#idk it just makes me feel rly exposed

[phagodyke]

nvm im too tired and overstimulated for this shit

[daistea]

the thought of mithrun in traditional elven attire makes me go a little bit feral like ...

SPOILERS ❗️sorry I know you didn’t ask for this, but I wanna talk about it

Elf fashion looks kinda Greek/Roman inspired(I may be wrong idk) like flowy fabrics and.. toga-esque, almost But in history, togas were mainly worn only for special occasions I think. So I’m leaning more towards a chiton-like style. Ruching, pretty simple, pretty gender neutral.

Though we only see Mithrun in a flowy chitan-ish garment when he’s in rehabilitation post-demon.

His caretakers are all wearing white longish dresses/robes too, and even the tall-man is wearing robes. Get these guys like a fashionable belt or something, they need a pop of color

Otherwise he’s either in uniform or wearing high necked, long tunics, pants, and boots.

High necked collar (got that fancy embroidery ohhh he fashion)

Idk what to call this. A tunic? A dress? I think technically it’s a tunic. I like his boots tho I want them

Same here. He seems to cover his neck, even before the demon ate his desires. Though there’s an image of his brother wearing a similar high necked thing. Like us all, elves probably dress in many different ways, and Mithrun just preferred to be covered up. Covered up like… his heart… not willing to be exposed… hmmm

Sooo idk I don’t think we can pinpoint an exact inspiration for their clothing, it’s prob just a blend. The Canaries uniform, at least Mithrun’s, kinda calls to mind a pteruges, leading us back to the Greek inspiration theory

ANYWAY BACK TO THE SUBJECT AT HAND

I would like to think that there’s a version of the canaries uniform that’s for formal events? Something without the uncomfortable spider silk stuff

Poor Mithrun, taking off his armor must feel like taking off a tight bra at the end of a day 😩 relief (not that he rly cares tho)

But anyway yeah it would be cool if they had formal wear, something without the armor but still signifying their position (the wardens are prob the only ones that would have it though) It’s canon that Pattadol and Mithrun have attended things held by the Queen so I wonder how they dressed….

As for traditional wear, I’d think it would just be fancier versions of the flowy outfits. Maybe add a nice fibula and another layer.. idk 🤷‍♀️

[fyodior]

im all soft for the idea of like raising a kid rn. like yes im going to make you even more of a daddy and you cant stop me. hold my tummy when its getting all big from the baby, go out in the middle of the night to get the food im craving. carry out child to sleep after a long car ride. give little kisses on their scrapes before putting on bandaids. im imagining dazai, getting hurt from work and our child putting paw patrol stickers on his cheek. fyodor reading them to sleep, chuuya using his gravity to tuck our little ones to bed.

so incredibly sexy to me. have my babies and be present in their lives PLEASE

☕️

YES he presses little kisses all over your growing tummy and lays his head on it to feel when the baby kicks 🥺🥺 or they do sweet things for you once you cant do them anymore kfjdjk like shaving your legs or putting on pants or just helping you stand up <3 they take you out to buy maternity clothes when your regular clothes stop fitting and they accompany you to every single doctors appointment no matter what.

(this is more dazai coded) but he's so so proud of his pregnant partner and loves showing them off to everyone but he's also fucking weird abt it kdfjfdkj like touches ur bump and is like "i did that😏" and everyone just sighs

i imagine fedya putting headphones over your belly and playing classical music to try and make the baby like it fdjkjkfkj or playing the cello whenever he can because he wants to expose your kid to as much classical as he can so they can bond over it <3

CHUUYA USING GRAVITY TO TUCK THEM IN PLS i think he would use his gravity skill so much literally just to entertain the kid fjdjfdj like maybe they're rly fussy during bath time or are upset so he distracts them with juggling random things in the air or making himself float fdjkfdkjfdjk but also idk if this would work but him using gravity to take some of the weight off from ur tummy when ur rly far along <3

i truly think all (most) bsd men very capable of being really good dads and husbands and i want all of them to get me pregnant rn

[simpjaes]

hihi! <3 i love your works sm! you write the absolute best, but i honestly have a genuine question, why don’t you like silent readers? i hope it’s not a rude question to ask but i’m just genuinely curious because i understand that there comes to a limit of how people interact with posts, but i’d also like to hear your input as well :)

(you’re my fav smut writer hehe)

hi, first of all, thank you 🖤 am proud to be your favorite 🥹

secondly, in all honesty, its a little complicated. silent readers are only one of the issues on tumblr. If they’re truly silent, i won’t even know they’re reading for me to be upset in the first place, which sucks really fucking bad…

where i actually get pissed of is, well, it’s the people who spam like but don’t reblog, follow me, or leave me any feedback. additionally, it’s the people who beg and plead and demand i write more while never reblogging, or telling me why they like my work in the first place.

i write for free, and while i appreciate all feedback i get, reblogs are so important to writers here on tumblr and i urge you to peek at the ratios of my fics. likes vs reblogs, people asking for more without reblogging or liking etc.

i also have anon enabled specifically for those who don’t want to expose who they are in terms of feedback (silent readers). id like to think that after i spend days and weeks and months writing, people would at the very least either leave feedback or a reblog. yknow? but thats simply not rly the case.

i’m tired of begging for interaction basically, bc as shitty as it is, many writers only get likes and demands for more writing over anything else and it’s exhausting. i try to avoid that if at all possible because ill end up not writing at all. i am real a person. if you are consuming and enjoying my content, pllssss pls pls make it known to me in some way that isnt just an empty like or rude and entitled demand!!

this rly is why the writing community here is dying. arguably, silent readers do play a part in that as well, but they’re more neutral and don’t interact at all. half of the time they don’t even use their blogs ;-; which…if that’s the case why not give us a lil reblog then? like it’s not harmful and gives the author a lil warm and fuzzy feeling.

idk man. ppl basically just treat authors like machines, literal shit, and like we owe them more and more of our creativity so they can rub one out.

i will always stand by this: i do not owe anyone an orgasm. but if you’re going to make demands, or are simply hoping i write more without telling me, then please don’t be a silent reader, a serial liker, or a person who won’t even follow or reblog me.

