#idk im feeling positive right now | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

apocalypse-alpaca · 1 year

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do y'all ever think that like. We are pioneers. We're the first generation to really have queer media here, for us to see and connect with. idk just a thought

#i both envy the next generation and don't #because theyre going to get to fully grow up with these masterpieces #but with us we all got to be there to laugh and cry about these groundbreaking moments happening #for the first time in media #like #thats pretty special #idk im feeling positive right now #i love my little gay shows #good omens #wwdits #ofmd #sherlock #gay #queer #mlm #lgbtqia #loki

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chiimeramanticore · 2 days

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#im not dead quit asking #I'm just really really really not doing well #sorry if i scared anyone. that wasnt my intent #things got. let's say worse. for me irl. more complicated for sure #i hate to publicize my breakdown I really do. but maybe i... need this? in a weird way?#i haven't really been adjusting well to having a platform online. that's not anyone's fault but mine ofc #i feel that my 'fans' (if ive earned the right to call them that) dont and frankly cant ever care for me as a person #i dont know you and you dont know me. you dont know all of me at least. just what i make public. what i allow others to see #i had it kinda bullied into me that i need to keep my mouth shut abt my own issues. and ive spent a lot of this year trying to unlearn that #maybe publicizing this is a bad idea anyway #I just know ive been more honest abt my emotions and my personal life with my friends and my partner #and not everyone enjoys it but i know I'm not like. traumadumping so i feel somewhat assured that anyone who doesnt wanna hear abt my life-#-probably wasnt all that interested in forming a close relationship w me to begin with. even if theyre friendly at first #everyone else; the people who I know care about me; have shown me that through their actions #my point is being honest abt how youre doing w other ppl is a good idea. revolutionary i know lol #and i still don't know a lot of you personally but #parasocial or not i got some very genuine sounding messages while I was gone. and i. feel really bad that i worried those people #I guess theres my proof that people would care if i disappeared suddenly. people would notice pretty quick it seems #im never gonna kms btw. even if i didnt have the support i have im simply too stubborn to die lol. to put it lightly #and to those who thought this was abt fandom drama: it's not. those who shall not be named are genuinely the least of my problems these days #I'm on a journey of self actualization. or something. im trying to get my shit together. im trying to stop being clinically depressed lol #but god keeps throwing wrenches in my plans and. i beat myself up about it too much #but that's just life. they say you make a plan and god laughs #im. trying to be okay with just riding the wave. im impatient but if i keep trying to somehow speed up time im just gonna exhaust myself #which I think is where im at now. burnt out #and on top of all that i still feel this need to like. perform for you guys #if i dont keep making content everyone will forget i exist. if i dont make another video essay this year can i even call myself a youtuber #etc etc. its the spiral its impostor syndrome we've all been there #im trying to end this on a positive note but idk. i dont have all the answers yet #hoping i figure it out soon. i hope you dont forget me in the meantime

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taiyami · 4 months

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I just wanted to reach out to folks and say thanks for not scrutinizing me for interacting with a little more selfship content than usual lately. I know it's not everyone's cup of tea, and I just hope I'm not being overbearing with that kind of content ?

#I'm going through a rough patch in my life and so it's bringing me a lot of comfort to be in that community space right now ^_^#tai talks #i know people probably dont mind but im just ?? idk i get worried people will get tired of me when i go through a content dry spell #and i have a lot of friends who kind of have a distaste for the s/ship community or are just very impartial to it #ive always been a s/ship safe space and i dont think that will ever change but im also trying to unlearn shame and have a little fun with it #its just been heavy on my mind.#especially whenever i want to rb a fun s/ship question with my own answers but choose not to because ... idk?#im afraid people will become annoyed or frustrated with my presence instead of positive things #i dont think that feeling will ever go away but idk. i love my friends who are s/ship blogs and i love seeing peoples content for that!#it brings me a lot of joy recently #anyways if you read all that .... thank you ^_^ <33

