#idk im fucking tired it's like midnight
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back on my matt stone bullshit
#art#baseketball art#baseketball#doug remer#remer#my phones smashed this was annoying as fuck#idek if it fits his character#remer being deathly afraid of bugs or mice or whatever is actually kinda interesting#like he acts all cocky but like jumps into coops arms like a cartoon if there's a bug#idk im fucking tired it's like midnight
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sometimes wish i could like. kms temporarily like kenny southpark. like i just press a button and explode and then wake up the next day with all my stats replenished to 50% like "well got that out of my system time to face the day"
#admin rambles#might delete later idk its kind of funny but it sounds too serious for my liking#that post that goes 'college is a joke until mid november shit aint funny anymore after that' is very real#i also need to make myself food but im tired and its midnight and im just uhghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#im unhappy with so many things about myself rn and its on me the fucking dork to fix all of them. miss me with that
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I gravitate towards jobs and such in which I make decisions, and prefer to live alone which comes with many decisions, and then do creative hobbies that require me to make so many decisions, and I thought "Huh, decisions are hard, what would a nice day without decisions look like?" And then I realized I just meticulously planned out a whole day of no decisions by just making the decisions beforehand.
#im so tired of decisions#rn im pretty new at my job so not too many decisions but still aome stuff i have to do independently#but my last job was so many decisions. i coordinated so much and if i did it wrong evryone hated me#and before that i was a shift lead#and for the last four years at summer camp ive been an area director#and this year i applied for an office position which is even hugher than area director#and im trying to move out of my parents house which comes with so many decisions#why do i keep doing this to myself#i like leadership and independence too fucking much and then im burnt out on it#and i would love just one day in which i didnt have to make any decisions#unfortunately i know myself and i know that someone else would not make the right decisions#so i want to make the decisions beforehand#and then someone else just executes the decisions for me. if that makes sense#like i want to tell someone 'tomorrow we will wake up at 9am and go get coffee. i want aan iced mocha#after that we'll go to target and get a quick lunch at qdoba. one hour after lunch i would like an iced caramel coffee#i would like to drink this coffee while we go on a walk along the lake#then id like to go home and knit for two hours. you may do something in the same space but it has to be quiet and non-distracting#then we will have such a late dinner. pizza unless you are willing to cook one of the three things i am always okay with#then i will peruse my phone until midnight. then i will sleep#i want to lay that all out for someone snd then they facilitate it#like they just know 'okay its 9am get up we're going for coffee.' 'alright its midnight put down your phone for sleeps'#all damn day they just do the decisions for me. even though i already made them so i know they were made right#idk if that makes sense. im just so tired#i was laying in bed before sleeping and decided to plan my perfect day of no decisions#and realized that it was not decision-free because i had just made every decision#did i mention how tired i am
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this is so me rn honestly. sometimes. people have dinner at 12 am and get angry that they're hungry at 9:45 the next morning. Like hello? A year ago i would be fine waiting from dinner time to breakfast time. but noooo now my stomach wants food as soon as I get out of bed. be fucking patient man who the fuck wants to eat at 9:45 am!?
#i dont care what senshi tells me i fucking. HATE eating food in the morning it makes me SO tired#like i need the energy that would be going to digestion to jump start my morning otherwise i just get too eepy#i know foods is supposed to give you energy but whenever i eat something i get SUPER SUPER tired for like 30-60 minutes afterwards#anyways ill tag this as#disordered eating#just because ive been there i know ED behaviors arent always triggered by ED related stuff sometimes its just talking abt food awkwardly#but like its not ED related i promise i just went from living in a house where you ate at meal times and if you missed brekkie you missed it#to. idk buy your own groceries eat what you like when you like#and im pissed off that doing that makes me physically hungry when i have no appetite#i usually eat brekkie at lunch tho and lunch at dinner and dinner at midnight
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idt you guys understand how invested i am in cecilsweep it's 6am and im sitting awake looking at my phone waiting for the final 35 minutes to go by
#im not awake coz of cecilsweep I've been awake since midnight coz my sleep schedule is utterly fucked and I've#slept like. oh god. jesus christ. I've slept a total of 15 hours. since. since last sunday. that's 8 days and 7 nights#idk why i cant sleep im literally suffering so hard im so tired but it's like my body literally forgot how to sleep#but anyway. I can't go to sleep til we get the cecilsweep results😤✊#welcome to night vale#nightvale#cecilsweep#tumblr sexyman poll#tumblr sexymen poll#barking
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whats tough about like. Having Chemistry and spending time with someone at the start of the spring semester is that valentines day is coming up and its like a make or break point with what you may or may not Be and you have to question what direction things are headed in and its a pressure just Not present in the fall semester idk. idk
