#idk if you'd be interested but here :)
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top 10 worst celebrities ever
#Look at this freak#Saw that post talking about how in canon only see him in a t shirt but also the suits are a vibe#And mini Dave made like a ton of them#So#I think he can pull of both looks he's versatile like that#dave strider#homestuck#hom3stuck#My art#alpha dave strider#Does he switch it up to throw of the paparazzi? And if so... Which one is the Director Strider Look tm cus Logically#You'd think it'd be the suit#But..it's Dave so would be funny if he dresses up nice as a disguise#Idk alpha Dave is such a vague character we don't know much about him... There's so many different things you can do with him#And knowing Dave's relationship with clothes and fashion#Like... Kid has to learn to do his own laundry???? That effects a kid and how they view clothes?#It's an interesting contrast how the moment he can he makes a bunch of fancy clothes and then spends 3 years wearing the One Outfit#And as funny as the idea of him wearing the t shirt as a director is theres also the whole putting in a persona thing#And then finally getting home and just dropping it all n wearing a r shirt he's had since he was 16#Idk... Many many thoughts rattling around in here.. None of them coherent..
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Wow I sure love being psychologically tortured by an anime
#This episode is... Heavy. I get why b/sd is a seinen (tm)#I cried again. Btw#Idk what else to say. The animation is so pretty and detailed.#Mori is so ruthless and despicable to watch but it all makes for a moderately interesting political commentary?#Shuzen is so pretty!! And even though we've seen so little of him he's so likeable and symphatetic...#(Still tho. Believe me I GET the mental instability and depression–#but did you really need your last words to be something to plague a 11 y/o forever. Like I get it but c'mon dude help me out here)#This arc is daunting.#The only time I cried in the manga and the only time I cried in the anime and you'd think I wouldn't cry after all this time right?#Wrong I cried again#I still sense. The usual underlying morals that I don't share with b/sd. But I don't want to get into it I probably wouldn't make sense#Still this episode poses such a good new moral interrogative I love it#Love it! Let's see what comes next!#random rambles#Once again I wish chapters 84-88 had this kind of budget too (╥﹏╥)
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Long Post about Savage Opress because I am Normal
Savage Opress, you are everything.
You are at your strongest when you are fighting to protect the people you love. You had to participate in a battle royale and subjected yourself to a fate worse than death in order to protect your brother. You were forced to kill the brother you fought so hard to protect, your last words to him as he begged for his life were 'You make (me) weak'.
You are Frankenstein's monster, a kinslayer. You just have to live with that. Your mistress isn't giving you a choice in the matter.
You were placed under the control of a cruel master/mistress twice in the span of like a week. You were forced to betray your master and (under your mistress's orders) you killed two jedi, making you an enemy of the two most powerful entities in the galaxy. You made these enemies against your own will. You were lightning spammed and abused to the point that you were able to break free of your mistress's control.
You are then attacked by these two random jedi you have never met. They seem intent on bringing you in. They stand besides each other and fight to protect each other. You are reminded of how you did the same for your own brother. You killed that brother.
You run to the only home you've ever known, the same home that treated you as lesser-than and transformed you into what you are now. Your home is destroyed, all of your sisters are dead. You are upset by this. They were the cause of your suffering, but they were still kin.
You are told that you have a remaining brother, one who can make you strong enough to protect yourself. You decide to travel across the galaxy to find him. You killed your last brother, you will do anything for this one.
You seem to create trouble everywhere you are now. You are now incapable of solving problems without violence, so violence is what you become. You become hatred. You had love once, but everything that you loved is dead. Except for your remaining brother. You do whatever you must to find him.
You find your brother. Your brother is delirious and half-dead, but he is your brother and you found him. You can fix this. Your brother sees you too, or at least he sometimes does. You are a reflection of him, of what he was meant to be. You are strong and powerful. Your brother is not anymore, but he will be soon.
Your mother, the same woman who took you and warped you into a monster (that is what everybody calls you now), fixes your brother. Your brother grabs your face and twists it, painfully examining your every pore. You don't begrudge him this. You have done the same to it. Your face isn't yours, but it is the only face you have.
Your brother screams for vengeance against Kenobi, he must have revenge. You must stand by your brother, he is all that is left. You embark on a quest of vengeance against a man you only briefly met.
You become everything your brother needs you to be. You are his protector, his sword, his second-in-command. You have love again and you will do anything to keep it this time.
Your brother is a terrible person. Your brother will massacre a village for the sake of getting Kenobi's attention. Your living brother is nothing like the one you killed. You aren't sure this is a good thing.
Your brother lures Kenobi to the village and you both capture him. Your mistress shows up and immediately sets about belittling you. You are the monster she and your mother created. You are not her thrall anymore, you can fight her now. You do exactly that.
Your mistress and Kenobi retreat, your brother chooses to bide his time. You will wait with him.
Your brother and you infiltrate a ship, finding a fortune of credits. You are happy with this, you have never seen this much money in your life. Your brother's only fortune is the downfall of Kenobi.