[seongminiz]

oh jeez😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 /pos i’m so dizzy at both scenarios omgg first off. the mattwoong sandwich plot with jiwoong filming u and matthew (his little sluts) and using u like that is so insane like imagine free use with dilf country club owner jiwoong like that?? like when he’s bored he seeks u both out and brings you together to “entertain” him like ur his toy barbie dolls .. this is getting so depraved but like fuck it i like to think u both (u and matt) got urselves way in over ur heads with ur dirty little games and if it isn’t the consequences of ur actions…

idk if this is too dubcon.. but i kinda like the slight aspect of coercion in terms of wanting to please jiwoong to keep ur job/membership at the club? and how humiliating would it be if he exposed all the nasty things you’ve been up to while ur supposed to be on the clock… sigh. anyways.

and omg everything u said for angel demon jumil. i rly love the idea of them holding u ‘hostage’ and threatening u with ur life😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 they’d loovvee how pathetic u’d be begging them for their cum so u don’t die :( like jeez that’s fucked up but i love it :(((

and the concept of juyeon literally losing his wings to commit himself to pleasuring u. definition of a service top lol. i want them both to use me as a fucktoy so bad so this + monsterfucking is so crazy. like i can’t even put it into words omg ffff😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

also slight side note. idk if u watched any of the fatal trouble promotions for enha, but i’ve seen a few screenshots from the relay and heeseung’s abs peeking out at one point?? i need to ride him so bad it’s so serious.

ur mean dom hoon thoughts too😵‍💫😵‍💫 i want mean dom enha hyung line i want all 4 of them to keep me as a pet we’re seeing a recurring theme here :( and use me to their will, be so mean to me that i never leave subspace and just exist to please them :( vampire hyung line living in a victorian castle and keeping u to feed off of and use for their pleasure??? probably been done before. but that’s also a thought.

- 🧁 anon

aaaaaaaaaaa idk where to start with this im going crazy 😵‍💫

no bc fuckkk jiwoong using u n matt as his own free porn like (!? #+_. im malfunctioning ,, also as u said , him threatening to expose every little depraved thing you've done for him , having all of it on video knowing your perfect little princess who has everyone wrapped around her finger reputation could be ruined in a split second .. making u suck his dick n apologize when you try to be bratty n defy him , taking a video everytime (which means he has a lot of them since he still hasn't fucked the brat out of u n probably never will)

n yesss 🫶🏻monsterfucking🫶🏻 tbh ik i alr said this but i should write more of it !!!

yesss i've seen that 0_0 feeling very much insane .. not only thinking abt riding hee , but riding his abs ?!?? that makes me even crazier

osmdbgj vampire hyung line ,, it all started when jake planned to only feed from u like all the other humans they've fed from for years , but theres just something abt you that makes him want to bring u back home n keep u all to himself ..... you're not particularly against it once you've gotten over the initial fear of jake being able to possibly kill u whenever he wants , but he won't be able to keep u from the others for long , after all they can recognize humans from smell alone , n your blood's specifically is so addicting they'll all start using u to both feed from u n fuck u ..

also ik we were talking abt the whole hyung line but mannnn this is making me think of vampire sunghoon so much 🫠 save me ..

[compacflt]

my apologies if this is too simple or juvenile or personal a question but HOW did you become such a proficient writer? and do you have any tips or pointers to keep in mind? i know you must do a lot of reading and a lot of writing, but your skill is just incredible to me. your prose!! your cadence!! when we get around to talking about it is genuinely one of the best things i've ever read and i'd eat it if i could!!!

this ask was so sweet thank you!! rly made my day when i needed a boost. Hope you don’t mind i took a couple days to think about it cause no one’s ever asked me for writing advice before

idk how i became a “proficient” writer bc I really don’t write that much. something about my fic gave me brainworms and i went into overdrive but that’s…not my usual MO. which is why it’s weird for me too. admittedly i am studying english/creative writing as my second major at uni, but i haven’t learned anything in any of my classes you couldn’t learn by just reading and writing on your own. honestly i should’ve stuck with my IR major instead, i find structured cw classes a complete waste of time. but here are some little tips i thought of that would’ve helped ME:

This is more a “do as I say not as I do” because I’m really bad at habits like this, but keep a diary. You can write about the big events (went to the store, did homework, got laid etc.) but that’s boring—focus on the details (watched someone at west side market throw a glass bottle of olives at a rat, broke a pen and permanently stained my dorm desk and won’t get my deposit back which pissed me off because I move out in a week, this guy’s breath smelled like lemon pledge and it made me wonder if he drank window cleaner before kissing me etc.). Real life is really interesting! How can you write about interesting real life in an interesting way? It’s a good way to practice. You don’t have to do a big reflection at the end of the day or anything. It’s okay to jot down something you saw & then immediately forget about it. It’s the act of figuring out how to translate life into words that’s important

If you type, learn how to type FAST. This is just my experience, but I think typing faster makes your cadence, clause length, dialogue, IDEAS flow better/more naturally. We think in words/sentences, not letters.