#we uhhhh. kinda hit a bump in the road ...... idk.#hes. been very gentle and kind and understanding about where im coming from and so we havent talked in a couple days but just ....#god ok fuck it. we were hanging out saturday night and at some point we were going somewhere where parking sucked so i just suggested we go#in his car rather than separate bc finding parking for ONE car is a Struggle. anyways so afterwards we went back to where i parked my car#and i hahahhaaaaa was NOT leaving. it was just past midnight and so we were just hanging in his car talking for abt an hour#in there at some point i told him about that last crush and how it dragged on and he was like jesus CHRIST sia thats a lot#i was reclined in my seat and shutting my eyes listening to the music and i caught him looking at me a couple times andddddd uh#yeah basically i ended up in his lap and then we were kissing and touching and grinding for like the next hour and a half#and he asked if i wanted to go back to my place and i was like uhhhhhhhhhhhh not now so we stayed in there and just made out & talked more#and then he TOLD me. basically hes in a similar situation i was in this time last year. like a girl he liked and was talking to actually#has a bf. hes sorta in limbo and she still talks to bim and is stringing him along and playing off his hopes theyll get together for.#entertainment ig. everyone at this school is fantastic btw. jesus fucking christ.#so yeah he told me bc he said he didnt wanna hurt me or end up fucking me over and that i deserved full honesty and didnt want to get my#hopes up. which i REALLY appreciate. we talked for 8 days he got carried away once and immediately owned up. i do appreciate that#so like. he said that we can just be friends with or without benefits and i said id think about it. then at like 3 am we went home and he#check in with me to make sure i was alright since he could tell i had a LOT on my mind. i said id call him the next day and so we talked#and basically i explained the reason for my apprehensions and why i said no to hooking up (csa) and he was really understanding#and then like. i just asked him more about what was going through his head the night before & he described it as a heat of the moment thing#(which i agree it was) and like. he was genuinely concerned about me tho. idk#i told him that after i got home i had to shower for an hour scrubbyat every place he touched me and that im tired of feeling used#and he really heard me out and listened. he also asked if he hurt me and i said no but it def could have gotten to that point and i#and so he said 'im sorry for making your life at all hafrder to deal with' and i REALLY really#appreciate him being as honest as he was. so i said its cool we can be friends but i just need some space rn & he once again was really#understanding & said 'for as long as you need. just let me know whenever youre ready to just be friends again & if you need me to stay sway#from [xyz places we hung out] just let me know and if you need anything for class just feel free to reach out'#and. GOD i appreciate him. so that convo closed out on good terms. i was worried id need WEEKS but it rlly was just a few hours after that#i was ok again. traumas all about narratives and before that convo all i could see was another instance i was usee but like.#after actually talking it out all the fear around it dissipated and i can just see it for what it was: 2 friends who got carried away#but i really REALLY appreciate how hes handled this and we're both single & attracted to each other and so the question im thinking now is:#crushposting
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#uuuuummmmmm hypomania? bitch what? like huh? huh?????????#fucking hello???? like that's fucking like clearing whats happening at this moment#like i mean. im still grounded but like high energy. notably elevated mood. deminished need for sleep. im like fucking on right now#and but like i really really should not b. like hello?#but like its weird bc like what does that mean? like it happens every so often like too much energy that feels unhinged#but like it doesnt really affect my life too much it just feels kinda wild and upsetting to me bc its like not in control#but like i mean right now this is notable with respect to what i normally experience. like energy higher and mood higher than normal#like its midnight and im not even a little tired after having a fucking week like what???#not looking forward to when this breaks and i crash. but like whats the pattern her? how long has this been happening?#im gonna have to start tracking my mood bc idk i feel like im noticing it more now. like i dont remember this happening always cyclically#and like in the past it usually lasts like a day or ill have a few days where im like high energy but also fried and kinda up and down#but like im not going like full on way way high for long periods of time. but its hard to tell bc i have so much emotional dissonance#like ill have this like frantic energy while im standing completely still and i wanna grin in an unhinged way but its black static down#thr middle. so its like am i happy? and i depressed? fucking idk. im usually mostly depressed i think as a product of being so anxious all#the time. i don't usually go super low out of nowhere. i mean. i think its more linked to hormore stuff but i also think this is as well#idk its weird just. thoughts. i should start tracking my mood and ya kno also probably talk to a doctor#but like im about to lose my parents health care as i turn 26 and also fucking atrocious executive function#issues. like. it feels like my brain has holes in it. or i heard my lab mate say she was worried she had a brain tumor#bc its just like. something is not functional in the way its supposrd to be. ya kno? but like its fine#i mean. its not fine but like its fine#sigh. god im gonna forget to track this shit. like im already like my braun is disintegrating in my skull#can i pls be exused from being an adult while i have some sort of episode lol. but like idk#itll b fine. ive got a level head and an analytical brain and big control issues so i can keep myself on the rails#dispite the trashfire haha. ugh wtf do i do tonight tho. lay here abd try to sleep i guess#hope the mood stays up tomorrow so i dont like collapse into a puddle#ay ay ay. interesting. very interesting#im like a commit pinging around. a pinball bounding of those little pin thingys. ill meet with my boss Tuesday like yooooooo#idk if u havent clearly noticed but ive been a bit ya kno emotionally#unstable ✌️ or maybe ill b back to my normal sad sack self by then lol. idk weird vibes. real weird vibes but good 4 now#unrelated
