#bed friend meta

[heretherebedork]

They're both waiting for the other to confess, they're both waiting out of their own fear or fear for each other, out of a love that dares not speak its name because it might be too much but it's a love they both want, it's a love they already share, but it's a love that is still hiding because neither of them knows how to discuss this, neither of them knows to face these feelings that overwhelm them.

King and Uea love each other so much but Uea doesn't trust King or himself and King is desperate to keep Uea beside him, to be able to be with him as support and to share their lives as much as they can without the confession but without the confession King also can't claim their relationship...

And then Uea covers up everything with a smile that tries to hide pain that it never can because King knows but King also doesn't know what to do.

(King wants Uea to tell him not to go, he wants Uea to ask him to stay, he wants Uea to give him a reason to be there but Uea can't do that and King can't ask for that, not directly, so they keep hurting each other instead.)

[malepresentingleg]

Bed Friend Novel vs Series

I'm not sure if it counts as spoilers since I'm not going to address anything later than where the series is at now, only provide extra background information and point out some differences for what was already aired.

I have to say that so far I prefer the series to the novel but I still thought it could be nice to share key points that are missing.

Differences from the series will be pointed out in pink,

My own interpretation in green.

Uea's background (tw abuse)

Uea's parents fought all the time when he was a kid, and took so long to divorce because they argued over who's gonna get custody over him (both wanted the other to😶). His mom lost and was "stuck" with him ever since, with no child support from his father. She remarried and they moved to his stepdad's house, tearing him away from the extended family he loved in Lampang - the place Uea mentions by the pool in the work outing in episode 4.

His mom and stepdad had a baby, and for his mom Uea was just a sore reminder of her past life and she treated him like SHIT. His stepdad was gentle and tried to defend him against her and show Uea he's "on his side". When his mom found out about his gayness she flipped, did the locking him in a completely dark bathroom several times and was generally an abusive asshole pretty much like shown in the series. Uea kept standing up to her though, at least verbally about his sexuality.

Then at some point when he was a teenager his stepdad woke him up Like That (like in the series) and his mom didn't believe him of course. Since then his stepdad didn't hide behind subtly anymore and kept harassing him. Whenever his mom locked him, it would be even worse now because his stepdad kept trying to pick the lock to get him, which would have been even worse for Uea. Understandable why he's traumatized AF.

At the birthday the reason he left was not because of his stepdad, but because his mom only wanted him to come so she can ask for more money.

Currently he's 27, a graphic designer at that company for 3 years. People keep hitting on him because he's so pretty, but he's very annoyed by it. He hates when people hit on him through Jade (aka middleman), he hates players and flirts.

He had several boyfriends in the past and they all ended up cheating assholes basically.

The most tragic part of his life though is that he LOVES animals but is super allergic to their fur.

King and Uea

They first met 8-9 years before the series, Uea just ended a relationship and was at a bar. King hit on him a little but then Uea saw him hit on someone else and hated him for being "a player". A couple of years later he met him again when Jade introduced them. King and Jade are childhood friends from kindergarten, Jade was Uea's uni roommate so he was civil. Then he was very mad to discover when he started working that King works there too, and they had a kinda hateful relationship since, but it was very one-sided from Uea.

The first night they slept together they were both drunk, King just slightly less so, and he took Uea in a taxi to his house because he didn't know where Uea lives. He put him in bed, and Uea was too drunk to explain about the dark so he just begged King not to leave him and King "couldn't help it".

I think so far it's the only part I preferred in the book, because in the series King was driving and a lot less drunk and more aware of what was happening.

Later - King apologized for taking advantage of Uea like this (and really made a point of not doing anything with him at the work outing when Uea was drunk as we saw in episode 5).

Something I hated in the novel but loved in the series was the morning after, when King talks about how much of a gentleman he was and that he deserves a reward. In the series Uea replied wonderfully saying this should be standard, while in the novel he basically said King missed his chance when he didn't go for it the night before.

In general, King is more pushy and demanding in the novel, more playing into the trope of the big top who can't help himself.

He left a hickey on Uea which he was mad about and did a half-assed apology at first.

Unlike the series when King catches himself and remembers Uea doesn't like something, in the novel when King kisses Uea on the cheek again after Uea stopped him a while before, Uea was the one who had to say "I told you not to do this." and King was very nonchalant about forgetting about that too. Which, to be fair isn't the worst. It's not like King knows exactly what it means for Uea and that it's a big deal, but still pretty shitty.

Another thing that was much better in the series imo was the scene at the end of episode 5 when the lights went out. In the Novel they were going to go to bed and Uea tried to turn out the bedside light only to find out it's needed changing. He was going to go get a new bulb to change but King whined and stopped him from going and made him just stay and go to bed with him. Eventually Uea relaxed into his arms.

Uea keeps referring to him as a "sex addict" which I tie more with Uea's sense of shame about his sexuality.

Pretty early on in their FWB relationship Uea actually told King about his mom's abuse and the reason he's scared of the dark, but they didn't discuss it other than that.

Also at this point - they both like each other, they're both in love with each other basically, and they ARE pretty aware of each other's feelings. The issue is that Uea doesn't believe King can change and doesn't want to enter a relationship with him when King "is and always will be a player". (And he's a complete clown because they basically are in a relationship at this points sdfss).

King, too, is aware of his own feelings but is unsure if he can really commit. Verbally though he keeps trying to convince Uea he can.

Jade

I already mentioned he's King's childhood friend and Uea's uni bestie. He has a way bigger role in the book, and a whole romance of his own that by this point of the series should have concluded if it followed his character's story like the book.

He's exactly the annoying bl "helpless wife" trope and doesn't have much personality other than that. His love interest would have come and left the company by this point so I have no idea what their plan is for the Middleman Love. I know the book's events of that novel happen at the same time as the Bed Friend novel but I have not and will not read it so I don't know much more. For some reason they give some of the roles his love interest had to Gun, who doesn't have such a big role in the book.