Your brother calls you apprentice, decides that is what your relationship is now. You don't see the need for dominance, you are brothers after all. Your brother disagrees and you will subject yourself to this for your brother's sake. You are a reflection of him, of all his past flaws. You are devoted to those you love and able to feel things other than vindictive glee or hatred. Your brother is not anymore, he might never be again.
You think your brother is incapable of love. You love him all the same.
You and your brother next run into Kenobi with another Jedi Master. You do not know her name nor anything about her. You kill her, goring her with your (far larger than they should be) horns and running her through with your lightsaber. Your master is not forcing your hand this time, you can finally choose to make an enemy of the Jedi. You would have been their enemy either way, but the false choice is comforting regardless.
You and your brother corner Kenobi. You think for a moment that you have gotten the upper-hand, then Kenobi cuts your arm off. Your body leaks green magic. Your mother's magic still holds power over you even after everything. You wish it didn't.
Your brother shoves Kenobi away from you and decides to retreat. You aren't sure if this is a sign of affection towards you or if this is a strategic move. Your brother speaks as if it's the latter. You see no reason to believe otherwise.
You manage to escape, but are left adrift in space. You are freezing and slowly running out of oxygen. Your home was warm and full of breatheable air. You are alone with only a brother who calls you 'apprentice' for company. Your home was filled with brothers who called you by your name or by 'brother'. You are alive. Your home and brothers are dead.
You next wake up in an unfamiliar place. You smash all the equipment around you. You are now incapable of solving problems without violence, so violence is what you have become. Your brother informs you that his plans have changed, and now you two will be working with Deathwatch. You have no idea what Deathwatch is or who your brother just made a deal with. You will follow him regardless.
You stand up and hit your head on the lamp above you. You were supposed to be shorter than you are now. Your body is wrong. You look in the mirror and you are not yourself. Your body isn't yours, but it is the only body you have.
Your brother takes over Mandalore. You watch as your brother marches Kenobi into the throne room and prepares to execute the Duchess of this planet.
Kenobi offers sympathy. Kenobi recognizes that your brother never had a choice in joining the dark side. Kenobi had gone to your village and seen what it is like for the nightbrothers. Kenobi, despite everything, is trying to be kind.
You hear your story in Kenobi's words. You never had a choice in any of this. You never stood a chance. Your body isn't yours, your mind has been warped and twisted into serving the goals of another. You only wanted to protect your brother.
Your brother kills the love of Kenobi's life. Your brother has stripped himself and you of any possible chance to take the olive branch Kenobi was extending. You ask if you should kill Kenobi now. You know that stewing in grief and guilt can be a terrible fate. Your brother decides to keep him imprisoned. Your brother is counting on the Kenobi stewing in his grief and guilt. Your brother wants to drag out his suffering for as long as possible.
Your brother is in charge for less than a rotation. Your brother panics and bows before a withered old man, calling him 'master'. Your brother lies and fawns to his master. Your brother's master does not care.
You have never met this man before. You have no reason to fight him. Your brother is terrified of him. Your brother grovels before nobody, but he bows before this man. You don't have to do this.
Your brother needs you. You draw your weapon.
You manage to get a hit in on your brother's master. You are one of very few in the galaxy who can say that. You are at your strongest when you are fighting to protect the people you love.
You are stabbed in both your hearts. Your efforts to protect your brother, your pain and suffering, your love and affection, you, Savage Opress, you don't matter. You didn't know it, but you were fighting the most powerful being in the galaxy.
You never had a choice. You never stood a chance.
You die thinking you were unworthy of your brother. Your brother never said or did anything to make you think otherwise. You die calling yourself apprentice, that is the relationship your brother wanted. Your brother holds your hand as you die, it is trembling. You aren't sure if it is from grief or hatred. You decide it must be the latter. Your brother is only capable of hatred.
You knew your brother was incapable of love. You loved him all the same.
You don't know that you might have been the only thing your brother cared about besides his vengeance. You don't know that when you are unconcious he calls you by your name, he calls you brother. You don't know that he nearly killed the Death Watch soldiers, but stopped when they threatened you. You couldn't know. Your brother never told you.
You don't know that he uses his grief as fuel for his duel with Sidious. You don't know that he switches his ire away from Kenobi and decides that his former master is a more pressing target of his hatred You don't know that he spends the rest of his days trying to find a new apprentice to fill the hole you left and that it never works. You will never know. You are dead.
You died realizing you were nothing like your brother. You never were. Your body shrinks down, you finally look like yourself again. You can't be happy about this. You can't take relief in the fact that all the magic which ruined your life has been dispelled. You can't feel anything. You are dead.
You are right. You are nothing like Darth Maul. Your brother is motivated by hatred, you are motivated by love. Your brother will die having found peace, you died having found nothing but pain and grief and yet more pain.
You are my favorite magical girl and you have suffered so much more than Jesus.