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finally did the math and i have/will be working 65 hours in one week lol, average of 9hrs per day, which is more time than i spend sleeping
not counting the time i spend travelling, which would make it ~73, which means an average of 10hrs every day
could pick up a shift tomorrow and make it 71 (80 with travel)
#this is so awesome i feel like im dying#i keep sleeping like. maybe 4-6hrs a night and now when i take my testosterone in the morning it feels like rebellious self care#bc i literally do not have time to between waking up and leaving without making myself late bc i sleep in way too late every day#so i keep being late bc im so fucking tired and then my manager gets mad at me for being late when i worked until midnight and its 8am now#i literally feel like my body is breaking down. my calf muscles have this stabbing pain behind my knee and my joints are so painful#i cant breathe properly bc im so tense and anxious and tired and ive had to rewear underwear 3x bc i havent had time/energy for laundry#i finally showered on friday after 2-3 weeks it was awesome and i keep crying on the bus and in the office#i feel like im going to collapse im in so much pain and i keep gettin really close to killing myself but i dont have time to be hospitalised#anyway. srry abt venting so much here#also i literally dont know if my bf is ok bc theres flooding in his area and i think hes asleep so he hasnt text back for hours#delete later#none of it would be so bad if going home was at least restful but theres literally no respite from it bc my room is a wreck#im so anhedonic that literally nothing feels good anymore so i cant even cheer myself up unless im drunk bc i dont have a weed dealer rn#might try to get some co-codamol for the pain tomorrow after my blood test but idk we'll see
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AUGH I forgot to add screenshots to that Followed post like I said I would,,,,,
#🤖.txt#I'll do it after I get out of bed. If i dont get hit with the Shame#ALSO i found an After Midnight w/ lyrics...... i was too tired to process it but YIPPIEEEE LORE ACCURACYYYY#I think its so funny how most people where So confused when After Midnight dropped#Like. There were also people were like Wowww this is so good but i saw so many people being like. Who the fuck is this guy??? wheres Bf????#And idk i think thats so funny jdhdhdhdg#But yeah. Im really happy that theres other ourple lore fans out there and im not just insane JDJDHHD
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i feel like im manipulating people into liking me. being an incessant asshole "grinding out" socialization with people to "max our stats" like it's a fucking video game. and like i know im human, im a social animal. socialization is Normal and im just Making Friends. but my brain fucking hates me i guess, because when i do it its actually because i have evil motives and im selfish and dont deserve to talk to people. i have nothing to offer, everyone around me is so much better than i could ever be and im just a waste of time. a waste of energy. it feels like i could be dropped at a moments notice when people realize i dont add anything of value so i get scared at any perceived threat. even tho theres no threats, nobodys gonna drop me, im fine, and people genuinely care about me. but also it is so hard to fully believe that, and i dont even know why.
#its midnight so these thoughts are definitely worsened by me being tired but like#idk this is part of whats been fucking with me for a couple months now and it Sucks i hate it and im trying to remind myself#that its not true but its just. i just. uehhhhhh i dont know how to describe whats going on in my head without accidentally#making myself look like a fucking asshole. its rough in here though ill say that much#things will get better. eventually somethingll click and this will just be a bad memory but man. Man
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and now after having disturbed sleep last night I'm having an episode of insomnia tonight. I can't fucking do this man my skull is going to cave in if I have any more thoughts ever
#its been a really really shitty few weeks and months and years and it builds up i have so much stress i can feel it in every joint#and i know it makes me so difficult to be around im tired of being so difficult i wish i wasnt but none of my efforts to change help#and im just turning more and more inwards i cant take up any space i cant allow myself to just exist and im so tired#maybe i should get dressed and go out for a midnight walk. its raining so that might soothe me a bit idk i just. i cant sit here like this#unable to sleep and unable to stop my mind going and going and going. i wish i could just put my face into someones shoulder and cry#i dont even know when the last time someone saw me cry was. i dont think theres anyone i would trust to cry in front of in my life rn#fucking hell. okay im going to pee and then maybe try to meditate for a bit and if that doesnt work ill go out. deep breaths#.vent#ur daily dose of being mentally ill on the dash <3 someones gotta fucking do it i guess!