I will say Jade is a good friend to Uea, and he really wanted him and King to get along since they're his two besties. When they started to be nicer to each other he almost cried.

Random bits

It really bothered me they went to get a blood test a week after their one-night stand when in the novel it was 3 weeks (the proper amount to wait before doing an HIV test). Also in the novel it was actually discussed it's for HIV (which... other STDs exist yknow), Uea gets tested regularly and also always uses a condom. King says he does too, but they didn't use one That Night because he was too drunk, for which he apologized.

Also, one time King talked Uea into having sex in the bathroom in the morning before work, Uea put his foot down about using a condom "No condom, no sex". They ended up late for work and Uea was pissed.

When they made plans to watch the football match they didn't do the fake phone call, the series really pulled through with that one : ')

Also, they watched the game alone at home, not in a bar with lots of other people (and it was Liverpool vs Arsenal).

-

There's probably definitely more, but this is what I remember off the top of my head, and my ask box is opened for more specific clarifications :)

[sunshinechay]

So Uea continues to have just the most expressive face despite himself. Especially when it comes to the love and sadness that he feels towards King.

Uea is allowing himself to feel excited about the possibility of planning a trip with his lover (whether he and King are willing to call themselves that or not.) He revels in these emotions are he enjoys searching for a place to go. A place both he and King will love and get to spend time together out in the open.

His confusion is palpable when King takes him into the staircase to explain that he can’t go on the trip anymore. Why is his boyfriend cancelling their trip? Why is he saying he has to go to an arranged marriage meeting when he’s already dating Uea?

…oh yeah that’s right. They’re not actually a couple and Uea let himself forget that in his joy and excitement.

He tries to fake nonchalance which King sees through right away. Uea already knows he would, because Uea has made the mistake of allowing King to know him, really know him, in a way no one does, not even Jade. Uea was ready and willing to begin the process of cracking himself open and exposing all of his flaws and weakness, all of his perceived short comings for King to see. He was already fostering the hope that King would see past all of that to the boy inside him that just wants to be loved and accepted.

But now he knows. He knows that even if King would be willing to do it (and of course he’d be willing) it doesn’t matter. King is going to go to this meeting and probably meet his soulmate and Uea will be left alone, again. So why not try to reassure King that he will be okay (even though they both knows he definitely won’t be).

As he leaves, you can already see the thoughts turning in his head. How he is twisting all of it in his head and finding some way to blame himself for this happening. The most obvious one is that he was stupid. He forgot that he and King weren’t together. He forgot that King isn’t falling in love with him the way Uea is with King. (Or at least, I think that’s what he is trying to convince himself. After all, King is player. Someone who would likely only settle down because his parents want grandchildren and what better way to find a woman to do that with than with a marriage meeting).

With King in the background of the shot, I think Uea’s thoughts are now turning towards his past history. Likely telling himself that this was bound to happen eventually because that’s just the way Uea’s life works. His mother, his exes, none of them could find anything about him that was worth loving, that was worth sticking around for. By that logic, it stands to reason that King couldn’t find anything either.

Finally the acceptance hits and he tells himself that he needs to get back to work. That he needs to focus on what he knows he’s good for. He is intelligent and can create good, well crafted work. He can get it done by the deadline and hopefully that will mean that there is one less reason that Krit will have to be inappropriate towards him.

Uea’s trauma is on full display in this scene, whether or not he (or King) realizes it. The results of a life time of many different kinds of abuse have lead Uea down a path of self doubt, where he firmly believes he is undeserving of the love that comes with a life partner (romantic or otherwise). King is just another person in a long line of people that managed to figure it out sooner rather than later.

So he blames himself. He is the foolish one for forgetting and inferring about so many things with regards to his and King’s relationship. He has been through this before and yet each time, he is just as hurt. I can imagine at least one comment Uea made to himself, either during this scene or during the vacation is that this is nothing short of what he deserves for believing that he has maybe found someone who could love him.

I think that is one of the reasons why, in a later scene, he is quick to remind King that they are just bed friends. I don’t think he was only reminding King. I think he was also reminding himself. Reminding himself that he has to keep his walls high, he has to get over how he feels and remember that King is not his. He needs King to stop doing these things for him, so that he can also remember that fact. So that he can save himself from getting any more hurt than he already is.

I also find it really interesting that this exchange happens after the pet play scene. A scene that if nothing else, proves exactly how into each other they are. They trust each other and are into each other enough to want to explore kink and how it would work for them.

It’s fascinating to watch just how fast Uea’s trauma response and lack of self worth work to destroy any happy memory he has with King the second there is a set back. It’s not King’s fault, nor is it Uea’s really. It’s something that’s been happening most of his life. It’s why he has walls so high and different (yet remarkably similar) boundaries for everyone in his life. He wants to preserve the happy memories if he can, especially since they are so few and far between. He wants to be able to ignore the sense of shame and guilt that permeates his life. But at the same time, there is always a part of him that believes that shame and guilt should be there. That they should be something he is aware of every second of every day, lest he forget what a horrible person he really is.

[bengiyo]

Bed Friend Ep 8 Stray Thoughts

Last time, things came to a terrible head with Krit, who tried to assault Uea in his office and then also tried to ingratiate himself with Uea's mom. Uea broke things off with King after he insinuated that Uea wanted Krit to be gross to him. Uea also told him mom off very loudly and publicly for protecting his abuser. Thankfully, Uea told Jade about what has been going on, and at this point Uea has resigned. He's now taking a trip to get away, but it's clear he's still thinking about King.

I don't know who this aunt is, but she's the first elder we've seen in this show that has any regard for Uea as a person, and is the only elder who has asked if they can touch Uea.