This is a super lame tip that’ll make you roll your eyes, but read poetry. Poetry is all about how words/ideas/images sound and interact with each other. Don’t get hung up on one poet—im not really recommending any for precisely this reason—read poetry you love (for me, Ada Limón, Jack Kerouac, Frank O’Hara, ghazals etc) AND read poetry you hate (for me, Rupi Kaur, Emily Dickinson, Whitman, etc)! Read all genres you can get your hands on. (I think there are like “great poetry anthologies” you can find for free online if u don’t know where to start. Also you can’t go wrong with subscribing to/reading a variety magazine like the NYer. It’s pretentious but it exposes you to all kinds of weird topics, ways of writing about them, etc.) Figure out how certain combinations of words and punctuations make you FEEL, and why, and why the writer chose (or not) to make you feel that way. Figure out which literary sounds you like and which ones you don’t. For me, i figured out that I REALLY like alliteration, comma splices, zeugmas, the rule of three, and

“he’s [verb]ing again… yeah compacflt’s characters are [verb]ing again… big shocker”

If you have an idea for a piece, figure out what it is you really want to get out of it—to say something? to experiment with a different style? to see your fav characters do something? to have fun?—and then figure out how, on a technical level, you should write to match that goal (this is where the poetry training comes in handy). If you’re just writing to have fun, don’t listen to any writing advice (incl. mine), because most of it is bullshit and over-generalized and will make you feel bad about yourself. Just take the advice that you think will work for what YOURE trying to write.

But if you’re writing to explore some political idea, then you should think about HOW to best write about that idea. What would be a convincing story/allegory/scene to engage with this idea vs. not convincing. I talk on this blog all the time about how disappointed I am that my very-adult-grown-up attempt to deal with the dynamic of “immovable internalized homophobia vs unstoppable falling in love anyway” is rendered a little childish/immature by some pretty unconvincing plot points like the characters buying a house together—I really should have considered how that plot point would interact with the characterizations I’d built already (hint: poorly). You can think of writing as kind of a military structure if that helps—you have strategy on the overarching campaign (plot/character growth/allegory/theme) level, the battle (scene that advances the above) level, and the tactical (sentence-level construction/syntax/wording) level. They all have to work together. If a scene is failing to properly engage with the idea you’re trying to convey, you’re losing a battle that will weaken the overarching campaign. Same thing if you choose a weird word in a sentence/write in a style or tone that’s weirdly out of place with your idea—it makes your engagement with the theme/idea less convincing. just try to be purposeful and consider your strategy on all levels of your work as you’re writing it!! At the very least it’ll make editing easier lol.

But then again when I read my own writing from just a couple months ago I cringe out of my skin, so like—just also accept that it’s a process and we’re all just making it up as we go along. Be proud of being embarrassed of your old work, because it means you’re growing. Own that shit. When I finished writing WWGATTAI i thought it was the best thing I’d ever written, and maybe it was. But since the day I finished working on it, it’s the worst thing I’ve written since then. That’s a great feeling. Not to be like writing grindset obviously bc it’s supposed to be fun—but if what you want is to get better at writing, the strategy is to WRITE a whole bunch of shit, and then own your embarrassment about how much you’ve grown since you started. And know you’re still always growing and learning. there should never be any “goals” where skills are concerned 👍🏽

[daaedoodles]

I rly like '24 for the obvious reasons but also cuz it humanized everyone more. Regina's villain origin story was worse imo but when she fell on stage I couldnt help but thinking shes just a GIRL. Shes just a girl who hates her body, ate shit in front of the whole school, basically has her bare ass out and is getting photographed and filmed to be posted online and get HUMILIATED. Idk if this was said in the social media scene of the movie or if i made it up in my head bc im gen z and I know the internet but in my head I was like yeah shes a fucking cunt but she didn't deserve 💀 threats cuz ppl be throwing 💀 threats at ANYTHING 😭😭😭

ME TOO. i watched a review and they said that the only characters that were humanized were the plastics and they were actually so right?? the other teenagers in the school just were like crazy social media assholes and none of them had a redeeming moment so i think i ended up feeling bad for regina and hating them instead like the shit they were saying and doing was vile and she got fucking dragged on social media when, honestly, that wouldn’t happen IRL you’d get cancelled for making fun of someone like that.

EXACTLY. she’s just a girl and honestly regina isn’t even that mean? in 24’ people just seem more like they’re scared of her because she’s hot and has power and followers and influence because of that and COULD potentially destroy you. she’s grumpy with people and she gets rude with gretchen and karen, but we never see her being mean to anyone else? but even still there’s genuine moments like when she’s asking how many calories are in the chobani where she’s picking her nails and you can tell she’s nervous and she actually almost seems kind of nice like that and you can’t help but think how much of the mean girl persona is just regina projecting her insecurities on everyone else. like she rules the school, but how much of that confidence is because she doesn’t ever want to be bullied and ostracized like janis was/she made janis — and then ended up having the same thing happen to her in the most cruel way possible?

the kalteen bars, oh my god. janis doing this was just evil because she would’ve known about regina’s insecurities. doubt regina would ever let anyone else in the school know and then, the cherry on top, janis told the school she did it on PURPOSE to mess with her life and exposed that to everyone

and the fuckign death threats… i was honestly like wtf? like the north shore high student body actually needs to get hit by a bus cause they suck somehow even worse than regina 😭

the fake ass go fund mes and leaving presents at her door but never actually visiting her is so something that would happen irl. i just imagine she’s basically completely alone and keeps hearing from her mom and has seen some of the shit people said on social media when she was recovering from her injuries and that’s why she changes and realizes she needs to be better

[ca-suffit]

... STUNNED that nalyra and her racist co used the terms "subset" to label anyone who wanted to talk about the obvious racism in the fandom.. as a "subset"... Wow. WOW. I'm speechless about that.

