#idk if this is relatable to anyone else but fuck if it aint to me

[anyataylorjoys]

[princessmyriad]

.

[shower-phantom-ideas]

You guys just don’t understand

You can’t even begin to grasp the amount of pranks Danny could pull on super heros (is that one words? Superheros?)

Added a read more because I hate long posts

Danny as a ghost is so powerful. Like our boy can walk through walls, disappear, and fly! Do you even grasp how much more unique he is than the others guys??

Jokes aside just imagine if you will. Danny could leave batburger cups next to Batman all the time (he comes back later to toss em out of Big ol B doesn’t)

Like hell we talk about Danny just showing up basically stalking the heros but ok hear me out. He didn’t mean to figure out Batmans identity ok but he was in the right place at the right time and over heard some stuff. Now he follows Bruce Wayne around instead. Always spitting out if a batburger cup. Maybe Bruce makes eye contact with him and one time Danny just leans his drink out to as one does to offer a sip xD the man is horrified.

For the ?Robins? The other bats maybe he leaves gifts of sorts. Stuff they would like made from his ice or something. He can understand becoming a hero young and most (if not all) of them did that. He plays favourites with the younger Heros for sure. But hes still making them have there “God?? Is that you” moments like everyone else.

Hell he could follow Superman around and always make his cape flow against the wind and the Hero wouldn’t know wtf is going on. Maybe Superman hears a very slight snickering maybe but the prank is harmless enough so why worry too much. I mean it’s probably bad someone can do this without getting detected till they give themselves away by laughing but nothing harmful yet. (Yet would emphasise Batman)

I don’t know anything about GreenArrow but I assume he uses a bow and arrow so I could imagine Danny grabbing his arrows and making them fly in crazy wild paths before hitting their mark.

Idk honestly how he would fuck with GreenLatern besides like using his ghost powers to try and one up his ring. Like Lantern makes a shield? Danny makes a better one next to it or in front of it. Tbh it’s actually helping Danny get better at his powers so he does this a lot rip Hal (I did not know he was played by Ryan Reynolds maybe ill watch the newer movie)

He refuses to mess with Wonder Woman because the Phandom has told me she is his fav thus he refuses to prank her. He respects her too much and is a huge enough fan that hes too nervous to even approach. Thus she thinks she is this pranksters least favourite since she is never bothered.

Aqua-man (thx for the correction siri) is pretty fun to prank because Danny can follow the man underwater. Idk anything about science of it but imagine Danny like making a space he can talk in with his ice powers (making a bubble of sorts) to make spooky noises at ?Arthur? (R we seriously going with Arthur in this one?) like I assume without actual fish related powers, or with them I havent seen any thing aquaman, you can’t talk underwater. But also if Danny figures out his real name hes 100% gonna be playing the Hey Arthur theme at this man all the time.

He just lowkey overshadows cyborg. Not in a controlling way but just along for the ride kinda way. He was gonna make remarks about his tech but ended up being stunned by how good it is. “Fam I aint gonna lie. I came here to follow you around and make comments like a streamer but your tech is crazy cool. I mean you could have saved a little room with a more compact cooling unit but I mean this is probably some of the best stuff I have seen outside my family!” Or something idk. Maybe he goes full on antman in coldwar

As for the Flash thats pretty simple. He doesn’t let the Flash run from him. I don’t think Danny could keep up with the Flash at all. Like man cants have everyones powers (can’t he tho) but he just hangs on and pretends to have followed. I mean hes invisible the whole time so not like anyone can see lmao though if (idk who the flash is? So ill use Barry cause thats why google say) if Barry goes too fast he might get Danny to give up the game cause boy is on the side vomiting. Barry is pretty smug about probably being the first to throw the prankster for a loop but Danny is just on the side like “how can you go that fast and not be sick dude”

Like tbh I was gonna just make a list of pranks he pulls on Batman but yall seem to enjoy the Justice League so here go off I guess.

Honestly I had to charge my phone so I forget a lot of the post rip this kne

[legobatjoker]

btw omg okay dont wanna say remembered bc its not smth i forgor abt ofc but last night i did suddenly have a moment of omg world aint ready. bc omg world aint ready !! actually one thing tht made me remember is that i never listened to shake the sheets fr bc i wanted it to be the thing of u imagine ur fave song in tht scene like u said so didnt listen to it when i first read the fic and then i forgor to right after so i listened to it just now and it is a p good song id say !! altho one thing abt me is that i was nott imagining any song i liked as the song mentioned throught the fic 😭 part of it is tht the authors notes did set it was set aroubd 2005/2006and ik they also said u can imagine it being set later if you wnat but i allso literally cldnt do that even when i was trying to so yk my songs releaased before 2006 knowledge is not that great also its kinda funny that the fics like imagine ur fave song here !! but then it is nott vauge enough with its descriptions that u can do that FGHGDHD also . not that there would rly be one that wld fit the descriptions of the song in the fic . esp one (esp since ithink there are actually none released before two months before prom in 2006) that was released early enough . but if you give me an empty space and say put ur fave little belvoedest song here . im going to pick a taylor song. and the tihng abt that is that i literallyyy cant do that i cannot do that. and not bc its embarrassing even or w/e (its actually sm worse than just being normal embarrassed) its like. okay this insane but one thing abt me which is so bad and need to work on but one thing abt me is until proven otherwise i feel like literally every person ever wants to/will wnat to push into active traffic for liking taylor swift. and i literally wasnt even thinking it wld be that bad with a fucking fanfiction becuase its a fucking fanfiction before i got ot that point like i thought i was gonna be able to relate a taylor song to it and yet it appears this complex does also appy to literal characters in a fanfic so i was reading the fic and trying to put any song that i like (ignoring or trying to the like songs being released when it was set issue even) and that would fit for the song in the fic but i was trying to like thing of songs i liked including taylor songs but whenever i thought of some any taylor song first of they wldnt fit lol but also id feel so like. omg the characters l would want to push me into traffic if they knew i was associating a taylor swift song here. the author also probably. everyone else reading this fic also aswell (other than u !!) even tho i ltierally wld not judge anyone else at all for associating a taylor song there infact id think that was soso slay i was so in my head abt the very like. fabric of the fanfic judging me abt it i cldnt do it and gave up associating a song there while also not even knowing the author was thinking of 👍🏽 but also !! idk if iv asked u but i am curious abt what song you like had in mind reading the fic love? :0 bc i do think it is rly cool in theory to have a fic where u imagine a song u rly like as the song the character love but unfortunatly i am too insane for that both in not having a song that fits the specifc standards in mind and also just having smth wrong with me. but i rly do wanna hear the song u associated with it !!!

the war song of all time is<3 well it is miss americana<3

[connorsui]

It's time ...to play truth ...or ..lie ..and it's gonna be ✨️.....Russian roulette 🩷🤪

But that thank you for the tag my luvies: @marthawrites 🥺🩷🩷

◇ Nickname: CONSUI / CONNORSUI : ight so I got this Nickname when I was a pre-teen? (11-12) when I finally started playing Call Of Duty: Black Ops 1 Zombies-- I used to play this constantly with other family members and the number one thing I would do all the time was place ...C-4's ...eveeeerryywherreeee...by the door? ...C-4 ...by the window ...C-4 ...by the hallway? ..C-4 💀💀 and someone ended up finding out that the long name for C-4 was: Compo so I roll with the name Compo for a good awhile until my friends decided it was better for it be shorter ...

Making it CONSUI instead 😭

◇ Sign: ...Aries ...I don't even know if I act like my sign 💀

◇ Height: 5'3 ...the most basic npc out there 🩷

◇ The last thing I googled: I AINT GONNA LIE ...I FUCKING GOOGLED "SIMON X READER" FOR AO3 💀💀💀...I'm ovulating

◇ Amount of sleep: this might be bad for my little health ...but I literally sleep from 2am-9am ..so that's what? ..7hrs? ...I'm running on redbulls and dry scoops of protein powder 🧍���♀️

◇ Dream Job: Aerospace Enginner ...ur girl like building stuff 💅🏻

◇ Favorite Song: yall ever heard of Eat Your Young By Hozier? ...nah ...plz do its a fucking vibe 😭

Movie/ Book that summarizes me: ight lowkey idk what kind of movie or book will summarize ...ME AS A PERSON ...but yall ever seen the show "Shameless" ?? ..it has 11 seasons ..and it describes exactly what you think "shameless" means ....that's me 💀💀

◇Favorite instrument: Violin/ Piano / Chello/ Trumpet / Flute ....I played the last one in middle school ...I fucking hated it ..every bit of my existence ...that middle school music teacher was treating the class like it was sum top ivy league shit ...

◇ Aesthetic: clothing wise I'm very tech casual and like dressing in very cool modernized tones with a baggy essence -- the only time you gonna catch my ass wearing tight clothes are in formal settings 🩷

◇ Favorite Authors: literally anybody ...I ain't picky

◇ random fact about me: ....I love galaxies (anything astronomy related) ...it's habit ...an obsession ...that if the galaxy was a person I would be a stalker 🧍‍♀️

(no pressure tags I still luv you) @dornebloodlines @chompchompluke @aemonddtargaryen @sapphire-writes

and anyone else that wanna go ahead !

Get to know me game!

Thank you for the tags @aemondsbabe and @adragonprinceswhore ♥

Nickname: As an adult I don't really have one! When I was a kid my family called me "Marti" and my brothers called me "sister"

Sign: Libra

Height: 5'6"

The last thing I googled: "Spotify". Had to renew my premium sub! Fucks off ads!!

Amount of sleep: Usually around 8. Sometimes a little more and sometimes a looooot less

Dream job: My dream job is to literally not work

Favorite song: Ahhhh this is such a hard question! I'll just go with my #1 song from spotify wrapped which was "Vacation" by Dirty Heads

Movie/Book that Summarises Me: Apparently I'm drawing a blank because I literally cannot think of anything LOL

Favorite instrument: Piano and violin

Aesthetic: Probably best described as casual. Jeans, t-shirts, flannels, hoodies, dresses. I don't like my clothes very tight. I defs prefer to be comfortable more than anything!

Favorite authors: Stephen King, specifically his older books

Random fun fact: Thank god I'm alive in our modern day and age because if I wasn't my blind ass would have been DEAD a long time ago! I'm a glasses girl. Contacts freak me out. VERY near sighted hahaha

(no pressure) Tagging: @aemonds-fire @boundlessfantasy @theold-ultraviolence @dornebloodlines @connorsui and anyone else who would like to do it!