#star wars the clone wars#Savage Opress#darth maul#obi wan kenobi#star wars#the clone wars#hey guys I think I have a new special interest#this is very bad. I have enough.#Savage isn't even my favorite Star Wars character. and I have THIS MUCH TO TALK ABOUT IN ONE POST#He IS my favorite character who doesn't make it out of Clone Wars. He is a CW only character and I am sad about that#When I heard that Maul was supposed to hallucinate him in Twins Suns but it was cut for time...AGONY#I get it but AGONY#But fr Savage is actually the most tragic character to me specifically.#this is obviously a lot of extrapolation from the stuff we're given in canon/my interpretation of it#but Savage is never allowed to emotionally react to things or even think about what's happened to him sooo#and Ventress never really explains how nightsister shit works either soooo idk I'm doing my best here#I haven't even touched on the fact that the transformation seems to have fucked with his intellect as well#his body isn't his and neither is his fucking mind. oh my god this man#he is a disability metaphor to me <3#you'd think I'm in love with this man the way I talk about him but I'm literally not into him at all I'm a fucking lesbian#I just think he's neat and also really sad and also jfc WHY AREN'T MORE PEOPLE TALKING ABOUT THIS MAN????#I will also never be over Obi-Wan trying to empathize with Maul as Maul is about to kill Satine. He is so fucking cool actually#And I will never not yell at the screen about how Savage would have been a good Jedi but he never got the FUCKING CHANCE#I'll stop now
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Bed Friend Novel vs Series
I'm not sure if it counts as spoilers since I'm not going to address anything later than where the series is at now, only provide extra background information and point out some differences for what was already aired.
I have to say that so far I prefer the series to the novel but I still thought it could be nice to share key points that are missing.
Differences from the series will be pointed out in pink,
My own interpretation in green.
Uea's background (tw abuse)
Uea's parents fought all the time when he was a kid, and took so long to divorce because they argued over who's gonna get custody over him (both wanted the other to😶). His mom lost and was "stuck" with him ever since, with no child support from his father. She remarried and they moved to his stepdad's house, tearing him away from the extended family he loved in Lampang - the place Uea mentions by the pool in the work outing in episode 4.
His mom and stepdad had a baby, and for his mom Uea was just a sore reminder of her past life and she treated him like SHIT. His stepdad was gentle and tried to defend him against her and show Uea he's "on his side". When his mom found out about his gayness she flipped, did the locking him in a completely dark bathroom several times and was generally an abusive asshole pretty much like shown in the series. Uea kept standing up to her though, at least verbally about his sexuality.
Then at some point when he was a teenager his stepdad woke him up Like That (like in the series) and his mom didn't believe him of course. Since then his stepdad didn't hide behind subtly anymore and kept harassing him. Whenever his mom locked him, it would be even worse now because his stepdad kept trying to pick the lock to get him, which would have been even worse for Uea. Understandable why he's traumatized AF.
At the birthday the reason he left was not because of his stepdad, but because his mom only wanted him to come so she can ask for more money.
Currently he's 27, a graphic designer at that company for 3 years. People keep hitting on him because he's so pretty, but he's very annoyed by it. He hates when people hit on him through Jade (aka middleman), he hates players and flirts.
He had several boyfriends in the past and they all ended up cheating assholes basically.
The most tragic part of his life though is that he LOVES animals but is super allergic to their fur.
King and Uea
They first met 8-9 years before the series, Uea just ended a relationship and was at a bar. King hit on him a little but then Uea saw him hit on someone else and hated him for being "a player". A couple of years later he met him again when Jade introduced them. King and Jade are childhood friends from kindergarten, Jade was Uea's uni roommate so he was civil. Then he was very mad to discover when he started working that King works there too, and they had a kinda hateful relationship since, but it was very one-sided from Uea.
The first night they slept together they were both drunk, King just slightly less so, and he took Uea in a taxi to his house because he didn't know where Uea lives. He put him in bed, and Uea was too drunk to explain about the dark so he just begged King not to leave him and King "couldn't help it".
I think so far it's the only part I preferred in the book, because in the series King was driving and a lot less drunk and more aware of what was happening.
Later - King apologized for taking advantage of Uea like this (and really made a point of not doing anything with him at the work outing when Uea was drunk as we saw in episode 5).
Something I hated in the novel but loved in the series was the morning after, when King talks about how much of a gentleman he was and that he deserves a reward. In the series Uea replied wonderfully saying this should be standard, while in the novel he basically said King missed his chance when he didn't go for it the night before.
In general, King is more pushy and demanding in the novel, more playing into the trope of the big top who can't help himself.
He left a hickey on Uea which he was mad about and did a half-assed apology at first.
Unlike the series when King catches himself and remembers Uea doesn't like something, in the novel when King kisses Uea on the cheek again after Uea stopped him a while before, Uea was the one who had to say "I told you not to do this." and King was very nonchalant about forgetting about that too. Which, to be fair isn't the worst. It's not like King knows exactly what it means for Uea and that it's a big deal, but still pretty shitty.
Another thing that was much better in the series imo was the scene at the end of episode 5 when the lights went out. In the Novel they were going to go to bed and Uea tried to turn out the bedside light only to find out it's needed changing. He was going to go get a new bulb to change but King whined and stopped him from going and made him just stay and go to bed with him. Eventually Uea relaxed into his arms.
