#idk im scared bc i havent done it for months

[shares-a-vest]

My wips haven't been scrapped, what are you talking about???

They are simply just sloshing around in my brain juice. I'm never not thinking about at least half of them at any given time.

They haunt me. Consume me.

[skunkes]

[britneyshakespeare]

I HAVE AN APPOINTMENT WITH A SPECIALIST IN TWO DAYS!!!!!!

[nereidprinc3ss]

hii! i’m a small fanfic writer and i haven’t written in months. i just wanted to ask how do you keep yourself motivated?

(warning i’m abt to start yapping)

i get embarrassed when i write about certain characters bc i feel like i don’t characterize them well or im doing something wrong, and honestly i don’t know how to get my motivation back

i just wanna write abt our boy genius but idk where to start anymore 😕

well honestly i’ve never maintained an interest for as long as i have w reid/cm in general and while it does fluctuate in intensity i genuinely can’t explain why im still enthralled after over a year. like i have always been the person to get grotesquely obsessed with something and then find myself suddenly disgusted with it after like a month or two, so my interest being maintained in this dumb show is honestly like pure luck i guess lol and the fact that i havent hyperfixated on anything else since then? very very odd idk why that happened! anyway more below

also i just love writing, like i have loved writing my entire life long before i wrote fanfic and long before i wrote reid fanfic, so i think the fact that writing is so inextricably a part of who i am makes it easier for me to stay motivated because it’s not like my love of writing is contingent on my continued obsession with the character if that makes sense?

honestly just write him until you feel like you get him right, watch the show and study his mannerisms/how he talks, and write what YOU want to read, that’s super important, inspiration is easiest to tap into when it comes from inside yourself and not based on what you think others would like

it doesn’t need to be perfect there are a million ways to interpret a character!

and my best advice for writers block is to go back like ten lines and change whatever happened because when im most inspired the story literally forms itself and I don’t have to really stop and think about it very much as i go, so if i come to a dead end i just turn around and go a different direction!

but also sometimes you just truly may not have any ideas for a character or not have anything to say about them for the moment and that’s totally okay. in that case i go back and work on drafts or just read drafts, read my favorite fics, watch the show, and don’t force myself to write if it’s just not happening cause there’s no reason to do that

and also idk if this is universal but whenever i set hard and fast dates for myself to get a chapter done by or something i get scared and feel pressured and just completely abandon the whole thing so setting hard dates does not work for me at all and actually turns me off of writing so much

so that’s my advice!! i hope it was helpful<3

[hannieehaee]

Idk if this is appropriate or not (feel free if this is something you don't want to answer) but as a casual kpop stan who really only stans seventeen and listens to other kpop artists on a somewhat frequent basis I just feel as though seventeen is reaching their peak in a way that's far from satisfying. Like idk if this makes sense but to me it seems as tho the members are struggling to keep out of "scandals" with mingyu's incident last year, minghao/seoksoon being labeled as fat phobic earlier this year over out of context clips and now with Joshua (he's not even close to being my favorite member but these rumors and pregnancy stories are honestly making me so upset rn) ...as a fan who feels a genuine attachment to these people it's hard for me to be happy because while Ik the boys deserve every good thing coming their way fame comes with a price and that price is what I'm worried about. Like I get that Pledis isn't SM and seventeen definitely see themselves as family unlike NCT who view themselves more as colleagues I'm so scared that Joshua will eventually leave like Lucas or heaven forbid anything more drastic happens. It's just that I always see these "we could never save them" posts but then the same people who post them also comment the worst things forgetting that idols are humans too. I'm super sorry for the long ask but I just read that jeonghan got hurt and that made me think of the rest of the members and everything else they've been going thru. I'm not even the type of person to get attached to people I barely know but with Seventeen it's like I'm really and honestly praying for their success because they seem that THAT genuine group of people who are just trying their best. Sorry for the rambling

i get what ur saying. dont worry abt sending a long ask! ur welcome to rant abt svt in my inbox whenever! honestly i havent stanned for too long so idk how things were before this past year but i do worry for them lately :/ theyre getting injured too often and they get no rest. i dont like how pledis/hybe are managing them at all. theyve been constantly touring japan very repeatedly for seemingly no good reason at all which has obviously tired them out (theyve been dropping like flies, LITERALLY). pledis had the opportunity to promote them in ways that didnt involve constant performances but have just chosen not to for some reason. i really hope they get to rest soon (unlikely tho since theyre likely gonna have a world tour next year).

