#idk im just so emotional
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part of my nimona viewing experience. idk why but i got super emotional in the first five minutes.
ID by @peachygos
[ID: A comic juxtaposing screenshots from Nimona 2023 and drawings of a person watching the movie. The first screenshot is Ambrosius's introduction; he grins at the camera as the news anchors introduce him, his name in big print on the screen. The person watching thinks with a bored expression, "Ah. Ok. This guy is gonna be the jackass. Typical golden-boy stuck-up prince that thinks he's better than the underdog. I see where this is going.
The next screenshot is of Ambrosius and Ballister on the platform above the arena, Ambrosius doing his news anchor bit and saying, "Aaand will Ballister be broody on the biggest day of his life?" Ballister laughs at his antics. The person watching now has a small smile, as they think, "Huh! Aw, they're actually nice to each other and are friends! I wasn't expecting that, that's nice-"
The third and final screenshot is a shot from behind of Ballister leaning his head on Ambrosius's shoulder. The caption reads "the knighting ceremony is just moments away." The person watching now has a touched, soft expression, like they're holding back tears. They think "OH." as a partially transparent doodle behind them bends over crying and blubbering, with another doodle showing their heart shot through with an arrow. /end ID]
#nimona#nimona movie#my art#i dont know WHY the relationship between these two made me so happy. genuinely. but i was tearing up when they held hands#idk man. just- the feeling of 'ah. friendship between these two men like always. i see-' and then#'OH. oh god theyre in love. that so sweet. i wasnt expecting that what the fuck.'#im not an outwardly emotional person
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87 donnie might have some issues since the last time he showed his van to inter-dimensional brothers they didnt exactly appreciate it
someone once pointed out that most donnies issues are that they need to be told they did a good job, who better to hear it from than yourself?
previous part | all comics in this series (chrono)
#tmnt crossover#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#tmnt#tmnt 1987#tmnt 87#rise donnie#rise donatello#87 donnie#87 donatello#rottmnt donnie#tmnt donatello#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#art#my art#bulbasturtlesforever2#THIS ONE WAS IN THE BRAIN FOR SOOOOOOOO LONG YOU GUYS DONT EVEN KNOW#THIS DYNAMIC WAS MY FAV TO THINK ABOUT HHHHH IM SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG#sorry if the colours look weird i was trying to like. make it look good#idk if i succeeded i just realized what was really important was the emotions#will get the editor to gimme image description later sorry abt that
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I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#fop hazel#fop dev#dev dimmadome#art#digital art#doodles#I wish Hazels parents were more flawed tbh...#Like I get why they wanted to have them be good rep so that young people could know what a good family is supposed to look like#but it felt like every time there was an opportunity to have them do something genuinely flawed-#they would perfectly sidestep it before it even became a problem#I really enjoyed the first episode because it showed a hint of a very unique emotional issue Hazel had related to having a therapist mother#The idea that she has to be mature all the time#constantly living around therapy speak makes her feel like she isnt allowed room to breathe#Feeling unable to express her emotions without someone there giving advice that she isnt ready for yet#just small things!#She feels so pressured to be emotionally mature all the time BECAUSE she gets praised for it#maybe im projecting everyone always tell me I was so mature for my age...#But like I really really wanted to see that from her!!#And then after that episode it doesnt even come up again#The only other episode that features the moms job as a conflict is the one where she wants to spend more time with her#which is a fine conflict I guess but it still ends with her saying all the perfect things#I wanted Markus to be more of a genuine threat too. even if he didnt actually do anything having him be more looming would have been nice#I feel like they mostly forget hes a para scientist most of the time idk.#I just felt like his interactions could have been more unique#Maybe he will be in future seasons idk
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so, would you?