Oh, Uea. You can't text message breakup.

With how bad car violence is in Thailand, it's so alarming to see King trying to use his phone while driving stressed.

King finding out that Uea resigned because Krit finally pushed too far:

Did Net/King use a different accent when he asked for a room?

Honestly, Net and James are the most beautiful acting pairs I've ever seen.

I adore Jade. He's right to call King an idiot and chide him for all of these mixed signals.

I really love the way James embodies Uea. The way he clenches his jaw and steels himself for asking, "Do my feelings matter?" lands so clearly.

I feel like I recognize the actress playing Belle.

I'm glad Belle and King are united against their parents.

These boys talking about the intensity of their feelings. I'm gonna need Uncles Cheep and Dej to come talk to them about making it work long term.

Uea is so good about setting boundaries. It's sad because his are so constantly violated.

Net has a very affective pout.

I like seeing Uea smile in amusement again.

Holy shit that is an enormous statue.

I hope we have some Buddhist fans in the tag, because I'm curious about these rituals we're seeing in the montage.

Krit was really trying to assault an employee in a room with CCTV. This man is disgusting and stupid.

Cheewin did some nice stuff with the shots in the office lounge area.

Okay, I get why they have this confrontation with the CEO, but legitimately I hope this also went to the HR department and people were properly fired.

Did this company not have a sexual harassment policy before this incident?

I'm not a survivor, and would like to know how others feel about the company providing for Uea to seek mental health care.

I'm glad we don't have to hate Mongkol. It's good to show that Mongkol and Krit aren't on the same level, but both believed they could rely on nepotism to do whatever they want. They really just wanted him to contribute to the team.

Once again, James is so beautiful. This outdoor shot in the black and white outfit? GORGEOUS!

'"Because I'm beautiful." He's so right.

We're 43 minutes into the episode and Uea is wearing red again while King is doing everything he can to hold the horny in. Uea knows and is being a menace. I'm sure @respectthepetty is having a blast.

Oh, Uea is going to reveal his trauma to King. No more jokes.

I just really love the way these two talk to each other.

Between this and A Boss and a Babe, I'm glad to see characters taking pills for mental health reasons treated as a normal part of their health care.

Obsessed with the I'm a Weirdo shirt and how it looks like Uea's heart is bleeding, as King wears a black hoodie with a red rose over his heart.

This is uncomfortable, but it's true that Uea is likely not his only victim.

Oh lord, we gotta deal with yet another person hitting on Uea, Sorn's arrest, and King's parents striking back next week.

I'm excited for James and Net to get another show this year. I've deeply enjoyed their scene work together for the last two months.

[waitmyturtles]

I can’t believe it’s over. Bed Friend -- you took me through all the emotions, all the worries and concerns about filmmaking and scripts, and unbelievably, you ended on the most perfect high note of all!

For me, this was UNEXPECTEDLY a great show, as I was REALLY worried, mid-series, about how the script and editing was going. Bed Friend, episode 10/finale thoughts!

I’ve seen some thoughts wondering if episodes 9 and 10 (the run was originally eight episodes) were necessary. I think they were.

The show needed to close the storylines of Uea’s mom and Pran’s dad, of Krit, and of the other abusers in Uea’s life (including Pock from earlier in the series). I think the show NEEDED to set up a storyline about King “caring for” Uea in the revenge-seeking of episodes 8 and 9 -- as the “caring” notion became an important tie-in for King to propose to Uea in episode 10, but had been there all along throughout the series (I LOVED that flashback that happened before Uea turned out the lights in the bedroom in the finale. Showing how King cared for Uea during the garage black-out earlier in the series was so apropos and reminiscent of how he’s cared for Uea all this time.) I think the show needed the time and space it took to really demonstrate the internal changes happening in Uea as he accepted King as his partner.

And I loved how episodes 9 and 10 continued to establish a closeness between Uea and his sister, Tongkao. In episodes 9 and 10, Uea’s family was finally confirmed and clarified. He was going to get to keep the one blood family member that truly loved him (his sister), while King’s family began to commit to bringing Uea into THEIR family. (TIAN’S DAD! Always there for the good moments!)

The yacht bit may have been overkill, but you know what -- I LOVED IT. 

Because! I think, for all that we worried about earlier in the series (@bengiyo hit this nicely in his stray thoughts about the finale, as I remember we both thought the editing of the episodes mid-series was off) -- Uea was just OVERWHELMED with trauma after trauma after trauma. Past and present trauma.

That not just a lot for a script to take on -- that’s a lot for a HUMAN to take on.

So, I think the series needed to convincingly take its time to help Uea get to his happiness. It was going to take a long time for Uea to work through all of that, with or without King.

I really liked that we had a timeline jump of a year in there, and to see Uea and King as affectionate as ever in their relationship. And to see Jade so excited for his friends to settle down, and to see King as excited as ever to continue moving forward in his love for Uea. (Hearing King’s voiceover about finding simple happiness with Uea...I was gutted. My family-loving heart.)

In other words: Uea went through his shit. We needed some candy-gilded episodes to recover from that shit. But I do think the episodes were necessary, because they still touched on the dynamics that Uea will have to manage throughout the rest of his life -- jealousy, workplace interactions, in-laws, and concern for his sister. (@bengiyo, I loved that you picked up on the doom music for King’s mom’s commentary about the rings, because that’s a very WhatsApp-chat-among-the-aunties kind of conversation that happens all the time, ha.)

This show wasn’t perfect, especially from a construction standpoint. It was indicative that the producers believed they needed two more episodes. But they got the job done. 

Like I said last week, Bed Friend is not in the echelon of the truly artistic and amazing GMMTV dramas. But this show carried a trauma-impacted storyline to its end, we got a tremendous and convincing happy ending -- and we got to see two people DEEPLY (like, VERY MOVINGLY AND DEEPLY) care for each other, grow INTO each other, and make family with each other, all while being hottie-hottie. I mean! That’s GREAT balance. 