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ik it’s after 9pm and therefore officially ‘don’t trust negative feelings ab ur life’ time but man. this shit kinda sucks ass actually.
like when you have a neurological developmental disorder that affects your brain and the way your whole mind works And Also an autoimmune disorder that effects your endocrine system and the way your whole body works. basically your whole shit is just fucked. and it fucking blows
#yeah ik lots of people have it worse#but im not gonna feen guilty for suffering. i have fucking problems and they’re fucking disruptive#i wanted to be asleep two and a half hours ago#but it’s not like it even matters#last night was truly a miracle. i was asleep by midnight and slept until almost 10#and i actually slept well too#and i was still fucking tired all day today#idk#just having another ‘this shit is fucking chronic and it’ll never be all better’ kinda day ig#like. idk. knowing that the most you can do is just manage and mitigate#it takes a toll after a while#i don’t want to manage this forever. i just want to be ok#but i’m not. i never will be. and i just have to live with that forever
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#not to be. like this. again. but im gonna#put up with me or leave i guess idk sorry#anyway like my coworker asking me what my plans are tonight#(his are he's going dancing - tonight is lindy hop im told)#anyway i can hardly tell the truth#which is im gonna read - i still don't really know the difference between m and e rated fic - but those anyway#good omens prolly cs idk i can whatever#anyway that probably until i get pissed off at my own corporation being fucking useless and/or actively awful#and then ill distract myself with italian supernatural crime drama#or! alternatively! i will get home and suddenly be very tired and wake up at midnight!
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aaaaaa
#suicide tw#down here dont look dhfjdldl don't open the more tags or whatever it is#i just need to yell it somewhere sorry dhfjdl i will not be doing anything do not worry#i just need to put it into the void somewhere and unfortunately this is maybe the best place i have for it#i think this needs one more tag so that it won't show up fhfkdl idk i cant remember#anyways. wouldn't it be hilarious (lie) if i offed myself tonight before midnight lmfao#I cannot fucking keep doing this and ppl are so kind to me but im just rly unwell and there is no way out#i hate how easy it is to kill myself fhjfdl like the only thing standing btwn me and being dead is... me#like i could just fucking do it rn if i so pleased and then I'd be done and god that sounds like such a relief rn#i wish humans were harder to kill bc this is so frustrating to have such a thin sheet btwn me and suicide#i cant keep doing this fjfkfl im going to drown soon and i cannot get help for anything#i cant keep up w school and i cant fail it bc then i will be in trouble but god if it wasn't for the trouble I'd get in i would just let it#all slide at this point bc i am just in so much emotional mental etc pain#everything hurts fucking constantly and i cant get rid of it and im just carrying this constantly#im so incredibly tired of it all#i have no life to live even outside of the abuser's home. theres no space for me anywhere#im tired sorry I'll live bc i don't want to hurt ppl so don't worry abt me doing anything abt this#but im just. idk what to do anymore
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Pretty - Shota Aizawa
word count - 3K synopsis - shota aizawa would do anything for you, even if it meant going past his comfort zone. warnings - she/her reader, drunk! reader, aizawa is the king of consent lets be real, coercion, reader is a horny mess but so is aizawa, aizawa is S-O-F-T for reader lemme tell you, some kissing, grinding, heavy petting (maybe?), dub-con if you squint, idk this was entirely self indulgent im not gonna lie to you minors do not interact
It's not like this was the first time he'd seen you utterly shit-faced. No, not in the slightest. He's known you for years, since high school when he was just a floppy haired emo boy and you were a goddess that decided three dorks were her best friends. He's seen you drunk countless times over the years, thanks to Mic and his ability to make you forget you are a grown up. A Pro-Hero at that. But you were too persuaded by your friends' efforts to have a good time. Shot after shot after shot- Aizawa lost count after the fifth double shot that you pounded back, giggling with Mic as Aizawa watched you wipe the liquor that was trailing down your chin. He should have known right then he was in for a hell of a night.
"Okay, just..shit.. okay.." He's struggling, he really is, between your limp body held to his chest by his strong arm that's wrapped around your waist and the effort it took to get you here, in his apartment, he's more than happy to tuck you to sleep in his bed and call it a night on the couch. Expect you're not only drunk, you're high. High off some dank smelling stuff Midnight pulled out of her purse while you were all waiting for the cab. Aizawa loves his friends but sometimes he loathes them so completely it drives him mad. Face pinched tight, the tips of his ears blushed a deep crimson. That's how he looked standing beside you outside the bar as you swayed and laughed as you hit the thick blunt Mic passed you.
He drops you as carefully as he can onto his large couch, winded and tired as he tosses his keys on the coffee table and loosens his tie. You lay there giggling to yourself as you stare up at him, your eyes redder than his at this point. His hair is tucked back in a loose attempt at a half up bun, the strands that normally lay over his eyes tucked neatly behind his ears, and his face is clean shaven and flushed from lugging your nearly limp body up the stairs.