nothing important under the cut, you don't need to look haha
#inspired by the random youtube short i saw about how these types of questions are not really about logic but about emotion and reassurance#doesn't matter if the question doesn't make sense. you say 'yes' because you love them no matter what. not because its a worm or a bug or#or anything. its a way of saying 'i will love you when you've changed and when you're different. because it's still *you*.'#idk something about it just felt so gentle and genuine. like a pure display of affection through a silly question...#and of course fnc was the first thing i thought about because i got brainworms#jrwi fish and chips#jrwi riptide#jrwi chip#gillion tidestrider#my art#sketch#also im back from a vacation! and i feel so awful i got sick the first day home and im sitting here at 6am drawing fishes and chips#the dialog feels a little ooc but i cant figure out if it really is or if its because my head hurts and i cant think#tbh it doesn't really matter.......... but it matters to me augh#ALSO yes the under the cut bit is about episode 109. i dont know if its clear or not
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ill be honest as much as i love to criticise the use of fatphobia for comedy ill never be able to hold the fatphobic jokes in kung fu panda against it
like yea those movies are guilty of dipping into The Usual Tropes for a cheap laugh but not only is the character writing for the fat characters the strongest and most sympathetic ive Ever seen literally just the character designs of the pandas in the 3rd movie get me choked up sometimes. theyre all so appealing and clearly treated with the same care and attention as everyone else without copping out and making them Barely Fat. po is already a size that doesnt exist in film protags and hes still the thinnest person in that whole village and that meant a lot to me
#i havent seen the movies in ages but the design of the ribbon dancer is sooo . AUGH#like not just to have that many fat characters but have them be REALLY fat without being treated as ugly or nasty#OR THEIR FATNESS BEING TEMPORARY !!! its their natural state thats how theyre meant to look!!!!#its easy to get caught in the thinking of like. having fat characters be a minority in a lineup to reflect 'real life'#EVEN THO that isnt always true but regardless#having a cast where the nonfat characters are so few and far between theyre hardly present at all. so fucking enriching 2 me#imo writing-wise the third one is by far the weakest but it still is just so important to me that they designed the pandas like that#can i kfp post on main is that allowed#idk i watched a video essay im emotional abt this again
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Raiko ... Reiden .... yea we gotta think of a better shipname
honorary doodle from January that started this all:
#mk1#mortal kombat 1#mortal kombat#mortal kombat fanart#mk fanart#raiden#mk raiden#reiko#mk reiko#kung lao#general shao#raiden x reiko#raiko#harvart#im thinking something maybe like thunderspear or thunderbolt or something idk#I actually really like doing rendered pieces more often now bc think they come out better#I GOTTA DO RAILAOMAS NEXT#AND i wanted to do something for john/shi week so we'll see if anything happens with that#raiden saying “I dunno he's nice to me” is just him not knowing how to describe his emotions he's AUTISTIC!#also...story expansion tomorrow......im so nervousssssssss
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY HYUNJIN 🖤
#hyunjin#skz#bystay#staydaily#gifs#stray kids#love u with every fiber found within me. no one has ever impacted my life quite like you#i will be thinking about you even at the ends of the world#I WILL NEVER LET U GOOO O OO OO. OOOOOH my everything forever and ever like we are 4lyfers for real#if he asked i would hand pick stars from the sky for him just like flowers#😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞❤️❤️#idk why im getting so emotional rn like woah hh h woahhh woahhh#ive never been more proud and excited to be a fan of someone#the passion love and care u put in to everything u do is unmatched and#im looking forward to future knowing how u want to improve at things u love#even though to me u are perfect rn as u are#but the thought of u wanting to show us even greater things in the future makes me vibrate#thank u for being u and bringing light and love to my life every day 🥹#i hope the whole universe brings u all the love back u give to it#YIPPIEEEWW MIGHT OF SHED A TEAR#HAPPY BDAY MY LOVIEEEEEEEEE ILYYYYYYY
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Had this “Steve only hates impersonal nicknames” idea in my notes for a while and then after seeing @cholvoq ‘s wonderful art I had to turn it into a real thing for Valentine’s Day. This is 2.4k, i’m SO sorry edit: you can now read this on ao3 :)
Eddie’s a nickname guy. It’s always Dusty this and Gare-Bear that and JeffJeff here and Bobbie there and it’s Mikey and Maxxii and Nance-pants and Johnny and… big boy?
Him being a nickname guy makes it near impossible to hide his crushes. Thankfully, Steve had been really cool about it. Sure, he seemed a little stunned, but Eddie still had all his teeth in place by the end of that interaction, so he had called that a win.
He hadn’t known then that Steve was… different. Or he was starting to see it but what he thought was shocking then had really been just the tip of the iceberg. He hadn’t expected Steve to be nice. Or funny, or caring, or protective, or understanding.
He had learned all of that after everything. During chats on Hellfire nights while the kids cleaned up after themselves, during hangouts at the diner with Robin and Nancy, during Saturday afternoons when he went to pick out a movie only to end up talking with Steve, their conversation flowing until it was cut short by Steve’s shift ending.
After some time, Eddie had gotten to know Steve even more during long weekday nights when one came over to bring the other something they left behind, or to share a record, or to demand the beers the other owes or to show the other a stupid article in a stupid magazine only to end up making dinner together and watching a movie afterwards.
They stopped making excuses about two weeks ago.
Eddie had asked “do youuu… wanna come over?” on Saturday night, while nervously twirling his keys as Steve locked the front doors of the Family Video.
The evening chill had cut right through Eddie’s leather jacket as his keys clanged against his rings. But Steve had nodded with a smile and asked “pizza?” on their way to their cars, and Eddie had forgotten all about the cold.