[princeoframs]

Sometimes I really wish I wasn’t so afraid to tell people the things that are bothering me or upset me or anything else. I wish I had the confidence or like......liked myself enough to feel like I SHOULD say something. Idk

I’m just suffering and it’s my own dang fault :/

Which is whatever ig

[noctomania]

im so fucking scared. i'm pretty certain im going to need a microdisctectomy and it's a terrifying concept to me to have my fuckin back cut into. i'm also terrorized bc the chiro i was going to told me to go to a neurosurgeon instead of an orthopedic but it could take months to go to the neuro that he recommended. at that rate i might as well eat up the rest of my disability to just let it heal on its own. Imagine i booked with him just to be fine by the time the surgery comes up?

but the surgeon im talking to on wed doesn't have perfect ratings. but it seems like they have good enough? but idk it's so hard for me to trust anyone or anything anymore. just thinking about this shit makes me cry.

I want my life back. I can't even play video games. i can't walk. I've lost 15lbs. I quit smoking weed bc even tho it eased my mind it almost made the pain worse.

On top of it all i feel guilty if i dont stay grateful for what i do have. i'm thankful i have savings i'm thankful i still have a job and maintaining my ful income bc of my disability leave, i'm thankful i have a helful roommate i'm thankful for all the details that has been supporting me

i just want to be avble to stand, walk, enjoy my fucking life. i'm so mad sad frustrated and tired and above all else fucing terrified. i can read about this shit all day but it doesnt matter bc it never feels like anything relates to me. i've yet to find anyone with this condition who says they can't lay on their stomach. im terrified that all the doctors ive spoken too have not taken enough time to pay attention to details. i'm scared that ill be rushed into a surgery that either doesnt fix it or makes things worse. i'm scared that everyone is in it for the money. i'm scared bc if a doctor cant even figure out how to navigate simple software to view my fucking MRI how the hell can i trust them to cut me open. i'm scared bc anything medical in america is corrupt.

i'm scared ill never be back to normal. that ill never get back to exercising like i did. that ill forever be reliant on someone else when literally my entire life has been me realizing i can only rely on myself.

it's fucking lonely as hell. worse so even when someone will say "you're not alone" and then immediately leaves.

I am alone I spend all day alone in my bed. Nobody comes to visit me. Nobody checks up on me. I am alone. Whether i made myself alone or not i'm not stopping anyone from coming to find me. I aint moved in months.

I am alone. I'm always alone. Don't fucking gaslight me when I have witnessed this lonliness for 33 fucking years. I'm just as lonely now as i was when i was a kid. wordds mean nothing to me now.

im so fucking tired.

[horce-divorce]

i have my Big appt w the Gender Doctor tomorrow... I've already had my letter and my "diagnosis" (fun fact: they actually asked me if it was ok to diagnose me w dysphoria or w/e, they seem to be aware of the controversy around pathologising language) as well as gotten my levels checked.. i am pretty sure this is the last thing is this big visit where he has to explain everything incl needles, get my consent, and all that shit

soooo... I think im about to start T????? scrreeeeee

lil rant about my nervs under the cut

im very nervous, more about my pharmacy & my family than anything actually related to T. ive had issues w the pharmacy just trying to get my birth control and normal meds (like they'd give me my meds but would straight up "forget" my birth control... very relevant: we have about 100 fundie churches in this town and some actual bona fide fundamentalists cults as well. its not a large town). plus theyve been constantly understaffed and have taken up to a week to fill my scripts. my friend a few towns over gets his stuff from WG and sometimes they give him the wrong needle sizes which seemingly is smth that happens to trans folks a lot... i am prepared to switch pharmacies and/or go running to corporate like a Karen if they give me issues, but i've never had to switch from walgreens before (only to a different wg?) so idk specifically what to do if that's the case

but anyway yeah. lil worried about pharmacy giving me the runaround. and a lil worried about my moms reaction. even tho she's been nothing but supportive, it still seems to surprise her when i talk about being trans. if I make a joke about how trans I was as a kid in hindsight, she's wont laugh along, she's kinda just like 😳 😳 and goes on w her day. but other times she'll bring it up?? one time she said something about "when youve got your van and are transitioning" like she doesnt think I'm transitioning right now lol. i think she's gonna be surprised to find out that im starting T now but fuck I waited 15 years. aint waiting any longer.

its just like. there is a non-zero chance she still has ties w folks from the west mich womyns music fest (good fucking riddance). we actually had a huge fight once (yearrrs ago) bc even in the midst of them going under BECAUSE of their transphobia, she kept trying to get me to support them "as a feminist."

so despite how supportive she's been and that she is absolutely trying I can just FEEL that there are still reservations she has that she simply doesn't want to talk about. she's not gonna tell me what to do w my body or any of my medical care. I'm an adult, and that's generally the rule in our house, but idk it's like. this tension in the air. i think she still separates my "being trans" from "me" in her head, and i think she does it w other folks too (my parents are HUGE fans of Eddie Izzard, esp her Dress to Kill special from back in the day. and yet cannot wrap their heads around her being trans. she's been out for like. 30 years. she doesnt make a secret of it). i feel kinda bad saying it bc she DOES try. she actually corrects my pronouns (and Eddie's!) more than anyone else in my family when others fuck it up. I just don't think she fully understands why she's doing it and im not sure if she cares to. challenge her notion of what a trans person is?

idk its pretty obvious when cis ppl are doing the whole "her > no, i have to overlay an image of a boy on the body that I am seeing bc You Are A Her Who Wants To Be a Him" or vice versa, instead of just "You Are Him". it's like they're trying to translate me into a different language without changing the words. does not compute.

ughhh idk. anyway i am just hoping that she can see how much of a change it makes for me and sees me being happier and calmer and stuff. i already have been WAY more chill even in the last 2 years just since being out. i think that it will make it easier for me to like. express emotions like love and gratitude? i think part of why i've always kinda felt stunted in that area or like I couldn't connect w my parents like I sometimes do w other people, was bc of being closeted.... if she sees me as an extension of herself, Her Daughter, and I cannot be myself fully and truthfully, how can i express my emotions fully and truthfully, they are a part of who I am? I've just been told many times by the world that expressing myself honestly makes other people uncomfortable... anger was the only thing i could reach for so long. oof.

its just funny (not ha-ha funny) how even after having a feminist mom who didnt make me dress girly as a kid; after having lived in a huge queer household; having almost exclusively queer friends for 10+ years; after having BEEN OUT in high school; and now, again, being in a supportive environment where everyone is trying to validate me... despite all of that I STILL find myself feeling guilty for transitioning, guilty for showing people who I am. wondering "Wouldnt it be easier if I didnt. Wouldnt it be better for everyone if I just let them think I was a girl. wouldnt it be easier to deal w my other medical stuff w/o being outed every time I go to a new Spectrum location. wouldnt it be easier for everyone who has to deal w grandpa right now. there's nothing wrong with being a girl. Maybe I could keep being a girl if I had to."

but i know that's not right. if I don't live my life at this point it will kill me faster than anything that's medically wrong with me. i am not a girl. trying to be a girl when I didnt want to be made me suicidal for years. it made me into a horrible person and informed all kinds of terrible decisions I wish I hadn't made.

i know that transitioning is the right thing. to be perfectly clear, I am nothing but excited about testosterone and ALL of the changes it will bring me, there is literally not a single one that I don't want, that I havent wanted with my entire being my WHOLE life. i know that i am doing the right thing because for the first time in my life these are choices I've made FOR ME, for no one else and for no purpose but for the joy and sense of peace and completeness that it brings me to know that I am trans.

my fear is that I won't be able to articulate that to other people. or that ill have 1 bad experience and regress to not being able to stand up for myself or w/e.

so yeah, nothing but actual love and excitement for my T appointment. im just outlining how much cis bullshit really ends up defining the experience of transition for so many of us, and how much anxiety and fear it can still impart. even when you surround yourself with queer and trans support, even when ppl in your life are being cool, even when you are SO SURE of who you are. despite all of that, I am still afraid I'll end up detransitioning because of other people's issues...

but tbf i kind of have this with everything. I move into a new place, it TERRIFIES me rather than brings me comfort. how am I going to lose this home, too, and how long do I have? i've never felt at home in my body before, and every time I thought I found/built a home, I lost it. I've been evicted and lost my housing so many times and... have kinda had the same thing happen w my body, in a sense. feeling like if I start trying to decorate how I want ill get in trouble somehow bc nothing good can truly last and there's always some higher authority to answer to... idk.

anyway I need a proper therapist obviously lmfao and I dont expect anyone to read this. to be clear I am mostly very excited and optimistc. just nervouscited u know what i mean

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hey!! 👋🏽😄 I know you said in your last rant about SK8 and Reki and Renga that you were one of those people that always looks up and learns from others, but after your last Langa edit, I just wanted to remind you how immensely talented you are. I might have not seen your first attempts at editing, but I know how it looks like when you're barely starting something, and I'm sure everyone is proud of the progress you've made and many people looks up to you as the level of skill they want to achieve. You're doing amazing! 💖💖💖

Hi, my love!!!!!! ASDFSDFGHG that’s soooo sweet, thank you so much for saying this, it really means the world to me <3 Oh, haha I’ve deleted most of my old videos so it wouldn’t hurt anyone’s eyes lmao T_T I’m still a bit nervous each time I’m uploading my vids to the day to be honest, even with so many subs rn, but at first I really didn’t have any supporters at all and my god I sucked at this, but I guess the love for my fav ships was stronger apparently haha. So I always get silly happy at each nice comment and feedback, so thank you seriously. 

I really love love love vidding, Idk why but when smth comes out the way I wanted it’s a super addictive feeling for some reason, but many times I just looked at the final result and just threw it in the trash and started over and my god how many times SonyVegas crushed and didn’t autosave the project. I’m like Suga now, I’m pressing the save button each 2 minutes, cause don’t want to lose anything xD Being someone’s inspiration is truly an honor to me, I’ve got some messages that hit me too hard. Still feels weird bc I’m like “but do you know that I can’t even use photoshop tho, how do u like me now then?” lol.

I’m always drawn to talented characters, bc they amaze me, esp the humble ones. Like those who hate Haru or Lanaga just buffle me honestly. I understand that they’re pretty and talented and everything, but they’re also the sweetest and loveliest human beings, so like...??? And I adore those who don’t whine and get what they want. I just can’t help it. I’m a strong believer in the fact that "you can do anything if you put your mind to it”. So far it worked in real life so suck it lol.