about the joshua thing. i feel sosososo bad for him. idk and idc if hes really dating that girl honestly. i do feel like it was kinda dumb of her to consistently post herself in the same places/clothes as him if they really wanted to keep it a secret BUT neither of them deserved the hate/scrutiny they got for it. not even with the pregnancy thingy on her stories. i don't think joshua and lucas' situations are comparable whatsoever since joshua has not done anything wrong unlike lucas. im hoping pledis somehow protects him better but thats unlikely. i dont think any member of svt will ever leave bc as u said, theyre family. cant rlly compare to nct tho lol bc i only stan svt so idk any other groups' dynamics like that. i do get what ur saying tho i have friends who stan nct and svt and theyve said to me that they do see a drastic difference in dynamics between the two groups but thats neither here nor there.

lastly, i have the best hopes for svt. they keep saying theyll only go up from here and i believe that. idk how that will play out with military service in consideration or with what seems to be chronic incidents that keep happening to them (gyu, cheol, and han in the past few months) but i trust and hope they'll be okay. they have a very established fanbase and a rlly good support group with one another so i only see good things for them in the future. hope they get at least a month off soon though.

[viscerawrites]

status update 9/28/2024

just a lil post to announce what fics ive worked on/tasks ive crossed off my checklist today! its mostly for myself rlly fcngnhkk buuut its here if anyone's curious ig? Im just chilling

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what ive accomplished today:

wrote 492 words for chapter 2 of where love didn't exist

today was the first time ive been able to work on this fic (w/o anxiety) since i first posted it in january, so that's pretty nice! tbh i lost so much confidence in it after i lost my therapist since i was hoping to use it as a coping fic while i processed shit. but who knows, maybe it'll still help me learn things abt myself. regardless, im excited to be back at it!

wrote 156 words for my sleep token oneshot wip, the body as a temple ; got it to 913!

i havent worked on this one in a while either lol, mostly bc i started it right before The Anxiety started hitting me every time i sat down to write. i was honestly rlly nervous to return to it cuz i was scared I wouldn't be able to keep writing it at all. but im giving myself the grace to move slow, so. rare W for me.

retyped/sorta edited 582 words for chapter 1 of my hollywood undead wip the exorcism of jorel decker

i actually posted this 1st chapter a long while ago! then i deleted it, tried to rework into original fiction, realized i was having much more fun writing it as bandfic, and then foolishly orphaned the original version instead of just deleting </3 but the good news abt that is. idk if i still have it in my google docs at all. so at least i have that to reference LOL.

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soo.

today is saturday september 28 (this month is going by way too fast fr) and it's just past 6pm rn. got a late start today bc i was exhausted as shit for a while, then i talked to my mom incessantly for what was apparently hours. So i only got started around 3pm (but i still needed to warm up, soo it took longer. Bleh).

didn't set my checklist goals at the start of the day like i planned to bc i was having The Anxiety and a bit of decision paralysis. and was also worried abt.. Various things. so it doesn't feel as successful today, but ive still gotten shit done and that's what should matter to me.

out of everything ive typed today, ive done abt 1,230 words in total so far. Most of that was unfortunately just me retyping shit ive already written and am now moving from google docs to ellipsus (which i highly recommend btw). i typically prefer to retype into new software instead of pasting; it gets the brain flowing better.

but i did still write some new words, and a lot of what i retyped was modified and added to. or cut. Whatever it needed rlly.

im still trying to find the proper schedule for myself + the best way to juggle my millions of projects/ideas. I need to allow myself some wiggle room while still having some structure. adhd is making this a bit difficult (as it so often does), but it's rlly just trial and error rn. Plus a lot of self-acceptance and focusing on making things easier and more fun for myself - instead of worrying abt the "most reasonable" way to do things. Or anything others might recommend.

I do still plan on writing some more before the night is done, so I might be back w/ an update for this before I head to bed. I got distracted by my brother while writing this post so it's now just after 6:45 LOL.

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gonna close this post off w/ music ive been rlly liking today! bc,, why not.