Point being, Steve had been just fine with ‘big boy’ when it happened. Eddie’s a nickname guy. Him and Steve are hanging out more now, and so, Eddie’s been calling him more nicknames. Some of them are very intentional, others come completely without thinking, and it turns out, Steve takes issue with a few of them.
The first time it happens, Eddie’s underneath his van trying to get the damn thing to cooperate, the recent winter was tough on it, and it keeps dying out on him.
Steve sits nearby perched on a little stool, wearing his Family Video vest since he came by right after finishing his morning shift to see if they could make plans for lunch. Eddie suggested they grab something at the diner if and when he finally gets the van to start back up and Steve had agreed to wait.
He’s been telling Eddie about tonight’s basketball- game? match? super bowl? Is there such a thing as the major leagues of basketball? Eddie’s not sure, but he adores the sound of Steve’s voice and he’s kind of invested in the drama of players switching teams and retiring and whatever else Steve wants to tell him about. So, he’s been listening, not really bothering with asking for clarification for what he doesn’t understand yet. He’ll figure it out as they go.
He's blindly patting the floor around his legs for his rag, when he feels Steve put it right in his hand.
Eddie’s relieved. "Thanks, bud!" he says, the nickname just rolling off his tongue effortlessly, no meaning attached.
It gets kind of quiet all of a sudden. After about five seconds of Steve not talking, Eddie comes out to check on him, and finds him frowning at his legs.
"Don't call me ‘bud’" Steve requests, looking up at his face, his tone just a tad harsh. Eddie would think he ran into King Steve if he didn't know any better.
As it is, Eddie gets Steve probably thinks the nickname is childish or patronizing, so he doesn’t think twice of it, just gets a little sheepish and says "sorry, Stevie".
Steve smiles at that, a little cocky. He does his little mean girl shaking his head thing like he just got exactly what he wanted. Eddie feels his face twist a bit in confusion, but he likes it when Steve gets a little mean so he doesn't say anything about it and just dives back under his van as Steve resumes their conversation.
The second time it happens, they’re outside the supermarket. The kids shot out of the van as soon as it rolled to a stop, Steve calling out a warning after them while still listening to Eddie explain why Star Wars and Star Trek are actually very different but really good in their own way. Their conversation carries on as they hop out of the van, lock up and walk to meet at the front.
“I’m telling you, Star Trek is great. You would love it,” Eddie says, “you just have to give it a chance”.
Steve rolls his eyes at him, but Eddie can see his smile.
“Ok, alright,” Steve answers, “you can show me tonight then”, it’s almost too nonchalant. Eddie has to hide his grin.
Steve’s been suggesting they hang out more and more lately, and he can’t help but feel a bit hopeful. They clearly enjoy each other’s company, their time together is never dull, Steve seems to be really comfortable around him and maybe, just maybe…
“Should we get beers then?” Eddie asks, excited at the prospect of some more time alone with him. They haven’t had a weeknight hangout since Eddie fixed his van last week. He kinda misses the very specific color of Steve’s eyes in the Harringtons’ yellow living room lamplight.
“Yeah,” Steve says, his eyes get soft in a way Eddie only started noticing a couple of weeks back, “we can watch it at my place” he adds. Eddie thinks he definitely hasn’t seen him look at anyone else like that.
To shake himself out of the spell of the prettiest boy he’s ever met making the prettiest eyes he’s ever seen at him and ONLY him, Eddie grabs Steve by the wrist and starts marching them towards the supermarket’s front doors.
Without thinking, Eddie says "c'mon man," as they go.
Steve, who started easily following him (like he always does these days), suddenly stops in his tracks. Eddie gets pulled back and almost stumbles on top of Steve. He'd get flustered if Steve wasn't frowning at him like he’d just said the most insulting thing he’d heard this month.
"Don't call me ‘man’" Steve says. Eddie feels his eyebrows raise a bit.
He debates asking why but doesn't question Steve in the end. He’d rather offer understanding than judgement to him any day.
So, Eddie takes advantage of Steve's wrist in his hand, and squeezes there a bit, says "I'm sorry sweetheart" sincerely, looks into Steve's eyes so he can see Eddie means it.
Steve blushes a bit then, not really used to the nickname yet, Eddie just got the balls to start using it last week. Eddie himself is not really used to seeing Steve blush, and at something he says? It’s too much power for one metalhead.
But he gets distracted from Steve’s blush because it happens again, Steve basically preens like a peacock once Eddie switches nicknames. Looks smug, like he has Eddie wrapped around his finger and well, Eddie guesses he does, so, no arguments there either.