Also ever notice how their replies to every portion of an ask is "the show is so nuanced" "the show put in so much effort and nuance" "everything is so nuanced" like wtf WHAT is so nuanced what exactly is this NUANCE she keeps mentioning jc can they ever give complete answers or will they run their own subset of the white minded fandom to the ground with these moronic answers they love to clog the tags with

(context)

Everything is always vague on purpose bcuz it's all intentionally manipulative language. It's meant to look surface level nice and "considerate" of all angles so that at first glance ppl will think anyone judging their posts is just crazy. It's basically the racist white woman speaking in public to any non white person voice. "I'm so non judgmental and innocent and idk why ur being so aggressive to me, I'm not doing anything wrong."

The dog whistles have either been "subset" or "loumanders." There's some examples below.

If u search tags for "iwtv fandom racism" u will find a lot of posts from Feb 2024 bcuz of Nalyra getting exposed for liking posts from cosmicjoke about how reverse racism is real and noticing race is the real racism. Not that this needs that context to be p obvious but for anyone who rly doubts what's going on here ig.

There is literally no reason to defend Lestat so much like this while saying obviously racist shit about which type of ppl u think are the main ppl who are disliking the character atm. If u don't like what the show is doing then stop watching or get angry at a later time when we're out of the IWTV part of the story. Doing all this when u even admit IWTV is "the worst" portrayal of Lestat that u feel like later was "fully" retconned in the books (it's not but ok) just makes ppl look like toddlers who can't understand how TV series work. It's a whole book series and this is meant to be a long TV series too and ur here on day 1 doing all this for what. To protect the white guy from being criticized? jfc. The guy FAMOUSLY known for being a huge asshole?? That's kind of his whole thing, even when he's "nice." U don't get the name "brat prince" if ur agreeable.

Left is Virginia

Full context of Virginia's post

Both of them in the same thread, sticking to the "the books" and references to selective cast / crew interviews to say the patriarchal / abuse themes coming from Lestat in S1 shouldn't be noticed by anyone

[genderkoolaid]

1of2 Just wanna say ty 4 being cool abt transabled stuff, Im not transblted myself but v much sympathize/relate 2 the experience & its always nice 2 c ppl being nice abt it. :) Also wanted 2 add that along w/ everything u said, ik theres also alot of ppl who ID as transabled as a part of working thru/coping w/ selfdoubt/internalized ableism abt their IRL disabilities, whether in a selfaware way or b4 realizing/getting a dx, & ik 4 me at least that rly impacts how I view any 'Being disabled is a

2of3 (oops) privilege' type stuff. Thats not 2 say its not still a problem, but when ur disabled & noone acknowledges it, seeing other disabled ppl that (as far as u kno) /r/ getting that acknowledgement can feel like a privilege, & if ur not in disability activism spaces (whether thru exclusion, cuz u legit dont realize u belong there yet, or 4 w/e other reason), its easy 2 not realize the problems w/ that. Obvs I think goodfaith IDs should b respected regardless of if theyre 'Secretly just X 3of3 other more valid ID but havent realized it yet', but I think its still good info 2 have sumtimes. I absolutely Get the idea of selfdoubt so severe that nothing less than 'Even if u werent X u could still b X' is reassuring. And ableism telling u that ur not rly disabled, u just /want/ 2 b sick, when 'Being sick' means 'Not pushing past ur limits' so hell yeah u want that (& therefore r riddled w/ selfdoubt), thats p much my whole life. Idk lol, rant over, I just wanted 2 say ty & stuff. <3

Another good point! @rozario-sanguinem also brought this up. Transabled as a sort of shelter for disabled people who feel they can't ID as disabled makes a lot of sense, and I can't imagine that being harassed for that would do much to help them come to terms with their disability.

I also definitely understand how people (esp those who aren't as exposed to activism) can have a gut reaction to seeing other people get the recognition they need and jump to "you don't understand your privilege!" It's obviously not a good response, but it's also one born out of real pain and lack of understanding, so it needs to be confronted with understanding and compassion.

[a-little-lostmoon]

Okay so, I’m currently working on a magical archives style type post for my ccau oc Yuulo but in looking at the designs i noticed something.

Their s h o e s.

Which admittedly, is a very weird thing to notice but all of them just stood out to me. Ignoring event outfits (only counting things they wear in the main storyline/displayed in the magical archive) each character has 4 different sets of shoes: Ceremonial Robe shoes, Dorm Uniform shoes, Gym Shoes, and Casual/School Uniform shoes. Now, let’s ignore the first two I mentioned in the list bc those are universal designs (excluding Ortho for obvious reasons) and that leaves us with 2 Unique shoe designs per character.