Uea keeps referring to him as a "sex addict" which I tie more with Uea's sense of shame about his sexuality.
Pretty early on in their FWB relationship Uea actually told King about his mom's abuse and the reason he's scared of the dark, but they didn't discuss it other than that.
Also at this point - they both like each other, they're both in love with each other basically, and they ARE pretty aware of each other's feelings. The issue is that Uea doesn't believe King can change and doesn't want to enter a relationship with him when King "is and always will be a player". (And he's a complete clown because they basically are in a relationship at this points sdfss).
King, too, is aware of his own feelings but is unsure if he can really commit. Verbally though he keeps trying to convince Uea he can.
Jade
I already mentioned he's King's childhood friend and Uea's uni bestie. He has a way bigger role in the book, and a whole romance of his own that by this point of the series should have concluded if it followed his character's story like the book.
He's exactly the annoying bl "helpless wife" trope and doesn't have much personality other than that. His love interest would have come and left the company by this point so I have no idea what their plan is for the Middleman Love. I know the book's events of that novel happen at the same time as the Bed Friend novel but I have not and will not read it so I don't know much more. For some reason they give some of the roles his love interest had to Gun, who doesn't have such a big role in the book.
I will say Jade is a good friend to Uea, and he really wanted him and King to get along since they're his two besties. When they started to be nicer to each other he almost cried.
Random bits
It really bothered me they went to get a blood test a week after their one-night stand when in the novel it was 3 weeks (the proper amount to wait before doing an HIV test). Also in the novel it was actually discussed it's for HIV (which... other STDs exist yknow), Uea gets tested regularly and also always uses a condom. King says he does too, but they didn't use one That Night because he was too drunk, for which he apologized.
Also, one time King talked Uea into having sex in the bathroom in the morning before work, Uea put his foot down about using a condom "No condom, no sex". They ended up late for work and Uea was pissed.
When they made plans to watch the football match they didn't do the fake phone call, the series really pulled through with that one : ')
Also, they watched the game alone at home, not in a bar with lots of other people (and it was Liverpool vs Arsenal).
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There's probably definitely more, but this is what I remember off the top of my head, and my ask box is opened for more specific clarifications :)
#bed friend#bed friend the series#bed friend novel#ueaking#kinguea#bed friend meta#ish but not really#mjtag#idk if you'd be interested but here :)
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Since I just got ghosted abt the art job I applied for and I still wanna make some dough this summer
#ramblings of a lunatic#uhhh what tags do I use to reach ppl here...#dc comics#<- if you've never seen my stuff (fair) check out my blog and see for yourself if you'd be interested#I'm. upset abt getting ghosted for that job but hey it's only been a few days we'll see#anyway i have yet to iron out fine details (such as prices n whatnot) and i also. think I'd defs need to get into a groove w/ some practice#but trust i think I could pull this off#idk how many slots I'd have open...#again we'll see#anyhoo. yeah some feedback would be appreciated but no pressure
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idc about people being misinformed about silly sports stuff because life's too short BUT there has been one too many things recently where I'm a bit... hm. I feel the rossi/lorenzo garage situation is long enough ago now that the general understanding of this dynamic is... only very loosely correlated to reality... and now it's being discussed a lot and a lot of the takes aren't really... you know. I don't actually care about fact checking because again. who cares. but a lot of the times it's like... the truth is more interesting than this version of events that is being spread around feat. heavy flanderisation I swear...
#is this something anyone would be interested in reading about lol... write in#scoping out interest because when I do a long-ish post I usually like to have A Thesis. something to Say#idk if I have one here. mostly I just think they were kinda funny... I'm VERY fond of it as a rivalry but more as a workplace comedy#it is interesting as like... a bildungsroman arc for jorge. but in those years he was SUCH a mess that it's a bit of a rabbit hole#brr brr#//#wall tag#my issue is it's actual journalists too?? I've heard a few things these past few days where I'm like. okay but that's just. not true#you were thereeeee come onnnn how are you misremembering this so badly....#people are kinda missing out on the arc... idk it's so funny that jorge had such A Reputation that the moment he entered motogp -#- it was immediately like oh this is going to be TROUBLE they're gonna FIGHT and they were actually. determinedly Not doing that#(not to say the vibes weren't. off. the vibes were always off)#first year of the garage wall was because of the tyres!! it was about valentino trying to beat CASEY!! now the second year...#you'd think they were at each other's throats from the first time they saw each other but they weren'ttttt it's more interesting than that#also nobody these days talks about how odd jorge was about valentino... like wdym you asked someone to be your 'uccio' you weirdo#valentino calling jorge 'cheeky'... why aren't we talking about this as a society...