"You're so pretty." You coo and fuck if it doesn't make his stomach flip- but you're drunk. Completely wasted in fact and he knew it when you had told Mic before the two of you had left that you thought he was an amazing singer. Aizawa knows for a fact that's a lie.
"Yeah, yeah. You're so fucking gone. How does your body even handle that much alcohol?" His voice is gruff but there's a fondness in it. Because of course there is. He loves you. Has loved you since said emo days. It's never stopped, never ceased in the slightest. Why else would he deal with your excessively drunk ass?
You stretch, either completely ignoring or just not hearing his words, stretch nice and big with your arms thrown over you head and your back arched sharply. A hollow moan rumbles out of your mouth and through his apartment and his eyes flicker to the velvet skirt of your dress that has fallen so dangerously close to exposing you. Aizawa looks at the ceiling, jaw clenching, fist balled up in the pockets of his black slacks.
"So pretty.." Your voice is far off, a gentle murmur to yourself as you keep staring at him like he put the stars in the night sky.
"Don't be ridiculous." He says about your comment because.. yeah, you're definitely beyond drunk right now. "You need to sleep this off, gonna feel like shit tomorrow."
It's like you dont even fucking hear him.
"Mm, but I mean it. Think about you so much." You smooth your bare foot down his slack covered thigh, your mouth parted and pretty as you say, "So pretty and kind and strong, drive me crazy, Sho."
Aizawa can't fucking breathe. Heart pounding in his chest as he looks down at the sight of you, looking so fucked out but he hasn't even touched you. No, this was all your own doing.
No. This was the alcohol. The weed. You didn't mean it, you were just fucked up.
"Angel." His voice is a warning and fuck if he can't see the way it makes your whole body shiver. Oh, this isn't good. "You are way too drunk and I am way too sober to have this conversation right now."
"I'm not that drunk!" Expect it's all slurred words and mashed teeth and if you weren't looking at him like you might consume his soul he might have laughed at that. "Don't you want me, Shota?"
God, his face is burning, dick twitching in his slacks and it washes deep shame through his body. He feels like he's fucking short circuiting, his resolve wobbling like your bottom lip as you look up at him with your most appealing doe eyes.
"How about, uh, I.. I make you something to eat and then you can sleep this off?" His voice is held together by a wavering thread, words filling his dry mouth as fast as he can form them. He can't do this right now. He needs you to carry your ass to sleep so he can go take care of the massive problem you've brought to life in his pants.
You sit up, teetering only slightly as you lean you head against the back of the couch and groan, rubbing your thighs together and fuck, Aizawa is doing everything he can to not think about that. You're so….needy.
"I don't wanna eat, I want you." You peer up at him, and he knows what you're about to do before you even do it. What's worse? He knows he's gonna fucking fall for it. Like he always does. "I guess you don't want me though.."
Your voice is pathetic, breathy and wounded, and your face is so downtrodden, that frown so deep it sends a pain through Aizawa's heart like a dagger.
He sits on the couch quickly, locking his gaze on your watery eyes. Fuck, you were actually crying about this. Aizawa wants to die when his dick twitches at the sight of a lone tear tracking down the pretty apple of your cheek. You do things to him, things that no one else is able to do and the worst part is you don't even have to try.
"I didn't say I didn't want you." He says cautiously, thumb wiping the tears away as you turn to him with that fucking pout that never fails to work on him.
You lean into the warmth of his hand, your own fingers coming to wrap tight around his wrist to keep him there.
"But.. you keep saying no." You pout and he wants to kiss it off your face.
"No. I'm saying you're drunk and I'm not gonna take advantage of my best friend because she's drunk. That's not me." His voice is stern. Resolute. But then your mouth parts and the tip of your pretty pink tongue swipes over the tip of his thumb and he almost loses his shit right then and there.
"You're not taking advantage of me if I want it." You say so coyly and Aizawa snatches his hand back, points an accusing finger at your wicked smiling face.
"You can't want it if you're drunk, Angel. Stop fighting me on it. The answer is no." He's steady and authoritative on the outside but on the inside his heart is pounding, cock aching within its confines. All Aizawa can really think is "What the fuck is going on?" He'd never seen you act like this before.
"Okay." You sigh sadly, voice small. You seem to curl in on yourself as you sit next to him but then your head pops up and the hair on the back of his neck stands on end when you press him with the most innocent look. If he didn't know you, he might have fallen for it, but he does know you. Knows that you're a manipulative little shit when you wanted to be, especially when it's to get him to do something he doesn't wanna do.
"What about.." You start and he's about to cut you off before you can even say whatever ridiculous shit you've managed to think of in the messy state you're in, but he's not quick enough. "Just one little kiss, please Shota?"