People are also saying like Langa doesn’t deserve to win this and Haru doesn’t deserve to be in Olympics, like Langa didn’t snowboard since he was 2 and Haru wasn’t swimming every day since he was born. I’m like.. and you need to check in the mirror if your face is a shade of green. BTW I’ve also been in a professional sports for quite a long time since I was a little kid, ballroom dancing and adored it back then, and I did not get jealous at ppl who were talented than me, I was watching the tapes actually with a popcorn. And oh god those large competition events when you sit there for days and give it all, but then you’re like 296 out of 1000. Why was I proud instead of being sad? Idk xD It was fun.

So thanks for liking the vid, cause I even regretted uploading it a bit yesterday. Sadly everyone already knows that we lost this fandom to the middle schoolers being extra, so they do not care for anything each episode except for this ship, so that’s what I got for posting a just Langa vid:

And etc. and that just made me sad, cause I do not like such fandoms, like it’s not even related to the video, that I’ve been making... with love.  Also thanks for the "sama” title, I’m flattered, but editor only wants to vid matchablossom for now, so like there’s no need for any warnings. I’ve been in such horrendoes fandoms, that I’m immune to this. I also in fact didn’t know some keep ruining Langa’s page and saying that he steals Reki’s screen time... cause he’s aparently the only main character...? ...lmao? I didn’t even know Langa can be hated tbh. I wasn’t really ready for all the drama that followed me making a vid about him.

I’ve already deleted some comments, cause I’m like what this even has to do with the vid about Langa? No, I am not obliged to make a vid about Reki, too. What if I post a matchablossom vid, everyone will only start commenting “do renga”, cause fuck your efforts? I’m like... I hate such fanbases, seriously. I do not even know where this is going, but their fans are already pissing me off. I’m still trying hard for this to not affect my point of view about the ship, cause it’d be kinda unfair to them, but its getting harder each week istg.

And I maybe can’t take requests, but I love when some try to get me addicted on their ship with passion and great arguments. It happened to me with some nice ppl. But def not with agression and stupidity haha.

Cause apparently its one of the fandoms where you can’t NOT care for the main ship, even if you accept it for the only possible Langa ship (cause he doesn’t give a shit for anyone else, so like what’s the point), but it doesn’t do anything for you. I’m like... thanks for threatening. This will make me on board ASAP. Like it’s not the epitomy of love to me... I’m sorry? LMAO 

Some anon even sent me a “you’re dense” (literally thats it) ask after that Reki ask. I was tempted to write smth like “oh I’m sorry, this is the most epic love story of my life and his character is the most complex in the world and he’s the best friend and the most inspiring human being that ever hit my screen. can I become undense now? xD”. But you know I do not know if they’d realise the sarcasm and my pride sadly never allowed me to sell my life values for a bunch of 12 years olds to love me lol

My sister always laughs and jokingly says “but you’d probably get much more subs if you made a vid about this or that, but at what price that would be lmao”. Cause yeah, I never could make myself vid smth I do not like, cause I love vidding and do not want it to be associated with things I do not like, plus it’ll most likely turn out ugly, if I do not care. My mom says that she can feel love I put in my shipping vids that’s why she loves them. I really don’t think she’s wrong. But that also kinda makes me an idiot technically, cause I’m not into many of the popular ships, and some popular animes I just find really basic. 

Also I’m like 100% sure it ain’t happening, but even if they miraculously suck each other’s dicks while sitting on a skate board, I can still have the rights not to care at the end. Like did I sign some form where I’m obliged to love each and everyone canon gay ship even if it’s not what I like? Like gay is not the type of love in relationships. You can only care about his ass like Lan Zhan for example or you can only care about your ass. Like that’s different types of relationships, and whatever you like you like. So get all the way of people’s backs, please.

Also do ppl know that you do not need to be blind to the bad sides of the characters in your ships? Or you just gonna be like “I suddenly can’t see” for forever.

So really thanks for such wonderful message and liking the video and for the boosts when I need them and not being an ass to me if I’m not being obsessed with smth, when you like it. (like I think we have different ship in bnha, right? but we’re still doing great tho, thanks for being an angel <3)

I still didn’t expect this becoming a Voltron 2.0. situation tho. We in our twenties see everything differently, I guess. I do get extra about “their love is everywhere”, but I do not get extra by anonymously attacking ppl, threatening creators and yelling “queeerbating psychotic blind assholes if these two aint fucking by the end of the season I’m shaving my head and jumping out of the window and shoot the director. you do not ship it HARD? YOU DUMB FUCK. THAT’S THE BEST LOVE STORY IN THE WORLD”. Like damn, take your blinders off and see the world, kid. Firstly, it’s definitely not, secondly, ppl see love differently in general and at each age too.

Ah, also you must kill Adam, cause he’s a pedo apparently. Like he ain’t even a threat to your ship, unless you’re blind, but they’re still at it, like they do not know that this kind of age difference is literally nothing for an anime? And that there are canon ships with a huger age difference left and right, too. It’s like its their first time approaching an anime or smth. Like in anime world character can literally kill 1000 ppl with his bare hands and bathe in their blood and we can still stan them, depends on their story, ok? Also Langa couldn’t care less for his advances, so like separate Adam from your ship pls. Like, fuck off, if someone is interested in his character. Yeah, he’s a weirdo for reasons, but anime kind of weird do not apply to real life. Stop acting like you’re some purist, when later you’re gonna ship smth else and it suddenly will not apply. Also rules do not apply to animes, everyone knows they do not apply. These are not western cartoons, my god. And 24 years old flirting with 16 year old is defiinitely not the weirdest shit anyone has ever seen in the anime. Chinese BL has characters who were 14 and 30 when they met and happily married. Also FICTION is not life. Literally no one cares. If you’re scared for your saint eyes, do not watch animes, you’re gonna have a heart-attack from what you can see there. Also we’ve seen gayer bromances in animes, who are just bromances, so pls do not shoot anyone if it’s not canon.

So basically I was kinda pissed yersterday, cause fuck them for ruining the tag, but after chatting with my hommies and your ask, I’m okay again, I just have to avoid this fandom and stick to a tight community xD. I just got used to my nice fandoms and forgot for a bit about the precautions you need to take if you’re in one of those. You know. Who make a circus out of lgbt, instead of supporting it, and make other ppl hate being in fandoms.

P.S. sorry for this partially unrelated rant, your messages really always make my heart bloom, so thanks for supporting me, and I know you’re proud of my progress, too <3 and this makes me happy. LY

[thoschei-rights]

Season 12 but The Master kept pretending to be O??

Basically self-indulgent Thoschei with a twist.

lots of typos bc?? i aint got time to go correct stuff yet? I will later?? 

So Spyfall is resolved, The Kasaavin are banished back to their realm and the Fam and Doctor are clueless as to the true mastermind, Barton taking the fall while the Master continues to pose ad O, having decided he’s enjoying the game of tricking her too much.

Perhaps among their texts they’ve grown close, or perhaps the brief time together in the outback led to events?? ;) But either way, he changes his mind mid plan and continues to act human.

Since he never leaves the message or has the confrontation in Paris, the doctor remains unaware of Gallifrey’s destruction. The fam wait off on asking their questions since she isn’t off with them.

Orphan 55 happens, and while the fam go do their shit, O stays with the Doctor bc admit it, she was like oh ;-; when everyone went to explore. My poor baby. So they hang out together before everything goes to shit, how cute?? Things get resolved, but with the revelation of one of earth’s potential fates, and the potential that the doctor lied about knowing, the fam decide to ask to know more about her. She shares what she believes its true at the time, being born on gallifrey and being a timelord, O looms in the background looking awkward bc he knows none of that is true and he feels horrible keeping the truth from her, it makes him as bad as the rest of the time lords- but he is selfish and he doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing, he’s started to really enjoy her company, its everything he’s ever wanted, every star.

And then it’s ruined when Yaz asks to see her own planet. Blissfully unaware of its destruction, she takes them, and so they’re right there with her when she sees, opens the doors to the rubble, the dying flames- and oh god. The fam are horrified, she’s horrified, O has to fake it, while being utterly glad those nasties are dead- maybe he gets to sneakily comfort hug her??? like she’s trying not to tear up even after that whole shit show of the confession dial, it was her home??so yeah he’s like hugging her but he’s so angry bc they dont deserve her tears?? 

The doctor is off after that, and the fam know why, and none of their words of comfort do much, because sure they’ve just witnessed the death of earth too but that is just one timeline, can be completely avoided, while gallifrey is gone forever, and she believes she’s once more the last of her kind. it hurts.

they visit tesla all the same, and when that big ass scorpion looking alien (bc im sorry i didnt like the episode and i’ve forgotten her name so....) mentions dead planets, she can feel the fam stiffen, as though the doctor is gonna blow at any minute, but she keeps calm, tries to bury the rage, but O can tell, can tell by the way her arms shake, hands clenched into fists in her pockets- and it hurts him to see her like this- the longer he spends around her, pretending to be someone he’s not, he’s just realizing more and more what a dumbass he is and that he’s still as in love with her now than he was all those years ago in the academy- none of the truth will change that-

and then boom the shit show with the judoon occurs and suddenly O is confused af because that Lee guy could ONLY have been him. Who else on gallifrey was stupid enough to hide out with the doctor, marry them and die for them?? him because he’s a dumbass? but he’s a dumbass who definitely doesnt remember this memories?? which theoretically in the doctors timeline should have been sometime after the division? or during? he’s not sure? but to his knowledge he shouldn’t have been alive at this stage? and now he’s not sure what the fuck HIS own life is too? did they take his memories from him too? has he lost part of his life? suddenly the truth doesnt seem as known as he thought- so while the doctor is reeling from the information of Ruth being her somehow? O is having his own mental crisis because what the fuck did they do to him too? what is he missing?? 

praxeus continues as similar as it did originally, O is only the tiniest impressed at Yaz, ever since Spyfall he’d sensed she was the human with the most potential to not be utterly worthless so he’s glad at least one of the doctors latest pets seems to have some initiative?? but yeah i dont wanna change much about praxeus? its not important- except the doctor saying she’s a romantic and the master wants that? wait what- he’s conflicted about his own thoughts? he wanted to break her, destroy her with the truth? but he also just wants to wrap her in his arms? make everything as okay as he can? what the fuck is even happening with him? jsut your usual ‘im a mess’ vibes lmao

when can you hear me? rolls around, it happens in a similar way, i dont wanna get to into it because i dont wanna think too much...the episode was weird, it was just weird-- i cant?? although maybe bc that zellin and the lady whose name i forgot...but they were immortal right?? maybe their species is the doctors species?? huh? huh? think about that- but don’t think too hard bc i hate that theory and i’m gonna pretend i never had that thought- lets just ignore can you hear me even though the end made me cry for yaz bc lol relatable sis, relatable. do whatever you want for this bit fam, idc.

