#fucking hell. okay im going to pee and then maybe try to meditate for a bit and if that doesnt work ill go out. deep breaths
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and now after having disturbed sleep last night I'm having an episode of insomnia tonight. I can't fucking do this man my skull is going to cave in if I have any more thoughts ever
#its been a really really shitty few weeks and months and years and it builds up i have so much stress i can feel it in every joint#and i know it makes me so difficult to be around im tired of being so difficult i wish i wasnt but none of my efforts to change help#and im just turning more and more inwards i cant take up any space i cant allow myself to just exist and im so tired#maybe i should get dressed and go out for a midnight walk. its raining so that might soothe me a bit idk i just. i cant sit here like this#unable to sleep and unable to stop my mind going and going and going. i wish i could just put my face into someones shoulder and cry#i dont even know when the last time someone saw me cry was. i dont think theres anyone i would trust to cry in front of in my life rn#fucking hell. okay im going to pee and then maybe try to meditate for a bit and if that doesnt work ill go out. deep breaths#.vent#ur daily dose of being mentally ill on the dash <3 someones gotta fucking do it i guess!
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