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acebytaemin · 2 months

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hi loveliest ana, i'm not online much anymore but i miss sending you asks all the time! i've always had so much fun talking to you about shinee and skz that now whenever anything new in either of those worlds comes up i still think of you immediately :') i don't want to say too much but i wanted to tell you that before i found your blog i was in a very dark place. but after i found you and for the years that i have been mutuals with you i've improved so much, i've found solace and happiness in things that i used to love again (kpop especially!), i've even been inspired to finally get myself into a university and put effort into changing myself and my life for the better + understanding that it's not too late for me..! and although you don't know me past being an anon that sometimes sends silly little asks about grumpy cat boys (who are looking even more cat than usual somehow recently idk there must be something in the wATEr over there...) i do really owe so much of it to you. i want to thank you for being such a bright presence in my life and giving me strength, you are always so kind and encouraging to me even if it's not on purpose. it's refreshing and healing just to know you exist and i hope that in return the world is always as kind back to you. i wish nothing but happiness and comfort for you ♡ love you always!

oh my god i honestly don’t even know how to begin to reply to this im genuinely on the verge of tears? just making someone smile at my silly tags/posts on here is already fulfilling to me, and you’ve just absolutely floored me. i can’t begin to comprehend this, for me to have this kind of impact on someone is truly all i could ever want or ask for. now ik you’re on anon but regardless i feel your genuineness and i’m SO proud of you like beyond words. of course it’s never too late and i hope you keep doing well and enjoying life, thank you a MILLION times i honestly don’t know what to say i’m actually crying right now and i love you

#idk how you felt that ive been feeling a bit bad about the way i come off on here like bc ive been so busy and mostly only in my user tag #and haven’t had the time to really catch up w my friends on here and idk it’s all just felt like i might come across rude or ignorant #and you’ve swept in at the exact best moment idk what to tell you except I’ll cherish this forever and ever #i can’t begin to explain how incredible it is to hear this you’ve genuinely got me in shambles (positive)#i feel like whatever i say will only ever be a shadow of what im feeling rn so I’ll wrap it up but so seriously thank you SO much #this must’ve taken a while to write up and it means the whole world to me especially right now #thank you thank you thank you 💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖💖#keep

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scionshtola · 4 months

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okay...they look better with something other than their resting expression

#the left is cori's current resting expression. the right is one of the happy voice option expressions #the updated graphics dont have the upturned corners in resting position anymore and she's just :|#this looks more like them to me. sorry cori u really do have to smile more #still giving me recast with a vague lookalike in s6 completely feeling #a vague this is wrong but idk why #i need a text post tag #i said i wasnt gonna look at them again but i lied. but probably now im done #idk how to put describe i just need their bottom lip to be like. less wide?? but not exactly???#but no one cares about that but me lmao

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vanillabat99 · 6 months

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I still have the wheelchair my aunt gave me, so I'm not too upset about today, but also I'm just so confused about why my OT doesn't think I need a chair???

My standing tolerance is currently like, 2mins MAX. I understand that I'm working on increasing it so I can actually do things around the house, but how am I supposed to leave my house when there's shitty sidewalks and snow and my walker can't even handle rough pavement. Even now that we have a plan in place to work on my tolerance, I'm not supposed to be standing for more than 1min at a time, so again, how am I supposed to go anywhere or do anything.

My therapist and even the pain specialist I saw both seemed to be on board with me getting a wheelchair, and my Beautiful Wife is of the opinion that I should've had one years ago. My OT seemed really great at our initial appointment and aside from this one thing she was pretty good today, so hopefully this just takes time ._.

#like shes super great about everything else so now im wondering if shes right. you know?#like maybe i dont need a wheelchair.#but also. it was so wonderful for that 1 afternoon i used it.#idk. im just feeling really depressed about it. im so tired.#i missed my choir concert last week and this weeks rehearsal due to pain and fatigue ._.#and i still havent cleaned my room to setup for my wife to visit 😭#trying to stay positive. it is hard.#batty blogging #text

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acedavestrider · 30 days

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does anyone have any advice on how to feel alive again

#me @ me: no one cares #sorry to keep depression posting i just dont know what to do #its hard to stay positive when everything feels so fucking bad all the time #covid shit is stressing me out. election shit sucks so bad. my health is bad my mental illnesses are mental illnessing #and if one more person at my stupid fucking job makes a fucking comment about my fucking mask im actually going to start killing #im so serious. i really cant do this anymore #why dont people care about other people it makes no sense #why are people so fucking horrible to each other. everything is so fucking horrible #one of my coworkers literally right now has covid and on our zoom call he was like well the vaccine wouldnt have done anything anyways #are you sure about that??? because you sound like you cant fucking breathe #idk i just feel hopeless and bitter and exhausted and like nothing will ever be okay ever again. and im At Work.#how are you supposed to combat this. what are you supposed to do.#no amount of cognitive fucking behavioral therapy is going to fix the fascism or the climate change or the pandemic or the or the or the #like literally why bother. it doesn't matter nothing matters!#i just want to go home #but then when i get home im like fuck. i really want to go home.