This show was FABULOUS, and I HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT. (@lurkingshan, if and when you binge it, please tag me, because I’ll be SO curious for your thoughts!)

King and Uea -- I’m gonna miss you, but I get you back in Middleman’s Love, and I can’t wait!

[gennianydots]

They’re getting closer and closer in the bedroom, the *one place* they can be together and King can love on Uea in a safe place and yet every shot of them talking in the real world (aka the office or anywhere not the bedroom), the cinematography puts one of them (mostly King I think) in the background, away from the other.

This episode felt like King was so far away from Uea even when he was standing close or near. Because even though King wants to be Uea’s and Uea wants to be King’s, they can’t talk about it. I felt like Uea was protecting himself a little bit because he’s already deeply attached to King and it really felt to me like he is trying to come to terms with the end of their time together. This just breaks my gay heart a little. 💔

Soooo….I think I’m just a *little* feral about this show.

[ginnymoonbeam]

Was thinking about the missed vacation in Bed Friend, and the thing is - there's no explanation or elaboration King could have made that would have made that not a disaster for them. The heart of the problem was that Uea was looking forward to it. Uea, who believes good things don't happen to him, let himself feel happy and hopeful for a few days. Having the rug yanked out like that just proves (to him) that he was right before, good things don't happen and hope is a cruel trick.

As attentive as King is, I don't think he has any idea how fragile Uea's ability to hope is, so he didn't understand how damaging it would be to offer something good and then pull it back. It's not just about the arranged date, it's not just about the insecurity of their current relationship, it's Uea's entire belief system about himself and what he can expect from the world.

[whatisgodtoanonbeliever]

Okay so here's what hurts me so bad rn

King did go to the match. He went, and I think he went understanding it was hurting Ueab but assuming he'd find a way to fix it. That he'd be given a chance. He didn't know how much he trust Uea had been placing in him nor do I think he understood how immensely fragile that trust was.

And it all comes down to communication God dammit. Not saying Uea needs to divulge his trauma, but God I wish his courage to ask about a trip hadn't been crushed so fast when rejected, that is could have been him taking the step of a claim on King's time. But he has so much history with not getting what he wants, so why would he ask now?

And KING my boy you have been the one taking the lead and putting yourself out there (you literally just did with the cat ears) so why is this the one thing you won't speak into existence? And I understand wanting Uea to make that call and there is a background unknown to him, but God he knows Uea by now, had to see how much he wanted that trip. That was him making the call,, to put more of his heart into this than had already been given.

And it's frustrating because everyone is being hurt, and I wasn't expecting to sit here with the sun shining as I sob about Uea not getting his holiday with the (essentially) boyfriend. And now Uea is shutting himself away again and I really hope King makes the move because Uea won't risk it I feel after this rejection.

[djeterg19]

It's been two days and I still want to throw hands with people for Uea. His mom. Krit. His step dad. Maybe a smack upside King's head to knock some sense into him.

[waitmyturtles]

Tagging @lurkingshan, because we’re tracking how this script is managing heavy trauma — I think this is an INCREDIBLE reflection on one way this management is happening.

Uea and Red

I don't have a fancy intro for this so lets just get right into it.

Uea is red. We know Uea is red. I know Uea is red. But there is just something about the red on Uea that feels wrong. That I am having trouble wrapping my mind around. Maybe it's just that the color choice doesn't match well with James, but I'm going to choose to analyze it as an intentional part of the show instead, because fuck it, we ball. Because you see, it isn't all of the reds that I have trouble believing, just one specific shade.

So what red do I have a problem with?

The bright red. Uea's main red. Unfortunately :(

There is just something about it that makes it feel...fake? to me.

But, as I said, there are plenty of moments in the show where I wholly accept, understand, and associate Uea with red.

So when do I buy into Uea Anol The Red Rascal?

In lighting like this:

In clothing like this:

(I do consider pink to be a red since it has red in it.)

(This last image is from the after-credit scene of Cutie Pie where Net and James cameo as King and Uea).

In King's sheets:

All this to say that there are times when I completely see Uea as a Red Rascal, but I needed to figure out what it was about the main red that always took me out of that mindset. What was it about the main red that made me feel like it was a lie?

And after reading @respectthepetty's commentary on a previous thread : "Uea wearing a blue shirt in the past could very much symbolize him trying to not be himself." it really got me thinking.

That red is too saturated, too vibrant, too loud for Uea. At least in my opinion. Because while RTP is also correct and Uea "has been shown to be more spontaneous, attention-getting, and dominant" that is really only true when Uea is being sexual. When it comes to sex, Uea is the more dominant person. It is Uea that initiates/asks for the first sexual encounter with King, it is Uea who sets the (truly low bar) rules, at every point of the sexual relationship he has with King, Uea is in control.

But the same can't be said for non-sexual situations. In social situations, in matters of day to day existence, external personality, etc. King is the far more outgoing person. At the office King is the one who gets all the attention, he is more openly flirty. And while Uea gets his share of attention in the office, he does not reciprocate it the way that King does. Uea is quiet, Uea is reserved, and that's doubly the case when Uea is triggered. Unless he is actively re-living the moment, he dissociates or retreats in to himself to process his own emotions. When Uea's mother asks him for tuition in Episode 1 and he starts thinking about all his other stressors, he doesn't say a word, he just returns to the karaoke room and starts drinking:

At the hospital he folds in to himself, he barely puts up a fight, the only time he really even says "No," is when King starts reaching for his own wallet:

When King sniffs his neck the way his stepfather used to, Uea retreats to a hallway to hide. At no point does he offer any explanation (and to be clear he doesn't have to, he's allowed to keep it secret)

Honestly, the only way anyone in Uea's life probably has any indication that Uea is going through so much is from physically witnessing it themselves (King seeing Uea freaking out in the dark, King seeing Uea submissive in front of his mother, Jade protecting Uea from Pock, King rescuing Uea from Pock).