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Will probably delete later but genuinely WHY do so many ppl hate uf papyrus. "He’s horrible and a bad brother and abusive >:(((" my guy. YOU made him that way
#always weirds me out when a really bad take becomes popular fanon and ppl treat it like it's an inherent universal take#happens to all characters I feel but it's esp frustrating when it's not just a bad take but just straight making a character a certain way#as a plot device. or to project ur own issues onto. at that point just. make an oc or smth. why mangle a character so severely. what is#the purpose#im not even going to TRY to pretend i have perfect ic flawless interps (I absolutely don't and know this)#but even w/ characters I have minimal interest in (like asgore for ex) it's important to me to at least *try* to keep them in line w/ their#og counterparts.#and you'd think. given how so many ppl infantilized Papyrus. that some of that would've bled thru into au counterparts#but nope. the fanon versions are practically just wholly different characters who just look similar and 'fill the same role' in their au#and it's honestly not like there's a shortage of other characters sans could have a toxic relationship with in uf#(bc let's be honest here that's 90% of the reason uf papyrus got characterized that way. for ppl to project onto and sympathize with sans)#I don't like having strong negative opinions on things and I especially don't like talking abt them publicly but idk if it's just weird#timing or smth I've seen so many bad takes the past couple weeks#to each their own and I'd never like. bash someone for having a diff take than me. I just don't...understand.#idk#I'm really tired and my eyes are sticky so I really shouldn't even be posting rn bc I will see this later and be like#can't BELIEVE that guy posted an opinion on the internet. WHY would he do that
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got around to mag 146, Threshold. the whole intervention thing- eh. let me see if i can order this well.
Jon isn't entirely human anymore, may not be human at all, not entirely clear on that. Point is, he is currently relying on the Eye to keep him alive. Statements, written or taken directly, seem to keep up his health. He says outright that he felt weak when he began hunting. We've heard Jude Perry's say on the matter, "Feed your patron, or it will feed on you." This isn't hunger, it isn't addiction, it's mutualism of a horrible sort where one party cannot choose to back out. If Jon were still human, the Eye would outright be a parasite. Point is, the Eye will eat at him unless he feeds it. At that point, most people would give in.
Daisy underwent something similar, and we've seen what it took to even loosen the connection between her and the Hunt. She had to go into the heart of a completely different entity, and even now that she's out and actively trying to resist the Hunt, she's weak and very clearly in poor condition. And she was still human.
Basira and Melanie are correct that feeding off of people's fear and trauma is a terrible thing to do, but I'd bet anything Basira wouldn't mind if Daisy got right back up to her Hunting shtick and started killing avatars again. She has an intense bias about the situation. Daisy's situation was easier than Jon's, in some ways. Daisy is able to back down. Melanie has felt an entity, been influenced by one. She didn't get a choice in having it excised from her, and has lost trust in everyone involved in the situation. She was the least afflicted of any aligned human in the Archives, and still had a rough time getting back to who she was without the Slaughter.
The situation as a whole is terrible, but Jon is being accused of being a monster, a terrible person, because he is doing everything he has to to avoid being eaten alive. He was tricked into all of this, everyone in the Archives was tricked into being there, but Jon had the least agency in the situation, and still does.
#magnus archives#the magnus archives#mag 146#if you'd like this is relevant to#statement hunger#i think that's a tag. anyways#i'm interested to see where they go from here#like. i dont think anyone here but basira is in the wrong to be clear#even basira herself makes a VERY GOOD POINT. this is a FUCKED UP SITUATION#but no one here has a choice in the matter from the moment they were hired on#and melanie basira even georgie act like this is something jon is actively choosing to do#choosing to be#and he. clearly wouldn't be this if he could have backed out without dying at any time??#idk. just a bit pissy. s4 really is the 'everyone hates jon' season huh
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so magical that yakuza 1 and shadow the hedgehog came out the same year........ 2005 the best year for sega honestly.....
#snap chats#AND DAYS APART TOO IN JAPAN (rgg1 dec. 8 while shadow was dec. 15)#the gap is significantly wider for US releases but thats not important.....#japanese kids were winning on christmas i swear#'snap why are you bringing this up' isnt it obvious. i am playing shadow the hedgedhog#and i keep thinking about daigo playing shadow and then later down the line just talking to mine bout it cause he can be a lil sillay#i hope he had dreams where he and shadow got to be besties. and by Him And Shadow i mean he dreams himself as sonic#because obligatory Same VA Joke Is Obligatory IF WE CAN GET ONE (1) W FROM RCS VOICING DAIGO. LET IT BE THAT AT LEAST.#for me..... let it slide for me..... yes ik it was jason griffith voicing sonic (and shadow) back then but let it slide this once..#i refuse to acknowledge modern shadow. unless it's from that one uhhh fuck what was the cartoon called#its on netflix Point Is the one time shadow was actually like his old self girl i sobbed. too bad sonic was a dipshit though#a soul for a soul ig.... i think its ok just this once....#im getting so off topic but this is how i inflict my other interests upon you lot#i trap you into reading a post vaguely about rgg and then i make it about something else :)#look at my pfp you fool. i legally have to talk about shadow the hedgehog like once a month ok let me have this#while im here. like /i/ know this game is nine years long but sometimes i forget HOW long#326 endings and for what. because they love me thats why.#fym 'revenge at last' is only ending 11 that seems like the third route or so you'd take (only black doom missions)#ok ive talked long enough. anyway bye im gonna uhhhh god idk.... i keep getting distracted#i started watching kagerou while my sister was playing mysims the other day but i got too engrossed by her playing to continue#mysims was like. A White Whale of sorts in my house for a while since it was one of like five games my sis actually played#and it was her fave but one day 1.) we lost it 2.) our wii stopped working. since that day she's blamed me for losing it#WELL then i found it and i got the wii u working SO all that can stop now 👁️👁️ ok ive fr gone on too long#unfortunately i cant talk about EVERYTHING i want to lest i just turn this into a general games blog. but i wont i prommy#for now. bye fr i think my sis just got home actually LMAO
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Beasties of Greenhollow soundtrack! Some tracks on this are from older projects like elphame but all of them have been reworked in some way. Most of them are entirely new. Enjoy!