Which is probably obvious in retrospect, but then I started to rly just look at each of their picks individually and everything just feels so well thought out. Every pick feels like it fits the character and thats just so fucking cool that Yana thought out everything for every single one of them since initially in my head I was thinking they’d all just had the same design but nope!

Let me get into some examples now,

Only a handful of them have typical “anime school uniform type shoes” (for lack of a better term im sorry i don’t know shoe types that well—) and even in those cases they’re different in overall design and fit the characters. Those being: Deuce, Trey, Jack, (not gonna include Octavinelle, ill get to them soon), Silver, and Sebek which isn’t a lot! And then again, all unique in their own rights,

Deuce’s are black loafers with a rounded point giving them more of a younger look, Trey has dark brown loafers with a more pointed shape which opposite of Deuce’s makes him look a bit more mature, Jack has much wider dark mahogany loafers which fits with his physique better, Silver’s who defaults to brown loafers again though this time with more of a curved point to them and an indent cut out in the strap, and finally Sebek who has the pointed dress shoe-like black shoes but his are entirely smooth with no laces.

And since I mentioned the dress shoes so much i’ll go onto the ppl who wear those now too. Them being, Riddle, Azul, Jade, Floyd, Vil, Malleus, and Lilia (Vil and Lilia included too bc I dunno where to put them otherwise—)

All mentioned except Riddle, Vil, and Lilia wear the normal style dress shoes you’d see if you just googled it with a few different color variations here and there. Azul’s being brown with laces, Malleus and Jade having black shoes with laces, and Floyd’s being black without much like Sebeks (maybe I should’ve considered Sebek in this category too but eh hindsights)

And smth also interesting to note is that Malleus’ and Jade’s while the same in concept just… feel like they’re from different brands idk I cant explain it I think it’s bc of the way the seems or stitches look but who knows

Then the first three i mentioned, Riddle’s have a deep red portion on the middle part of his shoes, Vil’s are pointed heeled with a flared tongue and decorative strap thats blue and black to match his dorm colors (actually wait im looking at his more and i think they might even be boots..? The tongue throws me off and is a weird design on boots but the gold accent continues up so i think they are boots ahdjfksn), and then finally Lilia’s who like vil, has a higher golden colored heel that adds a bit of fancy to shoes that otherwise would be loafers and thank FUCK his aren’t boots in disguise too.

Something unrelated to shoes that’s also interesting is his pants??? fancy little old man got special pants lol

and i’m getting exhausted writing everything now idek how long i’ve been writing about SHOES but im gonna speed this up now—

Basically everyone else wears sneakers, exceptions being Cater who wears white casual slip on shoes, Leona who has his toes EXPOSED (he wears some sort of flip flop sandals looking hybrid), Kalim who’s wearing arabic curled toes which i believe are called multani khussa with a gold anklet, Epel who’s wearing a pair of very cute decorative boots with red plaid details on them (which i’m willing to bet Vil got for him—they look expensive and less practical than i think Epel would prefer), Rook who’s in tan combat/work boots, and Ortho bc well he doesn’t have feet.

Anyways I’ll talk abt the sneaker ppl and more thoughts on this if people really want me to bc I do have more but i’ve spent the last at least 30 minutes talking about SHOES of FICTIONAL CHARACTERS and I’d like to get back to drawing lmao and don’t rly think this is smth many people would be interested in so <33

Have a nice day u weird person who just read through all my twst shoe related rambles /lh go drink water and touch grass

P.S. (and forgive me any shoe specialists I may have offended, pls feel free to go and educate me for my incorrect descriptions of shoes)

[maria-ruta]

would it be too much to ask ALL the OC ask meme questions for Blueberry? :3c (if you don't want to do all of them I'll just ask for red lol)

Oh my gooood aren't you greedy ahaha 🤣

Well i already answered 4 questions for Berry here

So I guess I could cover all the rest haha

🟠 Orange- What is a trait your OC hides about themself from others? Do they refuse to acknowledge it or begrudgingly accept it?

his origins, his deadname and surname, the family he's came from. Mostly bc he doesn't want them or other lumeris officials to find him. Among official lumeris the rules are pretty strict, and by their laws Berry counts as traitor, and if he was caught by officials he'd get a traitor sign burned/cut on his face (he doesn't rly want such a fancy makeover tbh)

Tho over the years he got a little more relaxed about that and can share his story with his friends (he still prefers not to say his parents names and surnames though) probably some other punishments too but that's the one i remember the most haha. He doesn't think that after so many years his parents would still search for him

He doesn't know that but his parents actually stopped trying to search for him in first year of his absence, because they know about what kind of punishment their kid will receive from officials, and they actually don't want that for their daughter(well, actually son, but they dont know that)... so they decided it would be better to just let go. More about Berry's parents and runaway

Oh he also right now pretends to be human, hides that he's lumeris from everyone but his friends and crew

But tbh he already was exposed few times so.... idk if he will keep up with that for long lol

🟣 Purple- What is something that your OC could not live without? What keeps them grounded in the worst of times?

Honestly i don't know... probably overall curiousity and desire to find himself? But I imagine him joking that the only thing that keeps him going is alien hatsune miku/new season of his favourite show coming out/big pile of sushi he just ordered

⚪️ White- When was a moment in your OC's life that they felt the most vulnerable and exposed? Were they alone or surrounded?