He just smiles back at Steve, really, has no other choice, it’s not like he can control how he reacts to the most gorgeous fucking face the universe could ever come up with. But he tugs him along again, Steve happily following this time.
The next time it happens, Steve’s leaning against his kitchen island, with Eddie leaning across from him against the counter.
The party is watching a movie in the Harringtons’ living room and at some point, Eddie got up to get himself another soda, Steve not so subtly followed after him, taking the empty popcorn bowls to the sink. He struck up a conversation and there they stayed.
Eddie’s been turning the small gesture around and around in his head. Clearly Steve’s not shy about seeking him out, and he’s obviously good with the party knowing, which means a hell of a lot because those are Steve’s people, that’s his family.
Eddie’s honestly running out of excuses to not ask him out. Seeing him reaching out to bump his sneaker against Eddie’s boot when he says something funny, laughing just a little too hard at Eddie’s dumb joke; seeing his eyes widen a bit when Eddie compliments him; seeing him notice when Eddie is holding back from talking too much, and not letting it go until he thinks Eddie’s shared all of his opinions on the subject; Eddie thinks maybe he can be brave, when it comes to Steve.
And this week might be the perfect time.
Here they are still, the movie long ended and several easy conversations floating from the living room to the kitchen, where they’re still engrossed on their own.
“I mean I taught the kid how to do his hair for god’s sake!” Steve is saying, Eddie’s laughing easily, and he has a slight suspicion Steve’s acting way more annoyed than he really is because he knows Eddie dies laughing every time Steve roasts the kids.
“Just, if he’s gonna give me hair advice, he should work on that goddamn tone. At the Very Least.” Steve finishes, Eddie giggling all the while at his Annoyed Mom tone.
"Yeah, dude!" Eddie agrees, wanting to egg him on, but Steve's face suddenly falls and whatever remark Eddie had locked and loaded just fades away.
Eddie blinks perplexed; he’s getting déjà vu.
Steve frowns at him, says "Don't call me ‘dude’".
It’s eerie, only he sounds a bit annoyed this time.
Eddie thinks, maybe someone called Steve ‘dude’ before in an unpleasant way, so he doesn't pry. Instead, he takes the chance to call him a nickname he likes more, and says "Sorry, pretty boy", his heart fluttering in the milliseconds he has to wait for Steve’s reaction.
And it happens one last time: Steve absolutely beams at that one, his smile so bright it makes Eddie want to jump in place.
He leans further back on the counter returning the smile, not noticing the common thread in Steve’s reactions to him switching nicknames.
But then the glint in Steve’s eyes suddenly brightens a dim corner of Eddie’s brain. He gets this feeling that reminds him of a perfectly set up riddle or finding that one perfect note for his latest song. It’s like everything suddenly just makes sense.
Eddie feels realization dawn on his face as he pushes himself off the counter to walk right into Steve’s personal bubble, grabs both of Steve's hands.
"Steve" Eddie says, not even caring that he sounds like the name is dripping in honey when it comes out of his mouth. With how sweet Steve is, it might as well be.
Steve just looks at him a little stunned, but doesn't say anything. Eddie draws circles in the back of his palms to reassure him.
"Why don't you want me to call you ‘dude’?" Eddie asks, trying to find out if this whole thing is what he thinks it is.
Steve looks down at their joined hands,.
"You call Nancy that sometimes..." Steve mumbles.
His answer would sound inconsequential to the unsuspecting, certainly would have to Eddie as late as last week, but Eddie thinks he’s finally getting it, and he hums his understanding.
"How ‘bout ‘man’?" he asks
Steve replies "You call Robin that sometimes..." his eyes still on their hands.
Eddie nods his agreement.
"I call everyone those things" he points out.
Steve agrees. "Exactly" he says, finally looking at him again, sounding annoyed and confirming Eddie’s suspicions.
Eddie feels his face split into a smile. He wants to grab Steve’s beautiful freaking face and just plant one on him.
"Can I still call you sweetheart?" he ventures instead. The nickname brings the hint of a smile to Steve's face but then he seems to realize something not so pleasant.
"Do you call someone else ‘sweetheart’?" Steve asks in return.
"No one" Eddie says, shaking his head, his tone vehement.
"Then yes" Steve finally answers. Eddie's heart wants to beat right out of his chest.
He interlocks their fingers to ground himself, Steve looks down at their hands and smiles at the sight.
"So, you don't want me to call you something I call someone else?" Eddie states, more than asks, calling Steve’s eyes back to his again.
"Anyone else" Steve confirms, holding his gaze.
Eddie lets out a small shuddering exhale and feels his heart fluttering in his throat, he really cannot believe this boy.
"Steve" Eddie drawls, dripping in honey again, his hands coming up to cradle Steve's face because he really can't resist anymore "Sweetheart" he says.
