoulder lightly, standing. “Of course, sweetheart.”
 He hurries to the bathroom, finding the small bottle of pills under the sink and bringing it back along with a cup of water. He shakes a couple of tablets into his hand, passing them to you, but withholds the water when you reach for it. 
“Sorry.” He really is. “You’ve got to sit up to drink it, don’t want you to choke.” 
You shuffle into an upright position, bracing your back against the couch with your knees still drawn tight to your front, and Remus hands the cup over. You swallow the pills with a light exhale, as if you’re already anticipating the relief they’ll bring. 
“Thanks, Rem.” 
“It’s no problem,” he replies, and he hopes you understand how much he means it. “How long does the pain usually last?” 
You sigh. “A couple hours. I’ll probably just lie here and wait it out, I won’t be able to get to sleep until it stops.” 
Remus tries not to pout at you, his heart aching with sympathy. “If you’d like, we could watch a movie or something,” he suggests, adding quickly. “But if you want me to leave so you can relax, I completely understand, love.” 
You ponder for a second, your face still tight with pain. “No, that sounds nice,” you say after a second. “A distraction could help, and I’ll be more relaxed with you here anyway.” 
Remus has to turn away so you don’t see the full force of his smile, occupying himself with your television. He holds up a movie for you to see, putting it in the VHS player once you approve. You waste no time in snuggling up to him when he sits next to you on the couch, and Remus wraps his arm around you happily, rubbing gently up and down your arm. You all but melt under his touch, softening against his side. 
It’s a few minutes into the movie before he works up the courage to ask. “Do you think it would help,” he says, hoping his voice sounds at least remotely casual, “if I rubbed your stomach for you?”
You look at him in surprise. “Remus, that’s alright. You don’t have to.” 
“I don’t mind,” he says, and he doesn’t. Even though he’s giddy from the feel of you pressed up against him, he’s not offering as some excuse to touch you. He just wants so desperately to help. Seeing you in pain is like a gut punch every time he looks at you, and if there’s anything that can make you more comfortable, he wants to be the one to do it. “Really, I just want you to feel better.” 
“Okay, yeah.” You relax your grip on your knees, letting your thighs fall a few inches from your stomach and making an opening for him. “That’d be nice, thanks.” Remus watches your face, wary of any signs of discomfort as he brings his hand to your midsection. 
“You’ll tell me if I hurt you at all, yeah?”
“I will,” you say. “But you won’t.” 
Remus glows with your surety in him, but he’s still cautious as he draws his hand in small circles, gratified when you sigh. The movie casts blue light across your features, so he can see you a bit better as the crease between your brows evaporates, the tension around your mouth easing. Remus does his best to look like he’s watching the movie, but all his focus is on easing the upset in your abdomen, adjusting his methods any time you react even slightly in the positive or negative. Soon you’re completely molten against his side, blinks slowing as your eyelids start to droop heavily. 
“Did the ibuprofen kick in?” he asks softly. “You look like you’re getting sleepy, dove.” 
“I dunno,” you yawn, laying your cheek on his bicep, “maybe.” 
Remus almost hates to suggest it, but he’s not quite selfish enough to keep himself from asking. “If you want to get to bed, I can go.” 
“No, can you stay?” you yawn again, hugely. Remus tries not to stare, but you look adorable, cheek squished up against his arm and face soft with sleepiness. “Just until the movie’s done, please?”
Remus adjusts you against him, slouching so that you can lay your head on his shoulder without hurting your neck. “Yeah, of course I can stay, lovely.” He resumes rubbing your stomach, dropping a quick kiss on the top of your head. “I’ll stay as long as you’ll have me.”
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yourbloodysunrise · 2 months
Note
Hi! I saw your blog and I love your writing btw.
Can you do a separate platonic hc of Ninjago ninjas (+Wu and Gaemadon but they're optional) with a male oc who's basically a lot like Sun Wukong from Lego Monkie Kid, but different?