Oooh idk honestly 👀

Maybe long ago when he was betrayed by his commissioner, who asked him to steal info from one of the racers at the race, Berry participated in

And oh this racer lady was so pissed that she and her agents and her fans still haunt Berry up to this day lol

He was alone back then. And he decided to never take such suspicious dirty missions ever after. Lesson learned and his mail is always filled with hate and death threats, no matter how many times he changed acaunts or tried to hide x)

⚫️ Black- When was a moment in your OC's life that they felt the most in control and secure? Was it gained through negative or positive means?

Fhjfgjdhetdjsjs HAVE YOU SEEN THIS ANXIOUS BLOB OF A MAN??? X'D he's mostly so insecure

But I gotta say that most in control he feels when he's piloting/driving - he's very good at it and it makes him feel like he's one with the machine, either he participates in race or chasing someone or flying away from the chase. I guess that's why he has a history of participating in different kinds of pirate races and such

I got tired of writing... please ask me other questions later (its better if i post this much now, then keep this post in drafts for the hope to finish it all and then forgeting... 😭)

[mithliya]

idk which ex ur talking about in that "insane things my ex has done" but i relate bcuz i am currently in a relationship with a gendie who has started saying recently that my aversion to male genitalia is incredibly transphobic even though she knows i have been sexually assaulted many times by men (and am and always have been a lesbian lol) (also sorry if this is inappropriate but i feel like i have no one else to confide in.)

im not sure where i talked about her but i can tell from what u said which ex i was talking about lool its my 1st gf and i never rly talked fully about this bc my ex has since transitioned (only socially tho afaik) & continued to be questionable as fuck in various ways and went from friendly w me to shit talking me bc how dare i share my opinions on my blog which she decided to keep regularly checking for years after our break up despite her having a gf and us hardly ever talking (partially bc of me bc frankly in hindsight i was far too forgiving n despite that she demonised me at the end of our relationship n was weird in various moments after we remained friends)

but she was (& is) also a gendie, which is fine bc when we were together she wasnt like irrational about it. she was the one who told me that SRS doesnt work the way i thought it did, like the genitals didnt magically change and there arent like no differences like i thought, instead she said the differences were obvious. but near the end of our relationship she insisted to me that the way to fix her issues was to make our relationship an open relationship, said that my body made her insecure about her own body n she should sleep w people with a similar body to gain confidence in it. prior to that i was not for an open relationship at all but those comments made me feel like saying no would make me selfish and that if thats what she needs to accept herself then fine yanno. then ofc not soon after she starts e-dating this trans woman who is an abusive creep & rapist (like not even exaggerating here. but ofc those accusations were dismissed for a while bc the trans woman called the woman who came out about the abuse a terf n ppl believed that until trans women also began to call this out). i was like um hows dating someone with a diff body than u and even a diff sex going to make u feel better about ur body when thats the entire reason for the open relationship? never rly got a proper answer but whatever i let it be. then that trans woman wanted to be in a throuple with us basically like wanted to get with me and my ex and would openly fantasise about me to my ex. my ex said "oh she wouldnt be into that, shes not into penises" and the trans woman was like omg why.. :( and my ex was like oh shes penis-repulsed etc and the trans woman was like aw how sad i hope she gets help for that!! n my ex agreed. then my ex told me about this n i was like... what the fuck? it took me a bit but after a few days i was like hey this comment really pissed me off wtf do u mean gets help for that.. and my ex was saying that i should seek therapy to stop being penis-repulsed and should see trans women as women and be open to trans women in a romantic & sexual way basically and i was clearly upset by that n i was like. ur telling me to seek conversion therapy. n she was like nooo and i was like what so u mean some kind of exposure therapy against the "phobia" of penises? and she was like yeah just like that! n i said... thats literally a form of conversion therapy that was done in the past to other gay ppl.. exposing gay ppl to the opposite sex's genitals to try to change their feelings towards it is literally a conversion therapy tactic.

anyways my ex n i ultimately broke up bc it turned out the open relationship was meant to be one-sided somehow and her doing things was ok but if i did things it made me a cheater somehow and my comfort was repeatedly disregarded, i didnt like that trans woman at all at that point n my ex would still keep dating them n it was just all too many bad things at once so i was like fuck it im done w this. ultimately my ex realised that this trans woman is indeed an abuser and i also realised the my 2nd gf who i got with soon after i broke up w my ex is also an abuser. but then when my ex began to transition she started to show more of that homophobia she showed during our relationship like saying the f-slur (calling ppl that) and saying its ok bc "im a bisexual man" which was just.........erm... anyways in the end our last form of communication was her getting her friends to gang up on me for ~ruining the fun~ of a game of among us and then she talked shit about me to one of my close friends (been friends for 14 years) who she never even met and was like ~omg shes so problematic im sorry i just cant handle it anymore~ ......

anyways i feel u lmao. its not inappropriate dont worry and im sorry u went thru that too bc its painful to love someone as they are and yet they basically tell u that ur lesbianism means something is wrong w u bc ur truly not into males at all. honestly i think its best for u to end it asap instead of making the mistake i did, nothing good came out of it for me and i shouldve left for good at the first red flag which was my ex's compulsive lying about serious issues like rape & fgm, or immediately ended it when she was saying that i should go thru conversion therapy otherwise im transphobic

[kwop-kilawtley]

i can’t not comment on this post and i rly think this is the furthest reach I’ve ever read on this site. posts like these prove how subjective twilight interpretations are bc I cannot disagree MORE. calling bella swan a queer feminist icon for choosing Edward Cullen….. I-

Bella and edwards entire relationship is based off of infatuation, unhealthy obsession, horniness, stupidity self hatred & trauma. She is groomed/hypnotized/ put under thrall by him at age 17. aside from him being a vampire, their relationship is the epitome of CONVENTIONAL. comparing this to the queer experience is honestly offensive. bella and Edward follow the traditional lifestyle.. she’s forced to get married young, they won’t have sex till marriage & have a baby. granted yes, it is a demon baby.. but still. she married into the classist rich white family that are all completely “PERFECT.”