Steve's eyes grow a little wide and he starts blushing so much that Eddie can feel it in his palms.
"Steevieeee" Eddie sinsongs, squeezing Steve's face a bit "Pretty boy" Eddie calls him. Steve just keeps looking at him and a small smile blooms in his pretty, pretty face.
"Would you let me take you out to dinner this Friday?" Eddie finally asks him, his fingers curling to the back of Steve's head to play with his hair there. Steve's eyes get even wider.
" 's Valentine's this Friday" he points out. Eddie knows.
"Mmhm. Want you to be my Valentine." Eddie tells him, tugs his hair gently, "How's that sound?" he asks, bold in a way he never has been before. Steve blushing does things to him.
"Sounds nice" Steve answers. He smiles and nods while his hands hook on Eddie's belt loops.
"Then it's a date?" Eddie asks, trying not to sound too eager. He thinks he fails spectacularly but Steve beams and pulls him in to kiss his cheek.
"It's a date" Steve tells him, his breath ghosting on Eddie's cheek and making him shiver.
Steve pulls back, lets go of Eddie’s belt loops and tugs on a strand of his hair gently, smiling like the cat that got the cream as he walks back out into the living room.
Eddie’s gonna make this the best Valentine’s Day date Steve has ever been on.
#steddie#steddie fanfic#steddie fanfiction#steddie headcanon#steddie fic#Steve maybe gets a lil emotional the first time Eddie calls him 'sunshine'#steve harrington#eddie munson#adhd/autism eddie my beloved#fanfic#stranger things#sigh. im not really satisfied with this I wish I could get more of Steve in it#i ESPECIALLY wish it was better so it could live up to that AMAZING ART OMG IM INLOVE WITH IT 😭#but it's almost not Valentines anymore so here#have it#i just want it to leave me alooooneeeeeee#but anyways#i might put it on ao3 later#i just get so embarrassed about my other fics but i also dont wanna orphan them idk#asdfghjkllkjhgf#whatever. good night#i hope your Valentines was nice <3#bossy mean girl princess steve supremacy forever#.
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fionna's world being represented by a dandelion makes so much sense ... they're weeds. yet people make wishes through them, changing their whole meaning from something meant to be destroyed to something hopeful.
dandelions are also resilient and it makes sense that something associated with them would. you know. perservere despite the destruction caused by the scarab.
but ultimately i think what REALLY made me tear up over this is that dandelions are really boring plants. when you're a kid you blow on them and make your wish but they're not eyecatching or anything but still, fionna's final wish was for her old world to still exist as it was when she left it (> plain and simple. boring even).
like the moment she realized she would lose her friends, and that her friends might forget each other if the world got its magic back, she immediately decided she didn't want it and I think that ties back to the dandelion metaphor so well... like, do you really need magic to be real to find it everywhere? or can you turn something boring into something magical?
#remi rambles#fionna and cake#f&c spoilers#sorry i have many Not Silly thoughts about the finale#i looove fionna she was such a wonderful character .. so well written and real TO ME#shes my best friend shes my everything shes silly she makes me so emotional#like even when simon told her he was gonna wear the crown to get the magic back to her world#< the moment she realized he would go crazy she started to think about it#like she wont sacrifice a friend just to get what she really wants#i really loved her journey through the show idk#going from being so over her routine > finding out magic can be dark too > making her own magical world just by loving her friends#like its so much more than 'the power of friendship will save us!!'#yes she saved the world thanks to the love she had for her friends but it was backed up by a full journey beforehand#i think. the line about having functional toilets (while still being a p good joke) makes the point so much clearer#we have been to the end of the universe and back but we have functioning toilets !!!#like do u get it. do i sound crazy#< crazy person voice#anyway yes im done sorry#live laugh love fionna and cake
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coloring experiments with some displeased españas 🍅 i always love digging beneath his optimism to find the negativity underneath thats Just as passionate -- its one of the most fascinating things about him to me
closeups under the cut
#hetalia world stars#hws spain#aph spain#i simultaneously Am him and need him carnally. and im not sure which ones more embarrassing#his anger and my anger are.... upsettingly similar and ive been very Angry with my job recently. so. ofc ive been thinking about him#country of passion in all emotions. and the sun isnt just warm and bright. it Burns.#anyway this is Kind of a little bit of a vent piece maybe idk#my art#'i need to rest my hand' i say and then i get so furious at work these all come out of my brain#i have never been so close to starting a physical fight with my coworkers lmaoooo.