Basically same idea, super powerful immortal dude thought to be gone, that caused havoc with the hierarchy. Unlike Sun Wukong the legends doesn't describe him as a hero, but as a cruel destructive monster, and yes the legends are true. So then dude was sealed away for centuries until villains freed him to help them conquer Ninjago and destroy the ninjas.
But then dude just doesn't, like straight up doesn't want to because he doesn't feel like it, turns out he's very chill and easy-going, also lazy, looks very human and normal but still powerful as hell. And then he just seems to take interest in the character that you're writing the hcs for, acts very mocking and condescending towards them for being 'mortals', likes to scare the shit out of them, will do it more often if they are scared of him, and sometimes show them what is supposed to be forgotten techniques and knowledge out of 'pity'. He actually do care about them but won't show it unless they're in actual real and serious danger. And may tone his annoying habits down with time.
As for Wu and Garmadon same thing he just acts way less condescending and mocking towards them than he does with the ninjas but it's still there.
🌤 — my, that's sound interesting!I'll do all my best to try making this as you expected to see :)
❝ Isn't this guy should be a villain? ❞
— FANDOM: NINJAGO
— PAIRING: MAIN NINJAS(+MASTER WU and MASTER GARMADON) x MALE!OC
— PLATONIC
— HEADCANONS
— TW: BAD GRAMMAR, BAD ENGLISH, OOC, IDK HOW TO CALL OC SO HE MENTIONED AS "you" xd, NINJA'S DON'T REALLY LIKE DUDE AND I CAN'T BLAME THEM, CAN CONTAIN SPOILERS
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LLOYD:
☆ ┈ Like almost everyone else, at first he will treat you with distrust.
☆ ┈ It's like, "you're that dude from the legends, right?Shouldn't you be, well, evil?"
☆ ┈ Most likely, you are interested in him because of his status. The same green ninja who defeated the Overlord himself in the battle against good and evil, but is still a teenager?
☆ ┈ How intriguing.
☆ ┈ He is usually annoyed by your taunts and responds to them with sarcasm.
☆ ┈ You can't blame him, imagine that some guy from the legends is awakened by villains, but instead of fighting you, he starts just walking next to you and mocking you, and you can't even do anything about it.
☆ ┈ At first, he will be scared if you start scaring him, but over time he will get used to it and stop paying attention.
☆ ┈ He's really trying to treat you better, but your taunts in his direction put him off.
☆ ┈ Now, let's talk about what can fix the situation.
☆ ┈ For example, if you show him some kind of combat technique that is considered forgotten.This..Flatters him. No, really, he's pleased.
☆ ┈ Perhaps at some point you will offer him additional training to develop his potential, because "as a green ninja you could do better."
☆ ┈ I had the idea that you would literally be Lloyd's bodyguard at the time when the Sons of Garmadon took over the city.
☆ ┈ You is like: this girl Harumi hunting this green whiner? Pfft, tough shit. *secretly running away to kick her ass*
☆ ┈ Soon you will become something like..Friends, almost.
☆ ┈ Lloyd starts to like your company, but with time, and you stopped mocking him(not quiet, but in the most part)
☆ ┈ Others ninja's honest reaction when you two suddenly began to get along: 😶
— "I feel like I can be myself around you!"
— "..You're weird and lazy around me."
— "Think about it."
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NYA:
☆ ┈ Her reaction to you would be "I won't hesitate, bitch." AND IT'S TRUE.
☆ ┈ Nya been hostile to you for a long time, mostly because she doesn't fully understand you.
☆ ┈ Wow, a dangerous dude who could destroy you turns out to be lazy and calm guy, and also constantly hangs out around you and laughs at you?
☆ ┈ Cool, yeeeaah…
☆ ┈ And why?
☆ ┈ You are definitely interested in her personality.  Independent, brave, but at the same time sensitive and also diffident. What a cocktail of feelings!
☆ ┈ You won't be able to scare or offend her, she'll get kind of angry, but she'll just try not to think about it.
☆ ┈ Due to the fact that Nya usually does not pay attention to you, some people from the outside see you as something like friends. It annoys, but it amuses you.
☆ ┈ After that, you will purposely call her like "bud", "darling", "Lily pad"..Just to see her reaction.