Animals - Ice Nine Kills (maroon 5 cover)

Disturbia - The Cab (rihanna cover)

What I Never Learned In Study Hall - Ice Nine Kills

[borrelia]

i love fleetway sonic hes so simple hes so obviously bad with emotions. blah blah other sonics* also bottle things up but other sonics are Tricky. they have their effective little facades and are always putting aside their feelings for others in a way that makes it very difficult to tell Whats Up with them. fleetway sonic sucks shit at this. when he's upset Everyone Knows bc he gets Mad. he's very obviously insecure and it manifests in very negative ways. he's grumpy and he's mad and he's miserably depressed and he's running away and so on. when porker lewis, who btw just got done being trapped on miracle planet with all the metal sonics for a month or however long running and hiding for his life, says "i think I'm done adventuring im scared im just so scared" sonic is just MEAN to him and its literally just bc sonic is upset his friend is leaving and hes fuckign TERRIBLE with emotions he just gets angry and mean!!

AND. AND. lets talk about for a second that when johnny dies hes absolutely devastated... he never even Considered his friends could get hurt. but amys like "no, we all know we're literally risking our lives. we're prepared to die sonic, didn't you know?" this guy can NOT deal with thinking about bad things he can NOT deal with negative emotions THATS LIKE THE WHOLE DEAL WITH SUPER SONIC!!! HE CAN'T DEAL!! augghghghgh i love fleetway sonic

*archie sonic might be an exception to this. idk i havent read the comic but i respect archie sonic and his problems.

[alelelesimz]

totk 100% progress ramble :D a bit long

oki so for context i finished totk last july. by then i wasn't using any guides (other than some help in certain puzzles here and there :p) and by the time i beat ganondorf i was at 66.97%! sadly i didn't take any screenshots of how many koroks i had by then but what i know is that i had already maxed out my inventory so it was around 450 or something, not too bad i think.

after this i stopped playing for a few months and this month i got back to it. i started roaming around but then decided it was time to tackle the interactive map. of course i had already finished a big chunk of the game and i didn't really want to go korok by korok checking stuff on the map, so mind you it is not very accurate lol.

here's what i have right now

completion: 84.14%

main quests: 23/23 ✔

side adventures: 60/60 ✔

shrine quests: 31/31 ✔

side quests: 128/139

memories: 18/18 ✔

hyrule compedium: 449/509

recipes: 87/228 (i haven't even started with this, it's just what i randomly have lol)

energy cells: 8/8 batteries ✔

paraglider fabrics: 24/29

koroks: 717 (including the ones i've used for inventory)

wells: 56/58

locations, armor, other stuff like that i'll add later i can't be bothered rn. here's how my interactive map is going (not the one in-game, this is stuff that i have yet to check)

NOW LISTEN

the sky is basically done, i need to check a couple of islands bc i'm not entirely sure i have those chests or not, i still have to do the hebra labyrinth and i havent fought any of the three king gleeoks bc im a coward

the surface is where i'm going the hardest. like i said, there is actually much more stuff that i have already done but i haven't checked yet bc i have to go in game and see if i've done it or not, so keep that in mind.

as you can see i already tackled the entire east of the map. i need to go back to check on a couple of hinox and talus, some gleeok that i havent been brave enough to fight (even tho i literally know how to, they're not that bad really) and yes. i'm not fucking touching lynels or gloom hands unless i absolutely have to lmao.

i'm kinda going region by region, i started at akkala and went all the way down to faron. i'm thinking of going to hebra next since that's the area i've been ignoring the most for some reason, and the few shrines i have left are all in there! so yeah.

and as for the depths, lets just say i have barely touched this map, i have explored a lot but it is still the area i have done the least. idk i just dont like being completely lost and always scared lol. but i do have to go there cause im running low on zonaite from building hover bikes to help koroks lol. i'd also like some good weapons too that'd be nice

anyways that's it thanks for reading my rant 👍 here's a funny pic

[rexaleph]

Ohhhhh my god. I have always been me!!! Throwback style vulnerabilityposting

This severe breakdown started (or became unmanagable) when i tried to quit my job earlier this year and it didnt work out. like last time 10 years ago!!! When i tried to transition and the psych i went to couldnt help me and then etc.

i had one idea for how to fix everything and save myself and when it didnt happen i fell apart!!

And like, im much more functional now. ive done everything i could, made good choices, kept up w work but basically deprioritized it, i took care of myself physically, i reached out, made local friends, tried dating, went to a therapist (they said im outside of their competence and need psychiatry/medication - but i have horrific health anxiety and am very scared of psych drugs), reconnected w my family, stopped drinking, made art, took a trip. Instead of hiding in my room for 4 months while everything slipped away and then attempting suicide like i did at 19. (Also made some insane decisions and spent 1/3 of my savings. But all in trying to help myself!) (I did occasionally think back on back rhen and wonder if what i have now is worse than then, but did not draw conclusions on the situation overall)

And the problem then and now ofc is the need for fixing everything and saving myself, finding life as is unbearable! and all the good mental health moves ive made were targeted towards creating a liveable life but i just kept getting worse. Im basically never not crying w terror these days. And what fixed it then was finding another way towards transition and working towards that (slowly and painfully and terrifiedly!) (years long climb out of the abyss!) (I am maybe not in the abyss rn!) I didnt know how to try again right away!!