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ashmp3 · 8 months

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making a new workout split and drinking nettle tea and queueing stuff... Normal girl. My gym changed the work time and its making me suicidal but its the only close-only women gym near me so i will have to suck it up before i think of another activity... i saw there is flying yoga near me but the classes are always full boooo they hate my ass but also i love being good at everything so its good to weight lift before trying to enroll again

#i havent been working out in a while bc things happened but i am kinda always muscular and lean hashtag aries rising. but i have new goals #which are kinda polarizing so idk if i will be able to do it but whateva also when i say i havent been working out i mean in the gym #and i miss weight lifting i do shurrrrrrrggggggg #you know when u feel urself getting agitated at the smallest things like depression is at the bay kind of feeling i feel that atm #so ill have to figure it out im too busy for this right now Please #tt #on a positive note my nails are getting long again #me trying to be positive well take it

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rearranging-deck-chairs · 2 months

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having funnn im having fun

#yaz starting this breakdown by going 'and i think im angry'#actualy i mightve edited that out i think she just says 'i hate him sometimes' now ghjfkghjg #cant have your characters say what they meannnnnnn #this is already very direct #but you gotta let them yell sometimes #especially yaz #the doctor opening this scene calling her co-pilot and telling her not to jump out of the tardis #yaz ending this scene by telling her to jump out of the tardis gfhjkghgj #'i love you dont kill yourself' -> 'i dont believe you and actually you know what. do kill yourself'#dhfkjhfgjh <3 girlies #15 in the background like fUCK #hey wait im having a language realisation here #You Who Calls The Shots. the verb agrees with........'it'. right? yeah. you is the.......i have no idea. but not the subject #fun bc i dont even notice these things..............anymore #but in french it's like 'c'est moi qui ai' and im like heyo wtf are you doing 'ai'?? fghkghj #anyway 'if im not who i thought i was'#i dont think yaz ever really bought into........like the flat team structure. bc i think she always felt that her position wasnt equal #or she wouldnt have been so angry abt it in halloween #so i dont think thats a crisis necessarily in terms of identity or position #but i do lately have her ask 'what am i' a lot to the doctor in different words #not from a place of 'i thought i was your equal and now i realise im not'#but more 'i knew i wasnt your equal but jesus am i even WORTH anything to you?'#she knew she was human vs the doctor's superhuman or supernatural a little #but now it feels like. or she feels like. maybe theres a relegation from person to.........toy :/#she knew she wasnt equal but she didnt feel replaceable necessarily #i think now she feels replaceable #not just not a friend in the doctor's eyes. but not a person in the doctor's eyes #and idk maybe thats true #idk how the doctor really thinks abt humans. i think it'd be hard for me to keep thinking of people as people when...youve known so many #maybe they become Friends instead of people

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opens-up-4-nobody · 8 months

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...

#man i was like y tf am i so tried i didnt do shit today but no i got like 5hrs sleep. walked to the store in thr 12F weather. carried back #all my groceries. walked to the police station to get keys to the autoclave. read 40 slides abt anime. started redoing a tutorial #and spent 45 min on the phone giving my intake info for a new therapist. everytime i give the spiel it gets more exhausting #it feels so dramatic like whatever ill b fine but no im seeking help for a reason bleh #but now im tired and worried abt the semester bc itll b a lot. many plates to juggle with a fragile mind #my old boss was like u have an ambitious plan for the semester and im like oh boy well see how this goes #hopefully itll b fine once i get in the groove. just go one step at a time #currently i just wanna redraw 4lways sunny screenshots but idk what ones to draw #but should sleep. i gotta write a long email tomorrow morning for a class intro bc look at me im a professional who def #does not have underlying emotional problems. ugh. idk if i described my mood stuff right to the lady on the phone but like i got diagnosed #as b1polar for a reason idk i just still feel like its fake. like ill look at the checklists and get mad when i get a positive result #which is weird bc its like. u went to 3 doctors and they said the same thing shut up. ugh whatever. i need to sleepy #unrelated