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me and den @unloneliest were just talking about murderbot and ART's relationship and i want to discuss how they quite literally complete each other's sensory and emotional experience of the world!!
there's a few great posts on here such as this one about how murderbot uses drones to fully and properly experience the world around it (it also accesses security cameras/other systems for this same purpose). but i haven't seen anyone so far talk about how once MB stops working for the company and consequently doesn't have a hubsystem/secsystem to connect to anymore (which for its entire existence up to that point had been how it was used to interacting with its environment/doing its job), after it meets ART, ART starts to fill that gap.
ART gives MB access to more cameras, systems, and information archives than it would normally be able to connect with while MB is on its own outside of ART's... body(? lol), but also directly gives MB access to its own cameras, drones, archives, facilities, and processing space. additionally, so much of ART's function is dedicated to analysis, lateral thinking, and logical reasoning, and it not only uses those skills in service of reaching murderbot's goals, it teaches murderbot how to use those same skills. (ART might be a bit of an asshole about how it does this, but that doesn't negate just how much it does for murderbot for no reason other than it's bored/interested in MB as an individual.)
we all love goofing about how artificial condition can basically be boiled down to "two robots in a trench coat trying to get through a job interview" (which is entirely accurate tbh) but that's also such a great example of ART fulfilling the role of both murderbot's "hubsystem" and "secsystem", allowing it to fully experience its environment/ succeed in its goals. ART provides MB with crucial information, context, and constructive criticism, and uses its significant processing power to act as MB's backup and support system while they work together.
from ART's side of things, we get a very explicit explanation of how it needs the context of murderbot's emotional reactions to media in order to fully understand and experience the media as intended. it tried to watch media with its humans, and it didn't completely understand just by studying their reactions. but when it's in a feed connection with murderbot, who isn't human but has human neural tissue, ART is finally able to thoroughly process the emotional aspects of media (side note, once it actually understands the emotional stakes in a way that makes sense for it, it's so frightened by the possibility of the fictional ship/crew in worldhoppers being catastrophically injured or killed that it makes murderbot pause for a significant amount of time before it feels prepared to go on. like!! ART really fucking loves its crew, that is all).
looking at things further from ART's perspective: its relationship with murderbot is ostensibly the very first relationship it's been able to establish with not only someone outside of its crew, but also with any construct at all. while ART loves its crew very much (see previous point re: being so so scared for the fate of the fictional crew of worldhoppers), it never had a choice in forming relationships with them. it was quite literally programmed to build those relationships with its crew and students. ART loves its function, its job, and nearly all of the humans that spend time inside of it, but its relationship with murderbot is the first time it's able to choose to make a new friend. that new friend is also someone who, due to its partial machine intelligence, is able to understand and know ART on a whole other level of intimacy that humans simply aren't capable of. (that part goes for murderbot, too, obviously; ART is its first actual friend outside of the presaux team, and its first bot friend ever.)
and because murderbot is murderbot, and not a "nice/polite to ART most of the time" human, this is also one of the first times that ART gets real feedback from a friend about the ways that its actions impact others. after the whole situation in network effect, when the truth of the kidnapping comes to light and murderbot hides in the bathroom refusing to talk to ART (and admittedly ART doesn't handle this well lol) - ART is forced to confront that despite it making the only call it felt able to make in that horrifying situation, despite it thinking that that was the right call, its actions hurt murderbot, and several other humans were caught in the crossfire. what's most scary to ART in that moment is the idea that murderbot might never forgive it, might never want to talk to it again. it's already so attached to this friendship, so concerned with murderbot's wellbeing, that the thought of that friendship being over because of its own behavior is terrifying. (to me, this almost mirrors murderbot's complete emotional collapse when it thinks that ART has been killed. the other more overt mirror is ART fully intending on bombing the colony to get murderbot back.)
in den's words, they both increase the other's capacity to feel: ART by acting as a part of murderbot's sensory system, and murderbot by acting as a means by which ART can access emotion. they love one another so much they would do pretty much anything to keep each other safe/avenge each other, but what's more, they unequivocally make each other more whole.