☆ ┈ Your relationship can definitely be called complicated.
☆ ┈ If the villains freed you during/before season 5, you will be the one who will help you train. Nya doesn't seem to mind, but she doesn't understand why you're helping her despite her hostility.
☆ ┈ I think she's just closed to you, but there will be times when she'll soften up. For example, if she is in danger and you help her.
☆ ┈ Over time, Nya may become more in contact with you, because in her eyes you cease to be an enemy. She is not ready to see you as an ally, because she still doubts you, but certainly does not consider you an enemy.
☆ ┈ It seems to me that Jay might be jealous, but not as much as he is of Cole. If your presence touches the love triangle of Jay, Nya and Cole, then you would be the one who pushed Nya to talk to them about it.
☆ ┈ Of course, it would sound something like "Come on, I just started to like you, pull yourself together and deal with them, don't make me change my mind!"
☆ ┈ But hey, you at least tried, right?
☆ ┈ In general, you have a dynamic of dangerous creature that for some reason simply refuses to destroy, and a person tired of it who cannot get rid of the creature.
— "What's up with you?"
— "Mm, what do you mean?"
— "You've been nice and helpful all day. What's your game?.."
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JAY:
☆ ┈ Guy is completely confused and does not understand why you paid attention to him.
☆ ┈ Come on, man, there are so many people here!Just go away, okay?
☆ ┈ When you try to treat him condescendingly, Jay just either jokes or interrupts you and leaves.
☆ ┈ He actually feels uncomfortable about it. Like, is he worse than others, since you are bothering him or what?
☆ ┈ Jay could be really scared if you start scaring him, and if you continue to do this, he may start to get hysterical about it and try to get into a fight with you.
☆ ┈ He is stopped in time, but he will still feel hostility towards you for a long time. It seems to me that he is the most vindictive towards you of all.
☆ ┈ You will have a hard time if you try to establish a relationship with him. Yes, you care about Jay, but at the same time you treat him mockingly, so it definitely makes him angry.
☆ ┈ He, like Nya, will not quite appreciate your gesture if you reveal to him some forgotten knowledge. As it were, he would rather be confused and try to figure out why you did it.
☆ ┈ In order for you to somehow fix the relationship, you will most likely have to not scare him at all and turn ridicule into jokes. Only then will he think that you are not so bad.
☆ ┈ Jay will definitely start liking you more if you help him with Nya. No kidding, if you "out of pity" give him some advice without ridicule, he will be very grateful to you.
☆ ┈ In general, there are four phases in your communication with Jay: Denial, Anger, Confusion, Acceptance.
☆ ┈ I recently reviewed Skybound, and if I may mention it here:
☆ ┈ If you were freed after the events of Skybound, then he can mention you about it after the Acceptance stage, when he will already trust you at least a little, but not fully;
☆ ┈ If you were freed before/during the events of Skybound, I am sure that you will be the one who will actively protect Jay, so that you will instantly move to the stage above Acceptance, but I do not know exactly what the outcome of events will be, so be content with what you have :p
☆ ┈ It seems to me that you would have the dynamics of a more sensitive MK and Macaque, if compared with LMK.
*Jay and Nya look into each other's eyes*
*You open a can of soda*
— "Hey, can you keep it down?!We're having a romantic moment here!"
— "And I have soda."
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KAI:
☆ ┈ Unlike others, he perceives you as a kind of rival.
☆ ┈ Kai is not mind a good opponent in the form of you. He is overconfident in this..However, this has always been his problem.
☆ ┈ Maybe you decide to feed his competitive spirit simply because it amuses you?
☆ ┈ Kai can't fight you seriously, considering that it's not in his best interests, but when it comes to something not deadly, he doesn't mind taking the initiative.
☆ ┈ For example, if you live with a ninja (no matter how much times they try to kick you out), he feels that he has to compete with you.
☆ ┈ You, finding an opportunity to have fun in his fiery mood to fight with you, play along with him.