Anyyyyyway. the bit I’m waiting for... Villa Diodati ;) O is ready to smack Byron round the face, fingers itching towards the tce everytime he tries to flirt with the doctor. the lone cyberman appears and wopdie doo earth is going to be destroyed and the doctor is about to do something stupid, thinking there is no other way? the master is like um lol change of plans i dont want the cybermen to win, look how in pain my baby theta is?? i gotta help?? oof? and idk, his patience is like nope all gone? and he whips out his TCE on the lone cyberman and boom. crisis averted? except now the doctor is looking at him in horror and shock and- she realizes who he is then and there, and normally he’d made a big drama out of his, throw in some words, a speech about how easy it was to deceive her, how he destroyed gallifrey- about how he was under her nose this whole time- but he doesn’t, instead he meets her gaze and can barely manage to whisper an “im sorry” and wow shit i wasn’t gonna write that version, i was gonna have feral confrontation but now im stanning a sad master who just needs a hug and some therapy because nothing makes sense, he thought he had everything figured out but he doesnt and he just wANTS HIS FRIEND BACK uiferkghlujkfaghjfkgladhfajkg; i m fine 

i dont know what i wanna do after this point? it could go a lot of different ways?? but thoschei rights bitches. could go angst confrontation and then she abandons him in whatever century that was set bc wow i studied frankenstein in school but i couldnt tell you what century the author is from bc im dumb? 18th? maybe idk that seems likely? or 19th? but anyway yeah or maybe she’s just relieved someone else is alive? or is she shouting for answers or?? i dunno.... but woop ??? 

wow this turned into a big mess but hopefully you can kinda see where i wanna head with things? after this he’d probably show her the truth? i dunno how that’d go down, but he’d be there with her?? But anyway, this idea is free for anyone to write, but holla us a link and I'll give yall a free promo at the end of this post!!

Versions of this that yall Lovelies have blessed us with:

[blurglesmurfklaine]

Top 10 t swizzle songs

WHOOOOOO HOWDY DOODLE DO HEY JAS!

this is so fucking hard because I’ve done the comprehensive ranking thing before but it CHANGES SO FREQUENTLY!! These are the current top ten songs I’m obsessed with and I’m realizing that I absolutely ADORE Speak Now as an album

10. Enchanted

Yes. Just. Fuck yes. Bops so fucking hard, literal fucking butterflies perfectly captures the feeling of meeting someone new and totally hitting it off! THIS NIGHT IS SPARKLING DONT YOU LET IT GOOOOO yes I have cried to this song

9. tolerate it

this is only on the list because I grew up the youngest daughter in a Mexican household. have I cried to this song? not yet, but I’m working on it

8. I Almost Do

I don’t care what ANYONE SAYS: Red is THE BREAKUP ALBUM AND I ALMOST DO, WHILE IT DOES NOT CARRY AS CLEAR A NARRATIVE AS ATW, HITS ALL THE RIGHT EMOTIONS OF NOT BEING ABLE TO MOVE ON AND YES I HAVE CRIED TO THIS SONG AS WELL

7. Long Live

Have I cried to this song?? If “promise me this: you’ll stand by me forever but if god forbid fate should step in and force us into a goodbye, if you have children some day, when you show them our pictures... PLEASE TELL THEM MY NAME” OKAY OF UOU THINK I didn’t TEAR UP JUST FUCKING WRITING THAT THEN YOU ARE DEADASS WRONG OKAY LONG LIVE IS ONE OF THOSE HAPPY SONGS THAT REMINDS ME OF GRADUATION SO I JUST BAWL UNCONTROLLABLY EVERY TIME IT PLAYS

6. Dear John

“I’m shining like fireworks OVER YOUR SAD EMPTY TOWN!!!!!” my god. MY. GOD. Who hurt her? Kidding, it was John Mayer and we all fucking know it and oh my fucking god??? yes I cry almost every fucking time I listen

5. cardigan

cries once, almost got caught expressing emotion, never again. But damn “leaving like a father” GIRL WHO GAVE YOU THE FUCKING RIGHT???

4. New Year’s Day

We should have seen folklore coming when she threw “please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere”. Honestly this is one of my all time favorites because it’s just. The instrumentation is so simple and stripped down compared to the rest of the album and I know some people think it doesn’t fit but listen to the words!! The words are stripped down, and she is so ducking emotionally vulnerable throughout the album and then FINALLY on the last track, the production reflects that.

And NYD is set after a party, right?? and when I listen to it, I get that feeling, that almost echo-y feeling you get after a fun night out??? where everything was once so loud and no it’s achingly quiet and you kind of just sit and absorb the energy? I get THAT feeling listening to it, which I think is the point she’s trying to emulate anyway! because the line “I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Years Day” just translates to “we’ve had fun, the party is over, but I still want you. I want you now and forever more” and NYD is kind of the only “stripped down” song on that album!

So she’s essentially saying in the “party songs” “hey I like you. I’ve never felt like this.” and then in NYD she wraps it all up by saying “fun’s over. People are gone. I still want YOU” AND THEN I SCREAM YES THIS SONG HAS MADE ME CRY SEVERAL TIMES

3. All Too Well

I will not argue the validity of the bridge. The bridge is fucking immaculate, we all know that. And it’s one of those “scream at the top of your lungs!!!!!” moments for SURE! But what fucking kills me, is the moment right after.

“time won’t fly it’s like I’m paralyzed by it. I’d like to be my old self again, but I’m still trying to find it”

It’s that moment when you’re just too fucking broken and exhausted to scream anymore. you have all this love for someone and it’s got nowhere to go now, and so much of your identity was designed around loving someone else that you don’t even have yourself to get through it.

10/10 would and have cried several times and wrecked my vocal cords to this song

2. Cornelia Street

OKAY THIS SONG JUST MAKES ME REALLY FUCKING HAPPY LIKE I SMILE EVERY TIME IT COMES ON AND YES I STILL CRY WHEN IT COMES ON BECAUSE SHE CAPTURES THE FEAR OF LOSING SOMEONE SO WELL LIKE “FYI if I ever lose you, I WILL go out of my mind!” AND IF THAT AINT ME BABEY IDK WHAT IS

1. peace

Lord. This song. THIS SONGGGGGGGG

it’s definitely one of those I overlooked the first listens through, ngl, I even skipped it a few times at first.

and then I really listened to the fucking lyrics and oh my god. Oh my god.

Initially, Taylor wrote this song with the idea of “I could never give you the peaceful life you crave” in her mind. As in, she will always have tours, always have paparazzi following her, etc etc. but the universality of her text just let me apply that shit Willy Nilly to my life

My interpretation of it was really sealed down when I watched the folklore documentary and one of the co-writers mentioned his depression and how he relates peace to that and his partner. Struggling with mental health sucks like. so bad??? And I’m already kind of a fucking mess underneath all that and there are several people in my life who I love dearly and just. I will never be a source of peace for them. I’ve accepted that, and I just hope that everything else I bring to the table is worth it. I just hope it’s worth it to stay in my life, ya know?

12/10 the guitar riff reduces me to tears the second it hits my ears

I did NOT intend for this to get so long oops but HERE YA GO! Thanks so much for the ask!!

ask me anything!

[tellywoodtrash]

immj2 13.10.20 lb

askjdshkfjdhkfkjdhfkj vansh being told the number of things that went wrong in the 24ish hours he wasn't in this house of horrors and his face is like THIS IS EXACTLY WHY I DON'T LEAVE YOU FUCKING DUMBASSES ALONE

lol, like i said in the firsttttttttt lb, vansh is taking this news realllllllll chill. he's not mad at riddhima at allllllllll for keeping all this from him. 

saasuji, chachi, and aryan adding some shuddh desi ghee in this aag. can't blame them. riddhima IS a colossal pain in the ass.

lmao one more bomb thrown on vansh, ki sejal bhi kidnap hui hai aur yahin kahin hai. yaaaaaar, i never thought i'd feel this bad for Ghar Ka Bada Beta after shivaay, but this man is truly having to deal with The Most.

accusation after accusation thrown left and right, and vansh is literally like

man, idk why kabir does any of this devious planning and effort. with allllllll this dumbfuckery, it's just a matter of time before the raisinghanias go extinct from SHEER STUPIDITY. he should just bide his time and let them wipe themselves out. should take like, 3 months, tops.

VANSH HAS A BOMB OF HIS OWNNNNNNNNN: “SEJAL MERE PAAS HAI.” WHUT??!!?!?!?

lmao the panic on allllllllllll these fools' faces hearing that vansh has sejal. dadi and siya are the only oblivious and unbothered ones here.

hahahahahaha vansh turns around and sees YET another fucker who's out to test him and is like MOTHERF....... AB TU KAUN HAI BEYYYYY

vansh playing march 24th waale modiji and is like NONE OF YOU FUCKERS LEAVING THE HOUSE FROM NOW ON. NO ONE. EVER.

dang this growly vansh aint the smiley simp from the last 2-3 eps. i'm intrigued.

he promises everyyyyyything's gonna come out in a bit. yissssssssssssssss *grabs my popcorn from the rasoda*

vanshhhhhhhh OUT!

my queschun is ki does mishra know he's fully being made to shady shit by kabir or not!?!?!??!?

mishra not picking phone. he dedddddddddddd, lol. #RIPMishra

KABIR WTF DON'T BE PULLING THE DUDE'S WIFE AROUND LIKE THIS. OH GOD THEY'RE FULLY GONNA GET MURDERED TODAY. 

ainvayi ka nakli fikar and some chugli against vansh.

REJECTED. honestly, she's really asking to be murdered, lol. sis, you can't be playing both parties like this.

lol kabir is meeeeeeee, so sick and tired of heterosexual ppl in love.

blah blah blah find out what he knows.

lmao everyoneeeeeeeeee is panickkkkkk.

WHY DOES HE KEEP TAKING HIS BLOODY MASK OFFFFFFFF

AND DESTROYING PROPERTY AND MAKING NOISE TO DRAW MORE ATTENTION TO THE ROOM. KABIR, SATYAAANAAASH, I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE SMART ONE HERE.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP.

lolololololololololllllllll mummy ki haalat kharaab.

kabir using his half brain cell and not panicking out of control. good.

god bless this vapid praani. idhar sab ki hawa tight hai aur isko apni hairstyle ki padi hai. he's like an evil rudra from IB.

chachi is relatably stress-eating carbs. my most potent coping mechanism.

aryan is like, chillllllll this is mauke pe chauka type situation. 