"No, absolutely not." But his stomach does this stupid little flip just at the thought and he can't not look down at your lips. You catch him, eyes glinting as you scoot a little closer. You may be a Pro-Hero but you are a fucking evil women. Sinful in a way that Aizawa isn't sure he can stay away from, no matter his moral compass.
"Just one itty bitty kiss and I'll go to bed like a good girl, I promise, Sho." You look so good saying it, and sound even better. But Shota Aizawa is not a fool and Shota Aizawa has known you far too long to let something so hormonal ruin one of his most treasured friendships, even if he did want you so badly it was tearing him up inside.
You shuffle closer, right hand coming down softly on his thigh and his whole body freezes. His eyes slant as he looks over to you.
"I said-"
"You won't be doing anything wrong, Shota. I know you'd never take advantage of me." You lean in, ghost you breath across his neck and Aizawa seriously can't fucking breathe. "You're the best friend a girl could ask for, Sho, I know you'd never hurt me "
Your voice is honey dipped venom and Aizawa's chest seizes when your thumb starts stroking a soft line up and down his thigh.
No, no, no, no, no. Fuccckk.
Your lips look so soft, bitten and shiny with your spit and so close. He imagines you taste like whiskey and cherries and the spearmint chapstick you made him put in his pocket so you didn't lose it.
"I…I.."
"I promise I'll be so good, just for you."
"Only one." He says and….wait what the fuck did he say? His brain has betrayed him, or maybe it was his dick, doesn't matter when there isn't anytime to process what the fuck he's just agreed to.
You're pressing your lips to his as his mind flounders, your nails digging into the meat of his thigh as you taste him for the first time after all these years.
You moan so loud and lewdly, it ricochets around his living room, and his head, and his heart. The sound sends a shiver down both of your spines. You taste just like he thought you would, plush lips pushed against his own. The kiss wasn't anything special but because it was you it was the hottest kiss Aizawa has ever had.
Only one. Only one. Only one.
No, he can't, he has to stop this. You taste too sweet, the little moans and whines escaping your throat are doing too much for him. He wants to hear more. Needs to hear more; but not like this. Not when you're drunk. He'd be a horrible friend, a horrible person, if he let this continue. So he pulls away, leaning back, eyes fluttering open, mouth beginning to speak.
He can't get a single fucking thing out when your pushing back towards him, your hands grabbing his face to hold him still. It's him that moans this time, a shocked gaspy moan that you swallow without a second thought. You toss your leg over his lap, grind yourself down against the hard line of his cock beneath his pants.
This kiss was miles away from the other. Teeth biting against his bottom lip, your tongue licking into his mouth, your hands ruining the bun he had his hair in as you yank the black tie out. And your hips, they won't stop grinding against him, it's so hot but so wrong and that stomach bubbling shame makes its appearance again. He braces his hands on your hips trying, in vain, to stall you but you only work faster. Rutting and whining and whispering his name.
Oh fuck, oh fuck.
He separates your mouths, bites at his lip when you settle for licking a fat stripe up his neck, sucking just below his ear.
"We can't, we gotta stop." He doesn't know how he manages to get the words out and somehow he's unsure if they even came from him. He's never sounded like this before. What the hell are you doing to him?
You pin his hands against the back of the couch, something that felt so strange considering he could have you wrapped up in his scarf in barely a second. Except, he doesn't have the scarf at this moment and you've driven his willpower straight into the mud.
"I'm so sorry, Shota." You whisper into his ear, licking at his ear lobe. "I'm sorry, I just need you so bad."
In that second, with your mouth and hips dizzying his brain, he finally realizes something.
He wasn't taking advantage of you, you were taking advantage of him.
The realization hits him so hard he gasps; or maybe that was because you picked that moment to swivel your hips just so that he could feel the way your lips parted under your lace panties and slotted over him. Even through the layers he could feel that wet hot heat.
"Gotta stop." Was he even trying? "Angel, we have to stop. We g-gotta go to sleep before this gets out of hand." He tries once again to push you away but you only shake your head and clinge tighter, fingers lost in his hair as you chase the release that's been slowly building in your stomach.
"No." You grit out between this little gasp that has his hands clenching in the skirt of your dress. He doesn't move them, they just sit there gripping the fabric as he thinks about how much of a pathetic weak man he is for letting you trick him like this. "Don't wanna sleep, want you to fill me up. Wanna feel you deep inside me, Shota." You punctate his name with a high pitched whine and that's it, that's all it takes.
That wavering thread, his moral compass? Gone just from the way you say his name.
He lunges at you, wraps his hand around the column of your throat and for the first time since you jumped him your hips finally still.
"You are such a fucking brat." Aizawa growls, squeezing your throat just tight enough to make your head fuzzy. You wanted to play dirty? Fine. He could be dirty too.