Like this morning i was like hm, what if i applied for jobs again. (Bc basically seems like my defence got pushed back again, or actually my boss said sth dumb that suggests he sees me sticking around and doesnt realize im not at my limit, i am beyond it, if im meant to finish my thesis i need at least a month off, maybe a whole sabbatical,maybe psychiatric care) And then had this entire epiphany. And i gotta bring lunch to my grandparents across town and like support and take care of them, then go see my parents, whom ive missed and waited for desperately, and now ofc i am contemplating moves they will uh not approve of lmao. Ive been getting ready to have a breakdown in front of them and like ask for a hug bc we havent touched each other in years, and idk if i need that anymore.

Anyway yeah, what does that do to the terror? Idk.

[odysseys-blood]

This is literally the first time ever ill do one of these after being tagged in ig bc i always forgot! anyways got tagged by @taketheringtolohac for a "9 people you want to get to know better" game!

Last Song: Sway - A Trak & AJ Christou ft. Duckwrth

i luv duckwrth and this song is super wavy someone come dance to it with me

Favorite color: Idk what to call it like a wine purple? this thang and similar shades

i also rly like deep reds too. if u ever notice i accidentally tend to use mainly the red-blue portion of the color wheel in art and its not a concious decision either it just kinda happens and i try to steer away from it every once in a while and it never sticks.

Currently Watching: nothing rly!

it takes me forever to start watching things and get through them. The last series i finished I think were Witchblade and Link Click abt a month or so ago. I was also planning to watch yuri kuma sometime soon bc i remembered ppl posting about it but i never watched it while it was airing, as well as a rewatch of banana fish bc my brother brought it up bc he was using it as a topic for his paper recently????? i dont even know why he knows it but oh. well i guess. was also gonna watch mignon but the art style is getting me and my city hunter plans have been dashed by the sheer volume of episodes scaring me for now

Sweet/Spicy/Savory: i like them all!

not sure i rly prefer one over the others but i like to bake so maybe sweet. did you know my baking enemy is cookies idk what it is but if im making my own from scratch somehow they always turn out wrong. fav thing to bake is cinnamon rolls i just havent done any in a while bc they take so long (also bc i wanna do peach cobbler style cinnamon rolls which ive done before! but that takes extra long bc of the extra toppings you have to make)

Relationship Status: who want me

Current Obsession: ok prefacing this with these r not good games and im gonna censor the names so they dont show up in tags

i got into some eroge gacha named wh*t in hell is bad back in october and it has not let up since. i filled an entire sketchbook almost w/ doodles of my mc. also replayed through nu c*rnival recently bc they added voice overs for almost the entire game for the second anniversary (ive been playing since maybe 3 months after its release). everything is on the backburner to me rn besides these games and maybe the everyday maintenance of shinozaki bc im thinking abt finishing it bc i love it. anyways forget abt those last two and look at shinozaki

Last Thing You Searched: list of mythical weapons

this was not for anything important except that i rly wanna get a black cat and name it excalibur (nicknamed cali for short). however excalibur is exclusively for if i get the litte black kitty of my dreams but if i get a cat w/ another coat eventually i have to pick a different name so i was brainstorming.

i didnt think this was so long (///￣ ￣///)

anyways ill tag @meicheesecake @feluka @beepiiboop @nil-number @theunstablejester @luminousrabbittt @scamoosh @tilapiamafia and im forgetting names but if u wanna do one then tag ur it ☆〜（ゝ。∂ )

[skunkes]

need to find a way to let people know that I usually accept comms outside of what I usually offer, without it sounding like an invitation to ignore my pre established openings or without sounding like I Do Take Those Comms Now All The Time

[kurthorton-moving]

I log into my other blogs multiple times every day and yet. Nothing Happens on them

[doebt]

i love waking up to little messages and asks and stuff from u guys...Like you guys r my buddies...my little friends

[gayasfuck-universe]

.

[somethingwitty-somethingsweet]

:)