ASDLFKDSLKFJDLSKFJDLSJFLDSKJFL VANSH WHY ARE YOU LIKE THISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS HE LAMINATED IT AND EVERYTHING HAHAHAHAHHAHA GODDDDDDD I LOVE HIS PETTY ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

chalo inn madam ki baari ab, phat ke haath mein aane ki.

helllllllllllllllo, sir. immediate aankhon ko thandak now that he changed out of that red suit.

damn, my aankhein not the only thing thandiiiiiii in this room. temp just dropped to -20 with how chilly he's being to her.

SIS HAS WIPED HER SWEATY UPPER LIP SO MANY TIMES KI FREEFUND KI MOOCHON KI WAXING HO GAYI HAI FRICTION SE. BEHEN POWDER THAT SHIT AND STOP TOUCHING IT; YOU'RE GIVING THE WHOLE GAME AWAY. JESUS. ISKO SPY BANAAKE BHEJA HAI?!?!?! ISKO?????? 🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

lol does he look like he gives a rat’s ass about sejal and your ramkathaa??????

DUDE STOP RAMBLING. JESUS. YOU'RE SOFA KING BAD AT THIS.

speaking of bad sofas, wth is up with the RIDICULOUSLY high backed chairs in this house, they look fucking insane.

vansh willing her to STFU with his eyes is honestly me.

“maine apni pasand badal li, riddhima.” yiiiiiiiiikes. he's not just talking about cologne, is he???

but also, you deserve much better than this twit, so good for you, my man. you deserve to be with someone who at least has six (6) brain cells.

dhat tere ki. he still seems into her. bloody heterosexuality. hum sabko le doobegi.

“itni nervous kyun ho tum aaj?”

NERVOUSNESS JAAYE BHAAD MEIN; I WOULD FUCKING NEVER LET ANYONE TOUCH MY FACE WITH THEIR BLOODY HANDKERCHIEF EXCUSE ME SIR THIS SKIN TAKES A LOT OF MAINTENANCE I CANNOT HAVE YOU DABBING AT IT WITH YOUR FILTHY POCKET CLOTH AND RISKING BREAKOUTS I MUST INSIST YOU REASSURE AND COMFORT ME FROM 2 FEET AWAY THANK YOU

riddhima trying valiantly to bluff her way through this conversation but vansh is like me on online shopping sites after filling my cart full of stuff: NOT BUYING IT.

literally me any time someone touches my face. internally screaming and thinking about how i’ll have to go dab tea tree oil all over to preemptively stop a breakout.

uhhhhhhhhhhh, she didn't say anything about wanting to know what sejal said to you????? mind-reading is very rude and an invasion of privacy, vansh!!!!!

4 pm, kab bajenge bloody 4, out with it alreadyyyyyyyyy.

lol that tinnnnnnnnny smirk of his as he leaves.

no but forreal, imagine living with this dramaticass man who promises big shows at a given time, like honestly i would be so fucking annoyed. at least shivaay never planned his big living room all-family conferences and made ppl WAITTTTTTTTT for it.

mummy is like kabir plsssssssssssss gtfo.

riddhima is useless as ever and has no info. big surprise.

AEDKLSJFLDSKJLFSKJFLKSDJL HE SNUCK UP ON HER

mummy always been knowing that riddhima is a fucking nikammi.

ok notttttttttt cooool my man. phone is private shit. 

off kardiya shaaaani ne.

lol kiskoooooooo pappu bana rahi ho behen, this man knows everyyyyyyyyything.

was that HIS phone he just picked up and left? usmein recording kar raha tha toh??????

honestly can you even blame vansh for being such a shakki shakeel, his house is filllllllllled with fucking snakes.

THIS FOOL JUST BE WALKING AROUND USING ALL THE MAIN DOORS AND SHIT WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU MANNNNNNNNN

asjdkasjdkajshkdsj and the prize for most valiant effort at hide and seek goes to.................

peripheral vision naam ki bhi koi cheez hoti hai, bhai. use karle.  

4 BAJ GAYE LEKIN PARTY ABHI BAAKI HAI, ABHI TOH PARTY SHURU HUI HAIIIIIIIIIIIIIII 🥳🥳🥳

hahahahahhahahaha what the fuck his ass actually has a fulllllllllblown sirens blowing at 4 pm. like not a small tinkly alarm too, this is like those sirens they have blaring at big factories and shit.

riddhima dressed in that promo waali sari where nothing good happens so............ good luck sis.

(but also this is the sari anika wore when they fucked in laal ishq so maybeeeeeeeeee good times are incoming???)

HE ACTUALLY TURNED AROUND AND TOOK HIS PLACE, FOR MAXIMUMMMMMMM EFFECT. THIS MAN AND HIS FLAIR FOR THE DRAMATIC. I LOVE IT.

“yeh sab kya ho raha hai vansh??”

“chaar baj gaye, dadi.”

yes. totally a satisfactory explanation for this shit. thanks vansh. but you COULD have mentioned in your notes ki 4 baje ko jo hona tha, was a scheduled fire drill.

ANY HIGH TENSION SITUATION MAKES ME WANNA PEE REAL BAD, AND GIRLS, MY BLADDER IS REAL HURTY RN.

also lord, this one’s base makeup is too yellow toned too. just look at the contrast between his face and his ear.

askdlajlkdjlasjdlasjlkj he sat right on THAT table.

“toh bataao mujhe: kya hua, kyun hua, aur kaise hua.”

.............. like.... who are you talking to? and what exactly are you referring to? you want me to like start from the big bang and the creation of the universe and evolution and all that jazz, ya like, from this morning when i woke up?

(it’s stupid shit like this i would ask that would get me fully murdered in a sitch like this. damn my smartassery, it’s gonna get me killed.)

lol aryan is up first. we love to see it. OUT WITH IT, YOU WEASELLY LITTLE SHIT.

noooooooooooooo, he didn't even let him properly stew and sweat over it. ouff vansh, kuch toh dramatic pause dete.

“afwaa phaili hai ki meri nazar baaz se tez hai..........”

why all the guys on colors these days gotta be baaz and cheel and god knows what else?!?!!?

OH DAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

OH HELLLLLLLLLLLLLL HE DID USE HIS PERIPHERAL VISION AFTER ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL GOOOOOOD JOBBBBBBBBB VANSHHHHHHHHHHH

KABIR TU TOH GAYAAAAAAAAAA #RIPKABIR

akjsadkjhskjdhkjskask ngl i am fucking thrilled by this development

riddhima and mummy having simultaneous heart attacks though. lol idc, die bitches.

lmao kabir looking reallllllllllll ulta-chor-kotwaal-ko-daante for someone who got caught hiding inside a table.

DANG, I ACTUALLY CANNOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT EP????????? SHIT. THIS STUPID SHOW HOOKED ME IN SOOOOOOOOO EASY. 😫😫😫

[enchantedamusedslightlyconfused]

73 questions.

I was tagged by @wescoasts @machine-gun-casie (BABES)

Almost all my friends have been tagged and I don't wanna be that asshole so ill try not to be. I tag @awkwardrocker @backoftheroomandnotbelonging @trixiehoe @she-who-is-timey-wimey

On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now?

Well it’s finals week so about -864. After that I have two weeks of legitimate nothing where I will bake my heart out so we’ll see

Describe yourself in a hashtag?

#yikes #ughshesinherfeelsagain 

If you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be?

Milo Ventimiglia, Kells, Rook.....being a music video love interest is only my life’s pipe dream 

If your life was a musical, what would the marquee say?

And that’s on daddy issues and no supervision...

What’s one thing people don’t know about you?

I used to model like went to modeling school and got paid for it type shit

What’s your wakeup ritual?

get woken up by my dog tired of hearing my alarm, walk said opinionated quadruped, feed quadruped, get dressed, COFFEE, then take life as it comes

What’s your go to bed ritual?

melatonin gummies (gotta make anxiety fun), skincare when executive dysfunction will allow, brush teeth, fight dog for my spot in bed (moving a 90lb animal is no joke), turn on my sleep playlist or use my ambient noise app, stare at ceiling

What’s your favorite time of day?

witching hour followed by golden hour

Your go to for having a good laugh?

lately tiktok and Kellyvisions, previously vine compilations or Netflix specials

Dream country to visit?

Ireland. I NEED to go to the motherland. My families castle is still standing and I get in for free. its on my bucket list FOR SURE. 

What’s the biggest surprise you’ve had?

getting into nursing school and chiropractic school. I’m a loser and I’ve never had a surprise party. I’d melt in puddle of love tbh

Heels or flats/sneakers?

Flats 98% of the time. Heels are reserved for business casual necessity, Halloween, or if I’m feeling myself 

Vintage or new?

both, depends on the item

Who do you want to write your obituary?

Amy-Sherman Palladino 

Style icon?

lmao a what? on the real though catch me fucking with those eco-friendly kitchen witch vibes. All the dainty jewelry, linens and converse/docks fam

What are three things you can’t live without?

my dog, my family (found and blood), healing people however I can (medicine ruined me for any other career and its sucks you guys)

What’s one ingredient you put in everything?

tbh salt, I question a recipes validity if salt isn't involved 

What 3 people living or dead would you like to make dinner for?

Kells and the band (I'd be too nervous for a one on one), a dinner party with my MGK fam, Elvis

What’s your biggest fear in life?

Failure, not accomplishing anything 

Window or aisle seat?

window all day everyday, on the wing preferably cause I like to feel the landing gear #pilotsgranddaughter 

What’s your current TV obsession?

Roadies forever, pry that series from my cold dead hands (also Gilmore Girls and Criminal Minds)

Favorite app?

tie between Tumblr and Pinterest (im an aesthetic slut)

Secret talent?

I am bomb at disney princess songs, the girls I babysit for treat me like a jukebox at bedtime, cutest thing ever

Most adventurous thing you’ve done in your life?

delivered a baby has hands down been the coolest thing I’ve ever done

How would you define yourself in three words?

I fucking hate this question. always have. empathetic, resilient, intuitive 

Favourite piece of clothing you own?

overall: my senior prom dress. its emerald green, backless, with a slit to upper thigh chefs kiss 

everyday wear: Colorado sweatshirt

Must have clothing item everyone should have?

I second Jude: over sized hoodies

Superpower you would want?

nonspecific healing powers so they aren't limited to physical ailments

What’s inspiring you in life right now?

Colson

Best piece of advice you’ve received?

HA. probably that the body remembers more about trauma than the mind and your seemingly irrational physical reactions to things are your brain’s attempt to protect you

Best advice you’d give your teenage self?

his mistake does not define your worth. I went for a variant of these boys aint shit don't judge me cause she needs to hear it

A book that everyone should read?