#the murderbot diaries#murderbot#asshole research transport#network effect#mine#idk what else to tag lol#BIG thanks to den unloneliest for helping so much with the drafting/editing of this!!!#we both were having some brain fog issues yesterday so we joked that with our combined forces we can make one (1) post lol#just like mb and ART fr!!!!#anyway im so fucking emotional over themmmmm#murderbot meta#the murderbot diaries meta
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we both deserve to be happy
in case anyone is wondering, it gets easier. it gets so so much easier and i hope you find the love you're looking for
#this is like deeply personal and intimate but im posting it for the people who might need to hear this#there isn't really a more profound way i could say it. just that love is everywhere and it will be there for you if you look for it#it's true that things won't ever be the same and that's a good thing. never go back#ive been wanting to make more art about my grief and post it on tumblr for people but like. tbh. ive kind of processed a lot of it now#its kind of hard for me to tap into those old emotions again but hopefully this is still helpful for some people#my art#grief#love#idk#i just wanted to post this to reassure people who are scared to make the next step. i am so happy right now and i hope you will be too
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scrolling thru the CR and dorym tags after yesterdays ep, watching people way smarter than me interpret and discuss stuff >>>>
#cr spoilers#critical role spoilers#dorym#critrole#bells hells#critical role#idk feeling especially warm and fuzzy today man#like ima lurker at heart#its just so comforting seeing other people enjoy a thing#and also enjoying the thing#and screaming at my phone#cause someone has a take on it#and im like#OMG I NEVER THOUGHT OF IT LIKE THAT#and just quietly enjoying#ik this is the most basic fandom emotion ever#but I DONT CARE#they mean so much to me#I love this shit
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i can't stop thinking about that moment when cait pulls the hood down over everything but vi's mouth and then. pauses..
it's a breath. a magnet between them. a recall to a moment months ago when those lips were on hers. and a reminder that every moment with maddie has just been an acting stand in. she couldn't erase the feeling. the pull vi has on her. but she tried to replace it and now. with that mouth in front of her. without the polarized ends of the magnet pushing them away.. there's a crack in her facade.
and behind it. among other things. there lies an apology. not for this moment. but for the times when caitlyn didn't listen. when violet spoke up and she shut her down. it's a chance. a chance to speak. to voice an opinion. to back out if she wants to. not that cait believes she would. but she needed to give vi that allowance. to return it to her.. vi's voice in their tentative partnership.
cait's actions leading up to this point have shown vi she'll still support her. but she waits until vi's eyes are hidden to exhale completely. to reveal for just a second that the truth goes deeper than that. that it's about trust. respect. admiration. things that had been lost. and their ability to be recovered.
#idk if this makes any sense im just#it took so long to find any words at all to express the jumble of thoughts and emotions this moment sent through me#so im going with it#arcane#caitvi#arcane spoilers#caitlyn kiramman#violet arcane#violyn#piltover's finest#arcane s2
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Excuse me but the idea of MC and Xav sitting on their respective balconies and texting each other The Tea while people watching in their neighborhood is both so silly and so endearing to me.
So let's go on a small adventure, shall we?
Warnings: None.
Just fluff. Pure, unadulterated fluff.
The late morning sun was already warming you through the windows of your tiny apartment before you'd even stepped foot outside. It was finally mid-spring in Linkon, which meant you could enjoy your late breakfast on the patio without having to worry about a stray chill or errant frost dampening your weekly Saturday 'brunch' plans.
Opening the patio door with your granola bar in one hand and phone in the other, you settle into the cushioned bench that overlooked your apartment courtyard and took a deep breath. Sometimes it felt like winter was neverending in Linkon, but you could finally feel the tension of the gripping cold that had settled in your bones start to slowly bleed from you.
After getting comfortable, you finally pulled out your phone, and quickly found your brunch 'date's' contact info, sending him the customary "Get up it's people watching hour" text.
[Hey Xav, you up? I'm already on my balcony?]
It doesn't take long for his reply. This has been your weekly tradition for a few months now. Ever since you had both just so happened to see that kid getting dragged down the street by the monstrous hound, it had become something of a... habit for the two of you to text each other the funny happenings on your street when you were home. Not that either of you were particularly prone to gossip, but the simple domesticity of it was oddly comforting after a long week of getting slogged on by wanderers.
[Yeah I'm up. Give me a sec]
The soft ping of your notification broke the peace, followed shortly by the shuffling of his patio door sliding open from above you. Sure, you could simply call out and greet him, as the acoustics out here are great and the soundproofing is atrocious, but the silence is cozy, and the atmosphere almost feels magical. This is your ritual, after all.
It's a bit like a storybook scene, you think, the two of you sharing a moment in time together yet still separated by some outside force. Maybe it was silly, but the fabricated longing almost made it feel romantic in a way that you're sure your neighbor would find ridiculous.
When you hear his footsteps above you come to a halt, you immediately notice something in particular is missing, however.
[You forgot your coffee Xav. Are you gonna be able to stay awake?]
[How could U tell?]
[I didn't smell any burning 🤭🔥]
He doesn't reply, but you can hear the huff he makes over the railing as his footsteps retreat, fading behind the sliding door once again. You don't even try to hold back the laughter his reaction elicits from you, hopeful the concrete carries it to him easily.
When he finally does reemerge, faint smell of bitter charred beans on the wind, his phone is already buzzing with the morning's newest additions to your people watching portfolios.