#soundtrack#music#indiegamedev#Youtube#beasties of greenhollow#indiegame#chiptune#elphame#hey again gang. Another scream into the void#Things have been getting more interesting tbh#I'm starting therapy again. I have learned from this that my anxiety is in the very very high end.#And I guess the only thing that surprises me about that is that it's an abnormally high amount vs the average.#I've had more intrusive thoughts this week than in a long time. (I almost said ever but that was 2021 where they woke me up...)#It's mostly about my mistakes and ppl I've scared out of being in my life because of the actions based on my anxieties.#Like “if i could go back in time I could fix it”... girl you'd be going back in time like 100 times. At that point it's not fair lmao#I think I shouldn't talk about who I'm dating here anymore. Friends told me to stop seeing so many new people and I took that advice.#I'm exercising incredibly frequently; obsessively so. It really doesn't change much in my anxiety. I walk for like 3 hours a day.#My friend group is... difficult. One of us had a falling out with another and the dynamic is just so awkward for me now.#it just seems like everyone else has moved past it though but I still miss him. I don't think this can be reversed#we used to talk on my stream and play digimon cards n jackbox and d&d... But now they're only interested in d&d which I don't love#For god's sake I've published a game and moved to a nice new place. why aren't I happy hahahaha#work is no longer enjoyable since BoG was publised. our new project is in an iffy category but it's not my place to argue#I want to write music and animate but I have to do my hours for this new project before I can do anything like that...#I ended up siding with my current boss in that ethical dilemma I posted about and rn idk if that was the right decision.#Okay what can i talk about that's good? We moved to a nice place. I'm celebrating BoG's release with family tomorrow.#Graeme's playing Iconoclasts- one of my favourite games! He's also returning to work soon so it'll be less awkward to have a lady over#Thinking about good stuff going on just draws the mind to holidays I've had before. I treasure my memories!#Okay so I've complained for a long long time bc life doesn't feel great rn. But rest assured I already know this is 90% my fault hahaha#Oh another good thing that happened!!! My elestrals card was printed and ppl are really happy with it. I have a card in a real card game!!!#don't tell anyone but there's another one on the way. Anyway that will do for now. I'm sorry about my... self.
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hang on are cougars like panthers
#'the cougar also known as the panther' SCREAM#dont mind me rewatching carmilla as a side effect of my newfound interest in vampires#you'd think it was renewed interest in vampires but no#i actually have never been all that interested in vampires as their own thing i was just gay#and i dont think carmilla really explored the concept itself#like A* in using the medium. D or whatever in exploring their subject matter#actually tbf their subject matter was lesbianism so. again probably an A. they knew what they wanted and they did it well#idk how letter grades work tbh#also not actually sure how much they got into the vampire thing which is why im rewatching to check#bc i was reading iwtv and i was like damn carmilla left stuff on the table#but i also think a lot went over my head#even just english wise im a little stunned at how much i didnt catch. like i was fluent in 2015 for sure but. you do keep learning words#also carmilla is like a popculture remix and i dont have a lot of popculture knowledge so a lot of that went over my head too#now i have just enough to know that im missing a lot#like theres a line in s1 where laura goes 'im living with a vampire. an honest to lestat vampire' and like. never caught that#bc i didnt know how the fuck that was fhkjghgh#but anyway im watching s2 and laura's like 'vampire seductress here is just crabby bc im not falling for her 17th century idea of game'#and like they keep calling armand Ancient right? but carmilla is not much younger#just the difference in framing is what made me start thinking abt it all#like carmilla is 400smth and laura is aware abt that to joke abt it and probably thinks it's a little hot but then you think abt how they#depict that kinda age with armand like what he says to madeleine. 'how do you go on when everything from your era is gone'#and sure carmilla has that loneliness but DAMN. like fuck. shes been doing this same trick. being like the abigail hobbs to the dean for#centuries? i mean there was that century or idk how long where she was buried alive or whatever. but THAT TOO#like damn fuck!!!!!!!!!! ive been going through the fanfic again this week and like there really isnt much#at least doesnt seem to be much that explores this. unless it's in all the aus bc i filtered those out (and still got them)#also interesting difference is if i remember correctly the hollstein happy ending is that carmilla becomes human#in iwtv of course like every important relationship is between vampires. and every lover turns vampire. and every vampire is a lover#sorta. bc abuse themes and stuff. so the inversion makes sense but wouldnt it have been kinda cool if she turned laura tho#anyway. can you believe they were like 'well shes a cougar thats her job and also her supernatural power' dhfkhjgkh as i said: A*