☆ ┈ Because of this, you two really can't called enemies. You treat each other almost the same, make fun of each other or just joke, sometimes it feels like Kai doesn't even know how powerful you are. (most likely, he does not know, and he will find out later, but it is too late and he does not change his attitude towards you)
☆ ┈ This is probably a rare case where a ninja doesn't hate you right away. I would say that Kai finds you a rival, not a villain, especially considering the fact that you refused to destroy the ninja, even if you did it just because you didn't want to.
☆ ┈ He will often ask you to fight, of course you don't fight at full strength, so as not to flatten him against the wall, but enough to knock the spirit out of him.
☆ ┈ Kai is definitely the one who will train with you. At first it's just your usual duels, but with your advice, and later he can easily use your techniques. At some point, he may even actually fight you.
☆ ┈ The main thing: not overdo it!Other ninjas didn't like when you accidentally knocked Kai into the wall last time..
☆ ┈ If you were freed before/during season 4, expect a lot of work. In the end, what can you do if your favorite ninja is trying to fight an snake army of crazy noodle man, a fire snake squeezes all the strength out of him, some ghost inhabits his friend and also many bullshit?..A lot of work!
☆ ┈ P.s. When you scared him, he tried to scare you for 2 more weeks in retaliation.
— "Nice scar, hot head, but hair? Gosh, what you was thinking about, bud?"
— "Ha, you're the one who telling me that? You should see your hair after being sealed away for damn centuries!"
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ZANE:
☆ ┈ He is..not sure how to react to you.
☆ ┈ Thanks for not helping the villains and all that, but is it necessary to mock him?..
☆ ┈ By the way, whether you will mock at him or not is a big question. Let's take a look at the possible options.
☆ ┈ If you were freed during/after 4 season, then you will most likely laugh at Zane for being a robot and easily incapacitated.
☆ ┈ If you still caught a moment when he looked like a human, then everything will be the same, BUT after he sacrifices himself and restores himself as a robot, your honest reaction will be this: 😳
☆ ┈ You can say that in the second option you leave Zane alone, because you most likely have already become attached to him and are just glad that he is here again.
☆ ┈ In general, it will probably be difficult for you to tease or scare him simply because he either does not understand most of your taunts or does not react in any way. Often both. And it doesn't work to scare him at all, he just passes by.
☆ ┈ He's strangely polite to you, and that puzzles you. Soon, if you stop mocking him, he may begin to see you as something of an ally.
☆ ┈ Zane will be grateful if you share with him something that is considered to be forgotten. Most likely, it will become publicly available later, so don't be surprised.
☆ ┈ P.I.X.A.L. DOESN'T like you, she constantly warns Zane that you are still a dangerous villain who brings destruction. In order for her to start trusting you, you'll probably have to save Zane from some bullshit.
☆ ┈ I thought back to season 11, and I had the idea that maybe Zane as the Ice Emperor could remotely remember something about you. (yeah, this is exaggerated, but listen-)
☆ ┈ Of course, he doesn't remember you fully, but he remembers that you were connected to him. Perhaps he has a silhouette of you or something in his memory, so his minions are strictly forbidden to attack you.
☆ ┈ All in all, to sum up, the two of you have a dynamic of "I can fix him." and "Haha, funny robot, lol."
— "You should stop acting ridicilous."
— "Well, someone's gotta be jester for the court, after all."
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COLE:
☆ ┈ Okay, let's start with the fact that he doesn't understand you.
☆ ┈ Yes, exactly doesn't understand. Cole can't understand why you refuse to fight the ninja, why do you hang around him so often?
☆ ┈ He would be flattered by your attention if you didn't behave so condescendingly towards him.
☆ ┈ Cole finds you..Annoying, but at the same time, he's not against you. He wouldn't want you to help the villains who freed you capture Ninjago instead.
☆ ┈ Sometimes you can have fight, and, well, it's unpleasant for both of you..
☆ ┈ Cole is physically strong even without his elemental power, although it reinforces this, you are just as damn strong, but not completely physically. Because of this, you both get hurt in your fights, and your relationship noticeably hinders your ability to get closer.