Yes, the vampirism makes them unconventional but if we’re comparing to Jacob… who is a werewolf, how the fuck is Jake the “conventional choice?”

You’re using “conventional” but really what you mean is “the natural way Bella’s life would’ve been.” Which, to me, is the right choice. Because she wouldn’t have had to change.

Bella has severe self esteem issues that stem entirely from being with Edward. When Edward leaves her, she attempts suicide multiple times because she sees herself as useless. I get y’all are romanticizing the vampirism aspect and Romeo and Juliet type love but.. yeah it’s toxic. Which it’s fine to be okay with that in this instance.. because this is a work of fiction. But to then compare a toxic relationship like ExB’s to queer love is … not it.

Bella & Edward were extremely selfish & fucked over many people, including the entire wolfpack. The canon endgame essentially enslaves the wolfpack to the cullens with the imprint bullshit. They dragged everyone and anyone around them into their bullshit (ahem, literal war) all because “they’re in love.” Ok…..

Edward strips everything from Bella. He psychologically fucked her up and of course there was no coming back from that. Still, despite being under thrall by Edward, she falls for Jacob and he brings her to life again. But no it couldn’t have been enough, because the damage is done. She’s been exposed to Edwards world, of course a teenager is going to think she’s meant to be with him. She wanted to escape herself. She wanted to be beautiful and perfect and not have to deal with any of her human problems. Can we blame her? No. But how can we act as if this was a good thing for Bella? How was this growth?

Bella turning is the literal opposite of growth in every sense of the word. Every single thing we love about Bella is gone. Her gushing about Arizona, her cooking, her blushing, her clumsiness, her truck, her warmth, her being a daughter. She is constantly feeling inferior, putting herself down. Just read new moon… the way she folds a picture of herself out because she thinks she looks bad next to Edward. And the constant comparing of her looks to him. How she doesn’t even want to look in the mirror. He fuckin ruined her y’all idk lol.

Also keep in mind the timeline of twilight.. all of this happens within like two years. What teenager actually makes sound decisions?

Bella would’ve been happy with Jacob, had Jacob not been forced to change because of the Cullens too. Growing is good but no, Bella and Jake did not grow. They were UPROOTED and traumatized. Bella being a Cullen was escapism and the only thing to stop her from actually dying. Though to me, Bella did die. I don’t see an empowered person. And I certainly do not see a feminist. A teen girl throwing her entire life away for a predatorial man is feminist now? Damn the bar is low. Attempting suicide and being forced to get married and wait for sex after marriage is FEMINISM???? In what world, honestly? Bella didn’t have time to THINK. She just followed her obsessive feelings towards Edward. And also By the time she turns, I feel I completely am reading a new character. Bella Swan DIED. Jake did too once he was forced to imprint and lost all autonomy.

Twilight only makes sense if you view it as a tragedy. No, smeyer didn’t intend for that ofc. She wanted the vampire love story and in her mormon view, maybe this post makes sense. I get the aesthetic and romanticizing of ExB.. but to compare their shitshow of a relationship to a queer relationship is the biggest damn reach.

“this wasn’t a choice between you and jacob. it was a choice between who I should be and who I am”

oH SHIT. oh shit!!!! can we… can we fucking TALK about this???

can we TALK about the fact, that, right before this scene in eclipse was a scene in which jacob says “i’m perfect for you bella, being with me would be as easy as breathing” and bella responds by telling him she loves him but it doesn’t change anything???

like we make fun of bella for being a monsterfucker, a stereotype, a damsel in distress… but this right here? this is real. 

so many people go through life focusing on what they’re supposed to do and who they’re supposed to be. they pursue careers they’ve been told are safe, they make friends with the “right” people, they marry their long term s/o because that’s what they’re supposed to do

people don’t have midlife crises because they took the time to make mistakes and figure out who they are and what they want, they have midlife crises because they’ve always followed the path that was laid out for them and it’s not until they’re in their 40s that they realize how unfulfilling and empty their lives are. 

especially when you’re young, there’s so much emphasis on fitting in, making the “right” choices, not shaking things up. there’s a lot of pressure to follow an assigned path. 

but bella!! bella rejects this entirely. at 18, bella knows what most people don’t learn until their 40s or later; that looking like you have a happy, successful life on paper is not nearly as important as actually living a happy, fulfilling life, regardless of how unconventional it looks. you can see this illustrated in the difference between jessica and bella: jessica is valedictorian, captain of the volleyball team, popular, successful, and, despite all of this, deeply unhappy and insecure. mealwhile bella likes learning for the sake of learning, spends her time doing things she enjoys like reading, keeps to herself because she prefers her own company even if it makes her unpopular, and, oh yeah, decides to join a vampire coven despite the constant danger. none of these are the “right” choices, but they’re the choices that are right for her. and as a result, she ends up confident, empowered, happy and fulfilled. 