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sometimes your favorite song is by the idol group you see every time you go to tokyo but they haven't released it to streaming and they're quite obscure (not to mention taping performances is extremely NG in jpop idol culture) so the only time you have a chance of hearing it is when you go watch them perform and it's like not even guaranteed that it'll be on the setlist every time and then you find out it's actually by a disbanded sister group of theirs and they also didn't release it to streaming but they did put it on youtube in a 20 minute long video that features their entire first mini-album except for some reason it's the absolute worst quality vocals you've ever heard on a professional recording as in not the mic quality but the actual singing quality as in it sounds like a group of friends doing karaoke not even professional singers just some friends with no retakes no autotune touchups not even re-recording the lines that are off rhythm but it still means you kinda get to hear the song in your apartment. but is it even really the same song as the one you hear when your favorite member gets the solo in the chorus and walks from the back of the stage out towards the audience between the rest of the members as if parting the sea. is it
#really unrelatable content i'm posting tonight#it's not like actually my favorite song but i'm always like swept off my feet when they perform it#god damn am i homosexual#i have got to get to tokyo. i did say i would be back within september . aaaaaaaa#it was like. march or april? that they just randomly started performing it a lot#and it's funny remembering that my oshi is like. actually a very talented idol and not just someone i stan as a joke#sometimes i go in like aaa haha i uh i'm back! me the foreigner! i guess i'm participating in idol culture#bc i do always do the fanmeet part at the end too where i get to talk to her for like. probably 90 seconds? idk i lose track#and even though i'm a random white girl we've been at this long enough that she talks to me exactly like any other idol fan#and does all the 'you were't looking at any of the other girls were you?' and the 'i'm happy you're back i wish you'd come every day!! :)'#very interesting thing to experience firsthand#but also makes me forget that the main reason i stan so hard is because. she's just a really good idol#like sometimes i get to the venue kinda nervous to be there and then as the live goes on i'm like. ah. of course. i'm here not bc of the#idol-fan relationship validation but because i get to watch this lady perform again and she's so so good#especially that song. i really wish they'd release their own version#i really do love her voice#personal
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can i gently ask for a little bit of info about your ocs? what are they like? :3
AAAA the gentle ask, you know how to get to me 😌💜 Kayden (they/he, bi, grey eyes, teal hair, 26 y/o) was the first character I started to flesh out in my head, they've all been through so many iterations in my mind but they were the first one who came to me this time around ig?? They're a complete golden retriever, a happy go lucky lil baby, a little menace, and such good fun to be around! They're bilingual (French/English), a complete slut (affectionate-) and unironically love girlypop from the mid 2000s. A vegan, anti-capitalist punk who goes out every night, but can't sleep alone. Loves classic literature and is definitely smarter than he acts sometimes. Very much in love with Zabeth, though he'd not admit it. 💙 Playlist
Alix (he/him, bi, blue-green eyes, red hair 26 y/o) is Kayden's best friend, the pair met at uni and quickly realised they balanced eachother out well. He's a black-cat, sterotypical "friend's-older-brother-is-a-dealer" type guy, looks so grumpy but would do anything for his sister and bestie, and will absolutely beat you up if you look at him wrong. But he's a sweetie underneath❤❤ Inseparable from Zabeth, was a father-figure to her growing up as their parents weren't around, and cherishes her dearly. Is an atrocious cook, swears in every sentence, and is probably high at any given moment. Playlist
Zabeth (Elizabeth) (she/her, bi, blue-green eyes, purple hair, 25 y/o) is my babygirl💜 Alix's baby (by like, a year-) sister, and Kayden's flatmate, she's a long suffering sweetie of their antics, helping clean up their messes. Very much in love with Kayden, though she'd not admit it (notice anything?-). Cares for her stupid brother endlessly and has the best time being the apple of his eye💜 Loves trashy TV, animals and plants, is so excited to move out of an apartment just so she can have a garden to nurture. Playlist
They all dye their hair together once a month in a ridiculous ritual that uses all the hot water up; they all hang out whenever they can and go to gigs or just get stoned together at home; they all call eachother silly nicknames which would never ever fly if anyone else tried to use them lmao
#I edit the playlists like every other day lmao I expect no one to ever look at them except me#i love listening to them on my drive to work switching playlists according to my mood#if anyone except kayden or zabeth (or me ig as their writer) dares to call alix 'ixy' so help me god you'd be missing a tooth by his fist#i have an 8 page word doc of kayden's lore i'm sorry for the infodump 🙈#me: 'oh my god i'm so shyyyyy-'#also me: 'anyway here's everything i have so far-'#i'm so glad i can share with you all!#tysm for asking idk i'm so new to sharing OCs that it means more than you know for anyone to take interest 😭💜💜#like I KNOW yall are lovely but i have to overcome my ick of being in any way real ig?? idk#thank you thank you 😭💜#OCs#chloe's OCs
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Tagged by @hart-kinsella (thanks!)