He reaches his hand behind you to blindly drag the zipper on the back of your dress down, snatching the front off your shoulders and down your arms. He pulls it down until your bare chest is exposed to him, nipples pebbled in the cool air of his apartment, let's the dress settle around you waist before he's balling his fist in the material and using it to drag your hips against his.
"Fuckk." He groans, letting his head fall back against the couch. You whimper as you watch him use you now, all that confidence and control gone as you tremble with every grind and rut. He's pushing his hips up into you now, no longer holding back, and the feeling is mind-blowing.
"Shota.." You begin to whisper but he's quickly silencing you with his lips, hungry and searching, as they attack your own.
"Fucking evil women." He smacks the supple skin of your ass, hard. So hard it has you falling into his chest, burying your nose into his neck. Aizawa grabs the back of your neck with his big hand, presses hard enough that you know that's your place now. You were no longer running the show.
"Drunk off your fucking ass," he bites out before actually biting into the skin of you shoulder. You whine pathetically, suddenly embarrassed of the sound of your wet soppy cunt humping against his nice trousers. "Can't take no for a fucking answer. Thought you were gonna be a good girl, Angel? What happened to that?"
You can't speak, your body quivering as you orgasm approaches, a hot white heat that tingles from your head to your toes. You manage to grit out a weak "I'm sorry, Sho.", but it's just about as pathetic as you feel right now.
"So fuckin' impatient. Why couldn't you have waited till tomorrow?" He grits out, his head spinning. He wouldn't fuck you tonight, that's too far. He knows despite this little performance you've put on that you are in fact still inebriated and he'd never forgive himself if he did something that sober you wouldn't have wanted. But this? If you want to get off so badly, he'll make it happen.
Because you should know by now- Shota Aizawa would do anything for you.
"Please." You whimper out even though you're not really sure what you're asking for. But that doesn't matter, because Aizawa knows.
He slips his hand down between the two of you, thumb finding your clit pressed roughly against the wet lace of your panties. He rubs tight, teasing circles over your sensitive nub, kissing and sucking at the soft skin of your chest as he peers up at your pleasure stricken face. You look so beautiful like this, it's addicting, something he's dreamed about for years. To finally experience it though? It was unlike anything he'd imagined, especially when your eyes clamp shut, nails digging into his shoulder as you cum- hard.
"Fuck, Shota!" You gasp around a steady chant of yes yes yes's. "I love you, oh my god, I love you so much, Sho."
You collapse into his chest, body trembling and jerking every now and then from the small aftershocks that rush through you. He rubs your back as you catch your breath, his lips pressing the sweetest most adoring kisses to your forehead.
"I mean it." You say, breathing heavily through your nose and Shota hums in response as he looks down at where you're cradled to his chest.
"Mean what?" He asks and his breath is ragged, rough sounding. You huff a bit as you adjust your weight in his lap.
"I'm not that drunk…and that you're pretty…and that..I love you." Your voice is so shy now, so unsure, such a stark comparison from the girl that jumped him only fifteen minutes ago.
Aizawa feels the heat that rushes to his cheeks, the heavy thud of his heart. He loves you more than you can ever know and hearing you finally say it back, especially while you were grinding against him, was enough to make him cum in his pants.
Which he did. Like a fucking high school kid. It was honestly kinda ridiculous the way you molded him however you wanted to, how he let you do it. He couldn't imagine letting anyone see him the way he allows you to. Only you.
Always you.
"Can we go to sleep now, Angel?" He asks into your temple and you answer with a yawn and a nod, sleepy eyes fluttering shut.
#shota aizawa#shouta aizawa#aizawa x reader#mha aizawa#eraserhead#bnha aizawa#shota aizawa smut#shota aizawa x reader#mine
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FUUUUUUUUUUUCKing hell theyre gonna kiss today????