So to have such a bright and vibrant red for Uea feels wrong, it feels like a lie to me. Mostly because Uea's daily personality is more passive and restrained compared to his more open and demanding personality in the bedroom. I believe Uea as a Red Rascal when his reds are darker and muddier (the red-browns) or lighter and more subtle (the pinks). Uea's bright reds make me question his color-coding far more because it is so strong a color. (To be clear here this is not me saying I don't think Uea is strong, just me saying that he is too quiet for the bright reds).

And it got me thinking more about when and where Uea wears the bright red colors and where he doesn't. And it always seems to be in moments of anxiety.

When Uea wears bright red:

At the very beginning of Episode 1 when he is introducing himself to the audience

When he goes with King to get tested for STIs

When he goes home for his birthday.

These are all anxiety inducing moments.

Uea is making a first impression on us the audience, he's trying to gets us to see what he wants us to see. He is trying to convince us that what he is telling us is true. That is ordinary. The literal first words in his opening monologue are:

"I'm just an ordinary salaryman. I'm nothing different to others, but there might be one thing different...I don't like being around people in the office,"

Three minutes later, we get the truth:

Uea may seem like an ordinary salaryman on the outside, but he has been horrifically abused and is struggling with navigating trauma that is far outside what I would call "ordinary". Guess who picks up on the issue? King.

STI testing is the same thing, Uea is worried and King says as much:

And anyone who has seen Episode 4 understands perfectly well the anxiety Uea must be feeling at the prospect of going home. Because well...

#pransdaddarktimelineedition

And we know one of Uea's coping mechanisms is sex. He can't find the words to talk about his feelings properly so he tries to push them down, and distract himself with pleasure. If we want to look at the bright red as anxiety, Uea usually has something white on as a cover. His anxiety is there but he is trying to hide it.

But at King's he takes that white sweater off, tries to fuck his feelings away, but the anxiety is fresh, he hasn't regulated his emotions enough yet to be convincingly okay, and King #greenflagextraordinaire once again notices Uea is not in an emotionally secure enough place to proceed with sex.

And sure, you can argue that Uea wears these bright reds while he's one on one with King, and there the bright red can't just be anxiety, and we could also argue that every color has positives and negatives and the same could be said for the bright red. And to that I say, sure, but the one on ones with King are as follows: King snaps Uea out of an active trigger, King and Uea discuss starting a friends with benefits situation, Uea shows up to King's apartment on short notice after having a breakdown. None of these moments are what I personally would consider stress free.

Compare that to when Uea wears more muted/subtle reds:

The first time he meets King in a bar, (this is actually the brightest red that he wears that I can actually believe for Uea, and that's because it is a darker red than the other three firetruck red shirts.)

The day after he's shared a moment of connection and trust with King in the hospital after sending his mother home.

When he has forgiven King for accidentally triggering him without King knowing and is ready to re-initiate the FWB.

In the pool with King, when King asks him if he likes the sea and Uea replies "Kind of, but I preferred the calm one,"

Even the red lighting is different, the first red light is brighter and more intense, and that's because Uea is under time pressure to make a decision about whether or not to start the FWB deal with King. In the warmer post-coitus light of the second lighting photo, Uea is incredibly relaxed, almost drowsy, and is being asked to answer honest questions about why he agreed to be FWB. He's not anxious here, he's calm, and as a result Uea and King get to bask in a richer, deeper, less harsh red light. We can interpret the same information from King's sheets, with Uea being happy and relaxed and cuddled by King.

And even when we finally get King in red:

It's still not as bright as Uea's more purely red outfits (ie not the red-browns or the pinks). And naturally because King is still hiding something we've got to trap the brand new red color with all that black.

ANYWAY all of this to say I have figured out what is off-putting to me about the bright red, what makes me feel like it's a lie. IT'S BECAUSE IT IS A LIE!! Or I guess, more accurately, it's an over-compensation. Uea is red, but his trauma and his pain has made that red less vibrant. If respectthepetty is right, and let's be honest the Parent of All Tumblr Color Theory is always right, then Uea wearing blue at home was his way of suppressing his true self.

And if that's the case, then the separation he has from home, because he is no longer living there (since he's still in communication with his mother and therefore cannot fully be separated), has allowed Uea to stop hiding his true self, and embrace the Red Rascal he is. BUT because of his trauma, because his response to trauma seems to be more on the flight and freeze side of things, he is more prone to submission in the face of environmental triggers. When he can no longer simply ignore his mother's text messages, he will try to get his Mom to take a taxi, then give her money, and then resign himself to going to the ATM rather than actually fight her. When he sees his stepfather again, he will run to the dining room rather than engage, he will try to run to the kitchen, when he is stopped he will beg, quietly so as not to make a scene, and then he will run, and run again. (I want to be clear here, Uea does not need to fight, he is doing everything right, and he's doing the best that he can.)

When Uea is faced with high anxiety situations, he needs reminders of who he is. And those reminders need to be bright, and they need to be loud, because they need to be able to break through his initial panic and ground him. So he wears the bright red to tell himself and tell others fundamentally who he is:

A Red Rascal

And funnily enough, this bright red shirt Uea wears at the end of Ep. 4 is the only bright red shirt so far that doesn't bother me. It seems to fit him better than the other bright reds do and that is probably mostly because the loudness of this shirt is mitigated by the shadows on the front darkening the overall color and back of the shirt being washed out by the light rather than intensified by it. Or possibly because the pattern breaks up the color in a way that doesn't make it even brighter. I feel like the solid white stripes, and the solid white jacket from the examples above make their reds almost neon.