☆ ┈ Soon, when he starts to get used to you, the fights will stop, but quarrels are still possible. Most often they happen if you make fun of him or try to scare him.
☆ ┈ Despite your quarrels, you and Cole are a great duo!In fights, the opponent should pray that you are not alone, otherwise nothing good will obviously happen.
☆ ┈ Both of you will soon relent. There are fewer quarrels, you become less condescending towards Cole, and he in turn becomes more relaxed with you.
☆ ┈ Show him an old, forgotten dance!No ancient knowledge or techniques can arouse his interest as much as dancing.
☆ ┈ If Cole has free time and Jay is busy, he prefers to spend it with you. Yes, you are not the best choice..But he likes you, so you have a pass!
☆ ┈ He most likely prefers to train with you, or, what else is better in his opinion, just be lazy with you. He even tried to teach you how to play his favorite video games.
☆ ┈ Your complicated relationship, even after a long time, will become something like a friendly one. Cole likes your presence, you like his personality.
☆ ┈ You form a strange but successful collaboration. Other ninjas don't say anything about it, because they see that you care about Cole, even in your own way.
— "I want a cake.."
— "Me too."
— "Let's steal it from that fiery guy!"
— "..."
— "Well, why not-"
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MASTER WU & MASTER GARMADON:
☆ ┈ First, let me explain why they both in one headcanons, when others separate.
☆ ┈ Considering that Wu and Garmadon have lived for about a millennium, you are most likely familiar with them. Perhaps were even friends until you began to destroy, and Garmadon succumbed to evil? Who knows..
☆ ┈ I prefer to stick to that version that, and therefore it will be more convenient for me to write about them together.
☆ ┈ In this, you are interested in Wu and Garmadon rather because you are curious about what happened to them while you were sealed. After all, so many years have passed, you'd like to know how they went!
☆ ┈ If so, this explains why you mitigate your annoying habits with them. It's rude to mock old acquaintances, isn't it? This is definitely not the way to greet your friend!
☆ ┈ While you are trying to restore your friendly relations with Wu and Garmadon, despite everything you have done, Wu treats you neutrally, and Garmadon is more lenient.
☆ ┈ God, please don't mention that you and Garmadon are similar in that you both tried to destroy Ninjago, it will infuriate the hell out of him because unlike you, he was literally forced to become evil. (cough Overlord. cough)
☆ ┈ You're just trying to get your friendship back, which you're having a hard time doing. Garmadon is disappointed in you because of your actions, and Wu does not want to stir up the past because he already has a lot of problems related to it.
☆ ┈ Mocking or trying to scare one of them will most often end up with you being hit on the forehead with a staff. Because you've been sealed for centuries, you don't look very old, but they already look old, so you look like a naughty child and his guardians.
☆ ┈ For some reason, I have a feeling that you can make friends with Lloyd in this. In the plan, you probably won't be condescending to him just because he's Garmadon's son, and he'll be friendly with you.
☆ ┈ If you were freed before season 5, then rest your soul, because Morro can't stand you. If you have not yet been sealed at the moment when he was still a student of Wu, then he remembers you perfectly well, and this is BAD, because no matter how he resents Wu, he knows about your former friendship, and believes that you betrayed his Master, and for him this is unforgivable.
☆ ┈ At some point, they will most likely start to get used to you, which means they will stop being wary of you. You wouldn't put up with it for so long just to get back at them in the end.
☆ ┈ The dynamic of former friends, one of whom tries to restore friendship, and the other two ignores him, but eventually accept him, I think.
— "Heeyy!It was long time ago, friends!"
— "We're not your friends."
— "How do you even get in Monastery?"
— "..Okay, you two didn't miss me, I got it."
..:*・゚☆.。.:*・゚゙。.:*・゚☆.。.:*・゚🌤
🌤 — ah, I've finally finished writing this!sorry for the long wait, I had no motivation for some time, but here we are!