hes so grumpy already I love this so much
the silent conversations chain and toey are having with their eyes oml I cant
pls this is so funny
theyre both deeply in love with someone else so it's jsut so unnatural to them
BUT ALSO id like to mention that the first thing chain did when he had to pretend to be hitting on toey was put his arm around his shoulders and rest his hand there. which is what he's literally ALWAYS doing with pun, no matter when it is, he's always standing next to pun with his hand resting on one of his shoulders
its like he associates his time with pun as being in a romantic relationship 👀
THESE FUCKIN BASTARDS 😭
JUST KISS IM BEGGING YOU
theyre lost in their own little world 🥺
kiIIIIIS
this is too funny, the cuts from "chain. chain what happened next." to ✨soulful dramatic guitar music✨
im sad they didnt actually kiss but also im not surprised
LOOK AT THEM, DUDE
THEYRE SO NATURAL WITH EACH OTHER
I FUCKIN LOVE FRIENDS TO LOVERS SO SO MUCH
half convinced theyre already dating, they just cant be bothered saying anything so theyre waiting for others to ask them about it
PUN IS SO CUTE DUDE I ADORE HIM HES FUCKING ADORABLE
I LOVE THEM SO FUCKING MUCH THEYRE SOIMPORTANT TO ME
if I ever have a romantic partner, this is what I want
I cant explain it, I just wanna run up to them with pure joy and excitement, and for them to hold me back by just pushing against my skull
it just seems perfect, idk why
GB4JHERGB
THE FRIENDSHIP OF ALL TIME
genuinely think I might be more invested in their friendship than all the romantic relationships in this show
im fucking CRYING
my king matt, this was so unnecessary and I love everything about it
why does it suit him so well tho
they should kiss again I think
I feel everything about this image on a spiritual level
THIS ENTIRE AMUSEMENT PARK SEQUENCE BRINGS ME SO MUCH JOY AND DOPAMINE IM IN LOVE WITH THSI EPUSODE
NEW COMFORT EPISODE UNLOCKED
look its really funny but I do feel bad cos this day is not even a little bit fun for him
like q is having a complete shit time
poor chain doesn't love amusement parks but he has to go on the rides with toey to keep up the facade cos toey loves these rides 😭
and its even worse realising Q also seems to love amusement parks, so he would be having a fucking amazing time if he could just go on all the rides next to Q cos they both love it so much 😭😭
fuckin FINALLY
LMAO WHAT
THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY I JUST SCREECHED WITH LAUGHTER SO LOUD AND ITS MIDNIGHT
THE PURE COMICAL SHOCK AS HE REALISDE WHAT HE SAID, THE EXCITEMENT FROM EVERYONE ELSE AS THEYR EALISE WHAT HE SAID
I mean to be fair it was REALLY obvious
im surprised no one noticed earlier but also its a bl so im not at all surprised to find out theyre all fuckin dumbasses
SERIOUSLY THO TANFANG IS WHAT I WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP HOLY SHIT
a lot of the time watching bls ill be like "I want that" but its usually as a joke
but THIS?? the fucking adhd bastard (me) who just wants to be near their partner and compliment and always stimming and just having a swell fucking time while the other one loves them but is mildly tired but also in adoration? FUCKIN GIMME
also how the fuck has Q not realised, theyre all so fucking obvious
also also I cant explain it it just feels deeply as though pun and chain are for real dating they just havent told anyone yet
ill make a post about it all at some point maybe (I definitely wont)
PHYSICAL TOUCH IS HIS LOVE LANGUAGE 😭😭😭
I LOVE THEM SO MUCH HE DOESNT HAVE TO HOLD HIM SECRETLY ANYMORE THEY CAN JUST WALK HAND IN ARM NATURALLY NOW
hear me out tho, this gets even funnier if he's actually already in a committed relationship that no one knows about yet
I dont think it's secret dating, it's just 'not super obvious dating to try and see JUST how oblivious all our friends are. its been three years at this point and still no one's said anything. we're starting to lose all hope.'
I love tan so much, the little wave
what the FUCK
what the FUCK FUCK???
THE SOUNDWIN LINE????
HERE IT IS ITS FUCKIN COMIN GUYS
HE SAID IT
HE FUCKIN SAID IT
[insert that gif of the crowd of people in the bar going insane]
holy fucking shit dude holy fucking shit
my legs are literally shaking idk if I can do this
FUCK TO THE YES, FUCKING EXPLICIT ASK FOR CONSENT HOLY FUCKING SHIT
WHAT THE FUCK
AND THE FUCKING SONG IN THE BACKGROUND !!!!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT DUDE
im gonna be here all day
I dont even need to watch the rest of the episode now
I can just go to bed if I want and watch the rest later or smth
dude I cant wait for q to realise that toey is milk frappe guy
HOLY FUCKING SHIT IT JUST PROCESSED IN MY MIND THAT THEY KISSED
WHAT THE FUCK
omg making out in a haunted house, what a dream
the workers watching on the security cameras probably had a blast that day
how funny would it be if there'd been a scare actor in the shadows in that room with them and they'd been about to scare them but they were too shocked with that tender kiss to remember they have a job
he needs to lie on his bed and just stare at his roof and think about that for a while
tbh same
look at him 🥺 he's so lost in that memory
thEY FUCKIN MADE OUT HOLY FUCK
welp on that note I think im done for now
I might finish the ep with my silly thoughts+screenshots later but for now tis the time for sleep
#quodekash's side couple syndrome boss fight#we are series#cant wait for that song to come out on Spotify and I can listen to it on repeat for several days#qtoey#winnysatang#satang kittiphop#winny thanawin#tanfang#aouboom#marcpoon#chainpun#aou thanaboon#boom tharatorn#marc natarit#poon mitpakdee#we are the series
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