I tag: @waddinghamhannah @knowthatiloveyou @boobiebaguettebouquet @reelega @damelucyjo @sophiedevreaux @mexicangela @movrings(feel free to ignore)
Take this test https://openpsychometrics.org/tests/characters/ and present yourself with who you got:
(only posting the first 10 ones)
Lorelai Gilmore (Gilmore Girls): 95%
Rachel Greene (Friends): 94%:
Carrie Bradshaw (Sex and the City): 94%
Alexis Rose (Schitts Creek): 94%
Martha Rodgers (Castle): 93%
Miriam Maisel (The Marvelous Mrs Maisel): 93%
Holly Golightly (Breakfast at Tiffany's): 91%
Veronica Lodge (Riverdale): 90%
Anita (West Side Story): 89%
Cordelia Chase (Buffy the Vampire Slayer): 89%
#this was interesting#But I can't say I'm surprised by most of these to be fair#If you know me you'd know#I feel like there is a theme here and idk if I like it 😅#But I promise I'm not self centred
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oh also i started playing ffxiv again. had 2 keep myself sane while i argued over email with these people. anyway they did NOT have to ramp up that hard in the last two expansions but i'm confusedly clapping i guess??
#the nemesis speaks#swift plays ff14#i'm only in the uhh. third? zone of edw#also spoilers in tags i guess im gonna ramble abt it#but like. the garlemald storyline is way more thoughtful and sincere than i expected i guess#altho after shb i don't know why i'm surprised#the way the people here aren't like. perfect nondescript beings just to subvert expectations#like they're still very loyal to their home. they're deeply garlean. but they're also People#i also like that you only ever get this portion of the garlemald storyline AFTER you've already seen firsthand#what the garlean empire is like to its enemies. and THEN you go to the homeland. i feel like otherwise it would have felt hollow#and also that there was always the implicit assumption bc of the way these things usually shake out that if you ever DID go to garlemald#it would be as like a conquering invading force. which is also what they think you are!#but like... no that wouldn't ever have worked out in this universe. eorzea has never had any interest in invading garlemald#if it would just keep to itself. you've always been the ones defending. and you don't have infinite resources. going on the offensive#would just be needless bloodshed for both sides. so you never set foot in garlemald until it's already broken#idk i like the way it was written! and then on the OTHER front#the wol and the scions. aaaaaaaaa. just finished the zenos bodysteal segment and i cant stop. Thinking abt it.#the way you would drag yourself over hot coals for them. you'd crawl through hell on bloody hands and knees for them#but is that enough. is everything you have to give enough to save them
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I have yet to keep inspecting the sweepstakes, I need some air and food first, but I might as well share what I've been thinking about Mike today, because I heard of an interpretation saying Mike was a camera man for Spamton which ... Is very interesting. Like for me this makes me think of Mike as someone who admired Spamton, someone way smaller than him, definitely younger imo, who simply excitedly followed along with the orders given. I mean, up to a certain point. I mean this feeling is reinforced in the q&a when asked about Mike, that makes Spamton get very defensive, almost protective. In my eyes it almost creates this almost platonic familiar bond dynamic whatever. But like this is just a shot in the dark, bc what we know is, 3 lines, period. But if when chapter 3, 4 and 5 come out and Mike is there and I'm right about these things then I'm gonna feel like a god tbh.
#luly talks#not gonna put this one on main tag bc its a bit too vague and speculative and shit but im leaving rbs on in case some1 is like hm ur into#something here nemo im which case i will wag my tail and bat my eyelashes#but am i making sense anyway?#like just to make sure: my idea of mike is a camera man younger and smaller than Spamton who admired the guy#and spamton out of idk fondness bc he reminded him of his old self kinda took the guy under his wing in a way#that's why he's so protective and shit#although unrelated to this bc just. putting that there and NOT touching it but it's interesting what Spammy says right after name dropping#mike if you believe in the cameraman interpretation (which i saw in a video i then stopped watching bc i wanted to explore that shit myself)#bc he right after says to not believe anything you see on tv but this could easily imply mike did do his part but the editing team changed#shit. but its just very curious what involvement Mike could've had because. why would he be as targeted as he appears to be?#and what caused him to also abandone spamton? is mike even fucking alive? judging by Spammy's q&a dialogue you'd assume he is#but i mean that's official but not canon right so it's a bit hard to judge?#but Mike seems to be the only one he isn't really resentful towards for leaving him almost implying it wasn't Mike's choice?#i just can't wait to see more of this bc it's gonna reveal a whole side to this little puppet previously unknown#in fact i think that after breathing some air im gonna go look at the snowgrave neo fight flavor text and cry and piss and etc#I'm still not over spamton begs the audience to stop taking the furniture i can see the poor guy being evicted as he tries to plead not to#so vividly wugh. my poor little guy of questionable morals . . . 😢#also don't get me started on the commemorative ring man what on earth is going on there.........
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