Here though, Uea is drunk and being hit on by a stranger. I don't think our boy is coping very well with the realization that he might be falling for King and so the Anxiety Red comes back. But it's not as In Your Face Bright Red as the others, and that's because he's not in as high stakes of a situation here. It's just hinting to me of potential inner turmoil on Uea's end, and since I haven't read the book I have no idea if Uea is contemplated fucking up a good thing and trying to end it because he doesn't think he is deserving of good things.

---

And for a total tangent, shout out to the purple in Ep. 3 after King and Uea's first night as official FWBs. I love when red and blue combine ;)

Ok, I have nothing else to say on this matter at this time. Thanks for listening, and as always if you made it this far, please collect your invisible Participation Medal.

TL;DR: Uea is a red rascal, but only when he is wearing muted red tones, not when he's wearing actual red. Shhh, I know...but it makes sense in my head

[heretherebedork]

I am so glad that Uea ended the friends with benefit relationship because they had to do that, they had to step out of their current dynamic to start something new because they were both waiting for the other to take the first step and now that's been pulled out from both of them so King has to make the first move and admit his feelings in order to find a new and better balance.

[absolutebl]

TOP 10 BL Trends of 2023

This is just me with my analysis hat on. 

1. 2023 = the year EVERYONE went outside their lanes

Everything went topsy-turvy this year in BL. 

For example, Korea gave us agonized yearning and outright queerness (The 8th Sense, The New Employee) while Japan served up soft office workers and tender family (Our Dining Table). 

The BL world went askew for a while, especially in the spring of 2023. 

Not that we still didn’t still get Korea’s soft angsty bubbles or Japan’s “what are you doing and why does it hurt?” kink-fests. But there were quite a few BLs that made us chronic watchers sit up in confusion and wonder if Korea was dabbling in Taiwan’s territory or Japan in Thailand’s. Then they fudged the kisses and we were like... okay, back in familiar territory. 

In contrast, Thailand stayed course-correcting for the damage they’ve done in the past with tropes (2022) and self referential meta criticism (2021), but also almost aggressively returned to their BL roots after last year’s series of shockers. Certainly, they are reexamining those roots, transplanting some, aerating others. But they really went back to classic Thai university and high school BL and pulps in a big way in 2023. 

Taiwan is always difficult to gage because they produce so few but they seem to have stuck with what they do best with no deviation while producing more this year than they have in ages. I’m happy for that, why change a good thing? But there is a tiny part of me that really wants them to hit it out of the part with a quality piece soon. For me, We Best Love still reigns supreme, but I would really like the HIStory franchise to give us that level but longer - like a happy version of Your Name Engraved Herein. I think Taiwan has the chops to give us something as good as The 8th Sense or Old Fashion Cupcake but in their style, and I would like to see them exercise their talent for good rather than just profit. 

I know, what a very odd thing for me to say. But if any BL is going to break into the mainstream American market, I genuinely think it’s most likely come from Taiwan. 

Vietnam and the Philippines are falling behind, in general. They just didn’t bring out very many shows in 2023, and what the brought out tended to fub the endings. This is forgivable in Japan (because of their style and quality) but not what watchers want in the lower production value propositions. In other words, if you do a pulp, you can’t mess up the ending (by romance standards). that doesn’t look to be changing anytime soon. 

2. The Office Romance Dominated

After years of Thailand serving us an endless (and slightly bland) buffet of university (and a few high school) BLs, this year Korea was basically like...

Ofiice. We like the Office. It’s cheap to film we can use grown up actors, acting (mostly) their actual age. 

And yeah... it totally worked. 

To be fair, Japan has always given us office live action yaoi from the beginning (they had the source material) but this year everyone else, including Thailand, seriously started playing in this setting. 

3. Boys Danced with Boys

The darling @heretherebedork​ was a big fan of this one, and I rather like it myself. Prior to this boys dancing together was very very rare in BL, but this year we got way more than our fair share. It was lovely. 

Never Let me Go

My School President 

Bed Friend 

The Day I Loved You 

Step by Step

Be Mine Superstar

Tie the Not 

Dangerous Romance

I think there were a few more. These are the ones I remembered to write down. 

4. Getting (even more) Meta With Tropes 

BL has been getting more and more meta over the past few years but this year they really focused in on tropes specifically. Calling out their own biggest and most favorite tropes in a massive way, especially Thailand and especially GMMTV. 

Like they tunneled in on damaging tropes with Bad Buddy and the like over the past 2 years, and now they are just having fun with us. 

I mean they just started the dancing trope and already they are calling it out? That’s like rapid-fire regurgitated meta there, GMMTV. 

5. Cameos are the norm now 

Taiwan has always loved cameos but in the past the other countries have been show and steady with only one or two a year. (Unless Japan does a parody.) 

This year Korea got in on the game.

Korea rarely starts trends but they do adopt smaller and lesser known existing ones and make them super popular. 

This year they did that with cameo couple appearances, even borrowing a few of Thailand’s pairs (TutorYim and MaxNat traveled north). They did it so much I stopped tracking. Love Class 2, Why R U?, and Jun & Jun were the heaviest hitters. 

Taiwan, of course, came back swinging. Kiseki was the gum-ball machine of pair cameos. (In Taiwan mafia = gay.) 

6. We are entering the cross pollination age

The number of remakes picked up or started this year was startling, not just countries revisiting their own content (Thailand, Japan) but countries revisiting OTHER countries stuff.

Lemme explain...

Korea has started remaking Thai content (Why R U?) alongside cameo'ing Thai pairs.

Thailand is doing Korean IP (My Dear Gagster Oppa) and has 2 Chinese ones slated for next year. 

GMMTV acquired a lot of Japanese IP (Cherry Magic, Ossen, and My Love Mix Up) - and then had problems distributing it. 