🌤 — I decided to do Wu and Garmadon because I long to write for characters that are important in the plot, but for some reason no one asks for them :/
🌤 — but here we are!hope you like it, come back soon!☆ <3
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plutonian-moon · 2 years
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random astro observations p2 💤 ☆°
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take what resonates leave what doesn't!!
ur venus sign + house and aspects maybe even deegres can show ur love language ! (i will do maybe a post abt this in future with explaining :3) ☆°
mercury conjunction pluto/scorpio mercury/8H mercury are very interesting peoples tbh i love them sm im pisces mercury hehe and ... they are just so cool but they tend to not telling so much abt themself ! unless u have a gemini placements or smth that will causes oversharing ! ☆°
parallels/contraparallels are aspects that are not talked much abt and its so sad?? parallels are like conjunctions and contraparallels like opposition they are powerful major aspects i dont think that they are less powerful i have myself 0° degree sun parallel pluto, 0° asc parallel pluto, 0° asc parallel neptune, 0° mc parallel pluto, 1° mc parallel neptune, mercury parallel pluto 0° and i relate alottt to them !! and yes i read parallels like conjunctions and contraparallels like oppositions u can find which parallels/contraparallels u have on a astro.seek website ! have fun ☆°
gemini venus are not mean that u r a player/cheater in relationships i hate when peoples are talking shit when they dont know anything abt astrology 🚶🏼‍♂️🚶🏼‍♂️
2H can tell u what type of food u like eat for example a mars 2H/pluto 2H can enjoy spicy food but neptune 2H/moon 2H can dislike spicy food and uranus 2H can enjoy "weird" food or can be very open to experiment with different types of food but jupiter 2H can enjoy food from different cultures ! ☆°
2H also can tell u what u like to buy for example pluto 2H/neptune 2H maybe like buying spiritual/witchcraft stuffs like crystals, tarots or smth that have to do with psychology, astrology, paranormal, true crime ☆°
2H can alsooo tell u WHAT TYPE of people buying things u r for example virgo 2H will be very picky when its comes to buying things 2H capricorn/2H saturn can do this too hm but having 2H mars/2H aries/2H scorpio/2H pluto can mean that u r very impulsive when it comes to a buying things ! ☆°
helpp its gonna be a 2H observations or what .. but anyways 💀 .. i notice that people who have a cancer mars/4H mars/mars-moon (esp hard aspects) (hard aspects are : square, opposition, sometimes conjunction and quincunx (inconjunction)) u can tell when they are mad at u lmao idk i know so many cancer mars for example my ex is one and he was always very "dry texter" when he was mad at me 😭😭 and when i ask him if he is mad at me he was always saying that everything is ok 😡😡😡 ...... he was having also 11H mars ... so maybe u can relate when u have 11H mars/aquarius mars/mars-uranus too
11H saturn/11H chiron/11H neptune/11H pluto/11H lilith are very lonely placements.... u can have very small group of friends or no friends (its common with 11H saturn) with 11H neptune u can have many friends with some kind of addiction to smth or friendships that are fake but will act like they like u .. u can giving so much to a friendships and u can try help the wrong people with 11H chiron u feel like u dont belong to the group u r maybe always rejected when in group or u feel that way .. u was experience rlly bad friendships with 11H lilith its pretty much simillar and lastly with 11H pluto u can attract people who are jealous of what u have and what they dont literally maybe people hate u for no reason people maybe gossip alot abt u when u dont do nothing u can also attract very intense, self destructive and with mental health problems friendships at the worse scenario u can even experience a death of friend but yk what the all placements have in common feeling very lonely and empty even if u have so many peoples around u ur still experience loneliess and also bad experience with friendships are common in these placements :--( ☆°
6H uranus peoples can have very unstable routine or routine that is not like everyone else yk what i mean routine that is just different ☆°
6H neptune peoples are very procrastinatiors (a person who habitually puts off doing things) and also they can be very lazy when it comes to doing even basic everyday things also they can sleep alot and daydreaming everyday as they routine hmm also i think that its have simillar results as having mars-neptune when u r literally just thinking abt do something that U HAVE TO DO but ... u end not doing this 😭😭 ...or u will lying to urself that u do this tomorrow but u will dont do this !! 😞😞 ☆°