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aromantic-karamatsu · 3 months

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Yeah thing abt anxiety is you actually literally do have to grab your brain sometimes and go "Are you actually in danger?! Is this problem something we can actually fix now or is it a situation that is out of our control and therefore worrying about it actually does nothing?! Huh?!" And then force yourself to realize what situations your anxiety is ACTUALLY helpful and how to let go in situations where it isnt

Unfortunately this is not a skill that you get with a snap of your fingers, you literally have to TEACH yourself how to do it and it's painful.

Even more unfortunately rational people sitting outside of your anxiety are NOT AWARE that this is a literal skill you were basically born without and just tell you "calm down" without understanding YOU DON'T HAVE THE TOOLS TO BE ABLE TO DO THAT. If someone who was super good at weight lifting told me, a beginner at weights, to just "pick up a 50 pound dumbbell" I'D DIE, because I haven't trained to do that! I quite literally don't have the muscle or knowledge on proper techniques to do that without hurting myself, physically or emotionally!!!

So yes, sometimes you DO have to take the high road and just tell yourself "I do NOT need to worry about this" even though it feels stupid and useless because you still worry, but you also have to forgive yourself and understand you are learning! It won't be easy the first few times, and even when you get more used to self soothing and emotional regulation sometimes it's not linear and it's like your first day of lifting weights all over again!

I just think we as a society do need to understand that anxious disorders are both something we (anxious people) can NOT control without effort and therapy and that we (anxious people) need to realize sometimes we DO have to put in painful, uncomfortable work to manage it! It sucks but thats life, and it can get easier with the right support and whatever treatment looks like for you!

#idk as someone who had undiagnosed GAD for years i could never articulate why people's 'get over it' advice was useless #like i could not articulate I LITERALLY DONT HAVE THE TOOLS TO DO THAT!#but then a point came when i was older when I realized “shit i NEED to learn these tools instead of just saying I cant because of anxiety”#because while peoples advice was usless the idea i had in my head of “ill always be like this and cant change” did me bad #and hey my anxiety is different and other people may meed different support or treatments than i do #but to anyone who is very very scared of fscing this anxiety or feels like right now it DEFINES you #this post is for you. what im saying is yes it is tough work and yes you'll feel crazy #that's valid! don't let other people make you feel like you're failing because “it shouldn't be that hard”#it is hard! but also dont give yo because of that! discomfort is part of growth abd as much as you want to avoid it #i PROMISR when you get past that discomfort you come out more learned. more aware of yourself #you start feeling a little better #and better #and each step is like that #and it helps!#so hey my anxious siblings with debilitating anxiety. i see you. i hear you. i know its tough but I understand and i love you #text #idk posts abt mental health because i feel like we need to be honest and not toxicly positive abt recovering #its not super easy and that's fine we should acknowledge that

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its-tea-time-darling · 10 months

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my roommate has a girl he‘s started to date, and his room has a common wall with mine and i did hear them have sex on the first date they had at our place and now, tumblr fam, im gonna be honest im terrified of what the future will bring regarding sex noises 😭😭😭😭

#im like. not judging him for having sex in the first place good for him im happy for him #but i‘ve just only ever been in the other position so this is a first and tbh im just. not very excited about it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#i’ll probably uh #get used to it???#idk #but right now im despairing and feeling terribly sorry for myself 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#txt #cry cry cry #i never considered how lucky i was for him not having brought home any girl EVER during the more than 2 years i‘ve lived with hi #m #but again i am happy for him #just not necessarily for myself nyehdbdhdndhendjns

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follyenjoyer · 5 months

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im gonna kms 😹😹😹 hwat

#❥　🫧　writing #now i feel guilty #hi anxious kiochisato coming right up #guys don't bully me #pls #ok but in all seriousness my ask was positive idk how'd you find rudeness in that 😞😞 im js givin a small tip .#like chill i didn't knew u disliked black outlines 🫠

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crescentfool · 1 year

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ohh the joy of videos and streams... i like listening to people talk about things they like/think about it’s very contagious... 🥺