This is probably the most surprising trend for me. Especially the Japanese stuff. I would have thought these properties well outside of Thailand's price range (even GMMTV's) not to mention Japan’s legendary IP issues (I swear I typed this pout before the pulled TayNew’s excellent Cherry Magic). 

Also why not option some of the older popular manga instead? Bet that's much cheeper. (I did see a NEW Thai translation of Finder into Thai, which is 90s yaoi, so I have my fingers crossed on that front.)

I shouldn't be too surprised. 

Thailand is running out of y-novel content. Their publication industry is just not robust enough (I was just talking to a friend about this at length recently). But I didn't think they had the funds to option, especially from Japan. 

Perhaps the option deals are for peanuts?

7. Korea got cheeky

I’m not sure quite how else to put this. 

After finally figuring out boys can kiss, Korea started to do not just higher heat but playful higher heat, with more aggressive word play and linguistic innuendo, like they are entering their racy rom-com teenage years (Why R U? Love Class 2 and Jun & Jun in particular.) 

I guess: Welcome to your BL teens, Korea? 

It’s cute of them. I am very much enjoying it. 

And now that comedy is warming them up, we get to see them play with actual queer burgeoning physicality in shows like The 8th Sense. 

It’s nice. I like seeing Korea stretch its wings. They still stick to their bubble, but that bubble seems to be expanding. 

8. The Amnesia Trope is back

And I, for one, would prefer to forget about it. 

9. BL got trendy 

I’m not quite sure how to articulate this category but basically we started seeing a lot of “modern” romance trends out of the west (like a/b/o) show up in our BL. Not a ton and sometimes quite small, but there has a been a steady rise of things like: no seme/uke, femme gay, out gay, condom use, messy gay. 

We also got an increasing range of sub genre frameworks (like mafia, office setting) that’s moved BL pretty firmly (even in Thailand) out of school and into the workplace, whether actual working is involved or not. 

It’s not to the point where it feels like we get more non-school BL than school BL (if I include all countries in this assessment).

Japan, in classic Japanese fashion, quietly started moving in the opposite direction. It’s what they do. 

10. The Vampires are coming 

This is an announcement trend, which I don’t usually report on but it’s so CLEAR. 

So last year we had a spate of announcements of possible Omegaverse (2 from China, 1 from Japan, 1 from Thailand - the only one that’s happened). 

This year we got 5 Vampire (or vampire-esk) Thai BLs announced including one from GMMTV. 

Whether all 5 will actually get made is unlikely, but having had (basically) none prior to this (Kissable Lips), I’m pretty confident that we will get at least 2 of them. And I wouldn’t be surprised if at least one other country made one as well. (Side eyes Taiwan with interest.) 

Final thoughts

It feels like we are also seeing a decline in BL (both by quantity and quality) from Vietnam and the Philippines. As you all know, I don’t track or really watch either of these two very closely. But it feels like, now, no one else is either. 

I think we have likely seen the BL heyday already in both places and their industries are now on the decline. 

We might be witnessing a thinning in the players in the BL field. 

FYI we had approximately 

136 BLs in 2023

Previous Years

2022: 117

2021: 95

2020: 62

2019: 40

2018: 30 

2017: 44 (China’s last gasp)

2016: 27

2015: 17 (50% micro)

2014: 17 (50% micro)

And that’s it! Let me know in the comments if you’ve spotted any additional trends you want to call out.

Last year, 2022′s trend report

2021′s Trend report

Last Year’s Stats & Predictions

(source) 

[pnfc]

i haint watched the dang chibisode and idk if ill actually watch it with sound on sdfjk but i have a hurt feeling about them casually imbuing perry with speech for a one off gag because the idea that he needs to talk to communicate is fake. we had 4 seasons of wacky magic hijinks cartoon where perry never needed verbal speech to communicate. they couldve done this gag at any point in the show but they didn't, and the fact that they didn't felt significant. perry's muteness is such a core part of his character, to me, to the way i conceive of him/write him. i don't wanna overreact to a goofy little side cartoon (even tho i'm doing it anyway) but it's still the characters, and it still upsets me! ok that's it i've said my piece

[waitmyturtles]

So wild to see this motif return again, from Bad Buddy to Bed Friend, in the context of trauma. Down to the yellow smiley lamp. But we’re dealing with very different kinds of trauma in both shows.

Bed Friend is really showing us how Uea covers up his pain to everyone with smiles.

I like that Uea has hid his smiles from King because it means they are genuine. He doesn't smile to hide his pain from King. He hides his smiles instead, so he doesn't have to admit how happy King makes him. He can show King his true self because King sees Uea for who he is and can tell when Uea is in pain.

But now Uea is showing King more of his smiles

And hiding their special moments

Because just like his genuine happiness, it's something he isn't ready to show the world.

Yet.

[bengiyo]

Bed Friend Ep 4 Stray Thoughts

Last week, King accidentally triggered Uea when he tried to kiss the back of his neck, and we, the viewers, were made privy to the knowledge that Uea was sexually abused by his stepdad. King apologized, even though he didn't exactly know what was going on, and assured Uea that he would never do anything to make him uncomfortable again. King is getting jealous of his coworkers flirting with Uea. Pock showed back up, and Jade was the only correct person to get security, followed by King insisting Uea report the incident to the police. We left with Pock assaulting Uea in the parking garage.

Trigger Warnings: sexual assault (0:40 to 0:56, 14:20 to 15:20), rape mention (2:58 to 3:08, 15:50 to 16:40), child abuse (15:56 to 17:40, 25:51 to 26:02), post assault bruising treatment (6:40 to 7:25), sexual abuse flashback (14:14 to 15:20)

Alright. I need to pause immediately. James's voice was far too convincing when he played Uea's panic. (0:48 to 0:56).

So relieved King was still around. We should note that in the heated moment he declared himself Uea's boyfriend. Yes, he said it for Pock's benefit, but we know it's what he wants them to be.