8H moons/scorpio moons/moon-pluto (hard aspects) and mars-pluto (hard aspects)/scorpio mars/8H mars can have veryyy bad period pains i have mars opposition pluto 0° and 8H moon in scorpio decan making opposition to pluto 😭😭 and in moon persona chart i have moon square pluto, 8H sun, 1H pluto and mars opposition pluto and I HAVE VERYY BADD PAIN WHEN I HAVE PERIOD 😭😭 i cant even get out of my bed bc of this pain omg
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sadie-bug345 · 5 months
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greasers when they’re sick
i myself have been deathly ill for the past week so whilst i am bedridden i’m writing this🤡🙆‍♀️🤩 ANYWAYS LETS GO
ponyboy:
hates missing school solely cause my guy despises talking to teachers abt what he missed
also cause he thinks he gets super behind when guy just skipped one day of school😭
probably holes himself up in his and sodas room and when soda comes in to check on him after work it’s like PITCH black and pony is just sitting in a pile of tissues
”what do YOU want?” says pony with a voice similar to kermit the frog cause bros nose is SO stuffed up
and soda just assumes pony is in one of his moody, poetry reciting moods again and slowly exits the room, leaving only a baloney sandwich in his wake💀🤡😭
johnny:
def the type to not accept help
like he would go to school sick and the second someone brings up how his voice is screwed up he’s like 😐”what’re you sayin bout me?”
if the gang does quarantine him to a room he’d def just be able to entertain himself and prob come up with his own secret language and fictional multiverse or smth
idk he just gives the type to be fully okay with being alone for a bit but the meds he’s on make him all wacky too so it’s an interesting mix for sure
sodapop:
i’m sorry this guy has the most nastiest cough 😭
idc if he doesn’t smoke a lot he just got those mucusy coughs
other than that everyone’s having a good time, making jokes and feeling good and then soda pauses his laughter and unleashes the most rattley cough and then everyone just goes quiet and he just looks like 😃
definitely unfazed by sickness in general
until one day my guy just has the worst time and breaks downnnn🥰
we’ve all been there too esp when you’re sick and shit just goes downhill and everything sucks and you hate everything and everyone
darry:
now johnny doesn’t accept help but that’s NOTHING compared to darry
he has peak older-sibling syndrome and is just used to only helping other people
so when those people that he takes care of flip the script, my guy is just weirded outtt
like he def appreciates two trying to make him soup but he just doesn’t know how to react
goes lowk crazy with not being able to work or straighten up the house just cause he always feels like he’s gotta do SOMETHING productive with his time
dally:
i’m sorry but guy is def the type to go to school FULLY sick and either not say a word about it or complain like a lil bitch the whole time
also he totally smokes while he has a cough like soda which is so unhealthy i can’t even😭
just overall his habits and life doesn’t get upended by “some fuckass cold” (his words, not mine)
like bro please you just gotta rest sometimes😭
the gang is able to get him to stay at the curtis’ couch one day and bro just WIPES OUT
istg he’s out for like 15 hours straight in the full daytime and everyone is scared to walk past in case they wake him up
but dally is a crazy heavy sleeper so he actually gets a lot better after calming down for once🥰
two-bit:
honestly stays home from school like a normal person
except bro gets one cold and then just doesn’t show up to school for like two weeks😭
and it’s not cause he’s a wimp it’s just cause guy finds an excuse to skip out for a so called “vacation” and he rolls with it
and then he’ll just spawn back in on campus like a month later like nothing happened and everyone just expected two to take a dare too far and end up in the hospital🤡
steve:
CANT STOP WONT STOP
bro just pushes thru the pain😭
he probably takes way too much of the recommended dose of general meds (don’t do this please🧍‍♀️)
and then goes all loopy for hours straight
and people are kinda sus about it but honestly it’s steve so who is really all that surprised
LMAO THAT SOUNDS MEAN SORRY STEVE
ANYWAYSSSS i think imma post a romantic kinda sick reader x greaser thing so that’ll hopefully come out soon while im still coughing my lungs out🫶
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