Harry Potter series (yes the whole thing), Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, Wintergirls by Laurie Halse Anderson, The Giver by Lois Lowry 

What would you like to be remembered for?

empathy, the way I made people feel

How do you define beauty?

FOR THE LAST TIME ITS SUBJECTIVE, things that give you peace, it could be a song, a person, a sunset, a scone, a leaf. If it makes you stop a second and exhale then its beautiful to you

What do you love most about your body?

holy trigger question Batman...my eyes, my hair color, texture, and its ability to grow

Best way to take a rest/decompress?

drive with the windows down and blast music while singing at the top of my lungs

Favorite place to view art?

unexpected places, like street corners, carnivals, just somewhere it takes you off guard and makes you stop and pay attention

If your life were a song, what would the title be?

it’d be one of those crazy long 2000s fall out boy titles for sure, subject matter yet to be determined 

If you could master one instrument, what would it be?

violin hands down, it hits me different

If you had a tattoo, where would it be?

I have a bunch planned, plane on my right shoulder, Kells related between 3rd and 4th ribs (maybe lower in case I ever need a chest tube), watercolor portrait of my dog at some point location TBD

Dolphins or koalas?

dolphins are stoners and they're super smart, but koalas cause they’re grumpy af and honestly same

What’s your spirit animal?

again Jude and I are vibin: I've been identifying with a phoenix as of late. according to pottermore im a greyhound though (yes a patrons is a wizarding spirit animal. fight me)

Best gift you’ve ever received?

seven year old me was stoked to get a functional microscope and metal detector, I was in my egyptology/archeology phase, I still have them lmao

Best gift you’ve ever given?

oh hell idk...I made my cousin cry once cause I made cupcakes for her birthday party, they were cherry limeade flavored and had little straws and everything. that was pretty cool, granted she was seven. I also made my teacher cry cause I made sea salt caramel chocolate cupcakes for her going away party. I guess my baking brings people to tears

What’s your favourite board game?

candy land, battleship, cards against humanity even though there isn't a board

What’s your favourite colour?

forest green atm

Least favourite colour?

bright yellow/orange, its offensive to my general The Dirt Mick Mars disposition

Diamonds or pearls?

pearls (actually opals though)

Drugstore makeup or designer?

not picky provided they are evironmentally friendly. I really like Besame Cosmetics though

Blow-dry or air-dry?

air-dry, I don't have the patience for blow drying

Pilates or yoga?

yoga

Coffee or tea?

COFFEE, im still learning to like tea

What’s the weirdest word in the English language?

holy shit how much time do we have, my favorite weird word to say is fistula or omphalocele (they're medical conditions, don't goole it unless you have a strong stomach) 

Dark chocolate or milk chocolate?

dark chocolate

Stairs or elevator?

stairs 

Summer or winter?

neither FALL BITCHES   winter if I had to pick cause I love Christmas 

You are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat?

burgers

A desert you don’t like?

red velvet cake....just why is it a thing that exists 

A skill you’re working on mastering?

baking scones or shit that’s flaky in general 

Best thing to happen to you today?

being tagged to do this twice, I felt special for a hot second (thanks babes)

Best compliment you’ve ever received?

that I would make a good doctor (I handled a scary pt situation like a champ, they didn't know I threw up after I made sure my pt didn't die. puking in a foreign country on the download is a skill in and of itself)

Favorite smell?

bergamot, baking bread, baking spice cakes at Christmas

Hugs or kisses?

HUGS CAN SAVE THE WORLD

If you made a documentary, what would it be about?

gifted kid fall off

Last piece of content you consumed that made you cry?

In These Walls - Machine Gun Kelly

Casual Sabotage - Yungblud

genius assholes...

Lipstick or lip gloss?

lipstick for special occasions but actually tinted chapstick or lip stains 

Sweet or savoury?

savory to eat sweet to make for someone else

Girl crush?

Brittney Furlan Lee, Alexis Bledel, Lauren Graham 

How you know you’re in love?

you look at them and just say yep. them. usually while they're doing something stupid 

Song you can listen to on repeat?

imma out myself but Swing Life Away - Machine Gun Kelly

If you could switch lives with someone for a day who would it be?

the grass is not greener ya’ll. id rather go back and relive days 

What are you most excited about at this time in your life?

hopefully passing my first trimester of chiropractic school. fingers crossed pls

[shardminds]

i’m watching the dust storm and drinking wine (liveblogging below the cut)

fuck colin with long hair and long beard haha nope 2 seconds in and i already had to pause. LOOK AT HIM! LOOK! 

i have no pics to offer but i love him? i love this colin. brennan? i can’t remember. he’s so cute. look at HIM! LOOK! look at him! HE’S SINGING AND IM GOING TO CRY

sorry but? who allowed him to be so talented? what? and look so good whilst also looking like he hasn’t had a shower in years?

SEVEN YEARS LATER? clean-shaven!!!!! hello!!!!! i have a lot of emotions. and colin is most of them. with a name like brennan, i half expected him to be irish. 

OH GOD SHE’S... oh brennan, oh honey. brennan is cute i’m sad i love him

i don’t know who nora is but i sense a lot of tension there– oh that’s why.

OH SHE’S THERE AND HE’S THERE AND!!!!! !!!! BRENNAN!!!!!! LOOK AT HIM!!!!!!  HIS CUTE FACE!!! i want to cry and i love him. TELL HIM YOU WERE ENGAGED, NORA! TELL HIM!

“i’ve seen your facebook!” “we’re not friends...” big mood

he’s so cute LOOK AT HIM. oh he’s going to miss his flight. i also want to do shots with colin, enchanted 3 baybeeeeeee!

nora... babe... why are you... not picking up on... any cues... 

“i didn’t breathe for a minute.” “I’m glad you didn’t die.” wow... same

oh he’s for real gonna miss his flight. damn. 

OH HE SAW A PICTURE OF HER FIANCE(ex fiance? david? idk?)

nora... you’re somethin... for sure... 

THEY KISSED YIKES. O DAMN. DAMN. 

ok sex in the bathroom stall is a great idea! HAHAAHAHAHHAHAHA fuck i’ve seen gifs of this scene but aww actually it’s cute. 

ah her room is a mess because her fiance tore it up also brennan is cute and i’m overemotional. he’s also very drunk which i can relate to.

WHY ARE YOU SINGING. STOP I’M NOT EMOTIONALLY PREPARED. WHO ARE YOU. STOP IT.  he tucked her in and i’m weak.

AT WE SAW A GLIMPSE OF CHEST HAIR FOR A SECOND!!!!! suddenly i am alive.

when people say colin is benjamin button they really mean it like... damn he looks so young when he’s clean shaven... who are u. his face!!!!!! who!!!! thank u to mr and mrs o’donoghue for blessing us with this gift! 

this film makes me want to smoke 200 cigarettes and cry.

NORA STOP AVOIDING THE QUESTIONS

“do you want to... um... share some mozzarella sticks with me?” yes. 

LOOK AT HIS FACE! you can really see his cheek scar in this light.

He found a piano for her i love him HFeuhgufhiwefe i don’t know how to take the accent it isn’t great but it’s better than carrie pilby

ok so she’s playing the piano and that’s fine but brennan looks absolutely ENAMOURED. mate you’re getting in so deep there’s still just under an hour of this movie left and i’m EMOTIONAL at brennan’s face and how they cut to soft kisses yes thank you i love that for me i love this 

OK THEY’RE GONNA HAVE SEX ON THE PIANO FUCK ALRIGHT.

grammarly is going mad at me because i’m not capitalising anything or spelling anything right. 

OK THAT IS STRAIGHT UP PIANO SEX ALRIGHT ALRIGHT ALRIGHT OK ALRIGHT OK OK ALRIGHT OK OK ALRIGHT ALRIGHT OK NICE OK LOVE THAT OK I LOVE THAT FOR US OK NICE OK OK GREAT OK also he’s crying which is nice but also they’re straight up having sex on the piano and i love that for us nice thank you whoever wrote this for that kind of content 

ok but now nora seems not interested anymore and i’m sad because brennan is like heart eyes emoji why is she flirting with other people i mean– NO HE’S AT THE TABLE ON HIS OWN LOOK AT HIM HE’S SO CUTE NO BRENNAN I LOVE HIM AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

“if we had a kid, what would we name it?” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa

i’ve got to the point where i cannot fully comprehend this movie... nora, you are looking for outs mate... stop stringing our guy brennan along. also brennan mate stop trying to pour all your feelings into another person. life aint work that way.

damn... nora are you ok???? SHE WOULDN’T HOLD HIS HAND... NORA... U OK?????? ok but nora what u doing... are u ok sis? are you??? 

i don’t even have anything else to say other than brennan is hot and nora is flirting with other guys and eeeeeee yikes. 

did she... in the bathroom... with that other dude???? yikes. oh she denying it. 

“THAT I LOVE YOU” shit okay brennan okay calm down.

O WAIT HIS WHOLE SPEECH THERE WHAT THE FUCK... at this point i am convinced that these two are not really meant to be together... and that’s probably the whole point of the movie.

ok but... he went back tho... also, the cuddling is cute. i’m here for that. 

is he really gonna do that... okay brennan... ok. you do that. you make that choice. 

ok but nora you need to find yourself sweetheart and not in someone else, same goes for brennan. you don’t need anyone else to complete you.

OK SO Y’ALL BOTH GONNA ACT LIKE LAST NIGHT DIDN’T HAPPEN? SURE! THAT’S HEALTHY! 

“did you just ask me to move in?” “yeah” colin’s cute whistle thank you The Dust Storm film. AAAA LOOK AT HIM PRETENDING TO PLAY THE UKELELE FUCK BRENNAN IS CUTE!!!!! 

Brennan said ‘Emily’ and i’m dead. More Wine Please!

okay but does she have a drinking problem because at this point most of their whole thing seems to be based around drinking together.  i also need a wee but i cannot go because Brennan is here being cute and asleep. colin’s abundance of bodyhair is so sos os ossosososososososososooososo lovely thank you to whatever genetic disposition blessed him with the gene that made him super hairy and you can quote me on that

oh nora honey

also brennan looking real hot here, looking real nice. i zoned out of what he said because he’s so 100% beautiful.

his accent is... not great. but i still love him. 

“STOP BEING A FUCKING PUSSY, BRENNAN!” love that for me. love this. 

damn they really are both leaning on alcohol as a crutch to their relationship. can’t relate *sips wine*

ahh hhhhh hh he’s so CUTE AAAAaAAAAAA aAAAAAAAAA  filming them kiss hello thanks for that content i love that for me. 

do people really use their phone at the urinal???? is that like... a thing??????