I like how King, when he really wants to take care of Uea, frames the request as a favor Uea is granting him.

Props to this show for focusing on the physical aftermath of punching something. You will hurt your hand.

Man, these two do lust really well. It feels comfortable?

They're even showing the bruises Pick gave Uea. Love that King waited until Uea was asleep to apply something to them. Also, Uea's secret smiles are going to destroy me.

Absolutely vile to use Tonkao to force Uea to come back to the house. Did they make James take off his shirt to soften the blow for us?

Oh, gay boys and their sisters.

This is so gross to watch. This man is still trying to abuse Uea.

Though it is super uncomfortable, I'm relieved that if they're going to explore the specifics of what Uea experienced, the more physical work was given to James and not a child actor. Still, James's voice during these scenes is chilling. I keep holding my breath.

Did she really beat this boy with a wire hanger and then lock him in the fucking bathroom again?? That's your response to your son saying he's being raped in his own bedroom?

Man, I wish he'd just gotten Shabu with Jade.

I can't help but wonder what horrors the sister has suffered, too.

Bangkok streets look so dangerous.

Am very relieved that we are consistently showing boys who give head now.

I love King. He may be horny, but he knows something's wrong.

This boy had to celebrate his birthdays alone as a child goddamn.

Oh, Uea finally gave King a smile.

Alright, I know he's been through a lot but biting the cake that way is unhinged.

King's bed is huge, and yet he basically sleeps in the middle because he's trying to be as close to Uea as possible.

Oh, Uea. I get you wanting your life to be private, but I'm so glad someone seems to listen to you.

OUTING. Drone shots!

I feel like King conspired with Gun on this fall so he could stay with Uea.

Love Uea enjoying King letting him take charge all the time.

Uea drunk flirting with some white boy is sending me.

This final shot with the sunset is gorgeous.

Oh, hm, I don't know about the danger hovering around this new character next week.

So, this was a difficult episode, but I'm impressed with James's portrayal of the things Uea has suffered. I'm hoping we get some translated interviews with him and the cast about the preparation and filming for those scenes. I sincerely hope this show doesn't take us down some sort of parent forgiveness arc because I really don't want to dig for that with Uea's mom or stepdad.

[waitmyturtles]

Because I’m me, and I’m always looking at things contextually and collectively, I watched Bed Friend last night while in the heady mindspace of a fabulous conversation with @wen-kexing-apologist​ about The Eighth Sense, addiction, meds, and the show creators. 

And so. I had been seeing the gifs and thoughts on Bed Friend, episode 9 yesterday, but didn’t really process them, so I did NOT realize...

... how freaking HAPPY THIS EPISODE WOULD BE!

I mean! Thankfully! There’s not a lot to say! UEA, WITH KING’S SUPPORT, WALKS AWAY FROM HIS STUPID FUCKING MOM! Pran’s dad gets his ass hauled to jail! Tian’s dad accepts them! King’s MOM comes around (and oh.... I always, always love the whole “call me mom” thing, it makes me weepy as a longtime wifey). Tongkao reconciles with big bro!

Awllll the lovey scenes. The office bathroom scene. The office team and Christmas time. JADE. Mongkol changing. King handing Uea his meds (crying emoji) (what support that shows, omg). King hugging his mom (OH MY ACHING OVARIESSSSSSSS) (I’M NOT HAVING ANY MORE KIDS BUT MEEEEEPPPPP). 

And, if you either know me or my writing or my blog, you might know what also really got me -- the same scenes with Uea, King, and King’s mom. Uea caring for King, cooking for him, comforting him.

Two things there. First off: I loved that in the second half of the show, King NEEDS Uea, not the other way around, as had been the paradigm for the majority of this show (although the show really started with King needing Uea, as King made the first moves). 

So we got to see Uea as a caretaker, cooing and caring for King. 

We got to see....(here’s me being typical)....we got to see them slowly becoming family.

So I think it’s totally apropos that we see a proposal happening next week. Who would have EVER called this by way of the early Bed Friend trailers, but: King and Uea are going to make a family together. That’s why King getting his parents’ approval was so important, and seeing King’s mom accept Uea was also important (Tian’s dad: two for two!). 

It was either @respectthepetty or @wen-kexing-apologist (sorry, I can’t find y’alls’ posts!) who said that they needed to see King’s backstory on how long he’s liked Uea, and I agree, I want that context, too. To manage a whole love journey FROM bed friends, TO boyfriends, and THEN to lifelong committed partnership -- um, King played a DAMN long game, a RISKY one. (Have you ever successfully turned FWB into a relationship? At least for me, in my youf -- definitely not. That shit takes SKILL.)

Knowing King’s love context and history would be so nice, because homeboy was clearly deadset on getting his man, and understanding how he did it, and how he knew so much about Uea in the process, would just be a cherry on the top of this show.

This show: friends, this was an unexpectedly FABULOUS, EXCELLENT, AND DEEP SHOW. Not as cerebral as a Bad Buddy or an ATOTS (since we’re talking about their dads). Not as sophisticated a storyline as The Eclipse. Not as plain dumb as Big Dragon. It was somewhere in-between, but definitely leaning towards the smart side of that spectrum among these shows. 

No side couples. These guys could be idiots and bumbling at times, but: because there were no side distractions of other couplings, à la ATOTS, the show could REALLY give time and light to Uea’s history and development, and to King just falling, falling, falling more and more in love.

Let me not get ahead of myself and end this show already. We’re getting a proposal and a motherfucking YACHT next week, people. A YACHT!

I want to give this show one HUGE hug for DOING THE DAMN THING and wrapping up ALL those messy threads EXCELLENTLY. WOW. What a worthwhile and fabulous experience. 

(@lurkingshan! List this! It’s worth it!)