An older man you'd long ago dubbed "Green Thumb" who liked to frequent the flower garden outside your apartment complex was already taking photos of the new stargazer lily blossoms that had just opened this morning. So enamored by the vibrant petals, he didn't even seem to notice the couple he'd backed into who'd happened to spill their groceries all over the sidewalk. You heard Xavier call "Watch out!" From above you when he'd recognized the impending impact, but at your distance, it was no use.
[That was nice of you Xav. Too bad it didn't help 🫠]
[I can't believe they didn't see Green Thumb. He was so hard to miss. Even when Ur distracted U still see better]
[HEY! I'm not the one who sleep walks! 💀]
[And yet I'm always there to guard Ur back partner]
He's right of course, though you're not going to tell him. Xavier likes to play the part of a soft and harmless little thing, but it doesn't take much to stoke the hunter into burning hotter than you intended. His evol might be light, but you know better than anyone that light, under careful concentration, can start a blazing fire if you're not mindful. His teasing isn't ever harmful though, so instead you decide to simply poke the bear.
[Only because I'm starting to suspect you like it back there]
The distinct sound of a phone accidentally hitting the concrete marks the end of that thread.
Its not long before another of your regulars, pair of young kids Xavier had called the Trouble Twins arrived on scene. Aptly named for the number of times their poor mother has chastised them for chasing the ducks and picking the flowers, the siblings were quite the rambunctious duo. Today they seem to be a few steps ahead of their vigilant mother, rushing into the park with high-pitched hollers and improvised swords made of small branches they'd found. Today's unfortunate conquest seemed to be the pigeons that were being fed by the local grannies.
[They look like a pair of knights today don't they?]
[Knights? Don't knights usually protect people?]
[Maybe they're protecting us from the pigeons]
[Xavier those old ladies look pretty mad idk. That one even tried to chase the boy and almost caught him!]
The pause in messages was punctuated by his soft laughter above you, carried on the spring breeze. It was so warm, so genuine, so comfortable. You didn't need a mirror to feel the heat bloom in your cheeks; the overwhelming sensation of ardor flooding you at the the very sound.
[You're right. He needs more training. A good Knight should never be caught by an old lady]
[.... I don't think that's the message here Xav]
The rest of your morning goes back and forth like this for another hour. Watching your favorite people pass by, concocting new and interesting stories for them as they pass your balconies. Xavier has very interesting and oddly insightful opinions on those around him, considering you don't really recall seeing him with many friends. None the less, his company and companionship on your balconies has easily become your favorite part of the week. The only noises between you are the laughter that passes back and forth as the texts volley from one to another.
Finally, as the afternoon sun starts to become an uncomfortable heat, your phone chimes once more.
[I'm getting kind of hungry]
[Oh good. You're warning me this time. Thanks!]
[What?]
[No. I was going to ask if U wanted to go to lunch. With me, I mean?]
And just like that, the storybook was snapping shut. No longer a fragment lost in time where two people gazed at the same scene together from two separate places, but a tangible moment you could step into. Something intimate and real.
Perhaps you stayed in this thought a moment too long, or your silence below him made him second guess himself, as the chime of your phone snapped you out of your daze again.
[I didn't mean to impose if U have plans]
[I know it's Ur day off too]
Fumbling with the suddenly slippery device, softly cursing, and praying he didn't hear, you quickly hammer out the only thing that's been playing in your head on repeat-
[Yes absolutely! I'd love to grab some lunch I'm starving]
[Meet me downstairs in 30?]
#look i had 3 hours of sleep and i chose to this idk why#written in a single go like a psychopath#and now im going to bed gnight ♡#lnds#love and deepspace#lads#l&ds#love & deepspace#xavier#xavier love and deepspace#xavier lnds#xavvy baby#kay writes#this text was just too cute I had too i was over come with emotions#god why is Xavier so adorable ugh#so soft boy sometimes i love himb#also-#not proofread we die like men#sorry im Le~ tired ill edit tomorrow
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i hate how much of my life revolves around asking myself “am i being overly sensitive/dramatic or are my feelings valid here?”. being so easily hurt and upset sucks. i feel like im too soft for this world
#just thinking about general stuff nothing specific#you’d think at some point i’d get thicker skin after getting hurt over and over but no. i can’t seem to toughen up#autism#idk if it’s related but tagging to see?#actuallyautistic#autistic#autistic things#highly sensitive person#highly sensitive people#autistic adult#autistic community#rejection sensitive dysphoria#rejection sensitivity#actuallyadhd#personal#neurodivergent#hypersensitivity#sensory overload#i cry so easily too it’s embarrassing#someone just gets a lil angry at me and im already crying#which is probably a result of verbal/emotional abuse idk#emotion regulation
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