“in your next life who you coming back as?” “your boyfriend” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaa AAAAAAAAAAA ah 

ok i need to wee PAUSE! 

UNPAUSE!

brennan is cute aaaa the filmed footage from the phone is so cute aaaaaaa fuck i’m emotional OH SHIT HER EX IS HERE... and she’s making brennan leave... damn... ok. oh and there’s his colleague and the escort from earlier on... ok... damn. “i don’t think i’ll be doing that steve.” BRENNAN!!!!!!! OH NO.

i wanna cry because i know brennan is gonna get his heart broken over this yikes i’m so sorry. OH HE’S GETTING INTO A FIGHT! ok

the pool screaming scene is a direct rip of perfect blue but it’s ok bc i love that film too. colin’s chest is too good to not be on show for 90% of his roles i’m sorry i don’t make the rules. 

this whole kid talk i’m sad. i don’t even want kids but like... brennan would try his best to be a good dad and i know this. 

why she putting out cigarettes on herself... that’s not good. i’ve done that... it’s not nice. nora and brennan, we need to get you both into a good therapist and get you talking about your problems and addressing them and coming to terms with them. 

damn, brennan singing is great thank you for sharing this with the world. also nora is going to cry and me too bitch me too.

MORE WINE.

i don’t even know how this movie ends but i know that i’m already sad with the anticipation. OH LOOK AT HIM PLAYING SONGS I N PLAID AND A BEANIE! 

oh... oh s he left in the night... nora... nora why... ok yeah we saw this coming it’s ok brennan we can work through it we got this. also that song at the end thank you colin for singing thank you cheers thanks thanks a million.

ok so i finished it and... brennan deserved better. 

i’m sorry to anyone that actually read through this whole thing. thanks though!

we need to protect brennan at all costs. 

[kiicn-blog]

did you hear about the monaco trip? it’s legendary at ucla. KIAN KANG is going, i’m so jealous. their instagram makes it seem like they’re pretty dynamic and they’re all about “do what you do best” & texts left on read. can you believe they’re only twenty-three and they’re going on a free trip to monaco for the summer? hopefully they don’t let their aloof side show too much on the trip. • HAS FIVE SIBLINGS • BROKE UP WITH PARTNER OF THREE YEARS TWO MONTHS AGO

uh henlo, quick intro before i disappear for the evening and write my second paper :( you won't see me till like tuesday :(( afternoon :( after class :(( anyways LMAO i'm aye ! i am twenty three :/ she/her pronouns and in the est timezone ! if u haven't already added me, add me on discord new girl could be the 1 for me#8402 , some of u added me and didnt come say hi so i hOPE after u read this u hit me up :( bc . i rly dont kno who is who tht added me JKFMGDSG dont be shy i do not bite :DDD

okay ima keep this fairly simple, let's start w stats ! 

full name: kian kang, no middle name, call him kk haha nickname(s): kiki, k, ki, do not call him ian he won't ever talk to you again, respect his vegan white ass name age: 23. date of birth: november 2nd 1995. hometown: new york, new york. ethnicity: korean. gender: cis male. sexuality: bisexual. hair colour: black. eye colour: brown. height: 5'11. tattoos: has a tattoo of a lion on his right index finger and a tiny heart behind his left ear. piercings: ears, three on the right, two on the left.

okay quick background ! im not gna write a lot and keep it brief bc ive been writing for school and my brain is DEAD i dnt have the mindset to go into depth bout anything but if u wnna know anything else just ask 

kian comes from a well off background like his mom ? a sugar DADDY ! like his dad married into MONEY !

they live in greenwich village in NYC n tht area is so expensive so u can say he had a nice upbringing, went to the best school

anyways ! quick family talk, his dad rly didn't love his mom , and rly only married for money and security and when kian was born he wanted kian to have all the things and opportunities in life that he didnt so he stayed w his mom

n his dad ? gay as FUCK kept tht hidden for god knows how long

it wasnt till kian was like 15 when he was like o ? father thoust r gay huh

yeah so tht marriage ended LMAO and kian wasnt rly happy that his family broke up

at the wedding when they asked does anyone object ? he stood up and said ME bitch but he was joking but he wasnt joking he was serious , u can say hes .. happy .

he has two siblings, they're still babies, twins, they're like 12 thats baby ok he loves his siblings theyre annoying but loves them ! assuming the other three are gna be from the step sibling plot xoxo i can alter this

ok here's a rundown on  kian now

kian , is a very blunt individual like he can be straightforward about a lot of stuff, he doesnt rly sugarcoat his words, it's just how he was raised

sometimes he can come off mean but like it's just.. how he talks and sometimes he doesn't realize what he says is wrong he just says it like this man has never been told to shut up,

he was always favored in school for the way he talked but sometimes tht warranted eyebrows raising left and right but he was still adored for his stupidity and lack of sense

he's an alright kid , can be nice when he wants to be , gentle soul once u rly get past whatever walls he put up

like he doesn't like to show that side as often unless u LOVES u but i feel like he should have air signs in him ..hmm.. will think bout it KFMDG

what am i missing ..

i feel like i missing something,

oh comign from n y of c he's super into looking good, even when he bums it down he looks good, he'll also call u out on ur choices and be like ur wearing tht ? today ? yikes...

if u want an honest opinion he's not afraid to be honest , v brutal xoxo

i think thts it

anyways PLOTS

so. . this is a possible plot ! and im gna base it off the song 'the wall' by anders if u wanna go take a listen teehee anyways, imagine this . it's all lovey dovey for a year and it was going well like over the moon relationship like you almost think these two would have gotten married but then after the year mark, things began to go down the drain? they started to hang out less, fights would break out, sex that would follow the fights but like that's it.. tht was the only intimacy, and sometimes they'd pretend they're okay for a day or two but then have a complete fit over like idk the wrong food order, cheating speculations could have arose and then they really really tried to make it right their third year, trying to go over what went wrong but then they decided to call it quits BUUtt since it's a fresh wound, they could have some slip ups if ukno what i meaaan anyways yeah if u wnna do this xoxo pls be prepared to plot back FKDG

a possible familial relation, like cousin . only cousin really, obv ur chara would have to be korean or half korean but someone who just knows kian inside and out this could be like an angsty familial relationship or a good one

ok another anders based plot ! listen to don't call :)) anyways this one, sometime after his break up he decided to have a few hook ups here and there, meaningless ofc but this specific hook up left a mark on him , maybe by the way they talked to him , he kept coming back for the four second intimacy, it left him confused n dazed , confused bc why am i feelin weird i just had a heartbreak

honestly im just down if anyone just wants to have a simple hook up plot thts cool too no thinking just lmk ! bc he's had a few after his breakup

enemies / ppl who don't get along ? idk kian could have come off COMPLETELY wrong and ur chara could have taken it the wrong way, insults were thrown here and there and they just don't talk with kindness

a sugar baby ! kian got MONEY ! i told u his mom ? a sugar daddy xoxo he doesnt mind spoiling ppl but only one he aint tht generous also u have to build a relationship with him if u want him to spoil u

uh thts it if u have any other plots just lmk xoxo we dont have to just do these

[xz017]

.

oof. okay so imma do the latest tea???

got out of shower to hear my mum talkin to Agnes spillin the tea abt their friend/coworker

the one with that Kid my mum wanted to have a playdate with or whatever the annoyingly studious and clearskinned halfasian lookin girl i really envied.

her mum has a live in boyfriend who is basically like...an alcoholic mental case rip god i hate alcohol and i hate people who drink it like i only do it so i hate myself more and die but like this guy basically playin with knives n guns in the house and the kid who is like 19 idk why im callin her kid is so Over it like apparently she hasn’t been coming home and like

basically me in 2016 era when my mum was too generous n Helpful lettin ppl back into our lives and our House so i spent christmas morning 5am walkin in the cold n watchin 3 films until it got dark and stuff like that

girl be actin homeless---mood

so it came to a head today so Agnes is spillin the tea n her husband in the bg(omg it weird hearin him rip he was my military hs instructor wild) n my mUM is so selfrighteous n mad like

‘blablahblah well rosalie is being dumb she should put her daughter first she being sick in the head it her Choice’

n im like eavesdroppin havin warflashbacks of the dumb hypocrisy she has DOne lmao

‘has she no thought like what if Tyler gets raped/sexually abused by that man she’d let her daughter be in that environment???’

i mean it wouldnt be fair of me to be like...eyemoji on this cos she technically doesn’t know? but 19 may 2018 never4get lmao

anyway so my mum’s like our room is for rent and it’ll be far cheaper they dont even have to pay rn!!!

cue me being like...um...Money...generosity...i dont...LIke

i was conflicted here like idk i met the girl like 3-5 times im envious of her work ethic n her better asian disposition than mine cos she obviously prettier but she has better prospects and that’d suck if her life be like that

but also??? like...life be like that it was like that to me like who saved me????????????????????? 

um...no one

like why is that on me or US TO BE NICE n helpful im so tired like damn which is relevant to the next point anyway

cos earlier had a convo with my mum i was eyemojing healthcare profs i was like ‘pls stop bein on ye phone pls tell me info on ye opinion on respiratory therapists...what abt PA’

n deadass she be eyemojing me like STICK TO YOUR COURSE

n i was like...-ugly pleadin emoji eyes- n i was tryin to explain that i didn’t want to be so focused on one thing that if i decide this medical thing is what i want to pursue i’d need 1-2 years just for the PREREQS which is like 5 classes and 1000 clinical hours or minimum 6 month healthcare paid job. like if i decide i want to go to school for that i already have the Stuff and just Apply.