what bella is doing in this speech at the end of eclipse is actively choosing to set aside other people’s expectations of what her life is supposed to look like and instead choosing a life that works for her. 

could bella live a normal human life, go to a good college, stay out of danger, probably end up in a safe career in publishing? she could, easily. but that’s not what she wants. and she knows that even if she’d be safe and successful, she’d never be fulfilled. jacob says “being with me would be as easy as breathing” but bella doesn’t want something easy, she wants to be challenged!! she wants to forge her own path!! navigating life or death situations might be scary, but they also make her feel strong, capable, like she’s doing something significant. bella isn’t looking for comfortable, she’s not looking for safe. she’s looking for happiness and fulfillment, no matter what that looks like from the outside. 

forging your own path is scary. not living up to the expectations of your friends and family and actively making decisions they disapprove of is hard. moving forwards towards an uncertain and challenging future is terrifying. and yet bella chooses, over and over again, to do what’s best for herself instead of giving in to what other people want from and for her. 

charlie says “you have to learn to love what’s good for you”. edward says becoming a vampire means choosing damnation. rosalie tells her she’s throwing away her mortality. jacob says being a vampire is immoral and monstrous. her friends think she’s crazy and irresponsible for getting married at 18. 

and yet!! she does it all anyway. 

bella standing her ground and pursuing what she wants despite other’s opinions is a feminist act. bella not giving in to expectations about who she should be and how she should behave is a feminist act. bella rejecting safety and security in favor of happiness and actively refusing to allow the men in her life to make her decisions for her is a feminist act. 

in addition to all this, do you know who else chooses an unconventional life of happiness over an unfulfilling life of convention, comfort, and acceptance? queer people. recognizing and accepting your own queer identity is a process of rejecting social expectations and embracing your truest self even when doing so is uncertain, scary, and actively dissaproved of. 

in conclusion… bella is a queer feminist icon and the end scene of eclipse proves it. 

[seongminiz]

ooh yes!! i’d definitely be interested in talking more about hybrids and if u wanted to talk about the differences that’d be rly cool! i def look forward to that but no pressure!!<33

also.. on the topic of monsterfucking cuz werewolves… um.. sirens? im easily influenced atp but i saw a drabble where like.. a siren’s kiss can make you orgasm, like they can make you cum just from making out with u and bringing u to the edge that way without even having touched u.. the siren putting their fingers into ur cunt to feel you clench n gush around their digits😳😳😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 u may have already seen smth like this before but yeah!!! not 100% sure who i see as a siren… maybe juyeon, sunwoo, sunghoon, heeseung, taeyoung, seongmin, jungmo, jiwoong, hanbin??? just off the top of my head i am just thinking about specific idols now🥴🥴

- 🧁 anon

stopppdkhdbfnf seongmin⁉️⁉️⁉️⁉️ siren!seongmin⁉️⁉️ sorry i immediately tunnel visioned to that i very clearly have a problem :3

i see ur vision n i raise u : needing to kiss ur siren partner to be able to breathe underwater so they can drag u down to the most insidious depth of the ocean AND their spit also working as an aphrodisiac to the point if u r exposed to it enough u can orgasm from only kissing them ★_★ (does it make sense for sirens to have spit as underwater beings ? i dont think so , im pretty sure sea creatures dont need it . will i still include it bc idgaf ? yeah :3)

now idk how far into monsterfucking territory we wanna get but ..... pretty sirens with tentacles 🫠 (yes im thinking abt jungmo yes i will write something abt it like rn immediately after im done with this ask) ... sirens with a breeding kink but instead of cum they fill u with their eggs bc ofc they dont reproduce like humans !

srry if any of this is too much i got a little carried away with my thoughts :')

also ur list is so perfect like yes all of them + chanhee n maybe hao ?? idk they give me siren vibes too . n any of my fromis girls , n junji n yoojung too !!

[aurischolar]

an early morning vent post? on my blog? it’s more likely than you think. free pc check

cw self injury / internalized ableism //

ugh… i’ve been feeling rly burnt out lately and yesterday it was rly overwhelming me how much i need to do and how little i’m capable of actually doing and how hard i have to constantly push myself to do the very little i am capable of.. and idk what the term would be for what i was feeling (overload? anxiety attack?) but everything was rly getting to me and it was making my fibro pain worse so i closed my eyes and i was trying to focus on my breathing but then jewels knocked over my medications on the table directly in front of me and i got so startled and scared and overwhelmed that i reflexively hit myself several times…

self injuring is instinctively how i ground myself when my emotions get too big or i’m experiencing sensory overload but i’m so hyper-conscious of how “crazy brown person upset, seemingly out of control, and using physical force/violence” appears to others that i pretty much have to be past the point where i can even conceive of any other coping method to resort to it… (also like. since i have chronic pain already, i’d rather not inflict more pain on myself if i can avoid it lmao). but man, i was taken a bit by surprise how much shame and fear i felt toward myself afterwards ;n;

i was never exposed to ppl discussing reasons and nuance behind why ppl self-injure (other than depression) until i was an adult and i got into the autistic community on twitter. and i guess truly unlearning the “if you hit yourself you’re crazy and dangerous” messaging from society takes a lot more time than i’d given it… but anyways, i’m gonna try to remember that i’m still recovering from my hysterectomy last month and i need to be kind to myself, even though it can feel like i’m just making up excuses to neglect my responsibilities. where’s a “exhausted and tormented but genuinely still trying to have hope” emoji when i need one