n she was like...you had your chance i bothered you to be a nurse a few years ago you were stubborn if you did as i said you’d be earning good money now but you wasted time

n i was like...oof i can’t say anything to that it’s tru. it real life tea it fax i wasted time n im old n im ruunnin out of time i hate myself alot i hate hate hate

and idk we got to talkin abt money n life cos she was like you have to find something you can learn to LOve

n i was like??? WHY I GOTTA SETTLE N FOOL MYSELF TO DO SO im super annoyed abt that mindset

cos the thing about a bloody Arts degree is there’s too fuckin many broad possibilities n they all aint even that good. like deadass if i was a STEM major ugh like if i was a Bio major prospects are so clear: forensics, research, premed,labtech. Meanwhile polsci for example: uhhh teacher? prelaw? politician? uhhh government work? n there’s like 111 different subdivisions of that n it’s like??? wat the fuck

deadass what am i gonna do with international security is that even gonna pay well like...the fuck do i know is it relevant ??? Doubts

n she was all like...PEOPLE JUST GOTTA DO WHAT THEY HAVE TO TO SURVIVE YOU GOTTA FIND YOURS N STICK WITH IT

n i was lowkey panique n frustrated cos i really REALLY hate being stuck in 1 ting n im like i HAD ACTING YOU SAID NO

n she was like pFF i wanted you to have something REAL cos if you dont make it in acting you’d be on the STREETS

n i was like...lmao lil did she know imma be on the streets next year smh this year actually

n she was like talkin abt the harsh reality of the workforce and how you gotta make do at how ppl treat you (patients) n how you might not even like your coworkers but you gotta deal with it because that’s what ppl do to survive

n she was talkin abt undeserving patients with no healthcare n i was like did you just hear yourself so you want them to die cos they dont got money and she was like 

no??? why get hooked up in the ICU when you’re braindead wasting government money taxes we payed for you don’t understand cos you dont have a job and dont get your salary cut cos of taxes and these people come in acting like they got something to give when they yell at your face acting like they know what they’re talking about they act entitled when they have nothing homeless ppl getting money and illegal immigrants are selfish bringing their kids to be hurt here

n im like...theyre life is ...shitty what are you talkin about n she was like so? why dont they stay and make it better??? one of my very first patients asked me why i was in america and i said i come from a poor country and they said why didn’t you stay and try to make it better? and i couldn’t say anything cos u know what they were right why dont illegal immigrants do that??? n im like...

cos theyre literally...RUNNIN and they want ppl they care abt i.e. children to be far away from that as soon as possible bruh ye think imma wait for change deadass there a reason why we suffer duterte he actually get shit done??? we dont have to wait for change the same way ppl who speak nice n are polite do but is stuck with bureaucracy and lowkey bein corrupt deadass stay in ye lane

n she’s like well i hope you’re right im done bein an idealist im a realist now i believed in good i wanted to help the world now no more

n im like...no you’re not a realist, you’ve just been hangin out with a republican

and she gave me a sideeye 

but deadass im ...scared like i really hate the empathy because when she was being serious n talkin n being honest abt things for once i started to unwillingly see things from her point of view i really felt it n i was scared i’ll be like that im scared she’s right

im scared i’ll end up Real n selfish like...i already am ? n bitter? like i care about so very few Personally and am willin to let others suffer to keep it safe n prioritised?

im scared.

like especially with racism all these years my mum’s been telling me it’s not that im racist just wait til you work with them they act so entitles and loud and make everything about race

n i almost told Her abt it earlier i skyped w her earlier we had a tea spillin moment about our ethnic relations bein racist but then idk we talked alot i guess the text got buried or unseen

like i said i was scared n didn’t get to unpack it like im scared because ive been livin with my roomate and like...ive been excusing it as a personality thing and that if it were anyone else different skin colour id still hate them just the same which i still maintain is true but like?

my RM is loud n she makes everything abt race like deadass me n my FM be just eating dinner and she passes by us and goes on a rant about harvard asians being a Blok to black ppl from getting There n im like...im tryna have dinner so i can get energy to deal with this stressful ass school

n she always talks like she knows what she’s talking about like ‘jewish ppl control the federal bank’ n im like...it 1am in the dark quiet of our shared room deadass i dont wanna tell the binch thats antisemitism cos she gonna be like im black how can i be racist smh

im!!! scared alright like i hate my roomate for proving my mum right when i try so hard to set things right like maybe that’s why i dont tell anyone about my situation other than Her. i never told my parents about the berkeley livin situation they already warn me enough to be careful n i just keep tellin them thats racist

i have so much........THOUGHTS n........DILEMMAS...n FEARS but like i just have this blog i cant trust anyone else to talk abt it n the only person i am willing to talk to abt it will be busy and im so ashamed abt these things but she was so sweet about givin me the heads up about her schedule 

like i hated that i had to get an ugly ass haircut today cos she came back to me n we couldve talked so i guess rip she was complacent n did stuff cos she replied late from then on like that dumbass haircut was 15 minutes ugh. our talkin pattern today was like...dashed lines timereply wise? i asked her if she packed earlier (pre haircut)n she said yes but rip a few hours later she was like...I need to pack 

wat is the truth rip

the tablet bein emo like...mood but my child rip.

my love be packin n spendin time with fam before leavin for london tomorrow

n even after that she doin...Stuff. rip.

which is ye know good for her rip.

i just hope she dont go iceskatin deadass one slip n she can crack her head open or break her neck or paralyse her spine like...??? why do humans wanna do dumb activities

like omg she admitted to me today she a serial jaywalker and WORSE with music n headphones like

binch thats why i didnt wanna enable you further by gettin ye airpods deadass bye

n she was like??? tryna equate it with my risky risk like ummm

mine is for science n validity

hers is just carelessness n chosin lazy convenience over idk...the responsibility of self vigilance like...

bruh ppl shouldnt promise someone 91 years if they be continuin to do dumb stuff consciously oof rip

but other than that like...im...really proud of this resolution she be undertakin officially on the 14th?

im nervous abt it cos i really want it for her too. i want her to get the proper sleep n i always hated her givin excuses like ‘IM FINE ON 4 HOURS OF SLEEP’ ‘I NAPPED 3 HOURS 38293820 HOURS AGO IM FINE I MADE UP FOR IT’ um...blokt. get proper sleep binch i love you tf???

prioritise work cos ye gonna regret not givin it yer all??? n ye payin for this???

what fun??? we capitalists now we want that money rip.

i see that shift you know rip i saw it comin a year ago.

that dont mean we republicans rip we still care about others n the inequality? but like i foresaw us getting acquainted with the harsh reality of the world n how difficult it is to get a job--which she experienced along the way.

n rip she wants many things bookmarkin them n honestly same rip

i want a stable warm home for this family n a shiny diamond to get disassociated by extra im a simple man

meanin im selfish n im ready to prioritise meanin im ready to make the choice for others to fall apart/behind if it means puttin This first rip

god pls dont make me a republican this so ugly

# 1 she’d hate me #2 i’d hate me

now im sad

im dead.

omg rip earlier too as she said goodbye i told her i loved her and she was like ‘i love you more’

DEADASS I WAS LIKE LMAO!!! girL i dont think you understand im literally Ready to put you and our possible future First like...im not messin around what skitrips with rich ppl what friends my love is potent n extreme n COncentrated like im sorry ik you feel love for me but you cant top This rip she not ready 

like the um ‘partially wanna make my life’s work abt knowin what might hurt n kill ye so i can kill it first or blok it well’ kinda love

the ‘im already savin for at least HALF a first month deposit in an overpriced london in case you wanna settle down wit me Mayhaps n im not touching it for ANYTHING’ kinda love

the ‘im thinking of a winter home in the tropics so you suffer less n im plannin the floorplans already rip just in case’ kinda extraness

but anyways the gall of this cute lovely human rip ‘i love you more’ ummm try Again smh

bruh i love her too much i bet that’s scary for her rip it might be a Burden tbh she so young rip 

meanwhile im old n ready to rot but like...

i wanna be mortal wit ye before i do

but ye know wat lads i saw myself in the mirror today like 5 times OOF. this meatform...keepin me...Humble. 

bitter but like...humble

‘like of course sHe not ready not only is my personality like dis but also...my outward form how could she introduce me as a Spouse’

‘wow i look like that oof it good i remembered i am undeservin of full intense love like in the films n fanfiction they always between attractive ppl after all it only 1/2 it not Equal’

‘wow bruh ye really upset she spendin time n resources elsewhere when you be lookin like That? ye dont have much to offer bro take the L’

oof so that’s the personal tea i can think of?

had a meghan marke talk rip i can’t believe i was right??? i had twin vibes!!! but i was hoping for like a variety situation rip im worried a lil abt the whole birthin Late ting but she can afford the highest care rip it fine she rich.

my love was talkin abt how pretty MM was n i was like rip is she triggerin Her a lil rip worrirooni

rip speakin of babies like she was showin me this smol gummybear n im like same das me heart n she was like :( n i was like it only fits you

n she was like so no children then:(

n i was like!!! rip if it Ours of course that Counts n i was a lil shook like rip she said she didn’t want them Really so i always get guilty when i talk abt the future or realise i mentioned kids or carelessly name drop Hyaline n Benzion like...im dead rn just typin that like what if she read this big shame bro

but ye know what this is already long n she gonna be busy maybe that’s the key. TOo Much puts ppl OFF so ye mayhaps we sneaky ! ?

anyway i was tryin to get her thoughts on it rip but like she was all iDK ASK ME IN 13 Yrs n i was like...

sighemoji + sandemoji + resignedemoji

rip we talked FAaC a lil. cos she Dared!!! to liken me to her brother just cos i showed her my cheap youth boy shoes smh

At first i was super offended n disgusted but then i was like rip eyemoji if ye into that

then she was like ew nO

then i was like um ye already play the ‘daddy u like me young huh’ card

which is like idk is like technically? joking but it’s like that post ye know abt ppl bein ‘whether or not im actually jokin or flirtin depends if you into it’ but also like schrodingers racism like ‘it was a joke bro!!!’ but they actually bigots.

so it DIFFICULT for my brain to Confirm rip like...eyemoji what is the truth

but like??? im rip. willin. rip. to. rip. Try. rip.?

really i am rip. it Her. bruh. im only hopin she dont have a golden shower kink but. trust i...Will follow thru.

nO IM REMEMBERIN THE DOO DOO POST DESPAIR

rip anyway that whole thing reminded me of FAaC origins which was porn n then somehow sHe was like imagine if egggsy was a singer he’d sing like ‘age is just a number’ shit n i SPILLED THE TEA ABOUT A TING IN PT 3 im so weak sand

i miss the gays

i wanna give them justice n happiness but the 2027 excuse is rl nice for my ugly procrastination issues oof but i wish them well

add: rip had another talk with my mum i really wanted her to understand my thought process about wanting to get the prereqs for medtraining done beforehand

n she was like...I UNderstand but Normal people--

n i was like ‘IM NOT NORMAL I DONT KNOW HOW TO CHOOSE I HAVE NO IDENTITY’

n she’s just like SHOOKE n mad n clearly dont understand that im fukt up in the head ‘...IC AN’T BELIEVE YOU!!! iF YOU’RE ABNORMAL YOU WONT GET HIRED N YOU WONT HAVE A NICE JOB’

n im like...well i mean what can i say to that it’s not like it’s not tru rip

Big sand honestly.

it gonna be a long few days imma do my best to leave her alone she needs her time rip i love her so much rip sand

i feel like a dumb ugly dog god fljækadfkøad h8